#nothing helps. i Cant talk to people i just cant.

[6ix9inewiturmom]

Long day- matt Sturniolo

Summary: You had a long day at work and matt gives you some lovin to help with your long day :)

Warnings: SMUT, P in V, parsing, oral (fem receiving), unprotected sex, cream pie, use of Y/N, Dirty talking, Degradation, aftercare!

A/N: I LOVE SWEET MATT!! ITS MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE!! ignore the song, i couldn’t find one so since he knows sm about bags

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Today has genuinely been the worst and longest day of my life. I’ve worked front desk at a salon for the last year and a half now, i had people coming in asking me about what to do for their hair type, karen’s complaining about their hair, just overall horrible, im just the front desk lady for right now i cant really tell these fucking people what to do, make a damn appointment. Matt and I have been together for 3 years, and have been dating to the public for a year and a half, when i graduated cosmetology school. thankfully after this cursed wednesday evening i was on my way to Matt and i’s house that we also share with his triplet brothers. i pull into the driveway and make my way to the door and unlocking it.

“Baby?” i yell walking up the steps.

“he’s been in his room playing video games streaming for like 4 hours” nick says shooting me a quick smile before looking back at his phone.

i knock softly on the door “jesus christ im streaming guys” matt slams his head set down on his table and opens the door “Wha- oh my god Y/N i’m so sorry i thought it was one of them” he says quickly changing his tone giving me a soft peck on the lips.

“it’s fine” i breath out giving him a smile walking into his room.

“tell the stream Hi, baby” he pulls my hand into frame making me force a smile onto my face.

“hi everyone” i awkwardly wave to his camera watching the chat go absolutely crazy when i entered.

“okay well i’m gonna end this cause the mother of my future kids just got here” he says making a smile appear on my face.

he ends the stream and turns around facing me almost analyzing me.

“why do you keep looking at me like that?” i roll my eyes and make my way to our shared closet pulling out a pair of his sweats and a T shirt of his.

he walks towards me leaning against the door frame “all of your clothes in that closet and you still choose to wear mine, but to answer your question you seem off” he says softening his tone.

“i’m fucking fine matt, damn, all on my ass for nothing” i groan out pushing him out of my way and falling on the bed scrolling on my phone.

“umm okay” he huffs sitting down next to me on the bed “so how was work?” he says breaking the silence of tiktok playing in the background.

i groan “it was long i guess” i place my phone on the bedside table and turn towards him.

“you guess?” he questions giving me a soft smile.

“find it was so dreadful, answering calls from people who can look up these answers on google, and oh my god i had this karen come in and” i laugh softly “and she literally accidentally tried this hair mask and fried half her hair and blamed it on me, knowing i’m just the front desk representative, then on top of all of that this lady yelled at me for eating carrots at the front desk” i say while he’s staring at me passionately listening to everything i have to say.

“did you say anything to that lady who yelled at you?” he asked while looking in my eyes as passionately as he can.

“my manager heard her yelling at me calling me ‘unprofessional and rude’ and ended up almost calling the cops on her for causing a disturbance” i smile back at him.

“well it sounds like to me you need a little distraction from your long day at work eh?” he smirks leaning into me as i playfully roll my eyes and lean into him crashing his lips onto mine smiling into his kiss.

he softly places his hand on my cheek pointing his tongue out a little begging to explore my mouth, i slightly open my mouth as his tongue dives into my mouth immediately taking dominance from my tongue and intertwining with mine. his hand travels from my cheek to my breast giving my bare breast a gentle squeeze causing a soft whimper to escape my lips. his hand travels down to my waist and toying with the waistband of my his sweatpants.

“can i?” matt pulls away and softly asks me.

i smile and playfully roll my eyes “yes matt you can”

he carefully crawls on top of me tapping my waist as a signal to lift my hips up. he pulls my pink lacy underwear and pants down together in one throwing them on the other side of the room.

“such a pretty pussy” he says softly running his slim fingers in between my wet folds collecting my arousal onto his fingers “and so wet” he smirks back up at me.

“matt” i drag his name out in a whine, “please don’t tease me” i stare desperately into his eyes through my eyelashes.

