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#now than it ever did then
hanflix · 2 days ago
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its-monster-mash · 2 days ago
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Paul(The Lost Boys) X Michael’s Ex!Fem!Reader Imagine(Part 1)
Content Warnings: Vaguely Love-Triangley? (Reader and Michael are still good friends and broke up a while before Mike moved, but things are a little awkward because they were each other’s first serious relationship; so he’s more protective than he needs to be, and there might be a few hurt feelings, but I wouldn’t quite call it a love triangle), Brief Sexual Harassment
Part 2
This turned out SUPER long so I’m putting it under a readmore; also I think I’m going to make it a series because I want to go a lot further with this but I suspect I’m going to run out of space soon
• Michael Emerson had been your best friend since you were kids, growing up in Phoenix only a ten minute walk from eachother...if you knew the right shortcuts. You knew all of them, thought you knew everything when you were younger, and you got yourself and Mike into a fair amount of trouble because of it...but he had always been a good kid, and was able to temper your more destructive elements.
• It surprised exactly no one when the two of you eventually started dating, nor did it surprise them when you broke up a few years later. You had always been inseparable, and the love had always been there, but over time you just couldn’t help but feel stifled. You had spent your entire teen years with him, and so many people liked to joke that Mike tamed you...at the rate you were going it seemed like sundresses, picket fences, and a couple of kids weren’t far off in your future...and that scared you.
• Mike was heartbroken when you left him, and for the first few weeks he absolutely held it against you, but due to your shared friends and history your friendship survived. Unfortunately, his parents’ divorce separated your iconic duo once again.
• When Mike’s dad showed up on your doorstep a few days after the move, you tore him a new one for basically abandoning his sons. He set a box on your porch, Mike’s Tools...his Grandpa gave them to him when he was just a little kid and they were one of his most treasured possessions...they were forgotten in the chaos of the move...His dad thought you might visit him sometime...
• That’s what led to you hopping in your shitass El Camino and making the drive to Santa Carla. Lucy had given you their new address before they left...you knew she hoped that maybe you and Mike would get back together some day, but that just wasn’t in the cards. At the end of the day he was just too good, too normal, for you.
• Driving through Santa Carla, you can’t help but be drawn to the sheer...strangeness of it all. Looking at the people, you feel like you actually fit in here. You definitely plan on hanging around the town for a while.
• Mike isn’t home when you get to his Grandpa’s house, but his mom could not be happier to see you. It’s a bittersweet reunion for you; she had been more of a mother to you growing up than your own parents, but after breaking her son’s heart you just don’t feel like it‘s right for you to call her “Mom” like you used to. She has a million questions, and she even suggests you stay with them for a while...you politely decline.
• You didn’t tell her that sleeping in your beat-up old car was preferable to her hospitality, but it would just be too weird, with how recent your breakup was. You and Mike are still friends, but you think sleeping under the same roof might be weird for him
• You still want to see him though, so you decide to explore the town on foot for a while; maybe run into him. You’re wandering around when you hear a familiar voice coming from the open door of a comic book store.
• As soon as you walk in you see the unmistakably garish patterns of Sammy Emerson’s signature style and break into a wide smile. “Long time no see, huh kid?” Almost the second he sees you he practically knocks you over with a hug, backing away in embarrassment after a second of thought. You and Mike were already best friends by the time he was born, so Sam was almost as much your little brother as he is Mike’s.
• “Now What was that about Vampires?” You had overheard Sam and the Frog brothers when you walked into the store...Sam rolls his eyes, and the Frogs assail you with some insane story about how the town is overrun with vampires. Some imaginations these kids have.
• You bail out of there pretty quick in favor of wandering the boardwalk, seeing what Santa Carla had to offer...before you know it, the sun is starting to set
• Maybe going out alone in “The Murder Capital of The World” wasn’t your smartest decision, but you weren’t exactly known for your self preservation; that had always been Mike’s job...but he isn’t here now.
• You grimace as you notice a group of surfers take notice of you. You had wandered a bit aways from the main crowd, so you aren’t sure anyone would notice if things went south... “Hey Sweetie.”
• “Get Bent.” You sneer as they close in on you. “Awe well that’s not very polite,” the leader says, giving your ass a firm squeeze. “You should try being a little nicer.”
• You humor him with the sweetest smile you can muster as you stomp as hard as you can on his foot. He calls you a bitch and you flinch as his fist flies toward you.
