#nov 2022 is a long time from now but i can wait | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hisunshiine · 1 year

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—late night talking | kth

→ posted: nov 22, 2022 → pairing: kim taehyung x reader → genre/au: strangers2???, camboy!au, fluff, smut → chapter rating: +18 / M for Mature → wc: 4,059 → warnings: taehyung is still hot, sexual talks via social media platform messaging, exhibitionism via internet, mutual masturbation, fingering, use of sex toys for masturbation, syncing sex toys for long-distance sex, use of pet names, praise, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, begging, sex crying, minimal daddy/babygirl vibes, feelings. → credits: thank you to @peachiilovesot7 and @downbad4yoongi for your feedback on this chapter! i know i ended up changing things so it may come as a surprise if you read this after it’s posted, but thanks to @heathfritillary, she was able to give me the info i needed to do what i originally planned! → taglist: @bts-ruu → summary: ‘we’ve been doing all this late-night talking about anything you want until the morning, now you’re in my life, i can’t get you off my mind.’ KTH is your favorite camboy, & you’ve just been chosen as the winner of his contest. The winner gets to have their fantasy play out, with a twist and a gift...the platform is testing a new ability to allow the content creators to also see their subscribers in real time. → an: excited about camboy tae and can’t stop writing apparently. once again it includes the text under the images for those who need accessibility options! enjoy!! i recommend reading part 1 first!

part 1 | series masterlist

The last few hours at work have been hard for you to focus. Your mind is full of your upcoming session with KTH, your favorite camboy. After the initial shock has worn off from one, him privately messaging you, and two, announcing you as the winner of the contest, you begin to lightly panic about what it would be like.

‘So not only will you be able to see me, but I’ll be able to see you, too.’

Those words circle your brain religiously, almost becoming a mantra. You make sure that the date aligns with your wax appointment, and you even splurge a little to get a mani-pedi so that you can feel as confident as possible when the time comes for you to appear on each other’s screen.

Checking your phone, you see he’s sent you another message. Your heart can’t help but flutter; quick palpitations at the way his username lights up your screen with ‘One New Message’.

Ever since he sent that initial private message to you, saying that you had won the event, he’s sent you additional flirty texts and even pictures of him that you feel should be a paid benefit with how risqué they have been. But you have sent other pictures back to him, answering his questions about how ready you are for today, and you think his words have only served to rile you up, which is probably his goal.

He’s kept constant communications all throughout the day, and it’s hard to separate the delusional part of you that feels like this is oddly like you are in the talking phase with someone. But you remind yourself each time you slip: you pay KTH monthly as a subscriber. This is just the first time you’ve felt like you’re getting much more than your money’s worth for it.

Opening his message, you squeeze your thighs together as you abandon your last email for his flirty communications.

[start of image words]

KTH: I’m excited for tonight, are you? You’ve been such a tease this week, I didn’t know you would make me wait this long.

[end of image words]

You chuckle at his words. He thinks you’re the tease?! He’s insane.

[start of image words]

KTH’s Baby Girl: I had work and wanted to make sure I could give you all of my attention. Plus, I think practicing patience is a good thing.

KTH: Oh, my baby girl, I’ve learned this week that I am anything but patient when it comes to you.

KTH: I bet you haven’t been patient either, bet you’ve touched yourself at least once this week.

KTH: I have.

[end of image words]

You feel the way your panties grow wet from reading his words. This man is too good at raising your blood pressure, making you all hot and bothered.

[start of image words]

KTH’s Baby Girl: If anyone is a tease, sir, it is you. I’m about to leave work now, and then I’ll be home, okay? You don’t have to wait much longer.

KTH: Hurry, baby. My cock is throbbing waiting for you.

KTH: [image sent]

[end of image words]

Logging out of your desktop computer, you grab your purse and hurry out of the office, barely acknowledging your coworkers and boss as you take your leave for the weekend.

Sliding backwards away from his computer desk, Kim Taehyung sighs. He hasn’t been so enthralled with someone in a long time, not since his last relationship. He won’t lie, he’s always been a sucker for a partner who’ll yield to him in the bedroom, so it was no surprise to him that when he saw your entry to the contest that it was immediately his number one choice. But when you completed your profile and Taehyung was able to see what you look like? Hook, line, and sinker.

And with the little biographical info that the platform allowed him to see about you, he learns you are in the same time zone. What if…Taehyung shakes his head, not wanting to get his hopes up. He has to focus on the session that he’s about to do with you.

Standing up, he puts his hardened cock back into his pants, adjusting himself after sending you that picture. He can’t help it. You just make him so horny, make him want to do so many things…he feels like he wants you all the time. As a content creator, he knows he shouldn’t provide you with the pictures for free, not to mention the flirty messages all week, but he’s enjoyed getting to know a little more about you, texting throughout the evening and into the wee hours of the morning about things unrelated to his line of work.

Taehyung likes knowing about your day, and it helps him understand how a gorgeous woman like you ended up a subscriber of his and not spending your nights with a boyfriend instead. Busy with work, no time to get out and meet men your age who have similar interests and goals, the usual bullshit women your age are dealing with. Taehyung can’t help but want to make you happier.

You had told him that he did, that his live streams are the stress relief at the end of a long week at work, that they make you feel better if you’re feeling down, but it’s starting to not feel like enough. It’s weird to Taehyung, because it’s only been a week, but there’s just something about you…

He walks around his apartment, gathering the candles and thumbing through his phone until he finds the playlist he prepared specifically for you. He has filled it with songs you sent him all week that fit the scene you wanted, and a few he added that he knew you’d like. Despite your dream being one where you please him, he knows it will be truly symbiotic because he’ll be happiest if you experience pleasure as well.

He has a bit of a caretaker kink, and he knows that it’s probably playing into why he’s so enraptured by you. And yet, the more he thinks about it, the more he doesn’t see how it can be a bad thing. If Taehyung is honest with himself, he thinks that you might be everything he’s looking for, and tonight’s session might just solidify that for him.

[start image words]

KTH’s Baby Girl: I’ve made it home safe! I bought the stuff you told me too, so I’ll get showered and set up.

KTH: That’s my good girl.

[end image words]

Carefully toeing off your shoes from work, you can’t ignore the way your heart beat picks up as you begin to imagine what’s to come. After putting away your things, you grab the new candles you bought in the scent KTH told you to get, and place them atop the thick headboard you purchased from IKEA. Your trusty toy is fully charged and laid on your mattress, ready for use next to a secondary one you received in the mail from the camming platform this week.

Last week, KTH informed the powers-that-be that you were the winner, and so they reached out to you directly to mail you something from KTH himself to be of use for the session today. You’re excited to try it out, because you’ve heard of this brand before and because it’s something KTH chose specifically for the two of you to explore and enjoy together.

Your shower is quick, and you watch the time to make sure you aren’t going to be late to the session. KTH already told you how he expects you to present yourself when you two finally join the server, and you wrap the towel around your chest, tucking the edge into the top to keep it secure. You release your hair from where it’s piled on top of your head, letting it rest in its natural state.

[start image words]

KTH’s Baby Girl: I’m just about ready, is there anything else you need for me to do?

KTH: No, baby, you’ve done so well. I’m proud of you. I’m sending you the invite for the session now, join once you’re ready. I’ll be waiting.

[end image words]

Smiling at his words on your phone, you adjust the small TV dinner tray that you’ve placed at the end of your bed for tonight. You take one last look around your room making sure it’s clean and light the candles at the head of your bed. Climbing onto your bed, you move your fingers on the mousepad and login once prompted.

The invite link stares at you as you move your cursor to click it. You take a few deep breaths, trying to calm your heart before putting in your earbuds and pressing the touchpad.

The screen changes as it begins to load the camera, prompting you to allow use of your camera and microphone. You click allow, and the large box that you usually see KTH on appears, but now you can see yourself. It prompts you to connect when ready, and you can see that KTH is already in the session room.

You hate that you already did calming techniques before clicking the link, because it was a false alarm. Now is when you will really come face-to-face with KTH. As face-to-face as a screen allows. There’s nothing to worry about, you tell yourself, he’s been nothing but sweet all week and you’ve sent him pictures. If he wasn’t interested in this, he had all week to back out.

Moments after clicking you become the small screen in the corner and the large screen slowly loads until KTH appears, shirtless with his floofy hair falling across his forehead.

“Hi baby girl,” he greets you with his baritone.

“Hi KTH,” your response is low, a little stuttered as you pronounce each letter as if his name is kay-tee-aych.

“Hmm…I think we’re close enough that you can call me by my real name.” His following smirk causes your core to throb. “I think I’d rather hear you say that when you cum tonight.”

You nod, cheeks warm at the thought.

“Baby girl, are you okay?” KTH chuckles at you; he loves watching the way you squirm so early in the interaction. You’re just as beautiful as the pictures you’ve sent him, and he can’t wait to see you squirm for real once you actually get started.

“Yeah,” you reply softly, “I’m just nervous.”

“Don’t be. You’re in good hands.”

“I know.”

He hums, a knowing look shared through the screen at the knowledge. This isn’t your first time entrusting your orgasm to him.

“Now, be a good girl and tell me your name.”

“It’s YN.”

He repeats your name, the sounds of each syllable rolling off his tongue languidly—you’ve never heard your name sound quite so sinful.

“Nice to meet you, YN. I’m Taehyung.”

It suits him, his name.

“Taehyung.”

He likes the way you say his name a little too much, and can’t wait to hear you cry out for him.

“Now YN, go ahead and take that towel off for me, let me see you.”

You obey, slowly pulling the edge free and unwrapping yourself for him, like a present. He cues the playlist, sexy music flowing into your earbuds as you do a little dance for him as you unrobe.

“Mmmm, you’re gorgeous, baby.”

You preen at his praise, and he continues to guide you until your laptop is angled so you’re laying down with legs splayed open for him so he can see your glistening folds, but also so that you’re still able to see him.

“Show me how you get yourself ready for me, fingers only. Just don’t put any in yet.”

Taehyung sits back and watches your pristinely manicured fingers rub circles on your clit, two fingers dipping down across your leaking entrance to gather your slick and spread it around until everywhere feels wet and your core throbs from being empty. He’s fascinated by you, by how wet you were before even starting, just because of him.

He palms at himself, his arousal having not fully eroded from when he sent you the picture earlier.

“You look so pretty baby, did you get your nails done just for me?”

“Yeah—wanted to look good for you,” you pant out softly, voice breathy from how good it feels to toy with your clit and watch Taehyung. It’s a literal dream come true, something you didn’t know you wanted until you won this prize.

“Good, baby, you follow directions so well. Now I want you to slowly enter that tight cunt of yours, show me how you swallow those tiny fingers so I can know how it will be once I finally get to feel you.”

Your reply to that loaded statement grows hazy as you fill yourself, whimpers escaping from the loss of contact to your clit as you slowly fuck yourself with your fingers while he watches. His eyes are focused on you, chest rising a bit faster as he takes in the way you begin to thrust inside of you.

“Fuck Taehyung, it feels good, but I know it’d feel better if it was your fingers.”

He grunts, now fully stroking his cock following the same speed he’s watching you take your fingers with. It takes only a moment for him to add some lube to the donut-shaped pussy sleeve he used last time, and the sound of each stroke has your eyes turning to the screen, watching his movements closely. It’s easy to pretend that it’s him filling you up, but part of you knows it would be fuller, feel better, if he was actually here with you.

“You said your toy has a dual function, right?”

“Uh-huh,” you mewl, and he tells you to trade in your fingers for the toy, turning on both parts.

“It will make me cum so fast, though,” you complain, not wanting it to be over so soon.

“That’s okay, baby. I want you to cum four times tonight.”

You gasp as your fingers press the buttons and the inner vibration and suction to your clit begins, but you also gasp at his words. Four orgasms in one sitting?

“I don’t—shit, I’m not sure I can,” you pant, body convulsing slightly as the feeling builds. Taehyung begins to speed up his strokes, and your eyes never leave sight of his beautiful cock, lengthy and thick, the tip growing angrier as he neglects it for the shaft.

“If you’re a good girl, like I know you can be, you will.”

His voice is domineering, and you fall apart a few moments later, pleading for Taehyung as your climax takes over your senses.

