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c0wgurlz · 1 year

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Trouble On My Left, Trouble On My Right

Chapter 1: Sweet Caroline

Kayce Dutton x Reader/OC - Friends to Lovers

He grabs ahold of the belt loops on either side of my hips. “I just-” he shakes me, “I’m tired of people treating me like some wounded animal or-or like some bomb just waiting to go off. You’re the one person who-,” he licks his lips, “you’re my person. Please don’t do that to me.”

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UPDATE: CHAPTER 2

I'm a long-time fic writer and an even longer reader, but this is my first attempt at writing for Yellowstone. If ya'll have any notes on characterization or just anything in general, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thank you for reading xx.

As always: I do not own Yellowstone (2018) or any of its characters. This work is not monetized.

THIS FIC IS CROSSPOSTED TO AO3. It is not posted to any other site. I am lookingcold on AO3 and that is all. I do not give permission for my work to be posted by others to any other platform.

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I was no stranger to the Yellowstone Ranch, but bumping my way along its seemingly never-ending dirt drive, I still couldn’t help but feel out of my depth - like a little kid made to ride a bike with no training wheels. Its sprawling pastures surrounded by the towering mountains, standing at attention like century guards, intimidated me, and I had spent nearly every day of my childhood gallivanting around the property. I can only imagine how outsiders feel the first time they dare to mosey onto the ranch. Now, all this isn’t to say that I wasn’t looking forward to returning to Yellowstone, I undoubtedly was, but being there at the (somewhat) wisened age of twenty-seven felt significantly riskier than it had at the naive age of seventeen. The Yellowstone was trouble, and I had spent the last ten years of my life trying to stay out of it. Putting myself right back into its clutches went against every instinct I have.

Still, I was excited to see the people I had come to know as family. When my daddy died when I was only twelve, Mr. John treated me like one of his own, and when my momma remarried a man who was known for his fiery temper and love of the drink, he took me in as his own. My daddy and Mr. John had been best friends, so truly I think he felt as though it was his duty to care for me, but I like to believe he loved me all the same. And I loved him back. He taught me everything I could ever need to know - plus some. Helped put me through college. Even supported me when I wanted to take on the pageant circuit - although I don’t believe he minded the extra bit of shine my winning of Rodeo Queen added to his reputation. Hell, I even loved his ragtag group of kids, Jamie included if you can believe it. They were my family, and I wouldn’t have traded them for the world. Except I did, because Yellowstone was trouble, and I couldn’t let myself get caught up in that. And neither could Mr. John.

Sneaking up on Rip was somewhat of a talent I had cultivated over my long years spent on the ranch. I’m proud to say that I’m still the only son of a bitch who can do it. And that’s why I park my truck a good half mile down the road from the corrals. There’s a small hill in the dirt drive that obscures the shoulder of the road as you approach the house, one that Kayce and I used to hide away in, smoking or drinking, trying to stay out of trouble while getting into it. I park my truck on that hidden shoulder, closing my door as quietly as I can before approaching the road. As I walk, I stick as close to the fence line as possible, relying on the looming fence posts to provide me with cover. I know that if I can make it past the corrals unseen and circle around the back of the barn I’ll have Rip jumping a foot in the air before he can even catch a whiff of me. Lucky for me he’s locked in on what I can only describe as clownery, supervising some gangly kid as he works to stay on a bronco. Taking my golden opportunity, I creep through the barn, hushing whinnying mares as I go, before sidling right up to Rip’s left side.

“Now that kid has got balls of steel,” I comment, hands splayed across my hips, head nodding in appreciation.

I wish I had the words to appropriately describe Rip’s reaction. With a little hop and shout, Rip whirls on me, hand splayed across his chest, breath thundering in shock. “Jesus, what in the fuck do you think-” And that’s when he realizes who exactly he’s about to chew out. His eyes go wide and a grin starts to stretch across his weathered face. “Well as I live and breathe, if it isn’t sweet Caroline herself, gracing us with her beauty.” He takes a step towards me. “Come ere ya little menace!”

Before I know it I’m wrapped up in the warmest, most comforting bear hug on earth. If Mr. John had been like a father to me, then Rip had been like a big brother. My protector and confidant - and the target of my and Kayce’s many pranks.

“Where have ya been?” He jostles me around. “Haven’t heard from you in over a year, and haven’t seen you in well over that. Too busy for us old cowpokes?”

I hold onto his hands, squeezing them. “Well I haven’t been ignoring ya’ll on purpose, I’ve just been a bit busy. I -” And that’s when Mr. John comes ambling down the lodge steps, casual and collected as ever.

“She’s been in Oklahoma, working PR for the rodeo circuit. And based on what I hear, she’s pretty damn good at it.” Before I know it I’m embraced in a fierce hug, and if I didn’t know better I’d say I heard Mr. John sniffle. “It’s good to see you, honey. Welcome home.”

Rip looks between myself and Mr. John, confused. “You mean Caroline’s back working the ranch? We ain’t got any beds left in the bunkhouse.” At this, he turns to me, “Not that I’d expect you to sleep there but I know how stubborn you can be about doing what’s right.”

Mr. John cuts him off. “No.” He responds gruffly. “She’s not here as a ranch hand, she’s here as my PR specialist.” Casting Rip a pointed look, he murmurs, “Ya know with all the problems we’ve encountered lately I thought we should call in an expert to help with damage control, and who better than family.”

Rip nods gravely, a closed expression covering his face that I don’t particularly like the looks of. “Well if that’s what she’s here for then I’ll leave you two to talk privately. I’ve got wranglers to wrangle and supper to check on.” He turns to walk away, but pauses, angling his body towards me. “If you need me, Caroline, for anything, don’t hesitate to shout.”

He looks so serious, so grim, I feel the small, unsure age of eleven all over again. “Ok.” I nod, my voice coming out thin and reedy. “I will.”

“I mean it.” He’s firm. “Anything.”

“I know Rip.”

With that, he gives a final tip of his head to Mr. John and I, stalking off to holler at the gangly kid - Jimmy.

“What was that all about?” I turn to Mr. John, big-eyed and pale.

Looking resigned he says, “You know Rip, he’s just protective of you is all, and he knows I’m about to ask a lot of you, get you involved in stuff we normally would try to keep you out of.” He shakes his head, knocks one of his boots against the other. “But you’re my last resort honey, you have to know that. I wouldn’t drag you into trouble if I thought I could help it. Honest.” His voice is so sincere, soft in a way it rarely is. I would have believed him anyways, but now there’s no doubt in my mind. I have to do right by Yellowstone, by the Dutton family, by my family. I have to stay, wade through the trouble, and bring everyone out on the other side.

“Tell me everything I need to know.” It comes out harder than I expected, harder than I’ve ever heard my own voice. It makes Mr. John look up. His features turn steely, matching mine. We’re in this together now.

“Walk with me, let me show you where you’ll be lodging. I’ll fill you in.”

Ten years of keeping clear of trouble down the drain, but I owed Mr. John, owed Yellowstone, a debt, and I wasn’t about to not repay it.

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To say that what Mr. John had shared with me was shocking would be an understatement. Land and cattle disputes I had expected, helping Jamie and Beth campaign - sure, I figured (well maybe not Beth), but murder? Can’t say that was anywhere on my radar, or anywhere in my wheelhouse. If I’m being honest with God and myself, if it weren’t for my love for Mr. John and the Dutton family, I would’ve turned the job down. Any PR specialist with a brain would because what the Duttons needed was a criminal defense lawyer, not some cowgirl who’s good at turning nasty scandals into marketable flattery. But I do love the Duttons, and I love Yellowstone, so from the looks of it, if this ship goes down, I’m going with it.

Mr. John must think it wise to give me time to mull over the absolute bomb he’s just dropped on me, because after he breaks the news and confirms that I’m still willing to stick around, he goes silent, his face settling into a contemplative furrow, the same as mine. It isn’t until the foreman’s house comes into view that I break the silence, slightly bewildered.

“We making a pit stop or something?” I gesture to the house in the distance, halting my gait.

Mr. John breezes past me, only turning his head back to answer my seemingly stupid question. “No darling, I’m showing you to your lodging, like I said I would.” Darling is reserved for when I’m being a moron, honey as a term of endearment, and cowgirl for when I’m about to get what’s coming to me. I’ve not even been back an hour and I’ve managed to collect two of the three, and I’m not too keen on collecting the third.

I wait until he looks away before rolling my eyes. That would’ve earned me a ‘cowgirl’ for sure. “Well, who died and made me foreman because I sure as hell don’t have the beard or buckle to pull it off.” I hustle to catch back up with him, bumping his shoulder against my own, knowing I’m toeing the line between a chuckle and a swat. Thankfully I’m gifted with the chuckle.

“You know I keep waiting for your beard to come in, but I remain disappointed.” He shoots me a wink. “But no, I don’t want you as my foreman as much as you don’t want to be my foreman. No worries there.” He side-eyes me. “Kayce’s taken over from Rip, so this is his place now. I just thought you’d want to be out here with your partner in crime rather than cooped up in the lodge with an old fart like me.” I know he’s aiming for casual as he explains my living situation to me, but if my many years spent living at Yellowstone had taught me anything, it was how to read John Dutton. And right now, I can tell he’s up to no good - more so than usual.

“Right, because living in that big snazzy house would be so terrible. I think you’re just trying to keep me and Beth apart. Too scared to live under the same roof with us both. Can’t say I blame you.” And while I really wouldn’t blame him for not wanting to live with me and Beth - if she’s a terror alone, with me she’s a terror and a half - I have a sneaking suspicion Beth and I’s potential reign of terror isn’t the true cause of his decision. But I sure as hell can’t let him know I’m onto him.

He chuckles again, in an almost relieved sort of way. “You’ve got me there. I’d rather keep my sanity, thank you kindly. So no, I quite frankly don’t want to live with you and Beth at the same time. And truly, I just thought you’d be more comfortable out here.” He sighs. “You’ll be wrapped up in our mess during all your waking hours, I don’t want to take away the little bit of peace you’ll get during your sleeping ones too.”

I frown. “Mr. John, I-” I begin to protest.

“No, I don’t want to hear it. You’re in the foreman’s and that’s final.” Mr. John’s swinging the door open now, and the house is everything I thought it would be growing up.

High ceilings reveal exposed wood, and the humble home is lined with windows, letting in ample natural light. In a way I feel like I haven’t left the outdoors at all, the house is simply an extension of the forest that looms behind it. As kids, one of the few places Kayce and I weren’t allowed to wreak havoc was the foreman’s house. Mr. John always berated us whenever we’d beg to go inside, saying, “A hard-working man deserves some privacy, some peace and quiet. You better leave him and his home well enough alone or I’ll skin both of your hides.” For once we listened, neither of us too keen on getting our butts busted.

“Plus, I imagine Kayce will be mighty happy to learn he’s got his best friend back. It always was ya’ll’s dream to set up camp in here. Now you get to live it.” His statement breaks me out of my reverie.

“I’m sorry, you ‘imagine’ Kayce will be happy? He doesn’t know I’m here?” And so the other shoe drops. Mr. John always did hold out hope that Kayce and I would end up together. Said we’d be a power couple. Combine my business sense and charming small talk with Kayce’s grit and knowledge of the ranch and we’d be unstoppable. Let’s just say he was never too shy about his meddling. And while I did have a small crush on Kayce growing up, and I’d like to think he had one on me too, we were always both too awkward to entertain anything other than a close friendship. Naturally, we experimented the way kids do, having had a drunk kiss or two and having done our fair share of skinny dipping, but by the time we were in our late teens all romantic feelings had fizzled. That doesn’t mean we weren’t closer than we’d ever been though, thicker than thieves and troublemakers to boot. We practically lived in each others’ pockets. You wouldn’t find one of us without the other. I was crazy about Kayce and he adored me, but it was never anything other than platonic.

