#not to be emotional but like fuck man idk i’m just proud of myself for hanging on this long
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So I’ve met an incredible guy that’s makes me feel like I could take over the world💞 I think I owe some of you a story time for being so quiet for a while. And also i really enjoy writing them for you. So I’ll tell you about a day with this man (I asked what he wanted to be called in this story and he said Mr. O, O for orgasm🤪). Here it goes:
He lives in another town and we couldn’t see each other longer than a few hours during the day, so he drove an hour to visit me. First he picked me up and we decided to go a gallery and to have some lunch. He brought a bag of vibrators that he showed me before and told me we were using later.
I’m always so filled with emotions and so wet whenever I’m around him, and he says things like that he’s proud of me for being who I am and that I should listen to my heart and that he thinks I’m so beautiful and wonderful. I sort of wished for him to touch me in public but he just kissed me and looked at me with his really sexy eyes and told me that he couldn’t wait to make me cum for him later in the car.
As soon as we sat down in the car he gave me a wand and told me to use it while he was driving. So I spread my legs and put the vibrator between my legs. He told me I was being a good girl and that I should continue. We tried to find a place to park so we could have more fun, and since he doesn’t know this town I had to give him instructions while I was moaning and trying to focus.
He never lets me cum only once so when I came the first time he immediately told me to keep the vibrator where it was. I struggled a bit to keep it there because I’m a bit sensitive right after I orgasm, but I like it when he encourages and challenges me so I did my best to keep it there. I came two more times before we parked the car. When I was done he said “and what do we say?” And I said “thank you”.
We arrived to a place where we could park. It was next to a gardening center which I was sure was only open during the summer. So we parked there and he folded the backseat and covered it with blankets and pillows. He then asked me while I was still wearing clothes, so I got undressed and put my arms around his neck. He put his fingers inside of me and he said “wow” and told me I was really wet. He then put his now wet fingers in my mouth so that I could taste myself.
He fingered me until I came a few times, constantly telling me I’m a good girl and that I’m making him proud and such (I love that, it makes me crazy in the best possible way). Then we hugged and kissed and he made sure I had a minute of rest and some water before he spread my legs apart and got on top of me and started fucking me. While he was fucking me I got to have his fingers, and sometimes my own, in my mouth. We often keep eye contact during and it’s so intense. He then came inside of me while holding me really close to him💞
We then rested and talked for a while until he told me it was time for me to cum for him again. He then gave me a vibrator to hold while I had his fingers inside of me. I’m so comfortable around him and it feels so good that I can’t resist being loud. I catch myself almost screaming sometimes because I can’t control it at all.
Probably idk many orgasm later while I was resting my head on his chest, I saw something move outside the window. We looked more closely and saw that someone was sitting nearby just watching and having a cup of coffee or something. We immediately started getting dressed and trying to leave as fast as possible. It was cold and sunny and we had fogged up the car so bad that we had to use a shirt to try to get the windows dry before we could leave.
We then went and bought ‘fika’ and drinks (he had me put a vibrator inside of me and walk around with it while we were shopping) and then we went driving around the place where I grew up. I showed him places and told him stories from my life. We talked about memories, old lovers, sorrows and so on. He also made me cum a few more times in the car before we stopped by the water so that I could have a cigarette and so we could hug for a while.
He then drove me home and made me cum a few more times before kissing me and dropping me off. It was a perfect day with a perfect person💞
The picture is taking at his place, the mirror says “there’s no one like you”💞
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For your new Insta prompt for harry’s house!yn…can it be a collab with Nova? Maybe do one about her Matilda one shot and blurb? Idk I just think it would be so good 🥲
okay i’m nervous cause i don’t want to completely cock up the vision of nov’s matilda fics😫
disclaimer: this is for my harryshouse universe but i’m using @astranva matilda fic as beautiful inspiration;
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y/ninstadiary (12/3/18) today i met someone different. i pushed myself to go on a date. i’m still confused as to his motif behind taking me out, but he was nice. he had kind eyes. and was really pretty actually. i’m writing in the uber on my way home from our date at the museum. it felt weird to be in the presence of someone i actually wanted to be around. not sure whether i’ll go out with him again or whether i deserve it? today felt lucky though. :)
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HSUpdates Harry spotted at a Museum with a group of friends. Sources stated that he was mainly talking to a girl who viewed the entire display with him. (12/3/18)
1,656 comments
harryfan1 I want to go on a museum date with him.. damn
harryfan2 his yellow trousers YAASSS
harryfan3 it’s always so embarrassing when he catches us taking photos
harryfan4 @/harryfan3 his sixth sense 😭
harryfan5 museum? how classy
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y/ninstadiary (1/5/18) he wants to go out with me again? this will be our third date? i’m so confused. i think i’ve forgotten to mention that my date and crush is harry styles. his music has saved me so many times and was the person who inspired me to create my youtube channel. i had my therapy session today also and told them that i feel like a fucking alien. i told them i don’t know what I am feeling. i’m scared and confused. i want to like him but i’m terrified.
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y/ninstadiary (17/8/18) this photo now means a lot to me. this man said he loves me today. harry said it casually that it took me a moment to realise what he’d said. i was so conflicted at first, trying to make sure he knew what he’d said and whether he truly believed it. but he does. he loves me. i took a photo of him today (above) so i could remind myself of how beautiful he looked when he said he loves me. my therapist also suggested adding him onto my personal diary log… so hi harry❤️
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harrystyles I only want to tell you I’m so proud of your heart and your courage and bravery. I love you.🍋
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HSUpdates Harry seen today riding a bike along with the YouTuber Y/N L/N in Italy. (20/3/20)
2,756 comments
harryfan1 OMG SORRY DILF?!?!?!?
harryfan2 🌱IS BACK
y/nfan1 SORRY WHAT?????
harryfan3 @/y/nfan1 i wonder whether they’re dating???
harryfan4 THEY’RE SO CUTE I CANT
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yourinstagram vibes today📚
2,464 comments
y/nfan1 omg y/n are you a matilda movie fan??
yourinstagram @/y/nfan1 most definitely! she’s my favourite character ever! i just watched this movie tonight with someone and i fell in love even more.
harryfan1 matilda loving her books as much as y/n
y/nfan2 matilda is my guilty comfort movie
harryfan2 omg imagine y/n was watching this with harry…
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HSUpdates Harry and Y/N spotted getting cosy outside of a sushi restaurant in London today. (28/11/21).
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harryfan1 their relationship is the cutest fycking thing
harryfan2 i love how we keep getting secret pap photos of them just being completely in love❤️
y/nfan2 we’re officially adopting harry into our y/n fandom
HSUpdates @/y/nfan2 And we’re adopting Y/N into ours!
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y/ninstadiary (1/1/22) h sent me this today and i cried. i still sometimes have a hard time coming to terms with the fact he loves me. he brings me sunshine on my darkest of days. since our relationship has been public i’ve gotten better with getting to know my emotions and learning that it’s okay to feel. h has helped me so much, like he claims i’ve helped him too. he keeps on telling me that he has a song he wants to share with me but am i ready to hear it?
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harrystyles I know you’re ready. I’m here and you can hold my hands the entire time. You have my entire heart Y/N, so it’s going to be okay.🍋
15,827,232 likes
harrystyles Last night was not only special because I got to perform my third album for the first time, but because of a fan project that was in support of Y/N and the song Matilda. I was unaware this was taking place and was completely taken aback by how beautiful you all looked holding up your signs and your roses. Thank you for giving my Y/N some hope and love. You have now given her sun on the darkest of days, just as you have for me. Eternally grateful for all of you. Love you, H.
826,978 comments
y/nbff we have still yet to recover
harryfan2 thank you harry for writing a song as powerful as matilda🤍
yourinstagram im still sat crying on the floor
harrystyles liked this comment
annetwist Welcome home, Y/N💖
jeffazoff ❤️
109,757 likes
yourinstagram i started a family who will always show me love because of you. i love you. and i love every single one of you. i haven’t been able to stop crying. thank you.
32,646 comments
sarahjones You deserve the crown, queen 👑
harryfan1 proud of you y/n💜
y/nfan1 y/n we love you xx
gemmastyles 💛
harrystyles Strongest person I know. I love you.
yourinstagram @/harrystyles 🍋
#harry styles#harry styles x reader#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles x y/n#harry styles fanfic#ask finelinevogue#finelinevogue#harry blurb#harry styles concept#harry oneshot#harrys house instagram#harrys house finelinevogue#harrys house masterlist#harrys house#harry’s house blurbs#harrys house matilda#harry styles fluff#harry styles blurbs#nova my love#astranova
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Talk Hockey To Me
( @ghostgeno's tag game)
The thing that got you hooked on hockey
Started reading “hey now, you're an all star (get your game on, go play)” by @buckyismybicycle while it was ongoing because even though I was 1) completely uninterested in hockey and 2) also uninterested in Stucky as a ship, this specific author’s works have always been phenomenal and with each new chapter email I started getting more and more intrigued until I eventually gave in and started reading it (literally so worth it everyone should read it). In the end notes of each chapter, HR (the author) would add some fun facts and extra context for the hockey related stuff (considering it’s a whole hockey AU) that made me go “huh that sounds fun” more than once but I was still not super into the hockey thing.
Until.
I reached the chapter with a beautifully written match and I was like???? Is hockey like this irl?????????? This sounds so good?????????? Cue YouTube hacking into my brain and suggesting me hockey compilations which included the infamous Lick. I saw this random man just being a menace to everyone and decided he is now the love of my life. (i usually omit the stucky fic part bc ppl have opinions about marvel that i do not want to hear lol. so if i told you abt this before without the full context i'm sorry!!)
Your first ever fandom friend
@hard4softthings !!!! Love is stored in the ao3 comment section uwu
The jersey you would most like to own
I can’t pick one so I’m just gonna list in descending order: Marchand home jersey (with a C !!!!!!!!😤) , Pasternak (also home. Sorry it’s just nicer than the away version) , Quinn Hughes (the pride one because I’m obsessed with the design it’s so pretty)
YOUR player (you only get ONE so choose wisely)
The rat king himself 🖤💛🖤💛🖤 can u tell I have a favorite
A pairing that deserves more fic
Sid/Ovi ‼️ tuukks/pasta and Brady/Quinn too, there’s just so much potential for them.
Your favourite on-ice moment
Picking is difficult so you’re just gonna get a bunch <3.
