#nothing changes and i want it to change but i don't have the willpower nor the mental capacity to change

[bruhstories]

blind

summary: after four years of being ignored and abused, y/n decides to teach aegon a lesson OR how aegon actually becomes king

pairing: aegon targaryen x lannister!reader (aged up, ofc)

warning & content: canon divergent, aegon is a piece of shit, unprotected p in v, fingering, oral sex (male receiving), bit of degradation (if you squint), a lot of manipulation, fem bodied reader

wc: ~4.5k

a/n: i have no words for this. i am a slut and i embrace it. not edited because we die like men

Every time Aegon took another of Y/N's maids to bed, a part of the her heart crumbled to dust. He was simply not interested in her, despite once being good friends. And it wasn't as if she could play the same game, no. Y/N had to patiently wait for her husband to drunkenly stumble back into his chamber, falling onto the bed into a deep slumber until his mother would wake him up with a slap and a string of insults.

Y/N could not possibly fool around with other men without the realm finding out. She could not run away to Essos, nor could she change Aegon. He was far too irredeemable.

Alicent, however, was great with her. She made sure to treat Y/N with respect, to listen to her complaints. No matter how loving and caring Y/N tried to be, Aegon did not want her, which was a problem, because she hadn't given him an heir in four years. After their wedding, Aegon was too intoxicated to perform in bed, barely taking her maidenhead before passing out, leaving Y/N awake and distraught at what her life had become.

Whenever her husband was away, she would spend her time either reading in the Red Keep's library, or listening to Helaena's strange, yet intriguing dreams, or stroll through the gardens. Y/N liked Helaena. She was soft and sweet, and loved by everyone in King's Landing, despite her awkwardness and timidity. Y/N tried to be like her, to be kind and gentle, but her Lannister nature unfortunately made her vain and selfish, and it was taking a lot of willpower to mask it.

So, she decided to be exactly that — vain and selfish.

On Aegon's twentieth name day, a tourney was held, with knights from all around Westeros entertaining King Viserys' first-born son. Although Aegon himself wasn't much of a fighter, he enjoyed watching the men compete, and eventually fight each other to the death. And if the wine in his cup was sweet, and the maidens pretty, he could not ask for more.

"Where is your lady wife?" Otto scoffed at Aegon's disinterest in Y/N and interest in the wine he had accidentally spilled.

"How should I know? Shit, this was good wine!" The Targaryen smacked his lips in annoyance, only to feel his grandfather's hand tightly around his shoulder.

"Don't make me slap you in front of everyone, boy. You should be grateful Y/N married you. Who else would want a miserable, pathetic excuse of a man such as yourself?" Otto's words were harsh and they cut deep, but Aegon stopped caring a long time ago.

"You find her, then. In fact, I am thrilled she didn't come. She would embarrass me, sitting down, looking like a septa." The Targaryen scoffed, releasing his shoulder from Otto's grip, focusing on his tourney.

Alicent watched the scene between her father and her son unfold, and after exchanging looks with Otto, she knew exactly what was going on. Nothing she could do would change Aegon. She got up, straightening her green dress, and as she turned on her heels, she was faced with Y/N.

"My lady." She bowed in front of her mother-in-law. "My apologies for being late. I couldn't find something appropriate to wear for such an important day."

"Nonsense, you are beautiful wearing anything." Alicent complimented her.

"As are you." Y/N smiled before making her way to the empty seat next to Aegon.

She offered him no words, no curtsy, no smiles, instead giving her favour to Ser Criston Cole. It was then when Aegon noticed the corset around her waist was tight, and her dress was red and gold, the colours of her house. For a moment he thought he maybe drank too much, for he rarely saw Y/N wearing something so bright and bold, and when she sat down, he could see how low the cut of her cleavage was.

"How long have you been hiding those tits from me?" Aegon whispered in her ear, his breath reeking of wine.

"They were always there, you just did not bother to look, lord husband." Y/N beamed and waved at Ser Criston, but her voice lacked the warmth of her smile.

He leaned back in his chair, rolling his eyes at her response. Only because she had decided to wear a tighter dress did not mean she was good enough for someone like him. Not that the servants or the whores he slept with were, but they were easy. They would never say no, they would not complain, and they would most certainly not talk back in such a disrespectful manner.

Indeed, it was Aegon's fault for not paying his wife more attention. To give her credit, she tried her best to show him affection, to care for him when he was too drunk to even stand, and to even defend him in front of his family. But Aegon never took the time to appreciate all of that because, like his grandfather put it, he was a pathetic excuse of a man.

When the tourney ended and he stumbled into his chamber, Aegon couldn't find his wife. Normally she would be there, waiting for him, helping him undress, despite him calling her all sorts of names in his drunken state. But that night, she wasn't there. His mind went blamk and he fell asleep, half-dressed, with stains of wine all over his chin, and his hair a knotted mess.

And when he woke up, she still wasn't there.

Aegon's head was hurting, regretting the decision of drinking so much the other day, and he lazily and clumsily managed to get dressed in clean clothes. When he looked in the mirror, he was disgusted by his own reflection for the first time in four years. Every night, every single night since he had been married, Y/N washed him and brushed his hair before bed, and without her he looked like an imbecile. Perhaps his grandfather was right — who else would willingly marry him when he couldn't even dress himself?

The Red Keep was particularly cold that morning —or perhaps it was him who was cold — and Aegon made his way down the stairs towards the kitchens, only to be stopped by the sound of laughter. He turned on his heels, taking a left instead of a right, and followed the melodious voice that seemed vaguely familiar. The Targaryen found himself in front of the dining hall, and the guards stepped beside the doors to allow Aegon to enter. Confused, he stared at the people gathered around the table — his siblings, his mother, his grandfather, and his wife.

"Finally!" Alicent waved at the maids to bring more food and mead.

"Uh, what is happening?" His ears were ringing, his temples burning. Aegon sat down next to his wife, and again, she was not dressed in her usual garments, but a pale green dress, with golden earrings and rings. She rarely wore rings, he thought.

"Your lady wife had the beautiful idea of breaking fast together this morning." Otto poked the sausage on his plate with a silver fork.

"Has she now? And where was my lady wife last night?" Aegon's eyes darted towards Y/N, watching her gingerly cut a piece of meat.

"In my chambers." She simply answered before chewing her food.

"Since when do you sleep in your fucking chambers?"

"Aegon!" Alicent slammed her cutlery on the table.

"Since last night." Came her response, bored and indifferent.

"To see, you must close your eyes." Helaena whispered. "To win, you must lose."

"Aemond, tell your wife to stop talking in riddles. My head is aching." Aegon devoured a piece of bread, helping it slide down with mead.

"Or, you could go back to your chambers." Aemond suggested, holding his Helaena's hand in his.

Aegon shrugged, already tired of everyone around him. He silently ate his food, considering his brother's idea of going back to bed, until his eyes landed on one of the maids, and her figure. He closed his eyes, imagining what she looked like under the dress, but all he could see was the silhouette of his wife. The Targaryen shook his head — clearly he had drank too much at the tourney, and the mead did not help.

"Y/N, thank you for the wonderful idea of eating together." Alicent got up. "If you will excuse me, I shall go see the King. But we must do this more often!"

"And next time tell me so I don't come." Aegon snorted, proud of his harsh words. He watched his wife get up, and instinctively, he wanted to ask her where she was going, however he resorted to sneering at her.

"Why do you think I haven't told you this time?" Y/N smiled before excusing herself, and even Aemond chuckled at how she barked back at her husband.

Aegon waited for the doors to close behind his wife before slamming his fist onto the table, startling Helaena. Not even the gods could understand how much hatred he held for her.

"What is her problem?" He asked, expecting his grandfather and his brother to side with him.

"You are her problem, you buffoon." Aemond got up, offering his hand to his wife. "Come."

Aegon watched how his sister looked at Aemond with so much love in her eyes, and how his brother gently held Helaena's hand every time they were together, despite how aloof Aemond normally was. Was that what Y/N wanted? To have him hold her in his arms? To whisper sweet nothings in her ear? How could he do that when now she stopped sharing his chamber? Of course it was her own fault for the treatment she received.

Weeks went by after the tourney, days spent drowning in wine and ale, but something changed — Aegon's cock wasn't buried in some whore's cunt. He tried. By the gods, he went to brothels as often as he could, but the women there just did not appease him anymore. If he closed his eyes, he would see his wife, and if he held them open, he would think of his wife.

Aegon hadn't seen her in days, and when he did, she would be busy — sewing, reading, sleeping, riding horses, taking baths, anything to keep him at away. He finally understood what it meant to be wed to a Lannister, because every time he would ask Y/N what she wanted from him, she would reply with incredulous requests — the finest Myrish laces, the sweetest wine from Pentos, the greenest emeralds from Lys. Aegon truly believed her, and complied, only to find out Y/N requested such gifts to spite him, to give him a taste of his own medicine — because if she wasn't good enough for him, then he wasn't going to be good enough for her.

It drove him mad that she wasn't there to take care of him anymore, that he had to rely on maids who did not know what he needed. Y/N knew exactly which clothes to pick for him, how hot he liked his bathwater, which foods he ate after drinking too much. Without her, he was incomplete and incompetent.

Was that what Helaena meant when she said to win, he must lose? Had he lost his wife? Aegon did not truly know happiness, not since his mother and grandfather filled his head with ideas that he was a threat to Princess Rhaenyra, that he should've been named Viserys' heir to the throne. He did not want the crown, he had no desire to be king, and perhaps he would've loved his wife if there wasn't so much pressure and weight on his shoulders.

There were moments when Aegon wished he could trade places with Aemond. His younger brother was by far better suited to rule, but he had the misfortune of being born first. If only he was the second son, things would've been different.

Aegon was sat on his bed, toying with the blade of his sword. He didn't deserve Blackfyre, didn't deserve to be named after Aegon the Conqueror, and he didn't deserve his wife.

His wife.

Lately she was all he would be thinking about. How she scrunched her nose whenever she saw him, and roll her eyes when he said something ridiculously stupid, how beautiful she looked on his name day, and how she would tuck her hair behind her ear when reading under the weirwood tree.

It took him four years to realise this, but Aegon was undoubtedly and irrevocably in love with his wife.

The Prince jumped out of his bed, opened the tall, wooden doors of his chamber, and ordered his servants to fetch his wife. He needed to see her to confirm his feelings, and while he waited, he paced up and down his room, like a pup, eager to see its master.

When the door creaked, his heart jumped out of his chest, watching his wife walk inside. She had a stern look on her face, but she was beautiful nonetheless.

"You wished to see me, lord husband?" Y/N straightened her silk robe.

"Do you love me?" His question was as sharp as his blade, and it cut right through her facade.

"I am wed to you." She answered, avoiding a clear yes or no.

"A political marriage, we both know that. What I am asking is if you love me or not." Aegon closed the gap between them, his hands holding her by the shoulders.

"I..." Y/N trailed off, eyes avoiding his gaze. "Used to."

