#now that I’m done with school I can’t go on vacation because of the pandemic and I’ve been waiting to actually have a vacation since I

[literaticat]

you're the best. can i ask you why are responses to queries sooo slow? im and MG author and it seems forever to get a response...I would think that coming out of a pandemic editors would be hungry for new material.

I'm going to be as calm as I possibly can be because I know this is probably a sincerely meant question, and you may be new, and you haven't seen the year+ worth of discourse about agents and editors and what is happening in the pandemic within the book industry (and that despite lots of people "coming out of a pandemic", for us, these things are still very much ongoing!). A brief Pandemic Publishing history, from my perspective:

March 2020. We realize that the "pandemic" is officially happening. The Bologna Book Fair is cancelled, travel is cancelled, everyone has to work from home, it's confusing, schools are closed, nobody has child-care. We expect this to last a couple of weeks.

April 2020. It does NOT last "a couple of weeks." Now just for background -- publishing is already an extremely slow process with a lot of lead time - like, we are currently selling/acquiring books for 2023/24 publication. So that means that when all this hit, there were lots of projects in the pipeline already, things that were in various stages of progress and were delayed in Spring/early Summer 2020. They were delayed at that time bc of the combined factors of: the pandemic shutting down everyone's office, not to mention schools, libraries and bookstores, which meant no place to SELL books -- PLUS there are layoffs -- PLUS there are printing/shipping/supply chain issues meaning problematic to make or ship books -- NOT TO MENTION, people getting sick and dying all over NYC, which is where most of US publishing is headquartered.

Early Summer 2020. Shaken, but rallying, all editors and the entirety of publishing are now getting used to working from home. There is a huge learning curve here -- publishing is very much a "face-to-face meetings" and "paper trail" kind of industry and *nothing* about the office life was really set up for remote work. (Most publishers didn't even used to allow DocuSign for contracts, we had to send multiple hard copies all over the country before the pandemic!) -- People learned how to work zoom, and did meetings virtually. They quickly realized that electronic contracts and payments are a blessing.

Now, there are still problems -- like, editors having to work from tiny flats with their children crawling all over them, and designers having to be at the kitchen table instead of, like, a whole studio with the proper lighting and every kind of material available, and contracts people having no files at their fingertips -- but hey, everyone is muddling through.

Of course - bookstores and the like are still closed, and there are still big supply chain issues - and that's a HUGE problem for the actual publication part. But on the agent/editor side, we are all working on future books, so that work simply has to continue, or there won't be any books two years from now!

Summer/Fall 2020. Everyone is absolutely scrambling like mad to do all the work that didn't get done in Spring. There is now a backlog of projects in the pipeline, but OK. Everyone is feeling quite literally traumatized by the things that have gone on, but OK. Some people are still recovering from having gotten sick themselves, or are mourning family lost to the disease. But OK.

This time is as busy as I have ever seen it, for everyone - pretty much a non-stop whirlwind of work. (Both because of the things that didn't get done before AND the fact that nobody can travel or do anything else!) -- There is also, to be honest, a lot of crying. We all desperately need a vacation, and it shows.

Winter 2020/2021. Now mind you -- Aside from that very very rough few months at the beginning, which was just a very confusing time -- books WERE coming out, and WE WERE ALL WORKING, selling, acquiring, creating new books. All of our authors were ALSO working and creating new books. MORE, in fact, because a lot of them were at home for the first time in a long time! But remember -- there's already a backlog, right? So, ALL of these new projects have been slowed/delayed both because of the pandemic, and the backlog of already existing projects, creating a larger backlog of existing projects. At this point we are running on fumes.

Spring/Summer 2021. We are slowly coming out of pandemic pandemonium in personal lives. People are getting vaccinated. It's great. Some people might actually get to go on vacation! Amazing! But it's not actually "normal" yet in publishing-world, because again, there's still that backlog, and everyone is STILL working from home, which is ok, but honestly, still makes things slower for a number of reasons, and look, everyone is just exhausted, okay? It's been a lot.

So anyway that's, in a ginormous nutshell, why you might find that editors and agents are not quite as "hungry" as you might want us to be coming out of a pandemic. IDK. We are just people, my friend.

ETA: I realized that this explainer was JUST pertaining to burnout because of what was happening IN-OFFICE. Combine ALL of this with what was happening in the real world -- like, for example, the horrific brutality against George Floyd and others, and the subsequent intense social justice rallying in Summer 2020 and beyond -- climate disasters, like California being ON FIRE -- a lot of *spicy drama* in the book world -- and A GINORMOUS FLIPPING PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION... yeah omg. I think there could literally be a book about this, but I can't write it or read it tbh.

ETA x 2: (AND I didn't even touch on the fact that a huge problem for everyone I know was A LACK OF ABILITY TO READ during the worst of this! Which as you can imagine is a huge problem for somebody whose job involves READING BOOKS. I mean seriously there were MONTHS where I could not get through a single book, and I know for a fact I'm not alone. I'm JUST getting the ability back and I'm still scared.)

[creativeashproductions]

Suddenly Stuck With You // Charlie Gillespie

Summary: Twenty-one years ago Owen Patrick Joyner was born into a life with a bright future and career bringing him two best friends. His best friends Charlie and Jeremy drag the blonde actor to Vegas to celebrate his first legal drink in America. What was supposed to be a weekend for the boys quickly changed all because a certain Canadian met a girl and drank a ton. Now they have to deal with the consequences of their actions.

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol, allusion to sex, heartbreak, angst and fluff

Words: 7.1k

A/N: Originally this was going to be a mini series but I can’t be bothered to stretch out this idea. I’m sorry, I just feel like this is shit already and I haven’t felt that happy with my writing lately.

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX/ASK PLEASE!

Masterlist

Fox and Hound Pub, Las Vegas July 2021

“Happy birthday man!” The voice of his castmate, work roommate and best friend announced.

Owen’s eyes found Charlie’s glittering viridescent eyes meeting Owen’s bright blue.

“Why did we have to celebrate my twenty-first in Las Vegas, Charlie?” Owen questioned with one hand, cupped around his first legal drink in America. 

Owen had had his fair share of beers in his life both in America and his visits in Germany after he turned sixteen. Charlie and Jeremy had been the ones to drag the actor to Vegas to celebrate. Owen didn’t see the significance of celebrating in a different state than Los Angeles.

“C’mon! You’re twenty-one!” Charlie exclaimed pushing a beer across the table in the bar they had found. Relatively lowkey the boys hadn’t been stopped for pictures by JATP fans thankfully.

Owen nabbed the mug from Charlie’s calloused hand to take a swig of the drink to Charlie’s delight with a sigh. The tall actor scanning the moderately filled bar, the world was coming back to terms after the pandemic officially ended.

“There you go!” The Canadian adventurer spoke nodding his head to the live music a local band was playing.

Owen’s eyes found someone he recognized from a show on the History Channel his dad was incredibly into for several years. Two men sat in a booth next to the bar with food in front of them with the dark-haired one wearing a shirt with a logo. It was hard to make out, but he believed it was for a famous pawn shop in Vegas.

“Drink up. I got the tab tonight.” Charlie informed his distracted best friend, “This is gonna be an incredible year. Shooting for season two with the gang back together.”

“Hey, sorry about that. Care and I had a scheduled live on Insta to do. Happy birthday, man.” Jeremy sat in the booth next to Charlie, still living on the high of seeing his wife.

“This is gonna be a trip to remember,” Charlie announced tapping mugs with his two fellow castmates and best friends.

Oh, how right Charlie was.

Your best friend lifted the wineglass to her red lips with a mischievous look in her eye that concerned you as usual. Cherry, nicknamed for her fierce love of cherries, had a wild streak that had mellowed after graduating college last year. Cherry had invited you to stay with her for a month to recover from a devastating loss. The offer hadn’t entirely left her lips before you bought a plane ticket from Heathrow Airport in England to Las Vegas.

You had met Cherry in your teens through an exchange program set up between your schools a few years back. Even since you two met at sixteen, you had been best friends and unable to get rid of the other.

“Why are we here?” You asked, tapping a manicured nail freshly done at a spa courtesy of Cherry. Of course Cherry chose a shade of red as per usual while you had chosen a traditional white tip French Manicure.

“I know the breakup was tough, but you need to let loose.” Cherry’s hand reached over to squeeze yours. The sympathetic smile irritating you for god knows what number of time it was.

Averting your eyes, you found yourself scanning the pub with barely any attention but you wanted to escape the warm amber brown of your friend. You loved Cherry, but you wanted to mourn the loss of your relationship within your own time and way.

“I need another drink!” You called over the loud music before pushing away from the table to head to the bar.

Ordering your favourite drink, you leaned against the dark wood with your arms crossed and a faraway gaze. Unaware of the man waiting next to you for his own drink.

“Hey!” The male spoke, bringing your attention to his soft hazel gaze.

Your e/c eyes finding the man speaking with a kind and absolutely breathtaking smile framed by the scruff his face sported. Facial hair sometimes turned you off if it wasn’t worn styled for the individual. This guy, however, pulled it off with the brunette moustache matching the medium-length head of hair.

“Hi.” You softly replied gracefully grabbing the drink when the barkeep set it down before hustling down the counter to another customer, “Am I in your way?”

“No. I already got my drink. You looked lost, and I saw the bartender coming. I didn’t want anyone slipping you something.”

“Thank you…”

“Charlie.” The man spoke, holding out his hand to you with his smile still on his cheerful expression. Your hand slid into his warm grip.

“Y/N.”

You and Charlie retreated to an empty table deep in conversation with such ease it felt like you had known each other for years. You learnt he was living in LA, but originally from Canada, a province called New Brunswick.

Charlie was enthralled as you told him how you had been born and raised in America for the first ten years of your life. After age ten, you moved to England for your mom’s job offer and settled in your father’s childhood hometown; he was originally from England but met your mother on vacation in California.

While you conversed, Cherry found you entirely focused on the male with an expression she hadn’t seen in ages. Her eyes floated by to you periodically for your safety until you sent her a text.

You: Sorry, I ditched you. I got caught up talking with Charlie.

Cherry sent a response back before paying your tabs and heading to her apartment a few blocks away from Fox and Hound Pub. Her heart was excited for how the night would pan out because the sexual tension could be felt across the duo’s room. She was confident you wouldn’t make any stupid decisions.

Oh, how wrong she was.

A hiss preceded the deep groan as a group of construction workers pounded away in your skull painfully. The back of your eyelids painted red from the sunlight pouring into the room from the open blinds.

Scrubbing one hand over your eyes, you slowly sat up with a satisfying stretch after a well-rested sleep. The cool air from the air conditioner raising goosebumps on your bare skin…wait a minute bare skin? The slightest sound of the sheet rustling together, freezing you in place. Firstly, you glanced down at your bare chest before sliding your eyes over to the left of the bed.

Eyes equally large the man from last night, Charlie, cried out when he sat up too quickly. The sheets pooled around his bare waist.

“Okay. Definitely didn’t wake up in my own bed.” You muttered leaning over to find your abandoned shirt on the floor.

Pulling it on despite the stare from Charlie’s hazel eyes, you scoured the room for the rest of your clothes. The room was silent as Charlie slid on his clothing like you did before you stood covered up in the hotel room.

“So, obviously, we slept together. Do you remember if we used-“Charlie started to ask. Your mouth opening to end his sentence.

“I’m on the pill. We used a condom.” You informed him equally as relieved you hadn’t made a stupid decision, “Thankfully even fully sloshed we used protection. We didn’t make a stupid decision.”

At least you hooked up with a really nice guy instead of a scummy guy only in it for his own pleasure and disregarding yours. Vague memories from the night in the sheets swayed you into believing the charming man was more of a giver than a receiver.

Charlie’s mouth opened he felt a new weight barely discernable, but he felt it, “Uh…guess again.”

Eyes furrowing you found the ring on his finger with shame, “Oh my god, you’re married?!”

Holy shit, you slept with a married man. You’re a homewrecker you thought to yourself getting further worked up. What if this guy had kids. Not noticing your feet had started pacing the room.

“I wasn’t yesterday morning.” Charlie faltered keeping his eyes on the cheap ring he definitely hadn’t been wearing yesterday. His eyes moving to look at the matching wedding band on your left hand, bringing you attention to it as well.

“Well, fuck.” The deep sigh guiding awareness from the male to the weary posture that came with the heartbreak.

When Cherry invited you to visit and take solace in your best friend, you never expected to wake up from a one night stand turned more. Tears built with the embarrassment of crying in front of his stranger that hadn’t asked for a morning with a hangover and a new wife.

“Whoa! Hey, we can get it annulled.” Charlie stuttered rushing over to draw you into his strong arms with such gentle care it melted your heart. The leftovers that hadn’t shattered to your toes from the failed relationship you escaped the UK for.

“This is a mess.” You sighed birthing an unintentional word vomit, “I left the UK to visit my best friend, Cherry. She brought me to the bar to cheer me up and instead of attempting the ‘to get over someone you have to get under someone’ I fuck that up as well. I get married.”

Charlie’s hazel gaze widened at the revelation, “You broke up with someone?”

“More cliché. He’s a rich frat boy in his fifth year of college, he’s brilliant but chose to stay for the frat house. He got a girl pregnant, and now he’s in a forced engagement.” The smile you hoped was strong came out wobbling, “Then he asked me to be his ‘official’ real relationship. An embellished way of being the secret girlfriend/mistress.”

Charlie winced, leaning back to stare down, “How long ago was this?”

“Around seven months? I kept it quiet for a while. No one knew until last month. I’ve gotten a lot of pity even if I’m over him but not the betrayal.�� Charlie whistled lowly with a nod and a particular look in his eyes.

“This is gonna come out of the left-field entirely, but what if we check out the laws on Vegas weddings? See if we fit the annulment or if we need a divorce? If we need a divorce, we can play it out to make his regret his decision and get everyone off your back?”

The refusal just about dropped from your tongue before something changed, “Let’s do it.”

As Charlie quickly get ready, he nabbed his phone from the charger by the bed before he slipped his hand in yours. He answered your confusion with the excuse of getting used to each other. Instead of fighting the blatant denial, you followed him to his rented car for the week to give him directions to Cherry’s apartment.

“So, what’s our story?” You asked the man, “We don’t know each other that well.”

“My full name is Charlie Jeffrey Gillespie. I’m Canadian but living in Los Angeles for work, I’m here for my best friend Owen’s twenty-first birthday with our other best friend, Jeremy. I’m twenty-two turning twenty-three in August.” Charlie spitfire navigating the streets of Vegas with practised ease.

“You already know my full name. I’m twenty-three as of a few months prior. You already know I moved from America to England over a decade ago.” The hesitation came from telling Charlie the career you had had since you turned twenty.

The topic of jobs was evaded as you learnt about each other’s likes and dislikes in a crash course to convince Cherry. Just as Charlie started to list his siblings, his phone rang through the car’s Bluetooth.

“I’m guessing that’s the Owen you came to Vegas with?” You questioned flicking your gaze between the Caller ID and your husband. God even thinking of having a husband was incredibly odd.

“Yeah. I have to answer.” Charlie’s exuded nerves with his fingers tapping the steering wheel, “Can you play along?”

He didn’t wait for an answer before clicking the accept.

“Dude, where are you? We were supposed to get food together? I have a wicked hangover.” The voice of this Owen spoke with a tinge of annoyance you only caught with your training.

“I met Y/N.” Charlie infused his voice with the nerves and a slight change to his voice that impressed you as he stepped into a set of shoes in his chest of roles.

“Who? Is that the girl from last night? The one you had that drinking challenge with?” Owen questioned from his side of the phone settled at a table with Jeremy nursing a coffee for his hangover.

“I haven’t told anyone, but after Jeremy’s wedding, it made me feel like I was missing something? I signed up for a dating app, and with filming, I forgot about it. About six months ago, I met someone, and we’ve constantly been talking.”

“That’s why you refused the blind dates from Sav and me? Not that you wanted to focus on work.” Jeremy interjected, “You should have told us, man. We wouldn’t judge you.”

“I know that, but we all blew up after the show. I just wanted to keep this between us until we knew for sure but guys…this girl is the One.” Charlie chuckled, shaking his head at the irony of already being married to you.

“We’re happy. So, did you want to take me to Vegas so you could meet her?” Owen questioned with a pit in his stomach of Charlie’s motives not being only for him.

“I’m in the car with her. She’s sending a few emails for work and blasting music. I can hear it from the driver’s seat.” Charlie joked to the boys with the lie slipping quickly, “Hey! Y/N, sweetheart.”

“Hm?” You interject with such ease, Charlie wondered if you were an actor as well. The practised and on beat performance, “Oh! Hi, sorry. I’m Y/n, you must be Owen and Jeremy? Charlie’s talked about you guys. Congratulations on your wedding Jeremy.”

“Oh. Thank you.” Jeremy lightly laughed, shaking his head at the voice coming from Owen’s phone on speaker.

“Happy birthday Owen. I wish I could have met you in person to wish you a happy birthday, but Charlie and I tend to forget to tell each other where our trips happen! It was such a shock to see him last night.” Just as Charlie had used affected nerves, you played up the loved up role, “My best friend and I almost chose a different pub than Fox and Hound.”

Owen and Jeremy’s grins grew at the genuine care in your voice as you continued speaking before Charlie interrupted you.

“Sweetheart I think they get it!” Charlie laughed with a glittering of stars in his eyes, “It was shocking to see Y/n in Las Vegas of all the 50 states. This week has been the best. Getting to bring my best friend to Vegas for his big twenty-one and meeting the love of my life in person?”

“Charlie’s dropping me off at my best friends. You’ll have him again in an hour. I hope you have a wonderful weekend Owen.” You finished unknowingly winning them over at the care in your voice and the happiness you brought out in Charlie.

Owen ended the call with a quick goodbye, leaving the rented car quiet between the new husband and wife.

“That went better than I expected.” Charlie admitted with a soft smile on his lips only to drop at your expression, “What?”

“Our next obstacle in convincing my best friend this relationship is real.”

“I’m sure it will go-“

“She’s an extremely successful criminal prosecutor who graduated high school a year early and fast-tracked through college.”

“Well, shit,” Charlie stated, leaning back in his seat as the entire situation hit him that he had married a stranger.

Charlie may be able to fool his friends but his family? His mother to be specific would immediately know what was up. The young Canadian had always been open on one day getting married surrounded by his family and have his parents there. Dropping this bomb on his family could only go one way: terrible.

“I’m a good actor. I’m sure we can convince her. We’ll get together with her tomor-“

“Unfortunately, I’m meeting with her in a few hours.” You revealed with a sheepish smile on your pretty features. Charlie could feel his heart drop in dread and fear at how the hand given wasn’t in his favour.

The drive was quiet as dread filled the two individuals as the distance was eaten up between the car and the apartment that housed an intelligent woman. Cherry Parker had only been working at the firm for a year with a clear future as a partner within ten years. Cherry with perfect grades in high school and high percentages in college and a perfect smile. A natural at finding people’s ticks she would be near impossible to deceive.

“We could turn around. Make an excuse to be introduced through the phone.” Charlie supplied, biting his lip, “Oh my god. She’s not gonna kill me, is she?”

“No.” You swiftly told the spiralling man, “She’d kill me and frame you.”

Maybe that wasn’t the best to calm the man down as he freaked out more, “Oh my god. What are we gonna do!?”

The apartment loomed as the car came to a stop outside just as the individual wearing seafoam green peacoat stepped to the entrance. Her blunt bob of caramel brown hair and unique earrings screaming that it was Cherry.

“That’s her.” You breathed as Charlie parallel parked in between a compact car and an SUV in front. Jerry, the doorman, waved with his beaming smile that reminded you of a jolly man just as he had since you had first visited Cherry in her apartment.

Jerry mumbled towards Cherry before she turned swiftly on her black pumps notorious to her work attire. Since her first year of law school, she had gone through two pairs and adored them with her new income.

The woman rushed over as your door opened with the help of Charlie, how you didn’t notice he had turned the car off and walked to your side, appalled you. The 5’8 male was shoved to the side as Cherry tugged you into her arms with a scathing glare at Charlie.

 “I don’t know who you are or how much you rocked her world, but it’s been hours. I thought you kidnapped her.” Cherry hissed at the male with her brown eyes flaring with anger that made both you and Charlie flinch.

“Whoa! We got stuck in traffic, and Charlie’s friend called.” Your hands raised in defence at the pointed glare now directed at you. The amber-brown eyes scanned your form and other than the apparent walk of shame appearance, you looked fine.

Cherry’s red lips parted for the usual questions she gave to all her friends after one-night stands. With a subtle shake of your head, Cherry tabled the questions for later before locking her eyes on the newcomer.

“Cherry Parker. And what’s the name of the guy that plastered a smile on her face?” Cherry questioned, holding out her hand to him.

“Charlie Gillespie. It’s nice to meet you.” Charlie replied with that charming smile that melted your heart. It didn’t appear to melt Cherry with the thick skin she developed first in her family and then as a lawyer.

“Likewise. Well, thank you for delivering her safe.” Cherry spoke hand, reaching for your own impatient for all the details she would demand. Her words failed when her amber gaze peered at the near-identical faces, “What did you do?”

The demand startled the two individuals before the attorney began ushering the duo in the building you had been staying at. Her red nail stabbing the golden-hued elevator surrounded by emerald green displaying a vintage colour scheme.

“Please tell me it’s not as bad as senior year?” Cherry pleaded massaging the bridge of her nose with her free hand. The other clenching her briefcase so tight the knuckles had turned bleach bone white.

“What happened senior year?” Charlie asked following the two best friends into a spacious apartment that could fit two of his in it. His hazel eyes catching the unspoken conversation between the two best friends.

“Not important.” Cherry sighed eyes, lowering to your fingers, “Of course. Vegas. You eloped. Jesus Y/N, you know how your family is.”

Catching the confusion from Charlie, you elaborated for Cherry, “My family is incredibly strict and old fashioned. Divorce isn’t accepted in my family for anything less than the most serious scenarios.”

“Drunk eloping in Vegas? Practically get prepared for silent judgemental stares from Nana and drowning disappointment.” Cherry sighed, pushing a strand of her caramel brown locks behind her ear.