“Oh fuck, YN, you’re beautiful when you cum, you’re so good for me.”

Your fingers fight to turn off the toy, but his next command stops you.

“Don’t you dare, baby. Leave it, let the pain turn to pleasure and let me watch you fall apart again.”

You want to be a brat and rebel, but you also want to be good for him, because you want to be his good girl, his only girl.

“T-Taehyung…nngggghh, it’s too..too much…” you can’t help but to buck your hips as you writhe from the feeling. The suction overwhelms your swollen clit and that, alongside the vibrations, causes your body to shake from the sensation.

“C’mon kitten, you can take it. If I was there with you, you’d have no choice, and my cock is much bigger than that tiny thing.”

He was right and you knew it.

“Baby girl, touch your breasts, lick your slick off of your fingers and tease those perky nipples for me.”

You do as he says, hands traveling up your stomach until they cup your breasts, palming them as you press them together before wetting your fingers on your warm tongue and circling your nipples. You can taste yourself, heightening your arousal. Taehyung groans, the sight of your body taking such immense pleasure while calling out for him making his night.

“Taehyung…I’m gonna cum again, I can’t—”

“That’s okay baby, let me have it, I want this one too.”

You cry out his name and he shudders, slowing his strokes as your thighs quake in ecstasy, because how you sounded just then was almost enough to have him joining you, blowing his load two orgasms too early.

“Please, sir,” you beg him, eyes brimming with unshed tears as you turn to look at the screen. He can see a tear fall, rolling down into the mattress as your hands grip the sheets at your waist.

“Kitten, what was your fantasy that won you today’s session?”

“I…” you can’t talk, whimpering from overstimulation as you attempt and fail to answer him.

“Remember, it was that you wanted me to show you what to do to please me, wanted to follow what I said and be my good girl, yeah?”

“Mmhm,” you agree with a hum.

“What would please me the most is to have this one too, baby, okay? I know you can do it, you’re perfect, princess. Another one, for me?”

“I’ll try, Tae…” the nickname slipping out as you’re unable to say much more, and he loves how it sounds coming from his baby girl, his bestest girl, all for him.

“Turn the settings up to two more levels baby, that’s the only way it’ll work.”

“No, I—fuck, can’t—”

“I would never steer you wrong baby, turn on your front after, bring that beautiful face toward the camera so I can see you.”

With a cry, you up the ante, putting both to level three and rising to your knees as you flip to your front. The movement helps alleviate some of the contact, and you’re grateful for it. You catch your breath while positioned on your knees, and Taehyung lets out a catcall at the angle he has of your ass. You arch a little more, removing more contact from your abused clit and swaying your hips for him, and he has to hold himself back from commanding you to tell him where you live for teasing him that way.

The pooling slick leaking down your thighs from the position change has him licking his lips, fuck, he wants to taste you so badly, the way your lips are puffy from the vibrator, plush and glistening—you’re so sexy to him and he wants you more than you know.

Bringing your face closer to the screen, you have a better view of Taehyung as well and he adjusts himself. You can see how hard he is, the vein along his shaft appearing to throb. He’s added a cock ring to hold back his own climax, and you know that this must be hard for him too.

Laying flat on your tummy, the sensation grows and he can see it in your eyes as they roll back.

“Taehyung!”

Your second to last orgasm of the night rips through you without warning, and Taehyung murmurs praises to guide you through it. You welcome the relief when he rewards you by letting you turn it off.

You lay there, panting, dripping, and spent. But you know Taehyung isn’t done with you yet.

“Okay baby, last one, I think I prepped you well for this.”

And you know he did, because your second toy is bigger than the one you were using, with the added benefit that it pairs to his. When you position it for insertion, the thick shaft that resembles Taehyung’s (he’s pleased to notice) slides into you with barely any resistance thanks to your own slick and a little bit of lube.

You move backwards on the bed to give Taehyung the full view of yourself in doggy style, your cheek flush to one of your pillows and your arm between your legs holding the dildo in place.

Taehyung disappears for a few seconds as he removes the cock ring and leans to the side, reappearing with a white pussy sleeve that had been charging. Using the specific phone app for your sex toys, he double checks that it’s synced to yours.

You watch him pour lube onto his cock, his large hands spreading the glistening liquid over his swollen tip and shaft.

“Okay, baby, are you ready? I’m gonna fuck into this, and you’re gonna feel it start moving to match.”

You nod, hand gripping the end of the inserted cock.

“Ready, kitten? You’re doing so well, just one more, for me?”

“For you.”

His responding smile makes it worth it, and you can’t help but return it.

Your smile is wiped off your face as it contorts into a moan when you feel the motion of the dildo. Using your hand, you have it penetrate you deeply, the thickness stretching you out as it plunges in and pulls out with a loud suction.

Taehyung thrusts up into his masturbator, eyes on the way you take the dildo, wishing he was the one behind you, taking you, your ass smacking his thighs as he fucks himself to the hilt, and he groans out your name, feeling so close already at the lewd sounds of the dildo fucking you. It’s so much better with this toy, because he can actually feel the way your walls grip him, the muscles clamping on the inserted toy sending his toy your contractions.

As he begins to pump the toy up and down faster, you feel the rotating head of the toy inside you speed up to match his movements.

“Come on, kitten, show me how you would take me.”

You want to drop down flat and give up, but you’re so close—you can feel it building, and you start to rock your ass back, meeting the motions thrust for thrust as you moan for Taehyung.

“Fuck me, Tae, you feel so good, could fuck you all the time—”

“Yeah, you want me to fuck you everyday, make that pussy mine?”

“It’s yours, it’s all yours!”

“Damn right, fuck, I know it’s tight and dripping, can literally feel you clench—want to cum in you, want to fill you up so good.”

“Please, please, want that so bad, want you so bad. I’m gonna cum, Taehyung, I’m so close…”

“Give me your last orgasm, baby girl, you’ve been so good. I’m so proud of you princess, you’re doing so well, just one more, cum with me baby, let go.”

You’ve never come so hard or yelled so loud from an orgasm, and later you’ll wonder how your neighbors didn’t call the police.

You lay there, body wracking with convulsions as the last of your high makes its way through your nervous system and Taehyung coos at you. He releases his own hot fluids into his masturbator, imagining it’s you he’s filling up, before he slumps backwards on his bed. The aftershocks of your walls still grip at him, and he’s regretful to leave the sleeve that feels like you, but he knows he needs to clean himself up, so he’s careful as he removes the toy, knowing his movements impact what you feel.

With a gentle, yet firm voice, he instructs you to drink the water bottle you prepared next to your bed, and he hates that he’s not there to help you. He wants to draw you a warm bath or at least smooth your hair and hold you as you fall asleep.

You did so well, he’s not sure if anyone has been able to follow his wants and take it like a champ the way you did tonight. Plus, if the synced sex toys are anything to go by, he wants to feel your walls contract on him like that without any barriers.

“Is it late there?” Taehyung asks you, a little worried about your wellbeing. In all the excitement, he forgot to ask you if you had eaten beforehand.

“Not too late…the sun has just set I think. Still early enough if I want to order food from Yoojung Sikdang.”

“Yoojung Sikdang? I love that place! Wait—do we live in the same city?” Taehyung’s heart begins to pound as he watches the way your face takes on a questioning look. You share the name of your city with him and his eyes grow wide.

Is it luck that the two of you are in the same place, or is it fate?

“YN…would you be interested in meeting up with me, in real life? I’d love to get to know you more, without a screen in the way.”

thank you for reading! feedback is greatly appreciated!! i loved what you had to say on the last one, so please let me know what you think, especially if you want more...

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kenzies-love-stories · 1 year

Text

Fallin all in you pt 2 (Alec Volturi x Cullen reader)

a/n: Hi so I have been neglecting my blog and I am so sorry for that. I have had so much stuff happen since I last updated I had gotten broken up with only to meet a sweet navy boy months later, we have been dating for 4 months now and it has been the happiest I have felt in a very long time. When he is away on deployment it is hard but I am powering threw it the best I can. I have been busy with family issues and work! I managed to snag a job at Spirit Halloween which was a blast I can't wait until next year! This has been in my drafts for almost a year and I feel so bad about it. I just finished the ending of it tonight so I am posting this ASAP. ~ Kenzie

Paring: Alec Volturi X cullen reader

Warning: It gets a bit spicy not necessarily smutty but definitely spicier than I usually write. This is a direct sequel so you will need to read part 1

Word count:4306

Date posted: nov 5th 2022

y/n pov

"I wasn't asking your permission!" I exclaim throwing my arms up in the air.

"Don't talk to your grandmother like that y/n." My grandfather hisses sternly.

"Mom Dad, ease up a bit." my mother pleads with my grandparents from her spot next to me.

"Ness how are you so okay with allowing her to stay with that monster!?!" Bella questions.

"He is NOT A MONSTER!! How dare you say such things!" I interject no longer able to hold in my anger.

"Y/n you don't even know him, He is a soulless monster!" Edward adds.

"You don't know a damn thing about his soul. I wasn't asking your guys' permission to stay, I was telling you. I finally found my mate and I will NOT allow you all to keep me from him!" I yell as I jump up from the bed I was sitting on.

"DON'T WALK AWAY FROM US YOUNG LADY!! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING!?!"

"I am going to go cool off, I suggest you all do the same," I state before pulling my shoes on and grabbing my purse.

I slam the door a little too harshly behind me before I walk down the stairs. Soon I am met by the warm sunny sky that is over Volterra. I sigh and walk in the direction of the castle. The closer to the castle I get the less the sun shines overhead.

I sit down sideways on the bench that is outside the front entrance of the castle with my feet resting upon the cold spot next to me. I rest my head and arms on my knees with a sad sigh. I let my eyes fall closed as tears of stress start to fill my waterline.

I hear footsteps beating along the concrete, making their way to the bench. "Hey! you there, you are coming with us!!" I hear a male voice yell.

With a heavy sigh, I raise my head and look up at the two men. The first thing I notice is that they are wearing Grey cloaks and they have red eyes. "Why's that? I am not hurting anyone by being here." I state dryly.

"No but the tour is starting soon, you have to be with the other tourist." the other guard stated.

"Tour? I didn't sign up for the tour." I ask in confusion

"Well, too bad-" The guard is cut off by a familiar voice that could soothe my every doubt. "What are you two doing out here, get back to your post."

The guards stormed off back in the direction they came, "Cara are you alright? I was just on my way to come get you." He asks rushing to my side.

I pull him into an embrace letting a few tears of stress slip from my eyes. "I just needed to see you," I state into the space between his neck and shoulder.

He wraps with arms around me and gently strokes my hair with his hand. "Let's go somewhere to talk and you can tell me all about it," he states pulling away from me.

'Okay." I nod with a small hiccup. He gently grabs my hand into this cold one and leads me into the castle's stone walls.

After our small journey, he sits me down on the plush couch. He sits next to me and takes my hands in his, "What happened love?"

"It's Edward and Bella," I sigh before continuing, "They refuse to allow me to stay even though it isn't up to them."

"It's because of me huh?" He asks sounding a bit hurt.

"Their opinions on you do not affect the way I feel about you. I know we don't know each other well but I am already so attached to you; that I could care less about the things they say about you." I state caressing his cheek in my hand.

He nuzzles his cheek into my hand slightly before softly pleading, "Stay with me, please; stay."

I rest my forehead on him after gently kissing his nose, " I am going to try my best, I promise."

"I don't want to leave your side. Maybe I can work something out with my master's?" he gently questions before kissing my forehead.

"In fact, " he stands up and holds his hand out to me, "let's go talk to them right now, we are going to settle this once and for all."

I quickly place my hand in his and allow him to lift me off the couch, "They aren't going to be harmed right?" I ask.

"Of course not! As long as they listen to what the masters decide," he states leading us to an unfamiliar room.

"Ah, Alec and my dear Y/n it is wonderful to see you both. What can we do for you?" Aro muses meeting us halfway.

Instead of speaking, I let Alec handle all the talking, "As you all know I have found my mate last night at the ball, but we are facing a bit of a predicament."

"And what's that?" Caius questions.

"Her family will not allow her to stay without a fight, I'm afraid. She has already tried to reason with them but she could not get through to them. I do not wish to be separated from her as I have finally found her."