“Only because you asked so nicely my love” he smiles at me leaning down and starts placing mouth kisses directly into my clit flicking upwards with his tongue.

“Oh fuck Matt” I moan out placing my hand on top of his head and pulling at his hair causing him to grunt through my pussy sending vibrations through me.

“You like this hm?” he smiles and shoves his fingers into my hole curving them slightly upward and making me go absolutely insane.

“Yes!” I chant repeatedly.

My walls tighten around his fingers and my clit spasms between his teeth. “Someone’s close eh?” he smirks leaning his head upwards while moving his fingers in and out while reaching my sensitive clit with his thumb making figure 8 movements around my bud.

“S-so close Matt” I cry out arching my back off the bed and rolling my eyes back.

“Uh-huh? You close?” he taunts smiling at me and immediately thrusts his fingers into me touching my G-spot so easily.

“YES- FUCK MATT” My hips twitched upwards “FUCK I'M GONNA CUM” I scream out bucking my hips up.

“Come on baby, cum for me” his voice softens looking down at me coming unglued from just his fingers with amusement in his eyes.

With just his words, the knot in my stomach broke and cum dripped down from me and onto his fingers.

He lightly tapped my leg “I ain't done with you just yet, sweetheart” he said smirking at me.

“Matt I don't know if I can take another one..” I said out of breath still coming down from my very intense orgasm.

“You know your safe word, Y/N,” he says ripping his shirt off. “And you never have to be afraid of using it, I'll stop immediately you know this.” he pulls his sweatpants and boxers off in one freeing his hard cock and slapping his stomach.

he crawls over me placing my legs on either side of his hips and slowly agonizing using his tip to slide through my wet folds teasing me.

“Matt,” i whine “please fuck me”

“Patience sweet girl, patience” he smiles at me slapping his cock on my clit and making me jerk upwards and squeal.

He slowly puts his tip into me then removes it and slowly enters it again and removes it before roughly bottoming out into me gripping the headboard for support making his knuckles white.

“Oh Matt” i moan out.

He rolls his hips deeper into me smirking down at me “You like this hm? God, you feel so fucking good wrapped around my cock, and taking it so fucking well” he groans out.

My legs wrap around his waist forcing his body to get deeper each time he pushes himself into me making my eyes roll back into my head causing me to see starts, My moans become hoarse from the strain on my voice.

“Aww has my gorgeous whore gone dumb? Can't talk? What happened to all that attitude you had earlier?” he grabs my chin between his thumb and index finger.

“Uh huh, uh huh” i bite my lower lip and nodding vigorously.

“Words or I stop” he thrusts his hips deeper into me and maintains his violent thrusts.

“YES MATT FUCK- RIGHT FUCKIN THERE” I finally answer him with a strain in my voice.

My response only made him thrust into me deeper and faster. My cervix spasms around his cock signaling how close i am making a long groan exit from his lips. “Hold it”

He rolls his hips and pounds his hips into mine “Matt” I drag out his name with a moan.

“Come on, you got it” he nods his head continuing to thrust and abuse my cervix.

“S-so f-fucking close” I whisper scream out.

“Cum” he buries his head into my neck moving his hips in a way that kisses my cervix making me release all over his cock creating a white ring around the base of his cock.

His thrusts become sloppier as he releases into me painting my once pink walls a nice white color and slowly pulling out watching a mixture of his cum and mine slowly fall from my hole.

He vaults to his bathroom quickly so no one catches a glimpse of him or me in our naked state to grabs a warm cloth and slowly runs it down my legs cleaning him and me up before lying next to me placing my head on his chest.

“I'm sorry for the attitude I had earlier, I just had a rough day and shouldn't have taken it out on you,” I say “Thank you for lighting my mood up” I smile facing the TV drawing small circles on his stomach.

“Hey don't worry about it, we all got bad days baby, I'm just glad you're good now, that's all that matters to me” he softly says running his fingers through my hair and massaging my scalp and falling fast asleep in Matts arms.

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A/N Pt 2: HEY LOVES!! Sorry I haven't been so active in trying to recover from being violently hungover for the last 2 days LMFAOO… I HOPE U GUYS ENJOY!! i promise ill be active more!!