Bertuzzi stealing cousin’s stick and trying to break it
Marchy kidnapping The Child
pigeon
dancing with the stars
tuukks Exhibiting homicidal tendencies (rightfully so)
flower wanting to feel included
whole team under arrest
Brady Tkachuk: why is there a fucking animal loose on the ice he’s going to give me rabies
marchy waving to a booing crowd
marchy blowing kisses to a booing crowd
flower asserting his dominance tripping TWO first round picks
Quinn Hughes seeing a fight break out and says ✨no✨
Marner spinning like a ballerina
+ link someone else's art/fic/etc that you love & think everyone should check out
ART:
this ADORABLE mcdrai art by @saviorified
MattMcDrai art by @adelphenium , obsessed with the blushing and the HAIR plz it’s so cute.
Awfully pretty sid and geno art by @ceanspam
Captaincy transfer by @adelphenium I’m so weak for rat marchy, and ALSO bergy’s eyes <33333 i’m so <33333
the kiss of life by @stillfertile
FICS:
The “All Caps” series by @makeit-takeit rewired my brain I’ve reread it countless times i think i can recite it by heart.
“hard to be soft, tough to be tender” The Hanahaki fic by @hardforsoftthings I love love love the emotional progression AND denial in both of these fics (also, horny. Thank u)
speaking of which, in less emotionally charged and more horny fics, the “spit cup” and “scratch that itch” non-traditional omegaverse doulogy by @ whitchbhitch (i do not know their tumblr)
+ link something you made & are proud of & want people to see
I’m honestly really proud of my flowertalbo fic, “Inevitably you will burn (as all living things do)” it’s really short (646 words) but I think I did a good job on it :>
Also, I find myself coming back to this one McDrai crack fic, “Oh Puck No!” idk what possessed me to write it but I had fun with it and i still find it silly and enjoyable lol
no pressure tags: @lindholmline @darkangel0410 @gilliebee @owchar1ie and anyone else who wanna do this!!!
#tag game#i'm not sure about the etiquette of tagging people i'm not familiar with but. yea#hope y'all don't mind <3
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The Rookie: 5x20
Okay, I don’t even know where to begin, because the ending has me crying, like genuinely my heart hurts. That fake smile that Tim gave?! I can’t cope.
I did really enjoy the episode though, so let’s go through the highlights
Domestic chenford obviously
Pancakes in the morning (cuties)
Also THEY HAD SHOWER SEX
I’ll just remind you THEY HAD SHOWER SEX
And it took him not even half the day to reminisce about it. Man is in a chokehold 🤣
Tamara was hilarious 🤣her disgusted reactions were giving ‘annoying little sister’ vibes but she has a super strong relationship with her sister and her sister boyfriend adores her and sees her as his own sister ❤️
I say this all the time, but I’m saying it again because it will never not be true. I fucking love Nyla Harper. Like for real, I would do anything for that woman. I love her, she’s a queen, she’s a goddess, she’s a badass- im obsessed.
Also, the whole Nyla and Lucy talk was very cute so imma need more of that please
Lucy’s little ‘playful punch’ made a comeback 🥰
Randy’s ‘oops I did it again’ had me in stitches 🤣
Angela- I love you ❤️ her constant bathroom breaks and death glares at Aaron when he questioned her snacking habits ? Perfection 🤣
Also whilst we’re on that- Aaron and Angela- another great duo. I’m loving these mix ups lately.
Glad to see Isabel well and happy now, proud of her for getting through all of that.
However, I sensed some flirting when she was around Tim that I wasn’t overly pleased about, but it could just be because I’ve made myself Lucy Chen’s personal protector so ?
Quick interlude. I just noticed in a gif that Tamara PHYSICALLY pushed Tim and Lucy apart when they kissed and I am cackling. 🤣
The END SCENE !!!!! I’m NOT okay !!!! Tim, TELL HER
Also, is it just me that’s just like a teeny tiny bit mad at Lucy ? It’s such a weird feeling to feel mad at her, but she told Tim she was worried about him, and yet when he said ‘I’ll be fine’ I KNOW she knew he wasn’t !!!! SAY SOMETHING
The fake smile he gave ?! She wasn’t even looking at him so he smiled for HIMSELF !!! To reassure HIMSELF ! I’m emotional again.
Also, I really don’t understand why that talk with Isabel didn’t falter Lucy more. She came home and said ‘I love undercover work’ with a massive smile which I wasn’t expecting at all. I thought that talk would’ve really made her analyse things. Idk, the UC path for her is just not for me. She’s amazing at it, but she’s amazing at everything, but something about UC just isn’t her.
The way he said ‘come here’ and then she leaned into him with her legs over his though 🥺😭
Anyway, can’t wait for next episode !!!! Please sort this UC stuff out. PLEASE.
#therookie#chenford#therookiechenford#timbradford#lucychen#tim x lucy#therookierundown#therookiespoilers#5x20#the rookie 5x20
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Three Concepts and a Dare
I was tagged by @junosjukebox to do this <33333 thanks for the tag :)
I’ll tag @myhusbandharryhamilton @aqpippin @adoordelano @thecollectionsof and @sweetlikesunflowersandhoney (sorry if you’ve already been tagged!)
If you have been tagged:
1. Do the dare of the person who tagged you in the game.
2. Write up three concepts* for a fic that you'd be interested in either writing or reading, but resist the temptation to write it before you've completed the tag game. (*eg. describing the world/setting the story would take place in, write a summary, write a small blurb that gets the idea across, do it through headcanons, etc)
3. Come up with an easy dare that the ones tagged can do. Be nice!
~~~
I was dared to give myself three compliments on my writing so let’s go 😅
1. I think I put a lot of heart and a lot of care into making sure that the characters feel solid and fleshed out and have their own personalities
2. I think I’m good at coming up with concepts that resonate with people
3. I like that I think big, I think it’s really cool that I have the drive and passion to write really long complex things (not that that’s the only good way to write obviously, I just am proud of myself for writing longfics like the ones I’ve always loved to read 😅)
~~~
Okay three fic concepts I’d love to read/write let’s go!
1. Hi idk if anyone has noticed a pattern in my writing but I love roommate fics :) anyways roommate bffs to lovers drunk confessions cuddling acts of service you know the drill very cute
2. Angst I fucking love you so bad I doooooo okay hear me out here model au, emotional mental and physical toll of modeling becomes too much for person a to bear and person b (partner? Pining best friend? EX 👀?) has to pick up the pieces
3. Okay y’all know my main man Jim Croce if not he’s great go listen to him anyways I was driving and I had him playing because I am what? Cool and sexy and have great taste in music. And then I’ll have to say I love you in a song came on and I went. Omg. Mixtape fic? Person a can’t figure out the right thing to say so they have to use music (a mixtape or playing music or singing or karaoke idk yet but SOMETHING music) to get the message across (also sidebar I started it a million years ago and then abandoned it but low key high key I want to write a choir tour fic still that was such a fun idea)
~~~
A dare for you <3
I dare you to add one sentence to your WIP and put it here without context :) (also bonus dare put a photo of your pet here too if you have one for me to look at and scream and cry over)
#tags#tag games#tag game#junosjukebox#Rachel rambles#this was so much fun!#also coming up with the fic ideas egad I am shocked and appalled how many concepts I have floating around rn someone please take some#someone write concepts I have so I can read them without having to write them heehee#there’s more where those came from#also the compliments were hard but good and now I feel better about my own writing#crazy how the brain works
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Kingdom of Ash
Struggling to get into this one
Awww Rowan and aelins babies
This book feels like all my sweet babies are grown up 😭
Omfg is Yrene pregnant?? Is this the book they all have babies? Idk if I’m gonna like that
Dorian is gonna learn how to shift!! Wait last fall? This all happened so fast! 8 books of drama in like two years?? Jesus
I’m 100 pages in and needing more!! The last two books ended with so much action to be had it feels like nothing is happening!
Okay Manon is looking for a way to connect with the Cochran and her great grandma literally told her ‘we got our fire cuz Brannon GALATHYNIYS gave it to our queen your great great great great great grandma’ and you’re literally allied with Aelin Galathynius….. I read that and said ‘whoop there it is’
Yay Aelin is back!! Taking her scars is FUCCKKKED
I have been slacking on note taking but I’m like 400 pages in now and Aelin and Yrene finally met!!!!! I’m so ready for Aelin to start kicking ass again!
Oh and I hope Lysandra is okay….
So many story lines finally coming together!
Queen of witches🥹
Okay I’m getting sick of Aelin not using her power!! People are DYING Aelin! Get it together miss ma’am
When is it gonna be revealed that Elide had dope powers? I know it’s gonna happen
Okay Elide your man just got cut down, now would be the time to be a powerful badass
What a stupid reason for Aelin to not be using her powers. You’re literally at war lol
Manon and Dorian always get me!!! Ugh she loves him and just wants him to stay and not sacrifice himself!! Me toooooo!!
Forget any bad thing I’ve ever said about Elide and Lorcan, they’re precious 😭😭😭
Why doesn’t Yrene use the tower to cure all the valg
Don’t ask me why I go over huge plot points and don’t feel the need to document my emotions but Lorcan gives Elide a foot rub and I’m 😯🤭📝✍️ But seriously me too girl, a man giving you a foot rub is sensual as hell iykyk lol
The way that could’ve been so hot and SJM just blue balls the shit out of the reader. It’s fine I’m fine. She just got my heart racing just to go into one of Aelin’s fucked up nightmares 👍🏻 cool cool cool
Aelin and Dorian have all 3 word keys…
No one has died yet and I don’t want anyone to!!! I’m so scared I have 250 pages left, I know what feelings are coming for me I just don’t know why yet wait did Dorian learn how to use portals from Maeve!?!? Could he transport the army. My boy is the most powerful mf in the books
Not Abraxos. Bitch I’ll throw this book out the window. PETRAH!!!!! Bitch that was So badass fuck Iskra
Wtf!!!!! The entire 13!?!? No I fucking can’t wtf!!! Seriously what the fuck
Waaaahh😭Dorian and Chaol
They’re not wasting time on a vote… really?
I’m hyperventilating reading this unfold. Please don’t kill Dorian or Aelin for this stupid gate
‘My name is Aelin Ashryver Galathynius and I will not be afraid’ WAAAAAAHH 😭
The king saving Dorian and telling Aelin her parents are proud 🥲 I’m not ok
Snow capped mountains under shining stars. Where A winged Fae male stood beside a heavily pregnant female, gazing at those very stars. 👀👀👀👀
Wow Rhys saved her
Chapter 100 wow I’m so proud of myself
So quick recap: Stones are gone no longer in play and gate is shut meaning erawan can’t ever return to his brothers of bring them to him. BUT he and maeve are still strong scary muthafuckas who have like 100k soldiers a bunch of witches and 6 spider fuckers cool 👍🏻
Oh no Murtaugh
It’s about time Lysandra and Aedion! You’ve literally lived eachother for like 4 books now
Aelin has missed her entire war. It’s literally her war on her land and she’s been absent for like all of it.. I’m glad she saved Anielle but her own home needed her weeks ago
Darrow naming Evangeline his heir got me all teary eyed and shit
Omfg Gavriel!!!! No no no why do I even read SJM books they just hurt me
All the battle scenes are so bleak, they’re getting smeared in this war!! I don’t see how they’re going to pull through tbh I’m waiting for a big Aelin scheme but idk if I can take another 100+ pages of them getting they butts whooped
Ugh ‘And she will not be afraid’ that’s gonna stick with me forever
I’m so close! They did it! Chaols reading a letter from his mom and his wife literally saved the world 😭
I’m unwell.