"Is this true child?" Aro asks me.

"Yes, I am afraid that it is," I state

"The Cullen's are in forks again, Correct?"

"Yes sir, we are enrolled at Forks high school, Esme is a teacher there this time around," I confirm.

"Alec considering how loyal you have been to us we can trust you to leave for a few years, if the Cullen's will not allow her to stay then you will be going with them," Aro states looking at us both.

"Thank you." Alec and I both thank the three kings before we exit.

We both spend the next few hours getting to know one another and packing up his essentials. When we are finally done it is dark enough for us to both walk out in the open without drawing attention to ourselves.

We are out in the warm air, "Should we tell them or should we just show up at the airport?" Alec asks loading his luggage into a car.

"Well I got an idea, I can go back to the hotel room, ride with them to the airport, and then when we get there you will meet us there. That way they can't really make a scene and it would be too late for them to say no." I state sitting on the hood of the car.

He comes up and slides his body between my knees resting his hands on the hood behind me. "That's smart, do you want a ride back to the hotel," he asks before pulling me into a kiss resting one of his fingers beneath my chin.

I kiss back before pulling away to respond, "Yes please." he smiles and lifts me off the hood, and places me on my feet. He then goes to open my door for me. I get into the passenger seat of the car and buckle myself in.

He closes my door and jogs to the driver's side with a smile. He starts the car and starts to drive me to the hotel that we are staying at just outside of Volterra. He reaches over and holds my hand while using the other to steer.

The ride to the airport after Alec dropped me off was silent. I was in no hurry to talk to anyone as they still hadn't cooled off yet. Seeing this makes me slightly nervous for when Alec gets here.

I walk into the airport by my mother's side which puts us behind everyone else, "Baby you know you don't have to come home with us, you can stay with him if you want to."

"I know mom, but um Alec he is coming to Forks with us," I state very quietly.

"Really Aro allowed that?" She asks me confused.

"Yeah until after this school year. I want to move to Volterra as I already have done high school, many times." I state with my mind made up.

She was about to reply when she froze looking behind me before breaking out into a smile, "I'll leave you two lovebirds to it."

A big smile breaks out on my face when I turn around to see Alec a few steps away from me, "Well hello there stranger." I state closing the distance between us.

"Hi Beautiful, miss me?" He asks in a cheeky tone wrapping his cold arms around me.

I am about to reply when I hear a scoff behind us. with a sigh, I turn and see my grandparents glaring holes into Alec and myself. This makes me frown and all the excitement leaves my small body. Alec notices the visible change in my mood and he leans down and whispers in my ear softly, "Don't worry about them Cara, they will come around eventually."

I just nod in reply as we move forward in the customs line so we can get cleared for the flight. When we make it onto the plane everyone sits in the same seats that they sat in on the way there. The only difference is Alec is now occupying the seat next to me, keeping me some much-needed company.

The whole plane ride I can tell that my family is trying to listen in on my conversation with Alec, which bugs me to no end. I end up falling asleep on Alec's shoulder near the tail end of the plane ride. I thought the most awkward part was over but oh was I wrong. The ride home was by far the most awkward because there were not enough seats for all of us. My mother had to sit on my father's lap and I sat squished in between Alec and Edward. During the whole ride, I had to block Edward from reading Alec's mind, I don't even invade his privacy like that so neither does Edward.

"Y/n Stop." Edward hisses out to me.

"No Edward you stop. I know what you are trying to do and I do not appreciate it." I state harshly.

"Hey now you both quit it or I am going to handcuff you two together until you can get along," Carlise says from the driver's seat.

The rest of the ride home is quiet. I keep my eyes low, looking at my shoes. A small grin slowly works its way onto my face as Alec reaches over and gently takes my hand into one of his cold hands which are bigger than mine. The rest of the ride was as smooth as it was going to get. Edward and Bella left it alone...until we got back to the house that is.

Emse and my mom pull Alec and I aside when we get in to the house, "We have a surprize for you both, we just wanted to be subtle about it." Esme reached into her pocket and pulled out what looked to be a old style key.

Esme comes up and brings me close, she carefully slips the key into my pocket. "Walk straight ahead into the woods then in about a thousand meters turn left. It's small and hidden but it is now yours, Enjoy it lovebirds."

"Thank you," I whisper to her as she pulls away and puts on arm around my mom.

My mom just nods her head at me in support. I look at Alec with a smile and quietly ask, "Are you ready to go check our place?"

"Let's go beautiful." He smiles and grabs one of my hands leading me outside and into the woods.

We follow Esme's instructions and before long we come across a beautiful cottage, it is small and has a mossy roof but it looks like it is just perfect for us. I flash a smile to Alec before I go to unlock the door and push it open.

I gasp as I walk through the small cottage, it has a small but cute kitchen, a bathroom with a shower, and a queen-size bathtub, the walls are white and are adored by a minimalistic style. The bedroom is stunning with a walk-in closet and a neatly made queen-sized bed..

The living room has two big bookshelves filled as complete as they could be with books upon books that I can not wait to get lost in.

I am looking around in absolute wonder when I am slightly startled by cold arms going around my waist, "What's on your mind beautiful?" my mate asks me softly.

I place one of my hands over his turning my head slightly to side-glance him, "I am just thinking about how perfect this place is for us and how I can't wait to read the books on the shelves."

"Yeah, it is almost as perfect as you are my love," he says before pressing gentle butterfly soft kisses on my neck.

This causes me to giggle softly, "Alec love, I'm ticklish." I state pulling away from his embrace to stop the assault on my neck.

"Is that so?" He asks with a glint in his eye, before slowly walking towards me.

There is nowhere to hide in the tiny house so I do the next best thing and sprint out the door at an inhuman pace. "Catch me if you can love."

"Oh, you're going to regret that babe." He says with a laugh before sprinting after me.

I can tell he is humoring me a bit as he is not running at full speed. I quickly take a left and then a right before I take another left and hide behind a tree. I don't hear anyone behind me anymore, so I glance slightly from behind the tree. I smile wide when I don't see anyone behind me, I turn my body not looking up starting to walk forward again.

I don't make it far before I am pushed up against a tree, not roughly but not softly either. I gasp as I make eye contact with my mate's burgundy eyes, "I found you, my love." He whispers before leaning down to kiss me passionately.

I kiss back as I place my arms around his neck gently playing with the hairs that are at the nape of his neck. We only pull apart for a second just for Alec to whisper out, "Jump." I listen jumping softly to wrap my legs around his waist.

My arms find his neck again as he stares deeply into my eyes before closing the distance between us again. The hard wet bark of the tree scratches slightly into my back to which I let out a soft whine and pull away. "As much as I love kissing you out here, why don't we take this back to our home?"

He doesn't respond instead I feel a whoosh of air then I feel the hardness of the wall on my back. Before I know it his lips are on mine again, we both put so much passion into the kiss that I can feel my body start to heat up. I gently push on Alec's chest, "What's wrong Love?" he asks in concern.

"Nothing you're perfect, we're just wearing too many clothes," I say before pulling off my shirt leaving me in only a f/c bra. Alec uses one hand to pull up his shirt as my legs are still around his waist. I help him remove his shirt the rest of the way.

I gently run my hand over his cold hard chest before going to kiss his lips hungrily. He gently peppers hungry kisses from my mouth down my neck. I let out a soft moan when he makes it to where my shoulder meets my neck one of my hands makes its way into his hair. I feel him smile on my neck softly before he kisses the spot gently.

"I think that's enough for tonight love," he says looking into my eyes.

"Did I do something wrong?" I ask nervously

"No, you didn't not at all. I just don't want to get carried away, I want the first time to be very special. I want to put in effort so you feel loved and special the whole time. Is that alright?" He states gently rubbing my cheek with his thumb.

"Oh" I state as I feel my face flush "Y-yes that's perfect." He presses a soft kiss to my nose before gently placing me back onto my feet. He looks around for my shirt which is crumpled up in the corner where I threw it.

He instead picks up his from the floor and signals me to raise my arms up, to which I oblige. Once my arms are in the air he pulls his shirt down and lets it fall over my body. I put my arms down a smile, "What about you."

"I have more shirts love, and besides I quite like seeing you in my clothes." He says before gently picking me up and bringing me over to the bookshelves. "Pick a book, my love, I will read it to you before bed."

"Really?!?" I ask excitedly while my eyes scan over the various leather-bound books. I run my fingers over a few before I stop on the one that feels right. I carefully pull the well-loved book from the shelf.

"Which one did you pick love?" he asks as he walks us to our bedroom before placing me down on the bed and getting on to it right after.

after we are both comfortable under the covers I finally pull out the book I picked up from the shelf and look at the front cover. "I have picked out, Dracula." I let out a slight giggle at the look on Alec's face, it was priceless.

"Babe that is such an inaccurate representation of us." He winces while taking the book out of my hands in distaste.

"Oh come on love it can't be that bad. " I say cuddling closer to his side.

"We'll see," he says gently opening the book to the first chapter. He cages me in his arms so we are both looking at the words on the page before he starts to read to me in his soothing voice.

I am not sure when I fell asleep but I am awoken by gentle kisses being placed on the spot where my neck meets my shoulder. I tilt my head to the opposite side to give Alec more access when II hear him whisper, "Good morning beautiful, how'd you sleep."

"I slept great with you by my side. What time is it?" I ask looking at the window noticing it is still dark.

"it's 6:45 am, we have school today, unfortunately," Alec states leaning on one arm to hold himself up over me as I have moved onto my back.

"That's too early," I whine out as he gently moves some of my hair out of my face.

I pout as he kisses my nose, "Come on Cara mia I prepared you a bath this morning, You might want to get up while it's hot." he states getting up and pulling the covers off of me.

I smile and ask shyly, "Will you be joining me in said bath?" I see him gently bite his lip before he walks towards me and kisses me.

When he pulls away from me he whispers against my lips, "Not this time Cara but I will next time when we don't have the time crunch of school."

"You're a tease." I breathe out before heading to the bathroom.

"And you love it," he calls out to me from the kitchen.

The sight I see when I walk into the bathroom makes my face heat up a bit. The water is steaming with bubbles. Rose petals and candles are carefully placed around and along the bathtub. I quickly pull off my underwear and Alec's shirt from yesterday that I slept in. I then carefully get in the tub and lean my head back on the lip of the tub letting the hot bubbly water relax my body.

I got out when the bubbles depleted and the water started to cool down. With a towel wrapped around my body I quickly pull the drain on the tub, I walk into our bedroom to see an outfit placed on the now-made bed. This man had picked out my outfit for the day. I pull on my undergarments before putting on my black skinny jeans and my stripped knitted sweater that Esme made me for Christmas one year.

I venture out into the kitchen and I see Alec sitting down at our dining table with a cup of what I can only assume is blood. I press a kiss to his cheek before sitting down next to him where a plate of food is waiting for me. "How was your bath love?" He asks me making eye contact.

"It was almost perfect, the only thing missing was you." I state noticing that he had put dark brown contacts in to cover up the red.'

"Are they uncomfortable?" I ask gently rubbing my thumb under one of his eyes.

"They only cause a small annoyance but they don't hurt or anything like the very first time I was forced to wear them," Alec states looking me deeply in the eyes. I don't reply instead I pull him into a kiss.

He kisses me back eagerly, I move from my chair into his lap not breaking the kiss for even a moment. He gently pulls away with his eyes close, "Babe we have to get going to school."

"We have done high school time and time again, I'm sure we will be okay missing one day," I whisper against his lips before kissing him again.

He breaks the kiss again to state, "Yes that may be true but I don't want your family marching down here accusing me of corrupting you."

"Alec, my love, With all due respect shut up and kiss me like you mean it," I state sitting up on his lap a bit.

"As you wish my love, but the consequences are on you," he states jokingly before placing one of his cold hands on my cheek and guiding my lips to his once more. We are most definitely going to be late for school today.

Renesmee's pov

"So how much you want to bet that the lovebirds are not going to make it out their door," Emmett asks me while wiggling his eyebrows

"Emmett, no. I much rather not think of what my daughter and her mate are doing in their home." I say throwing a jacket at his face.

"Oh come on Ness, she's not a little girl anymore. " He teases me more.

