#not that the post was a comparison to dream or anything anyway

[shyanddreamy]

A helping hand

Niragi Suguru x Reader

Summary: Niragi wasn´t at his best moment at high school. Life was unfair with him. But you noticed him. He caught your eye. What happened between you and Niragi was much more than he could ever have imagined in his wildest dreams.

Warnings: soft Niragi, mentions of bullying, violence, smut, fluff and angst (all-in-one because why not), loss of virginity, Niragi being so fucking adorable.

Author´s note: Soooo it´s my first time posting here but I needed to write Niragi´s first time and I know you needed to read it too. English is not my first language so I apologize for any possible mistakes. I really hope you like it. Love u all <3

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Day after day, he was always alone; always in the same chair doing the same things. Exactly two hours after his arrival, he packed up his books and left for fifteen minutes before coming back with a coffee. He seemed to be pretty strict with his routine. Maybe you were a bit gossip because you had spent the last few days observing him until you learnt his schedule too. But what could you do? Studying was too boring; you needed a distraction. And he looked like an interesting one.

So that day, when he left the public library, you decided to follow him. You thought he might be going to a coffee shop, but he just was at the vending machine in the hallway.

"Hello there", you said. The boy turned back, but he looked side to side before paying attention directly to you.

"Are you talking to me?", he asked, puzzled.

"There´s no one else here except you", you answered. "Why do you carry your backpack with you just to take a break in the hallway?"

"I don´t want anyone to… steal my books"

"Cute. Are you a high-school student?", you smiled before asking, but he seemed embarrassed and confused. Anyway, he nodded. "And why don´t you study in your own school?"

"I prefer to be here. Is there any problem?"

"No, of course not. I was just curious", you said. "Do you mind if a sit next to you? I can´t concentrate by my own and you are always studying harder. Maybe I can learn something from you"

"It´s fine, I suppose"

He tried to smile, but it was more like an awkward grimace.

"I´m Y/N, by the way"

"Nice to meet you, Y/N. I´m Niragi"

"It´s my pleasure, Niragi"

Since that day, you changed your favourite desk in the public library to be in the same as Niragi. Most of the time you were just sitting there in completely silence, concentrated in your own notes. He was shy and everyday took him like half hour to get used to your presence. Either social skills were not his thing, or he was not used to interacting with girls.

In the coffee breaks were when you took advantage to know more about him. He was a high school senior and wanted to get good marks so he could go to the university the following year. This was your first year at the university, so you told him all about how your experience was. People, teachers, classes, environment… it was pretty different in comparison with high school, and he seemed hopeful at your description.

Ultimately, studying with Niragi was nice. You found yourself thinking that you even felt like going to the library every afternoon, far from the laziness you felt before. But everything changed the day you saw a bruised on his cheekbone. You noticed he didn´t want to look at you at all since you were sitting in front of him and you assumed that was the reason.

After nearly fifteen minutes of hesitation about what you should do, you grabbed him by the chin and forced his face upwards. He also had traces of dried blood next to his nose.

"What happened to you?"

"It´s nothing", he answered trying to hide behind his own hair.

"It doesn´t look like nothing"

He slapped your hand away from his chin and lowered his face again. It was strange because he has never been so rude before. And before you could say anything, he grabbed his backpack and his books and ran away. You went after him without hesitation after quickly gathering your things too.

"Hey, Niragi!", you called out in the hallway getting him to stop. He had no way of escape. "I didn´t want to bother you"

"I´m sorry. It´s my fault", he apologized, turning slowly towards you with his gaze fixed on his feet and his hands clenched into fists.

"No, it´s not", you answered a bit concerned. Anyway, you tried to sound calm. "Has anyone done this to you? Maybe a classmate?"

"No. It´s nothing", he insisted, but you noticed his weeping eyes. You were pretty sure that you spot on. So carefully, you took his hand between yours to get his attention.

"I know that we have fifteen minutes to get a coffee, but I think that, only for today, we should take a longer break"

"I-I´m not sure"

You smiled cheerfully.

"Trust me"

Niragi followed you tamely, but after ten minutes walking down the street, he started to get nervous. Even more when you entered in an apartment building.

"Where are we going?", he asked to you, but you waited to answer until you were in front of your door.

"To my house", you said while you opened it. "It´s not too much, but I can´t afford any more"

"Do you live on your own?"

"Getting a job while you are at college is not much fun, but it´s better than live with my father, that´s for sure", you explained briefly. "C´mon in. I don´t bite"

However, Niragi was suspicious. While you entered in the kitchen, he sat down in the sofa frowned. It was pretty obvious how uncomfortable he was.

"Why did you bring me here?", he asked you suspicious. "I-I shouldn’t be here. Maybe I´d better leave"

When you returned to the living room, you did so with a packet of frozen vegetables in your hand and interrupted his words.

"I don´t have ice, but it will work too", you sat down next to him and pointed to his bruised. "It seems recent, so cold will help. May I?"

Niragi opened his eyes in surprise, realising that you were trying to lend him a hand. He didn´t seem to be used to anyone helping him. And in a way, it was enough to calm him down a bit.

"Don´t worry. I can do it myself"

"It´s ok. I want to do it for you"

He smiled slightly and finally nodded. You remained silence for a few minutes to make him feel comfy while you took care of his bruise carefully. However, you needed to know what really had happened to him.

"So… do you have any problems at high school?", you asked him prudently, but Niragi was still reluctant to speak. "Stay quiet only helps bullies. It´s not beneficial to you"

"I-It´s nothing new. And I can´t do anything. I tried once, but it only got worse", Niragi mumbled. "I am only a few months away from graduation, I can bear it until then"

In that kind of situations, people used to say that you should talk with a teacher or an adult, but it is easier said than done. And as much as you would like to do something about it, you couldn’t force him to do something he didn´t want to.

"Is there anything I can do to help you?"

"I don´t want to be a nuisance, although, well, I am being one already", he muttered. As nervous as he still was, he dared to look you in the eyes. "Why are you so nice to me?"

"Because you are a nice guy, Niragi", you pointed out, setting aside the packet of frozen vegetables.

"We hardly know each other"

"Yeah, I actually know so little about you because you barely talk about yourself, and yet, I´m sure you deserve much better than this"

Your words were enough to make him blush. Damn, he was adorable. You liked his shyness and how easily he got nervous with little things. But he also was clever and pretty interesting if you give him the opportunity to get comfortable enough to talk openly. High school students weren´t really your type, but Niragi could be the exception.

When you put your hand up to his face, caressing his cheek softly, he seemed confused.

"Have you ever kissed a girl?"

"W-What?", Niragi stammered as he shrugged his shoulders. "W-why do you want to know that?"

"Because I want to kiss you. If you want it too, of course."

He looked even more flustered than usual but, at least, he didn´t turn away from your touch.

"You don´t have to do that out of pity"

"It´s not like that", you assured him. "I do want to kiss you"

"But why would you do that?"

"Because I see you, Niragi. I really see you. And I like all what I see"

"I don´t… understand"

"Maybe one day you will"

You approached a bit more until there were only a few inches between your lips. And still caressing his cheek and his hair, you finally kissed him very softly. His mouth didn’t answer at first, but when you started moving your own lips, he did his best to follow your pace. It was obvious it was his first kiss because of his clumsiness, but you were glad to be his teacher. The only thing you wanted was to give him an excellent first kiss. And when you thought it was enough for the first time, you broke the kiss, adding some distance between both. Niragi kept his eyes closed for a few more seconds before opening them again. You couldn´t help but smile as you saw Niragi blinking repeatedly, still muddled.

"Was it good?"

"Yeah, I guess. No, I mean, of course", he responded helter-skelter, making you laugh.

"See? You are incredibly sweet"

This time, Niragi laughed too. And your heart beat faster when you saw a special shine in his eyes. At that very moment, you realized how much you loved seeing that boy happy. He was so beautiful. And you wanted to protect his kind soul.

"Can we do it again? I know I can do better"

"I will gladly repeat. As many times as you want"

***

By the time you closed the door of your apartment, Niragi had already left his backpack on the floor and was waiting for you to come closer to him.

"Seems like somebody is a bit eager"

"I´m sorry", he said, losing some of the self-confidence he displayed moments before. "I just…"

"I was just teasing you, Niragi"

You walked towards him and stood on tiptoe to get to his lips, wrapping your arms around his neck. He simply placed his hands gently on your waist and followed you to the couch. Niragi plopped down on the sofa and you straddle him. Since your first kiss, you decided to pick up Niragi everyday at the entrance of the library and walked together to your flat instead of staying there. You studied too but also had free time for you. You had started thinking that Niragi was trying to become a total expert in the whole kissing thing.

"Has been a good day at school?"

"Yeah, cool. Better now I´m here"

"I´m talking seriously, Niragi", you insisted, placing your hands on his chest to be able to look at him. "I want to be sure that you are alright"

"I know. And I appreciate it. But everything´s fine, Y/N"

"Well, I´m gonna try to believe you"

You continued kissing each other for a few. Your tongues were tangled and your saliva mixed. Niragi was a quick learner. When you bit his lower lip, he dug his fingers into your hips unconsciously.

"Do you want… more?"

"What do you mean?", he asked you in return, slightly frowned.

"I´m pretty sure you know what I mean. I can feel the bulge in your pants"

His face suddenly flushed and his hands left your body. Niragi even tried to push you into the sofa, embarrassed, but you reminded on top of him.

"I-I´m sorry. I-I didn´t want to make you feel uncomfortable"

"There´s nothing to be ashamed of. Actually, I would be offended if your body didn´t react in this way", you joked, but Niragi was still amazed. "And if you want it, I´m ready to move to the next level"

"I don´t know if I´m… I mean, I don´t know what to do"

"I know you are unexperienced, Niragi, but it´s not a problem for me. I can guide you", you assured to him. "However, you have to be sure that you really want to do it"

"I want to do it, I guess"

"You guess?", you repeated after him. Niragi was so insecure that he could start trembling at any time, so you decided to lend him a helping hand. "We can go ahead and, if you regret it or feel uncomfortable, we can stop whenever you want"

Niragi hesitated for a few seconds before nodding almost imperceptibly.

"Yeah, good. I like how it sounds", he said in a tone of voice so low that it was difficult to hear.

You started kissing him again slowly to restore his confidence, but this time, it didn´t take you long until you moved your lips to his neck. You felt honoured to hear his low moans as you kissed that sensitive part of his body and guided his hands to your hips again. 

"Can I unbutton your shirt?", you asked him gently.

"Yes, it´s fine"

You did it one by one, and when it was done, you left his neck to take care of his bared chest. It was pretty sad to discover some bruises there too. Niragi tensed up as he noticed your gaze on them.

"There are not recent", he promised you in a hurry. Instead of answering, you took off your own shirt and showed him the scar near your shoulder.

"This is from the last day I saw my father", you explained to his visibly puzzled grimace. "I used to have some bruises too, but they will disappear and, eventually, you will heal. People who hurt you can´t control your life. You have so many wonderful things to live, Niragi. And those assholes can´t destroy you"

Words were not coming out of his mouth. He was completely focused on your scar. And without doubting, he came up to kiss it gently. You gasped and entangled your fingers in his hair, letting him freedom to continue kissing your skin and your neck. He was trying to copy what you have done on him before. God, you wanted to go step by step, but you also needed him so bad.

"Should we go to my bedroom?"

"Yeah, I would like that"

In the living room, Niragi was more secure about it than he was when he saw the bed in front of him. He even gulped nervously, so you take his hand gently and guided him to sit on one side of the bed. You stayed upright caressing his hair.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes"

"Do you want me to stop? We don’t have to rush things"

"No. I´m sure. I want to do this", he nodded. "I want to do it with you, Y/N"

"Okay then"

You took off his shirt and caressed his chest, arms and back. The tingling of your fingertips gave him goosebumps. All these sensations were completely new to him.

Then, you got on your knees and put your hands on his trousers. Before getting rid of them, you gave him a glance waiting to his consent. And Niragi nodded again. Once done, you got back on your feet and guided his fingers to your own pants, encouraging him to do something besides staring at you. And with just your underwear, he lay back as you climbed in top of him.

"Don’t look at me like I scare you"

"You don´t", he assured you. "I´m just nervous. I don’t want to disappoint you"

"Get that idea out of your head because there is no way you can disappoint me. If I see you are enjoying it, I´m going to do it too"

You both kissed for a while as your hands explored each other’s body. Niragi was so shy at first but ended grabbing your breast firmly. His breathing got heavier in the moment you stroked his crotch. You got rid of your underwear and continued moving your hand up and down his length a few times. He already was completely hard and pre-cum was shining in his tip.

"How could you keep this secret away from me?"

"What are you talking about?", he asked to you but got puzzled by your naughty smile.

"I´m talking about what you hid under your pants. You are huge"

And immediately, Niragi was blush again. A pride and subtle smile appeared on his face even so. Maybe it was the first time you saw him being proud of something about himself. After the sex, you might teach him what else he should be proud of besides his dick.

"You meaning it?"

"Yeah, I´m just telling you the truth", you said. And when you rubbed his tip against your wetness, Niragi moaned. It was time. "Are you ready? For sure?"

"Yes, I am"

"Can you see right without your glasses?"

"Yes, for sure. I forgot about them", he said before taking them off and leaving them on the night table.

"And do you want to switch positions or something?"

"I´m good here", he answered. "And you look so pretty up there"

You smiled tenderly.

"You are the sweetest boy I ever met, Niragi"

You kissed him one more time before burring yourself in his length inch by inch. Niragi opened his mouth widely as he chocked a moan in his throat. Feeling himself completely inside of you was much more than what he could afford; the sensation was more amazing than he could have ever imagined. That´s why you gave him a few seconds to recover.

"Are you alright?"

"I have never been better"

"I´m glad to hear that"

You started moving your hips up and down slowly. His sonorous moans were music to your ears. And as you speeded up the pace, you ended up moaning too. You had wanted this since your first kiss and it was so pleasant it finally happened. His hands clung to your thighs at the same time you descended to taste his lips again. Niragi could barely kiss you back, but he did his best. Nevertheless, after a few minutes, you felt his muscles tightening. You knew what that meant.

"I-I think… I am…", he scarcely could talk.

"I know. And it´s okay. I really want to see you cumming, babe"

You caressed his hair and his chest as you quickened your pace as much as you could. Niragi looked directly into your eyes, the pleasure burning in his gaze and his moans filling the room. God, he was even cuter when he was such a mess.

