#now the last 40 chapters .... god what the Fuck

[lunarharp]

if i just told you i love you would this world change

#witch hat tag #orufrey #these kinda suck lol i feel like i cant draw right now *irritated sigh* BUT I FEEL EMOTIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #if you are gay go watch good omens season 2 right now. NO YOU DONT KNOW THO!!!!!!!!! #i know being this affected by good omens is probably cringe. I dont care any more. the last 1 minute of good omens season 2 was #some of the most affecting acting i've ever seen in my life. sometimes someone acts with the force as if their entire career led to that #like during the credits part the very end im not even talking about before that. holy god #aziraphale i know everything about you. i know what you are feeling right now. i can see everything on your face. we're going to make it #ER.... NOT THAT THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST. IT'S NOT SPOILERS !!!!!!!!!!!!! #I JUST FEEL THOROUGHLY CHANGED !!!!!!!!!!! SHIT GETS REAL FROM NOW ON.. LIKE IN GENERAL! IN MY LIFE! #tormented gay love tormented gay love TORMENTED GAY LOVE TORMENTED GAY LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #btw the first 3 images were drawn earlier with an entirely different feeling and an entirely different mood. #Why do you keep pulling away from me? #It is because i love you that i do this #the lyrics from one of my japanese orufrey songs (A SONG THAT THE CREATOR LISTENS TO!!!!) led to feelings #“あなたが知らない私を残さず見ててほしいの” but i'm not translating it cause it just sounds weird. if with his eyes oru's asking “WHY don't you want #to let me in? to see all of you?“ those lyrics are like ”I actually want you to see every last bit of the parts of me you don't know“ #oru you have no idea how much i want to lay bare my whole soul for you #maybe it's an alternate version of chapter 40. to me #i need to draw something really fucking good or i'm not going to forgive myself. i will not rest in this life #until i have made the orufrey that fully satisfies me nor until i have seen what the manga is leading to #NO STORY MEANS ANYTHING WITHOUT TORMENTED GAY LOVE AT THE HEART OF IT. THATS THE HEART OF THIS WORLD!!!!! #........... so Hi im normal :) haha *goes and finally makes breakfast*

[mermaidgirl30]

✨Daddy’s Best Friend, Mr. Miller Pt 3: October Surprises and Secrets Slurred ✨ dbf! Joel

Series Masterlist

-Pairing: Joel x fem! reader

-Rating: Explicit (18+ Only MDNI)

-Word Count: 13.2k

- Tags: Porn with Plot, dbf! Joel, fingering, oral, face riding, dirty talk, dom! Joel, (reader is 25, Joel is mid 40’s)

- Chapter Summary: Your relationship gets more heated with a lot more intimacy going on between you and Joel, but will you finally get caught?

- A/N: I love this series so much and can’t wait to bring you more filthy scenes between these two 🤭 Sorry not sorry this chapter is so long, it’s worth it 😉 Reblogs are appreciated and I always love seeing your comments ❤️

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

October rushes through Austin as the cool, autumn breeze whisks through your soft curls. The campus is buzzing with focused, anxious students who rush to get last minute papers and assignments in for midterms. You have been diligent and already turned in your law papers, so you’re now free of midterm anxiety, unlike the other students in your classes.

The historic, massive library is filled up with laptops splayed all over tables and empty Starbucks coffee cups that sit next to their cramped hands that struggle to keep writing in notebooks. Sunlight beams through the stained-glass windows as you pass through the library, making your way out into the cold to go find your car somewhere in the mix of all the campus traffic.

As you open the library doors, you get a shot of cold air that blows right through your purple cardigan, and you wrap it around yourself to try to keep the chill from seeping down into your bones. When you cross campus, your mind wonders to Joel and how much you want to see his handsome face right now. The thought of his massive hands cupping your chin and those pretty coffee colored eyes staring down at you make you shiver with anticipation.

Joel, Joel, Joel. He’s always on your mind, never letting a minute pass without him there. You both can’t leave each other alone, not able to go a day without speaking to one another. He always asks if you have plans after school or when your shift gets over at the coffee shop off Main Street. It’s almost like you’re a normal couple. Almost. There’s just that itch behind your ear that’s always buzzing when you’re with him. That loud, annoying ringing in your ears that reminds you that you’re sneaking around your parents, mostly your dad. You honestly have no idea how he would react to the news, so you’d hide it for as long as you could. Your mom might take it lighter, but your dad. He might actually lose it, and you do not want to see that happen.

When you get to your shining Nissan Rouge and hear the click of the unlocked door, you jump in and slam the door shut, throwing your belongings over in the passenger seat. As you put the silver key in the ignition and turn, it barely hums to life and then dies again. The glowing orange check engine light blinks in front of you, and you pound your hands on the sleek steering wheel.

“No, fuck! Please, work for me,” you beg as you turn the key and try again, praying for a miracle. The engine spurts out a pathetic, muffled sound and then magically starts up as the car hums to life once again. “Oh, thank God,” you sigh as you wipe the sweat from your forehead.

Joel. He’d know what to do. You pull out your phone and dial Joel’s number in a hurry, trying to keep your patience as you tap your nails on the black steering wheel. Joel picks up on the third ring.

“Hey there, gorgeous,” he drawls into the phone, his voice sounding like thick honey and sinking its way down into the pit of your stomach where warmth spreads.

“Hi, handsome,” you respond, a small smile spreading quickly over your face as the sound of his deep voice automatically soothes you.

“How was school? You get all your essays turned in? I don’t even have to ask, you already did. Didn’t you?” he asks with the sound of a light, raspy laugh on the end of the line.

“Just got them in today, actually,” you smile.

“Look at you gettin’ them in early. Such a smart girl, aren’t ya?” he purrs, making you bite your lip in response to the audible praise.

“Mhm,” you hum, your voice suddenly turning shaky as you look at the glowing engine light that warns you you shouldn’t be driving the car right now. Joel notices your shift in tone and responds with an edge to his voice.

“Everything alright, darlin’?” he asks concerned. It gives you goosebumps the way he’s always so protective, so careful of you.

“Umm-I’m fine, it’s just my car. My check engine light came on just now, and a few minutes ago I couldn’t even get it to start,” you respond back carefully with furrowed brows.

“Oh, shit. That ain’t good. You need a ride home? I can come get you-”

You cut him off and shake your head. “No, no. You’re at work, and my car came back on.”

“Darlin’, I don’t care that I’m at work. I don’t want ya drivin’ if it ain’t safe,” he says with a serious tone. You can tell he’s getting worked up, the way his breath falters and his sighs come out deep and clipped.

“Joel, really. I’m not that far from campus. I can make it home. Promise,” you respond with a more lighthearted response, hoping that Joel will settle with that answer.

“I don’t know if-”

You cut him off again. “Really, it’s fine. I’ll make it home,” you push.

You hear a long sigh and you can visually see him running his thick fingers through his patchy salt and pepper scruff. The vision of it makes warmth spread against your thighs as you squeeze your legs shut tight. “Fine, but I’m lookin’ at your car tomorrow and fixin’ it. S’not safe for you to be drivin’ it with your check engine light on,” he says with a raspy huff.

“Oh, you’re gonna fix it for me?” you ask with a stupid grin planted on your face.

“Mhm, gonna try my damn hardest to,” he replies as he clears his throat.

“And what do I owe you for your services, Mr. Miller?” you ask in a flirtatious voice.

You hear his low chuckle in the receiver, and it makes you giggle in response. “You don’t owe me nothin’, sweetheart. Just wanna make sure you’re safe,” he says with a light laugh. The sound makes your heart pound against your chest. Sweetheart. Safe. The words nearly take you out. He’s such a gentleman.

“Alright,” you say with a giggle. “I guess I’ll let you get back to work,” you sigh, not wanting to hang up on the handsome man that has your heart beating erratically for those gorgeous honey brown eyes.

“You be careful goin’ home, darlin’. Text me as soon as you make it there. I mean it,” he says with a serious, clipped tone.

“I promise,” you say back in a non serious tone.

“Okay. Well, I’ll talk to you later, beautiful. Remember, as soon as you get home,” he reminds you with a knowing tone in his voice.

“You got it. I’ll talk to you later,” you slur into the phone.

“Alright. Bye, gorgeous.” With that he hangs up the phone as you hear the line click dead. You throw your phone in the passenger seat and turn up the radio as Breaking Benjamin blares through the loud speakers. You nod your head to the beat and start to drive off, praying the car gets you there in one piece.

The glowing check engine light stays on the entire drive home, but you make it back safely. You park the car in the hooded garage and turn off the engine, letting it sit idle in the cool room. Whenever you make it through the door, you run straight into your dad as he almost spills his hot coffee all over his pressed white shirt.

“Shit, sorry dad! Didn’t see you there,” you apologize with frantic hands that steady the coffee cup in his hand.

“Careful now, I have a Zoom meeting in five minutes!” he sighs with the hint of agitation in his voice.

“Sorry, dad,” you apologize again.

Before you head to your room, you turn and tell your dad about your messed up car. “Oh, dad, before I forget to tell you. Joel’s coming over tomorrow to take a look at my car. The check engine light came on, and he’s gonna try to fix it for me,” you say lightly.

“Why didn’t you just ask me first? I could’ve taken a look. You sure asked Joel pretty quick there,” he says with his eyebrow raised and the hint of suspicion in there.

You gulp and try not to let your widening eyes give you away. “Oh, uhhh. I just thought you’d be too busy to take a look at it, and you know how good he is with fixing cars,” you shrug innocently.

“And you thought he’d be less busy than me tomorrow?” he asks with the tic of his jaw and wondering eyes staring questionably at you.

Your heart is in your chest and you feel the faint drops of sweat forming on your forehead. “I mean, I just didn’t want to bother you is all. Figured once I told you then you’d just tell me to ask Joel anyways,” you lie with a straight face, keeping your composure together.

He looks at you a few seconds and then nods, face relaxing a little. “Yeah, you’re definitely right, hun. That’s exactly what I would’ve done. Alright, well I need to hop on this call, so I’ll see you later.”

He turns into the direction of his office and you round the corner into the entryway and relax against the wall, breathing out a long sigh of relief. That was close. Too close for comfort.

You head up the stairs and back into your bedroom filled with lilac walls and scents of vanilla and citrus hanging in the air. Apartments. You need to find an apartment and fast.

The air is stuffy and hot in the garage, even though the autumn breeze blows gently outside as it carries red and golden leaves across the driveway. You’re wearing a light blue hoodie and cut off black denim shorts while you sit atop the wooden workbench in your garage. You gently kick your dangling legs off the side of the workbench and stare at the most gorgeous man working on your car. Joel Miller.

You watch the way he picks apart every single wire and car part he can get his hands on. His tousled dark curls sit slicked back against the top of his head by sweat that cakes his forehead, his grey t-shirt bunches around his thick arms every time he flexes and reaches under the hood, and his hands stay covered in grease and dirt from tearing apart your car piece by piece.

You can’t help but gawk at how ridiculously hot he is right now, can’t help the way you bite your lower lip seductively and run your tongue across the bottom of your lip in hopes to get a taste of him. You start to wonder what it’d be like to be bent over the hood of your car while he takes you from the back, start to imagine how good it’d feel to have his thick cock between your slick center as he fucks you senseless into oblivion. Can’t help the burning need in between your thighs as you squeeze your legs together and choke down a moan as slick starts to pool in the center of your lacy underwear.

“You alright there, darlin’?” he asks with concern hinting in his voice as he washes his hands in the garage sink, stepping closer to you as he wipes his hands off on a bunched up rag. “You look a little flushed there,” he says as he steps in front of you, just a few inches from meeting your knees.

“Umm, yeah. I’m fine. Just got a little hot, I guess,” you gasp out, nervously panting as your jaw drops open.

He slides up to you and stops right in front of your thighs, locking his knees up with yours as his t-shirt sticks against his broad chest and bulging biceps. You can’t help but stare at him and his pretty brown eyes with flecks of gold that sneak out and catch you unawarely. You want to run your fingers through his messy greying hair, want to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him until you taste every single part of him as you unravel yourself around him.

“Why don’t you close your jaw, sweetheart. Gonna start drooling if you keep it up,” he smirks as he cups your chin and helps you close. You swallow away all the heat and try to calm yourself as he stands before you, but you can’t. He’s too much, too fucking much.

“Sorry, couldn’t help it,” you say flirtatiously as you bat your long eyelashes at him, feeling your blush paint the edges of your cheeks crimson.

“You gonna tell me what you were thinkin’ about?” he asks with the tic of his jaw, leaning his weight against the bench as his hand gently brushes your hip.

“I was just thinking how hot you looked leaning over the hood of my car. And your messy curls, how I want to run my fingers through them right about now,” you smile as he leans against you, taking his other hand and placing it against the top of your thigh as he gently runs his rough hand down to your knee.

“Oh, yeah? S’that right?” he laughs as he takes his other hand and pushes your thighs apart, stepping in between them as he runs calloused fingers up and down your smooth skin, turning your breaths ragged from the heat of his massive hands on you.

“Mhm,” you choke out, already worked up from his light flirting and the weight of his thick fingers on you.

“What else were ya thinkin’ about, hmmm?” he hums out, his eyes growing darker by the second.

“I was thinking…” you start as you run your fingers through his damp curls, making him groan as your nails scrape lightly against his scalp. “How good it’d feel if you fucked me on the hood of my car,” you purr, whispering into his ear seductively. You feel the bulge in his jeans already starting to form, feel how turned on he’s getting at the thought of you spread wide open for him on the top of your car.

“Christ, baby. Such a dirty girl, aren’t ya? Wantin’ me to fuck you senseless while I make you cum all over my cock. That’s what you want, ain’t it? To make you scream my name while I make you cum again and again and again…”

His voice lowers with a growl as he wraps his hands around your hips and drags you forward, ending right on the edge of the workbench as your legs clench around his back, his hands moving over the denim of your shorts as he snakes a hand up under the material, finding your soaked lace absolutely ruined for him.

You choke out a moan as he dips his fingers under your lace, slowly spreading your folds as his thumb finds your clit and circles you meticulously, stifling another moan out of you as you dig your fingers into his back and wrap your legs tighter around him.

“So fuckin’ wet for me, sweetheart. Such a good girl. Always ready for me. Always so needy, ain’t that right?” he smirks as he continues circling you, making your heels dig into his back as you slide a hand through his messy curls and drop your lips to the shell of his ear. Ragged moans leave your lips as he pushes two fingers inside your dripping hole while his thumb continues dancing over your throbbing bundle of nerves.

“Feels so good, daddy,” you pant, biting down on his earlobe as you hold in a loud moan while he circles you faster, getting you all worked up over him. You hear the sloshing noises of your wetness and his fingers pumping in and out of you, and it’s so fucking hot that more slick slides down your center as you start to come apart around him. You’re so close, almost there already.

“That’s right, baby. Daddy’s gonna make it all better,” he coos, curling up his fingers inside you as he hits the spongy part of your walls that elicit another moan deep into his ear as your toes curl in your Converse.

“Joellll,” you whine into his ear, dragging your fingers against the curls that sit matted to the back of his neck.

“What is it, baby? Can’t handle daddy’s fingers, huh?” he teases as his lips ghost across yours effortlessly. “Tell daddy what you want,” he smirks, speeding up the shift of his thumb against your aching clit.

“Want you…. oh, God,” you moan as he curls his fingers inside you nice and slow, moving them up further as you latch around him tighter.

“Go on, finish your sentence,” he smirks with clenched teeth as he works you over nice and thoroughly.

“Want you to fuck me,” you whine against the shell of his ear.

He clicks his tongue and shakes his head. “Can’t fuck you here, sweetheart. Don’t want your father findin’ you with my cock buried deep in that wet pussy now, do ya?”

You whine out as your breathing becomes hard to control, tattered moans filling his ear like a choir of angels. “No, don’t want that,” you gasp out, your fingers tangled in knots against the back of his soft t-shirt. “I want you though. Want you so fucking bad,” you groan as he continues building slick around his thick fingers.

“Wanna put this hard cock inside that pretty pussy of yours. Wanna fuck you so hard over this bench right now that you won’t be able to stand for the rest of the night. Wanna cum inside that drippin’ pussy while you moan my name as I take you from the back,” he growls as he fucks his fingers up inside you deeper, hitting the spongy area again and again as you feel your orgasm about to take flight.

“Want you to moan my name so loud when I make you cum that everyone in the neighborhood knows just who you belong to,” he growls with clenched teeth as he presses down harder on your clit, rubbing it in just the right area that you feel yourself start to spill. You feel the white hot heat start to take over as your eyes roll back and you clench up against his fingers that continuously curl up inside you.

“Joel, I’m… I’m coming,” you moan as you bite down on the scruff of his jaw, feeling your orgasm wash over you as you close your eyes and bite back your moan as you let him have it.

“That’s it, baby. Such a good fuckin’ girl. So good for me,” he praises as you take a few seconds to come out of your blissed out daze, his fingers gently releasing out of you as he brings them up to his mouth and sucks, staring at you with blown out pupils. Your eyes go wide as you watch him drink down your cum, humming to himself as he licks them clean.

“Taste s’good, darlin’. Can never get enough of you,” he purrs as he pulls your drenched underwear back over your cunt and straightens your shorts out again. You grab the back of his neck and pull him toward you, planting your lips over his as the taste of sweat, black coffee, and you enter your mouth. He wraps his hands around your hips and slithers his tongue into your mouth, letting you taste all of him as his senses envelop you, sweat and all.

Before you can get lost in him anymore, you hear the jostle of the doorknob and the squeaking hinges as the garage door starts to open. Joel jumps back out of your reach and grabs the bottle of synthetic oil off the back of the shelf, drawing his dark eyes away from you as you compose yourself with a quick breath and legs that clash together.

Your dad looks up at you with concerned eyes and purses his lips. “Honey, you feeling okay? Your face is all flushed and your eyes are so wide they look bloodshot.”

Your blood runs cold as you gulp down your nerves and flick your eyes over to Joel, watching as he stares at your idle car as he runs a hand nervously up the back of his neck. “I’m okay, dad. Just got a little too hot is all,” you say as you fan yourself with your hand, trying to get rid of the flush of your crimson cheeks.

“Oh, sorry about that sweetie. Want me to get you a bottle of water?” he asks with a gentle nod your way.

“Yeah. Thanks, dad.”

“Alright, honey. Be back in a minute.” He turns to Joel and slaps him on the back in a way that best friends only do. “How’s the car looking? Figure out what’s wrong?” he asks as he looks around the open hood of the car.

Joel loosens the top of the oil and sets it down beside the front wheel. “Yeah, there seemed to be some loose wires that got tangled around each other. I fixed ‘em. The serpentine belt looks to be pretty worn out, so I can stop at the hardware store tomorrow and get a new one. Should be an easy fix. And the car needs an oil change, so I’ll get that done real quick. Then it should be good to drive smoothly,” he says as he plays with the used towel in his hands.

“I can’t thank you enough for doing this, Joel. You sure do take care of my little girl,” he smiles in thanks.

Joel smiles back and chuckles. “Anything for your daughter, George. I always got her back.” He turns your direction and winks at you secretly, making your cheeks turn bright red at the secret meaning behind his words.

“You’re a good man, Joel Miller. Maybe one of these days I can get you to go on a date with one of Claire’s friends. Trust me, some of her friends already drool over you. Should ask one of them out. Could use a woman around the house. Maybe get you laid one of these days,” he teases as he claps a strong hand over Joel’s back.

Joel’s fists clench and his lips twitch at the mention of dating other women. You won’t lie, you feel a heavy weight against your chest and the tinge of jealousy runs hot down your throat. Joel would do no such thing. Mine.

“Nah, man. Thanks for the offer though. I’m good,” he responds. A breath you had been holding blows out, the wave of jealousy washing away as soon as he says the words.

“You sure? Wouldn’t hurt to at least have a night in with one of them. How long has it been, huh?”

“Dad!” you say forcefully, making both of them look your direction as you dig your nails into the wood, jaw locked into place. “Water?” you ask as you raise your eyebrows.

“Right, sorry. Be back in a minute.” With that he races back inside and slams the door shut.

“So, my dad’s trying to hook you up with one of my mom’s friends?” you ask with a raised eyebrow, mostly joking around with him.

“Don’t worry, darlin’. Already have my best girl right here,” he nods your way, curling his lips into a crooked smile. You can’t help but smile back at him and melt at his words. My best girl.

“That’s right. I’m your girl,” you say possessively.

“Damn straight you are,” he smirks, making butterflies flit through your stomach.

Your dad comes back with a cold bottle of water and leaves the two of you alone again, closing the door to go answer a phone call. As you let the fresh water quench your thirst, you watch Joel meander his way under your car, taking his time to change your oil out. You watch his soft t-shirt lift up just a tad, exposing thick dark hair that trails underneath the waistband of his jeans.

It takes everything in you not to go over and straddle him as he works, slipping your hand underneath his jeans as you pull his hard cock out and go down on him, taking him in your mouth nice and slow as you make his ropes of cum slide down the back of your throat. You hold back the temptation, knowing you can’t do that here. Not when your dad’s lurking around the corner of the house.

You sigh and watch him work, making light conversation with him as he puts the cap back on and crawls out from underneath the car. Grease stains his grey t-shirt, and he has a smudge of grease across his nose.

“Joel, come here. You’re a mess,” you giggle as you grab a towel from the metal shelf and jump down off the workbench, going over to stand in front of him. You wipe off the grease from his nose and wipe off his hands next, making sure you get off as much as you can.

“Baby, I could’ve done that,” he smiles as he grabs the towel from you, wiping off what he can from his ruined shirt.

“It’s fine, I wanted to help,” you shrug.

He looks at the grease stain on his finger for a second then back up at you, mischief written all over those hazy brown eyes.

You back up against the wall and raise an eyebrow. “What are you planning, Miller?” you ask suspiciously, holding in a laugh as you see the playful smirk pulling at his lips.

“Me, planning? Never,” he scoffs, the smirk planting firmly against the corners of his mouth. In a flash he cages you against the wall with his thick arms and smears some grease on your jawline. Your eyes go wide as he does it.

“Joel!” you whine as you push against his chest playfully. “That’s not funny,” you say as a giddy laugh escapes your throat.

“It ain’t funny, huh? Then why are you laughing?” he asks as a deep chuckle ruptures from his chest.

“Get it off, now,” you demand playfully as you try to grab the used tan towel from him. He grabs it back from you.

“I got it, I got it,” he laughs as he uses the pristine end of the towel to clean off the grease from your jawline. When he promises he got it, he throws the towel up on the workbench as you reel him in for a kiss. His lips are soft, plush, and they taste like Joel.

“Oh, that reminds me. I got somethin’ for ya,” he says as he breaks the kiss, digging around the back pocket of his dark faded jeans.

“You got me something?” you ask with a surprised lilt to your voice.

“Mhm,” he hums as he grabs his leather wallet and opens it up, digging around to find what he’s looking for.

“What’s the occasion?” you ask curiously, watching him dig around excitedly as his thick fingers push around old receipts and folded up papers.

“Don’t have to be an occasion to get ya somethin’, darlin’,” he chuckles. “But this is kind of an early birthday present, since your birthday’s next month.” He finally finds what he’s looking for and pulls out two tickets that have a matte gloss covering both sides. You flip them over and your eyes go wide at what the tickets say. Two general admission tickets to see Ghost at the Moody Center on November fourteenth sit carefully in your hands. You gulp back tears as you stand frozen in awe as you stare at the glossy tickets.

“Joel…” you gasp out, your eyes probably as wide as an owl right now.

“Thought you’d like ‘em. I know how much you’ve wanted to see ‘em for a long time. Took me a while to find out when they were gonna come to town, so I jumped at the chance when I saw ‘em post new tour dates. And Breaking Benjamin is gonna be their opener. I know how much you like them too and…”

You jump into his arms and wrap your hands around his neck as you thank him over and over again for the best gift ever. You grab his shirt and pull him in for a long kiss as you run your hands through his tousled curls. When you break the kiss, you stand back to look at him in his pretty face as your arms stay wrapped around his neck.

“You’re gonna take me to go see Ghost?” you ask sweetly with big eyes that water faintly.

“I’m gonna take ya to see Ghost,” he nods with a crooked smile as he looks down at you with brown doe eyes that you want to sink right into as they swallow you whole.

You pull him in for another long hug as his strong arms wrap around your waist. “You’re the sweetest, Joel,” you say as you plant your lips on his cheek, staying in his embrace for as long as you can.

“Anything for my girl,” he smiles as he cups your chin, bringing his lips down on yours again. When he pulls back, he keeps his calloused thumb trailing against your jawline, making you dizzy with lovesick thoughts.

“Hey, what’re you doin’ for Halloween?” he asks as he keeps his coffee eyes focused on you, his thumb trailing light circles across your cheekbone.

“I didn’t really have any plans. Sometimes my friends will drag me out to the bars or we’ll find a Halloween party to go to. How come?” you ask, eyebrows raised in curiosity.

“Umm well, you wanna come over to my place? We could watch some scary movies, make some popcorn, order a pizza. I know how much you like those classic horror movies. Would be nice to have some company,” he smiles shyly as the corners of his mouth rise up into a crooked grin. He’s perfect, so perfect.

“Joel Miller asking me to watch scary movies? You don’t even really like them,” you laugh as you hang around his neck, his left hand digging deeper into the side of your hip.

“Yeah, well. You rub off on me a lot. And besides, anything to make my girl happy. I jus’ like spending time with you is all, darlin’,” he drawls, his eyes glistening with flecks of light and dark brown mixing together to make a pretty coffee color. His crooked smile makes a dimple press against his cheek, and the lines against his eyes crinkle into complete warmth that fills the hard lines in his face. You think he’s the prettiest man you’ve ever seen in your life. Because he is.

“Joel… you leave me speechless. Truly. I’m so, so lucky to have you. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted,” you gush to him as you rest your forehead against his.

“No, darlin’. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted.”

You stifle out a laugh and bring your lips down slowly over his, this kiss more slow and romantic than all the other ones. Who would’ve thought you and Joel Miller would’ve ever been a thing? But here you are. Completely and utterly wrapped up in each other, and you just can’t get enough.

You hear the jiggle of the door handle and see the door opening fast into the garage. You jump out of Joel’s grasp and take a few steps back, separating the distance between him even though it’s getting harder to act like the two of you aren’t completely crazy for each other. You’re out of breath, still dizzy from all the emotions of the last few minutes with Joel. And he looks the same, pupils dilated and a flushed face as he looks up at your father.

Your father stops and puts on his glasses to take a closer look. “Joel, you feeling okay? Your face is flushed too. You good?” he asks as he hands Joel a water.

“Yeah. Just got up too fast from under the car. Should be fine,” he nods as he flicks his eyes over to you, the look of affection returning to his brown doe eyes you can’t get enough of.

“Alright, well dinner’s ready if you wanna stay. She made chicken enchiladas tonight, so pretty sure you’ll wanna stay,” he laughs.

“Sure, wouldn’t miss those,” Joel nods as your dad smiles back at him.

“Well, come on. Come and get it while it’s hot.” Your dad turns toward the door and goes through, leaving it open for you and Joel to follow.

Joel takes your hand in his discreetly and leads you through, rubbing the pad of his calloused thumb against the back of your hand, making you feel all tingly and giddy inside. Before he drops your hand, he brushes your knuckles with his lips and places a slow kiss against the back of your hand. You blush on the spot and smile up at him as he returns one back, and then he drops your hand as he walks into the light of the dining room.

Fuck. You have it bad for Joel Miller and you’re falling fast. Very fast.

Halloween Night

You spend the entirety of the afternoon getting ready for your night in with Joel. You shower, douse yourself in Victoria’s Secret Bombshell perfume, and pick out the perfect Halloween costume to wear. You go with a short black mini dress that barely grazes your thighs, the long sleeves hanging off your shoulder that leave your neck and the tops of your shoulders exposed to the cool air.

You carefully fix your hair into loose spiral curls and secure a long pink bow in the back of your silky hair. You apply shimmery pink eyeshadow to the hoods of your eyelids, draw perfect cat eyes with liquid eyeliner, and purse your lips after applying the shiny pink lip gloss. After slipping on a pair of black heels, you look at yourself in the full length mirror and grab the pair of fuzzy black cat ears as you top off your costume. Joel’s going to lose his mind when he sees you in this getup.

After nervously driving over to his house, you now stand on the front of his porch and wait for him to come open the door after you ring the doorbell. You pull on your sleeves, your legs shaking as the cold evening wind hits your bare legs. After a few seconds he opens the door and pulls it back.

“Hey, sweetheart. You…” His voice cuts off as his brown eyes go wide as he lets out a low whistle, slowly taking in your figure from head to toe.

You twirl around slowly for him, letting him see all of you and watch him fall apart. “Trick r treat,” you smirk. “Gonna give me something sweet to eat?” you purr, batting your dark lashes up at him sweetly.

You hear him curse quietly under his breath and watch him rake his hand slowly over his patchy beard. “Goddamn, darlin’. Such a pretty little kitty cat. And that dress, fuck,” he bites out as he gazes his dark eyes over your long legs. “Prettiest girl that ever stood in my doorway, that’s for sure. C’mere,” he calls as he grabs your waist and pulls you into his broad chest, pressing his lips against yours as you chase the taste of his black coffee scent you so desperately love.

When you pull away you click your tongue at him. “Thought you were supposed to have a costume on today?” you say with a raised brow, playfully pushing at his chest.

“This is my costume,” he replies with an amused expression on his face.

Your eyes trail down him slowly. He wears a Halloween black t-shirt, an open red flannel, and dark blue jeans that form against his muscular thighs. You shake your head and pull off your cat ears, placing them over his tousled dark curls as you position it to balance on his head perfectly.

You laugh as you take in the big, strong man with the fluffy cat ears on. “There. Now you have a costume on,” you giggle as he just shakes his head and pulls you inside while he shuts the door behind him.

“Funny, very funny,” he chuckles, a dimple forming against his cheek which makes you only melt more for him. “Wanna take ‘em back now?”

“Nope,” you shake your head, holding a laugh in as you watch him examine his face in the mirror, sighing as he takes in the fuzzy ears atop his head.

“I look ridiculous,” he groans, crossing his arms over his chest as his biceps pull at the red flannel, making you anxious to curl up against them on the couch.

“No, you’re adorable,” you respond, lingering your hand against his soft t-shirt as you curl your hand around it.

“Don’t think so, darlin’. That’s all you. You gorgeous girl,” he says with a low drawl, his caramel eyes honing in as he backs you up against the wooden staircase, wrapping his arms around your waist tightly. Before he leans in, the front door twists open and he pulls away from you in a hurry, putting as much distance between the two of you before Sarah walks in.

Your eyes grow wide as you weren’t expecting her to be here tonight. Sarah gasps as her eyes flick from you to Joel, clearly confused on what’s going on. Her long curls fall over her shoulders as she stands in a Cowboys jersey and black yoga pants with war paint smeared across her cheeks.

She says your name with questions ringing in her tone. “What are you doing here? On Halloween? Shouldn’t you be at a party or something?” she asks as she looks over your outfit carefully, her eyes going over to Joel as she takes in the cat ears that sit perched atop his head.

“Uh dad, why are you wearing those?” she asks as a giggle sounds loudly across the lit up hall.

He throws the ears off and hands them back to you, running a hand through his messy curls as he works to stay composed. “Don’t worry about it,” he says defensively. “And she came over so I could work on her car,” he confirms.

“But you just fixed her car a few days ago?” she says with raised brows, her eyes flicking back and forth between you and him.

“Uhhh yeah. But the light came back on this morning, so I brought it over. Joel said he could take a look real quick. I was just about to head back out. Shouldn’t take too long,” you say with a calm, collected demeanor, giving nothing away.

She eyes you both suspiciously and finally nods. “Okay then. Whatever you say,” she rolls her eyes. “But anyways, look at you! That outfit is so hot, my dad would never let me wear anything like that,” she pouts, crossing her arms over the orange jersey as it scrunches up underneath her.

“Maybe when you’re thirty,” he teases. She just shakes her head and sticks her tongue out at him. He chuckles out a deep laugh in response.

“Whateverrrrr,” she drawls out. She turns back to you and beams her pearly white smile as her curls bounce up and down as she moves. “Bet you’ve got all the boys wrapped around your finger in that outfit,” she smirks out. Joel’s eyes grow a shade darker as he focuses on you, trying his best not to say a word in response.

“Oh, I don’t know about that. Maybe just one,” you smirk, your eyes flicking over to his brown irises as you face Sarah again, careful not to give anything away.

“Oooooo you have a boyfriend? Why haven’t I met him? Is he cute? Is he a good kisser?!” she yells excitedly as she hounds you for information.

“Sarah!” Joel warns, telling her to calm down as his eyes narrow over her.

“Sorry,” she whines, giving you a small smile as you return one to her.

“What are you doin’ back here? Thought you were goin’ to your friend’s to go trick r treatin’?” he asks with raised brows, hands on his hips as his jaw clenches up.

“I am. Just forgot to grab my purse,” she says as she reaches around you and grabs her purple over the shoulder purse and heads back to the door. “Alright, heading back out. Guess I’ll see you sometime soon?” she asks as she looks over at you behind her shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m sure you will,” you nod her way, waving a quick goodbye to her.

“Sarah?” Joel calls before she heads out the door.

“Yeah?” she asks before closing the door.

“Not too late, alright?” Joel says with his brows furrowed together.

“Yeah, be back before midnight,” she promises.

“Sarah?” he calls out again, making her groan at the name.

“Huh?”

“Love you,” he says softly, his eyes crinkling at the corners as his face relaxes into happiness.

She smiles gently and nods. “Love you too, dad.” With that she closes the door and runs off to the burgundy Cadillac that awaits her out front.

You can’t help but smile at Joel, butterflies flitting through your stomach as you take in his soft side. He’s always so careful and gentle with Sarah, always telling her how much he loves her. He’s such a softie, and you can’t help but fall for him even more as you watch him.

“What?” he asks as he snakes his arms around your waist, backing you up against the stairwell again.

“You’re such a softie,” you smile as you wrap your arms around his neck while you run your fingers through the scruff on his neck.

“Only for Sarah and you,” he grins, dropping his lips down to yours as you drink him in again, feeling every surface of his plush lips against yours.

He breaks the kiss after a few seconds and pulls you into the living room. “C’mon. I’ll get the movie started then I’ll call in a pizza for us. Pepperoni?” he asks as he leads you over to the cream colored couch and sits you down against the soft cushions.

“Pepperoni,” you nod. He turns on the tv and pulls his phone out, heading into the kitchen as he calls Pizza Hut and places an order to be delivered to the house.

You take in your surroundings of the darkened room. Vanilla candles sit sprawled against the glass coffee table, the large display of the tv glows in the near distance as the menu comes up for the movie Scream. You hear Joel in the other room hang up the phone as he places it down on the counter.

“You want some popcorn, baby?” he asks from the other room, his voice carrying into the living room like a song you want to put on repeat.

“Mhm and a Dr. Pepper, please,” you call back.

“I gotcha, baby. Be right there.”

When the popcorn is done popping and the cans of soda are taken out of the fridge, he joins you on the couch and places one hand on your thigh as the other one presses play on the remote, making the movie hum to life as the beginning titles show across the lit up screen.

You take a sip of Dr. Pepper and pop some popcorn into your mouth as the buttery taste slides down your throat conveniently. You curl your legs onto the couch and fold yourself against Joel, letting your arms wrap around him as his arm flexes behind you. He pulls you tight to his side as his hand runs gently up and down your arm, causing your body to fully relax against him as you breathe in his cologne and woodsy scent. He smells like a piece of heaven, your piece of heaven.

He takes a drink of his Dr. Pepper and places it on the coffee table, leaning back into you as he adjusts himself into the back of the cushions and lays a soft kiss against the top of your head, making you melt beneath him.

When the scene of Ghostface asking Casey what her favorite scary movie is comes up, Joel mimics his voice and asks you the same thing in a more southern, non scary tone. “What’s your favorite scary movie?” he asks mysteriously as you giggle into his chest.

“You should know this one,” you answer back, eyes flicking up to his as he looks you over carefully before responding.

“Halloween,” he answers automatically.

“Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner,” you yell out, pulling a laugh from deep within his chest as you hear it rumble against your ear.

“Knew it,” he says proudly. “And what’s mine?”

You lay your head in his lap and look up at him, deep brown eyes staring down at you as he awaits your answer. He’s so pretty that it physically hurts. “Joel, The Lord of the Rings does not count as a scary movie,” you laugh out as he smiles down at you.

“Sure it does. It has spiders, orcs, dark themes.”

You push his chest playfully. “It’s fantasy. This is a scary movie,” you remark as you point to the tv, watching Ghostface chase his victim across the yard.

“Yeah, well. Still,” he vocalizes with a sigh. “Would you watch all of ‘em with me?” he asks faintly, his chocolate eyes glazing down to yours.

You turn to him and nod. “Of course I would. I’d watch amything with you,” you reply with a smile.

The corners of his lips curl up into a soft smile and he leans down and kisses you without holding back at all. He tangles his fingers in your curls and you open your mouth up, allowing him to slide his tongue into your mouth as he finds your tongue, dancing around as you drink down the taste of him slowly, passionately.

One hand slides down to your thigh as he grazes calloused fingers up and down your inner thigh, making you breathe heavier as he bites at your lower lip, heating up the room as the two of you start to get lost in each other. His hand reaches up, up, gently sliding the edge of your dress up your thigh, working his way nice and slow to where he wants to be. To your aching center that yearns for his touch.

Before he can make it any further, the doorbell rings, forcing the two of you apart as you lift up off his lap. He sighs as he pushes off the couch, muttering something under his breath that sounds like a complaint of interrupting him when he was busy with you. You giggle at his ramblings and wait till he comes back.

You hear the exchange of pizza and money and can smell the fresh cheese and pepperoni that wafts through the air of the dark living room. After another minute, Joel comes in and sets the pizza on the coffee table, telling you to eat up. You grab a slice and take a bite, letting the warm goodness fill your stomach as you set your eyes on the movie again, trying to keep focus on that instead of the handsome menace of a man that sits next to you.

