#nothing wrong with marvel btw!!!! my boyfriend loves them v much | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

peeterparkr · 6 years

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pretty woman iv|t.h.

collaboration with @marvelousxtsh and @misformarvel my girls ♡ here’s the next one, enjoy.

a/n: Okay so the exciting part is finally arriving, you know, you might wana watch the movie and listen to the song NON-STOP, btw, just as you’re finishing the chapter press play to this song ;)

series masterlist- i. ii. iii. iv. v.

after breaking up with your boyfriend, losing your job and barely hanging on to any hope, Hollywood’s sweetheart bachelor party might be the easiest way to get money.

summary: a series of ‘one on one’s

warnings: language, mentions of addiction, fake marriage

paring: tom x reader

word count: 3.8k

our masterlists: marcia | melanie | nancy

Comments & reblogs are appreciated. Be kind.

It was a hard night, the hardest they had in a long time. Amber fell asleep on his shoulder in the drive back to her home. Tom was tired but still shaken by the adverse events of the night. He contemplated the city, from the slum area they were at to the magnificent condo, where his fiancée lived. Tom remembered his talk with Y/N earlier, and he felt guilty to think he was the most miserable being on earth. Maybe love doesn’t exist and what we have is the nearest thing to it. His proposal came back to his mind, he could have done it so much better. He could have tried, at least, to make it better. Now he was asking for a miracle to release him from this absurd charade, which almost happened that night. He would never forgive himself if something happened to Amber. He could not bear to lose her.

The driver opened the door for them. Tom lifted Amber in his arms, bridal style. She looked peaceful and fragile. For a moment he saw Amber the way the world did, and he didn't like it. Amber wasn't like that at all, she was a thunderstorm. He wanted to hear her laugh cracking the uncomfortable silence. Maybe love didn’t exist, and this was the nearest he would be from it.

Amber woke up as soon as he placed her under her bedsheets. “I don’t deserve you, schatzy” she muttered, her eyelids still heavy.

“You know that’s not true” Tom smirked, sitting on the bedside table. “You’ve been beside a hospital bed day and night for weeks if that’s not enough to deserve this.”

“I did it for me, I needed a quiet place to read my scripts," she giggled tiredly. “It was the least I could do for you, Tom. It was my fault”.

“Well, you encouraged me to do that stunt, but I was the one doing it without following the instructions” Tom grabbed her hand.

“You broke your back Thomas, you could’ve died, or worst, become a veggie.”

“Amber!” Tom stopped her. “I’d stay, but I have to change, and pick up my family from the airport, so promise me you’re gonna rest and you’re not gonna do something stupid.”

“Pinky promise, nothing stupid. At least not today” she smiled, throwing him a kiss. Tom turned the lights off and left the apartment. It was a long night and the next day was going to be longer and harder.

“Care to explain yourself, Y/N?” Cassie was waiting for them in their living room with her legs crossed as they entered the room. Her frown was furrowed, and her chest was covered by her arms. She was wearing her blue dress, and the red lipstick was still on. Her cold stare made Y/N uncomfortable as they strolled down to her. Maddie was carrying the red dress, as her friend watched them intently.

Y/N was wearing the sweatshirt she had borrowed from Diego. “I’m sorry, I was trying to save Mad’s friend.”

“I don’t fucking care. Look, we had a deal, you had to behave, right? And what did you do? Blow a fucking client up?” Cassie’s sharp voice was full of poison, making Y/N step back.

“Do you know how mad Senator Warren was? You ditched him and cost me a big client! All so you could have what? A fucking fairytale with Tom Holland and bang him afterwards?”

“I didn’t bang-”

“Of course you didn’t, you left. Where did you even go?” Cassie asked, and before Y/N could even answer Cassie shook her head. “You know what? I get all of this for you and then you back away the first minute. Get out, Y/N. Get out of my house.”

“No, Cassie-”

“Do you know how much money you cost me tonight?” Cassie retorted.

“Cassie-” Madeline stepped in, but Cassie was quick to shut her up.

“No, Madeline. You don’t fucking understand, because you guys got paid by Amber and me? I didn’t get anything, so whatever Amber paid for her, I get the money.”

“Well okay…”

“But I meant it, get out of my house.”

