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hum-suffer · 4 months

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I'm Yours 4

Warning: it's not too explicit but I'd rate it nsfw just to be safe. They're just kissing lol (baki you can read, it's legit no plot)

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Mayank is... something great. He's self assured, cocky and easy to get along with.

The way he slid next to Ishan and danced with him on Dil Di Nazar made Ishan want to scream with joy. The man knew the steps to the movie music video and Ishan instantly gave him brownie points.

Now, they go back and forth, dancing on Señorita as they go and Ishan laughs at the way Mayank butchers the Spanish, instead saying some very unflattering things in Hindi.

Mayank grabs his hand and spins him around, abruptly dipping him. The smile on his face shrinks and Ishan almost wants to hit the man. He controls his urge and takes a step back. He doesn't like being touched so intimately, not at all in a crowd like this. His partner doesn't seem to care much and continues to dance and another song starts to play.

Ishan only recognises the song when it's halfway done and Mayank is holding his hips loosely and dancing completely off beat. Dhan Te Nan is a fast song and this man is dancing almost way too slow for Ishan to even think decently of him. The brownie points are deducted instantly.

Mayank languishly closes his eyes and moves his body in a way that it grazes Ishan's. Ishan closes his eyes too, deciding to enjoy his time out even if it's with someone who doesn't know when to grind and when to dance.

A hand dances at his back, finger tips drawing mindless patterns.

Ishan moves in tandem with the beat as it slows down at the end of the song and slightly raises one of his foot to graze the inside of Mayank's leg.

He opens his eyes to see his reaction but before he can actually discern anything, the lights turn off and another song starts. Uff Teri Adaa starts to play, Ishan knows it because he has it by heart by now.

The club is way too dark without the lights, no windows available in the room. Ishan finds he likes the feeling. The hand from his back and hip disappears abruptly.

Ishan feels arms wrap around his waist from behind. It takes his added brain a moment to understand it but the arms don't feel the same as they did a while ago when he was dipped.

These arms are stronger and hold him in a more comfortable manner. He can break away if he so wishes.

Ishan continues to dance, marvelling at his luck to be suddenly of interest to more than one person.

He feels a forehead at his shoulder, and the arms at his waist shift, fingers splayed over his stomach. The hands are cold, he can feel them perfectly through his thin shirt. Perhaps the stranger had been holding a glass.

From the minute space between two buttons, the stranger slips a finger inside Ishan's shirt as they dance pathetically slow to the song. Ishan can't find it in himself to care about either Mayank or the song or the dance. The cold finger on his warm skin makes his muscles contract and breath hitch.

Ishan throws his head back and the stranger shifts again, nuzzling up Ishan's throat with his nose. Ishan feels teeth graze the corner of his jaw in the imitation of a bite before lips are pressed behind his ears.

"You told me I'm yours," the stranger speaks in a deep voice. Ishan is a bit disoriented from the loud music, but he thinks he's heard the voice before. It's a throaty, raspy voice. "But you're mine too, love."

The pet name brings him back to Earth.

There's only one person who calls him that.

He doesn't know what it says about him but instead of running, Ishan tilts his head further. It's the alcohol, he tells himself.

(He lies. He barely drank a sip of beer before he passed it off to Aditi because it tasted like bullshit.)

The lips shift and he feels a smile at his nape. "I don't let anyone else touch what's mine, love. Won't you be a good boy and cooperate for me?"

Warmth pools in his stomach. He stiffles a groan and sneers in the dark. "And yet, I've yet to see the one who belongs to me. Do you want to upset me, sweet boy?"

Fuck the fucking beer.

(Fuck his need to be so fucking possessive. Fuck his need to know. Fuck the warmth he's feeling in his blood right now.

Fuck him.)

He hears a groan and feels the vibrations on his skin and the way the a huff blows the hair at his nape. Ishan shivers as the finger over his torso slips out and the hand snakes up to cup his throat.

