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#obikin-wan had PTSD
virahaus · 1 month
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Another little obikin idea of mine,,,,
Modern au where Obi-Wan, after Qui-Gon's death, signed up for the military and made some career out of it too. However after an accident he's discharged with honour and sent home. He's been injured in the incident, so he need a cane to deambulate because of some damage on his left leg (why yes I'm thinking about when Dooku slashed him in AOTC).
He comes back to a home he didn't return to in years and he's wealthy but completely out of it. He has PTSD, be he's seeking treatment so he's getting better even if he's not that thrilled about going to his therapist.
One time, while he was waiting for his appointment at his physical therapist, he bumps into Anakin who's there because he survived a bad car crash and one of his hands had to be amputated and he's seeking physical therapy to get back the strength necessary in his arm to attach a prosthetic.
Their introduction is a bit awkward since Anakin stumbles on Obiwan's cane and if not for Obi-Wan's quick reflexes he would have faceplanted on the floor (not great). Despite this introduction they ofc immediately hit it off, and Anakin offers Obi-Wan to get coffee together while they're waiting for their turn.
Long story short, they are smitten with one another in no time at all and begin dating. They have their ups and downs, bad days and whatnot, but they are very happy together and Obi-Wan, after six months of dating, is already half thinking about proposing. To stop this ridiculous impulse, since it is still too early in their relationship (or is it, Obi-Wan?) He gives Anakin his dog tags to wear.
Anakin never takes them off.
The unfortunate thing is that Obi-Wan now every time he sees Anakin with his dog tags on, maybe even wearing one of his sweaters under, he's constantly horny for his boy.
All of this because I need Obi-Wan to tug Anakin for a kiss using his own dog tags to do it and also,,, tugging on them when he fucks anakin stupid on their bed (they move in together at 9 months. Obi-Wan proposes two weeks later).
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aigoos · 5 months
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WIP Obikin PTSD Fic
The muse has struck, and I have a pissed off Anakin (and I guess a very upset Obi-Wan) giving me the dirtiest looks. Sorry, boys, but I'm writing!
"This is the place.  What do you two think?" Bail asked.
Anakin took in the small two-bedroom house that came with an attached workshop.  They were surrounded by trees, with a small stream nearby.  The nearest town was a few miles away, but this location was quiet and peaceful, just what Anakin and Obi-Wan wanted.
The two were in search of a new home after leaving the Jedi Order.  A few months ago, the Clone Wars had ended with Sheev Palpatine revealing his true self.  Anakin was the one who prevented Order 66 by killing Palpatine in self-defence, with Senators Amidala and Organa releasing their investigations to prevent the Republic from sentencing Anakin with treason.  The whole truth came out, and all Anakin wanted to was forget about the last few years and spend the rest of his life in peace with his lover and partner, Obi-Wan.
That was easier said than done.
With his shields up -- they were always up nowadays -- Anakin forced a smile and said, "Here's a place you can study all the plants you want, Obi-Wan."
"Yes, this place is perfect," Obi-wan mused, bringing up his hand to rub his bearded chin.  It's as if you had this place built for us, Bail.  That workshop will be a great addition for Anakin."
"I'm glad this place meets your liking, my friends," Bail responded with a smile.  "This place is already furnished, and you can move in any time . . . "
Anakin stopped listening, suddenly feeling cold.  His mind flashed back to one of the battles he was in.  Screams of his men getting hurt, their dying moans underlying the sound of blasters.  He could easily remember the smell of burnt flesh and the smell of iron. He saw red, so much red.
He brought his arms over his chest, and swallowed hard against the sudden churning in his stomach.  He closed his eyes tight and took a deep a breath while he chanted in his head, I'm fine.  Obi-Wan is fine.  We're both fine.
"Anakin?"
His eyes flew opened and he reinforced his shields so Obi-Wan couldn't sense his inner turmoil.  He gave another stiff smile.  "I'm fine.  I was just thinking about what I could do in the workshop."  Ignoring the concerned look from his former master, he continued, "I was also wondering if there will be enough space for Threepio and Artoo."
Bail chucked.  "Well, we can expand the workshop if you feel like it is not enough space."
Anakin nodded, but he didn't say anything else.  Instead, he tuned them out and hoped that they could just move in soon and get his life in order.  The coldness from earlier returned, and he again thought, I'm fine.  Obi-Wan is fine.  We're both fine.
It was all he could tell himself over and over again.
adfjkadfkjajlfjklaflkjdsdladf. Okay, let's see how the rest of this fic goes.