“So, what’s so attractive about a killer that wears a mask? I don’t get it. With all the viral videos of masked men goin’ around, I don’t get the fuss. I even catch Sarah’s friends talking ‘bout it sometimes.” Joel shakes his head and takes another bite out of his pepperoni slice.

You giggle in response. “I don’t know. Guess that’s kind of a part of the dark romance culture now and can be kinda thrilling? A masked man in the bedroom. I mean, I get why they like it. It’s just something new and intriguing, a little dangerous, exciting even…” You stop there, not wanting to give away that you too might have a mask kink.

“Oh, is that right?” Joel smirks deviously, one of his eyebrows rising higher as he looks directly at you. “You into that shit, too?” he asks curiously as he takes his last bite, lapping his tongue along his lower lip and wiping away the last evidence of red sauce from his mouth. You try your best not to bite your lip, wanting to lick every single scrap of sauce off him slowly.

“I mean, I get the hype. Guess it would be kind of hot,” you blush, looking down at your lap to hide the crimson of your cheeks.

“I knew it,” he says as he claps a big hand on his thigh in knowing. “So you’re saying if I ever bought one of those dumb masks, you’d want me to wear it in the bedroom?” he asks as his eyebrows go up curiously while his hand digs into the back of the couch forcefully.

“I think I’d just prefer to see your handsome face, Joel. Besides, I don’t see you doing that anyways,” you laugh and hit him playfully in the shoulder.

“You’re right, darlin’. Don’t think I’d do that either,” he chuckles.

“But,” you lean into his chest and press your glossy lips to the shell of his ear seductively. “Think I’d let you put me in some handcuffs though,” you purr out as you tug on his earlobe and pull back with a sly smirk on your face.

You see the way his pupils expand and the way his chest rises and falls deeper as the blood flows thicker in the veins of his neck. You see the way he adjusts himself on the couch and clears his raspy throat. You started something, and now he’ll have to finish it.

You smile to yourself triumphantly and turn to face the tv, scooting up to the edge as you reach for your Dr. Pepper and take a refreshing sip, setting it back down on the glass coffee table when you’re done.

You hear Joel’s voice come out raspy and deep behind you. “Is that right, sweetheart? You’d let me handcuff those pretty wrists to my headboard?”

You squirm on the edge of the couch and press your legs together, feeling the heat start in your center like a volcano that’s about to rupture. “Mhmm,” you hum out carefully, trying to suppress a moan from coming out of your throat.

“Hmmm.” He leans over and presses his lips against the shell of your ear, his hot breath breathing down your neck and making you feel things you can’t control. “Think I need to go buy a pair of handcuffs then, sweetheart. Show you all the ways I can make you cum while you’re tied to my bed. What do ya think of that, huh? Sounds… erotic as hell,” he whispers darkly in your ear, leaving you panting for more as you keep your eyes focused on the movie on the big screen, watching Ghostface run down the stairs after his next victim mercilessly. He presses a gentle kiss against your cheek and scoots back into the couch, leaving you breathless and wanting.

Just when you think he’s done teasing you, he starts playing with your pink ribbon and runs his hands through your long waves, making your heartbeat gallop like the hooves of a racing Clydesdale against his touch.

“Such a pretty pink ribbon in your hair, baby,” he teases, starting to tug on your hair harder now as he pulls lightly on the curls.

“Mhm, it is,” you reply with a breath held.

“You know I love when you do your hair like this, in these curls. So long and soft to the touch. Can easily do this.” He tugs your head back and pushes you down into the couch. Your hands grip the side of the couch while your ass is up in the air, exposing all for Joel to see.

You feel his hands raise your skirt up to your hips, exposing the meaty flesh of your ass as you feel the cool air brush against the backs of your bare thighs. You hear Joel hum out in approval as he fixes his massive hands over your ass, one hand trailing down as his fingers brush the soaked material of your lace which makes a groan escape your lips.

“White lace, huh? Looks s’good on you, sweetheart. Already so wet for me, ain’t ya? Look at you drip, so fuckin’ wet, baby. Goddamn,” he whistles as he takes his thumb and trails a long line down your center, gathering more slick against the material. You whine out and he chuckles lightly.

“S’right, baby. Gonna make you really whine in a minute,” he murmurs as he slides the wet lace down your legs, gently unclasping your black heels and dropping them to the floor as he unhooks the lace from around your ankles and disposes them on the ground, leaving you completely bare for him to look at.

He slides his calloused thumb over your wetness, and you shiver with need. “Joel, please,” you beg, another whine purring out of you as you feel the pad of his thumb ghost across your clit, leaving you with a pent up cry in your chest.

“What do ya need, baby? Tell me,” he asks, barely touching your folds with the tops of his fingertips which makes you clench up over nothing.

“Need your fingers, your mouth,” you beg, your voice high-pitched from want. With need.

“That so, darlin’?” he teases as he spreads your folds with the tips of his index and middle finger, sliding them up until you can feel them pressed against your clit, drawing slow, meticulous circles as you hear the wetness gathering on his fingers.

“Oh, fuck,” you moan as you dig your fingers into the side of the couch, clawing your light pink fingernails as a way to get ahold of yourself before you’re lost into a sea of lust.

“S’right, sweetheart. I know exactly what you need,” he coos.

Before he takes it any further, he drops his hand from your center and lays back against the couch, leaving you out of breath and waiting. “Why’d you stop?” you whine as you turn in the direction he’s in and see him smirking up at you with trouble written all over his face.

“C’mere,” he calls as he curls his index finger in his direction, beckoning you to come over to him.

You look questionably at him and raise a brow. “What?” you ask as you slowly scoot your legs over his, dropping down on his hips carefully.

He clicks his tongue and shakes his head. “Not there, sweetheart. Up here,” he smirks as he points to his face. Your eyes go wide at the meaning.

“You want me to…” you trail off, unable to finish your sentence.

“S’right. Want you to sit on my face. C’mon now,” he smirks, a devilish grin taking over his face as his eyes grow dark. He places his hands on your hips as he slides you up his broad chest, stopping just before you get to his neck. You pause right there, blushing as all of a sudden you get extremely nervous.

“Joel…” you choke out, unable to finish your sentence.

“Don’t be shy, baby,” he says gently, lifting your dress above your hips as it exposes your bareness for him. He drags his eyes down your center and licks his lips, his eyes blown out as you feel his breath pick up beneath his chest. “Such a pretty pussy, baby. Drippin’ and screamin’ my name,” he groans as his eyes devour you in full. “C’mon now. Sit on my face,” he demands.

You gulp and scoot your hips up, hovering just above his mouth as you stay there, nervous and turned on at the same time.

“I didn’t say hover, sweetheart. I said sit,” he demands, digging his hands into your hips as he tries to lower you down, but you hold back, afraid to crush him.

“But won’t I crush you?” you ask with your breath caught in your throat.

“The only thing that’s gonna crush me is if you don’t sit the fuck down and ride on my face. Now sit!” he growls as he forces your weight down on top of him, the curls above your mound sitting atop his curved nose as he breathes you in deeply.

He inhales your savoury scent and drags his rough tongue all the way from your dripping hole to the tops of your folds, catching the end of your clit as you whine out with need.

“Goddamn, baby. Taste and smell s’good, darlin’. Hold on tight. Not gonna stop till I make you cum all over my face, not gonna stop till you moan my name, not gonna stop till you’re all mine,” he growls as he hooks his arms around your thighs and dives back in.

He slowly drags his tongue over all of you, slotting himself between your folds and lapping meticulous circles around your puffy clit. You feel more slick spill out of you and feel him take your bundle of nerves into his mouth, sucking and slurping as every single nerve ending comes alive against his mouth. When he releases, he shoves his tongue into your wet hole, plunging into your core as you vibrate and fall apart against him.

You twist your fingers into his tousled curls and moan his name with a lull, lost in complete bliss as he works his tongue up and down up and down, making the room foggy with the smell of your arousal and the loud moans you’re giving him. “Joellll, fuck,” you moan as you pull at his hair, sliding yourself up and down his mouth as you ride his face exactly like he wants you to.

He groans at your movements, groans at the way you tug on his curls as his tongue works and works to make you fall apart around him. He slaps your ass hard and digs his nails into your thighs as he speeds up his hot tongue.

He’s pulling, sucking, munching at your clit as you feel the building orgasm. You feel it start in your spine, sliding down to rest in the pit of your stomach as you’re almost there, feel it about to take flight as your toes curl and your fingers slip deeper into his wild locks. He knows you’re close, knows exactly what he’s doing. He can’t speak, too far gone in pleasuring you with his mouth, too deep with sucking your throbbing bundle of nerves again and again as his nail beds prod into your flesh.

He loves to feel you come apart, loves to taste your arousal drip down his throat, loves to hear you moan and thrive while you’re about to come undone, and loves when you pull his hair and moan his name while he has his way with you.

You grind your pussy against his mouth, feel how soaked you’re getting him, and it just makes you that much closer to spilling yourself all over him. You feel him groan against your folds, hear him practically whisper the words into your ear as he licks and sucks you repeatedly into his drooling mouth.

Atta girl. There ya go.

Say my name, sweetheart.

C’mon. Give it to me. That’s a good fuckin’ girl.

He pulls your throbbing clit into his mouth and sucks hard, setting off every single nerve ending in your body. He sucks nice and slow and you feel yourself fall apart right there on his hot tongue. You roll your hips and feel the heat slide down your body as you clench over nothing and spill yourself all over his mouth, hearing his groan as he laps up all your slick while you fist his hair roughly through your fingers.

You take a minute to let your panting die out and wait for your body to come back down to earth after your intense face riding orgasm. When you slide back to rest on his chest, you see just how drenched and glistening his mouth and beard are from all your slick and cum. And fuck is it hot.

He smiles up at you as he catches his breath, his blown out pupils relaxing into pure brown warmth as he watches you with admiration on his face. It’s probably the most beautiful sight you’ve ever seen in your entire life.

“Rode me s’good, baby. Love the taste of you,” he hums, his crows feet crinkling up at the corners of his eyes as you get lost in those pools of warm honey.

“Yeah, well, I have an excellent instructor with an experienced tongue,” you purr, winking down at him with a big smile pulling at the corners of your mouth.

He chuckles and responds, “Always happy to put my tongue to good use. Especially for you.”

You bite your lower lip and grin down at him, completely entranced by him. You’re so lucky, so fucking lucky. The luckiest girl in the world.

You shift off him and start to turn the other way as you move your legs away from his chest. Before you can crawl to the other side of the couch, he grabs your calves and pulls you back toward him. “Now where do you think you’re goin’, sweetheart?” he asks with an edge to his voice.

“Huh? What do you mean?” you ask as his large hands wrap around your ankles, pulling you back up to him as he tangles you around the roots of him, firmly planting you to his chest.

“M’not done with you yet, baby girl. You’re gonna give me another one,” he purrs, his deep voice thundering out of his chest like a bear ready to attack.

“Another one? But I’m… I’m so sensitive and…”

He shuts you up quick. “No, you’re not too sensitive. I know what you can handle, and you’re gonna fuckin’ take it like the good girl I know you are,” he growls as he drags you back up to him, hovering just over the edge of his mouth as you feel his hot breath connect with your wetness that’s already dripping for him again.

Fuck.

He wraps his strong arms around your hips and tugs you down where your folds are connecting with his plush lips, and the feeling is already overwhelming. But you need it, need him. You suck in a breath as he licks a long stripe up the entirety of you and you moan out for more.

“Need you so bad, daddy. Please,” you beg, digging your hands into the thighs of his dark jeans as your nails embed in him.

“I’m gonna give it to ya, sweetheart. Daddy’s gonna lick every inch of that pretty pussy,” he purrs as he licks another stripe up your folds, spreading you out to devour your needy clit.

You groan out and dig into his jeans, needing something to latch onto. When you open your eyes and look down, you see his bulge pressed against the thick fabric of his jeans, begging to be released.

You take your hand and grab around his thickness, working him through the denim of his pants. You hear him groan under your touch and bite your lip at the idea that dances through your mind. You’re going to sixty-nine with him. This is what’s going to send you over the edge.

You carefully unzip his zipper and free his bulging erection, taking him in your hand as you see the precum release from his slit and lap over the edges of his tip, working your hand nice and slow over him to spread the precum over his entirety.

His skin’s soft in your hand as you slide it back and forth over his large length, feeling the thick veins that spider around him that end just underneath the tip of his head. His head is red and swollen and screaming for you to taste him, and you’re happy to oblige.

Just as you meet your lips at his head and slide your tongue across his drenched tip, he shutters underneath you and lifts your hips just enough to speak as you feel the salty precum slide down your throat all hot and bubbly like.

“Fuck, baby. What’re you doin’?” he says with clenched teeth as you squeeze his cock, gliding your hand up and down his shaft as you turn to face him, smirking down at him with a devilish grin forming on your lips.

“What do you mean what am I doing? Isn’t it obvious? We’re sixty-nining,” you purr, licking your lower lip as you watch his pupils blow out into big black pits.

“Sixty-nine, is that right? You’re a dirty girl, kitty cat,” he smirks as he takes his index and middle fingers and pushes them inside you nice and slow, curling his fingers up to hit that spongy soft spot that makes you clench up against him and moan out slowly.

“That’s right, right there. That feel good?” he asks as you bite your lip and nod at him, choking out another moan as he curls his fingers higher, setting a wildlife throughout your entire core.

“Yes, daddy. Feels incredible,” you groan as you rock against his fingers, letting your own hand twist up and down his hard, wet length in your hand. You want to taste him, now.

“Fuckin’ sixty-nine. And with the prettiest girl in the world? Shit, baby. You’ve got me wrapped around your finger like that pretty pink bow in your hair,” he says with a gentle laugh that sounds a little like unbelief in his voice.

You giggle out a laugh as you stare at him as he smiles up at you between your legs. “Got you wrapped around my finger, do I?”

“Mhm, that’s right, sweetheart. All mine,” he says with a crooked grin curling up over his lips, sending your heart into overdrive.

“All yours,” you confirm with a soft smile.

He takes a minute to look at you, warm eyes focused on your face softly. Then his eyes shift into something dark and carnal as he brings you back down to his mouth.

“Well, go on, darlin’. I’ll take care of this needy pussy while you show me how good you can suck my cock,” he smirks, letting his fingers release from you as he wraps his arms around your thighs and pulls you down on him again. You choke out a moan as his tongue presses deep into your folds and up your dripping hole.

You focus back on his hard cock in front of you and go back down, circling his head as you lap up his salty precum and then dive down on him, taking his long length in your mouth as your hand slides up and down him slowly, savouring his taste on your tongue.

You take him as far in your mouth as you can, making sure you hit the back of your throat and choke on him while tears spill down your face as you take him deep in your throat over and over again.

You hear his moans fill the room as his tongue circles your clit, hearing your own moans get washed out by the sound of you gagging on his thick cock as your spit drips down his length and into the coarse hairs that cover his base.

The wet, sticky, messy sounds of Joel eating you out and the gagging sounds of you deep throating his massive cock again and again mix together, forming a wet, harmonious melody that reverberates off each other. It causes more slick to slide down your center as he licks and sucks and pulls on your needy clit. It’s too much, too fucking hot. This is the best, most intimate thing you’ve ever done. But you have a feeling this won’t be the end of it because he’ll want more, you’ll want more. It’s only going to get hotter, more primal, more possessive as you continue.

Joel Miller may be a fucking menace, but you’re no better. You’re a temptress spinning your web as you trap him, seducing him to you, pulling him and making him yours. Both of you wrapping each other into a complete tangle until both of you are completely, irrevocably bound to one another. Just like a moth to a flame, you’re pulled to him as he is to you. Two hearts beating wildly for the other just the same.

The room is hot and sticky as both of you get lost in each other’s ecstasy. Moans echoing off the walls as you both are close to orgasm, both so fucking high off each other that you never want to come down. You just want to stay where your bodies are panting in sweat as you continuously get lost in each other’s bliss and euphoria. You’ve never experienced a high quite like this before. Never experienced anything ever like this. It’s just you and Joel, two bodies completely consumed in the other with no plans of ever slipping away from each other. It’s just Joel.

Joel, Joel, Joel.

You start to clench up, feel your walls fluttering as they’re about to spill, feel the way he sucks your clit into his giving mouth as his tongue travels up the entirety of you, covering you in his own spit and drool. And it’s so fucking hot.

“C’mon, baby girl. Give it to me. Cum for me. Wanna feel it,” he groans as he pulls your clit into his mouth and sucks hard. And that’s when you come apart for him, that’s when you feel yourself let go.

You release your lips from his cock and feel a string of drool fall from your lips and attach to the tip of his head, thinking of nothing as you throw back your head back and moan his name as it echoes across the room. “Joellllll, fuck,” you moan as you release white hot liquid all over his mouth. He’s greedy and takes it all, licking you clean as you hear his mouth drink you up, leaving nothing behind.

You rub up and down his cock faster, feeling him stiffen underneath you as his breath goes shallow. Ragged moans leave his chest as he grips your thighs tight and moans out your name slowly.

“Oh fuck, oh shit,” he slurs as you lap at his tip, teasing him before you take him again.

“That’s it, daddy. Go on and cum for me. Wanna take you all in my mouth,” you purr as you wrap your mouth around him again, bobbing up and down as you deep throat him, hearing the gagging noises that send him over the edge. He’s right there, just on the edge. You go down again and hold your mouth there as you take him deep, feeling your throat constrict around his thick cock.

“Baby, m’gonna… gonna cum… oh, fuck,” he moans as you feel thick ropes of cum hit the back of your throat, swallowing his large load down as the salty, delicious taste dances down your tastebuds.

You work over his length nice and slow, not stopping till he’s finished cumming. And just when you think he’s done, he surprises you and pours out more inside your mouth.

You see his hand shoot to his sweaty forehead as he grabs at his messy curls, see his eyes roll back as he moans your name again and again. It sounds like music to your ears, something angelic and addictive sinking into your soul at just the sound of him cumming. It’s your sanctuary, your favorite tune in the world. And you’d never get enough of it, never.

When he’s finished sending his spend down your throat, you slowly release your mouth from him as drool cakes your chin. His cock is so messy with spit and drool that you blush at the job you just did on him.

You feel his chest heave up and down underneath you, his breathing gradually slowing down little by little. You take a second to catch your own breath, gulping down breaths of fresh air that smells like him. There’s something beautiful in the rhythm of both of your breaths in sync. It’s almost like you share the same heartbeat, something so intimate about it that you can’t even shake the euphoric feeling. It’s the best thing you’ve ever experienced. He’s the best thing. Joel is.

After a few minutes he helps you sit up as he pulls his briefs and jeans back up over his softening cock. When he sits up, he grabs your lace panties from the floor and pulls them up over your legs, securing them back into place over your overstimulated pussy. He pulls down your dress over your thighs and lays back down against the couch, bringing you down with him.

You sink into his side and wrap an arm around his chest as he cradles you in his arms gently. He takes his hand and runs it up and down your arm, leaving goosebumps over every square inch of skin he marks as his own. And this feels right, all of this feels right. He feels right.

He presses a kiss against your forehead and showers you with the perfect aftercare cuddles. He’s so good, the absolute best at aftercare. It’s always been your favorite ever since the first time he did it with you in this very living room that you sit in now. Joel Miller might be dominant in the bedroom, but he’s a big softie underneath it all. He’s the perfect combination of rough around the edges and pure honey everywhere else.

“Did s’good for me, sweetheart. Always do s’good for me,” he purrs as he places another gentle kiss over your forehead. “My perfect girl,” he whispers, and you can’t help but smile at the words. My perfect girl.

“Mhm, your perfect girl,” you whisper back as you snuggle into him more, sinking into his chest as his soft t-shirt scrapes along your jawline.

“I like the sound of that,” he laughs, his raspy chuckle that sounds like a symphony of guitars in your ear.

“Me too,” you whisper back.

As the movie comes to an end, Joel grabs the controller and puts on Halloween as you hear the theme song play from the speakers. He relaxes his arm back down around you and pulls you closer to where your cheek is nestled in the crook of his neck as he takes his other hand and runs his fingers through your waves. And this might be your favorite thing ever. Being in his arms. You never want him to let go. Never ever.

You feel yourself start to slip into unconsciousness, feel yourself relax into him as the darkness pulls you under. You don’t know when, you don’t know how, but after a few minutes of cuddling you and Joel fall asleep, wrapped in each other’s warmth as sleep takes you down fast.

And then something happens, something unexpected and unwelcome.

After what seems like hours of sleep, you’re woken up to the harsh lights of the living room being turned on. You jolt awake and sit up, blinking a few times to get your eyes situated to the fluorescent lights above. Joel rubs his eyes and follows your lead, adjusting to being woken up from a deep sleep. Your jaw drops when you see who’s standing in the corner of the room. Sarah.

Oh, fuck.

“I knew it, I knew!” she jumps up and down as her long curls bounce up and down along with her, a big smile spread across her face as she can’t seem to keep her excitement down.

“Shit,” Joel mutters under his breath as your eyes go wide in panic. You try to speak but you can’t. You’re frozen, not knowing what to do or say. You’ve been caught red handed.

“I knew it all along! This is so exciting! You and dad? Oh my God, I’m a genius,” she squeals as she jumps again.

“Sarah! Calm down,” Joel warns as his eyes narrow slightly. Sarah stops jumping but continues beaming at the both of you. You feel like your heart is about to come out of your throat. Your dad. What if she tells your dad?

“Sarah, you’re not gonna tell my parents are you? They’d kill me,” you rush out with your breathing uncontrolled. It feels like you're about to throw up with the knot that’s in your stomach. Joel notices your panic immediately and does what he can to calm you down.

“Hey, hey, look at me,” he urges as he cups your chin and turns you toward him, his deep brown eyes almost calming you down. Almost. “She’s not gonna tell them. Right, Sarah?” he asks as he turns to her, giving her that knowing look.

She imitates her lips being a zipper and acts like she zips them tight. “My lips are sealed. Promise,” she nods as she looks back and forth between the two of you, your anxiety slowly calming down at the confirmation.

“See? She won’t say a word. It’s gonna be okay, darlin’,” he confirms as he soothes you over, one hand rubbing your thigh to calm you down. You nod in acceptance.

Sarah calls your name and you look up. “I’ve noticed the way dad’s looked at you for a while now. Been wondering when he was going to make a move,” she laughs, shaking her head. “He’s liked you for a long time, even if he never told me. I could see it in his eyes.”

You just look over at Joel and smile at him. “Yeah, I’ve liked him for a long time, too,” you say quietly. Joel meets your eyes and smiles at you, the corners of his lips curling up to form those perfect dimples again.

“This is so cute, I think I’m gonna throw up,” she says as she claps her hands together.

“Alright, alright. Go on up and go to bed, it’s past your bedtime,” he says as he points at the clock that says five past midnight.

“Okay,” she groans. “Night, love birds,” she sings as she leaves the room and heads up the stairs.

“You sure she won’t say anything?” you ask nervously, anxiety still swirling through your gut.

“If there’s one thing she’s good at, it’s keeping secrets. So, think we’re safe,” he confirms as you blow out a breath you had been holding.

“That’s a relief. I guess she was bound to find out at some point, right?”

“Yeah, guess you’re right,” he says as he nods his head. His calloused thumb shifts against your jawline and he leans in and presses his lips against yours. You lean into him and get lost in his scent, in his abundance of warmth. When you hear the creak of the stairs, you pull apart from his lips fast.

Joel leans over the couch annoyed and peeks up at the stairs. “Sarah?” he asks in a deep voice, warning her to stop spying.

“Uhh, yeah?” she asks nervously.

“Bed. Now,” he growls. She obeys and runs up the stairs, not wasting a second of time. He sighs in annoyance. “She’s never gonna let me live this down,” he groans.

“Hey,” you say as you grab his hand and entangle your fingers in his. “I’ll be right there with you through it.”

He rasps out a chuckle and looks you in the eyes, calm brown eyes returning to look at you. “You want me to take you home? I can drop your car off tomorrow.”

You shake your head no. “Can I stay here tonight? Don’t really want to go home. I’d rather stay with you.”

“‘Course, sweetheart. You always have a place here.” He pushes a curl behind your ear and pulls you back in, planting his lips against yours as a warm wave of peace and serenity cloud your mind.

“C’mon. Let’s get you up to bed.” He pulls you up and picks you up bridal style as you squeal out and wrap your arms around his neck. You kiss his cheek and tuck your head against the crook of his neck as he carries you up the stairs. And somehow you know it’ll be okay. Things will turn out okay because you’re with Joel.

So when he pulls you tight against him under the sheets and you're wrapped in his t-shirt with his arms around you, you know you’re in good hands. Nothing can ruin what you and Joel have. Not even your dad. Joel has your whole heart and nothing can change that now.

Tags: @amyispxnk @janaispunk @blueseastorm @joelmillersblog @joelalorian @heartstoptrying @littlevenicebitch69 @getitoutofmymindwrites @akah565 @keylimebeag @dugiioh @laurrrra @untamedheart81 @roostersforevergirl @itsokbbygrl @pedrostories

Part 4

#joel miller #joel miller smut #joel x female reader #dbf joel miller #dom!joel miller #dbf!joel #joel miller fic #joel the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel tlou #joel x reader #joel miller x female reader #soft!joel miller #soft joel miller #joel miller pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedrostories #pedro pascal #joel miller fanfiction #the last of us joel #joel x you #tlou fanfiction #no outbreak!joel miller #no use of y/n #fluff and smut #fluff and feels

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 15- She Shoots, She Scores

Summary: You and Javi go to visit your family in Chicago. Javi gets his first chance to see snow, the two of you are tasked with unexpected baby sitting duty, and your family is... well, your family.

Word Count: 13.3K (I mean like... Could be worse?)

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v sex (don't be a fool, wrap your tool), creampie, praise kink, big ole breeding kink (you watch Javi hold a baby, what do you expect), talks of building a family, grief/loss of a family member, trying to talk about death/loss with a child (UGH sweet little Olivia), mentions of eating, mentions of drinking/being hungover (your dad had a rough night out with his besties), there is literally so much future dad!Javi content in this chapter and I am not sorry about it at all

A/N: Okay I am not gonna lie, the self indulgent part of me was SO excited to get our girl out on the ice in some hockey skates and kick ass 🤪 There are so many things that make me smile about this chapter besides that- the fact that Javi has probably never seen snow before this trip, Javi and Osita babysitting together and being the cutest future parents (please excuse me while I SCREAM into a pillow) and Osita's family just being who they are. Nothing really holiday themed about this chapter at all, just some good, old fashioned midwest winter fun!

Series Masterlist Next Chapter Previous Chapter

“Baby, I’m telling you, you’re gonna wanna pack warmer stuff than that. I don’t think you understand how cold Chicago is this time of year.” You laughed to yourself as you peeked over at Javi’s suitcase, sitting on top of yours to try and cram as many sweaters and sweatshirts in as possible to brace yourself for the reality you knew was winter in the midwest. 

After spending the first half of your winter break together in Laredo, you and Javi had agreed to make your way out to your family to spend the second part of the holidays with them. As much as you had grown to love everything about life in Laredo, there was something about Chicago at Christmas time that filled you with a warmth and happiness you couldn’t wait to share together with Javi. The only problem was, Javi had never once experienced weather colder than your last trip to Chicago in October, let alone the brutal Illinois winter he was in for tomorrow when your flight landed, and the temperature was about to drop 40 degrees. 

“Osita, I find it hard to believe that it’s that fucking cold. I have plenty of stuff packed that I’m sure will be fine.” Javi smirked, now laughing at you, wrestling with the zipper you had barely managed to close from your overflowing outfit choices. 

“Javi. It’s Chicago. In December. It’s fucking cold. But who am I to say anything? I’ve only spent every winter in Chicago since birth, so what would I know?” You groaned, overdramatically rolling your eyes at Javi, who you had spent the past few days trying to prepare for the bitter cold and snow that he was drastically unaware of. “Will you please put like, a few more sweatshirts in there? I promise I’m not trying to be overbearing, I just know you have literally spent your entire life in the sun and if you thought 50 degrees was cold in October, you’re about to be in for a rude awakening, mister.” You snickered, plopping yourself down on the bed next to Javi’s suitcase he found himself hovering over before looking at you, shaking his head. 

“Fine, I will put a few more in there.” He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss on your head before heading back over to his drawer to throw a few more sweatshirts and long sleeved shirts in with the rest of his clothes. “I am actually really excited for the snow.” Javi smirked, a boyish grin growing across his face. 

“God, it’s so weird to me that you’ve never seen snow before. It’ll get old fast, believe me. Especially when you have to spend all morning shoveling it out of the driveway before you can go anywhere, or when I kick your ass in a snowball fight.” You reached over, giving him a playful punch before squealing as Javi lunged on top of you, making you bounce on the bed as he peppered ticklish kisses across your neck and chest, leaving you giggling and swatting beneath him. 

“Yeah, really? You’re gonna kick my ass? How the fuck do you kick someone’s ass at a snowball fight, hmmm?” He questioned between pecks of his lips against your skin before finally pulling away, letting you catch your breath from your laughter. 

“You’ll find out once you have a big ole snowball in your face, won’t you?” Leaning back against the headboard of the bed, you crossed your arms over your chest, raising an eyebrow at Javi, giving him a little shrug. “Don’t think I’m taking it easy on you because you have no snowball making experience. This will be an all out war, Peña.” 

“I don’t think I’d ever expect anything less from you, Osita.” 

Javi was just as thankful as you that this trip to Chicago seemed to be less nerve wracking than your first one a few months ago- for the sake of your own sanity and the bones in his hand, considering your only slightly eased death grip around it on the 3 hour flight leaving Laredo. The O’Hare International Airport was buzzing with the hustle and bustle of holiday travelers, people dashing through the terminals, crowding at gates, and fighting for taxis. You couldn’t believe how busy it still was after Christmas had passed, considering the fight it had been to try and hail a cab to get to your parents house. 

The drive to your childhood home from the airport had felt starkly different than the one you and Javi had taken in October, a sense of comfort and relief washing over you in having ripped off the band aid that was your first trip back home since Patrick’s death, which was approaching almost exactly a year ago. To be honest, there was a part of you that was expecting this trip to somehow be more painful- having to face your first Christmas without your brother- your last one being only days before he had passed away, getting dumped by your ex, and running half way across the country to try and forget anything and everything you could about the life that had crumbled at the seams beneath you. But as you ran your thumb gently over your ring finger, pressing against the delicate gold band that had made its home there since Thanksgiving, staring at your future husband, excitedly looking out the window at the thick flakes of snow falling from the sky, you couldn’t help but smile at just how lucky you were. You also couldn’t help but think how happy your brother would have been for you, too- to know his death hadn’t meant that your life had ended either. Truth be told, it was only just beginning. 

“What do you think?” You asked, biting down on your lip as you gave Javi’s hand a little squeeze, taking in the cuteness that was watching him watch the snowflakes gently drift through the winter breeze before landing in the already massive piles lining the streets below. His eyes lit up with a childlike glow, trying his best to contain his giddiness as he looked out the window before looking back over at you. 

“It’s… Fuck, it’s beautiful.” Even though you knew he was talking about the soft, white flakes falling behind you, the way his eyes never left yours as the words fell from his lips made your cheeks warm in a way that would have melted any snowflakes that would have landed there. “I’m so glad that our kids will be able to grow up knowing what it’s like to have snow.” 

“It is a lot prettier when you know you only have to be in it for a week, and not multiple months.” You laughed as you shook your head, admiring the snow covered suburbia outside your window. It made your smile just a little bit wider as you watched kids playing outside in their front yards, rolling giant snowballs for snowmen or, digging holes in the snow plowed piles along their driveways to make forts, knowing that one day, your children would get to do the same with you and Javi. “Yeah, it is nice that they’ll get to have both. Unless they inherit your warm weather genes, and complain every time it’s colder than 70 degrees out. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to teach them well so we can gang up on you for all the snowball fights.” Javi looked over at you, smirking to himself as he reached across the backseat to grab your hand, intertwining it with yours. 

“I wouldn’t want it any other way.” 

The rest of your drive was spent quietly, hand in hand, as you admired the snowfall from your windows, gently music playing softly from the car radio as Javi’s thumb rubbed against the soft skin of your knuckles, taking an extra few moments to touch the beautiful ring forever wrapped around your finger, excited for the winters ahead he got to spend with you.  

“Listen… I’m not trying to say I told you so but-” 

“Yeah, it’s fucking cold, okay? You win, Osita.” You tried your best to keep from bursting out into laughter as you could see Javi visibly shivering, pulling out your suitcases out of the back of the cab, trying his best not to drop them in the slush covered streets of your neighborhood. The beautiful facade of the winter wonderland Javi had been admiring through the window of the taxi quickly faded as he stepped outside to face the reality of a true Chicago December. Grabbing your own bag, you hoisted it up over the pile of snow on either side of the walkway up to your house, making sure to take an extra big step over the mound at the edge of the curb you had learned over the years that your dad was too lazy to shovel to avoid ending up with a shoe full of snow.

 “Oh fuck me…” Javi sighed, now ankle deep in the pile you had forgotten to warm him about, frantically shaking his foot to try and get the snow off his foot. 

“Like I said, I’m not trying to say I told you so…” You grimaced, looking down at Javi’s snow soaked foot before looking back up at him, giving him a sarcastically sympathetic shrug. 

“Pendejo. Can we please go inside before we fucking freeze out here?” 

“But I thought it was so beautiful? Have you changed your mind, you warm weathered, sun spoiled baby?” You teasted, giggling to yourself at the annoyed look on Javi’s face before turning back around to head towards the house. 

Almost to the door, you practically froze in your tracks, your jaw hanging open in shock as a cold, hard thump hit the back of your jacket, whipping your head back around the see Javi pulling his hands out of the snow, wiping them on his jeans before glancing down to see the little white blob that had slid down your back, landing by your feet. “Did you just throw a fucking snowball at me?!” You yelled, a devilish smirk spreading ear to ear across Javi’s face as you stared at him in disbelief. 

“It was just so beautiful, I couldn’t help it.” He mocked, raising an eyebrow at you before finishing the rest of the journey up the pathway to your door, giving you a playful nudge as he passed you. 

“You’re the worst, I hope you know that.” 

“You’re the one who said yes.” He smirked, gesturing down at the ring on your finger before placing a quick kiss on your rosy cheek, opening up the front door. 

“Hey you guys we’re-” 

“Oh thank God you’re here.” Charlie sighed, frantically shoving an oversized diaper bag in your arms as he ran down the stairs next to the entryway of your parents house. 

“Good to see you too, Charlie? Thanks for the diaper bag? Where’s everyone else?” You questioned, a puzzled look growing across your face, as Charlie rapidly ran back up the stairs, only hearing his voice shout down the hallway. 

“Natalie! They’re here!” You looked up at Javi, the two of you stumped as to what was happening before Charlie was speeding back down the steps, the sound of little feet following behind him. 

“Auntie Bear, Auntie Bear, Auntie Bear!” Olivia squealed, her tiny feet pattering down the hallway, outstretching her arms to be picked up for a hug. Quickly setting down the diaper bag you had been handed to avoid getting run over by your niece, your arms mirrored hers, scooping her up, giving her a big hug. 

“Hi, cutie pie!” You grinned, giving her a big kiss on the cheek before setting her back down, Olivia then swiftly making her way over to Javi. 

“Hi Uncle Javi!” She beamed, wrapping her little arms around his waist, hugging his hip. 

“Hey, Olivia!” Javi smiled widely at his new title, rubbing his hand against her head, ruffling her hair. 

“Hi Awnt Bawwwww!!.” A little voice screeched, Brianna waving her tiny hand at you as she tumbled down the stairwell, following her sister. 

“Hi Lil Miss! C’mere, sweetie!” You giggled, picking up your other niece and hosting her on your hip, planting little kisses across her face, making her squeal, before gently placing her back on the ground. You were so focused on your adorable niece’s hugs and greetings, that you hadn’t been paying attention to Charlie scurrying through the living room, cleaning and gathering items that had been scattered around your parents house by his daughters. Swiftly making her way down the stairs with the newest addition to your family, your new nephew Lucas, Charlie’s wife Natalie was already handing him off to you as she fixed the earring she was trying to place before helping Charlie in the living room.  

“You wanna tell us what’s going on?” You questioned, laughing at your brother and his wife frantically running around the house as you carefully held up Lucas, melting at his sweet, rosy cheeks and messy blonde tufts of hair, finally getting to see him in person for the first time. “Oh my God, aren’t you the sweetest thing? Hi, little Lucas! What are your crazy mom and dad up to, huh? What’s happening that’s got them running around like psychopaths?” You giggled, talking to him in a high pitched voice as he babbled, resting his tiny head against your chest. 

“Can you guys babysit?!” Charlie paused, shoving a few more items into Lucas’s diaper bag sitting by your feet, a pathetic and guilty look growing across his face. 

“Wait, babysit? Where are you two going? Aren’t mom and dad-” 

“Well David was supposed to, but he got called into work today because they were short staffed. Natalie’s work Christmas party is tonight. Our idiot brother told Mom and Dad that you guys weren’t coming until tomorrow, so they planned dinner with the Kolawski’s tonight, and our babysitter is out of town for the holidays so we don’t have anyone to watch the kids.” Charlie grunted as he shoved the last of his shoe on his foot, standing up and looking at you with pleading eyes. “Mom and Dad were watching while we were at work and when we found out you guys were actually coming in today, we stayed hoping that you could watch them, too. Please Cubby?” 

“Well, I think your first mistake was trusting David to relay any accurate information at any point in time.” You rolled your eyes, readjusting Lucas, cradling the back of his head. 

“If you could, it would mean so much. I’ve been looking forward to finally going back to see everyone at work for this party. I know it’s so last minute. I’m so sorry you guys, if you can’t it’s okay, we don’t have to go.” Natalie smiled sympathetically, leaning down to give Olivia a quick kiss on the head as she wrapped her arms around her mom’s leg. 