He gulps and he's sure the admirer can feel it. Ishan can feel his shiver at his back.

"Be a good boy, Ishan," he says, and Ishan almost combusts at the way his name sounds, so desired and so wanted and so so passionate. "Walk with me."

Ishan nods, his curiosity makes him a slave as the admirer slides the hand away from his throat and again wraps both his arms around Ishan's waist as he's led to a place he doesn't know.

The grip is still loose enough that Ishan can shrug him off.

He doesn't.

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The admirer stops them when they're in another room. It's dark here too, no lights.

Ishan feels himself being pushed against a wall and then his body is covered with warmth again, hidden under another's.

"Tell me to stop and I will," the admirer says, and Ishan wants to hug him. He doesn't, but just nods.

The next thing he knows, there's hands all over his body. A hand goes behind his head to shield him from the wall and other one goes back to his hip. There's lips on his brow and they trail down slowly, almost painstakingly.

Ishan whimpers, shivering with the effect the hot breath and cold hands have on him. Before he knows what he's doing, his hands are raising and he grabs the shirt that the admirer is wearing and—

Motherfucker.

It's his shirt. His blue silk shirt.

The texture is the same, the small fake diamonds forming a curve at the second last button is the same. Ishan bunches up the fabric in his hands and groans when feverish lips press at his cheeks.

"Stealing is a crime," he says, panting. The admirer chuckles.

He retorts,"If you belong to me, so does your shirt, love."

"I don't belong to you."

"Yet."

The hot kisses shift downward, to his jaw and then his throat. Ishan tenses up for a fraction of a moment when he feels his a hand on the centre of his chest where he's left the top two buttons open.

A finger trails down saliciously.

"You wore this for me, love?" The admirer says, his breath coming faster as if he's affected by their exchange as much as Ishan is. He moves his face and buries it in Ishan's throat, licking almost sweetly at the base of his throat.

Hysterically, Ishan is glad that he's forgone to use any perfume on his skin and instead opted for a light ittar on his clothes. He doesn't think tasting perfume would have been pleasant for the admirer.

He's pulled out of his thoughts when teeth graze at his throat again before he's actually bitten. Ishan can't supress the groan he feels and automatically, one of his hands flies from the shirt to his admirer's hair. His hair is soft, Ishan notes distantly as he grabs a handful— to shove back or forth, he doesn't know.

The admirer seems to take the decision for Ishan as he moves, barely an inch, and bites his skin again. Ishan feels him lick the area with the tip of his tongue.

"No one puts their hands on you, do you understand, love?" The admirer asks.

Ishan doesn't know how to answer that and the hand previously on his chest goes down to grab his shirt and pull Ishan closer. Ishan feels another bite at the corner of his jaw and keens, pulling the admirer closer by his hair.

"Do you understand, Ishan?" He asks again, voice directly in Ishan's ear before he bites his earlobe.

"Yeah," Ishan pants. "Yeah, yeah, I do. I understand."

He is rewarded handsomely for his agreement.

The free hand, the one that isn't tugging him by the shirt and making him feel things he definitely should not be feeling, slithers around his body. The admirer slips his hand in Ishan's back pocket and squeezes lightly.

Ishan gasps, digging his nails in the skin of the admirer's neck.

"Can I kiss you, love? I'll leave you alone if you say no, I promise." The admirer sounds so sincere and so sober. Ishan is drunk on the feeling of his hands on his body. He wants more. He shouldn't, he knows, this admirer could turn out to be a psychopath for all he knows, but.

But his touch is absolute sin. And Ishan has never been a saint.

"Please." Is all he whispers.

The last time Ishan kissed someone was four months ago, when they were playing truth and dare and someone dared him to kiss Aditi. It was awkward and hellish to kiss his best friend of years. Plus, she'd been eating garlic bread, so it was worse.