“Mr. John, I can’t live here if Kayce doesn’t know about it. You said so yourself, the foreman’s house is his getaway, a place for peace and quiet. I’m not taking that from him.” Hands planted firmly on my hips and lips pursed, I shake my head adamantly. “I’ll find myself a place in town or-”

“Caroline, no, you’re staying-”

“Or I’ll see if my cousin Amy has a spare room, we were always close and-”

“Caroline.” His voice is firm, if not a little irritated. “I said no. Kayce needs you here, you hear me? You’re staying here and that’s final.” This last part is spoken a bit softer, but firmly all the same.

Now Mr. John might not be my real daddy, but I’ve spent my whole life obeying him all the same, and this time is no different, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to plead my case. “Mr. John, I’ve missed Kayce too and I know he’s going through a lot right now, but he doesn’t need me.” I sigh. “And I couldn’t possibly put out his family. I mean, this place is small enough as it is. And Tate’s what, nearing eight now? He needs room to play and run around, I’ll only be taking up already limited space.” Giving a half-hearted shrug, I turn to head back toward the door, but Mr. John’s heavy sigh has me doubling back.

“Caroline honey, I wasn’t going to tell you this because I don’t feel like it’s my place, but when I say Kayce needs you I mean it. He and Monica split a few weeks ago, and with everything else going on he’s in real bad-”

Back turned to the door, I hear Kayce before I see him. “Dad, for the last time I’m not interested in meeting who you’ve got running for AG, so if you could kindly show her out I’d greatly-”

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I know I said Kayce and I had never been anything other than platonic, but you’d have to be blind not to see what a looker the boy is. God damn is he beautiful. I mean he always has been, but the years have been more than kind to him. Seeing him now damn near takes my breath away. The last time I laid eyes on Kayce he had just returned from the navy, eyes weary and hair cropped close. He had looked exhausted, almost dead in the eyes. Now though, he looks like a field set ablaze by the setting sun, all bright and aglow with something unnameable. Almost dangerous in his beauty. He must get over seeing me for the first time in five years before I get over seeing him because before it feels like I can even blink he’s across the room and I’m a foot off the ground, wrapped tight in his arms. I never knew I was missing part of myself until this very moment, with Kayce’s face pressed into the crook of my neck and my hand fisted in his hair. I swear I feel more settled in myself than I have in years, like I’m sinking into my bed after a long day, or eating a warm meal after I’ve spent all day working out in the cold.

“Caroline.” It’s a soft whisper in my ear. It almost sounds reverent, like a prayer.

“Kayce,” I murmur back, something private only he can hear.

I suppose he remembers we aren’t alone because before I know it my feet are planted firmly on the ground once more and I’m no longer wrapped in his embrace. Instead, he lets one gentle hand linger on the small of my back, almost hesitant and unnatural in its hovering. Grinning, he turns to Mr. John. “Dad what is-” his gaze shifts to find mine. “Caroline, what are you doing here?”

My lips part preparing to answer, but no sound comes out, just a whisper of an inhale followed by a beaming smile. I think it’s important to say once again that my feelings for Kayce are strictly platonic, but my God if a woman can’t get lost in his whiskey-brown eyes.

I’m broken out of my trance by an awkward cough. Both Kayce and I turn to face Mr. John, who looks a bit too pleased for my liking. Smiling wryly he drawls, “Well I think I’ll leave you two to catch up. Caroline, I’ll have one of the boys bring your truck up. No sense in you hauling yourself all around sundry.” Making his way outside, he pauses on the porch. “I expect to see both of ya’ll at supper. Don’t be late.” He saunters down the porch and down the path, not looking back when he hollers, “And Kayce, wash up! You smell like shit.”

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“So, you’re here to clean up the fucking mess I made then.” Kayce looks the most dejected I’ve seen him in years. Like a puppy dog that’s been kicked and put out in the cold. “Dad dragged you back to this godforsaken place because of me.” His fists shake where they’re clenched atop his knees. He tosses his hat onto the coffee table and rakes his hands through his sweat-dampened hair. “You know, I was so relieved when you got out of here. I was so scared this place would ruin everything good about you, set you up in flames like it does everything else.” His calloused hand clasps mine. “Why would you come back here? After everything that happened, after-” He takes a moment to collect himself, teeth gritted together, shoulders tensed. “After what Caleb- after what he did-”

“Kayce don’t.” I know what he’s trying to get at, and I won’t have it talked about. Not on my first day back. When I said I loved Yellowstone, that I was happy to be back, I meant it. But there are memories that this place carries that I’d rather forget, and I’m not about to let my reunion with my best friend turn sinister over one of those memories - over the mention of some asshole cowboy that belongs to the past. I want that memory to die with him. Placing a comforting hand on his back, I try to console him. “I’m a big girl. Believe it or not, I’ve grown into my britches and I know what I can handle. Plus,” I give his back a hard pat, “you really think I would let this place ruin me? I’d like to see it try.”

“Caroline..” He shakes his head, eyes glassy. “You-”

I cut him off with a quick rap of my knuckles against the coffee table, rising off the couch with an air of finality. “As for why I came back, well that’s simple. I love you Kace.” I lick my chapped lips, find a spot on the wall to focus on. “And I’m- I’m never going to abandon you when you need me.” I extend my pinky in the form of a promise, a relic left over from our childhood. “Come hell or high water remember?”

He straightens up, gaze ungluing itself from the floor only to meet mine. Kayce was always taller than me, but I don’t remember having to crane my neck up to meet his eyes the way I do now. His pinky wrapping around mine is a distant sensation in the back of my mind. “Come hell or high water.” He steps back, scratching his temple awkwardly. From a man to a boy with one simple gesture. “Uh, there’s only one bathroom so we’ll have to take turns. I don’t know if you need to shower, but you can go first, everything you need is in there, but I mean- you probably brought your own stuff so never mind.” He mutters below his breath, “God Kace,” and picks invisible lint off his shirt.

I laugh, bright and airy. Growing up Kayce was known for his ruthless pranks, and when I wasn’t his accomplice I was his primary victim. So to miss such a golden and rare opportunity to make fun of him would be a crime, his emotional turmoil aside. “No need to take turns bud, I don’t need to shower. Just got to freshen up a bit, throw on some makeup, brush my hair.” I start a slow saunter down the hall, sporting a feline grin. Kayce follows close behind- my shadow. Turning to walk backward, I poke him sharp in the chest. “How about you, Manure Man, hop in the shower while I do my makeup. We can keep each other company, catch up on each other's lives.” My back hits what I assume to be the bathroom door. I sigh. “After all, we don’t want to keep your daddy waiting. I for one don’t want a smack upside the head and I reckon you don’t either.” Angling my body so it faces the door, I reach for the nob and look at Kayce imploringly, my eyebrows raised, daring him to chicken out.

He suppresses a grin, tongue poking at his cheek. “Now you know that’s not exactly proper and I know that you’re trying to embarrass me, so you can go ahead and drop the act Miss Caroline.” Calling me on my shit, he leans into the door frame, his arms boxing me in on both sides.

Of course he knows I’m trying to embarrass him, anybody with eyes could see that. What he hasn’t caught onto is that I’m appealing to his competitive nature. If I keep poking at him long enough, there’s no way he won’t cave. If I know Kayce, he’ll take being excruciatingly embarrassed over losing against me any day. “Not proper? Sweetheart, I’ve seen you in your birthday suit more times than I care to think about, I don’t think standing in the same room as you while you shower will be the thing that sends me to hell.” I duck under his arm, grab my makeup bag from where I’d left it in the living room, and duck back under, swinging the bathroom door open as I go. Throwing my hair into a ponytail, I lock eyes with him in the mirror. His skin is flushed pink all the way down to his chest and he gnaws at his lip. Like I said, from a man to a boy with one small gesture. “Unless you’re too much of a chicken.” I shrug. “Then I guess we can take turns.” I aim for nonchalant, fingers crossed that he’s not catching on to my instigating.

Kayce’s eyes immediately narrow. Good, he’s taken the bait. “I know you’re not calling me a chicken.” His arms drop and he closes the door behind him.

Snickering, I breathe, “I’d only call you a chicken if you were acting like one, so tell me Kayce - are you being a chicken?”

He turns the shower on in lieu of an answer, eyes never leaving mine in the mirror. “I wouldn’t even know what a chicken acts like Caroline, having never been one, so no I don’t reckon I am.” At this, he flings his shirt off, and I hear his belt buckle clink shortly after, and then a thud as his pants hit the floor. The only thing that remains are his underwear and I hold his gaze steady, daring him to lose our little game. I can’t hear his underwear hit the floor, but I see the hunch his shoulders form as he bends to take them off. When he stands back up straight, he must see the devious gleam in my eye because he drawls out a suspicious, “What?”

“Nothing.” I shake my head, pressing my lips together. I fiddle with the hem of my blouse. It’s a frilly white thing with thin straps and a gathered waist. One of my favorites truly. Too pretty to risk getting makeup on. I pull the shirt gingerly over my head, not worried about appearing sexy, knowing my plain bra isn’t much to look at. I begin to sort out my makeup, lining products up along the counter. “I was just thinking about how I don’t want to get makeup on my blouse. That’s all.”

The rustle of the shower curtain opening and closing is Kayce’s only reply. Check and mate Dutton.

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Despite my reasoning for us sharing, Kayce and I don’t catch up with each other in the bathroom, in fact, he doesn’t speak a word to me until I’ve completed my makeup and he’s finished his shower.

Brushing my hair slowly and methodically, lost in my own thoughts, I almost miss the sound of the shower turning off and the rasp of the curtain as Kayce steps out. He’s wrapped in a comically large towel, but his hair still drips steadily onto the bathmat, saturated with water. The embarrassment has leached from his face and his downtrodden expression from earlier has returned. “So dad told you about me and Monica?” He perches on the closed toilet, sagging into himself, sniffs. “Old bastard.”

“What makes you think that?” Laying my hairbrush down, I turn to prop my hip against the counter and cross my arms, face as neutral as I can make it.

Kayce looks at me from under long, damp lashes, his jaw set. “Caroline, we’ve pushed a boundary or two in our decades of friendship, but I know that if you thought for one second that you’d be stepping on any toes or be disrespecting my marriage in any way, you wouldn’t have started whatever all of this,” he gestures around the bathroom, “little game was. So what did he tell you?” His hands are shaking again, but rather than clenched shut, this time they lay open, palms up, almost pleading.

“Kayce.” I kneel down, encasing one of his weathered hands with both of mine. “All he told me was that you and Monica had split not too long ago, nothing more. And he didn’t even really want to tell me that, I kind of forced his hand. I promise you.” I stand back up and ruffle his still-damp hair, trying to bring some levity back to the situation. “Although I really don’t understand all the secrecy bud, you had to hear all about my messy divorce- and over facetime of all ways. I’m not- I would never judge you Kace.”

Rising to his full height, Kayce fidgets with one of my belt loops. “I know you’d never judge me, Caroline, it’s not your judgment I’m worried about.”

“Then what are you worried about,” I murmur.

“Oh Kayce, you really think-,” I laugh, “I just gave you shit in the most ridiculous way, knowing well and good you’ve been put through the wringer, and you think I would treat you like some wounded thing.” I bend down to retrieve my shirt, toss it onto the counter behind me. “I realize I have a bad habit of babying you, and I don’t plan to stop any time soon, but if you think for one second that I won’t give you hell any and every time you need it, well then you’re mistaken sweetheart.” Propping his hands on his hips, Kayce looks down, kicks his bare foot against my booted one.

“Now, nobody said anything about me wanting you to stop babying me.” He grins shyly at me. “Every good cowboy needs a pretty lady to soften him up a bit, ya know.”

I feel my breath hitch as his fingers wrap loosely around mine, I’m suddenly hyper-aware of the damp towel that seems to slide lower down his hips by the second. Have I mentioned how beautiful this man is? Have time and space away from him turned my brain into scrambled eggs? Why in the hell do I feel a flush creeping down my neck? Dear God, and I have to live with this man.

I smack his chest, like any sane woman who suddenly finds herself attracted to her best friend would do, and try to hide my nerves behind a too-loud laugh. “Well as long as you don’t expect this pretty lady to harden you up too, I think I can manage that.” Slipping my hand out of his hold, I grab my blouse and make to leave, but not before I catch sight of the scarlet blush that paints his face and ears. One foot in the hallway, I call back, “Now hurry up and get dressed cowboy, wouldn’t want to keep daddy waiting.” Closing the door all I hear is a muttered, “Jesus,” in response.