“I have a plan for that. We can pretend to be married before amicably divorcing later. We can figure out the details for a reason later in future. We already started the ruse.” Charlie admitted seating himself at the island in the spacious kitchen his mother would dream of cooking in.

Charlie could already tell just how successful Cherry was with her apartment and her outfit that dripped money. Her kindness, however, set her on a different level to the people Charlie had encountered with the same dollar signs.

“Of course,” Cherry grumbled digging around for drinks. Charlie fully anticipated it to be some kind of fancy wine, but he was proven wrong.

Cherry had taken out two different kinds of beer from the fridge, along with cold mugs straight from the freezer.

“What just because I’m dolled up you think I drink strictly wine? I have that for my mother and sister when they visit.” Charlie barely caught the eyeroll at Cherry’s mention of her family as she turned to you.

“Besides, I’m my father’s daughter.” You cheered cracking open your choice into the mug with skilled ease. The foam perfectly dealt with it brought a smile to Charlie’s face.

“Okay, so this ruse. What did you do so far?”

“My friends think she and I met on a dating app seven months ago and coincidently ran into each other last night at the bar. We’ve kept it private because of my job-“

“-along with Y/N’s job.” Cherry simply spoke raising the rim of her mug to her lips, “Okay, there’s no way you’d sign up on an app after Harvey. So, I went behind your back and made one for you.”

“Then Charlie messaged me after I found out. It started off as apologizing that he chose my profile. It started a friendship that turned into a relationship.”

“We did Facetime dates before becoming exclusive, and you wanted to ensure it was something that would last longer than a fling.” Charlie inserted with a beaming grin as he felt into ease with the two girls before him.

“I think we got a story for you two. Just two rules: One, don’t go falling in love with each other and two, don’t get pregnant.” Cherry joked sitting in the barstool across from you and Charlie. Her red lips revealing white teeth, one tooth with a tiny chip out of it from high school.

The rest of the days’ Charlie was in Las Vegas he alternated between his friends and you with the odd time he invited you to dinner with them. There was such ease between Charlie and you that hadn’t be there even with your ex Harvey. Unfortunately, the time in Las Vegas dwindled down until you were dropping the boys off at the airport.

“I’ll call you when I get home.” Charlie mumbled in the earshot of his friends, “Whirlwind wedding-“

“Married.” Owen scoffed in disbelief once more having found out at dinner last night that included colourful words. Jeremy had been placed in silent shock seeing the real matching wedding bands.

“In a month, you’ll fly out to England to help me pack up the flat and then we’ll fly to see your family for your cousin’s wedding.” You finished for the man with a beaming grin that had steadily lost its fake appeal. It quite literally felt like you had known Charlie for longer than a few days.

“It was really nice meeting you. I hope Charlie can convince you to come visit my wife and me. You and Carolynn would hit it off.”

“Could I bring Bindi?” Owen joked as he tugged you into a hug as soon as Jeremy had released you. Charlie was quick to drag you back into his embrace, even adding a kiss to your forehead.

The airport speakers announced the second warning of their flight number boarding rather suddenly in which the trio frantically rushed. The feeling of your stomach dropped took you by surprise just as much as the manicured hand of Cherry.

 “You okay?” Cherry asked softly sliding her hand down your arm to clutch yours in hers. It was an act of comfort you both had done throughout your friendship, whether it be uncomfortable situations or heartbreak.

“I feel like I’ve known him years instead of days. Cherry, I think I’m in danger of falling for him.” You fully admitted turning your head to meet her concerned brown orbs.

“Sweetheart, you’ve never been good at doing no feelings.” Cherry replied with a squeeze of your hand, “He feels the same. Now we need you to get to your gate since you’re ditching me.”

“As much as I would adore staying here. I need to get back to England to finish packing my flat.” You informed Cherry with a small grin as her red lips parted in a gasp at your announcement.

You had temporarily relocated back to the US at eighteen when you were recruited into the CIA, and then you were sent to England for work. It was very under the cover, and Cherry knew the basics but not the entirety of your career.

“You’re coming back!” Cherry cheered grinning at what could be the best news of the week for the lawyer. No more fumbling of time zones and long distances between phone calls leading to relying on messaging.

“I am!” You beamed right back, “I’ll move to Washington for a year and then hopefully I can be transferred to Los Angeles. As much as I love Las Vegas, it isn’t the place I want to live.”

“It would make sense to move to LA since Charlie is there. You could even use the marriage being the reason you’re moving instead.” Cherry offered with her lips turned up, yet her brown eyes didn’t glitter.

Cherry missed having you around like back in high school. Living apart sucked for the two best friends but at least you would be in the same country. 

“This is insane. I still can’t believe I’m married.” You whispered, staring up at the high ceiling of the airport. You relied on your instincts to walk in the busy airport to your gate.

“I wasn’t even there.” Cherry snorted walking in complete sync until you both came to a stop at your gate. Her eyes saddened further after so many days spent together when she wasn’t working, “I’m gonna miss you.”

“Knowing my mother. She’ll be planning, and as she’ll say it, a real wedding for Charlie and I.”

Another lingering hug with the caramel brunette was the last for a while as more and more distance came between you. Metres changed to different continents within hours, and suddenly you felt more alone than ever.

The rain was drizzling in London, a welcome change to the blistering heat Vegas had given you in the days you had been there. However, the most welcome sight was the six-foot-one lean frame of your father leaning against his pride and joy. The bright metallic blue with two very wide vertical stripes up the hood of it had been a staple in your family since you were twenty.

The blue Shelby Cobra had been challenging to find, but it was worth the massive grin on Theodore Y/L/N’s face. You and your mother had joined forces with your uncles to get it for your Dad, and one of them was a mechanic that did most of the work.

“Dad!” You yelled, jumping into his arms. Dad’s grip tightened around your shoulders with his face smushed into your neck.

“Darling!” He exclaimed just as he did no matter how long it had been since you saw each other. You were closest with him from father-daughter days watching football (the European version of soccer).

“Mum at home?” You questioned as he placed the small amount of luggage in the tiny boot of the car. His e/c eyes, the ones you inherited from him, twinkled with mischief and a wink.

“You didn’t hear it from me, but there’s a surprise.” He spoke ushering you into the passenger seat on the left side of the car. It was still jarring driving on the opposite side of the road in America.

“Another one to sway me from moving to Washington?” You retorted to the tall male in the driver’s seat. At the mention of moving his smile dimmed like it did when you flew to see Cherry for a while.

As he drove down the streets, your eyes scoured his features as if it had been years instead of mere weeks. He had been in Germany for business for a week when you flew out to Las Vegas. His hair still had the dark locks with grey mixed throughout as if had been since he was in his late twenties. The laugh lines still the same as they had been previously, but the most important thing was that he was still healthy.

Ted Y/L/N had beaten a severe bout of sickness a few years ago that had taken months of recovery. It was just second nature to check him before anything else.

“How’s Cherry.”

“Living happily with her success story.” You piped up, finding it would be the perfect place to start planting Charlie’s existence. Your father glanced over slightly confused as you continued, “After Harvey, Cherry signed me up for a dating app. I hit it off with someone, and I’ve been dating them ever since.”

“A dating app.” He questioned glancing over, “Aren’t those what people use to sleep around? Nothing wrong with having sex but isn’t that what the apps are predominantly used for?”

Your lip was taken between your teeth, “Some of them are. The one that Cherry did was surprisingly more about human connection. He’s originally from Canada but moved to Los Angeles for work.”

“Hm.” Ted hummed keeping his entire focus on the road, “And are you okay with this so soon after-“

“I never acknowledged this, but I waited a few months before I told you that Harvey and I broke up. I hit it off with Charlie, and well I’ve never been so in love before.”

“I sense there’s a chapter in this new love that I’m not going to be thrilled about. Out with it.” He ordered momentarily glancing over to see you sheepishly grinning, “Are you preg-“

“I married Charlie-“

To both your father’s and your horror the sound of the Shelby’s tires screeching reached your ears. The car skidded to a stop in the middle of the street with yelps coming straight from your surprised mouth. Dad’s eyes blinking owlishly at the road.

“You’re married? To someone, I’ve never even met?” The question was croaked from the middle-aged man staring straight ahead. The car slowly moved down the road as Dad applied less pressure to the pedal.

“It was so fast, but I swear you’ll meet him. He’s flying out to help me pack, and we’ll fly out to Washington. You’ll love him.” You gushed ignoring the smart of guilt at lying to the first man that had ever truly loved you.

The father that had learnt how to do your hair and supported you in everything you did; for the first few years, he had been a stay at home dad. Your mother was the one that worked and then when you got to the right age, your father returned to work. He had taught you how to ride a bike and drive, the police didn’t need to know you were driving years before you legally could.

“Your Nan is going to be pissed.” He snorted, shaking his head, “You’ll be throwing him to the wolves at the reunion.”

The reunion you had completely forgotten about. Shit.

A month later brought Charlie to your small half-packed flat in London and then straight to your parents’ house in the country. The country home had been in your family for years before your parents moved out of the city full time.

“Okay. So, your five-year-old cousin is adamant he be called Agent Jack because he works for James Bond. Don’t mention football, which is soccer in the US, or else World War III between your Nan and great-aunt Dottie will happen.”

“Oh! My mom loves ice hockey! She grew up playing until she was in high school!” You gasped glancing over at Charlie in the passenger seat of the car. He’d arrived two days ago ahead of schedule to get rested for the reunion.

This morning he had spent longer getting ready with his hair meticulously styled and his clothes chosen to fit the weather and the event. No matter how much you had soothed him, the nerves still flared. This wasn’t meeting your SO’s parents, this meeting his wife’s family who had no clue about him.

“Do I call your Dad, Mr. Y/L/N or Sir?” Charlie questioned as the country zipped by in the clear window of the car. His fingers tapped the beat to the JATP song ‘Now or Never’ on the black denim of his jeans.

“Go with Sir.” You replied, reaching one hand over to grasp his in your hand, “My Nan will interrogate you about where we would have kids. Aunt Dottie will ask if you got me pregnant and that’s I’ve never said anything about us.”

“I…really? They’ll ask that?” Charlie choked turning to face you entirely with a face pale as bleached bone. The wince you offered was enough for him to relax into the leather of the car.

“Their old ladies that live on gossip and personal questions. But don’t underestimate Nan if she gets plastered and demands an arm wrestle. You won’t win.”

The car rolled to a stop on the rocky drive filled with other vehicles of all colours and types. The house was the background feature of the menagerie of cars. It was a gorgeous colour your mom had spent weeks trying to find in countless shops before she saw it three hours away. Flowers were strategically placed for viewing pleasure.

“Your house is beautiful.” Charlie breathed circling the car to open your door without prompt just it had become second nature to him. His hazel eyes moved across the parcel of land your parents owned.

Before your lips could even part to respond, you were attacked in a hug by two little pairs of arms. The sandy coloured hair, one set of curls hitting past their shoulders and the other a mop on his head. You knew immediately it was your little cousin Jack and his twin JJ from the strength of the hug.

“Y/N!” The twins squealed jumping in their spots as their father, your uncle Seth, corralled them. His eyes crinkled with the grin that matched your father and other uncles. It was the signature L/N smile your family carried.

“Hey! It’s Agent Jack and-“

“Doctor JJ! I’m Jack’s doctor!” JJ clapped her small hands together, displaying her cute little dimples. Charlie’s quiet awe melted your traitor heart entirely, “Is he your boyfriend?” 

The three adults’ all had a deep chuckle at her cute little scrunched nose as she saw Charlie’s hand grasp yours.

“Not exactly. You know how Dad and I are married?” Seth asked, crouching in front of his little girl. Her eyes blinked in confusion, “Y/N and Charlie are married. Y/N is his wife, and he’s Y/N’s husband.”

In his usual tornado-esque style, Jack had already taken off around the side of the house to the family gathered. JJ’s hand had slid into her father’s familiar grip.

“But Daddy you and Dad are husbands? How can they be married if she’s a girl?” JJ pouted with her green eyes twinkling in suspicion.

“Well, JJ. When two boys get married, they are husbands, if two girls get married, they are wives, but if a boy and girl get married, they become husband and wife. Or maybe depending on the genders they prefer to be called partners.” Seth told his little girl as his husband Fred rested his hand on his shoulder. While Seth was fair-haired and blue eyes, his husband Fred was the example of tall, dark and handsome with green eyes.

“Okay.” JJ simply spoke, skipping over to grab Charlie’s hand in her left and yours in her right. The little girl dragging you two in the direction her brother had disappeared around where the noise grew louder.

“Relax.” You whispered to the wide-eyed Canadian steadily becoming quieter and more nervous. As soon as you rounded the corner of the house, JJ released your hands to chase after Jack and your other cousins.

“You have a big family,” Charlie mumbled, looking over the adults and the young children set away. His eyes found your parents wrapped in each other’s arms talking with a woman confidently wearing the marks of time and wisdom, “You have your father’s smile.”

“I know.” You spoke tugging him to your parents, “Dad! Mum!”

The couple glanced over to see the man that had snuck into their family without a hint. Your father was quick to tug you in a bear hug with a resounding kiss on your forehead. Mum had yanked Charlie into a hug as well that relaxed him with the words she whispered in his ear.

“This is Charlie Gillespie. Charlie this is my mum and dad Theodore and Amelia.” You swiftly introduced the three people in your life.

It was tense for a moment before it melted away, “He’s a lot better than Harvey.”

“Ted!” Mum spoke slapping his arm, “It’s not his fault he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth-“

“-and a boob in his hand.” Dad chortled, dodging the slap from your mortified Mum. Her dark eyes wide open in shock, she really shouldn’t be surprised with your father, at how he had spoken.

Charlie’s lips parted in a strong of impish laughter bringing a grin to your little party’s faces. All the nerves from before melted from the Canadian as he found he fit in perfectly with your parents. His hand never felt yours the rest of the night, and with it, you wished you didn’t have to live with the ruse. You had fallen swiftly for the Canadian and wished this was marriage was real.

It wouldn’t be until Charlie, and you had devoured the food and two mugs of beer that the truth comes out in the upstairs bathroom. You couldn’t be sure who made the first move, but two hours upon arriving at the reunion Charlie had you pinned against the bathroom door. Lips moving against each other like you’d been made for each other.

“Mhm.” Charlie moaned, gripping your hips hard enough to leave bruises. The vision of seeing your bruises hips had a flutter in your stomach.

Heat rose from your stomach to your chest as your fingers slid into his once perfectly groomed hair. His lips parting yours with a warmth that washed over your entire body like the sun brushing skin after peeking behind a fluffy cloud. If Heaven was a feeling, this would be it.

Charlie’s hands slid under your shirt to rest on the warmth of your hips, a fire flared at his mere touch. He only parted from your lips at the sound of the floorboards outside the bathroom.

“Call me crazy, or the beer is making me say this. I’ve never felt this way for someone like I do for you,” Charlie whispered brushing your temple with his lips. The words created a shiver down your spine, “We have this connection and ease between us. I see you in the sunlight when I first wake up, and all I ever want to do is cuddle you close.”

“Char-“

“I know we’ve gone about this out of order, but I’d really like to be more than what we are. I want to be more than a guy making your ex regret hurting you. I want to be more than just your accidental husband. I want to do this the right way.”

“Me too.” You fully admitted, “Watching you geek out over my dad’s car with me. I want to keep seeing that. There’s something I’ve been keeping from you that I need to say before this goes further.”

“What’s wrong?” Charlie murmured cupping your cheeks in his warm hands. His hazel eyes lingered on your swollen lips that no doubt matched his own.

Your bright e/c eyes flickered between his hazel orbs with something he couldn’t quite decipher.

“If we do this, there are things I won’t be able to talk to you about when it comes to my job. It’s sensitive information, and no matter how much I trust you, I won’t be able to say anything. Charlie, the reason I’m moving to Washington is because I finished my tasks.”

Your hands moved around as you spoke to the silent Canadian just staring at you, “So what kept you in England for so long?”

“I work for the CIA. I have since I was recruited on a college campus a few years ago.” You revealed to the flabbergasted actor blinking rapidly. His mouth hung open, and his eyes widened more than you thought possible.

“So, we’re both in the business of deceit and pretending.” He grumbled, wrapping his arms around your shoulders, “I’m an actor by the way. It doesn’t matter what your job is, all I care about is trying to make this work.”

That was the moment that turned your relationship around, a year later, you had traditionally renewed your vows. Your wedding in the backyard of your parents’ house with friends and family watching as you walked down the aisle in your white wedding dress. Charlie waiting with the officiant unaware of the tiny gift of a little bean inside your belly growing.

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#charlie gillespie imagines #charlie gillespie fanfiction #charlie gillespie x reader #luke patterson imagines #jatp fanfic #charlie gillespie #charlie gillespie imagine #caitsy and ash productions

[theficplug]

l Sunflower Vol. 6 l Harry Styles l

Harry Styles x Black Reader

Warnings: none , pure fluff

[harry and reader feels like it’s just time to let the world know.]

As Harry was coming to an end of an era with the Fine Line album. Sunflower Vol. 6 was the last of the bunch to receive a visual to the groovy almost psychedelic track. 

You remember when the idea of the song came up. You had explained where your nickname Sunflower came from. 

-flashback-

He was sitting on the couch in your shared home with his guitar resting gently across his chest playing the same melody and humming sunflower to himself while watching the rain fall down heavily through the cracked window.

The slight breeze coming through blew his disheveled hair around. Harry had been up all night saying that he didn’t wanna forget the cords and the rhythm of the song that was still coming to him.

You quietly walked down the stairs to find him still up humming and tapping along to the beat as he tried to get into the groove. 

“I didn’t wake you, did I?” he asks quietly as he sits the guitar aside and opens his arms for you.

“No, but the cold giant you shaped empty spot in the bed did. Tea?” you ask chuckling softly before handing him the mug in your other hand and kissing the top of his head. 

You had also brought blankets with you and draped it over the both of you while settling onto his lap and resting your head on his shoulder. You watched as he instantly relaxed and settled back against it at the sound of your voice. Placing a gentle kiss to your forehead he accepts the pink mug.

“Thank you love.” he says quietly to you before trailing his hands up and down your leg gently as he takes small sips of the earl grey. 

“I love nights like this. It reminds me of growing up back home. My mama would yell at my dad and me for dancing around in the rain.”Don’t come in here asking me for vapor rub and soup when y’all are coughing up a storm”. She would say with her face all scrunched up. But we knew it was from a place of love because every time she’d end up running out to joining even if only for a few minutes and she had an umbrella. But the deal was that I couldn’t complain about being woken up at 5am to get the hot comb before school. She knew she couldn’t resist dancing to My Girl with us. To our neighbours who were always in our business we probably looked like a bunch of maniacs just laughing and being happy to love and be loved. ” you explained to him and he would chuckle softly and tell you about how he wished he knew you when you were kids.

 He swears that he would’ve known then that you were it for him.

“I was 6 years old when I got the name Sunflower. As usual it was my mother, father , and I sitting on the porch. I was just sitting eating sunflower seeds and staring out at the rain. Waiting for my father to set up the radio and put our favourite songs on. We ran out onto the grass and as he twirled me around. My father said to me “you’re my sunflower because you always grow towards the sun and bring such a light to our lives. Becoming your parents was the best day of our lives. Getting to see you grow is the small moments of magic in this life. That’s how I knew you were the one for me. Because he didn’t think anyone was good enough for me, but when he met you and you actually got him to laugh with you and say yes to proposing to me. I knew this was it.” you explain and laugh at his expression. 

“Bae, are you tearing up?” you ask as he leaned over to kiss all over his face then peck his lips. 

“I’ve just got something in my eye. That’s all. I just can’t wait to share how much I love you with the world. I want them to feel that when they listen to this album.” 

“And they will” you reassure him 

-present-

After over a year and a half of dating and being engaged you knew that it was time to share it with the world. There was only so much can take after 10 years of speculations. He was more than ready to tell everyone that there was only one woman he wanted to spend his life with. 

He’d like to have a meal with a childhood friend without him being painted as a cheater on someone he wasn’t even dating in the first place. 

A sigh of relief washed over you both when the video finally wrapped. You remember telling Harry that if you were going to be a part of this video you wanted the entire crew to be black or at least of colour. 

“Those are my rules , Harold. I wanna put my people on, and no offense baby  but can’t nobody white touch this fro. I haven’t let anyone besides my mother do my hair since I was a little girl. You got me? ” you expressed to him and he nodded because he had already had the idea in mind knowing he wanted to put his money where his mouth is with supporting black creatives.

He began searching social media for black hair stylists, videographers, directors , and everyone else that would be needed to get the project done. 

Now it’s less than 24 hours before the world would know about what has been sweetly yours for a little over a year. 

From what you could tell a lot of people assumed that his album was about exes or previous relationships but on the contrary he had actually written one song for closure about a past situation. The rest of the entire album was essentially about you,and how he fell in love with your kindness and how much he adored you. Some of the fans who listened closely picked up on the line in Adore You. ‘Your wonder under summer skies. Brown skin and lemon over ice’ . It was about the vacation you two took a few months before the pandemic right after he wrapped on his newest film. He swore that your mahogany skin glowed under the warm July sun and against the cerulean coverup. That man looked at you like someone told him that you were made out of pure gold. Thus sparking his first track on the album, Golden. You two were even papped together while on the beach with your families but of course most just assumed that you were a family friend. It seemed to be a trend when he’s photographed with a woman of colour before but he reassured you that he was single when he asked you on a date the day he met you at the farmers market. 

-flashback-

He tumbled over his words while trying to ask you about what kind of jam you would recommend for him to bring home to his mother.

“I’m gonna be at her home for the weekend and just thought that I’d bring a few things for breakfast while I’m there. Yours caught my eye. Are these little sunflowers all over the jars?” he asks as he bends down to inspect them. 

“Yeah , you like it? It’s kind of my brand. It’s been a bit of a slow day. I think it’s because it’s gonna rain. Never one to be scared of a little rain. I can tell that this is gonna taste far better than bringing home a jar of Nutella.” you say to him with a small smile on your face. 

After grabbing a plastic spoon for him to try out peach, strawberry, and cherry. He ended up purchasing several jars of all 3, but the cherry jam was his favourite and blushed the entire time you scooped the spoon in his mouth. 

