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novelmonger · 9 months

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Hiya! It's Windmill from Discord! Saw the prompt meme - could you do Obi-Wan and Qui-Gonn with "I love you. You know that, right?" If you're up for it! Thanks <3

Hi Windmill!

Let Me Count the Ways ask game

(Note that this follows the canon of the Jedi Apprentice books - set right after #8, The Day of Reckoning - but I tried to make it still understandable for those who haven't read them.)

Obi-Wan had already powered down the lights in his room in the Temple and lain down on his sleep-couch when someone knocked on his door. He'd felt a pulse in the Force a moment before, and instantly knew the person on the other side of the door was Qui-Gon.

Strange. They'd seen each other not long ago, for a time of meditation in the Room of a Thousand Fountains. And they were due for a training exercise at 0600.

Slowly, Obi-Wan sat up, pushing aside his blanket. “Enter,” he said, reaching over to turn on a lamp.

The door slid open and Qui-Gon stepped inside. “I apologize for disturbing your rest,” he said stiffly.

Obi-Wan shook his head, shifting to sit cross-legged on top of his sleep-couch. “I wasn't asleep.”

Qui-Gon nodded, then paced back and forth across the small space, hands clasped behind his back. He'd left his cloak behind, Obi-Wan noticed, and his dark hair fell loose about his shoulders. It was as though he'd been in the process of turning in for the night, then realized he'd forgotten something and come directly here.

Tentatively, Obi-Wan quested out towards him in the Force. Their bond had been damaged, fractured, since everything that had happened on Melida/Daan. They were in the process of mending it, and their unofficial mission together on Telos had taken them a good distance down that path, but Obi-Wan knew it would still take a long time before they could restore the deep trust that had once existed between them.

Qui-Gon paused, gazing down at the workbench where Obi-Wan had left his lightsaber after cleaning it moments ago. As he stood there, an answering thread in the Force touched Obi-Wan's, like fingertips brushing against each other. Obi-Wan was surprised at how hesitant it felt as well.

“Tahl reminded me today,” Qui-Gon said slowly, absently straightening the tools on the workbench, “that we cannot simply return to the way things once were. And nor should we. We are not the same as when we first met.”

“Master Yoda said something similar to me,” Obi-Wan said with a wry smile. “'Expect not to tread the same path twice, for a path through sand it is, washed away by the tide.'”

Qui-Gon snorted, but he looked amused rather than annoyed. “And Tahl spoke to me of pottery. We're being conspired against by poets.”

Obi-Wan grinned, just as Qui-Gon glanced up with a twinkle in his eye. Their gazes connected for only a moment, but it was one of those moments Obi-Wan had learned to prize above all else in recent days. It was a moment that reassured him that, however else their relationship might change going forward, the bond between them was still intact.

After a moment of silence, Qui-Gon left the workbench and sat down at the foot of the sleep-couch. There was a deliberate quality to his movements, as though he were about to say something of vital importance. Obi-Wan found himself straightening attentively. This was why Qui-Gon was here.

“Tahl also counseled me to be more open with you, Obi-Wan. Too often, I fall into the trap of thinking that, because I can see a path forward, you will also see it and agree with me.” He shook his head. “It is dangerous when a master forgets that his apprentice is also a being with wisdom to contribute.”

“But I was wrong!” Obi-Wan blurted out, his hands curling into fists on his knees as shame pooled in his gut—just as it did every time he thought of that day. “I was wrong to...to defy you, and steal the ship, and....”

“Yes.” Qui-Gon reached out a hand, settling it on Obi-Wan's shoulder. “You were wrong. And so was I, Padawan. I was the one who put you in a position where you felt such actions were necessary. But perhaps, had we taken the time to communicate more openly...some of that could have been prevented. You are my apprentice, Obi-Wan. Not my servant. We are meant to be a team.”

The warm, comforting weight of Qui-Gon's hand on his shoulder somehow made the shame break apart and fade away into nothing, like mist on a warm morning. Obi-Wan looked into those wise blue eyes, full of the esteem and respect he'd been afraid he would never see again. So unlike that day on Melida/Daan when they had turned icy and forbidding, as Qui-Gon had held out his hand for Obi-Wan to give up his lightsaber.

Confusion. Betrayal. Outrage. That was what they'd both been feeling, on the day their bond had shattered. Neither of them had been able to understand the other's decisions, and neither had been willing to explain or ask further questions. They had each known they were right, and the very thought that the one closest to them could possibly disagree was unfathomable.

And that had made their relationship brittle, too easily broken. Maybe this was what Qui-Gon had been talking about, when he'd said on Telos that he looked forward to their next disagreement. If they argued, that meant they both knew they weren't of the same mind, and they could work together towards a solution. It didn't have to mean they would abandon each other again.

“I'll try to live up to that,” Obi-Wan said quietly, as Qui-Gon's hand slipped from his shoulder. “I want to earn your trust again. I want to be worthy of it.”

Qui-Gon sat quietly for a moment, then got to his feet, his back to Obi-Wan. At first, Obi-Wan didn't think he would say anything, but finally he said, in the softest voice he'd ever heard from him, “I love you, Obi-Wan. You know that, right?”

Obi-Wan stared at him. “I...yes. Yes, I know.”

It wasn't exactly that Jedi didn't speak of love. Attachment was forbidden, but the entire Order was built on a foundation of love—the selfless kind of love that led to thousands of beings devoting their entire lives to aiding strangers across the galaxy. And of course every Jedi had special affection for their closest friends and teachers, not to mention the deeper-than-blood bond between Master and Padawan.

But Qui-Gon had never been one to speak openly of his feelings. His first thought was always for the mission, or for a lesson to pass on to Obi-Wan. He was foremost a Jedi Knight, and secondly a teacher—as it should be. But underneath it all, he was still a man. A man with emotions and cares and, yes, affections too.

Of all people, Obi-Wan shouldn't have been surprised to see evidence of that. He had seen evidence of that, plenty of times before. But it was still strange to hear Qui-Gon speak of it so bluntly.

Qui-Gon was almost at the door by the time Obi-Wan realized he was leaving. Apparently, he'd said what he'd come here to say. “Master, wait!” Obi-Wan sprang to his feet.

Pausing with his hand on the door, Qui-Gon looked over his shoulder.