“Please Auntie Bear? Please, please, please, please?” Olivia begged, looking up at you with big puppy dog eyes. 

“I don’t see why we can’t? Is that okay with you, Jav?” You shrugged at Charlie before looking over at Javi, eyes wide as he stared at you bouncing Lucas in your arms, your words seeming to go in one ear and out the other watching you hold your nephew. 

“Hmmm? Oh yeah. Yeah! Yeah, of course we can babysit.” Javi visibly shook his head to snap himself out of whatever daydream he was having as he looked at you, bringing himself back to reality. 

“Yay! Auntie Bear and Uncle Javi are gonna babysit!” Olivia squealed, squeezing Brianna in excitement, the two of them giggling and bouncing up and down before running off into the living room, heading back to whatever toys they were playing with before your arrival.

“Oh my God, thank you so much, Cubby. We owe you big time.” Charlie reached over, giving you a quick side hug before reaching for his and Natalie’s coats behind you, hanging by the front door. 

“It’s not a big deal at all, Charlie, we’re more than happy to. Anything special we need to know with this lil cutie? The other two I’ve got down pat.” You leaned over, kissing Lucas’s soft, feathery hair as you held him. 

“Keep him alive? I don’t know, Cubby, he’s a baby, it’s not that hard. Feed him and put him to bed when he falls asleep.” Charlie raised an eyebrow at you, shrugging as he put his coat on. 

“You’re not the one that question was directed towards, idiot.” You rolled your eyes, looking over at Natalie, laughing to herself as she shimmied her coat over her arms. 

“I just fed him an hour ago, so you can feed him at 8, diaper bag has everything he needs in there, his pack-n-play is set up in the spare room, and if he’s fussy, put him in the baby rocker and he’ll fall right asleep. You can call Charlie’s cell if you need anything, and I’ll answer.” 

“Thank you for that helpful information, Natalie. Crazy that I’d wanna know those kinds of things before having a 3 month old baby dropped in my care.” You jabbed at Charlie, oblivious to your remark as he was already opening the front door. 

“Yeah, sure, whatever. Thank you Cubby, we’ll be back at like, 10? Okay, bye you guys, be good for Auntie Bear and Javi, love you!” Charlie half shouted as he booked it out the door, Natalie following behind him. 

“Thank you guys, so much. I’d apologize for Charlie being the way that he is, but…you already know. Bye girls! I love you both, Daddy and I will see you later, okay? Have lots of fun!” Natalie gave you a quick hug before waving goodbye, following Charlie out the door, leaving Olivia, Brianna, Lucas, in your care for an unexpected night in on babysitting duty. 

“Is this okay? I’m really sorry, I know we just got here, I wasn’t gonna say no, but I-” 

“Hermosa. Of course it’s okay.” Javi smiled, cutting you off as he placed his hand on the small of your back, his thumb tracing soft circles along your jacket you still had yet to take off from your arrival.

“Okay. You sure? You were giving me a weird look when I asked you at first.” You questioned, raising an eyebrow at him before pressing a soft kiss onto Lucas’s head as he cooed. Javi looked back at you, letting out a sigh, biting down on his lip and he leaned down to give you what you thought was going to be a kiss on your cheek, before he stopped at your ear. 

“Maybe it’s because watching you hold that baby is making me wanna put one in you right now.” His words sent a shiver down your spine, his breath hot and heavy against your neck as he pulled away, giving you a quick wink while your eyes just about popped out of your head from his unwarranted comment. 

“Jesus Christ, Javier Jesús Peña. You cannot just be saying things like that to me, or I’m gonna throw my fucking birth control out the window and spontaneously combust.” You sighed, jabbing his side as the two of you laughed to yourselves. 

“Auntie Bearrrrrrrr! Me and Bri Bri are hungry! We want dino nuggies, pleaseeeee!” Olivia shouted from across the room, waving one of her many stuffed animals at you to get your attention.

“Okay, cuties! Let’s go in the kitchen and we can make some dinner, alright?” You called back, thankful for your niece’s impeccable timing before you melted into a puddle from Javi’s suggestion. “You’re a menace, you know that right? This is about to be the most challenging night of babysitting ever because of you. You haven’t even held Lucas yet, and just the thought of it is making me want to do unspeakable things to you.” You sighed, making your way towards the kitchen, trying your best to not even look at Javi before you completely fell apart. 

“Is that a threat, or a promise?” Javi smirked as he followed behind you, making you whip your head around, giving him a stern look for the sake of your sanity. 

“A menace, I swear.” 

Olivia and Brianna had somehow charmed you and Javi into convincing the both of you that they needed not only dinosaur chicken nuggets, but also mac and cheese, compromising with carrots as the required vegetable to go with their meal if they wanted the hot chocolate they had also requested for after dinner. 

“Uncle Javi, will you play reindeer with us while Auntie Bear finishes cooking?” Olivia asked, dangling her legs off the counter where Javi had put her after her request to help with placing the chicken nuggets on the baking sheet before they went in the oven. You smirked at Javi, holding Brianna on your hip as she fumbled with a noodle you had given her to play with while you stirred the mac and cheese. 

“Reindeer?” He asked, leaning against the counter next to Olivia, hand on his hip as he began to intently listen to her explanation. 

“Before Mommy and Daddy left, Bri Bri and I were reindeer and Daddy was Santa and he had to chase us back to help get ready for next Christmas!” Olivia stated, matter of factly, as if everyone should have already been aware of how to play. 

“Yeah, you dotta wun weeeellyyy fast!” Brianna chimed in, finally plopping the stray noodle into her mouth, chewing loudly in your ear. 

“What, are you saying I’m not fast enough, Missy?” You smiled at Olivia, making her giggle as you set Brianna down before giving her sides a tickle and picking her up off of the counter and placing her on the ground next to her sister. 

“No, it’s because Uncle Javi has to be Santa and you have to be Mrs. Claus so you can watch the baby elf.” She told you, pointing over at Lucas, sound asleep in his rocker, a mischievous grin on her face. “So Uncle Javi has to chase us or else we won’t be playing it right. Please Uncle Javi, will you play reindeer with us? Pleaseeeee?” Olivia pleaded, looking up at Javi, pouting her bottom lip, quickly joined by Brianna, stomping her feet in excitement. 

“Do we have enough time to play reindeer?” Javi grinned, raising an eyebrow at you as you stirred the pot simmering on the stove, looking over at your timer. 

“You guys have 6 minutes before dinner is done, got it?” You smiled at the girls as they began to squeal in delight. “But… Reindeer are extra fast if they eat carrots, so one carrot for each of you before you play okay?” You grabbed two carrot sticks from the bag on the counter, holding them out to the girls who gladly agreed at their newly promised speed. 

“Okay!” They chomped, Olivia stopping mid-bite, pointing towards Javi. “Doesn’t Uncle Javi have to eat a carrot, too?” She questioned, now debating the fairness of your carrot trick. 

“I thought Santa just got to eat cookies…” Javi grumbled, trying to get out of paying your carrot toll. 

“Oh, that is a good point, Olivia! Santa should have to eat some carrots, it’d be good for him.” You snickered, holding out a carrot stick for Javi, grimacing as he crossed his arms over his chest, refusing to take it from you, knowing that you were well aware of his disdain for this particular vegetable. 

“Last time I checked, Santa doesn’t like carrots.” 

“Last time I checked, Santa was a good role model for his reindeer who ate his carrots and didn’t complain about it.” You shoved the carrot in Javi’s face, laughing to yourself as he rolled his eyes, painfully taking it out of your hand, looking at it with regret before taking a bite. Javi tried his best to hide the disgusted look on his face as he chewed, letting out a gulp as he swallowed, trying to play off how much he had hated every second of what he had just done. 

“Wow, SO good.” Javi glared at you as the two girls took off running out of the kitchen, screaming and screeching for Javi to come catch them while you looked back at him with a smug smile, shrugging playfully. “You make me eat another carrot and I’m on the next flight home to Texas.” 

“UNCLE JAVI YOU HAVE TO COME CATCH US NOW!” Olivia yelled from the next room over, you and Javi peeking out from the kitchen to see her and Brianna doing laps around the living room. 

“You are such a baby. A 3 and 6 year old complained less than you did. Now go, you have some very fast reindeer to catch, Santa. Don’t make me give you another carrot.” You giggled as you pressed up on to your tiptoes, cupping Javi’s cheek as you gave him a quick kiss, Javi wrapping his hand around the back of your head to hold you there a moment longer, his voice low and hushed as his lips barely parted from yours. 

“Careful what you ask for, baby. Can’t give you my North Pole later if I’m all the way back in Laredo cause you made me eat another fucking carrot.” With a wink and another quick peck on your cheek, Javi pulled away, making his way towards the girls in the living room as you gave him the most over dramatic roll of your eyes you could conjure. 

“JAVIER PEÑA. You are the most ridiculous person I have ever met, I swear to God.” 

You had most definitely let more than your promised 6 minutes go by as you stood in the entrance to the living room, watching Javi chase Olivia and Brianna in circles around the couch, the 3 of them laughing and smiling as he would purposely let them pass him, only to grab them both a few moments later, tossing them onto the cushions before the girls crawled over the sides of the sofa to escape again.

 It was a good thing you hadn’t watched him hold Lucas yet, because the sight of him playing with your nieces alone was enough to have you weak in the knees, thinking about how goddamn sweet he was with them, and much sweeter it would be once it was your own kids, not just Olivia and Brianna. 

You were so in love with this man, it physically hurt. 

The four of you chatted away at dinner, listening to Olivia talk about her class party at school, what gifts they had gotten for Christmas, and what toys they were most excited to show you from Santa. Your reindeer trick had worked wonders to get them to eat the rest of their carrots, along with their nuggets and macaroni, the girls both very adamantly reminding you that they could get their hot chocolate now that they had finished all of their dinner. 

You and Javi had agreed there had been plenty of reindeer chasing for the night, and with it starting to get late, that you all could pick a movie to watch while drinking your coco as the last activity before getting the girls to bed. You helped Olivia and Brianna get changed into their pajamas and put Lucas down for bed while Javi finished cleaning up the rest of dinner and starting the hot chocolate. 

As the girls paraded back out into the living room in their matching snowman pajamas, they shrieked in delight to see that Javi had somehow managed to find every spare pillow and blanket in your parent’s house, making a giant, cozy nest in front of the couch, complete with the glow of your parent’s Christmas tree in the background, and mugs of hot chocolate resting on the TV stand waiting for them. A few minutes later after putting Lucas down to bed, you followed behind, hearing their giggles and squeals as they nestled into the comfy pile on the ground, Javi sitting on the sofa waiting for you. 

“Auntie Bear, look! Uncle Javi made us a blanket pile! And he put extra whipped cream in our hot chocolate!” Olivia beamed, whipped cream smeared across her face as he smiled at you. 

“Da hot chocwate is weelllyyy yummy!” Brianna joined in, her whipped cream mustache almost as thick as Javi’s real one. 

“If they’re up at midnight, I’m telling Charlie and Natalie it was your fault.” You whispered to Javi as you sat down next to him, Javi automatically wrapping his arm around your shoulder as you curled up in the broadness of his grasp. 

“You’re the one who promised them hot chocolate, Osita.” He whispered back, giving you a little nudge and a wink. 

“Not hot chocolate and half a can of whipped cream on top.” 

You rolled your eyes at him, laughing to yourself as you watched the girls chug the rest of their drinks, passing Javi the remote to the TV. “The girls voted for Rudolph The Rednosed Reindeer.  I told them I met some really cool reindeer earlier, but they kept trying to run away from Santa. I wonder if they’re in this movie too.“ 

“Oh my goodness, Olivia and Brianna are my favorite reindeer that pull Santa’s sleigh, you saw them earlier? I’m so sad I missed them!” You and Javi smiled as Olivia and Brianna broke out in hysterical giggles. 

“No Uncle Javi and Auntie Bear, that was us! We’re not really reindeer, Uncle Javi was just being silly.” Olivia laughed, her cheeks turning pink and rosy from her grin. 

“He is very silly, isn’t he? You ready for the movie, my favorite little reindeers?” 

It wasn’t long before the giggles and sing-alongs of Rudoplh had quickly turned to soft, sleepy snores from Olivia and Brianna, curled up in their blankets and snuggled up with their stuffed animals long before the film had finished. 

“I think you wore these reindeer out, Jav.” You smiled, looking down at the girls sound asleep, tucked away in the piles of pillows around them. 

“I think those reindeer wore me out. Jesus, I gotta stretch before I do that next time or I’m gonna throw out my back.” The two of you quietly laughed to yourselves, Javi resting his hand on your thigh, squeezing it gently. The two of you turned your heads as you heard a muffled cry coming from the baby monitor you had set on the end table near the couch, realizing that Lucas was awake, and needed something. 

“You wanna come with me to check on him?” You grunted, pushing yourself to stand from the couch, carefully stepping over your nieces, tucked away in the sea of pillows and blankets at your feet. 

“You sure they’re okay out here by themselves?” Javi gestured over to the girls, both sound asleep. 

“Jav, I’m pretty sure a tornado could blow through this house right now and they’d sleep through it. C’mon.” 

Sneaking quietly down the hallway into the guest room, you gently pushed open the door to the sounds of a wailing Lucas, writhing in his pack-n-play, tiny fists shaking in the air. “Oh c’mere, handsome.” You cooed, reaching down to pick up Lucas, hugging him against your chest as you bounced him up and down. “What’s the matter, bub?” You continued rocking, giving him a little kiss on the head as you held him. “Well, it’s not his diaper, and I just changed it after the girls put on their pajamas.” You shrugged, talking to yourself, tilting your head down to sniff near his tiny bottom, free of any suspicious scents. “I fed him then too. The little guy was out cold after that. What’s goin’ on, sweetie? Maybe you need to be burped again, ya little gassy monster. Here, Jav, can you hold him while I go get the burp cloths from the diaper bag?” 

The way you had picked Lucas up, you had your back to Javi, talking to your little nephew without even looking over at your fiancé. You figured he probably just hadn’t heard you, and had mistaken your question for him with the babbling you had been doing with Lucas. “Jav?” You asked again, this time turning around to face him, greeted by the awestruck look on Javi’s face, eyes wide and jaw slack as he stared you up and down. 

“Hmmmm?” He asked, shaking his head, letting out a loud gulp as the Adam's apple of his throat bobbed in his neck. 

“Can you hold Lucas while I go get something from his diaper bag?” You smirked, raising an  eyebrow at him, dying to know the thoughts swirling in his brain that had his face looking as dumbfounded as it did right now. 

“I uh, yeah- um, yeah, I can.” Javi responded, now looking flustered and nervous as you outstretched Lucas towards him. “Do you trust me to hold him?” He asked, reaching his hands out to take Lucas from you, his question quiet and sheepish. You cocked your head in confusion as you stared back at him. 

“Baby, of course I do? Do you not wanna hold him? You don’t have to if-” 

“No, I do, I just- He’s- I don’t wanna hurt him or anything- I don’t- I don’t think I’ve ever held a baby this small.” 

Javier Peña was a man who had faced many dangerous things in life- the cartel, violence, drugs, literal life or death decisions- Things that would make the average person tremble in fear, that Javi had learned to deal without a second thought. Yet, the prospect of holding a tiny, 3 month old baby in front of his future wife had Javi more nervous than he could remember being in the past decade. 8 months ago, he had no plans of ever finding someone, let alone plans to get married, or to have children of his own. Now, he wanted nothing more to give you a family- fuck, he’d give you all the kids you want, but that meant the reality of this future prospect was finally starting to sink in with Javi. 

He was terrified to be a dad. 

Not because he didn’t love you. Not because he didn’t want to be (because fuck, did he want to be), but because the idea that the tired, worn, and damaged man he’d written himself off to be was supposed to raise, protect, and nurture the tiny, little person the two of you would someday bring into the world scared the shit out of him. And all it took was you outstretching your crying newborn nephew in front of him for that earth shattering reality to sink in. 

“Javi…” You sighed, almost laughing to yourself with how worried your sweet fiancé was about being so careful with Lucas. “Baby, it’s okay. Here, why don’t you go sit down on the chair that’s over there and I’ll hand him over to you. We can take standing out of the equation if it makes you feel better.” Javi nodded, quickly sitting himself down on the oversized, cushioned chair in the corner of the guest bedroom. Bouncing Lucas a few more times to try and ease some of his tears before handing him over to Javi, you passed him off to his outstretched arms, carefully cradling him along his chest and shoulder. “You got ‘em?” You smiled, watching Javi’s eyes light up as he held Lucas, his tension visibly starting to ease once he was in his grasp. “I’ll be right back, okay?” 

You had no choice but to hightail it out of the guest room without looking at Javi for too long, knowing you would very much need to brace yourself for the image of Javi holding a baby before returning, considering you were going to absolutely crumble like a piece of paper the moment you really got a good look at him. 

As soon as Lucas was settled in Javi’s arms, his crying immediately began to ease, Javi gently rocking him in hopes that it would help to settle him down more. “Shhhhhh, hey, it’s okay, big guy.” Javi whispered, grinning to himself as he gazed down at Lucas’s bright eyes and rosy cheeks. “Fuck, you are cute. Sorry, I probably shouldn’t swear in front of you. Well, I don’t know, you’re a baby, you can’t understand anything I’m saying, can you?” Chuckling to himself, Javi leaned further back into the chair, pressing Lucas’s weight against his chest, resting the width of his large palm over his tiny head and back. “You think your Aunt’s gonna let me give her one of you soon? I sure hope so.” 

Turning the corner down the hallway back into the guest bedroom, you were 100% correct in realizing that there was no amount of mental preparation you could have done to brace yourself for the sight that was your future husband, snuggling and smiling with your nephew, who on top of everything else, had also gotten him to somehow stop crying. 

Jesus Christ, you were so fucked and needed him to give you 14 children today.  

“Wow, I leave for 30 seconds and you get him to stop crying?” You smirked, biting down on your lip as Javi looked over at you leaning in the doorway, holding your stack of brightly colored cloths from Lucas’s bag. “I didn’t know you were a baby whisperer, too.” 

“I didn’t think I did anything, I just held him and he stopped. He’s been fine since you left.” Javi shrugged, gently combing his fingers through the wild, sleepy ends of Lucas’s hair. 

“Alright, message received loud and clear, Baby Lucas, you like Uncle Javi better than me. A little rude, but alright.” You giggled, making your way next to Javi, standing beside him as you leaned down to press a kiss onto Lucas’s forehead before doing the same to Javi. “Well, I guess whatever was wrong, he’s fine now. He must have just needed you to hold him. Which, I really can’t complain about.” 

You should have felt at least a little guilty for subjecting your infant nephew to the now palpable tension flooding the guest room, completely lost in your own world as you soaked in every ounce of watching Javi cradle Lucas in his broad grasp, using all your self restraint to keep from pouncing on him. You were so lost in your fantasy, that you hadn’t even heard Charlie and Natalie make their way back through the front door, down the hallway and into the guest room. 

“You babysat and knocked both the gremlins on their asses out cold? Man, I really do owe you two.” Charlie’s voice startled you, making you gasp as you whipped your head around to see him standing in the doorway. “She’s got you on baby duty too, Jav? Goddamn, I owe you a beer, man. Honestly something stronger than that. Here, I’ll take him.” Charlie laughed, reaching out to grab his son as Javi slowly stood, carefully holding Lucas as he rose out of his seat, passing him off to your brother. “Thanks, man. You lookin’ to throw down tomorrow? David’s got the day off, and since dad’s retired, he has put every ounce of time and effort into the ice rink since the weather has gotten below freezing. I think he’s hoping the NHL will come and scout him for his backyard rink building skills.”

“Uh, yeah- yeah, for sure. We’re up for whatever.” You replied, still distracted by the sight of Javi, not even holding your nephew anymore, but the image still fresh and burning in your brain. “Hey, uh, did Mom and Dad say when they were gonna be home?” Watching Charlie collect Lucas’s things from the guest room in his free arm, you shot Javi a desperate look, filled with need and want, biting down on your lip to see his gaze match yours. 

Unaware of yours and Javi’s silent exchange, Charlie picked up Lucas’s bag, shuffling it on his shoulder as he responded. “Uh shit, I don’t know. I mean, they’re going out with Gary and Marcella, which means at this point, that Gary’s got dad 6 Irish Car Bombs deep and Mom and Marcella are probably asleep on the bar, my guess is not for a while.” He chuckled, giving you a suspicious look as you nodded in agreement, Charlie looking back and forth between you and Javi, now picking up on the undeniable tension. “Just don’t fuck in my old room, okay?” 

“Fuck off, Charlie. Your room still probably reeks of all your old hockey gear you refused to wash anyways.” You sighed, grimacing at him, trying to keep your face from turning any brighter red than it already was. 

“Night lovebirds. Thanks again for watching the gremlins. See you tomorrow?” He smirked, winking at you and Javi before slipping out the door, leaving you two standing alone in the guest room. 

“Good night, you guys! Thank you again!” Natalie shouted from down the hallway, you and Javi still standing frozen in place as you heard the front door open and close, locking behind your family traveling out of it. 

From the moment you knew the door was closed, you practically pounced on Javi, grabbing fistfulls of his shirt as your mouth met his with an electric intensity. Your lips crashed together as Javi ran his hands down your body, grabbing you under your thighs as your legs wrapped around the small of his back, hands tugging at the dark curls of his hair. “I need you so bad.” You moaned, your words barely escaping your lips above a whisper. 

“You sure your parents are gonna be home soon?” Javi groaned, making his way out of the guest room before carrying you down the hallway, your kisses still rushed and frantic as he made his way up the stairs towards your room. 

“What are we, 15? Charlie’s right, they’re both drunk off their asses so they won’t be back for hours, and even if they weren’t, I wouldn’t care. Fuck, watching you hold that baby did things to me.” Using his back to push open your bedroom door, Javi threw you down onto your bed, already shedding his shirt as you bounced on the mattress, a hungry look in his eyes as he reached down to practically rip your clothes off your body, tossing them in a heap on the floor. 

  “Yeah?” He smirked, hovering over you, trapping your body under his as he planted his hands into the mattress on either side of your head. He dipped his head down, slowly kissing his way up your body, his lips hot and heavy on your skin as they traveled up your stomach towards your breasts, swirling each pebbled nipple with his tongue, releasing with a wet pop, taking his sweet time as he worked his way up the exposed skin of your collarbone. “You like that? The thought of me putting a baby in you? Making me a dad?” You could feel his devilish grin pressed against your neck between his nips at your pulse point, basking in the power he knew his words had to make you lose your mind before even laying a finger on you. 

“Holy fuck…” You whimpered, already writhing beneath him, the ache building between your legs desperate to be filled even before Javi had begun whispering sweet nothings against your skin. “Javi, please, Jesus Christ.” You could feel yourself growing impatient as he toyed with you, working you up to the point of becoming unbearably needy before his hands had even met your body, getting you exactly where he wanted you. 

“Please what, Osita? Don’t think I heard you answer my question yet.” Javi mewled, a smug grin spreading across his face as he began to trail his kisses back down your body, finally bringing his hands to knead at the soft flesh of your breasts, rolling your nipples between his fingers, making you gasp, now only finding it harder to find the words for a coherent sentence. 

“Yes. Fuck. Fuck, I want you to put a baby in me so bad. Jesus, I’ll have as many of your babies as you want.” You paused, lifting your head up to watch Javi, sinking down to his knees at the end of the bed, nudging your legs open as he draped them over his shoulders, now satisfied with your answer. He looked up at you, noticing the equally big smirk on your face as you bit down on your lip. “You really want me to make you a daddy, huh?” 

Two could play at this game. 

As much as you joked about it, that one sent the blood flow straight to his cock, now painfully straining against the denim of his jeans, making him have to bite his tongue to keep from audibly groaning. “Fuckk meee.” He whispered, shaking his head before locking his arms over your legs, scooting you closer to him, now coming face to face with the worked up and dripping mess you had already become. “Seems like the answer to that question is already between your legs, baby. Pretty fucking pussy’s soaked and I haven’t even touched you yet.” 

“Javi, Jesus Christ, pleaseeeee.” You moaned, nearly bucking your hips at him in your desperate state. 

“Please, who?” Javi smirked, darting his eyes up at you, making you tremble as you felt the strong arch of his nose bump against your clit. 

“Seriously?” You huffed, rolling your eyes at Javi 1- for making you wait any damn longer, and 2- knowing the answer to his question, even if you only used it jokingly with him. Javi raised an eyebrow at you, letting out a little shrug that lifted your legs draped over his shoulders, waiting for your response. 

“Please, daddy.” 

“There ya go, baby.” 

“Asshole.” 

“Wasn’t planning on venturing there today, but can if you want me to.” 

“Jesus Christ… Javi, for the love of God, please, just fuck me. I am dying up here.” You sighed, laughing to yourself to ward off the impatient mess Javi had turned you into with his antics. 

“Wow, someone’s needy, hmmm? You want me to fuck you, sweet girl? Sure you don’t need me to-” 

“I need you so bad, Javi.” Sitting up on your elbows, you reached in front of you, trying to bend over the edge of the bed to prompt him to stand up so you could tug at the waistband of his jeans and unbutton his pants. Following your request, Javi rose up, now almost as frantic as you as he began to push his pants and his boxers down his legs, letting them pool around his ankles before stepping out of them, cupping his his hands around your cheeks, pressing his mouth against yours as his tongue swiped along your bottom lip. Just like that, his cool and collected facade had faded, leaving him just as worked up and wanting as you, his hands roaming every inch of your body before gently pushing you down to lay with your back on the mattress, prompting you to bring your knees to your chest as he stood at the edge of the bed. Reaching down to stroke himself, Javi lined his cock up with your dripping heat, collecting your arousal as his tip slid through your folds before pressing into you, the sweet stretch making you whimper. With how worked up you’d been, Javi slid in easily, flushing his hips against yours, his tip brushing along your cervix, pausing for a moment, buried deep inside of you. 

Before you could say anything, he pulled back out, setting a pounding pace as he thrusted in and out of you, his fingertips gripping at the meat of your thighs as they pressed against your chest. The fullness of his cock ramming into had you whining, your jaw going slack as stared up at Javi’s broad body hovering over you, the muscles of his arms flexing as he leaned further into you, snaking one of his hands between your legs to circle at your clit. “This what you wanted, Hermosa? Fuck you like the good girl you are? Fuck you like I’m gonna fuck a baby into you?” 

You nodded frantically, your mind going blank with each push and pull of his length sliding from your heat and rub of his fingers against your throbbing bundle of nerves, relishing in the sweet sound of Javi’s thighs slapping against yours, over and over. “Yes- fuck- oh my god, yes. Fuck, you feel so good, Javi. I want more. Baby, please, fuck me harder.” 

Your request had Javi’s eyes going wide, letting out a low groan through gritted teeth, his pace still relentless as he gazed down at you, watching you nod your head in silent reassurance. “Fuck. Turn around, Osita.” He hissed as he pulled out, watching you flip over as your chest laid on the mattress and stuck your ass out, Javi instinctively gripping his fingers into the soft flesh of your hips as he guided himself back into your cunt, the both of you moaning as he filled you with the delicious sting of his cock. He began snapping his hips against your ass, feeling you press yourself back deeper onto him with each thrust, knowing he was buried well within the spot that would have you teetering on the brink of coming undone. The lewd noises between your bodies fill the room- your hungry moans, the slapping of your skin, the wetness of your throbbing cunt as Javi pounded into you repeatedly, the filthy words falling from his mouth as he dug his fingers deeper into your hips.

“Fuck Javi, oh my god. Fuck, don’t stop. Don’t stop baby. Fuckkkk.” You whimpered, feeling the delicious tingle beginning to build at the base of your spine and your pussy starting to flutter. Javi wasn’t sure what it was- maybe it was the fact that you had practically begging him to fuck you, then give you more. Maybe it was watching you all fucked out and moaning beneath him. Maybe, it was the fact that watching you hold that baby made him want to give you your own. Whatever it was, something feral, almost primal ignited in him, reaching his arm underneath you to pull you up, pressing your back against his chest, wrapping his hands around your body, like he needed you as close as he could have you. One hand grasped at your breast, squeezing the plush skin between his fingers while the other draped across your waist, the heel of his palm rubbing against your throbbing clit as he feverishly fucked into you.  

 “I’m not gonna stop, Osita. Not gonna stop until you cum around my cock and I fuck myself so deep inside of you, I’m dripping out of you for days. Fuck myself so deep inside of you, maybe’ll fucking beat your birth control, huh? You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” 

You could feel your body beginning to tremble as the coil in your belly snapped, your orgasm ripping through you with an intensity that made your back arch against Javi’s chest, and legs shake, screaming his name as your cunt clenched tighter and tighter around his cock as the pleasure washed over you. It was only a few more thrusts before Javi was chasing his own high, ramblings of incoherent Spanish and English falling from his lips as he spilled deep inside of you, milking himself of every last drop with one final pump, feeling the mixture of your spend dripping down your thighs as your chests rose and fell in sync, the two of you trying to catch your breath as you hunched over against the bed. 

“Holy fuck…” You whispered, quietly laughing to yourself, laying face down on the bed as Javi grabbed the box of tissues from your dresser, unfamiliar where anything else was to help clean the two of you up, gently wiping the mess between your legs before throwing the wad of kleenex into the trash can. You crawled under the covers, smirking at Javi and biting down on the tip of your thumb as he made his way back to you. 

“What’s that look for?” He asked, chuckling to himself, sneaking under the covers next to you, squeezing his way into the cramped space that was your full-sized childhood bed. You draped your arm across his waist, resting your head on the bare skin of his chest, tracing gentle circles on his side as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you in tighter. 

“Holding that baby really did something to ya, huh?” You giggled, giving him a little playful shake in your grasp. 

“Did something to me? Says the one who was literally begging me to fuck her from the moment your brother picked up the kids and left.” Javi chuckled, gently stroking the messy ends of your hair through his fingers, nudging you back. 

“Okay, but can you blame me? Have you seen yourself hold a baby? Jesus Christ, Jav.” The both of you laughed, laying together for a moment before you felt Javi take a deep breath, your face rising and falling with the exhale of his chest. 

“Do you- Do you ever worry that I’m not gonna be a good dad?” Javi mumbled, his shaky voice barely above a whisper as he fidgeted with his fingers, his thumb carefully running over his knuckles. You paused for a second, almost wondering if you had misheard him, tilting your head up at him, shocked by the genuine concern pooling in his dark brown eyes. You pushed up on your elbows, resting your hand on his cheek to force his gaze onto yours. 

“Javi… Baby, are you serious?” You couldn’t help but almost laugh at the question, wondering how in the world Javi could be asking it with sincerity. He sat silent for a moment, his eyes darting away from yours, a small frown drawn between his lips. “Javi. Of course I think you’re gonna be a good dad. Why- Jav, why would you think that?” You brought your other hand to his face, drawing his attention back to you, trying to reassure him with your soft and sweet voice. 

Javi let out another sigh, anxiously chewing on his lip. “I just- I don’t know. I’ve done a lot of fucked up things. Things I’m not proud of. Holding that baby today made me realize how goddamn terrified I am that I’m gonna do something to fuck up. I’d do anything for you or our family, I just- fuck. What if it isn’t enough? What if I’m not good enough?” 

You could almost feel your heart shatter from the dismay of Javi’s words, immediately wrapping your arms around him and squeezing him as tightly as you could to comfort him, resting your head in the crook of his neck. “Javier Jesús Peña. Look at me.” You grabbed his face again, forcing him to let out a little laugh at your sarcastically stern tone. “Javi, there is no one else on the face of this earth I want to be the father of my children more than you. And not just because you’re gonna be the hottest dilf I’ve ever seen.” 

“Dilf?” Javi raised an eyebrow at you in confusion. 

“Dad I’d like to fuck. Jav, you are the sweetest, most thoughtful man I have ever met. You are so good with Olivia and Bri and Lucas, the Murphy girls, even my class of buffoons you were so patient and kind to. The fact that you even care enough to worry about these kinds of things tells me you’re gonna be the most amazing dad. I love you, Javi.” You smiled softly, pressing a tender kiss onto his lips, twisting your fingers through the dark curls at the nape of his neck. 

“I love you too, Osita. God, you’re gonna be the best mom. Our kids are gonna be so fucking lucky.” Javi grinned, gently brushing a strand of hair out of your face, the tension beginning to release from his body. 

“Oh believe me, I worry all the time that I’m not gonna be a good mom either. Knowing what a little menace I was as a kid, plus all the crazy little demons I’ve worked with throughout teaching… I’ve learned a lot of ways to not be a good parent, but I still always worry that I’m gonna end up raising a little Miguel who tries to hot glue his hands together or shove crayons up his nose and makes his teacher wanna cry everyday.” The two of you laughed, shaking your heads thinking of some of the many horror stories Javi had heard and you had witnessed over the years from children you were very glad were only your responsibility for one school year. 

“I hope our kids are like you.” 

“Really? You want our kids to be sarcastic, stubborn pains in our asses?” You teased, giving Javi a little nudge. “They better get your good looks if they’re gonna have my personality.” 

“Shut up, you dork.” He sighed, prodding you back, gently tickling your ribcage, making you giggle and squirm before wrapping his arms back around you, pulling you tightly against his chest. “Sometimes I still can’t fucking believe it.” 

“Believe what, ya goof?” 

“This. You. That I’m gonna fucking marry you. That you wanna give me a family and spend the rest of your life with me. That you fucking love me. I’d thought I’d given up on all this shit a long time ago. I’m really glad I didn’t have to.” 

“I’m really glad you didn’t have to either.” 

“Jesus Christ, could you not be so loud?!” Your dad whined, scrunching his brow in pain as he rubbed his temples with the worn callouses of his fingers as you and Javi made your way down the stairs, meandering into the kitchen. 

“Good morning to you too.” You laughed, reaching up to grab coffee mugs for you and Javi, as he leaned down, patting your dad on the back to greet him. 

“Hey, good to see you Mr.-” 

“For fucks sake, please- Jav, buddy, I love ya, I swear to God, if you keep talking so loud, I’m gonna sock you in the face.” A dramatic wince spread across your dad’s brow, pinching the bridge of his nose, holding up his free hand to stop Javi from speaking any further. 

“Fun night last night?” You snickered, setting down a warm cup of coffee for you and Javi as the two of you pulled up chairs at the kitchen table where your dad was sulking. 

“Well someone seems to think that every time he goes out drinking with Gary, he’s 21 again and isn’t going to suffer the consequences of endless Irish Car Bombs the next day.” Stumbling into the kitchen to join you, your mom grumbled as she wrapped her robe tighter around her chest, her look equally as disheveled as your dad’s. “Good to see you two, but what your dad said, not so loud, please.” Your mom sat down next to you, letting out a loud groan, reaching over to steal a swig of Javi’s coffee. “Sorry honey, you’re family now, and I’m hungover as shit.” 

“The coffee’s all yours.” Javi chuckled, pushing the mug over to your mom. 

“So what are all you idiots up to today?” Greg mumbled, taking a sip of his own coffee, trying his best to be interested in your presence, despite his pounding headache. 

“About to put that ice rink of yours to good use, old man.” David laughed, hands outstretched for high fives from you and Javi as he burst through the front door towards the kitchen. 

“Will you keep it down, you motherfucker? You won’t be alive to make it to the backyard if you keep screaming like that.” You could feel the annoyance radiating from your dad as he buried his face in his hands.

“Love you too, dad.” David snickered, giving your dad a hearty slap on the back, playing into his post-drinking pain. 

“Do you guys actually have an ice rink in your backyard?” Javi asked, trying to peer out the window over the kitchen sink to see if this was just your family trying to pull one over on him. 

“Yes, actually. Since we have such a big backyard, my dad decided to build one when Charlie first started skating, and it’s been there every winter ever since. I’m pretty sure Dad loves that rink more than he loves his own kids.” You laughed, rolling your eyes as Charlie slapped your dad, making him let out a long, exasperated sigh. 

“Honey, that is not true, your dad loves you very much!” 

“Right now I love the rink more than them. You know why? Because the rink is silent. It’s not yelling in my goddamn ear. She’s a beauty this year. Best it’s ever looked.” Your dad nodded, a slight grin building under the pain of his hangover. 

“I’ll believe it when I see it, Gregory.” Standing up out of his chair, David grabbed your dad by the shoulders, giving him another hardy slap on the back before heading back to the front door, returning with his skates, hockey gloves, and stick. “You guys ready? Charlie and Olivia should be here soon too.” 

“Only if you’re ready for me to kick your ass.” You smirked, joining David as you stood, leaving Javi still sitting in his chair, looking utterly terrified. “C’mon!” Outstretching your arm towards Javi, encouraging him to stand up with you and your brother, he slowly pushed himself out of his chair, wearily looking back and forth between the both of you. 

“I don’t uh- I don’t have any skates?” Javi grimaced, trying to think of an excuse for the inevitable embarrassment he knew he would be subjected to if anything other than shoes were on his feet. 

“Don’t worry, you’re not getting out of this one so easily, Jav. If there is one thing my parents will never get rid of, it’s skates, and I’m pretty sure we have at least one pair in every size known to man in the basement. You two go change, I’ll grab the gear.” David snickered, sneaking his way between you two towards the basement stairs, loudly pounding down each step. 

“Not so loud David, Jesus! Your feet are made of fucking cement!” Greg sighed, laying face down into the table, you and Javi trying to contain your laughter as you headed back upstairs to change. 

The forecast for today called for sunny skies and just below freezing- the type of day that was made for outdoor fun in the snow that came few and far between in Chicago’s cold and cloudy winters. Shuffling through your bag, you pulled out your thickest pair of leggings, along with a heavy heather gray hoodie, topped with one of the 3 Blackhawks jerseys still stashed at home in your childhood bedroom and your favorite Blackhawks beanie that had gone untouched since you had moved to Texas, not feeling the need to bring warm weather accessories with you. 

“Do you put the coat on over the jersey?” Javi asked, shuffling through his suitcase, looking for another layer to add over his long sleeved shirt, trying to brace himself for more than 30 seconds out in the cold. 