“What’s it like to be so lonely like this? I feel like it would be difficult to not be able to be out with others because you don’t want them to have to go through all of this.I feel like even though someone’s “famous” you’ve got to at least treat people with kindness and some level of respect. ” you say to him as the people pushed their way over to your boutique once they realized who was standing there.

You didn’t even really know who he was because you hadn’t been into One Direction in their prime. So, you knew he was a big deal from the whispers and people walking up to him and asking him for pictures and practically offering him their entire supply. But you just knew him as the dorky slightly awkward and weird cutie standing in front of you in the giant sunhat and pearls that stuttered while trying to tell you about his time working in a bakery before they came over. 

“It’s alright. You kind of just learn to adapt to all of it after 10 years. . I worked there for like a year but we never had anything that tasted this good!” he admitted and you would giggle softly at the complement and give him your number on the receipt. You could see him doing a little shimmy while waving the number in the air. 

-present-

You think back to the conversation fondly before Harry’s low and soothing voice snapped you out of your thoughts as he peeks his head into the room to ask if you want to see the finished video.

You followed him to his little makeshift studio in your home and take a seat on his lap so that you both could see it.

Harry had come up with the concept of you being a sunflower and him being like a bee because he swore he was drawn to you from the first conversation you two had ever said.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his head on your side. He was already trying to hide his smile as the video started with you in a canary yellow dress that flowed over your body making you look like a sun goddess as you twirled with the sunflowers in your afro.

You soaked in the sun and swayed to the music before Harry came into focus. 

You remember that day his mother and your parents were on set because they were going to make a cameo at the end and both of your mothers had been behind the camera giving you both thumbs up and standing with their hands over their hearts the entire time. 

Harry dances across the screen dressed in bumblebee-esque colours with the black and yellow as he danced around you and you looked over at him wide eyed before moving away from him. You followed the script and continued to dance around to the music doing your own thing as he danced around you to get your attention. 

“You look so beautiful babe. Look at you! God damn I am a lucky bastard, aren’t I?” he says giddily laughing and smiling like a boy on the schoolyard with a crush. 

“Oh stop, but keep going.” you say jokingly as you pat his thigh softly. 

“I mean it. You could’ve gone on set just like this with no makeup and wearing this old shirt and looked like perfection itself.” he complements and it was your turn to break into a smile cause this man really was the sweetest little thing.

“Right back at you, sweet thing. I love how they cut your hair for the video. That was probably the best line up you’ve ever had. It was a game changer wasn’t it? You didn’t know black barbers are magicians.” you say giggling as you watch him prance around in the video in the yellow and black suit. 

It comes to the part of the video where your parents and his mother both walk into the shot and your father takes your hand and dance with you as the mothers dance together. 

Harry glides over to you and asks for your hand and your father puts yours in his. 

He twirls you around as the parents look on and you both show your engagement rings to the camera and smile up at each other. 

By the end of the video you and Harry blow a kiss at the camera before sharing a moment of pressing your forehead against his and the video ends.

You sniffle and dab at your eyes with a napkin from his desk and he turns to you before leaning into press kisses to your cheeks and lips.

“I love you and you know that there isn’t anyone else I would wanna tell the world about. It’s going to be just fine because I plan on making you happy for the rest of your life.” he reassures you and you nod before kissing his nose.

“What else can I say Harold? You went from being the awkward sweetheart that wrote me love letters and sung me to sleep when we couldn’t be together to someone I could not imagine life without. If people can’t see that there’s nothing but love and happiness here that’s their business. But this is ours.” you say to him knowing that it’s out of your element to feel so sappy but with him you just can’t help it.

The next day the video dropped along with the caption ‘it’s also our anniversary. So be kind or leave. All the love, H.’ 

The outpour of love and support from his fans and other celebrities was ridiculously overwhelming but well received as you made sure to make a small short follow up video thanking them for all of the love, well wishes, and compliments.

[ a little different for me but i hope you still enjoyed it to the lovely person who requested it !]

#harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles x reader #fanfic for black girls #fine line album

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Strangers (Part 4)

Summary: Sam has returned into Dean’s life for some reason and the reader is there to try and help Dean through having Sam around again...

Masterlist

Pairing: Doctor!Dean x patient!reader

Word Count: 2,000ish

Warnings: language, mention of surgery/injury

A/N: I hope you enjoy!

____

“Hi,” said Sam, giving you a quick wave. He stared at Dean who was already on his feet. “I need a place to crash for the night. If that’s okay.”

“What happened to the apartment, you were sharing with that girl, Jessica.”

“She died a few years ago,” he said.

“You kill her?” asked Dean. You got up, still holding your box of swiss rolls and Sam frowned. “You’ve been out of touch for three years. It’s not an unreasonable question.”

“I didn’t kill her,” said Sam. “I saw...it was a serial arsonist. I saw who did it and he ran with a bad group. I’ve been in witness-”

“Witness protection? Are you serious? I’m the fucking easter bunny while we’re at it,” said Dean.

“De, I think he’s telling the truth,” you said, nodding towards him. “He’s obviously upset.”

“You’ve been in witness protection? This whole time?”

“Yes,” said Sam. “Things have been happening lately. A lot of things. These guys are no longer a problem so I can come home. Except for the fact I don’t have a home anymore and had to drop out of college.”

“I filed a missing persons report on you.”

“I know.”

“I hung up flyers, search parties, fundraisers.”

“I know.”

“I drove to the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night because I thought I got a tip about you.”

“That was me. I had to relocate after that.”

“I looked for you for so long. Even when mom and dad gave up, I didn’t. There was no foul play but the cops told us it was unlikely we’d ever find you. You probably walked out and didn’t want to be found. I was so angry at you. They told us you were dead cause someone hurt you or you walked away. Those are two very different things,” said Dean. You dropped the box on the couch and grabbed his hand, Dean pinching his nose with his other. 

“I can leave if you want,” said Sam.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” said Dean. You rubbed his back and he walked over, giving his brother a hug.

“Finally got a girlfriend?” teased Sam as he returned it.

“You two are gonna get along great. You can swap stories,” laughed Dean. “Oh, I need a drink. Also how’d you get in my house?”

“My handler had a key made. They took it from your locker at the hospital,” he said.

“Lovely.”

“I know it sounds…” said Sam as he glanced at you. 

“Crazy is kind of our thing,” you said. “I’m Y/N.”

“You look familiar,” he said.

“My ex boyfriend tried to kill me. With bleach. In my drink.”

“Oh yeah. He was fucking nuts,” said Sam.

“Yup. That’s been our fun for the evening,” you said. “He got out. He’s dead now. It’s fine. Better than fine cause I’m gonna eat a whole box of swiss rolls and not feel bad about that.”

“Yeah, I will get along with you just fine,” said Sam, giving Dean a look. “Not sure about you though. I wanted to-”

“S’okay,” he said. “I’m just...happy you don’t hate me after all.”

“I wanted to call you so many times. It was too dangerous though. I couldn’t put you in that position,” said Sam.

“I’m getting kind of used to that,” said Dean. Sam smiled and you walked over to them both. 

“I crashed date night, didn’t I,” he said.

“Just a bit,” said Dean.

“Well I am really happy to meet Dean’s little brother,” you said, giving him a hug. “You don’t mind if Sam hangs out with us, right?”

“No, never. As long as you’re cool with it,” said Dean. 

“Of course,” you said.

“I appreciate it but honestly I’m wrecked. I could use with a shower and a bed,” said Sam.

“The guest room is right down the hall,” said Dean, pointing the way. “You hungry?”

“Nah. I’ll keep out of your guys hair,” said Sam. “Thanks.”

“It’s no problem,” said Dean. Sam started to head for the hallway when Dean grabbed his arm. “I’m really happy you’re home, Sammy.”

“Me too.”

He smiled before he left, Dean taking a deep breath as he locked up the front door again.

“So you got a brother,” you said.

“Yeah. I probably should have brought him up at some point,” said Dean. You shrugged and rested your hands on his hips, Dean smiling softly. “I thought he was dead.”

“I’m glad he’s not,” you said. “I’m gonna have to back out on the being roommates thing though.”

“What?” he asked.

“Sam needs it way more than I do. I can stick around my parents until my apartment is ready. Seriously, it’s okay. He’s gonna need a lot of help. Trust me. He’s gonna want you,” you said.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. My parents aren’t that bad. Someday we can be roommates though?” you said.

“Okay. I’ll take a raincheck for now,” he smiled. 

“Tonight’s not so bad,” you said. He nodded and you pulled him close to your body, Dean’s arms wrapping lazily around you. “You doing okay?”

“I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been in my life, the most terrified I’ve ever been in my life and the most relieved I’ve ever been in my life tonight. I honestly don’t know where to begin,” said Dean.

“I got a box of chocolate with your name on it that might be a good place to start.”

“That sounds like a good plan,” he said. “You okay too?”

“My night’s ending on a good note. I’m good Dean. Let’s get back to our date. I was in the middle of cuddling you if I remember.”

One Week Later

“Howdy handsome,” you said, the elevator doors at the hospital opening to Dean standing there in his navy scrubs.

“Gorgeous,” he said, giving you a quick kiss as he stepped on. “You already have your follow up with Mace?”

“Yeah. I am progressing well I guess. We’re switching my immunosuppressant to try something that doesn’t make me as tired and won’t make me as susceptible to illness,” you said.

“That’s good. I know you’re on the strong stuff right now. Mace is pretty good about finding the right med combo by the second or third try,” he said. “Transplant meds are tricky.”

“I’ve learned. How’s your day going?” you asked. “Saving lives?”

“Easy going day. Took out some tonsils on a teenager, did an appendectomy on a toddler, did a bone reset on a kid that broke her leg. Nothing they won’t all recover from 100% percent.”

“That sounds good,” you said. “When do you get off?”

He snickered and you whacked his arm.

“Such a boy,” you said.

“I have one more surgery for the day but I’m heading home after that. Our parents are coming into town. They’ve been in Florida cause their vacation plans got screwed up with the pandemic last year so they rescheduled and of course it’s this week and there’s tropical storms so they can’t get a flight out and they finally are getting home today. It’s been a nightmare. I’m supposed to cook dinner so that’ll go wonderfully.”

“You’re a good cook!” you said as the doors opened and you walked with him down the hall. “You don’t give yourself enough credit. They excited to see Sam?”

“Yeah. They feel bad about...they thought he was dead. Like it hasn’t been long enough to legally declare him that way but they were going to. I’ve always had a somewhat tense relationship with my dad. We fought a lot about Sam after he disappeared.”

“I think no matter what happened before, dinner’s gonna go good for you guys tonight,” you said.

“You’re coming right?” he asked. 

“You want me to?”

“Yeah. I...you make me feel...safe,” he said as he stopped walking. You smiled and grabbed his hand, lacing your fingers together. “You don’t have-”

“I’d love to. I really like Sam and I want to be there for you. I like that I make you feel safe, makes me feel good,” you said. He rubbed the back of his neck but you caught the smile on his face. You gave him another kiss, a whistle coming from further down the hall.

“Get a room, Winchester,” said a guy as he walked by with a laugh.

“Better be a soundproof room,” you said, the guy stopping in his tracks.

“Okay, I approve of this one,” the guy chuckled. Dean rolled his eyes but he was biting down a laugh.

“Y/N, this is RN. Lafetite or Benny as well call him. He’s Donna’s boyfriend,” said Dean.

“Oh yeah, she was great,” you said. “She removed my appendix.”

“That woman knows her way around a blade,” said Benny. “You had the digestive transplant done a while ago, right?”

“Yeah,” you said, Dean making a face beside you.

“Badass,” said Benny. “I worked with Mace some on you.”

“You’re a surgeon too?” you asked.

“No, no. I’m a surgical nurse,” he said.

“They’re pretty important,” said Dean. “The really good ones could perform minor surgeries themselves like Ben. I keep trying to convince Benny here to go to med school and join the rest of us.”

“Oh you know you’d miss me too much, Deano. You me and Novak are the dream team of pediatrics,” he said.

“Sure we are,” said Dean with a laugh. “Y/N and I were having a little get together on Sunday, watch a little football, food. Round up the usual suspects?”

“I can get the crew together. I’ll bring my beer dip and some of those pretzels. Very easy on the digestive system,” said Benny to you.

“That’s considerate,” you said. “It’s okay. I’m alright with most stuff. I just got to watch the grease a bit.”

“These are really not greasy at all. I’ll give you the recipe sometime,” said Benny as his phone went off. “I think we’re late for pre-op.”

“When are we not?” said Dean. “I’ll see you tonight, sweetheart.”

“See you later, Dean.”

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” said Dean that night as he rushed in the house. You and Sam were working the kitchen, Dean checking the clock. “They’re gonna be here in five minutes.”

“Go wash up. Sam and I can cook a few pieces of chicken and make mashed potatoes,” you said. You were nearly finished anyways, the chicken baking away in the oven. Dean made a thud down the hall but shouted back that he was fine before you heard the bathroom door shut. “He always been a worrier?”

“Pretty much,” said Sam as he got out the plates. “He seems different. Good different. More easy going.”

“It’s all I’ve ever known from him so I don’t have much to go off of,” you said. 

“You might have something to do with it,” he said. He smiled and finished up with setting the table. “You’ve never met our parents Dean said.”

“No. We’ve only been together a few months,” you said.

“This’ll be an interesting evening then,” said Sam as the doorbell rang. He suddenly looked nervous and you rubbed a hand up and down his back.

“It’ll be okay,” you said. “Trust me.”

“I see why he likes you,” said Sam. “Here goes nothing.”

______

A/N: Read Part 5 here!

#dean winchester #supernatural #spn #dean x reader #spn reader insert #supernatural reader insert #au #doctor!dean #spn fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester x reader

[foster-the-world]

Vacation

The girls and I met my Mom and Aunt in Anna Marie Island for a beach vacation. Covid numbers are terrible throughout Florida but we got a house with a pool so are mostly sticking to ourselves. We did do one day at SeaWorld - where almost everything is outside. It’s been really good. I generally plan a lot for vacation but hanging out pool side with a few beach days has felt like enough. I realized I love vacations so much because its one of the few times I don’t have a long ticker of errands, cleaning, etc, etc I need to get done. I don’t relax enough in my own home because I am constantly noticing things that I should clean or fix or call about. I had to do a few things here but can mostly hang out. 

I miss baby boy but it’s been much more relaxing and I’m glad we kept him on his normal schedule at home. I saw a a coin on the ground and was so happy I didn’t have to worry about him putting it in his mouth. It seems like he has been bonding well with my husband. He’s such a chill guy. He slept until 9 both weekend days. I’m sure it’s been a real break for my husband. The girls behavior has been great. A few, expected, tantrums but they can roll with the punches. They are thrilled to have the attention of my Mom and Aunt. I think we are finally over, whatever the year long tantrum that 3.5-4.5 pandemic living caused. I’m so happy to have my sweet girls back.

My Dad was supposed to come but my Grandma was put into hospice care. She’s 99 and more then ready to go. Her hearing/sight are not great and she’s been really lonely for years - despite my parents best attempts to take care of her. She still lives in the section of the assisted living home where she takes care of herself. They just came to clean a few days a week. She was as healthy as a horse - she didn’t take a single pill. Even now they can’t find anything wrong with her. She just started sleeping a lot after a routine UTI. She hasn’t eaten in seven days. I’m sure it’s stressful for my Dad but I am happy for my Grandma. She’s ready to go. 

I had my first day of nursing school orientation yesterday. Zoom makes it fairly anti-climatic but still nice to see some faces on the screen. Lots of questions about what white shoes we can wear - even though we don’t need them until October. We have to take a math test the first day of class. We have three chances to pass with a a 90% or better or we are out of school. I haven’t studied the materials enough to realize if I should be worried. I am so, so, so glad I powered through the two classes that they allow you to transfer in. My first semester will be 1000x easier. 

[artificialqueens]

Sunlight Through the Window (Sashea) - Mock-Star

Hi yes I know it’s been months since the AS5 finale but school and the pandemic kicked my ass plus this fic ran off in a different direction than I was planning. Also yes one particular scene may have been written because I’m mad at one of the frats at my school.

Set post Rona, Sasha tries to find a way to congratulate Shea on her win during a group trip.

This is cannon divergent, which means for me and my writing that the show happened but everyone is their drag personas. (so in this case she/her pronouns are used for both of them but the smut is written as MM if that makes since).

(Also for any new writers out there, SAVE EVERYTHING because this is also a frankenfic of 2 different abandoned wips along with the new writing)

Sasha was lounging in the bay window of her room in the rental house responding to a few last business emails when Shea snuck up beside her.

“I think they’re getting ready to start dinner because your help has been requested."

"Ok, I just need to finish this last email and then I’ll be done for the rest of vacation and I’ll come downstairs."

Shea smiled in confirmation, but Sasha could tell she had something else on her mind as she squatted down to hug her.

"Thank you for agreeing to come and room with me. It means a lot to me and I’m so glad to finally get to spend some time with you.”

“Thank you for asking me. I still feel bad that I wasn’t able to celebrate with you when you won last year."

"Baby, that was beyond your control. Miss Rona ruined a lot of plans. And plus you’re here now, and that’s all that matters.” Shea kissed her cheek, and Sasha leaned into it.

“For two whole weeks! I can’t believe all of us were actually able to clear out that much room in our schedules!”

“I know! We all definitely need it. I’ll see you downstairs.” Shea said as she stood up and walked out, closing the door behind her.

Sasha hit send on her last email and closed her laptop, then pulled out her phone and went to her messages with Shea.

*“Hey, can I ask you a question?”*

*“Sure. Is everything ok?”*

*“Oh yeah, everything’s fine. Some Chicago queens and I are planning on renting a beach house together now that it’s safe to do so. We need a few more people to get the best deal. Do you want to come with? We’d be sharing a room, but I think others are inviting other New York people.”*

*“Oh my god a beach vacation sounds amazing! Send me some potential dates and prices and I’ll see if I can manage it.”*

*“You’re the best! Sending now!”*

Sasha smiled as the conversation auto refreshed and took her to Shea’s newest message, a close up picture of one of their friends making a silly face. Running footsteps and laughter erupted from downstairs as Shea shrieked at the culprit to give her phone back through laughter.

Later that night, Sasha slipped away to charge her phone, laying down on her bed to send a quick text to a friend. She was more tired than she thought though, because she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, falling asleep in her clothes on top of the covers.

The dull ache of her knees after kneeling on the ground for an extended period of time.

The sharper ache of her jaw after working overtime.

The cramp in her hand after staying in the same position for a while.

The weight of the hard dick in her mouth, pushing dangerously against her gag reflex.

The salty taste of sweat and precum in her throat.

The clammy hands clutching her head.

The rocking of hips.

The whimpers and moans that filled the room .

Her name spilling from stuttering lips.

Nails digging into her scalp.

Eyes flickering up to see her partner losing it.

Eyes meeting, and Shea whispering her name as her crown flickered in the light.

“Sash… fuck babe.”

Sasha woke up with a start when she heard loud banging coming from outside, and she sat up enough to see bright colors peaking through the curtains.

“Fireworks?” She mumbled, trying to make sense of the situation in her groggy state, the details of her dream sticking in her mind.

“Must be the frat a few doors down.” Shea said, and Sasha turned her body enough to see Shea sitting up in the bed next to hers with a book and book light.

“What? How?"

"How do I know that it’s a frat? When those of us who checked us in went to go find main street we saw them in the front yard trying to raise a flag with their letters. I think it said "KA”. Shea answered her question before she could articulate it.

“Kappa…Alpha?"

"I wouldn’t know, either way they might end up catching these hands because they woke you up.” Shea’s answer made Sasha blush slightly, although she was too groggy to articulate why. She reached to adjust her glasses, only to find them missing. She turned towards the bedside table to find them there, next to her phone, still plugged in. It was at this point Sasha realized she was under the covers, tucked in around her legs, still fully dressed.

“It crossed my mind briefly to strip you down to your underwear, but your clothes weren’t visibly dirty, and I didn’t want you to freak out when you woke up.” Shea said, answering her next question. Even though she was tired, her mind latched on to the idea of Shea undressing her and picking her up and tucking her in, and she knew she had to push it out of her mind as she took off her pants under the covers and let them fall to the floor.

“What time is it?” She asked, and Shea reached for her phone to turn it on.

“3am. I’ve been awake since about 2:30 because I had to go to the bathroom and couldn’t go back to sleep.” Shea responded, answering her next question before she could ask it. “I’m going to try and go back to sleep after this chapter, but you should go back to sleep."

"I didn’t mean to actually fall asleep."  She said, head already on the pillow and drifting off.

"It’s ok, you needed it. I worry about you not getting enough sleep sometimes. Rest well Sasha, see you in the morning.” She said something else as well, but Sasha was already too drowsy to hear her. When she woke up in the morning, Shea was still asleep, and seeing her made her remember her dream and the groggy conversation she had with Shea, and a warmth went through her, obsessed with the idea.

Unlike what the fans might have thought (or wished for), there was no “winners orgy”, although it did sound fun-ish. Possibly even more shocking, she and Shea had never done anything more than kiss in the brief down moments during shows, soft enough so as to not mess up their makeup, more friendly and good luck wishes than anything. It wasn’t that they didn’t want to explore their mutual attraction, it was that it was never convenient. They certainly weren’t allowed during filming, and they rarely had time alone together without duties or other people in the way, if they were even in the same state. The attraction never went away though, so it didn’t surprise Sasha when a innocent enough cheek kiss lounging by the pool turned into a make out session in the bay window of their shared room the next night, the music and laughter of their fellow houseguests seeming both far away and too close for comfort.

