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glassrowboat · 2 days

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I Grew Up

Summary: Before Jing Yuan was the general of the Luofu, he was just another kid who would play with wooden swords and bugs; a menace who was always ready to prove himself as a Cloud Knight. And besides him? A girl from the Alchemy Commission who was always ready to annoy him in his endeavors.

Warnings: Mentions of war, gore, death, there is an NSFW part (when both characters are adults), so fingering, smut

Word count: 11,300+

A loud, cheery voice called out “one, seventeen, five hundred and seventy two,” as a blade swung in the air. The rustle of clothes coming with each move, every practiced hit to a non existent enemy having a random number sang out into the air to match it. No chirping bird nestled in the trees to be had as the source of the voice had long since scared them all away. “Nine hundred and ninety nine, fifty six!”

And with each shout Jing Yuan was repeating the number he was actually on in his head, trying not to let a certain annoyance distract him as she has done so many times before. (Y/n)’s antics just as familiar as the spot he found himself training in. Cracked stones with bits of moss growing between the once upon a time smooth concrete, a red tree providing shade from the blaring sun, and a bench only five feet away currently supporting a girl with her hands to her mouth, trying to echo out each word.

“Sixty nine! Two thousand one hundred and five!”

Her green dress was tell enough that this girl was from the alchemy commission, but they both already knew that, the details of swirling clouds so unlike the ones above the two providing shade. A shadow cast out over the courtyard helping keep the air just cool enough that a light breeze would have anyone considering fetching a sweater. Well, anyone not in the middle of a training session.

“You are being a nuisance.”

Per usual.

Bringing his sword back up to practice another swing Jing Yuan tried his best to ignore the taunting words just begging him to chase her around the small space, again. “Oh, big word for a little guy. Jingliu teach you that one recently?”

“What if she did? Master is-”

“Three hundred eighty six.”

“Master is-”

“Seventy nine.”

With a clamor Jing Yuan drops his sword in a way one could compare it to a knight getting his weapon knocked out of his hand in the heat of battle. A daunting enemy above him threatening to end his life with their own blade as he scurried to fetch it back in time before that looming presence, a terrifying face about to become the last thing his ten year old self sees. So like a prince charming in a fairy tale, his fingers would grasp the worn down hilt from the shape of his hand just in the knick of time, blocking the enemy’s strike. A triumphant hero. Except it was the complete opposite. The sword just fell to the ground from a slip of Jing Yuan’s fingers.

“Smooth moves, Yuan.”

“If you hadn't distracted me.”

“And what cloud knight is supposed to lose his weapon because a chicka said a few words?”

Jing Yuan had to stop himself from biting on the inside of his cheek or maybe even a scoff just so he could get out: “any knight should know that sometimes you will lose your weapon in combat and what really matters is what I do next.”

Like he could grab a hidden dagger! Or….”I could just take the blade of a defeated foe.”

“Like what? Those giant ones the mara use?” (Y/n) held a hand up above her head, waving it in the air to call extra attention to it, a habit from waiting to be called on in class after listening to someone drone on for hours at a time about the medicinal properties of lily of the valley or something of the like. “I've seen those before, and they're taller than both you and I, so good luck! You'd have to spin around in circles just to give the blade any force behind it.”

A small giggle fell from her lips as she pretended to swing a giant blade, mocking the same way she would see Jing Yuan use his own.

‘Just what in the world is she imagining?’

“Just admit it, evolution didn't choose you, short stuff. So you'll just be a knight in training even when you're five hundred years old.”

‘As if!’

Picking his blade back up Jing Yuan slid it away in its designated sheathe with a satisfying click, the glare from the metal no longer reflecting on the ground beneath him as the sun peaked out from behind the clouds. “I told you that I'm going to be taller than you one day. Besides, you're only four inches taller than me, that isn't a lot.”

“I feel like I can make a joke here but it might go over your head.”

“Nope! Nope!” Not wanting to hear it, Jing Yuan smacked his hands to his ears. Maybe it would be enough to block out her shrill voice even as (Y/n) got closer to try and pull them off and out of place. “Just because you had to earn about that stuff for your studies doesn't mean I want to hear it. Not again. Mom already gave me the talk and it was awful!”

“You're such a kid.”

“She was talking about things with things and wouldn't let me leave until I repeated it back to her.” Right after he had run to go try and wash his ears out by dunking his head in the water can outside his home in hopes of the water knocking the words loose.

“You're not helping your case here.”

“It doesn't matter! That stuff like kissing other people the way mom and dad do is so not on my agenda. That can be saved for your princess stories and other girly stuff.”

“Oh yeah?” A little grin curled at the corners of her lips, most likely due to having another retort right on the tip of her tongue. (Y/n) even got out the words “then why are you so huffy over this stuff” before being cut off with little to no mercy by a loud call of her name. A man’s voice shouting for the girl again and again, only drawing nearer with each passing second. “Shit! I-I mean shoot. Shoot.”

Dropping his hands he stood there watching the panic come to her face. Only slightly smug. “Sure you did.”

“You're not helping!”

Quickly her form ran over to the courtyard's many walls, green dress fluttering behind as those little legs scurried around in a panic. Her voice only picked up in speed as (Y/n) tried to get the situation out, and understood, as fast as possible. “Yuan, I have to go right now. I left without permission again.”

‘Of course she did. Probably to get out of those talks about being switched out to advanced classes.’

“Hoist me up!”

“And why should I? You've been doing nothing but trying to get under my skin this entire time.”

Again, another call of her name sounded. Haize’s voice becoming clearer and clearer. A man Jing Yuan had only come across in passing when trying to drag a certain nuisance into playing with him. Or, a better way to put it, (Y/n)’s master.

“You motherf- I'll owe you!” Her hands were scrambling at the bricks on the wall, trying to find just the right ones to use for purchase. As if that's how scaling a flat wall would work, like rock climbing. Sure. “Just help me up or for the Reignbow Arbiter sake!”

He couldn't help the chuckle he was trying, and failing, to fight back from escaping, not with how quickly she did a 180. From teasing the life out of him (per usual) to now looking like she would plead like her life is on the line. Though with master Haize it was hard to tell, he could very well deal out writing the same sentence a thousand times over worse. At least that's one of the lighter one's Jing Yuan has heard about.

‘One shall not leave the alchemy commission without permission’ with each ‘I’ dotted with one of her hastily drawn hearts.

“Why should I? I think this is simply karma.” Despite his words Jing Yuan was already coming over to help, eyes going up and down the wall to figure out the best way to go about it.

“You little- I'll owe you, okay?”

“I know you will.”

And just like those five years ago, when they were both kids running amok trying to help one of them escape from an unjust punishment, (Y/n)’s shoe fell between his interlocked hands to his shoulder as she managed to swing a leg over gray tiles of the walls roofing. Admittedly it was a bit of a blessing that at least this time she didn't have to step on his head to get that proper step up. Last time that left a good mark of dirt in what was otherwise Jing Yuan's pure white hair as she scrambled away with a wide eyes scanning over the courtyard like she was expecting her master to pop out of thin air and a quick “see ya!”

Now though? (Y/n) was looking down at him from up high, her hand held out to help him up to follow her.

“And why are we sneaking into one of the alchemy commissions gardens when you have full access to go here?” This entire thing didn't really make sense to him, but here he was playing along even as the scent of flowers hit Jing Yuan in a way that was comparable to a woman accidently spraying her perfume in your face.

“Because, esteemed Jing Yuan, you're not allowed back here. And we have to do something to celebrate you officially becoming a cloud knight.”

Grabbing her hand the very same ‘esteemed knight’ pulled himself up and along beside her with very little help besides a tug or two to his blue sleeves. The uniform he now gets the privilege to wear with a red ribbon Jing Yuan ties around his waist every morning with pride after years of work and swinging that same blade over and over again. He swears that if he took a moment to just sit there and close his eyes while this menace of a woman jumps down into the garden below that he could feel the grip in his palm.

That is until his eyes shoot open as he hears a grunt and sees her figure kneeling on the ground, one of her hands brushing dirt off her face. Failing at that too, but for now she doesn't need to know that.

“Smooth moves.”

“Shut it.”

Jumping down after her, in a proper landing, Jing Yuan helps her up as (Y/n) huffs.

“But my point still stands, cloud knight.” Knocking a hand against his chest she turned back to the garden before them. An array of colors. Each petal is like a brush stroke on a canvas. “You got to your big goal, so we should celebrate.”

“Many of the other trainees after getting accepted were shooting the breeze with shaoxing glasses in their hands, and you choose a flower field you know like the back of your hand to take me to?”

“Fine, don't appreciate it. But I at least thought it would be nice. It's been a while since you've been allowed back here after you ruined a flower bed.”

“And last I recall you're the one that pushed me into said flower bed.”