#i did it#sarah j maas#celaena sardothien#throne of glass#sjm#heir of fire#aelin galythinius#dorian havilliard#chaol westfall#rowan whitethorn#sjm books#yrene westfall#erawan#Maeve#kingdom of ash#abraxos#manorian#manon blackbeak#manon crochan
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3,5,29 :)
3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits?
I think ¡Revolución! because it has done everything I wanted it to do. I get the most emotional about this story because it’s truly truly truly a labor of love and hope. Maybe that’s cheating because I only finished revolución this year, I didn’t start it this year, but yeah. I keep going back to it fearful that maybe I’ll find smth about it cringey, but I don’t, and that makes me feel soooo proud and happy! Not to be super self-aggrandizing, but idk if I’ve read a fic like it before. And idk if I’ve read fiction like it either??? IDK IDK tell me if I’m delusional!!!
5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?
HONESTLY. HGIFTBN. I GENUINELY didn’t think it was going to be as widely loved as it is especially because I wrote it in a fugue state and it was LITERALLY inspired by a fucking TikTok so the fact that it might genuinely be the thing I’ve written that people reread the most is WILD.
29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?
UGH. there's quite a few. but what i'm really really proud of is the tension at the end of chapter 7 of tsor (also a lot of the battle scenes, b/c i didn't know i could write battle scenes!!). long excerpt below:
There was silence, but the silence did not take the place of the odd coiling within Lando - or perhaps uncoiling - nor the place of something heavy in the air between them. Lando’s senses seemed amplified. He felt Carlos’ fingers, long and sinewy, flex against his side. Nerves? He could hear his own heart, of course, ridiculous, ungodly in its volume. But there was also something beyond sense, beyond traditional perception, urgent and- hungry? Hungry.
That non-perception only intensified as they drew closer to Carlos’ rooms. Lando’s rooms were further ahead.
“I can walk you to your room first,” Carlos said as they drew closer. Lando wanted to say yes. Just to spend more time with him. But, instead, he shook his head regretfully.
“I-it’s okay. I can- walk myself.”
“I am sure you can,” Carlos said, and his voice also sounded…something. Oh, his thumb was stroking Lando’s side. Oh, Goddess. Oh, Goddess, why did that make Lando want to cry.
They reached the door to Carlos’ rooms. Carlos took a breath, oddly deep, and opened the door with the hand that was erstwhile against Lando’s side. He stepped through the threshold and turned to look at Lando. Lando just stood there, feeling unmoored without Carlos’ touch. He could not bring himself to move. They stood like that for several moments, gazing at each other. Even though they had parted, they were not far apart - Lando could reach out and touch Carlos’ chest, and even then not have fully extended his arm. Then, Carlos said, and he was whispering - why was he whispering?:
“You can come inside, if you want. For…cards. Or just to talk.”
Lando bit his lip, then shook his head. “No. It’s- I should. I should go.”
Unknowable One take him, Carlos looked disappointed. Lando hated himself. He hated that he was the cause of such a horrible expression on the prince’s face, that wonderful man, that beautiful, gentle man. But Carlos nodded and said, “If you want.”
And he stepped closer to Lando. Lando’s breath hitched. There was barely any space between them, but there was space, and Lando found he could not bear it. He placed his palm, tentative, fearful, against Carlos’ chest. Carlos’ eyes flickered; then he touched Lando’s cheek, and Lando leaned into the touch, the pads of Carlos’ fingers steady even though the rest of his hand shook.
“You’re cold,” Lando whispered. Carlos shook his head, his eyes still on Lando, his lips parted and eyebrows slightly raised in - anticipation? Hope? Lando swallowed. “I should, right? I should…go?”
And Carlos whispered, as though pained, as though it killed him to say, “I can’t make that decision for you, Landito.”
Landito. Lando closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened his eyes again it was because he felt Carlos’ forehead against his own, Carlos’ nose against his, and he had forgotten how much he adored this proximity, how amazing it had been when Carlos had done this last, pressed their faces together. Lando wanted to cry. As it was, he was tearing up, the hand on Carlos’ chest plucking and plucking at the fabric of his jerkin. Carlos took a shuddering breath, his lips lingering so close to Lando’s. Lando felt that breath, felt the hesitation, he felt every barely-there span that separated them. He hated it. He hated every millimeter between them.
“Goddess,” Lando whispered, and it felt like a sob. “Goddess. Carlos, do- do you want me to go?”
Were their lips brushing? Lando didn’t want to be cognizant of that fact if they were, didn’t want his heart to break in either case: if they weren’t brushing, why not? If they were- was this all? Was it all he and Carlos would get to have? Lando clenched his free hand at his side, and it shook, and Carlos laughed shakily and shook his head, and oh, their lips were brushing-
“Carlos,” Lando begged, “Should I go?”
And Carlos said, and Carlos said with his own perfect mouth, full of ache, “Stay, please stay-”
Lando sobbed, and Carlos gripped his face, hard and needy, and his lips were against Lando’s, and Lando sobbed again as he parted his lips against Carlos’, and it was fevered, and it was graceless, and there was nothing to it but desperation and that hunger from earlier, as Carlos groaned into Lando’s mouth, his tongue against Lando’s, and Lando clutched at Carlos’ jerkin, his hair, pressing his own body flush to Carlos’, and Carlos groaned again as he reached behind Lando to slam the door shut and push Lando against it, press his body back against Lando’s - and Lando realized, amazingly, he had not known before what it truly meant to be Faithful.
Goddess, thank you.
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oh i will talk fandom with you because puentalay run circles in my mind all day everyday and i need to let them out but idk how.
puen has personality of biggest loser but luck of thousands gods because talay fell for him and 1) they didn't see each others faces 2) talay didn't know how rich he is 3) they have maybe not even one common interest (only writing scenarios but talay was forced to do it and I don't think he'll continue to do it in the future) and still their bond feels so natural and strong??? they really live just to do the best things which are bicker and bang and enjoy good food.
tell me what's your favourite talay and favourite puen moments from the series?:)
Hi anon!! <3
DKAJFSD THE WAY YOU JUST STUCK "BANG" IN THERE MADE ME LAUGH ADKFJ
But yeah, I absolutely adore how they drove home that appearance plays no part in their connection. I'm sure they find each other physically attractive (in both their own and the other universe) but they were fully aware Tess and Tun's bodies didn't belong to them and fell in love anyway. It was all about the person inside. That's love man 😩
Also asldkjfld oh man I'm sure @stormyoceans is far more informed than I am but I can think of a couple things they have in common! We see them flying kites, fishing(?), and riding bikes in episode 2, plus they're enjoying a movie together in episode 10. And *sighs in I-don't-drink* we all know they like their alcohol. What's awesome about these two is that you can easily imagine them trying new things together, simply because they enjoy each other's company so much 😊
OH BOY YOU ASKED FOR IT. Because I have to be extra about this, here's at least one (1) favorite PuenTalay moment of mine per episode:
Episode 1 - Talay gifting the alpaca hat (and this line in particular)
Episode 2 - drunk!Talay kiss & "Ai'Dang!" (also proud of myself for calling that line was gonna come back when this episode aired)
Episode 3 - Talay not only trying to cheer Puen up (in his own goofy way) but also giving him advice without judgment (yes I like the bath scene too but this one is more meaningful to me personally, it's such an important step in their relationship)
Episode 4 - Talay teasing a shy Puen (rare in the wild) & the cheek-pinching battle
Episode 5 - the mouthing-words thing coming full circle by way of Puen reassuring a sad and lonely Talay he won't leave him behind
Episode 6 - Talay confessing everything he loves about Puen & whatever the hell this is
Episode 7.1 - this entire fucking scene
Episode 7.2 - Puen running right over with a home-cooked meal because he heard Talay was sick + the following conversation
Episode 7.3 - and of course, the emotional climax
Episode 8 - Puen pulling one over on Talay (and immediately explaining why), Puen being a horny bastard, them being total nerds, and THE scene which has to be one of the most romantic scenes I’ve ever seen
Episode 9 - Puen being a horny bastard yet again while making this face, Puen helping Talay with his trauma (again, no judgment to be found) despite having a terrible fight with him last time they saw each other, them making up in an understanding, healthy way, and Puen realising who Talay is in their own universe
Episode 10 - this bathtub scene because I love just how frickin’ comfortable they are with each other (even though I’d never dangle a tablet above my bath what is wrong with you Puen) & them hugging in elation after finally finding the link that’ll bring them back home
Episode 11 - WHAT THE HELL ELSE (+ them falling over during the kiss because that’s an adorable touch)
Episode 12 - this one might be incomplete because I’ve only watched it once and I’m holding off on a rewatch but! them being domestic and bantery and adorable in the opening scene, Puen pulling an Enchanté, and Puen’s proposal (Lays get the fuck outta here)
So much for sticking to one scene lmfao this took a bit of time so I hope you like my picks!!
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I love love love ‘love came back to me’
It’s just perfect - Kate being courted by others as she should be, Anthony being jealous and acting like a fool, but also that the other suitors are a genuine option? I’m throwing my hat in the ring for Sir Henry, she deserves someone who she is at least attracted to (and hey, even Anthony couldn’t find much to dislike about him)
Really can’t wait for Anthony to realise he actually doesn’t have time to wait for Kate, and to speak to her properly.
Also, I noticed your post about S3 - I liked Polin in the books, but I don’t understand how we are being promised a super sexy season with them? Like - Kanthony were right there! The tension of enemies to lovers is just always going to be better than friends to lovers imo, and especially given the chemistry between Pen & Colin isn’t great. I don’t know why Polins are fooling themselves with that.
I’m excited to see their story and then falling in love but weirdly; I’d be happy for it to be chaste 😂
hello! thank you for your ask!
I’m really happy you’re enjoying the fic it means so much when people tell me that 😭💜
I’m glad you like the suitors! I tried to make them (some) likeable enough but with flaws. Henry is also my favourite, he was the first one I brainstormed and I love him so 💜 even though he’s a bit slippery, he can fulfill Kate’s economical, intellectual and sexual needs (she’s attracted but like…not Anthony level). But can he fulfill her emotional needs?