Shea’s kisses were addictive, and with the red wine warmth running through her veins and the heat of the setting sun on her skin, Sasha was utterly seduced. A soft groan escaped despite her efforts to swallow it, and Shea chuckled, catching her off guard when the air tickled her lips. Shea slowly shifted both of them so that Sasha was on her back and Shea was kneeling above her, still kissing her the entire time while Sasha held on to  Shea’s shirt. She suddenly broke away, and Sasha pouted until Shea’s lips found her neck. Shea clearly had a plan in mind, and Sasha felt her hands slip underneath her shirt, which had already ridden up and exposed a small section of her stomach. Shea ducked down and pressed featherlight kisses against the exposed skin, rubbing Sasha’s sides with her thumbs, and she could have melted. Her face was flushed red, and she blinked away the tears that threatened to spill. It always surprised her how tenderly Shea treated her during those rare moments of intimacy. Those tight hugs that felt more protective and adoring than restrictive, always interrupted by other people or pressing duties. But this time, there was nothing to interrupt them. Even as Shea moved back up to her lips, the question hung in the air, and when Shea broke away to ask it out loud, her yes came instantly and easily. Shea picked her up and walked to the closest bed, making it to the end of the bed before lowering her onto it.

Her thighs were pressed into her stomach as the warmth of the dusk sun warmed her face almost uncomfortably. Attempts to touch herself were taken over by Shea after she observed Sasha’s movements to mimic them. The intimacy was overwhelming, and after the passion, the tears finally came, after Shea had rejoined her and laid down beside her. She rarely cried after sex, but the tears didn’t stop, silently streaking her face, cooling her flushed skin. She didn’t know if it was because of the sexual tension finally being resolved, because it had been so long since she last got laid, or simply her body trying to regulate itself, but Shea seemed to understand regardless, rubbing Sasha’s head as ot  blissfully watched the sky finally go black.

The next morning, Sasha rolled out of bed, shivered, pulled on the closest shirt she found, and groggily stumbled to the bathroom, thankfully for the small nightlight that meant she didn’t have to turn on the actual lights. As she was washing her hands, she looked up at the mirror to check her reflection, and she gasped. In the low visibility of the bedroom, she had grabbed Shea’s shirt by mistake. For some reason, it seemed large on her even though they were roughly the same size, and she was trying to think of why Shea’s shirt would be on the ground near her bed before she remembered. She moved the collar of the shirt over a few inches to reveal the mouth-shaped bruise that had blossomed overnight. She peeked out the door to see that the sheets on the bed closest to the window, her bed, were suspiciously rumpled up, even hours later. The bed closest to the door had the sheets pulled back on one side, and Shea asleep on the other.

She pressed on the bruise on her neck with her thumb, and the ache that left it made her aware of all the aches in her body, ones that were clearly post-sex aches.

Post-sex.

“*Shea and I fucked last night. I wanted to. I enjoyed myself. I want to have sex with her again*"

The realization was not a hard one. But the thought was an epiphany nonetheless, and she felt a wave of relief wash over her, almost laughing as she leaned against the wall and soaked everything in.

She crept out of the bathroom, trying not to wake Shea up, but she seemed to be expecting her, turning towards her and slowly blinking, as if trying to adjust to the growing morning light coming from the window.

"Mornin’ cutie.” She whispered, biting her lip while Sasha awkwardly apologized for waking her up, but Shea chose to ignore it.

“I love the way you look in my clothes.” Shea cooed, and Sasha felt her cheeks go hot as Shea made no effort to hide her eyes trailing up and down Sasha’s body.

“What, no but?"

"Yours"

"Ok yeah I walked into that one.” Sasha chuckled, climbing back into bed next to Shea and letting her take the shirt back off and toss it on the ground when she asked. They stayed in bed until they heard others downstairs cooking breakfast, cuddling and kissing, Sasha blushing when Shea rolled her onto her back and kissed her from her shoulders to just above her groin before she let Sasha get up.

Sasha never thought she had a particularly high sex drive, but over the next few days, it was if a wildfire was inside her. No matter how long she and Shea spent in their room together, she was never satiated. Their bodies were like magnets, pulling together, desperately wanting to make up time. Their housemates only chuckled when they went into their room together. Admittedly, they did turn in earlier than everyone else more than one night, which they brushed off on being tired, which no one bought.

As the first week progressed, conversations turned towards Shea’s win multiple times, and each time, someone joked with Sasha about “congratulating” Shea, which was always met with laughter and Shea telling the person to “fuck off” while laughing herself. Sasha laughed too, but every time someone made the joke, the dream she had the first night played in her head, and she ached with the thought of kneeling in front of Shea, taking control of her pleasure.

Towards the end of the week, Sasha walked into the room to the sound of running water, Shea was taking a shower and had left the door open, something the both of them had gotten into the habit of doing so the other could get ready or use the restroom at the same time. The thought of getting in the shower with Shea entered Sasha’s mind, and she impulsively stripped down and slipped into the shower. She wasn’t entirely sure what her plan was, but all she could think about was her dream and making it come true. Shea turned towards her with a surprised look that quickly turned into a smile.

“Hey baby.” She cooed as she pulled Sasha closer to let the water douse her before Sasha could move closer herself. She wrapped her arms around her waist and squeezed her ass. Her charm was on 100, and Sasha almost forgot why she was in there in the first place. Pulling away slightly, she sank to her knees in front of her. She batted her eyes and bit her lip while she rubbed Shea’s legs up and down. Shea’s eyes went from confused and worried to recognition, and she smiled.

“Oh, that’s what you want, huh?” Sasha nodded, and Shea gently cupped her chin and tilted her head up more.

“Let’s go on the bed, okay baby? It’ll be more comfortable for both of us.” Sasha nodded, standing up and moving to get out, but Shea grabbed her arm.

“In a little bit…” she purred, pulling Sasha back towards her and gently pressing their lips together, finding Sasha’s ass again. Sasha could taste the booze on Shea’s lips and sense her exhilaration. She could feel a newly familiar warmth beginning to pool in her stomach, but she forced herself to ignore it, wanting tonight to be about Shea.

She began rubbing Shea’s sides in an attempt to be seductive. Shea gently nipped at her bottom lip, which Sasha took as approval.

“I’m still topping.” Shea mumbled. “Nice try though.”

Sasha choked, and Shea pulled away just enough to smirk at her as she patted her back to help her clear it.

“You ain’t slick, baby. You’ve never tried to take charge like this before. It’s super cute to see you try though.”

“I’m not trying to be cute.” She pouted slightly, trying to figure out how to vocalize the fact that it hadn’t even been a full week.

“But you are cute. You’re always cute. And sexy. ” Shea whispered, and Sasha’s face went hot as Shea’s fingers slipped between her ass cheeks and circled her hole, something Shea quickly learned would help her muscles relax. Her mind flashed to their first time, with images of the bedspread and distant and slightly muffled whispers of Shea dirty talking, and her legs twitched. Shea smirked before pulling away.

“Stay here, I’ll be back.”

She opened the curtain and went out before Sasha could say something, coming back a few moments later with a bottle that was instantly recognizable. She pulled Sasha closer with one hand and asked her for consent before turning her around, pressing her front against the wall and working her open with her fingers. Shea bent down to kiss her shoulders, she was clearly using what she knew to make Sasha putty in her hands, and it was working. She threw her head back onto Shea’s shoulder, and Shea kissed her cheek.

“Could, Could we go to bed now?” She gasped, and Shea let out an amused breath.

“Sure baby, as soon as we rinse off.”

Sasha was so antsy, the few minutes it took to finish up in the shower felt like an hour. Shea could definitely tell, and Sasha knew that she reveled in holding Sasha up in the shower, stepping out first and handing her a towel, drying herself off languidly. After Shea hung her towel back up, Sasha grabbed her hand and led her to the bed, waiting until Shea sat up against the headboard before crossing over to her suitcase and pulling out a felt crown, long forgotten from filming. She kept her back towards Shea as she put it together, and tried to decide what to say next.

“You know, I never got to congratulate you properly on your win.” She said as she turned around, trying her absolute hardest to sound seductive. Shea’s eyes got wide, and Sasha felt a little twinge of pride.  

"You were planning this all along."

"Actually I wasn’t. I haven’t used this suitcase since filming. But I say it worked out well. My queen.” She whispered as she neared the bed and placed it on her head. “It’s not as pretty as your actual crown, but it will do.” Sasha cooed as she settled in between Shea’s legs, grabbing her thighs and adjusting them to rest on her shoulders. Shea reached out and cupped Sasha’s face, stroking her cheek with her thumb.

“The others didn’t put you up to this, did they? You texted me when the episode aired, that’s more than enough for me.” Shea asked, and Sasha could tell she was genuinely concerned.

“Shea, my love, I’ve been dreaming of this moment for a while, I promise. I want this if you want it too.”

Shea’s shoulders visibly relaxed, and she nodded, letting go of Sasha’s face.

“Are you ready, my queen?"

"Drop the queen stuff Sash, but yes. I’m ready."

Sasha purred, resisting the urge to say "my queen” again. She leaned in and pressed kisses against Shea’s length, warming both of them up before suckling at her tip, then taking her in her mouth.

She always went into a trance of sorts when she went down onto someone, losing track of time, focused on their pleasure alone. Licking up and down the shaft, gently sucking the balls, taking as much as she could as deep as she could. Sasha knew how to give a blow job, and she felt she did it well. Tonight though, she felt distracted. Shea’s gasps and moans echoed through her head, and all she could think about was Shea’s whispered teases in the shower. She tried to refocus herself on her task by peeking up at Shea, but she ended up gagging accidentally, and Shea immediately popped up.

“Easy baby, don’t choke yourself for my sake.” She cooed as she caressed Sasha’s face and grabbed the base of her own dick, preventing Sasha from going down that far. Shea leaned back onto the bed to allow Sasha to continue, her moans turning into breathy praises and compliments that turned Sasha’s face redder than it already was.

“Oh fuck yeah Sash”

“Your lips are heavenly oh my god.”

“Look at your pretty little ass, You’re so fucking hot and you’re the one sucking me off oh my god.”

Sasha was attempting to tune her out to no avail, she could hear and understand every word that came out of Shea’s mouth, and Shea knew that, spilling out the compliments and dirty talk until her voice changed and she said something that made Sasha pull off of her and push herself onto her elbows.

“..What?” she croaked out, her overworked mouth struggling to form words, knowing full well what was said. Shea reached out and caressed her face again, eyes dark with desire.

“Sit on my face. Please”

Sasha nodded shakily as she turned around so she was straddling Shea’s torso, and her ass was near Shea’s face. She reached out to continue when Shea grabbed her hips and yanked her upwards.

“Turn around and grab onto the headboard.” Shea growled, and Sasha obeyed, a bit shell shocked. She felt Shea shift down, and she put her knees on either side of her head. Shea grabbed her hips again and maneuvered her where she wanted her, growling in satisfaction before diving in, licking circles and lines, gripping her hips tighter before inserting her tongue into her, moving with Sasha when she instinctively jolted up and guiding her back down as she relaxed.

There was a million things bouncing around Sasha’s brain, words that would form but then get stuck, leaving her mouth as incoherent moans and groans. But Sasha thought Shea would almost appreciate that more. She rested her head on her hands as she moaned, relaxing her body, letting sensation fully wash over her. She felt Shea’s hands travel up her body, to her ribs and and chest, briefly rubbing her nipples before trailing her hands back down as a wave of electricity went through Sasha’s body, sending her up again with a hiss and guiding her back down with trembling hips, her thighs beginning to reflexively squeeze Shea’s head slightly, with every attempt to make it stop making it worse.

Suddenly, Shea stopped, pushing her up gently so she could slide out from beneath her, sitting up and hugging Sasha from behind as she hung onto the headboard still, her fingers unable to move.

“Are you ok to go further Babydoll?” Shea whispered, and Sasha nodded, letting go of the headboard and twisting around to hold onto Shea, who picked her up and sat her back down on the edge of the bed on her back, putting the felt crown back on when Sasha grabbed it and held it out to her as she stood up, her legs trembling a bit as well as she put on a condom, offering her a drink from a glass of water on the bedside table before taking a drink herself, then guiding Sasha down onto her back as she swished the water in her mouth.

Shea held on to her hips and then slid up to her thighs, holding her legs in place and adjusting them so she could have access to all of her. Shea gazed at her for a moment before grabbing a pillow and putting it underneath her, raising her hips up a little, and Sasha felt something deep in her stomach, something warm and desperate.

“You ready?” Shea asked, and Sasha nodded.

“I need you to say yes or no, love."

"Yes.” Sasha whispered, and she watched Shea’s eyes darken with intense focus as she started thrusting, holding Sasha’s hips still as she tried to bounce with her, grabbing her hand and placing it near her crotch, indicating she wanted Sasha to stroke herself.

Within 30 seconds, the felt crown had fallen off Shea’s head onto Sasha’s chest, and Shea brushed away from her reach before Sasha could hand it back to her, and Sasha turned to watch it fall off the bed.

“Hey, I need to see your face. You don’t have to look me in the eyes, but I need to be able to gauge your comfort, ok?” Shea asked, gently turning Sasha’s head back to face her, and Sasha nodded and whispered something resembling an acknowledgment and an apology, which Shea responded to by letting go of her chin, rubbing her head soothingly, and then straightening back up and resuming, continually adjusting Sasha’s hips. Sasha only figured out what she was trying to do moments before she was successful, practically slamming her head into the bed when Shea found her g-spot. Shea rocked against it for a bit, looking absolutely entranced as Sasha’s legs trembled against her shoulders and the rest of her body writhed, smoothly moving back into her previous rhythm when it became clear Sasha would finish too quickly otherwise. Shea clearly wanted to make sex last as long as possible, frequently switching up the length and the speed of her thrusts, gazing at Sasha to see if she liked it, changing it up if she needed to. And it did last a while before Shea’s hips became less forceful and Sasha could tell

she was painfully close, maybe even attempting to hold herself back from orgasm. But any potential attempts were to no avail, as Shea knelt down on the bed and leaned in for a kiss before her body tightened and released with a groan, and Sasha could feel her shaking inside of her, but it wasn’t enough to bring her to her own orgasm, even as she kept on stroking herself.

Shea slowly blinked as her head cleared, making hazy eye contact with Sasha and softly smiling before running her eyes down the rest of her body and seeing that Sasha was nowhere close to finishing. Her eyes lit up, and before Sasha knew it, Shea had scooted her into the middle of the bed and crawled between her legs, groaning in anticipation.

She looked up at Sasha and batted her eyes, waiting for her to nod and whisper breathlessly before ducking down and gently sucking on one of her balls. Sasha’s reaction was immediate, she squirmed and gasped out. That was something else Shea learned early on, she seemed to know exactly what Sasha liked before she could tell her. Shea knew Sasha so well, and so it would make sense that her body was no exception. It also made sense that it barely took any time at all once Shea started sucking for Sasha to finish, Shea’s name on her lips as her thighs shook around Shea’s head.

Next thing Sasha knew, Shea was straddling her and kissing her, stroking her cheek and whatever piece of skin was closest, entangling the two of them into a cage of limbs, which is where they stayed for as long as they could, until Sasha had to get up and excuse herself to the bathroom. When she walked back out, Shea had switched beds, and Sasha had a bit of a deja vu moment to a few days ago, only instead of Shea being asleep, she was sitting up and smiling at her, motioning for her to join her. She strided over to the bed and got under the covers with Shea and went into her arms the moment they were held out, resting her head on her chest and nuzzling into her, thinking about nothing besides the current moment and all the moments before.

Soon enough she would deal with the dread of leaving Shea and this place, separated by miles, cities, and schedules, she wanted to savor every second she could without it being tainted by anxiety.

“I love you.” Shea whispered, “I love you so fucking much.”

Sasha barely heard her, and she sensed it wasn’t for her as much as it was for Shea to say it out loud, so she nuzzled Shea’s chest and ran her hand across her torso, mundane enough to be coincidental, but hopefully acknowledging and reciprocating enough for Shea to understand.

Downstairs, one of their friends called out, asking about a trip to a ice cream parlor, and Sasha and Shea looked at each other and held each other for a few more seconds before getting up and getting dressed, Shea leaving first with one last kiss so as to not seem suspicious, even though no one would buy it. Sasha looked out the window one last time at the sunset as she grabbed her bag, then went out the door, ready for whatever adventure was next.

#rpdr fanfiction #sasha velour #shea coulee #sashea #mock star #canon compliant #smut #fluff #s9 #as5

[woppy-my-beloved]

Aint that just the way that life goes down? Colonel Beckett x Amy Barrett

Original Plot: In 2015 Colonel Beckett Travels back in time to the year 2001 to stop a Plauge happening in 2009 by eliminating patiient Zero (Amy Barrett)  and trades his life in for hers. Making sure the plauge never happens however he dies in the year 2001 

Alternate Universe: Where Colonel Beckett survived and managed to go back to his own time. But the plauge never happend. TW: Mentions of Plauge/Global Pandemic/Drunk Driving

It was a rainy day, I slowly walk through the streets of New York while looking around I see all kinds of people hiding around me and children playing in puddles of water. These are the days like today when I think back to 15 years ago when I lost my husband Billy, to a drunk driver I had lost the love of my life. The night that I lost Billy I can still very well remember, coming home from work and getting dinner ready until I heard a knock on the door. Finally Billy was home i thought, concerts were always untill the late hours. But once when I opened the door, I was greeted by two uniformed police officers, not knowing at first that they were coming to tell me the news of Billy. The news they told me then dropped like a bomb. Billy never came home, never

“Mom, Mom! Come on or we'll be late! ” Said Bobby, our son. Yes, you will be surprised, two nights before Billy passed away I became pregnant with Bobby, Billy never knew he had a son. He looks just like his father, and he shares his love for music, he studies at the same music school that Billy used to go to, piano to be precise. “Mom come on now! Don't hesitate, I have to be there on time I want to speak to Catherine before the concert! ” "I'm already coming to you Bobby, just relax." I said with a chuckle. The concert is a collaboration with the other branch of the music school, Bobby's pen pal Catherine happened to be there too. In fith grade they got to know each other through a penfriend project through their school. Since then they have always kept in touch with each other, Catherine mostly lives in Chicago, but since her parents divorced 3 years ago, Catherine can be found with her father during vacations in New York. However just the way life is, it seems like the universe just doesn't want them to meet. And the concert was the perfect reason to see each other in person for the first time.

When we arrive at the doors I see the familiar faces from 15 years ago. I used to come here with Billy so often, until his death since then I did not dare to go to this place, everything reminded me of him. I lost just about all my friends after Billy's death, I pushed them away, I just didn't want to anymore. I had lost the love of my life.

Four months after Billy's death, little by little I came back to enjoy life again, I slowly started working and decided to go to the cinema after work. Until the universe played a game with me and decided to let someone dump their coffee on me. I decided to go home that evening, but just before I got home I heard a loud bang. When I looked back I saw him lying on the floor. Beckett his name was Colonel Beckett. He had been hit by a car driving in reverse and did not want to go to hospital at all costs. At that moment panic struck me, when I saw him lying there I only thought of someone, Billy. God, that image of Beckett laying on the floor in pain has haunted me for months. Only later did I make the connection that that moment again caused the memories to surface. I took him to my house so he could rest, he insisted he didn't want to go to the hospital.

Once at home I was able to take care of him, Beckett stumbled to the chair and sat down with difficulty. He just managed to take off his shirt, when I looked at his body I saw the bruises from the impact, and a few scars. Beckett didn't say much about himself. He had been in the military, special forces to be precise. He was hiding something, he was trying to keep himself together and distant, and little got through to him.His mind was elsewhere. “What are you some kind of tough guy?” I said.  “Not so tough,” he replied. 

Looking at his wounds I just couldn’t help it but wanting to help him. I think it’s because I wish I could’ve done this to Billy. Had he come home and I was able to take care of him. “Here i got you a shirt.” I said to him wile holding up one of Billy’s old shirts. “I’m kind of hungry would you like to have some food?”

He looked at me, still tense from our earlier conversation, I just couldn’t point what was wrong with him. “Well the delivery guy must’ve tought we were having a party.”  “I haven’t eaten Chinese in quite a while” He said looking at his plate. “Well Beckett this place is really good.” I said and smiled. I felt some tension in the room. “So you from around here? Or don’t you like talking to me.” While taking a bite, Beckett looked at me and replied. “Chicago” “Oh Chicago is nice, my husband Billy had a recital there. He didn’t get paid but exposure was always nice.” I stood up and reached for the cabinet where I got out this freamed picture of Billy. “This is my husband Billy, he passed away 4 months ago, drunk driver.” I walked over to Beckett and showed him the photo.

“So are you married?” I asked him. He looked at me, took a small pause and said. “I was married once. She died.”  Well there it was... He had lost someone too. Great Amy this is why you should be more carefull around other people!  “How did she die?” I asked looking at him, not sure if I asked the right question. “ She was sick and there wasn’t any cure.” I looked at him and felt inmense guilt coming over me. “I’m sorry Beckett... Sometimes you forget in your own grief that other people go through these things too.”

He had lost his wife to an illness, and no cure was available, from then on I realized I was not alone in the grief of losing a loved one. Once I told Beckett about Billy, he seemed to open up more to me. For the first time since Billy's death, I felt alive again, and I saw that in Beckett. He was sitting at the piano playing what he had made up himself, it was sad but beautiful. He told me he hadn't played Sarah since his wife died. And suddenly there he was, sitting at the piano, so focused but also so dreamy. We had more in common than we thought.

“What’s that piece called.” I looked at him. “Ah a little improv” He said while looking at the piano. “What happend to the drunk driver that killed your husband. The moment he asled that the music stopped and he turned to look at me. “ Oh he is fine i said, looking down.” I didn’t end up killing him like I planned to.” He looked at me with this confused look. “I wanted to buy a gun and take him out.”  I said looking at him, thinking back of the man who killed Billy. “What made you stop?” He asked looking directly at me. “It wouldn’t bring Billy back”.

Beckett seemed rushed, as if he couldn't rest. He even offered to stay the night on the couch that night and went to my doctor's appointment the next day. That day was so weird, and it was tense, it was different. That look in his eyes was a look with a mission, he didn't want to tell it at first until he panicked to get me away from the clinic.

“Beckett you have to tell me what is going on!” “Amy I can’t” He yelled back, there was something going on and I just needed to know. “Beckett please tell it to me!” He looked at me defeated and took me aside. He pulled out this little thing with a screen and showed me a video.I saw people scared, bodies, bodies laying everwhere. Beckett came from the year 2015, a year where there was a global plague all over the world, and I was the instigator. Me Amy Barrett a young woman from New York. I was the one who hurt him and millions of others so much. I had the misfortune to come in contact with 2 DNA fragments that started all of this. 