“Anyway-” trying and failing to hide her laughter at what was most likely the memory of tripping Jing Yuan straight into a pile of dirt and seeds before her fellow classmates (Y/n) bent down so she could properly look at the blossoms before her. She probably knew every little detail about that flower, but Jing Yuan couldn't place it as anything more than just another pink one.

‘Anyway, she says.’

“Since when did it hurt to stop and smell the roses? Besides, if anyone catches us I'm just here….getting a few herbs I need to dry out for a project I have planned out. The number in my dorm has been dwindling.”

Moving besides her he sat down on the wooden walk set up to make sure no one would repeat his mistake so many years ago of mistaking where the path ended and patch started. At least that's the lie this one who thinks proper decor is bottles full of potions ultimately decided on before their scolding began. Jing Yaun’s boots making a hefty clunk as he settled down.

“And not even a drink to be had?”

“Yuan, wait until you're older. I shouldn't have to go over the repercussions of drinking before your prefrontal lobe has fully matured with you. I'll do it too.” Another huff. “It's very important for you not to touch a drop before your behavioral patterns-”

“Is this you talking or the lessons you've learned, prodigy?”

“Ha. Ha. Ha.”

Plucking one of the flower's petals off she held the fragile thing up, studying the veins as she held it up to the full moon. The only source of proper lighting to be had when neither of you could afford to turn on the ones for the garden without being caught. Who knows what trouble could be had for you two from this even with her supposed foolproof excuse for being here.

“Carnations. You've probably seen a few as decorations at those fancy tea houses, the ones we've seen those Foxian ladies favoring so much. These can be used for their anti-inflammatory properties if you're in short supply of the normal pain meds the commission makes. A poor substitution in my book, but it's best to always have something extra on hand just in case.”

Raising his hands up Jing Yuan brings them together a few times in a short round of applause. She always did look so intense when bent over work tables with mixtures of all sorts at her fingertips, eyebrows knit together just as they are now. “You really do sound like a proper healer when you go off about this. Shame I know you for mainly cussing when you stub your toe.”

“A lady is allowed to express herself!”

“‘Lady.’”

“‘Cloud knight.’”

“You can't use that on me anymore now that it's true.”

It takes a moment, her eyes on him in silence before finally relenting and muttering a short “touche” he almost missed.

Taking the petal from those hands lacking the calloused his have Jing Yuan pinched it softly, trying to view the one little piece of life the same way she seemed to. A well of endless possibilities that could be made into something more than just a woman's perfume. “Say, I think it's time I cash in one of the many favors you owe me.”

“And what favor do I owe you, big guy?”

“Ah, someone's still petty I grew taller than them.” Chuckling Jing Yuan looked up from the petal to a face that still had the slightest smear of dirt on its cheek, barely seen in this lowlight. “What happened to those precious three inches you had on me?”

“It was four.”

“Three inches.”

“Well, it's perfectly normal for a young man to be tall. If anything it's just a sign you were able to grow up strong and healthy despite all the times you slid your fried cabbage on my plate.”

Something she had let him do on multiple occasions as they shared a table at either the alchemy commission when everything was stuffed full of nutrients and seemingly without a sprinkle of sugar or at his family home as Jing Yuan’s mom always slipped them an extra dessert whenever (Y/n) was over.

“Well, uh…”

‘Okay, it seems we're getting off track here.’

“You owe me for helping you escape Haize when you were thirteen.”

“No, I gave you my desserts for a week in recompense. It's been paid off already, Yuan. Try again.”

Huh. Tilting his head at that his eyes rolled up to the star covered sky. The Luofu was on its night cycle meaning they could properly see the galaxy beyond the blue hue and clouds that would be overcast during the day time.

“It's pretty, isn't it?” A hand pushed his shoulder, not nearly enough to knock Jing Yuan down to the wooden path but it had him rocking in place for a moment. Tall but lanky as a certain healer had described him, right after saying he needs to eat more, then he'd properly fill out once he ages up and grows out of the awkward teenage phase. “Just say what you want. I'm fine with you owing me for once.”

“Of course you are.”

And of course he shoved her shoulder right back.

“Can you tell me what it's like to see a mara-struck up close? If I'm to meet one in combat I should know what I'm going into, and master Jingliu can only help so much.”

‘Master has only one perspective.’

“Good to know you're not so over confident that you're rushing into battle with your sword raised for a charge. I didn't know you had a brain in there.”

“Seriously? You- Just back to my question.” Jing Yuan snapped.

“Okay. Fine. Impatient much. The thing is with your question…It's simply not a fair comparison.” She took a moment, eyes going from between him to the flowers that surrounded them. Lavender, marigolds, chrysanthemums, and so so many more. A field. And if he asked Jing Yuan was sure (Y/n) could tell him the scientific names of each one without issue. “The one's I deal with are primed for dissection, not for a fight.”

A sigh.

“But, it's not pleasant. Master had me- let me try again. You know those gingko leaves that tree in the courtyard you used to always train in? How would they slowly turn from green to yellow only to fall off soon after?”

“I would always be tasked with cleaning them up. Part of my ‘due diligence’ and training in patience. I'm pretty sure though it was just master Jingliu not wanting to clean it up herself.”

“Well,” a small giggle came from her at that, “someone needed to do it. And if I caught you sweeping I'd always fetch a broom and spend the afternoon helping you catch up on chores.”

‘And she would always hold it over my head after.’

“I loved gingko leaves when we were younger, because they made me think of you and those moments where we were threatening to hit each other over the head with those old brooms that probably couldn't even handle a single strike. I would pick one out from the dustpan and keep it stored away in one of the many pots in my room. Like they were precious.”

“Is rambling included at this time to stop and smell the roses?” He couldn't help the little grin that came to him, lips quirked up at the edges with absolutely no effort to stop it.

“Don't interrupt me if you're the one who wants an answer. No lecturer wants a student that can't shut their fucking trap.”

“Okay, okay.” Raising his hands in surrender was automatic at this point after hearing just that pissed off voice alone. “Go on, teacher.”

“Thank you. For the Reignbow Arbiter’s sake. So,” (Y/n) clapped her hands together, calling attention to herself despite the fact Jing Yuan was already paying more than enough to her, “back to my point.”

“The thing is…After my first dissection, even with master Haize watching over the entire procedure, I couldn't look at the mara-struck all at once. I was supposed to dissect it like a frog, something I've done dozens of times before, but I couldn't even just take a step back to look at the thing properly. It was a task to be objective.”

‘Couldn't look at them? Was it someone she once knew?’

“When I finally did it was at the end of the process when the master said I could wash off, and there I stood by the sink with those stupid blue rubber gloves covered in the coagulated blood of a dead body and gingko leaves.”

“I couldn't think about them the same way anymore.” Her head dropped. Eyes downcast on the very hands that had cut and opened up what was essentially, or at least should be, a corpse. “The abominations are so different from us, Yuan.”

“I know.”

Even the thought of those creatures could ruin a night like this it seems, one full of their usual antics and trouble seeking habits. The mara-struck, an inevitable fate for all Xianzhou natives if death doesn't take them first.

“Maybe you were right, maybe a drink to go with this night of celebration would have been better. Then we could be cheering about something stupid and-”

His hand was raised, reaching out to her, only stopping midway when (Y/n) glanced up at him with a disapproving stare; most likely for interrupting her or getting caught off track despite all the times she's done so to him. “And you were just getting on my case about it earlier too. Frontal lobe..something or another.” And he wiped the dirt he had been letting stick to her without a word off. The grainy texture is a sharp contrast to her own smooth skin.

“You- how long has that been there without you telling me?”

“Since you fell off the wall.”

“I didn't fall, I jumped.”

“Are you sure about that, prodigy?”

She swatted his hand away, much like she was dealing with a pesky bug flying around near her ear.

“I hope you know that when you get hurt on the field, and you inevitably will because all you knights do at one point, they will bring you back to me. When that happens, I will make sure that whatever injury you acquired will somehow end in my fellow healers being convinced they need to chop one of your limbs off due to risk of infection. You will be at my mercy, Jing Yuan.”

‘Great, another threat.’

She's made hundreds of threats since the moment they met varying from some that had Jing Yuan stumbling over himself in shock to wondering if the best she could do was smack him over the head. Especially when he's still getting taller. Who knows, maybe one of those days she'll have to ask him to lean down for her just to be met with a solid hit to the head. The thought alone had him laughing.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Hey! What's so funny you two bit bitch?”

“You don't need to worry about it.”

Taking one of those pink carnations Jing Yuan plucked the stem from the ground, not bothering to mind the dirt when his fingers were already dusted with it. Fragile petals and a soft hue. It truly was just a flower in his eyes, but somehow it looked like more than that as he tucked it behind (Y/n)’s ear as she scolded him for picking something without permission.