“Nope, no coat. It’s a balmy 29 today, Jav, that’s no jacket weather. Welcome to a midwest winter, babe.” You laughed, pressing up on your tiptoes to give him a quick kiss as you readjusted your hat on your head, making your way out the door, letting out a squeal as Javi brought his hand down to your ass, giving it a playful slap. 

“You look fucking hot in that jersey.” Javi bit down on his lip as he looked you up and down, raising an eyebrow at you as you whipped your head back around. 

“If you think trying to butter me up with compliments is gonna get you out of putting skates on, you are sadly mistaken, Mr. Peña.” You giggled as Javi pulled you back in, wrapping his arms around your hips, planting another soft kiss on your lips, his hand cupping your face. 

“A man can try, can’t he?” 

“C’mon, goofball, it’s hockey time.” 

“Auntie Bear, Auntie Bear! Watch me do my backwards skating! Watch, watch! I’m getting so good!” Olivia squealed as she watched you and Javi make your way out to the backyard through the path that had been plowed from the house to the homemade ice rink, which, all credit to your dad, looked better than any year you could remember it before. You and Javi clapped and cheered as you watched Olivia clumsily glide backwards across the ice, making it about halfway before plopping on her bottom and falling. “Oops! Okay, Auntie Bear, pretend you didn’t see that part!” 

“Nice job, Missy! You’re gonna be skating faster than me soon!” You grinned, sitting yourself down on the worn picnic table that had been your family’s skate tying station for more than 2 decades, pulling out your skates, gloves and stick, along with the pair David had picked out for Javi. You kicked off your boots, slipping on your skates and yanking the laces, the familiar squeeze of your foot inside for the first time in over a year bringing a childlike grin to your face. “You want any help?” You asked, looking over at Javi, unconfidently lacing up the rest of his skates. 

“I can help you, Uncle Javi! I’m helping Bri Bri learn how to skate since she doesn’t know how to either!” Olivia shouted from the other side of the rink, waving her arms at the two of you. 

“Just need help not getting my pride bruised by a 6 year old who can skate better than I can.” Javi sighed, pressing his hands on his thighs as he stood up, trying his best not to wobble at the lack of stability. “You have to promise not to laugh at me…” Taking another step towards the rink, Javi mumbled under his breath, looking over at you. 

“I promise… To only laugh a little.” You smirked, speeding off across the ice, using your stick to grab one of the pucks from the pile that had formed along the edges of the snowbank walls. Dragging it along the frozen surface, you weaved it between Charlie’s legs without him even noticing, speeding past him before he even had a chance to stop you. David, who could now see you coming, put himself in the way of your path, holding his stick out to try and snatch your puck for the rest of your lap. Cradling it in your stick, you shuffled the black rubber back and forth, giving it a backhanded nudge, spinning around and taking the puck with you as you flew past your brother. Making your way around the last curve of the rink, you swooped around, facing yourself towards the net, drew your stick back and slapped the puck into the goal. 

“She shoots, she scores! Go Auntie Bear!” Olivia squealed, pumping her fists in the air as you skated back around to grab her, hoisting her up off the ice, giving her a little shake before gently setting her down and making your way back to Javi. 

“Showoff…” Javi laughed, trying his best to roll his eyes despite his genuine admiration for how impressed he was with what he had just watched you do. 

“Sorry, I’m done now. Gotta put everyone back in their place now that I’m home.” You smirked, giving Javi a little shrug as you nodded towards the rink. “C’mon-I promise I won’t laugh at you, I swear. At least for the first part.” 

You weren’t sure if it was Javi trying to muster every ounce of athletic talent that he had in his body, or simply the fact that he was just as stubborn as you (even if he wouldn’t admit it), but after only a few wipeouts (and some helpful tips from Olivia), Javi making his way around on skates well enough to not be completely embarrassed for his first time on the ice. It didn’t take long for skating to turn into grabbing fist fulls of snow from the edge of the rink, pressing them into snowballs and hurling them at one another, all of you slipping and sliding across the ice in laughter and hysterics from your battle. After a quick break inside for hot chocolate, Olivia had somehow roped you and Javi back outside to build a snowman before she went home, insisting that her Uncle Javi needed to learn how to make one since he never had before.  

3 hefty balls of snow and several carefully selected sticks later, your snowman was nearly complete, You, Javi and Olivia taking a step back to admire your work, assessing what final touches needed to be added before you could call your project completed. “Alright, cutie pie. What else does our snowman need so we can finish?” You asked, shaking Olivia’s shoulders as she took her mitten covered hands to scratch her head, deep in thought as she analyzed your creation. 

“Hmmmmm. It still needs eyes… and a nose… and a name!” Olivia beamed, looking up at you and Javi. 

“Well, I think we can find some rocks for eyes, and I bet you can ask Grandma and Grandpa for an extra reindeer carrot for the nose, and we’ll let you decide on the name, Little Miss!” You smiled as Javi draped his arm over your shoulder, pulling you in closer to press a little kiss onto your beanie while Olivia had turned back around to gaze at her snowman. 

“I think… I think that his name should be Uncle Patrick! So that way he can still be here because I bet he misses playing hockey, and he’s really close to the ice rink. Do you think he misses us, Auntie Bear?” 

Over the past year, you had learned to deal with the comments and questions about your brother with less pain and suffering and more acceptance and forgiveness. Unfortunately, there was nothing from the past year that could have prepared you for the sucker punch that was your sweet, 6 year old niece, who didn’t even fully grasp the concept of death, let alone the reason why he was gone, to ask if your dead brother missed her. You took a shaky breath, trying to compose yourself before you spoke, fighting back the tears that had instantly begun welling in your eyes and pit growing in your stomach. 

“I uh- yeah, um. Yeah. I do think he misses us, Olivia.” You mustered everything you could to spread somewhat of a smile as Olivia turned back around towards you and Javi, a puzzled, sad look growing across her little face. 

“Then why did he have to leave if he misses us? Did he not love us?” 

You weren’t quite sure how a tiny voice had left such a big hole in your heart. You tried to find any words to answer her innocent question, racking your brain for ways to provide any explanation that you could rationalize to her, or yourself. 

“Well, um…” You paused, taking a moment to get down on her level, almost as if to try and find a way to buy yourself more time to formulate your response. “Um- Olivia- Your Uncle Patrick… he was really sick. Not in a way that you get sick when you have a cold, or the flu, but sick in a way that makes your brain and your heart really sad. He did love us. He loved us a lot. But sometimes- sometimes when people are sick like how Uncle Patrick was- It… it doesn’t matter how much they love you, or you love them. Their heart hurts so much that they can’t see it. It- it hurt his heart less to leave than to stay.” 

A bitter silence hung in the air, the wetness from your eyes cold against your cheeks from the sting of the December breeze. You could feel the weight in your heart tugging towards the pit of your stomach from your painful admittance. You took a shaky breath, waiting for someone to say something, anything, before the hurt in your own heart built enough for you to lose your composure and burst into tears. You could almost hear the gears in Olivia’s little brain turning, her head gently tilted to the side, leaving you holding your breath as you waited for her response. She let out a little sigh, staring at the ground before staring back up at you. 

“I miss him, Auntie Bear.” 

“I miss him too, Olivia.” 

Reaching her arms up, Oliva wrapped herself around your waist, tightly hugging your hip, pressing her face into your jacket. The two of you stood there for a moment, tears welling in your eyes as you engulfed your niece in your grasp.

“Olivia! Time to go, munchkin! Momma’s gonna be mad if we’re late for dinner!” Charlie yelled, peeking his head out of the doorwall to the back porch, the glow of the house gently shining into the snow against the slowly darkening sky. 

“Okay, Daddy!” Olivia called back, lifting her head up from against your coat where her face had been resting. “Bye Auntie Bear! Love you!” 

“Uh-yeah, yeah, bye Cutie. Love you, too.” You stammered, choking back your tears, staring at the unfinished snowman in front of you. 

“Olivia, why don’t uh, why don't I take you inside, okay?” Javi chimed in, gently wrapping his arm around Olivia’s shoulder, ushering her towards the house, shooting you a sympathetic smile, trying to find a way to give you a moment to yourself. The two of them made their way back to the house, stomping through the snow as you were left alone, silent sobs heaving from your chest. The longer you looked at the three snowballs piled on top of each other, the wetter your face became, the unfinished piles of snow, just as unfinished as the life Patrick could have had ahead of him. So caught up in your grief and tears, you hadn’t heard Javi trudge his way back, immediately wrapping his arms around you as soon as he could reach you, holding you tightly as you sobbed into his coat. 

“Why’d he have to go? Why did it have to be him? It’s not fair. It’s not fucking fair. I miss him so much, Javi.” 

“I know, baby. I know.” Javi sighed, pulling you in closer, pressing you against his chest, letting you soak his jacket with your tears until you didn’t have any left, your breaths becoming slow and deep as you finally looked back up at him with your red, wet eyes. 

“Does it ever get easier? Does it ever stop hurting so much?” Your voice trembled, sniffing between each word, trying to pull yourself together. Javi paused for a moment, letting out a long exhale, his hot breath fogging against the cold December air. 

“It’ll- it’ll always hurt. I don’t know if it ever gets easier, but you learn how to live with it. But if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that being mad about it only makes it hurt more.” 

“Well I am mad at him, ‘cause he’s a fucking idiot.” You managed to let a small huff of laughter out between your tears, bringing your hand up to wipe your face, cheeks red and wet from your crying and the cold. “Sorry, I just… Olivia hasn’t talked about him a lot since he died, it- I was trying really hard not to think about it. Tomorrow will be one year since he’s been gone. It kinda all just hit me at once. Stupid fucking snowman.” 

 “Osita, you don’t have to apologize. It’s okay, baby. And hey, I think whoever made those snowballs did pretty good fucking job.” He smirked, giving you a little shake in his grasp, as the two of you looked back at the snowman.

“Yeah, he did alright.” You let out a little laugh, poking fun at Javi’s work before turning as you heard David’s footsteps clunking his way through the snow, making his way towards you. 

“Olivia make you cry about the stupid snowman, too?” David sighed, gesturing at your messy wet face before nodding back at the snowman, the 3 of you silently laughing to yourselves. “God, I miss that stupid motherfucker.” 

“Yeah. Me too.” 

“You missed out on the best rink Dad’s ever made, shithead. Your loss. You’re lucky your niece is nice enough to still want to include you. Serves you right she left you with skinny ass twig arms and an unfinished face.” David huffed, playfully kicking a pile of snow at the snowman, crossing his arms over his chest. “Jesus, I can’t believe I’m shit talking my dead brother beyond the grave through a fucking pile of snow.” 

“Like he wouldn’t do the same for you?” You smirked, giving David a punch on the arm as he rolled his eyes at you, shoving you back with enough force to make you stumble, toppling you over into a laughing heap in the snow. Sitting up, you looked over at the hockey rink, shimmering in the overcast of the porch lights, covered in the pucks and sticks that had been left from earlier. You smiled, pushing yourself out of the snow, making your way over to the ice and picking up one of the hockey sticks, dragging it back with you before propping it up against the frame of the snowman to make it look like he was holding it. “Can’t say we didn’t at least try to include you, jackass.” 

You let out a long exhale, nodding to yourself, a small smile drawn between your lips as you looked back at David and Javi, giving them a reassuring grin before turning around to head towards the house. Giving their own silent nod to the snowman, David and Javi followed behind, the 3 of you trudging through the white, fluffy snow, crunching under your boots.

The rest of your time at home, you couldn’t help but find yourself peeking out the back porch window, a silent smile creeping across your cheeks as you watched gentle white flakes fall on the snowman sitting in your yard, hockey stick resting in its twig hand as it sat next to your rink. It was a sight that somehow hurt and healed you at the same time. It pained you to know that a half-assed snowman in your backyard would be the closest you’d ever get to having your brother around again- that just like him, one day, as the weather turned, your snowman would start to fade away, melt into the earth, and disappear, never to be seen again.

But, just as seasons come and go, bringing change with each new month, you couldn’t help but feel your heart grow warm as you looked out at the rounded piles of snow stacked on one another- Patrick’s passing had forced you to change, to grow, to become a stronger person than you were a year ago. Change that had started off as fear and heartache, that somehow turned into the best thing that could have ever happened to you. Change that helped you find the love of your life when you least expected it. While Javi could never replace Patrick, his presence in your life, and your family’s life, had filled a void that all of you didn’t know you needed until he was in it. And while you’d never stop wishing you could have changed the end to your brother’s story, you knew he’d be smiling looking down on you, knowing the end of his story helped to change yours for the better.

Taglist:

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[speedycoffeedelight]

An Animalistic Disaster

CH-17: Mr. Cottontail

Masterlist

Summery:

Where you recollect more of your memories and open a bunch of trading cards. And a duo might have figured out the reason behind transformation, but we'll see.

A.n : There's going to be some heavy lore drop here. So just brace yourself a little. Also from now, the animal's dialogues will be in italics so it's easy to understand. I'll get to editing the previous chapters as well.

"I swear to god...one of these morning I'm going to have a heart attack."

You grumbled while sitting and held your head in your palm. You looked at Cherri who was in a makeshift cage made from a big plastic basket, trying to shake it and screeching. She had to learn her lesson some way. Your head was still pounding right now.

Then you looked at Husk who was trying his best to fit into the biggest shirt you had. The buttons on his chest were holding on for dear life. Honestly, it kinda made you jealous.

Husk was a black man who seemed to in his late 40's or 50's. He had black hair pulled back with white streaks on them as well as a small goatee. He had light yellow eyes that looked tired as hell. And the muscles in his hand, holy shit, it looked like he could easily carry you up like a feather. Husk was easily the best thing of this morning.

He of course also had feline features like before. A pair of black cat ears and tail adorned his form. He also had slitted black eyes. His nails were a bit sharper too.

And of course neither of you were prepared for him to transform in middle of sleeping, nobody was. God the embarrassment and confusion you felt when you opened your eyes to see an old handsome man staring at you with sleepy eyes, just as confused as you were.

You would have immediately swooned if not for the fact that you didn't know this guy and the fact he was shirtless, on your fucking bed, cuddling you.

So you did the first thing that came to your mind. You let out a loud scream and pushed him off the bed. He landed on the ground in front of Charlie and others with a big thud. "Oof, what the hell-" Cherri burst out laughing beside you. 'Now that's more like it!'

"Husk are you alright?" Charlie immediately kneeled down to check for injuries. "Husk??" You pulled the cover to your chest and looked down to see him properly. But you quickly averted your gaze when you saw he was shirtless with just a pant on. But that image will forever be engraved into your simp brain.

So after that was all over, you learnt what happened and caged Cherri. She was grounded till she learnt her lessons. You rubbed your head in frustration as Niffty brought you a cup of coffee.

"Here you go miss (Y/n)!"

You thanked her and took a sip. She still looked at you like she was waiting for something. Confused, you raised an eyebrow.

"...Do you need something Niffty?"

"You didn't pat my head." She said it like it was obvious and kept looking at you with wide eyes. You got surprised at this answer. 'She wants to be petted??' but then you remembered she was part dog now and that's probably the reason she was acting like this.

You reached out and patted her head making her smile happily as she wagged her tail. 'Adorable~' you thought in your mind.

Last night's memory was a bit hazy to you. You rubbed your head in frustration trying to remember it. Angel climbed onto the table grinning at you.

'Toots, didn't know ya were such a lightweight. Haha, but you gave quite a show last night, I'll give ya that." Niffty translated it, making you more worried. You asked her to recount the things to you. Pentious joined you since he wasn't there last night as well.

" I did what?"

Last night's memory came flooding back to you bit by bit as you listened. You, you finally petted Alastor's ears! You couldn't believe it.

'What's with the screaming, my dear?'

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. You grinned as you turned to face the stag. "I finally patted you, you smiling bastard!" You mentally cheered as you looked at him with a prideful smile. Alastor felt his face get hot again at that memory and he bonked you on the head with his antlers.

"OUCH what was that for!"

After you finished eating, you drove Charlie off to the cafe. Apparently Vaggie knew how to drive so she went with you two so she could memorize the roads. Once she memorizes she could drive Charlie sometimes as well.

After waving her off at the shop, you quickly departed. You let Vaggie take the wheel this time while you gave directions. Vaggie was an excellent driver. You were quite impressed.

Charlie took a deep breath as she got dropped off and watched you two drive away." This is it Charlie. You gotta make them proud. Right, let's do this!"  she entered the store after mentally cheering herself.

"Oh hi there Charlie. Good to see you back."

Adrian gave her a warm smile as he was middle of cleaning. He put the broom he was cleaning with aside and guided her to the counter. He gave her a new apron to wear that had the cafe's name on it.

"Alright, I'll show you the ropes first time. Then it'll be up to you."

Charlie nodded and took the apron.

"Also won't you take off those horns and ears? You're in middle of work now."

She gulped, right, these weren't normal. But she hadn't practiced what to say during this. She thought it would be okay since they didn't question it before.

"Uh...can they please stay on? I promise you they won't cause any trouble!"

"Huh? Oh..okay then. I just thought it might be easier if you took them off."

Just then a ring sounded out from the door, signaling someone entered the shop. Adrian flashed Charlie a quick look while smiling.

"Come on, it's showtime!"

At evening, you went to go pick up Charlie. As Charlie was about to get into the car, Adrian called out to her.

"Charlie, wait!"

You and Charlie both looked at Adrian who rushed to you guys with a small bag.

"A small gift for your first day at work." He handed Charlie the bag and grinned.

"There's a piece of strawberry cake inside. Have a safe return home."

Charlie delightfully thanked him and got back into the car. While you were driving she told you about her experience which you listened to happily. It seemed like the day went pretty well. Even though there weren't much customers, Charlie enjoyed her time there. Plus from what you heard and saw, Adrian seemed to be a good boss.

The next day, you drove Charlie again as Vaggie sat with you. Pentious joined you this time as some of his works were done. Husk came as well to buy some clothes and as well as take a look at the human world. During the drive, Husk remembered something.

"Hey kid, I forgot to ask you this before but who the hell is cottontails?"

Those words hit you like a lightning as you brain started to overwhelm with memories. It's been a long while since you heard that name.

"W-where did you hear that name?"

"When you were holding me a day ago. You whispered you missed whatever it was."

"That was my pet bunny...I lost him when I was six. That night, my parents had a huge argument after dinner and we moved to my uncles house the very next day. In the end, I never knew what happened to it."

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You weren't allowed to keep pets when you were a child. Your dad claimed it would be a waste of time and it will take your attention away from your duties. One day, while you were walking outside on your lawn, you stumbled across a small frail baby bunny. There was only one and it looked like it didn't even have the energy to move. After looking around, you found no signs of any other rabbits around.

You found yourself in a pickle. Your heart cried to take it home and care for it. But another part of you warned that if your father found out, you'd be in big trouble. You picked up the small thing, lost in thought and whispering "What am I going to do with you little bunny? "

The bunny moved a little and sniffed your hand, making your heart swoon. You decided immediately "Heck with it! Having a small bunny will be fine! Plus they won't make any noises like kitties or doggies! I can do this! I'll just need to be careful!"

The bunny again stopped moving in your arms and seemingly fell asleep. Your eyes glazed over it, trying to think of a name.

"I think I'll call you....mr.cottontails!"

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Several months went by after getting mr.cottontails. You kept him under your bed. You always cleaned your own room by yourself so it wasn't a problem. You would let him run around your room once you locked the door and quickly hide him when someone was coming. Your dad was quite suspicious at how you looked so cherry recently but didn't question it. On the other hand, your mom was quite happy with this change in you.

Then one day, while you were on your way to your room after finished studying with your tutor, you spotted your dad. He seemed to be amused by something. He spotted you as well and gave you a smile.

"Isn't it a nice day today? Are you doing alright (Y/n)?"

You were taken aback by his sudden change of attitude but nodded and said everything was fine. Something was clearly wrong, you could feel it in your gut.

You rushed to your room after that and looked for your rabbit. It was gone... "Cottontail? Mr.cottontail??" You called out yet you couldn't spot the familiar ball of fluff running towards you like usual.

You spent the rest of the day trying to find him but no avail. There was no sign of him anywhere. And you couldn't even ask anyone else if they've seen him cause you're not supposed to have one in the first place.

Then your mind went to your father earlier, it had to him! That's why that damn man was smiling at you.

At dinnertime, you were fighting to keep your tears from coming out. You couldn't afford to let yourself be broken in front of him. You knew that he knew about you knowing what he did. He was just waiting for you to burst so he can properly punish you for going against his rules.

While your mom was serving you the stew for that night's dinner, she could sense something was wrong.

"(Y/n) dear, is everything alright?"

"Y-yes, mom, everything's fine. Don't worry."

"Of course everything's fine with her. (Y/n), today's stew is extra delicious, go ahead and try." Your dad said from across the table, grinning at you. You couldn't bear to look at this man's face properly. The rest of the dinner was quiet with you almost crying in the middle.

After you finished eating, you went straight to your room and locked the door and started crying. Sometime later, you heard your parents fighting over something. You pulled a pillow over you head to stop hearing to those as you sobbed harder.

You hated this. You hated screaming and fighting. You hated living here. You hated your dad. You hated it, hated it, hated it.

You wanted to go out and be with your mom. But you knew better then to do that. The last time you did, you just made things worse. You don't know after how long, it could have been several minutes or several hours, but your mom knocked on your door to tell you to pack and that you're leaving. The rest of the time went down in a haze and before you knew it, you both were standing in front of your aunt's house.

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After dropping off Charlie, you and Pentious went around shops to try and resell those fixed products and let Vaggie show Husk around a little. You successfully managed to resell some of the products.

After that, you bought some cloths for the bartender. Husk had been nagging you nonstop to buy some booze since the beginning. So you did, but you made him use his puppy eyes first. Husk hated every second of that but he swallowed down his pride for booze. He was too far gone at that point.

After coming home, you received a delivery of the cards you ordered. You immediately got down to opening them after squealing in happiness.

"Please give me an Alastor card.. please give me an Alastor card..."

"You really want Alastor's card that badly?" Charlie said laughing and sitting next to you.

"Of course I do! He's my favourite character!" You mumbled while collecting the packs from the box. Suddenly you could feel eyes on you from the back. You sighed.

"Alastor I can feel your smugness from here, stop it." You turned around at the deer behind you.

'I didn't do anything dear. I'm just standing here and observing ' Alastor had shit eating grin in his face. 'Though I am very much charmed you consider me as your favourite.'

"Someone tell me what he's saying. I know he's enjoying this too much." You picked up a pack and finally opened it.

Niffty translated it for you. "Yeah well I liked you better when you were in a cartoon, not annoying my ass off."

The first holo card you got was of Charlie's. Charlie's face lit up seeing it and immediately showed it to Vaggie. You got Angel, tom treanch and a new character called lute in too. After opening  three more packs, you were presented with holo Angel, Vellevette and razzle and dazzle. And you also found an ultra rare card of Lilith. Yet there was no sign of Alastor.

You were lucky enough to get normal cards for most of the cast present with you though. You handed them their own cards. Sighing you picked up the final pack and looked Alastor dead in the eye.

"You better be in here deer boy."

'Oh she means business this time angie.' Cherri chuckled leaning onto the spider. 'yeah and this shits hilarious to watch.' Both of their own cards were in front of them. Angel with his holo card and Cherri with the normal one.

"Is that a fucking condom you're holding there?" Husk was leaning down looking at Angel's card while pointing at it. Angel shot him a smug grin while wriggling his eyebrows. 'Yeah, it is. You like what you see here kitty?'

Husk didn't say anything and just knocked Angel away with a flick of his fingers. The corner of his lips turned up seeing how easily he can move angel away now.

'What, hey! What the fuck Husk?!'

"You deserved it."

With your heart pounding, you opened the last pack and pulled out the holo one. Others looked at you eagerly to see your reactions.

"I fucking got Alastor! Let's go!"

You jumped up on your bed from the excitement, surprising everyone.

"Look! Look! Alastor it's you!" You practically shoved the card in front of his face, making him take a step back. Before he could see clearly you took back the card to see it again while fangirling.

"Look at my little boy with all these creepy symbols around him! He's so pretty!" You were so happy that you couldn't care less that the real Alastor was right in front of you. Until Alastor nudged you on your head with his antlers and grabbed the card with his teeth.

"Hey, give it back!" You streached your hand to grab it but he turned around and placed the card on the table before you could do anything. He finally took a good look at his card. 'Hm, not bad.' You finally went to the table and snatched it back.

After you carefully stored the cards, you began preparing dinner while humming. Angel and Cherri was lazily sitting on the counter while looking at you.

'Hey Angel, how come we didn't transform yet? It sucks being in this form..'

'You tell me toots. That snake boy and kitty cat got to transform before I did. Now that's some bullshit right there.'

'There's gotta be some kinda link somewhere right?'

'There have to be! Wait..if we think about it... when they all transformed...they were all with (Y/n) right?'

'Shit, Angie you might be onto somethin'

You gave the guys their food. You had to drag Husk to the dinner table since he was passed out drunk on the couch. You called Pentious from outside as well. Recently he took on a new task. He volunteered to fix the shitty wooden sofa set you had. You were truly grateful for that.

During dinner, Cherri climbed on top of your right shoulder and Angel on left. You paused eating to look at them with confusion.

'We decided that we want to stay as close to (Y/n) we can from now on!'  Cherri said making everyone squint their eyes at them.

"Uh, guys...can y'all tell me what they're saying?"

Charlie translated it for you making you even more confused.

"But why?"

'Because we want to!'

Everyone just shook their head thinking this pair was just being their usual chaotic self. But you realised they weren't joking when you went to sleep and they both cuddled up to you, declaring they'll sleep there. Normally you'd think this was cute, however there were two problems.

One, is that, you might move in your sleep and accidentally squish these small creatures. Especially Angel.

Two, they were laying on your chest....

"Angel..Cherri...can I ask why you decided THIS would be a good place to sleep on?"

'What? Ya got nice pair of tit's and they make a nice pillow.'

'Plus Husk slept too did't he?'

Niffty who was sitting beside you translated it making you go blush madly. You quickly shoved them both away and pulled the cover closer to yourself.

"Fuck no. Pervert! I was drunk that time! Either sleep on a pillow next to me or get out of my room!"

At last they both slept next to you after you scolded them for some time. Next two days went the same way. Angel and Cherri were with you everywhere. They even tried to sneak into your shower before you found out and kicked them out. Currently they were both sitting on top of your kitchen counter, munching on nuts and fruits lazily. Husk was making himself a burger currently.

'Nothin's working...where did we go wrong?'

'We definitely missed something. Our plan was bulletproof! We're just missing one key point...'

'We spent the whole last two days with 'er twenty four hours. I think we have seen and know everything about her already! We even know how she almost cried while editing her news'

'Or how she tilts her head when she doesn't understand something?' Cherri piped in.

'or when she sings when she thinks no one was listening.' Angel said laughing. 'Oh her face is priceless when she gets caught. She still sometimes forgets that she lives with a whole bunch of demons now.'

'Have you noticed the BL manga's of her's-'

They continued chatting like this for a while, pointing out small details that you do, things that you like or dislike and laughing amongst themselves.

'Haha...that girl really is something..'

'Yeah, She's completely my type.'

'Ya might want to confess quickly then. Otherwise I might just steal her first ' Angel said winking. Cherri scoffed and bumped him with her tail.

'Hey what gives? I thought you were gay?'

'I am, But who am I to resist a sweet thing like her. She's an exception.'

' You already have Alastor and Husk to fawn over. Leave (Y/n) to me bastard.'

'No can do sweetheart. First come, first serve'

They both looked at each others eyes for a second then burst out laughing. It might seem like they were joking from the front, but they both knew they were seriously attracted to you.

Suddenly they both got engulfed in golden light. Husk stopped in the middle of biting his burger and looked at them wide eyed. Now in place of the spider and the squirrel, there were two humans.

Angel and Cherri looked at each other, wide eyed. Angel opened his mouth first.

"Shit I think I know the key behind transforming!"

A.n: Now I know there are tons of fanarts of human Husk with White skin but I'll always headcannon Husk as a black man, the same colour as his VA. And I'll die on this hill defending that.

Plus it's refreshing to have different veraites of race and colour presented (⁠~⁠‾⁠▿⁠‾⁠)⁠~

Also might go on a little break since some of my important college exams are coming up. Hope ya enjoyed the chapter ~

Tag list: @legostars @glowinthedarkbones1150 @darifes @aria-tempest @rainbowcake1212 @luxylucylou

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x reader #charlie x reader #Vaggie x reader #angel dust x reader #husk x reader #Niffty #cherri bomb x reader #human charlie #human Vaggie #human angel dust #human husk #human alastor #human niffty #human cherri bomb #human sir pentious #sir pentious x reader #hazbin hotel husk #Charlie #Vaggie #hazbin hotel fanfic

[smok3r7]

Latching On To You

Joel Miller x F!reader

Explicit, 18+

Chapter Three: Devil’s River

Series Masterlist & My Main Masterlist - My Ao3

Series summary: What happens when, after thirteen loving years of being with Joel, you start to feel like he’s slipping away from your grasp? How much of yourself will you lose because of the trauma your father put you through at such a young age? You could be wrong about Joel, but something is telling you otherwise - or are you just not healed enough to see past your own insecurities?

Chapter summary: Joel isn’t home when you wake up and doesn’t come home that evening, all you knew was that he was with Tommy. So with the house to yourself, you take care of a few things, then call your best friend. She wants to take you out for some fun downtown, but when you two end up getting into some trouble, will Joel come save you or is it too late?

Word count: 5.3k

Warnings: slight age difference (35/40), No use of y/n, no outbreak AU, no Sarah AU, angst, self harm with cocaine and drinking, TW:SA ATTEMPT(NOT JOEL), violence to reader from SA assault, going unconscious, reader ends up in hospital

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“C’mon Joel, pick up. PICK up. PICK UP.” Rita repeats to the phone. “FUCK,” Joel doesn’t answer for the fifth time, “umumum..” she mumbles with shaky breaths, she is shaking your body to keep you awake, Rita rings up Tommy’s number she found in your contacts.

“Please stay awake babes, you’re gonna be okay.” She tells you as her free hand taps your face, you can hear how frightened she is but you’re not able to say or do anything back to her. “Thank GOD! Tommy it’s Rita, we need your help please!” Rita screaming into the phone is the last thing you hear before your brain tells you to shut your eyes.

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You don’t remember falling asleep last night, all you can remember is watching the ceiling fan spin over and over again, kind of trance like. The sun rays creep through your bedroom window, you must've forgotten to close the curtains last night. Reluctantly you open your eyes and stretch out your exhausted body and read the clock, “11:21AM”. You sigh, wishing you could stay curled up in your soft sage green comforter, however you’re assuming the food never got put away after the fiasco last night.

As you sit yourself up against the headboard, you get this aching sensation in your right temple, “Great.” You mumble, a migraine is just what you need today, fucking unbelievable. You slowly make yourself head to the bathroom once again, but this time you open the medicine cabinet and snag the Advil bottle, fill up a glass of water, and pop two of them.

Looking in the mirror again, you see the reflection of yourself - but it’s almost like a third person visual, you can’t explain the feeling in your brain, you’re just kind of there, in the moment. But you shake yourself from getting too in depth about this and you grab your toothbrush and begin your morning.

Still wearing Joel’s green flannel and a pair of shorts, you creep down your staircase, wondering if Joel came back and you just didn’t hear him. You’re really hoping he’s home, even if he’s still mad, you just want to know he’s still here.

Slowly rounding the corner, you roll your eyes as you see the steel pot still on the stove, both your plates on the dining room table, the radio still playing a station, and the dish washer still open. You groan and bring your hands to your face out of pure frustration, “Fuck you Joel.” You speak into your hands, so angry and confused - completely unaware of how this happened so fast.

The ringing of your phone makes you jump out of your skin, you look at the device on the counter, and as you move towards it you read the name, “Tommy” on the screen. You laugh to yourself, the coincidence of him calling right now is almost comedic. You’re not sure you want to answer, but you do anyway, “Hello?” You almost whisper, like you're sneaking away to make a call.

“Hey hun..um,” Tommy sounds concerned but also pissed, “Look - I just wanted to tell you that Joel is here, has been since last night.” You stay silent, not really sure what to say or think right now. A long uncomfortable silence falls between the two of you and you almost hang up before you slightly hear in the background, “What is she saying?”.

You now feel like a fucking idiot. You thought Tommy actually cared and wanted the best for you, but this shows he’s being a pawn in Joel’s game, even though Tommy didn’t need to be. “Tell Joel, if he wants to know what I’m saying - maybe he should be a man and talk to his wife him-fucking-self.” You hang up before either of them get a chance to have a rebuttal, which definitely would’ve started more arguments.

You look around the kitchen and dining room you share with Joel, you put your cell on DND and onto the counter - you’ve hit the point where your emotions have calmed. You’re almost in a shell shocked kind of state, no anger or resentment, just numb to the core. It’s been a long time since you’ve felt this way, and usually you would reach out to Isabelle around times like this and she would make you feel like the world wasn’t on fire anymore.

But you can’t do that now, you’re on your own with this - or that’s how you feel right now. You don’t want to involve your mom because she has her own shit to deal with, she doesn’t need her daughter’s problems on top of it - or that’s what you think, even though you know she would drop everything to help you.

You take a deep shaky breath, glancing back at the diamond on your finger, a smile appears but as fast as it came, it was gone. Before you get lost in memories that almost seem nonexistent now, you turn the radio louder, and you begin to clean up. Put the pasta into a Tupperware container, clean the pot and dishes from the table, scrub the counters, and then you mop the floor. A sense of peace comes over you as you step back and look at the sparkling kitchen. Come to find out, you love cleaning when you’re stressed, it gives you some sense of control in situations when you don’t have any.

—

“So you’re telling me he just left?! Without saying anything?” Your best friend, Rita, yells causing you to pull the phone away from your ear for a second. “Yes dude…I’m just completely floored by him right now.” You scoff, taking a swig of the Jack Daniel’s bottle you grabbed from the cabinet that Joel built for all your expensive liquors you two bought over the years. “Is he still gone?” She questions, “Yep,” you look over to the clock on your wall, “It’s juussttt around the time shit started last night.” You laugh to yourself.

“Okay well I’m coming over and we’re going out, you need to leave the energy that is in the house right now.” Rita squeals to herself and before you can reject her idea she says, “and don’t even think about telling me no. You haven’t been out with me in months, you owe me pretty much!”

You throw your head back in laughter, Rita always knew what to do in your times of need, you’re really thankful for her - she is like the slightly older sister you never had. You two met through Joel’s work at a Christmas party, she actually is another construction worker, and you two clicked immediately. She’s the one who first brought up the Samantha thing before you had even said anything to anyone about your suspicions - so you and Rita are close to say the very least.

“Okay okay, I’m already,” you hold up the bottle to your face, “just abouttt…half way through a Jack Daniel’s .. you’ll have to catch up sister!” You hear her snort on the other end, “God damn girl, I’ll be over in an hour, be ready, I love you!” You tell her you love her and hang up the phone, you now look around the silent house as you sit on the sectional you had Joel move in yesterday.

You had cleaned the entire house - first and second floor. Kitchen, dining room, living room, both bathrooms, did laundry, cleaned up the bedroom and the guest room, and then the patio. The place looked like a beautiful home where a family should be thriving, but it was only you here.

“Nope. Not getting upset, I’m going to have fun tonight!” You talk to yourself as you stand up, having to balance yourself, and you begin to walk upstairs. Scrolling through your music on your phone until you find The Chain by Fleetwood Mac. “Fuck yeah.” Is all you whisper while the instruments start and you sway your hips to the bedroom to get ready.

—

And it all comes down to you

Well, you know that it does and

Lightning strikes maybe once, maybe twice

Oh and it lights up the night

And you see your gypsy

You see your gypsy

The song bounces through the empty halls of the house, you and Rita are in your bathroom sitting on the sink finishing up your makeup. Your outfits are very similar, without even talking about it, both wearing black cowboy hats and boots, the difference was you were wearing a white lace crop top and a black mini skirt with a black knit shawl, and Rita was wearing a black tight dress with a white fur coat.

You two decided to go to the Devil’s River, a small country bar downtown, Joel and you have gone there hundreds of times together, over the years it has turned into one of your favorite spots.

“God I love Stevie Nicks, I wish I had her style.” Your words kind of blur together as you do last minute touch ups - when Rita showed up about twenty minutes ago, she helped you with finishing the whiskey you had opened a couple hours ago. So you and her were already pretty drunk, but you couldn’t be happier than right now and the night hasn’t even started yet.

Rita looks at you and praises you, “Babe you have your own personal style. Which is a mix of Stevie Nicks, country girl, and 90’s Hip hop!” You laugh at the wild mix of genres she put you in, “Like tonight - country with the cowgirl hat and boots, Stevie with your shawl, and 90’s with your crop top and skirt! All very hot by the way!”

“I love you so much.” Is all you can tell her, Rita is the best person to be friends with, this just solidified that for you. “Okay,” she hugs you, “the Uber should be out front any second, let’s go have some fun babes!” She smiles at you, which you mirror back to her.

After double checking everything was locked, you two carefully trot down the white wooden steps of your front porch towards the black SUV with a blue light that says, “UBER”. You are so ready to have some fun, you need this tonight, a night to forget yesterday, a night to remember - life is still fun even if shit goes downhill.

—

“Thank you Ma’am!” The two of you shout to your driver as you both walk towards the front door of the building. Stopping to look at the sign, “Devil’s River” in bright red LED lights sign down and you smile, so happy to be out and about, ready to let go of yesterday's pain. It's just about Midnight when you two arrive, which is when it’s the most packed, Rita or you don’t mind though.

“Let’s go have some fun baby!” Rita tells you as she grabs your hand and pulls you inside the doors. Walking in the smell of whiskey, woodsy musk, cigarettes, and sweat fills your senses. It’s almost overwhelming but as Rita drags you further into the bar through the crowd, finding a, somehow, unattended standing table in the corner by the bathrooms, you get used to the aroma around you pretty quickly.