“You’re patient Zero Amy” Beckett looked at me. Fear ran through my body, what is this? This can’t even be possible!  

Fear got into my body and I decided to run, from that moment on it clicked. He was there to kill me! Before I knew it Beckett came up to me and pulled me close to him. He looked at me, and I expected hate, I expected him to kill me at that point, but he wasn't angry. He took me in his arms and comforted me. He wanted to protect me, me the one who made sure he lost his wife! I felt so immensely guilty. Beckett, on the other hand, held me and said it would be okay. His arms around me, that kiss on my forehead. He couldn't, he decided to spare me. He chose to stay with me so that I could not come into contact with the two other DNA fragments. My doctor was one of them.

From that moment on, it clicked. Beckett’s hostility towards me, the way he reacted so cold. He was sent to kill me. But he didn’t. Somehow he didn’t hate me for the things I had done.

At my appartment he later came clean about everything. “So why didn’t you kill me.” I asked him. “ Why didn’t you kill the guy that hurt your husband?” That was the sentence that send him over the edge. That got him to change his mind he spared me because he knew that we were going through the same kind of grief.

“So we changed the history?” Ï said to him. He turned around and laughed a little bit. “What do you want? A medal?” he grinned. “Well a pat on the back would be nice.” I said looking at him. We later heard a knock on the door,upon opening it was an unfamilar face to me. But for Becket it was not, it was his colleauge, who came to check in on him when he didn’t return. And he had good news the plauge never happend! 

I looked over at Beckett and I saw a sigh of relief coming down his face. He was going to get his wife back. And it was time for us to say goodbye. We looked at eachother knowing that this was going to be the last we were ever gonna see of eachother ever again. “ Well Beckett.. I want to thank you.” “It was nice meeting you.” I said wanting to go in for a hug but I decided not to.. I know it sounds strange but it felt that I was loosing someone important to me again. “It was nice to meet you as well Amy.” We looked at eachother and knew it was okay. It was time for him to go.

That was the last time I saw or heard of him

“Mom!” I looked up and heard Bobby’s voice coming to me. “Yes darling.” I looked at him totally unaware that I had dozed off for a second in my own thoughts. “Catherine is here she would like to meet you.” I walked with Bobby to one of the tables and I saw a young brunette standing there smiling at us. I smiled back at her and shook her hand. “Hi My name is Amy Barrett nice to meet you.” “Nice to meet you Miss Barrett my namce is Catherine, it’s so nice to meet you and Bobby finally.”  She looked at Bobby with a smile and the two of them looked at eachother like this wasn’t the first meeting for the two of them. “Catherine honey, where are you?” I heard a raspy voice coming from down the hall. Catherine looked behind her for a second and said: “Over here dad!” and as I looked in her direction I saw a tall handsome man heading my way. He looked familair, he had short brown curly hair and blue eyes that looked like you could get lost in them forever. When our eyes locked It hit me. It was him... Colonel Beckett. 

#Michael Rooker #Patient Zero #The Outer Limits #Amy Barrett x Colonel Beckett #Colonel Beckett #Amy Barrett

[punkpoemprose]

December 6th- Fuck 2020

Universe: Modern AU Rating: M (Mature, a little explicit, this is porn without plot for the most part) Length: 4383 Words A/N: The title says it all. This fic is about Kristoff and Anna having sex on New Years Eve. TW: Mentions of COVID-19, quarantine, and generally the shittyness of this year. This is the last of my decades AUs. Hopefully someday someone will write something more flattering for the 2020′s.

Anna closed her laptop and collapsed back onto the couch. She was exhausted mentally and emotionally, but her body wasn’t tired enough to let her sleep. It had been what she’d been suffering with all year, or at least since March when the world had gone from its usual level of chaos to being utter and total bedlam. She still remembered the day she’d learned that her kids wouldn’t be coming back to the classroom, and the only slightly more terrifying day where she learned that they would, in fact be coming back.

Her head was still awash with words she’d never thought she’d need to say to a room full of five-year-olds. We have to keep our masks on. Remember, six feet apart guys, that’s like two big dogs in a line. No, I’m sorry, I can’t give you a hug. She’d had to separate desks, and clean and not wipe away little tears like she normally would when a child was having a bad day.

The kids, she thought, had held up better than she had. They’d listened as well as they could, they’d followed the rules as much as they were able, and they were kind about the policies in a way that even grown adults were not. But even with all the work they’d done, even with all the kids doing their best, the second wave had hit, and now they wouldn’t be returning to school until after the middle of January, and then when it finally came about, it would be online. There was talk of vaccines in the news, and while it gave her some small spark of hope, all the changes have meant turning her holiday break into lots of online classroom prep.

It still wasn’t the worst though, she’d rather be tired than sick, and she couldn’t help but relax a bit and listen to the shower running in the next room over.

Kristoff had been given the afternoon shift for New Year’s Eve, and as per their new normal, he’d stripped down at the door after returning to their apartment, tossed all his things into the wash, and was currently showering. In the beginning, before they’d known just how bad things were, before PPE was supplied to every EMT in the county, he’d caught it.

Anna had remembered the pain of having to see him so ill, watching him suffer through what was determined to be a “mild” case of the virus while he was sequestered to their bedroom and she spent the week sleeping on the couch and barely seeing him at all except to occasionally bring him something to eat when he’d felt particularly weak. There was something particularly terrifying in watching the strongest person Anna knew, her rock, her one and only, barely able to take care of himself. He’d insisted the whole time, vehemently, that she leave to stay with her sister on the other side of town, be she’d been unable to bring herself to do it. She couldn’t and wouldn’t leave him alone when he was so sick she wasn’t sure if he’d make it through.

But, of course, he had. His voice had been strange and unlike him for weeks after he was cleared, and Anna had spent many nights in a cold sweat thinking about just how close he’d been to being in much worse shape. They’d started their procedure then, come in the door, take off your clothes, wash anything that went into work with you, and then shower. She’d done it too, but to less of an extreme because while she’d been around kids who had potentially been sick, he spent every day with Sven facing the positively ill together and trying their best to keep them well enough to get to the hospital.

The mental strain it was putting on them, Anna having to worry everyday about him getting sick again, or one of her students or even herself catching it was a lot. But Kristoff, kind and wonderful man that he was, kept checking in at the hospital to learn whether the transports he and Sven had brought in had made it. She saw the darkness in his eye, behind his attempts at levity, on the days where they lost someone.

The water shut off, and Anna let herself imagine him behind the door, stepping out of the shower, putting his towel on, walking over to the mirror to shave and comb his wet hair. He’d started keeping it shorter than usual as a precaution, and while he always looked handsome, Anna missed the days where she’d been able to put short braids into his hair and then comb them out with her fingers. She missed the days where he’d come home, flop onto the couch and that would be the end of things until one of them made dinner.

“Hey,” he said, as she heard the bathroom door open and shut, “Are you asleep or?”

She opened her eyes and tipped her head, looking at him from across the room. He was dressed in sweats and a t-shirt, nothing fancy because of course, despite it being New Year’s Eve, they weren’t going out anywhere. She was dressed similarly, but overtop her plain shirt, she’d thrown on her nicest cardigan, creating the illusion for the videos she’d pre-recorded, that she wasn’t on her couch in her pajamas, but instead was dressed in full teacher gear and was to be listen to closely.

“I don’t think I can do an early bedtime tonight,” she said, “Or even a nap. I have to be awake to see this year end.”

He laughed, but it wasn’t so much the sort of laugh he did when he thought she was being funny. It was much more of a chuckle, as if he were going to follow it with an expression of agreement. They both were rather done with the year, just like everyone else they knew. No one wanted to be living through a pandemic.

“Just imagine,” he said, “Maybe next year we’ll actually be able to go on a date or something.”

“Or,” Anna replied sadly, “Actually be able to reschedule our wedding.”

They’d planned a June wedding the year before. It was going to be a small affair. Just his family, Elsa, and some friends from work. They were going to have it at a ski-lodge in the mountains that also doubled as a summertime spa and nature retreat so that it would be like a vacation for everyone who attended. She could still imagine the way that they’d wanted to decorate the place, all sunflowers and mason jars and white ribbons. She had bought a dress and everything, and it was still stored in her sister’s bedroom closet.

They’d pushed it to August, but had given up on it past that, knowing as soon as September hit and she returned to school with in person students, that nothing would be changing anytime soon. Even her hope for the next year was a tentative thing, like a butterfly with a broken wing trying its damnedest to fly.

“Fuck 2020,” she said quietly, noticing the way he frowned at the mention of their cancelled wedding. He’d been looking forward to it as well, and she knew that this year had been just as upsetting for him as it had been for her. She tried not to swear very often, particularly because she was worried about being able to censor herself around the kids, but ultimately, the year deserved a middle finger and some very strong language.

He crossed the space and took her laptop from where it rested on her stomach, placing it carefully on the coffee table before he scooped her too, up and off the couch. He never had much trouble lifting her, but each time he did so unexpectedly, she was half afraid of falling. She flailed for a half a second in his arms, gasping at the change in height as it occurred.

“I’d like that,” he said with a grin, “The wedding. I know it’s just a formality, and that we’ve agreed not to do it at a courthouse or anything, but I’m so ready to call you Mrs. Bjorgman.”

“And have my students confused?” she teased, “Maybe you should be Mr. Arendelle.”

He laughed at that, but the shrugged and started walking in the direction of their bedroom, holding her bridal style as if it were already all over and done with.

“Why are we heading to bed?” she asked, only allowing herself a little hopefulness beyond her confusion. She knew why she’d like to be heading to bed, but maybe, she reasoned, he was just tired and wanted some company for a nap.

“You said, ‘fuck 2020’.”

She could see the cheeky smile on his face as he glanced down at her, still heading toward the bedroom, like a man on a mission.

“It sounded like a good idea to me.”

***

“So,” Anna said from her place below him on their bed, “In this analogy am I 2020 or?”

Kristoff laughed, and she was treated with a kiss on her knuckles as she obediently raised her arms up for him to remove her shirt. His laugh was one of the things that got her through the day, knowing that he could find humor in any situation, that she could make him laugh, was a blessing. It made things feel normal, and it was a joy for them both that they sorely needed.

“No. It’s more like we fuck each other, and we get a little extra enjoyment out of the year ending. Honestly, I didn’t think it through very much, I just wanted you and it seemed like a good excuse.”

That made her laugh, and she nodded appreciatively at the sentiment. She didn’t think that they needed to really contemplate it much as she was just happy with the opportunity to enjoy her fiancé for a little while.

“It’s a good way to pass the time until midnight,” she offered once she was free of her shirt, “I’m sure we’ll manage to keep each other awake.”

Her hands went up his shirt in return, letting her fingers travel over his the soft but muscled planes of his torso until he too removed his shirt, giving her better access to touch him as she leaned up to allow him to undo her bra’s clasps.

“It’s what? Seven?” He asked, tossing her bra in a rapidly growing pile of their clothes, “I can’t promise five hours straight, but I’ll do my best.”

His hands went up her sides, his thumbs rubbing appreciatively at the dips of her waist and across her ribs until they came up to he breasts. He cupped them gently first, and her hands moved to tracing up and down in spine in return as they found a comfortable position where she was somewhat seated in his lap, facing him. He pinched a nipple and she treated him to an appreciative moan and dragged her nails, lightly down his back.

They hadn’t had much time for intimacy as of late. Between what they both experienced at work and the stress of the holidays, even from a socially distanced standpoint, they’d mostly been using their bed for sleeping. It felt good for it to be put to better use.

“Of course, we’ll need to take a break for dinner. Maybe you’ll need a second shower with some company. I’m sure we’ll figure it out.”

The appreciative almost growl he made as he ducked his head down to her neck went straight through her spine and made her want to peel the rest of their clothes off and get down to business immediately. Shared shower or not, she already knew that she’d need to change her panties. If, of course, he was planning on letting her put any on before the next morning.

He squeezed and kneaded her breasts while his lips kissed down her neck and she allowed herself to surrender to his touch. Everything around her was Kristoff, his hands and mouth on her, the smell of his shampoo all she could smell as she tilted her neck to give him better access and shifted a hand up to his still wet hair. Despite him being fresh from the shower and in the cooler air of their bedroom, he was hot to the touch, exactly what she wanted as her hair stood on end from the temperature and his touch.

He moved lower then, his head ducking down to lave attention on her nipples as one arm wrapped around her back to support her leaning away and the other moved down, down, across her lower stomach and to the place where her waistband still sat.

“Off?” she asked, the word all she could form as she gave herself over to the sensation of his mouth sucking and nipping at her.

“Not yet,” he replied, barely moving his mouth from her as he answered and switched sides, leaving her wet nipple to pebble against the cold.

His fingers slid a bit lower still, under the waistband of her pants, but not into her underwear as he dipped her even lower.

His arm was strong at her back, keeping her aloft and exactly where he wanted her, even as she squirmed and bucked her hips against the hand that was moving closer and closer to her clit. She knew exactly what he was doing, but it didn’t keep her from jumping when his fingers grazed her through the fabric. He knew that she was sensitive, that he needed to work her up to his direct touch, let alone anything more. They’d had their fair share of quickies of course, but when he wanted things to last, when he wanted to see her come again and again, he worked her up first.

Anna moaned, and arched in his arms, not so much from the sensation, but from the promise it offered. He really was going to try to make this last all night long.

“What did I do to deserve you?”

“I ask myself the same question.”

She gasped as he slowly stroked his fingers up and down her, no doubt feeling how wet she was through her panties but not commenting on it. Instead, using his mouth to once again kiss down her body, moving from the valley between her breasts lower and lower, tipping her back onto the bed as he went.

Not to be outdone, Anna reached up to him as she was leaned back, letting her hands travel down and over his back, reaching for his rear and giving it a squeeze. He laughed against her skin, and she felt rather satisfied by the sound as he picked up the pace on her clit and kissed her navel. Her hands slipped forward then, moving across the waistline of his sweatpants, and dipping her fingers below them as he had.

It was a bit of an awkward angle, but she did her best to wrap her hand around him. It was a challenge, but it was worthwhile to hear his breathing quicken when she managed to slide her hand up and down over his already hard cock through the fabric of his boxers. She recalled the first time they had done this, what felt like many years before, but was just a little over a year and a half ago. She remembered touching him for the first time and being scared that she wouldn’t be able to take him. The thought would have made her laugh now, if it weren’t for the fact that his attention on her clit was making her gasp instead.

When his lips had kissed as low as possible in their current position, he sat up a bit and slipped his hand from her pants. He offered her a questioning look, as he always did, and Anna stroked him again in response, sliding her hand up and down his length and rotating her wrist a bit as she did so, knowing that it was what he liked.

“Off?”

“Off,” she replied, finalizing the unspoken agreement in words before adding, “You too.”

He nodded and she rubbed her thumb against his head before she too extracted her hand, giving him a small taste of what was to come. She fully intended to take him into her mouth if he would let her. It had been too long since she’d seen him fall apart like that, staring down at her with dark eyes and strong muscles trembling under the weight of his climax.

Maybe, she thought, she might even do it while he was laying down, so she could feel him under her and enjoy the building of tension in his body that always came before the release that left him panting and melting beneath her. She loved that he let her give him pleasure. There was so much he did everyday for her, all the care to not get her ill, the many nights he cooked dinner after a long shift, how he always listened to her stresses before offering up his own, and she liked to return his kindnesses in the bedroom.

He pushed himself up and off of her, pulling his pants down with one hand, using the other in a delightful display of his strength to hold himself aloft. He kicked them off a bit creatively, one leg at a time as if he were doing some kind of strange yoga, but never removing his eyes from her as he watched her buck her hips up and slide her own bottoms off.

He tossed them both somewhere to join their pile, and they were left, staring into each other’s eyes wearing nothing but their underwear.

She shivered a bit, both from the intensity if his gaze and the cool air around her. He noticed, his gaze softening as he lowered himself to her a bit and pressed a kiss to her lips. She responded by tipping her head up a bit, deepening the kiss as her arms raised up to wrap around his back and pull him down onto her.

“I’ll have to see if I can warm you up,” he said, their temperature differences more evident as his chest pressed into hers.

He was making a valiant effort, despite her pulling him down, to not crush her under his weight. There had been occasions where he’d allowed his whole weight to press down onto her, and while she didn’t exactly consider him light by any instance of the word, he wasn’t ever going to crush her quite so much as he made an excellent weighted blanket when he wanted to be.

His tone was lascivious though. There was no doubt in Anna’s mind as his hips rocked gently into hers that his plan for warming her up included more of the touching he’d just been doing moments before. When he kissed her again and let his lips trail, once more down her body, lower and lower, she knew that there would be nothing so simple as a blanket in his plans to warm her.

When he reached the waistband of her panties he didn’t stop, instead mouthing at her through the fabric, causing her to call his name and tangle her fingers into his hair. She felt his breath on her, hot, the inhalations and exhalations adding to the sensation as his lips nipped carefully at her clit. He slid down after a few moments, pressing kisses to her labia and center through the fabric, nudging her bud with his nose.

He could be devious with his mouth, a fact that she took immense pleasure in. He could kiss her mouth and pussy with equal skill, and she knew it came from a combination of natural talent, and plenty of practice with her and only her. His mouth could bring her to heights she’d never been able to reach alone, and the anticipation of him doing so had her trembling.

“Do you want me to?” he asked, glancing up at her from between her legs, seeking permission as he always did.

“Yes. Always.”

It was all he needed, flashing her a smile as he hooked his thumb under her waistband and pulled.

She lifted her hips obediently and was rewarded with an appreciative squeeze on her rear as he tugged the fabric off her. When it got to her knees, he leaned back and she set her bottom back onto her bed, watching him whip the fabric off her legs and onto the floor.

She would not be looking for them, she decided ultimately, until laundry day.

He spread her legs a bit more and rearranged them both on the bed until she had two pillows under her rear, elevating her, and he was half kneeling before her.

Once the matter of fabric and positioning was settled, he set upon her like a man starved. Evidently the foreplay had been enough for him, and she already felt it was enough for her, when he kissed her clit again, and then set to running his tongue over her. He went from the bottom of her slit, tasting her and groaning in appreciation, up to her clit, his tongue teasing at her before flattening against her, moving down, and repeating the process.

Her hands, desperate to show him the same appreciation he was showering her with, reached out as far as they could to rub just her fingertips, less artfully, but no less effectively, against the bulge straining against his boxers. His groans only added to the sensation as he tasted her, the rumbling of it tangible as he licked and took her into his mouth. The sound mingled in the air with her own moans, and soon, she stopped being able to tell who was making which sounds.

His tongue darted between her folds and she rocked her hips into his mouth. He rocked just far enough back that she could no longer touch him, and as such, her hands held onto him in other ways, one hand wandering across his shoulders while the other tugged at his hair.

He added his fingers to the business after a short while, taking only a moment away from her to watch her face as he slipped his fingers along her entrance, coating them in her before he, with trained dexterity, slid them inside her and began the search for the place on her inner walls he knew set her closest to the edge.

He got a satisfied look on his face when her moans grew louder, when she pleaded with him and thanked him for the new sensation, and it was a grin that she saw last before his face descended, again, to mouth at her clit with new fervor.

It was only a matter of time before she fell back against the bed, pillows falling from under her rear as she went stiff, then limp, under the force of her orgasm.

She tasted herself on his lips when he kissed her.

***

“Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!”

Anna had been somewhat surprised that they made it to midnight, both of them thoroughly spent with the amount of time and energy they’d put into their private celebration. She wasn’t counting down with the people on the television though, she couldn’t even see them as she knelt before the couch, feeling Kristoff’s tensed legs at either side of her. She couldn’t count anyway, she had her mouth full.

She’d wanted to manage to get him to come right at midnight, thinking about how funny and gratifying it would be to ensure that her fiancé, the man she loved most in the world, started the new year out right. She supposed though, as she bobbed her head up and down, her tongue running up and down his length as she breathed through her nose, that he wouldn’t mind if it was just a minute or so late.

“Anna,” he groaned, his hand on the back of her head, not pushing but encouraging her to maintain her speed, “Baby I think I’m going to…”

She hummed, keeping up her speed, flattening her tongue against him and doing her damnedest to give him the same pleasure he’d given her earlier in the day. They’d done plenty in the hours between, but this was the first time for the day, and now for the new year that she’d pleasured him with her mouth.

She hoped that the sounds she was making were encouraging as his hips rocked almost imperceptibly, his hand that rested on her shoulder tightening as the one in her hair pressed a little more than it had been.

When he came for her, she could feel the shuddering of his muscles, particularly his thighs which she was using for support, even under the fabric of his clothes. They’d only recently finally donned clothes again for the first time since dinner, and she had decidedly not let it stop her, particularly when it was easy enough to shift the fabric down enough to suit her needs.

“Anna,” he repeated, panting as she too came up for air, swallowing him.

She could feel herself flush, and saw the blush mirrored on his cheeks. He was frazzled, and when she leaned up, using his thighs for support, to get a better look at his expression, she was surprised by his dipping down to kiss her lips.

“Happy New Year Anna,” he whispered, hands already moving on her, pulling her closer as he showed her his appreciation.

She couldn’t help but laugh, accepting her New Year’s kiss as he sat before her with his pants still askew. If it was an omen for the year, she was glad for it. She’d rather the year be an amusing one than the way the previous one had been.

“Happy 2021 Kristoff,” she replied, kissing him again and letting herself enjoy the sensation of his touch before reaching down to tug on his waistband, helping him readjust before turning to shut the television off and drag him off to bed.

They’d had a long, but very enjoyable day. The perfect way, she thought, to usher in the New Year.  

#kristannaadvent2020 #kristanna #frozen fanfiction #this is just smut guys idk what to tell you #it's been a year

[purplesurveys]

1062

survey by chrissylee22dc

A

Achievements: I guess I’m being asked to list some of mine...some of the ones I’m proudest of, at least, are graduating university with honors, landing a job (liking it is a big bonus), and taking up leadership positions.

Age: I am 22, but never felt quite like it.

Are you planning something right now? Kind of. I’m eyeing a long road trip to Tanay with just myself and go to one of their coffee shops, but idk when I’ll be able to do that. My wallet and bank account are still beat from Christmas lol (and until now I’m still buying gifts for friends), so it might have to wait until sometime next month.