He let her go, his hands falling down to his sides. Not the answer he was hoping for, but she wasn't done talking.

"I've known you since we were children, Aegon. I married you out of love, not politics." She bit into her lower lip, bringing her arms across her chest.

"Then what changed?" His tone was desperate.

"You cannot be serious. What changed? You mistreated me, disrespected me, insulted me! I did not stand by your side for four years out of duty, husband, but because I hoped and prayed you would change!" Y/N shook her head. "I washed you, dressed you, fed you, yet you never once said thank you. I am not your servant, Aegon, I am your wife."

"You are right." He agreed, his head hanging low and humble. "You are right, you are my wife. I cannot change the past, Y/N, so tell me what I can do to fix this."

She pondered with her index finger pressed on her lips before lifting Aegon's chin up.

"Make me your queen."

Her voice was as sweet as honey, her fingers ghosting over his collarbone.

"I don't want to be king." Aegon was tired of repeating that sentence so many times.

"But you want to be loved. Not just by me, but by the people." The words were seductive, and so was his wife. With each sentence, she slid the robe past her shoulders. "You want them to chant your name. You want them to bow down to you." She kissed his hand. "You want them to swear loyalty to you, my king."

"Careful, your words mean treason." His fingers trailed down her arm, gripping her wrist and bringing her hand to his bulge, urging her to palm his cock.

"Will you have me imprisoned? Bound and gagged?" Y/N licked her lips, the idea exciting her. "I am loyal to no one but you."

"Shit." Aegon threw his head back, enjoying the way she touched him. Not even the whores could be so enchanting. Clearly, he had been a fool all these years. "You really want me to be king? Or are you following your own ambitions?"

"A little bit of both." She allowed her nightgown to pool at her feet, exposing herself to her husband. "Right now, however, I want you to fuck me, Aegon."

"You really are something else." A smirk crept on his lips, his fingers pinching her nipples. The whimper that escape her lips made a shiver run down Aegon's spine, only arousing him more.

Whores pushed their luck and maids were terrified of him, but Y/N was exquisite. He allowed her to be in control when she dragged him towards the bed, pushing him onto the soft sheets. Aegon hastily removed his clothes, but not before burying his face between her tits.

"Fuck, Aegon-" Her breath hitched when his hand snaked between her thighs, fingers slipping past her folds.

"So wet." He mumbled into her skin. "You want my cock?"

"Gods, yes!" She whined when he removed his fingers.

"Show me, then. Show me how much you want it, how much you want me."

Y/N fell down her knees, her tongue poking out her hungry mouth. She had heard Aegon talk in his sleep about how he wanted his cock sucked, and she couldn't deny her own morbid curiosity. Hesitant yet inquisitive, she dragged her tongue up his shaft, tasting the salty droplets of leaking precum.

"Don't be shy." He groaned whenever he felt her hot lips on his cock. "Suck."

She did not need to be told twice, eagerly opening her mouth and taking in as much as she could. Aegon was big. Not that she had seen many cocks before, but she couldn't imagine they were all so thick, and she struggled to breathe when she could feel the tip in the back of her throat. The sudden feeling of asphyxiation brought tears to her eyes, but in a sick twist, it also brought her pleasure.

"You want to be a queen but you're really just a whore." Aegon's words were perverse, and they should have made her feel disgusted, yet they had the opposite effect on her. The kind of effect that left her skin dotted with goosebumps, and her cunt aching.

Y/N couldn't answer back, not when her mouth was full of him — and she did not want to answer, anyway. It took Aegon four years to finally see her sacrifices to, and her love for him. She couldn't possibly spoil that moment. It did not help that the more she sucked, the more she enjoyed it, and Aegon knew that very well from the way she moaned and rolled her eyes back.

That was just a taste of what she could give him, and a part of Aegon regretted not having that conversation earlier in his marriage, had he known it would end with his cock down his wife's throat. Y/N pulled back in desperate need for air, wondering if this is what her husband was doing on the Street of Silk every night he was away, but she did not have enough time to give herself an answer.

"Come here." Aegon offered Y/N his hand, and reluctantly, she took it, helping herself stand. Never has he been so gentle to her, but his kindness soon came to an end when the Prince slammed his wife onto his bed. Her reaction wasn't to scream, or protest, but to pull Aegon closer to her, his body hovering over hers.

"My lord husband," She whispered, her lips ghosting over his, "I know you do not wish this responsibility, but the burden is not just yours to bear. You did not marry me as your equal, but I equally and willingly share your duty. You are not alone."

"I know." Aegon's hand found its way between her legs again, his thumb rubbing circles against her sensitive bud. He never took pleasure in pleasing women, but something snapped inside the Prince. His wife was not just any woman, but his future queen. "I know, and I was blinded by my own thoughts. But not anymore." He kissed her neck, dragging his tongue down her skin, between her tits.

"Aegon..." She mewled, fingers raking through his silver locks. "Aegon, please..."

"What is it, my queen?" He sneered against her skin, unwilling to give her what she desired just yet.

"Don't make me beg." Her back arched when she felt two of his fingers slip past her folds yet again. "I already t-told you what I want."

"Say it again." The Prince demanded, and whatever Aegon wants, he gets.

"Shit-" Y/N squeezed her eyes shut, praying to the Seven Gods that the guards couldn't hear the wicked words that would come out of her and Aegon's mouths. "Want you, m-my king! N-need you... I've always needed y-you!" Her voice went up an octave, cracking and breaking like the most fragile stained glass in all of Westeros.

"Fuck." Aegon whispered, his hot breath tickling her skin. "Do you really love me?"

"I do! I do, I do, I do!" She cried out the more his fingers toyed with her needy cunt. He removed them when he felt her spongy walls tighten, and when she gasped, Aegon did the unthinkable. "Taste yourself  then, if you love me." His fingertips smeared her slick all over her lips, and without hesitation, she sucked his fingers clean.

Her eagerness to please left the Prince in awe, because never has a woman so willingly allow herself to be degraded by him. All the humiliation he instilled in maids was by force, and whores did unspeakable acts for a coin. He would know that all too well. Y/N looked up at Aegon with doe eyes, seemingly innocent, but the way she squeezed her thighs together for much needed friction betrayed her.

"Do not worry, my lady wife." He cooed at her, his soft voice in complete contrast to the predatory gaze in his eyes. "I am a merciful king, I shall grant you what you so desperately desire." Aegon's much broader frame hovered over hers. "Open."

Y/N complied hastily, obediently spreading her legs for her king, lacking any shred of dignity. She had been shy on her wedding night, pulling the bed sheets over her body trying to cover herself, but not anymore. Aegon pushed his cock between her folds painstakingly slowly, as if to test the waters. Although he took her maidenhead four years ago, he hadn't laid with her since. And it did hurt, for a short while — the pain turned into discomfort, and discomfort into pleasure.

"Harder, faster! Please!" She squirmed under him, hands roaming all over his back and arms, fingernails digging into his skin. Aegon wasn't the kind of man who took orders from others, everyone in the realm knew that, but he gladly took that order, thrusting into her with ferocity and anger. Anger, because he had been so blind for so long.

"Whore." He mumbled, still trying to blame his wife for his own demons. His silver locks fell over his face, and she pushed them out of the way to gaze into his violet eyes. "My whore." Aegon kissed her, teeth sinking into her lower lip. "Say it. Say you're mine."

"Oh, gods!" Y/N arched her back before wrapping her legs around his waist. "I'm yours, Aegon! Your whore, your wife, your queen!" She pulled him closer, until she could feel his chest pressing onto hers.

His frantic thrusts became quicker, harsher, until all his vision blurred from the bliss. She was close, he knew that from the way her walls clenched around his cock and how she gripped the white sheets, chanting his name like a prayer. His grunts were louder, and so were her moans, until the room fell silent, his seed filling her up. They stayed like that for some time, his heavy body collapsed onto hers, the silence interrupted only by his chuckles.

"What?" She was intrigued by his juvenile laughter, her fingers twirling his hair.

"Nothing." Aegon kissed her chin, burying his nose in the crook of her neck.

"Must I ignore you for a moon before you talk to me?" A smile crept on her lips.

"Heavens, no!" His body tensed under her touch as he propped himself on his elbow to look at her, his other hand resting on the plush of her hips. "I was just thinking about how bitter the wine tasted when you weren't there for me. So bitter I could not bring myself to drink it today."

"Aegon..." Y/N sighed, almost feeling sorry for her husband, however, he deserved it. He deserved to feel what she had felt, to understand how dark and sorrowful her days had been.

"I will be king, and all of Westeros will bend the knee to me, to us." He laid his head on her chest, the sound of her beating heart loud against his ear. "Just... love me." Aegon's embrace was needy, searching for her approval, her acceptance, as he fell asleep. He couldn't see the lack of emotion on her face, the indifference in her eyes when she professed her love to him right before his eyes closed, chest rising and falling.

She knew all too well Aegon was still Aegon, and that he would perhaps still fuck up every once in a while, infuriating his mother and grandfather, even after taking the crown. But all of that did not matter.

There was a reason she agreed to wed him, and it was not love. It never has been.

"The Lannisters send their regards."

#aegon targaryen #king aegon #aegon the second #aegon the usurper #prince aegon #aegon targaryen x reader #aegon targaryen x you #aegon targaryen x y/n #aegon targaryen smut #house of the dragon #house of the dragon spoilers #hotd #hotd smut #hotd fanfic #house of the dragon smut #game of thrones #got smut #got fanfic

[animehouse-moe]

Jujutsu Kaisen Season 2 Episode 9: Shibuya Incident 4

What a letdown. No two ways about it. A handful of good cuts here and there, and overall solid animation, but how good can that be without execution, without direction or purpose? And the fact that there's animation certainly does not make up for the parts where there is none. I hardly even want to talk about this episode, but I think there are some key differences to go over regardless.

So, we start the episode off in good fashion, adapting the end of chapter 88. At the start, I liked it. I thought the silly 4:3 low quality style was pointless considering the era/year, but that's whatever because they add to Gege's sentiment by extending the detail around the characters as they talk about Gojo.

However, and this is a big however, Gosso (yes, Gosso boarded this episode) whiffs on the completion of it. Gojo is nowhere to be seen. The entire point of the dialogue is to show Gojo's loneliness at the top, that no matter what else people will say about him he will always remain the strongest, an existent out of reach for everyone else. That's the entire point, and what happens instead? We just get another shot of Yuuji.

It's painful to see the entire purpose of the interaction removed.

It doesn't really get any better either. The misfire that was the previous episode? It was boarded by today's episode director. So you get things like borderline excessive panning, and rotation without reason. Honestly, it feels like the rotation is simply used as a different transitional effect because there's so many in the episode.

And just while we're at this point, anime Gojo doesn't even come close to manga Gojo in this sequence. The anime just can't pin down his animosity. He's not insane, he might be a little feral, but he's certainly not the awkward and almost slow depiction that the anime gives. They bounce him back and forth between "faster than the speed of sound" and standing still for 30 seconds, and it does not do well for his character. Nor does the nonexistent choreography.