The ride from LAX to the hotel was eternal. Tom had a terrible headache and his parents hadn't quit talking since he picked them the airport. His mom was really excited about the wedding. He felt terrible.

The twins knew the truth about him and Amber, but Tom couldn’t tell his parents and little brother about it. They were convinced of his happiness and were very fond of Amber. Maybe that was one of the reasons Tom thought marrying her was a good idea. It made sense for everyone else, they looked perfect together.

“I can’t believe the big day is almost here” Nikki pressed his hand, showing her excitement. “Time flies. It’s like we met Amber yesterday, and she’s becoming a Holland in about three days.” Tom nervously laughed and kept driving with the last image of Amber he had in his head; passed out, laying on a stranger’s bathtub.

Tom booked rooms for his family at the same hotel he was staying in. What a marvelous idea you dick, he told to himself remembering the mocking glances of the staff when they saw Y/N walking beside him. Those glances would be on his parents now, on Amber. He did nothing, but guilt was there, ready to torture him for a while.

Haz and the twins received them with big smiles and long hugs.

“Where’s Amber?” Nikki asked right after she finished squeezing her sons. Sam panicked, and Harry tried to hide a smug grin. Before they could come up with something, Haz invented an acceptable excuse.

“My bad, I should’ve told you before but didn’t want to ruin this moment for you all. Amber called me, she tried to reach Tom, but you know the lack of signal at the airport. She’s kinda sick, so she stayed at home. She's fine now though, says it’s just a stomach bug.”

“Stomach bug, huh?” Nikki said in a suspicious tone “this isn’t a weird way to tell me I’m becoming a nan, is it?”

Tom's eyes went wide open, the twins could barely contain their laughs. “Actually, we grabbed some street food last night, and it was a terrible idea. But you know she’s more delicate than I am so poor Amber, I should probably go to see her” he tried to complete Harrison’s version. “You should check-in and go get some rest. I’m sure you need it after so many hours flying.”

The twins stayed with the rest of the family, Tom and Haz made their way up to Tom’s car. Haz was the one to break the silence.

“You still got time to cancel this whole thing. You know that?”

“Don’t fuck with me now, Haz. I’m not in the mood,” Tom snapped.

“Tom, you’re going to get married, this is nothing like accepting a role in a movie,” Haz warned his friend with pity. “It’s an actual fucking marriage, this is your life.” He knew that sugar-coating the thing wasn’t going to help at all.

“Yeah, and exactly because it’s my life I can decide to do it,” Tom retorted, Haz knew better. His friend didn’t want to do this. And the whole bullshit farce had come too far. Yes, to say they were dating was no damage, but marrying her, giving away his life to every single producer just to get himself the lead parts wasn’t exactly the guy Harrison knew. Tom had lost his essence.

“You don’t love her, you shouldn’t be marrying someone you don’t love,” said Harrison, trying then to convince him with the feelings and not with the life card, he didn’t know what card to pull anymore.

“Lots of people do that, love is bullshit anyway,” Tom shrugged.

“That's cause you haven't found it,” Harrison tried to convince his friend.

“Ah, piss off, Haz,” Tom rolled his eyes and cackled cynically. “Don't pull that kind of crap.”

“Okay, well let’s get real,” Harrison crossed his arms “I know for a fact you shouldn't get married, and Amber? Fucking Amber Healy? Are you willing to put on with all her crap? Just last night you had to look up for someone to get her out of an overdose.”

“She’ll change,” Tom looked away.

“You know that she won’t,” Haz stated.

“It’ll make me look good if I marry her. People want me to marry her,” Tom gritted his teeth.

“But do you, Thomas, do you want to marry her?” Harrison asked.

“Yes,” he hesitated.

“Bull,” Haz took a deep breath. “SHIT.”

“I can’t do anything right now, it’d kill my career if I backed away today,” explained Tom, “and I can't do that to Amber, and besides you’re not helping with this.”

“I’m your bloody best friend, and I can see that you’re unhappy and you’re ruining your life. Harry and Sam think so, too.”

“Well, I’ve already made my decision. I can’t cancel it now,” Tom shrugged, “I owe her don’t you think?”

“What she did for you is no reason to marry her. Don’t get me wrong, I love her, she’s awesome, and as a friend, she’s amazing, but she’s no wife material, she won’t make you happy.”