There’s a younger looking country band playing “You Should Probably Leave”, by Chris Stapleton on the stage in front, they sound pretty good to you - not Chris Stapleton good, but not terrible. “You want more whiskey or are we mixing?” Rita gets your attention away from the band, “Whiskey. I cannot mix my liquors anymore, I do not handle hangovers like I could in my twenties!” You laugh at her, she laughs as she nods her head and agrees with you and she struts towards the crowded bar.

You decide to look at your phone one more time before the night truly begins, just because. Scrolling through your socials nothing catches your eye until you see a new story from Tommy on Snapchat, you hesitate to click on it - not wanting to upset yourself, but the whiskey gives you a boost of confidence. You click on it and there he was, Joel with Tommy, drinking at some night club. You’re in disbelief that Tommy took him out - even though you were out doing the same thing, but you expected him to be gloomy Joel, but you guess you were wrong.

Rita snaps her fingers in your face getting you out of the trance you were in. “Babe..put it away. Just you and me tonight!” She convinces you by putting the whiskey in front of you. “Look at this bitch.” Slurring as you put your phone to her face, she laughs and goes, “Well let’s give a little pay back!” With a sly grin on your face you swipe to the camera and raise the phone to take a selfie.

“God we’re so hot.” You yell to her over the music playing as you put a little filter on it and hit post, feeling like you just won a contest to see who’s petty more. “To you babes, and to a night out that you deserve.” Rita smiles as she raises her shot of whiskey to you and you do the same, “To a night out with you.” The shot hits you hard, hits the back of your throat with the burning sensation. “God damn that’s good stuff!” You shout as you slam the glass on the table, Rita laughs at you. Grabbing her hand you pull her to the busy dance floor and you sing, “Let’s go dance!”

—

It’s around one-thirty when Rita finds a group that she went to college with and she brings them over to your guys table.

The group consists of two couples; the first couple was Becky and Joe, she was a stay at home mom of two kids, while he worked as an engineer. From what you gathered, they weren’t gonna last much longer, he gave off a “he’s a drunk mess' ' vibe, which you could smell a mile away because of your father. The second couple was Veronica and Richard, these two were the rich couple, you were surprised to see them even set foot in a bar like this. She had her own company as a home designer and he worked in the stock market, they did very well for themselves.

Out of the two pairs you happened to connect more with Veronica and Richard, another reason was because Joe reminded you too much of your father and you just couldn’t talk to him. You’re interrupted from your thoughts as you hear Veronica announce, “I’m gonna go to the ladies room, anyone else?” You almost jump from your stool and tell her you gotta go too, wanting to escape from Joe's energy. Rita is engaged in a conversation with Richard about something about Stocks, while the other couple are arguing amongst themselves.

Veronica and you stumble your way through the crowd and reach the women’s bathroom, as you enter a couple girls in their twenties leave all hollering, you smile knowing what it’s like at their age to be out! “God I miss being that age!” Veronica says to you as you go into the light brown colored stalls next to each other, “I know me too, no worries in the world, just partying and fun!” You confess as you start to pee, the alcohol of tonight catching up to you as a stupid smile creeps on your face, your body is buzzing which makes you giggle to yourself.

The music pounds through the walls as you open your stall and go to wash your hands. Veronica opens her stall and pipes up, “That’s in there for you!” At first you’re confused but then you look at her and notice the way she sniffs and it clicks - Coke. You haven’t done that since college, you were pretty recreationally with it, - it was the thing to do, you don’t have any shame in it.

You’re not sure if you want to, mainly because you only just met Veronica and not sure where she got this it from, if it’s safe. But you have so much alcohol flowing through your body that your brain is not making the best decisions, so you smile at her and go, “Thank youuu, didn’t know you got down like this Ms.Veronica!”

She laughs as she turns the sink on and washes her hands, “Honey, I’ve been doing this forever, Richard too!” You giggle at her just being so honest about it, you wouldn’t be - the only reason now is you’re almost to the point of black out drunk. “I’ll wait till you’re ready so we don’t stagger by ourselves!” She smiles, you tell her perfect as you close the stall door and you see a little foldable tray, Veronica has her own little “On The Go Coke set up”, with a good size line with a small straw next to it.

Without even thinking about what you’re doing, you check which nostril is the clearest, it happens to be your right one. You then grab the straw, plug the left side, line them up, then you inhale as you move the straw to the right and clear the whole line Veronica put out for you.

The feeling of Esther hits your throat immediately and makes you cough a couple times, but the rush is instant. You haven’t felt this feeling in a long time and you feel great, refreshed almost, “Woooo damn girl! This is good shit, I haven't done that in years!” You babbled as you folded her little tray and opened the stall for the final time, handing her the little tray.

“Richard knows a guy and we go to him every time, so we know it’s safe! If you ever need any just call me and I can get you a deal!” She admits to you and with your head rushing you laugh and tell her thank you so much. Both of you do a once over in the mirror to make sure you look presentable, after a minute a different set of girls bust in screaming the lyrics to “Boot Scootin’ Boogie” by Brooks and Dunn.

You and Veronica can’t help but belt out laughing and then join in the singing as you walk out the door. The bar somehow seems busier than before, which you didn’t think was possible, the dance floor was filled with drunk people who loved their country music.

Your head is just pounding from the instant rush and the jitter-like feeling in your body begins. Somehow you hear Rita yelling for you at your table, you turn your head and quickly weave through the sweaty bodies towards her with Veronica on your tail.

You’re hoping Veronica can keep a secret even though you didn’t tell her too, because you don’t want Rita to know about the Coke, at least right now. You probably should tell her though, just in case, but you don’t. “Joe and Becky left, he was hammered!” Rita belts over the music, you go to say something in response but your train of thought is stopped by Veronica going to her husband and whispering something in his ear and both of them laugh.

Now you’re paranoid like crazy.

—

What was she saying? Did she tell him? Does Rita know? Are your eyes super dilated? Is there still some on your nose? The last thing you needed was for this to go around town, “That’s the coke whore.” People would whisper when you would go anywhere - god why did you do that line?

—

Your mind is racing with sporadic thoughts and your breathing becomes erratic, “I’m gonna step outside, I’ll be right back!” You quickly announce and shuffle towards the front door, the feeling of claustrophobia is tingling in your bones from the amount of people in this little bar. You get out the double wooden doors, turn to your right, and just start speed walking under the city lights.

You don’t know where you’re heading but you just need to be out of there, your head still racing and pounding, body is still jumping and now the drip is hitting your throat which makes you start gagging.

Your feet stop moving as the sudden urge to throw up hits you like a freight train, grabbing the wall of the building next to you, your body starts to shake as you vomit. The mix of Esther and liquor is burning your throat and nose terribly, your tears are now a mix of the liquids coming out of you. After a minute you stop coughing and collect yourself a little bit, still very drunk, you stand up with wobbly legs, facing the wall with both hands above your head so you can catch a breath.

Looking up into the starry summer night sky, a pair of large hands suddenly land on either side of your hips which makes you jump, but the front of your body is slammed up against the brick wall from behind. “What the fuck-“ You start, but your mouth is covered by one of the man’s hands and the horror sets in, all you smell behind you is cigarettes and straight garbage. You start to feel this man grinding his growing bulge on your ass and you are squirming, trying to do anything but you're too inebriated and weak.

He moans as the hand on your hip travels lower to grab your ass and he forcefully pulls your miniskirt up to show your ass jiggle. You cry loudly into his dirty hand, your body is trying to flee but you can’t go anywhere, you’re trying to think of what to do but you can’t think straight - between the coke, alcohol, the sound of his jeans unzipping, the smell of him, and the feeling of his cock sliding on your panties.

You’re about to just let it happen when all of a sudden you hear footsteps approaching fast and, “GET OFF OF HER!” You automatically know it’s Rita, a sense of relief washes over you but it’s quickly replaced with your head being slammed into the brick wall you were forced on. Your body all of a sudden becomes a bag of bones, you slump down hard, hitting the cement with a smack of your face - you’re frozen, body cannot move.

The man runs the other direction while your body is discarded like trash, but Rita appears and grabs your body to turn you over. When she does, you want to say thank you or you’re sorry, but nothing comes out, you can’t move either. You’ve never felt this amount of pain before, your head felt like it was bouncing around and the pressure inside was only increasing.

You get this feeling that you want to close your eyes, you should know better than to do that but you can’t think, your brain just isn’t working. Rita is holding your body on her lap, she’s bawling her eyes out and screaming for help and what to do. She must’ve seen your phone on the sidewalk because you see her holding it and unlocking it, she puts the phone to her ear while she frantically cries, “You’re gonna be okay! How were you so fast? I was right behind you inside but lost you as soon as I got outside the bar!”

You just stare at her, cause that’s all you can do - you wish you never left the bar. A span of three minutes goes by and you are barely hanging on, you heard at one point the paramedics were on the way but nothing else. You keep nodding out from the pain radiating through your head and now your body, blood is now running down your face.

“C’mon Joel, pick up. PICK up. PICK UP.” Rita repeats to the phone. “FUCK,” Joel doesn’t answer for the fifth time, “umumum..” she mumbles with shaky breaths, she is shaking your body to keep you awake, Rita rings up Tommy’s number she found in your contacts.

“Please stay awake babes, you’re gonna be okay.” She tells you again as her free hand taps your face, you can hear how frightened she is but you’re not able to say or do anything back to her. “Thank GOD! Tommy it’s Rita, we need your help please!” Rita screaming into the phone is the last thing you hear before your brain tells you to shut your eyes.

—

“Where did you guys go? Where did she get coke? You let her drink that much and then walk by herself? Who was the guy?” You hear the mix of voices and questions being thrown around the small hospital room alongside the beeping of the machines monitoring you. “I don’t know where she got the coke from, not me! We went to the Devil’s River downtown! Don’t blame me, she wouldn’t have been there in the first place if you were being an asshole!” Rita is defending herself to Joel, she should not have to do that, after all she is right, she did nothing wrong - again you were in the wrong.

“Will you two stop? I’ve heard enough about it from others, I need to hear from her.” You hear the once delicate, now broken, voice of your mom. You feel your heart rip, exactly like it did the other night with Joel, you open your eyes wanting nothing more than to see her.

You’re met with the bright white lights of the hospital room which make your head throb once again, as you adjust to them, your mom is the first person you see and she jumps onto you like lightning. “Mom!” Is all you cry into her shoulder, she starts a mix of laughter and tears that muffles into your gown. You two hold each other for at least five minutes not wanting to let each other go again.

After the two of you calm down and aren’t crying anymore, she reluctantly lets go of you. “I’m going to get some water and ice, I’ll be right back babydoll.” She calmly tells you and walks out the door into the hallway, you watch her disappear from your view and now you know it’s time to face reality.

You turn your attention to Joel, Tommy, and Rita who are sitting on the couch next to your bed. Rita looks a mess, her makeup smeared all over her face from tears, snot, and sweat - your eyes stop at her hands and sleeves, covered in blood, your blood you're sure. “Come here.” Your voice cracks as you speak to Rita and raise your arms like a hug, she jumps out of her seat and gently, still pretty hard, grips you in a hug.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t catch up in time! I wish I could get my hands on him! It all happened so fast and you were just gone,” she’s gasping for air as tears flow out of her, she holds your face and looks into your eyes, “And-and why didn’t you tell me you did a line?! You need to tell me those kinda things when we’re to-together!”

You feel like a piece of shit. There is no reason for Rita to feel like she’s at fault, because if you were just an adult, none of this would have happened. “No no no! It’s not your fault, it was all me okay?” You sternly tell her as you grab her face back and stare into her baby blue eyes, which now have a glossy red layer over them from her tears.

She sniffles and slowly nods her head in agreement, she rubs her nose from the snot running down with a tissue she had. “Why didn’t you just tell me?” She finally asks with a defeated tone in her question, she thought you trusted her like she did you, this makes it seem otherwise. “I was scared you would leave me and be disappointed,” You look into your lap and play with your nails, as you whisper and lightly chuckle at yourself as you continue, “stupid I know.”

“Yeah pretty stupid babes,” she chuckles as she grabs your hands and makes you look at her one more time, “please, don’t ever do that again. I love you too much to lose you, you’re like a sister to me and -“ she starts to cry but looks up to the ceiling to stop herself, “okay, no more tears. I just love you and I’m glad you’re awake!” You hug her tightly once more as you repeat the same three words, I love you. “Okay love, I’m making Tommy bring me home because I need to shower. As you can see, I’m a hot mess!” You two laugh, actually belly laugh, at the mess on her face.

Tommy hugs you tightly as Rita stands up and she turns to Joel and hugs him and says something to make Joel shake his head up and down. “I love you and I’m glad you’re safe, please don’t hesitate to call me or Maria if you need anything. And I mean anything.” Tommy reassures you, you smile and thank him as he and Rita disappear from the room.

Just you and Joel are left with the machines. You turn to look at him, he’s sitting in the chair directly next to you, it’s the first time you’ve actually looked at him since the fight. He looks terrible. The bags he has under his eyes are dark, his eyes bloodshot from crying, hair is an absolute mess, and he just has this sad look on his face. You’re at a loss for words, you really are lost right now.

“I-i- '' is all you stammer out before you’re sobbing again, Joel climbs into the hospital bed next to you and holds you while you cry into his chest. He starts to shush you to try to calm you down even just a little bit. The feeling of his heartbeat and breathing is so strong and fast, you realize just how much this man loves you. “You’re okay darlin’, you’re safe, you made it out alive.” He says into your hair, you can feel his lips start to tremble as he kisses the top of your head.

You hear Joel sniff, picking your head up to look into his beautiful eyes and you say, “I’m so sorry. I overreacted the other night, there was no reason for me to act like that.” Joel nods his head and responds, “I’m sorry that I scared you so much that you had to hit me. I had no right to corner you like that. I love you, darlin’.”

Your eyes drift from his to his lips, and back up again, Joel smiles and he raises his hands to rest on your face, rubs his thumb across your cheek and kisses you gently. Your whole body melts to his touch, you missed him, and you wish you hadn’t done any of the things you did. Tears sting your cheeks from how happy you are for him to be back in your grasp. You softly pull away from him and he swipes away your hot tears as he looks at you with sad eyes.

“But baby, what happened tonight?” He lets out with a sigh, you can’t help but see him breaking apart at the seams. You both sit up and face each other, the best you can in the small bed, you collect yourself as much as possible and you try to explain yourself.

#joel miller #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader #latching on to you #joel miller smut #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfic #joel miller series #read tags #the last of us #joel miller au #joel miller fanfiction

[bearsbeetsbeskar]

Somebody to Heal, Somebody to Hold

(Joel Miller x dispensary! reader)

Chapter 3: Blue Dream

Chapter 1 here || Chapter 2 here || Main masterlist

Pairing: Joel Miller x dispensary! reader, AU (no outbreak) Word count: 4.7K Rating: 18+ MDNI, will be changed to explicit in future chapters (slow burn, eventual smut), swearing, discussions of drug use, discussions of disordered eating, age gap (reader is early 20s and Joel is late 40s) Summary: Joel can't rely on pills anymore for his back pain, so his doctor prescribes him medicinal marijuana. But he's not happy about it.

A/N: It's here y'all! Peepaw got high, and now he has the munchies. For food, as well as for the reader 🌚. This chapter was so fun to write, I loved fleshing out their progressing relationship. PEEPAW gets teased endlessly for being old (I couldn't resist), and he gains a smoking buddy 🥹. As always, thank you to my main hype woman, my ride or RIDE, @iamasaddie for beta'ing. Your excitement and support means the world to me!

Please comment and reblog if you liked it and want to see more of this series! I'm so in awe and appreciative of all the lovely comments and support I've received so far, you guys keep this story going!

❤️ 🌹 - N

In the midst of smoking with Joel, you had forgotten how long it had been since you last ate. The rumbles coming from his stomach reminded you pretty quickly though. You hum and chew the inside of your cheek as you think of possible food options to satisfy the munchies.

Although pretty much anything tastes better when you’re high, thanks to the way that THC heightens your senses, especially taste, you want to get something he will like. You’re not sure why you care so much but you want him to enjoy it, as part of his first smoking experience. 

Pulling your phone out of your pocket, you start to scroll through UberEats to see what’s in the area. 

“Feel like eating anything in particular?”

Joel purses his lips together and hums. “Not really, I ain’t picky.”

You’re inclined to believe him but you still wanna mess with him, just a little bit.

“Ouh, there’s this really good vegan place in town that has good reviews and lot’s of options!” You look at him sideways and raise your eyebrows. 

“Uh,” He grimaces slightly before he can school his expression, “sure that sounds-” 

“I’m just fucking with you Joel” You lean in to shove him again as giggles start bubbling up from your chest. “I’d never eat that shit either, I love real food and meat too much to give it up”

“Thank fucking God,” he breathes out and runs a hand over his face. “I can’t stand it, everything is vegan this, vegan that. What happened to normal real food?”

You snort in response, still scrolling. And then something catches your eye.

“Oh shit! Apparently there’s a food truck festival happening at Bellwoods Park, just a couple minutes from here. There’s lots of different vendors, and it’s probably a lot cheaper than ordering take out. We’ll have to walk over but it’s not too far”

“Yeah, I’m up for that.” He perks up a bit and smiles at you.

No less than 20 minutes later you and Joel arrive at the food truck festival. You’re immediately surprised by how cozy and ambient it is. There’s numerous picnic benches in the middle of the grassy area and a few carnival games on the far end of the field for the kids. Twinkle lights are strung like a canopy over the entirety of the park, casting a molten amber glow over the festivities, complementing the warm hues of paper bunting strung from vendor truck to truck. People flock to the vendor trucks flanking the outside of the park perimeter. The smell of various fried foods and grills being fired up has your mouth watering and stomach growling again.

“Huh.” Joel whistled lowly, taking in the surroundings. “Been here for almost 20 years and I didn’t know this existed.”

“It looks like a seasonal thing that the city puts on every year, maybe there’s just more hype around it this year.” You surmise, following his gaze and looking around. “That or you just live under a rock.” A smirk sprawls across your face as you look back at him. 

He huffs out an exhale. “Wouldn’t be the first time I heard that.”

“Well, now’s your chance to explore,” gesturing to the lineup of trucks. The various vendors sell everything from shaved ice to burritos, to Korean bbq and Philly cheesesteak sandwiches. The options are endless. You’re about to suggest something to him when one truck in particular catches your eyes. 

“Oh my god, Smashburgers!” You make a beeline for the food truck, not even waiting to see if Joel follows you. The smell of charbroiled meat and greasy french fries fill your nostrils, creating another twinge of hunger in your stomach. It’s been ages since you had a good burger, and Rick’s Smashburgers was the best in town, you weren’t about to pass it up now. Sensing Joel’s broad presence approach your right side before you can turn around, you nod your head towards the menu plastered on the chalkboard against the side of the truck.

“Ricks has the best burgers in town by far. Trust me.” 

“Smashburgers? How are they any different from regular hamburgers?”

“They’re just better in general” you answer him as if it was obvious. He raises an eyebrow at you. “The patties are basically flattened or smashed and it makes them crispier and just better overall. Trust me.” Giving him your most pleading look, he sighs and looks at the menu, and then at the plates of burgers lined up at the window to be given to customers.

“They do look pretty damn good. Only-” he shifts his jaw and hesitates, “my doctor told me to stay away from red meat, and eat more veggies,” he grumbles defeatedly, staring at the menu like he wanted to burn a hole in it. 

You frown for a split second but it slowly morphs into a smile. Joel Miller is cute when he is grumpy. And for whatever reason, it actually warms your heart that he’s trying to be compliant with his doctor's orders. Still, you nod.

“Okay, well, we could always get something else. Althoughhhh” you pause for dramatic effect, “technically the burgers are thinner than regular burgers so there is less meat, and there’s lettuce and tomatoes on the burger.” You look sideways at him but he’s already shaking his head, a smile tugging at his lips.

“Who woulda thought I’d experience more peer pressure for eatin’ a burger than smokin’ weed. Jesus, I’m losin’ it.” The smile turns into a grin and there’s a glimmer in his eyes. 

“Sure darlin’, a smashburger sounds good.” 

—---------------------------------------------------------

If anyone had told Joel that in his lifetime he would eventually find himself at a festival surrounded by throngs of people, after smoking weed for the first time, with a woman he had just met, he would have told them to fuck right off. 

All because of his back pain. His godforsaken back pain. 

Admittedly, he had no idea what to expect when you said you would come over to show him how to smoke, but he definitely said a silent prayer when you offered, seeming to understand that the whole situation was embarrassing for him. You were so nice and personable. Just like you had been the day before when he came into the dispensary like a lost puppy.

The irrational part of him wanted to believe that you were just pitying him. Pitying a helpless middle aged man who’s geriatric aches and pains were running him into the ground. But your patience with him and calm reassurance about his concerns dismantled that theory. That, and the fact that you offered to come over after you got off work, during your free time. It didn’t seem like you were getting commission from going above and beyond with your customer service skills at the dispensary. What business would you have hanging out with a man who was at least two decades older than you?

Joel wasn’t stupid, and he certainly wasn’t blind to your beauty. Despite the playful banter you shared with him, and your wandering gaze that he caught dipping down to his lips and his body, he knew that he wouldn’t have a shot in hell with you. Regardless, he was buzzing with nervous energy when you knocked on his door.

Surprisingly, the actual smoking wasn’t as bad as he anticipated. Marijuana smoke tasted somewhat better than cigarette smoke. Weird, but better. The tang of the herb settled on his taste buds more easily than nicotine did during that one time he tried it all those years ago. 

It was actually enjoyable if he was being honest with himself. Although, he’s not sure if that’s because of your added presence or the weed actually doing its job. The monotony of inhaling and pulling from the joint, holding his breath for a few seconds and then exhaling slowly became muscle memory. The THC settled into his bloodstream as he felt the mellow warm buzz permeate his body and seep into his bones. The once aching flare of pain that was his constant companion no longer reared its ugly head, as he stretched beside you on the couch.  He genuinely couldn't believe it. 

He anticipated he would cough up a lung at one point or another, which he did. And he anticipated the back pain would be subdued, which it was. You also warned him of dry eyes and cotton mouth once the marijuana took effect in his system. Nevertheless, he’s caught off guard when his mouth goes bone dry and his eyes glaze over as he watches you do that trick. 

The french inhale. 

Seemingly mesmerized by the way the smoke pours out of your lips like viscous liquid, and the way you inhale it through your nose again, he all but loses it when you show him how to do the smoke rings. The way your plush lips pout, forming an O shape as you push the smoke out of your mouth, your cheeks slightly hollowed. You’re so close beside him that he can faintly smell the tropical notes of your shampoo and see the glassiness in your doe eyes when you smile at him. 

It’s the cruelest form of torture, he surmises. You're the sweetest siren, making the simplest gesture look sexy as hell. 

Caveman brain bouncing off the walls as he flexes his thighs, his left hand remains in his lap over his crotch while he curls his right hand into a fist. The sting of his nails digging into his palms keeps him tethered to reality, while he tries to ignore how tight the crotch of his pants are. 

But fuck, it’s a challenge when you keep looking at him like that, with a Cheshire cat grin plastered across your face.

His lust is interrupted soon enough when he feels his stomach let out the loudest rumble. And to his surprise your smile only gets wider in response.

It’s almost the same smile he’s witnessing in this moment, as he watches you take another big bite out of your burger and moan, almost pornographically. 

You both get burgers and decide to split some french fries for good measure. Nevermind the fact that you asserted, "a good burger isn't complete without a side of fries."

Trusting your judgment, Joel orders the same as you; a smashburger with crispy onions, lettuce, tomato, cheese and their special house BBQ sauce. Only no pickles for him, and extra bacon, cause why the fuck not?

Technically he’s following the doctor's orders. He’s already smoked the weed. The low cholesterol diet can start tomorrow.  

The burger is delicious. Like ridiculously delicious. 

“Damn” He says in between the first couple bites, “this is fucking good. Best burger I’ve had in a while actually.” Humming in agreement, you pop a couple fries in your mouth.

“I know right? I told you. Better than regular burgers.” 

They’re messy as hell but it’s worth it the minute the flavor of charred meat hits his tongue, the crispiness of the onions, coupled with the special sauce creating a mouthwatering combo.

You finish your burger at an alarming pace. Popping the last bite into your mouth, you grab a handful more of fries, dunking them into some ketchup. 

Christ, he thought he was hungry. You must have been starving considering it had been well over 5 hours since your lunch break. Before you can shove the fries in your mouth, you pause and raise your eyebrows at his ogling.

“What?”

“Nothing.” When you look at him expectantly he shakes his head. That small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Just surprised you have a big appetite, s’all.”

Somewhat bemused by his words, you tilt your head. 

“Most women I know, they just eat salads and healthy crap. Always watching their weight and being picky with their food.” He smirks, nodding his chin towards your plate. “It’s just nice to see a woman who can actually throw down.”

Shaking your head, you snort. “Please, life is too fucking short to deprive yourself and worry about the shit you eat. I’d rather die with a full belly of food that I enjoy than eat like a rabbit.” 

At that he lets out a loud guffaw. Not only do you have a decent appetite but you also got quite the potty mouth on you. He shouldn’t find that so attractive but he does. 

“Also,” you flippantly wave a fry around in your hand, gesturing to the near empty tray of food sitting on the table between you two, “who wouldn’t want to eat when the food is this fucking good?” 

Clicking his tongue against his teeth, he rolls his shoulders back and reclines in his seat with a wink. “Can’t argue with that logic darlin’.”

Over the next hour or so, you get to know bits and pieces about each other while picking at the remainder of fries.  Bouncing between topics, from food to work, to each other’s personal histories. Joel learns that your favorite food is pasta, grinning at you while you go off on a tangent about how pasta should be included as one of the main food groups. Doesn’t matter what kind of pasta, just pasta. 

His favorite meal is anything home cooked and southern. Of course, nothing beats a good old sirloin steak with roasted potatoes. He’s a sucker for cornbread too. Sweet desserts are his weakness he reveals, but he never usually gets them for himself, only bringing home treats when he knows his daughter Sarah will be in town. When Sarah isn’t home he’s usually at the mercy of fast food joints due to his work hours, “hence the high cholesterol,” he grumbles. 

That leads him to tell you about Sarah, how long he’s been in Austin, his job as a contractor. In return you tell him about going back to school and getting the dispensary job through Stef, just to have some money on the side. 

“I needed to throw myself into something after my ex and I broke up.” You sigh defeatedly and cross your arms, elbows resting on the table as you look down. “Naturally, I figured going back to school and getting a job would be the solution, only now it feels like I’m barely keeping my head above water.”

At that confession, Joel raises his eyebrows in disbelief. Guilt and shame wash over your features.  It makes him frown, his eyebrows pinching together. Sadness isn’t a good look on you, and even though he’s known you for less than a day, he doesn’t like seeing that look cloud your face. 

“Fuck him,” he quips, “his loss.”

Huffing out an exhale, you fiddle with a crumpled napkin on your side of the tray. Ripping up small bits of the crinkled paper and rolling them between your fingers. “You don’t know the whole story.”

He shrugs nonchalantly. “Doesn’t matter, still sounds like he lost out.”

When you don’t look up at him, just continuing to rip up the napkin, biting the inside of your cheek, his voice softens.

“Sorry. It’s none of my business,” he backtracks, “you don’t have to tell me.”

At that you finally look up at him, “no, it’s okay Joel. Really. It’s been a while since we split.”

He nods slowly, waiting for you to continue.

“In the end we both wanted different things. He was ready to settle down, get married, buy a house, and start popping out kids. It took me a while to realize that that was far from what I wanted.” You stare off to the side, watching the kids at the far end of the field run throughout the maze of festival games. 

“I guess you could say we split amicably, but we were together for a long time," you continue on. "When it was over he didn’t hesitate to tell me that I would never find someone like him, that I’ll never find someone who would love me as much as he did, and how he did so much for me, blah blah blah. That kinda bullshit” You chuckle hollowly, folding your arms across your chest. 

“I’m sorry.” He apologizes again, silently cursing at the asshole who managed to convince you that you wouldn’t find someone better. 

Wishful thinking claws at his chest as he swallows. He knows he probably wouldn’t be that much better for you either. You’re warm, caring, funny, gorgeous with a sharp wit that he finds painfully endearing. Who wouldn’t want you?

He swallows before he speaks up again. “It happens that sometimes people grow apart, realize they have different values and want different things. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that. It hurts but better you figure it out now rather than later. I learned that the hard way,” he says with a regretful smile. 

You shake your head, giving him an out before he says anything else. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me.”

“Nah, it was a while ago. A long time ago. My ex and I, we had Sarah when we were real young.” He chuckles without any mirth. “Young and dumb. We had no idea what we were doing, but we both knew deep down it wouldn’t work. I was working ridiculous hours to make ends meet for us and she wasn't happy about that. We realized how different we truly were and figured it was for the best that we split.” 

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.” There’s concern in your eyes but you give him an empathetic smile. “But in the end, you got Sarah, right?”

Exhaling deeply, he nods and smiles softly. “Yeah. Thank God. She’s my whole life honestly. Gives me a reason to get up in the morning. She’s crazy smart, sometimes too smart for own good, but she has a heart of gold. Always wanting to help out others.”

He stares off into space, recalling his daughter's bright eyes, halo of curls, and her wide grin. God he missed her.  It’s only as he’s telling you this does Joel realize that he doesn’t really have a life outside of Sarah. She’s not at the age anymore where she needs constant care, she’s independent and living away from home. The only people he really sees regularly are Tommy, when he deigns to drop by the house, or when they work jobs together, and the guys on his team. But outside of work? He doesn’t really do much of anything or see much of anyone. It dawns on him that he leads quite the obstinate life.

“You mentioned she’s away at college?” Your question pulling him out of his placating thoughts.

“Yeah, she started last semester. She comes home when she has breaks and during holidays. It’s quiet without her around.” He isn't aware of the somber look that washes over his face, but you quickly pick up on it.

“I’m sure she misses you just as much.” You look at him earnestly and give him a small smile. 

He scoffs, “yeah right,” leaning back into his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. “She’s living that freshman life. Classes, studying, partying,” he adds the last part hesitantly, with a bit of a bite. “She ain’t thinking about her old man too much.” 

Clicking your tongue, you give him a reprimanding look. “You keep saying you're old Joel but that’s a fat lie.”

He goes to interrupt you but you hold your hand up in front him. “I saw your driver's license back at the dispensary Joel. You’re not old. Just because you’re over 40, doesn’t mean you’re a fucking fossil. C’mon.” 

Seemingly accepting that he won’t be able to win this argument with you, he huffs and smirks, his arms still crossed over his chest.

“Whatever you say darlin’”

At that, you bite your lip and look down. The small terms of endearment fluster you. He likes seeing you flustered.

You pull your phone out of your pocket to check the time, and he feels himself deflate at the notion that you would have to go and that this night would come to a close. He hopes that you won’t tell him that you have to go. Already anticipating that disappointment he clears his throat and starts to stack the garbage on top of your tray.

“I’m pretty stuffed after the burger. Wanna walk around for a bit? See what else is around here.” You bite your lip, gauging his response.

Trying not to sound overly eager and excited, he smiles. “Yeah alright.”

No less than 30 minutes later, he finds himself strolling beside you around the perimeter of the festival lawn, a cup of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream in his left hand, while you both take turns scooping spoonfuls. 

The tips of his fingers prickle from holding the frigid paper cup as he hums around another spoonful. “Chocolate chip cookie dough is okay, but I still think maple pecan is better,” he grumbles.

You groan. “Ugh, I’m not getting into this again Joel,” glaring at him out of the corner of your eye as you lick the back of your spoon. “I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt with the whole old man thing but maple pecan is an old man flavor. Sorry not sorry. You might as well suck on a Werther’s candy”

“Jesus,” he scoffs. “A Werther’s original? Why don’t I just put on some suspenders, get some bifocals, and sit in the park with the paper every morning.”

“Mmm, you never know. I think bifocals would really suit you,” Your tongue pokes the inside of your cheek. Giggles bubbling up in your chest, while Joel shakes his head.

“I’m just saying, even plain vanilla would have been a better choice. A redeemable choice. Maple pecan is almost as bad as..” you wrinkle your nose while thinking of a comparison, “rum and raisin.”

Just as you go to scoop another spoonful out of the cup, Joel stretches his left arm up and back behind him, holding the cup out of your reach. You don’t bother to jump up to reach the cup as He shamelessly enjoys the sight of how he dwarfs over your tiny frame. 

“Hey! Joel-” 

He says your name in return solemnly, but the corners of his mouth curl upwards ever so slightly. “You take that back right now. That’s a classic.”

“It has raisins in it! You can’t be serious! Dried up grapes have no business being in ice cream man, it’s criminal.”  You huff out a breath and look up at him in exasperation. 

“Didn’t know you were so passionate about ice cream.” He has a shit eating grin on his face at this point. Completely enamored by how cute you are when you’re annoyed. He can’t help but tease you a bit more. 

“You know I was havin’ a real good time tonight darlin’ but that’s my last straw.”  

Rolling your eyes, you smirk. “Just like that huh? You’re stone cold Joel Miller. Alright then, but good luck finding another smoking buddy who can teach you really cool tricks”

At that, he relents. Dropping his arm back down to his side. 

“Smoking buddy?”

You’d want to smoke with him again?

The term you coined has his mind melting into mush, and his stomach doing flips at the possibility of seeing you again. 

“You’d wanna do this again? I mean- you'd want to smoke together?” He asks pensively, his amber eyes rounded as he looks down at you.

“Yeah,” you peek up at him through your lashes. “Why not? I’m always down to smoke. Plus I still gotta teach you how to roll your own joints, and maybe how to do some tricks as well.”

Winking at him you add on, “save you some money so that you don’t have to keep coming to the dispensary for your pre rolls.”

He presses his lips into a thin line before he can spit out the Pavlovian response on the tip of his tongue. Joel knows he would have come to the dispensary anyway to see you, regardless of if he was going to buy anymore weed. Hell, he would use any excuse he could to see you again. But he decides against telling you that.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, and licking his lips, his mouth opens slightly as his gaze dances across your face. From your eyes, down to your lips, and back up again. You’re so close. So close he could reach out, curl a finger into one of your belt loops, pulling you closer until your bodies are flush. 

“I’d really like that darlin’”

You tilt your head and gaze up at him. “Good.” You glance briefly at your phone and frown. “I do have to go now though. I’m opening at the dispensary tomorrow so I should get some sleep. As should you,” you give him another playful shove, “old man.”

He grumbles in response.

You exchange numbers before heading your separate ways, sending him off with a warm smile. The same smile you greeted him with when he first stepped into the dispensary and nearly had a panic attack. “This was fun Joel. Text me next time you wanna smoke.”

Pausing for sec and squinting your eyes in mock concern, you ask him “Wait, you do know how to text right?” 

You attempt to bite back a laugh with no success as he swats at you like a fly, and you jump backwards, dodging the swipe of his big hands. “Yes little miss, I know how to fuckin' text.” He makes a noise of disapproval and narrows his eyes at you. "Cheeky." 

You’ve only known him for less than 24 hours and you already know how to push his buttons. 

Though he's not really annoyed in the slightest. He allows it. What's more is that he actually likes it. Really likes it. The playful banter and flirting that you throw his way, he’s more than happy to return it. 

Your chuckles die down. “Alright alright, just checking, relax.”

You send him a quick text with your name, and his phone pinging right away. 

“I’ll see you around Joel.”

“See ya around darlin’” He drawls with a grin as he watches you turn to leave.

There’s a pep in Joel’s step as he walks back home. Contentment mixed with anxious excitement. The effects of the high have faded quite a bit, and his head clears as he continues down the sidewalk to his house. He’s pretty happy. Unreasonably happy for someone who just spent the evening with a woman he barely knows. But he felt like he got a deeper glimpse into who you are. What’s more surprising is that he wants to know more. He wants to know more about you. Wants to do more things with you.

Do more things to you.

But again, he keeps that to himself for fear of ruining whatever is slowly building between you two.

Trudging up the porch stairs, he glances at his watch.

10:02 p.m.

He considers texting you to see if you got home safe. 

No. He didn’t need you thinking he was a desperate creep. As he crosses the threshold and closes the door behind him, he leans back against it, his head thudding against the wood. 

Just then, he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket, the familiar ping sound resounding through the empty front hallway of his house.

[You]: “Hey! Just wanted to make sure you got in okay, seeing as it’s much past your bedtime 👴🏼”

Huffing out a chuckle, he rolls his eyes and tries to ignore the flutter in his chest that you texted him first. His fingers fumble as he squints at the screen to type out a response. 

[Joel]: “Could say the same for you. What happened to getting sleep because you work early tomorrow?” 

He could leave it there and just see what you say. But the excitement from the evening as well as simmering current of lust running through his body has him feeling bold. He wants to push a little bit more.

[Joel]: “Naughty girl.” He bites his lip before hitting send.

The three little dots appear and reappear a handful of times as you start to type and then stop.

Shit. Was that too far? Did he just fuck up any chance he had at seeing you again because he has no self control? Probably. It was so hard to restrain any sort of control when you made it so easy to tease back. Your playfulness and doe eyes are a wicked force to be reckoned with, and it only made Joel want you more. 

Waiting for you to text him back and tell him to fuck off, or politely shut it down, his mouth gapes open when you do finally respond. 

[You]: “Never said I was a good girl 👀”

He exhales harshly. “Fucking hell.” His fingers tapping furiously as he sends the next message.

[Joel]: “That so? I don’t believe that. You’ll have to prove me wrong next time darlin.”

Your response comes lightning fast. Nothing else aside from a series of suggestive emoji's.

[You]: Goodnight Joel 😈 🍃 🔥 💨

Joel clenches his jaw and exhales deeply. He shoves his phone back in his coat pocket, and rubs his hand over his face.

What has he gotten himself into?

#weedpaw #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us hbo

[carica-ficus]

"Harrow the Ninth"

21/02/2024

Reading progress: 507/507 (100%)

Read through since last update: 157

Didn't think I'd cram the last part into one post, but here we are anyway. These last 150ish pages were... All over the place. In a good way!