"She's still my little girl though and I much rather not have this conversation with you," I state bitterly. "I'm sure she just slept in is all."

"Yeah 'slept in' I'm sure," Emmett says with air quotations.

"Emmett if you keep testing me I am going to kick your ass," I state with a venomous tone.

I see him put his hands up in surrender, "Okay okay I'm sorry Ness, no more talk about that Volturi guard deflowering your daughter." he says with a laugh and sprints off when he sees me get up angrily.

"That's it Emmett you asked for it!" I exclaim chasing after him outside.

Before I can chase after him further I am stopped by my own mother, "Hey what's going on are you alright?"

"I'm fine I am just going to kick Emmett's ass for testing me this morning," I state pulling my arm from her hand.

"Hey, have you seen y/n and Alec? I wasn't able to find what room is the one they are staying in the house," she asks

"That would be because they are not staying in the house with us." I cringe having to tell my mother this.

I see her eyes get darker, "What! Ness when were you going to tell me!"

"I didn't tell you because I knew you would react this way. Mom you really need to leave my kid alone. Whatever Alec did 150 years ago is in the past. You need to move on from that because like it or not he is y/n's mate and he makes her the happiest I have seen her. Whether you like it or not he is now a part of the family. You and dad will not get in the way of her destiny. I'm not letting you two rob her of her happiness. If she wants to go back to Volterra with him then so be it, she deserves to be happy just as much as everyone else in this family does. So I suggest if you don't want to lose your granddaughter you start being more excepting of her and Alec. I've seen them interact and he looks at her with nothing but love. Not to mention that he is already so protective of her; he's not going to ever let anything or one hurt her. She is in safe hands with him and I trust him to keep her safe." I rant angrily to my mother hoping she'll get the point and leave y/n and Alec alone.

"I- I didn't know you felt that strongly about it," she states softly.

"You and Edward need to stop bullying Alec, all you two are doing is pushing y/n further and further away from us. " I state bitterly walking off before she could make any excuses for herself.

I just hope my outburst is enough to keep them in check around Y/n and Alec. They have the right to be able to have a relationship like the rest of us do. They both deserve it as they have been by themselves for so long. I hope they never have to be separated again, they won't be if I have anything to say or do about it.

taglist: @aka-sticky @kenny-0909 @linahilton79

#alec volturi oneshots #alec volturi oneshot #alec volturi x reader #alec volturi imagine #alec volturi imagines #twilight oneshots #twilight imagine #twilight imagines #twilight oneshot #twilight fluff #volturi imagines #volturi imagine #volturi x reader #twilight x reader

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absolutebl · 1 year

Text

This Week In BL - I’m All Over The Place & Sarcastic About It

Nov 2022 Wk 1

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying the most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

My Only 12% (Fri iQIYI) 13 of 14 - Cake is such a bratty seme. And we got incandescently happy boyfriends for half an episode, and then Earth gets to cry. Earth always cries. Good thing he’s pretty at it. I do actually like the noona romance. Sometimes even the hets get to me. Because I'm a sap. And I love a pining younger man. I actually really really loved the bit at the end with the two mothers. It’s really rare to see that level of older adult character representation and close female friendship in a BL.

Big Dragon (Sat Gaga) 5 of 8 - Oh, I knew this was going to get rough but I didn’t think they would actually fist fight. It’s interesting that this one is up against Falanruk, because I hated the two player system in that one, but I’m fine with it in this show. There’s a touch of TharnType or maybe more KinnPorsche with Mangkorn & Yai, that they pivot so quickly from violence to sex, hate to passion. Real enemies to lovers with all that bottled up passion destined to explode one way or the other. The sex in this show is similarly treated as a kind of violence, in a kinky way. Also it’s v high heat. But from a romance thread standpoint? The way these two are dodging about each other is just frustrating. Also... NO SINGING!

Ai Long Nhai (Mon iQIYI) 6 of 10 - Baby’s first jealousy. But omg is this show slow. I think it’s fair for Ai to want Nhai to actually say something positive about their relationship. I like that these 2 talk fully about sex before having it. And now it’s a secret relationship. (I do keep imagining what Mike & TT would have done with these roles.) Oh HI Games! (Second Chance). Cutie! This sudden side dish is v good, gimme MOAR? CRUMBS. @heretherebedork CRUMBS!

Ghost Host, Ghost House (Weds YouTube) 5 of 8 - Wait, who are these girls allasudden? I guess they are Kewin’s fag hags? I suppose every good gay does need a coven? Especially if ghosts are involved.

Makes me wonder who I’d draft for my BL coven... hum. I sense a meme coming on.

Remember Me (Sun Gaga) 4 of 12 - Mean’s wig is so terrible. Yes, I realize that’s intentional. But still, too distracting. Props shouldn’t be required to do your comedic acting for you, honey. I really do like the actor who plays Champ, and I really want him to lead out his own BL. (If he wants to of course.) I’m so glad JaFirst are finally occupying the screen together. They’re just that much better when they’re TOGETHER.

Love in the Air (Thurs iQIYI) 12 of 13 These two do heat so well. Ugh but the dairy reading “reconciliation” scene was truly gross. This show. Why is the villian the seme? Look, sorry Thailand, Japan can do this, you just... can’t. It’s clumsy and makes anyone with half an empathy uncomfortable. - DUMPSTER FIRE TRASH WATCH ALONG HERE.

Hard Love Mission (Sat WeTV) 3 of 4fin - Phenomenally dull Thai pulp about a journalist sent to interview a celebrity who ends up his manager, only 4 episodes and it still could’ve been shorter. It’s a bummer, the concept wasn’t bad. ALSO Chinese censorship got its gross mitts all over it (thank you, Tencent). Do not waste your time. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I’M WATCHING AND NEITHER DOES IT 3/10

Work from Heart (Thurs YouTube) 7fin - Just lovely, all the hets are getting married! How rare and special of them. How lucky they are. But I have no idea what’s going on with our leads. It’s very Romeo & Romeo allasudden. And the grandpa is v confusingly evil. Great chemistry, but like Check Out, just a terrible story and an ultimately unfathomable BL. 4/10 FATALLY FLAWED

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

My Tooth Your Love (Taiwan Fri Viki) 5 of 12 - These leads! Best example of the pillow clutch trope ever? I think so. World’s most gentle flirts. Seriously: The Ache. We dealing with some serious abandonment issues. Meanwhile, in the land of May/December, baby boy kabedon is my kryptonite! (Also the name of my indie band’s first single.) I identify WAY too much with the bartender character. He pretty much opens his mouth and says what I’m thinking 90% of the time.

“Someone’s lack of defenses can be so overwhelming.” - Best BL quote of 2022? May be.

Choco Milk Shake (Korea Strongberry Tues YT) 3-4 of 10 - postponed until next week. Read about why here.

Roommates of Poongduck 304 (Korea Thurs Viki) 7-8fin. Ah regrets after a drunken gay pass. Also: killer confrontation confession scene with them both so torn and confused and hurt and unsure! Brilliant. It’s so cute after, with them soft & cute with each other as experimental bfs. JaeYun having fangirls was adorbs, and HoJoon dealing with the resulting jealousy was fun to watch. Also HoJoon is so gone and so inept and uncool about it. And then JaeYoon learns who HoJoon really is. Man this show moves FAST. Ah KBL. I wish we had more time with these characters. I would have liked sweet bfs for longer. And Holland is back, such an adorable plot device. Hi, cutie! The reconciliation/confession was good. How much do I love that the final make-out scene was precipitated by the eroticism of informal language? SO MUCH. V linguistically sexy. FInal review below.

Kabe Koji (Japan Mon Viki) 5 of 10 - This is going to be weird sounding coming from me but I think what I’ve decided that this show is just too much manga. Not yaoi per say but MANGA. Like, aggressively MANGA. I was thinking as I watched, “This singing group is comically bad.” Then I realized, “Oh that’s intentional, like the credit sequences for ABL - they are meant to be.” And then I realized: Every part of this show is a parody. Not the same as ABLon the whole, but similar in its components: The idol group is a parody of all idol groups. The high school drama is a parody of all high school dramas. The otaku mangaka is a parody of all otaku mangaka. The yaoi is a parody of all yaoi. And the BL of all BL. In the end, this entire show is just Japan messing with us. And frankly I’m beginning to enjoy it for that when I actually dont’ enjoy it as a BL at all. Again, like ABL.

Eternal Yesterday AKA Eien no Kino (Japan Thurs Gaga) 3 of 8 - I do enjoy the credit music on this one. Backstory ep: so we get to watch them fall in love. Goodie. Pain for all! Or more, watch Mitchan fall and be confused, since Koichi is already utterly gone. Argh! Why does Japan always spend its best pennies on pain? A truly glorious confession scene, and then... a dead fish kiss. For which I’m actually strangely grateful. Frankly, if they also managed the physical chemistry in this show, it’d totally destroy me. This way I’m going to be only mildly destroyed. *whimper*

It’s Airing But I’m Not Watching It

War of Y 20 eps - it’s just all too much for me.

My Roommate 32 eps of 2 minutes each + terrible production values? - I’m not bothering.

Fahlanruk (Sun GaGa) 12 eps - I cut my losses at ep 5. DNF

To Sir With Love AKA Khun Chai 28 eps - dito

2 Moons 3 Thai (Mon ??) 10 eps - Possibly a future binge watch. Rumor is it’s banal.

SELF (Thurs YT) - DNF

Love Bill (Vietnam Sat YT) 1of ? - Bah Vinh is back but I’m too distracted. Also there’s a lot of fund raising and stuff going on. Thinking I’ll wait and binge.

In Case You Missed It

Roommates of Poongduck 304 (Korea Viki) quick pitch:

This is a solid little office set KBL about a rich kid who ends up both the boss and tenant of a total sweetheart cutie, and falls madly in love with him. Although the show suffered from KBL’s shorter length, I love the kissable lips pair, they deliver solid all round chemistry despite limited screen time, which is rare from Korea. So I hope they stay branded and we get even more from them in the future. Ultimately I recommend this show, a solid 8/10.

If Japan didn’t dominate the office BL niche with shows like Cherry Magic and Old Fashion Cupcake this BL probably would get higher marks for me. But it’s a difficult hill to climb (although I’m delighted to see Korea try). Even though Japan and Korea often give us the same length shows, I feel the brevity in the Korean stuff in a way that I don’t with the Japanese stuff. Frankly I think it’s Japan’s sophisticated cinematography facilitating the complexity required by shortness (what’s left out has to be implied by the lens and the acting) where Korea’s more commercial and simplistic style (which works great in longer Kdramas or something like Light On Me) falls short (pun intended) with their short KBLs.

OH, and here’s a special extra extended kissing scene for this pair, just for extra proof on chemistry.

I’m finishing up my UWMA rewatch today.

Gossip

Much anticipated office set Thai GL GAP the series will have 12 eps and will premier on Nov 19 on Idolfactory’s (SCOY) official youtube channel. Go subscribe, now. Trailer here.

Next Week Looks Like This:

TOMORROW! Between Us (Sun iQIYI & YouTube?) - trailer here

Tuesday: I Will Knock You (Tues Gaga) - Bad boy/good boy + sunshine/grumpy + younger seme pairing.

LITA & 12% finish.

Nov 2022 line up:

Nov 18: I Will Knock You (Fri Gaga) A college kid & tutor confronts the leader of a gang who then turns out to be his next student. Bad boy/good boy + sunshine/grumpy, + younger seme pairing, bully romance?. Adapted from korean_rabbit's y-novel of the same name, directed by Champ (2gether).

Nov 19: GAP the series (Sat YT) - 12 ep office set GL from Thailand.

Nov 26: 609 Bedtime Story (?? WeTV) - another OhmFluke vehicle that’s rumored to be a good story. A one night stand leads to a series of mysterious premonitions and a possible parallel universe.

Nov ??: My School President (?? GMMTV YT) initial trailer here - it’s Love Sick + Korea & Japan's influence.

This week’s best moments?

That’s one way of putting it honey. (Tooth)

Baby’s first kabedon! (Tooth)

Meanwhile, in the land of Big Dragon, they trying on Taiwan for size (that’s what he said).