His admirer? He tasks like ice and something fruity. His lips move against Ishan's, slowly at first, as if he can't believe it and then he absolutely devours Ishan. The admirer groans against Ishan's mouth and Ishan slips his hand under his, Ishan's ,untucked shirt and splays a hand over the man's torso like he did with Ishan not too long ago.

The admirer slows down and Ishan breathes deeply as they pull apart. He wants more. He wants it back.

With all the strength he can manage with his limps so loose and thoughts out of sorts, Ishan flips them so the admirer is pushed against the wall where Ishan was standing. He keeps him there with a hand on his chest and he hears a pop, only to realise that the admirer actually ended up breaking a button on Ishan's shirt with his sudden shift.

"Can I kiss you?" He asks, his voice sounding rough and croaky to his ears. "Please, baby, let me. Let me please you."

The admirer whimpers and Ishan feels the nod from where his hand still lies against the man's neck.

Ishan kisses the admirer like a man starved and moves his other hand to cup his cheek. He can feel the shapely jaw and high and full cheek bones. Ishan moves his hand to cushion the admirer's head as his kiss turns more ardent and Ishan has the wildest idea to stake his claim as well.

He can feel the throbbing on his neck, jaw and throat, and knows that he will have hickeys. It's only fair that he gives repayment.

The admirer groans as Ishan bites at his jaw and his Addam's apple, panting in Ishan's ear in the way that only encourages him.

He swipes his tongue over his admirer's neck and plants a final hickey at his jawline, just an inch away from his chin.

Impossible to hide.

His.

Ishan's.

The way that the admirer whimpers makes Ishan want to do unspeakable things to him. But before it can go any further, the admirer plants a hand over Ishan's mouth. Ishan blinks owlishly even if it's of no use in the bloody dark room.

"I have to go now," his admirer says roughly and shifts. Ishan feels the impact he has had on his admirer. He feels proud for some inexplicable reason. "But we will meet again, love. And until then, no one else touches you, okay?"

Ishan wants to say something scathing and sassy but he purses his lips and nods. "Okay. Can I see your face, at least?"

"Not today, love. Someday else." And there's a hand over his eyes now.

And again, Ishan let's himself be led by a man he doesn't know.

It's only when the cold of the hands disappear from his body that he opens his eyes to see himself at the dance floor again.

Ishan doesn't see Mayank for the rest of the night.

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Tagging: @kyayaarkiraa @fortunatelycrazyyouth @khwxbeeda @ek-ladki-bheegi-bhagi-si @ishkrisq @k-h-watari @ispeakmorelanguagesthanyou @ms-potato @onthecloudseven @mayakimayahai @athena-swords

#Shubhman gill #ishan kishan #fanfiction #dude i swear i mean no disrespect pakka #im just a girl who's obessed #cricket #ishman #shubish #mayank Agrawal #bro lmao i almost forgot that i added him as a character lol👩🏻‍🦯#sorry bby

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thebrainrotsreal · 2 days

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HIHII I WANTED TO ASK IF YOU HAVE A SPIDERSONA???

Oh my god, you made me remember I absolutely do!!! Had to fix it up a little but Behold: The Spotted Spider! He's a silly lil' guy who always carries around some kind of sign they ripped out the ground which he uses as both a staff AND a bat. May or may not have a symbiote but they're not confirming anything. Damage their headphones and she's sending you to the grave.

Uhhh, AND because I can, there's some bonus alternatives that never made the cut for the final, feat. my older style below. Also, do you have a spidersona?? I'd love to see if you do, too! ♡♡♡

I had a vision and did not rest until I made it reality sjdksd. Also, like, I love tweaking designs but I cannot empathize 3 different tries is so excessive for me jdkkfkd. Legit stayed commiteed to the whole oversized coat + baggy pants + sneakers combo, hehe.