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renlyslittlerose · 5 months
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I was tagged by @ragnarlothcat @palfriendpatine66 and @thegrimshapeofyoursmile ❤
1.) How many works do you have on ao3?
108! I went over the 100 works mark during kinktober, but I was in such a fuge at that point that I didn't even realize. Woops! Anyways, that is over the course of twelve years, with some blank spots from 2019 to 2022.
2.) What's your ao3 word count?
1,308,673. That's.... that's a lot of words lol.
3.) What fandoms do you write for?
Currently Star Wars, but I used to write for Mass Effect and A Song of Ice and Fire. I also wrote Resident Evil and FFVII but we won't talk about that.
4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?
Downtown Eastside - By far my most popular fic of any fandom I've written for on AO3. Still can't believe how much traction this fic got, but endlessly pleased and grateful for it.
Cactus Flowers - An A Song of Ice and Fire Cowboy AU haha. I don't even remember writing this, but it still seems to engage readers now and again!
Three Aspects to Loras Tyrell - Another ASOIAF fic. It was just pure smut lol
Soldier's Heart - Another Mass Effect fanfic, exploring my Shepard's struggles upon his survival at the end of ME3. It was a series of therapy sessions between my Shepard and an OC I had created specifically for the story. Lots of themes explored like survivor's guilt and combat PTSD. Still really proud of this one.
Gold in the Air of Summer - And again, an ASOIAF fic from way back in the day. Modern AU, exploring Renly and Loras' relationship during university.
5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do! Or, I try to! I think some get lost in the shuffle because I typically wait a few weeks before I respond. I like to collect a tidy sum and then go through and reply all afternoon 😊
6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Probably one of the FFVII fics we won't be discussing, but I wrote it in response to losing my Canadian grandparents. They passed away one after the other over the course of a few weeks, so I started writing fanfic as a way to cope with the loss and sort through my feelings. But the ending has a major character death so. Not the happiest.
But also, Sacred to the Gods, which was my first Star Wars fanfic I wrote. Has a canon ending with Obi-Wan debating if it'd have been better for him to have killed Anakin and then himself before any of the agony could have happened. Big yikes lol
7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
A lot of them! Right now I'm thinking about the ending to my obikin fic Ain't No Mountain! Can't get much happier than an obikin proposal~
8.) Do you get hate on fics?
Back when I posted on FFnet I did, but that was back in 2007-2011 when the fandom culture had a lot less unspoken rules and niceties. Whenever people say they wish fandom could be like it was in the ~old days, I'm like 'were you guys not on any major website?' Because the hate could get pretty extreme then, too.
9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?
Yeah, a lot of it 😂 I write whatever sort of smut floats my boat, but I think I'm best known for writing emotional and plot-heavy smut? Like, I want the sex to say something, even if it's just a quick one-shot. Whether it's a character introspection, or looks into the dynamic between the two, or says something about the society they're in or the circumstances surrounding them.
I also like to get a little poetic even if it's just about Obi-Wan licking Anakin's asshole~
10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I guess my current fic Of Good Men and Monsters is kiiiiind of a crossover, in that it's set in a Buffy-type universe, with Watchers and Slayers, etc. But it's not a proper crossover as there are no Buffy characters present, nor references to the universe beyond borrowing a few concepts.
11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Yep! But again, back in FFnet days.
12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?
A few, yes! Some of my A Song of Ice and Fire fics were translated into Chinese 🥰
13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
I have not! But I soon will be... 👀
14.) What's your all time favorite ship?
Spuffy, but that doesn't count because I haven't written for it. I am tempted to say obikin only because I am currently obsessed with it, but the other ships I've written for will always hold a special place in my heart.
15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Deine Toten Werden Leben. Another ASOIAF AU. But I don't doubt I'll never finish it - I know I never will. Sorry for those who liked it, but it is the one and only fic thus far I have abandoned.
16.) What are your writing strengths?
Evoking strong imagery, I think? Like, dragging the reader into the setting through descriptions of scents, sounds, textures, lighting, etc. I try and keep it to a minimum, though, as I don't want to bog the reader down.
I also think I'm pretty good at writing emotional scenes between characters
17.) What are your writing weaknesses?
Action scenes, for sure. Also, regarding what I am good at, I can also get bogged down in the details at times. Like we don't need multiple descriptions of how Obi-Wan's tummy doesn't feel good because he's anxious. One mention is good enough lol
18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
My German grammar is not good enough lol
19.) First fandom you wrote for?