It was two years later Jing Yuan found himself holding a bouquet of the very same flowers after toiling over the best way to do this for hours, but they seemed only fitting. The shop owner he bought them from was nice enough to wrap them in those sheets of paper used for…well, decoration? And a red ribbon much like the very one in his hair.

The only difference being from when he bought them ten minutes ago to now is how the long stems had been wrangled as he clutched them tight in his sweating hand.

And her, staring up at them.

“Happy Luofu alliance day to you too.”

“You're all the way out here instead of joining in on the festivities?”

Papers were scattered all around her like a blanket on the grass, some clearly torn out from their notebooks as pages were frayed at the ends and others were slightly yellowed from years of use and spills of what is most likely more than just coffee stains. Scribbled notes that had Jing Yuan careful not to step on one and leave a footprint behind (for fear of being scolded, again) as he caught glimpses of diagrams, highlighted margins, and sketches of organs as he walked closer to her.

“There will be countless more years to spend in the Dragonvista Rain Hall. For now, I want to spend my one free day organizing my notes.” As she spoke (Y/n) lifted up the notebook that had been on her lap in the air.

“Your ‘one free day’ being a holiday you're required to take off.”

‘Yet here she is working.’

Glancing up Jing Yuan’s eyes fell on the tree she was sitting under. Foliage far from dense enough to keep the occasional sun beam peaking through the leaves as they cast golden rays on her green dress; still wearing her alchemy commission uniform, even now.

“Did you not have to be dragged to classes once kicking and screaming?”

She would even cling onto his arm, shouting for the future cloud knight to protect the poor damsel in distress from the fearsome bad guy. That being Haize as he plucked her up from the ground and carried her out of the courtyard like a disgruntled cat. Jing Yuan’s ear would be ringing for the rest of the day, but it was always worth it seeing her so pissed off after purposefully being a frustrating little brat. Teasing him like no tomorrow.

“Times change, Yuan.” She said, her words full of laughter. “Though, I did see this poster earlier about some foxian theater troupe putting on a performance. Epic of the Old Verdant House, if I remember it right.”

“That explains why we can hear drum chanting all the way out here.”

A melodic beat full of energy that matched the chatter of the crowds down below. From here he could see the lanterns hanging off of every pillar they could and tops of tents full of wares with people being waved in to 'come and see what we're selling, benefactors.’

“Sure does….say, I'm surprised you have the day off. Shouldn't an esteemed cloud knight be going around patrolling the streets to help keep the peace? I thought you'd jump at the chance to try and show your dedication, yet here you are not even in uniform.”

Standing there in everyday wear without a single piece of armor Jing Yuan shifted his hanfu sleeve, the fabric stretching only to fall back as he let go. It wouldn't hinder him, but it certainly wasn't his usual garb.

“I switched out my shift with that kid you helped last week.” Though she had many patients. It wouldn't surprise him if (Y/n) had forgotten about the event entirely. Things do tend to start blurring together when it's the same day after day, or at least that's what she says. “The one who got all bruised up in training, Aiguo?”

She hummed at that, seemingly to take a moment to recall. “The blond? For a cloud knight he sure does bruise easily.”

“He does…” The flowers in his hand were only wrangled up further as this conversation continued. This was besides the point. “So, rewriting your old notes then instead of going to that performance? I might have to grab a rose so you're forced to stop and smell them.”

Her eyes flicked up to him and he had to grip onto those already wrangled stems even harder to keep himself from simply choking the words out in his haste. A few white knuckles were easy enough to stand in favor of making this right.

“It's a better use of my time then watching you try and catch a goldfish at one of those scooping games again. I'm pretty sure by the time you were out of credits to waste away the vendor and I had become dear friends.”

He couldn't help but raise a brow at that. The only reason he was trying so hard in the first place was because only a week before she was forced to get rid of her pet scorpion. Ingredients had been found in her dorm by a supervisor, and after an apparently long meeting, it was determined the thing had to go despite her begging to just let him stay in the alchemy commission.

“It was rigged.” He said, slightly shrugging as he did so.

“All carnival games are rigged. That's the point.”

‘True, but at least it got her laughing. Even if it was at my expense.’

“Or, and hear me out on this, Yuan. It could also be that you just suck.”

“Thank you, so much.”

“Oh you're so very welcome.” Picking some of the sheets of paper up she tucked them between the pages of her notebook. Brand new but it was already covered in dirty fingerprints. No doubt from her collecting samples to tie into the pages as he could already see some of her old notes with a dried out jimson weed (if he recalled the name correctly) pinned down with thin metal wire keeping it in place. “I just don't have the time to do this any other day.”

“So.” stepping in closer to her spot under the tree Jing Yuan kneeled before her, making sure they were eye to eye even if she wasn't paying him the same amount of attention he was her. “If I asked you to come down and watch me struggle to catch you another fish?”

“And do you have the credits to spend on something so lavish?”

“I can spare a few.”

“I…I'm busy. I want to get this done.”

“And I can get you some osmanthus jelly.” Lifting the bouquet up, Jing Yuan held it up to her, the end of the red ribbon softly swaying from the movement. “You preach to me the importance of taking a break but you can't take one yourself?”

“You know I hate when you use my words against-”

And her words were drowned out by the loud sound of an engine, of a starskiff racing on by as fast as it could go. A familiar sound that would normally have Jing Yuan nodding to himself at the sight, taking in the beauty of such skilled piloting, but right now it only had him spitting out hair from his mouth as it whipped right into his face. White filled his vision as papers flew before his very eyes. A specimen of belladonna seen for only a moment before it trailed off, caught in the strong breeze the ship kicked up.

“No! No, no, no!”

Like confetti the notes she had spent years on flew away. Not even her hands snatching to grab anything proved fruitful as she scrambled up to pluck anything from the blue sky. Her fingertips barely grazed a sheet completely covered in yellow marker over the written margins before it fell to the crowd below.

Multiple people down below dressed in their finest attire, the festival masks, and waving their fans to keep cool in the generated heat of the Luofu's system were caught looking up and around them as the notes fell all around them. Ranging from the rooftops to the streets as those years she spent were tread over with little to no care, like they were nothing more than posters advertising something or another, as (Y/n) whined at the sight.

“Fuck!”

As Jing Yuan pulled the last bits of hair from his mouth he could see her flipping off the direction the pilot flew off in, even as it was long gone.

“Fuck you you punk ass bitch! Come back here before I shove a catheter up your dick!”

“Interesting insult.”

Grabbing a sheet of parchment from the branches of the tree, only a few of them stuck in there, Jing Yuan held it out to her.

“I hate this fucking household.”

Sighing Jing Yuan looked back at the paper in his hand as she just pouted at the sight of it. There goes his chance to confess it seems. Another day then.

“Come on prodigy, I'll help you find everything we can. It doesn't matter if it means spending the entire Alliance day peaking into alleyways or climbing over crates.”

“Just another favor I'll owe you.” She grabbed the paper from him as she spoke, fingers going over that messy handwriting that was no doubt scrawled down in a rush to get everything in her mind to a proper record. “Years of work.”

“No, there's no….”

‘No need for a favor.’

“Actually.” The flowers were over by the tree now, forgotten in the midst of what just happened, but did he really need them right now? Sure, this wasn't how Jing Yuan had been wanting this to go down, but what did those hours before the mirror practicing what to say as his friend, a fellow Cloud Knight, mean in retrospect when she was pouting like this? “I'd like to cash in that favor now. I’m going to ask you something and I don't want you to immediately say no. Take your time to think about it.”

“Now that's a big ask.” She said, grip tightening a little bit more to the point the paper started to crinkle under her touch. Maybe she was worried it would grow wings and fly away on her too.

“I know.”

Grabbing her hand, careful to make sure his actions did not tear anything, Jing Yuan squeezed it softly. She had no calluses made from the efforts of swinging a blade, of wielding a weapon. No, they were soft from the amount of lotion she used from always applying some after washing her hands again and again once she was done making some new medication or concoction or another thing of the like. Somehow that made it all the easier to hold her just like this.

“The next Alliance festival, I want to go together not as friends, or two people trying to find your notes, but as eachothers date.”

“No.”

“Now that's not taking your time-”

“Ask me again later, when I'm in a better mood; and pick an event that will happen sooner than a once a year festival.”

‘Oh…. Oh!’

Squeezing her hand a bit tighter Jing Yuan asked: “will you go on a date with me sometime this month? We will have to figure something out between your busy schedule, prodigy.”

“I said, ask me later.”

“Technically it was ‘later,’ just by a few seconds.”

“This is the worst confession I have ever heard and I've seen people proposing on the medical beds when one of them is so drugged they can't even understand what is being said to them.”

After a moment she added in, “you still have to help me find my notes though, then I'll say yes. And I want a better confession too, like in those romance books. Give me a whole speech.”

“Are you seriously asking me to study those girly novels of yours?”

“Yes. Or no dice.”

“I- fine.”