Arizona or Alaska: I think Arizona weather is already quite like ours here, so I might enjoy Alaska a bit (if not a lot) more. There’s generally a lot more factors I find interesting with Alaska, like their food.

B

Birthdate: April 21st.

Build: I’m quite thin and underweight, but I actually recently made plans to start working out - both to make an effort to be healthy with myself, and also to feel good post-breakup. I’m hoping to see some changes in my body and build in the coming months.

Babies, do you have any? None of those, not sure if that’s still the plan for me.

Blonde or Brunette: Brunette.

C

Childhood sweetheart: Erm, does Gab count? We technically weren’t kids anymore when we first got together. I wasn’t attracted to anyone as a kid and was more concerned with growing my Pokemon pogs collection.

Current mood: I’m hungry and can go for savory breakfast foods right now, like shakshuka or huevos rancheros. Also a little anxious because I really don’t want to think about work, but tasks continue to pile up for a certain client.

Children, are there more in your future? There aren’t even any to begin with.

Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi just because it reminds me of Punk and my chaotic wrestling fangirl years.

D

Dad's name: Edgardo, but no one calls him by that full name. He has two nicknames; one of which he hates and only family and friends use, and the other is the name he has permanently introduced himself as in his workplace.

Dating anyone: Not anymore.

Do you plan on having lots of money? Don’t most people?

Dogs or cats: Dogs.

E

Elementary School: I’m not sharing that.

Eye color: Dark brown/black.

Ever going to China? Probably not right now considering the present situation. I’d love to go to the rural cities and have a peek into their country life.

Early or Late: EARLY. Lateness is a big pet peeve, unless the excuse is super reasonable like Manila traffic or a car accident.

F

First Crush: The first person I felt remotely attractive to was Andi, from 6th grade. Then she moved to New Zealand and the crush quickly faded out.

Fears: For concrete things, I hate cockroaches and fair rides. For bigger concepts, I fear getting left behind, failing, and not getting approval, and the idea of never being satisfied or happy with who I am, what I’ve done, or where I’ve gone.

Future goals: Have a place of my own, be able to sustain myself, and keep myself alive.

Funny or Serious: I think everyone has to have both sides. I wouldn’t want to hang out long with people who can’t be sat down to just shoot the shit with conversations that go a little deeper. At the same time, I’d be quickly bored with someone who talks about existential or philosophical topics 24/7 and takes everything seriously.

G

Grandparent's names: On my dad’s side, Dolores and Federico; on my mom’s side, Agnes and Jun. My maternal grandpa is the third in multiple generations of Abelardos in the family, but his nickname is simply ‘Jun,’ because Philippines.

GPA: We don’t measure our grades with that, but we do have a GWA; I’m just not sure how that can be converted to GPA. Mine was in the 1.47 range, which was good enough for cum laude honors. I barely missed out on a magna cum laude honor (which required a 1.45 GWA), so that’s something I’ve always been pressed about and I know I could have clinched it if the pandemic didn’t cancel my final semester, which would’ve given me the chance to pull up my grades.

Going anywhere this weekend? I don’t think so. I want to spend the remaining 5 days of my break completely unproductively.

Giver or Taker: Giver. I like pleasing people.

H

High School: I attended one school from kindergarten to high school.

Hair color: Black.

Hate anyone for life? I don’t think so. I dislike some people, but I can’t tell if I’ll feel that way for the rest of my life.

Hairspray or Gel: When I’m going somewhere or attending something fancy, I use hair gel to hold my hair down.

I

In 8th grade, who was your best friend? Eighth grade is freshman year of high school, right? In that case, my best friend was Gabie.

Is ignorance bliss? Sometimes it is. I like no longer being updated about Gabie’s life. Back when I still tried to push my way in, I was miserable. I stopped doing so over the holidays and I just stopped reaching out, stopped trying to communicate, everything. I’ve been a lot happier that way.

Is there anything you wanna share? That’s kinda the goal with every survey I take.

Ice Cream or Cake: Right now, maybe ice cream. I’m very picky about cake, and I don’t like the spongy ones aka most cakes I know.

J

Jumped rope for fun: That’s exactly what I use jump ropes for. I don’t think I ever used it for fitness or working out except for maybe PE.

Junk around you right now? I mean, not really. I have my embroidery stuff in a pile beside me, but I don’t consider them junk.

Joining anything anytime soon? Not planning on it. I briefly considered joining a gym as a new thing to do for 2021, but in the end I figured working out at home would be enough. Angela recommended the latter as well, so that’s how I abandoned my gym plans quickly haha.

January or July: I guess July? January always feels just a teeny bit stranger than other months, considering it’s the beginning of a new year.

K

Killed anyone: ...This serious?

Keeping a secret? I keep different secrets from different people.

Kicking someone off your top friends today? I don’t think that’s a thing anymore. Hasn’t been for a while.

Kiwi or Apple: Apple, just because I’ve never had the chance to taste kiwi.

L

Lost anyone close to you: I’ve lived 22 years, of course I have. I’d be very surprised if someone has lived that long but has never experienced losing people, whether from a fallout, from death, etc. Just this year alone I lost a great-aunt on my maternal grandpa’s side, and a ton of relatives from my maternal grandma’s side.

Last kiss, when and who: Gabie, three months ago.

List 3 people that you'll love forever: I can only think of Angela. And of course, Gab.

Lover or Fighter: Fighter, I suppose. I can be relentless. Right now with my breakup has been the only time I allowed myself to take a step back and not forcibly take things under my control for once.

M

Middle School: We don’t follow the concept of middle school here. The levels in middle school fall under elementary school as well.

Marital Status: Single.

Mom's name: Abigail.

Music or TV: TV.

N

Northernmost state you've been to: Batanes, which is as northernmost as northernmost gets in the Philippines.

Nickname: A lot of family members call me Byn, but for the most part Robyn has always been my main nickname.

Name your future boy and girl: I have yet to make up my mind about this.

Naughty or Nice: Nice. I never particularly feel ~naughty, and since the breakup I especially haven’t felt the need to be sexual.

O

Opened a piece of mail that wasn't yours? Sometimes I’ll open the electricity or water bill addressed to my parents out of curiosity just to find out how much we consumed in the last month. But nothing more than that.

Occupation: I’m an associate at a PR agency.

Owe anyone money: Nope.

Outgoing or Shy: Shy at first but I can get outgoing once I’ve warmed up to a person/situation.

P

Place you most want to be? Right now? I’d love to be at a coffee shop or bar at a higher altitude, with a view of the city. I used to go to a lot of these before the pandemic hit, but now I’m thinking of doing it again.

Purposely destroyed someone’s life? No.

Planning a major trip? Not really. Most tourist spots require swab tests and I am not having anything go up my nose.

Pink or Black? Love both, but I like pink ever so slightly more.

Q

Quit a class: I’ve never dropped a class. I’ve wanted to, but there was so much paperwork to fill out to do so and I also didn’t want to be behind on my overall schedule.

Quickly...the first word to come to mind: Whistle, because the pink/black question reminded me of Blackpink.

Quitting your job soon? No lol I’m barely two months in.

Quiet or Loud: I can be both, but these days I’ve been quieter.

R

Riding in an airplane: I have no idea what this is asking.

Ride, tell me about yours: ^ Same.

Running for any political office in the future? No plans to.

Rain or Snow: I guess rain, since it’s the only one I’ve experienced.

S

Siblings names and ages: Nina is 20, my brother is 17.

Shoe size: I fit anywhere between a size 6 to 7.

Shave daily? It used to be daily, but I haven’t had the need to since the quarantine began.

Shower or Bath: Shower.

T

Turning 21 was (will be): It’s been a year since then.

Texas, ever been? No but I have relatives who live there, so it’s one of my choice states to visit and stay at if I ever plan to go to the US.

Think you'll live to be 100? I doubt it. I don’t have any relatives who lived until that age.

Tame or Wild: Idk, tame I guess?? I don’t know what this is asking.

U

Unique quality about you: I feel like this is a question best answered by other people who see and interact with me more than I do myself.

Underwear on? Yeah.

Under your bed lies: Large containers with all the magazines I collected from childhood that I can’t bring myself to throw out.

Under or Over: Idk, you have to be more specific.

V

Virgin? No.

Vacation time left? I have five days left, including today :( I plan to be the most unproductive or bum-y I’ve ever been, because I have no clue when I’ll have a break this long again.

Voting in the next Presidential election? Of course.

Volleyball or Swimming: I like swimming more, but I like watching volleyball.

W

Went white water rafting? I don’t think so, but I would give it a shot.

Wearing right now: A hoodie that’s around two sizes bigger for me.

Write a sentence about you: About anything? I’m a little upset with myself for having been a bit lousy with survey-taking during the holiday break. I planned on taking a lot to catch up on the ones I’ve missed out on, but so far I mostly take just one a day lol.

West Coast or East Coast: East.

X

X-Rays in the past month: 0.

X-Mas plans: Had a get-together with my mom’s side of the family on the 24th; we hosted our own Christmas party on the 25th; and we visited my dad’s side of the family on the 26th.

X, does it mark the spot? Idk.

X-Tina or Britney? Britney.

Y

You lost "it" when? I mean, I’ve had more than one moment where I freaked out...

Your favorite song:  I’m really in love with Saw You In A Dream by The Japanese House. My favorite songs come and go, but this one has been a constant.

Your favorite place on Earth: Sagada.

Yes or No: Idk. I’m not enjoying these vague ass questions.

Z

Zodiac Sign: Taurus.

Zodiac Sign: Idk, I’m still a Taurus.

Zippos are neat, agree? I don’t have an opinion.

Zoo or Circus: Neither.

#survey #surveys

[couldbeasong]

1-60 for the ask meme

Ope sorry I did not see this until today. I think I know the one? If it’s not the one you meant just lmk lol

1. Selfie?

You can have this picrew but I wish to be unperceived.

2. What would you name your future kids?

For female names I like: Harmony, Slyvia, Edelweiss, Bethany, and Opal

For male names I like: Uriah, Aiden, Kai, Levi, and Luke

3. Do you miss anyone?

My grandpa and Midnight (old dog)

4. What are you looking forward to?

Going on vacation in a few weeks, the end of the semester, and seeing @calligraphywitch tomorrow

5. Is there anyone who can always make you smile?

@calligraphywitch and my other girlfriend. They’re hilarious lmao

6. Is it hard for you to get over someone?

Romantically? Not really. You kinda gotta just accept it and move on. In the past, always being like: this will never work because of reason xyz helps.

Friendship wise? Absolutely. It depends a lot on the emotional investment I put into the relationship, but I find myself still missing people I haven’t talked to since High School or Middle School.

7. What was your life like last year?

It was weird being a freshman in college and trying to survive. I had a lot of family problems going on along with one of my best friends from High School being on her death bed for a while. A bit of a crisis of faith as well. But we survived, God willing! I miss pre-pandemic times tho

8. Have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

Ask my brother. I’m sure there’s been an instance.

9. Who did you last see in person?

My grandma across the room from me!

10. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

I hide them so well I can’t even find them!

I like to pretend they aren’t there and repress them a lot but idk if I’m good at hiding them from others per say.

11. Are you listening to music right now?

I’m in a zoom meeting for class, so I guess my professor's voice?

12. What is something you want right now?

Freedom

13. How do you feel right now?

Kinda tired, kinda nauseous, kinda bored. Idk I probably need to drink some water.

14. When was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?

Uhhhh idk about a week ago? My last hug was probably a week ago too XD

15. Personality description

I like to think I’m funny

16. Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

I work in customer service- everyday (:

17. Opinion on insecurities.

Everyone is insecure about something. It’s kinda fascinating how even though all of humanity is exactly the same (in terms of our struggles and insecurities, we don’t vary) we still judge others for having them. Confidence is seen as a virtue and the most attainable goal. Society profits off of your insecurities tho so be aware of what they are and don’t let yourself be scammed.

18. Do you miss how things were a year ago?

Certain aspects perhaps. But 2019 is gone. It performed and then it left. It can’t hurt us or help us anymore. There’s little use in dwelling on that and wishing for 2020 to be 2019.

19. Have you ever been to New York?

No, but I swear Ima go one day and see a show on Broadway.

20. What is your favorite song at the moment?

I have like three I’m cycling between rn

When You’re Home from In the Heights

Wake Up by Jenny Owen Youngs

Together by For King and Country

21. Age and birthday?

Old enough to know better and October

22. Description of crush.

He’s super great and super intelligent, not to mention super in love with God. Frankly, he deserves better than me. I gotta lot of self-improvement that needs to happen, but we’ll see what happens XD

23. Fear(s)

Heights, drowning, spiders, super dark streets and rooms, not being good enough

24. Height

5′5″ respectfully

25. Role model

It’s changed through the various stages of my life. Rn tho a few of my Christian online friends

26. Idol(s)

I mean I stan Brian David Gilbert, but I don’t idolize him lol

27. Things I hate

Cheesecake, sickly sweet stuff, when someone grabs the receipt out of the printer even though it’s way more effort for them to do so than for me just to hand it to them and it throws me off of my rhythm, fudge

28. I’ll love you if…

You exist (and even not then because fictional characters just hit different lol)

29. Favorite film(s)

Tangled, Ella Enchanted, Enchanted, Howls Moving Castle, Princess, and the Pauper

30. Favorite tv show(s)

Brooklynn 99, Parks and Recreation, Ouran High School Host Club, My Hero Academia, and Bojack Horseman (I’m going through a phase with it rn lol)

31. 3 random facts

Blue is my favorite color, I own almost nothing in blue, people are better at identifying members of their own race better than members of other races.

32. Are your friends mainly girls or guys?

Girls- they’re easier to talk to and approach. Tho I stan and love my guy friends. They are kings.

33. Something you want to learn

Everything? Idk I have an insatiable desire to learn and it switches. Consistently, I want to learn how to make my own clothes, play either piano, guitar, or violin, and detail cars.

34. Most embarrassing moment

Uggg I’m not talking about it and neither is @calligraphywitch

35. Favorite subject

I really enjoyed Statistics as much as I have hated it. My all-time favorite class I have ever taken tho was AP US Literature

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

Graduate grad school, get married, travel overseas

37. Favorite actor/actress

uhhh probably Chris Pratt or anyone who was on Parks and Recreation. Tho Broadway actors, I love Christian Borle

38. Favorite comedian(s)

John Mulaney

39. Favorite sport(s)

I miss playing softball and volleyball so prolly those

40. Favorite memory

There are too many to count. But usually, involve good conversations under the stars after 2 AM.

41. Relationship status

Have a picrew of my sister and me. Keep scrolling and mind ya business (jk ily anon)

42. Favorite book(s)

The Bible lol but fictional book wise, I will always love the Warrior Cats series. Red Queen was pretty lit. The Hourglass Door gave me a love for time travel aus lol. And Library Wars is near and dear to my heart.

43. Favorite song ever

You can’t ask me thisssss

Idk Hope is what we crave by For King and Country

44. Age you get mistaken for

24-30 it depends on the context

45. How you found out about your idol

@calligraphywitch

46. What my last text message says

No xD not disney

47. Turn-ons

When you have a musical playing and the end of one song is the start of another so they bleed into each other. CHILLS or when a line of poetry just expresses how someone feels. OR when different parts harmonize just right

48. Turn-offs

When my computer deletes my homework right before it’s done

49. Where I want to be right now

In a little cabin in the woods

50. Favorite picture of your idol

51. Starsign

Scorpio

52. Something I’m talented at

Reading peoples emotions

53. 5 things that make me happy

Music, Friends, Deep Conversations, Hugs, and God

54. Something that's worrying me at the moment

So much to do so much to see

55. Tumblr friends

Friends and mutuals include:

@calligraphywitch @an-assortment-of-forks @repentance-brings-healing @synthetic-blanket-hairs @loneallegiance @boywiththewand @knightof-cups @a-lil-strawberry @linkedwolf @indygo @obnoxioushair

There’s plenty more than that and I love you all ^^

56. Favorite food(s)

Tacos, Crab Ragoons, Salty Foods, RICE

57. Favorite animal(s)

Wolves and cats

58. Description of my best friend

Artistic, beautiful, supportive, hardworking. She is hilarious and an amazing person. There’s so much to the many reasons I love her I just can’t do it in words

59. Why I joined tumblr

Back in the 7th grade, my friends all had one and helped set me up with one. And that’s that.

60. Ask me anything you want

You want nothing ig lol if you want to submit one I can answer it still

[thedormdietitian]

Why I’m Leaving the Field

Hi everyone!

It’s been quiiiiiiite a while since I’ve posted on here, and I’m really sorry about that! One perk of quarantine is that I’ve had a whole lot of extra free time, so here we are.

In my last post (done almost 2 years ago....how?!), I shared my thoughts on the lack of jobs for dietitians. Well, shortly after posting that, I was fortunate to land a job in the world of inpatient dietetics. It was in my dream area and I was thrilled to a) have a full time job and b) have it be in the area I have my degrees in. In today’s rather pathetic millennial society, I recognize how lucky I am to have a job that fits both of those categories. But anyways, as you can tell by the title of this post, I will (hopefully) be leaving this job, and this field, soon.

I’ll try to keep this post short and sweet, but I have to admit that I never thought I would actually be writing this. I was a young, spry 18 year old when I decided on this career. I was slightly obnoxious over how proud I was for never changing my major and I always knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. Maybe this is payback? I truly thought this was the career for me and I didn’t let anything get in the way of that. There were many times during both undergrad and grad school that I wanted to quit, but I did not let anything get in my way. I was so beyond determined to hurry up and graduate and start my dream career, and I was ecstatic to land the job that I did.

Now that I’m looking back, I realized this career wasn’t for me during my internship. On my second day of my clinical rotations, I cried on my whole drive home. After a whole two days at my rotation site, I knew didn’t chose the right career. I’ve never told ANYONE this because I was so embarrassed that it took me years of schooling to realize that; and here I am, in a coveted and competitive internship, realizing that this wasn’t what I wanted. So, I sucked it up and just told myself I was overreacting, and that there was no way in hell I would quit the internship because I was lucky to be there. It took me quite a while to grapple that idea. 

Now, to get to the why am I leaving the field? I’ve been at my job for a while now. Again, I realize, especially now, how fortunate I am to even have a job, let alone contemplate a career change. But, if this helps anyone thinking of becoming a dietitian, then I’m glad I put this out here. Here are the reasons why I am leaving the field:

-We have to get permission for EVERYTHING. This is possibly what bothers me the most. Everyone I work with has advanced degrees, tons of experience, and credentials, yet we have to ask permission to do the very things that we’ve been trained to do. Want to order a vitamin level? Call the doctor. Want to change tube feeds because the patient is off the ventilator? Call the doctor. Want to correct your patient’s diet order? Call the doctor. At my hospital, we are the only group of providers that has to get permission to do anything. I see MDs order speech evals, or PT/OT evals, and they just say “evaluate and treat”. No physical therapist is calling the doctor to see if it’s ok to do this certain exercise on a patient. Even if we get an order for tube feeds, we have to call the doctor (who ordered the consult) to see if, yes, they truly want tube feeds. Doctors don’t have a clue what exercises should be done, just like they don’t know what tube feeds a patient should be on. I’m not slamming doctors at all; that’s why different specialties and careers exist. But why can’t dietitians be treated like other professions? It’s ridiculous to call to get permission to DO OUR JOBS.

-The pay. I knew I wouldn’t be a millionaire as a dietitian, but I didn’t think the pay would be that dismal. Sitting in the office everyday, at least one person complains about not having enough money. Our raises are very small and are automatic; we get them each year whether we are good at our job or not. There are no incentives to perform better. I’m a strong believer in working hard because that’s what you should do, but it gets pretty dang annoying to see people in other careers who get lucrative bonuses for simply doing things required for their jobs. At my workplace, you don’t get extra pay if you get your CNSC/CDE/etc, see extra patients, come in early, or anything else. Your pay doesn’t change except for your yearly raise. Hearing my coworkers complain about money on the daily really starts to get to me, especially after working so hard to get here. A few of my coworkers have worked at my workplace for 30+ years and don’t even come close to making $70k. Hearing that they can’t afford to do needed house repairs, or fix their cars, or even go on vacation with their kids gets really depressing. I even have a coworker who has to give up her shift if her mom can’t watch her kids because she can’t afford to pay for childcare. You wouldn’t think any of those things would be a concern working in healthcare! Dietitians work insanely hard to even become a dietitian, and our jobs are demanding. Our pay needs to reflect that. See my previous post for salary comparisons in healthcare careers. I had a professor in undergrad who said dietitians will only be successful financially if their spouses are the breadwinners. I brushed her comment off at first, but after working in the field, SHE WAS RIGHT. I have a lot of coworkers, and the ones who are truly happy in this field are the ones that have spouses who are breadwinners. Because money DOES matter. I want to be able to take care of myself, buy things I need, fix things that break, and yes, go on vacation. I don’t even have kids yet, but the number of times I’ve already thought about not being able to afford things for them freaks me out. I’ve known dietitians who work for WIC who are on WIC themselves.That is not even slightly ok. I am not shaming those who use WIC; but to be a dietitian and meet the salary requirements for WIC is mind-boggling. Your education is an investment; you want a solid return on that investment. If you’ve ever paid for a dietetic internship, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

-Lack of leadership. Sorry, but I can’t stand the Academy. Using my example of physical therapists again, their “academy” fought for them to raise their pay and to improve the field, and they did. The only advancement in our field is the new “RDN” credential, which, frankly, just brings more confusion on who we are and tacks on the word “nutritionist”, something that 99.9% of dietitians hate being called. The Academy is also requiring all RD’s to have Masters degrees by 2024. I interviewed for quite a few jobs, and having a Masters does nothing for your duties/responsibilities, and results in a very minimal salary adjustment. We can do better. Making it even harder to enter into this field or slightly changing our name won’t help anyone.

-Lack of support for the field. Excluding FNCE, have you ever been to a dietitian conference? They’re usually in a random hall at hospital. Have you ever seen a conference for other health professions? They’re usually at a gorgeous resort on an island. Because of our poor pay, very few dietitians are actually able to support their profession financially. This results in lackadaisical events that are frankly depressing to be at. It’s not about the glitz and glamour; its about supporting the profession and being enthusiastic about it. These events that are held should make people want to join our profession, not run the other way. 