Anthony will get a rude wake up call by the end of the next chapter. He definitely does not have the time he thinks he does. Nor does he realise just how much he’s fucked up.
Now to polin/season 3. Okay I didn’t mind Polin in the books. It wasn’t one of my top favourite books but you know, cute? But they’ve really fucked that up.
I honestly don’t know what they’re doing with this new season like they keep mentioning the sexy stuff but also said it’ll be funny? I want it to be more funny tbh. I also wish there was more spice in season 2 but hey now they’re married so I’m just saying….Kanthony really should have some spicy scenes this new season. For Polin in season 3 I have a few gripes but obviously I haven’t seen it yet. I don’t like true pining for years with no reciprocation or like when the boy finally realises “oh! My friends a GIRL” also it sounds like Colin is going to mentor her? I don’t know it give me a bit of an ick. Also I don’t see how Colin could be her guru to catch a husband? Man has no game? I’d rather madam delecoix “glow up” pen (I also have issues with the use of that phrase I think it’s frankly insulting to the actors) and pen just ignore Collin for a bit. Idk. It’s personally for for me (note: I thought the love triangle in s2 was ick as well and I obvi love Kanthony so maybe I’ll be wrong).
I think NC and LN have chemistry but like as friends. Maybe that will translate well in this couples case. NC I find to be a pretty good actress. LN…well. Thing is I liked him at as Colin in s1 but in s2 I found him painful. I don’t know what happened. And personally…LN doesn’t do it for me romantically ya know? Not saying he isn’t handsome, he is. Just not my cup of tea.
As for the sexiness - to me, most importantly, I want it to be what the actors want and what they are comfortable with. Like I want that for any and all actors. I could never put myself in that situation. Props to them. If they’re happy and proud then good for them. However — I don’t think it makes sense for that to be a big part of their story. Daphne and Simon yes. Kate and Anthony, due to all the angst, made sense it was less sexiness but when it happened it was explosive (cough, they’re married now let them bang) but with P and C I feel like it should be more emotional? So maybe like one or two sex scenes like K & A makes sense to me.
So I guess we will see!
Note: I am aware that I’m slightly jaded with s3 already because Polin does seem (and NC - I already feel bad for LN that he will likely be ignored in promo etc. it doesn’t feel like his season too. Just Penelope’s) to get deferential treatment and seem to be the favourites of production (won’t be watching tudum tomorrow but interested to see what is released). I unfortunately think the closer we get to s3 the more bitter I will become. Because I do think JB and SA were treated badly (SA especially). And that will likely make me less favourable to s3 but I will give it a shot. And I feel bad that I think that, but I also think it shondalands job to care about each of their season leads and promote them properly. Why wouldn’t you want each of your seasons to succeed? I hope it doesn’t put me off the shoe because I still care a lot to see Benedict’s season (guessing now it won’t be s4 - Eloise will likely get that spot) and Eloise and Francesca’s (I’d honestly die to see Hyacinths and Gregory’s too!!). I don’t know. I just have some built up bitterness unfortunately.
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hi again
tumblr is lowkey dying, and it has been for a long time, so I don't feel any remorse for making it my online diary. I was thinking of starting a substack, but I want to write actual half-academic essays for it instead of whatever the fuck I write on my diary (analog) or on here. I realized there is a lot of pent-up emotional writing I have kept inside; I might need to get it out of the way before I go onto the big leagues.
Jack is still heavy on my mind. Heavy. I don't know how to shake him off. It's been more than a year since I last saw him and a solid seven months since I last spoke to him. He still dawns on my psyche every now and then. Maybe it's because I'm in Europe and last time I was in this continent I was grieving our relationship heavily. Since he haunted me again with the emails, and proceeded to ghost me (WHO GHOSTS SOMEONE THROUGH EMAIL YOU HAVE TO BE SOME SORT OF UNAWARE SON OF EVIL ?!!), I never really got closure. Writing about the subject will have to keep me afloat from that. I don't know. I'm trying my best. I deleted his number so I cannot ever text him or drunk call him again, but I do still have his substack and his email. If he didn't change it that's it. I got a feeling to go look for his writing and so I saw that he had 3 new entries and they're all pretty mediocre and not in the way that you would usually use mediocre but in the way that Jack would be. He would have a high level of intellectualism but then use it in the laziest way imaginable, translating into a half-assed train of thought neuron to keyboard ineligible 275 words. Disappointing. Whatever. Nat is right, he is not all that! He has a podcast and vapes for fucks sakes! Think!
Anyhow, I was reading his best friend's substack (Cole) and he was saying how-- let me just copy and paste the excerpt. He goes:
"I’d really love to become a famous New York alt-lit author. Move to the big city, go on Red Scare, meet Nick Mullen; but my crippling nicotine addiction is standing in my way. A few days ago I quit vaping, and now I find myself thinking about it every second of every day. I don’t know how I’m supposed to become a famous New York alt-lit author if all I can think about is nicotine instead of writing short fiction about what a very interesting life I live."
This is how I feel about men and it infuriates me how blatant and bland their obstacles can be! I wish my only obstacle would be a stupid little vape! JUST BUY A GODDAMN PATCH AND MAN UP! idk get arrested or go to the army or something! I, on the other hand, have the generational trauma of latina women and the weight of chauvinist society on my shoulders. Plus my daddy not being present is not helping my case whatsoever. The thing is, unlike Cole, I've already quit this whole men-shablam and guess what? they still come back. With more fury and rage than before. You thought the last one treated you bad? just you wait darling! and I'm just supposed to take it because the alternative is to not have sex with any of them and then be haunted by the ghost of previous men who have treated me like shit aka what is going on right now! They won't leave my goddamn brain and I do admit it at least gets me to write, but if all I write and all I have to say is my laments for the male species... then do I have to say anything at all?
I consider myself to be someone quite eloquent, quite intellectual, well-read, and self-actualized. In moments like these though, it is hard to believe such things. I don't know how I'm supposed to become the person I have to be if I'm being held up by men who would hang up on me and don't think I'm even worthy of a reply. He doesn't think I am even worthy of a reply and this is how I repay myself. Instead of being kind and letting go, I transfix and still read his pedestrian personal essays a year later.
Be someone you are proud of. Be someone you respect. You have other men who love you in your life, don't pay mental energy to the ones who don't.
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why is my type so specific AND so antithetical to me
—quiet
—feminine
—kinda oblivious
—cringe and fail
—gentle
—lawful good
—bubbly
—engaging
—passionate
—clingy
—big / crooked teeth
—round face
—prob short
—will scold me for doing stupid shit which makes me want to do it even more because hey!! there’s a bonus level!! and there’s a pretty girl in it that i get to bicker with!!! (“you know that’s illegal, right?” “you know it’s simply a misdemeanor and shouldn’t even be illegal in the first place?” “why are you like this” “why wouldn’t i be” “because i’m not” “apologies your majesty” “shut up” “when i’m dead” “i’ll go with you” “wtf”)
where i’m
—dramatic
—gender-fluid
—has Seen Too Much
—also cringe and fail but a different flavor. more pathetic than when they say something stupid and i start swooning
—“c’mon kid, i’ll teach ya how to throw a punch. bonding”
—chaotic good
—bipolar depression
—“and that’s why beholders are my favorite dungeons and dragons monster hey where are you going”
—also passionate, but i get told i’m too passionate
—too cagey to be clingy
—mostly straight teeth
—head built like a fucking cardboard box
—i’m 5’6”
—i encourage and nurture stupid shit. nothing’s better than just being a shitty teen the way god intended. (“oh my god you failed all your classes?? HIGH FUCKING FIVE, YOU TAKE AFTER ME IM SO PROUD! let’s go to the arcade and play dig dug, you’ve earned it kid. i fucking hate ms. jones’ guts. do me a favor and ‘accidentally’ knock over her coffee next time you walk by her desk, okay?? love youuu”)
i think it’s because i’m such an extreme person that i need someone who is on the other side of the line to keep me in check and put things into perspective.
the problem is that i’m very strong willed and have ridiculously strict morals. i’m also autistic, incredibly emotionally closed off, and so full of trauma that most nights are nightmare nights. so wanting girls that are accepting has its downsides. i’m accepting, i’m loving, i dote on my kiddos, i do everything to support people i care about, but if you wronged them or myself? i hope you choke, actually!! (“oh but second chances” “they hurt people so nope not doing that” “but they were saddd” “yeah me too, and when i had to hurt somebody, i hurt myself. there’s a difference. i actually give a shit about the well-being of others”) emotional trauma sticks with you, especially when you’re convinced that it’s true. you’ll hear those words in your head every day. a busted lip takes a couple of stitches and a few weeks to heal up and prevents them from hurting others. if anything, it’s the right thing to do.
and normal people tend to disagree. so idk man.
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honestly i feel considerably calmer than ever before and have worked through a significant amount of my anger from a very traumatic hand i’ve been dealt. the frequent backhanded rude comments don’t go over my head i just don’t feel the need to correct everyone and spar in public where i do that thing and verbally decimate anyone who dare cross me so it becomes fodder for subtweets the next day or whatever. like i literally don’t care and it’s very liberating. i used to have a lot of hang ups on how i do things my own way and not by the book (which is obviously an outdated manual btw) and like, i haven’t read chocolate war in years but something about traditional comedy scene stuff really reminds me a lot of this cult mentality where if you don’t sell yourself we are all going to gang up on you for daring to refuse to join our aggro traditions, or like WHATEVER that vibe is i have always been very much the person who works quietly on something for months at a time and comes out of my hole to present it and goes back to edit and write new things. this idea that you need to be running the same jokes you wrote x amount of years ago into the ground in order to be considered a Real Comic is so bizarre and far past the expiration date in concept alone. i also just get sensory overload like cannot handle constant stimulation i get very exhausted in rooms full of people it takes a lot out of me and i don’t need to explain myself to someone who thinks they’re being slick by trying to sneak diss me me as loudly as possible in some side convo that i have no desire to pay attention to in the first place. like i’m glad you’re better than me on every level good for you homie idk what you want me to say to that. i can die having done a total of two performances and as long as they were solid and something i’m proud of it’s better to me than a million where i’m just going through the motions like a zombie robot BUT i am sure that’s not everyone’s experience it just feels like it is for me when i try to do literally anything at all the Normal Way. idk what to tell you man i don’t need to assert my dominance over things that are not that serious to me and thank god for that bc a few years ago anyone in the scene would have warned you i would have easily been like yo what the fuck did you just say? which is maybe what people want or have come to expect on some level and it’s like, i’m very anticlimactic in my emotional responses and lashings out i know it’s disappointing sorry!do you want to eat italian and hate on sammi or
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Dear future self... Oct 5, 22
I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, scrolling on my phone avoiding writing. I’ve avoided writing for a few weeks, maybe avoiding isn’t the right word but I keep thinking about how I should write and then I dont. My mind just goes blank, yet leading up to it I think of the 100 things I want to say until I sit infront of my screen wondering what on earth to say.