#Spotify #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #the sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #sturniolo

[eldritch-araneae]

Ah why this keeps happening? No matter what fandom, it always ends liek this. First people interact with you a lot, talk to you, have fun with you, and they this suddenly stopped and people just dont see you unless you draw something (and even this might fail). Like why I suddenly stopped existing for everyone? Why people in the server stopped talking to me? Am I boring? Am I too much? And I too alien for everyone liking? And I cant ask for help or talk about it, or even if i try to say something people either ignore or completely misunderstand instead of asking for clarity...I just dont want to be alone! I wanna talk, I wanna interact! Like i have ideas, I post them, we can connect, but nothing happens.

[ganondoodle]

in all honesty, im feeling a bit burned out on totk, the more i think about it the more i dislike its story and lore, i dont know what to make of it it being so loved by everyone else makes me feel like theres something wrong about me :/ gonna try and take a step back from it all

#ganondoodles talks #i also feel kinda dumb #bc i feel like im both not reading as much into everything as smarter people can #but also am trying to look into it all too deep #like i know nintendy made the game with lots of love and care but i #i cant help but sometiems even feel outright insulted by some of the choices they made #like the continuity problems with botw #man i loved botw so much and i feel kinda stepped on for caring so much about it #is this whats it always like when a new thing for your hyperfixation releases? #its happened with multiple of my past interests... #if i wrote an more about it i just feel like im being hateful - which im not trying to be #i just feel like -fuck me for caring this much- #part of why i was hyped about totk was bc i thought theres gonna be lore and design stuff i can use for my fanworks #but honestly i feel like i dont want to use anything of it #i know usually when you feel like you are the only one feeling like that you are not #but still i feel like im the only one that thinks this game is so .... weirdly disconnected #...almost like spinoff dare i say #nothing fits together #..... i miss koga #everytime i met him i was filled with joy #:(

[falldogbombsthemoon]

Yall haha, my dad made it so I have wifi access for one hour a day. which I can use from like 14 to 21 german time. So once my mobile data is dead, I will not be active that much ig. So please dont think I'm abandoning yall.

#vent following #its fucking ridiculous. im not a fucking child. neither is my brother #no idea what my dad wants to achieve through that. “so you can relaxe more” yeah no. being on the internet is my fucking coping mechanism. #there is nothing about relaxation there. also he did that so we'll to go sleep earlier. if it really was about that. #he would need to force me to sleep. you cant just change my sleep schedule by that #anyway its fucking ridiculous as i was on a good way of getting to sleep more early but if imma do that now he will think like #“wow. im such a good dad. i fixed all the problems my child could possibly have.” which is absolutely not the case #yk. ive always fucking struggled with feeling like people cant trust me. #and him not trusting my abilities to be responsible for myself is not helping #and then boom. im feeling shitty but wait haha my coping mechanism is currently set offline. #and like also im in extra stress atm bc school is fucking with me #not only are like a bunch of tests on the way but my fucking anxiety in school is getting so bad. #i cant sit in that facility without feeling like imma have a panic attack any minute #i am in need of fucking professional mental help. and at least one diagnosis. i dont want to do shit to myself. #but in this house hold. emotions are not talked about. feelings are suppressed and mental health is an illusion #i NEED to see a fucking psychiatrist. but i dont feel like i can to my parents about that. and technically i could go without them knowing #but someone needs to educate them. and i mentally cant be that someone #and guess whos sitting in their room crying and writing about that rn. not studying for their tests tomorrow and the day after. #i bet if my parents wouldnt have done that shit with my wifi i would be studying rn #quinns daily yapping post #rather #quinns personal hell

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought. #i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper #thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times #like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks. #nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she #was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled #a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where #you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder? #but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what #then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student. #everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have #and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my #leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but #i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying #my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound #by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting #better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that #and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path. #one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do #what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it. #maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for. #unrelated

[shadowiie]

As an aro, it can be absolute hell trying to exist in fandom.

The amatonormativity of it all, where ship content garners far more attention than other forms of content, the constant stream of romantic art/fics, and how, even as I block most popular ship tags and break mutuals constantly just to escape it all, there's so little nonromantic content out there that I barely get to experience my fandom in the first place!

It's disheartening. Every day I feel like I'm shoved just a little further out of this space that was supposedly made for queer people like me to enjoy.