-Job outlook. As a clinical inpatient dietitian, I don’t see my exact position being around for much longer. Especially with losses in revenue amongst hospitals due to COVID, I truly (and unfortunately) think this position will eventually be phased out. In my city, a lot of hospitals have already started cutting their clinical inpatient diet techs, and I think dietitians are next. And it kills me to say that, because our job is needed. But since nurses can (and have) been doing our educations, pharmacy can order TPNs, and residents can stumble through ordering tube feeds, I think our job has shifted into the “not really necessary but nice to have” category. Which really, really sucks. But even in the few years I’ve been a dietitian, I’ve seen the shift. I think outpatient and community RD jobs will always be there, but I think inpatient dietitians are going to be a thing of the past very soon. Starting your own business has become more popular. If you can make it work, go for it. There is a dietitian “business coach” who started her own Instagram business after realizing clinical just isn’t where it’s at, and that new clinical jobs are becoming few and far between. And honestly, she’s right. Post-pandemic, look at the number of job opportunities in your area. It’s a shrinking number.

So that’s that. I’m sure this came off as negative, but someone needs to be telling others this. As much as I love nutrition and am passionate about helping those improve their health with nutrition, this career just isn’t worth it. I hope to always use my RD roots in my next career and I don’t regret the years of schooling I’ve done. But if you’re considering this route, I want you to recognize that this career isn’t even close to what your professors have chalked it up to be. If anything, if you are in college right now, GO SHADOW. Shadow inpatient, shadow outpatient, go see what the job is like. See how happy they are in their jobs, learn their salaries, learn what they love, what they don’t love, and truly see if you can see yourself in this job. That’s what I would tell my 18 year old self, and it’s what I’m telling you as well. 

xoxo,

The Dorm Dietitian

#dietitian #registered dietitian #rd #rdn #nutrition #dietetics #college

[noahhernandez]

2/9/2015 v. 8/11/2020

1:Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. My favorite movie is Scream, and it started when I saw the midnight premier of Scream 4 with my dad back when I was in 8th grade, then Scream 1 came on AMC late on night and I just really like it

I still think Scream is one of my favorites, but Halloween has jumped up there just because I am obsessed with all things horror really lol. I started to love Halloween because of the new trilogy.

2:Talk about your first kiss. It’s really not that interesting but really like embarrassing. It was with my first boyfriend and I had just turned 15 and we were at the school just walking around and we went into the band hall and I was like ok im leaving and he was like wait and we kissed and i was like o

the same ! 

3:Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for. I never really have had intense feelings for anyone. I d k

One my exes- I mean we were dating for awhile so that’s pretty intense to me. 

4:Talk about the thing you regret most so far. I regret… Nothing really I mean, I have done really bad things in my life, but i don’t regret them

I regret failing like 2 semesters of college lmao and almost dropping out. If i didn’t then I would 1- would have been done earlier and 2- would have already completed a year of grad school but IDK also another is wasting lots of money in 2017-2018

5:Talk about the best birthday you’ve had. The best birthday I’ve had was.. Idk This year was was nice I saw Iggy Azalea in concert, then I celebrated my friends’ birthday then mine and it was just everyone got to get together so ya this year my 18th

For my 21st birthday I went to Portland, Oregon and spent the weekend there and it was pretty and my first time there so it was nice despite what I think about PDX now. I don’t even know what I was doing for my 19 and 20th birthday lol. 

6:Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had. My 17th birthday because I was stuck 2 hours away from home with a bunch of nerds doing a band competition 

That is still probably my worst birthday. I forget to mention that I was gone literally from like 7am to midnight. They werent a bunch of loser nerds, they were my friends, but I still wish I was just at home lol. 

7:Talk about your biggest insecurity. I am skinny, but not fit. If I eat anything I get this like stomach and it makes me so sad. and ever since I got a job I work odd hours and I eat a lot of fast food and I’ve gained 10 pounds in 2 years and I guess i’m insecure about my weight

I am still insecure about my weight, and I probably weight like 5 pounds more than I did when I made this post 5 1/2 years ago. 

8:Talk about the thing you are most proud of. We have band banquets for band, and I only went my sophomore and junior year, and seniors give out awards to underclassmen that are just jokes really, and both years 4 different seniors gave me an award for being the biggest gossip in the entire band and I was proud of that lol

Well since then I have graduated both high school and college. I am proud that I finished college !! A BS in Psych. Proud of myself that I got promoted (in 2017) at my job; i’m proud of myself that I have my own apartment, and blah blah basically just doing regular adult shit. 

9:Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. I like my nose because of how perfectly fixed it is. I also really like my freckles/moles/dark marks idk what they are exactly, but they’re on my face and they look great

I still feel the same way about this, maybe add my eyebrows- they’re not like clean and nice they’re just expression markers on my face that i love.

10:Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had. I got into a fight with my old friend Angelica and that was almost 4 months ago and we used to be best friends and now we never talk.

When Janett didn’t talk to me all summer of 2019 because I told our other friend Angel something

11:Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had. I cant remember one 12:Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had. I can’t remember one

13:Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time. The closest thing i’ve had to like sex was being locked in a back of an SUV with a stranger drunk as fuck and naked and its embarrassing

Just awkward and nothing to which I expected. 

14:Talk about a vacation. When I was 16, the high school band took a trip to Hawaii, and all my friends were in band so it was great. We did a lot of things, we toured Pearl Harbor and even played a few patriotic songs on the USS Miss. and our hotel was on Wakiki beach. I went snorkeling in some beautiful water and shit and idk just walked all around Hawaii having a great time omg we got on stage at the Hard Rock Cafe and sang with German people i miss it

Hm that was fun. But I.. went to NY with my ex and that was pretty cool because I literally love New York, and I went to NOLA two years ago (today actually) and got miserably drunk so that was fun too 

15:Talk about the time you were most content in life. Probably just in the middle of junior year when everything and everyone was going with the flow

I feel like 2016 was a very content year because I remember nothing about it. 

16:Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to. Idk which one to talk about the one where I had a lot of fun and risked my life or the one where there was a lot of drama stirred up and drank myself to sadness. 

I haven’t really been to a party? I have gone out and had good times. Really anytime my friends and I go out I am having a good time 

17:Talk about someone you want to be friends with. I am already friends with people I want to be friends with

18:Talk about something that happened in elementary school. I kissed a boy on the back of the head and i told I just fell onto his head

Let me think of another one. Back in like fourth grade my friend was in a wheel chair and his backpack was falling from the back and I was trying to grab it and i was only 3 feet tall i couldnt see over or wasnt paying attention and i crashed him right into the bookshelves at the library. 

19:Talk about something that happened in middle school. A girl was mad at me because idk why lol and she pushed me in the hall way and I fucking flew across that hall on the floor and hit the wall she’s pregnant now

When I was in 5th grade (which is considered middle school in my district) I was standing on the play ground and someone threw a stick at my head and it knocked me the fuck out and I was bleeding from my temple.

20:Talk about something that happened in high school. In Jr. Year I was pulling into the parking lot but I was texting and I accidentally put half my car on grass area near the side walk luckily it was 7am and only one person saw me do it lol

One summer going into our senior year we had a party at Michelle’s house. First of all we were very drunk and Coby’s parents were like we are coming over and we cleaned TF UP so fast and sat on the couch and turned on I Know What You Did Last Summer and his parents were like interesting and and left and then we continued to drink anyways- we started playing truth or dare and my friend Angelica was like I dare u to kiss Anthony (someone I had liked prior) and he wouldnt and we started attacking him and calling him homophobic and hitting him with pillows lmao- him and I are still friend-ish

21:Talk about a time you had to turn someone down. I can’t think of something right now.

Literally anyone on grindr.

22:Talk about your worst fear. I’m afraid of having no career and being stuck doing something I hate and living paycheck to paycheck

Yeah, I’m scared of that still but I.. think just like being broke and jobless. RN with the pandemic we aren’t really working and still getting gov’t assistance, so.  IDK being a real real adult scares me a lot. 

23:Talk about a time someone turned you down. I can’t think of a time :)

One time in like 2016 maybe idk - this dude told me to come over and he lived far like not that far maybe 25 minutes lol far for me anyways I got to his apartment and there was a gate code and i asked him what it was and he didnt answer and it was like 2-3am and nobody was coming in or out and so i was like damn this sucks lmao

24:Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot. Nothing really has meant a lot to me. Everyone tells me the same thing over and over again and its so surface level

I still can’t think of anything but I’m sure the friends I have met since this and my friends Faith, Michelle, Peter, and Alisa have said something supportive that meant a lot to me. 

25:Talk about an ex-best friend. Angelica Ramirez. She was my best friend for only 3 years, but together we went through A LOT of shit. We started out senior year just fine, but she lied about a few things and made a lot of us feel like crap in October. I won’t lie, I do miss her. We have too many memories to just forget, too many funny stories and great adventures. She helped me with too much, and sometimes I think about how I cut her out of my life and I mad a bad choice. But only time can heal things and I have moved on and truly found people that won’t make me mad every 30 seconds. 

Brianna Pajak, I don’t remember anything about her except she was poor and we stopped being friends because she always wanted to fight and be annoying. 

26:Talk about things you do when you’re sick. Lay on bed on my computer and watch TV

I normally just suffer and cry about wishing I was healthy again.

27:Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body. Their…!!>>>??? 

I must have nice hands and ur nose must be nice too! so nose and hands. lol

28:Talk about your fetishes. none

yeah I don’t have any lol not that I can think of. 

29:Talk about what turns you on. Idk i really like kissing and touching and this is awkward. 

30:Talk about what turns you off. bad breath by

that and ugly/rough hands, acne sorry i know it is natural but, shorter than me lol, white people, long hair on guys, and thats about it i think hm i am single yes 

31:Talk about what you think death is like. I think its like idk its scary tho

um idk i dont like thinking about death because i literally want to cry when i think about it. 

32:Talk about a place you remember from your childhood. I remember being in trees a lot

My step grandma’s a lot because my parents were working and she would watch us. She passed away about a month ago :( 

33:Talk about what you do when you are sad. I usually only tell one person and that person is Alisa and I cry sometimes to her and expect her to make things better and she does thank u

I be doing the same thing, I text someone and that person could really be anyone but it happened the other day and I texted Bri and she was very helpful. 

34:Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured. I have no idea, I’ve never broken pulled strained twisted fractures or anything i have no life

I still haven’t done any of that stuff to my body. I also have burn scars but I did not feel those when it was happening. I would just say i guess my wisdom teeth coming in because I did not get them removed. I have 3 out lol.

35:Talk about things you wish you could stop doing. Pushing potential love interests away 

I have had some ‘love interests’ since this post, but it’s been about a year now since and I kind of push away the opportunity of getting close to someone. I also need to stop being a bitch sometimes. 

36:Talk about your guilty pleasures. eating 

I would say idk eating was a stupid answer. 

37:Talk about someone you thought you were in love with. never

I was in love and i didn’t ‘think’ I was in love. I don’t know what you mean by talk about them, they were my partner but we broke up hehe.

38:Talk about songs that remind you of certain people. Fireflies by Owl City reminds me of my 7th grade crush Fancy by Iggy Azalea reminds me of my two friends Michelle and Alisa idk anything else

um Idk. i rly cant think  39:Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier. I wish I would have known that

That it’s okay to tell people you’re struggling lol . That is okay to fail sometimes (school).  40:Talk about the end of something in your life. everything is just about to start

When I ended how to get away with murder I wish I never did I love that show with all my heart. 

#personal

[weaselle]

My parents and their values during Covid

My parents, a retired doctor and nurse, are far from perfect and I spend a lot of time concentrating on their faults... but they are actually really really good, very admirable people, and I thought I’d spend a little time focusing on that.

My mother grew up poor, raised by alcoholics who couldn’t always afford to have enough shoes for all their children. My mother put herself through nursing school as a single mother -- I remember being sick at 5 years old, wrapped in a blanket and sleeping on the floor next to her desk because there was no one to stay home with me and no money for a baby sitter. We used to have to count the slices of salami on our sandwiches for lunch because she had to budget down to the individual slices of lunch meat used per week in order to keep groceries in the house. After graduating, she worked hard, bought her own small house, and wound up raising four children.

So when she reached retirement age and decided she could afford a house-keeper (two sisters, actually) to come clean once every two weeks, well, I figure she’s earned some comforts like that. Over the years, she has been proactive in giving them regular raises, and is always concerned with making sure she is a good person to work for.

This whole pandemic, she has told them to please stay home, while she continues to pay them their usual amount. I’m very proud of her for that, I see a lot of people with opinions on what employers should be doing for their employees during the pandemic, but she’s really putting her money where her mouth is. For months now, every other week, one of the sisters shows up, my mother puts on a mask, walks out front, hands them their payment, wishes them well, and they leave, They have a few times expressed uncertainty about this, maybe feeling guilty, not wanting to take advantage of my mother, but she always assures them that they are not, that they should feel comfortable with being paid, that they are all doing the right thing, that she is spending the same amount of money she had always planned on spending; she asks about the health of their relative in chemotherapy that lives with them, and reminds them she’d never want to do anything that would physically or financially harm that person. “It’s a crazy time, we’re all in this together, we each have to do whatever we can for the people around us” she says. She’s a very good human.

My dad’s father was a doctor. He died when my dad was about 12, and my dad also became a doctor, like his father. When he finished paying off his medical school debt, he bought a house -- one with a studio apartment attached, he’s always had an eye for investment. When he married my mom, they bought a house together and kept the houses they had been living in previously. Those two houses and studio apartment became rentals and part of their retirement plan.

My father is a good man, and a good landlord. He is extremely responsible about maintaining the properties (oh the many times growing up he had me helping him paint or repair fences etc). He always keeps the rent lower than those houses should really go for - he says as a resident of this city who can afford to own more homes than he lives in, it is his responsibility to help ensure there is decent affordable housing available.

When tenants give him a deposit, he invests that deposit in a CD account, which is a no-risk, high-interest investment where the bank pays you a much higher interest rate if you promise to leave your money in the account for a specified amount of time; an amount of time that he matches to the length of the lease, reinvesting it when/if a new lease is signed. When the tenant vacates the property, he gives them the deposit and all the money that investment earned. 

He explained to me that the deposit money is not his, and if he wasn’t holding that other person’s money they could have used it to their advantage. He told me it seemed wrong for him to prevent them from using their own money to benefit themselves that way. He said that if we lived in a just world, where everyone took responsibility for their actions and did the right thing, the deposit wouldn’t be a necessary standard, and he didn’t feel right denying someone use of their own money just because some people in this world can’t be trusted. The law already says that landlords must pay a savings account interest rate on deposits for these reasons (did you know that kids? It’s true, although I’ve literally never known of any other landlord who has done so without threat of lawsuit). But my father didn’t think that was enough, he felt the only moral option was to invest it in whatever would earn the highest amount of money and remain zero-risk, because if they had control of their own money, they could definitely make better investments than a savings account interest rate. in 35 years he has given every one of those deposit investments back with a single exception (his meticulous screening process failed him one time and he wound up with a couple that literally was cooking small batches of meth there, they did a lot of damage).

One of his tenants lived on his property for ten years, left for two years, and then moved back in because he said he’d rather have a longer commute than deal with any other landlord.

All during the pandemic, he has stopped collecting rent.

There are some pandemic provisions for people having trouble with their property if you take the time to go through the tons of paperwork involved, and he has been doing that. He hasn’t talked about it, but I would guess he feels like his properties are his responsibility, and that forcing his tenants to be responsible for the problems this pandemic is causing property owners is passing the buck; it is not the tenant’s fault they are having trouble paying rent, and they certainly can’t be responsible for doing anything about the situation, it is clearly an issue to be handled between a property owner and the bank.

These are my parents. They have their faults, but they are truly good people, and I’m grateful to have been raised with their values.

#my life

[eldritchsurveys]

1062.

Have you ever started reading a book and wondered if you’d read it before? >> IDK where on earth Lane got this survey from but it is long as balls and I’m taking it as a personal challenge at this point lmao. LET’S GOOO I’ve never had this experience, no. I don’t always remember the content of books I’ve read, but I at least remember the experience of reading them, I guess?

What has been bothering you a lot lately? >> Oof. I don’t know how to explain it here so it makes sense to the average reader, so I won’t bother making sense. I want Bruni to be a real, external entity, so badly, but if he’s not then I need to know. I need to know if I just created him, because I needed to, so I can come to terms with that and figure out what to do about it. I’ve also been bothered lately by just... my inability to form connections, to feel the way I’m supposed to feel about other people. Knowing why I’m like this (and knowing that it’s not some inherent flaw of mine but a direct result of not being emotionally taken care of when I should have been) only helps a little. I feel like there’s no way I’ll ever be able to fix this, and my only truly fulfilling relationships will be Inworld, forever. (I guess that’s better than nothing, though! At least Inworld exists.)

What (or who) have you been missing lately? >> ---

Are you trustworthy? >> I mean, I guess. I don’t know what anyone would be trusting me with.

Did your parents teach that white lies were ok? >> No, even a white lie would have gotten me punished.

Have you ever hallucinated? >> Yes.

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? >> Closed, to keep both the cat and noise out.

What flags do you have in your room, if any? >> None. Sparrow has a pretty neat gay flag on her wall and a regular gay flag on her lamp.

What (or who) is the best thing that ever happened to you? >> Hm.

What is the worst decision you ever made? >> *shrug*

Do you miss college? >> I’ve never been.

Have you ever called a teacher “mom”? >> No.

What is your favorite arcade game? >> In the Groove.

Do you feel neglected? >> Not now. But I sure do feel the ramifications of previous forms of neglect.

What school subject(s) are/were your best? >> ---

Are you allergic to grass? >> Nope.

Do you remember to water plants? >> Sometimes. I managed to kill a spider plant, though, so I’m kind of discouraged when it comes to plants. I’ll let that be Sparrow’s thing, I’m apparently unfit.

What season is your birthday in? >> Spring.

Name 3 creative people you know. >> ---

Name 3 YouTubers you aspire to be like. >> ---

What color was your first car? >> ---

What year did you graduate? >> 2004.

When was the last time you saw the person you currently have feelings for? >> ---

Have you ever been scammed? >> Nah.

Are you allergic to pollen? >> No.

What style of wedding dress do you like best? >> Sparrow’s was pretty neat.

Are you over your first love? >> ---

Do you talk on the phone a lot? >> I never talk on the phone.

Would you rather call or text? >> Obviously text.

Do you always answer your phone? >> What do you think?

When was the last time you went to a party? >> I guess January; the get-together after Elle’s wedding was pretty much a party.

What was the last thing you ate? >> Beans and rice.

What’s the last book you checked out from the library? >> I haven’t checked a book out in a while. I heard about a book recently and it wasn’t on Scribd so I decided to check Libby just on a whim (I’m used to the books I want to read never being available as ebooks in this library’s meager collection) and they had it. So I might check it out. I feel kind of anxious about doing it because my reading habits have been so erratic lately and I’m like “but what if I don’t read it fast enough?” which, like, you know, I just... renew it... but no one said anxiety had to be fuckin logical, you know.

Do you have a twitter? If so, what was the last thing you tweeted? >> No.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? >> ---

What’s the last thing you cooked on the stove? >> Eggs.

What color is the cover of the last notebook you used? >> ---

Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? >> Uh... Sparrow, I think.

Who sent the last e-mail you got? >> YES! Magazine.

What song is currently stuck in your head? >> Just some FFXIV music because I just got done playing about an hour ago.

Do you have a favorite shape? >> No.

What color are the sheets on your bed? >> Light grey.

What time do you usually go to bed? >> Between 10 and 11p.

Do you ever use coloring books? >> I’ve done so, but I haven’t lately.

Are you planning on watching the Olympics? >> No.

Do you pronounce the word “often” with or without a “t” in the middle? Hmm. Now that I’ve said it to myself in a few different contexts, it seems I do both. If it’s a one-word answer, like in response to “how much do you get high?” then “often” has a t in it. If it comes in the middle of a sentence and is not the focus, it does not have one. < Yup.

Have you ever been on a trapeze? >> No.

Do you enjoy popping bubble wrap? >> Sometimes. I saved some from a recent package just in case I get the urge, lol. It’s on my desk right now.

Are there any waterfalls near where you live? >> I don’t think so. The landscape isn’t exactly varied here.

Do you like seafood? >> Yes.

Have you ever had to wear a uniform for anything? >> Parochial school.

If so, what did it look like? >> IDK, man, it was a long time ago.

Do you personally know anyone who is an author? >> No.

Do you own a Polaroid camera? >> No.

Do you enjoy baking? >> No.

What’s your favorite type of flower? >> Sunflowers.

Last time (if ever) you were on an airplane, where were you going? >> I was coming home from Houston.

Do you know anyone who is left-handed? >> Sure.

What is something you think is underrated? >> ---

Around what temperature do you consider it to be too hot outside? >> It’s not so much the temperature as the level of humidity, how sunny it is, what time of year it is, etc. There are multiple factors that go into how I experience temperature and the number on the thermometer is only one facet of that.

In what ways do you expect your life to be different one year from now? >> ---

How often do you travel outside of the state/province you live in? >> Not often. Before it was just because it’s expensive and also Sparrow would have to take off work and stuff, and now it’s because of those reasons and also the pandemic.

What’s a hobby you used to have, but don’t anymore? >> ---

What has been your favorite job you’ve had so far? >> Selling merch for local bands at shows.

What’s your favorite kind of salsa/dip to go with tortilla chips? >> Chunky medium-hot salsa.

Do you wash your car by hand or drive through a car wash? >> ---

Where is the farthest north you’ve traveled to? >> This is probably the farthest north I’ve been.

Farthest south? >> I think New Orleans is farther south than Houston, but I don’t feel like looking it up to confirm (or be proven wrong).

East? >> Long Island?

West? >> Colorado.

How often do you run the dishwasher? >> Every couple of days, when it works. (We’re waiting on Maintenance to come fix it, but of course they’re taking their sweet time.)