• You open your eyes when the hit never comes, and are shocked to see that someone had caught the guy’s fist. You look up at him and your cheeks flush; when was the last time you saw a guy this handsome? “This guy bothering you, babe?” He asks as he squeezes the guy’s fist so tight you hear something pop. The guy falls to his knees and gasps in pain as his friends back away nervously. You smile wickedly. “Not anymore.”
• You watch the douchbags storm away with their wounded pride, shouting empty threats, only distracted when your Knight in Shining Tight-Pants tucks your hair affectionately behind your ear. “So what’s a pretty thing like you doing alone in a town like this?”
• You bite your lip, eyeing him appreciatively; now that you could get a good look at him you can tell he is definitely your type...and you hadn’t been with anyone since you broke things off with Michael. “Hoping to run into an old friend, but I haven’t seen him.”
• He grins, clearly appreciating your look. “That’s too bad, wanna make some new friends?” His eyes are fixed on you with a certain hunger, there’s a palpable danger to him; it excites you.
• You shift your stance flirtatiously, leaning into him ever so slightly. “That depends, are they all as cute as you?” He pokes his tongue into his cheek with an amused grin. “Almost.”
• He takes your mischievous smirk as agreement, and throws an arm around you, leading you back to where his friends are gathered by their bikes. “This the chick you ditched us for?” The curly-headed blond asks, humor in his tone.
• “Well I for one am grateful for the timely rescue.” You grin. “How grateful?” The blond on the bike asks, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively; making you laugh. Your hero slaps at him playfully, and the favor is returned.
• Seemingly the leader of the group, the spiky-headed blond interrupts the roughhousing. “Paul, Marko, knock it off and let’s go.”
• Paul nods, climbing onto his bike and grinning at you seductively. “You wanna go for a ride, babe?”
• His smile is infectious, and his innuendo isn’t lost on you. Maybe it’s not your safest decision, but you climb on the back of his bike; earning a loud “HELL YES.” From him, and hooting and hollering from Marko.
• “Make sure you hold on tight babe, I’m about to take you on a ride you’ll never forget.” “Shut up and drive,” you tease as you wrap your arms tightly around his midsection.
• They all laugh deviously as they rev their motors to life, and you’re glad you’re holding on tight, nearly falling off when they take off from 0 to 100. “HOLY SHIT!” “What’s the matter sweetheart, can’t handle a little speed?”
• “That all you got?!” You ask, acting tough. It was a mistake though. “That all you got, Paul?” Marko asks, mocking you. “I dunno girl, I think that’s all he’s got.” The big brunette says, first time he’s spoken since you met the boys. “Fuck off, Dwayne!” Paul shouts. The leader gives his engine a rev, egging Paul on. You scream, forced to cling tightly to his back as his bike tears into the night. Marko pulls up next to you, mimicking you with a falsetto squeal.
• “Damn babe, already screaming for me,” Paul teases over the roar of his motor. You’d sass him back if you weren’t too busy burying your face in his back for dear life. You’d ridden on the back of Mike’s bike plenty of times before, but he was never this reckless. You’re as terrified as you are thrilled.
• By the time you start to get used to the speed, the boys are slowing down, and much to your surprise, they pull right up to Michael, who is standing with a girl you haven’t met. His eyes snap to you instantly and go wide with confusion, he hadn’t even been aware you’d come to town. “(Y/N)?”
• “This that friend you were looking for?” Paul asks. “Yeah, (Y/N), care to introduce us to Star’s new friend?” “David please.” You watch the exchange a bit uncomfortably, shifting on the bike, arms still around Paul. “Yeah...Hey Mike, I uh, your old man dropped your tools off at my place so I took them up to your mom.” Your chest feels impossibly tight. You aren’t jealous to see him with a new girl, but you had hoped that maybe he’d be a little happier to see you here...and him, the earring and that jacket...it doesn’t feel like Mike at all. Paul can feel you shrink against him.
• “Hope I’m not stepping on any toes here,” Paul says, giving your thigh an unsubtle squeeze; deliberately antagonizing Michael. You smile a bit awkwardly as Mike scratches the back of his head in discomfort. Star looks between the two of you, avoiding eye contact with David. “No, Mike and I used to date but...” “But it’s over,” Mike says, a bit too shortly, trying to cover the awkwardness with an unconvincing smile.
• David shoots him a not-all together-friendly look. “Well, you seem to be moving on well enough,” he says, gesturing to Star, who shrinks beside him. “So’s (Y/N),” Paul interjects, looking over his shoulder to smile at you. You smile back at him, despite the awkwardness.