Fandom was not made for me.

#aromantic #amatonormativity #fandom criticism #romance repulsed #vent #i treasure my very small handful of people i can talk about character analysis in sonic with #but yea this is one of the reasons ive come to really appreciate canon sth #nothing has to be romantic! in fact Sonic shows clear discomfort when romance gets forced upon him!! #and theres such a great sense of adventure and excitement to the games that i cant help but feel all warm and fuzzy about #the characters are so fun to deep dive into.... sighh #just wish there was more fancontent that doesnt try to pair the characters up

[thediktatortot]

.

#I'm literally never going to own a home of my own #I'm going to live and die in the same house as my parents and I'm never going to have my own space to call my own #to make my own or to spread out and have my own space #People wonder why I don't feel like a fucking adult #and I can tell them plain as day that it's because I live at home with no job and all I do all day is draw read and look at fucking #fictional shit all day #sure I work on the property but so fucking what #I'm still just wasting away at home with no life no friends nothing to do #I dont want to volunteer anywhere because it's only hard labor shit and I cant physically do those things #and the only other volunteer shit around me is church stuff and I will NOT be helping any churches anywhere fucking ever for anyone #idk #I try to meet people and I have nothing to talk about #everyone else seems to be having their own lives with shit going on and multiple social circles and here I am unable to even string togethe #more than two sentences because it usually only takes that long to get to “so what do you do?” and I have to figure out a way to explain #that I'm living at home with no job no friends and no life in a way that doesn't look fucking pathetic as fuck #I'm not well educated so I just fall behind in most conversation #I can't contribute so whats the fucking point #The only people I have to talk to are my parents because what else am I gonna do? I can't keep complaining to you guys all the time #not like it's going to change anything #if anything it will just make people avoid me more for always being a fucking downer all the time #my parents vaguely get my frustration but they can't do anything #not like we have money or connections of any kind so there's no 'setting me up' with other people my age #honestly I just wish the fucking internet would go away #maybe then more people would get out of their houses and go outside and meet people #idk i'm just fucking done with everything #I'm so numb and so tired and so lonely and I don't know what it is I want because every time I meet someone knew it's like I can't get clos #I don't feel ready for a relationship but I also feel like I'm fucking wasting away alone by myself and I really crave closeness #but I'm also not a dating person #I'm not here to waste another 5 years to someone just fucking around #i want a life time relationship

[panspy]

hmmmmmm.................vent post under tags...... feel free to give advice or dont¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#i think this is an autism related thing #but i genuinely feel like i wasnt made right for the world we live in #like something is just missing from me that ive never seen ppl talk about #and i know this is going to sound entitled and privileged and i KNOW i know i promise and im so lucky i can even be thinking about this but #it feels weird to have the privilege to be scared #this is specifically in regards to working #like having a job. like going to work #i feel like im missing an extremely important part of my brain or my BEING that is capable ot going through the motions of participating #in society. i never felt that switch of wanting to get a job in high school to make money for myself and get that experience #i feel like there's something i MISSED where everyone took a class on how to apply and go to interviews and write resumes and not be scared #like i NEED to be walked through every SINGLE step because i dont know HOW #and i see my peers and the literal entire world around me participating in this atmosphere and i dont know where to start #im fucking twenty three years old and ive only ever been an intern and an assistant #not even a full year of working #i cant drive and i probably wont ever because thats a whole other can of worms #and that means i have to rely on other people to even get to wherever it was i needed to go #i feel like a fucking child because im missing this knowledge that everyone else seems to have #ive tried i really have but none of it seems simple and its all so much and there arent steps to follow #i mean there ARE but its like 1) look up job 2) apply 3) interview 4) yay you're employed #and im talking about each micro step inbetween #what am i missing #and then theres the fucking demand avoidance that slaps me across the face whenever my mom brings it up to me like i KNOW youre being #supportive and encouraging and its not your fault my brain turns off and decides im full of shame bc i cant CONFRONT ANYTHING #jesus christ #manf i know u can see this maybe dont bring it up to mom i can do that on my own maybe #i WANT to help i just want to help at my own pace but unfortunately the world isnt built around individual paces and nothing revolves #around me. i know this #i want to help my mom i want her to never be stressed about money and to retire and never work or help me pay my student loans but i #genuinely feel like theres a switch that never turned on in my head and im being left behind and i genuinely dont know how to. like be alive