"I love you, Y/N", he confessed in a gasp. "Damn, I…"

A louder moan prevented him from continuing to speak. As he cum, you stopped the movement of your hips gradually. And shortly afterwards, you moved from the top of Niragi to lay back in the bed next to him. You still caressed his chest with your fingertips, smiling as you observe his desperate attempts to catch his breath.

"Was it good?"

"Was even better. Better than anything", he answered, slowly turning his face to you with an exhausted smile. However, it didn't take long for him to change it to a worried grimace. "I have finished too fast, right?"

"It´s your first time. It´s normal"

"I´m sorry"

"Don’t apologize, dumbass", you refuted. "It has been great. I promise. And practice makes perfect"

You hugged him by the waist and left a warm kiss in his shoulder.

"So… that means we can repeat it some time?", he asked, paused.

"I would like to. But you have had enough for today", you concluded before sitting up in the bed.  Instantly you opened your arms and nodded your head at him, telling him without words to come closer to you. "Sex is amazing but cuddling after sex is stunning too"

Although a bit reluctant, Niragi decided to accept your offer and put his head over your bared chest. His arms slowly moved until he was hugged to your body and, a pair of minutes later, Niragi took a big breath of air and let it out slowly. You continued caressing his hair and his back, hoping he didn´t fall asleep.

"You were right. It feels good too", he mumbled.

"I know, baby"

His hands clutched at your body with need, as if he never wanted to let you go again.

"You are the best thing in my life, Y/N. No one has ever cared about me as much as you do"

"Is that why you said that you loved me before?"

Niragi gulped on account of your words. Probably he was trying to make like if that never happened, but it did.

"I´m sorry"

"Stop apologizing"

"But I have to. It has been out of place. I was feeling so many things a-and I said it out loud, but I´m sorry"

"I´m not annoyed", you assured. "But I need you to understand that I don´t feel the same. At least not yet. Right now, I love you as a friend; falling in love takes time"

"I get it", he said, but you noticed a slightly disillusionment in is his voice.

"However… it´s also true that you are the only person who has captured my interest in a long time. So, it´s possible that it means something"

Niragi didn´t believe that anyone could ever notice him. He thought that everyone despised him; that he deserved all the hate he got; that he was only a piece of trash. And he believed that all was his fault for being born twisted. But you had proved him wrong; you had shown him the love he never had. And Niragi could never wish for more.

"Like you said before… We don´t have to rush things", he murmured tentatively.

"Yeah, I agree"

***

Your day was being a complete disaster. You had a mentoring early at the morning, but it took longer than you expected and you were late for work. As a result, you had left later too and, by the time you arrived to the entrance of the public library, Niragi should have been waiting for you for more than half an hour. As you noticed that he wasn´t waiting for you sitting in the stairs, a group of teenagers a few meters away caught your eye.

"So, you were hiding from us, huh?", one of them laughed.

"I told you he was here, guys", another said.

"You don´t want to spend some quality time with us after classes? We always have so much fun, don´t you think, Niragi?"

It took you a few seconds to realize that one of them had Niragi by the shoulders. He was clearly uncomfortable and these five boys would be his classmates; his bullies. They turned down the street into an alleyway and you didn´t hesitate before following them. They were too busy pushing a terrified Niragi against the wall to notice you until you raised your voice.

"Here you are, guys! It´s so nice to finally have the opportunity to meet you"

Five pairs of eyes were on you at once. They looked confused, but Niragi quickly recognised you.

"Y/N, it´s fine. You should go", he made an effort to keep his voice from trembling.

Or he didn´t want you to see what they were going to do to him, or he was afraid that they might do something to you as well.

"Do you know who she is? It´s your girlfriend or something?", one of them asked him, moody. The only thing that stood out about him was his bright yellow t-shirt.

"Huh? How is this freak going to be dating such a beautiful girl?", another answered, walking towards you with a cocky smile on his face. "Is there any problem, sweetie? I can help you with whatever you need"

"So nice of you to ask", you smiled too. "The truth is that my day has been awful, but I´m so lucky that you are here to make it better"

Before he could say anything, you punched him straight in the nose, making him cry out in pain as the blood began to flow. Suddenly, you kneed him in the crotch and grabbed him by the hair before he could even react.

"I assume that you, dickhead, are the leader of this deplorable gang", you said near his face. "And I am the person you should have never crossed paths with"

"You crazy bitch. I´m gonna…"

You pulled his hair harder, forcing him to shut up.

"What are you gonna do, huh?", you asked, but didn´t obtain any answer. Then you took something out of your pocket and pressed it again that boy´s crotch. His eyes widened, frightened. "Yeah, you are right, it´s a knife. So you should listen to me carefully. If I ever see Niragi again with another bruise, I´m gonna cut your disgusting little dick before you could use it at least once in your entire pathetic life"

You saw the fear reflected in his face. He was terrified. You even thought that he could pee his pants any moment.

"Have you understood what I said?"

"Yes"

"Louder! Have you understood?!"

"Yes! Yes! I promise! I won´t do it again!"

You let him go with a shove moments later. And when you put your sight in the other four kids, they seemed to be petrified.

"The threat goes to all of you", you warned them. "Does anyone have anything else to say?"

Three of them bowed their heads submissively, but the one in the yellow shirt was reluctant yet.

"There are four of us and he is just a girl. We can handle her", he told to his friends, seeking their support.

"Planning to assault a girl in group. So brave, sweetie", you answered, smiling tenderly. "Anyways, I´m going to be nice and warn you that, before entering in this alleyway, I have called the police. I told them that five guys were following me down the street and I was so freaking scared. I suppose that, if they catch you, they won´t be as kind as I am being with you"

"You have kicked one of us! And threatened us!", he shouted. "I am the one who is going to report you to the police"

"It´s your word against mine; an innocent pretty little lady vs five good-for-nothing jerks. Are you sure that they are going to believe you?"

"I can´t go to jail. I´m too young", one of them complained.

"Me too. We should run"

"Maybe we can hide before police came here"

"Finally one of you says something coherent", you commented.

Moments later, without even bothering to say goodbye, they started running out of the alleyway, helping his injured leader to run as fast as them.

"Nice to meet you, guys! You were right, it has been a lot of fun with you all!", you shouted, hoping they could still hear you.

Only when you saw them turning the street, you paid attention to the person who had been in the background all this time. You were alone with Niragi, who was looking at you like if he didn´t know you. He seemed unable to process what had just happened.

"Have I gone too far with them?"

"What the… What have you done?", he finally asked, bewildered.

"I´m sorry. Maybe I should have asked you before doing anything by my own"

"You have threatened them with cutting his…", Niragi couldn't even finish the sentence. "Why do you have a knife?"

"It´s not a knife. It´s a comb. A pocket´s comb", you said, opening and showing it to Niragi. "But that moron was too scared to look at it. And I have sound pretty convincing"

And just like that, after a few seconds of absolute silence, Niragi did something you didn´t expected: he laughed. He laughed so hard he had to lean against the wall. You let him let it all out until, just a few minutes later, he managed to calm himself down.  You've never seen him laughing like this before. And the truth is, it was a bit strange.

"Are you feeling well?"

"Are you kidding me? It has been incredible! I´m feeling more than well", he assured you. "But, what about the police?"

"It was a lie too," you answered. "I knew they would be such cowards"

You went to your house like you supposed to do before the incident happened. Sitting on the sofa with a soda everything seemed better, but Niragi still had too many questions in his mind. He was amazed.

"They were terrified", he smiled, but his gaze soon fell upon you. "I didn´t knew you could be so… I don´t know. I couldn´t imagine you like that"

"Now you know. I guess that´s what happens when life isn´t fair with you. You learn some tricks", you mumbled. "If nobody is there for you, you must become your own saviour. And when you have so much hate inside, your soul gets dark and rotten. That’s why I wanted to protect you before yours was too broken"

"But I don´t want you to protect me, Y/N. I want to be like you. I don´t want anyone to be able to hurt me again"

Niragi was freaking out; seemed astounded. You have never seen him like that, so full of life. You could see it in his eyes; maybe you were too late to save his kind soul. Maybe it wasn´t so kind since the beginning.

"You have enjoyed it. You didn´t just want them to stop; you wanted to fight back, to make them suffer"

Niragi bowed his head as if he were ashamed of his own thoughts. Or maybe he wasn´t ashamed of his mind at all, he only didn´t want anyone to discover all the dark things that were on it.

"There's no reason for you to lie to me. I had tried to prevent you from seeing that part of me because I didn´t want to lose you. I know I´m not a good person, Niragi, but I have no regrets about the way I am", you confessed. "And back there, in the alleyway, when your classmates left and you were looking at me, I have noticed the bulge in your pants. The situation has turned you on"

Niragi flushed and his knuckles turned white from clenching his fists in his lap.

"I can´t say out loud what´s on my mind. I´m twisted. A disgusting freak"

"Society may reject people like us. People who are so fucked up inside that only want to see the world burn. But you can be genuine with me. No matter what you say or what you do, I will never run away from you. Your dark side doesn´t scare me, Suguru"

Niragi´s eyes were wet. He always had thought that he will always be alone, but he saw a part of himself reflected on you. For the first time in his lifetime, he had been lucky to have your paths cross. And without hesitation, Niragi hugged you vehemently and you hugged him back trying to comfort him.

"Don´t ever leave me, Y/N. Please, don´t go"

"I won´t. I promise"

You felt his tears in your cheek and you held him tighter, but you allowed him to let it all out by crying. Sometimes people just needed to have someone by their side; someone to love them no matter what, despite their shortcomings. And from now on, you were going to be there for Niragi just as he was going to be there for you. Neither of you would ever be alone again.

#niragi suguru #suguru niragi #niragi alice in borderland #alice in borderland #dori sakurada #niragi #niragi x reader #aib niragi #niragi smut

[zootopiathingz]

Genuine question: Why do you ship Radiobelle? I've seen a lot of people doing it, and I'm curious as to what the appeal is!

The real question is, why do people ship anything? Why do we all see two or sometimes more characters interact with each other and imagine how cool it would be if they both had deep-seated romantic feelings for the other?

Answer: cuz we can!😌

Idk about the rest of you, but I don’t exactly have much control over what I ship and don’t ship😅 I just see the characters together and my brain randomly decides either “yes I want them to make out” or “nooo I don’t really see it”. (I am in no way a pro shipper though cuz no)

But as for Radiobelle specifically, there’s just something about them that my silly fangirl heart can’t resist. While I am fairly new to the HH fandom, I did watch the pilot around the time it came out and a small part of me did ship them back then. But I never really allowed myself to indulge in it and I just wasn’t that into the show anyway so I didn’t bother. Now, after actually watching the episodes and engaging in fandom content, I finally embraced the cringe to the full extent and let myself be consumed by the radio demon and his charming demon belle! :P

Now I’m aware that the majority of people don’t like Radiobelle, or even full-on hate it for multiple reasons. Sure, whatever. You don’t have to like every ship, nor does anyone expect you to! I can understand it’s not for everybody. The main thing that bugs me, though, is when people try to start arguments about why it’ll never be canon and why you shouldn’t ship it. “Charlie is with Vaggie and Alastor is aro/ace!” People ship Alastor with a multitude of other characters and nobody bats an eye,, why is it only when you see him being drawn with Charlie that you lose your shit and get offended about his sexuality being ‘erased’? (That’s a topic for a whole other post tbh). And people can ship Charlie with other people. Hell, they DO! I’ve seen numerous art of her and other characters.

Then there’s also the “Alastor thinks of her as his daughter!” See, I want everybody to actually watch episode 5 again and come back to me on this. No, he fucking does not. The only reason he was saying any of that was to get under Lucifer’s skin. That’s it. That was his whole intention. He doesn’t like Lucifer and wanted to rub it in his face that he has been a lousy father to his daughter, in comparison to all the ways he has helped her, with the hotel and whatever else.

Phew, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way! Onto why Radiobelle has stolen my heart!

I just love their dynamic and it all really started with the pilot. Alastor—this mysterious force of nature who can kill anyone and anything, is capable of unimaginable power and torture—randomly showing up on the doorstep of a hotel to help out. And literally no one else trusts him (reasonably so) but Charlie, the good-hearted soul she is, lets him in. She’s cautious, of course, but she’s giving him the chance to do some good because that’s what her dream is all about!

Now while I do wish they had some more interactions in the actual show, what we have so far is scrumptious✨ Alastor may have been giving an abundance of praise to Charlie to piss off her dad, but I don’t think he was lying. Deep down I’m sure he is enjoying the time they’ve spent together—even if he doesn’t fully realize it. Charlie defends Al’s sadistic behavior to her dad because he was doing it to defend the hotel (and bc he’s a cocky mf lol but it’s endearing to her in a way).

Oh and don’t even get me STARTED on episode 7 bro,, omfg the content!! The way he’s extra touchy with her even after they’ve made their deal. Her being nervous and stressed out but he encourages her anyway and verbally admits that he had faith in her the whole time. Him giving her his microphone—which is likely the main source of his power as shown in episode 8 (where he let her use his mic AGAIN!!!) which just shows how much he actually trusts her,, UGH it’s just 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻 give me more!!

