Ed is an "us" person, isn't he.
"I haven't died yet, have I?. Maybe we should try that." with Izzy.
"He gave us up." with Stede.
We know that Ed doesn't think he's a "people person", he thinks he's generally unloveable - but he always has this one person he's totally intertwined with - and he can't let them go or he loses himself.
Without Stede coming along, I don't think Ed would have left Izzy, ever (and if Izzy'd found someone else... Ed wouldn't have taken it lightly. Like, at all.). He definitely wasn't ready for Izzy to leave in S1E4, and by S1E6 he already had Stede to fall back on (and he was still indecisive even then!).
It's also absolutely clear for Ed that, as soon as Stede leaves him, he'll go back to Izzy. But then the unthinkable happens: Izzy denies Edward in his first attempt at a breakup.
Suddenly there is noone Ed can be "us" with, and on top of being heartbroken and devastated I think he genuinly struggles with his identity at this point - who am I going to be?
Izzy makes it clear that there is no "us" anymore (I don't think he really means it, for the record, but Ed certainly hears it that way), and Stede has also made it clear that he's not interested. So, for the first time in forever, Ed has to define himself without another person to be "us" with.
He could be talent show Eddie, the "us" being him and the crew. But Ed immediately decides against it - I think he cannot imagine being accepted by more than one person and the crew's calls sound like mockery.
What Ed finally settles on, all by himself and heartbroken, is the most reductive and violent form of himself - the Kraken. Not a person (because he has no idea who this person could be), but a made-up mythical creature.
This is, incidentially, why Ed running away to become a fisherman was actually a great idea, in my opinion. That guy needs a lot of time being by himself, or among people he isn't tied to, figuring himself out. Ed needs to learn to trust other people more (not only his one person) to find out that he is actually really great with people, and eminently loveable.
The absolutely worst thing Ed could have done was isolating himself in a shack, intertwined with one person and one person only (and a reminder of his past dependency buried in the yard). If this doesn't come back to haunt him, I'll eat my pinkie.
But, no need to despair. I have the perfect solution. In S3, Izzy simply has to be resurrected, so that Izzy and Stede can go be pirates while Ed stays back to have some alone time (I have this all figured out, DJ please hire me).
And in the end, Ed can be with Stede because he wants to, not because he needs to.
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hosea as a character is SO sad to me. at the start of the game, he knows he's sick and likely dying. he spends his last months watching his family splinter - his oldest companion, partner, be manipulated and lose his way. hosea is replaced, in a sense, by micah - where dutch listened to him and his advice, he starts listening to micah. i think hosea sees where it's going to end and he's sad but he's said what he can and done what he can dutch still won't be swayed. it never crosses his mind to leave - he's done that once before - but there's people who still have a chance to get out: abigail, jack. before blackwater, i don't think he ever would have advised her to get out, but even in the early game, there's conversations he has with her about making her own life away from the gang.
but he still has moments of hope: the little missions with him and arthur, and the fishing trip with arthur and dutch, that feels like a little glimpse into what life was like before. maybe, he thinks, they can have that again if he plays his cards right.
this isn't to say him and dutch are completely estranged but by shady belle, it really feels like he knows he's never getting back what they had before. they still work together because they can't break the habit of a lifetime, but hosea knows dutch won't heed him.
when he dies, i bet anything he knows they'd been ratted out - and i bet he knows who it is.
if he'd survived the bank job, i have to wonder what he'd think of what came after. i wonder if dutch would've pointed the finger at him as the mole - and i have no doubt that micah would have encouraged it. he wouldn't have let dutch leave john in prison - i think he'd have gone with arthur to free him and then tried to get that little group - john, sadie, abigail, arthur, jack - to leave. he would've got sadie on side before springing john. would the others have listened to him? unsure. i don't think arthur would have done, and hosea wouldn't have blamed him for it. he knows how hard it is to leave.
even if he survives the bank job, he doesn't get a happy ending. he'd never get to see the gang safe. all he'd get is front row seats to the implosion of his family, to micah sinking his claws into dutch, to watching them turn their backs on arthur and john. eventually, his illness would've caught up with him and he'd have died with even more regret.
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took a gander into the notes of this post and there's a short conversation between the op and someone who says learning to be loved is impossible when there's no one to love you, and op tries to argue, but it doesn't really work for me. see, the original post was great, but i feel like here op tried to be comforting to someone who needs it, and that sort of blurred the original message. when someone tells you they have no one, i don't think saying "that's not true" is going to help and/or endear them to you lmao.
you don't know their situation. someone who's alone, surrounded by abusive or simply uncaring people, is not going to feel supported by a stranger confidently saying there's a nebulous SOMEONE loving them. because where are they, then? why aren't they helping me if they love me so much? is it my fault for not seeing them and letting them love me? it just doesn't work.
and "you ARE loved" is different from "you WILL be loved" which is also different from "i hope you'll feel loved". two of them can sound obnoxiously confident and even uncaring to someone who feels abandoned and unloved, and one is... idk, i feel it's much kinder. at least it acknowledges the other person's feelings and situation instead of trying to smother them with positivity.
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just thinking thoughts trying to articulate them but re: trans names and even "stereotypical" trans names i just think it's like. luckily it's died down for now at least on here or maybe i just follow people who aren't assholes but seriously what was with that whole era where people just made fun of people's names or tongue in cheek poked fun at each other with a little too much cruelty let alone done by CIS people... like that's so weird. like i do have what i'd call a Stereotypical Trans Name in that it's unusual and "weird" to other people and it's not even actually like, the most out there or individualistic thing ever it's just kind of an old timey name that isn't as popular anymore but i chose it specifically bc it was a "proper" name. and i STILL get shit for it like all the time. and it's just like. why do people CARE...
like. i know you can't make grand sweeping generalisations for a group of people as varied as every trans person on earth but for a lot of us i'd go ahead and say your name as a trans person and even just AS A PERSON... A HUMAN BEING is an important part of who you are and ties into your identity to a degree that differs from person to person. and for a trans person specifically can be one of the only things you have for... yourself, along with pronouns, especially in online spaces/if you're not out/if you are out but struggle for whatever reason to even be given the dignity of being called YOUR OWN NAME, etc. i'm not gonna harp on about that aspect forever bc i think we all know but it's just like, in the face of that annoying tiktok cunts making a list of "every transfem is called [blank] and every transmasc is called [blank]" and there being 6k comments talking about how stupid and unserious it all is is just NASTY. like man shut the fuck up 😭
i don't find it funny like 95% of the time i think it's just like mean ... i also know people could probably read this and be like shut up you're being annoying it's not that deep but like whatever man. i think it's basic decency to not make fun of people for something that's a part of who they are especially if that identity puts them at risk which to be real can affect pretty much everyone other than white cishet christians etc at FAR worse severity/cost and i think instilling the idea that "people's names are fair game" outside of actual tongue in cheek intercommunity good faith joking around is actually Bad. not that i'm actually comparing these things bc it's not 1:1 and has different levels but still i think it comes from the same like... source. the amount of times i've had people use my own name as if it's a gotcha in anon hate is actually astronomical and half of them don't even realise they're BEING literally transphobic is crazy. i mean i've joked about it and i don't take it that seriously but it's still like, transphobic and i hate these people it just also doesn't bother me because i'm a normal person who isn't actually insecure about it and who literally cares what someone's name is. and xfiles girls love me unintentional side effect.
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