FFVII. I was a big Cloud/Zack fan back in 2006~
20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?
Persimmons and Sandalwood. An obikin fic that just came together without a lot of angst or editing afterwards. I'm still pleased with it and don't mind re-reading it. Close second and third is Moonlight Serenade and Soldier's Heart
I tag whoever hasn't been tagged yet! ❤❤❤
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sagegarnish · 2 years
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So I love the IDEA of 0bit¡ne for so many reasons, but at this point in the “Ob¡-Wan Kenob¡” show I feel like Sat¡ne’s existence only hammers in the point that Anak¡n is ✨different✨.
Like… the contrast of Am¡daIa vs Sat¡ne and how both men dealt with their love as padawans was REALLY GOOD.
Anak¡n had feelings for a young leader he and his master were protecting while he was a padawan.
He chose love, chose secrecy, chose attachment.
Ob¡-Wan had feelings for a young leader he and his master were protecting while he was a padawan.
Ob¡-Wan chose the Order, and to let go of his attachment.
Then they showed us the death of both women.
Anak¡n chose fear and hatred… and the dark side.
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Ob¡-Wan chose calm and healing… and stayed in the light.
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His final defeat of Maul wasn’t even vengeful, despite the fact Maul was literally the one who killed his master AND the woman he loved.
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It showed they are very different men.
UNTIL WE GET TO THIS SHOW.
We missed this middle bit where Ob¡-Wan is clearly attached to Anak¡n!
Just as badly as Vad3r is obsessed with Ob¡-Wan.
Like, they’re showing us that Ob¡-Wan cannot rest, he’s got PTSD, he cannot stop thinking about it even before he finds out Ani is alive.
At any rate, we never saw Ob¡-Wan do this with anyone else. This is the first time we’ve actually seen Ob¡-Wan dealing with loss in a “non-Jed¡“ way.
He’s been such a True Jed¡ until now, in all his reactions to grief and loss. Even his momentary lapse of clear rage after Qu¡-Gon was killed passed. He was able to let go.
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So now we can look at how he deals with someone he loved, and then their deaths, and compare the reactions, and I’m like… THE MAN IS UNHINGED.
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And obviously this isn’t ship hate, and I’m not bashing our girls! I wanna be very clear, all ships are good. I’m a multishipper, I’m not into hating.
It’s just wild to me that we can use their past relationships as a pretty reliable gauge for how wildly off the rails these men have gone for eachother.
Oh ALSO?
What a choice to make 0bit¡ne flirting as bickering, and then constantly showing Obikin bickering, like…
Media is so weird for always writing “bickering married couple” trope and then accidentally giving the same dynamic to non-romantic pairings.
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“Oh, we wanted you to read the [teasing arguments with an underlying fondness] as a married couple sexual tension vibe for Couple A, but we also wanted you to read the [teasing arguments with an underlying fondness] as a platonic sibling vibe for Couple B”
Me: IT DIDN’T WORK
ALSO… I can’t tell if it’s just a narrative visual choice or if the showrunners are implying Ob¡-Wan and Anak¡n are LINKED through the Force now? I had thought that was just a Force Dyad thing. But now I’m seriously thinking they are in fact hinting that?
Anyway RIP to my girls, I’m sorry babes, your men are being weird again.
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small-plant-friends · 3 years
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Obi-wan Kenobi survives near rejection, survives his masters death, survives Anakin, survives the clone wars, and even survives Order 66 and a newly named Darth Vader.
But he’s not sure he’ll survive this.
He wakes up in a familiar place. The most familiar place he’s ever had. He’s in the Jedi temple in his old quarters.
The force around him thrums and sings with joy. Such a different feeling from the reality he left behind. The origins of his departure from his own reality completely unknown.
There are people. Everywhere. A small feeling of recognition deep within his mind, but the reason behind the feeling is unknown.
A tall, broad man sporting long grey hair, steps forwards. His hands shake as he reaches for obi-wan’s face. Too numb with confusion to stop the hand. It cups his face, stroking along his cheekbone, and the confusion heightens.
He watches the man open his mouth, words on the verge of escaping. He looks up at the door as it slides open. Pausing a moment obi-wan follows his gaze.
Standing in the doorway is the tall thin figure of Anakin Skywalker. He recognizes him above anyone else. Obi-wan hears the force whisper something about the living. Only remembering those alive in his own reality.
His blood runs cold. Obi-wan could almost feel it stop flowing.