“Well, at least I’ll have you there,” Tom threw his hands in the air in defeat.

“Not for too long, and you know that Tom,” Haz shrugged.

Amber was texting in the back of her car, wearing big sunglasses to cover the big dark circles around her eyes, she had a bottle of water and was drinking some pills to cease a headache the hungover had given her. She was tapping her foot nervously as she approached the place she had been in last night. Just a few days until the wedding, and there were still a lot of things to do, and she couldn’t care any less.

It was all a farce, and it bothered her, not because of Tom, no. She loved him. But she was tired of showing her charming facade to the cameras and audiences. Giving away her perfect life and hiding her true feelings, her roots. It was impossible to keep it a secret, and without Tom, her career would’ve been ruined by now. Because, of course, someone who looked at her expected her to be what she was, an actress part of the infamous Taylor Swift squad, and every teenage girl’s role model. If only they knew. Such a mess she was, and she wasn’t proud of it, but she kept living her life as if nobody was watching because nobody was.

The latin neighborhood looked better in the morning, but it showed the true colors of the place. Amber’s gut gurgled up as she looked out to the small houses.

The place where she had made Tom go. It wasn’t fair to Tom. He deserved much better than her, and it made her feel guilty. She always wanted to make it up to him but ended up screwing up, just like last night. He couldn’t catch a break.

She arrived at the blue house and just stared at it, barely remembering what had happened. “Okay, Alton,” Amber said to her driver and bodyguard. “It won’t take me long, but if anything happens I’ll scream or something.” she patted his back as she slid off the car. She rang the doorbell.

“Voy (I’m coming),” the voice answered, Amber, waited up. Diego opened the door, confused to see that Amber Healy was standing right in front of him again in less than 24 hours. He was wearing a blue outfit, Amber assumed he was a nurse. “Oh.”

“Hello,” Amber greeted him and walked past him, without asking for his permission to go in. Diego stared at her and glanced at the car but then closed the door. He cursed internally, Y/N and her troubles chasing him down again and again.

“Miss Healey, this isn’t a good idea. I told you and your friends last night, but it seems like I haven’t been clear enough. This neighborhood is filled with people desperate to make some bucks, and this is Los Angeles, how long do you think it’ll take the press to post pictures of you entering my house?”

“They probably are looking up for me on the other side of the city, expecting to see me in my wedding dress, I think we’re good, and I’m gonna be quick,” Amber said. “You saved my life, and I’m getting married in about three days. You may think I’m a kook or something like that, but I really want you to come to the wedding.”

“What?” Diego laughed, thinking about how bizarre it all was. He saved Amber Healey from an overdose, who was brought by his ex, who was a prostitute now and probably hooked up with the actress’ husband to be. “I guess Y/N’s invited too” he added jokingly.

“Well, her friend Madeline’s coming. If you want I can invite her too and then you can make a move to gain her back since you’re obviously still not over her” Amber giggled and pointed at the framed pictures of the formerly happy couple.

Diego cleared his throat. “Qué? (what?) I’ve been meaning to unhang them, but I never have the time,” he explained embarrassed. “However, I’ll have to decline your offer.”

“Okay” Amber sighed and made a dramatic pause “Time to be honest, I guess. The thing is I did some research today, and I know you work with people who have this, how to say it? Inclination.”

“Now I’m really confused. Did you stalk me?” Diego frowned.

“I’m sorry, but after what you did for me I really trust you. I tend to overstep, but I really need your help. I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to do this to Tom anymore”. She looked down and started bouncing one of her legs, clearly nervous. Diego recognized all of those gestures, she was asking for help with and without words. She was crumbling, and she wanted it to stop. But not for herself, she did it for Tom.

“Look, Amber. I can help you, but you have to do this for yourself, not for him, you don’t owe him anything,” Diego’s voice was soft. “You can’t be forced to do this.”

“I’m not being forced,” Amber shook her head, “I want to do this because I don’t want him to put with all of my crap.”

“Linda (pretty), if he’s marrying you he’ll kinda have to. And you’ll have to deal with his shit too. If you’re not willing to, well, bad news. That’s what happened to the couple in those pictures.”

“When you love somebody you’re willing to change for them,” Amber said. Perhaps she didn’t love Tom the way she was supposed to, but she did like him, and she wanted him to be happy with her.