[rivilu]

Hey hello can i be sad on main or will the heavens unleash 7 thousand ravenous hawks upon me

#river rambles #vent post #tw for basically everything bellow just saying it now #sorry the last 8 years of not a single reason to live are getting to me <3 #i hate being alive i hate being trans I hate being autistic and not able to work like a normal person #to provide my transition to myself instead of having to rely on parents that kiind of support me? (dad) or are straight up pulling - #the 'you're making MEEE SUICIDAL!' card (mom) #i hate not being able to talk to people like a normal person #it's not even just the autism anymore i feel like i've been the worst version of me for such a long time i dont even know where to start #dysphoria is so fucking bad and getting worse every single day and any semblance of trans positivity winds up feeling toxic #like even body neutrality feels like an insult. im at a point where i want to tear myself apart just when i'm sitting still #i hate being told to wait for things to happen #the dreaded 'it'll get better' #it hasnt #it's been EIGHT. FUCKING. YEARS #nothing helps. i've exhausted every option within reach. no words of encouragement help at all #literally the only OPTION is to wait. and i've had! ENOUGH OF IT! #I've dreaded pride every year because it feels more and more like i'm living a lie being there. im not PROUD of being trans. #All i feel about it is misery. All the time. I hate my body so fucking much i cant do a single thing i want to do #most of my early years after figuring out im trans i tried to just ignore it and focus on pride about my sexuality #since i couln't transition then anyway #but as time went on and i became an adult and there's still not a single glimpse of light on the horizon. I can't focus on it anymore #because you know. those things are interconnected. So now i just feel like an unlovable piece of shit! #Like i will never be what i was meant to be. what i want to look like. #and i dont even want to try for any manner of relationship before that . because even if anyone DID like the current version of me #that's not even me #birth is a curse and existence is a prison etcetera

[parallaxabomination]

my brain is so full of stress it might explode. but ill do my best to keep putting out my best and stay kind to myself and others. but man, is it hard

#i wish i had something for myself rn #but i come home so exhausted i cant even focus on art #everything has been burning me so thin #i keep talking down my own art now. i keep refunding clients. i honestly want to give up on everything #people tell me i do a good job but i dont see it. i dont see an artist whos worth anything right now. #i dont know if thats a phrase #i have a early morning shift tomorrow and i cant fall asleep #i want to just rest but im so restless #i dont want to put pressure on anyone besides myself bc i feel like a huge burden #if i do so #everyone else should be having a good time #so i feel like a bummer to take up their emotional space and time #i appreciate the kindness people have shown me recently #i know i work hard. but im still so broken over everything #i just havent felt like an artist since it happend #he left a bigger scar on my ego than i thought it would #and every time i voice it i feel someone is out to end me for it #but at the same time i feel completely unnoticed and unheard #i dont expect anyone to see me as me #i just feel this lump in my throat now. this weight on my hand #they say kind things but im so hurt inside i dont see it as truth right now. i dont see anything worth admiring #they say such sweet things and i want to accept them so bad because my heart needs it #but i cant help but feel the words die as they reach my ears. im just too hurt i cant see it #i cant see the truth in my work all i see is someone else's desire in their commission #as long as they are happy. as long as they are satisfied #thats all that matters #i dont feel important enough to be apart of the process anymore #i dont feel worthy as a person or artist #i just feel less than nothing and that no one will care

[tamagotchikgs]

been trying to figure out just how i am going to explain how wildly my brain has been altered since the last time i saw my therapist && it make me realize all of this has happened in 1 month,,,,,,,,,,, it feels like . eons. eternity . in the best way possible