Nervously, Obi-Wan swallowed hard. He'd never said this to anyone, but when he instinctively reached out to the Force, it rang with the chimes of a hundred golden bells in his heart, and he knew it was the right thing to say. “I love you too, Qui-Gon. I always have. Even then.”

Even when he was angry and hurt. Even when they were shouting at each other. Even when Qui-Gon left him on a war-torn planet. Even when their connection in the Force frayed and snapped, and it seemed pointless to hope they could regain even a fraction of what they'd once had.

Though Qui-Gon didn't move, it felt to Obi-Wan as if he had reached out his hand and grasped his. The Force wrapped around both of them like a warm blanket, and Obi-Wan found himself aware of Qui-Gon's breathing and heartbeat, in a way that normally didn't happen except sometimes in the heat of battle, when all of their focus centered on their movements synchronizing and complementing each other.

For a moment, Obi-Wan thought he caught a glimpse of the future. All of his worries about whether they could mend the rift between them faded away, because he knew they would be together. Perhaps not always—eventually, Obi-Wan would grow up and leave Qui-Gon's side. One day, he would become a Jedi Knight. One day, he would take on a Padawan of his own.

But nothing would come between them like this again. Not really.

“Yes, my Padawan,” Qui-Gon murmured, turning once more to the door. “I know.”

#ask and you shall receive #windmilltothestars #let me count the ways #ask games #star wars #jedi apprentice #obi-wan kenobi #qui-gon jinn #ughghghghg i love these two so much you have no idea ;A;#but believe it or not this is my first time actually writing them #i desperately hope they weren't too ooc #it's just...the prompt wasn't exactly something you'd normally hear them say you know? ^^'#so i had to kind of shove them out of their comfort zone to get them to say it

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hellowkatey · 1 year

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duty and sacrifice

Summary: Obi-Wan's first night back at the Temple after Melida-Daan. Angstpril day 4: "why did you leave?"

Obi-Wan wasn’t asleep for long before being lulled awake by the bed beneath him shifting.

(Or rather, the couch. He had only been back at the Temple for a few hours and didn’t feel comfortable reclaiming his old room. Not while he was on probation.)

The living room was dark, but Coruscant’s nightlife brought enough of a blue-tinted glow to illuminate the outline of a familiar Jedi Master perched on the edge of the cushion near Obi-Wan’s feet.

“M’ster Jinn?” Obi-Wan muttered while wiping away the sleep. For the first time since they arrived back from Melida-Daan, Qui-Gon made eye contact with the boy.

“Why did you leave?” the question was not laced with bitterness or accusation like Obi-Wan would have expected it to be. It was soft. Uttered with the cautious cadence of someone who laid awake choosing each word with careful intention.

Even more surprising was the bitterness that Obi-Wan felt. His gut reaction was to respond with sarcasm. “You should know why. You were there,” felt favorable on his tongue. “Technically it was you who left me,” followed close behind.

Despite the small truths they harbored, neither was allowed to be spoken into existence. Obi-Wan had spent his own sleepless nights in deep thought over the morality of it all and knew exactly his answer.

“I didn’t leave,” he said, ”I stayed.”

Qui-Gon hummed with mild interest. “Is there a difference?”

“Well, yes. Staying meant fulfilling my duty. Leaving meant walking away from it.”

“So you believe your duty was to the Young?”

Obi-Wan nodded. “I know it was.”

“How?”

“Because I could feel it in the Force, Master Qui-Gon.”

Qui-Gon looked away again.

“So what do you think I chose?”

“What?”

They were staring at one another again, but Qui-Gon’s gaze had hardened again. “Did I stay? Or leave?”

That was the question. The dilemma the Temple was buzzing about. The critical decision the Council had to make a verdict on. Was Qui-Gon’s primary duty to the Jedi and his injured friend, or to his padawan that was making rather radical decisions a few months into his apprenticeship?

The problem with the question was there wasn’t a clear answer. Even Obi-Wan fluctuated his positions. He understands the reasons that Qui-Gon had to return. He knows he didn’t exactly give his Master a choice. Time was running out. Obi-Wan was stubborn and Qui-Gon— whether he was willing to admit it or not— was scared.

“I think you did what you thought was right.”

“Leaving you on Melida-Daan was right?” Qui-Gon whispered. His tone was too neutral for Obi-Wan to deduce if he was being sarcastic or genuine. No matter the intention, Obi-Wan shook his head with matching neutrality.

“No. But staying with Master Tahl was,” The couch shifted with Master Jinn’s shift in weight. His lip twitched a few times as it struggled to decide which emotion would surface. When the silence started to become uncomfortable, Obi-Wan cleared his throat and fiddled with the seam of the blanket that was not there when he fell asleep. “How is Master Tahl, by the way.”

It took Qui-Gon a moment to snap out of his daze. “She’s doing… better. It’s been a long road since… well, I’ll let her tell you the story.”

Obi-Wan swallowed the lump in his throat. He had assumed the worst when the days began to turn to weeks and Qui-Gon hadn’t turned back up on Melida-Daan. Though he relinquished his apprenticeship by not getting on the ship, he assumed— he hoped— his master would return. When he didn’t, Obi-Wan prayed it wasn’t mourning that kept Qui-Gon from finding him.

Learning Master Tahl was alive was a relief.

Realizing Qui-Gon did not come until Obi-Wan pleaded for assistance sent a new wave of dismay through his mind.

“It’s late,” Qui-Gon said, even though it was he who awoke Obi-Wan in the middle of the night. “Get some sleep, Obi-Wan.”

And then he was gone.

Obi-Wan settled back down under the blanket that usually rests on the end of Qui-Gon’s bed. It smelled like the laundry detergent used in the Temple washroom and Qui-Gon. Home wrapped around him like the hug of a stranger. His senses were torn between the comfort of familiarity and the dread of having to let it go all over again.

Despite his physical exhaustion, sleep refused him.

#angstpril 2023 #day 4 #why did you leave?#fic #star wars #jedi apprentice #melida-daan #obi-wan #qui-gon

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agoddamn · 6 months

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If I were to rewrite the whole Melida/Daan thing to be less Silly I'd want to hone in on Qui-Gon's sin as overconfidence.

Same basic scenario works fine--faction a versus faction b with faction c becoming the real problem-solvers. Injured Tahl, cue moral dilemma.

Now, consider this: what if Obi-Wan had volunteered to stay until Qui-Gon could get Tahl medical help? Just to hold down the fort for one more day until the Jedi can re-assess the situation and send some more appropriate help.