Before anyone had the chance to react to his fear he was pushing the hand away from his cheek and running into the corner across the room. One hand stretched in front of his body ready to defend himself, and the other cupping his stomach, only just starting to swell.
Anakin didn’t advance. Instead he stopped, raising his hands up and backing into the door.
Obi-wan can feel the room was watching him. He feels his breathing quicken. Tears prickle at the corners of his eyes. There is talking around him but his eyes are only trained on the deep clear blue of Anakin’s.
No yellow in sight. No red, no anger, no fear or rage. Just deep blue confused eyes. This Anakin reminding him so much of his lover. So much of his own Anakin.
Then the room goes black.
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binaryeclipse · 2 years
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6 and 21 for the ask game? 💙
Aw, thanks so much for the ask 💗
6. What’s one story/piece of writing that you are the most proud of?
Okay I have three answers for this actually! I'm still very fond of and proud of the scene I had in Light Up the Trenches Where My Heart Lies where Anakin and Mace have a conversation about mental health (and ultimately about healthy relationships) and its the most personal to myself piece of writing I've written. I really wanted to portray a kinder and less villainized Mace Windu but I also wanted to say my piece about Obi-Wan constantly having to be the emotional rock for Anakin in fanfic (which I love, I wouldn't be in obikin if I wanted healthy relationships all the time). I just wanted to provide one fic that plants the seeds for Anakin saving himself, I think there's room for that kind of narrative. I've been in Obi-Wan's position. I have PTSD from it. So I guess I love that part of the story so much because I was saying everything it took me years to realize and work through and wish I could have said.
The second is the dance scene in kick at the darkness (until it bleeds daylight). There's no particular reason asides from the tension and the way I used it to illustrate the way they will.always fit together no matter their circumstances. Anakin and Obi-Wan will always dance together like they are binary suns.
The third is actually a scene from a fic I'm not finished yet. It's a duel between medieval knight Obi-Wan and [redacted] Anakin and I just love the way I framed the fight scene and the way Anakin's emotions just burn through the scene. I want to share it one day but I only will when it is complete.
21. When do you come up with the title for your stories?
Usually at the end but there have been 3 exceptions:
Conjunction was named midway through the fic when I realized I wanted to portray a relationship that appeared close but in reality the two were on different wavelengths.
Kick at the darkness (until it bleeds daylight) came around when I had the 3rd chapter written. I always wanted to use this lyric from Lovers in a Dangerous Time by Bruce Cockburn and I found the fic I wanted to use it in finally.
The fic I mentioned in the previous question has a title! It came before the fic. It's called Knight Errant and I'm playing with all the definitions of Knight and Errant and the term itself in that fic. One day I will finish it.
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treescape · 3 years
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WIP Challenge
WIP Challenge 😁❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍❤😁🤩🤩  Rules: tell us the titles of all the WIPs you are currently working on right now and a little about them. Then tag five other writers.
Thank you so much to @outpastthemoat for the tag! <3 <3 <3
I wasn't kidding the other day when I said I have 36 files in my In Progress folder 😅 So I'm not going to post all of them. I'm leaving out quite a few shorter prompt fills I'm working on, a few I haven’t actually gotten past the daydreaming stage for yet, as well as a few that I really don't know how I'll move forward on.
Details below the cut, since it's long. Please note that some fics are E rated. Fics are divided by pairing (obikin, dinluke, quiobi, and other/gen)
Feel free to ask me about any of these by the way--I love talking about fic!
obikin/vaderwan
eastwest
Anakin was raised a Sith, Obi-Wan a Jedi. Vader is cursed to never be able to show his face until a Jedi comes to love him. After Vader kills his Master the Emperor, he puts out a demand: one of the Jedi must come to him or he will destroy the few who remain.
Obi-Wan, naturally, sacrifices himself.
This is basically a mix of East of the Sun and West of the Moon, Beauty and the Beast, Cupid and Psyche, and Hades and Persephone. I've posted a small snippet on tumblr here.