It's.... painfully bad. The parts that do well are the parts carried by individual animators, but those cuts fall into one of two areas.

The first: dimming and ghosting hell

The second: 2 second cuts

Seriously, this piece of Gojo going after Hanami after they use their technique looks great, but you see it for a total of.... 2.71 seconds. Then it's right back to being so close up you can only see individual body parts moving.

It's just like, why even really bother, almost. The few good cuts get ruined with ghosting, the leftover ones are a fraction of a second, and everything else is just not good.

They "skip" over Hanami's death. They take 10 seconds to get to the actual part, and then black out the screen so that they don't have to animate it. What's the point.

What's the point in not remaining consistent with Choso's attacks. Why does this one sequence alone just freeze in the air.

What's the point in this clip of the transfigured humans mowing down the people trapped in the station? It holds the same angle for so long, and does literally nothing.

There is just so much wastefulness, so much pointlessness to what is going on with this episode. While there's probably more "good" level cuts in this episode, the fact that it's still so similar in overall quality to the prior feels impossibly depressing.

But don't worry! Gosso and Mappa will draw out original scenes and make sure that they look good, you can certainly count on them for that.

And that's really where I end it. There's other small changes and whatnot, but at the end of it, this episode is borderline a disgrace to one of Gojo's craziest "I'm him" moments and the Geto reveal. I just don't have the willpower to go much deeper than to say, it's bad.

#jujutsu kaisen #呪術廻戦 #jjk #sorcery fight #gojo satoru #geto suguru #anime review #anime and manga #anime #yuji itadori #yuji #fushiguro megumi #megumi fushiguro #nobara kugisaki #nanami kento #kento nanami #maki zenin #naobito zenin #shibuya #shibuya arc #jjk shibuya arc #jjk season 2 #mei mei #mahito

[iceunhie]

NOT A CHANCE | WANDERER

premise ⁠☆ wanderer flusters you using his newfound popularity.

a/n⁠ ☆ this scenario has been in my mind ever since his birthday i can't believe scara is canonically a popular kid 😭 trying to get better at dialogue ! thank u vie @thomae for helping me choose which format i'd go for the fic ily /p reblogs are very much appreciated :D

“Another letter again?”

You stare at the pink colored letter in the Wanderer’s hands, signed passionately in elegant scrawl that makes you rather pity the sender, knowing that it'll likely never get read nor acknowledged.

He gives you a wry smirk, eyes haughty. “Why, are you jealous?”

“Don't flatter yourself.” you say without hesitation. “Aren’t I the one you're currently seeking out?”

As if to prove your point, you lift up your evidence: your intertwined hands. He makes no argument, making no move to remove his own from yours, grip unfaltering, but you see the faint red hue on crawling up his ears.

Really, he couldn't be any more obvious. After all, he was the one who dragged you here, grumbling about those noisy idiots. He’d be adorable if not for his constant petulance - not that you hate it; this is a side only you get to see, and you're sure as hell you aren't going to let anyone else try to see this sight of the Wanderer being so childish and clingy.

Recently, the Wanderer's been getting attention his way by many of the scholars in the Vahumana Darshan. Though he was already marked as someone aloof and eccentric, and most dared not approach him, no one could really keep away from him, not when he had the looks that could rival even the most breathtaking of faces.

His otherworldly beauty, in particular, was subject to much admiration, hence the letter he’s currently fiddling around with like it was nothing special.

You could probably get rich by the amount of fan mail your lover gets; sometimes it'd be a verbal confession, spoken passionately by a blushing young maiden (?) in love, only to be rejected with a cutthroat no from him. Oftentimes it's gifts of much variety - charcoal-baked alijenakh cakes, cookies, and once, an Inazuman scholar even tried their hand at giving him some dango, no doubt noting his clothing and therefore wanting to create a gift that would ‘remind him of home’ as she put it kindly. She was gracefully (to put it mildly) rejected before she could even put it in his hands.

"No thanks." he says, cutting the scholar off as simply as that. "I already have a partner."

When she leaves, all polite smiles and near-tears, he looks at you by his side with a peculiar expression, like that of a cat wanting to be praised. Really, he can be so contradictory sometimes.

"Becoming quite the heartbreaker, are you? You've broken the poor girl's heart." you muse, but you kiss him on the cheek anyway. He's all proud after that. He would rather gut himself than say it to your face, but you knew he took pride in your relationship.

(You raised your hands in solemn prayer that day - her courage was very much admirable, since it takes a strong willpower to brave the wanderer’s deadpan stare.)

Honestly, if he weren't so straightforward, so straight to the point, you’d probably be jealous of people taking an interest in him.

Well, you kinda were sometimes, when a woman sent a lingering look for too long or when others could see and compliment him. But that was a thought you did not want to entertain, not when it was a very lovely day and your Wanderer wasn't being particularly fussy.

“It's not good for your image if you keep on rejecting others, y’know.” you poke at his cheek, leaning onto his side like second nature.

Wanderer's scoffing in indignation, but he changes his position on the bench to put an arm around your waist to pull you closer. “So? I already have you, what could those other nobodies possibly offer?”

Your smile grows even bigger, if that was even possible. “You trying to fluster me, Kunikuzushi?”

“No.” he replies, giving you an unamused look at the use of his full name. “I could do it just fine without resorting to making you jealous over some letter.”

Swiftly as the winds he wields, Wanderer takes your lips on his own, covering the action with his hat one moment and leaving you very flustered, very flushed the next.

“So you were trying to make me jealous.” you say accusingly, red-faced and face burning.

“Maybe.” He pulls away, licking his bottom lip momentarily, looking at your embarassed face. It's a miracle you haven't combusted from such a suggestive display. He grins, visibly smug. “Your face when I do makes for the most entertaining display. Case in point.”

“Smartass.” you hiss, but you steal another kiss for good measure, fast enough for him to be surprised. Pink blooms across his face as the sun-touched trees sway lazily in the breeze. You grin, and he narrows his eyes like a hissy cat. “Not a chance.”

© 𝐌𝐇𝐈𝐈𝐄𝐄𝐄 : do not repost, copy, or plagiarize my work.

#꒰ ✉ ꒱ 𝒅𝒓𝒊𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓'𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒔 •°. *࿐ #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #wanderer x reader #genshin impact #scaramouche fluff #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche drabble #scaramouche x you #wanderer fanfic #wanderer imagine

[starrstaufsteine]

i can't possibly tell you how tired and empty i am. the realisation that your weight will always matter; in being at peace with your body, being able to look at the mirror without shame and disgust, without pinching every inch of you and knowing nobody will find you attractive in this embarrassing state and in every social situation is soulcrushing, nauseating and makes me want to die more than anything in the world. nobody will ever find me attractive: and if so, it'd only be regardless of or because of my figure, never in a way where it won't matter. if you are not thin, your weight will ALWAYS have some kind of importance and be mentioned. it makes my stomach twist and absolutely hopeless that anyone will ever love me truly, i don't want to live like this anymore but i'm just so exhausted. nothing has ever left me feeling more powerless than my attempts to lose weight and how little they did. i want to be put in a coma and only be fed the amount of calories to keep me alive, and wake up when i am at my goal weight. neither can i stand living in this body any longer nor do i have the power and strength to change it, for once i want something good to happen to me and not forcing me to invest every bit of willpower i have left. i can barely keep myself alive. i don't want to be conscious through all this pain, i want to live again, i want to be able to look at myself and not feel the urge to tear at my skin until i am nothing but bones and mauled flesh. i don't want to live like this but i am deathly terrified that i am locked inside this state without any possibility to escape. i'm drained of everything

#pro m1a #pro 4na #not pro just using tags #i wanna be sk1nny #skinnysp0 #tw ed in the tags #tw edd #i wish i was thinner #skinnnny #ed not ed sheeran #tw ana thoughts #tw ana rant #i wanna lose weight #i wanna be tiny #i wanna be skinnier #tw disordered eating #pro @na

[weuschoiceheart]

Welcome to another episode of “what the fuck am I doing with my life.”

#i'm cramming for a test tomorrow #gotta study an entire unit in a few hours #i'm now having doubts about becoming the vice president for my school's dance club #i still have hw to finish #i'm so fucking tired #i still need to shower and eat #i'm questioning myself and the future again #why do i feel like the future seems so far but so near at the same time #and it'll soon just pounce on me and swallow me whole #and there's nothing i can do abt it everything's just an endless cycles #same shit same same shittier night #nothing changes and i want it to change but i don't have the willpower nor the mental capacity to change #gosh i feel like a failure #i am a failure #everyone having their life together and i can barely keep mine from falling apart again #it already did #junjun stuffs #rants

[royalydamned]

SOAKED

|Mycroft Holmes x Reader|

|AN|: I haven't written one shot, let alone something x reader in like? two years? maybe? Reader is written as non-specified gender and is only referred to as "you" , so no pronouns for reader. My love for Mycroft suddenly hit me like a truck after years so I had to contribute.

Summary: Bit of rain, whole lot of feelings, and one love confession. Maybe storms aren't that bad, if they show you that you are worthy of love after all. In Mycroft's case for sure.

Mycroft sighed as he rubbed his tired eyes. The clock on the wall in front of him showed early afternoon, yet cold and darkness spread outside of his windows as the sun hid behind heavy clouds early in the morning. Peaceful but gloomy day. Still, the heavy pounding of rain against the glass of widows and road, as well as the rustle of the wet trees in the wind was oddly peaceful and comforting.  He had a hard day of work behind him, and another evening of more work ahead, just another weak attempt to distract himself from a foul mood he was put in because of the complications that came with the weather. 

Important plans, well, to him at least. He was supposed to get to see you.

A busy man he was, that wasn't even up for a question. His schedule tightly packed with meetings, paperwork and more than occasional fixing of his brother's mess, or just simply preventing it, it left a very little time for pleasant distractions such as a quiet time spend with delicious cup of tea and your sweet smile. Today was not the day for distraction it seemed, certainly not as big as your company, that left him flustered and distracted hours after you said your goodbyes. 

Your meetings were always a special occasion, even if they were short, brief and unfrequent because of how far you lived, Mycroft always cherished them for weeks following, replaying your lovely laugh and almost sparkling eyes in his head as he woke up and texted you a good morning message, or as he layed down to sleep and wished you sweet dreams. 

He might have...cared. For you, your happiness, your well being. Much more than he would ever admit, to others that is. Inside his own mind, he knew far too well how utterly enamored he was with you. 

The eldest Holmes wasn't the one to act, God forbid act upon his feelings. He could watch you, with crushing ache in his heart and deep longing as you always talked about your newest acquaintanceship, secretly wishing you held the same sentiments as he did. 

You never seemed to have a shortage of suitors at your heels, one better looking that the other, with charming smiles and magnetic personas. Likeable, social, just as you deserved. While he--, well, there was no need to ruin his day further with self-describtions. He knew very well how others percieved him and how he looked. Sherlock never failed to remind him if he occasionally forgot. 