Diego, oblivious of the true nature of Tom and Amber’s relationship, felt so sorry about the girl in front of him. He saw Tom as some Hollywood dude, and after seeing him coming along with Maddie and Y/N, and his girlfriend in such state, Diego saw Tom as a dickhead.

“I’ll help you girl, but I’m not coming to the wedding, I mean, how weird would that be.”

“Are you kidding me? If you’re helping me you need to come to the wedding, I need to start the day of the wedding.” Diego frowned and she did her “duh” face.

“Do you even need me there? If anything happens I’ll go or-”

“I need someone to stop me.”

“Can’t Tom do that?” Diego scowled. Her fiance wasn’t helping her. Apparently, Tom had been too busy banging Diego’s ex to pay attention to Amber.

“He’ll be too busy covering me up, and speaking with everyone,” Amber hissed. “Look, maybe you’ll hook up with someone nice. I don’t know, who do you fancy? They’ll probably be there.”

“You know what, I admire your totally out of the place type of humor” he grinned. “I’m coming to your wedding, and I’m keeping you sober.” Amber smiled “Then we’ll talk about Elizabeth Olsen,” he joked.

“Well, here’s your invite,” Amber handed it over. “Now I better leave, have to try my wedding dress.”

Amber was determined to change and convinced that this handsome latino was the one to help her. She liked him as much as Maddie and Tom, and Haz, and the twins. They all had something in common, they seemed to care about her.

She made her way back to the car with a grin on her face. Her phone started to ring as soon as she sat in the back seat. “Yes?”

“Amber?” Madeline’s voice sounded through the speaker.

“Hey, hübsch,” Amber grinned. “I thought I’d never hear from you again, what can I do for you?”

“I’m glad you asked, I do need a favor” she replied in a shaky tone. "I'm sure you remember Y/N, my friend."

“Well yeah, I was drunk but no that drunk,” she laughed.

“Sweetheart, you passed out,” Maddie chuckled and then cleared her throat, “anyway, she needs some help, and I was hoping you'd give it to her. If it's not too much to ask, of course.

“Define help,” Amber requested. “If it’s got anything to do with Tom, I’m afraid-”

“No, no, it’s more complicated than that,” Maddie didn’t sound as cheerful as Amber was used to. “You see, I’m afraid… Look, last night was her first night with us, with Cassie and I, and she blew away one of Cassie’s long-term clients...”

“Oh, her first time, and girl scored no other than Tom fucking Holland, lucky bastard,” Amber laughed.

“Ambs,” Maddie’s voice was cold. “Cassie kicked her out of our place.”

Amber took a deep breath. “Where do I fit into this?”

“She’s going over to Diego’s place, but honestly, she needs to get out of there. I just don’t want her to return to that life, you see, Diego is just too busy with all his medical school thing, and he’s an asshole, and he’s super controlling-”

“You don’t like him,” Amber said because there was nothing wrong with him. What Amber had seen, Diego was a guy who didn’t know what to do anymore with his relationship. Maddie just had something against with him.

“No, I don’t. Look, he may not be that bad, but ugh, I just don’t want Y/N to be with him anymore, and-”

“I’ll take care of her, be her fairy godmother. Let’s give this Cinderella a fairytale” Amber chuckled. “Do you have any idea where she might be?”

“She took a cab so she might be arriving at Diego’s place in any minute,” Maddie said.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Amber hung up and asked her driver to go back to Diego’s place, just in time to see a broken and crying Y/N getting out of the car.

Haz and Tom were waiting at Amber’s house. Haz sitting down in the living room as Tom helped himself out in the kitchen, unsteady as he realized Amber was not in her place, the places she could have gone had Tom feeling uneasy. So he was pouring himself an orange juice as he walked from one place to another, trying to calm himself down.

“And you still wanna marry her,” Haz muttered, rolling his eyes. Tom was cracking his knuckles, worriedly. “Okay, Tom-” Haz tried to get his attention, “Tom! Please, can you chill? She probably went out for some breakfast.”

She hadn’t answered the phone, and Tom was dying. What if she had passed out in the middle of somewhere? Or what if she was lost?

“Wasn’t she going to try her wedding dress today?” Haz asked in an attempt to calm him, it worked. Tom stopped and glanced at his best friend, he was right. She was going to try it, that was it.