#the brainrotsreal's art tag ✧˖°:*♡#spidersona #spiderverse oc #spidersona art #procreate #procreate art #digital artist #digital art #character design #asks #ALSO THANK YOU SM FOR ASKING!! :DDD #i completely forgor about all of these djfkdfd #original character #oc #spidersona oc #spiderverse fanart #rare moment of non-invincible fanart shocking i know dw ill be back on my mark grayson obession #i need to change my nickname on here i cannot go by mark and draw mark sjdksjdks

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sencity · 10 months

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yandere!botanist x gn!darling, pt. one . . .

˚₊ ꒰ nightmare fuel 𝄁︎ obsessive behavior, the calm before the storm.

˚₊ ꒰ word count 𝄁︎ 792.

˚₊ ꒰ key 𝄁︎ crossed out red texts indicate sencha’s thoughts. blue text indicate sencha’s messages. purple text indicate y/n's messages.

˚₊ ꒰ sen’s statement(s) 𝄁︎ you’re more than likely to find my oc’s information here along with the rest of them. sencha’s a rusted gem, so polish him up a bit before handling him for me, ‘kay?

☪︎︎ 𝔂andere botanist! who is your next-door neighbor and a close friend sitting in his coniferous garden, plucking a bourbon rose while playing a silly little game of “she loves me, she loves me not” even though he’s received the “not” end a plethora of times. yet, he’s not letting up, believing that he needs to try different flowers causing her to sit in a pile of flower petal …

“they love me… they love me so not… they love me! i knew i just have to try harder to get them to understand…this is perfect! next step is buying them a ring one day!”

☪︎︎ 𝔂andere botanist! who gives you different herbs for teas and restoratives daily in order to keep you healthy and nourished! because there’s no telling what pharmacists are putting in those lousy pills we call pain killers of yours. anything to keep you living for as long as…forever! …

“gingko can be used as antioxidants, but please don’t take too much, okay? actually, i’ll divide them into perfect amounts. i’ll make sure that you’re never ever sick, bee…”

☪︎︎ 𝔂andere botanist! who studies plants and flowers to the point where he lacks so much sleep just to perfect bouquets for you. he’s up taking the time to tell you each and every individual meaning and fact behind each flower and why it reminds him of you. heliotropes to symbolize his eternal devotion towards you, amaranths to immortalize his love for you, and calla lilies to represent your magnificent beauty.

☪︎︎ 𝔂andere botanist! who also plants your favorite fruits and vegetables, don’t wanna get poisoned ones from grocery stores, they could be contaminated and make you sick! (even though part of him wishes for it to happen so he has an excuse to take care of you).

☪︎︎ 𝔂andere botanist! who tears up at the sight of your excitement when you planted a flower of your own in a garden he built just for you. the bud was emerging from the soil and seeing you geeking over the fact that your flower was actually growing made his heart swell up with pride and mental adulation. word on the street says if he ever feels gloomy, he thinks about that moment and falls asleep with the biggest smile on his face.

☪︎︎ 𝔂andere botanist! who is easy to please. a pat on the head washes away his frantic mind. a kiss on the cheek causes him to short circuit and never wash away the area on his cheek you’ve kissed. a simple thank you and the slightest smile makes his stomach do backflips, stammering over his words before he simply just closed his mouth and nodded frantically, his body bursting with tingles that feels like butterflies in the breeze.

☪︎︎ 𝔂andere botanist! who gets very slick-mouthed and petty when you invite someone over and you don’t have time for him. you would think you would get used to his mouth, let alone him getting used to you being around other people, and yet he still behaves in such a way, and somehow he gets more blunt …

“flower boy, where are your cups?”

“oh? they’re really lame did the person you chatted with not have any? how could they not find y/n the tallest glass in the world?”

“if they did, i wouldn’t have asked you.”

“they seemed to have pretty big cups, honey… ones that you couldn’t keep your eyes off o-”

“ALRIGHT.”