Mycroft Holmes was aware, that he was nothing anyone would have ever wanted. 

The relationship the two of you had now was more than he could ask for, in all honesty. Time spent together, secrets shared in quiet moments and deep trust you held, it was enough. It was all he needed, if he still could watch over you. 

Outside a thunder struck, pulling him from the spiral of thoughts that he always seemed to fall into in the loneliest moments. With a deep sigh he stood up from behind his desk, eyes burning from how long he stared into the bright computer screen, and made his way downstairs into the liquor cabinet. He deserved a small break. 

His house was dark, almost like a nighttime had fallen outside, but he didn't bother turning on the lights, instead he carefully climbed down the stairs, gripping the wooden railing at the side for security. By the end of the staircase, he deeply regretted his foolish decision, but before he could make even one step towards the nearest lightswitch, a doorbell stopped him. 

Confused, he opened the door, only praying not to see his younger brother and his babysitter standing outside, as he had no intention nor the mood to put up with his obnoxious antics this afternoon, but instead his eyes landed on you. 

A soft surpised gasp escaped his mouth as he saw you on his doorstep, shivering with cold, your clothes completely soaked, excess droplets falling on your face and the tiles outside, and arms cluthing yourself for the tiniest bit of warmth. 

"|Y/N|?" He asked in quiet disbelief, almost as if he thought  he was imagining you. 

"We agreed to meet after too long, like hell a bit of rain would stop me," you replied with a victorious grin, lips almost purple from the cold and your whole body visibly trembling. 

"Foolish," he muttered pulling you gently inside from the atrocious weather. "You are completely soaked."

"You apparently have that effect on me," you smirked, the witty remark escaping your lips without control, and Mycroft was glad you couldn't see the embarrassed shade his cheeks caught. "No, but really, I walked most of the time. You know the tube is too far away from your place, and I didn't have enough money for a cab, I figured it isn't going to be that bad."

"It was." 

"It was," you agreed, rubbing your hands together in quick motions, trying to gain the feeling back into your fingers. 

"You should change or else you'll catch cold, come." You let him grab your hand, his skin pleasantly warm against your cold numbed one. He tried to think about anything else rather than the feeling of your connected hands, there were more important things now than such minor distractions. The image of you walking outside in the storm, just to see him. Just to be with him. It sent the most pleasant feeling into his stomach, the idea that maybe, he was almost as important to you as you were to him. But that was nothing but a wishful thinking, a desire of a naive man, and that is not who Mycroft was. There was no need for false hopes and embellished reality. 

He lead you into his bedroom, the idea of what it would normally mean coloring his cheeks, but he ignored those intrusive thoughts, focusing on helping you warm up in any way possible. "You have to change into dry clothes. Mine should be sufficient for now." 

"Alright." Came your voice from behind him, and he turned around to see your topless form. 

His breath hitched as he quickly dropped his gaze onto the floor, trying to keep the image he saw out of his mind, out of respect for you. No matter how badly he wished to remember it. Your skin glistening with water, body hiding under the clothes he strangely found himself craving, too primal and illogical for himself to admit. It was too hard keeping his head clear, with the sight from a few seconds ago burned into his brain, unable to ignore, unablet to forget, twisting his inside it certain ways he rarely felt before. 

"I will wait outside," he stated finally, pushing the neatly folded pile of clothing towards you without looking up in the slightest, and left the room. 

 When he shut the door after him, he finally felt like he could breathe easily again. Leaning against the doorframe, replaying the moment again and again, against his own better judgemnet, without the willpower to stop himself, and gulped heavily, trying to get rid of the strange sensation inside of him. 

It was like his feelings weren't enough. Like the fact that he, after all, wasn't too different to others, as he was so deeply affected by the helpless emotions of love and how deeply he was hurting with every moment without you. So depended on your presence bringing him joy. Now he steeped so low as physical attraction, pure desire of your touch and your body. He would mock himself if he could, you were just too much. 

A soft click of the doorknob caught his attention, and stayed almost staring, asking himself over and over again, why does he love the sight of you in his clothes so much. 

You hugged yourself tightly, still trembling significanty, but now at least rid of the wet clothes, and smiled up at him, with warmth only you could muster at such a moment. "This is much better, thank you. Sorry for such complications." 

"Nonsense," he huffed almost annoyed, like your health would ever be a complication. To him. Ridiculous. "Come, I think fire and a nice cup of tea will warm you up." Placing a hand on the small of your back, he led you back downstairs, where the big fireplace was. The close proximity the gesture put you in flustered you both, but Mycroft didn't want to let go. And neither did you. 

You turned to him, looking up into his face, smiling mischieviously when he caught your eyes. "Don't you have anything stronger?" 

The corner of his mouth twitched upwards, strongly liking your idea. "Your wish is my command."

Downstairs, he found the thickest blanket he had, tightly wrapping it around your shoulders, and you snuggled into its comfort immediately, watching him struggle to start a fire. 

"I suppose you aren't the one for camping," you mused with a small smile, giggling shortly at his grimace. 

"My, how could you possibly deduce that?" A tiny flame sparked inside, dacing across the thick logs of wood before disappearing under them, and growing rapidly. Mycroft stood up from the ground, dusting off the dirt and ashes from his hands and clothes, and looked rather proudly at his work. 

"I guess I was wrong. You are full of surprises, Mr. Holmes." A warm light from the fireplace illuminated your features, the growing flames sparkling in your eyes, and Mycroft stayed just to watch. He didn't believe in perfection, that concept was unachievable and he never believed in such terms, but as he watched you in this  moment, hair frizzy as they were drying from the water, the messy strands falling into your face, and just  then as he watched the orange light color your skin with small smile on your lips , he though you were the only one that came close. 

"Well," he inhaled sharply, pulling himself from the love-sick trance, and smiled back at you, the expression coming off more forced than it really was. "I shall go and fetch us something to drink." 

Later he came back with two short glasses and bottle of a still unopened liquor bottle, sealed with silver paper and a stamp of the highest quality, almost unnoticable smile playing on his lips as he made his way back to you, where you set cross-legged on the little carpet right in front of the fire. He copied your position, awkardly folding his legs, your knees almost touching, and placed the two glasses into the space between you. 

"I'm just," he started unsurely, pouring each of you a glass with impressive precision in the amount, and looked at you again, almost shyly. "I'm very glad we got to spend our evening together after all."

"I'm very glad as well Mycroft," you answered, a fond look in your eyes as you looked at the man in front of you and raised your glass in a silent gesture. He repeated the motion, nodding his head courtly your direction, and took a small sip, watching you in astonishment as you drank it all at once. "Getting warmer already," you laughed, watching the smile on his face widen at your comment and poured you another glass. 

You set together for what felt like hours, and maybe it was, in comfortable silence by the melody of the cracking fire beside you, the bottle almost fully drank and the personal space between you long gone. Your feet were tangled together in the middle, knees pressed against each other, both supporting your heads on your hands as you talked, with blissful smiles and faces almost too close. 

Mycroft adjusted his posture, resting his chin on his connected hands supported on his thighs as he watched you attentively, noticing and drinking in every detail of your face, your voice your tipsy mannerisms. He could never tear his gaze off you, you were captivating, like a mysterious painting hanging in the gallery, attracting everyone to look, to try to figure it out, and know everything about it. But he knew everything about you, and still he wanted to learn even more. Secrets you never told him, things he simply couldn't just see. Every morning he wanted to see your face, to give him the strenght to go through it, and ever evening he wanted to come back to it, because you felt like home. And Mycroft hated himself for being so melodramatic. This wasn't him, all these thoughts, all these emotions, they were stronger than his healthy judgement, which was already clouded by alcohol. 

 "Wasn't your partner worried, just going outside in such a storm?" You huffed out a breath, both amusement and annoyance mixing in that display of emotion, and Mycroft quite couldn't place, what it meant. 

"We broke up several days ago."

"I am very sorry to hear that," he said genuinely, even though inside he felt selfish joy that he won't have to hear about yet  another perfect match for you, another reminder of everything he wasn't. And could never be. Nothing you wanted nor needed. 

"Don't be, nobody I met yet was really for me," you mumbled, dropping your eyes into the empty glass in your hands, brows furrowed in deep thought.

"Why is that?" He took the last sip from his glass and carefully set it on the coffee table by his side, his full attention at you again. 

"When you meet so many people, good-looking, charming and kind people, but none of them fits you, none of them is right because you set impossible standard, almost unachievable by most people." You set aside your own glass, shifting even closer to him, hearing how he took in a sharp breath, hesitantly straightening his back. 

"That must happen when one deserves perfection," he answered looking longinly into your eyes, unable to look away. You were truly hypnotising, the only thing he could look at hours without  a break and never get tired. The only person he grew to love so deeply. Truly one of a kind. 

"Oh, not perfection, heavens no," you laghed, throwing your head back a little at that, and he still couldn't look away. Why was it so amusing, someone as perfect, as flawless, deserved nothing less than the same. "The thing being, that it's too far from perfection, and in a world where people desire nothing more than to eliminate their flaws, something perfectly imperfect is unachievable."

You leaned closer to him, licking your lips, already pink and sweet again, without realizing, and he almost lost his control. Swallowing heavily, he forced himself to look back into your eyes, trying to forget about the questions appearing in his mind. How would your lips possibly taste? How would it feel having you so close? Heating you up with his own body, blanket too long forgotten?

He couldn't think that way. He had to collect himself, but he didn't know how. Subconciously, he leaned in as well, the gap between your faces just inches apart, your breaths almost shared in one, and it felt like he was dreaming. If that was the truth, he never wanted to wake up.  

"They all lacked just one thing though," you whispered, placing your hand on his leg for support, making Mycroft to freeze completely, too disturbed by the contact and the overwhelming heat it sent through his body to think about anything else. 

"That being?" he forced himself to say, his throat tight and voice quiet, almost as if he had lost his breath. 

"They just weren't...you." A simple statement, a plain sentence bearing more meaning than most conversations he had been part of. His gaze abruptly shot back up, cathing he own almost instantly, but no words made their way out. He couldn't talk nor move, shock too obvious on his features, that even a child would know. 

His hands moved on his own, the other times brilliant brain, his biggest pride during his whole life now shut off by a few simple words, his body moving without a single though. Your cheek was warm already, burning hot under his skin as he gently caressed it, moving out a fallen strand from your face, tracing your cheekbone with his thumb like you were the most fragile thing in the world. 

"May I kiss you?" you breathed out, your eyes looking up at him, sparkling with emotion he thought he would never see in them, and he nodded, fulfilling himself the one wish that seemed too impossible for a realistic man to hold. 

Your lips met in the middle, slow and hesitant as you both silently prayed you wouldn't wake u in the middle of the nigh and find out it was yet another dream. 

He sighed deeply into the kiss as you moved to sit in his lap and deepened the kiss, pressing your lips against his more roughly, more needily, hands carefully placed on his neck and your whole body so deliciously pressed against his. So hot and soft, an opposite picture to your arrival, sinding the most pleasant shivers through his whole body with every slight movement in his arms. Mycroft's arms ended up wrapped around your waist, tightly cluthing your body to his like he was afraid you would leave. He couldn't let go. He never wanted to let go. 