#normally everything feels so short #my anxiety just speeds me through it before i can even take a second to enjoy or even experience anything. everything is a dusty blur #but ive been ok #i've actually had good times ive mayb even started 2 feel close to a person for the first time in my life #feel safe w them #anxiety cant get me when im in their shield bubble #listening 2 em talk n even just Exist like woag ur the best thing in this whole world #just bbzbzbzbzbbzz #of course there r also the Horrors that do come w it just due 2 my avpd but . it still feels so different #and i like to ignore those because they make me feel like a monster i am not jealous noo i am so normal i am very normal #i am beating my jealousy side with a stick and i Will win #i have never and Will never act on it #if i ignore it they cant b real #also i do know it's illogical whihc helps #honestly though im used 2 it because ill get jealous if like . a stranger is nice to me and then is nice to some1 else. like oh. oh it was #all a rouse u want me dead u hate me #and it's like. homie. pal. that is normal. they're not abandoning u theyre not trying to set u up for humiliation #theyre just living their life #it's kinda weird tho because i will get feelings like that simultaneously with knowing i am Nothing i am a Horrid beast no one deserves to #even have to see #and knwoing i am not allowed to care about people and there is no shot in hell they will be even nice to me #so it;s just . a lot of things swirling constant;ly #painful emotions all around there is no joy #(except for rn. with them. i can b free from my brain)

[aropride]

what to talk about in therapy today ... 🤔

#text #neg #i know i should talk about The Trauma but like #i dont know . its just #euck . i dont want anyone to know What Happened except for people who Absolutely Have To #which is like. title 9 guy + the investigator.and thats it #but i also like . dont want to talk about how i Feel bc its the same shit over and over what if talking abt it doesnt help #and i know how itll go ill talk abt it and we'll talk abt coping mechanisms and then the conversation is over and i think this therapy isnt #right for me. which sucks. and i dont want to deal with that right now or ever #And like can i even get better without talking about it. can i even get better at all #like how do i when i have so much older shit to work thru too. its all tied together i cant just heal one part of it i dont think really #and its also like. nothing has really Happened with The Situation this week its just been me getting really scared and really sad #over and over. so i dont have an update or anything for him i just have. yknow. I Feel Sad And Scared And It Wont Stop #and we can talk about coping mechanisms but it wont help bc ill use them in the moment but that just gets me thru the moment #it doesnt get me thru Everything. it doesnt fix the problem #and its also like What does.what does fix the problem #or do i just live like this forever

[bojackhorsemanobviously]

):

#there's all this talk in the show about the power he had over people but none about the women who had power over him #note im not saying that it excuses his shit either im just saying the eshow never really holds the women accountable #as a woman that annoys me #esp as one with a mom who has often made me feel worthless #i also found the writers to get way too insecure in s5 about how people viewed their main character that they felt the need to double down #give mc a sympathic backstory and will feel bad for him what were they expecting? #heck i felt kinda bad for beatrice and i dont hate her but her dad sucked you cant help but pity her esp as an old lady #angela diaz #scary women #she was so damn convincing #for a show about accountabiity its justall on one mans shoulder and it just doesnt feel like it was that fair shrugs #dont believe me? #ana his publist sexually assaults BJ #this is ignored and brushed off as if it never happened #beatrice his biggest abuser next to his father is given the sad old lady treatment that he acutally ends up being kind too #diane fucks pb who is with pickles and is mostly absolved of any wrong doing on her end #pc agrees to work with vance gets bj to a doc that gives him the opiums and does nothing to stop him from hurting gina #angela is gay the whole time and still fires herb then berates and offers a man who is mentally unstable more alchhol #it also felt tacked on in ep 10 of s5 to me like it came of super insecure #oh he def did shitty sshit that is unforgiveable but it felt like they were just throwing a bunc of random x//a/s to double down

[taikk0]