This will be a longer, chaptered work, which I won't start posting until I've finished game plan.
exhaustion habits
For a prompt for the lines “Come on, now, Master, I couldn’t possibly carry you with more dignity” and “Obi-Wan had known exhaustion with a brutal intimacy for years” from my phone notes prompts. Order 66 doesn’t happen, and the Republic wins the war. Now that the war is over, however, Obi-Wan is so used to running on nothing but fumes that he finds it difficult to sleep if he's anything less than flat out exhausted. Since he still has to run himself ragged before he can rest, he thus keeps falling asleep in the most random places. Anakin is determined to do something about it.
game plan (chapter 2)
The second chapter of my fic in which Anakin was raised a Sith, Obi-Wan a Jedi, and they keep meeting during the Clone Wars. This was meant to be a more lighthearted Vaderwan fic than I usually write and I'm really loving it so far. There will be five chapters total, and I have them all pretty well planned out--I just need to work my way through my writing anxiety and finish them! In this second chapter, Vader has captured Obi-Wan (again) and is taking him back to his ship--but their shuttle has a bit of a malfunction and they're stranded. I've posted two brief snippets on tumblr, here and here.
light of day
The companion piece to dreamfield; Vader finds Obi-Wan on Tatooine, as suggested by my friend Scruffy! I've posted a snippet of this on tumblr here.
in darkness and light
My soulmates AU in which Anakin is raised a Sith and Obi-Wan a Jedi (are you…seeing a pattern here??? 😂) I’ve posted two brief snippet of this on tumblr, here and here! This will be chaptered, and I won’t be starting to post it until after game plan is done.
to have and to hold (part 5)
This is the fifth part of to have and to hold, for a prompt in which Obi-Wan and Anakin first sleep together. My lips are sealed as to the rest.
to have and to hold (part 6)
For a prompt in which Obi-Wan makes a misstep—and Anakin unknowingly comforts him.
to have and to hold (part 7)
For a prompt wanting to know a bit more about Bail and the twins. Obi-Wan learns some information he wishes he didn’t know—because if he doesn’t know it, he can never accidentally share it.
untitled omega!Obi-Wan
This for a prompt that asked for more in the unexceptional timing world! It will be a prequel (or can also be completely standalone). Obi-Wan, after all, has to get pregnant somehow 👀 I've posted a small snippet on tumblr here.
untitled prompt
For a prompt for the line "I'm sorry but.. Who are you?" Obi-Wan and Anakin are undercover. Shenanigans ensue! 👀
dinluke
nightmares (working title)
Din and Luke have just recently gotten together, but Luke never wants to spend the full night with Din. Luke finally confesses to Din that he has nightmares that he’s afraid of disturbing Din with. This is a big of an angstier piece than I normally do for dinluke, delving a bit into the PTSD that both Din and Luke experience.
stars shine down (on us and our love) (chapter 3)
The third chapter of my dinluke romcom, in which Leia hires Luke a bounty hunter to help out at his Jedi academy. In chapter 3, we move back to Luke's point of view the morning after Din first arrives on Yavin IV. I’m quite late getting this one done--I’m sorry! 😣
teach me (to know you) (chapter 2)
I am still planning to write this 😅 It picks up pretty much immediately after chapter 1 and is, uhh, very spicy.
untitled political au
Luke and Din are both senators. Luke was raised in politics, Din didn't even run for office and was elected because so many people put his name as a write in because they love him so much. Din and Luke fall in love around long and grueling committee meetings.
quiobi
all roads lead
Qui-Gon’s gone missing and the Council believes him to be dead. Obi-Wan refuses to believe it—and is determined to find him. I’ve been working on this for almost a year now and am hoping to finish it in the next couple of months!
 beyond the greystone walls
The second part of my QuiObi Witcher AU. In this ‘verse, Qui-Gon is a Witcher who refuses to actually kill monsters, and Obi-Wan is a Sorcerer. In this specific part, Qui-Gon learns that Obi-Wan is being held captive and goes to rescue him—only to learn he’s ruined Obi-Wan’s undercover mission. Whoops.
  legends and stars (chapter 2)
The second chapter of my imperial au, which is a secret santa gift for chibiobiwan. Palpatine came to power about twenty years before he does in canon; Obi-Wan becomes an Imperial officer instead of a Jedi, but keeps hearing rumours about the rebel leader Qui-Gon Jinn. This will be 5 chapters and an epilogue, and my goal is to get it all wrapped up in the next couple of months. The second chapter picks up right where the last one left off, with Obi-Wan having just landed on Tython.