Final notes:

Oh, there she is!!! Talk about a monster under the bed.

Ok, but how casual is that scene? I know something like that was coming (I've seen some fanart, but knew too little to know who it was about, just that Harrow and Ianthe would be peeking under the bed), but it's just so normal. I like it. Kinda eerie because it's not presented as scary.

Of course Ianthe didn't see it. Don't worry Harrow, I believe you.

Yeah, ok. It makes sense that Ortus was just fulfilling other to kill Harrow. His reasoning for it just wasn't strong enough. "You're a liability." Just like everyone else.

Oho! Here we go! Epiparodos! (Whatever that means.)

NUNLET??? 🥺🥺 That's such a cute word.

Ok, the lobotomy. Right. Also saw a fanart spoiler for it, totally forgot it was coming. I thought it was gonna happen later on? In any case. Ok. Yup. This happened.

Harrow NOVA. There we go. The other Harrow finally revealed by her full name. Though I applaud Muir, I haven't even noticed we never got her last name. Gorgeous and genius writing, through and through.

HAHAHAHAHAHA love how Harrow did the typical "I am small. Therefore, I will be a quick and murderous machine" but Muir decided to break up the cliché by saying she discovered that at the ripe age of 5. Man, I love this book. And I love Harrow as a character.

"What's that, you egg?"

Dying. 😂

Ok, gotta say, chapter 40 lost me.

I think... I got it? I might need to read the remaining pages for all of this to settle down, but this is much less complicated that I thought it would be.

What is the meaning of love if not sacrificing every single memory of a person in order to save them? 😭

Of course, it was not a dream. That would be too easy. The bubbles make perfect sense.

I know I said Ortus was annoying when quoting the Noniad, but I really like him as a character. And by that I mean how Muir has given him more depth and allowed him to grow. Which also made the scene where he hugs Harrow so impactful. 🖤

Ok, the Ortus thing was unexpected. And I'm excited to learn what it's all about.

But first. The Sleeper.

UGH! I love how considerate Gideon is with Harrow's body. Sure, she's a little awkward in it and puts out a dirty joke or two, but she's just trying to be respectful and useful. Also the way she's so worried over any and all her injuries, even though she knows they'll all heal? So fucking cute.

Protesilaus took Dulcinea in his care when she fell ill. That's so cute. 🥺

Oh, hell yes! Gideon stepped the fuck up. Time for Ianthe to meet her fucking match.

(I love how protective Gideon is ggghhhgghggh)

Man, I missed Gideon so much.

MATTHIAS NONIUS!!!!!!! :O

(Such a cool scene!!!!!)

You know what? After everything that happened, my reaction to finding out Gideon is God's daughter was just "Ok. Cool."

Cue John's corny dad joke. Love it.

Also I wouldn't have guessed they were related based on their eyes. Sure, John's eyes were mentioned multiple times, but they're silver and Gideon's are gold, so I wouldn't have put two and two together just by that. But! It fits. It's foreshadowed. It works. So yeah. Sure. Love it.

I knew it! I knew that he had a cavalier! I knew that he was a Lyctor! Hell yeah!

So much stuff happens at the end. I just kept on reading, without spending much time on commentating. I needed to know what happens and tbh, I have no idea what I just read. But that's okay! It was fun!

Ok, all in all, the book was spectacular. I liked it even more than I did Gideon. I liked how Muir handled Harrow's grief. I liked the reveals, the mysteries, the tension and the stakes. I liked the characters and I liked how Abigail got a lot more page time. I didn't even care about her in the first book, but now I really like her. I liked Ortus too!

Now, I'm still confused... About a few things. Primarily Harrow Nona. So I'll have to read an explanation or teo about it (or you can comment on the post if you'd like to help me out). Did... Harrow Nonangesimus kept watch and narrated over what Nona was doing? As in, she was dissociating from her body after the lobotomy and experiencing everything from a distance? Or was that all Gideon? Because I feel like it wasn't. Gideon's narration style is totally different and clearly comes out at the very end, but idk. I feel like I'm missing something here or that I'm not grasping something ridiculously simple.

Anyway, I'll be reading a little more about it, but yeah. "Harrow" is done, so I'll have to get my hands on Nona! In the meantime I'll be writing out my review. 🖤

#harrow the ninth #harrowhark nonagesimus #tamsyn muir #the locked tomb #locked tomb #book #reading journal #dnevnik citanja #dnevnik čitanja

[thisisarcanereverie]

When the World Went to Shit (Chapter 5)

Joel Miller x FEM! Reader

A/N: this is a SPOILER WARNING, this contains spoliers from the third episode (and more to come). This is a day late, watched episode 5 last night for the first time and I needed a moment oh my god. I was barely ready to write about episode 3, now I have to look forward to episode 5. I am already in tears over it.

WARNINGS: Canon level of violence, swears, reader is ready to fight a goddamn child, Joel is sad, talks of grief, PTSD, brief mentions of gore, Eventual Smut, pining (on both ends), grumpy idiots in love, reader is in her late 30's to early to mid 40's. Major character deaths. DISCLAIMER NO CHARACTERS/GIFS/PICS USED ARE MINE.

Summary: 20 years later after the world went to shit you, Joel, and Tess have to take 14 year old Ellie to the Firefly base outside of Boston QZ. What was supposed to be a simple plan turned into something much more complicated.

Prev. Chapter

After leaving the station you continued on your walk, you were thankful for the decent weather at least. No rain or snow or anything really that could slow you down. Once again you were looking around your surroundings, careful to make sure there were no signs of any other person using this trail but you and Joel. 

“So…” Ellie started, “how did you guys meet?” she kicked a rock further down the road, one that she had been kicking since a few yards back. 

“That’s a random question.” You said, looking at her. 

“Well it’s going to be a while until we reach Bill and Franks,” Ellie pointed out, kicking the rock again, “and it’s been killing me, I wanna know!” 

“Well,” you started since you knew Joel wouldn’t answer, “we met before the outbreak.” 

“But how long before the outbreak?” 

“It was 1984.” you said doing the math in your head, “so that would’ve been 18 years or so before the outbreak.” You see her jaw drop and stop kicking the rock. 

“Wow,” Ellie gawked, “you both are old, like dinosaur old.” you rolled your eyes and slightly pushed her shoulder. 

“Not that old,” You said before pretending to think, “well maybe except Joel.” 

“Ha ha ha,” Joel laughed dryly, “good one.” You smiled behind him as you turned to Ellie who was smiling too. 

“So that means Joel is older than you?” 

“By six or seven odd years,” You said, “his brother Tommy was a friend of mine.” 

“How old is Tommy?” 

“Let’s get off the subject,” Joel said. You could see his shoulders stiffen at the mention of Tommy. When everything went down and Tommy joined the Firefly’s Joel was livid with him. They were barely on speaking terms before he left and it broke your heart to see the two brothers dissolved into that. 

“Holy shit,” you heard Ellie say as she rushed to the side of the road where a small clearing of trees were. An airplane wreckage, when you were younger you were terrified of them but what you wouldn’t give to see a functional one up in the air. You looked over your right to see Joel standing beside you, you wonder if Joel ever reminisced about random, mundane things and missed it like you did. Like running late to work because of traffic so you were forced to listen to the radio as it cleared out, or seeing that one old couple on your way to work that always asked you how your day was. Just the little things like that, that used to be annoying or sweet but were taken advantage of. 

“Have you ever flown in one of those?” Ellie asked her eyes never leaving the ruins. 

“Sure,” Joel answered, “a few times.” 

“So lucky.”

“It didn’t feel like it at the time,” Joel said, his eyes never leaving the plane either, “get shoved into a middle seat and pay 12 bucks for a sandwich.”

“What airline did you use? because that’s fucking criminal.” you asked, sure they put you in crappy middle seats  but  at least they didn’t overcharge you for a crappy sandwich. 

“Dudes,” Ellie said, you looked at her to see her no longer looking at the wreckage but at you and Joel, “you guys got to go up in the sky,”

You looked at the wreckage again, and much like your world it was broken and had casualties. You remember watching the planes dropping from the sky like fiery falling stars. But only they screamed, and burned as they crashed, killing in its wake. 

“So did they.” Joel said before continuing the walk, Ellie followed him soon after. You stayed there a moment, had you not canceled your flight that day you could’ve been among those people, amongst all those fiery inferno’s. It was a grim thought, it was even more grim to wonder if you would have been better off if you had. 

You took one last look of it as you caught up with the other two, something bothering you in the back of your mind. 

You walked further along, sometimes you would take the front and Joel would walk behind you with Ellie or he would walk ahead. Something bothered you about that crash, a mental note you made that seemed to elude you. 

“So everything came crashing down in one day?” 

“Pretty much.” 

“How?” Ellie asked, “I mean, no one was infected with the Cordyceps, everyone is fine, eating in restaurants and flying in planes, and then what? It just happened all at once? How did it even start?” There were a lot of rumors, but no one really knew for sure. “If you have to get bitten to be infected, then who bit the first person? A monkey, I’m willing to bet it was a monkey.” 

“It wasn’t a monkey,” Joel groaned, “I thought you went to school?”

“FEDRA school,” Ellie explained, “They didn’t teach us how their shitty government failed to prevent a pandemic.” You wouldn’t expect them to either, their educational system left things to be desired. There was a silence that fell, the start of the end wasn’t something you liked to talk about more than anyone else. It brought back memories that made your heart ache, it brought back your mother and how you never got the chance to tell her goodbye. 

“No one knows for sure,” Joel explained, “but the best guess was that the cordyceps mutated and some of it got into the food supply. Probably a basic ingredient like flour or sugar, there were certain types of food that were sold everywhere, all across the country and world. Bread, cereal…pancake mix.” Joel hesitated before listing the last item, something that you didn’t have the heart to ask about, knowing it was something he probably didn’t want to share. However, he had that look in his eye, the one full of grief and rage. The look he only got when he remembered Sarah, and what happened to her. “If you eat enough of it’ll get you infected. So all the tainted foods hit the store shelves around the same time thursday, people bought it, that very night people ate with that food or early Friday morning. Day goes on, people get sick, day goes on even further they get even more sick…and then they start biting…Friday night September 26, 2003 is the night the world went to shit and by Monday everything was gone.” 

You remembered why that crash bugged you so much and the note you mentally made as a landmark between here and where you were heading. Your eyes widened as you remembered what you were going to pass in just a few short miles. You turned to look at Joel, who seemingly remembered too as he put a hand in front of the small girl. 

There was a long, drawn out silence, one not even Ellie would dare break as she comprehended what she was told. You assumed in FEDRA School they mainly taught locations of things and how to kill. Not how all of this happened in the first place.

There was something bugging you, like a nat you couldn’t swat away. That mental note you made alluding to you until you see a tree with one lone arrow sticking from it. It had been yours when you still had a crossbow. 

“We’ll cut across the woods here,” Joel said, pointing to the other trail. He didn’t want Ellie to see it either, which didn’t surprise you. When both he and Tess took you the first time he tried to hide the horrors ahead from you as well. 

“Isn’t the road easier?” Ellie asked. She wasn’t wrong, the road was the easiest way, without all the branches and twists and turns. But what laid up the road was something you didn’t want her to see, it was something a girl her age shouldn’t ever have to see. 

“Yeah it’s just…” Even Joel was at a loss for words as to describe the scene ahead. “There’s stuff up there that you shouldn’t have to see.” 

“Well now I have to see.” 

“No,” You said firmly, looking at her, “no you don’t.” 

“We don’t want you too,’ Joel added. But in your limited amount of time with Ellie you knew that once she made up her mind there was no talking her out of it. So it didn’t surprise you when Ellie ignored you and continued along, this time she was in front of you. 

“Serious, Ellie” Joel said, his voice slightly raised, “there are some things you shouldn’t have to see.” 

“Can it hurt me?” Ellie asked. 

“No,”

“You’re too honest man!” Ellie said as she turned briefly to face your worried faces before returning to the road ahead of her, “should’ve said ax murderer.” you both looked at each other in defeat, knowing that it wasn’t going to be long until she came across what you were trying to protect her from.

Sure enough, you arrived at the makeshift burial ground. Only nothing was buried and the corpses of defenseless families laid where they fell at the hands of FEDRA soldiers years ago. When you first saw it you could feel your anger towards FEDRA rise. They were all people once, people who trusted FEDRA to keep them safe only for that trust to be repaid by a bullet in  their heads. You tried to not look at the rainbow wrapped baby in the decomposed arms of who you assumed was its mother. You look at the short brunette who went silent, her eyes taking in the sight in front of her. Bill told you about these people, how they had been his neighbors. You realized that FEDRA only drove them until the edge of town before executing them. 

You stood next to Ellie, who you were sure had a million questions after seeing this. 

Or maybe only one. 

“About a week after Outbreak day,” you started, “soldiers went through the countryside and evacuated small towns and told them they were going to a QZ…they were if there was room. If there wasn’t any then this happened.” 

“These people weren’t sick?” Ellie asked. 

“No,” you breathed, “most likely not.” 

“Why kill them?” Ellie's eyes narrowed the more she looked at the bodies, “why not just let them be?” 

“The dead can’t be infected.” You didn’t sugarcoat it, it wasn’t something you could even if you tried. You patted her arm to keep going, the longer you stayed here the longer you wished you could’ve beaten that FEDRA soldier instead of Joel. 

The rest of the way was silent for the most part, Ellie not really being in the mood to ask more questions or to make conversation and you couldn’t blame her. Instead of being worried you were thankful for the silence. Instead you tried to focus on something else other than what you saw back there. Your eyes instinctively went back to Joel, who was quiet, almost pensive. The Joel you grew up with could never have stayed silent for too long, but of course what did you know? You were more Tommy’s friend back then, or at least Tommy was closer in age than Joel was. It was mostly you and him sneaking into movie theaters to watch movies you weren’t allowed to see, or TP someone’s house during Halloween. When you both graduated school you went on to college while he went into the army, Tommy did always want to change the world. Naturally you grew apart, with your focus on your studies and the limited letters that came in, you both lost touch, only regaining it when you’re nearly 30, widowed, and the world was on fire.

Life was funny like that sometimes. 

It wasn’t long until you got to Bill and Franks, you were half expecting Bill to be on the other side of the gate already asking in his paranoid way who the girl with you was. However, Bill couldn’t move around like he used to and neither could Frank. So when you saw that they weren’t there it didn’t surprise you, when you arrived Joel pushed in the number code and the gate buzzed unlocked. You held open the door for Ellie and walked inside yourself. At first everything seemed alright, but as you approached the house your stomach dropped to your feet and you went cold. The flowers on the porch were dying, even after Frank could no longer move Bill always made sure that the flowers were watered so that Frank would have something beautiful to look at. A million thoughts ran through your mind, what if Bill had fallen? What if something worse happened?

You got your gun out, holding it in your hand steadily as you turned to Joel. 

“Something isn’t right.” You said, “the flowers were dying and Bill wasn’t there to meet us at the gate.” 

“I agree,” Joel said, “but it isn’t too out of place for Bill not to meet us there.” 

“Have you ever known Bill to take kindly to strangers he doesn’t know?”

“Good point.” Joel got his gun out as well as he went through the door first, leaving you second to enter. At first nothing seemed wrong, it was just silent. You figured if you were going to get attacked, it would’ve happened by now. 

“Try the bedroom,” You told Joel as you put your gun in your pocket, “I’ll see about the greenhouse.” Joel nodded as he made his way down the hallway, but before you made it to the back door you saw the accent table in the hallway. You thought for sure that you were seeing things until you wiped your finger across only to leave a mark. Dust. You’ve never known this house to get dusty, or cold, but damn was it cold in here. It was too cold for Frank, his condition tended to flare up in the cold it was almost downright torture for him. Panic started to fill you as you went into the dining room, once again there was dust, but also rotten food. 

“What the fuck.” Ellie says, astonished, though you could barely hear her over the light pounding in your ears. You looked at the food, dust, and dying flowers, all of it couldn’t have compiled more than maybe a couple of weeks at most. 

“I can’t get the door open,” Joel said coming into the dining room, “any luck in the greenhouse?” You didn’t say anything as your mind tried to comprehend what deep in your heart, you knew. 

They’re gone.

“Uhh,” You turned to Ellie who held an opened letter and a single key, “it’s addressed to you guys.” You looked at the envelope, 

To whomever, but probably Joel 

Bill’s handwriting. 

“It’s from Bill,” she said as you saw her eyes dart as she read the lines before looking up at you. “It came with this,” she handed him the key she was holding. 

“So they’re dead?” Joel asked, Ellie looked apologetic as she nodded. 

“You wanna read?” she asked, Joel looked at you but you shook your head, Joel then nodded for Ellie to read. 

“August 29th, 2023” Ellie began. 

“If you find this…please do not come into the bedroom. We left a window open so the house wouldn’t smell, but it will probably be a sight. I’m guessing you found this Joel, because anyone else would’ve been electrocuted or blown up by one of my traps, hehehehehehe. Take anything you need, the bunker code is the same code for the gate but in reverse…Anyway, I never liked you, but still it’s like we’re friends…almost. And I respect you, So I’m gonna tell you something because you’re probably the only person who will understand. I used to hate the world and I was happy when everyone died…but I was wrong, because there was one person worth saving. That’s what I did, I saved him, and then I protected him. That’s why men like you and me are here, we have a job to do. 

And god help any motherfuckers who stand in our way. 

I leave you all of my weapons and equipment, use them to keep-” 

Ellie stopped suddenly, her eyes darting between you and Joel. You were about to ask what it said when Joel took it, reading it silently. 

“What does it say?” You ask, you could see a tense expression on his face as he ignored you. “Joel, what does it say?” he ignored you again, you were about to grab it when he moved it out of your reach. You could feel a tightening feeling in your chest as your eyes narrowed on him, “Joel, what does it say.”  he refused to look at you. You were about to ask and reach for it again when Ellie spoke up. 

“It said to keep Tess safe.” Ellie said, you turned to face her as Joel put the letter in his pocket. You felt your mouth go dry at her name and your heart break a little more as you understand what Bill said. He knew, and you were willing to bet Frank did as well. 

You were silent for a moment, turning away from Joel and Ellie as you gathered what strength you could. 

“Stay here.” 

You calmly walked out the door and to the side of the house, where they couldn’t see you and you let loose the tears that had been building up ever since you left Boston. You cried as you remembered how you failed to protect Tess and how it should’ve been you, you cried for Frank and Bill and you wished you could’ve done more for them. You let it all out, leaning against the house for support. You didn't cry like this, not since the outbreak. But every feeling you bottled until now seemed to overflow as you cried until your eyes were sore. 

When you came back Ellie was in the shower and you assumed Joel was checking out the supplies, so you decided to look around to see if there was anything else that you might need laying around. Hopefully they would both be busy enough that by the time they see you your eyes would be less tender and inflamed. You saw a box of clothes labeled ‘women’. They probably gathered this at the boutique so that you or Tess could go through it and get what you wanted. You were in need of some new clothes, the ones you were wearing were covered in grime and dirt. You searched and found a faded green henley, a new jacket, along with jeans, all new. You also found a few other changes of clothing that you would take with you along with some much needed underwear and bra. You were thankful that they thought of this, considering that this was only supposed to be an overnight job you didn’t pack accordingly in terms of clothes. You packed the other pair of jeans and shirt into your bag along with the two pairs of underwear and socks. They didn’t take up much room in your bag, which you were grateful for, and by the time you had gotten to the closet where he kept the toilet paper you heard Ellie come out of the shower. 

“Already snagged three rolls,” She said as she strolled past you, still drying her hair. “The shower is open if you want to get in. There should still be hot water left.” 

“Yeah,” you said quietly hoping your voice wouldn’t betray you, “I think I will, thanks.” You would try not to take too much time, out of all three of you Joel probably needed the shower the most. You would die for Joel, but dude needs all the hot water he could get. 

You grabbed your new pair of clothes and headed for the still steamy bathroom, you sighed as you already felt the tension that stored in your back release a little as you peeled your previous clothes off your body and hopped into the shower. 

As promised the shower didn’t last long, ten minutes at most. Enough to clean yourself and let the hot water relax your nerves. Even when you were going through school and the stress of multiple papers loomed over your head, you seemed to calm down when the water hit you. 

You brushed your teeth after and dried yourself, and after making sure that the floor was dry and that there was still hot water left for Joel you exited the bathroom, dressed in your henley and jeans. Part of you wanted to stay here. To bury Bill and Frank and live here away from the QZ, away from the enormous amounts of clickers and infected. But you couldn’t, there were too many memories here. And you wouldn’t disrespect Frank and Bill and move them, you just wouldn’t. Besides, the wiring on the fence was getting old, it probably had another few years before it would need to be replaced.

When you came back down you could see Ellie walking away from the desk. You didn’t think much of it until you walked by her and saw her jaw drop. 

“Wow!” Ellie exclaimed, “you don’t smell like a dead horse!” You roll your eyes. 

“Haha,” you laughed dryly, “thanks, and here” you said as you tossed her deodorant, she thanked you as she applied it. You were so busy chatting with Ellie that you didn’t notice Joel coming back in, or him looking at you for a moment longer than he knew he should’ve before going upstairs for his turn of the shower. 

By the time he was done you had made dinner  from what was still good in Bill’s fridge, which wasn’t much. All you could really make were a couple of sandwiches, you didn’t even notice him until Ellie did. 

“Well,” Ellie says, “don’t you look pretty! Don’t you think he’s pretty Doc?” 

You turned around to see him, his salted hair slicked back from the water, his skin clear of any grime or sweat, and a new set of clothes adorned him as well. The flannel suited him well, at least it didn’t have any holes in it. You think you saw Frank wear it once or twice, but he didn’t fill it out the way Joel did. But you figured that was for the better. You were so busy checking him out that you didn’t notice him doing the same thing, or the flush that was fighting its way to his face. 

“I’d say that,” you agreed, tearing your eyes away from him, “yeah.” 

“Shut up.” Joel gruffed, trying to hide his embarrassment by tossing another stick of deodorant towards Ellie who tossed it back to him. 

“I must stink if both of you handed me deodorant.” 

“No” 

“Yes.” 

You raise an eyebrow at him as he shrugged. 

“Let’s get going.” He said, “I already packed the truck up with supplies that we’ll need in order to make it to Tommy.” you nodded as you said one final goodbye to Frank and Bill, hoping that wherever they are, that they were as peaceful there as they were here. 

You took the backseat as Ellie and Joel sat up front, choosing to let Ellie’s first car ride be in shotgun. You smiled  as she pressed random things. 

“First time in a car?”

“It’s like a spaceship!” Joel looked tired as she continued to explore various things. 

“No it’s like a piece of shit Chevy S10,” Joel corrected, “but it’ll get us there…I think.” Joel looks over to her a second to see her not paying attention before sighing. “Seat Belts.” You see her look curiously at him as he reaches across her to grab said object and buckled her in. It may be invisible to everyone else, especially himself, but you could see his eyes soften just a tiny bit as he did. You wouldn’t say anything about it, but you knew Joel liked Ellie at least. He sees her as something to protect and that puts a smile on your face, knowing that Joel now has something else to protect. 

And in a way so do you. 

You left the garage and listened to the track that Ellie picked, watching the house fade in the distance knowing that while you’ll never be back there, at least the people there made the impossible possible. And made a home that was lived in and loved in this crazy, fucked up world. 

And life is full of loss

Who knows the cost?

Livin’ in a memory

Of a love that never was

Cause I’ve done everything I know. 

To try and change your mind

And I think I’m gonna love you

For a long, long time. 

TAGLIST

@burninggracesandbridges

#x reader #joel x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller #pedro pascal is daddy #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #bella ramsey #lgbt pride #tlou ep 3 #bill and frank #frank tlou #bill tlou #bill x frank #slow burn #x you #xreader #joel x reader angst #x reader angst #the last of us spoilers #the last of us hbo #tlous hbo #hbo the last of us #hbo #hbo max

[nickfowlerrr]

pretty when you cry - prologue

series masterlist / chapter one

*originally posted to @bellareadsandrecs on 01/23/22*

pairing: dark!biker!bucky x curvy!reader (dark!soulmate au)

warnings: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat. body insecurities, public humiliation, mentions of panic attacks, anxiety. future chapters will contain noncon/dubcon smut. 18+ ONLY.

words: 1.6k

notes: short little prologue to get this set up. let’s see how this goes. 🙂

This is a DARK series!!! Please proceed with abundant caution!

Two years ago

“Oh, honey, did you really think I was serious?” His dark voice laughed.

You couldn’t breathe. You felt like you were going to pass out. How could this be happening? Actually, that was a stupid question. Of course this was happening. Why would you ever think a man like him would be interested in a girl like you?

He was in his 40’s and you were about to be 23 come next month. He was tall and fit and attractive enough by everyone else’s standards. He wasn’t really your type but when he asked you out to the bar’s Halloween Bash, you just agreed. No one had ever asked you out before. And there he was, being nice to you and calling you “honey”. You weren’t exactly the most confident gal around, you had insecurities abound in regards to your body, but he didn’t seem to care at all. So you agreed and left your shift at the bar that night thinking of the cute costumes you could go as.

Now here you were, dressed as a dumb little deer with tears forming in your doe eyes as Brock berated you in front of the entire bar. The bar, you might add, where you work. The bar that his “biker club” hangs out in nearly every night. The bikers who were now surrounding you and laughing at your public humiliation. The worst part was that when you looked into the mirror before getting there, you actually felt really fucking pretty. Prettier than you’d felt in a long time. And god, you were so excited to come to this stupid bar to meet up with this asshole guy and go on your first date.

It was really naive on your part, you had to admit. Why would this man who’s seen you nearly every day for the past two years suddenly come up to you and start sweet talking you? If you had given it much thought, you’re sure you would have realized that he was just messing with you. And now you recalled every laugh he gave you during that conversation last week - and every laugh you had given in return. Unfortunately for you, you were never truly in on the joke.

After two whole minutes of his cruel words and taunts, your ears started ringing and all you could make out was the sound of drunken laughter. You turned tail and ran out of the bar, tears streaming down your face.

“Oh come on, don’t leave now, honey! You look so pretty when you cry!” He shouted after you.

You finally made it home after having a full on attack in the safety of your car. You pulled yourself up the porch and into your small but little home. You rented for now, but had dreams of buying the place one day. You weren’t exactly sure you wanted to stay in this town anymore, though. Not when more and more bikers seem to show up every day. It’d be a different story if they weren’t so cruel to everyone and anyone they crossed paths with.

Damn, you thought. You really should have known. Hindsight is 20/20.

You made your way to the bathroom and stared at yourself in the mirror. You didn’t get it. You stared and stared and stared.

You did look pretty. You looked really, really pretty. Even with the streaks of tears on your face, you couldn’t find it in yourself to say otherwise. How can what you see be so drastically different from what everyone else must see? You didn’t get it. But as you started to undress in front of the mirror, it became clearer. You had short legs. Thick legs. Big arms. And a little stomach too. You were by no means thin. You had an ass and nice boobs, though. Sometimes you thought that maybe made up for the rest of your body that you couldn’t find agreeable. Other times, like now, it just all came together and you cried in front of the mirror about how gross people must view you as. It was a terrible feeling. No one should ever hate their own body so much. You logically knew that. You knew if you saw someone else walking around looking exactly the way you do, you wouldn’t think any of these negative thoughts about them. So why then, do you keep doing it to yourself? You had asked yourself that question many times. But tonight you had a reason. Because tonight, you had every terrible thought you’d ever thought about yourself thrown right back at you by a completely different person. It wasn’t just you this time. It wasn’t just in your mind. It was all around you. The agreements of those people in the bar, their laughter at your expense. Suddenly you felt validated in viewing yourself that way. Because they viewed you that way too. You finally peeled your eyes away from your figure in the mirror and got in the shower. You tried desperately to wash away the shame and hurt. It didn’t work. You fell asleep later that night only after tiring yourself out from crying.

The next day you called your boss, Jack, to let him know you wouldn’t be coming in. And that you needed to change your schedule. No more closing shifts. You didn’t want to see any of those people again if you didn’t have to. Jack was understanding but let you know that he wouldn’t be able to give you weekday shifts anymore - he simply didn’t need anyone working when no customers were there.

“I get it, that’s fine. Weekend day shifts are fine, thanks, Jack.” you said sweetly before hanging up the phone and calling your friend Eva.

She was your age and beautiful. You’d been best friends since she moved into town four years back. You had started as roommates before she moved in with her boyfriend two years ago. That’s when you found your cozy little house and decided to try living on your own. Although you don’t live together anymore, you still spend as much time as possible with each other.

You tried to tell Eva about your night but started crying again before you could get anything out.

“Oh, y/n! Don’t cry! I’m on my way right now, I’ll be right over!” She promised before hanging up.

It was twenty minutes later she arrived at your door with food from the diner she worked at in hand and her uniform still on.

“Did you really leave work for me?” You asked as tears threatened to flood your vision once more.

“Of course I did! You don’t just hear your best friend break down on the phone and not run over as fast as possible. I know you’d do the same for me,” she said as she pulled you into a hug.

You walked back inside and told her everything.

“Goddamn bikers,” she spoke through clenched teeth. “I told you they were only trouble. From the moment I first saw them ride into town, remember?”

“Yeah,” you chuckled at the memory. You had been walking downtown, about to cross the street, when a motorcycle cut right in front of the both of you. Eva immediately lost it and started ranting and raving about how there’s a motorcycle everywhere you turn now and how you can’t even legally cross the street without having to worry about a bike taking you out.

“You didn’t deserve that, you know,” she said seriously as she looked into your eyes. “I’m serious. Even if you weren’t one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever known, even if you were actually really ugly, you still wouldn’t have deserved that.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at her words. And you didn’t have it in you to argue with her. You simply nodded your head and pulled her into another hug.

You spent the rest of the night watching movies, eating the food she had brought over, and talking about the small town gossip. Eva also brought up the idea of you working at Norman’s Diner with her. She’s tried plenty of time before to get you to quit the bar and work with her. She never liked you working there, always said it was too unsafe. She was right, but you couldn’t just up and quit. It was your first ever job and you couldn’t just leave Jack hanging like that. But now with your schedule change, you did need a new job to work during the week. Lucky for you, Eva was recently promoted to assistant manager. She said you’d just need to come down to the diner tomorrow and fill out some paperwork and you could start right away. She also said she’d make sure you were always scheduled together, “it’ll be fun!”

You agreed and the rest was history. You worked the diner Tuesdays through Friday mornings and then worked the bar’s day shift Friday and Saturday. It was a good schedule and you couldn’t complain. You’d managed to avoid Brock and his men since the incident and life was going well.

About a year and a half later, you heard gossip around town that Brock and his gang had been run out. You were incredibly relieved that you wouldn’t have to worry anymore about running into him or any other biker when you were just out and about. That relief was short lived though, when you heard that they had been run out by a different club. A club whose reputation truly preceded them. From the stories you’d been told, you decided it was best to still steer clear of any bikers you may happen to see around town. The prospect of having a run in of any kind with any of them truly scared you more than the other bikers had. You still kept to yourself mostly and avoided the town’s nightlife as you always did. Life continued and you didn’t find yourself in any more trouble. Until you did.

#dark!bucky x reader #dark!bucky #dark!bucky barnes #dark!bucky barnes x reader #dark!biker bucky #dark!biker!bucky #dark!bucky x curvy!reader #dark!bucky x plus size!reader #dark bucky #tw dubcon #tw noncon #pwyc series

[imawhoreidiot]

Babe, wake up! New Ghost theory(s) dropped

I have come down with a bad case of Ghost brain rot, so I feel compelled to contribute to silly little theories to keep myself from going insane. Big fat “what will happen to Copia?” theory under da cut :D (warning: it is long, BUT IT SCRATCHES AN ITCH, I PROMISE)

Recently, there was a rerelease of Mary on a Cross. At first, it seemed innocuous enough. Bands release songs in separate single albums all the time to get a little extra money. It wasn’t until I saw the cover that I started thinking there was some foreshadowing involved.

On the cover of the new album is Copia depicted in Roman coin fashion. He is crying blood. The coin is a parody of a Caligula coin (Both shown below)

In case you are not familiar with Caligula, he was a Roman Emperor that was killed by the Praetorian Guard, which were the equivalent to his bodyguards at the time.

Among the reasons he got assassinated: he became delusional with power. He demanded to be worshipped as a god, was accused of incest, and made many other poor political decisions (This is a highly simplified version of his reign.) The final straw was when he tried to move from Rome to Alexandria, Egypt in hopes to be venerated as a living God. Before he was killed, his delusions and paranoia grew to include those he was closest to and the people around him.

I don’t think any members of the clergy actually want Copia dead…yet. I think within the next year, we’ll be shown a side of Copia we’ve never seen before and he’s going to get more and more paranoid of dying or being replaced.

On stage, he is already starting to display irregular and erratic behavior. While singing Rats, he seems to have started yelling “NO” after the line “Never to return.” I’ve also seen videos of him being a little more tough on the Ghouls. 

More specifically, I think the Ghouls are going to be the ones to do it. They will grow fed up with his paranoid behavior and be the ones to do it, likely on stage. Impera is all about how no empires lasts forever and I think that message will directly correlate with how Copia will die. 

Additional support to the ghouls will be the ones to kill Copia theory: there was a patch that was available to purchase on the website that is now sold out. It’s a mimic of Michelangelo’s Pieta.

VS

As you can see, the patch shows Copia lying dead on Sister Imepators (heavily implied to be his his mothers) lap. In the original, Jesus is lying dead on Mary’s lap. One of the leading causes of Jesus’ death was due to the betrayal of one of his disciples. What if this is foreshadowing that Copia’s death will be caused by one (or more) of his ghouls???

Actually, since this is a theory post, and I’m already on the topic of the parallels between Copia, Imperator, Jesus and Mary, I’m going to go fuckign crazy with the theories,,,, so here’s your BOGO theory for the day,,,,

I also think Copia is being teased as being the antichrist. As in, son of Satan. I think Tobias is really amping up the “Copia and Sister Imperator are Jesus and Mary parallel.” I don’t think Nihil is actually Copia’s dad, but I do think he is playing the begrudging step father role, which makes him kinda a Joseph figure as well.

The main evidence I have for this theory is one of the fixed songs on the US tours set list is Prime Mover. Prime Mover hasn’t been played live in YEARS. Prime Mover is about Satan using a Nun to carry his child. Anti Virgin Mary if you will. Regardless, I think within the next year, we’ll get a lot more evidence to support some kind of coming of the antichrist, even if it’s not Copia. I have no idea where this theory would fit in with the other one, but hey, I said it was a theory, not that it made cohesive sense.

“But OP, who could ever possibly come after Copia??” no one says. 

“Do you have any theories?” no one pleads. 

I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DO!!!

In messages from the clergy, chapter ten, we get to see a little glimpse of Copia’s room. There’s a part in the video ( 1:40) that shows some Catholic style prayer candles. The one that has the main focal point is this bad boy

St Martin of Tours to be exact. And what was he famous for, you might ask? RESURRECTING 3 (THREE) PEOPLE FROM THE DEAD. THREE EXACTLY FOLKS.

Now, if the papas do get brought back (here's to hoping) I don’t think that they’ll front for the band, but I do think that there is a chance that they’ll be there. 

I unfortunately do not have anymore additions to any theories for now, but I am insane and don’t shut up, so more to come I’m sure!! I’m sure none of these theories are new, I just needed to articulate something 

#the band ghost #ghost hc #ghost theory #papa emeritus 4 #cardinal copia #sister imperator #papa nihil #tobias forge #nameless ghouls #papa emiritus ii #papa emeritus iii #papa emeritus i #i am going crazy #don't yell at me for lack of originality i just be talking sometimes

[awkward-tension-art]

Remain By his Side

Chp.2 Chp.3 Chp.4 Chp.5 Chp.6 (Smut)

You didn't expect that during your last year in undergrad, your entire life would shift. The military grabbed you, questioned you, and now you were someone they had on their radar.

Your cousin, Sherry, was as well.

And through all of this, you met Leon Kennedy. The man you'd fall in love with, and remain by his side.

~

This is gonna start off rather slow burn, but, and i'm going to go ahead and spoil, that reader and Leon DO get together. I want to write a series on Leon's relationship through out his years because of how his mental state changes through the RE series. also i'm actually a sucker for angst. a lot of angst. Also I didn't proofread, lol.

Enjoy! there will be more chapters added.

warnings: Reader is biologically female, but I try and keep pronouns gender neutral. If i ever slip up, i will need someone to tell me. This chapter has, probably, a lot of military inaccuracies. also a lot of FBI inaccuracies. Reader is a scientist and is Sherry's cousin.

Two people, a man and a woman, had walked into the class you assisted. They were wearing sharp, black suites. Their critical eyes swept over the lecture hall of about 40 undergraduate students. 

Your professor stopped the lecture on microorganisms, “I’ll give you time to write these for your notes,” He said before walking to the back of the hall.

Your attention was taken by a student raising his hand. Looking away from your professor and the strangers, you focused on the student's question. Before you could answer properly, your name was called softly and you looked up, “Keep your question, I’ll be right back.” you told him before walking to where your professor was. 

“Hi, can I help you?” You asked, unsure what was going on. Who were these people? FBI? CIA? Why’d they want to talk to you? You were just in your 4th year at the university. Did you accidentally commit a crime? Did you somehow sneak 3 pounds of heroin across the border in your sleep?

Ok, maybe not. But having two individuals with suits ask for you was weird.

The man, with cool blue eyes and dark brunette hair, confirmed your name before commanding, “Come with us. We need to ask you some questions.” Without waiting, he turned and walked out the door. The woman, a blonde with warm green eyes, followed, but turned back to make sure you were close behind. Luckily, you managed to grab your backpack before leaving.

You heard your professor begin his lecture all over again just as you walked out of the class, “Can you tell me what this is about?” You asked them as you sped up your steps to keep up with them.

“No.” 

“Who are you?” You asked them.

Wordlessly, the woman reached into her pocket and pulled out a shiny metal badge. 

FBI.

FBI?!

You shut the fuck up extremely quick.