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I wait out on the porch while Kayce gets ready, slouched down on one of the steps, elbows resting on my knees. The absolute quiet that surrounds me, save for the chirp of a bird or the rustle of leaves as the breeze blows, feels like a balm on my soul. I’d forgotten what it was like to feel this way. Content, at peace, like the whole world could be falling down around me but I’d still be alright, because this place, this land, will cradle me, protect me, like a momma does for her baby. I spent so long, years of my young life, running from one thing or another. Running into the arms of the wrong people, the wrong places. Yellowstone wasn’t the only place I found trouble, and while I was able to make a name for myself, to come out on top, the years I spent fighting for myself, fighting myself, have taken a toll on me. Never really thought the ranch would be my respite, but fighting for the Duttons feels like a goddamn breath of fresh air compared to what I’ve had to claw my way through in the last decade. This is my home, trouble or not.

The door creaks open, then shut, and I crane my head back to greet Kayce. “Took ya long enough, beauty queen.”

Unphased Kayce shoves his hands into his pockets. “Your face looks goofy upside down. And I can see into your nose.” He swaggers past me, down the steps, and onto the path. “Might want to invest in a nose trimmer.. beauty queen.” Fantastic. We’re back in familiar territory. No more warm damp skin, or slouchy towels, and thank god no more tugging at my belt loops or crowding me against the counter.. abs on display, broad shoulders at eye level… Yeah no, childish insults are great! Much more comfortable, way less confusing. I’m more than happy to engage in some lighthearted bullying with my completely platonic, non-romantic, best friend.

I must take too long to respond because Kayce doubles back, coming to stand at the base of the stairs below my feet. Looking at me funny, eyebrows scrunched and lips upturned, he asks, “You good? Wasn’t even that good of a burn to be honest. You’ve taken worse.” Actual concern begins to creep into his features, so before he can get himself worked up into a spiral of guilt I hop up from the stairs, dust off my backside, and punch him square in the gut.

“Oh don’t you worry ‘bout me, I’m fine. I was actually just thinking that I probably should buy a trimmer, keep things ship shape. And you know,” I glance back at him deviously, “now that we’re living together, there’s bound to be quite a few spa nights in your future. I could use it on you as well, really get my money’s worth.” As he falls in step with me, I expect him to protest immediately. When we were kids, I asked to pretty him up practically every day, told him I did boy activities with him so it was only fair he did girly things with me. In all our years of friendship he only caved once, the night I got my first period, told me I shouldn’t have to become a woman alone. He let me put a full face of makeup on him, paint his nails, and even braid his hair. No complaints, no making fun, just supported me in the only way he knew how.

So he surprises me when he inquires, “What exactly would a spa night include? Like what are we talking here? Fancy robes, overpriced lotion, cucumbers on our eyes?” His face is entirely serious, sincere in its curiosity. Man, it's easy to forget how much growing up changes a person.. how much marriage changes a person.

I stutter. “I- I mean, it can really include whatever you want it to? I normally take a bubble bath, shave my whole body- not that you’d want to do that, and then I go ham with some lotion, put on a face mask and hair mask, maybe whiten my teeth or trim my nails. Just depends.” I shrug. Kayce and I have talked about everything under the sun, but I never thought in a million years we’d be discussing my self-care routine.

He looks at me, eyebrows furrowed, contemplating. He kicks at the dirt a bit, tips his head to either side and then with an unexpected air of finality says, “Okay. I think I’d like to try all of that. I’ve never done masks or whitened my teeth before.” He stops, looking suddenly reluctant. “Wait, none of this hurts right? Like it’s relaxing?”

I place my hand on his back, half to prompt him to keep walking, half to comfort him. An easy laugh escapes me. “No, none of it hurts. And it is very relaxing, especially when you have a good bottle of wine on hand.” I wink, trying still to reassure him.

Worries assuaged, he winks back. “Well if there’s good wine involved, I’m in. Do you have the stuff with you already? Could we do it tonight?”

This time I stop in my tracks. If I was shocked before, now I’m flabbergasted. “You really want to do all that tonight?” He starts to look self-conscious so I clarify myself. “I mean, I’m more than happy to host a spa night, don’t get me wrong, but I just figured you’d need to warm up to the idea.”

Kayce walks a half step in front of me, avoids making eye contact. “In all honesty, tomorrow’s going to be a rough day. I don’t know if dad told you, but we’ve got to negotiate with the rez, the governor, and the sheriff tomorrow. Try to find some way to sweep everything under the rug, not let my fuck-ups tarnish the ranch’s reputation.” He removes his hat, runs his hand haphazardly through his hair. I know he asked me not to treat him like some wounded thing, and I won’t, but boy does he look it. “So, yeah, I just need something to take my mind off of the impending shitstorm I’m about to deal with. And I know you’re dying to gussy me up.” He flashes me a smile. “And if you’re happy, I’m happy, so a spa night it is.”

I sigh, feeling out of my depth. In all our years of friendship, I so rarely had to be the strong one. That was always Kayce. And while I’ve certainly toughened up in the time we’ve spent apart, I still feel so unprepared to tackle all of this. I’m scared I’ll say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, misstep in an unfixable way. More than anything, I’m scared I’ll let Kayce down. “Your uh- Mr. John did tell me all that actually, but I hadn’t thought about how emotionally draining it’ll be. A spa night sounds good Kace. And we can even put on a horror movie, even it out.” I shrug, still feeling out of my depth.

Kayce doesn’t reply, but he does show me the barest hint of a smile, just the slight upturn of the corners of his lips. His smile says, “we’ll make it through this, we have to.”

#yellowstone #kayce dutton #rip wheeler #john dutton #beth dutton #monica dutton #yellowstone oneshot #kayce dutton oneshot #kayce dutton x reader #kayce dutton x you #kayce dutton x original character #kayce dutton fic #kayce dutton fanfiction #kayce dutton smut #eventual smut #friends to lovers

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virusinfected-memes · 2 years

Text

TUMBLR TEXT POST SENTENCE STARTERS, PT. 1 ;

75 starters. CW: blood mention, cussing, death. Starters come from various text posts floating around Tumblr. The only thing changed for this post was adding capitalization and punctuation. Feel free to change words and pronouns as needed!

“All I do is drink water and be stupid.”

“All I do is rotate three outfits and talk shit and have panic attacks.”

“All I want these days is to hike through a mossy forest filled with heavy fog and get lost for a while.”

“Am I supposed to feel sorry for the those two guys who died in the Blair Witch house? Who broke into HER home, trespassed on HER land, and messed with HER stick bundles? I don’t!”

“Baby girl, you are strange and off-putting.”

“Can necromancers heal depression?”

“Did I need it? No. Did I buy it? Yes.”

“Don’t forget that what you see isn’t all there is.”

“Do you ever wanna bond with someone so bad you’re like, “Damn, I wish we were knights on a dangerous quest...”?”

“Do you think the world could suddenly end on a night as quiet as this?”

“Fuck yeah, I’m an influencer! My content is clownery, I promote stupidity, and I’m sponsored by the circus.”

“Have people in horror movies never seen a horror movie?”

“Holy shit... I’M the demon living in my house?”

“Hot tip: bury yourself in the forest to recharge, never come back, and become a local cryptid.”

“Humans are really good at remembering each other’s bad decisions.”

“I am one percent human and ninety-nine percent tired.”

“I don’t really feel like existing today.”

“I do this really cute thing where I shut down and hate everybody.”

“I feel like I’m in the Sims where it takes five hours to make pasta and then you have to immediately go to bed.”

“If I can’t hand my lover a cup of coffee and kiss their forehead while they’re working, then what even is the point?”

“If my son is stealing pies off window sills, it’s because I taught him to do that, bitch.”

“If you aren’t someone the church wanted dead three hundred years ago, are you really living?”

“If your computer has malware... that’s me in there. If you take care of me like a little Tamagotchi pet, I will leave and give you a secret present in your files.”

“I hate those really vivid dreams that you’re still emotionally attached to after you wake up. You’re stuck, feeling for something that technically doesn’t exist.”

“I’m giving up personhood to become a full-time abstract concept.”

“I’m like a shitty anime dating sim. If I talk to six people, I have to immediately go to bed. If I go grocery shopping, that’s half my HP.”

“I’m off to kill the most powerful man in the world.”

“In the 90s, computers would scream every time you went online. That was foreshadowing.”

“I procrastinate so much now that if I ever became a vampire I will literally put things off for centuries.”

“I think I want my next piercing to be through my heart with a wooden stake.”

“I think my dark under eye circles are adding to the aesthetic, actually.”

“I think the far healthier app to have in middle school was the DSi camera, not Tik Tok.”

“It’s okay to be obsessed and in love with me.”

“I was born in the wrong generation. Take me back to the paleoarchean era. I want to be insentient. I want to be bacteria.”

“Little known fact: once you’re older and you’re no longer in school, time stops being real. Did that thing happen one year ago? Two? Five? A few months ago? Who knows.”

“Maybe if we all just collectively start decorating now, we can... force it to be Halloween.”

“Me? Tired? Sleepy? Yes, constantly.”

“My blood is glow stick juice. That’s why all my bones crack when I move.”

“My body is less of a temple and more of a rotting 19th century mansion rumored to be haunted by several wicked and vengeful spirits.”

“My body is my temple. Ancient and crumbling. Probably cursed.”

“My hobbies include laying in bed in my underwear while I listen to music and hate myself.”

“My kink is closing doors so that I’m in complete solitude.”

“My superpower is going into a book store and immediately forgetting the name of every book I’ve ever wanted to read.”

“Not all your life decisions have to be smart. Some can be purely for cinematic value.”

“Nothing should go back to normal. Normal wasn’t working.”

“Not really a fan of this ‘being a person’ thing.”

“People keep saying “go big or go home” as if going home doesn’t sound like the best idea ever. Hell yeah, I wanna go home, and I’m gonna take a nap when I get there.”

“People who suggest getting breakfast together as a hangout plan are the kind of people you want to hang onto.”

“Pray for me. Nothing’s wrong, I just want more power.”

“Protect me from what I want.”

“Pro tip: instead of having feelings, try being dead inside. Everything is still horrible, but you will not care at all.”

“Remember, you can disappear into the woods whenever you want. You’re an adult.”

“Reminder: you can start over at any time. Your day is not ruined. Your world is not over. Take a deep breath. Start over.”

“Rest in peace to everyone killed by the gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the gods.”

“Sexting? Nah, I’m into spexting. Spooky texting. Ever seen a ghost? Hit me up.”

“Something all children covet is the generic black t-shirt with white skull worn by cartoon teenagers.”

“Sometimes a girly just needs to mask her declining mental state by calling herself a girlboss and that’s okay.”

“Sorry, bro, I can’t hang out today. I used up all my mana.”

“Sorry I tried to drink your blood. I think you’re cute.”

“The internet is awesome, but you can’t download love.”

“The only reason I still have depression is because I can’t take my brain out and blow on it like a DS cartridge.”

“The older you get, the more you appreciate just chilling at home doing nothing.”

“The world is just generally better when you’ve recently eaten a sandwich.”

“The worst part about kissing a perfect ten is the cold feeling your lips get from touching the mirror.”

“Very sexy of me to be isolating myself and rotting into the floor.”

“Well, the horrors may be beyond YOUR comprehension, but I understand them perfectly.”

“What does your soul look like?”

“What ever happened to personality? I want decorative towels that aren’t boring! I want NOVELTY! I want people to come over to my house and look at my trinkets, and immediately think “this lady is a wacko” and also “her stuff is haunted!””

“When fat Pikachu finally returns, I know he will single-handedly save our economy.”

“Yeah, I could have cracked the Zodiac cipher before those guys did. I just didn’t want to.”

“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.”

“You can’t keep dancing with the devil and wonder why you’re still in Hell.”