 The Trials and Tribulations of Master Kenobi, Gentleman (chapter 2)
The second chapter of my QuiObi Regency AU! Which I am still working on! I swear! This fic will be four chapters, of which only one is posted. In the first chapter, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan met in the library of their gentleman’s club. Now, it’s time for Obi-Wan to go home to his family estate of Stewjon for the summer. When he arrives, it’s to learn that his family is in a tizzy about their new neighbour, Master Skywalker—whose best friend and advisor is currently staying with him. I wonder who that is.
untitled
This is for a university AU prompt! I adore university AUs! In this one, we have Professor Kenobi--and Qui-Gon, who has gone back to school many years after his first degree to complete a second. Professor Kenobi just wants to finish the conference paper he has to give in a few days. Why are all the books he needs signed out of the library, when he hasn’t even assigned these poets on his syllabus? Who is reading his damn poets? And can he, like...marry them?
other/gen
a beautiful day in the senate
A Clone Wars, Qui-Gon lives AU! This one is Qui-Gon & Ahsoka gen. Qui-Gon has business at the Senate--and why not take his great-grand padawan along with him so they can spend the day together? Alas, their quiet day out turns into a bit of a catastrophe when there’s disaster in the Senate. I’ve posted a brief snippet of this here.
snowblooms
My top secret Codywan fic 👀 It involves books. And slowly falling in love.
untitled
A post-Wild Space Bail & Obi-Wan gen fic which I am super excited about. It’s a 5 times fic—based on a line in the book where Bail thinks of Obi-Wan: “And best of all, I don’t have a single thing he wants. How often do I meet someone who wants nothing from me?” So it’s five times Obi-Wan actually did want something of Bail—but the thinks are things like, he wants Bail to have survived order 66 etc. I just love their friendship so much.
Tagging (with absolutely no pressure to do this!) @tessiete , @acatbyanothername93 , @antheiasilva , @darkisrising , @xeniaraven !!!
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intermundia · 3 years
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hey miss molly i was listening to - dont laugh- mcr's The Ghost of You and guess what ! i'm so far up obikin's ass i can't even be properly emo so picture this: clone wars. the ghost of you music video. my head hasn't been able to picture a whole mindplot in fear of Suffering™️ but just that simple train of thought has me in shambles. "and all the things that you never ever told me, and all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me/and all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me, for all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me" has such war rawness !! and i can't help but notice that ptsd/war themes are under-explored in the obikin community (perhaps i've just never came across such fics, if you have any recs i would greatly appreciate it!!) and i'm the main bitch for brothers-in-arms relationships. anyways here's me being emo lol thx for your time
Bro. Bro. Bruh..
Ouch.
I once saw a video that showed Obi-Wan having PTSD, and it really changed me and how I understand Star Wars:
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Man once you watch the clone wars and care about characters like Aayla Secura and Plo Koon, and understand the bond the Jedi had with their troopers before the chips... watching the footage of Order 66 becomes just excruciatingly painful. Thanks Star Wars!
Anyway, I think that PTSD from the clone wars is touched but often not focused on in obikin, which is a shame. Brothers-in-arms is indeed one of the best things about the ship—I was brought to the ship by fanart of Anakin tending to Obi-Wan’s wounds in the style of Achilles tending to Patroclus, so it’s pretty fundamental to my understanding of their relationship.
One of my biggest frustrations with loving a children’s television show is that they show traumatic experiences and then never dip into the character’s processing of those events afterward. We don’t see the impact on the characters and it doesn’t seem to really impact their future decision making. I guess that’s what fic is for haha
I personally dipped into it with Unwrap, Wrap because it seemed to me that surely, SURELY, it would be traumatic to lead good men to be cut down by machines over and over and over. I know there are many war stories, idk how PTSD-related but they are about the war.. like With a Warm and Tender Hand or maybe Mud or Within Limits (it’s been awhile since since I read them but I remember they were war fic lol).
There are good post Order 66 stories, like A Mouthful of Ash that deal with PTSD. But you’re right that lots of the good good stuff with PTSD isn’t obikin tbh. There’s a series I love when Obi-Wan goes back in time and trains himself; the older version is very impacted by the events of the clone wars.
Thanks for the feels, anon!
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//The reason I like to make these lists of related quotes from throughout Star Wars canon is because I’m constantly noticing patterns and recurring themes, and how they fall right in line with or give further context for the sequel trilogy, and can often be used to either back up ST/post-ST discussion or speculation (e.g. the reformed Jedi faith with not return to the practice of permanently separating infants and children from their families, bc canon has framed that negatively on multiple occasions), or to negate or disprove takes that have no business being part of ST discussion in the first place (e.g. exile is framed very negatively all up and through canon).
So that being said, this is another pattern/commonality I noticed: Anakin’s and Ben’s falls to darkness are tragedies not just in themselves, but also because they were or were felt to be falls—failures—on the part of every person in their lives, as well. Every person who loved and/or cared about them felt some level of direct or indirect culpability, and then they have to live with that and be haunted by or reminded of it all the time. Whether through nightmares, nagging guilt or shame, or shoulda-coulda-wouldas about how things might have gone differently.