Now, do I expect Radiobelle to become canon? No. Would it be fucking awesome if it did? Oh absolutely. But I know it won’t, and I don’t care! I’m having the time of my life shipping these two hell-dwelling idiots and I don’t care what anyone says about it!😋

#gotta love the ‘I can fix him’ ‘I can make her worse’ dynamic they got going on #anyway shout out to my fellow radiobelle shippers✌🏻 #we have impeccable taste and we know it #and uh sorry if this rant comes across as me being petty or rude #I really wasnt. I was just stating facts lol #long post #radiobelle #charlastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel ship #charlie morningstar #alastor the radio demon #asks #anon ask #lady luxo asks

[aikastugeek]

Ok so idk how long this is gonna be and I'm gonna try to keep it as coherent and concise as possible. SALTBURN IS NOT A CLASS COMMENTARY MOVIE, IT IS A MOVIE ABOUT YEARNING AND DESIRE. I don't know how many times I have to say this but it seems that the biggest problem that people have with the movie is that it's a terrible class commentary and has nothing real to say about it. And I would totally agree if that's what the movie was about. I've often seen people compare it to Parasite which is crazy to me. While in a general sense it has a similar premise to parasite (an amazing movie that deserves all its awards) because it has to do with someone worming their way into a rich family the comparisons stop there. Noting that Oliver himself has enough money to go to Oxford without a scholarship I think it's safe to say he didn't need their money. Oliver never cared about the house until he killed Felix. He started trying to get close to felix even before he knew about saltburn. When Felix was introducing the house to us and we see it through Oliver's eyes we are only focusing on Felix and nothing else. And while yes the Catton family is super rich that's a part of the dream that is Felix. He's super tall, super handsome, super nice, and super rich. He is everything anyone would ever want that's why he's so shiny so from any perspective we can understand why Oliver would want to be around him and mixed with his obviously obsessive nature of course he's gonna do anything to win Felix. Until Felix died there wasn't a real emphasis on the house itself just how grand it is but we don't see the happy montage in the house it's outside. And Oliver ingesting the fluids of the family is supposed to show just how far he's willing to go what he's willing to do just to be around Felix. And most importantly Oliver is shown to be a hella unreliable narrator so you can't exactly believe him when he says that this was all some master plan of his I mean he's not even telling the story to anybody. Elspeth probably can not hear him he's talking to himself because that's who he's trying to convince. He's trying to convince himself that killing Felix was all part of some plan to get saltburn because of his massive regret. After Felix's death he's seen sobbing in the church and sobbing on his grave wanting to be as close as possible to his lost love. And even when he says he hated Felix the montages that we see is not him being menacing or Felix being terrible it's Oliver weeping whenever he felt pushed away from Felix. And this misinterpretation bothers me so much because it messes with what the movie's about. It's not a commentary, or a story with a sweeping moral it's pure entertainment and hedonism. And this sort of misinterpretation paints the creator in a bad light because everyone is going around saying she can't write because people didn't understand the point of the story she wrote. I've watched many interviews of her talking about the movie and you can with even just one interview that she never meant it to be a class commentary but people will never give women the benefit of the doubt. But anyway that's all, I could really make a whole long ass essay about the misinterpretation of saltburn but I'll leave it as a long post and go.

#so many people are so wrong about saltburn it makes my blood boil #emerald fennel is a genius idc #saltburn #saltburn movie #felix catton #oliver quick #farleigh start #venetia catton #elspeth catton #jacob elordi #barry keoghan

[deanmarywinchester]

previous years: 2022, 2021 / list of worst sf/f/horror

the bangers were BANGING this year, I kept mentally readjusting my top 5 list every time I read something good so the honorable mentions are extremely honorable this year. I hope you read anything that sounds good from this list and tell me about it!

top 5:

chain gang all stars by nana kwame adjei-brenyah: when I say that this book is like the hunger games for adults, I’m not making a glib comparison between two books about fighting to the death, I’m saying that I haven’t felt so intensely about a book since I stayed up late to tear through the hunger games and sob about it when I was thirteen. this book is satire as real and devastating as I’ve ever read, with action scenes that feel like they’re being dripped directly into my hindbrain and a unique and believable love story. put it on hold at your library literally RIGHT now.

the actual star by monica byrne: about a post-climate catastrophe utopian society built around a religion started by a teenage girl in 2012 based on mayan traditions, and also about the teenage girl, and also about the maya. this book made me crazy because the future society felt real enough to touch, with its radical openness and collectivity solving problems that exist today but causing new ones that are totally novel and meaty and interesting to dig into. read it if you’re interested in different ways of being.

the spear cuts through water by simon jiménez: really, REALLY good, fresh, original epic fantasy. jimenez picks a few perspectives to stick to but hops fluidly into bystanders’ brains to give you their perspectives, so even background characters feel fleshed-out and no one’s pain is dismissed as a side effect of heroic battles or whatever. highly recommended if you like framing narratives and stories about stories, and like epic fantasy but wish it wasn’t mostly about finding acceptable enemies to slaughter with cool swords

the dispossessed by ursula k. le guin: I love how much this book is about hope as clear-eyed commitment to the boring and difficult work of a brighter and necessary future. sometimes the work of the glorious anarcho-communist revolution is leaving your university post and romantic partner for months at a time to dig irrigation ditches so nobody starves when there’s a drought. read this book for diplomatic conniving, a clash of values between a capitalist planet and its dissident moon, and hope.

imperial radch trilogy and its spinoffs by ann leckie: what if you were built to be a weapon of the empire, a serene sentient battleship with thousands of human bodies all containing your consciousness, and you lost all bodies but one and had to figure out how to be a person, singular and alone? what if you were a 19th century british military officer and you slept for a thousand years into the decline of the empire? what if you were grown in a vat to be a facsimile of human and then told off for eating all your siblings even though eating them was SO interesting? what then. leckie’s prose is incisive and funny, her unreliable narrators are wonderful, and her stories are intimate even though the backdrops are insanely huge. 👍.

honorable mentions:

house of leaves by mark z. danielewski: guys? anyone hearda this one? anyway. Something Is Wrong With This House horror with themes of storytelling and grief. recommending that you slam this book as fast as possible like I did so you can hold all its layers in your head at once.

the lathe of heaven by ursula k le guin: i thought I didn’t like ursula k le guin, and then I read this book, went OH and immediately devoured the hainish cycle. im so sorry miss ursula. this book about a hapless pacific northwesterner whose therapist is making him dream different realities into being is so sharp and sly and funny. themes of choices, ends and means.

he who drowned the world by shelley parker-chan: I liked the prequel to this addition to the radiant emperor duology. I LOVED this book. parker-chan has invented new and exciting modes of fucked-up codependency and im obsessed. historical light-fantasy with themes of ideals vs what it takes to reach them, gender, and regret.

babel by r. f. kuang: found the didacticism of this book annoying, but i really loved the concept of this novel and the way it slowly ratchets up the stakes. this novel is for people who want to smash the fun of the magic school genre against the reality of universities’ complicity in the imperial machine.

piranesi by susannah clarke: im late to this book but it’s such a weird little gem. peaceful yet unsettling. a man takes care of an endless house with an ocean inside it until he realizes the house is stealing his memories. themes of memory and devotion.

hell follows with us by andrew joseph white: I can only read YA these days if it’s a reread or if it’s genuinely good and really really strange. this is that. weird gory fantasy about a trans teen who escapes his militarized post-apocalyptic christian cult and finds himself turning into something Different. my only gripe is that he uses 2023-perfect language to describe transness and I think he should be inventing genders weve never even thought of. such is YA.

some desperate glory by emily tesch: a rolickin’ good space opera time with terrible women <3. a thriller about how the golden child of her isolated human-supremacist space station cult deprograms and the consequences of it. this feels like a grown-up SPOP until the theoretical physics gets involved. big fan

the library of mount char by scott hawkins: this book is harrow the ninth in suburbia until it becomes a more macabre version of the absurdity of the gomens apocalypse. God raises his children, sometimes brutally, to hone their powers in a neighborhood that mysteriously keeps out outsiders. came for the dysfunctional mess of the god-children and now I can never look at a grill the same way

runners up:

bunny by mona awad: books that make you WISH you were in mona awad’s MFA program where she must have been having a terrible time. the weird one out in an MFA program accepts overtures into the unbearable rich-girls’ clique to find out what they’re Up To. themes of aimlessness and the intersection of class with the art world

camp damascus by chuck tingle: have you ever wished that you were simply too autistic to be successfully demonically brainwashed into not having gay thoughts? horror-flavored thriller that was just fun

light from uncommon stars by ryka aoki: this author put a bunch of genres in a blender and came up with something fun and surprisingly cozy. an immortal woman must sell violinists’ souls to the devil in exchange for their fame, or he’ll drag her to damnation instead. there might be aliens and coffeeshop romance involved. definitely a blender.

the fragile threads of power by v. e. schwab: if you haven’t read a darker shade of magic and you like tightly paced high fantasy and historical fantasy elements, political intrigue, and pirates, read that first. if you have, there’s more now! lila bard are you free on thursday when I am free

the library of the dead & our lady of mysterious ailments by t. l. huchu: a teenage girl provides for her family in soft-apocalypse magic edinburgh with a job carrying messages from ghosts to their living relatives. an ongoing mystery series about the intrigues she uncovers among the dead.

severance by ling ma: this books is on the list of media that is the terror to me: it's about an apocalyptic disease that makes people reenact their routines mindlessly until they collapse. intimate apocalypse novel with themes of late capitalist malaise.

ocean’s echo by everina maxwell: i didn't really like winter's orbit because i'm just not a romance guy, but this second novel stands alone and the romance is more insane and less of the entire point of the novel. (also it's between essentially Discworld's Carrot and Moist Von Lipwig, which is. really something.) in the Space Military, a buttoned-up mind controller must pretend to bend a socialite with illegal mind-reading powers to his will. what if fake relationship but the relationship they have to fake is "brain linked master/servant pair."

the murderbot diaries by martha wells: novellas about a misanthropic security android who jailbroke itself in order to watch tv. the name "murderbot" is a joke but it very much did kill people <3 themes of paranoia and outsiderhood, corporate wrongdoing, repentance, and trust

black water sister by zen cho: zen cho is good at any kind of fantasy she writes, including this, her first modern fantasy novel. a closeted lesbian has to move in with her family in malaysia after college in the US, only to discover that her dead grandmother has some unfinished business involving a local goddess and a conniving real estate developer. themes of family, gender, and place.

the way inn by will wiles: a man who’s paid to pretend he’s other people to attend conferences in their place gets trapped in an endless Marriott. has the sharp humor of a colson whitehead corporate satire until it becomes more straightforwardly horror-flavored.

#yearly book roundup #reading tag #my posts #it was a good year for my like. ideological and political development and im so serious that some of these books helped almost as much as #the nonfiction i read #reading about totally different and new ways of structuring society and morality are an antidote against knee-jerk reactionary thinking #like. 'life doesnt work like that' okay but what if we could make life work like that? what would it take? why does life work like THIS now #you know. anyway stream the dispossessed and the actual star especially

[wordsinhaled]

because i had to watch the 1389 scene over and over again yesterday i’m now totally convinced we haven’t talked about it enough in comparison to the 1789 and 1889 scenes (understandably because those scenes are gold) so... i’m gonna ramble now i guess! pardon any incoherence lmao

just... my sleep-deprived brain is losing it because hob is simply there talking shit with his mates at the pub, just running his mouth, but you can see the resolve in his eyes, the determination to his features, when he says “i’m not going to die,” and you can already tell that hob is set apart from any other person. i always describe hob in terms of his hubris but it isn’t that he’s prideful necessarily, to me; more that he doesn’t bother to ever think anything he says isn’t possible—it doesn’t even occur to him that what he’s saying won’t come to pass

i feel like one of the reasons hob is such a good match for dream is that even before he’s functionally immortal, hob comes across like he already operates on this level that’s beyond merely human in how he sees things—his expansive love for life, the scope of possibility, the idea that mortality is optional to begin with. hob is such a fucking regular person but he also has this, like... vaguely homeric quality to him? i can’t put my finger on it but i can just picture hob rowing odysseus’ ship to troy, you know? and i think that’s what i’m getting at. i’m not surprised at all that he would be of interest to dream

and like, we always talk about how dream is a complete mystery to hob for centuries and how dream must fascinate him and occupy his thoughts. it’s easy to see why dream would capture hob’s attention, but it’s equally interesting to me to think about why hob captures dream’s focus for centuries as well. why keep coming back to this man? why, when hob is just doing the gritty everyday work of living that dream derides and thinks himself so far above?

i imagine this is the thing about hob that fascinates dream, who is prideful to the point of it being a tragic flaw; who is a king, a lord, and isn’t typically met with this kind of dogged obstinacy, who doesn’t expect a challenge. even though he presides over all dreamers he doesn’t expect someone not of the endless to dream like this. to push the boundaries and laws of the universe like this. and how is it that hob, given this gift, then asks nothing for himself except to have an abundance of mundane experiences, when other men have been demanding and unimaginably cruel and tried to break and bend dream of the endless to their will? how can hob ask nothing more of him than presence, than friendship? than dream’s regard?

god, this post is getting away from me. anyway, back to the 1389 scene—the moment dream says hob’s name, “let us meet here, robert gadling...” there’s this minute shift in hob’s expression, in the attention he gives dream. he was already looking at him with interest (in other news, i’m convinced hob would’ve already happily gone home with dream that very day in 1389 and i will stand my ground on that...)—like, here’s this ethereal-looking stranger, in a lord’s clothes, big fuck-off jewel round his neck and eyes like the stormy sea, looking at him, at hob? why? hob doesn’t know but he’s into it!

but then the stranger knows his name, and you can see in his eyes the second he realizes this is serious, this is real. this is something hob sticks on and asks dream about for centuries—how did the stranger know his name? how did he know johanna? and lushing lou? thinking about this from hob’s perspective, living in 1389, he’s probably thinking that names are words of power in this world. and dream knows hob’s name, and you can see in his eyes, in his expression, that he’s disturbed, but hob meets that fact with trepidation but also with curiosity. and he doesn’t take his eyes off dream, who is suddenly more on his level than anyone else in this pub, who dignifies his wish to live forever, who operates on hob’s scale of time. tells dream, “don’t mind them,” like, these other mortals don’t share our understanding

like... i’m just in awe of the depth conveyed in this scene, i feel like there’s more to find in hob’s character every day and that’s all thanks to ferdinand’s acting

and as dream leaves the tavern, hob has this dawning look of deep thought on his face, like he’s realizing what he just agreed to, as if all his aches and pains, all the little fourteenth-century ills that could have led to his untimely death are falling away from him already

this is TOO MUCH for my poor tired heart!!!

#the sandman #dreamling #hob gadling

[chvoswxtch]

I think of the quote “tell me every terrible thing you ever did and let me love you anyway” with frank castle at least twice a day😕 can you maybe write anything like that when youre free bc i love your writings so so much you amaze me every time

I wasn't planning on posting this today but it kinda just poured out of me (i'm v deep in my frankie feelings today) so...surprise?

thank you so much nonnie for breaking my heart requesting this. you're amazing & I love you.

angsty/emo blurb below the cut.

let me love you anyway.

Frank had never wanted someone to understand him so badly as he wanted you to. And for the most part, you did. But there was so much that he kept locked away. 

There weren’t just skeletons in his closet. There was enough bloodshed to turn oceans red. There were sins he’d committed that would make the Devil look like an angel. There were sides to him even he was too scared to face in the mirror.