“You know what I would be if I was in a video game? That dead body you find at the beginning with like ten gold.”

“You think too much. You’ll make yourself ill if you keep that up.”

#ask meme #inbox meme #roleplay meme #rp meme #rp sentence starters #sentence starters #tumblr #* mine

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comradekiwi · 2 years

Text

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 362 AND AN ATTEMPT AT META //

upon reading the chapter, do I still think bkg is not going to stay dead?

honestly, if horikoshi were ever to kill off a big character, this is exactly how I’d imagine he’d do it. elaborate, detailed, well-built-up, unavoidable, in-character, big beautiful full- and double-page panels, childhood flashbacks, lethal COD

but! with that said. this is bakugou. he’s the deuteragonist, the main character’s narrative foil (and childhood friend and image of victory and closest person and hero inspiration other than AM) and maybe I’m still deep in clownery but the minor events of this chapter felt very intentional. what was this panel of Second that scared shigafo? was it memory bc bkg looks like him? or build up for more, maybe the unlocking of his quirk?

a lot of people agree that however bkg ends up, his state rn will trigger izuku to unlock second’s quirk. is AFO realizing that bakugou will have ties to second’s quirk? is this a hint to what that quirk is?

back to is he will he stay dead. horikoshi made it very obvious his heart burst, an explosion out of his chest made obvious in the last double page spread where the blood is obvious. this is a very heavily emphasized lethal cause of death. horikoshi wants us to know he could not survive this…

….normally, on his own. this could be hori very clearly saying to give him up, he can’t get back from this, but I can’t help but think this emphasis is to set up for his revival. to make it obvious however it’s done is insanely powerful. unnatural, even.

yes I think second’s quirk will play a role in izuku bringing him back. I would have dismissed this for copium if not for the fact that second was referenced in this chapter, as shigafo yelled for bkg to die (literally: break).

hori loves foreshadowing. and leaving things unexplained in order to make a big scene. last we saw izuku, we learned seconds quirk has mutated. it’s unique. probably super powerful…. like if you consider the laws of nature hm

bkg’s death was so detailed, so gruesome, that it’s clear the point was to emphasize that he is very, very not alive. the thing is, hori loves to subvert expectations, so this could be to thoroughly kill him off in a way he deserves, or to make what happens next all the more exciting.

but maybe he’s dead! idk. it’s definitely not a coincidence Second was referenced before bkg died but it might have just been foreshadowing for izuku’s quirk awakening alone, no reviving involved. I just can’t wait to see what izuku will do in two weeks 😳

will forever highly recommend @pikahlua’s meta!!!! they got me all fired up lol (and reassured) and they also have translations of the latest chapter :)

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bkdk #boku no hero academia manga #bnha manga spoilers #bakugou katsuki #boku no hero academia manga spoilers #ch362 #bnha ch 362 #mha ch 362 #mha chapter 362 #kiwi talks #bnha meta #mha meta

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dragynkeep · 8 months

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I genuinely could have excused the whole lying to Ironwood cheap subplot if the show had done two things;

1 - Replaced those scenes in which RWB sip tea at the manor feeling sorry for themselves with the scenes where the two of them (not all three because I admit that someone physically capable has to protect Nora and the others who for whatever reason didn't evacuate to the underground IIRC) with scenes in which they either join the Atlesian army and actually fight Salem and the grimm or went to Mantle to kill the grimm there, or they split forces to help both. This at least would've shown that the heroes' actions match their words. "This is my home. And I'm not giving it up without a fight", my ass.

2 - In the Ever After they continued to elaborate on the heroes' despair and have them think that it's their actions that led to so many deaths and destruction. And the narrative wouldn't brush off Ruby's doubts and regrets as a flaw like "If you as much as presume that we didn't do everything less than perfect then there must be something wrong with you, don't listen to that demon on your shoulder whispering that evil shit to you"

It may not have been enouch to "save" the show from the clownery it proudly presents as a mOrAlY gRaY cONfLicT, but at least there would've been a good theme about how sometimes even with one's utmost benevolent intentions, they can still end up making horrible mistakes, good intentions don't necessarily make you a good person. And the characters wouldn't have been such blatant hypocrites lmao. I mean that manor scene proves that these characters have no idea who they are and what they've gotten into.

It's so annoying because these are simple ways to not make me wanna pull my own teeth out whenever the show tries to do anything interesting with the plot. The whole lying to Ironwood plotline could've been good, and in V7 it WAS good because it was setting everything up for Ruby to realise that, like Ozpin, it's hard to know when to trust when you've been betrayed and hurt before.

But the show doesn't want Ruby to be wrong. Every time it's brought up that she, and Team RWBY as a whole, fucked up, they just hide behind sad eyes and that they tried so that's all that matters. When no, just because you had good intentions doesn't mean you're washed of the consequences of those actions you made.

And while Ruby was slightly saved in V9 with how she was actually reacting to everything she did, WBY are just horrible people and horrible characters.

Who cares about the people that died in our plan, or the lives displaced or the impoverished kingdom forced to clean up our mistakes? We did our best so that's that, and anyone who still calls us out is like the comically evil Ironwood who wanted to bomb the poor.

No wonder the FNDM has a poor comprehension of grey morality and actual good writing if this is the show they stan so hard.

#rwby #rwde #ruby rose #james ironwood #answered #luke.txt

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katasstrophy · 1 year

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*shakes you* i just thought of something and you and @itoshi-s are going to suffer with me🤕(read devils night guys it’s so hot)

bad boy! rin being sent to clean up his act at a private university for the esteemed to make sure the itoshi family name is no longer being tarnished but his parents naive thoughts of sending their youngest son to a boarding school and hope he magically turns into an angel that’s fit for his arranged marriage with a nuisance who’s after his money is ridiculous. rin isn’t bound to a single rule and does what he pleases as he walks the halls of the posh boarding school, giving the founding headmaster’s valued portrait the finger.

here comes you, who thrives off of academic validation who’s not afraid to keep her sharp tongue to herself. the youngest son of itoshi is here? scoff. he’s nothing but a jerk decorated in unbuttoned blazers and popped up collars with his fathers name to hide behind his acts of clownery. you don’t miss a chance to say it to the taller male’s face, his eyes practically boring holes into your own as if to memorize your look of annoyance at him. rin likes challenges but he thinks he’s going to love this one. he’ll make sure by the end of the school year he’ll have you on your knees, bowing in forgiveness, he says that you with a glare to make babies cry. with his thoughts rushing on how to make you beg for mercy you unleash a harsh slap to his face. stunning everyone in the common room and ignoring the gasps of surprise. “you better clean up your act itoshi or else you’ll lose everything including your family name.” you dare slap an itoshi? you’ve got bigger balls than everyone at this school. rin thinks the adrenaline you gave him in a second is the best feeling he’s ever had in years.

from that day on rin decided to play the good boy. smiles and effortless straight A’s to please his professors and make things work out in his favor, but his enjoyment isn’t getting the staff to kiss his feet, it’s backing you into corners of the library so that no one would catch on to mr. changed attitude wanting to keep his quiet, nerd to himself. you let him. slowly, but surely you break down each others walls as he allows himself to be vulnerable with you and shares his burdens of being the youngest son, always being forced into being his older brother’s shadow. but for once. just once, he had something his brother doesn’t have. he has you. he makes you feel warm and he fiercely keeps you safe from the judging eyes of his father as he peers down at you. as if he was looking at a lowly commoner. “you throw away your fiancée for someone like this?” “i’d throw away the family name in honor for her.” he walks away with his head held high, ignoring the stoic stare of his older brother as he smirks at the eldest, smirk growing wider at his words. “you’ll never inherit the itoshi name.” “i won’t inherit it alone. my family will.”

he beat his brother in not being able to continue the family name. he makes sure he pounds the thought into you as he thrusts feverishly into you as the moon shines a white sheet of light on your bodies. he makes love to you greedily as he marks your skin in red and purple, the marks blooming onto your skin like flowers. he loves you, he loves that no one in the world can know him and love him like you do.

“i’m going to put a fucking ring on that finger in front of my brother,” he growls. “no matter how far or high they separate me from you, you are mine and we’re going to live in a big house with you warming our bed.” he puts his forehead against yours, “and you will give me an itoshi heir.”

kayla what the— wHAT THE FRICKITY FRACK FHUUUCCKKK. !&!@! WHAT THE SHEEEEEII WHAT THE HOLYY FUCJCING SHIITT ??@!!!?? you DARE drop this ATOMIC ASS FUCKING BOMB ON ME???? OUTTA NOWHERE?? ON MF RIN DAY?????? NAAUURRR bc miss ma’am i’m gonna have to ask you to start paying rent cuz like,,,, 🤨🔫🔫 DO YOU LIVE IN MY BRAIN??? how did you know that devil’s night has been on my tbr for 5everrrrrr but i just know if i get hooked on the smut i will abandon all my responsibilities idcidcidc

they way i had to LITERALLY. TAKE. BREAKS. reading this so i could reduce my unholy demon spawn screeching to a minimum (spoiler: it DID NOT WORK) thIS IS FOUL THIS IS ILLEGAL I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU SOBBING

and oooohhhhhh i’m such a slut for academic settings :(((( especially when rich entitled bastard boy with a shitty past meets driven and cunning number 1 girl and they CLASH and have BRUTAL BANTER and have THE FILTHIEST MAKE OUT SESSIONS AGAINST PRICELESS BOOKSHELVES im clawing my eyes out

rin showing up to the posh uni like it’s his own personal playground, pretending like he owns this place much like everything else in his life due to his family’s wealth and status only to get mfing owned in turn and SLAPPED IN THE FACE (LITERALLY!!!) BUT HE FEELS EUPHORIC INSTEAD OF AGGRAVATED OOOOHHHH SO HE JUST HAS TO HAVE YOU GOD BESTIE U KNOW HOW TO GET ME GOING </3333 and then he pretends to be a good little student so he can get close to you:( keep you all to himself sniffle so possessive:( but the ANGST BC OF SAE >:(((( but now he also has you to patch up the empty cold pieces inside of him ur his future fuck his family 🥺🥺🥺🫶🫶🫶🫶 he’ll create a new one with you anyway AAAAAAAHHHDJFNFN so fucking UnWeLL

#this got SO INSANELY LONG but this has me in a vice grip so many thoughts kayla ur like my grandma during xmas keeping me fed for days fr #THE WAY ID LET HIM DO ANYTHING TO ME PLS HOW MANY LIL ITOSHIS YOU WANT BABE HOW MUCH WOULD PISS OF UR SHITTY BROTHER??#five???? u got it hubby gimme that insanely expensive ring and fuck them right into me sir my legs are spread🥺#he would be so consumed and obsessed with you I KNOW IT HIS LIL CUNNING BADDIE SWEETHEART #kayla what have you done to me im depraved #itoshi rin x reader #itoshi rin smut #blue lock x reader #blue lock smut #—my dearest<3 (kayla)#—riv.favs!#rin loml <3

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smallfrenchstudyblr · 2 years

Text

Your local Law PhD is going through the draft SCOTUS ruling overturning Roe / Casey and here are a few thoughts, if you want a quick overview of the thing as I get angrier with each new point, culminating in me loosing my absolute shit :

The main argument is basically "yeah, we are bound by Casey, but Casey relies on Roe, and Roe was wrong, so we can overturn all that"

This is not a drill, this is the actual, proper, end of Roe and federal protection of abortion, if this passes.

"this was not protected in the XIIIth century England, and there fore should not be protected now" is an actual legal argument that I had to read with my own two eyes

Quick reminder : overturning Roe/Casey does not ban abortion, but it says that there is no constitutional right to abortion at federal level, and therefore this is for each individual US state to decide

The draft basically says that this is State business, specifically, the legislative power of each states should decide.

but what worries me is that if a State wanted to actually criminalize abortion, the same reasoning could hold. Meaning that SCOTUS would not give any costitutional protection to the one being prosecuted, because historically the tradition is to criminalize rather than protect their right. Basically while this does not make abortion a crime, it lets the States decide up to an including criminalizing it

This would still be under the control of each State's own Supreme Court though.