Do you wash your face at the sink or in the shower? >> I use micellar water, so I just do it in my room. Otherwise I’d do it in the shower because I hate using the sink for that.

Name a stereotype about your gender that you don’t fit. >> Are there agender stereotypes? I haven’t heard of any.

Name a stereotype about your age that you don’t fit. >> Uh... I don’t have kids? Idk.

Do you have any unusual decorations in your home? >> If so, they’re not unusual to me, so...

Do you have any uncommon kitchen appliances, such as espresso machines, waffle irons, etc? >> We do have a waffle iron (Sparrow got one for her birthday). I’m not sure what other kind of appliances are uncommon. Are rice cookers uncommon? I can’t imagine why they would be, they’re so convenient. Unless you just don’t like rice...

What did your parents major/minor in in college, if they went? >> ---

Has either of their careers influenced what career you chose or want to pursue? >> ---

What is the highest level math class you’ve completed? >> Uh... pre-calculus? I don’t remember, man.

How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? >> I don’t remember. Somewhere between five and eight, I guess. Sounds right.

How old were you when you learned how to swim? >> ---

How do you react when someone is rude to you? >> It depends on the situation.

Have you ever had a friend who was too clingy? >> No.

What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? >> Blizzard, I’d imagine.

Why is your least favorite season your least favorite? >> ---

Do you have a Netflix account? >> I do.

Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? >> ---

Where is your favorite place to go on vacation? >> I guess New Orleans.

How long does it take to get there? >> About half a day, including layovers and shit. No direct flights from GRR to MSY.

When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? >> ---

What room in your home do you spend the least amount of time in? >> I don’t really know. I was gonna say Sparrow’s room, and then I was gonna say the kitchen, and then I was gonna say the half-bath... I think the half-bath is probably the most reasonable answer?

What is the last random act of kindness you did? >> ---

Do you do anything to reduce the amount of electricity you use? >> I don’t have to reduce it, I barely use any to begin with.

Are you usually open to trying a new food that you aren’t familiar with? >> Yes.

Do you listen to Panic! At The Disco? >> Yes.

Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity? >> Probably. Not necessarily because I wanted to, sometimes dreams just do weird shit like that.

Is there a song you can’t stop listening to atm? >> No.

Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you couldn’t say it back? >> I guess that’s a way to put it.

If your Facebook status doesn’t get any likes/comments, does it bother you? >> ---

Which friend do you confide in most? >> ---

Do you wear a cross? >> There’s a small cross on my left earring. But I don’t wear, like, a religious cross.

What is your opinion on Arby’s? >> I’ve only had it once, and that was on the way back from Colorado that one time, when the Greyhound stopped at Arby’s. I don’t remember what the food was like, though. Not even sure why I remember that we stopped there at all.

When you have your own kitchen, how will it be done? >> I mean, this kitchen is “mine”? I don’t live with parents or anything, so...? But I don’t have a choice in how it looks or anything, I didn’t build it.

What is your favorite doughnut? >> Apple cider doughnuts, always.

Do you have a hot tub? If so, where is it located? >> No.

Did you read the Twilight series, or jump on the bandwagon after the movie? >> I read the first book ages ago, didn’t care for it, forgot about it (until it blew up in popularity, of course).

What is your favorite party game? >> ---

Do you or your parents rake your yard? >> ---

Were you pro-Obama? >> I didn’t have an opinion at the time, I was busy trying to survive.

What is your favorite scent from Bath & Body Works? >> ---

What was the last illegal thing you did? >> I don’t remember. Probably something like jaywalking. Or watching Bill & Ted Face the Music on an illegal streaming site. 

Who did you last go to the movies with? >> Sparrow.

What color was the last vehicle you were in? >> Silver.

Do you have any family members in the military right now? >> ---

Is there a ceiling fan in the room you’re in? >> Nope.

When was the last time you wished time would move faster? >> I don’t know.

Are there any owls in your room (as decor, of course)? >> Nope.

Have you ever heard voices? >> Not... in that sense. Like obviously I hear the Inworlders’ voices, but... not quite the same thing, I’m guessing.

Do you believe in angels and demons? >> I have not encountered those kinds of angels and demons. I usually use those words as like... shortcut terms rather than references to the actual Christian concepts or whatever.

Who is the worst neighbor you have ever had? >> ---

Did your Barbies go on dates? >> I don’t recall the specific nature of the social playacting I did with Barbies.

If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? >> I didn’t “come out to” anyone.

Where did you meet your first crush? >> ---

Do you remember the first time your first crush ever said hi to you? >> ---

Do you ever go places with wet hair? >> No.

Who is your favorite little girl? >> ---

What do you want the most in life? >> That’s complicated.

What is a decision you’ve made that changed your entire life? >> I don’t know, man.

Do you ever wonder what kind of person you’d have turned out to be if a certain event never happened to you?  >> Absolutely.

When you’re home alone, do you still shower with the bathroom door closed? >> No. I’ve also showered with the door open even when Sparrow was home, I just usually don’t because it’s not necessary (I just use my phone flashlight in that case so it’s not pitch dark and I don’t kill myself in there). But when I’m alone I just leave the door open for the ambient light. Why don’t I use the bathroom light? Because I have Problems and Disorders. Next question.

If you could have anyone’s singing voice, whose would you choose?  >> I like my own.

What are your top 3 favorite genres of music?  >> ---

Where did you buy your dishes from? >> We generally don’t buy dishes. All of our dishes are from either Sparrow’s sister or the wedding registry.

Do you think Mars will be colonized in your lifetime?  >> I doubt it.

What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought that turned out to be a waste of money?  >> ---

What’s something you’ve bought that turned out to be way more useful than you anticipated? >> I don’t know.

Have you ever been on a ship?  >> I’ve been on a ferry and a regular boat. Not a ship.

Do you ever take intentional breaks from checking/posting on social media?  >> Just like... off days, I guess. Sometimes I need time to do other stuff and it’s easier to do that when I don’t have the internet wide open and ready to distract me.

Who was Van Halen’s better singer - David Lee Roth, or Sammy Hagar? >> I don’t have a preference.

Which fictional character has the most memorable quotes?  >> *shrug* ???

What’s a class you did not take in school, but now wish you had?  >> ---

Have you ever been to either of your parents’ workplaces?  >> ---

What do you think of the ‘Healthy At Every Size’ movement/philosophy?  >> I don’t have any thoughts about it because I don’t know what exactly said philosophy entails. The phrase itself doesn’t give me enough information to start forming an opinion around.

Have you ever been bitten so hard that their teeth marks were there after? >> Yeah.

Ever been given a hickey? (Love bite)  >> No.

Ever gave one?  >> I don’t think so.

Are you more of an outgoing type or shy type?  >> ---

Do you think it’s weird if guys wear make-up like eyeliner?  >> .... No.........

Are you self conscious? If so what are you self conscious about?  >> I’m self-conscious about being Weird(tm), having Issues and Problems Disorders, and having differing opinions about things that lots of people think a certain way about.

Are you flirty at all?  >> No.

Are you racist at all?  >> I might have perpetuated racist speech and behaviour, sure. I don’t think that means “I am a racist”, I think that means I’ve learned some fucked up shit from other people and hopefully I’ve learned better by now.

Would you ever date a disabled person? (Be honest)  >> ...

If you found a baby randomly by itself what would you do?  >> Call the authorities, I guess. Like... idk??? That’s such a weird situation to be in.

Would you rather adopt or have your own child?  >> ---

What would you class as cheating on someone?  >> I don’t have a personal definition for cheating because the concept does not apply to me or how I do relationships.

Do you try to be politically correct? >> No.

What’s your favorite kind of sea critter?  >> I’m not sure. There are a lot of cool ones.

Have you ever tasted locally-made honey before?  >> Yep! <3

As far as earrings go, would you rather wear hoops or studs? >> Neither, I like the earrings I have.

Do you find P.E. humiliating, or think schools shouldn’t teach it?  >> I found it obnoxious and boring and a waste of time, but that doesn’t mean schools shouldn’t teach it. I just had a bad time with it for my own specific reasons.

Do you recycle?  >> No.

Are you interested in current world issues?  >> Not particularly.

Do you think you are mature, or immature?  >> ...

What kind of career are you interested in? >> ---

Do you own a pair of sunglasses?  >> I own two pairs. I really want a better pair, like an actual good pair of sunglasses and not just cheapo pairs.

Do you use bobby pins, hair clips, or elastic hair ties? Which?  >> No.

How badly do you get acne? (If at all)  >> I don’t.

What’s the best way to cope with a breakup?  >> ---

If someone dislikes you, what is most likely to be the reason?  >> I said something that ticked them off? I don’t smile enough? IDK, dude?

How many text messages do you have in your inbox atm?  >> ---

When was the last time you had a difficult decision to make?  >> I don’t remember.

In school, what subjects do/did you find the most difficult?  >> English.

Do you still speak to the person you had your first kiss with?  >> ---

Where did you meet the last person you swapped numbers with?  >> ---

Who was the last person to add you as a friend on Facebook?  >> One of Elle’s friends that I met at her wedding.

Who was the last person that asked if you were okay?  >> I don’t remember the last time someone asked me that.

What does your handwriting look like?  >> I don’t know how to describe it.

Do you use any products on your hair, other than shampoo and conditioner?  >> I use a tea tree oil on my scalp and that’s about it.

Who were your best friends in primary school? >> ---

Do you still speak to any of them? >> ---

What was the last thing you bought from a vending machine?  >> I don’t remember the last time I used a vending machine.

What color hair did your first crush have?  >> ---

What type of shoes do you find the most comfortable?  >> No shoes.

Are you more masculine or feminine?  >> ---

If you could design your own mug, what would you put on it?  >> I don’t want to design a mug. I like the ones I already have.

What is the best beach you’ve been to?  >> I’ve only been to the NY ones...

What is one thing you physically can’t do?  >> Run a marathon.

Have you ever been to a funeral? >> Yes.

Have you ever visited your state’s capitol building?  >> No.

Have you ever visited your nation’s capitol building?  >> No.

Do/did you have a favorite seat in church?  >> ---

What is your favorite park?  >> I still really love Central Park. And Prospect Park, too.

Have you ever felt an earthquake? >> A very minor aftershock, once.

Do you chew gum regularly?  >> Not anymore, not after Orbit ruined my favourite kind. :(

Where did you go on your first train ride?  >> I think that was to North Carolina when I was 17.

Do you know anyone with a dual citizenship?  >> No.

What sports teams do you root for, if any? (Extra points for Boston fans.) >> ---

Do you dunk your cookies in milk?  >> Nope.

What is something you are confident about?  >> ---

Have you ever been physically addicted to a substance? What?  >> No.

How do you feel about needles?  >> I don’t have any feelings about them, they don’t affect me either way.

What is your favorite accent to listen to?  >> ---

What was the reason you last got dressed up?  >> Halloween.

Have you ever been the subject of cruel rumors? What were they?  >> Maybe at some point, but I don’t remember now.

Do you prefer loose or form-fitting clothing? What about on your preferred gender?  >> I prefer looser clothing. Not baggy, per se, just looser.

What do you do when you are really, really mad?  >> I don’t know, I haven’t been that mad in so long I have no idea what I’d do.

Would you rather go naked than wear fur?  >> Fuck no????

Do you put a line through your 7’s? What about your Z’s?  >> Nah.

What is one thing that someone could do to you that is unforgivable?  >> *shrug*

Are you able to forgive and forget? >> Mehhhh.

Do you like cold pizza? >> I really do not.

What is your favorite fruit?  >> I’m not sure, I like most fruits.

What about your favorite fruit juice, if it differs from solid fruit?  >> ---

Do you like broccoli and cheese? >> No! Leave broccoli alone, christ.

What about potatoes and cheese?  >> Not really?

Have you written a letter by hand, lately? To whom?  >> No.

Toaster or toaster oven?  >> We only have a toaster, but I would love a toaster oven.

What are you most known for?  >> ---

Do you have any reputations? What are they?  >> Er...

Do you wear band shirts? What band was on the last one you wore?  >> I do. I’m not sure what the last one I wore was.

Do you own any hats? Describe them.  >> I have a plain floppy beanie and I have one that says “I don’t need no body” and it has a dancing skeleton on it, lol.

What about masks, you got any? Describe those.  >> Yeah, I have a raven masquerade mask. I forget why.

What was the last thing to leave you speechless?  >> I don’t remember.

Do your parents like your friends? If they don’t, why not?  >> ---

Have you been called a bad influence?  >> I don’t think so.

Describe your favorite pair of socks.  >> I don’t have a favourite, per se, but here’s a fun pair I have: they say “eat, drink, and be spooky” or something very similar and have a fun Halloween design on them.

Have you experienced any life-changing news, events, etc, lately?  >> No.

Have any self-done piercings?  >> Not anymore.

Ever pierced someone else?  >> No.

Do you get distracted easily?  >> By things like sound and motion.

Is talking to strangers enjoyable for you, or stressful?  >> It can really go either way. Sometimes it’s just neutral.

How do you feel about getting new neighbors? >> I don’t care. They’re probably just going to be loud asses too.

How many ceiling fans are in your home?  >> Zero.

Do you tweet your life away? >> I don’t tweet at all.

How do you feel about shameless self promoting? >> I don’t care?

When reading words. like. this. do. you always pause after the periods?  >> Yeah.

What about screaming when reading something IN ALL CAPS?  >> Yes, which is why I hate when people type like that. There’s a popular blogger on this website that makes all their posts in all-caps and I will never fucking understand it. Like, their content is fun sometimes but I can’t really engage with it because I hate the shouty text!

#surveys #survey #random survey #not for reblogging *glare* #i made it through. dear god #(probably because half the questions i didn't even have answers for)

[nakey-cats-take-bathsss]

10 Questions Tag Game

Rules: Answer 10 questions, ask 10, and tag 10 people however many people your heart desires to answer them.

Tagged by: @burninghoneyatdusk

1. What’s a memory you wish that you could go back in time to and relive?

Ohhh shoot, there’s so many of these I don’t know how I could pick just one. Buuut...when I was little we lived more in the country than we do now and all the houses had these big yards with mulberry trees in the back and a creek that flowed out to the marsh. All the neighbors had girls my age and we used to all run around barefoot in grass and swim the creek and eat mulberries off the tree. My dad built me a tree house in one of the mulberry trees and all my friends used to have secret meetings together in it. It was just this like pure, innocent childhood time and I think if I had to pick just one memory it would be one of those summer afternoons swimming in the creek and catching mulberries off the tree to eat. 

2. If you could talk to your 13 year old self, what would you tell her/advice would you give her?

100% absolutely that she should stop worrying so much about what people think of her. I was so self conscious and critical of myself, I think I held myself back a lot during that time because of it and I regret it a lot. Also that she should join a sport and stop worrying about trying to be ridiculously thin all the time, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. 

3. What’s your favorite quote of all time? Why?

Ooohh so many, but I think I’d have to go with the bible verse I have tattooed on me! 

“The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” -Galatians 5:22-23 

I’ve always interpreted it as that God embodies these characteristics and each of us should strive to walk in that image as well. It really become the way in which I frame a lot of my decisions, especially as I age. Consciousness kindness if you will. I think more than any other quote, this one has the most direct significance to the way I try to live my life and the way I aim to treat others. 

4. What is the quality you value most in a friend?

I really value people who are easy going and go with the flow. My favorite friends are the ones who are always done to do anything and flexible when things don’t go 100% right. 

5. If the pandemic magically ended today, how would you spend tomorrow?

I would hug every single person I’d ever met, go to our local sushi restaurant with my family and go to three Barry’s Bootcamp classes in a row. I would also plan some sort of extravagant vacation because I was supposed to go to South Africa this summer and I’m so bummed it didn’t happen. 

6. If you could go back in time and live in any era & location, and face no danger, where would you choose?

As much as it would probably have been terrible to live in this time period, probably Little Women Era. But like, Amy March-esque where I move to Europe and study art and just sit in gardens and write in notebooks and paint haha 

7. What heroine of a movie, book, tv show, story, or history do you relate to most?

I think Anne of Green Gables, especially the characterization of her that they have in Anne with an E. Always talking, always putting my foot in my mouth inadvertently. So much of that character reminds me of my little weird self from childhood and that part of myself that I’m learning to embrace more as an adult.  

8. Without saying who the person is, what is a question you wish you could ask someone but can’t?

“Where do we go from here?” 

9. In one sentence, what are you personally struggling with right now?

I work in image management and social media curation, with the way people have been lately and our general environment, my job is absolutely headache inducing. I used to absolutely love writing press releases and communicating and getting to meet different kinds of people but lately I find myself getting frustrated more often than not. I’m thinking about going to law school for a change of pace lol.  

I’m also in a pandemic induced long distance relationship which is just about as terrible as you’d expect. 

10. What’s a book/article/story that brought you joy/comfort/healing that you wish others would read?

It’s technically a children’s book, but there’s a novel called “Because of Winn Dixie” but it’s such a beautiful story and it always stuck with me even through adulthood. I read it again recently with my niece and the messaging is so poignant and I think it’s this incredible mix of childhood innocence and the way they view life experiences and mental health. The theme of the book is melancholy and how even bright moments can sometimes be tinged with sadness. Beautiful, a little sad, artfully southern, I think it’s a worthy read even as an adult, especially if you’ve been touched by mental health struggles. 

My Questions...

1. Do you believe in soulmates/true love? 

2. What’s your happy place?

3. If you could befriend one fictional character (book/show/movie) who would it be and why?

4. Song lyrics that apply to your current mental state/state of your life rn

5. What’s something that helps you stay positive even when things get hard?

(Pick 5 of Sam’s to answer if you weren’t already tagged by her because I think these are all really interesting and I’d love to hear your takes.) 

Tagging (feel free to ignore I know these get repetitive but I love y’all): 

@elora-lane @bellamyblakru @natassakar @geekyogicheese @obviesbellarke @dayo488 @queenemori @thefangirlingbarista @changingthefairy-tale @spacewalkerprincess @canadianfangirl @itsmevickyb @wolfheartgirl @jediorgana @ninappon @bellarke-griffinblake @princesspistoffitus

#Personal #nakeycatstakebaths #tag games

[batfamily--headcanons]

Advice for Finishing University Work Right Now

This obviously isn’t Batfam related, but given the situation the world is in right now and that this is where I have the biggest platform (still can’t quite wrap my head around seeing that 5000 number), I’m posting it here.

If you’re like me, you’ve been forced to complete your school year online (this is advice from a university student in regards to my classes, but it could totally apply to high school work too) and working from home during a pandemic is not the easiest thing in the world as we’ve all learned. So here’s how I’ve been coping and what I’ve figured out since I started online classes.

1. It really doesn’t matter what you wear. I’m seeing all these people saying to get dressed like you’re actually going to school and that does not matter. For some people, that works, but I used to do all my assignments in my dorm in my pajamas long before this happened. Although, it might help to take a shower and put on some clean PJs, but you don’t need to dress up for this.

2.Don’t beat yourself up for not being as productive as you usually are. We’re in the middle of a fucking pandemic and that shit is traumatizing. Even if you feel fine, studies have shown that this amount of stress makes your brain work differently. So, it’s not your fault and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. 

3. Find a place to work that works for you. Because I had to move out of the dorms, I’m now back home at my parents’ house and the thing I miss the most is my desk. My big, beautiful desk. It was L shaped and took up almost the entire back wall so there was plenty of room for my laptop, my books, my printer, and a few snacks. I don’t have that at home. We have two desks and neither of them is wide enough to fit both my computer and my textbook. I’ve had to get creative and I turned my couch into a makeshift desk while I sat in my moon chair with a lap desk. They say not to work in bed, but if your bedroom is the only place quiet enough to study in right now, use it. 

4. If it doesn’t distract you, crank up the music when studying. Personally, the only way that I can concentrate is when I have the music as loud as it can go and I’m singing along. It makes working a little less boring. I’ve created an entire playlist just for this and it’s full of the most upbeat songs that I know the best so that I don’t even have to think of the lyrics when singing. Music is a great stress-reliever and it can help your mind from wandering and thinking about the reason that you now have to work from home.

5. Procrastination is going to happen. Just because many of us have nothing but time, it doesn’t mean that we’re able to use it to work. Like I said, this shit is traumatizing and stressful. Every day, the prime minister of my country does a press conference and I watch it every day and in the hours after watching it, I don’t do anything. Some days, you are going to feel terrible and on those days, don’t try to work. Some days, you’ll feel more alert and like yourself again. Spend those days enjoying it and getting some work done too, but not so much that it ruins your mood.

6. If you don’t feel like doing the actual assignment but feel like doing something, go through your notes/course material and highlight/make notes on what you’re going to do your assignment on. For example, I’m doing a paper for my poetry class and yesterday I wasn’t feeling up to writing so I highlighted quotes from the poems that I can use as evidence to back up my thesis. I also found an academic article to use as a source for my paper as well. It’s helped tremendously because now I know my topic and have the evidence right here in front of me so all I have to do is write without interrupting myself to find one of those things.

7. Take breaks!!!! I have never in my life taken a break from working on an assignment unless it was to eat and even then, I forget to do so a lot. However, ever since I’ve been home, I cannot work for hours straight with no break. That’s partly because I don’t have a proper area to study in and partly because my brain is preoccupied with my constant anxiety and fear. Also, when you are literally in pain from looking down at screen or from being hunched over a book for hours at a time, take a break. Don’t “power through” because you have to do this. Being in pain mentally or physically is a reason to stop. 

8. No amount of study tips will get you motivated if you are not in a good place mentally so stop torturing yourself by scrolling through them on tumblr and feeling like shit about yourself because you aren’t as productive as everyone you see online. I say this from personal experience. Plus most of these study tips I see going around are way too fake and overly optimistic for my tastes. That’s why I wrote these down, because they’re honest and they’re real. They view this situation as a goddamn vacation when in reality, it’s a tragedy. A shower and a change of clothes is not going to fix your life, especially now. You not being productive right now isn’t laziness or lack of motivation, it’s because of your mental health.

Hope this helps in some way. I’m just doing the best I can under the circumstances and it’s taken me a while to come to terms with the fact that this isn’t lack of motivation and to stop blaming myself for not getting anything done. Stay safe, everyone!

#studying from home #studying tips #quarantine #not batfam #reece rambles