The three of you left the building, you looked back, hoping whatever was going on would be settled quickly.

It wasn’t. At all. 

You were taken into the back of a black van. The agents sat in front of you, staring. 

“So…” You mentally cringed at how awkward you sounded, “Can I get your names?” You asked, hoping you didn’t irritate them.

“I am agent Olivia Dunham,” The woman stated, “This is agent Peter Bishop.”

Your next question was a shot in the dark, “Where are we headed?” 

“Fort Leonard Wood.” agent Dunham answered. You were pleasantly surprised she actually gave you the truth. You half expected her to say ‘classified’.

That’ll take a couple hours… you realized. Thank god you grabbed your bag. You could at least look over some of the students' papers you were supposed to grade. Besides, it’ll keep your mind busy from the anxiety you felt. 

Fort Leonard Wood was a military base. It clicked in your head, “Is my brother…” Was he ok? What happened to him? He had been sent to deal with a situation in Raccoon City. but since then, he hasn’t been heard from, “He’s in Delta Force. Did something happen?” 

“It’s not your brother we are concerned about.” Bishop responded, “It's your aunt Birkin.”

Aunt Annette?

“What-?”

“Any questions will have to wait until we get to Fort Leonard Wood.” Dunham snapped, shutting down your questions. 

Great… You swallowed and nodded before opening your bag to read and grade students' papers. You were a teacher's assistant, despite being your 4th year in undergraduate. Your professor luckily didn’t expect much heavy lifting from you. Just attend the classes to answer questions and help grade papers. It fit with your class schedule, which was a blessing considering your double major with immunology and microbiology. 

Despite your desperate attempt to focus on grading, you thought about your aunt Annette. 

You spent the summer with her, her husband and your cousin in Raccoon City. She gave you an internship for those months at Umbrella Corporation, to help your resume once you graduated. It was a wonderful summer. You were able to learn hands-on skills with research and lab work. 

You weren’t moving mountains, not in the slightest. Your tasks were mostly shadowing the other scientists, fetching them their reagents and samples, and passing along messages.

Still, the experience was one you held close to your heart.

If something was wrong with your aunt…where was Sherry?

“Is my cousin OK?” You looked up, “Please…can you tell me that much?”

Agent Duhman had sympathy for you. Thankfully, she bent and answered, “Your cousin is alive.” 

A tightness settled in your chest and wrapped around your heart. Sherry was alive? Why did the FBI establish her as alive?

Was your aunt dead? What about your uncle William?

What the fuck happened!?

The hours it took to get to the military base ticked by way too slowly. By the time the van came to a stop, you felt sick. Your hands were starting to shake and you had tunnel vision. You barely registered that you were taken out and walked into one of the facilities. Was this an administrative building? Garrison? Or was this a military prison?

The floors were white tile. The walls were painted brick. The hallways felt too small and too long. The lights felt too bright. Armed guards were at every door. You were scared. Stressed. 

What the hell was going on!?

“Wait in here.” Agent Bishop opened up a door to a small side room. There were some padded chairs and sofas. A countertop with a small coffee machine and cabinets. The door closed behind you, and you heard the door lock.

Lounge? Is this a lounge?

A small, shrill voice called your name, snapping you out of your stupor. Your cousin hopped up from one of the couches. She rushed to you and hugged your legs.

“Oh my god, Sherry!” You cried, kneeling to wrap your arms around her. You pulled her back to inspect her. She looked…filthy. Her blonde hair was crusted with grime. Her skin was covered in dirt and god knows what else. She had an unfamiliar red jacket over her shoulders. You held her face, “Sherry…what happened?”

“Sherry? Who is this?” An unfamiliar voice, masculine, grabbed your attention. He had approached and you looked up at him. The first thing you noticed were his eyes, clear and striking blue. His light hair was darkened with mud. His uniform, RPD riot gear, was torn, bloodied and soaked with…god was that sewage? His left shoulder was bandaged with filthy, graying gauze. Underneath the gore you’d consider this stranger boyishly handsome. 

This stranger was in a worse off state than your little cousin.

“Sherry is my cousin.” You said carefully, wrapping your arms around her small frame.

Your little, blonde cousin pulled back. She gained your attention and held the dirty police officer's hand, “This is Leon. He saved me.”

“Saved you? From what?” You stood, making eye contact with Leon, “I…I don’t know what's going on. I was brought here from my college…they mentioned my aunt Annette-”

“Aunt?” Leon stopped you, “you’re related to Annette Birkin?” 

You nodded, “My moms sister. What happened?” 

So Leon told you. His explanation of last night. Undead. Zombies. Carnage and chaos. He told you that your uncle had become a mutated monster. Your aunt had been killed, crushed to death by his claws. He told you what he knew of the virus called ‘G-virus’. He was sparing you details, you knew that. Everything was vague enough that you had to assume some details on your own.

Halfway through his talk you had to sit down. 

The destruction of Raccoon City. Your aunt had a hand in the deaths of thousands. You did too, to a degree. You had that summer internship…

You held your cousin tightly. Silent tears slipping down your cheeks. Your emotions were haywire. Now, countless questions bounced around in your skull. 

Did your family know? Where was your brother? What will happen to Leon and Sherry? Why did this have to happen? 

You didn’t have much time to ask Leon any questions, because agent Bishop returned and took you away. You were questioned for over an hour by him, a soldier and then agent Dunham. Apparently you were a person of interest because of your internship. According to the FBI, it was suspicious that you worked for Umbrella and left a month before Raccoon City fell to undead. 

You had to convince them that you didn’t know that this would happen. You didn't know what the N.E.S.T was. You didn’t know the G-virus existed. You didn’t know your aunt was even doing something with such a dangerous virus.

Finally, you were released. You were taken back to the lounge, and told to wait. Your parents were on their way to be questioned. As well as your other siblings. You still haven't heard anything about your brother…

You sat on the couch, Sherry asleep next to you. Across from you on the other one was Leon. He was leaning back, eyes staring up at the ceiling. He was waiting for…something. Family, perhaps? A girlfriend? Hell, maybe a boyfriend?

“Thank you,” You spoke softly, “For keeping Sherry safe.”

He perked up and looked at you before he nodded, “I’d do it all over again if I had to.” Leon said with a small smile. Though, you could detect that it was hollow. Empty. He was in pain both mentally and physically. 

“You're a good man,” You said, feeling the need to give him something close to reassurance before you continued, “What's going to happen to you and Sherry?” That question had been in your head the moment you united with your cousin.

He shook his head, “I don’t know.”

You frowned, “Where will you go once all of this is said and done?”

“I don’t know.”

“Don’t you have any family?” Looking back, it was definitely an insensitive question. But you didn’t know how someone like Leon could have no family. 

He shook his head and your heart broke. 

“I’m sorry…” You mumbled, “I..I didn’t mean to assume-.”

“It's OK.” the officer gently said, “You didn’t know.”

There was a lot you didn’t know. 

You didn’t know your aunt and uncle were making biological weapons. You didn’t know you worked for a company that destroyed a whole city. You didn’t know what a bioweapon was. 

You didn’t know when your family would get here. You didn’t know where your Delta Force brother was.

You didn’t know when the government decided to bomb Raccoon City. You didn’t know when the city was wiped off the face of the earth. You didn’t know how many souls were burned away and obliterated.

There was a lot you didn’t know.

#reader insert #leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy #resident evil x reader #leon s kennedy x reader #my writing #leon kennedy #chapter 1

[missvelvetsstuff]

Just A Number

Bucky Barnes x Older Reader

Summary: Reader meets Bucky at a party and the attraction is more than either one of them wants to resist.

Notes: Since most stories are younger readers I felt like having a more mature reader could be a nice change of pace. Especially since I'm creeping up on senior discounts and want to believe Bucky could fall in love with someone like me.

I try to keep my readers description vague but, as always, she's female, tall and this one is obviously 40+

Previous chapter....

As they went to get up they could hear the doorbell and the dogs barking. Y/N gave him a kiss before they headed for the front door to see who was there.

Series Masterlist

Chapter 13

Warnings: swearing, a little angst

By the time Y/N made it to the living room Dawn and the puppies were already at the door and John was practically climbing the walls to get away from them.

"Dammit Dawn get your nasty fighting dogs away from me and tell me where the fuck my wife is." He squealed.

Dawn snapped at him "They aren't fighting dogs, don't be such a pussy."

John was ready to snap back at her until he looked up to see Y/N and Bucky entering the living room.

He scowled at Bucky "Why is this asshole here? God dammit Y/N I told you to stay away from him and Barnes you need to leave. Like now."

Bucky put his arm around Y/N's shoulders and smirked at John "Make me."

She leaned into him, smiling sweetly at John.

Johns face grew red with anger, he sputtered "B bbut I I I'm head of this damn family and you dumb bitches are gonna listen to me." Pointing at Dawn and then Y/N.

John jumped when he heard Bucky growl and looked at the super soldier whose hands were clenched, muscles flexing and prosthetic whirring.

"I think you need to apologize to my girl and Dawn, your sisters are neither dumb or bitches."

He gave John his worst Winter Soldier stare.

Y/N could barely keep from moaning at Bucky's display and had to restrain herself from climbing him like a tree. Damn he's sexy when he's angry (fine he's sexy all the time but something about a person standing up for their person does something for me). She felt her panties dampen then her face heated up when Bucky's nose flared scenting her and he growled deep in his chest.

John whimpered and swallowed "Look Barnes, I don't want to fight with you but she's my sister and-"

A figure came down the stairs "JOHN!", making him jump. When he turned to look he saw Olivia at the foot of the stairs. He tried to take control.

"Olivia! What the Hell are you doing here? We landed a little while ago and I went home to a cold and empty house. You should have-"

Olivia shook her head "I'm so fucking tired of your lies and abuse John. Tell me, who is Sharon Carter?"

John paled before he caught himself and rolled his eyes "Don't be stupid Olivia. She's just another agent. Her aunt Peggy Carter founded SHIELD with Howard Stark."

Olivia's eyes narrowed "were you sleeping with her?"

John shook his head a little too quickly "No, we're just co-workers that's all."

Olivia sighed "Sargent Barnes said you were sleeping with her."

John flashed a glare at Bucky "Why were you telling my wife lies? You're the one who was fucking Sharon, she has the pics to prove it."

Bucky chuckled "I didn't tell your wife anything, she overheard me talking to Y/N LAST NIGHT after we landed. I came straight here. What took you so long?"

John sputtered "B b bbut I had to debrief. Then I went home to a dark, empty house and I've been looking all over the place for my wife." he crossed his arms over his chest "I even called my in-laws and they didn't know anything."

Olivia raised an eyebrow skeptically "You called my parents?"

John nodded quickly

She scoffed "And they didn't know where I was? Bullshit! Why didn't you call me?"

John chuckled nervously "I did call you, I mean of course I did but it just went to voicemail."

Olivia hummed and reached into her pocket. "You sure you called me? Because I don't see any calls from you anytime recently. Sounds like more bullshit."

John tried again to take control of the conversation "Must be something wrong with your phone. Why don't we just go home and talk about it?"

Olivia shook her head "We're about to have brunch, I'll be home later."

John felt his temper rising "No Olivia" he spoke to her like she was a child, trying to put his foot down. "We are going home. Now. So get your shit and lets go."

Olivia looked at Dawn and Y/N nervously, they both nodded, giving her confidence "No John. You haven't cared where I was for months, leaving me alone without any contact while you were off fucking someone else so feel free to go home but I'm staying."

"NO! Olivia that's enough. I won't have my wife using that kind of language or defying me like that. Now lets go!" He moved towards her until Loki and Thor got in between them, growling.

He looked to his sister's "Would you call your dogs off? My wife and I are leaving."

Dawn laughed "Sorry Johnny, it's time for brunch. You're welcome to stay if you can be nice."

They headed for the dining room while John stood alone in the middle of the living room wondering when he had lost control. Eventually he went to eat but just sat at the table with his arms crossed throwing nasty looks at everyone else.

After brunch was eaten and the kitchen cleaned up Y/N and Bucky disappeared to her room, to take a shower and get cleaned up before Jessie showed up for dinner.

At 4pm the doorbell rang, then Jessie let herself in. The dogs were the first ones there to greet her and started barking and playing when they saw she had her dog, Luna, with her. All three of them caught the zoomies and raced around the house.

Y/N came to the entry to greet her daughter, with Bucky trailing behind.

After hugging her mother Jessie smiled and offered her hand to Bucky "You must be the infamous Sargent Barnes that I've heard so much about."

Bucky grinned shyly "Please call me Bucky. Your mom has told me a lot about you as well. I feel like I know you."

Jessie smirked "She didn't show you any of my baby pictures did she? It's a bad habit of hers."

Bucky chuckled "No, we haven't gotten to the important going thru photo albums stage yet. I don't have any so I can probably find a way to convince her to skate past that one."

Jessie grinned "You have my tentative approval since you have a sense of humor but I'll be honest, anyone who makes my mom smile like that is alright in my book."

Bucky exaggeratedly wiped his forehead "Whew! I was sweating on that one. I doubt your brother will offer the same grace."

Jessie rolled her eyes at the thought of her brother "Mikey isn't a complete tool but he's kind of a dumbass sometimes. He'll come around eventually."

Y/N made margaritas for everyone while her enchiladas were in the oven and they sat in the living room chatting and listening to music.

Shortly after 5pm the doorbell rang again and the dogs went crazy. Y/N was checking on dinner while Jessie made a salad so Bucky answered the door to a tall, slender young man who had Y/N's smile until he saw who opened the door and scowled at Bucky.

Bucky grinned while offering Michael his hand to shake. Michael grimaced but shook Bucky's hand. "You must be Michael, I'm Bucky, pleased to meet you."

Michael scoffed "I know who you are. Is that stupid sounding nickname supposed to make people forget you're the Winter Soldier?"

Bucky chuckled "No, it's been my nickname since I was a kid, based on my middle name Buchanan. Do you prefer to go by Michael or Mike?"

Michael shook his head "I'd prefer you didn't address me at all. Don't you have some important save slash terrorize the world mission to run off to?"

Bucky couldn't help but laugh out loud "No, I got back from that last night and came straight over to see your mom." Bucky gestured towards the pitcher "Do you want some margaritas?"

Michael sneered "I don't need your fake hospitality in the house I grew up in. I need to talk to my sister." and stormed out of the room. Bucky followed behind him but was much more relaxed and moved more slowly.

Y/N heard footsteps and looked over her shoulder, expecting to see Bucky but was surprised to see her son. She finished sprinkling cheese on top of the enchiladas and put them back into the oven then set the timer for 15 minutes before turning around to look at her son. She looked him over and raised her brow in question, noting the angry look on his face "Michael. Long time no see." leaning back against the counter she crossed her arms over her chest defensively. "What brings you here tonight?"

Michael rolled his eyes at her "What? Am I not invited for Sunday dinner anymore?" he pointed at Bucky "He's not even family but he was in our living room playing hostess."

Y/N shook her head "You know you're always invited here, any day of the week, any time of the day but it's been months since you even answered a text from me."

He spat at her "I was hoping you would come to your senses but he's here so apparently not."

Y/N felt her shoulders tense "I'm not the one whose taken leave of my senses. If you can't treat me and my guest with respect you can turn around and leave."

John came out from Jessie's bedroom, where he had been arguing with Olivia all afternoon, to see what the dogs were making noise about. Olivia trailed behind him with an annoyed look on her face.

"Barnes! Why are you still here, I thought I told you to leave?"

He went to shake Michael's hand "Sorry kid, your mom still isn't listening to me. He'll get bored and toss her aside before long."

Bucky smirked at both of them and went to put his arm around her "Not a chance. You're stuck with me unless Y/N decides otherwise."

Y/N smiled and leaned into him before giving her brother and her son an angry glare "Johnny you get the same rule Michael does, treat me and my guest with respect or go eat somewhere else."

Olivia was tired of John trying to order everyone around "You need to stop trying to control everyone John, you aren't in the Army anymore. I'm staying for dinner, what you do is your problem."

John was ready to lose it and stormed out of the house only to pace the sidewalk in front, expecting Olivia to come after him but she didn't.

Michael made a face that looked like a rotten fish was being held under his nose but kept his mouth shut as his sat next to his sister, across from Bucky. Even when everyone else was talking and eating he ate silently, the look never changing.

Jessie finally got fed up with her brothers attitude and asked him a direct question about the show he was working on but he just gave her a dirty look and kept eating. She elbowed him in the ribs until he shouted.

"What is your deal, Jessie? I'm trying to eat and don't feel like talking."

Jessie rolled her eyes "You're sulking like a big baby who didn't get their way. Bucky is a good guy who went through some awful shit and he makes mom happier than I've seen her since dad died. Stop being a punk."

Bucky felt his chest warm up at this young woman he just met sticking up for him. And the idea that he makes Y/N happy.

He reached for her hand and pulled it to his mouth where he kissed her "That's all I want to do with the rest of my life, doll, make you happy."

Y/N felt her face heat up, he made her feel like a teenager again, the nervous excitement of new love, and leaned over to kiss him.

The rest of the meal was less tense but Michael still didn't talk much. Jessie did catch him laughing during one of Bucky's stories about pre-serum Steve Rogers but his smile dropped as soon as he caught her eye and the grin on her face.

By the time they had dessert he was smiling more and arguing with himself about reconsidering his opinion of Bucky.

They were cleaning up when the doorbell rang again, Dawn looked at Y/N who shrugged "I'm not expecting anyone" and kept the dogs back.

Dawn opened the door to a petite, well dressed, dark haired woman who stared at her for a moment "You must be the sister, Dawn right?"

Dawn nodded "and you?"

The woman sighed "I'm Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine but you can call me Val. I'm told your entire family is here tonight and I need a word."

@supraveng @cjand10 @440mxs-wife @kandis-mom @dtba-grey81 @calwitch @ozwriterchick

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky barnes x reader #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #angst with a happy ending #james bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x female reader #just a number

[littlelesbinonny]

The Devil's Den

Chapter 40: In Which The Daylight Is Dawning

You can read this also on Ao3 at: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46831621/chapters/117962293

::!TW!:: This chapter is violent, please be prepared.

You couldn't help but feel a little lost as you stood there in your living room alone.

Alcina had disappeared so quickly and you weren't ready.

There was a heaviness in the air, and maybe it was just Donna's words and your overactive imagination, but you could feel the twisting of something going wrong as every minute passed.

You were so tired.

Maybe you shouldn't have worked so hard on that illusion spell. Now you were depleted energetically and magickly and this was really not the time to be. You silently kicked yourself as you made your way to the kitchen for something to drink. God you felt so parched all of a sudden.

There was a jitteriness in your veins now and you couldn't help but feel like something was too close for comfort. Should you call Malka? No, no fucking way were you getting her involved.

Your eyes found the clock out of habit. It was almost midnight. Should you to go bed? Would you even be able to sleep?

It wasn't long into the thought you heard muffled caws from the other room.

Your instincts perked your reaction up and you shot to your bedroom to find all six of your crow family having an absolute fit on your balcony.

The cawing you had heard previously was now an unmistakable word; run.

But it was too late. 

All you remember after the icy fear was a spicy stinging sensation up your nose, pressure to your neck, and blackness.

~

Alcina and Donna went still as stone as the sound permeated up through the tunnels.

They both knew the sound too well and Alcina's eyes exploded with bright gold as her instinctive prowess flooded to the surface.

"You still have time to flee and run as far as you can," she said to Donna almost mindlessly, her eyes fixed on the tunnel before them.

"You're out of your fucking mind."

They looked at each other in the darkness and without exchanging so much as a nod, sprinted their way down to the underground.

Alcina stopped dead in her tracks as she peered out into the vast opening of her realm. Mutants had taken over the city. But instead of the bloodshed she had expected, this enormous army had herded all vampires and lycans alike to the inner city, circling and guarding them like the dogs they were.

She grabbed for Donna's arm in one last attempt to persuade her to leave this, but they were now being grabbed up by a slew of mutants that had appeared out of no where, ushering them to the center of the city along with everyone else.

Alcina was ferally fighting her desire to rip them to shreds but her subconscious thwarted the idea with a visceral hiss. 

She was no good to anyone if she was dead.

Every mutant had those same white glowing eyes. Dressed in all black. Their skin paler and more sickly than any vampire Alcina had ever seen. They moved robotically, as if they were a hive mind. None of them spoke or made a noise, but their unchallenged strength made her blood boil and stomach churn. They were all gangly, uncharacteristically gaunt, each face a hollow expression vacant of any thought or personality. What were these things.

The vampires and lycans of the city all turned to look at the Matriarch as she was shoved into the crowd along with everyone else, their faces beckoning her attention, demanding her to act, to tell them what to do, to give them any shred of explanation or crumb of hope that this was not as dire as it seemed.

She could give them none.

The hushed and hasty whispers filled her ears with an annoying overstimulation to her already sparking blood-rage. Alcina's awareness was so alert she felt tight in her bones, like one sharp movement would break them due to sheer tension.

And then she saw them.

"Where is Mother Miranda!" she bellowed at Ethan and Mia as they weaved their way through the parting mutants like the Red Sea.

Donna had now grabbed onto Alcina's hand in the hidden mass, her own desperation and fear threatening to drown her as she heard her Matriarch's voice demand that answer. She was a little too short to see through the collective of bodies that were gathered like livestock. But she felt Alcina's rage and power surging like tidal waves.

Alcina could not denounce the pure, white hot anger and dread that sparked in the pit of her being. These putrid fucking imbeciles were the last faces she wanted to see and suddenly everything began to shatter and crash around her. Her mind could barely form a thought as she watched them approach her.

This couldn't be. This simply couldn't be.

The fucking proverbial pin-drop silence was almost too much to take and Alcina damn near shrieked just to stop the deafening silence as everyone became overtaken by their uncertainty.

Ethan bore a smirk Alcina desired to rip from his face, Mia, was docile and unreadable as they were now within touching distance. Donna's grip of her hand was the only thing grounding and stopping her from making a move she would surely regret.

"Mother Miranda requests your presence in the City Hall," Ethan stated warmly, "as she does of everyone who can fit," he said a little louder, addressing any who could hear but never taking his eyes off the Matriarch, "and please, remove your coat and gloves, Mother Miranda would like this to be a relaxed setting."

He could see Alcina's immediate response was to be refusal, so he put his hand up, "her orders." 

Her reaction time was forced when a mutant tried to remove her coat for her. 

"Don't fucking touch me!" she lashed, turning on a dime and shoving violently at the mutant, her eyes on fire with the fury she was trying difficultly to harness.

Every set of eyes locked on their Matriarch to see what she would do. The unspoken hesitation to watch and act if their leader did also was palpable enough it unnerved Donna, giving her the urge to shake her fellow men from their trance. It was an excruciating and slow several moments as Alcina took her time deciding what to do.

After she was able to regain self-control, Alcina kept her stare of pending death on the mutant who dared touch her as she removed her gloves with care, followed by the coat from her shoulders, handing the article to Mia at her side who took it with care and tucked it under her arm, her beloved gloves, the ones you gave her, included.

She was left now in her favorite cream-colored, long sleeved, button down silk blouse, and her loose fitting black trousers that gave her figure the most understated yet beautiful form. Alcina grimaced at the feeling of pure vulnerability that blanketed her and gritted her teeth. She could kill Mia no sooner than if anything happened to those gloves.

Ethan smiled. "Come."

Alcina was absolutely quaking. Her jaw was clenched so tightly she could feel her teeth hinting at cracking. She was sure her face had hidden none of her rebuke as the petulant little fool turned his back on her and walked away, followed so ceremoniously by Mia she wanted to puke. But she did as instructed and followed.

Oh, the terrible things she would rather do right now than follow. Though, she knew her cards must be played wisely.

Donna said nothing as she held to her friend's arm for dear life while her brain screamed and calculated and planned on overdrive. This was terrible. This was everything she had dreaded and was now coming true. Her options for retaliation were completely defeated. What could she do? Where was Angie? Where was Karl, Dmitri, Sylvia, Mitch, Mateo, Gerard, Elina - WHERE WAS EVERYONE?

Focused so intently on where they were going, Alcina only now noticed how many mutants there really were. Thousands of these fucking creatures were on rooftops, on the walls of the caverns, flooded in the alleys and streets, lining the cobblestone walkways and sticking out like the sorest of thumbs. Alcina felt actually nauseas for the first time in years. 

Was this defeat? Was this where it ended for her?

Her questions were silenced when they entered the chamber and her heart plummeted to the pit of her core.

At the back wall of the city gathering hall were her daughters. And Karl, Dmitri, and everyone else who had been on the outskirts of the underground while they had been trying to prepare and fight against this outside force that just happened to be sleeping under their feet. Alcina felt cold as death by the look of her girls. Their fear was painted with no remorse on their beautiful faces and she nearly bolted towards them. But it was who stood alone in the middle of the sunken floor that demanded every ounce of her attention now.

Mother Miranda stood proudly. 

Hands folded neatly in front of her, waiting so patiently for their arrival, the smile on her face would otherwise be warm and welcoming had Alcina not known the wickedness beneath it. 

She was in full gold and black feathered regalia. Her high backed collar adorned with long, shining black feathers that moved graciously as she did, the stark contrast of her blonde hair done ornately upon her head bringing out her features in such a way that said without words; you will look at me. You will bow to me. You will adore and worship me. I am here for eternity.

Alcina couldn't distinguish her hatred from her fear.

In a swift movement an arm was outstretched when her icy blue eyes found Alcina, and like a moth to flame, she was beckoned to join the woman alone in the middle of the room while the rest of the place was filled to the rim with whoever could fit.

She didn't know why she'd come so willingly. She didn't know why she accepted her offer. She didn't know how or why she was still so easily corrupted to obey this woman whom she hated so desperately.

All the same, she did.

Mother Miranda was her maker. She had bled her, guided her, taught her, brought her into this life of darkness and made her who she was. Alcina fought against her unspoken obedience but it never seemed to work. She hated it, hated it. She wanted to be free of her!

"My dearest, my Alcina," her rancidly sweet voice cooed, a hand reaching to stroke Alcina's quivering jaw tenderly, "we're making history tonight."

What was she supposed to say to that. What reaction was expected of her in this moment.

Alcina stood entirely still, looking down at her wondering if she should make her move, if she should try to kill her, if she should let her blood-rage explode and shove her claws through her throat and take her head in one fell swoop.

"Welcome!" Mother Miranda broke Alcina's thoughts as she pulled from her and addressed everyone who were now gathered like sardines, "welcome... my children, my kin. Tonight is a very special night. As you can see, I come bringing gifts of the future - our future - which will be full of power and glamour, uncontested strength and abundance we've never been able to imagine."

Alcina's eyes swept the room briefly before her sights went back to her daughters who were each now being handled by a mutant and brought towards the back steps opposite Alcina. She felt the need to dash, to free them, to gather them in her arms and protect them with her life, which she feared would be the case as the droning of this fucking woman continued.

"But for this beautiful promising future changes must be made. We cannot go forward while clinging to the past - our weaknesses must be weeded out! We must grow! Change... and evolve."

Mother Miranda circled Alcina, her hand trailing along her body as she went, her eyes still fixated on the crowd and never once looking at her. It made Alcina wince from the tension. She wanted her to get her filthy hand off her, she didn't want to be touched, not by her, not ever, ever again.

"I'm here to offer this to you all!" Miranda grinned widely, "I have created the army you see before you! I have perfected our kind, and I will continue my work until we are as perfect and beautiful as we can be... who will join me? Who will forge this new path with me?"

No one reacted. No one said anything. Vampires and lycans carefully exchanged glances, daring not to move too quick or say a thing, until one lycan spoke out.

"Never! I will never follow you!" he hollered, stepping from the shadows and crowd to face her on the top stair, "you will lead us into chaos! The Lady Dimitrescu is our only true leader."

Mother Miranda faced him slowly. Unmoved. Still. Waiting for anything else, more to chime in, though none came.

Her heels echoed loudly in the hall. She came within a few feet and with the flick of her wrist the nearest mutant struck and the lycan was sliced from stem to stern and crumpled to the floor in a pile of black blood and intestines.

The gasps were short and sharp. Alcina remained unmoved as she watched and knew this was it; this is where the last fight for everyone's freedom would happen.

Miranda turned on her heels and walked directly back to Alcina who she wanted to flinch but knew she never would, and smiled up at her. Sizing her up in her own mind with a sly smile while she knew she held all the cards.

"Alcina. My dearest, most favorite, beloved child... Will you follow your Mother into the future?"

Alcina remained unmoved. She felt every set of eyes bore down on her like the weight of a pummeling avalanche and desperately tried to weigh every option she had. There were so few, if any. Her ability to control her mouth slipped through her chilled fingers.

"No." She whispered.

The freedom and chains that came with that hit her like bricks.

The smile on the tyrants face only grew wider.

"Oh I'm so glad you said that, my dear," she replied brightly, "her daughters, please!" She shouted to the back.

Had Alcina turned any sharper she may have fallen down. Her gaze went to find her girls being brought to join them on the lower level of the sunken floor, at the back, far from her reach, held captive by their assigned mutants while Alcina growled deep in her chest.

Her next course of action was to be as ruthless and insane as possible if this is where it was all going to end, but something struck her in the back and buckled her knees as she hit the floor with a searing pain.

She couldn't be sure what she comprehended first before the pain set in; the collective gasps, the look on her daughters faces, or a loud well manicured crack.

While Alcina had her back turned to Miranda, she had beckoned Ethan who slithered from the crowd with a glowing whip.

What Alcina also missed through the searing sensation and her wail of pain, was the very audible 'No!' screamed from Donna, who was in the arms of a very ruthlessly infuriated Karl Heisenberg, who was also watching from the sidelines in horror, just as powerless as everyone else.   "My kin, I really must give you a demonstration of the future I speak of!" Mother Miranda broke the tense silence, "and I must give due diligent thanks to your resident Lycan Leader; Karl Heisenberg, and his wild genius - his brilliant weapons and inventions have given way to brand new kinds of weapons that I and my new loyal minds of brilliance have perfected! Karl's breaking innovations to work with UV rays and radioactive material has proven invaluable in all my long research and innovation - as you see here - your Matriarch has been rendered nearly harmless with one strike of this gamma whip."

Karl felt as if he was coming apart from the seams. This fucking cunt had stolen his work and bastardized it in a way that should get her head ripped from her dainty little shoulders. He was so angry he could barely breathe, knowing Alcina's pain and pending defeat was his own doing. He was so ready to pounce, he was so ready to start world war three, but they were horrifically outnumbered and he knew this bloodshed would be in vain. Karl would hold onto his rage for the pending fight and release his terror the moment his chance appeared. He would save Alcina if it was the last thing he did.

When Miranda's eyes met Karl's, she smiled reverently and stepped towards he and Donna with a glacial slide, "I hope you will join me. Your mind would be such a sore loss."

Another crack sounded and Alcina cried out unwillingly again, dropping to her palms to keep from collapsing, knowing this is exactly what Mother Miranda wanted; a spectacle, to make an example of the most revered Matriarch this underworld had seen in centuries. To break her. In front of everyone.

She needed strength, she needed to focus, she needed desperately to get back on her feet and face this head on. She refused to go down with her back turned, on all fours like an animal.

The screams of her daughters gave her just that.

Blood-rage, though flickering in its strength, broke through the dams and flooded her veins. Searing pain or not, Alcina's black eyes forced their seeking to the sound as she rose with a primal stealth.

Her girls now donned thick glowing collars around their necks, the inevitable reaction seeming to be a strength and power sucking phenomena. 

All she could hear now was the rushing of power of her blood-rage in her ears and Alcina began to move towards her daughters, but several more cracks rang through her comprehension, the pain not so much, but then a suffocating sensation around her throat yanked her backwards all the while every jabbing pin and needle of a excruciating pain rushed over her with a gruesome strength. Her blood-rage was flogged into submission, the power and strength ripped from her grasp, and all she could do was gasp as her hands flung to her neck to grab at whatever contraption was around her throat.

Mia stood above her. A chain in her hand that drooped down to a collar of her very own. Alcina registered everything much slower but the screaming and shouting of her girls pierced her consciousness the fastest.

Pure adrenalin was all she had left and Alcina harnessed it with all her might to force herself to her knees, and there before her was Ethan with a blood dripping whip, Mother Miranda at his side, her face full of pride and glory. She gulped for breath as the world felt like it was getting simultaneously smaller and darker, the pain becoming more than she could bare but the pure spite to defy this bitch and her toys pulling weight. Alcina would fight until every ounce of her blood was spilled. She would not go down as easily as Mother Miranda intended. Never.

The rattling of chains snagged her attention and Alcina's tired eyes found that her daughters were now wrist bound and held at the mercy of the mutants. Their faces were full of fear and anger, eyes wide and glued to their mother as she gave them the smallest, more reassuring smiles she could muster, refusing to let them see her faulter.

Alcina mouthed an 'I love you' to them, relieved on the inside that they had not truly been harmed, just bound and held captive for the time being. It was enough. It would have to be.

Her focus was drawn away as Mother Miranda leaned down to her, taking her chin in her dainty fingers to kiss her cheeks.

"There's more, my pet," she cooed, rising swiftly leaving her there in her drained, bleeding state.

"As effective as all of this is, as you can clearly see, let me introduce the catalyst that changes everything about our future even more than these weapons!"

Alcina watched hazily as Mother Miranda was brought a very familiar black box from another mutant who was hiding in the wings, her heart dropping even harder as the realization sunk in.

With glee, Miranda opened the box and pulled out a small vial of dark liquid, adorned with purple wax as its sealer, "Olde blood! Olde blood that belongs to a being I had long thought had gone extinct... and this blood... will shape our very fortune in my plans. And I... I have its source within my grasp."

No. Please, no, Alcina begged within the confines of her mind, not you.

The grogginess you felt was unmatched, and you were certain it had to do with the things around your neck and wrists. You were awake but you were damn near useless as you were dragged down a long, dark hall where you could hear a woman's voice that sounded all too familiar without any real reason why.

Your lazy eyes watched as the scene unfolded, the panic following shortly after.

The room was vast and filled to the brim with people. Which you were now deducing were not human. Vampires. Lycans. And some other humanoid like creatures that were far more in number than the rest. And in the middle of this sunken floor surrounded by all of them was Alcina. Knelt in the middle. A blonde woman in black and gold was by her side, as were two others; a man and a woman. One held a glowing whip, the other, the chain to whatever was around Alcina's neck. And then you could see the blood trickling down and through her white blouse.

Her weak eyes met yours as everyone turned to see you as well, but you could only see her, her and the state which she was in, and you screamed.

"Alcina - NOO!"

The heavy thing around your neck was yanked and you choked. Had it not been for the brutes who held you by your arms you would have crumbled to gasp and hack for breath.

Everything suddenly became so much worse.

Alcina realized she had to make a move, not the one she wanted, but the one she needed to. She didn't care how many eyes were on her.

"Mother..." her voice echoed, as weak as it was.

Your watery eyes shot up when you heard it. Her voice broke. You'd never heard it break.

The blonde turned her eyes very slowly to the woman on the ground and smiled, "yes?"

Everyone was so quiet it was uncomfortably unnerving.

"Please, don't do this... please." Her plea was but a choked whisper.

Mother Miranda stepped closer and ran a delicate finger along the side of Alcina's face, "do what, my pet?"

Alcina wanted to laugh. This dramatic fucking bitch. She wanted her to play into the palm of her hand, something she had been so unwilling to do only moments ago, but now the recklessness and severity of the situation came to her clear and deadly as day. She was not above begging and barter for the lives of those she loved. If that's what it took to make any kind of difference that might lead to prevailing, she would. She would do anything.

"Please, don't hurt my girls... or her... Please, let them go," Alcina uttered softly, throwing her pride to the wayside, "do what you want with me... just... let them go, please."

Mother Miranda beamed, "begging already. It doesn't suit you, you know. But I can't deny that I like the sound of it. In fact, it's more than music to my ears, it's... pure pleasure to hear you beg." She took a step back and admired the scene before her, gently throwing a smirk to Alcina, "you know I could let you make a break for it and save them" she purred, looking back at you and then to her daughters on the other end, "but you'll have to choose for whom."

That fucking bitch. While you had absolutely no energy or magick to pull from at the current time, your fury was becoming unmatched and you shouted with a rasp as loud as you could.

"CUUUNT! YOU FUCKING CUNT!"

You had to draw her attention, you had to give Alcina any allotted time she needed to think, to get back on her feet, to act! But nothing was going according to plan.

Alcina shouted your name in protest but Miranda's visage turned on you in a flash, and then Alcina was crying out once more.

Miranda had snapped her fingers for another lashing from the glowing whip, the crack making your heart break as you watched as helplessly as everyone else. You couldn't fathom why no one was doing anything, why no one was rising up against this bitch, helping Alcina and killing them all. But then in those split seconds you were anxiously looking around for a face to lure into retaliation, the white glowing eyes of the out of place figures stalled your every thought.

It was them. 

It was the things you had dreamed about; the things that tore Alcina away from you in your dream; the monsters that haunted your subconscious ever since. These must be the very things that had ripped Alcina apart, the things that almost killed her, the things that gave her wounds she couldn't heal from. And that bitch, that cunt, that psychopath in the feathered dress, was the culprit. 

That was Mother Miranda.

"I really should be thanking you, Alcina," Miranda's voice echoed, bringing everyone back to her attention, "for finding me the perfect host to begin the real work," she chuckled with a wicked sneer, looking at you with a hunger, "take her to the lab, NOW!" she barked.

Before you could protest, something spicy in a black container was shoved under your nose and everything went black again.

Alcina watched helplessly as the burning sensation in her body made it hard to breathe, let alone concentrate, the lack of her natural energy making the panic so much easier to set in, but before she could try to barter once more in her desperation Miranda turned on her and knocked her fully to the floor with a strong hit.

The taste of her own blood exploded in her mouth and the cold of the stone floor was a biting contrast to the heat from the open whip gashes in her back and shoulders and now her bloodied lips.

She gasped shortly as she felt a hand in her hair that tugged her from the floor and forced her to look at the face looming above.