After a short while, seconds, maybe minutes, he didn't know, the best moments of his life, you pulled away, only slightly to cath your breath, and rested your own forehead against his. He could smell the rain in your hair and your unique scent all around him, and he wanted to remember it all. Every single detail, to replay it, to dream it. To live it. 

"I love you," he said quietly, too long of a silence from his last words, and finally gather up the courage to open his eyes and look at you again. At your glowing eyes and wide smile, at your messy hair and body tangled in his blanket, in his own gaze, you were the perfect everyone seeked. 

"I love you too Mycroft."

And he never wanted to hear a sentence repeated so much as in that moment. Fortunately, you would never get tired of saying it. 

#mycroft holmes #mycroft holmes x reader #sherlock #sherlock bbc

[dom--minnie]

Three’s a Party

Summary: There aren’t supposed to be secrets in relationships. Unfortunately, Felix currently has three. One is let out with no problem. The second creates complications no one could have foreseen. The third, unknown to him, he isn’t the only one that holds the same secret.

Word count: 9.3k

Genre: fluff, smut, angst

Content: non-idol au, established reader and felix, gender-neutral afab reader, felix is nervous, chan is a bit of a dummy, felix wears skirts, threesome, switch! reader, switch! felix, dom! chan, mutual pining, slight lack of communication, threesome arrangement with kink and safeword discussions included, daddy kink, piv, protected sex, unprotected sex, MxM intimacy, (slight) size kink, (slight) strength kink, hand kink, finger sucking, praise kink, pet names, creampie, slight voyeurism and exhibitionism, accidental confessions, polyamory negotiations

Taglist: @solistired @hyunsluvv​

a/n: I only technically lied about the release date. Yes, I said Saturday but I also said the 18th which is today for me still, so it’s fine! I hope I made the wait worth it for anyone interested and for everyone else, voila

Relationships aren't meant to have secrets. Felix technically has several but he keeps them under wraps. The most damning one... one that he would never reveal except under the direst of circumstances. The other ones are far less destructive but are arguably more embarrassing. 

You live in blissful ignorance of all of these, at least for now. Until Felix decides he should tell you something, considering how often he thinks about them. So one day you walk into your shared bedroom with Felix he's wearing a short, blue skirt. Your face is neither positive nor negative and Felix spins, skirt flaring, staring downwards still. 

"And what's the occasion here, darling?" You question. 

Felix makes a confused noise in his throat and looks up to you just a little more. 

"Why have I received such a beautiful gift today? You look amazing, Fe."

Felix leans forward to kiss your nose and giggles when your hands roam under the skirt and squeeze his cheeks. 

"I've wanted to wear a skirt in the bedroom for a while, but wasn't really sure how you'd react." 

"Awwww baby, never be worried about anything like this. I might be confused but I love you so I'll never react badly."

Your comforting words are genuine and Felix wonders how far they truly reach. Would you say the same if he wanted to have a threesome with one of his closest friends? Or said he had a crush on, was practically halfway in love with, said friend? It's not what tonight is about and the thoughts fade when your lips connect.

You're so, so gentle with him and Felix sinks into you. Felix's wandering hands spur your own and suddenly it's like you're horny teenagers again that can't get enough of each other. Your hand slips back under the skirt and the easy access is fun, especially if he plans to wear nothing under it like he is now. Easy access to start jerking him off, and you happily do so, keeping your mouth pressed against his. 

Even with the anxiety Felix must have been imagining a number of situations with how hard he is in your hand. A sigh leaves his mouth as he rests his head on your shoulder. With one bite in your neck and only one sentence all of the power in the situation flows back to him. 

"I want you to sit on my face and then ride me, doll."

Any stress you may have had is gone after that.

Similar situations happen several more times over the next few months. Felix either has a skirt on and is obviously wearing nothing under it. Or he changes into a skirt with nothing under it when it’s clear you’re going farther tonight. Each time you’re caught a little off guard by how truly pretty he is. Lee Felix is sunshine, rainbows, and starlight of course but it’s like the skirt gives him a little extra confidence to shine brighter for you. 

So one hurdle down, only two more to go, great. Felix has never been so glad to have incognito mode with the number of phrases he googles related to 'how to bring up wanting a threesome with your significant other.' 

It's honestly not that useful, as the so-called advice was generic things he could've gotten from anyone. 'Trust them and they'll trust you' or 'do it with someone you both trust' like thanks he knows all of this already. 

Your next take-out dinner and movie night brings some strange behaviour from Felix. He's quiet where normally he'd be commenting on these extraordinarily stupid characters. When one of them completely ignores the obvious thing and Felix doesn't react in the slightest you know he's not paying attention at all. 

He certainly pays attention when you stop the movie and straddle his lap. Your hands cup his face and your forehead rests on his while your eyes meet. 

"What's on your mind, Pixie? Don't try to avoid it either, I know." 

Your gentle compassion almost makes Felix want to spill everything. It all bubbles up to the tip of his tongue but then he thinks of the possible disgust or heartbreak and pushes most of it back down. 

"You know how you said I don't have to be uncomfortable bringing up anything about... bedroom life?" 

You giggle at the euphemism and how adorably shy Felix gets about it when not in the act. Regardless, a hum of assent vibrates your throat. 

"I've been thinking about having a threesome." He blurts then squeezes his eyes shut, not allowing your reaction to reach his eyes. 

The small boop your finger leaves on his nose leads him to open his eyes. Nothing about your expression is negative and you look at him as fondly as ever.

"Do you-"

"Chan." 

A bright, fond laugh bubbles over your lips. 

"Sorry love, you just answered so quickly. Sure, we both trust him. We can talk to him about it and... arrange a day." 

Arrange sounds more formal than you intend but that's what it is. With the weight off of his mind, Felix is able to make fun of the new characters not seeing the plot right in front of them.

Chan knows this is a bad idea, he even cares that it's a bad idea, and yet he agrees. Backing out at any time is always an option, neither of you will be mad. It doesn't matter because he won't. Even if it hurts he will take the one chance he may ever get to screw around with both of his crushes. 

There was no pretense of a normal hangout. You texted Chan that you wanted to talk about something. When you all sit down Felix ends up doing the talking about it since it was his idea in the first place. You both want to have a threesome with him. 

It takes all of Chan's willpower not to coo at the blush that spreads across Felix’s face and ears. Also, a significant amount of brainpower to agree with the right amount of excitement. Not too little that you think he's unsure or doesn't want it wholeheartedly. But not too much that you are suspicious about any underlying feelings or motives he could have. 

Really, you're just thinking about your boyfriend and how cute he is. Not anything against Chan but you love Felix with every cell in your body and it pours out of you often. He can see it from a mile away and doesn’t mind because he’d love to be doing the same thing. Looking at Felix with all the fondness in the world that lets each side know that everything’s going to be ok. But alas, a threesome will have to do for now. Or forever, honestly. 

Then the fun part of it comes: interests. What does Chan have that he likes to do, and would like to do with you. Vice versa, what are you comfortable with and want to do with a sudden, if trusted, third-person present. 

"I'm wearing a skirt," Felix says. 

You smile at how easily he's able to say it, a stark contrast to before. You know that it will give the same confidence on the day of all of this as well. Surprise flits over Chan’s face but he just nods and doesn’t say anything more. 

"I want to dominate both of you." Chan brings it up first, any type of power play and dynamics. 

You and Felix look at each other then back at him and both nod excitedly. Chan already has strong leadership qualities, especially around all of the boys so really this makes sense. It will be very attractive for him to be giving you full orders and expecting them to be followed. Even thinking about it makes your brain work overtime and you have to physically shake yourself out of it.

"Felix and I… we'll just see how it works out. But we’ll both listen to you, for sure. Sound good?" 

You have to check with Chan if he's going to be in charge of both of you. A quick look between both of you and then he nods. 

A moment goes by and you look at Felix with a smirk on your face. He frantically shakes his head before you turn back to a visibly confused Chan. 

"Felix over here has a strength kink. Wants someone to manhandle him a bit." You drawl and Felix doesn't even mock tackle you. 

"Yeah, well you have a size kink! Wanting someone to look down at you and hands fitting around your limbs."

Felix sticks his tongue out at you as you feel your cheeks heat up to the temperature of the sun. Perhaps Chan fits you better than first anticipated. Strength and size in one, not to mention some other interests he slots right into. 

"Any kinks you both have and aren't about to expose to me?"

You and Felix easily speak in unison.

"Praise and hands."

The moment you say that Chan reaches his hands out and lays them vertically so you can see the incredibly veiny backs. Imagining those fingers in any of your wet holes has you readjusting your legs and you can hear Felix do the same next to you.

Felix clears his throat in an obvious attempt to quickly move along from that. 

"Anything you have in mind, Channie?"

The nickname is affectionate and if you didn't know better you'd think the tips of Chan's ears are flushed under his curls. 

"Praise for me is good, no matter who’s giving or receiving it. I like nicknames or pet names, titles as well."

When it becomes clear Chan isn't elaborating you both lean forward in a clear gesture for him to continue. 

"Ok. Baby, bunny, angel, beautiful. For myself? I dunno, choose some. Particular titles especially." 

You all have flushed cheeks as this is becoming a reality, hearing Chan say these things out loud. Hopefully, you'll both be saying some of them as well. One title sticks in your mind and you’ll just have to test whether he’s into that or not. 

"Safewords." You state and both men nod. "We use the colour system generally. Green, yellow, red.”

"Sure," Chan easily agrees. It only slightly surprises you that he knows, and has probably used that exact safeword system before. 

You lean forward to rest your cheek on your palm. 

"I mean... I think that's everything? We can have a phone call or hangout if there's anything else."

Okay but... when? When are we gonna do this?" Felix points out.

It had gotten lost in actually arranging but the goal of this was actually enacting it all so that fact was a bit important. 

"Like 2 weeks from now?" Chan says. 

You consider it, a fair amount of time to go but not too far either. Enough time to mentally prepare but not to freak out fully and leave the country. You look at Chan then Felix who voices his agreement. 

"Alright then, Saturday in 2 weeks. Come over for dinner, Chan. We can ease into it that way."

You stand and Felix follows. Heading to the door you both give Chan a hug, Felix longer and tighter than yours as usual. 

You step out and turn around to face Chan again. 

"See you later, daddy." You wink.

Felix purposefully makes his voice lower and repeats the playful words. It's obvious he tries to hide it but Chan shivers at Felix's voice. You only knew to look because he has the same effect on you.

The two weeks pass entirely as normal. A couple hangouts with various groups of the guys and knowledge of the future threesome doesn't invade your mind. The day before you thought Felix would be visibly stressed already but he seems entirely fine. 