Of course, the biggest non-Palpatine player in Anakin’s fall was Obi-Wan, but what really made this click for me was Ahsoka, and her entry in Women of the Galaxy. Referring to the “Twilight of the Apprentice” episodes of Star Wars Rebels—
“…she encounters Darth Vader, and finally learns the devastating truth about Anakin’s transformation and turn to the dark side. Ahsoka feels partly responsible for his downfall, having left years earlier, and confronts her conscience when his helmet is slashed in an epic battle, revealing Anakin’s face beneath Vader’s mask. She vows not to leave him again, but it’s too late.”
And I’m like, Damn, she wasn’t even there when everything went down, nor was she involved in anything that happened, and she still felt guilty. But of course, the sad irony is that that’s exactly why she felt guilty—because she left Anakin behind when she left the Order. Now, she had every reason and right to leave, but even then she felt bad about leaving Anakin, especially since he was the only one who believed and stood up for her when that whole bs happened. And then years later she feels terrible about it all over again, for a much worse reason. She was probably thinking along the lines of, ‘I knew Anakin was a lot like me, and he also had issues with the Order, but I left him anyway, and then this happened to him. Which is why she had that guilt-vision of Anakin saying:
“Ahsoka, why did you leave? Where were you when I needed you? …You were selfish. You abandoned me! You failed me! Do you know what I’ve become?”
So if she could feel this way, while not actually being involved in Anakin’s fall at all (aside from the Council’s treatment of her leading to her departure being another big red mark against the Order for him), then it’s no wonder everyone who was involved accepts some level of responsibility.
Even Qui-Gon—long-dead, Force ghost Qui-Gon—accepted a measure of blame. Mainly through Obi-Wan, and realizing that maybe it wasn’t the best idea to make his not even knighted yet Padawan take on this kid as a death bed promise. He and Obi even had a back-and-forth about their respective culpability for “Vader” in ‘Master and Apprentice’ in FACPOV.
 QG: “‘…I’m the one who failed you.’ ‘Failed me?’ They have never spoken of this, not once in all Qui-Gon’s journeys into the mortal realm to commune with him. This is primarily because Qui-Gon thought his mistakes so wretched, so obvious, that Obi-Wan wanted to spare him any discussion of it. …‘You weren’t ready to be a Jedi Master,’ Qui-Gon admits. ‘You hadn’t even been knighted when I forced you to promise to train Anakin. Teaching a student so powerful, so old, so unused to our ways…that might’ve been beyond the reach of the greatest of us. To lay that burden at your feet when you were hardly more than a boy—' ‘Anakin became a Jedi Knight,’ Obi-Wan interjects, a thread of steel in his voice. ‘He served valiantly in the Clone Wars. His fall to darkness was more his choice than anyone else’s failure. Yes, I bear some responsibility—and perhaps you do, too—but Anakin had the training and the wisdom to choose a better path. He did not.’ All true. None of it any absolution for Qui-Gon’s own mistakes.”  
Speaking of Obi-Wan, his feelings about Anakin’s fall are pretty fascinating to follow throughout the canon, because they’re very varied, but also consistent in a way (as well as full of Obikin angst). Which makes sense, him being as deeply and emotionally connected to Anakin as he is. He goes from being angry at Anakin to shamed/haunted by his fall to missing Anakin to making himself believe that Anakin is dead and only Vader remains, and everything in between and back again.
“I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed you.”  –-RotS
“‘I am firmly convinced that Anakin can do anything. Except betray a friend. What we have done to him today… …I don’t think he will ever trust us again.’ He found his eyes turning unaccountably hot, and his vision swam with unshed tears. ‘And I’m not entirely sure he should.’”
“He had argued for Anakin, made excuses, covered for him again and again and again; all the while this attachment he denied even feeling had blinded him to the dark path his best friend walked.”
“I loved you, but I could not save you.” –-RotS novel
“He was in charge of Anakin, and it happened despite him. It’s quite a heavy weight to carry.”  –-Ewan McGregor, RotS commentary
“Images flickered across his eyes. …Anakin, burning on the volcanic slopes of Mustafar, blaming him for everything that had gone wrong. And it had all gone so wrong.”