Things degenerate, of course, and instead of "I'll be back tomorrow" they're separated for months. All the drama (or roughly equivalent drama) happens.

That puts us in a situation where Qui-Gon hasn't done something as blatantly indefensible as trashing Obi-Wan in a baby war zone. He allowed sentiment to override his reason and it sets up an inversion of their relationship in The Phantom Menace. In TPM, Qui-Gon is reluctant to let Obi-Wan go in part because in the past he was too eager to push Obi-Wan to independence.

Obi-Wan volunteers to stay behind because he's afraid for Tahl more than because he thinks he can run the op solo, of course, so both him and Qui-Gon are making bad decisions on account of Attachment. You can even work in Obi-Wan's traditional low self-esteem with him being all "I made a mistake, too!" and not quite getting that a teenager coming up with a bad idea has different weight to it than an adult making that bad idea reality.

"I will be a rebel and stick my Padawan on his first solo mission completely unplanned" also seems more in line with Qui-Gon's maverick-type character than the "ur fired for ignoring my orders >:(" vibe of the original story. It also gives some context for the rest of the Order to be all "dude idk about this man's decision-making re: children" in TPM without the other adult characters implicitly legitimizing Qui-Gon's abandonment. Cos that's one of the things that really bugs me about the original story--the situation is so extreme and over-the-top that every character who even vaguely interacts with it comes out looking worse. Qui-Gon is a puppy-kicking cartoonishly evil stepfather, but no character can put a stop to it because That's The Plot.

#donut steele squad

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ask-the-almighty-google · 2 years

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God. What I wouldn’t give for a time travel fix-it in which, at the moment they both die, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan’s consciousnesses are transported into their younger bodies like. On the ship ride to Bandomeer just before all the crazy goes down with pirates and draigons.

I want so, so badly to see Obi-Wan trying to remember to act like a child and for Qui-Gon to try and remember that he doesn’t like being responsible for children (especially when it happens to be his favorite child).

I want them to do an increasingly ridiculous Miraculous Ladybug level of trying to hide the fact they’ve time traveled from one another but they keep making mistakes and are so caught up in being secretive they never notice the other person slipping up and put the pieces together.

I want Qui-Gon to catch Obi-Wan doing Alchakas and being much more proficient with Soresu than he should be. I want Obi-Wan to inexplicably know Qui-Gon’s preferred brand of tea and how much honey he puts in it. I want Qui-Gon to get caught doing something he never would have considered doing until later in the relationship when they were very comfortable being Master and Padawan and knowing seemingly out of the blue Obi-Wan’s favorite fruit tart.

I want them to both end up on Melida/Daan and have an existential PTSD crisis. I want Obi-Wan to scold Qui-Gon for the sheer amount of injuries he sustains with a mentor-like tone, to be a little too comfortable with the High Council, to be too good at strategy planning for his age. I want Qui-Gon to notice this and be so busy worrying about showing his affections for Tahl too early on to connect the dots.

I want them to fall into step in old habits and fighting styles far too quickly and for it to trip them up because they shouldn’t be there yet. For Obi-Wan to be reading books waaaaay above what his reading level should be and for him to have trouble being a Padawan again because he was a Master on the High Council, for him to be haunted by Order 66 and what he knows will happen if he fails, and I want them both to have nightmares of things to come (Tahl’s Death, Qui-Gon’s death, Order 66, etc).

In short, I want them to be the idiots we know and love while still also being smart, because on their own they’re brilliant but they lose all collective brain cells when paired together.

—————

UPDATE July 19th 2022:

Whoops my hand slipped several times-

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40419903

#star wars au #star wars #obi wan kenobi #qui gon jinn #jedi apprentice #time travel fix it #time travel shenanigans

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shadowmaat · 5 months

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Mischief and Misinformation, part 2

(Part 1)

"Knight Kenobi!"

Obi-Wan turned to see a grinning Kit Fisto bearing down on him. His fellow Knight was a few years ahead of him in classes, and there were whispers he might be on track for the Council someday.

"Kit, I've been a Knight for two years, now," he smiled. "Throwing my title at me is getting a little old."

Kit laughed. "Says you!" He clapped a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. "Do you have time for a spar? Or do your Knightly duties call you away from your resounding defeat?"

"You wish, Fisto!" Chuckling, he glanced at his chrono. Anakin would be in classes for another two hours, which should leave him plenty of time.

"I think I have enough time to show an old man the dangers of hubris!"

"Old man!" Kit clutched his chest, bare beneath his outer robe. "I think you meant handsome! Or clever. Or-"

"Save that energy for the salle, Kit." Obi-Wan winked. "You're going to need it."

After working out the rules and going through their warmup stretches, they launched into the spar without too much preamble.

Kit's style was flashy, which made for a good distraction to the power behind the showmanship. He also had a more fluid sense of movement, which was something Obi-Wan found common among the aquatic and amphibious species.

They traded good-natured barbs as well as saber strikes, but then Kit seemed to shift gears.

"I wanted to say how sorry I was about what happened to you on Melidaan," he said, leaping over him to attempt a slash at his back.

Obi-Wan blocked it, frowning. "What?"

Had he been offworld recently? A few smaller mission, but nothing dangerous, not with Ani to consider. The name did ring a vague bell, though. He tried a leg sweep, which Kit avoided by flipping up to the wall and launching himself in another direction.

"I know Master Jinn was a highly-respectable Master, and his loss still ripples through the Temple-"

Kit reversed direction, scored a tap against Obi-Wan's arm, and got a tap of his own for his effort.

'-but leaving you alone in a war zone for a year is unconscionable!"

"What?" Obi-Wan repeated, blocking another swing. "What war zone? Wait- Melidaan..." Memory started to bubble forth, along with an uneasy sense of déjà vu.

"Have you been in so many wars you can't remember?"

Kit's tone should have been teasing, but there was a degree of worry mixed in as well.

"No, I remember." He hissed as Kit got in another strike on his leg. "But Melidaan... Qui-Gon didn't abandon me there, certainly not for a year. We were there maybe a tenday, and Qui-Gon remained in charge of the mission until it was safe for us to leave."