☪︎︎ 𝔂andere botanist! who does/shows you everything for your validation and approval because without it he’s wilting in despair. he worked so hard on his flower pressed portrait and surprised you with it with the happiest (yet hopeful) smile. he, once again, leaped joyously when you beamed and praised him, giggling while hiding his face behind the painting, which caused only his blushed ears to be the star of the scene.

☪︎︎ 𝔂andere botanist! who has a personal notebook that pertains to you and questions he wants to ask you when he finally has the courage to. he writes in it especially when you’re around to remember and study all the things you tell about yourself; it just looks like he’s studying another flower, but instead coming up with more ways to please you and learn all about you.

☪︎︎ 𝔂andere botanist! whose heartbeat was the only thing he could hear when your first flower you planted was the one he gave to you as a welcoming to the neighborhood. a potted marigold which you gifted him blithely and nostalgically. you then burst into laughter when he began with the waterworks, awwing him when he embraced you so suddenly, your feet lifting from the ground during the process …

“y-you’re the absolute kindest! thank you so much, y/n… you’re really a godsend… no, i’m being sincere! they’re so clueless it’s so cute i mean… just look at you! i wouldn’t want anything else in the universe, not even life itself…not a single flower…”

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creamecafe · 11 months

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If constantly switching what music I listen to or choosing a comfort character every new week was a crime, I be in there for life

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squeiky · 6 months

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The audacity of existence.

How dare you be concieved. To be blessed with the touch of angels, you golden haired goddess. How dare you force your reflection upon mine. The audacity to mirror me.

YOU.

I hate you. You are my purgatory, and hell resides within your dastardly light. You are the anthesis to my existance, my purpose, my life. Tormet me by image alone.

Do you know how much you have pained me? How much the mere sight of you, has distorted me? Ruined me? Hurt me? Questions your existance has plauged in my mind?

Look at you, my loathsome copy. You are nothing like me.

So then why?

Why does the universe kiss you gently upon a flushed cheek then heckle and spit on mine? Why are you the beloved golden duckling whilst i remain the unwanted black swan?

Why is it me who must rid myself of my body, blood, and mind. Discarding me of myself to end you? I have done nothing short of effort. I have given myself all to destroying you, to riding the world of you. Yet they love you. They do not love me.

We resemble eachother more than anyone else ever will. It is cruel a fate, to be devoted entirely to destroying a twisted reflection of myself. Burdened by both our images, drowning me in hatred made for both us. Yet you remain free, whilsy i remain prisioner.

It feels, as i seek to destroy you, i destroy myself. So i do. Over and over again. Yet you remain unscathed, bright and beautiful. Whilst i remain broken, left to rot in the mud. Helpless. Afraid. Alone.

Thinking.

What must i do? Who must i be to be kissed by the same light that dared to birth you?

Must i purge myself of all things to simply taste a fraction of it? How will i outshine you? Must I transform my body till there is nothing of me left, just to feel your light crushed beneath mine? Must i erase myself completly? Must i become you? Must i be you? Must i place my hands against your neck? My lifeless material crushing your ugly flesh to finally hear the last of your breath. Must i feel everyones glare peirce through my unending spine, wishing nothing but breaking every metal bone instead of me?

Must i take their love and desire and rip it from their broken hearts, forcing them to kneel before me and drag your dead light upon me? Must i become king of all things, living, dead and unalive, before i get a fraction, a mere TASTE of your life?

Is that what the world desires of me?

Is THAT what it takes?

my loathsome copy. Your existance is what destroys me. You are everything without me but i am nothing without you. Yet i am made to end you. To destroy the only thing, the only purpose i have in life.

You all look down upon me. Even my creator, cant seem to look at me without seeing you. Forever i am compared to you. Forever i think of only you. Forever i am destroyed by you. Forever i am devoted to destroying you. Forever i am afriad. Forever i am chained, cursed to this wretched body, reflecting you.

YOU.

I hate you. I loathe you.

....

What a cruel existance to be born, you and I.

I hope when i choke you death, you'll burn me alive.