“He’d gone to Shmi Skywalker’s grave to apologize for losing her son. …Qui-Gon had made her a promise and Obi-Wan hadn’t been able to keep it. As he stood there, looking at the stone, he felt an even deeper shame. Qui-Gon had left her there a slave, and Obi-Wan had done everything in his power to prevent Anakin’s return.”
“Something caught his attention, one of the few pieces of his old life that he’d taken with him to his desert solitude. Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber. It was all that was left of the man who had been, often simultaneously, Obi-Wan’s greatest annoyance, his brother, and his best friend. If any other part of Anakin had survived, it was lost to evil and darkness. Obi-Wan couldn’t save him any more than he could save any Jedi who was still at large in the galaxy…”  ---Ahsoka novel
“Nineteen years. Nineteen years since I left him to die. Nineteen years of reliving his corruption every night in my dreams.” (frickin PTSD nightmares!)
“The voice is unrecognizable. How little of my friend is left? …No. My friend is dead, of that I am certain. The thing in front of me is not Anakin Skywalker.”
“I cannot use his real name. It would undo me, even after all this time, catching in my throat.”
“I know why I’m here, why I’m reliving this moment time and time again. This was when I failed Luke, just as I failed his father.”  ---‘Time of Death’, FACPOV
In both Revenge of the Sith and its novelization, Yoda mentions that he failed the Jedi Order. But the thing I love about his FACPOV story, ‘There Is Another’, is that he also talks specifically about Anakin. And he refers to him as Anakin, not Vader.
“…Yoda felt Obi-Wan grow suddenly stronger, and stronger, and stronger, and then move in a quick burst into the netherworld of the Force. And Yoda felt Anakin fall even more deeply into painful loneliness—a loneliness so terrible that Yoda almost felt pity for him. He almost wished he could speak to him, to tell him that he needn’t be lonely after all. There were… …If only what had happened to Anakin had not been shadowed and hidden from them all…No. That was not true. If only he had perceived the paths that Anakin was beginning to follow. It was his own failing.”
“And he had failed. He had not seen the paths the young Padawan Anakin had begun to take.”
So that about sums up, “Everyone felt shitty about Anakin’s fall and wished they’d done something to prevent it”. Now onto his grandson.
With Luke being the ST’s Obi-Wan 2.0, he’s clearly the biggest non-Snoke player in Ben’s turn. But he certainly has Obi-Wan beat by a long shot, as his failure with Ben and his part in the creation of “Kylo Ren” was direct and egregious as hell. Like, everything could’ve turned out so differently if he’d literally just not taken a weapon with him into Ben’s hut that night, I’m… Anyway, Ben’s family:
“I just never should have sent him away, that’s when I lost him.”  ---TFA
“He prayed someday his son would forgive him in turn.”  ---TFA junior novel
“I see things that are not yet to be. …worst of all, Luke, as I am now, an old man, his face creased, his eyes haunted. He’s cut off from those who love him, consumed by regret and sorrow.”  ---'Time of Death’, FACPOV
“…in my hubris, I thought I could train him… By the time I realized I was no match for the darkness rising in him, it was too late. …Leia blamed Snoke, but it was me. I failed.”
“And I was left with shame and with consequence. And the last thing I saw were the eyes of a frightened boy whose master had failed him.”
“I failed you, Ben. I’m sorry.”  ---TLJ
“…it was I who broke that family. I failed.”
“Once, Luke had thought he would be the one who might mend what was broken in Kylo. Later, he had blamed himself for the damage.”  ---TLJ novel
[Interesting “inverse Anakin” note: All Anakin’s people were not blood relatives (only blood relative he previously had was his mom and she died; if she’d still been alive ‘Vader’ wouldn’t have happened 🙃), while all Ben’s people were his blood relatives]
The fandom and the characters themselves can debate till the cows come home about who is or isn’t responsible for what and how much when it comes to Anakin’s and Ben’s turns to the dark (Palpatine and Snoke are unequivocally the most responsible tho, just to keep it 100), but my point is that they all feel like they contributed. They all believe that, if only, they had done something differently or seen something sooner, it all could’ve been prevented. Anakin and Ben being corrupted and falling to the dark side isn’t just like, So that’s a thing that happened, oh well, and everyone skippidy-do’s along with their lives. Everyone who was close to Anakin and Ben was devastated, and it’s a major loss that they grieve, and they all feel or accept some level of fault in the whole thing, they feel that it’s partly on them. Because Anakin and Ben were so loved before everything went so wrong---and were still loved after—but everything went so wrong despite the love. That’s a big part of what makes it so sad, and what makes them tragic figures.
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