Between storms and bombing, there hadn't been a way off the planet. Qui-Gon's attempts at mediation had failed. Obi-Wan had done what he could for the victims of both sides- including a group of children- but in the end, and with Master Tahl's condition worsening, they'd taken the first opportunity to leave and dump the problem back in the Senate's lap.

"I'm relieved to hear that."

Kit made a move Obi-Wan couldn't quite track and scored a final hit to his shoulder.

"Solah." Disengaging his blade he rubbed his shoulder. "Where did you read about the Melidaan mission? This isn't the first time someone's come to me with a spacer tale version of my own life."

It was Kit's turn to frown. "The mission archives. I heard about-"

Obi-Wan's comm went off. It was Master Bear, Ani's ropework instructor.

"Ani threw up all over the nets and has been taken to the healer," the gruff voice of the Harchian Master said. "You'd best see to him."

The comm clicked off and Obi-Wan swore under his breath. The cafeteria had been serving custard yesterday and he'd bet his lightsaber that Ani's vomit was primarily blue.

Kit shook his head, rattling the bands on his ahwey. "This is why I'm never taking on a padawan," he said. "Go see to Ani. We can finish catching up later."

"Yes," Obi-Wan said, already striding for the exit. "I'd like to know what else the mission archives have to say about me."

As the doors closed he could hear Kit saying, "You aren't the only one."

#jedimindfic #Obi-Wan Kenobi #Kit Fisto

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cerulianvermillion · 10 months

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Jedi culture is so fascinating... I'd love a post-war everything is okay AU where we get a taste of Jedi culture. Not the clone wars-era jedi culture that we know of...but actual jedi culture. Like the one obi-wan grew up with, something ahsoka and even anakin never got to experience because of the war. Like the ones we see in the books about obi-wans padawan years, of course, combining canon and legends in a way that makes sense- maybe we can have the younger ones of the disaster lineage learn a bit about Tahl, more Tahl is always a good idea. Maybe we can delve into Mace and Qui-gon's years of padawanship and being initiates- or maybe even old jedi culture, the one Yoda is familiar with.

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deniigi · 1 year

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what does qui gon do for Fun?

Horticulture.

Star gazing.

Minor arson (when he can get away with it).

Teaching his padawans force-tricks.

Long walks into the middle of cursed places.

Writing books and articles (academic dirtbag behavior).

Moving Obi-Wan's things 1 inch to the left or right.

Talking to Tahl (dead or alive).

#fic #qui-gon jinn

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tunglo · 2 years

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SW Book Index - Jude Watson

AKA overviews of what happens (that I care about... so anything Obikin-centric), and links to the bits I wanted to save because I thought they’d make good fic / meta material.

Jedi Apprentice - the adventures of Baby-Wan and Master Qui-Gon Jinn.

These are mostly just Obi-Wan angsting about what a terrible Padawan he is. Qui-Gon does little to help him deal with this, tbh, and there are many moments where you’re kind of left astounded the Jedi keep putting kids in his care..

★ Jedi Apprentice #2: The Dark Rival - May 1999. Obi-Wan is sent to Bandomeer to join the Agricorps. Qui-Gon’s former Padawan Xantaos arranges for his kidnap and he is forced into slavery before Qui-Gon saves him and reluctantly takes him on as his Padawan.

★ Jedi Apprentice #3: The Hidden Past - August 1999. The saga of the river stone begins!! They meet back up with Obi-Wan’s friend Guerra and help bring peace to Phindar, but not before Obi-Wan is almost mind-wiped. He manages to save his memories with the help of the river stone Qui-Gon Jinn gave him for his super special 13th Name Day that Qui-Gon had forgotten about until the last possible moment.

★ Jedi Apprentice #4: The Mark of the Crown - October 1999. Qui-Gon goes off grid for a couple of weeks and leaves Obi-Wan to it. Even though his faith in Obi-Wan’s abilities is actually kind of limited and Obi-Wan makes no effort to hide how very much he doesn’t want to have to lie and sneak around for him… Then Obi-Wan thinks he makes a friend - but it turns out Qui-Gon’s suspicions were right and the other kid was a spy. :(

★ Jedi Apprentice #5: The Defenders of the Dead - December 1999. On a mission to Melida/Daan Obi-Wan chooses to stay and fight for what he believes is right with a group of young rebels. Qui-Gon warns him that if he stays he will no longer be a Jedi but Obi-Wan responds: "I have found something here more important than the Jedi code,” Obi-Wan said slowly. “Something not only worth fighting for, but worth dying for.” ... Obi-Wan had hurt him. He longed to take the words back. He could not. They had been said. He had meant them.

★ Jedi Apprentice #6: The Uncertain Path - February 2000. This one made me incandescent with rage! Because, on the one hand this is a kids’ book. Obviously the kids having agency is the whole point. On the other. WTF. WTAF. Qui-Gon has left 13 year old Obi-Wan in an active warzone, then doesn’t bother to tell anyone. He’s just taking part in a Temple exercise and wondering idly if Bruck Chun wants to be his new Padawan. When Yoda criticises this: ‘Qui-Gon stared stonily ahead. He had not expected this rebuke from Yoda.’

★ Jedi Apprentice #7: The Captive Temple - April 2000. Xanatos sways Obi-Wan’s rival, Bruck Chun, to help him attack the Temple. Obi-Wan wants to offer more help, but he is not technically a Jedi because of his actions on Melida/Daan: ‘He did not think this day could get any worse. Now it had. In the eyes of the Council, he could do nothing right. And in Qui-Gon’s eyes, he was worth nothing at all.’ In the end Obi-Wan fights Bruck to save Bant, but though he tries to help him, Bruck accidentally falls and dies.

★ Jedi Apprentice Special Edition: Deceptions - July 2001. Still being punished for Melida/Daan, Obi-Wan is struggling with his guilt and grief over Bruck Chun, and the fact Chun’s influential father is having him put on trial for the other boy’s death. Qui-Gon is too busy with Tahl to take much notice: ‘It is not all I need! Obi-Wan wanted to cry. He needed his Master’s presence.’ The second half of the book is when Obi-Wan is Anakin’s Master and has lots of interesting insight -

Obi-Wan seems so much younger than Anakin at 13. There’s this one line - ’Anakin pitched his voice high. He had an ability to seem younger than he was’ - that kind of sums it up for me. Anakin knows exactly what he’s doing, how to portray the front he wants, etc. Obi-Wan recognises this to some extent, eg. seeking out Anakin’s opinions and perceptions of people as ‘more astute’ than his own. ('Sometimes, Anakin reminded Obi-Wan of Qui-Gon. He had the same mix of logic and emotion that Obi-Wan struggled so hard to balance.’)