He seems fine to you, but Felix is good at hiding his emotions if need be. And he is freaking the fuck out. There came some point where it really settled in that this was a plan, it was happening, and it was going to be tomorrow. From that point on it had hardly left his head. Hiding his feelings while fucking around with the man? Is that even possible for a Lee Felix? It doesn’t really matter because it’s already happening, so really something is going to happen and he is determined not to ruin it. 

To calm himself down there’s a number of things he can do, yet he chooses the one that wouldn’t make sense to most people. Calling his best friend, the slight hyperactive squirrel man, Han Jisung. Jisung is adept at the two things that can bring Felix out of almost any type of nervous state, whether with genuine comfort, or with chaotic distraction. 

Yet when he calls, Jisung seems to know something is different. 

“Soooooo, what is up my dude? How have you been?” Jisung sings.

“Ah, just a bit nervous for no reason and I know you’re not doing anything.”

Jisung is silent for a couple moments longer than the normal, puzzling. 

“You sure it’s nothing? You’ve been…. extra. The past week, especially.”

Felix goes over the last times they’ve hung out together, especially as a group of 9. There’s nothing out of the ordinary that he thinks Jisung may count as ‘extra’, whatever that even means. 

“Extra what, Ji? What are you even talking about?” Felix laughs, assuming Jisung will too and they can just move on. 

“You’ve been staring at Chan like way more than usual, dude. I thought it was ridiculous before, but now… he’s either denser than a brick or ignores it.”

Felix’s mouth drops open and he’s silent for nearly half a minute. Other people have noticed how often he stares at Chan? Jisung noticed how much he stares at Chan? This is an entire disaster. And if Chan ignores his stares, then what does that mean. Actually, no, if he goes too far down that route then he’s going to chicken out of all of your plans and he wouldn’t dare ruin it. 

“Are you the only one who noticed?” Felix asks hesitantly, mouthing please in hopes that if someone else has noticed as well, that it’ll just go away.

“No… Jeongin and Seungmin are wayyyyy too observant for that, the little demons. Minho, too. I haven’t heard from the others but if I’ve noticed then…” Jisung trails off. He’s not the least observant in the group. That title goes to Felix and Chan themselves. But he and everyone else would put him low on the list, so if he knows then almost everyone else probably does too. Well, shit.

“I’ll only tell you if you promise with your whole heart not to tell anyone else.” 

Felix’s heart is pounding and it thrums loudly in his ears. Is he really about to tell someone else about this? Jisung, no less. 

“I’m concerned but yeah, of course. Unless it’s a crime.”

Felix forces out a laugh, and he knows Jisung can tell but neither of them comment on it.

“So… maybe I have a bit of crush on Chan. It’s fine, it’ll go away eventually and I can just move on, but for now. I have crush feelings.”

Jisung is silent and Felix has to check if he hung up at some point.

“So you stare at your ‘just crush’ like he put the moon up himself? Not believing that or a second. But I understand now, so whatever. You gonna tell them or…?” 

Felix lets out a real laugh this time, then scoffs like Jisung’s proposed robbing a bank tomorrow. 

“And have them break up with me? No thanks, I’ll just live with it.”

This time its Jisung scoffing so hard his throat will be sore.

“You’re an idiot. If they love you, and we both know they do, then it’ll be fine. Be honest about your feelings, it’ll only make you stronger.”

Felix considers it, turning the idea over in his mind. Inevitably, his mind turns to your possible reactions. His dreams come first, the ones where you somehow like Chan as well and Chan likes you both. Or the ones where you’re ok with it. Or any of the ones where Chan even likes him back. But of course, the more likely reality. Where you’re uncomfortable or disgusted. Or want to… nope. 

“I’ll think about it. Thanks Ji.”

“Sure man, anytime. Popcorns going so I’m gonna dip. Good luck.”

Felix is left in the silence of the bedroom to ponder. They both know he won’t do it but the wonderful fantasies make it seem possible. Some wonderful fantasies can come true, somehow.

The stress explodes in the morning. Felix is out of bed when you wake up and when you exit the apartment is practically sparkling. From top to bottom, you’d believe this house had never been lived in if your pictures and souvenirs weren’t everywhere. There's also a wonderful cookie smell coming from the kitchen, and it draws you in. Whenever Felix bakes it floods through your apartment and makes it seem like a home. Cheesy, yes, but it’s really what he does to you. 

Felix's back is to you when you come in the kitchen and you wrap your arms around his stomach. He lets out a small squeak of surprise before giggling, face lighting up at you being awake finally. 

"You do know Chan's been here before right? You didn't have to do this."

Felix sighs and turns to face you, leaving a kiss on your forehead. 

"I know I didn't have to. I'm just nervous and all this kept my mind off of it for a bit."

You coo at your adorable boyfriend and peck his pink, pouting lips. 

"No matter what happens he's just Chan. You're still you, I'm still me. It'll be ok, Fe." 

The sigh Felix lets out has a different meaning to you both. You assume it's clearing his mind and re-centreing himself. Really it’s thoughts of how, at the end of the day Chan is never just Chan for him, but this is reality and not his ideal world. He doesn’t get to have two attractive partners to come home to every day. The timer goes off behind him and the reminder makes the smell of cookies flood your nose and mind again. 

"Join me on the couch when you're done, baby. I'm gonna work on some stuff for a bit." 

The reminder of cookies existing every timer goes off is delightful, and really the only reason timers should exist ever. Most of the way through the batter, Felix dances into the living room and feeds you one, delightful as always. He’s beautiful like this. The lingering stress showing on his face from the morning is entirely gone. The blinds are finally open for a reason and sunlight reflects off your sunshine.

The day passes easily once it begins and Felix is done practically vibrating out of his skin. In the early afternoon, he even falls asleep with his head in your lap for a while. Looking at him is like looking at a sleeping kitten, curled up and peaceful. 

It gets later, a bit darker and you pull up the recipe on your laptop. The kitchen barely fits 2 people but you and Felix work well enough together that there are few problems. It’s nice to just… coexist with someone else so peacefully and naturally. The door rings and you and Felix glance at each other, for just a bit too long before he patters away. 

They both pop their heads around the corner and Chan joins you both, squishing the kitchen space even more. He gives you both soft kisses on your foreheads, smiling and greeting you quietly. As soon as he does you and Felix look at each other and nod, kissing his cheeks at the same time. His cheeks flare bright red and his eyes widen but he quickly recovers. Expression settling and laughing, even if his ears and cheeks don’t stop burning for quite a while. Then you notice the box, probably a dessert that you won't be getting to tonight. Or… you will get to dessert technically, it just won’t be any of the typical sugar. 

It proceeds normally, you may even forget what your plans are for a minute. But as plates start getting emptier Felix is the first to tense up. Chan follows soon after but you manage to stay the calmest, at least on the outside. 

Chan puts his hand on your knee first and you stand. Suddenly, Felix's grasp comes from your other side and tugs you towards him. He looks so… innocent that you just can't help but tangle your fingers together. At the same time, he tilts his head up towards you, waiting for a kiss. Your hands tangle in his hair and press your lips against his. 

You both turn to Chan after and he's sitting up, completely straight and still. You round the table and he puts his hand on your hip. It doesn't escape your notice about how much of you it covers and you resist looking down to see it. 

"Can we kiss you?" You ask, breath fanning across his lips. 

He should say no. Say no, say no, saynosaynosay- 

"Yes." He says with false ease. 

You lean in and he lets you lead it, simply resting his hands on you. Felix comes up behind you and rests his head on your shoulder, watching. 

Chan briefly bites your bottom lip but you pull away before too much happens in the kitchen. Before you can move Felix switches places with you and throws his weight against Chan. It's like he was prepared and his hands go around Felix's back. You take a good long look at them before playing with Felix's hair and taking your own turn to watch them. 

"We should go to your bedroom." Chan pants out, eyes blown wide when he opens them. 

"You heard him, baby boy. Follow him." 

You giggle when Felix whines at the pet name. 

"You're our baby boy tonight, aren't you?" You tease. 

Chan feels something flare inside of him when you use such possessive words, especially "our" anything. In any other situation, he knows it would be "your" and it kills him. He wants so much more, but he cannot either of you entirely in the way he wants so much. It's not a controlling type, simply a statement. Felix is yours as you are his, and neither of you are Chan's. 

The moment you reach the room the door is closed and you are pinned onto it. You watch Felix disappear to change but Chan makes sure your attention is back to him quickly. He kisses you again, but harder this time. 

Felix feels like this is a dream. Maybe he's finally achieved lucid dreaming. Because he's standing in the bathroom changing his skirt and about to have a threesome with his significant other and best friend/crush. That can't be real. So he's ready to wake up and tell you about the totally wild dream he had. But not the feelings, because those are still very real. 

He never wakes up. Instead, he pulls the skirt on and walks out to see you pinned against the door and Chan nipping at your neck. 

When Felix appears your attention is immediately split between them. It goes back to Chan pretty quickly when he starts whispering in your ear. 

"I certainly know what I want to do. First, I'll watch the 2 pretty kittens in front of me for a while. A pretty picture being painted right in front of me. I'll keep the rest to myself for now. Go kiss your pretty boyfriend and give me a show, alright sweetheart?" 

He backs away slowly and you go to Felix, whispering in his ear as well. 

"He's going to watch and wants a good show from us first. So let's give him one, huh?" 

Felix throws his arms over your shoulders and nods. Before you can tug him in he looks at Chan who nods as well before pulling out your desk chair. 

Your kiss with Felix is already heated and messy, the extra thoughts of an audience and pleasing that audience in mind. It moves faster than you normally would when in the bedroom. Though the tension of the whole day, and especially of the dinner may be enough to make up for that. 

Your hands roam furiously around each other and each time your lips break apart you each let out a gasp before diving back in. Felix starts walking you towards the bed with slow steps and flips it around so you fall onto his lap. Before he can do anything you fall to the ground on your knees. 

When you flip up his skirt and see nothing underneath you can hear Chan groan from his spot. Immediately you sink your mouth down, gagging just slightly as he hits the back of your mouth. Taking a second to breathe, you look up at Felix who already has his eyes closed. When you stop his eyes flutter back open and his hands go to your hair, resting there with no intention of pulling. You bob your head slowly, not taking him all the way in every time. A couple times you try to glance at Chan in the corner but he’s moved farther than what you can see. So, your attention is focused on Felix who’s very entertaining and responsive on his own. 

It starts as low moans that tell you he’s feeling good but you’re already looking for the high whines that you know he gives out. You hollow your cheeks and swirl your tongue in that way you know he likes, and the low groans turn into higher moans. They’re quieter than normal and you can tell he’s holding back, which is understandable, but you want him to let go. 

Your head gradually bobs faster and faster, with Felix’s moans getting higher and more frequent. With one particularly deep dip, he hits your throat and a loud whine breaks free. You do it again and again, letting Felix lose control. His hands twist in your hair, still not enough to cause any pain to you, but his hips stay still to let you set the pace. You know Felix is close and you both want it and are both ready to receive it, even so early in the night.

“No, no, little one. He’s not cumming yet.” Chan suddenly speaks, tone firm. 