I still dont know. The last three weeks I’ve felt more emotional than I have in years, to a point where I’m starting to feel like I can’t control my emotions. So much so that last week I actually considering if I should be going back on anxiety medication to even myself out because I just don’t feel like I’m living in my own life. I’m not even on my period, dont get me wrong man I can be a hormonal mess when the time comes but I’m not and yet last friday I couldn’t keep myself from crying. Sunday I cried talking to my mom and tonight I’ve held back tears and my mind has been r-u-n-n-i-n-g. Maybe it’s just the season. I have so much trauma that goes so damn deep this time of year that maybe my anxiety just goes off the charts leading up to this holiday that I just can’t control myself. This is why I keep leaning towards believing I need to just spend this weekend alone. I just honestly can’t remember the last birthday that I was happy or that something didn’t fuck it up, it’s almost like it actually is cursed. Assuming my dad has probably cursed me 100 times on this day.
Last year started okay, I actually thought that maybe I would have an ok year up until I dropped Grayson flat on his face at 4 months old and they had to spend yet another night in the hospital to make sure he was okay. The year before that my marriage was on rocks and my sister joked about wanting to end her life, it was a lot of forcing happiness that day I remember. The year before I recall only a few of the girl friends last minute planning a breakfast to celebrate which I recall being so awkward because it felt so fake. Travis never made anytime stand out and every birthday before my relationship was absolute shit especially my 18th.
Maybe I really do just have way to high of expectations that people want to celebrate me. I mean yes my family, whatever the fuck is left of it wants to but god love my mom I think she knows how much I hate my birthday that she tries too hard and it just feels forced.
I miss my brother so damn much it’s not even funny. I dont expect a message, as I told my mom if anything Amanda will text me on their behalf sending a very lame, light hearted message about how she hopes I have a good day & maybe wishes we were on talking terms but that would be a surprise in itself if she even texts. Honestly I think all I genuinely want for my birthday is for Steven to talk to me, to reconcile our relationship. It absolutely breaks me. He’s been my best friend for my whole life, I recall more good memories of my birthday with him than anyone in my life. He always made a point to spend time with me and make it special somehow, always planned something that he knew would make me happy. That’s literally all I want. I dont want to spend it with anyone, it’s just a constant reminder of how broken my family is and how little I feel important in anyones life because 90% of people over the years aren’t in my life anymore and what for? It’s cute that my mom tells me how great of a friend I am and that anyone would be lucky to have me as a friend but how is it that I’ve been trying so hard to make friends for the last two years and I’m still here today with no girl friends.
Idk. If you ask me on the right day I’ll tell you im happy, because I am for the most part. I’ve come a really long way from a year, two, even four years ago and yah I’m proud of how far I’ve come and what I’ve gone through but I know it’s okay to feel sad and sometimes I just need to feel that. I think I’ve been such a positive thinker, not really allowing myself to dwell in anything negative for a majority of this year which is great but can be unrealistic. Although I can say I am in some cases the most happiest I’ve been in a very long time, there’s still things I wish I could change and that I’m not happy about. That’s life. Can’t always have it all. Because sometimes it really is better to expect the worst or not have any expectations, so you don’t get disappointed.
I guess this hasn’t really been much of an update rather than just an emotional jumble mess.
I guess to recap my life where things are at right now so I can look back on this one day..
-I’m living off 17th with my soon to be old boss’ two sons whom are good friends of mine. That actually going a lot better than I thought. I mean I didn’t think it would be bad, I was a bit nervous about living with Dillon and his peer pressure and not being clean but it’s been good so far. Saying that being only 2 months in so maybe ask me in another 5 months haha.
-I’m still not divorced yet. That’s fun. That was a fun story to re-live again tonight. He, being Richardt, asked me if it bothers me to talk about it, which it doesnt but i think I realize the more I talk about it A the more I feel like it was in a different lifetime and B that I see so many mistakes and how I sometimes I wish I didn’t have that relationship or get married but I guess it taught me more things than I ever imagined. But it’s frustrating how long the process takes, I really do wish I could have just gotten the divorce done but damn rules and thinking people want to get back together within a year, certainly not the case. Still dealing with Vivint and the continual repercussions of Travis royally fucking me over and ruining my credit. It’s funny that Rich made a comment about telling me that I should sue him. If only I had the resources but it’s taken so much of my brain power that it’s just not worth it, even if it’s hurting me 15 months later.
-Yes I mentioned Richardt, I’m dating someone. Weird. Weird to be called a girlfriend again. I speak pretty highly of him but it’s also quite fresh and once again, trying really hard not to get my expectations too high or my excitement because who knows. He makes multiple comments that he wants to spend forever but there’s times I still struggle because he had been alone for so long that he’s so okay with it and I get that it takes a lot to get back into the swing of things and make room for someone else in your life that takes up so much space but man, tonight I realized how dumb I am. I mean I love our deep talks, we talked a lot about my relationship with Trav and he shared some of his fears about comfort and not getting too comfy in one place because things can change, but I also felt way too vulnerable tonight. Here I’ve been debating the last few weeks how much I should really share about my feelings and how I feel a little too deeply and now I regret saying what I did tonight. Idk, I mean maybe I had a very small expectation or hope that he would have said something back of the similar sort but idk, I guess I’ll just say I’d rather not re-live that moment over again.
-I’m changing careers again. I’ve been in construction and restoration my whole life, yes administration but I’ve been with Danny for nearly 5 years, less 10 months of course. For a long time I thought that I would be there for life or at least for a very very long time. I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to work for Ed. Given that I for years and years always wanted to work for him, it’s crazy that the time is here. I remember hoping months back that he would have full time work for me and here I am quitting and starting something totally different, with a lot of responsibility and room for error. It’s terrifying. I’m really scared honestly. I have had so much anxiety lately, more than I’ve had in a couple years but I really am hoping and praying that this is going to change my life for the better and really take me in a completely different direction that I could have never imagined. I was feeling stagnant with Danny. I felt like I hit a ceiling of pay unless I would go to school for something or change positions completely, I felt like there wasn’t really more I could do, take on or achieve. Not to toot my horn but I do two job positions and I have given my heart but it just, it was time. Im excited but I’m scared shitless. I guess well see what my life update is in the future to how I’m doing but I think it’s cool that I can look back on this one day and remember the transition and feelings of how I have no idea what I’m doing but Ed believes in me so let’s giver.
-Have I mentioned I’m still not talking to my brother? Yea. Been the longest time I’ve ever gone. I mean on the flip side, meliss and I keep getting closer than I ever imagined we could which is a real blessing. But I miss spending time with my mom. I used to see her 2-3 times a week and now I’m lucky if I even see her once a week. Life gets too busy I really hate it.
As much as I’m complaining and sad in a majority of this update, I am very appreciative and blessed to have the people I do in my life. I wont take that for granted. Always remembering how far I’ve come. I can’t remember what it was but as we were walking out the door today and Richardt brought up a topic I laughed and said haha there’s a lot more of where that trauma came from and I think it just reminded me of really how much I’ve gone through at only 28 years old.
Oh my dad’s still not in jail yet so that’s a shame. Maybe one day. He really is a piece of shit.
Anyways, my brain hurts and I feel like I’ve gotten a lot of emotion out tonight even though I didn’t give as much of an update as I would have liked to.
Until next time.
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hey bunny bun please please take care of yourself 😤❤️ if u don’t, no kisses for you 🤨
i see that your days have been a lil busy and hectic so I really do hope you’re getting as much rest as you can and answering this after a good rest and some snacks (also your cup of water, drink yo water 🧚🏻♀️)
i wanted to tell you that now I’m starting my own small business!!1! (literally just starting, I’m just making the pieces and when I have like ten or fifteen I’ll start actually selling them) and I’m very very excited about it :3
the money is mostly to keep paying my private korean classes cause they are quite expensive (i did the conversion and it’s like 28 dollars per hour) and I’m supposed to have them twice a week :// my mom was okay with it but honestly it’s like so much money and i have a sister that also has her own stuff that needs payment so I decided to start helping pay them, when I finish some of the pieces I’ll send you some pics so you can see what they are ✋🏻❤️❤️
n e ways, I’ll share another fun fact about me:
i loooove watching stuff, like any stuff (except scary shit like hell noooo) that i find interesting I’ll watch it
documentaries? cool. video essays? awesome movies? the best. shows on netflix? the best way to waste my time. asmr compilations on Instagram or YouTube? sign me the fuck up 😫
my favorite genre of shows are mostly comedy, drama and maybe some romance but like very subtle haha like i love love but only when I read it not so much watch it idk why
some of my favorite shows are: modern family, brooklyn nine nine, glee (it’s like my comfort show and YES i know it’s so problematic but man i grew up with this shit and i love jane lynch so much), the end of the fucking world, arcane, and I just recently watched ‘bunny girl senpai’ (which it’s actually my first anime ever) and it wrecked mE
side note: I also love when stuff makes me cry, like I’m already a sensitive bitch but crying idk I just love suffering I guess idk (emotional pain kink lol) like the harder it makes me cry the better 🤠
what are some of your favorite shows? 🥺
please take care and im sorry If my messages are always long :(( I try to shorten them but I talk a lot and thus I also write a lot 🥴
rest as much as you can and please please please take your time with everything <33
love you and seriously rest 🧸🤎🤎
-🦔 anon
🦔 anon you're so cute i always love reading your asks bby 🥺❤️ i promise i'm taking care of myself, don't worry about me!! <3
and OMG THAT'S AMAZING!!!! i'm so proud of you bby!! i hope your business is successful and your lessons go well!!! :D <3
and pls i totally understand i love watching stuff too!! glee was one of my favorites growing up so i'm definitely not gonna judge you for watching it don't worry 😭😭❤️ my favorite shows are cowboy bebop, derry girls, haikyuu, and freaks and geeks!!! :D but i've lately been rewatching my hero academia, and i forgot how much i love it 😚💞💞
and i love sad stuff too don't worry bestie!! i live for angst </3 please take care of yourself too, okay?? 🥺💞💞💞 i hope you're doing well and i'm sending you all my love mwah mwah mwah <3 love you so so much!!! 😚❤️❤️❤️❤️
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SCREAMS,, HAPPY ONE YEAR CLEAN TO MILA
#💬stfu#SHUT UPPPP#okay it’s actually nothing to be proud of#but i also AM proud of myself because this time last year i was literal rock bottom#like the literal worst i’ve ever been#and looking back i’ve lwky got my shit together now#MAAAAN SHUT UP IM GONNA BE GOING TO UNI#I WOULDVE LAUGHED AT MYSELF IF I TOLD LAST YEAR M:ILA WE WERE STILL IN SCHOOL AND GRADUATING SOON#NOOO I WOULDVE LAUGHED IF I TOLD LAST YEAR M:ILA WE WERE STILL ALIVE IM %+>$*#not to be emotional but like fuck man idk i’m just proud of myself for hanging on this long#it’s been fucking rough for me but like this proves i can fix my life if i actually try %+>$*#yeah i think#delete later this is mad embarrassing#tw drugs#tw suicide
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Under Your Skin (JJK x Reader) | 🔞
Pairing: Tattoo Artist!Goth/Punk!Jeon Jungkook x Secretary!Shy!Reader
Genre: Tattoo artist!AU, Badboy x Sweetgirl AU, Idk what else
Tags/Warnings: Ultimate goodboy Kook, He looks grr but is actually sweet, shy reader, smol reader, Kookers is WHIPPED, Also a tease, Dom!Jungkook because how could I not, Sub!Reader, Babygirl!Reader, Its not heavy on the whole ddlg-stuff but yeah they be having some vibes y'know, don't come @ me don't I'm not forcing you to read it lol, anyways moving on, because smut, yes I mean it's my content, and yall nasty admit it, slight hair pulling, manhandling also only a little, oral (f & m receiving), praising, mentions of emotional and physical insecurities, but Kook be supportive so we good, back to the nasty, body worship yes pls, biting, fingering, because why not, protected sex because we keep it clean in this household, light-hearted sex, kook being a romantic goof, yeah I think thats it?