“Oh, right,” Tom sat down on the floor. “Sorry, I freaked out.”

“And you guys haven’t even married. Anyway, in other news and crazy nights with crazy girls, you left with one last night, huh?”

Tom cleared his throat, his face turning red with embarrassment. “It’s not what it looked like.”

“Uh-huh,” Harrison smirked. “She looked pretty. Such a pretty woman you left with, honestly.”

“I wasn’t the one receiving a lap dance,” Tom reminded him. “But, no, I actually saved her.”

“Such a prince charming,” Harrison laughed, teasing his friend. Tom rolled his eyes.

“It was her first time, and she didn’t want to be there. Then this old filthy senator tried to take advantage of her and well, I took her out.”

“And?” Harrison raised his eyebrows.

“And we went to McDonald's, and then we just talked,” Tom shrugged. “She was scared, she’s had a tough life.”

“Did you like her?” Harrison was being constant with the questions, trying to poke Tom’s nerves.

“I only spent a few hours with her, man. I wouldn’t be able to know, I mean-”

“Ah, you liked her,” Harrison stated. “You should’ve made a move.”

“I didn’t, because I don’t like her and because, if you can’t remember, I’m getting married in three bloody days,” Tom scowled.

“Yes, you’re getting married in three days with someone you don’t love,” Haz insisted. “Look, mate, I’m not telling you this to annoy you, I’m not being shady, I’m concerned about you. And I do care about Amber too. And she’s got a problem, Tom, she has to face it, and this whole fake marriage thing is not helping.”

“So what you’re saying is I should look up for someone who I do love?” Tom frowned.

“I don’t know, might help you, you’ve been so moody these days, you need to at least get laid, man,” Harrison spoofed. “And we both know you’re not getting some at your wedding night."

“Do you even hear yourself?” Tom was getting pissed.

“See! So bloody moody and edgy,” Harrison laughed. “Look, man, I’m just saying, at least you need a diversion, maybe that girl from last night could help.”

“And how would I even contact her again?” Tom scowled.

Before Harrison could come up with an answer the door was opened, with Amber waddling and clicking her heels, she looked up from her phone and smirked.

“Hello, Schatzy,” she grinned. “Harrison, hey,” Amber hadn’t closed the door behind her, and Alton walked in with a pair of dirty suitcases.

“Amber, where were you?” Asked Tom, worried.

“I was getting you a new assistant, schatzy!” She squeaked, as she turned to the door. Y/N walked in.

tag list (ask) <-If you’re using this one please specify it’s for Pretty Woman

#pretty woman #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland imagine #tom holland x y/n

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coupsdecoeurs-blog · 6 years

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BTS : An Ode to those “Go too far shippers”

Note to self* : Things I'd like to say to BTS "go-too-far shippers" (the rest of you, you're doing absolutely nothing wrong and YOU WILL know reading me that you're not from that disgusting bunch, there will be no doubts, don't worry ! Innocent fantasy is harmless. THAT is not) :

Here's a list of what you have to be doing to be considered a "Go-too-far shipper" :

- FORGETTING that BTS members are REAL HUMAN PEOPLE BEING and not characters from a TV Show or a book or a fudging YAOI. Actually, I'm a hundred percent SURE that you're not new to that kind of fanatism. Let me make a wild guess here : Marvel Universe ? Sherlock ? Supernatural ? Shadowhunters ? Yeaaaaah you know who you are.

- Loosing your precious time editing super long videos to analyse and prove without-a-doubt-omg-you're-so-smart-and-insightful-you-must-be-an-INFJ that your ship is the realest of all ships. It's a freaking Zodiac Boat, it's sailing so fast ! You guys... are loosing sleep over some 1 second footage slowed to the infinite and beyond of member n°7's left eye twitching (but be careful, if you blink, you'll miss it !) when member n°5 looked in his general direction. That proves it right ! I'm telling you ! But... but what is that ? Another shipper used the EXACT same footage to prove that member n°5 is actually doing this to make member n°6 jealous ! Look look ! N°6's fingers moved... slightly when that happened.

You should actually try to watch yourselves on camera. You'd be shipping yourselves with your father.