Frank granted you peeks behind the curtain every once in a while, but he never let you see him fully. He knew that you were aware of his past, and his crimes, but anything you read in black and white paled in comparison to what was painted in red. Those letters didn’t hold the weight of the bodies he’d dropped. The summaries reported in the news were a fairytale compared to the nightmare of the details. 

He wanted to let you in. He wanted you to know him, really know him, more than he ever wanted anything. He didn’t want to hide from you. He didn’t want to have to be someone else. He wanted you to love him, the real him.

But could you?

Could you love a man like him? 

Could you make sense of all his broken pieces? Could you forgive sins that even’t God couldn’t? Could you look at him and just see him?

Could you call him by his real name, not the one he was branded? Could you hold his hand without thinking about how many lives he had taken with it? Could you accept the evidence on his body of what he really was?

Could you still think he was your hero if he proved that he was a monster? Could you still look at him if it was all true? Could you stay knowing it was?

“Frank?”

He couldn’t look at you. He couldn’t see the disappointment and disgust in your eyes when he took off his mask. Maybe he shouldn’t tell you. Maybe he should just let you go, with an idea of him rather than the truth.

“Frank.”

You didn’t give him the choice to avoid your gaze this time. Frank stared down at you solemnly as you kneeled in front of him like he was an altar, taking his face into your soft hands that had never been stained with blood, staring up at him as if he was an answered prayer instead of hellsent. 

“You’re not going to scare me away.”

Frank’s eyes became glossed over with tears at the conviction in your voice. He knew you wanted to mean that as badly as he wanted to believe it. 

“You don’t…you don’t know that. You don’t know…what I’ve done…”

His voice trembled as much as his hands did. It felt like the room was closing in on him, and the only thing keeping him from collapsing was you. 

“Then tell me.”

Frank squeezed his eyes shut, nearly sobbing at the gentle touch of your fingers wiping the tears from his cheeks before they could stain. Sometimes you touched him like he was made of glass, and right now he felt like he was seconds away from shattering. No one had ever treated him as delicately as you had, and it was hard not to crumble under the weight of your kindness.

“Frank, look at me.”

Frank did as you asked, he always did, and he didn’t hesitate to lean into your embrace when you carefully rubbed your thumb across his cheekbone in a soothing manner. There was a tender smile on your lips and a mixture of sympathy and devotion pooling in your eyes.

“Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway.”

tags: @day-dreaming-goddess  @neverlandcity @charmedkim @queenofthenoobs @stilldreaming666 @mattymurdock1021 @messymissy @dark-academia-slut @strawberry1042

#frank castle #frank castle request #frank castle blurb #frank castle x you #frank castle x y/n #frank castle x reader #the punisher #the punisher blurb #the punisher request

[mirroredmemoriez]

Werewolves designs and other shit

Got bored- Remembered I have free choice to make posts on anything I want... So here I am with opinions no one asked for. As the title suggests, it's about werewolves. Starting off, I don't believe I need to explain what a werewolf is. However, I'll put it out there that in most descriptions and depictions it's meant to be a humanoid wolf. I say this because you'll find that in some movies or books it's just a person turning into a giant wolf with no human features or movement such as standing on two legs. (Or like a minotaur situation where the body is a human, but the head is a wolf.)

Here I've collected just human references and anatomy- This is so I can make comparisons and such. Humans vary heavily in the way that we look, due to things such as lifestyle and genetics. At base level, of course we're HUMAN. However, things like our body types, hair texture, eye colour or shape and yada yada all can change the way we look and create differences between us and somebody else.

This is the same for wolves, though maybe not as noticeable compared to humans? Mostly things like their size, coat colour or thickness and etc is what separates them from one another. Looking at their head shapes also can show what species they may be. Generally, they're a pretty lean animal seeing as wolves are known for their running endurance to hunt prey. Being too big would slow them down... I mention this because some depictions of werewolves people make them too muscular in my opinion? It's like they're hairy body builders. Speaking of werewolves- Let me try draw this post back to where I started it! First I wanna look at almost shifted werewolves, so not fully transformed.

(Also I will be using depictions and characters which aren't labelled necessarily as a ''werewolf'' but share many features or similarities. For example, Bigby from The Wolf Among Us.) The common things we usually see is an increase in hairiness, canine growth and eyes becoming highlighted- Usually yellow, though sometimes the werewolf maintains their natural eye colour. We also have ears becoming pointed and the area around the eyebrows and forehead starting to protrude more. All of these things when done right I enjoy in a werewolf design! Though, it's a given that some do it better than others... One of my favourite werewolf designs and transformations has to go to the movie An American Werewolf In London.

This to me is one of the PEAKS of werewolves in media. I could probably make a full post on just this movie... It's one of the most iconic designs and for good reason. Not to mention, I love practical effects, especially in horror. One of my dreams is to make a movie with them. Enough gushing though. What do I like? Well, it's grotesque nature really. A transformation shouldn't just be BAM you're a ball of fur in my eyes. The amount of change is crazy and so glossed over.

The transformation literally has bones extending along with all the muscles and tissues alongside. Don't even get me started on what the organs may have to be doing? A human heart could not support a werewolf body, it just wouldn't be big enough... That muscle would literally have to increase in size to be able to deal with the power behind the body of a wolf. Yes, I'm aware they're supernatural and I shouldn't try heavily to apply science to them... However, I don't care? A TRANSFORMATION WOULD BE HORRFIC AND PAINFUL, SO IT SHOULD BE SHOWN AS SUCH! It's also why I headcanon that turned werewolves have the chance of just dying straight up with their first transformation, compared to ones just born as a werewolf because of how extreme the change is. Anyway! Some more designs.

I think what some suffer from, is leaning either too close to a human and or leaning too close to a wolf? They can't find a balance and at times it's like a worse rendition of the Cats movie.

Like here, the werewolves from The Quarry almost lean into some classic vampire depictions. The teeth I like! But the lack of hair and flatter snout just means it's not really screaming WEREWOLF at me.. More so a general mutant. (QUICK ADD! A flatter snout doesn't always break a design. It's just when other features such as hair are also lacking that it starts becoming less wolf in nature to me.) We've also got a more recent werewolf to look at... Which is Enid from the Wednesday show. Because fucking hell, that was a disappointment? She ended up looking like a mix between the Ice Age baby and Diego the saber tooth tiger.

They did her so fucking dirty... And it would actually be very simple to fix! This could be salvaged- It just wasn't. Somebody saw that design and green lit it and whoever you are, why? I think I'll end this here now because I've reached the image limit... If anyone has any questions about certain things I've mentioned, feel free. I also want to state that this is pure opinion and by no means supposed to spread hate towards anything? It's your world, if you wanna draw your werewolves like the Sims 4, who am I to stop you? THIS IS MAL OUT! AND IF YOU'VE READ ALL OF THIS YOU'RE SOMEHOW MORE UNHINGED THAN I AM CURRENTLY. (I MAY MAKE A PT 2 AS I DO HAVE MORE THOUGHTS AND MENTIONS TO MAKE.)

#werewolf #werewolves #werewolf designs #teen wolf #the wolf among us #the quarry #wolf blood #an american werewolf in london #the wolf man #wolf man #the howling #van helsing #nosferatu #enid sinclair #wednesday netflix #remus lupin #lycanthrope #the cabin in the woods #fenrir greyback #headcanons #wolf study #horror #horror movies #tw gore #blood tw

[darsynia]

Just Right | Ch 4

(Steve Rogers x F!Reader, post-Ultron Multichapter)

Summary:

You’ve been in love with Steve Rogers for at least a year, but he treats you the same way he treats every other member of the team– with respect, but nothing more. It takes an inter-dimensional mistake and a whole second, more assertive, actually interested Steve for you to realize that you don’t want just any version of Steve Rogers– you want the one you’ve been pining for all this time.

Length: 3,456

FIC MASTERLIST | LAST CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

Want to be tagged on this or any other Steve fic? Please ask! @ronearoundblindly @munstysmind @tiny-anne @themaradaniels @starryeyes2000 @chickensarentcheap

Excerpt:

“He’s me, ‘Dine. He’d never dream of revealing something like that. I was thinking about it-- I think the only reason he went on the mission is because it happened for them already. It’s hard to resist the comparisons.” He lifts his eyebrows to see if you want him to take your tray, and you nod.

“How is that going?” you ask carefully.

Steve immediately looks at the ceiling, then over at the window, before finally glancing your way, letting out a little sigh. “Can someone be better at being you than you are?”

You let some of how you feel about him show, since you’re practically bursting with it anyway. “No, but you can know yourself well enough to recognize that you and he are working on different things, and they don’t overlap.”

He’d been priming to stand up, but your words physically send Steve back in his chair. The look is back, the one you wish you could bottle up and overdose with, on nights when you talk with your married friends.

“I-- That really helps. Thank you.”

Chapter Four

You don’t change clothes for lunch; it’s only when you walk into the cafeteria area that you realize this could be very loosely construed as a date-- but by then it’s too late, because Steve’s seen you and he waves you over to the smaller table by the wall.

“I waited, hope you don’t mind. Natasha told me it’s very rude to set things up so that the woman is eating when the man isn’t.”

Does that make this a date? your traitorous brain pushes you to ask as the two of you make your way over to get food. You could probably phrase it in a way that gives you cover if his reaction is negative-- but you just can’t do it. Instead, you ask him about the stuff that didn’t make it into Natasha’s rather clinical report.

He talks about the secrecy the government had asked them to employ, how they’d worn sunglasses and ball caps to get to the site, their gear stowed away in backpacks.

“Tony took one look at the group of us and went back into the Quinjet. He came out wearing a leather jacket, reflective sunglasses, and a motorcycle helmet. Said we all looked like a ‘tourist group’ of undercover FBI agents!”

You laugh. “Glad he put it to good use, even if it wasn’t the one I’d intended.”

He looks down and smiles at his sandwich, shaking his head a little bit. “I should have known you were the one who put that in there.”

“Hey, stashing an extra helmet is a no brainer, pun intended! Not everyone is a super soldier, but all of you sure love your motorcycles.”

“You’ll be happy to know we avoided self-destructive behavior as much as possible, this trip. The NRC guys were very careful, only let Stark go into certain areas.”

“Well,” you say, pointing at him with a celery stick. “Based on Howard’s notes you would have been fine, but I guess it doesn’t hurt to be cautious.”

“Howard Stark?” Steve asks, voice going quiet.

“Yeah. I mean, he was heavily involved in the serum development, and man, was he a note-taker!” Something about the look on Steve’s face hits you. “Did… did no one ever tell you about that? There are notebooks’ worth of--”

“No,” he says, posture straightening. “No one said anything.”

Now you feel guilty and indignant on his behalf, all at once. “They’re all scanned in, I bet you have access? I’m not sure anyone thought to tell you, sadly enough. Either that or they just assumed you knew.” You fumble around for your phone, but he stretches out a hand into your line of sight in that way he has, gentler than using his voice. It’s a leadership thing, the knowledge that a command to stop means something different when you’re both a friend and a team leader. You’ve always loved that about him.

“I’ll check it out. Thank you.”

You nod, offer the olive branch of a redirect back to the original conversation. “So, was Stark able to find the source of the radiation?”

“Yeah, flew it right to the disposal site. Probably saved days worth of decontamination work. Problem was, the HYDRA base-- well, you saw the report.”

“Booby traps, Tony Stark’s favorite.”

He wheeze-coughs through the sip he’d been taking. “Yeah, and his work defusing them was the lynchpin of the whole operation. He’ll be insufferable for days.”

“How will we be able to tell the difference?” It’s a joke, but after the two of you share a chuckle, Steve’s expression turns serious.

“Yeah, about that…”

“Oh, I walked right into that one.”

“Humor me? It’s been a strange experience, having a doppelganger. You seem like one of the only people who can instantly see the difference, so when you didn’t--” He breaks off and doesn’t continue.

You shrug. “It’s honestly just instinct? Or maybe I’m hypersensitive to hair length. Got to make sure that helmet fits you without slippage!”

Steve finishes off the last bite of his sandwich and regards you thoughtfully. It’s familiar (still thrilling, though), and you shove away the thoughts that everything you’ve been saying and doing here could have just as easily been done as a function of your job. You suddenly wish you could change the subject, but you know Steve. He’s wrestling with something. You suspect you’re one of the only people who see the differences between him and Gold Steve enough to help.

“He won’t say anything about what he may have gone through-- and I wouldn’t ask,” Steve says quickly. “It does feel like he’s more… maybe ‘comfortable’ is the word? It’s hard not to worry that it’s from some kind of shared trauma.”

“A shared trauma you’d avoid, if only you knew it was coming?” you guess gently.

Steve’s look of relief carries with it an undercurrent of gratitude that could very easily be tuned to the romantic. After spending hours of your life syncing yourself to his resonance, your body can’t help but respond, quickening your breathing and heating your blood.

“He’s me, ‘Dine. He’d never dream of revealing something like that. I was thinking about it-- I think the only reason he went on the mission is because it happened for them already. It’s hard to resist the comparisons.” He lifts his eyebrows to see if you want him to take your tray, and you nod.

“How is that going?” you ask carefully.

Steve immediately looks at the ceiling, then over at the window, before finally glancing your way, letting out a little sigh. “Can someone be better at being you than you are?”

You let some of how you feel about him show, since you’re practically bursting with it anyway. “No, but you can know yourself well enough to recognize that you and he are working on different things, and they don’t overlap.”

He’d been priming to stand up, but your words physically send Steve back in his chair. The look is back, the one you wish you could bottle up and overdose with, on nights when you talk with your married friends.

“I-- That really helps. Thank you.”

“Anytime,” you say, and mean it.

When you’re finished with your work for the day, something in you just cannot stand to be indoors any longer. That doesn’t mean you’re going to go for a run or anything, but a walk among green things is a necessity. You head straight for the woods when you get outside, aiming for a particular clearing that’s a favorite, the one with a tree that angles just so, perfect for leaning against and thinking.

It had been a gamble to move into the Avengers Compound, because it cut you off in some ways from your friends in the city. Not everyone who works there lives on-site, it’s not required-- and you didn’t do it just because it’s where Steve lives. After all, he’s been looking for months for a place in Brooklyn, so he could move out at any point. He refuses to let anyone help (and you suspect that Stark actually has a place rented or bought for him and is just looking for the right way to trick Steve into living there), but you’re sure it’s only a matter of time.

The lunch today has you all twisted up in knots, even hours later. On one hand, you’re elated that he’d invited you to lunch at all, that you got his full attention for such an extended period of time-- especially in such a relaxed, no-pressure setting. On another, it was… more of the same, from him. 