Summary: Jungkook looks like absolute trouble; like one wrong look could set him off, and turn him into an absolute murderer. But oh well, ever heard the phrase 'Never judge a book by its cover'?
A/N: you might have noticed me only putting one emoji up top. I have decided to from now on only mark my adult fics with emojis (which is basically almost every single one lets be real). Also; stop reading my fucking fics if any of the tagged/warned things make you uncomfortable. I'm tired of everyone clowning in my inbox telling me how disgusting ddlg/smut content is. You can't even tell me you 'read it by accident' because that's why I'm always putting the cut underneath my fics =) so pls go finish preschool and then we can maybe shake hands. Maybe not. Covid and all. Yeah.
On the outside, Jeon Jungkook seems like absolute trouble.
He's working at a tattoo and piercing studio, dresses in all black, clattering chains and heavy boots always alerting everyone around of his presence. His long black hair is never truly tamed, his nails painted black, and his face expressionless most of the time. He's a talented artist and well trained piercer, always visiting conventions to keep up with the newest trends, styles, and equipment there is. He takes his job seriously- and is proud of it, knowing that he had proven his family wrong by now. They had been worried about him; especially his mother had scolded him that he shouldn't throw his time away trying to make it in a world of art many had already failed. But last year, he had finally invited them over to his rather nice apartment, showing them that he was living a good life, with nothing to really worry about.
Jungkook had made it.
Well, not quite.
Because as of currently, Jungkook had a new mission, a new goal.
"Ah, Jungkook!" You say, eyes sparkling as you smile at him when he enters the shop he works at. You had recently started to work there as well, since Taehyung was absolute shit at keeping files in order and track of schedules. You hadn't applied for the job specifically, that's at least what his coworker had told him- he had known you prior already, and was aware that you had wanted a change these days.
And Jungkook had been painfully crushing on you ever since you started.
"Your schedule for the week is already here- I uhm.. didn't put it on your desk cause, I didn't want to intrude your space and all.." You say, giving him a small black booklet where you always noted down his appointments. He appreciated it a lot- knowing how much of a hassle it could be to move dates back and forth just to somehow make it fit. You always made sure that he had enough time in between multiple daily pieces in case something took longer or less so you could make sure to be able to move things accordingly. You didn't want him to get overworked, you had said. He had smiled.
"Thanks- and you can go inside, no problem." He says, and you nod. "I know you don't make a mess, like someone else here." He says, hinting at Namjoon, who was known to be quite clumsy- yet a mastermind when it came to designing pieces he struggled with. Jungkook stayed at your front desk for a bit, making you tilt your head a bit, as you tried not to stare. He always took so much care of himself, you would have had to be blind not to see how attractive he actually was. But then again, you didn't get your hopes up- after all, he was nice to almost everyone around. "You've never been in there, right?" He asks, and you shake your head. You haven't been in his space at all- too scared to invade his privacy and making him upset in the process. "I mean- you got time right now? I can show you around." He casually tells you, and you look at your computer screen in front of you. Everything had been filed for today- so you probably had a bit of time to spare.
"Sure." You said, taking your phone and standing up from your chair, making sure to lock the pc so no one would accidentally make a mess out of your tabs. Or worse; close them. God knows all hell would break loose.
Jungkook had to really force himself not to let out any noise as you walked next to him.
You were so tiny next to him.
He wasn't that tall to be honest- with Namjoon and Taehyung both taller than him, he knew he was average at best. And for the longest time, he'd had a thing for tall girls, all elegant and confident. He still liked their aesthetic, yes- but now that he spotted you, he could really see the appeal of having a shorter significant other.
You were so cute.
You carefully stepped inside when Jungkook lifted the curtain that was used instead of a door, surprised to see how.. organized everything was. A little.. off- some things seemed to be randomly put somewhere, but in general, it seemed like everything had their proper spot. "I like to have it like this." He comments, and you nod your head to that, finally spotting his tattoo-gun. It was made out of purple steel- polished, and changing its hue depending on how you looked at it. It was absolutely beautiful, even though you had a rather limited understanding of these things. "Was a present from Taehyung last year." Jungkook says, sitting down on his chair. "I never asked- are you inked at all?" He asks, leaning backwards as you stand there a little awkwardly. "You can sit down somewhere, don't be so tense." He chuckles, and you look around, before you sit on the stretcher across from him. You shake your head, and Jungkook isn't surprised. Your pink converse sway back and forth as you sit on the stretcher, legs too short to reach the floor anymore as you rest your hands underneath your thighs; hem of your dress revealing more of them than he can usually see.
"I don't have any tattoos yet, but I've been talking to Namjoon about it." You said, and Jungkooks saliva tastes a little bitter at that. He doesn't want to pout or give away that it's bugging him at all that you're not talking to him about it- but he fails miserably. "Namjoon actually said I should talk to you about it, since the style I want fits you best." You say, and he can't hide his smile, bunny teeth on full display as he leans forward a bit.
"You'd let me tattoo you?" He asks, and you shrug, before nodding. "What do you have in Mind?" He instantly asks, not even bothering to hide his excitement.
If only you knew that it's because of you; and not just because he's gonna be the first to ink you.
You've both agreed on a design you want, and Jungkook can't deny that he thinks it's absolutely perfect on you.
"Are you scared?" Jungkook asks you as he prepares everything, his sweater's sleeves rolled up, revealing his own body art to you, as well as some bracelets; one that you recognize as the wooden-bead bracelet you had gifted him last year for his birthday. It was weird to see him wear it.
"I.. no. Just nervous." You say. "I'm worried I might cry and make a fool out of myself." You say with a laugh, and Jungkook chuckles, placing a reassuring and warm hand on your upper arm.
"It's fine. I've seen grown man cry like kids on this stretcher before." He casually says. "Don't worry; I won't think any less of you just because of some tears." He says with a smile, and you nod, turning your head to look at his room's walls instead; covered in drawings, sketches, and pictures of finished works he was most proud of. "Do you want anything to hold onto?" He asks, as he starts to shave the skin of your thigh to make sure he can work as best as possible. He's so into his work, so concentrated on doing everything perfect, that he doesn't even take much into account that you're laying in only your panties and oversized sweater; skirt neatly placed on a chair in the corner of the room, to get it out of the way.
"It's fine" You mumble, although you really want to. So instead you curl your fingers around the fabric of your sweater- something that doesn't go unnoticed by Jungkook, who decides not to comment on it for now. He simply throws the one-time razor away as well as the tissues used to clean your skin, before he carefully places the tracing paper onto where he seems fit.
"I think it would look great right here." He says lowly, carefully removing the paper to reveal the lines he's gonna trace with his gun in a few minutes. "You wanna look at it again?" He asks, and you shake your head. "Alright." He says, before he gets up and walks out his room; only to return with your small squishy and round unicorn plush that's usually sitting on your desk. "To hold onto." He winks, and you chuckle at that.
Jungkook really pays attention.
"So, Taehyung has told me you're a bit younger than me." Jungkook says to start casual chit-chat, trying to help your nervousness as his tattoo-gun starts to buzz to live. "Only a Year if I remember correctly." He says, and you nod.
"Yeah.." You say, and can't hide your dissapoinment flooding your voice. Jungkook, until now, only had relationships with girls older than him. He's even said before that he just likes having someone older than him around- which made you even more nervous around him.
"You sound upset about that." He chuckles, and gently holds onto your thigh as you jump a bit when he first presses the tip of the gun down. "Sorry. I'll be gentle." He lowly tells you, and you swallow.
Not the time Y/N, not the time.
"Uhm.." You say, fingers digging into the squishy plush in your hands. "I.. there's someone I like, but he.. only likes older girls, so.." You say, and Jungkook glances at you. You're already interested in someone? He continues to trace the lines, wiping afterwards to get the excess ink and blood off. "But I mean, then again I don't think I have a chance with him anyways." You chuckle, and Jungkook can't help but shake his head. Even if you're interested in someone else, he shouldn't let you have thoughts like that.
"Highly doubt that." He says. "If he doesn't see you, he's blind." He tells you, and you giggle, glad that he's able to make you feel a bit better about everything. "I'm serious." He says, and you nod at that, watching his inked arm flex every now and then as he draws with absolute concentration; black facemask hiding half of his face. You can see the way his eyebrows furrow, eyes fixated on his work as he moves with absolute routine. "Do I know the guy?" He casually asks, before he dips the tip of his gun in the tiny pot of ink again.
You don't know what to say.
He looks at you for a second, and decides not to dig. "You don't have to tell me. Sorry if I seemed nosy; didn't mean to." He apologizes, and you shake your head to let him know its fine.
It's quiet for a moment afterwards, only the buzzing of his gun and your occasional whine of pain. "Sorry; it'll hurt a bit more now since I'm getting close to your inner thigh- that's always a little more sensitive." He comments, and you really hope he doesn't pay much attention to your panties.