I am pretty sure SCOTUS writing 100-pages long rulings is a self-defense mechanism where if you ever want to litigate to overturn a ruling, it is a dantesque effort

(more under the cut bc this got long oops)

The sheer clownery of assessing a scholarly article as not acceptable argument because it "advances ideological goal", as your entire reasoning is based on the originalist doctrine ????

SO MUCH OF THIS REASONING IS BASICALLY HISTORICAL DISCUSSION OF WHETHER, HOW MUCH AND HOW WOMEN HAD ABORTION IN THE XVIII CENTURY WHYYYYYY

"Looking into the legislative motives of legislator who are still alive and can give explanation to why they pass laws supporting abortion rights is too dodgy, let's stick to old XVIIIth century manuscript written by men telling us how women handled their preganancies"

I started sweating buckets when the draft also got into other precedents on the decriminalization of homosexuality, interracial marriage, other reproductive rights... but so far the draft says that "yeah, but abortion involved a potential life of another person, so it's different". Even though the draft goes "yeah, they also have no basis in history though". YERK.

The audacity of saying "oh and we treat pregnant women real well now !!" and supporting this by giving statistics on UNPAID FAMILY LEAVE ???

"Also the foster care system is doing great" BITCH SAY THAT AGAIN TO MY FACE

The audacity of invoking Brown v Board of Education, which ended the separate-but-equal doctrine, to support overturning Roe/Casey sent me to Hell to prep a cozy room for a few people there

( Alito discussing why Stare Decisis has the same energy as that GIF of BArbossa going "“The code is more what you'd call 'guidelines' than actual rules.”" )

One argument is that the test of "undue burden" is too vague to be workable, but it follows the part where the draft whines about SCOTUS being way too specific on Roe and overtstepping its role by doing so ??!? Please make up your mind ??

Also, Alito, you are a jurist. A lawyer. You KNOW that legal standards are vague. That's what they are for. They are legal standards. They are MEANT to be vague while still giving sufficient visibility in the future. You are not convincing any single lawyer, here.

Even "necessary" abortion are not protected, because, really what does "necessary" even mean ? Who can say ? Would it include protecting a someone whose pregnancy places her life in danger ? Would it include a sexually assulted teenager who does not want the pregnancy resulting from this ? Who is to say ? Certain not Alito, according to him.

"Casey is bad because it gave people ideas and made it potentially easier for them to get their right constitutionnaly protected " is not the hot take I expected in the year of our lord 2022 yet here we are.

Who can say if abortion really helped women be trly equal citizen and facilitated their involvement in society as equal to men ? Who can ? that's a really tough empirical question, according to Alito. But that fine !! And like, they have the right to vote !!! So it's fine. If they are really mad about that, they can just vote at State level.

Quick question : have you talked to a woman who is NOT an upper class straight cis white woman, recently ?

"How dare you say that the ruling of the sCOTUS could be influenced by the public's reaction ?? I am a JUDGE. Appointed by a President elected based on political preferences, confirmed by a legislative body whose members are elected based on their political preferences, but the Court is TOTALLY ABOVE THAT" Bro I am from a Civil law country and even I will not defend my Supreme Court like that.

"We must now decide which standard will govern abortion" hold up I am going to need alcohol for that

Wait what

There is no standard

You mentioned a new standard where is the new standard

THERE IS NO STANDARD

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WE NEED TO DECIDE ON THE STANDARD ??? YOU SPENT 30 PAGES PONTIFICATING ON THE SOCIAL ACCEPTANCE ABORTION IN XIVTH CENTURY ENGLAND AND YOU ARE GOING TO GIVE THE ACTUAL ANSWER TO THE QUESTION AT HAND IN 3 PARAGRAPHS ?????

DON'T SAY TOY ARE GOING TO SET A STANDARD IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SET A STANDARD

"RATIONAL-BASIS REVIEW" IS BARELY A STANDARD IT'S BASICALLY JUST GOING "YEAH STATES CAN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT AS LONG AS THEY GIVE A REASON"

YOU DID NOT EVEN HAVE TO GO THAT FAR

BUT YOU DID ?!???!?!

YOU BASICALLY OPENED THE DOOR TO A TOTAL AND ABSOLUTE BAN ON ABORTION AND THE CRIMINALIZATION OF ABORTION WHEN EVEN THE LAW YOU WERE ASKED TO REVIEW DID NOT GO THAT FAR

BUT YEAH SURE WE WOULD N E V E R WANT THE SCOTUS TO OVERSTEP ITS POWER TO IMPLEMENT POLICY PREFERENCES

[feral feminine legal screeching]

#abortion #scotus #supreme court #us politics #dobbs v jackson

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resonancewitness · 2 months

Text

imagining "Everything is Lovely" as a form of poetic dialogue

continuing the fanfiction/ clownery from the previous post

...first of all, I have some issue with this translation of 万物可爱

as my level of Chinese is very basic, I find it very entertaining just to stare at the characters, and I loiter a lot just shuffling them around a bit in search of meaning

and at the end, I stay with the sum of “multitude” + “(can) exist” + “love”, letting these three clouds of meaning cross-pollinate, dispensing with grammar structure, without rushing to press them into something superficially-intelligible

for me it is not just “many things are loveable/cute”, but also, for example, “many loves exist”, or, if we imaginatively insert a time-measuring character, "love exists for very long time"

the key line in this song for me is “lotus has taken root under the mud. please, don’t look back, lotus flower”

the symbolism of lotus is that it is a spiritually cleansing flower that represents longevity. the lotus seeds can stay under the dry mud for years until the circumstances are right, the epitomes of patience and resilience

but when they finally sprout and take root, the plant grows for many years.

this line in my mind entered in a poetic dialogue with one of the songs gg sang at “Our Song” show, “Loving You is Loving the Loneliness”:

I only want to hear you say

you are willing to love me

until the end of the world and the next century

I really only want you to say

what am I in your heart?

give me an answer, it is not an extravagant request

...what am I in your heart? ...lotus flower.

say you are willing to love me until the end of the world and the next century

lotus has taken root. it is here to stay, despite everything.

I love the early spring, and I love the late autumn, I love the young, and I will love the old

I love the black hair and I will love the white hair

I love the travellers. life will be simple when they return to the door

are these the same fellow travellers that we had heard about earlier that year? the ones that embrace under the same sky, singing the same song? for whom the miracle thousands of miles away is so beautiful that love goes beyond distance?

does going the miles and days apart from each other feel like sleepwalking? do you feel more awake when you meet?

but it is life either way, not to be disparaged or de-valued just because not all the dreams come true at the same time

I love to be awake, and I love dreaming. I will love the sleepwalking time when I wake up.

so much time apart.

but please don’t look back (with regret), lotus flower

I am willing to chant just to give him a glimmer of hope, - my mind offers from a quote from “Twenty”

yes, there are beautiful things that happened in the past and will never be recreated in the same way, and I love them

and people I love, I will never let go of, when the right time comes

...

what I hear is a beautiful declaration of long-term commitment, a reassurance

this is my galaxy brain, my wild imagination, this is total fanfiction, clownery and cpn

to be continued

#yizhan #witnessing something precious #bjyxszd #everything is lovely #poetic dialogue #songline #fellow travelers #I am willing to chant just to give him a glimmer of hope #now i realise: to love you is to fall in love with loneliness #love goes beyond distance #art connects the private and the generally shared

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accio-victuuri · 1 year

Text

CPN : Yibo’s single teaser 2 of 12. 🌤

part one is here.

His new single is called Like The Sunshine. There are 10 more things to see! I don’t know how everything is gonna be released but i’m just here patiently waiting and clowning like I always do. I’m really loving the imagery, it feels so storybook-ish even with all the black/white. it’s like drawn by chalk kind of feel.

Now let’s look at the things we noticed. 📝

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

I’m gonna be a lazy in this first one, but the connection of sun/sunshine to bjyx’s sun/sunflower symbol really jumped out when I saw this and read the lines. What they both say about being born towards the sun and what GG said before: “Then everyone can be like the sun”. The boys are really consistent with the things they like. The same goes with the WHALE. I mean, who didn’t think of GG’s drawing and when he posted about that screen cap from Attorney Woo drama? You don’t even have to think that far. It’s right there.

Whale symbolizes great ambition, bravery, beauty and peace. It is also a symbol of love, because it has only one spouse in its life, and it is extremely loyal to love. After the whale dies, it will form a whale fall, which is the last gift of the whale to nature, representing selfless dedication.

There is also jellyfish below and bxgs are reminded of their fave, spongebob, and how they role played it during an interview. The line was — Patrick, let’s catch jellyfish together. Lastly is the band Whale Circus and how GG listed a lot of their songs on his playlist.

I don’t really want to make any interpretations on the lyrics till the whole thing comes out. It’s hard to do so without any context but I have to agree that his Nian and this have a very different feel to his previous ones. I saw this comment ( photo below) and I really do agree. Wugan and ROMW are more of about himself and in a way, his frustrations about the life that he is living. It was more of looking into himself and making it all about him — his world concentrated on his own. However the next two looks at his growth as a person. I won’t credit everything to XZ, only that being with someone like him helped WYB to see the bigger picture. A world view that is more hopeful. WYB always had that in him, it was only amplified when he spent time with XZ. I really love how they make each other a better version of themselves. They are already great as individuals but being together and around each other made them more.

more clownery on the lines released, XZ.

A BXG made this edit and it makes sense. The art style seems very XZ. There is a whimsical quality to some of XZ’s artwork and this teaser gives me the same feel too. The windows also remind us of ZZ’s photos with it featured.

This is a short one, well as expected since we have more to come and not everything will have lots of cpn clues. I really hope we get an MV for this single, a real and actual music video please. 🤍

-END.

#yizhan #bjyx #clowning and cpn bye #all of this is cpn

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perhaps-in-anotherdream · 1 year

Text

[CN] 5th Anniversary Event – Final Day (Victor)

⌚Warning⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for content yet to be released in the global server! ♡

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

–

[Anika’s Notes]: Since I haven’t translated the previous 4 days yet (will hopefully do later) – here are some things you need to know:

It was initially MC’s plan to arrange a vacation for them (! MC be cooking before he gets home and everything to surprise him) 🥺

But it turns out, Victor is the one who gives MC a bigger surprise by having already planned everything and organizing the trip – telling her that all she needs to do is enjoy. 🥹

And most importantly, throughout the entire vacation (i.e. all prev. 4 event days), Victor has been sneaking out EVERY MORNING – telling MC he either went for a run, or had some urgent matters to handle. 🫠🫠

And he sneaks out today too, but then PG decides to clown a bit LOL🤡

—

•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•

✧ [Final Day] ✧

I browse the calendar in my hand and find that this “vacation trip” seems to be already drawing closer to the epilogue.

MC: How do vacations always go by so fast…

MC: Victor, today we…

Brrring brrring – – before I can speak, Victor’s phone rings again.

Victor: Mm, I’ve got it.

Victor: I will come by to confirm the specific time.

Accompanied by the hint of silence on the other side, Victor sets down the phone.

He then stands up. There seems to be a slight urgency in his expression.

MC: Is it something important?

Victor: Mm, I need to make a trip there myself.

Victor: But I won’t be going out of this area.

MC: Go quickly, then. I’ll be waiting for you here.

Victor: Not gonna ask more questions digging into the details this time?

MC: Because I know that you’ll definitely come back very soon.

Victor: [precious, soft laugh] Dummy.

The voice that was still a little tense just a moment ago has now relaxed, reinstating its forever-steady state.

Victor: You won’t have to wait too long.

–

Victor: Wait for me. You won’t have to wait too long.

MC: What can I do first while waiting for Victor…

MC: …!?

MC: A text message? Who is this from?

MC: [reading the text] “‘Numerous choices in life’ – a special event opens at the theater…”

MC: [reading the text] “We warmly invite you to join us and experience for yourself – Loveland City Theater.”

MC: …a special event at the theater?

MC: It seems like Victor won’t be back for a while, and the Loveland City Theater isn’t very far away.