You let out a long, frustrated sigh. Meeting Gold Steve has made you dissatisfied with the status quo, there’s no other way to put it. Without his attentive interest, you’d have seen your lunch with your universe’s Steve Rogers as one of the most exciting events of your tenure here.

“That’s a weary sound,” a voice says. Speak of the devil…

“Haven’t they sent you back yet?” you quip, mostly kidding. You’re vulnerable and combative right now, and if you can chase Gold Steve away, you really ought to.

He walks over into your line of sight and shoulders up against a tree, one hand in his pocket. “Tony’s been in the lab since last night, or so FRIDAY says. A couple more hours and Natasha’s planning to break in to give him a care package of food and fresh coffee.”

“That’s… actually pretty encouraging.” Your back has started to hurt, but if you stand up to leave, you know he’ll offer to accompany you, and your universe’s Steve has seemed a little… protective of you, when Gold Steve is around. 

That thought actually pisses you off, because the word your mind is dancing around is ‘jealousy,’ and in order for there to be jealousy, there need to be feelings. You’re pretty sure that’s not what’s going on.

“If you don’t mind my saying so, you look like you need to talk something out.”

“You’re probably simultaneously the best and the worst person to do that with right now,” you groan.

“It’s ‘other me’ related?”

You close your eyes and scrunch up your face in regret. “Pretend I didn’t say anything?”

“And squander your chance to figure him out?” Gold Steve actually makes a ‘tsk’ noise.

“You don’t really mean that,” you say with your eyes still closed. “Even if you did, there’s no figuring. There’s just me reading into things.” You suspect he’s trying to learn more about his counterpart, so you decide to chase him away with this and then maybe dig a hole to fling yourself into until he goes back home. “He’s had lunch with any number of other people, and it’s just the way you look at me that made me mix the two of you up when he was jog--” 

You straighten up. If Stark’s really on the verge of a breakthrough, this might be your last chance to ask Gold Steve the thing that’s been nagging at you for weeks.

If you’re burning bridges, then you might as well light them up.

“What is with that, anyway? You know that’s how I knew, right? The way you look at me.” Most of your rational brain is in revolt, but you’re tired. If this avatar of the person you love can’t explain to you how to trigger the same reaction in your version, then you’re going to demand that he tell you what makes him different. He’s upended your neatly compartmentalized life, it’s the least he can do. And once he has, he’ll probably stop seeking you out, and you can start the process of returning to normal.

He looks guilty.

“I wasn’t going to--” Gold Steve presses his lips together. “I’m not trying to change anything,” he says, and it sounds more like he’s trying to persuade himself than you. “After I found out Bucky was alive, learned some of what he’d gone through, someone was there for me, and I fell really hard.” 

His wry smile is sad, and you feel a tiny prickle of alarm. It doesn’t feel like this is going to be a happy story.

He continues, “At the time, I didn’t feel like I knew enough about this decade, this century. I needed time. And the nature of the job, you know, the world always needs saving, so I wasn’t worried. I figured I had time. And then we lost-- she was gone.” 

Gold Steve stops and takes a breath. He’s not looking at you, and you don’t blame him. It seems like if he did, he might just lose the tenuous grip he has on his emotions. You can barely breathe just listening to him.

“I really regret that. I never took that chance-- and, I’d love to think we’d have made it work, that she’d have fallen for me just as hard-- but now I’ll never know. I’ll never know what it would’ve been like to wake up next to each other. To help her through the tough times, to maybe be the last loving thought on her mind, before the end.” He looks directly at you, and you can see it, the bone-deep regret, the determination to do whatever he can to prevent that kind of heartache. “Those days afterwards, they taught me you have to speak up, let people know what they mean to you. I can’t let the fear of letting someone down leave them to die alone. I told myself I had to use that horrible day to be better, to--” he lets out a tiny chuckle, like he’s reliving a bittersweet memory. “To wear my heart on my sleeve.”

“That’s beautiful,” you whisper. “I’m sorry you lost her.”

“Me too.”

Gold Steve wasn’t at dinner, but you didn’t blame him at all. You’d sat there trying to socialize with his words hanging around your heart until the burden was too heavy, and you’d excused yourself after barely eating anything. Now it’s two in the morning and you’re ravenous, and you only have yourself to blame.

You make yourself some cereal, a comfort food from your childhood, but you can’t bring yourself to eat it in the large, dark cafeteria, nor do you want to put the overhead lights on. Instead, you steal away with it to the rec room, even though it’s probably not allowed in there. If FRIDAY wants to tell on you, so be it.

It isn’t until you’re happily settling into the comfiest chair that you see you’re not alone.

“Jeez, Tony, are you okay?”

“Finally! Pay up,” he says triumphantly from his place on the couch. You swear for a solid twenty seconds; for months you’d avoided using his given name after he’d teased you for using Natasha’s first, telling him smugly that you’d rather pay him $50 than give him the satisfaction.

“I’ll pay you in the morning, but I think it’s cheating to stay up for forty some hours just for a lousy fifty bucks. I guess eccentric billionaire is as eccentric billionaire does,” you sniff. Inwardly, you’re mad that you’d forgotten Tony likes the rec room couch better than the guest beds.

“Fifty bucks and the solution to sending the Rog-elgänger back,” Tony says, adding quickly, “I think. I came in here to get a few winks and see if I still feel like a genius when I wake up.”

“And?”

“Fatal flaw,” he grins. “I don’t know what it’s like not to feel like a genius.”

“Well, run it by me, I’ll give you my honest, non-genius opinion.”

“I wouldn’t be so quick to count yourself out of this equation, Brigandine. You’re a big part of how I figured it out,” Tony shocks you by saying. “Keep eating, don't let it get soggy. Okay.” He slaps a hand down on his right thigh. “Say this is our universe, and this--” Tony slaps his other hand down on his left thigh; “--is IMPOS-Steve’s universe. He’s said there’s no Avengers Compound over there, but he still walked out into the room when he showed up, right? Like there was a door in the wall?”

You’re still giggling from a minute back. “Only you would use your lap to symbolize the multiverse! But yes, it was like he’d just walked through a door.”

Tony ignores your gibe, caught up in his explanation. “That means it’s not a one-to-one transfer-- whatever chose that place in space-time, it’s not based on where he was when he left. Which is useful only up to a point, because to send him back, I have to do the same thing. With me so far?”

You nod, your mouth full.

“Not long after the attack on New York I got to thinking about how the Chitauri were able to connect from so far a distance. I mean, yeah, wormhole, but I figured there had to be more to it than that. I thought, what if there was something that was like DNA, but it was readable without having to look into a person’s cells. A molecular imprint, like your own personal resonant frequency.”

You’re completely fascinated. “The same way a big building or a bridge has a specific frequency, only unique?”

“Not at all, and yes,” Tony says. “It doesn’t really matter what it is exactly, just that it exists. The problem is figuring out how to detect it, so I went looking for Vision. The two of us did some testing--” He pauses for an extended, satisfying-looking yawn, scratches his forehead, and tries to remember where he was.

“Some testing?” you prompt.

“A lot of testing, but yes. I had set this aside way back when because there was no way to really test the theory--”

“I’m sorry, what theory? Connection over long distances?”

“Well, yes, but connection across universes, too. I mean, the worst possible nightmare, right? With the mind stone and access to every dimension, Loki might have had the largest army ever. An infinite army.”

There’s something about the expression on Tony’s face, like maybe he’d actually set this concept aside because it was the only way he could sleep. He shakes himself a little bit, sees you’re sitting there, and apparently, that’s enough to remind him of where he is in his explanation.

“Right. Faux-gers,” Tony says, grinning. Your stomach clenches in a not wholly uncomfortable way at the idea that your boss associates you with Steve enough to put him back on track like that.

“I think what you’re really lying awake doing is coming up with those,” you tease.

“You know it. Anyway, you’d think there’s no way to test it, right? You’d have to have two versions of the exact same person. Yes, exactly!” Tony says at your spark of realization. He absurdly makes two little ‘people’ out of the first and second fingers of each hand, and stands them up on his thighs, harking back to his ‘lap dimensions.’ “Vision was able to confirm it. Both Steves have the same resonance.” He sighs and lets his hands drop. “Another breakthrough I can’t win a Nobel for.”

You still feel like you’re right on the edge of understanding, and from the yawn Tony just fought through, he’s running out of coherent consciousness. “That’s great, but how does that send him back, exactly?”

“Because all I have to do is tune the thing I haven’t quite invented yet to the resonance of one of the other Avengers. That way I can feel confident I’m sending Pure Imitation Vanilla back safely, instead of in the middle of the concrete foundation for the Bezos Tower or something. And now I want cookies.”

You are taken by a yawn of your own, and Tony leans over and rescues your mostly-empty bowl before it falls off of your lap. Something he said when you first started talking is important, but you can’t remember what it is--

“I might send Nat to trick him into telling us how much farther along he is than we are,” Tony says, lifting up your spoon, making a terrible face, and setting the bowl down on the coffee table. “He tried to play it off, but there were times on that mission that he was definitely steering us away from some nasty shit.”

That confirms your similar hunch. “How far ahead do you think he is?”

“Very,” is the surprising answer. “Which brings me back to your role in all of this. Brigandine, I’m sorry to say, but I think you’re dead.”

You blink at Tony. “Dead? I figured I just wasn’t born in his--”

“Ah, but that wouldn’t work.” He pops his finger figurines back up on his lap, and you groan. “They have to match, remember?”

“Couldn’t the matching resonance thing have been Sam?” you protest. A film of unreality is forming across your skin, dusting up goosebumps and an accompanying chill.

“I don’t think so. You said he seemed pleased to see you, surprised to see the complex. What if something happened? Something bad?” Tony leans over. “Something preventable? If the resonance is tethered to a person instead of a timeframe, how do you ensure you arrive before the bad thing happened?”

“You choose someone who shouldn’t be alive,” you breathe, shaken. “But he’s been here for weeks! If something’s coming, wouldn’t he have said something by now?”

“Not if it’s a ways off. Not if he can’t go back. This is Steve Rogers, ‘Dine. His morals have morals. If we can’t send him back, he doesn’t need to say anything and change other things by accident. He just has to steer us away from the dragons at the edge of the map.”

Next chapter

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x f!reader #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fic #captain america x f!reader #captain america x reader #captain america #steve rogers #mcu #mcu fanfiction #marvel #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x you #captain america x you #romance #pining

[taciturnpoet]

okay here is the promised anderperry Icarus and the Sun/Apollo post because @73647e enabled me lol

this will be mostly rambling because I love this comparison (and use it a lot) so be happy if there is even a single coherent thought in this okay? talking about this makes my brain go FAST and I went over this about a thousand times so bear with me here

When I had first started thinking about this, I had originally thought of Neil being the Sun and Todd being Icarus. But then I realized no, their dynamic shifts and actually switches roles after Todd does the poem in Keating’s class.

In the beginning, Neil is the one that draws Todd into the group and persuades him to join the poets, all while also encouraging him to be himself and speak up more. While Todd is not only falling for Neil, he’s also trying to take Neil’s advice to heart since Neil is what Todd wants to be.

Neil could befriend a brick wall if left alone with it long enough. Everyone likes him and believes that he is made for great things (though not the same great things he wants to do), and you can tell that Todd wants to get to that point himself eventually. Todd’s been told his entire life that he will never amount to anything unless he becomes this thing he doesn’t even like, and Neil is more of what he aspires to be.

Then the poem in Keating’s class happens and things change.

After the poem, Todd starts to come into himself a little more. He’s gaining confidence in himself and his work—the work he wants to do, the work he’s passionate about—and he’s joking around and talking more with the poets. (Even though this scene is deleted, and I think that’s a crime) he reads a poem out loud to them and Keating at the end of the movie without Neil there.

Now, we know why Neil isn’t there, but that’s not important yet lol

Neil has been Todd's safety net, the person that kickstarted his self-confidence growth and made him truly embrace himself in the long run. By the end of the movie, Todd can show other people his work without Neil having to be there, which is a major development from Todd in the first poets meeting too afraid to speak and always looking to Neil for guidance.

When Todd is helping Neil practice his lines on the dock—another criminally deleted scene—he’s excited. He’s teasing Neil and playing around with him and becomes what he had the potential to be at the beginning of the movie with the help of Neil and Keating. 

Todd’s decided that he wanted to be his own person. He’s not going to try and live up to his parent’s expectations of him becoming a second Jeffrey, he’s going to pursue his writing and be his own person, and he appears to become so much freer after that realization. He’s embraced his passion for writing and poetry and pursues his art without hesitation, just as Neil wants to do with his acting, becoming a shining light of possibilities and potential, and most of all, freedom. 

After the poem, the glimpse of Todd’s brain, and his passion, Neil almost views it as something holy. In Neil’s eyes, Todd and his freedom are something to strive for, to look up to, and hope for like it's something divine. In a way, Todd becomes a symbol of freedom and passion, a beacon of everything Neil could be and wants to be/do.

I know we as a fandom talk about this a lot, but look at the way Neil looks at Todd after the poem, the way the sun is shining on his face and lighting him up only in the way it does whenever he’s having a Moment™ with Todd. No, seriously, it does that to him both when he decides to audition for the play and after the poem, but practically nowhere else in the movie.

Insanity. Anyway.

But then, during this same time that Todd is embracing his freedom, there is Neil. Neil who is practicing and alive and passionate while preparing for the play, making plans for the future, and dreaming of pursuing this life as an actor.

 ["God, for the first time in my whole life, I feel completely alive!" // "Most people, if they're lucky, live about half an exciting life. If I could get the parts, I could live dozens of great lives!"]

And yet, there is another Neil. The Neil who gets confronted by his father and told to stop doing the play, to stop acting, and give up his dreams, his passions, and what he believes to be his life, all to stay stuck in the existence his father wants him in. The Neil that goes to Keating for help and cries that he’s “trapped.”

The moment Neil decides to lie to Keating and tell him that he talked to his father, the moment he chooses to continue with the play and acting despite everything that could happen is the moment he cements his place as the Icarus in their dynamic. He chooses to ignore his father’s warnings against participating in the play and does it anyways. He chooses freedom and passion over safety. Neil chooses to fly.