‘To believe that years ago I'd cringe at the thought, but here I am agreeing to it just to satisfy this bossy woman.’

“You're always a headache.”

Later that day, after spending hours combing the city to find every last sheet they could manage, Jing Yuan tied the red ribbon around her pinky, admiring how it showed she was his as (Y/n) told him she'd find the time in her busy schedule to squeeze in one little outing.

And it was that very same hand he tied a ribbon to, that he grasped that day, the very same day he played in his head again and again with a smile that could never leave him at the memory, that is now threaded through Jing Yuan’s hair.

Tugging. Pulling. Unapologetically leaving knots he'd have to comb out later.

“Patience.”

“You've been saying that for the past ten minutes, Yuan.”

The way her voice came out slightly strained had his lips tugging up. Soft little pants he was drawing out of her from those pretty lips he yearned to kiss right now even as his own were sliding along her naked thigh. Tongue just barely lolling out to leave a small lick before retreating once again.

She'd call him a tease. Has been, actually. But Jing Yuan couldn't barely help himself when seeing her like this.

Blankets pushed off to the side and barely hanging off the edge of the bed that was cast in only the low glow of a lamp on a desk nearby. One covered in glass bottles full of things he's been warned not to touch, and he knew well enough to listen. It was enough to have his fingers gleaming as he pulled them away again.

Much to someone's dismay.

“Stop being mean to me. Please.”

Jing Yuan only hummed in response, not minding her begging much as his teeth just barely dug into her skin; the idea of leaving a mark was so, very, tempting. To know that under her skirts in the days to come would be proof of this moment in the dark.

Her thigh tensed in response, muscles flexing before falling back to a relaxed state as his lips ran over the imprints of her underwear he had been pulling and tugging at earlier left. A garment discarded as soon as his head dipped between her thighs, yet here she was urging him to give her more.

‘How greedy.’

But he is too as Jing Yuan’s cock strains against its confines. Fabric he'd usually consider loose, breathable, and easy to move in suddenly betraying him with every shift of his hips against this old mattress. Barely providing anything friction as he breathes in the scent of sex. Of slick. Of her need for him.

Just that alone had his hips bucking forward.

His gaze moved from the way she sucked his fingers in as they slid back inside her with a wet squelch up to those half lidded eyes that flicked between him and the ceiling.

“Yua-”

A chuckle fell from him as she chased after him, her breath hitching and eyes falling closed as his tongue slid between those lips he's never had a proper chance to taste before, and oh what he would do to let those legs wrap around his fluffy white head and eat a meal he's never had before for hours just to find what would make her unravel beneath him.

Would she call his name in those final moments with her toes curled the way they are now? Would she be clinging onto the sheets with a knuckle white grip? Would her chest heave as he watches those breasts still red from being tugged and teased at fall with every breath?

Yes, they were both greedy.

“I know you're doing that on purpose.” She finally managed to say between her whines and attempt to stifle them away under her free hand.

“Am I now?”

That accusatory glance had Jing Yuan curling his fingers over a soft spot that felt different from the rest, spongy even, as he tried his best to act innocent. Not very convincing when his words are muffled by her pussy, but it was a try nonetheless.

“F-fuck…”

“I can't help but think you liked that.”

It was a wonder she wasn't trying to kick him in some way, but maybe that's just because with every movement of his fingers her head was being thrown back into the white covers.

“Where do you…how do you even know where that is?”

“This?” Jing Yuan asked, fingers crooking even more by just the slightest amount to brush over that spot inside of her again.

(Y/n) didn't need to know the real answer to that, not when she wouldn't let him live it down if she ever found out. She'd get on him until his ears turned pink and she'd only make it worse by pinching them and saying something like “oh sweetie, you're looking sick. Maybe we should take your temperature, yeah?”

So no, he'd keep the fact that one of her fellow students in the alchemy commission went around to all the guys he knew were in a relationship during the mess hall. Lunch hour as silverware clattered against those metal food service plates while some young lad with a diagram of all things pointed out…well...where to touch a woman in exchange for a hundred credits in turn.

Money well spent in his opinion if it had her looking at him like that. Glazed over eyes enough to have Jing Yuan wanting to press a kiss to those soft lips. To let her know just how she tastes.

“Maybe I'm just a natural; a prodigy just like you.”

Wouldn't that be nice? To know just where to touch her to have his name cried out like a prayer. The Reignbow Arbiter an afterthought to his fingers, but he was willing to give her the rest of their lives together to figure this out. To have her melt in his embrace on all the nights they will have, just like this one where she sneaked him into her dorms.

The door didn't even creak on their way in.

He didn't even stop to do anything more than lock the door before Jing Yuan had pulled (Y/n) into his arms. Hands playing with the fabric of that green dress as it traced over the

gold accents on her chest all the way up to the clasp keeping it shut as their lips met in hurried kisses. One after another as she tugged him along through the bedroom to help keep those heavy boots of his from accidently kicking and knocking over anything of importance as they found their way between boxes of files to the bed.

Designs of swirling mist made Jing Yuan feel like he was on cloud nine as they slid up her thighs.

She rolled her eyes as he asked about her underwear, wanting to know if it was just for him. If she anticipated this happening and wanted to look her best for him.

The thought was a sweet one.

But right now that pair was tossed off somewhere long forgotten as his face was covered in her slick, and hands forcing her legs apart as she writhed beneath him.

How long could he take without breathing in some more air? The thought only came to Jing Yuan as his ears buzzed the same way they would after staying too long underwater. (Y/n) his lake he would willingly jump in even if it drowned him.

“Pr-prodigy my ass.”

A kiss to her trembling thigh, eyes locking with hers.

“Are you saying I'm not doing a good job?”

“Not at all.”

‘Sure. She's so snarky even like this.’

A whine, a plea for more met him as Jing Yuan pulled his fingers out. The curve of her plush ass he wanted to squeeze and grope at again covered in spittle and arousal just like his mouth.

Maybe if she was in a sane enough mind she'd be saying something like it's been twelve minutes now. That is if she ever got the chance as he kissed her again. Body hovering over hers, taking note of just how small she looked under him.

How easy it was to grab her wrist and pull her flush against him.

Cock brushed against her through those damnable layers of clothes Jing Yuan wore that had his head burying away in her neck to take in the scent of herbs that clung to every piece of clothing she had. Trying to bite back a groan as he did his best not to rock against her in a frenzy, but it was (Y/n) who ran a hand along his bare back and whispered in their small sanctuary of sheets and pillows “we can stop if you're nervous.”

And like an over eager fool he rushed out a no.

“No, I promise I'm fine.”

‘Worried I'll cum in under a minute, but fine.’

“Besides, you made me wait for a full year so I'm not going to pass on this now.”

“Patience,” She teased back. Hand brushing along his cheek that he couldn't help but to press a kiss to. “Besides, it seemed only right to wait until we were both adults.”

“Is this where you lord over the fact you're three years older than me again?”

Though she hasn't done that since he passed her in height, much to a certain someone's annoyance.

“Maybe.”

Tightening his grip on her waist Jing Yuan pulled her impossibly closer. Her warmth, her laugh, her hands tracing the muscles on his back she could surely name off the top of her head like it was nothing, it was all a reminder of how much he held her dear.

“Can we….”

“Start now?” That laugh again, the curl of her lips as she looked up at him through those long lashes she has cursed everytime they ‘betrayed her’ by letting something in her eyes.

“Yes.”

It was as Jing Yuan had tugged those pants down and out of the way that she grabbed his chin to lead him into a kiss. The taste of her still there, still lingering as her lips parted into a moan as for the first time it was his cock that filled her. That they were intertwined in a way that would make the Aeons themselves blush.

And it was in that moment as his hips moved to meet hers with a wet squelch that had him biting his lip not to moan too loudly and give away what they were doing to any of her neighbors in the dorms did the words I love you fill the air.

Her hands in Jing Yuan’s hair as she whispered them right back.

I love you.

That's what she said to him as the wind whipped around from an awaiting ship. Luggage in her hand as she looked back between the people on board who were walking back and forth from the dock to a place Jing Yuan couldn't see with wooden crates full of provisions. Old nails clearly being the only things keeping the boxes together as he watched the cloud knights assigned to this mission just like she was.

Blue armor much like his own, but he wasn't one of the few that were chosen for this. No, (Y/n) was. A healer is always needed.

“I shouldn't even be gone long. At most maybe a year. Maybe two.”

Far from long in the eyes of a Xianzhou native, that's for sure. The denizens of the Luofu had their lives tick by as the humans who came to the ship for trade and sightseeing grew old and suddenly stopped showing up. All due to a very obvious conclusion. But two years without her?

“Why wasn't it someone else assigned? There's always Aihan.”

“That girl? She still gets squirmish during autopsies.”

Meaning no can do.