• “We should go, Star,” David urges. Star hesitates, but climbs on the back of his bike. Michael looks mortified, and you can’t help but feel awful for him. You’re shocked when David nods his head toward Mike’s bike. “Come with us, Michael.”
• You know the look on Mike’s face; his first instinct is to back out, avoid trouble...but then he looks at you, and he looks at Star; like he’s worried what will happen to you if he doesn’t come along. “Mike,” You don’t have to come, you start to say, feeling Paul tense in your arms. “I’m coming.”
• “This is gonna be so sick,” Marko says with a practically manic grin, before Dwayne swats him upside the head. “Don’t be an ass.”
• “Don’t forget, (Y/N), hold on tight,” Paul says, side eyeing Michael a little less than subtly. Mike rolls his eyes and you shrug apologetically. This is awkward, for sure, but one way or another you want to see this through. Paul and the boys seem cool as hell, and at the very least seem like a good way to get back on the horse after getting over a long relationship.
• You squeeze Paul a little tighter, heart pounding against his back. He revs his engine. “You ready, babe?”
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deeisace · 6 days ago
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I never watched Supernatural passed uhhh an season finale maybe or like y'know a big bit, where the world was ending and they were in a church? Outside a church and the sky was falling?
I feel like that could be any one'v em
Like, there was Cain? And that big knife made out of a jawbone but like badly? Thing didn't even look sharp but the guy killed so many other guys, wth. I was passed the whole of that, I feel like
Anyway I always see a whole bunch of supernatural stuff on my dash still, I sorta want to go back and watch the first episode?
Idk I will, I have Primeval to watch yet, and line of duty I think it's the last episode tonight? It was interesting I guess, that is the sort of shows I watch sometimes, but I'm mostly watching it to have smth to talk to my boss about on delivery shift days :/
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beamscoring · 7 days ago
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lmao i am talking to ASB again BUT SOMETHING IS OFF
#gay struggles#i decided to apologize for giving him the cold shoulder for a new days#because he doesn't have to like to talk to me just because i think he's cool#and i don't like having bad blood with ppl who didn't actually do anything bad to me#and then he was like 'it's fine i just don't talk much i like to stay alone'#and i confirmed if it was like if i kept starting conversation and he said yes so?#but idk it really feels like he doesn't really enjoy when i start to talk?#not that he actively starts talk with literally anyone ever but it doesn't seem as bad when other people bother to talk to him lol#also he is sooooooo weird with one thing and i need commentary#every free moment he has he is on instagram but i haven't found his profile???#like i didn't bother to look for CEB when i first had a crush on him because that's a quick way to get disillusioned#but ASB is sooooooo averse to talking and so awkward that i just want to know anything?#why is instagram so relevant and yet he doesn't use his name nor does he have any of his woekmates and yes i did some csi-ing#he doesn't have facebook either#like if it was just scrolling the feed i'd just think 'burner account' and it would fit the 'hates talking to people' thing#but i am sure hr was DMing someone one time we were having lunch WHO are you DMing without using your name it's instagram not tumblr lmao#why did i crush on someone even more inscrutable than the previous ones my therapist must be like 'i am homophobic now'#also yes CEB is fine but i think he might have noticed i am less anxious around him now#and weirdly he seems to be a bit more awkward towards me these days rather than less? idk i might be imagining
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gonnametcha · 10 days ago
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memories that make me wanna die
#when he told me he'd die without me#i didn't want him to. i'm glad he didn't. but was i so easy to replace? when all ive been thinking about is him#i keep pretending#i've been pretending. and i'll keep pretending#but if i could see him one last time#i'd probably slap him in the face. or punch him. and then i'd start crying and i'd say something like. i KNOW!!#i know EYE am to blame!! ive been hating myself for weeks because of what i did!! tyvm!! but i did it cause we needed some time off!! and!!#we were so toxic to each other!! but now that we took a step back!!#i know for sure that you were the one!! i told you i'd come back and you didn't believe me and now you're!!#in love with someone else as if that was THAT easy!! as if i was THAT easy to replace!! you've been lying to me all this time haven't you!!#and then i'd cry even louder and i would tell him to go fuck himself because that's how things work.#and he'd tell me that he doesn't give a FUCK what i think or feel cause he's happier now than he's ever been yadda yadda yadda#that's how i picture it at least. i have to imagine it cause i know i won't ever see him again.