JUST SAYING ONCE I LEARN TO PRONOUNCE MY T'S PROPERLY ITS OVER FOR YOU BUTTNUGGETS

#IVE ALWAYS PRONOUNCED T'S WITH MY TONGUE AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FIX IT ITS BEEN THAT WAY FOR SO LONG #BUT ONE DAY. I WILL PRONOUNCE MY T'S SO GOOD YOULL THINK IM A WHITE PERSON #WHAT SUCKS TOO IS THAT IM BILINGUAL WHILE ENGLISH IS MY FIRST LANGUAGE I SPEAK TAGALOG MOST OF THE TIME BECAUSE OF MY ENVIRONMENT SO I- #-HAVE NO PROPER WAY OF PRACTICING IT BC FILIPINOS PRONOUNCE T'S DIFFERENTLY BC OF THE LANGUAGE AND UNLESS IM IN AN ENGLISH SPEAKING- #-SETTING THERES NO WAY IM GONNA BE ABLE TO PRACTICE CONSISTENTLY 💔💔 #even worse i slur over my words all the time. i have a stutter. i have VERY frequent voice cracks and when i try to suppress them i sound- #-ver odd. PLUS ADHD #idk if adhd might be one of the causes or of it gets added to the pile but dude i actually need help 💀💀 #but another problem is i dont think anyone would see the point in it #i communicate just fine its just that i have so much trouble communicating verbally (vocally?) in a way that isnt unnatural and in a way- #-that properly articulates what i want to say and how i say it. often i have so much trouble showing varied emotion to prove a point when- #-im referring or talking about something that isnt reactionary #LIKE DUDE WHY IS TALKING SO HARD 💔ALL PEOPLE CAN TALK WHY DO I HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH ALL PF THIS THIS SUCKS #which might be why i prefer writing what i want to say bc unlike talking the way i speak has nothing to do with it. i get given time to- #-think. and with an adhd brain writing what you want to say is so much better because typing it out involves the conscious decision to- #-type it all out and it acts as a filter #BLEFGGGH SORRY I KEEP BLABBERING ON THIS WSS SUPPPSED TO BE A SILLY LITTLE POST IDK WHY I WENT HAM IN THE TAGS #anyways umm yeah i dont like talking. i like communicating and maybe socializing tho. but not talking. does that make sense??? #there r also times where i straightup cant speak at all. i want to speak and i want to say things but my brain feels too busy or ig blank- #-but not empty and i cant form words or sentences and all i have are thoughts and feelings #anyways i think asl is neat and i want to learn it not just for my benefit but also for accessibility #also filipino sign language if im up for it #man there is something wrong w my brain 💀 #mikyomix rambles #yeah this one was a true ramble but only in the tags

[storm-of-feathers]

i wish more people understood the concept of activism burnout and compassion fatigue. you do like genuinely have to pick your battles, and that usually means something local that you can make a real difference with. if you get overwhelmed with every problem nothing is going to change.

#i have friends in organizations similar to DWB and the like. and when there are disasters they are sent overseas to go help. #whereas my focus remains here because i cant handle more disaster relief tbh and thats. thats okay. #i still take part in programs for queer rights in local politics and providing aid to those without permanent residence #i get that like. its frustrating to hear people not talking ab whatever Your thing is #but they also have Their things #absolutely fucking no one on this website has ever spoken about the rising houseless and opioid problems in new hampshire. but i still help #headspace hotel is right. if you hear about every disaster and think you have a personal responsibility to do something for all of them. #youre going to lose hope so so so fast bc it feels like the world is unfixable #but its not. its just only fixed a little bit at a time. on a very individual level. #everyone talks ab activism and caring but theyd make more change by googling ''charities in my area'' #unrebloggable for now bc im mostly just venting tbh #fortunately this is pretty much only an issue online so i know when i do my next thing itll feel like the world is okay again. #until then this is a worrying rise and im really worried that younger people will think activism is useless #or worse that if you see someone not talking ab a specific issue youll assume they dont care at all #when theres just nothing they can do.

[caffeinatedopossum]

I keep crying really easily

#just now started crying reading a post on reddit from someone who was talking about the possibility #of reincarnation and i thought about how awful it would be if i killed myself only to get reincarnated and never be able to know my gf #honestly being apart from her is the only reason i fear there being no after life at all #before i met her i thought nothing sounded nice #now i cant stand the thought of not being with her. i guess i didnt care if it was nothing because i always had nothing #but now shes everything #i feel so bad for still being suicidal when i know i have her #i could never leave her here alone... i know that #and yet i still feel like this #im so lucky... so why cant i be grateful #i think i am grateful and its just not enough. everywhere i look it seems no one has enough #it hurts so much. i hate the world for being like this #i hate the people in this world that make it so #i dont know if it would be better to live out of spite and try to help or to give up and leave this world hoping it works out anyways #i dont know how much i can ever do here. especially the way i am now #im too sick to help anybody. im so tired of being like this