When you can see his eyes stick to them for a second, you really want to just disappear.
He doesn't comment on it though. What is he suppsosed to say? He really doesn't want to make you uncomfortable, and considering that you already have a crush on someone else, he doesn't want to get himself in too deep as well. He simply works away, finally finishing the thin and delicate outlines of your piece- the first step, before he will see you again for color and shading. He finally connects the last line, and doesn't think twice about what he says next.
"Good girl."
It takes a second that feels way too long for the both of you to register the words, and Jungkook quickly occupies himself with turning off his gun and cleaning up your skin and his workspace to get the awkwardness out of his room. You try to instantly stand up, but his palm holds onto your leg- silently ordering you to stay put, which you do. He rubs something over the piece, before he gently lifts your leg to wrap it. "I'll give you a bottle of lotion for it. Leave that bandage on for.. I'd say until tomorrow morning at least. Afterwards, apply the lotion everyday to help it heal properly." He lectures you with a gentle voice, before letting you sit up.
"Thanks." You say, grinning eagerly at the now hidden artwork on your leg. Jungkook chuckles.
"We're not done yet, but I'll take it." He says. "I uh.." He starts, as you jump off the stretcher and go to take on your skirt. "uhm, you up for some fast food?" He asks, a bit hurried, before he can chicken out again. And he hates himself for a moment, because you had literally told him just half an hour before that you already had interest in someone else. But maybe you were too innocent to get his innuendo, maybe you wouldn't get that he was asking you on a date-
"Like a date?" You ask, and he really wants to hit himself.
"I mean, if you want it to be?" He says, swallowing as he averts his gaze, a sight very weird. His hand runs through his hair, chain around his neck and piercings on his ears clattering against each other and making sounds as he moves, his combat boots nervously tapping the floor a little. "It doesn't have to be.. I know you're already-"
"I'd love to." You say however, now fully dressed again, as you grin with your bright sparkling eyes.
And Jungkook feels like he's won the lottery.
It's your third time laying on Jungkooks' stretcher like this- waiting for him to work on your art, finishing it today. But the energy is different.
Things are different between you two in general.
After some casual movie dates and rounds of overwatch, Jungkook had admitted to you that he had a crush. It was rushed, while he was driving, so he didn't have to look at you and instantly get hit by your reaction. But then, you had told him that you felt the same- and the two of you agreed to let things process from then on. Whatever would happen; you would let happen.
And Jungkook was starting to flirt with you.
It was a little weird to get close to him like that. While everyone seeing you two was a little taken aback- with your dresses and skirts, and colorful and almost childish personality, he seemed like the absolute opposite- quiet, all dark and dangerous while carrying your milkshake so you could put your phone away into your purse.
"Alright doll, let's finish this." He said with newfound enthusiasm, winking at you as you laughed at his demeanor.
"You seemed more excited than me!" You say, and he chuckles. "You're really desperate to have me gone?" You say in a playfully upset tone, and he simply huffs out a breath, before cockily looking at you for a second.
"That's not true." He says. "I'd just rather have you laid out somewhere else than in my studio, that's all." He casually says, and you shut your mouth at that, cheeks red as he laughs at your cute display of embarrassment. He routinely prepares your skin, before he starts his gun. "Too much?" He asks, and you know he's not talking about the pressure of his ink filled gun on your skin.
"No-" You start, and he now seriously speaks to you, voice a bit muffled through his facemask.
"Please tell me if I ever make you uncomfortable." He says. "You're not upsetting me if you tell me I'm going to far." He says, and you nod, knowing that he now needs a proper answer. Jungkook is way more attentive and romantic than people may think he is. He's a gentleman pulled out of a dictionary- careful and gentle with you, and always keen on getting to know you for you, and not for the person you like to portray yourself as. He wants to know what you like, what you don't like, what you dream of, and what you hate about yourself.
"Don't worry- I will." You say, watching him work on your skin. "Jungkook?" You ask, and he hums a reply to let you know he's listening. "Is it okay if I sleep?" You ask, and he chuckles.
"Didn't I tell you not to stay up for too long before I left yesterday?" He teasingly retorts back to you, and you pout at him- with no hard feelings behind it. He had left last night after eating with you for dinner at your place; and he did indeed tell you to go to sleep a little earlier since he knew you would have an early shift today, opening up the store. "I'm really tempted to say no." He says, eyes now on your skin again as he dips the tip of his gun in a pot of color. "You know, as punishment for not listening." He mumbles, and you almost don't catch it.
Almost.
"Jungkook?" Taehyung stands in his doorway, finally finding him sitting at his desk. "Oh?" He says in a surprised tone, spotting your sleeping figure on his coworkers lap- head resting against the inside of his shoulder, with your arms around his middle.
"Yeah?" Jungkook asks, not at all shy or fazed by the fact that Taehyung is looking at you. "What is it?" He asks again, as Taehyung smiles, giving the younger man his small booklet that you usually give him every morning.
"Nothing left for today." He said. "Just wanted to tell you good work and send you home." The older one explains, zipping up his own jacket. "Guess she'll be coming with you?" He asks teasingly, but Jungkook doesn't bite the bait at all.
"Yeah. Don't burn the house down while we're gone, you two. " He says, slipping the booklet into his pocket before he pats your back. "Come on doll, let's go home." He tells you, waking you up at least enough to put on your shoes and lead you out the store to his car.
He buckles your seatbelt as the engine comes alive, radio playing its tune softly in the background as he drives you home. "You awake doll?" He asks, and you nod your head, turning towards him with barely open eyes. "You haven't had anything proper to eat today, so I'll make us some ramen at my place, ok?" He asks, and you nod, before your eyebrows scrunch up. "What is it?" He chuckles, and you now grow more awake.
"Wait- but if we eat at yours then you're gonna have to drive me home late." You say, and he shrugs. "Noo, Kook, what if you crash the car because you're sleepy?" You tell him with a whine, genuinely concerned for him, as he has the audacity to laugh. "Kookie, it's not funny I swear to god-!" You say, and he apologizes.
"I mean." He starts, casually dropping what he had wanted to ask you for a couple of weeks now. "You could always just stay over." He tells you, and you look at him, meeting his gaze at the red light he stops at, his head turned towards you for a moment until the lights turn green again.
"We.. would have to stop at mine so I could get some stuff though.." You mumble, and Jungkook looks at you with newfound enthusiasm, setting his turning lights to enter a different road.
It's in a parking lot that you first unintentionally confront him with your biggest insecurities and flaws.
You've tripped over a stray stone you didn't see laying on the ground, leading you to fall onto your hands and scraping your knees open. Just like any normal human being, you dust yourself off, instantly hoping that Jungkook inside the shop hadn't seen you fail at something so basic as walking. You had carried some of the items you two had bought into the car while also returning the shopping cart while he had payed- and by the look on his face, he had definitely seen you.
He wasn't laughing, or hiding his grin, or anything alike. He looked concerned, taking his card back from the cashier before walking out the store, jogging towards you, who sat in the open trunk, ready to get laughed at. Even though somewhere deep in your mind you didn't think he would, past experiences had led to you now having that fear, no matter with whom. "Are you okay?" Jungkook asks, looking at you as he squats down to take a look at your bleeding knees. He reaches into one of the shopping bags, taking out a water bottle and a pack of tissues, before he wets it, one hand holding your leg by the backside of your knee, while the other carefully cleans the small wound. "You gotta be careful Baby." He chuckles a little- nothing like the laughter you had expected.
"I'm fine." You say, not looking up at him.
"It's okay to cry, you know?" He says, and you stay quiet, trying not to breathe too much as you desperately hold them back. "I won't laugh." He promises, deciding not to look at you as to give you a bit more space.
"People will stare though.." You quietly murmur towards him, and he finishes his job, before he goes to throw the now used tissue away in a nearby trashcan. When he returns, he's taking his jacket off, the item way too large on your form as he throws it over you, pulling the hood up as you look at him for the first time since your little accident, eyes sparkling with unshed tears when he pulls the sides of the hood towards him a little. "There." He says, a reassuring smile on his face. "Now no one can see you but me." He tells you. "And I will never, ever, laugh at you." He promises, and pulls your head against his chest, as you start to let go.
He really hates to see you cry- but he's glad that you're letting him in enough to let him see you this way.
Jungkook is frustrated.
He tries not to really show it, because he doesn't want to blow up in your face like that, but then again, you're kind of the reason he feels the way he does. Because even though he thought you both had a genuine connection, you're yet to let him touch you.
And not just hugging and holding hands.
It's not that he's impatient- its because he knows you, at one point, wanted him that way as well. But something happened, something he didn't notice, that made you take ten steps backwards from him. You seemed to be retreating, giving up, and he has no idea what he had done to make you react that way.
As far as he knows, he had done everything right.
But then he sees them; the messages sent back and forth between you and Hana, a returning customer at the shop- well known to flirt with everyone around here. Jungkook himself had actually considered hooking up with her once a year back, simply to make her shut up, but then again, he wasn't into one-night-stands. And she had never truly been his type anyways.
'Ah yeah, just re-schedule that then, I don't mind at all! Just make sure we have enough time together, since we haven't had time to catch up on things recently, if you know what I mean.' She had sent, a week ago; exactly the timeframe you had started to distance yourself. He knew he shouldn't look into it, but then again- this was his business too. He had the right to know.
'Sure? I can give you an appointment at around 4 PM then, so you'll be the last one. Would that be okay with you? Again, sorry for re-scheduling on such short notice.' You had written, and Jungkook can't decide if you had been oblivious to her implication (which was bullshit), or if you were simply too polite to call her out. But it's the next messages that make him fume.
'Again, no troubles. As I said, I only care that its Jungkookie, I don't really trust anyone else with my body that way ;). 4 PM is perfect, you guys still close at around 6 PM right? He's got skilled hands, I'm sure we don't need much more time, if you know what I mean.' she has the audacity to write.
But its your answer that makes him fume.
'Good to know.'
"Jungkook?" You say, looking at the screen, as you suddenly dash forwards, trying to shut the screen off- as if that would make any difference. But he catches your wrist with ease, holding it in his palm as he looks at you.
"Do you think I'm sleeping with her?" He asks, and you try to escape his grasp; and he lets you, staying at your workspace however as he keeps you locked in place with his gaze. "Y/N." He urges, making you look away from him.
"It's none of my business." You say, shrugging. "I.. No, it's-" You start, but he cuts you off.
"No, finish that sentence. 'No' what?" He says, and you've never heard him talk like that.
"I just.. didn't think you'd.. do that." You meekly say, murmuring it as he tilts your head gently upwards to look at him; his face now more relaxed as he softly smiles.