The stomping of boots continued as men tread back and forth. Some of the knights even stopped to give Jing Yuan a respectful nod or even a wave before continuing on with their task. His brothers in arms despite the fact he wasn't going to be besides them on the field this time.

“Besides, it's only Yaguoret. This should all be wrapped up quickly. At least compared to the thirty year missions some people are assigned to.”

A shrug, like this, wasn't a big deal at all despite the fact they both have been on a battlefield now. They both knew what it was like.

“Look Yuan, I'll be back in two years at max and when I arrive in your awaiting arms,” her hand slid along the blue fabric of his uniform, playing with the material she had sewed back together for his time and time again, “you can keep me all to yourself for a week. Just you, I, cute dates or… other things.”

“Two weeks.”

“One and a half.”

“Two weeks, prodigy.”

The two stared at each other for a moment before she finally sighed, shoulders dropping for only a moment.

“Fine, two weeks. I'll be all yours.”

Grabbing her hand, Jing Yuan locks their pinkies together. Silly, childish really, but it always worked when they were younger. Though it was mainly her wrangling him into compliance.

“Promise me.”

“I-I…..promise.”

So why was he now sitting in her room staring up at Jingliu listening to his master say something he never thought would be uttered?

The file boxes had been taken away, the bottles that had once reflected his own golden eyes back to him as Jing Yuan asked about the contents now missing, even the terrarium for Ingredients (Y/n) never bothered to get rid of was gone like it never existed in the first place. The dorm room is bare, hollow of the personality it had accrued over years of use.

Photos of them ripped from the walls leaving dark squares from the sun aging the wallpaper that once framed those cherished memories.

“What do you mean she's been exiled?”

“I mean exactly what I say, Jing Yuan. Miss (Y/n) of the alchemy commission, student to cauldron master Haize, has been exiled from the Luofu.”

Jingliu's hand moved to rest on the empty desk, brushing over the dust that had accumulated during the past three months that no one had properly cleaned this room. It was always something he intended to do, to keep up with making sure this place was as spotless as he could make it so she wouldn't come back to dust bunnies and a fit of sneezes, but work had been suddenly thrown onto him like something was amiss. Something massive had obviously happened, but he knew better than to ask when every time those who talked about it would shut their mouths the second even a wisp of his hair was seen.

“The fact she wasn't sentenced to death is a surprise.”

Because of course no one would want to talk to him about his own partner being….

“This is a mistake!”

Getting up from bed that creaked under him from the sudden movement Jing Yuan stood before his master, eyebrows pinched together to keep himself from outwardly scowling at the woman he owes so much to after years of training with the sword.

“You know her just as well as I do! She never would have hurt anyone like this.”

“When I knew (Y/n) best was when she was a fledgling. A kid, just as you are now. Letting your emotions blind your view of the truth will do nothing to help you.”

“I've known her for fifteen years. There's no way the same woman I know who takes spiders outside after finding them would be capable of murdering a hundred knights.”

(Y/n) can't even hold a sword properly. She is a healer, a woman who makes mixtures and applies bandages. Who presses kisses to his wounds as Jing Yuan tries to brush them off like they're nothing to avoid the bitter sting of hydrogen peroxide she would mercilessly apply to him with a smile like nothing was wrong. A woman like that holds no contest to men trained for combat. Some of those men that were sent out even had hundreds of years under their belt.

“Even if she poisoned them?”

Jing Yuan hissed out a breath at that, jaw tensed just the same way it would when the antiseptic met his braised skin.

“She's…she may be capable but that doesn't mean-”

“After the soldiers died the effects started to show in the village people that lived on Yaguoret. Even cauldron master Haize said it was the same symptoms the corpses of the cloud knights seemed to have gone through.”

Jingliu pulled her hand back from the desk, a small coating of dust on her fingers she brushed off.

“Haize has done everything he can with what he has, but the people native to that planet keep dropping faster than he can try and make new remedies.”

The two stared at each other for a moment, like Jingliu was waiting for Jing Yuan to finish what she was trying to say himself, but he bit his tongue. Refused to use it. He wouldn't say the words aloud.

“Only your partner would know the best way to go about making a poison that her own master could not find an antidote, or whatever those alchemy commission bunch need, to stop this issue in time.”

“The elders have decided this will be written off as a plague. That will be what is documented as to keep Haize from having his position looked at with suspicion, but he will be on thin ice from here on.”

What Jingliu wasn't saying is: it's a wonder the man is keeping his job at all.

“This isn't possible.”

‘She wouldn't do anything to risk her…and the promise.’

As it felt like his chest was being clawed at by an invisible hand winding its way through his mouth, past Jing Yuan throat, and ripping his lungs apart to grasp at his heart Jingliu placed a letter in his lap. The envelope it was in clearly had been torn open, but it was his name on the white parchment with the ‘I’ dotted with a heart.

Somehow the sight of it made it even harder to breathe.

“She left this behind for you, clearly. When they were cleaning out her room trying to find evidence that was stumbled upon.”

That would explain why her room is so empty.

The words why is it open then we're right on the tip of his tongue, but they both already knew the answer to that.

“Do you know its contents?”

Jingliu nodded at that, not saying a word as her red eyes flicked down to the torn apart packaging of something that was supposed to be meant for only him.

“Does it mention…”

‘Does it mention why?’

“It's best you read it yourself if you want to know.”

It was the force of habit alone that had Jing Yuan nodding as he was given one last glance by his master before she left him alone. Most likely he can process this thing on his own, but just the sight of it, the idea of what's inside, made him feel sick. Hell, he was half tempted to burn it and throw the ashes of what's left out the window so he can watch them dance on the wind the same way those specimens of belladonna and jimson weed got carried away.

Swallowing down the taste of bile licking at his tongue, Jing Yuan folded up the envelope and tucked it away in his uniform.

That… can be saved for another day.

A day for centuries later.

A day for when he was stopped short as a bird flew down and nestled upon the crook between his shoulder and golden armor piece strapped down to Jing Yuan's arm. Little chirps filled his ears as he walked through the streets of the Luofu. Sing song, a perfect background to his afternoon stroll as the few people he passed by on this path he's memorized after years of use bowed their heads.

Surely, if it wasn't for the upkeep on the potholes or cracks in the sidewalk he would have worn the shape of his boots into the white concrete long ago.

Another chirp and Jing Yuan looked down at the red beaked creature with a lazy smile. These things were always so comfortable with him, to the point he's even gotten a few comments from Fu Xuan about being a Disney princess. Something he just nods along with without complaint.

It was amusing how much his acceptance seemed to annoy her.

“Now, now, if you're too loud you might make this old man lose even more of his heari….”

His hearing.

But there he was stopped short, one foot in the air waiting to follow along the path only he knows the exact details of even as people try to record the goings and happenings of the Dozing General. Frozen in space, in time, like it was ice that kept him stock still and not a single image that came onto one of those many blue screens depicting today's news.

The words wanted written right under the white and red pictures of Blade, Kafka, and a woman Jing Yuan never thought he'd see again.

That old ache blooming in his chest again like a flower in a patch of dirt just waiting to be watered as her eyes were revealed to him. Even in a drawing meant to capture her image they never changed.

Teasin, inquisitive, and seemingly filled with thoughts he never had the neverending years to dig into like he was planting his own garden.

Wanted Stellaron Hunters.

Turning on his heel the bird that was nestled against him flew off, its wings flapping away as it took flight, and he was left to stride out of Starskiff Haven with his boots thudding their way back to the Seat of Divine Foresight as Jing Yuan tried with all his restraint not to break out into a full out run.

“You're dismissed,” is all he said as he entered those old walls, loud and clear for everyone inside to hear.

Heads turned his way, some immediately moved to leave, and the blond rascal of a kid he was so fond of came up to him only to hold his tongue as he saw the look on Jing Yuan’s face. A “very well, general,” threw his way as Yanqing followed everyone else out.

Jing Yuan didn't even notice the glance back to him as the doors shut.

Now it was just him standing there on the giant board surrounded by blue holograms, banners hanging from the beams up above, scrolls stored away in their exact places, and the lion statues he himself commissioned to be built in this place.

All alone.

Just like he was with a letter he never wanted to read as his feet carried him to that desk he hovers over day after day. Fingers moving along the smooth bottom to press a button that forced a drawer open. Thin, barely able to contain anything at all. When he first got this piece and requested such an addition the odd looks didn't bother him much, not when the carpenter didn't need to know what it was for. As far as he cared the simple phrase ‘official documents’ would have held enough weight.

But it wasn't some folder filled with the Xianzhou Luofu's darkest secrets, well, not fully anyway. Rather, it was a torn open envelope and the messy scrawl of his name.

‘Jing Yuan’ staring back at him.

Even after all these years later and his memories fade in favor of a blanket of mist keeping all those years locked away, he knew well enough she didn't like to refer to him that way.

It was Yuan.

It was her Yuan.