Which leads on to the other thing that jumps out at me: Obi-Wan’s failure to establish any real boundaries with Anakin. Anakin is very put out that Obi-Wan won’t tell him every detail of his past, like he has a total right to know whatever he wants. ('Why didn’t Obi-Wan trust him enough to tell him the truth?’) Anakin kind of hero worships Obi-Wan (how could a Padawan turn against his Master? how could they suspect you?) but seems to lack any sense of thinking he should obey Obi-Wan because he’s his teacher / an adult.

And, again with the lack of discipline and boundaries: 'Obi-Wan knew that Anakin had found these things [tools / droid parts, etc] by sneaking out of the Temple and dealing in the thriving black market of Coruscant. He preferred to turn a blind eye.’

★ Jedi Apprentice #8: The Day of Reckoning - June 2000. Xanatos has set them up on Telos but overreaches himself and ends up dead, preferring to kill himself by throwing himself into a pool of acid than repent.

★ Jedi Apprentice #9: The Fight for Truth - August 2000. For reasons best known to himself, Yoda has sent Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Siri Tachi and Adi Gallia to check out an alleged Force-sensitive baby in space North Korea. (They’ve cut themselves off from the rest of the galaxy because of visions of the Jedi bringing forth a great evil...) Obi-Wan and Siri are rounded up as suspected truants and sent to the ‘Learning Circle’ where children are indoctrinated for the General Good. When they keep complaining that the ‘facts’ they’re learning are lies, and that there can be no real freedom on a planet where nothing can be questioned, they’re taken to the Re-Learning Circle for indoctrination with extra isolation and sensory deprivation.

★ Jedi Apprentice #10: The Shattered Peace - October 2000. They go to sort out a dispute between royals and royal hostages on Rutan and Senali. It turns out that two supposed rivals are in love with each other; Obi-Wan struggles to make sense of it. Qui-Gon tells him: ‘Words do not always echo feelings.’

★ Jedi Apprentice #14: The Ties That Bind - August 2001. Qui-Gon and Tahl confess their feelings for each other, while Obi-Wan tries not to resent being relegated to sitting out on the stairs waiting for them…

★ Jedi Apprentice #15: The Death of Hope - October 2001. Tahl dies, Obi-Wan is afraid for his Master and what his attachment to her means.

★ Jedi Apprentice #16: The Call to Vengeance - December 2001. Qui-Gon is consumed with grief for Tahl and comes close to losing himself to revenge. Obi-Wan vows to protect his Master from himself, even though his Master is acting like a stranger.

★ Jedi Apprentice #17: The Only Witness - February 2002. Qui-Gon continues to mourn Tahl. Obi-Wan develops a crush on a young widow named Lena they’re supposed to be escorting to Coruscant - though he doesn’t seem to understand what it is he’s feeling for her.

★ Jedi Apprentice #18: The Threat Within - March 2002. They go to Tory wet dream land Vorzyd 4 to investigate terrorist attacks that turn out to be a rebel youth group who want more from life than work. Qui-Gon reflects on how proud he is of the now 18-year-old Obi-Wan’s maturity and wisdom. This is one of my faves of the whole series.

★ Jedi Apprentice Special Edition: The Followers - April 2002. I love this installment so much. Prof. Mark Lundi and some of his students went nuts trying to gain power from a Sith Holocron; Anakin and Obi-Wan are tasked with taking the ranting and raving Lundi (in a special traveling cage!) to retrieve it. There is so much great fic potential in Anakin’s interactions with Lundi et al, and his later possible understanding of how much he’s lost to the dark side as Vader...

______________________________________________

Jedi Quest - stories about Padawan Anakin between the ages of 13 and 16.

I originally read these in my teens and loved them. They’re basically about Anakin’s relationship with Obi-Wan, friendship with fellow Padawans Darra and Tru Veld, and his rivalry with Ferus Olin who plays the role of the snooty prefect who warns the protagonist they’re going to be in awful trouble if they don’t tell the headmistress what’s happening. My abiding memory of them was Obi-Wan giving Anakin Qui-Gon’s river stone and, though Obi-Wan had been justifiably upset with such a lame gift, Anakin is beyond overjoyed because it’s Obi-Wan’s most precious possession and he’s entrusting it to him. Re-reading them they’re even more delightfully slashy than I remembered, with Padawan Anakin going on (and on and on) about how he’ll make Obi-Wan love him...

★ Jedi Quest: Path to Truth - September 2001. Anakin and Obi-Wan go to Ilum to get a crystal for Anakin’s saber, then on to a mission where they encounter Krayn, a Slaver who kidnapped Amee’s mum back on Tatooine. Obi-Wan refuses to free the slaves: “I heard the slaves beg you to help them. I saw you turn your back on them. How can you abandon them to such misery? Every day for a slave is another chance to die. Killing Krayn will free them. How can you do this?" Anakin ends up being re-enslaved, blows Knight Antana’s cover, but does manage to instigate a slave revolt in the spice mines of Nad Shadaa. It’s still not enough though, and Anakin kills Krayn in cold blood. Obi-Wan witnesses it but rationalises it away, reasoning that it was self-defence and he has nothing to worry about...

★ Jedi Quest #1: The Way of the Apprentice - April 2002. ‘Anakin was special, and they all knew it. The trouble was that he knew it as well.’ We learn that Anakin regularly sneaks out of the Temple, has only just manages to make a friend (Tru) after 4 years there, and generally spends most of his time thinking about whether or not Obi-Wan is proud of him. His rivalry with Ferus begins: “Obi-Wan doesn’t see you clearly,” Ferus said softly. “He is a great Jedi Knight, but he is blinded by affection. But I see. And I will keep looking. I will watch you, Anakin Skywalker.”