#yes i want you to be happy! yes i'm glad you found someone else to treat you right! yes i want to punch you and break your nose!#that didn't work out anyway. we couldn't get along for the life of us#it's better this way trust me i know#i'm better off without him but i'm still allowed to grieve aren't i#i don't NEED him or anything actually i don't need a man to take care of me to love me or whatever#i can take care of myself and love myself and i don't have time for a relationship cause i'm busy with college and my studies will always be#more important than a 'love story'. plus i have amazing friends that i want to give all my attention to#as i was saying i don't need anyone and i don't need him but what we experienced together was enough for me to feel a bit sad#i'm sad things couldn't work out fine. but it's okay#i have to accept that it's okay to part ways with people that were very very important at some point in your life#it's okay to part ways with people that you loved very deeply. it's okay. that's just the way things are. you'll lose people and you'll meet#other people that can love you just as much; that can love you better. that's the way things are. and it's important to remember that those#who leave will end up becoming complete strangers and they don't KNOW you. you think they do but they just knew the person you were#when they still had a place in your life. but you're not the person you were 2 months ago or 8 months ago or 2 years ago#you change and no matter how important they were to you now they don't KNOW you#sighs. what i'm saying is that we're strangers to each other. and i cannot keep loving someone who doesn't exist anymore#that's why i'll move on and get over it. but fuck you though
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lilac-midnight-heart · 11 days ago
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screams
#BAZINGA!#midnight mic nd aizawa heart eyes 4 u all only xoxoxo#hiiii sorry if this shows up in any tags#but god my patience rn is so thin with bnha wth. yknow i wanna see how it ends but ngl im NOT vibing with how its going rn#i just want to see aizawa nd mic. dont get me wrong. deku is fine or watevr but >:( i wanna know how they're doing ALSO UM. HELLOOOO!!!???#WHATS GONNA HAPPEN W OBORO/KUROGIRI. HI BESTIE YOU CANT JUST FUCKINNNN. INTRODUCE THAT AND NEVER MENTION IT AGAIN!??!!! HELLO!???#WHAT THE FUCK. I REALLY FUCKING HOPE WE SEE WHATS GOING ON W/THE ROOFTOP BOYS.#also even if i did drop bnha id be forced to finish it w/my parents bc its either this or i get forced to watch big bang theory.#that's not even a joke. thats why i finished vld is bc it was either vld or and believe me i didn't want to watch either#but my parents can have AWFUL taste and *sighs* they got me into bnha so ig as long as im living here im keeping up w/it. i still enjoy bnha#but *sighs* i dont like where we're going rn besties!!! like i said. midoriya is v near and dear to my heart but sometimes im sick of my boy#THAT AND FFS WE HAVE THE KUROBORO SITUATION GOING ON??? ARE AIZAWA ND MIC GONNA HELP HIM MORE??? I WANT ANSWERS.#now that dabi is 100% confirmed a todoroki (but deadass we already knew) i want to see kurogiri again. i wanna see whats up w/him nd my boys#you cannot tell me the last time we're ever getting to see present mic is with aizawas fucking foot in frame. you have to be kidding me.#id be so fucking pissed if this is our last time seeing him. im currently seething with rage at the idea btw.#theres only a handful of characters i care abt and outside of those 10 who cares bestie 💖#i deadass counted bc i knew it was more than 4 characters but yea i don't care much abt too many characters outside of my faves#even then rooftop gang and erasermic family top priorities. THE priorities!!!!#i am so fucking biased btw. tbf TBF yeah like. 90% of the bnha content i consume surrounds the members of the rooftop gang specifically#hell even before oboro was introduced i was like and now oboro is apart of that 💖#also vigilantes fucks so hard. smth abt it goes harder than the main series. listen i love midoriya but i love koichi more.#probs bc we're both young college students and struggling as young adults. but yeah vigilantes is good actually#anyways my griping is over. i feel like pure shit i just want them (mic nd aizawa) back#arra speaks
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galadriiel · 17 days ago
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there is a very fine line between "alright i'm pretty exhausted and i'm way past caring about anything so i might as well use this time to email back someone i've been ignoring for weeks seeing as i'm not riddled with anxiety for once" and "i'm actually high on exhaustion and spouting bullshit and shouldn't be allowed anywhere near my phone" and i toe it almost every night but i only ever know whether i crossed it the next morning when i face the consequences of my actions