The paper felt odd in his hands, despite the amount of times he's pulled it out and debated opening the thing before it fades away to dust, like it was brand new. A clean sheet of paper despite it no doubt having passed through multiple hands before something that was rightfully his possession fell into his grasp for the first time. Fingers teasing over the ripped envelope as he pushed it aside and pulled out a folded note.

It wouldn't be too late to back out now, just how he has done a hundred times before as he failed to bite the bullet even his old master was able to, but then the image of her flashed in his mind again. The wanted poster was an accurate portrait, but it still felt like a character compared to the memories that were like a migraine that never ceased to ache.

‘Evolution didn't choose you, short stuff.’

‘Since when did it hurt to stop and smell the roses?’

‘I don't care if I'm busy, I'll find the time to go on that date with you. I promise.’

‘I love you.’

‘I'll be back in two years.’

A whirlwind of moments together, of her words, that had him just barely creasing the note.

The thought that she promised to come back quickly buried away as he, for the first time, unfolded the note he's kept all these years without her by his side.

‘Dear Yuan,

I have drafted this letter over ten times now and I can't quite seem to get the beginning of this right, so I think it's best just to get into the thick of things. You agree, yes? I hope you do.

I'm sure the news of what has happened (or is about to happen, if you're looking from my point of view) has reached you now. Is this a shock beyond words or did a part of you know this was going to happen? We do tend to let our unconscious selves be quieted and hushed away by emotions. Such is the way of any sentient creature whose instincts do not drive them. But you cannot look me in the eyes and tell me this was not something you would fully deny being something I am capable of if you weren't driven right now by what I can only guess is…betrayal.

I didn't mean to be your first heartbreak, my Yuan. No, I never wanted that at all. I wanted things to stay just the way they were when you'd take that wooden sword of yours when Jingliu hadn't yet given you permission to wield a real one and chase me around with it because I teased you too much. Or maybe back when we would turn rocks over a day after it rained so we can try and find bugs together.

Oh Yuan, I could list countless moments I wish time had chosen to freeze us both in so this outcome never had to come to pass.

But it did.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not sorry for my actions.’

The words ‘I can't afford to be’ were crossed out.

‘Do you remember that night when we snuck into the gardens? I do. Very well at that. I hope you do too, just for different reasons. That night to me was being with you, of enjoying our time, until you brought up the mara-struck. Those creatures that plague us all at the end of our lives like a withering flower bound to end up as nothing more than a husk of itself as its body is preserved much like that one I keep with a red ribbon tied around it (the one you gave me when you tried to ask me out like a bumbling mess) pressed between pages as it's currently being used as a bookmark. The abominations, they have made me realize something you might not have yet.

Maybe those three years I have on you really do mean more than I would care to admit. Maybe in three years time when you are at the age I am now you'll realize this for yourself too. This war is never going to end. This war will taint what is beautiful in the world. We were blessed to have a loll in the time we were growing up, but that is only because of the sacrifices of many given for such peace.

But still, many died when our eyes were blinded by youth.

And when the battles did come you were a guard on some street in the Luofu as I was called out of my dorm to treat the few men who came back from their efforts in the middle of the night. Blearly, I was lacking sleep, but I did my job just as I always have. That is what I told myself when I had to dissect my first body at the age of fifteen. ‘Do your job, girly’ despite the fact I was surrounded by those older than me and even they cringed as Haize yanked some pubic hair from a corpse to store into a plastic bottle for proper collection.

It took a while for them to forget this thing before them, this hunk of meat, was dead and therefore couldn't feel pain. It took me a while too.

Back to the men…They would come in covered in blood, scratches that were left by creatures I never would have dreamed of existing before until they told me about them as I figured out all on my own how to detach a chewed up limb from a man without making it too painful.

They still passed out in the end.

One day you will know war, you will know what it's like to be on the battlefield for more than a skirmish, you will know the smell of the dead as all their bowels release and the smell of shit fills the air, just as I do now after having been called to be a medic in those poorly put up tents behind the fighting men.

Yet I don't want people to have to know about war. I don't want you to know about war despite you jumping at every chance to prove yourself as a Cloud Knight. I don't want those people of Yaguoret to know about war as we descended on their planet. But it is inevitable. They are a poor people who know little of what to do with the land they possess, and we are a civilization that sees their planet for the resources it has.

It was already discussed after the first talks with the people there after they turned away our offers of trade that they needed to be…wiped out.

Children, mothers, fathers who can't even put up a proper fight, let alone to a Cloud Knight.

So if you are wondering if I killed our men, the very people we talked with in the mess hall, or annoyed on the training grounds, or that I bandaged in the past, then I have to tell you I will.

They won't survive, of course they won't. What kind of prodigy would I be if I couldn't make a simple poison that would properly kill a man? Or a good hundred.

Sorry, I shouldn't be making jokes now. Force of habit.

There will be no war if the people trying to make a war are dead.

There is no way to enact change without sacrifices. That is how medicine is made. First someone must come to you with an issue, a sickness, and it is their loss of life that allows you to test the boundaries of this illness.

But that doesn't change the fact that I will soon become a murderer.

Somehow I am calm, at ease, yet the most scared I have ever been in my life.

But I have cast aside my alchemy commission uniform. Green never was my color.

I am no longer a healer. A murderer cannot claim that title.

So, as I said before, I won't apologize for my actions, but I'm sorry I had to face this world before you did, to come to my own conclusions. I can't help but wonder if I was younger, if I didn't have those three years on you, if we could find our own conclusions together. Ones that we could support side by side that wouldn't result in this.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is-’

And the last words, with a dried teardrop smearing the letters so they were barely legible as Jing Yuan had to narrow his eyes to read.

‘I am sorry I grew up without you.’

#jing yuan x reader #jing yuan #hoyoverse #hsr #hsr x reader #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #fem reader #x reader #steamy #hsr x you #honkai star rail x you #honkai sr x you

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tightjeansjavi · 2 days

Text

My Joel,

A/N: I have not written a fic with this many words in a HOT minute, and boy does it feel good! What a cathartic experience this has been for me after writing Joel’s letters. I did not expect so many of you to want Joel and his dearest to have an alternative ending, but here we are 🤭 writing this has been a real treat, and I hope I have done their backstory and alternative ending justice! Buckle up, because you’re in for a wild ride! Thank you to @beardedjoel for letting me spam you with all the updates and screaming along with me 🥹 thank you to @strang3lov3 for betaing and creating these STUNNING divider mood boards for each section of the fic 💘

~word count: 14.4k~

Summary: the story of two forbidden lovers finding each other once more.

Pairing | forbidden lover!joel x f!reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, smut, infertility, canon typical violence, mutual pining, child abuse, mentions of S/A accusations (not by Joel) misogyny (not by Joel) homophobia/homophobic slurs (not by Joel) mutual pining, hopeless romantics, forbidden love, societal status, somewhat historically accurate language, arranged marriage (not to Joel), language, mentions of alcohol and tobacco products, virginity/virginity loss, happy ending/alternative ending, no age gap, reader has no physical descriptions, +18 minors dni!

My Dearest,

June 1st, 1844

“This evening you are to meet the banker's son, daughter.” Your mother’s sickly sweet voice floated through your room, where you sat along the cushioned bench beneath the long window, your palm resting along your chin as you gazed out towards the gardens, the grass an unnatural shade of green compared to the common folk and farmers that would only dream of stepping foot on your family's estate. Your wealth was directly a result of your fathers parents, and their long lineage of thoroughbred horses. Your own mare was a descendant of the original three stallions imported into England in the late 1600’s.

But you were more focused on the man leading your mare, and her two stallions flocking at her hindquarters from the pasture: your Joel.

Joel Miller was a mere stable hand who was entrusted by your father himself to care for your family's prized horses. But to you? Joel was much more than just a stable hand. In fact, you begged your father one summer to increase Joel’s pay when he proved to be knowledgeable with the horses and their needs. Your father agreed, but refused to dote Joel with a new title. He was penniless compared to you, but you saw his heart before you saw his status in society. And he? He loved you from the moment you first met.

Spring, 1839

“Sir, sir!” A young Joel, 13 years of age burst into your fathers parlor, his hand-me-down clothes were soaked to the bone as the storm raged on outside the estate walls. “Dahlia’s womb has breached! Her foal is on the way!” He exclaimed with excitement.

Outside of your families prized stallions, the mares were just as valuable, bearing the next line of champions, no doubt. Dahlia belonged to your mother, and this was her third foal. Your mother couldn’t stand the presence of Joel in her home, dripping all over the floor, creating a puddle of water along the artisan rug beneath his muddy boots.

“Boy!” She snapped, setting her book down along her skirts where she was sitting near the fireplace, with perfect posture. Her eyes held a cold, unnerving stare. “You are in no state to be in my home looking like—” her pointed comment was cut off by the double doors leading to the parlor bursting open, to reveal your excited, and visibly out of breath face.