★ Jedi Quest #2: The Trail of the Jedi - April 2002. 14-year-old Anakin thinks about how the Temple isn’t his home, and how envious he is of Obi-Wan’s relationship with Qui-Gon; he’s always felt ‘honoured’ to be Obi-Wan’s Padawan, but now he worries Obi-Wan is only training him because Qui-Gon begged him to. Though he knows full well a Master is typically distant with a young Padawan - he gives Tru and Ry-Gaul as an example - he still doesn’t think it should apply to him. ‘He could sense that his Master was uneasy. Something was bothering him. But Obi-Wan did not confide. He never does, Anakin thought. How can we get closer if he keeps all his thoughts to himself?’ As far as Anakin is concerned, no part of Obi-Wan’s life should be off limits to him. Meanwhile Obi-Wan angsts about having hurt Anakin’s feelings by not sharing his every thought. This one also features the A+++ Obikin passage: ‘He should not focus on what he didn’t have. He had this. This was his. And that was something. He would work hard. He would be a great Padawan. And Obi-Wan would come to love him. He would make him do so.’

★ Jedi Quest #3: The Dangerous Games - August 2002. The team is off to help police the Galactic Games and Anakin wastes no time getting involved in a podrace against Sebulba to help free a slave. He and Obi-Wan butt heads over this as it clearly isn’t part of their mission but, as Anakin argues, freeing him hadn’t been part of Qui-Gon’s mission either. ‘It wasn’t that Obi-Wan lacked compassion, Anakin mused. It was just that there was a little more distance between him and other living beings. Qui-Gon had not been able to pass along his connection to the Living Force to his Padawan, Anakin felt.’

★ Jedi Quest #4: The Master of Disguise - November 2002. Darra gets injured on a mission and Anakin blames himself. When Obi-Wan arranges for him to have extra saber training sessions with Darra’s Master, Soara Antana, he interprets it as a punishment and resolves to prove himself. Antana berates him for thinking himself superior to others and eventually refuses to train him further after he calls on his anger to defeat Ferus. Feeling lonely and hard done by, he’s an easy target for the sympathetic scientist Tic Verdun - who, of course, is actually Granta Omega in disguise.

★ Jedi Quest #5: The School of Fear - February 2003. This one is my favourite! Anakin and Ferus have to go undercover at a posh prep school to find out more about a Senator’s supposedly kidnapped son, with Obi-Wan as their contact. Being away from the Temple’s rules has Anakin wondering: ‘But was being a Jedi being free? Or had he traded one form of slavery for another?’ Anakin gets involved with a kids’ vigilante squad and when Ferus goes missing, instead of informing Obi-Wan, he carries on with the squad’s mission to go blow shit up on Andara. When Soara tells Obi-Wan he’s just devastated by it - but the best thing is Anakin thinks Obi-Wan’s gonna be so proud of him for sorting it all out himself. He shows off the kind of Force control Obi-Wan’s never even seen before and cannot understand why Obi-Wan’s so hung up on his failure to obey mission directives and communicate. ‘He felt shaken. Did Anakin understand that he had violated an essential part of the Jedi code? Did he know he had broken something between them? He had not fully trusted Obi-Wan. And so Obi-Wan had lost his trust in him.’

★ Jedi Quest #6: The Shadow Trap - May 2003. Anakin has been having a recurring vision, but when it comes to him while swimming he freaks out enough to track down Obi-Wan in the Room of a Thousand Fountains even though they’ve barely been on speaking terms since Andara. Granta Omega ends up capturing Anakin on the resulting mission because, like all SW villains, he is obsessed with Obi-Wan: ‘"Do you think he’s worried about you?” Omega barked a laugh. “What you don’t know about your Master could fill your precious archives. Kenobi doesn’t have a heart. Beings are just a means to get what he needs to be - the great Jedi in his own mind.”’ Yaddle saves the day - but sacrifices herself for the greater good in the process. Anakin blames himself for not understanding what the vision was trying to tell him: The vision hadn’t been wrong. The essential truth it had left him with was part of him now. He felt it inside him like a wound. It was loss. The gulf between him and Obi-Wan was wider than ever.

★ Jedi Quest #7: The Moment of Truth - November 2003. Anakin is still struggling to deal with his guilt over Yaddle’s death, and wonders if he simply feels too much to be a Jedi. On their mission he is captured and put into a tranquil state without emotion. Obi-Wan rescues him but Anakin’s still feeling the after effects - e.g. Obi-Wan is in danger but rather than rush to his aid, as is always his first instinct, he reasons that Obi-Wan is capable of handling it himself. But when Obi-Wan calls for him: ‘The hook in his heart seared him, and he knew its name. It was love. The love he felt for his Master was lodged firmly within him. It was a connection that had grown from the first moment Obi-Wan had told him that he would take him and train him.’ Ferus suggests that Anakin enjoyed being serene and content, so much so that it overpowered his loyalty to Obi-Wan. Tru tells Ferus to knock it off, but it does make Anakin confess all to Obi-Wan, including how he wishes he wasn’t the Chosen One. Obi-Wan tells him he wishes he could carry Anakin’s burdens for him but, as he can’t, all he can do is be there for him. ‘"Things between us have not run smoothly lately," Obi-Wan said. "But you must never doubt my commitment to you." "And mine to you," Anakin said.’

★ Jedi Quest #8: The Changing of the Guard - March 2004. Anakin feels he and Obi-Wan have reached a new level of closeness ever since he ‘had truly trusted him with the inner workings of his heart and mind’ and told him about his fears and the weight of being the Chosen One. Ferus has his own heart to heart with Obi-Wan and tells him how he envies Anakin’s ability to make friends, but fears for Anakin’s future given his lack of good judgement. Obi-Wan is ‘irritated’ by this and tells Ferus: ‘You must understand that it isn’t ambition that drives him. It is compassion.’

★ Jedi Quest #9: The False Peace - July 2004. Granta Omega and Jenna Zan Arbor are plotting an attack on the Senate. Palpy invites Anakin for a private meeting in his office and offers him the opportunity to shadow him to learn more about politics. ‘It was an extraordinary offer. Anakin knew he had to take it.’ When the attack goes down, Palps encourages Anakin to disobey Obi-Wan’s orders to stay put - presumably orchestrated to ensure Ferus alone cannot save Obi-Wan’s friend and senatorial aide, Tyro Caladian, who had been digging up dirt on Palps...