Plus, this is so creepy guys, watching them for hours, trying to decypher their micro expressions, looking for a sign, omitting what you don't want to see because it's convenient. But you know what ? BTS members get itchy, think about the weather, are sensitive to noise, their crew facing them during interviews, making gestures to tell them "we're running out of time", they have food between their teeth, they get BORED because they don't understand what's being said during english interviews... a thousand stimuli that would justify their eyes twitching better than your theories ever could.

- Actually SENDING the links of your shipping videos, or even worse : pornographic fanart TO BTS via Twitter or else ! You know they are active on social media, your know they go to YouTube, Twitter, Instagram... Do you ever ask yourselves : "Did I go too far with this fanart of member n°6 and member n°7 doing anal ?" And then you put it ON THE FREAKING INTERNET !

Would you like it if someone draw you and one of your friend that you like ONLY as a friend because he is not your type (aka he is not a member of Bangtan) together doing graphic sexual stuff. These 7 men grew up together, are living together, are really close... Why on Earth would they want to see a drawing of themselves in a sexual situation with one of their bandmates. Why ? Think about it, try to have EMPATHY for once (you know, that thing you all think you have tons of), put yourself in their shoes, and tell me you wouldn't be bothered to come across such drawings of yourselves and... let's say your brother ? Your father ? Your sister ? Your best friend ? Your co-worker ? And on top of that, on your Twitter feed, for everyone to see. Wouldn't that be embarrassing ? No of course, BTS would be admiring the likeness, the finess of the details and the liveliness of the art. They are not human after all.

They're Idols !

- Linking EVERYTHING they do to your ship.

Do you think they are THAT single minded ?

That the only thing in their mind at all time is their "boyfriend/bandmate/that-guy-they-spend-their-lives-with-because-it's-their-job" ? Just to be clear... when you are in love (if you've ever been), do you stop LIVING when the object of your affection is not on your mind ? Is it always ? Do you forget your other hobbies ? Like, if all of you fall in love at the same time, will you stop editing those hour long creepy videos ? PLease, let me know, I know one or two dating app that would make tumblr and Youtube a better place !

BTS youngest member is 21 YEARS OLD. None of them is a prepubescent teenager with raging hormones, with no self control and with only making his "boyfriend" jealous as his goal for the day. Yikes ! Let's not forget they are Kpop idols, which mean they are hightly trained (conditioned ?) to control themselves, their emotions etc. to FOCUS on their job. And besides, do you really, trully believe they have nothing better to do during promotion ? Because, let's face it guys (and I know you'll not like this but brace yourselves) : BTS are ALWAYS doing promotion. They are never truly natural. I'm not saying they are not genuine, I love them as much as you do, and I'm respecting them as mu... wait. MORE than you do, because I'm not actively trying to shove a relationship in their faces while they are working their asses off all day long to offer me quality content, music, MV's, while also trying to live their lives.

Maybe that face twitching was sadness. But that doesn't mean it's because they fought with bae this morning.

- Making EVERYTHING sexual. That's it. This is the WOOOORST thing you do.

Exemple I : "Oh lord ! Member n°5 licked his lips. Totally obvious. He was thinking about member n°7, sending him signals. They are totally doing it tonight *insert the giggle of a pervert*

Exemple II : "Hhh ! Member n°2 gulped while looking at n°1. He is so thirsty today !"

Exemple III: " Wow ! N°5's hand is on n°3's shoulder. So erotic. He is actually so subtle, but they know eachother so well. N°3's in for it backstage !"

Exemple IV : "N°4 looked at n°6's lips ! I saw him ! It means he wants to kiss him ! I read it on an article titled "How to know if he's into you" from a... scientific magazine. About body language."

Exemple V : "His legs ACTUALLY twitched, he is such a hoe ! I'm sure he has a boner !" (Like guys, you think I'm exaggerating ? Think again.)

...AAAAaaand sceene.

Once again, try paying attention to every little move your body make during the day. Every time you lick your lips, every time you sigh. Every time your eyes land on a "so called" inappropriate place of your interlocutor's body (yeah ! I know you've been watching your history teacher's ass, you hoe ! Thirsty much ?).

Apply the same logic you do watching BTS members interact, and you'll be thrilled to know that you're sexually attracted to your dog. Congratulations !