The mosquito trope returns with a vengeance this week!

Is it a WinTeam foreshadow from the whole Thai BL industry?

Might be!

TOMORROW!

Rise up broccoli nation!

This weeks earworm: Kang Daniel’s Parade

(last week)

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monsterhunting · 4 months

Note

hii omg directors commentary for the "with great power" scene of jonathan and steve spider-man kissing!

[with great power; from this ask meme]

hello!! hehe okay so. i think i mentioned this in the notes for that fic on ao3, but the stoncy steve!spider-man au came to be because my good pal Sharon texted me that i should write a stoncy spider-man fic and i was like “hmmmm maybe? what would that entail, give me ideas” and

[dated Nov 4, 2022]

side note: now i’m rereading the rest of our texts abt the fic and we actually texted back and forth quite a bit of ideas before i actually started it, and at one point i was like, “omg how long is this gonna be? because I don’t have another 50k fic in me”

reader: the stoncy Spider-Man au was 64k.

ANYWAY! back on topic.

so because the Stonathan upside down spiderman kiss kickstarted all my other ideas for this fic, I am 99% sure that the Stonathan upside down spiderman kiss was the first scene I actually wrote after I’d outlined and stuff. Not the full scene as it’s presented in the fic obviously, but at the very least, a rough draft of the dialogue to the lead-in and a bit of the actual kiss. even though it turned out the kiss wouldn’t happen until halfway through the fic. Oops.

Obviously, it was a rough draft scene and i edited it a lot and added in more details and context before publishing the version that is on ao3. Like, Jonathan’s little internal monologue before the kiss was written way later. But steve (as spider-man) saving jonathan from bad guys in the rain was written early on, or at least outlined. and the “Are you going to let me thank you?” exchange was written very early on also. The whole “jonathan kissing steve and ending it early and trying to apologize bc he thinks Steve isn’t into it only for steve to cut him off and kiss him again” was always part of the plan too.

[…] Jonathan reaches for his mask before he can start to regret it.

“Wait,” Spider-Man blurts, sounding suddenly anxious. “Don’t – ”

“I know. I won’t,” Jonathan says, and his face burns with how embarrassingly tender his own voice sounds as he rolls up Spider-Man’s mask so that it rests just over his nose, only revealing the bottom half of his face.

This part — or a rough version of it — was always in the initial version of the scene because i wanted to highlight that Steve did want to kiss Jonathan but until that moment, he didn’t quite put two and two together that kissing jonathan would mean taking his mask off at least partially. So on instinct he panics a little because Jonathan could easily take off the mask and figure out who steve is, which steve very much does not want. But i had Jonathan reassure steve before steve can even finish asking him not to take off the mask because of course jonathan already knows what Spider-Man is going to say and of course jonathan wouldn’t take the mask off. Even if he wanted to know who Spider-Man is — which i mean. yeah he kinda does — that’s secondary to making sure he doesn’t betray spider-man’s trust. Because jonathan cares about Spider-Man! A lot! In a very scary way! And obviously there’s already trust there that could be betrayed because of course, spider-man already trusts Jonathan. because spider-man is Steve. and it’s jonathan. So!

I wrote a vague description of the lower half of spider-man’s face after Jonathan removes the mask from jonathan’s pov. I think i do that earlier in the fic too, when he’s eating soup in Jonathan’s apartment? Anyway. both times I almost included that spider-man has moles because like. Yeah. Obviously. But then i was like “okay, no. that is too obvious. Jonathan can’t clock that in the moment and then not know it’s steve. He isn’t that much of an idiot. Probably.” So i took it out

In high school, there was a girl in his homeroom he kissed once at a party, and in college, there was a guy who worked at the nearby pizza restaurant he fooled around with a couple of times, but other than that there’s been practically no one.

The pizza restaurant guy was argyle lmao in case that wasn’t obvious

[…] Spider-Man doesn’t move once. He just sort of lets himself be kissed as Jonathan awkwardly stands there, dripping rain, probably looking like a wet dog,

I thought the wet dog part was funny

They kiss twice because I thought it would be ironic and funny and very very romantic if Jonathan’s internal monologue during the entire first kiss is “shit shit shit I’m so bad at this” but when he pulls back to apologize Steve automatically goes in for a re-do and kisses him even more thoroughly because even if the kiss was bad the first time, steve was too dazed to think about it, or really think anything at all other than “oh my god oh my god oh my god holy shit”

And even though the rain still makes the kiss awkwardly wet, it’s harder to notice any of that when Spider-Man’s mouth feels so soft against his, when Spider-Man raises his hand to Jonathan’s face and brushes his thumb across Jonathan’s jaw carefully, almost reverently, and it’s only later that Jonathan will feel embarrassed about the sigh that escapes his mouth as he presses forward and kisses Spider-Man back.

Ok so full transparency — I used to hate writing kissing scenes. Every time i included one in a fic i would just leave a note like [enter kissing scene here] and then I’d come back to it later. It was almost always the very last thing i wrote. And I never really liked the kissing scenes I wrote either. I guess I just never thought I was good at writing them and that they were bad. (tbh, they probably were.)

However, I used to write fic really sporadically, but in the past couple of years I’ve been writing very consistently…and most of my fics in the past couple of years have consistently had kissing scenes in them lmao. So, essentially: I’ve had a lot of practice. Now, do I think my kissing scenes are good now? Idk! That is for the reader to decide! But i do feel like they’re easier for me to write and i no longer read them back and think “yikes!!! that is terrible.”

All of that to say; I am actually very proud of this scene, I think? I’ve never thought that much about what I would consider my favorite kissing scene that I’ve written. But if I were to consider it, I think it would be this one.

HOWEVER. I must confess: I feel embarrassed when I write kissing scenes sometimes!!! I feel like they’re a vulnerable thing to put out there and as I’m writing them I get hit with the “Oh God. People are going to read this.” Which is the POINT but sometimes i get embarrassed about it anyway. I also feel embarrassed talking about writing kissing scenes. “But grace that is what you’ve been doing for this entire post” yes. i realize that.

And like i know it’s stupid because people will write absolute smutfests with zero shame. as they should! But meanwhile im like “ummmmm 😳 so umm 😳 they k 😳 they k*ssed on the mouth 🙈 shit sorry this is so cringe 😭 umm -”

but anyway. I am powering through. I definitely had to switch tabs and take a break after i typed out the word “reverently” though.

Spider-Man says, “That was a pretty decent thank you.”

Jonathan laughs, stupid and incredulous. “Decent?”

“Decent,” Spider-Man confirms. “Like, six out of ten, I’d say.”

I thought this was funny too

And then Jonathan sees Spider-Man smile for the first time, lopsided and familiar,

Gee i wonder why it’s familiar… it’s anyone’s guess…

Also it was important to me for jonathan to note this was his first time seeing what spider-man’s smile looked like because i felt like jonathan would have a lot of feelings about that.

That is all my commentary i think!!! Thank you for asking, this was fun!

#ask #Graysonnightwing

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mysteriouslybluepirate · 1 year

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Kisses In the Dark-A PodPlay- Kinda. Day 6 of Exploring Con Content

Spoilers for Kisses in The Dark

Warnings up to chapter 5: Abuse, stalking, murder, eating/slurping up humans, nonconsensual kissing(it's how he kills people), cheating, implied/brief sex scenes, brief mentions of a past abortion.

I HAD SO MANY ISSUES TRYING TO LISTEN TO THIS. Chapters 1-4 worked fine. However, with chapter 5 I could not listen past the 5:46 minute mark. 'All right' I thought, after trying to find other sites streaming it and getting the same error 'I'll just skip the chapter'. So I did, and at 5:21 of chapter 6, it also flashed that error.

So what I have below is essentially judging chapters 1-4. I had complaints about the narrative and romance progression, but since I can't see their whole arc, this will be about vibes.

So for this 8ish hour multi voiced audio series, the main love interest is voiced by Con O'Niell, named John. Opposite to the love interest voiced by Rhiannon Clements, Kate.

My favorite things before we get deeper is the notable roles for Con O'Neill listed on the summary is Chernobyl(fair, as you'd likely recognize his voice) and The Batman. This came out Nov. 2020. The Batman came out 2022. So whoever wrote up this summary for the book Googled Cons IMDB, saw that he was in this movie, prayed that someone would care, and just slapped that on. Not knowing Con was mostly in the background and had less than 20 lines of dialogue. But can you imagine your only reference for the romantic lead of this story being the asshole from Chernobyl. Funniest shit ever. He had so many other roles to choose from guys! Maybe they didn't want his more queer roles to be listed for a straight romance?

Now, I have a bias to favor Queer stories; I know this about myself and often try to stay to my own lane. Not out of hatred but so much of the media that I consume isn't queer. Be it movies or day time television. So what I read/listen to is one of the easiest spaces to curate exactly what I want.

So when I read the title/synopsis I was skeptical, but willing to give it a shot.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am here for Con. I likely would not have listened to this project if not for him. In fact, I found John much more charming than I would have if John had been played by a different voice actor. Considering I was essentially just imagining a more pissed-off Izzy Hands being our protagonist. It's a real'if I didn't find this man hot, this would be creepy' situation.

This story is about a broken old Lovecraftian monster of a man who falls for the lady next door who's stuck in an abusive relationship. I realize that if either party swapped gender, or our male protagonist showed interest in men(beyond wanting to eat them), I know that I would have enjoyed this more. Because this is a standard romantic horror book, almost every cliché is touched and I predicted the twist that some people post online about. Yet there is something inherently queer in monster stories. Creatures that feel othered by society; that need to hide to be safe. So while yeah, it's a romantic novel, it still has some othered element to it.

Overall I didn't hate it as much as I'd expected. I admire how each murder was described and Con adds a fun disassociated element to the character in his narration. Like he's been killing for so long, nothing phases him. The chapter where he kills five guys at the amusement park, Bloody Minds, was a highlight.

The romantic moments were sweet(that I could hear). The dancing and trying to show her the fun parts of life were very much trying to relate to the target audience.

Again, I don't know exactly how it ends but see the story beats. If anyone below wants to summaries the story that tells me where these two end up in the end (together, dead, separate), I'd be grateful. I did enjoy this, I just can't find a way to listen to it, and I'd rather mentally close off this series than wait just in case.This is the only website I see anyone talking about this pod series.

I know it gets more cliché, but I was starting to care about where they go as a couple. Mainly cause I see it as a doomed love situation.

AS FOR CON!

Yes. Con either needed a better mic, and/or a pop filter. I got used to the static effect, and the editors did their best to cover it up with background sound. There are only a few points where it was noticeable. Con does a soft narrator voice that's easy to listen to, with some difficulty with enunciation and the fact I don't hear his accent all too often.

Yes. He is the most enjoyable part of this project. The lady doing the performance for Kate does a good job and I did grow to enjoy the performance, but she's just doing the role. Classic vampire craving humanity again storyline, with some fantastic imagery thrown in. I thought the age gap between the voice actors would bother me, but he's literally a century-old creature. So, eh.

Lovecraftian Izzy is a tag I keep an eye out for on AO3, so to see essentially that here was great. It was fun seeing him portray the souls trapped inside of John. Some more 'cringe' bits out of context, but if you listen to how his voice acts Mohg from Elden Ring, it gives off the same vibe. He portrayed desperate-sad-lonely falling in 'Love' very well.

The few sex scenes so far were non intrusive and fade to black in nature, besides her first fantasy.

It bugs me that we don't get a clear understanding on how The Kiss works. Cause he can kiss her skin, but it won't kill her? Is it an orifice thing? Cause he killed a guy sticking his tongue down his ear, so...

Highly recommend it if you already read these sort of stories or are on the fence and just want to hear Con and have some time to put it on in the background.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Performance: 8/10 for everyone all around. A few duds in side characters with a few speaking lines, but overall good stuff from everyone. All the scenes between Kate and John are fun and well acted.

Editing: 8/10 Fun background music and sound effect stuff going on. Super nonintrusive, and when it is, it's too point.