#i get so talkative when i'm tired i actually annoy myself so much i always get this sudden motivation to text like five people#and make like ten posts on here but i've learned to uh not do that because i always regret it the next day but maybe i should just#go ahead with the email because cringing at my reply in the morning is still better than stressing about it all day for another day#god i am such a mess!!!!! but it can't get any worse so i might as well go ahead with it#anyways sorry i'm rambling!!! like i said i get increasingly annoying the more sleep deprived i am honestly 90% of the personal#posts i've made on here fit into the second category hbfjdvfjd i hardly ever talk on here when i'm not procrastinating sleep#ok i'll shut up now and write the email and i'll probably cringe at it in the morning but idc!!!#angie.txt#okay update no one asked for#i did it and it wasn't even as awful as i thought it'd be idk why i was dreading it so much!!! i probably sounded really cringe#and overenthusiastic though but what matters is that it's done!!! it wasn't even af unpleasant email or anything i've just been#procrastinating replying for so long it was getting embarrassing and i was running out of time and i was so stressed about it#and every day i'd jusr internally scream at myseld about it and then pointedly not do it because i was to scared to even open it#how am i 19 i'm honestly so incompetent i hate myself i keep doing this for no reason and idk how to stop!!! i just constantly ghost#people abd then feel bad about it but get so stressed about how long it's been that i don't end up replying for like forever yikes#okay that's all i'm gonna go and actually get some sleep now bye i'm so sorry if you#actually read all of this it's probably like 90% incoherent and not worth your time
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oncewasamadhouse · a month ago
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I... don’t have any fearless merch 😔 but I did find a picture of myself from when I was 11 when Fearless came out ignore the tiara; it’s from a Dance recital... where I danced to Love Story IIRC actually so me then and me now, and I’m VERY excited to relive my childhood tonight, headfirst fearless 💛💛
I first became a fan of Taylor like... a month before Love Story was released so fearless is an album that really defined my childhood and I used to have this potable CD player and I’d just play the album over and over again often making up stories for my littlest pet shop toys to go with them so this just- it means A LOT to me.
They/them
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sal108 · a month ago
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#wait why did suf spend like 70% of its run time being like#'mental illness such as depression and trauma make your entire existence inherently unacceptable and harmful --#-- and turns you into a dangerous animal a sub-human grotesque monster --#--and your negative emotional responses to being hurt are a bigger sin than others hurting you ever was'#and like... just kept beating the audience over and over with that until it was sure to be internalised.#it's been more than a year after it ended and I still...#I hate myself for not having killed myself yet because t's the only way to make sure I will permanently cease from harming the world#with my mentally ill neurodivergeng unacceptably harmful exustence.#suf made a lot of the things thaf used to help my mental health unaccessible too by making them into triggers#and made the entire concept of mental health issues into this... recursive trigger#like... a doctor I talked to says that it sounds like I have ptsd and now because of suf that's such a horrible association#I haven't been able to talk to any mental health professionals after that and I dread the next time and worry about it being traumatic#and if/when I do have a trauma response... that will remind me of the suf experience and how it framed trauma responses#as this horrible awful sinful evil unacceptable monstrous thing bad bad bad I'm bad evil tainted wrong dangerous monster#and that's how a trauma responsd will trigger a further trauma response and I will need to self harm to punish myself#for the trauma response#and isolate from everyone and everything because existing near anyone else while traumatized is harmful to them#and I'm too AFRAID to try to pursue anything that would give true positive emotions because like...#SU did. and then at the end it punished me for that.#anything else could just... do that too.#I feel guilty about feeling okay about things. like... I son't deserve it and am too stupid to even realise thatthe thing is not --#-- for me to feel okay about. things are not supposed to make ME happy. I'm supposed to be hurt. if I'm not hurt I'm doing it wrong.#and the thing will have to change to hurt me more if I don't realise otherwise and make the mistake of gaining undeserved -#--positive emotions from it even though that was wrong I was wrong I was unacceptable stupid mistaken grotesque monster.#before suf I had done a lot of work to stop hating myself. suf burned it all.#I have nothing left. I've had to abandon so much of myself because it was all unsalvageably tajnted by su/f ssociations.#even things that shouldn't be connected but my brain finds ways to associate them somehow.#I try to find other things to enjoy but it's all full of anxiety and guilt and the knowledge that I'm not truly allowed to enjoy it#and the expectation that it will crash and burn and turn out harmful and I will only have myself to blame because I should have known#to not engage. not enjoy. stop doinb it.
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