- Calling them "hoes", "thirsty"... this is plain insulting. Why, just... why ? I have nothing more to say.

- Insulting and criticizing shippers that have a different OTP than you. Like, being verbally violent sometimes ... over a-freaking-fantasy of a couple that only exists in your sick mind ! LOOK AT YOURSELVES ! Look in a mirror !

You're the same ! All of you !

Why not put your microscopic differences aside, and celebrate what you have in common : CREEPINESS ! You are all so tolerent, accepting differences, bla blah blah... let's not break our own words and stick to your script, shall we ? Some other BTS fan is creepy, but not exactly creepy-like-you ? Let them be creepy their own way ! Your OTP is [57] ? Theirs is [58] ? Not a problem ! At the end of the day, it's all in your head ;)

- Talking about things you know nothing about, or very little. I've mentionned this earlier.

Are you Korean ? Do you have a Ph.D in Korean culture ? No ?

So please, stop talking about such things as "the use of honorifics", "skinship", "the way Korean think about same sex relationships", "compliments between males", "fan service"...

Like, seriously you hate on this heteronormative society that we live in, but you are interpreting every single thing BTS does the wame way you actively despise, ho-so-western of you : "They graze eachother's hands, they're gay ! Proof ! They call eachother handsome : Gay ! Physical affection : Gay ! Impressed by a muscular body ? Gay ! You trully are a product of this toxic society you despise. And btw, if member n°5 does a peace sign and tounge to someone (*cough* a fangirl in the audience *cough*) during a choreography, does that mean... that his boyfriend has in fact a vagina, and that he was doing it for him to excite him in secret code ? No ? Do I hear "fan service" ? I thiiiiiink soooo... But wait, does that mean... That in one way or the other, your simple logic doesn't apply to every situation ? (If you are interested to know, one of BTS members actually did what I've just depicted during a choreography on stage. One of my favorite fancams EVER.)

Anyway : You're not defending any minority behaving like that. You're just adding fuel to the fire. Am I insulting you yet ?

Do you have psychic abilities ? Are you Dr. Cal Lightman from Lie to Me ? No ? So please, stop making assumptions about one facial expression or the involuntary twitching of leg muscles.

Are you a pervert ? Are you dangerously-obsessive-but-lying-to-yourself-by-telling-you-this-is-romantic ? Are you living by proxy ? Are you so focused on the sex life of 7 men - that would find that extremely horrible if they knew you btw - you completely forget to live your own life and experience things ? Yes ? Oh.

Oops!

Let's recapitulate :

- Forgetting that they are real people, and not fictional characters but treating them as such, because hey ! They're famous, they must WANT the attention.

- Editing creepy videos, and actually believing you're raising awareness with your borderline psychic skills at decoding body language. Seriously, you're so sensitive, I'm amazed you're able to have friends, because you see everything : that is your curse.

- Thinking every single member of Bangtan is a single-minded teenage boy in love, incapable of controlling his impulses. Of course he'll waste his time during an interview to try and make his boyfriend jealous. How fun ! Making the person you love jealous. Haha. So intelligent and useful. Just like in that Tv Show you love. You know, the one with the toxic relationships and immature characters !

- Sending fanart to BTS. They're probably used to it, so why not taking your chances and trying to get their attention ! They might even like the picture of themselves giving a BJ to their bro. Aegyooooo !

- Making everything sexual. Not something unhealthy to do. Not at all. Again, so fun !

- Calling the artists you love cute names such as "hoe". Adorable.

- Discriminating shippers that aren't sharing your OTP. You're a pot. They're a kettle. But nobody's black, oh god no !

- Using Google to validate your theories, be it for body language or Korean culture. Everybody reacts the same way to the same things, true fact !

Anyway, that's all for today ! Please feel free to comment, and tell me how much you think I'm right, that you too have been aggravated by those "Go-too-far shippers". That you haven't been fast enough either to buy a ticket to the concert in your country, so you would love it if you could go on tumblr to find new pictures of Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook because you love them all (ALL 7 of them, thank you) but without accidently reading a post about "n°6 and n°7 sitting in a tree. F-U-C-K-I-N-G". If you are tired, like me, please share this post and comment below ! Even I you know, just like I know, that it wll not whange annyhing. But Damn if it felt good writing it !

Thank you !

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