Story/Writing: 6-7/10; you've seen it before. From what I've seen people complain online, the story gets worse at the very end. Don't really know why, but yeah. Sadly, I guessed that there was a god interfering here. I'm glad John didn't just immediately kill her abusive boyfriend, but god, I'm mad I couldn't hear about it. I read an Izzy Hands/John fic out of curiosity and it really pointed out how melodramatic and gothic the writing here is. The way this world is described is very fun, and something that could be fun to emulate in my own writing.

Pacing for an audio medium 7/10: The first chapter is a bit slow, but after a few murders, it picks up well.

Overall 7-8/10. Fun if you go in with low expectations. Again, this might go down if I ever finish Hard Shadows, True Stories, and Sacrifice. But I just can't find a way, sadly.

If you've read this and want somewhere to talk about it down below, don't be afraid to spoil! I love all the comments and likes I get for doing this.

Have an amazing day y'all!

@ivegotnonameidea thanks again for the rec!

Next, who knows? We'll see, probably a movie, and knock through some of everyone's suggestions.

#Kisses in the Dark #con oniell #con o'neill #Rhiannon Clements #Kisses In The Dark PodPlay #Con's Conography

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alarrytale · 2 months

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Imo H’sH promo was so weak because of many subjects. First of all he had to stunt his way through because the movie was postponed - if I remember it was about to premiere in late 2021 but because it has been delayed thanks to covid, he had to stunt for one more year because I guess the stunt deal was it will end when the movie promo end…just how it happend in Nov 2022. So he had no option. Another thing is, in Europe everyone was waiting for new dates since the original ones for spring 2020 was postponed and I remember it clearly they gave us new date (from May 2020 to January 2021) but because covid still was full on and even worse than in 2020, everything was dead, hshq just went quiet and then in january 2022 they gave us new dates literally out of nowhere. And by that time nobody knew they will mix the original Fine Line tour with the tour promoting H’sH because nobody new album was coming. So basically he announced new dates, released new album, played few promo shows including Coachella and The Big Weekend and went straight into touring. And because I’m sure he hated stunting with O and wasn’t expected the stunt to turn into that shitstorm, he at least made it very clear that the album is not about her (eventho some gf harries still think it is about her).

I don’t know what to expect now but I think he will do more promo and hopefully more tv shows (SNL please!). And it’s also unknown how long they will keep the stunt, she still has another round of her play to take place in NY and then shouldn’t she finally be a proper actress and get some movie roles to make a break through in her career and they suddenly won’t have time for dating and we’ll get bua 🤷🏼‍♀️

Maybe Harry hasn't been around so much for music interviews, but at the time of HSH's release he was everywhere.

Hi, anons!

I think you might be right that things were postponed and didn’t happen the way it's was planned with HsH promo because of covid and his two movies being almost back to back. But god, yes he was everywhere.

I'm not picky when it comes to promo. With him it's usually very het centered and narrative confirming, but i hope he'll do something gay! SNL would be good for something gay. We can at least hope we don’t have to endure Cord*n this time around. I'd also love for him to skip Zane Lowe (too pretentious, i want to roll my eyes). I'd love for him to be on Hot Ones because the interviewer always ask good questions and do Chicken shop date with Amelia for some unhinged aquariusness for us to enjoy! I'd love for him to do Zach Sang if he does radio (because larrie producer lol). I'd also love if he used 1D as promo (and larry, but that's asking for too much ik, ik). No stunts though, please...

#hs4 #solo harry #harry image #holivia for ts

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celiastjamesoscar · 8 months

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There's so many awesome display case options out there. I upgraded to Moducase (now Moduspace, I think?) and the wait time sucks (though they've been getting better) because they're made to order so I waited almost a year and half to get my first order (my second order should be here soon. I think. Though I ordered this one in Nov 2022 still). But they're so nice and I've seen some really awesome Lego displays with them. So, kind of want my entire collection to be displayed in Moducase stuff.

So, best place to buy stuff would be BigBadToyStore (they got $4 shipping, and you can create a pile of loot and ship everything all together for only $4!). Dark Horse Direct is also a good site, they do a lot of exclusive stuff so even though shipping sucks that's where you'll get the limited quantity stuff or limit time pre-order stuff. Prime1 stuff (if you're willing to pay that much) ordering direct from Prime1 will get you the stuff quickest (shipping is insane though) but you can also order Prime1 from bigbadtoystore (more of a wait though) and the site gfxdistrubition is the US distributor for P1 so you might have better shipping but again wait time is insane (I have the Jin Sakai on order from them and I ordered April 2022 and it released not long after and I'm still waiting for it). Also, a plus side to ordering direct from Prime1 is payment plans! $1500 looks like a lot but when you break it down to only paying $89 a month for 12+ months it makes you feel so much better! Almost forgot! Gaming Heads. They are a website that does statues I think they still have the Ellie from TLOU2 for order (which is out now) and they're doing a Joel & Ellie from 1 (which is a pre-order and a bit of a wait) and they do some exclusive versions that are limited (like I got the hunter edition Ellie, and she comes with a blood head sculpt and an interchangeable bow or machete.

Literally the only reason I have such a cool collection is because I pretty much only work and go home. And home is still living at home (one of the good things about not being able to afford living on your own?) also payment plans. Payment plans are literally the best thing ever for expensive shit (I wish Lego did payment plans).

You are a saint!!! I just wrote down all of those names in my Notes app and I cannot wait til I get paid so I can buy some display cases! Payment plans are so underrated and it also helps me save money (in a weird way).

I looked at some of the Moduspace ones and those ones look so awesome! I really like how they are made for order. You seriously should not have told me about Moduspace because my obsession with Legos is about to reach a whole new level. Right now I’m currently looking the website and I’m kind of excited to see what they have. Thank you so much for telling me about this! I’m also going to look into the other ones as well!

I looked at an Ellie statue on Gaming Heads and it was like $600. there was also a death claw one from Fallout for like $1,500 😭

#bender chats #anon message

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longingthoughts · 1 year

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I don’t belong, and my beloved neither do you

𝅄 ✧ .˚ fandom: twilight

𝅄 ✧ .˚ focus: novella lambert, novella lambert/rosalie hale

𝅄 ✧ .˚ content warnings: kissing, anxiety

𝅄 ✧ .˚ tags: longing, slight jealousy, shipuary, happy ending, rosalie likes leather and so does novella, pining, reincarnated soulmates, reincarnation, past lives

𝅄 ✧ .˚ music: ivy by taylor swift

𝅄 ✧ .˚ word count: 1,351

𝅄 ✧ .˚ originally posted: 2022-02-02

crackship by kai

March 2005 Novella had waited for what felt like a lifetime to know what happened after the baseball game had occurred. Though Emmett had come around the bakery promising to keep an eye out for her and her family he wouldn't answer her questions and neither would Alice, who told her to ask Bella. Novella glared at Emmett in the bakery as he asked her about the baked goods. "Can you at least tell me if she's okay? That she's not dying? Charlie isn't even home yet" The short girl huffed as he asked another question about the cinnamon rolls. "She's in the hospital but she'll survive," Emmett replied, and sensing her about to ask another question he put his hands up. "That's all I can tell you okay?" Novella glared at him again but avoided asking another question. She would just have to ask Bella when she was back. And if she didn't come back she would just have to be the most annoying version of herself and get her friend to talk to her. Novella knew that Bella hadn't felt the most at home but she wasn't sure if that had changed now. Novella softened and chewed her lip as she answered every question Emmett had about the sweets. After all, the thought of tasting cardboard for all time seemed horrible. About a week later though charlie was home and so was Bella. Novella made fresh baked goods that she knew both the swans enjoyed, carefully baking them to perfection as if the sweets could get some answers out of Bella. It wasn't even that she just wanted to know what had happened, though that curiosity was there, she also just wanted to make sure that her friend was okay. That she was okay after everything. "Sai I finished the box, can you still give me a ride?" She asked her best friend not trusting the bike with the baked goods she had specifically spent all day on. "Yes Nov, this shift is almost done." She heard her friend say from the front of the bakery, the tone of her voice telling Novella the bakery was empty. Fifteen minutes later they were outside of the swan residence she told Sadie that she could walk home and she would call if she was late before she made her way up to the door. It was charlie who greeted her at the door. "Hi Charlie I brought you and Bella's favorites," Novella peered around him into the house. "She's home right?" "Yeah kid, she's up in her room recovering, could you bring her favorite baked good up to her? I don't want to interrupt your girl time." Charlie said and the care he had for his daughter tugged at Novella's heartstrings. "Of course, thanks" She replied easily grabbing a small plate and putting the cream cheese danish on it before she made her way upstairs. It was a little too staged the way that Bella was sitting as though she was trying to seem casual. "He ruined my dramatic entrance didn't he?" Novella joked also pointing out that she in fact did know that Edward had been there. Bella looked as though she was going to deny it before she let out a sheepish grin. "I knew it!" Novella exclaimed as quietly as she could to not make Charlie worry. "Oh, and I have a cream cheese danish for you."She said almost as an afterthought. "Oh."She heard the taller brunette say as she took the plate. "So come on tell me what happened? Also don't just say you fell down the stairs, I was at the game in case you forgot." She added the second part almost as if it was an afterthought. As Bella told her what happened she listened intently wanting to know everything but her brain kept going back to one of the first details she shared, that she had to trade clothes with Rosalie. It wasn't something that she should be jealous of, Bella was literally running for her life, but her brain kept going back to the fact. Part of her wished she got to trade clothes with Rose. Though the idea of going on the run was terrifying it wasn't that she was jealous of. She was jealous of the closeness she had gotten to be to Rose by wearing her clothes. Still she knew the thought was stupid so she kept pushing the thoughts away as she listened to her friend's story and added her own quips.

June 2006 If someone had asked her what she thought her life would be like now she would not in a million years have been able to have guessed this. She sat in the cabin she had been staying at lately that the Cullens promised would keep her and everyone safe on her request feeling she wasn't ready to be in the Cullens house full time. It had been a lot to process since April, the month she had been turned by victoria as some sick act of revenge against the Cullens and Bella. After turning she not only had memories of now but also of before of Rose. It had been hell to process those alone while also taking on the other newborn's guilt. It looked like it would be a little better now, though the Volturi wanted Bella turned yesterday. But she couldn't control any of that. "Hey Rose" She said feeling the presence of her nearby. "Do you remember the talk we had the other night?" Rose asked. Novella felt mortified remembering telling Rose about how she had been jealous of Bella when she had been on the run. The worst part is she couldn't even blame something like sleep deprivation or something on it because she was a vampire now and sleep was impossible. "Don't worry Neph," Rose replied using the nickname of her past life as if it was as easy as breathing air. "it's not as embarrassing you think. I actually think it's really cute." She heard rose say steadying her embarrasment all at once. "I remember." Novella said shifting to look at Rose as she sat on the couch with her. Rosalie was holding a box Novella raised her eyes at her in question. "Well, I wanted to bring you this, open it." Rose said handing the box to her. Novella took the box carefully looking at it. It was clearly a new box for this specific occasion. It was a black box wrapped in a magenta ribbon carefully. It was clearly picked out with Novella in mind. She gently tugged at the ribbon not wanting her new strength to hurt the delicate thing. She opened the box exposing more magenta this time it was tissue paper. She was a lot less careful with this than she was the ribbon pushing it back to see black leather. Novella couldn't help the small sound of amazement that came out of her mouth. "It's from the eighties, I bought it because it seemed like something that you would wear and I really missed you. When you talked about being jealous of Bella it made me remember it. I've worn it to school for a week so it should smell like me." She heard Rose say. Novella carefully pushed the box to her spot on the couch as she grabbed the jacket and settled it on her shoulders. Looking at rose's smile made her melt completely. "You look beautiful with it on" She heard the blonde say to her. "Rose have I told you lately that I love you?" Novella asked her settling on Rose's lap instead of the rest of the couch. To some, it would have been fast but it really wasn't. Novella, having been named Nephele at the time, had spent the rest of her life in love and mourning her. The whole time the Cullens had been in forks she felt drawn to her. These feelings were always there. Novella wrapped her arms around Rosalie's neck and kissed her. Feeling Rose's arms wrap around her waist. It just felt right.