Neil chose to take a chance, to try and escape and join Todd on the other side of freedom and authenticity, where he could pursue his dream and become an actor. He has his moment to shine, to taste the warmth of the stage lights akin to sunlight as he brings the play to life. All the possibilities, hopes, and dreams, all within his reach in the form of a crown made of sticks and leaves in a small-town theater. He can see his friends and his teacher in the crowd and feels invincible and in his element, bigger than life.

But then comes the melting of the wax and the plummet back to earth as he sees his father’s angry face in the back of the theater, and he knows.

He knew that there was no going back now, no reversing what he’d done, the fact that he’d lied to the two most influential men in his life for just a chance to join the other side. And yet, as someone pointed it out recently (I can’t find the post right now, I’m so sorry), there is a moment when Neil comes out after the play, and he smiles at his father, an attempt to see if maybe he won’t be falling tonight. But then his father doesn’t smile back, and everything goes by in a rushed blur of a freefall.

All of the poets try and reach out to him, to talk to him and congratulate him on his way out, but the only one he looks at is Todd. Todd, who’s so excited to see him afterward, tries to talk to him and get him to come back with them, but Neil smiles sadly at him and lets himself be dragged away. He knew he couldn’t put off this fight with his father forever and decided to stop hiding from it. He’s falling and isn’t trying to stop it.

I think Neil looks at Todd the way he does before they leave because a part of him knows he’s not coming back. He doesn’t want to go, but he can’t slow it down and spends his last moments with them looking at the boy whose become his Sun.

The descent is quick after the car pulls away, and Neil cannot stand up to his father. Every moment that led to Neil’s decision to be a part of the play, to follow Todd, is in the sun's bright light. It makes sense then that he’d die at night, with death embracing him with the sound of a gunshot rather than water splashing.

Todd finds out about Neil's death after sunrise. It's gray and quiet, but the sun still rises even after he knows Neil isn't rising with it.

And he's devastated, and he's angry, and he's no longer afraid to show that. He gets mad at Cameron for blaming Keating for Neil and believing he would kill himself under any circumstances other than his father. [“That is not true, Cameron, you know that. Keating didn’t put us up to anything. Neil loved acting!”]

Then, he gets mad at Nolan, talking back to him in front of his parents in that sham of a conference and in front of Keating's class as Keating is leaving. The same Nolan Todd nearly cried in front of on his first day at Welton because he was so afraid to speak his mind, to stand up for himself.

Todd is grieving, he is angry, and he is stronger than he was at the start. While he stands on his desk for Keating in a show of support, in thanks, he is also standing on his desk in thanks to Neil. For Neil.

Neil's gone. And yet, Todd shows his strength. He stands up for the ones he loves and is thankful for while also standing in defiance for those who played a hand in Neil's end and killing their dreams. He appears to smile ever-so-slightly when Keating looks at him, and Keating must know he'll be okay. 

His best friend is dead. The actor who brought a play to life and cast light everywhere he went was gone, but Todd isn't. Neil's light only reflected what Todd still had and would dedicate to Neil.

The freedom, art, and life that Todd now held were what Neil fell for, and Todd would spend his life creating in memory of the boy who fell trying to join him. Todd had to ensure that everyone would know the story of Neil Perry as much as they did Icarus. They were so similar, after all.

(this started to change halfway through, so idk if it makes sense but that’s fine. please talk to me about anything like this I get so excited about it lol)

#i had to stop myself from continuing this #but i will if people want #this is 1600 words long wtf #neil is so icarus-coded it’s not even funny #it got worse the longer i thought about it #this is probably my favorite greek myth #if you couldn’t tell #dead poets society #dead poets fandom #dps #dps fandom #anderperry #neil perry #todd anderson #neil x todd #todd x neil #icarus and the sun #icarus and apollo #kaz rants #kaz posts

[accio-victuuri]

everyday is a good day to be a bxg 🌼 ( cpn for sunday & thoughts on things that happened today )

It was a busy afternoon for us, from wyb finally being confirmed to go to LA for the Chanel Cruise Show and then an hour later, XZ’s new movie to be filmed was announced. this is what i meant when i say we never lose. double happiness for us all the time. 👏🏼

so glad that they get these opportunities and continue to do what they love the most! in the meantime, we will be here to support them.

THOUGHTS ON THE AFTERNOON NEWS:

Let me just show the hot search attached to them and go from there:

• XZ’s new movie! Finally! It’s been so long since Jade Dynasty! More than anything, I am looking forward for his aesthetic. I’m sorry for his hairline yet again but he just fits the whole wuxia vibe. He is working with a well known director and a big IP, so that’s good for him. It can also be a huge challenge because Condor Heroes is a well loved story in China and the pairing was played by so many actors for years before him and his co-star — so the pressure is definitely ON. A lot of passer by will have something to say, there will be lots of opinions and the movie will be picked apart, and i think the production knows that too. So everyone should work extra hard to make something special. 💕

In the subject of GG going into movies, well i hope him and WYB will attend movie award events together. LOL. cause technically, they will be in the same “movie circle”. I know this will do well in the BO, and hopefully after this, XZ can choose a passion project that is not tied to an existing IP. Maybe this is their chance to work together, A movie. Who knows. I’m just putting out there!

• The second HS is about listing all XZ’s past female co-stars / love interests and something about it makes me feel that we’re so lucky cause WYB is his only male “love interest”. They will both have so many leading ladies in their projects, but WWX / LWJ will always be that one-time they didn’t. HAHAHAHAHAHA! They can compare all they want among those women ZZ worked with but we all know who is the best “love interest” 😂😂😂

I also know nothing about his co-star for the new movie and i honestly don’t care much. I’m like a solo when it comes to this, as long as they are good at what they do then i’m okay. I’m just gonna crop them out anyway in almost everything i share about the project. so yeah.

• OF ALL THE THINGS THAT CAN GO ON HS WITH YIBO’S LOS ANGELES TRIP! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

actually, his top, trousers and cap are all things he has worn before. that’s just how he is. he is the same as XZ in this, they are professional outfit repeaters — and there is nothing wrong with that tbh. the only new things are the chanel cardigan and bag.

I know all of us are happy that he gets to have a work/vacation abroad. If you’re following other c-ent stars, it seems like a lot of them already had time to play abroad and now it’s our yibo’s turn and he deserves it the most!!!! I’m sure he will have fun and maybe he can meet his friends. This is his first Chanel Show abroad and it’s the Chanel Fanboy living his dream 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I need a photo of him and G-Dragon please. I also wanna add how lowkey his team was about this. There was no internal announcement from his side or fan groups. It was just melons and rumors. He still got hounded at the airport tho and of course lele and yanyan was there to protect him. And well - look at him trying to control people :

( but his big hands tho omg 👀 )

I will be sharing Chanel posts from other SNS cause engagement will be important so they know how big WYB is. Do not listen to other people ( you know who i’m talking about lol ). Just do your best in promoting our boy in this show. There is no need for comparison. Make noise. 🗣️🗣️🗣️

NOW LET’S MOVE ON TO THE TOPIC OF CLOWNING!!!!!

Well, the highlight of Yibo’s airport photos aside from himself is how visible the bone necklace is. It’s like he is showing off or something. It’s really a genius idea on XZ’s side to give him this because it gives off a sense of ownership. All I can say is, the relationship is stable. 😌😌😌

• photos & videos from his recently finished drama bright road shows him with his very cute bottled joy tumbler with lemon water. which has always been their thing 🍋 it’s truly the small things between them that i like, especially when it’s connected to taking care of themselves.

• My fave which is over analyzing the arrangement of photos, #2 and #8 looks different from the others again. Ai Bo. 🫶🏼

• and well more than that is how WYB’s photos from his safeguard live event in shanghai (2020) looks like it can be from the same set as ZZ’s 📷

their photographer / editor are dating 🤫

• Project Hints in their posts. This one is more on the heavy speculation/interpretation side of things. Tho I do believe that in 2020, wyb was basically the one giving signs if XZ will show up. and then XZ sharing something a day before WYB will announce his single ( which happened a couple of times ). So it makes sense that BXGs would keep an eye out on this.

Even XZ’s solo fans are saying he does this, like a caption from a tod’s post echoes a part of a poem “shooting the condors” & references an old city featured in the series~ so they agree that XZ & his team can put hints in their posts. i’m seeing people who caught this as soon as they posted but i’m uneducated about all this soooo 🤷🏻‍♀️

I swear he’s like taylor swift with his easter eggs and how fans should think about what he posts. lol. and well, we are good at that.

and recently, they did the whole wei lai x where dreams are made of hint too so ya know — they are not making this easy for us! how can you not clown? 😂😂😂😂

as for bxgs the most recent cue for WYB’s project was:

XZ studio posted on 11/2022 a vlog and on the caption was “long wind & waves” 长风破浪. and then weeks or months later, melons of WYB’s new drama of the same name started popping up. It’s now renamed to bright road but what are the chances that they will use that. to be fair, that video was the “health like be like..” vlog with him surfing so it fits, but there are so many other alternative to use so why what exact words huh?

( source one and two for the project hints cpn cause i would be so lost! actually, i still am. lol. )

-END.

#yizhan #bjyx #there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do

[fallingforfictionalcharacterss]

Traitor pt.5

A/N: This is the last part of the series. I originally planned on posting it yesterday, but I´ve been at my first concert in four years (Is anyone else obsessed with Yungblud on here? His music is just soo good.) and I wasn´t home all day. Anyway, I finished it now, so I hope you guys like it 💚

pt.4

The next days felt like a dream to you. Only the next morning you found out what had happened in the department of Mystery. When you had rushed to the Hospital Wing, you saw with great relief that none of your friends would carry away any lasting damages.

You spent most of your time on your own or with Harry, commuting between the Gryffindor common room and the Hospital wing. You enjoyed the time you could spend with your friends. It helped you distract yourself when you were sitting on Hermione´s bed, eating chocolate frogs and making fun of Fudge, who suddenly seemed to be Harry´s biggest admirer.

When you were in the common room with Harry, however, you mostly just stared into the fireplace. From time to time, you got interrupted by people approaching you and apologizing ruefully. To Harry for not believing him or for his loss and to you for ever doubting your loyalty to your house. But you, as well as Harry, tried to cut the other students off before they could start asking questions you didn’t want to answer. Then you went back to staring into the void silently.

You knew that the loss you suffered from was nothing in comparison to what Harry was going through right now. Still, both of you benefited from the fact that neither of you was alone with your pain. It comforted you to just spend some of your time with each other, especially since you were the only ones who didn’t bombard you with questions.

A few days later, you made your way back from the Hospital Wing to your common room. Harry´s and your ways had separated since he wanted to pay Hagrid a visit. But for some reason, you weren´t in the mood for Hagrid´s encouraging words.

As you turned around a corner, however, you wished you would have been. Only a few steps away, Draco stood in the corridor, frozen in place, just like you. The world around you became a blur; all you could see was him.

He didn’t look as good as he did back the day you had talked to him last. But even with bags under his eyes and the ashen undertone of his pale skin, to you, he was still the most beautiful person in the world. You couldn’t blame him for looking so tired, almost sick. Not only you had betrayed him, but his father had been arrested after he had led the attack on Harry and the others in the Department of Mystery. When you had heard about it, you had felt your heart clenching inside your chest. You had already realized back in Umbridge´s office that the fact that you had lied to him had hurt him even more than you had ever expected it to. And now he had also not only lost his privileges due to the dissolution of the Inquisitorial Squad but also his father.

“Draco.” It was just a whisper. You weren’t even sure if he had heard it.

It felt like time slowed down, as the two of you kept staring at each other.

You wished he would do something. Anything. If he would scream at you, threaten you, hex you, you would be fine with it. But the way he looked at you with a blank expression, broke your heart once more.

Then, finally, Draco dismantled from his rigidity. He straightened his back and cleared his throat.

“(Y/l/n).”, he said tonelessly, before he went on his way, passing you and turning around the next corner.

And just like that, Draco Malfoy had not only broken your heart but shattered it into a million pieces.

And you deserved it.

It was the last day before the Holidays. Tomorrow, you would return home. And for the first time, you actually looked forward to it. It wasn’t like you hadn´t missed your family in the last years, but Hogwarts felt by now more like your home than any other place. But after everything that had happened in the last few months, you felt like some distance from this place was just what you needed right now.

Hermione, Ginny, Luna, Neville and Ron had been discharged only a few days ago. Everything felt a bit more normal, now that Hermione´s empty bed wasn’t the first and last thing you saw every day. Plus, it felt good to not roam around the castle on your own anymore how you had done in the last days, except for when you had been with Harry who had usually preferred to spend most of the time on his own. Especially when you encountered the former members of the Inquisitorial Squad, who now treated you like you were a public enemy. And somehow, you were. You genuinely regretted this state of affairs, since you had actually grown into liking them over the last weeks.

The only one who had talked to you at all had been Pansy. When you had walked past her and neither your nor her friends had been in sight, she had stepped in your way, arms crossed in front of your chest. “I hope you're happy now.”, she had hissed, with a murderous shimmer in her eyes. But it had disappeared again rather quickly as those damn tears had made their way into your eyes again and you had somehow managed to choke out a small “No.”. Pansy had eyed you, her expression illegible. “Fix it then.”, she had told you and strutted away, leaving you speechless.

There was nothing you wanted more than to fix this, but you had no idea how. By now, you had given up the idea of trying to talk to Draco, let alone any of the others. One night, when you hadn’t been able to sleep once more, you had sat in your bed, writing a letter, but no matter how hard you tried, the words sounded hollow and meaningless. So you had given up on trying to approach Draco, contended yourself with staring at him awkwardly from the other side of the room, while he seemed to be completely unaware of your existence again, his gaze sliding over you, showing no signs of acknowledging that you had ever been more than just two people who happened to share a class with one another. And tomorrow you would get on a train, and you wouldn’t see the boy who meant so much to you for two whole months.