★ Jedi Quest #10: The Final Showdown - November 2004. As galactic stability falters, the Council decides to trial fast-tracking Knighthood. 16-year-old Anakin is convinced, who knows why, that he will be chosen for the programme. Obviously they actually choose Ferus - with Obi-Wan voting in favour. Anakin is so angry and jealous he keeps quiet when Ferus helps Tru fix his lightsaber, and doesn’t offer to check it over though he knows it’ll likely clash with his own previous mods. Tru’s lightsaber goes on to fail in battle, while Ferus is using it, and Darra dies after throwing herself in front of Ferus to save him. Ferus decides he’s not cut out to be a Jedi and resigns from the Order, but not before having one last spat with Anakin. The book ends with Anakin thinking about his heart will break the day he outstrips his Master, so the best way to deal with that unbearable sorrow will be to no longer have a heart. Hmmm.

____________________________________________________

The Last of the Jedi - AKA the extended tales of how everything would have been fine if people had just listened to Ferus.

So, obviously, these are no longer canon and don’t fit with OWK as they’re set like 18 months after the rise of the Empire and Obi-Wan’s already well aware of what Anakin’s become. Vader in this series is still obsessed with Padme and is working with a scientist to wipe his memories of her so he will no longer feel guilt, etc. But. There is plenty of Obi-Wan angst, Anakin v Ferus tension when Palps starts up with his usual grooming, and nobody will ever convince me that Obi-Wan and Ferus did not kriff when Ferus turns up at his cave door on Tatooine...

★ The Last of the Jedi #1: The Desperate Mission - May 2005. Obi-Wan learns that Ferus is still alive, leading a rebellion movement, and goes to track him down because: ‘Ferus was alive, and that meant that the past had not died. Not completely.’ Obi-Wan asks him about Ferus’ reasons for leaving the Order, but Ferus won’t say too much because: ‘He had seen how hard it was for Obi-Wan to say Anakin’s name. He must miss his apprentice. Ferus wondered how Anakin had died, but he didn’t want to ask. He didn’t want to dredge up a painful memory for Obi-Wan.’

★ The Last of the Jedi #2: The Dark Warning - September 2005. Ferus goes to Ilum to get a new crystal and has a vision of Anakin.

★ The Last of the Jedi #3, #4, #5, and #6. Underworld (December 2005), Death on Naboo (April 2006), A Tangled Web (July 2006), and Return of the Dark Side (December 2006). Ferus goes back to the Temple on Coruscant, makes contact with Dex and the proto-rebellion, and remembers what an angry weirdo Anakin was. Obi-Wan urges him to go Naboo as a double agent for the Empire but won’t tell him why; baby Leia’s Force sensitivity has been attracting the wrong kind of interest. Meanwhile, Trever, Ferus’ sort of non-Force sensitive Padawan, starts calling him Ferus-Wan because he fusses as much as Obi-Wan did. <3 Elsewhere, Vader does not like the interest Palps is showing in Ferus, recognising that he’s potentially grooming him to be his new apprentice.

★ The Last of the Jedi #7: The Secret Weapon - April 2007. Anakin kills Ferus’ boyfriend, Roan Lands, in front of him because he’s just that much of a spiteful little shit. Palps has Ferus taken from custody and offers him the opportunity to become powerful enough to beat Vader.

★ The Last of the Jedi #8 and #9: Against the Empire (October 2007) and Master of Deception (February 2008). Ferus becomes more corrupted by Palps’ holocron and finally realises that Vader is Anakin. Meanwhile Anakin thinks about how much he enjoyed killing Roan: ‘He had taken from Ferus what had been taken from him. He had vanquished his enemy and brought him down. It had been so easy. He had felt so satisfied.’

★ The Last of the Jedi #10: Reckoning - May 2008. Ferus rushes to tell Obi-Wan Vader’s true identity... and realises Obi-Wan already knows. Obi-Wan says he doesn’t know what drove Anakin to fall but: “To have so many gifts, to be the Chosen One . . . to be so afraid of loss …“ Obi-Wan gazed back at Ferus. ”And to have me as a Master. In the end, there were things between us I hadn’t even realized were there. I don’t have the answer to why he turned. I can only ask myself that question, over and over again.”

Ferus and Anakin have a showdown with the amazing exchange: “So you know who I was,” Vader said. “Do you think that would make a difference to me? Anakin Skywalker is dead.” “Was it because the Council wouldn’t let you become a Master? You always had to struggle with your ego, didn’t you?” “It was never a struggle. I was always the best.”

Ferus, beaten and bloodied and heartsick, seeks out Obi-Wan on Tatooine. Obi-Wan tenderly nurses him back to health...

#star wars #jude watson #long post #obikin #obi-wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #ferus olin

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antianakin · 3 months

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People know that Qui-Gon's "repudiation" of Feemor is COMPLETELY fanon, right? Like please tell me people know that that's not canon.

I mean, Feemor himself isn't canon anyway, the ONE THING he's actually appeared in was a comic from 2011 about Xanatos where he appears for TWO PAGES. All we learn is that he's Qui-Gon's Padawan from before Xanatos and that he was the son of a farmer and he seems relatively nice and polite. He and Qui-Gon seem to have a fairly positive relationship and one that's continued beyond Feemor's Knighting, including Qui-Gon asking Feemor to help him train his current padawan. Setting aside the weird timeline problems introduced by Feemor existing at all, the character is clearly there just to showcase Xanatos being a classist asshole and not much else.

That's ALL WE KNOW about Feemor within what little exists for him and he's not even a canon character to begin with. But the whole "repudiation" thing only exists because the writer of the comic, Scott Allie, presumably didn't consider that adding in another padawan before Xanatos would make some of the stuff Qui-Gon says (and doesn't say) in Jedi Apprentice seem really weird. For example, I'm pretty sure Qui-Gon explicitly claims Xanatos was his first padawan, which is a very strange thing to say if Feemor exists. And it makes his massive depression about Xanatos a little more questionable when he HAS an entire other padawan who was successfully trained to knighthood and seems like a perfect example of a Jedi.

I also just think it's kind-of in bad faith to assume that it's in character for Qui-Gon to have done something like this to someone he seems to care about. It's one thing for Qui-Gon to reject taking on a NEW padawan, that's a massive commitment that he's being asked to take on and one he clearly does not feel ready for and the person involved is a total stranger to him so he loses very little by saying no to Obi-Wan. It's a whole different thing for Qui-Gon to reject a FORMER padawan, what does this accomplish? It's not like he's still actively training Feemor, there's nothing being asked of him in this relationship that's a massive commitment on his part. We also don't see him completely reject any of his OTHER relationships from before Xanatos like Tahl or Yoda. And even with Obi-Wan, we see Qui-Gon do his best to let Obi-Wan down gently during the multiple times Obi-Wan tries asking Qui-Gon to accept him as an apprentice, Qui-Gon comes to Obi-Wan's rescue more than once, and he clearly does CARE about Obi-Wan's wellbeing despite how little time they've known each other and Obi-Wan's constant begging for something Qui-Gon has already said no to. So even at his WORST, it still doesn't suggest such a lack of care that he'd literally reject any and all association with a former Padawan he clearly cares about.