Felix whines and you make a disappointed noise and slow down, not giving him enough of anything anymore. 

Felix pushes you off of him with a shuddering breath and a poorly concealed whine. After a moment of confusion, you switch places with him. He’s on his knees and starts peeling off your pants, with the noises of Chan shifting in the background. With every inch of skin that is revealed under your pants, he makes sure to kiss it, all the way down to your ankles. He pulls down your underwear after, with less reverence and more impatience this time. 

Before he can dive in, as he so clearly wishes to, Chan clears his throat across the room. 

“Felix.” Said man perks up and turns towards Chan, eager to please. “Turn them towards me and let me have a look, won’t you baby?” 

You obediently don’t move and let Felix turn your body, spreading your legs as well. Even without looking down, you know that you’re soaked already. Chan’s groan confirms it and you shift impatiently. Felix waits though, until Chan nods, before turning you back and getting his mouth on you. 

All things considered, he’s gentle but the build-up and tension makes each bit of pleasure like a shot of electricity through your body. He licks eagerly, tasting you and making you twitch. Your hands go his hair less nicely than his did before. You tug at the strands, which only makes him moan into you which makes your hips buck into his mouth. Each small sound from Chan makes you want to see and feel him but you wait, indulging in Felix as is. 

Felix knows exactly how you want it and with every minute that passes your whines get louder and with each flick of his tongue your brain gets fuzzier. Chan is taking a relatively hands-off approach for now but even with his seemingly infinite patience, he must want more. It’s hard to focus on that when Felix is eagerly slurping at your wetness and making you want to ride his face. You test the waters by rolling your hips once, twice, three times. When neither man stops you, you roll them incessantly. 

With no prior experience, Chan somehow seems to know exactly when to stop you from getting too close.

“Felix, stop.”

Felix eagerly obeys, and you whine loudly in disappointment. One look from Chan cuts you off and you resolve to not protest again when he finally walks over. He stands above both of you but looks down with fondness and not scorn. 

“How should we do this, pretty pets?” 

You don’t even look at Felix before boldly speaking to him, knowing it was mostly a rhetorical question.

“Fuck me! Please?” Your sudden boldness is tempered by the way that Chan looks at you and you dip your head down.

Felix visibly brightens once his fuzzy brain puzzles out that he’ll probably get to be back in your mouth. He’s the first one onto the bed and you follow, Chan coming up behind you. Your kiss with Felix is interrupted by Chan tugging your shirt over your head and shoulders. He pulls it off and you turn around to pull his own clothes off, bringing Felix over as well. 

Chan laughs when you both eagerly tug at his own clothes, trying to pull everything off at once.

“Slow down little ones. You’ll get it all soon.” 

You and Felix stop and stare when his shirt comes off and you are suddenly very aware of him. It isn’t that Chan hides how muscular he is, just that you didn’t pay too much attention to it before. Now, you’re certainly paying a lot of attention. It’s broken when Chan goes to Felix’s shirt and you’re as excited as usual to reveal what’s underneath. 

Just the sight of them alone nearly has you drooling and your hands run over their bodies at the same time, hardly believing they’re both in front of you. There’s hardly a chance to admire them as they both want to see you as well and pull your shirt up, one hand on either side. 

Chan’s hands get on you and dip lower, lower and all the way down to between your thighs. You shiver and watch his face, waiting for his next move. Felix’s hands go up, to your nipples. His warm hands on you makes you shiver but still, you watch Chan who just is not moving. It makes you want to whine and beg but you know, almost for sure, that he’d disapprove. So you wait. The light touches on your nipples makes you whimper and moan occasionally and Chan watches you. 

With a slowness that makes you want to scream, he pushes one finger inside. Even the barest feeling of being full makes you shudder and sigh in relief. After a few thrusts of his fingers where he meets no resistance, he pushes a second one in. You make a high noise in your throat and lean back against Felix’s chest, who takes the easy opportunity to kiss along your neck and shoulder. 

The sensitivity of being so close from Felix’s mouth is still there and it has you moaning louder than you normally would. One of your hands reaches out and grabs Chan’s hand that is laying on his thigh. He doesn’t stop you so you bring it to your mouth and suck on two of his fingers. Felix lifts his head and groans at the sight, Chan’s pretty hands in your beautiful mouth. 

Both men seem to thoroughly enjoy just playing with and teasing you, and it feels so good that you honestly don’t want them to stop. But you’re also craving so much more. With reluctance, you pull Chan’s fingers out of your mouth and whine at him.

“Daddy, please!” 

He raises an eyebrow at your insistent tone and pushes another finger into you. It makes your head fall back onto Felix’s shoulder but also increases the need of being filled by Chan right now. 

“No~ need you to fill me up, please.”

He slams his fingers into you, hard and deep and it makes you gasp. 

“Do these fingers not fill you enough? They just aren’t good enough for you.”

Felix behind you huffs then laughs, clearly caught between finding Chan’s teasing amusing or exasperating on your behalf. 

“Don’t make me say it! You know what I want.”

Felix finally starts sucking marks on your shoulder and it makes you sigh happily, a good distraction for just a moment before Chan speaks again. 

“I wanna hear you say it, sweetheart. I want to hear you beg.”

Chan’s tone makes even Felix gasp, his mouth disconnecting from you and a sudden, hot breath caressing your sensitive skin. You shiver from the many sensations on your body and the sudden addition of his clear order. 

“Want… want your dick, please. Daddy, fuck me!” 

After you’re done speaking Chan puts his fingers back in your mouth, letting you suck on them contentedly. If you’re going to get what you want you have to leave what you have and Chan pulls all of his fingers out of you at once. You know better than to whine so you hold it back, but your eyes screw shut in displeasure. 

“All fours, doll. Come on now.” Chan coaxes, and Felix also sighs when he has to disconnect from you. Chan takes that time to get a condom, and when he turns he just admires you and Felix on the bed. A perfect picture, but one that he’s also involved in tonight. 

You get on your hands and knees then just wait for them to touch you again. Felix knows he’s still a bit sensitive and waits for Chan to start. Chan with infinite patience that is now absolutely killing you. His hands are feeling you up, down your ass and thighs and back up again. When he notices how obviously impatient you both are he finally lines himself up with your entrance and pushes in. 

It makes you sigh. The opening of your mouth prompts you to look up at Felix who smiles down at you. You push your neck out, wanting him in your mouth and he pets your head. His fingers lift your chin and make you look up at him again.

“Be good for us, baby. Make us feel good.”

You eagerly nod and he finally moves closer. Once the tip of his dick is in your mouth, you start swirling your tongue around it. The moment he thrusts in you open your mouth wider and let him use it. It doesn’t take Chan and Felix long, as close and in sync as they are, to set a rhythm where when one of them pushes in the other pulls out. Chan’s thrusts push you towards Felix so much that his cock is nearly always in your mouth fully. 

At some point, you can feel the drool starting to drip down your chin and Felix coos while he wipes it away. 

“So messy, baby! Drooling all down my cock.” 

All you can do is hum in agreement and hope he hears it. Being absolutely ruined with him in your mouth is always a fun experience and having Chan behind you improves it quite a lot. Speaking of Chan. His hand has come around and two of his fingers are feverishly rubbing your clit. It makes the long-awaited pressure build-up and he groans when you clench around him. 

“Such pretty pets in front of me. Wet holes dripping down our dicks and making everybody messy. You just can’t hold it in, can you little one? That’s ok, we know you’re enjoying it.”

Chan’s voice is raspy when he speaks and it bolsters your confidence to know how good he’s feeling, too. It’s not as if you can say or do much about it. Especially not when you can feel an orgasm building and he thrusts so hard to make you dizzy. 

Felix broke back into high whines a minute or two ago. When he speaks, it’s strained and he can barely get more than a few words out at a time if he can think them at all.

“Gonna cum. I want you to- to swallow it. Holy fucking shit, your mouth is so good, honey.”

You open your eyes, when did they even close, to look up at Felix. Attempting to get across how good he feels and how badly you want it. His chest rises and falls with quick, harsh breaths. Chan is so good behind you, rubbing your clit in small circles and long length filling you up better than you dared to hope. Your own peak is building but can barely focus on that for now, no matter how badly you want to. 

Felix hits your throat once then twice more and with a small cry and jerk of his hips he cums. His whole body quivers and trembles as his seed shoots down your throat. You cough on it for a moment but swallow it down. The convulsion of your mouth projects a high-pitched whine from his own. 

The moment Felix leans back, and your mouth is still left open, Chan drives into you roughly. A noise of surprise that you barely recognize comes from you before you start moaning, feeling your own high so presently. With Felix no longer in front of you, Chan holds your hips and pulls you back, slapping against your skin even louder every time he thrusts in. The continued stimulation on your clit is almost overwhelming in its intensity. 

Felix can see the grunts and groans leaving Chan’s mouth but can’t hear them due to your own keening moans. To everyone’s surprise, Chan cums before you do but doesn’t dare stop or slow down his pace, even when it overstimulates him. The movements of his hips are less fluid but it doesn’t make you feel any less pleasure. With each thrust, he had learned to hit nearly any spot you needed him to. 

He’s left panting but is rewarded when you let out a gasp and something that sounded like ‘gonna cum’. Your whole body shivers when it washes over you and even still Chan thrusts which makes shake that much more intense. Eventually, he stops when it becomes far less pleasurable for himself, he has a limit, but still rubs circles on your clit. A distraction shows in the way of Felix who climbs onto his lap. The relief and pleasure are still coursing through you and you flop to your side, curling your legs up and inwards. You watch them kiss through blurry eyes and how Felix submits to him so readily. 

“Lixie~ one more? Inside?” You pout. 

Chan coos and runs a thumb over your puffed-out bottom lip. It’s always a bit of extra fun when you let Felix cum inside. It’s a bit messy which neither of you really wants to deal with afterwards. Tonight’s special so why not add an extra little bit of a reward for him? 

Felix turns to you and gasps. When you don’t laugh it off, he moves in front of you.

“Can you ride me? If you’re not too tired, I mean, of course.” 

The way he nearly spits out the words, like they just can’t come out fast enough is adorable. You prop yourself up on your hands and look at Chan over his shoulder, with wide eyes just barely seen by him.

“Go ahead, pets. I’ll join the show again in a bit.” 

You giggle and nearly tackle Felix down by his shoulders. His hands go to your hips out of instinct but you sit on one of his thighs first. Sitting on his thigh, you nearly want to grind and ride on it, looking at Chan’s thighs makes you fully pout again. Those are some good thick ones that you’d love to sit on. Felix chuckles when sees what you’re staring at but tugs you forward by the hips to try and get you moving. 

You make a noise of recognition and easily sit down fully on his dick. The familiar fullness makes you let out a small mewl. 

“Does he feel good, kitty?” 

“Mmh, yes. Really good, daddy.” Your voice is breathy, different from the fully voiced moans from when Chan was railing you before. 

“Ride him then, doll.” 