“Dahlia’s foal is on the way?!”

It was past your bedtime, but down the hall you heard the news of Dahlia, and couldn’t contain yourself. You were still in your nightgown, your hair in braids with bows tied into the ends. Joel felt a flush immediately rise to his damp cheeks at the sight of you. You were as pretty as a flower, the same age as him, and he wondered why this was the first time he’s seen you, till he remembered that most girls your age spent their days indoors preparing for marriage to a suitable husband of their fathers choosing, and inevitably bearing children down the line.

Just as quickly as his gaze fell upon you, he looked away, clearing his throat to hide the redness rising in his cheeks.

“Daughter!” Your mother scolded you when you rushed into the room and didn’t curtsy upon your arrival. She had yet to notice the bows in your hair when you quickly curtsied, fingers delicately grasping the hem of your nightgown as you bent down at the waist, one foot in front of the other just as it was ingrained into your brain for years. “Apologies, mother.” You softly squeaked out in embarrassment.

She shook her head, a displeasured look fell upon her hardened features. She rose from the couch, silk shawl clenched in her fist as she crossed the room and draped the garment across your shoulders. “Cover up your modesty.” She snapped unkindly. “Men should never see a lady in her night garments.”

I am not a lady, mother. I am a child! Is what you wanted to say, but instead you weakly nodded, muttering another apology under your breath. That’s when your mother took notice of your braids and the bows tied at the ends of them, a sign of innocent youth when you were to become a woman. She scoffed, nose upturning at the sight of them. Her cruel hand rose and fell, landing harshly against your soft cheek.

Joel visibly flinched from the sound, feeling his blood begin to boil under his soaked clothing. You had done nothing wrong! And who in their right mind slaps their own child!

Your skin stung, tears welling and nearly breaching down your cheeks when she yanked the bows from your braids and mockingly held them in front of your face. “These are for little girls. You are to become a woman, or have you forgotten?”

Your lower lip wobbled, and your knees trembled. Your eyes frantically searched the room, landing upon your father who paid no mind to your distress. He was too busy puffing away on his cigar, and even if he didn’t agree with his wife’s treatment upon you, he didn’t dare speak up about it.

“Joel, be a good lad and fetch my daughters coat. I will not be treading out in a storm such as that one, but someone from our family should be present for the birth of Dahlias foal.” He gruffed out. “Let us hope for a strong colt. There are too many fillies prancing around here.”

“Sir—” Joel started, but was cut off.

“Fetch her coat, and do not make me ask you a third time, boy.” He sternly reiterated.

“Yes, sir. Right away!” He nodded, quickly turning on his heel and exited the parlor, his eyes met your teary-eyed one briefly before he disappeared behind the open doors.

“Our daughter has no business going out in this storm, husband! Especially not with the likes of that—boy.” She seethed, stepping back from your trembling frame and walked in the direction of the fire, the now crumpled bows in her fist. She wasted no time to throw them directly into flames, watching as they were burnt up into ash immediately.

“Relax, wife.” Your father sighed, tapping out the ash from his cigar into the crystal ashtray along the table, “she is in good hands with Joel, I trust him.”

“Excuse me, miss?” a timid, youth filled voice appeared behind your shoulder, hand outstretched with your coat grasped between his fingers.

You sniffled, turning to face him and quickly wiped at your brewing tears with the back of your hand. “Thank you, Joel.” You whispered, fingers brushing his gently as you removed your coat from his grasp.

He nearly shied from your touch, a series of tingles and sparks shooting up his spine when he felt your soft touch for the first time. You reacted all the same; shocked gazes meeting before he was stepping to the side for you to pass by him first, a gentleman in nature despite coming from nothing. He cleared his throat, offering you his elbow to brace against the pounding rain and blustering winds. “I’ve got you, miss.” He whispered as your palm gently rested along the crook of his elbow.

Despite your mother’s incessant protests, Joel Miller guided you outside, acting as a physical shield as you endured the storm together. Once inside the safety of the barn, Joel parted from your side, grabbing a nearby stool for you to sit upon before entering Dahlia’s stall. You watched in pure curiosity and amazement as Joel spoke softly to the mare while her head rested in his lap. Beast trusted man; man trusted beast.

When Dahlia’s foal was born, she was not blessed with a strong colt like your father hoped for, but instead a filly. She was smaller than Dahlia’s other foals, and coal black unlike her mother’s dazzling, dappled silver coat. Joel helped the young filly stand on her long, spindly legs so that she could nurse. He was incredibly gentle, letting the filly lean her weight into him. Although Joel knew he was not allowed to name the horses, he started to call the filly ‘Little Shadow’ and only left the stall when he was certain she could stand on her own.

That’s when he remembered he wasn’t alone, and that you were still sitting upon the stool, hands clasped in your lap.

“Wanna meet her?” He suddenly asked, wiping his hands down on a nearby towel.

“Oh…” you trailed off, “I’m unsure if—”

“Nonsense.” He shook his head, a small, boy-like grin tugging on his lips. “M’sure your father would want you to have the full experience, would he not?”

“Yes, I suppose he would.” You agreed and graciously took his hand when he offered it. “He will be displeased to hear that Dahlia did not bear a strong colt.”

“I never understood that.” He mused, helping you down from the stool and gently released your hand. “A healthy foal, no matter the sex, is better than an unhealthy one, is it not?”

“Yes, this is true.” You nervously toyed with a loose thread on your coat, avoiding making eye contact with him. “She is…small though, is she not?”

He took no offense to your lack of direct eye contact. He felt undeserving to be in your presence, let alone hold your gaze? “Forgive me if this comes across negatively, miss. But must you always speak so…proper?”

You turned your nose up at his question, dropping the loose thread from your fingertips, “I am to be a lady, Joel. This is how ladies talk.”

He snorted under his breath, shaking his head and shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers. “I suppose you are right. And to answer your question, she may be smaller than the rest of Dahlia’s offspring, but her legs are long, and strong.” He commented thoughtfully as he walked over to the nursing foal. “She will be a winner one day, no doubt.”

“Do you wish to name her, Joel?” You asked softly, standing alongside him with your hand outstretched to gently pet the fillies jet black neck.

“Oh, miss—I could never. I was only calling her Little Shadow because well, she is like a Little Shadow.”

“I don’t think father would approve of Little Shadow…but I think Shadow is a fine name for her, sir.”

“Miss, I am not a sir.” He sighed, reaching behind him to rub the back of his neck. “I’m just a stable hand. I do not possess any titles, and I never will. I agree, Shadow is a fine name for her.”

“Joel, I have heard that you are more than just a stable hand, but I address every man as sir. It’s how I have been taught.”

He looked over at you, eyes scanning the side of your face, the same side where your cheek had been struck by your mothers cruel hand. “That it be true, I am not a man, miss. I am just a boy.”

Silence fell between the two of you while you continued to gently stroke Shadow’s neck. You could feel Joel’s gaze landing on your cheek, but you chose to ignore it despite the heat that was slowly beginning to rise to your cheeks.

“Miss…?” He sounded unsure of himself, nervous, apprehensive of the words he was about to speak next,

“Yes, Joel?”

“Forgive me, I should not be uttering these words to a lady like yourself, but the bows in your hair…I thought they were quite—pretty.” He whispered the last bit, expecting you to scold him, to scream, and surely send him to the gallows for even thinking of you in that inappropriate manner, but instead, you smiled softly.

“Thank you, Joel. Mother…doesn’t approve of them. Says they are for little girls, and not for a lady to be. But they are just ribbons, are they not? I like how they look, and I wish she did too.” You sighed, eyes casting downwards.

He was more bold this time around as the images of your mothers hand making contact with your soft cheek flashes in his mind, “she should have never laid a hand upon you like that, miss. You did nothing wrong! Forgive me—I have forgotten my place.” He dropped his chin between his shoulders in shame.

You wept then, fat tears rolling down your cheeks at the phantom sting of your mothers palm. You slowly sank down into the straw bed, head in your hands. You looked so small, frail, weak, and Joel never wanted you to feel this way again.

At first he didn’t know how to react to your distress, but soon he found himself sinking down to his knees in front of you, his hands trembling as he reached out to grasp your covered shoulders, “my dearest, do not weep, please. Your mother has never learned kindness in her life, but you? You—” he struggled to find his words, his empathetic nature coming out in full swing.

You slowly tilted your chin upwards to meet his gaze, glassy eyes boring into his. You both took a sharp inhale of breath, time seemed to cease completely. The storm outside raged on, the wind whipped and howled outside the heavy barn doors when Joel Miller’s calloused palms gently cradled your face, thumbs brushing away your glistening tears.

1842

Spring turned to summer, summer to fall, and fall to winter. Your Joel transformed into a man before your very eyes. In your youth he showed you how to run, to make mud pies, to swim in the river, despite your mothers disapproval. Your father showed an inkling of care to allow your years before marriage to be spent with Joel by your side.