#fanfic #fanfiction #fic #twilight fanfic #novella lambert #novella lambert/rosalie hale #ocxrosalie hale #oc/rosalie hale #rosalie hale #1000-1500 words #tw: kissing #tw: anxiety #one shot

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udon-udon · 1 year

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2022 recap

Let’s see... 2022 was a pretty wild ride, not gonna lie

Shall we start from the beginning? Hmmmm the beginning of 2022..... SheEEEESH. It was my last semester of my final year for my bachelor’s degree in graphic design for marketing (wait, I have a bachelors? LMAOOOO I forget that I have one now holy cow wait a sec). I also remember being very very stressed out about my 3 week practicum I had to do in Feb. Alongside that were a ton of projects like portfolio making, final projects for said portfolio, the grad show etc etc. It was VERY busy and stressful. Luckily, the practicum went on without a hitch, and school projects were done with, and one of the bigger projects was well received so YAY!! And then of course, graduation rolled around in April, and I finally made it!! And then I got hired right after graduation which im still super thankful for cause I got hella lucky, really.

So work started in around late May/early June and it took a while to get used to things. I’ve never worked full time at an office before so there were many things I had to learn and stuff, but other than that I’m just glad I’m able to deliver the things I’m tasked to do, and they seem like they like me, so :’) Of course I still have my moments where I feel like I’m not cut out for the job or I think I’m doing horribly and for some reason think they’re going to fire me any time soon LOOL... but anywho... I started a deskmat project (which is still delayed unfortunately, i don’t want to talk about it...) but hoping that can get picked back up sometime soon... I was also rushing on new prints as well for con season so that was pretty wild.

Summer then came and WHEW. I got covid. Luckily it just felt like a regular cold, so I might have gotten a weaker strain of it. It was quite scary though since I live with family and I was afraid of spreading it to them (of course I ended up doing so cause we share the same bathroom, but they survived) Aside from that, I tabled for the first time in 3 years! AND I DID GREAT! I really missed tabling and honestly it might have been because of the turnout at the events but damn I did better than I’ve ever did, which is crazy. It really makes me want to get better and table more, but it do be pretty exhausting. Anyway, the summer was great imo, but jesus the fall took a nosedive.

September was alright, and for the second time, I didn’t have to worry about going back to school anymore which was kind of surreal again. I was finishing up the art commissions that I paused to work on the anime convention prints. I finished those up so I can focus on the Yuri Game Jam 2022 in Oct-Nov but little did I know.............. I would not be able to make it v n v. I underestimated the time management needed while working a 9-5 job and my lack of discipline... Also cause I didn’t have a clear vision of this year’s game which made me literally go in circles until I had no time left by the time I actually kind of had something down.... I became so stressed over the story that it branched out to other bad thoughts and I just spiraled really hard. Things that I said I would not let bother me had bothered me again and god I hated it so much. Why can’t I just... not think about those things. Hoping to stop those thoughts in 2023 though. So yeah I got really stressed so sadly I had to shelve the project and not release anything for this year’s game jam. I was very disappointed in myself, and it was a very tough decision to break my visual novel streak but I had to do what I had to do. After dropping the project I felt much much much much much better. Hoping to revisit the project again sometime though, now that I decided to release it whenever it’s ready (but will i have the proactiveness to go back to it? that is another story LOL)

So November was over with and December rolled around. December itself was stressful yet okay at the same time? Stressful in terms of spiraling at work again, but I also managed to just chill out and do whatever. And of course, the week-long break from work helped a ton (as I’m writing this thinking back I did absolutely nothing that week but that’s what I wanted most) Hopefully I’ll go back to work rejuvenated again cause I was clearly burnt out from work lmao. I should make use of my vacation days more man. Anyway since it was recent, I vividly remembering spiraling again over subject that shall not be mentioned, and I had no one to ground myself with so I had to try to ground myself somehow which I do try to do more so than rely on others. Luckily I recovered from the spiraling relatively quickly, so maybe it’s an improvement and if I ever encounter that subject again it’ll be an even faster recovery and soon it will be over? That’s what I’m hoping for 2023. Definitely a goal. Please let my 2023 self not let it bother me anymore please please please please (though i think i said that in 2022 no? hahaha) i jsut want to be loved v n v and not feel like my friends are leaving me one by one :’))))))))))))))))))))))))

ANYWAY Thank you for reading until the end. Ultimately, I want to worry less about subjects that make me go insane and just be happier. I’m a Bocchi that needs to find a close knit of supportive friends that can make me take another step in life :’)))))) LOOOOL And of course, I would like to draw more. Planning on opening art commissions in the new year some time soon so stay tuned. Hoping to table some more too! Though I don’t have much to sell hahahaha;;; Well then, until next year!

#personal #adventures with udon

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blackbloodteeth · 9 months

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[2022 Nov.] - Redrew different Souls for a week long art prompt challenge, each in a different colored pen

Prompts: Nocturnal, Wind, Secret, Mask, Float, Shadow, Treasure

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(obligatory lore dumping below, most of them just copypasted from when I made them)

Nocturnal: This Soul is a werewolf after his turning went wrong and he decides to stay over at Maka's place after finding himself not having changed back the next morning. Not sure if I'll ever get around to writing his story but this is related to one of the scenes.

Wind: Stormy Soul was actually created from a past October prompt a couple years back, and I couldn't help but think of him drifting carefree through the breeze haha He's made of clouds, condensed water, and lightning that can appear more like wings as he moves around - Just a little storm cloud floating here or there for a fun time.

Secret: Some say that if you typo Soul's name hard enough you can summon this variant, an eldritch entity of some sort that really likes bread and really loves sandwiches (PBJs seem to be a particular favourite). Quite a mysterious little guy; Sometimes the gestures get lost in translation but communication is often done through words visibly appearing over its head (there's debates over whether this is some form of stardust condensation or simply light manipulation), which range anywhere between cryptic advice or its desire for more sammies (no one actually knows how they can eat so many despite being nearly as big as one). I was gonna draw the human companion buddy and designated sammie creator variant Soul the Secrets Seeker but this pen is rather weak and difficult to use, so at least have the trivia that this guy feels something like soft fluffy dough or a plush toy depending on how your brain can process them haha

Mask: This Soul variant was originally for a past October prompt of "Disgusting" (a self-proclaimed title), and was thought to have died before he mysteriously vanished from the autopsy room. He spent a while hiding away from everyone until eventually making slow anonymous contact with Maka, who finally brought him home after seeking him out directly. Since then he's been making a steady good recovery even if his anatomy and stabilizing blood pressure makes being upright difficult, though he now wears a mask to hide his still reforming face.

Float: These two were for this prompt of a past October, though it was changed when I was dissatisfied with it (left was moved to Ominous, and right does not currently have a nickname but did come back from being scrapped entirely). The actual Float Soul is basically a Flying type Floatzel (get it?) but I've never drawn concept art, so take these two past nickname iterations. Note: Not to scale, left being around half human height and right being able to fit in your hands (if he isn't nibbling on them).

Shadow: I could've drawn the Soul who is actually a shadow but the textures for this were too tempting haha This variant was actually originally made as a standing papercraft and might actually canonically be that way (yeah I was inspired by Super Paper Mario hah) but it's been too long for me to fully remember, other than he has another form that looks more human that also lacks any art.

Treasure: This dragon Soul is said to be guarding a rare and unusual treasure all by his lonesome, though others think that perhaps maybe the thing he is truly coveting is the return of someone he's waiting for...

#2022 art #traditional art #soul eater #soul variant

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magic-space-games · 1 year

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Life and health update or whatever.

So I’ve had this health update post sitting around in my drafts for goddamn months at this point, and right now I’m actually feeling good enough to, like... write a big-ass update with how all my various health things are going so uh... sorry folks, this is gonna be a long one. Also, warnings for frank discussion of negative health shit.

Here’s what I originally wrote

Nov. 11th 2022

So the surgeons completely missed the lump the first time (not uncommon, I'm not mad about it.) Lumpectomy round two went well! I have been recovering the last couple days, and this recovery has been easier in some ways, trickier in others. This surgery went closer to my armpit, but not actually in my armpit, so my arm has more freedom of movement but anything I do that causes my tit to shift is... bad. I have been relying very heavily on travel pillows. Also I am now quite certain that they got the right lump this time because whenever I touch the spot that the lump used to be in it Fucking Hurts.

This time around, they put a wire into the lump before surgery so that there was no mistaking it. The ultrasound team did that, and I asked them if they could give me pictures, and they said yes!!!! So I have pictures of Jeff!!!

(Jeff is the darker grey mass in the middle that looks a bit like a croissant.)

Also, I told my surgeon that I named the lump Jeff Bezos and she thought it was very funny, so I am going to get a good grade in breast cancer patient, which is normal to want and possible to achieve. Anyway, the surgeon wrote this on my recovery plan sheet:

The text reads “lumpectomy revision with wire localization (Excision of Jeff Bezos.)

__________

Now, here’s what’s been going on with me more recently.

Because the cancer spread to one of my lymph nodes (micrometastasis, caught pretty early) I’m being given a combo of chemo and radiation. Chemo started on Jan. 5th, and will be continuing into March. It’s not 100% certain when radiation will start, because we’re waiting on my genetics test to come back. If it turns out that I have The Curse then I’ll probably go for a double mastectomy and ovary removal, which should be done before radiation so that the body can heal properly from the surgery. My oncologist (who I love, he is absolutely hilarious) has called this the “less shitty” chemo. So far I have to agree. The first week wasn’t great, but I already feel almost back to normal (I know that the effects are cumulative, so it’s only gonna go downhill from here, but I’ll take my little victories where I can.) The only lasting side effect I’ve had from the chemo so far has been my mouth going numb. The first few days, my mouth tasted really chemically, and my sweat smelled pretty acrid, but that’s faded significantly. It’s just my body trying to flush the chemo drugs however it can.

The vast majority of the negative side effects I’ve been dealing with have been from the bone marrow booster Grastofil (it doesn’t give me more marrow, it just makes my marrow produce more blood cells.) Holy fuck, I have never felt pain like that. It literally felt like my bones were vomiting. Not woozy/nauseous. Like they were actually in the act of vomiting. I did also end up with a bit of a UTI because of my immune system being suppressed, but that ain’t shit compared to the bone pain. Also, I have to self-inject it, and it turns out that I faint when I try. My neighbour has actually been helping me with them because one of her kids has diabetes, so she has to do loads of these injections already and is used to it.

The actual chemo infusion itself isn’t the worst. I originally thought I’d have to drive two hours to the big city hospital to do it, but I only have to drive about 45 minutes. The nurses there are SO kind and have excellent bedside manner. They aren’t condescending, which was something I was a little worried about. The infusion itself takes about 2 hours. The first one is docetaxel, it takes a little over an hour, and while that’s on the IV I have to wear ice mitts and booties so that I don’t get any nerve damage in my fingers and toes. I think this is probably the worst part of the actual infusion process (so far) because I’m just left having to watch stuff on my phone or whatever while trying to ignore how cold I am. The second infusion is cyclophosphamide, and it lasts about 45 minutes. I haven’t had any nausea yet (knock on wood) and it’s possible that I might never. I haven’t lost my hair yet, but I did shave it off in preparation.

I’ve still been able to work a fair amount. This is a relief, because it makes scheduling a whole hell of a lot easier.

Anyway, that’s what’s been going on with my health lately! I have no clue when I’ll update again! Assume I’m fine if I’m posting I guess?

#personal /#once again. and i cannot stress this enough. if you know me IRL and you see this post NO you FUCKING did NOT. do NOT interact w this post.

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findingmypeace · 2 years

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9/24/2022

Today was my last day of treatment/last day of php. It was kind of a weird day. I started off really depressed. We had breakfast and then went to our first group. The group leader said we were going to play charades which I really didn’t want to do. But the other people in the group turned it into Pictionary and soon we were all laughing and joking and having a great time. I didn’t even realize I was getting into it until group was almost over. When group was over I thought about how I desperately needed that moment of laughter. It was probably the first time I’ve genuinely laughed in weeks. For just a few moments I had some relief from the heavy depression I’ve been experiencing. The next group wasn’t as active but we still had fun. (It’s Saturday programming and everyone was complaining how Saturday programming is too emotional so they decided to make Saturday’s a little easier) After that group we had lunch. The conversation at lunch was good but food/behaviors was really hard. We had one more group, then snack, then it was over.