The order that you were actually waiting for comes and you bounce, slowly. Chan is intending to let you go at your own pace but when a fair amount of time passes, with a fair few whiny moans from Felix, he tsks. 

“You can do better than that. Faster, harder. Make him feel good.”

You place both palms flat on Felix's chest and spread your fingers wide. Your thighs flex as you ride him and the slide makes you gasp. After you’ve set a steady pace for yourself you take your hand to your clit, starting a bit slowly but going quicker as the stimulation doesn’t quite satisfy you as you need it to. Felix watches you, enraptured. You try to look back whenever your eyes are open but it’s overwhelming and they swiftly screw shut again. 

Felix is back to his low groans that you can nearly feel and it’s nearly unbearably unattractive. Chan thinks the same if the small noises he, unintentionally, lets out are any indication. He tries to mumble praises to you but more often it’s Chan who takes the lead. 

“Such pretty little babies, putting on a good show. Only for daddy to see.” “You both look so cute and small. I’d be able to ruin you both so easily.” 

His words and encouragement make you clench and Felix jerks his hips up into you more than once as well. It’s good and you want to keep going but soon your thighs are a bit sore and tired and you begin to slow down again, whining in disappointment. 

“Looks like kitty can’t quite keep up anymore. Why don’t you do it instead, Lix?” 

The familiar nickname used in such a different context makes Felix suck in a sharp breath and his eyes widen. He’d really like to get used to that but as it is he holds your hips and starts pumping. Felix just manages to hit different spots inside of you when he does it himself and he has you moaning loudly within a minute. 

When you look back over at Chan he’s jerking himself off in time with Felix’s movements. He’s not sitting close enough for either of you to reach but his eyes flick all over both of you, taking it all in. Looking down at Felix, his eyes are completely closed but his mouth is open to let you hear his low moans. They get a bit louder and you can tell he’s getting close so you turn on the begging.

“Lixie, baby. Cum inside me, please. Want you to make it all messy and I wanna see it drip out.”

Felix grunts and starts cursing under his breath. In less than two minutes he spills inside you and the warm spurts of cum fill you up more. Your breath is heavy as you get closer again yourself. Chan finally joins you again, fingers replacing yours. Felix still jerks his hips into you as much as he can, but he’s too sensitive for too much of it. Still, Chan’s hand just works and you roll your hips into his hand to feel more. He barely has to do anything honestly. Still jerking himself off with the other hand you can tell he’s holding back by how tight his voice is.

“Use Lix and my hand to get yourself off, kitten. I’ll do it with you, too.”

Your mouth falls open and a long, loud moan comes out. Your second orgasm feels like an overflow of the senses, so much so that you barely even notice Chan spilling over yours and Felix’s legs. You come down with a shiver and your legs and fingers are left with the most shakiness. 

“Up, sweetheart. We wanna see it drip.” 

Felix’s voice is low and rough but not stern. You nod and slip off of him, laying down and letting them both see. It’s nothing you can see yourself but from both of their low noises, it’s very appreciated.

You’re all left panting, sweaty, and shaky. You stay on your back and throw your legs on top of Felix’s. Chan stands and shuffles off to find towels for you all first. It makes you recognize that you need water and you grumble and sigh before standing. Felix hears you and jumps up to get you on his back. Just as you get onto Felix’s back, Chan returns.

“Why don’t we dry ourselves off first, okay cuties?” 

You both sit back on the bed and look up at Chan with wide eyes. He continues to take care of you both as best he can and it makes you even sleepier, eyes drooping occasionally. Felix keeps you awake with small jabs and pokes. Everything you all need is done and Chan has agreed to stay for the night. All the buses have stopped, Ubers seem sketchy, and any other arguments he may have are shot down. As well as the argument for him just sleeping on the couch. Felix wiggles himself in the middle and shoots a firm ‘cuddle me’ at Chan before snuggling happily down and going to sleep.

You and Chan share small glances of bewilderment before settling in as well. It’s hesitant but you can feel how Chan eventually moves in, centimetres at a time, to do something that could be considered as cuddling Felix, if you really want to stretch it. The bed is full but instead of feeling crowded you feel comforted, knowing two of your favourite people are the ones there with you.

Chan wakes first but doesn't move in a way that would indicate he's in anything but deep sleep. Once he's sure neither of you are awake he sits up and gazes at both peaceful, sleeping faces in front of him. You're both beautiful in the throes of passion but there is something about the peaceful light of day that pangs his heart differently. 

Surreptitiously, under the blankets you and Felix hold hands but lay with eyes closed as you feel Chan looking, observing. He takes a heavy breath in that makes you want to sit up and ask, comfort him, but something about the stillness in the air stops you. 

"Fuck," he curses lowly, but in a different way than the last night. "You're both so beautiful, I wish every morning could be like this." 

You stay quiet, even if thoughts race through your mind, but sensitive Felix gasps, no matter how hard he tries to muffle it. Chan leans back against the wall to create as much distance as possible. 

Felix sits up slowly and you follow a moment after. Chan lets out some nervous, forced chuckles. The confidence of yesterday has melted away, leaving the usual, shyer Chan sitting here instead. 

"Channie?" He shudders. "What did you mean by that?" 

He stutters and fumbles, trying not to lie but also keep feelings intact. Eventually, he just stops and freezes everything for a moment. Then before you can even think, he tries to leap off the large bed towards the door. Felix is fast and grabs one wrist while you rush to stand and grab the other to push him back down.

There is no fight, only an acceptance to sit back down. 

"Channie, please." Felix chokes out the words and when you look at him he's on the verge of tears. 

Why is unknown, but it's clear this is going to be a difficult conversation. 

Chan sighs and runs a hand through his hair, flipping his head to look at both of you. 

"I never thought this was going to happen, any of this. Last night, everything this morning. But whatever happens, don't let my words affect your relationship."

He looks at both of you separately to receive an agreement. 

"I really like you both, romantically. Maybe even love but I've tried to avoid the thoughts. For obvious reasons."

In the silence of anticipation, Felix's tears had dried on his eyes but now they sit, teetering on the edge of his eyelids.

"Lix. Are you ok? You look like you're about to burst." You speak gently to Felix because he looks like a terrified little animal. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I was never going to tell you." 

Your confusion only grows at his vague words and you can't see Chan from the way he's turned his head. 

"I understand if you wanna break up with me. I'd probably want to if the roles were reversed."

A gentle hand on his knee prompts Felix to raise his head and look at you.

"It's ok, love. I'm sure we can work this out. Just tell me the whole story first."

"Chan and I have been best friends for so long, years before I thought about dating anyone. He's seen all my highs and lows. Then you came and changed that a lot and we started dating. But still, somewhere along the way I... I developed feelings for him." 

Felix curls himself so small it seems impossible and leans away from both you and Chan. You sit in stunned shock and try to make sense of everything that just happened. When your eyes focus again Chan's eyes are flicking between you and Felix. Felix. 

You mentally curse and lunge towards him, embracing him in a tight hug. 

"Can you look at me, my love?" You coax gently. 

He sobs harder at the loving, familiar pet name coming from your mouth but obliges. Somehow still the prettiest man you may have ever seen, but that's not important.

"It's ok." You say simply. 

Felix looks at you in confusion, sobs still wracking his body periodically even as he tries to hold them back. 

"Your feelings for Chan, they're ok." 

You can hear the small, confused noise Chan makes from his spot behind you but mostly you hear the loud whimper of Felix in front of you. 

"What? Are you joking? How are you ok with knowing your boyfriend has a crush on someone else. His best friend, as well. One of the people you're both closest to. And you're ok with that?" 

The points Felix is making aren't completely out there. But there's something that flares up in your chest, something amazing, when Chan and Felix interact so tenderly. Their normal banter is what you expect but when it's quieter or later they get softer and so do you when looking at them. 

"I am. I like that you two have an incredible dynamic completely separate with me. Of course, I love talking to you both as well. I can't explain it, but it's there. So yes, it's ok." 

Felix launches himself onto your lap and buries his face in your chest. You focus on him, nuzzling your nose in his hair and rubbing his back. To the point where you almost get lost in your own world completely. Of course, almost is the key word. 

Chan watches in envy as you both drift off into a comfortable affection and closeness. There was just a whole confession but he can’t help but feel like he doesn’t fit perfectly, not yet anyways. He wants to hold you like that, or Felix, or both. Maybe later, not today. Today he needs to go home and let you have a day to yourselves. 

Chan is off the bed before you can even speak and you and Felix look at him, puzzled. 

"Haha, um, I just don't to y'know intrude on your morning routine or anything. You don't need to get up I'll just go, yeah. We can talk more another time." 

Your deadpan look to Chan somehow increases as he says 'intrude' and you're sure Felix has pulled out his sad kitty look. 

"Chan. Bang Chan. Christopher Bang. Sit down." You order.

Felix laughs when he follows your order, almost dazedly, and sits back down to fiddle with his hands. 

"Can I kiss you? For real this time." You ask, Felix moves off your lap in anticipation.

Chan looks up at you with his jaw hanging down. He nods then closes his mouth and clears his throat.

"Yes. Please." 

You're half on his lap with your arms around his neck before he pulls you in. After a dizzying minute or so you pull away. 

Felix would be mad you got to kiss Chan with feelings first if it wasn't so damn attractive. When neither of you moves he whines and does grabby hands in that general direction. 

You move out of the way and watch as Chan goes to Felix without hesitation. Chan is wider and could probably cover Felix up entirely from the right angle. They're so soft. Chan's hands are barely touching Felix's waist and Felix's hands are moving up Chan's arms and shoulders. They’re beautiful. Absolutely stunning. When they pull away from each other your hands go to rest on each of their shoulders’ and you level Chan with a stern look. 

“Just listen until I’m done. No interrupting. Just listen.”

He has the presence of mind to just look slightly sheepish and nod.

“Me and Felix have been dating for a while but that will make you no less of a valued or important member of this relationship. If we’re going to do this then we all need to communicate our feelings to each other. So, Chan. If we ever, ever, make you feel left out in any way, you need to tell one of us. That goes for all of us in any situation.” 

You sit back but Felix catches you and pulls you into his side. Chan follows his lead and moves in front of you, putting his long arms to use and hugging both of you. You all sit in peace and adoration for a bit before stomachs begin to grumble a bit. Chan is the first to disentangle himself and the look of disbelief that crosses his face all over again is almost comical. 

"You're... This is ok?" 

You giggle at his still present disbelief. Hesitantly, you reach one hand towards him and he grabs it and moves toward you. While still making eye contact he gingerly presses his lips to the top of Felix's head. 

"It's real, Channie. I promise." You giggle then whisper.

Chan pulls his hand back and looks at both of his palms in shock. You give him a few moments then he reaches his arms back around both of you as best he can and buries his face in Felix's shoulder. 

"Thank you." He mumbles. 

"Three's a party, not a crowd for us.” You reply, leaning on Felix as well.

Felix is the glue that binds you two together, and the one that got you here in the first place. For not the first time and not the last, you're happy to have met him. 

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