MC: Let’s go there and have a look~

–

*INSERT PG’s CLOWNERY* After MC arrives at the theater; she is shown the cruel “What-ifs” video: Here!

[Please do remember to watch the video before proceeding further]

–

Fragments of everything we’ve been through in the past appear vividly before my eyes, finally cumulating into a blur of water-stream.

I gently close my eyes as they overflow with tears, feeling a little grief-stricken, but also grateful.

We went through countless possibilities of running in the opposite direction, and yet we’ve arrived at each other’s side.

I exhale softly, and suddenly a helpless voice resounds next to my ear.

Victor: Didn’t I tell you to wait for me near the hotel?

Victor: How did you end up running here within such a short time?

I turn my head and see that familiar face of Victor.

Victor’s gaze falls on my reddened eyes, seeming a little surprised. Without waiting for him to say anything, I throw myself into his arms at a blazing speed.

My hands exert slight pressure to embrace the treasure I once lost and have now found. I just want to hold this person in front of me a little tighter.

There is a pause in the breathing in my ears, and a warm hand pats my back.

Victor: What’s wrong? What did you see just now?

I try hard to calm my emotions and look up, pretending nothing has happened.

MC: …nothing much. It was just a little bit emotional.

MC: It just suddenly dawned on me that perhaps everything I’m experiencing now was made possible by the countless choices made in the past.

MC: We’ve been through so much. But fortunately, fortunately, we didn’t pass by each other.

Victor gazes thoughtfully into my eyes, his voice suddenly turning softer.

Victor: Dummy, it’s not “fortunately.”

Victor: When it comes to us, there has never been a second possibility.

Encased by the reassuring and calming warmth, the last trace of restlessness within me suddenly dissipates.

I nod and gently interlock his fingers with mine. Then, I hear his voice which is laced with a peal of laughter.

Victor: Let’s go. It’s time to go to the next site.

Victor: The destination of our journey won’t stop here.

–

The stars at night are akin to the inextinguishable city lights, hanging high in the sky.

Victor leads me through the streets adorned with clusters of trees on the sides, and we slowly walk into a flat area.

A huge lake shows forth before our eyes, its bluish-green ripples dancing slowly. The lights reflecting off the lake’s surface set off the surrounding landscape extraordinarily brightly.

MC: Is there some kind of exhibition going on here?

I point to the posters and signs hoisted up in the distance and ask, slightly puzzled.

Victor: A rose exhibition will be held here tomorrow.

MC: Eh? So why did we come here today, then?

The words haven’t yet left my mouth when I see a foreigner attired in a white suit hurriedly walking over to us.

Victor: Henry.

Henry: [he speaks in Chinese btw] Mr. Victor, you’ve finally arrived.

The other party’s fluent accent takes me completely by surprise, and it seems that he’s been waiting for a really long time to say these words.

Victor: How’s the exhibition coming along?

Henry: Everything is going smoothly.

Henry: It’s really all thanks to the sponsor you introduced that we’ve been able to bring so many roses from the Meisen Estate.

Henry: And now, not only do we have a collection of nearly all the roses in the world here, but countless people will be able to enjoy their beauty to their heart’s content.

Henry: “For everyone can enjoy finding the rose belonging to them” – there is no place better suited than here for this theme right now.

Victor: [hurriedly cuts him off] Henry, keep an eye on the time.

Victor’s reminder causes the excited look on Henry’s face to calm down, and he hastily waves his hand behind him.

The heavy iron gate is slowly pushed open, revealing a long aisle that spirals upward.

Henry: As a token of gratitude to you, the rose garden will be open tonight for only the two of you.

Henry makes a gesture of invitation, then he opens the entrance to the park behind him.

–

“Find the rose you love the most.”

This is the first placard we see as we walk into the rose garden.

The long, inclined path is spread out with vast clusters of roses that invade the line of sight in a bossy manner, so much so that they don’t even leave one the time to think about anything else.

The fragrance of roses surging from all sides lingers around the tip of my nose, interweaving into the symphony of romantic poetry.

MC: So beautiful…

I pull Victor with me and walk up to the roses by the roadside, where a short poem is written on a small sign.

“In me the tiger sniffs the rose” – it’s from « In Me, Past, Present, Future meet » by Seigfried Sassoon.

MC: Victor, don’t you find that this sentence resembles you right now?

I quietly bring the rose in my hand to the tip of Victor’s nose.

Victor: [sulks] You mean, I’m fierce?

MC: What I mean is, you both belong to the cat family.

MC: And when a rose and a big cat are brought together, don’t you think it’s really cute?

As I quip, the corners of Victor’s lips seem to slowly curve up into an arc.

Victor: Good excuse.

Victor: But there is another layer of meaning to this poem.

Victor: [In English] My loves leap through the future’s fence, To dance with dream-enfranchised feet.

Victor softly reads out the first half of the poem, his steady voice seeming to penetrate the shackles of time.

Victor: Regardless of what choices were made, they’ve all already turned into the past.

Victor: The crucial point is the journey ahead. How do you want to walk that path?

Victor casts his gaze over, and his eyes look as if an endless stream of time is flowing within them.

The palm of his hand that he’s extended to me is akin to a wordless question, knocking on the door of my heart.

MC: I’ll hold your hand and walk together, of course~

I take Victor’s hand without the slightest hesitation. This is an answer that doesn’t require any thought whatsoever.

We walk into the long flower path. The surrounding seems to have been painstakingly planted with the same kind of flowers.

The short branches stretching out are adorned with clusters of bright, splendid red. It’s reminiscent of coming out of a classical oil painting.

MC: I know this one. It’s the small-leaved rose lily.

MC: “Just like it is to everyone else, it’s the most perfect rose to me.”

I quietly read the words written on the placard and indistinctly feel ripples stirring in my heart.

Victor: After seeing so many, which one do you like the most?

MC: Each and every one of them has a very charming feel…

MC: Lovely, resilient, and very precious-looking. They all have their own charm.

MC: Ahh, it’s so hard to choose… do you have a rose you like the most?

Victor: I seem to have asked you this question first?

MC: Just answer first.

I raise my head to meet Victor’s gaze, trying to find an answer in his eyes.

And he doesn’t look away. He simply gazes at me quietly as if everything else around him doesn’t even exist.

Victor: I’m looking at the one I like the most right now.

Hearing his straightforward words, the blush on my cheeks unconsciously climbs up to the tips of my ears.

Victor: And what’s your answer?

Victor’s face is now right in front of my eyes. The warmth of his breathing is very light, but it lands on me with a burning heat.

My answer is the same as his.

The words in my heart cry out as if to alleviate my heart from jumping out of my chest. I hurriedly pull Victor along and continue walking further, coming to the mouth of a canopied passageway.

The narrow, canopied passageway is a little dark. I can’t help but tighten my hold around our interlocked fingers a little more.

The road isn’t long. But for some reason, we don’t say a word on the way and just feel the warmth of each other’s palms in silence.

It’s as if we can keep walking like this endlessly as long as we are by each other’s side, even if we have no idea where the path ahead may lead.

At last, a burst of ethereal light appears at the far end of our line of sights.

MC: Is there some kind of surprise ahead?

I raise my head. Victor’s face is hazy in the faintly shimmering light, but I find it impossible to look away.

Victor: It’s still roses.

MC: Is that so?

Victor nods, and we walk forward.

–

We keep on walking until the dotted starry sky gradually comes into view, and what accompanies it is the irresistible fragrance of roses.

And the moment we walk out of the canopied passageway, it’s indeed what Victor said.

MC: It’s really roses…

The vastness of red spreads wholly across the horizon, composing a rose-colored ocean beneath the endless night sky.

The intense moonlight in the sky seems to be tinged with a layer of crimson.

My entire field of vision is invaded and occupied overwhelmingly, wrapping all around me as if I were not allowed to escape.

Victor: There will be many people coming to see this exhibition.

Victor: But you’re the first person to see them.

Victor’s tender voice echoes in my ears, and I seem to realize everything he wants to say at the moment.

The experience of this trip, which initially stemmed from a sense of novelty, seems to have turned into a thread that ties together all our long-standing memories.

–

[Tidbits from Anika]: MC here is referring to the entire anniversary event, where throughout this trip, they recreated together, and Victor personally designed to recreate many of the memories from their past dates in these five years.

–

Although, just as before, he still doesn’t need other people to come and witness, silently pouring out everything he wants to convey.

But now, he will proclaim his answer to everyone with the grandest gesture possible.

Perhaps, it’s the style of expressing that belongs only to Victor, flowing quietly. It’s akin to calm yet eternally advancing time.

MC: I must say, it’s still very much the style of CEO Victor~

MC: So, when can we experience such a trip again?

Victor: There is no such thing as a free lunch in this world.

The words haven’t yet left his mouth when I find his generous arms pulling me into his embrace.

His steady voice stifles a soft laugh, and it reverberates in my ears.

Victor: But you are the exception.

SWOOSH––

A long-drawn crackling sound resonates in my ears out of nowhere. And soon after, gigantic blazes of lights fill the entire sky.

The rose-like crimson fireworks thoroughly light up the entire night sky. It seems as if the whole world exists only in that one color.

Delicate rose petals stream down from the air, like a rain of roses.

Victor: The timing is just right.

MC: Wow, is this a part of the exhibition too?

I look up following the rose petals drizzling from the air, and my eyes have already been dyed as pink as they could be.

Victor: This is a surprise prepared for you.

The fireworks blooming in the sky halo the dazzling glow in Victor’s eyes with overlapping haze. When the word “surprise” leaves his mouth, the memories during this period also come flooding into my heart.

I think about him waking up early every morning and pretending to go for a run, the abrupt phone calls, and the slightly anxious urging he gave Henry when we walked in here — all of these point to a common answer.

MC: So, when you used to go out early in the morning, that was to actually arrange this?

Victor: Not too slow on the uptake this time.

The flowers falling arbitrarily from the sky seem to have created a silent world.

And the final piece to fill this world – is his soft kiss.

The gentle yet powerful sensation of stimulation spreads from my lips to the tip of my tongue, and it seems that if the next second goes by, I will never be able to wake up from this again.

Victor: MC, happy fifth anniversary.

His surging breath engulfs me intensely, as if to not allow me the slightest opportunity to catch my breath.

The gorgeous fireworks continue to unfold their dazzling light in the night sky.

I reach out and brush aside the tips of his hair falling on his forehead and happen to pick a tiny rose petal while doing so.

I point to the continuously blooming fireworks in the night sky, as I’m reminded of the sky awash in the glow of the sunset I saw from the windowsill with him that day.

The Rose Festival, which was interrupted because of an accident, now seems to have drawn to a perfect end.

–

[Tidbits]: MC is referring to their “Rose All Day” date in EN~

–

MC: I remember that you said back then, “the most beautiful rose” is not just the rose itself.

MC: CEO Victor, is this a continuation of the message you conveyed that day?

At the end of this unique holiday experience, he’s brought this rose-colored world for me.

Victor: That was then. But that’s not what it means now.

MC: Is there any difference?

The last cluster of fireworks soars into the sky, sending out a blazing sound in the long-standing silence.

He lowers his head and looks at me, his eyes reflecting infinite rays of resplendent lights.

Victor: The most beautiful rose has been by my side all along.