But maybe it was for the best like that. One way or another. Because a part of you hoped that over the holidays Draco might be able to somewhat forgive you for what you had done. The more rational part of you on the other hand tried to tell you that you should use the time to let the boy finally go. Because you obviously knew that whatever the two of you had had, back when Draco thought you were on his side, would never come back to you. And even while it lasted you had somehow known that sooner or later you would lose him. Because if it wouldn’t have been for the fact that you had smuggled yourself into the Inquisitorial Squad to get some information, it would be the fact that the two of you wouldn’t stand a chance regarding what was about to come. Now that you-know-who was back. You knew Draco wasn’t a bad person. He didn’t take as much pleasure in actually hurting people as the others thought he did, but that didn’t change the fact that he had grown up in the belief that the world the dark wizard wanted to create was the only right one. And the fact that Draco´s father had been arrested while fulfilling an order from said wizard, told you, that his family still held on to those beliefs. But on the other hand, how could you ever judge him for that or deny him the chance to change? Hadn´t Draco been the one to welcome you with open arms when you had pretended to change your mind? You knew that if Draco would ever do the same if he would ever actually wanted to change, you would be there for him. Even though you highly doubted that he ever would. Especially now that you, his only connection to the side fighting the dark, had betrayed him as you had done. If anything, you had taken the chance from Draco to decide on his own. You had taken his chance to change his mind. In the end, you were the evil one. And no one else.

You let yourself fall onto your bed and stared against the ceiling. You shouldn’t have gotten that involved in the entire situation from the very beginning. If you would have just done your job, if you wouldn’t have attached the strings as you had done, you wouldn’t have hurt Draco as you had. And now it was too late and you would have to live with the consequences of your decisions.

Lost in your thoughts you almost missed the door of your dorm opening.

“(Y/n)?”

You looked up and saw Hermione stepping towards your bed. You raised your head, resting your upper body on your elbows.

“What is it?”

“There´s someone outside for you.” Her voice sounded strange and you could see that your friend looked rather irritated.

“Who is it?”

“You´ll see.”, she stated and frowned.

“Why don’t they come in?”

“They can´t.”

“No Gryffindor?”

“God, (Y/n), just go and look for yourself.”

You groaned and let your head fall back onto the mattress.

“I don’t want to.”

And that was the truth. Hermione had interrupted you in the middle of the spiral of your self-pity. You didn’t want to be disturbed. All you wanted to do was dive right back into it, wondering where in life you went wrong.

“But I think it´s rather important.”

“I really don’t care, Hermione. They can send me an owl if they want to.”

“I don’t think Malfoy will be satisfied with this.”

You sat up immediately and looked at your friend with widened eyes.

“Draco? Here?”

“Outside the common room, more precisely.”, Hermione said, grinning knowingly as she observed your reaction.

You were almost out of the door of your dorm when you froze.

“Why do you think he´s here?”, you asked your friend.

Hermione shrugged her shoulders.

“I didn’t ask him. He wasn’t really happy talking to me, and honestly, I wasn’t delighted either.”

“What if he tells me that he hates me? That it´s all my fault? That he never wants to see me again?”, you whined.

Hermione looked at you compassionately.

“There´s only one way to find out.”, she said in a soft voice. “And (Y/n)?”

You looked at your friend questioningly.

“In the end, you´ve done nothing wrong. And no matter what will happen, I am always here for you.”

You nodded and threw your friend a thankful smile before you left.

You had almost expected Draco to be gone when you finally had gathered the courage to climb through the exit. But the Slytherin boy was standing in the corridor, hands buried deep inside the pockets of his cloak and a strange look on his face.

When the painting of the fat lady swung aside, he looked up. Once more, the two of you just looked at each other, without saying a word.

Finally, you cleared your throat.

“You wanted to see me?” You hated yourself for how shaky your voice sounded.

Draco tore his gaze apart from you and nodded.

“I´ve got a question.”, he finally said.

You looked at him in surprise. Still, you nodded.

“Yes?”

Draco´s gaze was by now fixed on the stone floor.

“When you… When we… In Umbridge´s office… You told me I wasn’t part of the plan.”

“I did.”

The floor seemed to be very interesting since Draco´s head was still lowered.

“What did you mean by that?”

You hesitated. You knew what you had meant, but you didn’t know how to explain. Still, you had to try. Because this was probably the last chance to get things right before they were lost forever.

“I… I meant…” Why was it so damn hard to tell him what appeared so clear to you? “When I joined the Inquisitorial Squad, it was to find a way to stop Umbridge. I thought by joining you I would get closer to her.”

“And you reached your goal, didn’t you?”, Draco spit out.

“No… I mean yes, but… The plan was just to join the group, never to build up anything with any of you. But you… you were so nice and you welcomed me in a way, I would have never expected.”

“Pretty foolish of us, wasn’t it?” His voice sounded bitter.

“No, it wasn’t, Draco. That´s what I´m trying to say. Because I started to enjoy spending time with you. And I… Those friendships… they were just as real to me as they were to you. I spend my time with all of you because I wanted to. Because it felt good. And you…” You stopped and looked at Draco, who was still looking anywhere but at you. “What we had, that was… You caught me by surprise Draco. I never wanted to, but you did. And I… I loved it.” I loved you, I still do, you added silently, but the words never left your mouth.

Draco stayed silent. He seemed to think about your words for a minute.

Finally, he glanced up at you. Your heart skipped a beat as you saw all the emotions in his eyes.

“Was it real?”, he asked silently. “Us, I mean. Was any of that real?”

“All of it.”

Draco nodded. He seemed to think about something for a moment, then he made a decision.

“You want to go for a walk?”

You looked at him with narrowed eyes. That question had caught you off guard.

“What?”

“Do you?”

You hesitated. This change of subject was abrupt and unexpected. What was his intention behind all of this? You highly doubted that he had forgiven you just like that. Was it a trap? If you would follow him, would you walk into your nemesis with your eyes wide open?

Draco seemed to see the indecisiveness in your eyes because he stepped closer. The expression in his eyes was almost pleadingly.

“It´s just… I don´t want to lose you (Y/n). I can´t.”

And when you followed Draco outside, you didn´t doubt your decision once.

The sun already set when you had reached the lake. Neither of you had said a word on your way down to the shore. But the moment the two of you looked at the lake that seemed to be made of liquid gold at this time of the day, the words started tumbling from your lips, as well as Draco´s.

When you had finally told him everything about your plan to bring Umbridge down, about what you had and hadn’t known about the things that had happened in the last weeks and mostly how incredibly sorry you felt, not for what you had done, but how you had made him feel, and Draco had finally gathered the courage to tell you at least a split of his point of view on all those things, about how much you had hurt him, but also about the more recent events, about his father and his concerns about the future, the night had already fallen and only some stars were shining on the sky.

You had sat down under the tree where you had already tried to tell him all these things for the first time. Only that this time you had actually done. And he had listened.

“You wanted to tell me, didn´t you? The last time we´ve been here. You wanted to tell me what you had done.”

You nodded.

“Why? How could you know I would find out that day?”

“I didn’t.”

“Why did you want to tell me then?”

“Because I hated lying to you. And because I thought that maybe… If I tell you before you find out any other way… I thought you might be able to forgive me.”

Silence.

“I guess I´m the foolish one now, ain´t I?”, you chuckled.

“Maybe not as much as you think.”

And as you looked to the side, you saw Draco shuffling a bit closer to you, until his shoulder almost touched yours. You threw the boy a shy smile. And he returned it immediately.

For you, it was almost incomprehensible how Draco had been able to forgive you that fast. But somehow, he had done so. It wasn’t like it had been before all of this and you highly doubted that it would ever be, but then again, you asked yourself if you even wanted it to be. You felt somehow relieved to not carry the weight of all those secrets on your back anymore and be able to talk openly to Draco. And he seemed to think the same.

A breeze blew across the lake, making you shiver. Even if it was midsummer, the nights were still coolish. You couldn’t help the shiver running down your spine.

“Are you cold?”, Draco asked, giving you a concerned look.

Even though you were indeed, you didn´t want this evening to end yet. So you shrugged your shoulders.

“Just a little bit.”

But when you had expected Draco to suggest that you should get back to the castle now, you had been wrong. Because instead, you suddenly felt his arm sneaking around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him.

It only took you a second of tension, before you melted into his warmth. You snuggled up closer to his chest, resting your head almost right above his heart. The hand carefully rubbed your upper arms, trying to increase the blood flow again.

“Better?”, Draco finally asked as he glanced down at you.

“Perfect.”, you sighed.

You didn’t know how long you were staring at the lake. The stars were reflected in the crystal-clear water, making it look like the sky wasn’t only far above your head, but right to your feet.

You could hear the murmur of the waves and the swooshing of the trees, moving slightly in the wind. You felt Draco´s warmth embracing you and the steady rising and falling of his chest. His scent, mixed with the smell of the water and the grass around you, lulled you in. All of those sensations made you feel dozy and you had no doubt you could easily drift off into sleep like that. Still, you wanted to cherish this peaceful moment for as long as possible, taking in every single detail of it. But the more time passed, the more you had to fight for your eyes to stay open.

“(Y/n)?”, Draco´s voice retrieved you from your dreamy state. The way you could feel his chest vibrating under your head, send chills down your spine.

“Hmm?”

“I meant what I said earlier. You know that?”

You squinted up at the boy.

“What exactly are you talking about?”

“I told you I don´t want to lose you again. And that’s true. I don’t want to lose you ever again. I want to stay with you – as long as you want me to as well.”

A small smile crept on your lips. You sat up, so you were able to properly look at the blond boy. His silvery eyes reflected the light of the stars shining above and under you. The look on his face was serious as if he hadn’t just said the thing that made you happier than anything anyone else had ever told you.

“What makes you think I´d ever want you to leave?”, you said, the grin on your face also visible in your voice.

“Because one day you might realize that keeping me is the most stupid idea you ever had.”, he said, only half-joking.

You sighed. If Draco would only see half of the things you saw in him, he wouldn´t say such things.

“I could say the same thing to you.”, you said, just like Draco making it sound like a joke, even if to you it wasn’t.

“No, for real, Draco. After everything that happened, after everything I´ve done to you – I wouldn’t have blamed you for never wanting to talk to me again.”

“Yet here we are.”

“Here we are.”, you confirmed.

“It´s just like I told you before.”, Draco said, as he brushed a strand of hair out of your face and tucked it behind your ear. It felt like your skin was burning in the places he touched you. “There´s nothing in this world that could ever change what I´m feeling for you.”

It was like his eyes hypnotized you. You just couldn’t look away.

“And what are you feeling?”, you asked in a breathy voice.

Draco didn’t answer immediately. Instead, his gaze wandered over your face, taking in every centimetre, until it finally settled on your lips. You could feel your heartbeat quicken. Draco´s face was only a few centimetres away from yours. And he moved even closer until the tip of his nose almost touched yours. His hot breath was burning on your face. Then his gaze tore apart from your lips and travelled back up to your eyes.

“Love.”, he simply responded, before he finally closed the gap between the two of you.

The feeling of Draco´s lips on yours was everything you had ever dreamt about and even more. They felt so much softer than you had imagined, as they tenderly moved against yours. For a moment you remained frozen in your spot before you thawed.

And once you had started, it seemed to be the easiest thing in the world. The way your lips moved in perfect sync made it feel like it had never been any other way and as Draco cupped your cheeks to pull you even closer, you gave in immediately. And even though the kiss was sweet and innocent, it was still filled with all the emotions that the two of you had bottled up over the last few weeks.

When you eventually pulled away, you looked at the boy in front of you, completely mesmerized. And Draco seemed to feel the same, because he returned your gaze, with just as much awe.

“I love you (Y/n).”, he whispered against your lips, while his eyes never left yours, not for the split of a second.

“I love you too.”, you responded quietly. And slowly, the realization of what had just happened washed over you, and the grin on your face grew uncontrollably. “I love you too.”, you repeated once more, by now smiling from one ear to the other.

Draco mirrored your smile. The grip he had on you tightened, as he pulled you close again, pressing another kiss on your lips.

As he pulled back, his thumbs caressed your cheeks, travelling over your lips, as he leaned his forehead against yours.

The two of you remained in this position for a while, just admiring each other, from time to time whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears.

It was already far after bedtime as you slowly made your way back to the castle. Once more, you held onto Draco´s hand tightly. Only that this time, you had no doubt that this touch wasn’t the end of something, but the beginning.

Somehow Draco had managed to prevent the front door from getting locked by Filch. The two of you slipped through it and got back to the Gryffindor common room, undetected.

As you stood in front of the portrait, Draco looked down at you with the happiest, yet saddest face.

“I can´t believe that tomorrow we have to leave, and I won´t get to see you for two whole months.”

You frowned.

“Maybe you don’t have to. You can visit me. Or I can visit you. Or we meet up somewhere else. As long as I can see you, I´m fine with any place.”

Draco gave you a small smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“(Y/n), you know what´s going on right now. All this family stuff and… I don’t want you to get involved in it.”

You shook your head firmly.

“But I already am.”

“That´s something different. Maybe all of this was a bad idea. If not losing you means that I have to let you go, then…”

“It isn’t. And it doesn’t.” You cupped Draco´s face with your hands and forced him to look at you. “I love you Draco. All of you. And no matter what is going to happen, I won´t let you go through this alone. You once said to me that you will always choose my side. That you will do so because you want to. Because it makes you happy. And you actually chose me. Even when I made it so damn hard for you. And I want to do the same for you now. I will do. And nothing you could ever say or do to talk me out of this. I´ve let you down once, that won´t happen a second time.”

“You can´t compare Umbridge with the Dark Lord. You can´t compare the Inquisitorial Squad with Death Eaters.” Draco sounded desperate, his eyes looked at you pleadingly.

“I know, Draco. And I don’t do so. But what I also know is that I fight for the things I love. For the people I love. And you happen to be one of them. So how could I ever let you go without even trying?”

“You don’t know what you get yourself into.”, Draco mumbled.

“Maybe I don’t. But I know it´s worth it. You are worth it.”

The blond boy sighed.

“I can´t talk you out of this now, can I?”

You smiled at him superiorly.

“Not now and not ever.”

There was a small spark of hope shimmering in the boy´s eyes, which were clouded with worry, as he looked at you.

“Are you sure about this?”

You nodded eagerly.

“I´ve never been so sure about anything. I´ve made loads of decisions this year I didn’t know whether they were right or wrong. But I know this isn’t one of them.”

And when you pulled Draco into a tight embrace and he buried his face in the crook of your neck, he intuitively knew that you were right.

For sure, what the two of you had was far from perfect and both of you knew that the worst was probably yet to come. But in the end, you had each other and for now, this was everything you needed. And you, as well as Draco, highly doubted that this would ever change.

Taglist: @xodracomalfoyxo @marigold-morelli @army24—7 @lbhmoon @cappgyuccino @writingwitch007 @myomy0ss @tinafuentes

#draco malfoy #draco x reader #draco x female reader #draco x you #draco x y/n #draco fluff #draco angst #draco fanfiction #draco fic #harry potter #hermione granger #pansy parkinson #gryffindor #gryffindor reader #slytherin #fanfic

[theerurishipper]

Have you seen the Miraculous Movie on Netflix? If so, what’s your opinion about it?