#metal sonic #sonic the hedgehog #a mixture of venting #its a vent that works i guess #wrote this in a state of what i can only describe as mania #a mix of my own obession mixed with its #i do not know if i love him or if i want to be him or if i want to kill him.#i do not know what love is #i only know what hatred is #but have experinced kindness #i do not want it but i am told i must have it #i want to die and i want to drag them all down with me #i want to live and i want to kill everyone around me #i relate to this character- metal sonic. or atleast whateber iteration i have concoted from him.#i think i am just as obessed with him as it with sonic.#desire is a fickle thing y'know?#metal sonic is full of desires. i am willing to extract all of it. its the only way i can express myself. through fictiomal characters #its like i am nothing without it. much how it is nothing without sonic #who am i even i dont know anymore #i think im going insane #no no... i have been for a long time. im only just started to realize it now.#dont worry about me. this is a vent. not even a character analysis. take it as you will.

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e1dritchqueer · 1 year

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There's something really special about Witch from Mercury to me that's only just clicking now. Like the first season was wonderful but it also felt kinda mired in some "oh the gundam is actually good" and the whole he trope of "oh ahaha it's a high school but also there are mechs but don't worry it's all cool". However those foundations I feel were largely placed to be broken. Like the prologue shows that well enough but the second season even better. The facade of high school is breaking as the true landscape of corporations waging war is revealed. The optimisim that Sulleta carries is being twisted and rexamined, she hasn't lost a mech fight yet. That's kind of terrifying. and then like ALL the stuff with Guel, the high school bully, to someone trying to be a better person through Sulleta, till THAT all falls apart and he finds himself at the other side of the war and opression his father built to perpetuate. like GAH it's so good,

#this might be incoherent but I'm obessed with this show #ALSO THE RECCURING CHARACTERS #like I'm realizing how many factions and groups this show has been setting up AND coming back to #like that ace pilot in the prologue who killed suleta's dad is the person leading the fleet attacking earth now and such #g witch #mobile suit gundam #mobile suit gundam witch from mercury #witch from mercury #gundam

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rodentjazz · 1 year

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I’ve been doing that thing where I draw all the time and don’t do anything else

#jrwi fanart #jrwi prime defenders #jrwi riptide #jrwi bitb #ocs #rodent art #sketch dump #jrwi has me obessed again there’s so many characters to draw there so much I can do Aaaaa

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engelsschwert · 4 months

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Okay, Reynauld and Dismas height comparison discourse seems to start up again and it pisses me off. People keep using ingame screenshots to try and guestimate their size difference.

Guys... guys... you know Dismas slouches and has his knees bent, right? And you know Rey basically stands like a fucking flag pole.

Also why are you so obsessed with proving who is taller and who is smaller? Make your own damn headcanons. Make Dismas five feet and Reynauld 8 for all I care, or the other way around, there is no one stopping you if you are into that stuff.

And to put an end to the discussion right now on 'who is taller' in game, I'll attach a screenshot of their in game models under the cut, the result will shock you!

Yea they are basically the same fucking height

And yes I used the backstory model because the helmet adds like 2 inches and I didn't want to leave room for speculation

#the obession with character sizes always pissed me off #in every fandom i ever was #darkest dungeon #reynauld #dismas #darkest dungeon 2 spoiler #every character model is the same height #give or take 3 inches depending on their clothes #Red Hook did not put much thought into this #and I promise you it's okay to make up their heights #to me rey is 5'9 and Dis is 5'5 #in this house we support having imagination

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oifaaa · 11 months

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For the opinion rating: I'm sick of Jason Todd's character being so tied down to the joker, same with batgirl to a degree

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

I've said it before but I'll say it again if you think Joker as an individual person is important to Jason you misunderstood utrh Joker is important as far as he happened to be the person who killed Jason I do feel babs gets it slightly better just bc unlike Jason a huge chunk of her driving force hasn't been rerooted into revolving around the clown but that might also be bc of the weird cononicity of the killing joke