—

#I WILL NEVER GET OVER THE WAY MC DOESN’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE WORLD AND CAN CRY IN HIS ARMS ENDLESSLY ;-;#THE WAY THIS MAN CONTINUES TO RUIN ME FOR THE REAL WORLD AKSKFJSJK WHY ARE YOU SO GODDAMN FRIGGIN UNREAL #WENT THROUGH ALL THAT TO JUST TELL HER THAT I MEAN!?!? THE WAY THESE TWO HAVE THEIR WAY WITH ABSOLUTE GRAND GESTURES THO #😭😭😭#i adore Wu Lei sm but his english ahah i’m already kinda used to it from Charlie but that still LOL–– 😅☄️#mlqc victor #mlqc li zeyan #mlqc #mr love victor #mr love queen's choice #恋与制作人 #李泽言 #love and producer #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc translations

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yuukei-yikes · 1 year

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shintaro and kanos toxic relationship can be something so deeply appealing because of how horrible they are for each other. like. kano having to analyze his actual emotions towards shintaro and shintaro also finally giving in to the im bisexual crisis and also dude youre aware thats your dead girlfriend’s little brother right? also something something kano getting upset with shintaro and using his eye powers to turn into ayano just to hurt him. theyre unhealthy. they make me absolutely insane ok sorry if this was unintelligible in ur inbox lmao

RIGHT but ALSO IT COULD EVENTUALLY TURN INTO SOMETHING HEALTHY... like ofc a lot of clownery has to go on before and that clownery is so so so so so so much fun to explore. but i do think they're capable of getting to a point of a peaceful relationship despite it involves mutual compliance/resignation with both each other and themselves that leads to WOW eventual happiness and contentment with each other. it gets to a point where they aren't together out of their own gratification but bc they LIKE EACH OTHER AS PEOPLE AND YEAH THEY ALWAYS DID BUT THEY NEVER LIKED EACH OTHER MORE THAN THEY RESENTED EACH OTHER BUT NOW THEY DONT RESENT IT THEY JUST LIKE EACH OTHER AND THATS ENOUGH(holds head) bc "well i guess we deserve each other" and it is still sad but...not so much?? idk if that makes sense. but like... Healthy peaceful kanoshin (explodes) like they're arguing and getting all on each other's faces and the Dan's like can u stop fighting and theyre like ?? that's just how we talk though we arent fighting? and they rly arent. ppl who have never been in a loving relationship (not necessarily romantic by the way) with this dynamic wont understand but it IS possible. *shakes you*

idk ive read some stuff where they're so tooth rottingly sweet to each other and i just can't see it💔 i think they can have rare tender moments ofc and they DO but then both act super awkward despite they're in a relationship LOL like they can have 1 tender moment then turn around and just sit there holding hands and awkwardly scrolling on their phones idk idk idk (goes crazy) or they just tease each other abt it or whatever. i think they both rather show affection physically rather than verbally?? i think kanos super touchy. shintaros like do u have to sit here (shot of the completely empty couch aside from shintaro sitting on the edge and kano pressed right beside him) and kano's like wdym. kano's always with an arm around him even if hes shorter. hehe. its so normal shintaro gets used to it so kano just casually throws himself on his lap and shintaro's just like lifting his arms to give him space and never looks away from his phone *destroys all my pillows shaking them like a dog*

not me getting into love language territory. sorry. whatever. idk what all of them even are i think there is 5 but kanoshin is NOT words of affirmation. i think both want them but can't handle hearing it. like yeah they flirt (it IS cringe) but man idk i just cant imagine them being super outwardly sweet to each other... like their flirting is super cringe its the oh REAAAALLY?? kind of flirting not HEHE... kind. DO U UNDERSTAND WHAT IM SAYING OR AM I INSANE

sorry u sent an ask abt toxic kanoshin and i answered with fluff THATS NOT TO SAY UR WRONG. UR TOTALLY RIGHT. BUT I THINK THEY CAN GET TO A GOOD POINT TOGETHER AFTER A LONG CIRCUS MOMENT i just felt bad i kept using them as punching bags everytime i talked abt them... and they are both so capable of love. they are so capable of love that is why they suffer like they do(holds head) they deserve to flirt and be silly i think. tender kanoshin *world explosion*

BTW u mentioned dead ayano. dont get me started on dead or alive ayano for str thats another subject (quickly: dead ayano is a more meaningful end but AYANO I LOVE YOU so i always keep her alive in my post str stuff) kanoshin can work even if ayano lives‼️‼️‼️ ALSO COME ON THAT MAKES IT SO MUCH FUNNIER

#ask tag #let me google abt love languages.#headcanons

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qqueenofhades · 1 year

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as a young person who is also very fed up with online leftists, it’s so frustrating because i do understand where a lot of my peers are coming from. i was born in 99 and i feel like american politics has just been nightmare after nightmare throughout my life. we weren’t quite old enough to understand what obama was up against during his presidency, and when we did finally start tuning into politics, it was during the trump era of clownery and everything has just felt so much more panicked and urgent (a lot of which is manufactured, i’m aware) since. i understand people being sick of things taking so long to change, i am too, i just don’t know how they think not voting or claiming both sides suck (which diminishes how dangerous the gop is) is going to put us in a better position. they may think it sucks right now under biden but it sucked a lot more under trump and would suck even worse if the gop took the presidency in 2024

Like... yes, to an extent, I understand. You guys came of age right when things really went off the rails with Obama Derangement Syndrome, everything got a lot worse and a lot scarier overnight, and it felt like the current system was so laughably inadequate for the problems at hand that of course it needed huge and immediate changes. Which, like! I'm not disagreeing! I wake up every day and I see something else terrible and/or stupid has happened and I occasionally just wish for the meteor too! But I am also a grownup who recognizes that that's not going to actually fix anything, and that life beyond echo-chamber leftist Twitter exists. So yes, we all have the "just give in and blow it up" moments. But that's... not actually a political strategy, certainly not a humane one, and it continues to baffle and infuriate me that that's just Online Leftist staple rhetoric.

I know that it can be difficult for people of any age, but particularly young people, to conceptualize anything outside of their own lived experiences/personal memories, and yes, you have the misfortune of coming of age in a particularly bad political moment. Again, nobody's denying this! But if someone's response to that is to insist that only they know anything "true," history and/or culture and/or the besetting problems of America for its entire 250-year existence either aren't real or could have been solved by the Democrats already if they just Tried Hard Enough, then those of us who know better are under no obligation to take this BS seriously. It gets even worse when these people start acting like they're the only authority to ever be trusted, everyone else is wrong and/or evil, and their twisted immature ideal of "revolution!" is the only way forward.

Humans, and human society, politics, culture, history, etc., are complicated. The world does not exist in a neat black-and-white, zero-sum moral vacuum where one choice is totally right and the other is totally wrong. Attempts to impose the Most Correct Ideology, of whatever stripe, have always ended terribly and done a lot of avoidable damage. But "things got really bad in four years and Biden hasn't fixed that + every other problem in America since its founding, therefore he and the Democrats are actually worse than Trump!" is just straight-up clown magical thinking, and it offers absolutely nothing useful for anyone, especially those who sanctimoniously claim to want to fix it. So, yeah.

#anonymous #ask #politics for ts

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lemonhemlock · 1 year

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many people's hatred of helaemond (me included) comes from all ugly implications of adultery and possible illegitimacy of children. which is why blacks pretend to love helaemond so much - because it lowers helaena (and everyone in this triangle) to rhae-rhae's level of dirt and mess. they want to revel in this humiliation of greens. they act so righteous, they pretend to be pious and dutiful, but look how they "really" are! the helaemond itself is alright ship if executed properly (what these writers will never do) - courtly love never consummated, or idk aegon/helaena married had all these kids then divorced and only then aemond swoops in - something that doesn't take away from their virtues. helaemond as imagined by average black stan is insulting out of character garbage.

and herein lies the problem, which i'm going to describe as two-fold. first is the "dutiful" interpretation, over which i've already been ten thousand times, so i'm not going to repeat myself, apart from pointing out that nothing about aemond's relationship with alys is dutiful in the first place. it goes against his "honour" and "virtue" as the baratheon girl's betrothed and jeopardises a vital military alliance for his brother's war, thus possibly threatening the lives of his entire family. aemond obviously has a very complicated relationship with duty, to pretend otherwise is reductive, so i fail to see him dynamiting his brother's marriage (who he is jealous of) as particularly OOC.

i've had it suggested to me that dutiful aemond stops being dutiful only after b&c, bc that is the point he starts spiralling and letting loose. and, while that's certainly a valid interpretation & i don't begrudge people having it, it's strange to insist with such zeal it's the only possible interpretation. "aemond stops being dutiful on day X of month Y at Z o'clock" does not feel super organic to me and is more in line with a child stomping his foot on the floor bc he was refused a piece of candy. it's giving "because i say so" explanation vibes. it's not outrageous to point out that the desire and drive are already there, even before storm's end, even if they are repressed, and build a dynamic on top of that which, yes, might lead him down a path of (self)-sabotage. that angst and guilt and pathos are actually part of the appeal

secondly, the bastard question is not really a problem when the children look exactly like they're supposed to. aegon, aemond & helaena are already pretty inbred with their sibling-grandparents and sibling-great-grandparents - it's very plausible for them to be sufficiently genetically-similar that any children they might have would look very much alike anyway. rhaenyra's clownery in this regard was many-fold, in the sense that, not only was the phenotype of her children nigh impossible to pass off as reasonable, but they also had v distinct features like pug noses that only harwin had. helaena's kids are not going to be born with sapphires in their eye socket. remember that cersei & jaime were able to get away with it bc they look v similar that the children all looked like cersei anyway and that was enough. in any case, this is something i've also been over already more times than i can count at this point, so i'm not going to get into it again

i would characterize these "issues" more like differences of opinion, certainly not something to garner this level of vitriol to the point where other greens are feeling unwelcome in green spaces and are afraid to express their like of this ship so as to not get hounded, as i've had anons tell me in the past and as you can see on twitter. it's not the East-West Schism of 1054, yet people are acting like their life depends on saving the greens' virtue. speaking of which, i would assign them a lot of interesting traits, but virtuous would not exactly appear in that particular semantic field

lastly, perhaps it's because i don't seek out team black accounts, but i've never really encountered this TB version of helaemond. the content i've seen was from team green adjacent people or, at the very least, fans who liked characters from both sides and were not really tribalistic, which seems fine? i can't say i've read all 500 helaemond fics on ao3 but i've skimmed through quite a few - enough to say that i don't really remember any written by team black stans and none that used helaemond in such a way you've described, like this tool to demean the greens and insult them. how many could there actually be for this to become a true problem? if i stumbled upon one i can always hit the back button and continue scrolling until i find something else

#ask #anon #helaemond

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snwusberry · 2 years

Text

untitled

pairing: est. wooyoung x fem reader

genre: angst (?), fluff

word count: somewhere in the thousands

warning(s): lowkey, if not, highkey bullying, is there language? disney villan type tea

note: this was actually taken from an smau hens, the reader bring female. my apologies

| Y/N |

i was literally just minding my own business, trying to live my best life when a witch. a witch who's presence is draining to whoever is around her. her aura is negative and she goes around spreading it like a disease.

i ignore her, the music on my headphones to block her out which she clearly hates. she just has to have my attention.

she snaps her fingers in front of me which makes me roll my eyes and give my precious attention to her.

"what do you want?" i flat out ask. no life in my voice whatsoever which makes her roll her eyes.

"so hostile." she holds her chest in fake sadness. "can't we put the past behind us? i'm trying to be civil"

i loudly scoff, damn near laughing. she can't be serious.

"yeah well i'm not. leave me alone."

"always so bitter. i still wonder what wooyoung saw in you. you're always so negative, it's draining." she slyly comments in an overly dramatic way.

what did this bitch say? excuse me but as far as i'm concerned i'm not the one who threw their best friend down the stairs and landing them in the ER over a guy, but sure, i'm the negative one?

"are you done harassing me? i'd like to go on with my life." i deadpan.

i honestly don't even know why i'm still entertaining this clownery. she's been at it for like 3 weeks now.

"don't you feel any type of guilt? none whatsoever?"

my face twists into a confused expression because i truly don't know what she's going on about.

"what?"

"don't act confused. you knew all along how i felt for wooyoung yet you still went ahead and accepted his advances. how could you do that to your own friend?" see this is what we're not gonna do.

she never once mentioned having a crush on wooyoung. she never told me anything and if she thinks i was supposed to pick up on her hints then she's gone mad. i'm no mind reader so i had no clue.

"i don't have time for this today" i stand up and attempt to walk away when she runs her big mouth again

"it's funny. how low are his standards that you're the one he fell for? you're just not right for him."

i turn around slowly to face her. no way she just said that. first of all, who even talks like that? it's ridiculous.

"what did you say?"