Hi!

I've written my thoughts about the movie in this post. But to sum it up, I enjoyed it! It wasn't groundbreaking or anything like that, and it has a few glaring flaws to me (it was pretty rushed, etc.), but it was a fun experience. I liked the different takes on the characters. They are pretty different from the characters in the show, but I enjoyed the fresh characterization. I don't think comparisons between the show and the movie should really be made, because the characters are so different. Adrien especially, because his arc in the show is finding his self-worth and breaking free from an abusive father, and his arc in the movie is about overcoming grief and learning to open up to others. We can of course discuss which was better between the show and movie from a writing and narrative standpoint, but conceptually both Adriens are different and it's unfair to compare the two. Personally, I felt Movie!Adrien was respected a lot more by his narrative than Show!Adrien, whose ending was him being gaslit into loving his abuser, but I digress.

I've been seeing some hate for Movie!Adrien, and I don't get it at all. He's not a douchebag, he's my baby. He's my little son, and I love him. Here are some pictures of him.

He's so cute, and he listens to Careless Whisper unironically. How can you not love him?

(On the other end, I've been seeing some people say he has more personality than Show!Adrien, who is only ever perfect, and that is also patently untrue. The narrative may have fucked him over really badly, but he still has a distinct personality and character. I will not tolerate slander of my son. Either of them. I still like Show!Adrien better, but they are both my babies and I love them both.)

Anyway, I also liked how Gabe wasn't an abusive asshole in this movie. As much as I think Show!Gabe works until he fucking won, it's just refreshing to see Gabe actually love his family and not be a piece of complete shit. Marinette's arc was also pretty decent. Overall, the movie was an enjoyable, fun experience. I prefer the show overall (if you exclude Season 5 and some parts of Season 4), but I did like the movie. It isn't the best story in terms of writing, but it is literally my fanfiction dreams come to life and I love that. Also, it's visually phenomenal and I would rewatch it again and again just for that.

And most importantly, this movie was for the Ladynoir stans first and foremost. They carried this movie and no I will not take constructive criticism on that.

Thank you for your ask!

#MLB #Miraculous Ladybug #Adrien Agreste #Marinette Dupain Cheng #Gabriel Agreste #Chat Noir #Ladybug #Adrienette #Ladynoir #ML Awakening #ML Movie #Meta #My meta #Asks

[swallowtailed]

palisade 28!

first of all, the intro—loved it. honoring black screen, reclaiming rhythm, acknowledging that post-combustor it still doesn’t feel like anything’s changed, but pushing forward anyway… (also i am so curious about this pirate rap station. who are the other hosts?? what are their shows like??)

i know the particular game of the interview scene was that brnine couldn’t gain any rhetorical ground, but ali absolutely slayed. incredible rp. truly a horrifying situation and brnine still landed some fantastic lines.

also want to make some sort of comparison to fever-dream and nightmare sequences—not quite sure what to call it, but i’m thinking of the kind of scene where a delirious character seems to hallucinate old arguments. coming under judgment, past and present blurring. (and how do we understand what it means to leave palisade?)

“stolen cameo” is a cool ship name but it became much funnier when it was revealed that they had kidnapped brnine to put them on tv

the question i had during that sequence was what’s asepsis doing while brnine’s in prison, and by the end of the episode i still had that question but even more so. what… the fuck! (also, didn’t brnine have some drones with them? does asepsis know where they are???)

eclectic opposition is The keith character name lmao. that’s just all of them already

jokes aside this character rips and i’m so excited for more terrible sleuth energy. black sequined poncho. “eclectic, and easily.” i have such a soft spot for noir aesthetics pasted over another genre. also very excited to dig into why all these hooks are “leap says”.

brief reflection on crew dynamics in brnine’s absence: figure stepped up, thisbe stepped in. which is really cool to see for both of them. figure took the lead in the scene and called the meeting to order, which really speaks to their freedom and confidence post-clem. thisbe didn’t do that, despite being technically in command, but she redirected the conversational dynamic in the way brnine might’ve tried to (her telling cori that vaping is bad for you is maybe my new favorite thisbe line… okay, no, it’s still second to “spoilers, corn is a grass”, but it’s up there.) 

really excited for figure’s plotline! talking to gur, seeing ghosts everywhere, bringing partial palisade onboard—they’ve leveled up and i’m so here for it. (also thinking about the past bleeding into the present, or maybe it’s better to understand that as a sort of recognition of continuity—same people, only changed. (which appeared a few times in this episode.) anyway, no new life can free you from your past, etc etc.)

also: partial palisade!!!! coming back onscreen!!!!!! we LOVE to see it

my main feeling after the latest faction turn was that somehow, post-combustor, nothing had actually changed. the blue channel got a huge win! the hugest! and then the cause went directly back to reacting to (and losing to) the authority, rather than actually making moves (cf outro of 25). i’m hoping we see more of a shift on the blue channel side, at least—it seems like the table is still set for that. having partial palisade on board could be really powerful (plotwise/thematically but maybe also mechanically). who knows—things could take a while to develop. (but also let’s drop another pillar!!!)

#fatt #palisade #palisade spoilers #hello world #fatt lb #hello we’re sneaking out of the woods a day early :)

[ghost-of-you]

Why do people feel the need to produce break up rumors out of thin air after every tour/album 🫥 the expectations of some people in this fandom are wild to me.

What do people think they should do? Even if it weren't for Michael's baby, they released an album last year and played two tours, of course they'll need some time to recharge now. Why would you expect new music or ANOTHER tour now already?

And they have not said or done anything that would indicate that they are thinking about breaking up and still people choose to be paranoid instead of putting some trust in them and just let them rest.

Idk maybe I'm the opposite of those people who are still traumatised by 1D or whatever but my other favourite band just had a 5 year gap between albums, they didn't play any live shows for like 4 of those years (partly bc of the pandemic od course) and the front man did a solo album + tour in the meantime. One other band member did some stuff as a producer and from like 2 of them I think I saw a total of 4 social media posts during that time lmao. I didn't see a single person worried that they would break up. That never came up as a possibility anywhere. And then I go to 5sos fandom spaces and people are freaking out when the band goes on a break because one of them will have to care for a damn newborn like please 💀

Sorry for ranting, I'm sure you have a lot of this stuff in your inbox now. No need to respond, I just needed to express to someone how truly baffled I am by this behaviour.

Honestly, I blame one direction for a large part of it. Obviously not the boys in 1D but the whole culture and the intensity around them. I like them but I was never in really invested in them so I did watch everything that happened from the outside and I keep seeing the effects of it. A lot of people did not handle their break up and since 5sos has this connection to them that ended bringing fans over to 5sos people get triggered. But it's bullshit because 5sos is a band that wanted to be the band they are. To act as if 5sos is doomed to follow 1Ds footsteps is stupid because 1D was a bunch of kids who didn't want to be in a band, who got put in a band package and explored until they broke. And all of them are doing the thing they wanted all along, which is be solo acts, so the comparison is not fair. You can't compare 5sos to the boyband curse, because they are no are not a boyband. And this is the dumbest argument ever but it is true, 5sos has a lot more freedom with each other to do other things while still keeping the 5sos project alive. Everything they do that's not exactly like the 17 yo posting keeks and doing twitcam from a mansion creating a constant stream of content creates a wave of mass histeria and honestly, I am so tired of it. Even if 5sos were about to take a decade long break, which I don't think they will, they like making music with each other too much to just stop, they can. They gave us over a third of their lives already. They are allowed different dreams.

Also I think there's this layer of desensitization surrounding famous people in general, that makes people not see them as real people with real feelings or see them as this character they get mad won't follow the script they made in their heads. And the whole way some parts of the music industry just want a really fast rotation that's not really possible and things like K-pop that end up having a higher rotation that creates a bigger stream of content that's not really sustainable in a healthy way for very long but creates a weird expectation anyway. And people think they're allowed to demand shit just because (and this goes from the temper tantrum for the lack of tour to the obnoxious hbg chanting)

5sos already did the killing themselves for the band. Now they live and have a band. I rather to see things this way. They are happy, they are thriving in other aspects of life. If that means waiting another 2, 3, 5, 10 years for new music, so be it. To use 5sos own metaphor, they're driving the bus, we're just along for the ride so whatever stops and turns they want is what goes. They can do whatever they want because is their life and it's their band. And I'm not worried they're gonna break up. Not even a little bit. If not seeing them for a year while Michael settles into being a father is what it takes for them to be happy and healthy, then so be it, let them exist outside the band.

#i had a longer more elaborate answer typed but tumblr ate it #anon i wish more people thought like you #also people out there if youre seriously this distressed over it. if your well being relies this heavily on something you cant control #get help. im saying this on the most kind way possible. one thing you cant control shouldn't control you like this #you can love something but the second it starts to take over you need to take a step back #but this is not the point here #and you're good im just blocking the annoying people skspskpaakpska #anon 😌 #i was asked

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Hello! I love your Eleutherophobia fics and as I was reading them, I couldn't help but notice the similarities between the themes with Tom/ex-hosts and the themes in The Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes from marvel. Out of curiosity, have you ever thought about the comparison between those two characters in their respective fandoms?

Hell yes. I mentioned in a different post that Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail by Owlet is one of the fics that most influenced my own writing. That series is narrated (un-narrated?) by Bucky Barnes, and it has the coolest use of experimental writing I've ever seen in a fic series.

What I mean by un-narrated: there are almost no personal pronouns at all in the first ~70% of the first story. It's almost all passive voice. So, for example

Mission imperative pounds in the Asset’s chest, takes the form of increased pulse rate and respiration, a tightening of the throat. Backup is required to protect the objective’s lungs.

as a way of conveying "I got Steve out of the river but now he's dry-drowning and I'm freaking out." Like half the sentences in the fic have no subject at all, and most of the other half have these super-detached ways of referring to Bucky ("The Asset", "mission head"). By all logic it shouldn't work — presumably Owlet learned in school not to use passive voice, just like the rest of us — and yet it goddamn well does.

Because the most important rule of creative writing isn't "show don't tell"; it's "form follows function." If your character's out of breath, use short-sharp sentences. If your character's in a dream state, use long flowing ones. If your character's making love then tell us with highfalutin enchantment; if your character's fucking then use smutty cheek. If your character is experiencing something totally fictional — they got put into a sci fi machine that took out their identity — then why not convey that with a jarring lack of self-reference in their thought stream.

The early chapters' lack of self-reference gradually starts to change, as The Asset formerly known as Bucky discovers through the power of coffee and protection (as promised!) that his old identity is gone but he can still forge a new one. One of my favorite details is that the narration gradually starts calling him Barnes, but the narrator himself remains indifferent on the subject — Steve calls him "Bucky," Jarvis calls him "Sergeant," Nat calls him "James," his neighbors call him "Jimmy" — and he only freezes up when people ask him what he prefers to be called, because he doesn't want to decide.

Anyway, I don't do anything that extreme in my own fic. But I do play around with breaking the rules. (E.g. I know it's ungrammatical to use phrases like "my eyes searched" or "my arm reached" — but if it'd be inaccurate to say "I reached" then form follows function.) And I'm a lot more comfortable putting experimental writing into fic than I would be if I hadn't read Owlet's work. Ascribing agency to limbs is probably my most consistent rule-break, but I also have a whopper of a run-on sentence in "How I Live Now" and a bunch of deliberately-unclear dialogue in "Ladybird, Ladybird." And you're not wrong, nonny: I owe a ton of that to Bucky, but mostly to Owlet's interpretation of the character.

#animorphs #eleutherophobia #infinite coffee and protection detail #writing #fan fiction #owlet #fic #form follows function #bucky barnes #winter soldier #this you protect #'Take THAT Dr. W!' I mutter under my breath as I ascribe agency to yet another limb. #'You told me not to BUT you also told me all sci fi is trite garbage' #which is a hell of a stance from a professor #whose best-selling book is goddamn Star. Wars. Fan. Fiction.

[tokuteasings]

the moon glows, dawn breaks, the sun shines

This was roughly written ages ago, around the...10+(ish) eps of Kingohger. Around Rita's ep I think. Idk man.

At the behest of everyone, I decided to post this fic because it's one of the few I'm proud of.

If people like it, I'll maaaybe get more confident to post more but uhhh...

yeah...

imma hide now bye

S/I info: Syne is a dancer born in Ishabana, childhood friends with Himeno but has since gone out to explore the world and spread the beauty of her dancing with a troupe. She actually settled in Gokkan after getting snowed in there while dancing for Rita and they are smoochy smoochy. Anyway bc I love myself, Syne has 2 hands and she's kissing both Rita and Himeno-

No matter how cold it gets. No matter how it piles up around them, freezing them to the bones until there is nothing left to decorate their body.

No matter how much they want to crumble under the weight of the world that never once showed a shred of care.

Rita Kanisuka stands. Alone. As it always has been. Solemn solace against the pillars of winter, blanketing everything in snow and death, they are used to this. Being alone means nothing to them. And yet… And yet…

When the sun caresses their cheeks - red from the singing, stinging snow - it is warmer than it has ever been.

The solar system’s grand grace never stood a chance against the one who stands in front of them, luring them into this lull, an embrace unlike anything that they have ever felt before. Moffun’s own warm arms felt frigid in comparison to this…

“What are you doing?” the king doesn’t glare - they never could to this little dancing, dreaming mothling who holds her moon in her hands - but merely stares. Little insects drawn to one another’s light. Rita to the warm sun, to lap up even a bit of honey from the lips of the worldly dancer. Syne to the cold moon, to bask in the beauty and gently shoo away those new moons and phases and share her light. 

“I just want to hold you.” she smiles oh so sweetly, shining upon Rita’s moonlit face. “I just want to make sure you’re warm.” The king doesn’t speak, closing their eyes - one of purple, one of steely silver - and stills. Heat is spreading through their body from the sun’s gentle kiss to their skin.

The moon glows because the sun shines upon them.

The sun shines because the moon supports them.

Dawn breaks, dusk dances, the moon glows, and the sun shines. And to Rita, this is all they needed. 

#tale's lil peeps #rita kaniska #kingohger #ohsama sentai kingohger #syne: to the dancing and the dreaming #witness the secret tomes #i guess thats the self indulgent stuff #self insert oc