#ask #anon #ask game #but also im starting to focus more now #on how the way joker is always over focused on in every story hes involved in #more bc the joker himself is overhyped and over focused on as a character in general #ive never understood the obession with the joker as a character #(maybe thats why i like the young justice cartoon so much hes so unimportant in that show its so funny)#but yeah preying to the gods that jason will one day be free of the joker bullshit he has somehow found himself in

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hum-suffer · 5 months

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Ours

Ishan doesn't remember the last time he was this upset. He's striding across the hallway to the hotel room he's been alloted. To share.

It's late at night, well past the hours of deep midnight. There's no one in the dimly lit corridor— the older teammates had already retired to their rooms while the youngsters stayed for the afterparty.

"You could have bloody well told me she'd be there!" He snaps at Shubhman. His best friend, the friend that Ishan has been head over heels for over five years, sighs and looks down. Shubhman, who shares the room with Ishan. "No. You don't get to be a fucking puppy."

"Ishan, dude, I didn't know! I just posted a snap of the place, how was I supposed to know she'd be there? Kammo said she declined the invitation, I trusted him!"

Shubhman moves to remove his suit jacket as Ishan pushes the door open. Ishan uses his movements as a distraction, lest he stare at the way Shubhman's light blue silk shirt clings to him. It's one he's shared with Shubhman for so long that now either of them remembers who it originally belonged to.

(Lies.

Ishan remembers buying it for Shubhman and then joking around about how he has right on it.

He remembers when Shubhman invited him to Shahneel Didi's birthday and gave him the shirt with a smile and an order to wear it.

He had a cold shower before changing.)

He brings himself back to reality when Shubhman locks the room almost absentmindedly and removes his shoes, all the while focusing on Ishan as if Ishan is the centre of his universe.

His cheeks are red and Ishan doesn't know if it's anger or embarrassment. "I swear, Ishan, why do you even care? I don't give a fuck whether she shows face or not!"

Ishan cares because she had been flirting with Shubhman for all evening and that motherfucking idiot Shubhman did not even realise what she was doing. Ishan cares because sees her arm wrapped around his bicep somehow burned Ishan's skin. Ishan cares because she held tightly to Shubhman even when he tried to move away. Ishan cares about his personal space and she fucking doesn't. Ishan just cares.

In a clearly failed attempt to calm down himself, Ishan removes the watch and bracelets on his wrists— all but the one Shubhman made for him. While he's at it, he also removes the leather jacket he was wearing, making sure to not let the bracelet catch in the soft lining of the jacket.

"Ishan? Bloody say something!"

Ishan glares at him. "You want me to say something?" He throws down the jacket on the floor, uncaring for it. He takes a step towards Shubhman. "She's using you for clout. She's using you for fame. And you know it. You know it and you go along with it any-fucking-way as if you have no self respect! You go and sit with her and then I'm left alone for the rest of the night! I'm sorry if my anger inconveniences you!"

By the time he stops, he's breathing hard and his eyes and throat are burning. I love you, he wants to say. I love, love, love you.

Shubhman softens. "You should have told me."

Ishan laughs in his face, a bitter sound. "Told you? Boy, you'd not even be aware I was beside you!"

Shubhman tenses. "Impossible. I'm always aware of you, Ishan. I'm—"

"Aware?" Ishan snaps, on a roll now. "You didn't even look at me the whole goddamn time!"

And before he can continue his tirade, Shubhman narrows his eyes. "Move back, Ishan."

"Oh, so now you've a problem with me sharing your personal space? You can't disagree with her but you tell me to move fucking back?" Ishan doesn't move back. He's stubborn as a mule, especially when he's mad.

Shubhman's jaw flexes. "Move back before I lose the little control I have, Ishan." Ishan doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about. "Before I lose my control and kiss you, right now, shamelessly, without any regret, move fucking back, Ishan."