"That's good that you think that way." He tells you. "Because I don't do that at all." He says. "She likes to start drama all the time- was probably bitter I turned her down so much. You know what?" He suddenly says, turning towards the screen as he clicks to change the account, opening his own Inbox as he starts to write an E-Mail.
'Appointment is cancelled, be glad I'm not suing you for defamation. JK.'
"Jungkook-" You say, trying to get him not to send it- but it's already gone. "Why would you do that? Just because I misunderstood?" You whine, and he chuckles, shutting down the system as he looks at the clock, signaling that it's closing time.
"No." He says. "But because I don't want her around anyways, and this gives me a proper reason." He tells you, ruffling your hair as he looks at you. "You coming?" He asks, and you nod, taking your bag and coat before following him out the shop.
In the car, you finally speak up. "Jungkook?" You ask, and he hums out a reply. "Do you.. think I'm attractive?" You ask, and he clears his throat at the unexpected question.
"I- what?" He asks, unsure what you mean.
"Just.. Namjoon said, that he thinks you.. see me as a friend only? Because I'm nothing like the girls you dated before.. If I misunderstood something here then Oh my god-" You start to ramble, and Jungkook laughs suddenly.
"You think I'm not into you?" He asks, and you shrug. "Of course I want to fuck you doll." He casually comments, and you can't help but feel your cheeks redden. "Wait- did you really think I didn't?" He asks, face showing genuine horror as he looks over at you.
"I mean.. you never really initiated anything so I thought.." You started, and he groans out.
Thank god you're staying the night.
"Looks so pretty, does it?" He hums out, palm running over the tattoo on your thigh, delicate lines and well-placed shadings complimenting the colors perfectly. "You know why I love it most?" He starts, hand suddenly gripping the flesh for a moment, before he pulls you closer on his lap by the small of your back. "Because that's mine." He says, before he leans in, placing an open mouthed kiss against your pulse. "The ink that's under your skin, the design, the idea-" He mumbles against your skin. "And the body it's drawn on." You whine at his tone, dark and low, as he urges you back and forth on his clothed thigh- your panties suddenly feeling uncomfortable. "Isn't it like that, baby?" He asks, and you nod, furiously, and he chuckles. "Hm, you seem out of breath baby.." He grins at you, like a predator.
"Jungkook.." You whine, not knowing what you're asking for.
He wordlessly moves, helping you lay down on his bed before he crawls over you, his lips instantly attached to the skin of your neck, hands helping you out of your dress wordlessly, as he can't help but let his gaze linger on your body for a moment. "I can't believe that-" He says, pulling off your overknee socks. "-you'd ever think of yourself anything less than perfect." He says, placing a gentle kiss to the colorful image now forever placed under your skin by his skilled hands. He continues to display his affection over your skin, wandering over your stomach up to your chest, where he playfully bites just above your breast. He struggles with the front of your bra for a second, unsure how to open the undergarment without breaking it, as you help a little; letting them spring free. But only for a moment.
Because in the next, he's got them in his hands, palms gently moving over them, feeling their softness as he groans. "You're so sweet." he comments, as he finally kisses your lips, smile interrupting him every now and then. "So soft." Another kiss. "So delicate." Another one. "And all mine, yeah?" He asks, and you nod, smiling as he grins back, the expression making him look so young and carefree you can't help but wonder how anyone could ever think he's a bad man.
He's anything but.
He's so careful touching you, so delicate in moving his palms over your skin, as if its the most divine thing he's ever felt. He's still smiling, as if in a trance, while he can't stop kissing you. Your hands move into his hair- way softer than you thought it would be, and he groans into your mouth at the feeling of your fingers running over his scalp.
There's no urgency in anything he does.
He slowly moves again, hands opening your legs for him as he sits back on his heels, playfully pulling you closer by the backs of your knees, making you giggle. "You sound so sweet baby." He tells you, innocently, as if he's not currently placing his hand onto your center, ring finger collecting your already leaking wetness before he spreads it, moving his thumb over your most sensitive bundle of nerves while his ring finger enters you slowly. You whine at the feeling, not enough to get you as riled up as you'd like to be. Also; this is the first time you're genuinely experiencing foreplay. You don't know what to do- and Jungkook seems to pick up on that. "You good?" He asks, and you nod.
"I.." You say, breathless as he tilts his head, smile still present on his lips. "What should I do?" You ask, as his eyes widen.
"You?" He wonders, before he stops for a moment. "Don't tell me- this is your first time?" He asks, now genuinely worried he might've gone too fast.
"No.." You admit. "But uhm.. no one's ever, like.. you know, what you're doing.." You say, and that's when it clicks for him.
What kind of guys did you date before him that never gave you any attention like this? He's upset by it, but also weirdly cheered on by that simple fact; it gives him even more reason to make sure you'll get the most out of it. "Ah, I see.." He humms out, letting another finger stretch your entrance for him. "..well, I'm not like that." He explains, before he moves, face now close to your center- and you're unsure what he's going to do. "Trust me." He says, mumbles out, before his tongue places itself flat onto your clit, licking painfully slow as you move your hands over your mouth, trying to keep your noises in. "nuh-uh baby." He scolds, free hand pulling yours away. "Let me hear you." He demands, before he places his mouth back where it was.
Your mind is completely blank at this moment, the only thing you can really concentrate on being Jungkook, working you up so quickly you feel dizzy. It's new, and it's a little weird- but it's more than anything you've ever experienced before. And it brings you towards your end so suddenly you suddenly gasp out, back arching off the mattress as you grab at the sheets below, one hand grasping for Jungkooks, who lets you ride out your high to its fullest. "So pretty." He comments after wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, smiling at your blissed out state.
"Kook-" You say, moving as you sit up, less shy now that your brain is still clouded by pleasure.
"Ah- you don't have to." He tells you, but you shake your head, and he lets you. He slips out of his clothes, finally bare, and you would've taken time to look at all the different pieces of art decorating his body- if it wasn't for his cock, red and ready in front of you. Usually, you would've let your insecurities and doubts get the best of you. But this was Jungkook. And you wanted to really believe that nothing you would do could ever be judged by him. So there was no hesitation as your hands reached out for him, gently moving, before you took him in, your lips wrapping themselves around his tip, before you moved downwards, fitting as much as you comfortably could. Meanwhile, Jungkook himself was steadying himself with one hand on the mattress, while the other was buried into your hair, his own head thrown back as he closed his eyes.
Of course he had fantasized about this every now and then; but he had never thought you'd actually be comfortable doing it. And even if- nothing he could've imagined would've ever compared to the real deal happening. There was something absolutely mindblowing about the way that you handled him, your sweet and pretty presence looking so divine doing such a sinful act with him. He had to pull you off by your hair, gently, because any more, and he would've been a goner. "G-Good god baby." He chuckles, pushing you a bit so you were on your back again, reaching for his bedside table to search for a condom. "I swear to god if I- HAH!" He tells you in victory, hands making quick work of opening the foil package and wrapping the safety over his length. "I swear I would've run out butt naked to buy one if I wouldn't have found this." He says with a grin, making you laugh.
"That's weird." You comment, and he chuckles, entering you slowly as to not hurt you, his breathing labored as he still kept the lighthearted energy going.
"You think?" He asks, and you nod, giggling as your eyes close, the feeling of him filling you up too good to keep them open. "Hm no." He said breathlessly. "Would've probably put on some pants maybe." He says, before he starts thrusting. "Doesn't matter if it means I'd get to fuck you." He says, and you giggle again.
"Kook!" You scold him, and he still continues to thrust into you, exhaling forcefully as he kisses your neck.
"What?" He whines high pitched as if to imitate you.
"Be serious!" You tell him, but can't help your own smile either.
"Oh, why though?" He says. "We're making love, not war baby." He whispers into your ear, and you still laugh at it.
"I can't believe you!" You complain playfully, moaning out when he suddenly thrusts with more force, obscene noises now interrupting you two as he picks up his pace, clenching his jaw.
"And-" He starts. "I can't believe how fucking good you feel." He presses out, hand now reaching between the two of you as he brings you towards an earth-shattering orgasm, making you mewl as you can feel yourself bursting. "Good girl!" He praises, watching as you squirt all over him, his own orgasm hitting him soon after as he grunts out, finally slowing down until he stills completely, his mouth attached to your neck to place gentle kisses and teasing bites near your pulse point.
"I love you." He mumbles out, and your eyes sting.
Because yeah, you love him- you absolutely do, but hearing it from him, hearing it in such an honest and warm-hearted tone, having this final proof of his own feelings towards you, makes you emotional. "Baby, why're you crying?" He chuckles out of breath, wiping your tears as you smile, and finally look at him with glossy eyes.
"Cause I love you too." You say. "So much."
And he can't help but grin at you.
You really are the sweetest thing.
You watch as Hana walks out of Taehyungs studio, arm wrapped up in clear foil as she walks towards your counter, pulling out her purse. "Taehyung agreed on 345." She says, until Taehyung yells another number out of his studio, making her eyes roll. She wasn't supposed to come back- but Taehyung had agreed to finish her piece at least. "Alright, here you go." She says, watching as you counted the money. "Does Jungkook work today?" She asks, and you nod. "I'm just gonna go say hi then. You can finish the receipt yeah?" She says overly sweet, and you're about to tell her that Jungkook doesn't want anyone entering without his permission, but he's already walking out his studio, black sweater and silver necklaces on full display as he walks towards you. "Jungkookie!" Hana exclaims, but her face drops almost chomically as she watches Jungkook walk up behind you, placing a kiss on your bare shoulder as he looks over it onto your screen.
"Oh, looks like I'm done for the day. You need anything Hana?" He asks innocently, one hand on your desk while the other rests on your chair behind your back.
"I- just wanted to apologize for uhm.. the emails. I didn't know you'd read them." She says, and you slowly close all programs, while Jungkooks humms out something.
"Yeah, I figured." He says, before he shakes his head. "As I said, I'm letting it go. No hard feelings." He says, shrugging, before he walks towards his studio again, stopping in his tracks for a second. "Ah, baby, can you text Jin-Hyung and ask him if we can come now? I'm actually starving I swear." He says, and you nod with red cheeks, pulling out your phone.
"Huh." Comes from Hana, as she takes the receipt from you. "I honestly.. would've never thought." She mumbles, before she simply leaves, without any more words.
Yeah. You would've honestly never thought either.
(c)Bonny-Kookoo. Please consider supporting me on Ko-Fi.com/bonnykookoo. Thank you for reading.
#bts imagine#bts#bts fanfic#jungkook imagine#bts fic#bts smut#bts jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook#bts reactions
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