"you don't deserve to be in a relationship with him. he's too good for you. i mean, how could someone like him be wuth something like you."

i look at her baffled. something? how was i friends with someone so... shallow?

"and who deserves to be with him? you?"

"yes! see, you get it. you're not right for him."

i scoff at her words, fighting the urge to roll my eyes. "get it together. at the end of the day you're not the one he liked. i can't control who he has feelings for so hop off my case please."

"i bet you don't even like him. you only said you reciprocated his feelings to get to me because you're jealous of me."

hmm, childish AND deluded. that's not cute in the slightest bit actually.

"me? jealous of you?" she nods. "your head is so far up your own ass that you even started talking shit. why would i be jealous of someone who's so ready to throw away their friendship over a guy? a guy i told him i like him because that's how i felt. not to spite you, not to get at you, none of that. the world doesn't revolve around you and things won't always go your way. you're so delusional to even think that way. "

"can't you see that you're being so unfair? you're such a backstabber, you deserved what happened to you. if you had a conscience then you'd break up with him."

i shut my eyes really tight to try and hold myself back from getting violent because one more word, i'm gonna swing.

"have a good day" i simply tell her and try to walk away again.

"i'm not gonna back down without a fight."

the complete and itter bullshit im hearing right now.

"goodluck with that because you're fighting alone. so again, have a good day." i finally get the chance to walk away.

who does she even think she is? calling me all that? i think not. i got better things to worry about. got me messed all the way up, absolutely not.

i sit down under a tree and quickly send wooyoung a text before it starts raining.

just my luck.

i hear the crunchy sound of shoes on the pebbled ground behind me but i don't flinch or look back, i just keep my eyes trained on a bald spot in the grass like it's the most interesting thing in the world.

"baby?" his voice immediately brings the slightest tears in my eyes. i haven't gotten to talk to him in what feels like forever because we've both been so busy so the sound of his voice brings me unimaginable comfort.

curse me for being a weak ass bitch. i need to stand up for real.

"why are you out alone in the cold?"

"i love the cold. see, i'm thr-thiving." ew why did i stutter like that? i'm not doing this, sorry.

"come on. let's take you home." he offers me his hand to help me stand up, completely ignoring my previous words and weak voice.

"i'm good right here you go without me" my voice got shaky i don't know if it's because i'm trying not to cry or if i'm shivering from the cold.

he just sighs and stands there a little longer, the only sound being from the rain pattering softly on the ground and a bit louder on the umbrella wooyoung is holding.

"okay then." he then sits down right next to me on the wet grass he closes his umbrella and he just sits with me in the rain which makes me slightly panic.

"what are you doing? you're gonna catch a cold."

"well you refuse to let me take you home and i'm not leaving you here alone. so i guess we'll both get sick since you wanna be so stubborn." his voice comes out so stern but i can't help but smile at his words. he's way too selfless for his own good.

"stop being such a sweet person, people will take advantage of you." i murmur, looking at the grass again and bringing my knees closer to my chest in attempt to get sone sort of warmth.

he just laughs and looks at me but his face quickly changes to that of worry when he hears me sniffle. "you wanna talk about it?"

i just look at him and scoff, trying to brush it off. "what makes you think anything is wrong?"

"your eyes are bloodshot with tears streaming down your face while you sit under a tree in the dirt as it rains."

"okay maybe something is wrong."

"well?"

i guess i should tell him. i can't pretend everything is okay, especially not with him. hell call me out on my bullshit.

"aria. she..." i let out a much needed breath before continuing. "...she told me that i don't deserve to be your girlfriend. she mocked me, told me i'm not good enough and that you'd be better off with her. she said it doesn't make sense for someone like you to be with something like me. that's not even the worst part she said i deserved being pushed down those steep ass stairs which landed me in hospital due to the fucking trauma my head experienced. oh, she also called me a backstabber for reciprocating your feelings, telling me that i lied about my feelings to spite her, which, i'm not gonna lie, kinda stung. who is she to doubt how i feel about you?" wow, saying really makes me feel pathetic for reacting this way, like why didn't i just ignore her from the get go?

"and it got to you?" he simply asks and i nod my head at his words.

"she's obviously trying to get to you. you did nothing wrong. absolutely nothing. she's trying to get you to rethink our relationship because guess what? she's bitter." he speaks softly and his words make me smile.

"i'm not as naive as she thinks i am. nothing she says will make me rethink anything about us because you're literally the best thing to come into my life."

it's true. spending time with him always makes my day better, hearing his voice always makes me feel better. everything just feels right when he's around and it really makes me see that i'm down horrendous for this man.

"i absolutely adore you. not your appearance. i fell for the person that you are, your looks are just an added bonus. and if she's so vain and thinks that looks are everything then that's her own problem. plus i like my girls a little ugly anyways."

"hey."

there's a second of silence before we both laugh. i know he's joking when he says that. like i know i'm absolutely stunning babes, you don't need to tell me twice. that's not even what got to me because unlike her i'm not shallow and i'm very secure in my looks, you don't even have to worry about me with that one.

i lay my head on his shoulder and he rests his head on mine, wrapping a comforting arm around me and we just sit there in the rain. together like the dramatic people we are.

#jung wooyoung #wooyoung #wooyoung ateez #jung wooyoung imagines #jung wooyoung scenarios #jung wooyoung fluff #jung wooyoung angst #wooyoung imagines #wooyoung scenarios #wooyoung fluff #wooyoung angst #ateez wooyoung #ateez scenarios #ateez fluff #ateez imagines #kpop

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smoothpowerforthestreets · 1 year

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❤️ MANIFESTING YOUR SP ❤️

I apologize in advance if there is some grammar or spelling mistakes, english is not my first language.

Let’s start a little bit with my own experience so I can use it as an example of the mistakes I’ve made.

A long time ago I went through a break up that really hurt my feelings because I was in love and I didn’t want to end the relationship. He was the one who wanted to break up and I totally lost my mind. I started crying and begging on my knees (the clownery) asking him to give it a chance so we can work it out. He didn’t, we went to no contact, I was blocked on everything and we ended on really bad terms.

The relationship ended because he said he didn’t love me anymore and the days after the break up I pressured him so much that he ended up blocking me. I spent like 4 months trying to manifest him back and I stopped trying because I met someone who catched my interest but didn’t work out with this new person and I finally spent some time focusing on myself. And boom, that’s when it happened.

I started with the law of attraction, the 3x6x9 method, but it didn't work out. Again I tried with spells, but it didn't work out either. And finally I tried with the law of assumption, which I saw some movement on the 3D but didn’t work out because I cared too much about what I was seeing on the 3D. I cared about something he did that was the opposite of what I was trying to manifest and I surrendered at that first “inconvenience”.

Mistakes I made:

The mistake I made in every method is doing it from a place of neediness, desperation and lack of… When you are hurt the first thing that comes to mind to ease that pain is to have that person come back. So you act and feel like that person is the solution and the medicine you need.

Another common mistake is skipping shadow work and self concept. I know you must be tired of hearing this, but it’s true.

Not giving time to heal. Even though it is related to shadow work, it is something I recommend doing separately. And soon you’ll know why.

Trying to manifest everything at once.

Not ignoring the 3D.

It depends on your manifestation ability that some of these things affect your manifestation. There are great manifesters who can do it in a blink and there are some others that need to “work out”. I needed to work out because I was a beginner in spirituality and I had just discovered about manifesting.

I don’t want to get your hopes down, but it’s important to know there are some things that take longer than others.

Manifesting it’s all about feeling that you already have it, that’s the key. Feel, act and plan like you are already living the life with your SP. BE DELUSIONAL.

How to fix those mistakes?

First you have to take your SP off the pedestal, he/she is a normal person that came out of your powerful mind and can make shitty mistakes that turned out to be hurtful. He/she is not someone who has something that makes him so superior that you are chasing in order to be complete. Let’s be for real, chasing someone like he/she is some kind of deity is kinda pathetic.

There is a popular belief that says that everyones is pushed out. I personally believe is true, so start doing f****** Shadow work! Start watching negative thoughts and trauma as some floating elements that you can observe and analyze, imagine yourself like this scene from Iron Man. Imagine that the small spheres are your thoughts and emotions, and the big spheres are the origin of those.

Think about how you can fix them. What can you do to change that perspective or stop stressing about it? Analyze them like you’re Tony Stark trying to figure out things in his lab. If you think you need help with some traumas, don’t be afraid to go to therapy and if you think you can do it alone, search shadow work questions (they may help you a lot).

On the other hand, we have self concept. Like I said, take that person off the pedestal and stop thinking that manifestation comes from an external place. It comes from yourself, you have to be aware of how powerful you are. I know it can be scary because you start noticing that it only depends on you.

Stop your life for a minute and say to yourself, wow I am that powerful. Start questioning yourself and your life in order to change it. What do I really want? How do I want it? Will this fulfill me? Am I hurting someone?

Start looking at yourself and seeing like the beautiful being you are. Not only physically but mentally too. There’s nothing more beautiful than a smart and emotionally intelligent person, because at the end of the day what really matters is how kind your soul is.

When you start healing traumas and cultivating your mind, you’ll see some physical changes: my skin started to clear, my face deflated, the facial symmetry came back and my eyes reflected peace and happiness.

Self Concept is not only about convincing yourself that you’re beautiful and worth it. It’s also about setting boundaries and doing things that you love. You can’t welcome new things in your life if you’re still attached to the things that no longer are healthy for you (lovers, friendships, studying something you’re not passionate about, working in a job you hate…). I’ll write another post entirely about this.

GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO HEAL. This is very important because I didn’t give myself time to heal and when I manifested him back I broke things off because I discovered that I no longer wanted him. I hurted him and I felt like shit.

So what I mean is:

Heal about the things that hurt you otherwise you’ll still feel resentment towards him/her and it won’t be a healthy relationship. This way it’s most likely to end.

Also heal and you may notice that you no longer want that. Think about how many great new things could be waiting for you ;) . Aren’t you excited to meet new people? There are so many great people around the world and it’s really beautiful to meet them. Also, you deserve better lol.

When I discovered manifestation I tried to manifest a lot of things at once. Your mind is a muscle and it needs to be trained, especially when you are a beginner. Again, there are some people that can do it so nothing is impossible. But it’s my personal advice to go step by step so you don’t get overwhelmed and frustrated.

Don’t react to the 3D, whatever is happening take it like the universe is testing you. The energy and emotions you put into what you are seeing are charging that engine and you'll see more of that. So you have to options:

Feed the engine you don’t want

Wait to the engine you want to feed

List of things you can do to manifest:

Scripting, write a letter to your person as you already have them. Imagine that you’re writing a beautiful birthday letter, Valentine's day letter or imagine that someday you are feeling really grateful so you decide to write that letter to give it the next time you see them.

Talk about it, imagine that you are having a conversation with a friend about them. Imagine that someone is asking about how you achieved it, how things are going with them, how are you feeling about it, telling your plans for the weekend with them, talking about when you tried a great restaurant with them, etc.

Act like you already have this person: start sleeping in one side of the bed bc you are sleeping with them, you always clean yourself, you always look great, make some space in your closet to their things, make a playlist on Spotify for your car rides, plan some outfits, when something good happens think about the excitement to tell them, etc.

Something that helped me is cleaning and readjusting my house. Throwing away some clothes and things was a practice to get rid of things that no longer serve me even though I have a special bond with it.

For example: I had a broken pair of Converse that I didn’t want to throw away and I thought: you know what, this reflects what I really want. I have to be capable of getting rid of these if I want a new pair, I will create great memories with the new pair and the good old memories will be on my mind, throwing them away doesn’t mean I’m going to forget everything.

Visualize it before going to sleep. Start imagining small things like, a picture you’re going to take of them, a picture they’re going to take of you, a small conversation, buying groceries with them, arguing about which movie is better, listening to a new song together, dancing together, just hugging, looking at the sunset, maybe a freaky thing ;))))) (but just once, because you want to attract them with love not lust). Whatever makes you feel a warmth in the chest.

Meditation, whatever meditation you want. I usually meditate to communicate with my spirit guides, organize my thoughts and discover new things.

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