Throughout the day I kept thinking how this is the last time for___. This is the last time I’ll portion my meal, the last time I’ll be supplemented, the last time I’ll be sitting in the chair up front, journaling, this is the last time I’ll feel out a daily check-in. And today I didn’t need to fill out a food journal because no one will be reading it on Monday. Gathering my stuff at the end of the day, saying goodbye to the PCT’s, and walking out the doors for the last time was also very sad. It still doesn’t feel real. It feels like I will be going back like normal on Monday. But I won’t.

Last weekend, when the nurse talked to me, she made me repeat a few things (one was that I am a badass bitch!). The other was that I am safe everywhere. I told her I am not, especially not at home. She repeated that I am safe because I have the power to keep my myself safe. The thing is, I rarely feel (emotionally) safe. Everything is always scary. But this outpatient PHP/iop treatment center really, really became a safe place for me. I could express all the distorted, trauma based, thoughts in my head and no one would judge me. In fact, instead they would give me support. Getting that support was so important to me. I am going to miss the staff so much.

Right now, I am at home after the day is over. I’m pretty sad but I’ve managed to keep myself busy/distracted for most of the evening. I’m grasping at straws to keep myself going and right now that’s the very slim hope that my (former) outpatient therapist will take my new insurance and allow me to continue to see her. Reminding myself of things she has told me is the only thing really keeping me feeling safe. I can put on “therapist” me when I need to but outside of that I’m afraid I might completely collapse if I do lose my outpatient therapist.

The thing is, I probably won’t have a therapist for a few months unless that therapist specializes in eating disorders and takes both my current insurance and the insurance I will have through work in a couple of months. Where I live most therapists that specialize in eating disorders don’t take any insurance and are only private pay. If I’m going to pay out of pocket to begin with I will see my current therapist since the whole reason she wanted me to switch is to see someone covered by my insurance. (I might as well private pay her). But if I see a new therapist I won’t be able to see them until my new insurance kicks in at the end of Nov. I don’t know if I can wait that long. I won’t be seeing my outpatient dietitian for at least a month either. I’m basically feeling my way in the dark because I have so little professional support. I really don’t know how I’m going to get through everything. I feel very alone.

#personal #bulimia #depression #eating disorder #ed treatment #attachment trauma

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lauranyx · 1 year

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My Stray Kids Fanmeet Experience

So i saw skz for the first time in real life the other day (jan 202023 to be exact :p) and i wanna write my whole experience so that i can look back at this in the future cuz my memory is shit 😅

It all started last year 2022 around Nov/Dec when bench announced that they'll have a bench x stray kids fanmeet this Jan 2023 (excite excite) so obv i just HAD to get tickets. ITS STRAY KIDS HELLO?

minor detour for some of that extra context lol:

I got into skz mid to late 2021 and ofc it was felix with his deep ass “cooking like a chef” yt short that sucked me in. From then on i just got hooked into their content and just them in general. Really nice to see a grp thats around my age doing something amazing like what theyre doing now.

Anyway! Back to my fan meet xp

So last yr i saw the announcement and got all majorly excited. At first i was thinking of getting VIP tickets. I was actually willing to spend 8k for a fanmeet and a chance to receive a poster from them. But then i saw the lines in bench and i was like,, hell naw! I aint gonna be putting myself through that. Y’all can wait in line for that imma spend my time elsewhere. So i waited for the promo period to get tickets for lower box instead. This was only 4k with a chance for a bye wave opportunity (no physical up close interaction like shaking hands or anything but at least u get to see them closer up). I was totally fine w this since i spend less and since im not going for what majority (who can afford) want, less ppl to deal with/wait in line for.

Now.. i went through s t r u g g l e just to claim my ticket after buying my stuff from bench. Dont really wanna retype everything since ive already shared w my friends so imma just attach screenshots of my rant

(Screenshots here)

Now, after that whole ordeal, is the new year and i honestly forgot there was a raffle. Also can i just say, thank goodness ate girl (for those that dont know ate is filipino for sister that we use even for non relatives.. kinda like noona/unnie) was kind enough to send me my code that night so i was still able to enter my code for the raffle to win a bye wave opportunity. Cuz if not… i wouldnt have seen skz up close😿

Jan 12 day of the bye wave winners announcement: I checked my email around morning and noon; nothing. So i was like ayt, i didnt win. I’ll still get to see skz tho irl w decent seats.

BUT THEN

when i checked my email again in the evening- actually i didnt purposefully check my mail; i just saw the push notif on my phone. Something like “STRAY KIDS WINNER, congratulations!” and I FREAKED THE FUCK OUT. Like OH MY GOD. OH. MY. GOD!! I WON?!?!??? Suuuper ecstatic. Kept squeeling and shit. I could not even.😶😱🤗😵🥴🫠🤪🤪🤪

After i was able to calm down, I immediately let ate girl know if we could meet up earlier so i can get my receipt back so i can have no trouble on the day of the fanmeet when i claim the raffle. She was nice enough to agree and meet up earlier and it was nice that she seemed happy for my win (she also bought lb tix) kinda regretful i didnt try to be friends w her but im shy so whatever. I just want receipt so i can see the bois😛😁😁😁

Cut to day of fan meet. Wait no- actually.. the week of the fanmeet. The monday of that wk is when i met up w ate gurl to get my receipt. Friday was the fanmeet. In between i was tryna decide my outfit (that i dont have a pic of but whatever. i’ll describe it nalang) which ended up being a kinda loose white tank top with a green plaid long sleeve on top then dark grey/black slim jeans. Add in a couple of accessories ( choker, chains, earrings) and we’re good to go. Oh i also had on my hidden high heel highcut black sneakers (or at least i think theyre sneakers; can never remember fashion shtuff)

In case it wasn’t obvious i was fully planning to go on my own since my friends/cousins said they couldnt (busy or broke) so whatever. BUT THEN my friend, day before the fanmeet- night before actually- was like “ hey! Joke lang im actually going to the meet” so i was like “omg yay!” Not like that exactly but yeah. Same sentiments :p

I asked my friend if we could meet up on fri and she said sure. She’ll just be w her friend who got her the ticket.

Now! We can finally cut to the day of the fanmeet. Claiming for raffle winners are from 10am-2pm then theres an orientation @3pm so i went to moa around 12-1230, got my photo cards (chan, leeknow, & hyunjin) and the wristband showing me as a bye wave winner. Went around moa, had lunch in jollibee, waited around in my car for my friend to arrive around 4, 5pm. Ate again in ikea resto then we finally went to the venue.

While lining up we made friends w another stay who gave out some freebies (ngl i forgot her name🥲) she was sweet. I was kinda stupid and decided to split up from my friend (cuz there 2 lines and the one i went to was shorter but my friend didnt follow so 🙃☹️) so i ended lining up alone when i told her that i wanted to meet up so i wouldnt line up alone lol. Anyway, i got inside moa arena went to my seat in lb 221 and got ready for the fanmeet.

The fanmeet started around 7pm (tho gates opened at 5) it wasnt fully packed inside but there were still a LOT of Stay that attended. Tho i think gen ad was fully packed.

Honestly everything happened so fast that if i didnt take videos and didnt see the vids that others have posted online, i woulda forgotten everything but i know i enjoyed every minute of it😁

So first off skz opened w God’s Menu then the host, Sam Oh (who i know of because she used to be on radio and i loved listening to her shows then), introduced them and on the programme went.

The kids played some jenga w missions, whisper challenge, dance replay challange, domino challange, paint a shirt that was raffled out to the audience) call w a fan(that didnt work out cuz of cell service issues) also i didnt quite get that WE had to call the numbers of the phones in front of the skz members so i didnt really try until it was too late. One fan was able to connect tho but it didnt really work out too well. Im glossing over these and might have mentioned them in the wrong order but thats because there are tons of vids out there about these so i won’t go into detail.

At the end of the fan meet skz performed Case 143 and we moved on to the giving out of signed posters THEN my long anticipated bye wave opportunity. So while the poster receivers were getting ready so were the bye wavers. There was an usher of sorts holding a sign for us to recognize and follow to the exit. The staff told us that no pics/vid was allowed😕 sucks but i was planning to sneak a vid if possible. Others also tried im sure of it. I was 15/200 in line. Unfortunately because i was so close to the front and they were ushering us to the stage pretty fast, i couldnt set up my phone to video on time. No matter tho. There was a barrier that was too high for the phone in my front jean pocket to even capture anything so it wouldve failed anyway.

Going up the stage felt so rushed even tho the videos showed that we werent even walking that fast. But it felt so fast that i couldnt even tell you what order the kids were in when i was waving bye to them. Thank god for other Stays tho so imma put their line up here so i can recall my experience better

They were grouped by twos behind some barriers that looked like kiosk stands from left to right (tho we entered right and left the stage left) it went

Chan - Lee Know | Changbin - Hyunjin | Han - Felix | Seungmun - I.N.

We were like 5ft away from them kandhaksbskabxj

Ok so first i saw was IN and i gotta be honest i cant remember the experience 😭😭 id like to say we made brief eye contact but im not sure. I think i saw that he was looking at the ones behind me so i moved my eyes to Seungmin. Again i cant remember anymore so idek what actually happened here

Now Seungmin, bb, i swear we made eye contact and i think i shocked him with my hair cause his eyes widened and mouth opened wider while looking at me aidbsidbdlaj. Context: i have a shaved head. Tho im in the middle of growing it out. My last shave was mid Dec last yr so my hair at this point is about an inch to an inch and a half

Lemme just insert here that i COULD NOT stop smiling

Next was Felix and oh. my. GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!!!! We made the looongest eye contact ever!!! wodbsisbdb SWEAR!! At least 2 seconds! It was glorious~ And his face was just so beautiful and his smile was angelic and he may not be my bias but he lives rent free mehn. Rent. Free. Period.

Ayt so Han. My bb, my bias. I feel so bad cause i think i got so caught up w looking at felix ( making fucken 2 second eye contact) that i think Han saw me not looking at him so he went on to say bye to the ones behind me already😖😣😔😢😭 tho i did try to catch his eyes but no such luck cause i had to keep moving

Moving on, it was Hyunjin. Very brief, my encounter with him. Again i think i spent too long looking at Felix that it just pushed back the rest to skip over me causing me to miss meeting eyes with the rest. But Hyunjin 👌 also he be the tallest of the grp

Same thing with Changbin tho i really did try my best to look at them whenever they were more or less directly in front of me. The size of this man tho! Batak! So buff 💪 i just wanna feel… all of it👀 in a non sexual way ofc😶 unless? 😏 jk (or am i🤔)

Anyway!

Lee Know is so pretty like wtf . But again he was already looking at those behind me😞 and i had to keep the line moving so.. sad=me Lee Know is my bias wrecker pa naman🫤 i really love his relationship w Han whether its just friends or whatever it is I just love seeing the interactions. (Ngl tho,, the fan edits of minsung that i see Stay post? Mmm is something alright)

Bang fucken Chan DOE! Maybe cuz he’s last idk. But he made it a point to look at me in the eyes😍🥰 made me soo happy~ and his smile! And dimples! My gosh he’s just adorable☺️😊🫠🫠🤭 i just wanna be your friend man. Actually i just wanna be friends with all 8 of them bdkajxhak

Moving on.

After all this we were ushered out of the arena and I decided to loiter a bit outside before i went back to my car. Fangirled like crazy. Then promptly went back to the hotel. I fangirled again when i saw my cousins at the hotel roofdeck cuz i couldnt just keep this in mehn i had to let it out and share my joy.

Later in the night i found out that skz stayed a bit longer to jam w the crowd while Doodle was playing. Kinda jealous but i got to see them up close so im content for now.

The upcoming concert in March tho.. i NEED to get sound check and vip tix. I just gotta💪 heres to me, hopin’ i get the tickets i want🤞🤞

#skz #stray kids #bench fanmeet #personal experience #i wouldve fixed my typos but thats not who i am lol #i think i did ok anyways #stray kids everywhere all around the world you make stray kids stay #stray kids bench fanmeet #stray kids fanmeet #idk y i bothered to tag this i dont actually want ppl to read👀#insert keyboard smash here #nvm ill do it myself #landjajdna #oki bye #this is my longest post ever i think

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