So for anyone using "what he did to Feemor" as a reason for why Qui-Gon sucks or is a bad master, please stop. It's not real, it's just fanon, and it's not even an accurate interpretation of the character.

#star wars #qui-gon jinn #feemor #jedi apprentice

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crispyjenkins · 2 years

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I do love Jango having a lower midi-chlorian count than the average rock, but how about this- Jango is found by the Jedi, Obi Wan taken in by Jaster. They meet on Galidraan. Jango isn't meant to be there, he has a vision or sees the mission info and has a feeling. Either way, the force has apparently decided its his job to save a random mandalorian (the random mandalorian, who can't be any older than him, turns out to be the mand'alor. There goes hoping he can keep this quiet from the council)

(well howdy do would you look at that, jango's got the force visions now

there was not supposed to be so much Yearning on jango's part, but well. what am i if not a writer of jangobi longing

also sorry if the Force bits are a little hard to read: i want them to be all mooshed together to like. convey how rushed and confusing they are. but also i have dyslexia. so i’m trying out this way)

The captain of the Mandalorians they had been sent to deal with is... even younger than Jango is.

He freezes after managing to knock said human’s helmet clean off, watching their head jerk with the blow, watching their flushed, freckled face flinch in momentary pain before twisting into a snarl with blood in their teeth.

nothimnothimdonotharmhimdonotharmhim

Jango stares breathlessly at the scowling man before him and barely manages to dodge the ferocious swing of a Mandalorian sword right at his face. He stumbles back a few steps, wildly bringing up his blue lightsaber to deflect the next blow, and it’s only with the realisation that his opponent must have a sword made of beskar that Jango realises the importance of the Mandalorian coming at him with cold rage saturating the Force between them.

lostlostheislosthelphelphimhemust comebackdonotharmhimdonotharmhim

Jango leaps backwards to put some distance between them and nearly careens right into a snowdrift, stumbling on landing and leaving his defense wide open; Master Tahl is absolutely going to have his ass on drills for months if he even manages to survive thi—

Except the Mandalorian doesn’t take advantage of Jango’s opening, instead stilling right where Jango had left him.

The battle continues on the other side of the ravine, Jango unsure when he had gotten so far away from his fellow Jedi, and the cold air only amplifies the echoing blasterfire and ’saber strikes and screaming. This is hardly the first skirmish Jango has been a part of, but for some reason, it feels infinitely more important than any other battle he’s been in before.

Looking up at the teenager that can only be the kriffing, Force-damned Mand’alor, maybe it isn’t so mysterious a reason.

And the Mand’alor stares right back at him, heaving breaths painting the air before their parted lips in clouds, lips that Jango had bruised and split with the blow landed to their head. Lips that are no longer snarling, the Mand’alor instead furrowing their brow at Jango in confusion, with their sword angled in front of themself in defense.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck, knocking their helmet off was a fucking mistake, because now Jango has to watch blood drip from their nose over a perfect cupid’s bow, down a chin with an endearing scattering of moles, and has to meet eyes so brown they’re almost black even in the harsh sunlight reflecting off the snow.

yesyesyesyesyeshemustlive

Their hair is a perfect copper-red, Jango notes a tad hysterically, cut short to not be a bother inside the helmet, but with two braids framing their face in front of either ear, not... not unlike a padawan braid, actually. A simple, black metal circlet rests on their forehead with the majority disappearing into their hair, a single red gem in the center matching the Mand’alor’s black and red armour perfectly.

A slightly-crooked nose implies a break that had not healed properly, and they have a smattering of small scars on their right cheek, a couple clipping through their eyebrow, that could have only been caused by shrapnel. The tatters of a red rapier cape hang from one shoulder, having seen much better days with a large stain taking up what little of it Jango can see. A blood stain.

hisnothishisbuirhelosthisbuirheis tooyoungaking

To the Jedi’s knowledge, the Mand’alor was a middle-aged human man, so his death must have been recent because the Temple certainly hasn’t heard about a shift in leadership until now. Amd the last Mand’alor must have been this one’s family, Jango realises, for why else would he have taken up the mantle so young?

Jango himself is not yet twenty, and the teen before him is obviously several years younger still. He can’t even imagine what that sort of responsibility is like: he’s not due for the knight trials for at least another five years, if not more, which says nothing of the decades until mastership, and even more to qualify for Head of the Order. How can someone even younger than him lead and care for an entire people?

Actually, that thought makes Jango suddenly question this whole mess of a mission. Why would an incredibly new ruler suddenly attack protestors on a planet far out of their borders? If it was a contract, why would they have taken it at all? He suddenly questions how easy it would have been to manipulate a teenager into a vulnerable position, especially if said manipulators wished them harm.

And isn’t that the saying? All are enemies of Mandalorians (especially other Mandalorians.) Who doesn’t wish them harm these days?

A shift of boots over snow wrenches Jango back to the very present problem of facing down the actual Mand’alor of the actual Supercommandos of the actual Mandalorians. Don’t the Supercommandos have a creed of as little violence as possible?

His distraction costs him this time, the Mand’alor shifting their grip on their sword before snarling that perfect face again and launching themself at Jango. He barely gets his ’saber up in time, but is still slammed onto his back into the snow, knocking the breath from his chest and leaving him panting.

Panting as the Mand’alor straddles his chest and bears all their weight down on their connected blades. Instead of afraid, or panicked, or even offended, Jango feels nothing but awe as he as he’s forced to stare at the teen above him, entranced by brown eyes that turn the inky purple of Wild Space in the blue sparking light of beskar against kyber, as this Wild Mandalorian tries to take his head 0ff. And Jango is no poet (despite Master Tahl’s continuous effort), but if he could simply name the colours that ripple over their face in infinitely more shades than blue, Jango thinks he would make a very fine poet indeed.

Now if the Force would just allow him the time to start counting them.

yesyesyesyesyES

savehim.

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