Mother Miranda smiled, "your girls are looking exceptionally pale, my dearest Alcina. They need some sunlight."

The sounds of her daughters struggle filled the hall, the clashing of chains and the very apparent one-sided fight behind her making her soul run cold and her heart shatter to pieces.

Alcina swallowed and coughed, "n-no, M-Mother Miranda please, no!" If not for the immobilizing pain from the whip and the unnatural effects this collar had on her, she would have ripped Miranda's throat out of her body in record time.

"Shhh, shh my love," Miranda soothed, leaning down to the most unhappily docile Alcina she had met since she had been human, "for you..." her eyes went dark, "you may watch as your world turns to ash, joining them not too long after I suppose. Depends entirely how quickly the sun decides to move today."

The sounds of her daughters screams of protest began to dwindle away as they were dragged further into the underground, to the sun towers, where death awaited them. Alcina felt hot tears begin to cut ravines down her cheeks as she huffed, sneering and gulping down her pain and anguish, the brutal defeat of not being able to retaliate and do as she pleased to end all of this before it was far too late.

"You should be grateful, you know," the blonde affirmed confidently, loving her control and power trip almost as much as her own voice, "I should condemn you to eternity in a box, with nothing but your screams to keep you company - your death could take centuries... But I simply cannot risk it."

Miranda leaned back only briefly to admire Alcina. Her beauty was unmatched even this way, and she sighed.

Moving ever so slowly, Miranda placed her lips against Alcina's ear, "you see, you have found a Fae... just for me. A precious creature I thought had all died out hundreds of years ago. And she, she is simply too much for you. The love between the two of you will ruin everything. I need her. She will be perfect. So, from the bottom of my dead, black heart... thank you, my pet, for giving me the key to my new dynasty. Your death, and the death of your daughters, will set the needed tone for my reclaiming of the throne underground... You've been a wonderful gift, my favorite, truly, as I have told you many times," she pulled away again, gazing into Alcina's beautiful, grief stricken face.

Her fingers caressed her feather light, Alcina's stomach felt queasy, ill, like she could crawl out of her skin at the mere sight of this woman. She desired more than ever to break free from her binds and kill her. And she couldn't. Her tears could not have been more bitter.

With precision, Miranda placed delicate kisses along Alcina's cheekbone, down her wet cheek, down, down, and grazed her lips along Alcina's that were trembling, stealing tender kiss after tender kiss as she held both sides of her face within her palms. 

She hummed, another smile appearing as she lingered so close, "it seems a shame to waste you," Miranda whispered, "I've wanted you more than any other of my fledglings. You... had the most potential. The most beautiful. The most broken. The most desirable to watch all of these long years together. But, what must be done, must be done."

Alcina was melting. Hating every syllable. Breaking at her words. Hating every breath. The lump in her throat was unbearable as it all buckled. She hated her. Hated her. Hated everything she had done to her. Hated every touch, ever glance, every word she'd ever uttered. Alcina had mustered enough strength to elongate her teeth and was just close enough to her jugular, but in the split second of her thought, her window of opportunity was gone.

Miranda pulled away like a flash and stood there peering down at her with what seemed to be pity, and maybe a hint of regret.

"Take her." 

The scream Alcina thought was her own was not. It was Donna's.

Alcina only stole a brief glance at her and Karl on the steps only feet from her before the cracks of the whip sent her spiraling into an anguished wail. Her breath was ripped from her lungs with another crack, another lick of flame, the mixture of the tightness around her throat sending her senses into overdrive as she felt herself being jerked back and drug along the rough stone floor, up the jagged steps, and through the side doors leaving a splotchy trail of blood in her wake.

It couldn't end like this. It could not end like this.

Alcina felt the fitful desperation deep inside of her, but it was refused entry to the surface by the thing around her neck. She felt human once again; weak, stricken down by her illness, denied the ability to take charge of her own body and mind; that she must bow and accept her fate because there simply wasn't another option she was given.

No! NO! She screamed internally.

Her daughters needed her. You needed her. The vampires and lycans she had watched over for all these years needed her. 

She could not fall!

Another visceral pang of defiance clawed from her depths and escaped through her throat with an earth shattering scream.

Beyond all odds, Alcina felt a short volcanic eruption of blood-rage hit her system and she grabbed the chain Mia held and yanked it, hard.

In a blinding, blurry movement she was up and on her feet, her vision, cloudy as it was, could make out the outlines of Ethan and Mia and her long razor sharp claws went swinging. She hit one of them, she wasn't sure who, she did not fucking care, and kept swinging. She slashed and slashed and screamed and screamed through the utter chaos that was pouring out of her. The smell of their blood helped to fuel her fury, and though she could feel the cutting and snapping of the whip Alcina's will to survive seemed to be winning.

Until it wasn't.

She felt the stab of a very familiar blade run her through. 

Alcina's body stalled. 

Her vision returned, blood-rage expunged. 

Ethan stood in front of her, the dagger still in his hand and plunged just below her sternum.

Alcina's breath escaped the moment he pulled it from her and she tumbled to the ground with a thud. Time stilled. Memories and defeat slathered her slowly. She felt cold and clammy. Her breaths were shallow and ragged and the vampires she'd done plenty of damage to, began to drag her limp body once more down the dark hallway.

The next thing sensation she was met with was the bitter, blistering cold biting at every inch of her. Her eyes fluttered open as the sound of clinking, latching metal radiated through the tight space.

She lay crumpled on her side in the silo, the last bit of warmth from her own blood cooling quickly not only on the ground as it spilled, but through her very veins that were closing up. 

When her vision blinked clear, her three daughters were before her, chained and huddled together at the other side of the round silo. 

"M-mother!" Cassandra sobbed.

Alcina did everything in her power to push herself from the ground but she could not. 

"Mm... my girls..." she was at least able to utter, trying to focus and give them a look of comfort, "nu te teme. Asta nu sa terminat," she rasped, the puffs of mist from her voice escaped and dissipated into the frigid air. (do not fear. This is not over.)

She would force a tone to believe her own lie, to give her daughters any bit of hope she could. Their sniffles and choked cries were breaking every last bit of herself she'd held together apart.

"Este... atât... de frig... mamă," Dani's teeth chattered, "Am... simt că... mă rup." (it is... s-so... cold, mama - I... feel like... I'm breaking.)

Had Alcina anymore tears to cry she would have shed them, but she was too weak to do much of anything at all.

Her voice was shallow and light, but she pushed through the numbing pain with all she had left, "nu vă temeți, dragii mei, suntem împreună... ajutorul va veni." (Do not be afraid, my darlings, we're together... help will come.)

The girls held tighter to each other as they looked upon their bloody, beaten mother. Their tears began to freeze on their pale cheeks as they fell, the terrible cold of the winter night holding back none of its malice.

Bela tried to clear her throat through the lump that lie there, "noi... te iubim, mamă." (we... lo-love you, Mother.)

Alcina winced, her tired eyes going wide, "nu face asta... Nu-ți lua rămas bun. Asta... nu s-a terminat... nu te lasa... asta NU s-a terminat." She choked, searching labored for breath. (don't you do that... Don't you say your goodbyes. This... is not over... don't you give in... this is NOT over.)

She burned inside. Burned with hatred and defiance. Wishing her body would join the fire still alive in her stomach. She didn't want it to end like this, her daughters deserved better! They deserved to live! She had worked and loved them too hard for this to be their end. Alcina would not believe it. She would refuse with her remaining might.

After several silent moments, Alcina slid her trembling arm along the ground as far as she could towards her girls, unsure if she could reach. They in turn moved slowly and gingerly, but they too reached for their mothers hand. Their fingertips barely overlapped but it was enough. It was enough.

A single tear rolled from Alcina's eye as she lay there on the painfully cold stone, forcing a smile on her bloodied lips, "sunteți comorile mele... Rațiunea mea... Cauza luptei mele... Sunteți cioplite în inima mea pentru tot restul timpului... Fiicele mele... Vă voi iubi în orice vârstă... Noi lupta pana la capat... Suntem Dimitrescu's! Te iubesc!" (you are my treasures... My reason... The cause of my fight... You are carved on my heart for the rest of time... My daughters... I will love you through every age...  We fight until the end... We are Dimitrescu's! I love you!"

Their smiles warmed her soul in the bitterness that fought to break them.

The black sky and tiny diamond stars that shown through the silo's opening far, far above a pretty little scene as they waited. 

The cold, silent night would hold them now to whatever end. 

#alcina dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu/female reader #alcina dimitrescu/original female character #alcina dimitrescu/reader #lesbian #f/f #fanfic #wlw #fic #donna beneviento #mother miranda #karl heisenberg #violence #blood #tw blood #tw violence

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 10/17/2023

started explaining why this one is a little lighter than last week's gallery wall behemoth bc of a uhhhh kind of dire week, personally and professionally speaking, but then realized when fic authors do that in front of chapters i don't actually care or require an excuse from them, im just delighted to have a new chapter.

listening

this is a deeply cheesy little folk song but the lyrics "man you name it and if we ain’t got it: we’ll get it" gave me a sensible chuckle.

now for a moment to expound upon houston: they truly have imported every possible food service establishment. the two chains i miss most from jersey, jersey mikes submarine sandwiches and 7-11 gas stations, are both here. i get that this is the fifth largest metro area in the US or whatever but both of these companies are SO niche. absolutely bonkers. spotify.

i think this started autoplaying after a playlist inspired by f/allout: new v/egas came on??

-

reading

i originally had a very mean-spirited graf about the utility of a pool in northwestern massachusetts and the kind of person who can comfortably lose $31k, but it is genuinely awful that there are no rules around zelle. that money goes into a black fucking hole and there's no way to get it back, which is not the case for any other kind of recognized money except cryptocurrency

Did we confront Gary Kruglitz [the pool contractor]? Yes we did. We marched right into his office and grilled him hard until he defeated us with a simple and probing question: What's a zelle? It defied belief, we quickly realized, that a man who had been trapped in technological amber since the Nixon era was running a cyberscam designed to come between us and our money out of an AOL account.

-

watching

Van Helsing (2004, dir. Sommers). this movie is horrible. this movie is terrific. i don't have anything to say about this movie bc i was distracted by equal opportunity tits and asses the entire time. the time of the “Kate Beckinsale in a corset” movie genre is long over but GOD. watched with my sister bc it's leaving tubi soon

playing

one week i will have the energy to try New Thing but until i do it’s genshin. there's a poetry event that has terribly boring minigames, but the story quest has finally tied a bow on a piece of folkore we came across in the very first release so that was fun!

wrapping up some stuff in sumeru bc im running out of map pins, this game has done one of the things i hate most: progress-locking one extremely long and tedious collectible hunt (the music gates) behind another extremely long and tedious collectible hunt (the robots locked in the vines). the next time i see one of those little fucking budget koroks i am going to drop kick it into the sun. what the fuck is the circumference of teyvat anyway. it feels like we have explored so little of this planet's surface

i have graphics turned down pretty low bc of performance issues on my elderly laptop and this is still such a remarkably pretty game. look at this big estuary leading off into the distance

-

making

i wildly overextended myself this week, partially bc im trying to take advantage of this brief post-covid heightened immunity. lot of dinners. lot of late nights. on top of that BOTH of my siblings were in town for unrelated professional reasons this week :) no overlap so we did not have a nice fambly dinner :( but did have pretty okay separate dinners :) if they could learn to fucking communicate their trave plans and the number of peope that will be showing up at my home that would also be pretty okay >:(

one of the party games i played this week asked the question “what could you give a 40-minute PowerPoint presentation on” and i started saying facts about the downfall of the penn central railroad and they very nicely let me continue saying facts about the downfall of the penn central railroad, the largest bankruptcy in US history until ENRON, until the round timer went off.

i have some thoughts about Train Guys and how it's very easy to fall into being a Train Guy, bc there's a very easy template to follow, and there's a lot of Train Guy content, and have i been doing this bc i actually like trains, or bc it's easy to listen to Well There's Your Problem on repeat bc it's familiar and comforting, or do i just really really really fucking hate flying?

who could possibly say.

mackintosh update: allowed herself to be scooped up by my brother (who she met at christmas and loves) but did NOT allow herself to be pet by the strangers in his company. did hang out in the middle of the floor observing tho. a regular little extroverted socialite!

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Runaway - Chapter Four.

A very warm thank you to you all for your interest in this! I’m so happy you’re enjoying it :) Well, here you are, then. You asked, and now I deliver. As usual, 40 notes to unlock the next chapter, which I can promise contains more of the same!

Previous chapters - Prologue  One  Two  Three

Taglist - In the comments, please DM to be added/removed 

Words - 1,866

Warnings - 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!

His mouth rained kisses upon her, lips pressing a bonfire of heat against her skin, tongue wetting trails upon her chest, her arms, her hands, sucking her fingers, teeth nipping, his short beard grazing over her, the culminative effect making her feel mindless, and he hadn’t even touched her intimately yet. His mouth returned to her chest, tongue swiping her cleavage before his full lips hovered over her erect nipples in turn, teasing for the briefest of moments before sucking, her body juddering.  

Each pink bud was bathed in the wet suck of a hungry mouth, Manny shifting so he straddled her thigh, taking his weight onto his elbow as this other hand began to skim strokes down her leg, wanting to make her ache for his touch just a little more, but unable to resist the desire to stroke at the petals of her cunt, fingertips sliding over her folds, the liquid silk of her arousal bathing them.  

That first touch had her arching off the bed, her back bending like a crescent moon, her moan rich and full bodied, his teeth biting her nipple just a little bit harder, his long, deft fingers spreading her wetness around, settling upon her clit and beginning to circle. His touch was perfect, Hannah mewling softly as she felt her core ache, his breaths heavy against her neck as he moved to kiss her elegant throat, a soft groan rumbling his as he pushed two fingers into her.  

“Oh god, you’re so fucking wet for me already, damn, girl.” He whispered, his mouth finding hers, kissing her with all the heat of a furnace, those clever fingers seeking out her sweet spots, rotating against the hot slick of her walls, forcing soft little exclamations from her, drinking them down like wine as his lips locked with hers. “Yeah, that feel good, baby?”

She couldn’t even form words, delight tumbling through her, merely uttering a soft ‘uh huh’ as her head fell back on the bed, his fingers entering, rotating, dragging back, moving his thumb to her clit to stroke it in perfect rhythm. It didn’t take long for him to kiss a sizzling path down her body, his mouth craving to be quenched with what drenched his fingers, removing them, sucking her wetness from them with a hungry grunt, pushing her legs wider so she splayed for him, delving his tongue right into her folds, the syrupy wet of her cunt flooding and plentiful.  

“Ahhh, fuck!” she cried out, overcome at the sensations of his mouth, tongue dragging her eagerly, long licks from her glossy opening to her clit making her very bones shudder in ecstasy, Manny groaning, pushing his tongue inside her, his cock throbbing within the confines of his jeans.

“Fuck me, if this ain’t absolute heaven in cunt form, shit.” he exclaimed, Hannah wincing a little at his use of the C word, until she realised just how hot it actually was. “Imma fucking eat you alive, darlin’.” He swiped at her clit with the flat of his tongue, pressing it hard, wiggling back and forth, Hannah crying out as every last nerve ending sang its bliss, her hands resting either side of his head as she gritted and hissed with the utter divinity of it.  

He sucked upon her like ripe fruit, his groans deep, like boulders rolling over one another, the heat radiating up her spine as she panted, watching him tipping her further into mindlessness before her eyes closed and her head fell back, the flickers of the very tip of his tongue working in speed over her clit too much, but not enough, her body shaking in response of being so lit up. It felt like an ice storm meeting magma, her body gleaming for him, Manny pushing his fingers back within her heat, burrowing deep.

Placing a suck upon her clit, his cheeks hollowed, the pressure gentle at first, fingers circling her walls, entering her then with rapidity, that suck intensifying until he had her crying out softly, those exclamations the sweetest things he could remember hearing for a while. His hunger to devour had him tearing his fingers from her, covering her entire slit in the thirsty suck of his mouth, groaning against her folds as his tongue laved her incessantly.  

Reaching for his jeans, he undid them, sliding them and his boxers down, kicking himself out of them with impatience, the need to be within her rocketing through him, his heart thundering in his chest as anticipation skittered over him, kissing his way back to her mouth, lips meeting hers in a hot mesh of filthy indulgence, his words matching.  

“Wanna spread those gorgeous legs and let me fuck you, huh? Is that what you want, for me to bury my big dick right up deep in this pretty little pussy, darlin’, get me all wet?” Those words fuelled the epicentre of her bonfire, Hannah nodding, their kisses scorching as he moved between her legs and glided into her, her walls tensing on his shaft, dragging a groan from the depths of him. He sat back on his heels, taking root in her, his eyes watching the sight of it, his cock sinking in and out, her wetness bathing him thickly.

He fell to her then, the blinding need to chase the fire roaring through his veins consuming him, his flames catching at her edges as she wrapped her legs around him, their mouths meeting messily.  

“Oh god,” she gasped, clasping his face, seduced further by the look of dark lust pooling his near black eyes. “Fuck me, yeah, that’s it. Oh, fuck me!”  

And he did, pounding into her relentlessly, hitting her so deep, shocks skittered through her, but it wasn’t just the mindless bludgeoning of her uterus that she was used to. Oh no. This man, he had sexual finesse in shades, Manny knowing exactly where to align himself in order to have her seeing stars, entire constellations exploding where his dick scraped against, Hannah’s mouth falling open, watching his grin widening to see witness how much she was enjoying him.  

He slowed then, wanting to make it last longer than the rampant charge of his arousal was dictating, pulling himself back, thrusting a little shallower, almost retreating, slipping back deeply, a slight change in the angle of his hips making her mouth drop open even wider, her mouthed words of ‘what the fuck?’ spurring his laughter.  

“Yeah, mamas. That cock hits different, don’t it?”

Hits different didn’t quite cut it for her, never being fucked like that before, with such skill and purpose in her entire life. His head dipped, sucking her nipples in turn, tongue circling them with a hungry grunt, his hands stroking paths of blissful heat up and down her thighs as his cock hit her deep, deep, deep.  

“Mmmm, yeah. You look so goddamn pretty, spread all around my dick, shit. Got me so fucking drenched, beautiful.” he groaned, sitting back up again, the sight so steeped in erotic heat, he had to close his eyes for a moment, those tingles pulsing too rapidly, the desire to chase his release held fast, slowing, long lashes parting again as he stared down at her. “That feel good, huh?”

“Oh, you’re the fucking best!” she cried out, her body jolting when he brought his thumb to her clit, tight circles spreading glimmers through her, pleasure melting down her spine and puddling at her cunt, covering him further in her dew. She raised herself up on her elbows, her hips shunting against each of his thrusts, fucking him back with purpose as she let her gaze fall to watch it. “Ohhh wow, I really got you slick, didn’t I? Only fair I clean you up a little.”  

Pulling away from him, she turned to gather her legs beneath herself, taking his cock in her hand and feeding into the hot clasp of her eager mouth, Manny’s eyes scrunching tightly shut, his hands weaving into the soft waves of her hair. “Mmmm, I love the way my hot little pussy tastes on your cock.”  

Fire. She had an out-of-control blaze burn right through him with those words, her mouth gliding back and forth over his shaft, sucking him clean, her moans sending delicious vibrations over his cock. “Damn, baby. You’re so fuckin’ dirty.” he groaned, watching himself vanish between her keen lips. “Yeah, you want me to choke you on it, fuck this pretty little mouth?”

Letting him go with a slippery pop, she licked her top lip, her eyes glittering with dark lust, turning her head to bite his hip. “Oh, you better fuck my face like the dirty little whore I wanna be for you.”  

‘Fuck! How is this chick real, and where the hell has she been all my life?’ he thought, grasping her hair hard, forcing himself back into her mouth, pounding himself into her throat, muffling her moans with each barbarous thrust. Her eyes began to water, Hannah looking up at him as she sucked him hard, her hand between her legs, rubbing at her clit, the filth of it making her throb as she felt him twitching.  

Bracing her hand against his chest, she rolled one of his dark nipples between her thumb and forefinger, the force of his cock making her gag, pulling her head back, spitting on it before wrapping him in a hard suck again, Manny continuing to fuck her, his brain gone to mush completely at how utterly filthy it was, feeling himself ascending sharply. Gritting his teeth, he rumbled a groan, a long train of expletives leaving his mouth as her lips tightened on him, pulling his release into her throat as he spurted into her, waves of bliss washing over him in ceaseless crests.  

Barely giving himself any kind of time to recover, he pushed her down, lifting her legs to his shoulders, hand curling around her throat as he drove back into her cunt, dragging sparks through her walls. “Let’s fucking get you there a few times now, darlin’.”

“What the...” she panted, eyes wide with disbelief. “You can blow your load and still keep going?”

He grinned, leaning to kiss her. “Yup. Sometimes I can, and right now is one of them because I ain’t stopping until you cum stain the fuck outta my sheets.” Holding her down, his hips began to rail against her so hard, he had her crying out, bearing his weight down into her cunt, the lewd sounds of their bodies smacking together filling the room, his cock squelching within the wet mess of her sopping walls.  

“Yeah, fuck me! Fuck me right there, oh god, oh!” she wailed, her nails digging into his shoulders and tearing down as the light rolled over her, white-hot and pulsing, her sun rising over the valley that was him, bursting to dawn. She was boneless and without breath in the aftermath, but he didn’t stop, slowing a little before pulling her out, turning her over and sinking back in to pound her savagely from behind.  

“Ain’t you glad you’re not somebody’s wife right now, huh?”  

Truer words were never spoken.  

#manny mayans mc #manny mayans mc smut #manny mayans mc fanfiction #manny mayans mc x ofc #manny mayans mc imagine #manny montana #manny montana smut #manny montana x ofc #manny montana imagine #mayans mc #mayans mc fanfiction #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc smut #mayans mc fanfic #mayans mc fic

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 71. brb x oc

a/n: GOD im sorry I LOVE WRITING ROOSTER BEING A DAD

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: fluff, Rooster being dad(dy) material

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/

25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

/65/66/67/68/69/70

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-

Imagine his surprise when Beatrice let him know that the blanket was actually folded and they could lie down and cover themselves with it? The weather got a bit colder but neither of them planned on leaving yet, they were just looking up at the night sky, her head on his shoulder and his hand brushing up and down her bare back, his middle finger following the line of her spine slowly.

Their clothes were safe from sand since they were all in the basket, so they didn’t have to worry too much about those things right now. He blinked when her voice quietly called his name, turning to face her only to see her gentle smile and red cheeks, “Are you okay?”

His eyes soften as his hand continues it’s up and down trailing, “I am. Are you?” she nods with her cheek still resting on the curve of his broad shoulder, cheeks flexing the more she smiled, “You really overdid yourself.”

“Thank you.”

“You are welcome,” he taps the tip of her nose when he says that, watching as she scrunched it up with a giggle, “Your ideas are always welcome, you know that.”

Beatrice hummed happily, nuzzling his skin and curling more against his body under the blanket, now the cold finally touched her body like cold needles piercing her skin, “I’ll remember that.”

“Do you want to go home?”

She just nuzzled him even more, “Not yet, we have a little bit of time before leaving.” she whispered, “Let’s just…enjoy this.”

Bradley smiles down at her, kissing the top of her head and sighing when his head falls back on the dark blanket, he could feel the sand moving under his head’s weight but nothing touched his body or hers for that matter.

It was probably the most romantic they’ve been if he had to admit, after all…when was the last time he made love under the stars? The answer would be never. “You know,” he begins, “I was thinking about this for a while.”

“Hm?”

“Outdoor stuff.” he mutters, still caressing her back, “I was thinking of doing this while we camp or something, now that I know you like stuff like this,I think we should enjoy the possibilities.”

Beatrice lifts her head from his shoulder to have a better look,holding herself up by folding her arms on the blanket, “We did plan on hiking and going camping.” he nods, “...well…should we keep the idea for the near future?”

He just chuckles, rubbing her chin with his thumb, brushing it over her lower lip, “I think so…fuck you are so beautiful.”

Beatrice smiles more, her eyes doing an almost perfect half moon shape when he says that, even if she was no longer sweating there was a beautiful sheen that made her look like she was covered in glitter. She kissed the pad of his thumb when he used it to brush over her mouth, leaning into his palm when he touched her cheek, “You are still planning on making me blush,huh?”

“Always,gorgeous.” he says, “There’s no better feeling.”

She laughs quietly, dropping back down against his shoulder, drawing random shapes on his chest as she inhales the mix of cologne and sex clinging to his skin, “You know.” he hums, signaling he was paying attention, “I never shared stuff like this with anyone…well,maybe Shells sometimes but…I don’t know,I felt weird saying it.”

“Because you felt people would judge you?”

“Yeah.” she whispers, “As you know I’m not…experienced. So most of the things I know I saw in movies or books…or fics online, so when this idea popped up I just kept it hidden deep inside of me…but you help me deal with those thoughts.” he gave her a knowing smirk, one that made Beatrice scoff, “Not like that. I mean you make me feel safe sharing them with you.”

If there was one compliment he was never tired of hearing was how Bea felt safe around him. “You know, I feel the same about you,gorgeous.” he kisses her forehead, “Because there are things I never shared with anyone either…I guess I wasn’t comfortable just as you were.”

Beatrice smiles again, leaning down to kiss him only for her phone to buzz. She sighs into his mouth, pushing herself upwards with an apologetic smile, “I think that’s our cue to leave.”

“Yeah,I guess so,” he grunts, pushing himself to a sitting position as she leans forward to grab her phone, blowing some grains of sand that stuck to the TMNT phone case before checking the messages, “I’ll get our clothes.” he says, rolling on his stomach and stretching his arm enough for it to reach the handle of the basket, pulling it towards him so he could grab the balled up clothes inside.

He carefully placed her dress first next to her, then grabbed his own pants and underwear, followed by his shirt, “My mom said Nicole is watching tv.”

“Yeah? What sort of kid shows are on this time of night?”

“Oh,none.” she smiles, “She is watching some Disney Classics, like Robin Hood.” Beatrice places the phone aside to grab her dress, quickly slipping it over her shoulders and down her arms, before she rummaged in the basket and pulled out a small black bag that he was sure only contained their napkins…but he shouldn’t be surprised when she pulled out a pair of panties from inside.

“So you had everything planned.”

Beatrice giggles, standing to her feet to put on the red panties, letting the elastic snap against her hips, wriggling a bit to get it snug against her ass, “I did.” she says, “I had to. I wasn’t going to my parents’ house completely commando.”

He laughs, putting on his underwear and pants, “Fair.” he stands up to put on his shirt, running his hand through his hair as it passes through the collar, “That’d be strange.”

“You’d love it.”

“I would love it.” he agrees with a smirk, “But the situation…wouldn’t be the best.”

They shared another laugh as they cleaned everything up, making sure to leave absolutely nothing in the sand as they left - Bea even turned on her flashlight to check if there were any trash left behind, picking up even pieces of paper that weren’t theirs - before they made their way to the car.

As she placed the basket in the passenger seat, she slapped her forehead, “Oh no! The dessert!” she hurriedly opened to check, the squeak of a styrofoam box opening making him look her way and stop walking to the driver’s door, “Oh…oh it’s okay, oh thank goodness.” he stepped behind her to see what it was seeing that Beatrice was almost crouched with relief.

“...is that…” he blinks, “Mr.Scoops’ logo?”

“Yeah.”

“You got us ice cream?”

“It’s not ice cream.” she begins, “It’s an ice cream cake with hazelnut brittle and belgian chocolate. Thank God it’s still intact.” and he muttered ‘that’s just ice cream.’ as Beatrice slowly turned around to give him a playful glare, “Keep doing that and you won’t get a piece.”

“What? Hey,come on.”

Beatrice giggles, his pout happens so naturally she wasn’t even sure if he was aware of it. She wraps her arms around his neck, meeting that pretty pout of his with her lips and smiling against his mouth, “I’m not that evil.” she whispers, “Now come on, we have to go before my parents set out a search party for us.”

Bradley kisses her one more time, taps her ass and then they enter the car, making their way over to the Schiavonis to pick Nicole up.

-

After they got Nikki they slept like a rock, there was no need to stay awake since it was also past their daughter’s bedtime. They were so tired that the night went by a flash, with Rooster waking her up with kisses to her neck and shoulders, making Beatrice smile with her cheeks flushed red, “Morning,gorgeous.”

“Mmmm,it is.” she giggles, rolling around to see his face, “How did you sleep?”

“Great.” he says, “Even better because I can still smell the ocean air  on your skin.”

She just smiles more, cupping his face with her hands to kiss his lips repeatedly,”Can you check on Nikki? I’m going to prepare our breakfast.” She,amazingly,manages to get out of the bed without Rooster trapping her with his arms. He just smirks at her, following the sway of her hips as she walks to the bathroom, fixing the underside of her panties much for his absolute adoration, “What are we having for breakfast?”

“I don’t know,” she says from the bathroom,”What do you want?”

“I can make us some pancakes.” he shrugs even though she couldn’t see it, “To celebrate.”

Beatrice just laughs again, peeking her head out of the bathroom, “You drive a hard bargain, but I wouldn’t mind.”

Rooster pushes himself off the bed,kicking the covers and running his hands through his hair to calm the sandy brown strands down, then walks into the bathroom to hug her from behind and kiss her cheek repeatedly, “Just because I can’t get enough of you.” one final peck to finalize his words and he steps away towards Nicole’s room.

He feels amazing, if there was any way to describe how he was feeling was ‘stepping on clouds’. He stretches his arms above his head, smiling when the joints popped, sighing in pleasure and pain when he feels the scratches from Beatrice’s nails sting as he lifts his arms, “Battle scars.” he tells himself, walking into Nicole’s nursery to see his daughter was sitting up.

“Oh my God! Hi pretty!” Nicole smiles at him, gurgling a laugh, “Hi! You are sitting on your own? Oh my Gosh,I didn’t even think that was possible yet?” she was four years old though,he remembered, there was a chance she’d do this according to some books he read. Eleanor and Jack both climbed out from under the crib to stretch themselves, standing besides Rooster as he picks Nicole up, “Hi baby,hi,” he kisses his daughter’s cheek, then playfully sniffs her neck, making her laugh even more, “Come on,let’s get cleaned up to have breakfast! Are you excited?”

Nicole lets out a shriek-like laugh while shaking her closed fists, cheeks turning rosy and green eyes appearing blue because of the morning light peeking through the curtains. He was humming all the way he was changing her, his humor was so good he knew there wasn’t anything that would put it down, “There you go.” he smiles, kissing her cheek one more time, “All clean and ready for the day,Birdie.”

She smiles that gummy grin that had such a hold on his heart it made him weak. Beatrice was already downstairs, he could hear her messing around with something in the kitchen, “Oh,mommy is up, let’s go greet her, yeah?” Nicole babbled back,almost as if she said ‘yes’, before hugging his neck to put her head on his shoulder.

“My favorite girls in the same room,” he says once he gets close to Beatrice, “Aren’t I just so lucky?”

His wife smiled,kissing his lips and then picking Nicole from his arms, “You are very lucky…coffee is done, by the way.” she nods to the coffee maker, “And I’m going to feed Nikki over there, okay?”

“Sure gorgeous.”

Beatrice looked down at her daughter who was already looking up at her, cheeks red like little cherries and eyes bright, “Hi,Nikki,yeah we are going to have breakfast!”. Beatrice’s phone was face down on the table, knowing no one was going to message her this early in the morning but having it close was good in case someone did.

Aka Shells. Who loved calling her even before she was even half awake.

“What’s the plan today?” he asks, grabbing a few pots and pans from the cabinets, “You going to be at the bar later?”

“Yeah,I’ll help Penny and Shells clean it.” she says, adjusting Nicole in her arms so her daughter could have her breakfast comfortably, brushing her thumb on the side of her face, “Penny is considering hiring someone else.”

“Wait,really?”

“Mhm, at least for the days me and Shells aren’t able to go. Jimmy is fun but he can’t really come every time…so we might help around the new person, just so they know what to do.”

The sizzle of the fresh pancake batter on the pan, followed by his humming was the answer she got. She looked up at him with a smile, “Smells good.”

“Course it does.” he smirks, “Bradshaw Pancakes,gorgeous. The best you’d ever have.” and it was incredible how hearing that again after the time they’ve been together felt so cathartic. When he first cooked her the pancakes they were just a few months into the relationship, never she’d imagine they’d keep the tradition…and now with a baby.

“What about you? What are your plans for today?”

He sighs, tapping the side of the spatula on the edge of the pan as he thinks, creating a little rhythm, “Sleep again, maybe.” he mumbles, “I really,really missed our bed.”

Beatrice laughs, tilting her head to the side in an almost ‘fair’ gesture, looking down at Nicole and gently holding her hand, “No gym today then?”

“Nope.” he chuckles, “I think I worked out enough last night.”

Beatrice gasps, covering Nicole’s ear with her brows furrowing, “Rooster!” he just gives her an innocent look and a shrug, but the obvious boyish grin on his face only makes it obvious he didn’t really worried too much, “...well, I’d want you to rest too, you just got home and…well,there are things to do. Halloween is in a few days! And the neighborhood has a lot of kids! So I need to go treat shopping.”

Beatrice rambled and he just watched her while flipping the pancakes, plating the ones already done - he knew she liked hers a bit more golden with a bit of crisp on the sides - and setting it in front of her, kissing her head, “Good idea,honey.”

It didn’t take long for him to join his girls on the table, sometimes ripping a piece of the fluffy pancake and tossing it to Jack who’d catch it in midair and sit back down hoping to get something else. Rooster then groans, rubbing his eyes, “Fuck…just remembered.”

‘What?”

He inhales tiredly,”I promised Mav I’d help him with his bike. It’s sputtering and coughing like an old man from the 1800’s.” he leans back on his seat, rubbing his eyes, “And I know if I don’t show up he’s going to come here and drag me out.”

Beatrice slowly chews her pancake, Rooster reaching for Nicole once she was done eating, gently patting her back so she’d burp, “It’s been a while since you saw him too.”

“I know.” he says, the gentle ‘thudding’ from his hand on Nicole’s back and his daughter’s quiet babbling added to the conversation, “And I promised him. I can’t back out.”

Beatrice holds her chin up with a hand,looking from him to Nicole, then back at him, “Why don’t you take Nikki?” she asks, seeing his brows furrow, “It’s been so long since Mav saw her too. You can take her there and set her on a safe spot.” she immediately added when his face scrunched into a worried frown, “It’s not like it’ll be that bad,right?”

“...I guess.” but he didn’t seem thrilled, “But I feel like Mav will leave me to work on the bike so he could ‘focus on Nikki’.” he air quoted with the hand burping Nicole, looking back when his daughter finally let it out, thankful for the fabric on his shoulder, “And you know how he is.”

His wife grinned, still holding her chin up, “I do…and I also know you. I know you’d want Nikki to experience different things, Roos…plus, she loves spending time with you, don’t you, honey?” Nicole lifts her head to gurgle a laugh, Beatrice cleans her face with the cloth on Bradley’s shoulder, “It’ll be fun!”

Bradley hums, lips pouting as he sinks a bit into his chair, “I’ll…think about it.”

“Plus…well,maybe there’ll be similarities that Mav will comment about.” he gives her a confused look, “Compare Nicole and you when you were a baby.”

“Oh no.”

“It’ll be really cute.”

“No,no. I’d rather step on glass.” she gives him an amused look, “Listen,I was a dumb kid…okay? I don’t want Nikki to get ideas.”

“She’s four months old,Brad!”

“So?” He holds Nicole tighter against him, “I’ve read that sometimes kids can mirror parents’ activities when they are older…I don’t want Nicole to climb trees and jump from the highest branch!” Beatrice widens her eyes at him with her mouth opening in surprise, “...it happened once.”

Beatrice shakes her head, standing up from the table to grab their empty plates - and the cloth from Bradley’s shoulder- to put everything in the sink, “You don’t have to worry about that because it’s very possible she won’t remember anything bad that Mav has to say about you.” she says, air quoting just like he did, “I think it’ll be fun…come on Roos. Nicole is old enough to learn things-”

“That reminds me, we need to buy those mind toys we saw online, they are very-” Beatrice crosses her arms and smiles, arching her brow at him, “I’m not trying to avoid the subject.”

“Really…then you won’t mind me telling Mav you’ll be taking Nikki with you.”

“There’s no need for that.”

Bea hums, “Right…then maybe we should ask Nikki.” Nicole looks up at her when she hears her name, smiling at her mother, “What do you think Nikki, do you wanna see grandpa Mav?” Nicole smiles more, eyes crinkling and her little hands moving excitedly, “Yeah! You love grandpa Mav, don’t you? And you miss him a lot!” her husband groans, throwing an ugly look over the shoulder towards her.

“That’s cheating.”

“It’s not.” she says, stepping closer to kiss Nicole’s forehead, “You know what’s going to happen? You two will have loads of fun!...Roos, these things will be important to Nicole, she won’t remember them but she’ll have the feeling inside.”

Rooster frowns, running his fingers over his mustache. It’s not like he didn’t like the idea, but…there were a lot of things there, what if she touches something? What if something just gets loose? What if she finds what a wrench is? What if she somehow presses a button? He looks down at Nikki only to see her head tilted towards him, her soft cheek on his shoulder and the precious little smile on her face…

Oh,he was so doomer.

“I swear,green eyed brunettes are my ruin.” he chuckles, sighing heavily, “Ugh…fine. I’m going to take her but Mav better not use her as an excuse to leave me there. You hear me,little missy?” he wags his finger to Nicole’s face, watching her eyes cross as she keeps it within her vision, “Your cute looks might be genetic but don’t use those pretty eyes on Mav. He won’t be carrying you all the time.”

Beatrice smiles from behind them, leaning down to kiss his cheek, “You are an amazing husband.” another kiss, “And an amazing dad…you’ll do great.”

“Thanks babe…” he smiles, “You are doing great too.” they kiss and Beatrice walks away, waving at Nicole one more time before she’s finally walking to the staircase, announcing she was going to take a shower. That left Rooster and Nicole…and the obvious hesitance of calling Mav and letting know they were coming.

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