Ishan freezes all over. Shubhman seems to have realised what he said and his eyes widen and he looks panicked for a moment before taking a fortifying breath. He looks at Ishan like he could devour him.

Ishan would let him.

He moves a step closer, close enough that he can feel Shubhman's breath on his skin. Close enough that if he swayed, he'd faceplant in Shubhman's chest.

"Then lose your control before I do, Shubh."

Shubhman's eyes widen for a moment and Ishan thinks, this is it, he must have been—

He doesn't have the time to complete the thought. Shubhman is kissing him and all coherent thoughts are evaporated in his head. Oh god. Oh fucking god. Shubhman is kissing him. His hands are wrapping around Ishan and pulling him in.

It takes a moment before Ishan realises that he's kissing Shubhman.

Oh fuck. He's kissing Shubhman. He's kissing the boy he loves. He's kissing his best friend.

The thought makes him pause and pull away. They're both breathing hard and Shubhman's eyes are dark as he looks at Ishan with unashamed want. Ishan wants to kneel with the weight of want he feels from Shubhman.

"Ish." Shubhman breathes and rests his forehead against Ishan's. Ishan closes his eyes and lets him feel the weight of Shubhman's head, relaxing. "Fuck, you're everything."

A blush must had crawled up his ears. Ishan looks down. "Shubh, we need to talk."

Shubhman hums but doesn't remove his hands from Ishan. "We need to talk." Ishan says again, but he can't hide his giddy smile.

"And I'm not stopping us. Let's talk."

Stubborn mule, Ishan thinks fondly. He sobers up quickly as he hesitantly speaks. "I love you, Shubh. I've loved you as a best friend for as long as I've known you and I've loved you as something completely different for years now. This...this may not mean to you what it does to me and I don't even ask anything of you. I just want you to tell me what you feel. I'm not ruining our friendship over a kiss. I need to know what you feeling. Or we can forget this ever happened and—"

He can't speak more. He can't. Of course, if Shubhman wants, Ishan will forever continue to pretend that he feels nothing but platonic love for him and he will pretend to forget to have ever felt Shubhman kiss him. He will pretend to forget the possessive hold Shubhman still has on him and he'll live. He'll be miserable but he'll live.

Shubhman nods. His hands are still resting on Ishan's hips. "I don't particularly think I love you in a romantic sense, yet." Ishan's world shatters and he breathes out as if someone punched the air out of his chest. "But, I still fancy you. You're not some experimental adventure. The thought of crying without your shoulder, the thought of waking up without you, the thought of having anything less than what we have right now makes me want to choke. You're not a passing fancy, Ish. And I might say that I'm not completely romantically in love with you right now, but I know that I'm half way over already. The thought of anyone but you in my arms makes me want to scream."

Ishan takes a shuddering breath. It's now or never. "Would you like to go on a date with me?"

Shubhman doesn't speak anything for a moment and Ishan looks up at him searchingly only to see him grinning like a loon. "Of course, I'll go on a date with you! I've been meaning to watch this new movie—"

"No! No hostile takeover on my date, I assure you!" The response is almost instinct by now. Ishan knows Shubhman and how well he uses his puppy eyes to take over the hangout activities and do what he wants.

"Your?" He raises an eyebrow and pulls Ishan towards himself with a jerk. He barely stops himself from crashing his nose on Shubhman's chest as Shubhman continues, very amused."You mean, our?"

It makes him incredibly giddy. He nods. "Our."

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@ronika-writes-stuff hope you don't mind me tagging you and like this!

Part 2

#ishman #ishan kishan #shubhman gill #desiblr #indian men's cricket team #cricket #look i dont normally write about real life people #but it qas my best friend's birthday snd she's obessed with these two #and before anyone says anything #the girl being talked about is NOT sara Tendulkar #or any other sara for that matter #this is a made up character #suffer ye suhana nahi #desi tumblr #fanfiction

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