On the approach of your sixteenth birthday, Joel Miller no longer looked like a boy in your eyes. He was a man, and for the first time in your life, you felt that forbidden part between your thighs come alive at the sight of him. He had grown taller, his arms filling in, paired with strong thighs. The muscles in his back and shoulders were defined with laborious hours of work. His chiseled jaw was speckled with facial hair, paired with unruly curls that you wished you could feel their softness between your fingers. You found yourself transfixed by his lips and often imagined how they would feel pressed to yours in a heated embrace. The only thing about your Joel that didn’t change with age was his eyes; the deepest pools of brown that always appeared lighter when he was graced with your presence.

Your father treated him like a son, inviting him out on the weekends to go fox hunting with your brothers. The prospect of attending college was even on the horizon for him, and Joel could taste his new life brewing on his tongue. His feelings grew for you over the years, feeling his heart flutter and clench whenever you would look his way. Even in your modest attire, he envisioned your womanly figure beneath your layers of tooled skirts. Every night before he laid his body to sleep, he would imagine your lips pressing to his own until the thought of it had begun to drive him mad.

So upon your sixteenth birthday, he approached your father in his office with only one thought on his mind; asking for your fathers permission, and blessing to court, and eventually marry you.

“Come in.” Your father’s voice rasped behind the closed door.

Joel took a deep breath, rubbing his sweaty palms along the front of his trousers, bringing one hand up to smooth down his untamed curls. His calloused palm grasped the brass handle and slowly pushed it open.

Your father was seated behind his desk, cigar smoke wafting through the air in a swirling pattern from where it rested between his lips. He looked at Joel expectantly, arms crossed behind his head in a lax position. “Joel, my boy. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Joel stepped inside the room, closing the door behind him softly. He momentarily glanced out a large window overlooking the gardens where in just a few hours, your party would be in full swing. “Good afternoon, sir.” He nodded curtly, “beautiful day we’re having, yes? The weather will be exceptional for your daughter's birthday this evening.”

My Dearest.

“Yes, indeed. The weather has been lovely.” Your father mused. “If you’re asking if you can attend tonight’s festivities, you already know my answer, Joel. The lady of the house wouldn’t stand for it.” He waved his hand in a dismissive manner.

“Yes, of course, sir. I won’t be on the grounds this evening. A few friends have invited me to the tavern for drinks. I won’t be out late, I swear it.”

“I see.” Your father nodded, “a handsome young man such as yourself oughta get out there more.” He agreed, “So, what are you here for then?”

Shit.

“Sir, I have—known your daughter for many years now, as you are aware. I am also aware that she has many suitors lined up to offer her hand in marriage, but sir, if I was given your blessing, and permission, I would—”

“Joel.” Your father’s tone cut through the younger man like a sharpened blade. “My daughter has already been promised to another. Do not take me for a fool, boy. I have seen the way your gaze lingers on her longer than what would even be described as appropriate. I see the way she looks at you, Joel. I have bit my tongue on this matter because I happen to like you, son. What I can offer you is another lady, at your choosing. You can live a happy, comfortable life and hold a title that you would never otherwise possess. My suggestion is that you accept my generous offer, and throw away your fantasy of ever marrying my daughter.”

Joel swallowed his disappointment down with a heavy gulp. He was naive to believe that he could ever be granted with your fathers blessing. How foolish of him to believe that a man such as himself, would ever end up with the likes of you. It was a fantasy, an unattainable dream that he was better off extinguishing now instead of dwelling on what could never be. He nodded slowly, trying to ignore the way his heart submerged to the very pits of his stomach. “I understand, sir.” He finally spoke.

“Good lad. I knew you were a smart one from the start. Now, this stays between you and I, alright?”

“Of course, sir.”

“Good. You didn’t hear this from me, but the lady of the house plans to retire early this evening. If you see the opportunity to whisk my daughter away for one evening, take it. If it sours, do not even think about taking me down with you. Do I make myself perfectly clear?”

“Sir?” Joel sounded confused, his eyes going wide momentarily, “I’m confused—”

“Treat my daughter to a night that she will never forget, so that in her later years, when she is in misery after bearing her husband's children, and finds herself in a loveless marriage, she will have her memories of you to look back on. Do not, and I mean by any means, get caught and throw your life away so foolishly.”

“I—I understand, sir.” He stuttered out, his heart lurching in his chest at the prospect of one evening with you in his embrace. “Thank you, sir. Thank you.” He gushed earnestly.

“Leave now, Joel. Do not speak of this to anyone.”

“I won’t, sir. I promise.”

All evening you danced merrily and socialized with the upper socialites of Texas with a fake smile plastered on your pretty painted lips. You searched high and low for your Joel all evening. Your gaze lingered, heart skipping a beat anytime a man that resembled him would stride past, only to be met with bitter disappointment when they would turn their cheek towards you and the resemblance would dissipate like the bubbles in your champagne flute. Your mother had retired for the evening, and your father was in his parlor with his colleagues, smoking, drinking, and playing hands of poker.

And then you felt a presence brush past your bare shoulder, the skirts of your dress ruffling in the warm summer breeze. A shred of parchment was placed into your palm discreetly as you watched the inconspicuous figure disappear in the direction of the nearby stables. Once you were certain no one was paying any attention to you, you unfolded parchment, your heart surging at the familiar penmanship.

My Dearest,

Happy sixteenth birthday. Meet me at the stables in exactly one hour.

Your Joel

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, the butterflies erupted and fluttered wildly in your stomach, Your Joel. You brought the parchment to your lips, kissing his words, your lashes fluttering shut.

As the minutes ticked by, your excitement heightened, and when it was ten minutes to the hour, you snuck off to the stables with a visible pep in your step. The barn door was left ajar upon your entering, and when you turned the corner, you found your Joel inside of Shadow’s stall, bows and flowers were braided delicately throughout her luscious mane and tail. When he sensed your presence, he turned around, the biggest grin plastered on his face, dimples peeking through, one stray curl falling across his forehead that was begging to be brushed away by your soft fingertips.

“Joel.” You breathed out, smile mimicking his own.

“My Dearest.” His heart surged in his chest, and then you were launching yourself into his arms unexpectedly. He caught you, of course, hugging you tightly to his broad frame. “No one saw you, right?”

“No.” You shook your head, wrapping your arms around his neck while his hands fell to your waist. “Shadow looks beautiful! What’s the occasion?”

He chuckled warmly, tilting his forehead to rest upon yours with a sigh of relief, “she doesn’t look nearly as beautiful as you, darlin.’ And why for your birthday, of course!”

His warm, timbre laugh sent your stomach somersaulting, and your mind feeling dizzy. “An evening ride through the countryside, is that my present from you?” You teased him lightly, threading your fingers through the back of his hair.

“No, no, my sweet. It’s actually…a surprise. Are you up for it? Oh! You’ll be needing these, however.” He reluctantly departed from your embrace, stepping off to the side to lift a rucksack from the ground. “I believe they’re your size.”

You raised a curious brow as he handed the rucksack off to you. “You mean, I get an excuse to wear something outside of my fine dresses?” You gasped softly.

“Mhm.” He nodded, smile playing on his lips at your pure excitement over something so small. “I’ll uh—give you some privacy to change.” He cleared his throat, eyes dancing in the direction opposite of you as he turned on his heel so his back would be facing you.

Secretly, you wanted him to see you undress from your obnoxious layers and reveal your untouched skin to his admiring gaze. The times that you would swim in the river together were different. You were both still children, and your womanly curves hadn’t made their appearance just yet.

He silently listened to your fine skirts fall to the dusty barn floor and he was half tempted to peek, but remained respectful as you undressed. Once you gave him the okay, he slowly turned around to face you once more. Gone were your frilly heavy skirts that dragged along the floor with each step that you took. Your skirt was still long, but not as weighted and while the bodice was still fairly constricting, the sleeves were dainty and hung off the side of your shoulders like silk drapery. Your mother would certainly have a fit if she saw you dressed so un-modestly.

“So…” You trailed off, “how do I look?” You twirled on your heel, your smile never faltering.

He unashamedly looked you up and down, twice, before one strong arm looped around your waist and pulled you flush against his chest, caging you against him.

“Pardon my French, mademoiselle, but you look fuckin’ stunning.”

You giggled, hands resting against his chest to brace yourself against him. It was the sweetest sound that had ever graced his ears; your laugh.

“Thank you, sir. Mother would scold me if she saw me dressed like this!” You giggled again when his nose came to nuzzle against your cheek, bristles in his beard gently scraping against your skin, “she would, my dearest. But don’t worry about any of that, okay? Tonight you will have the time of your life with me, and your mother will have no say in it.” He assured you.

—

You rode into town on horseback, Shadow moving swiftly with Joel steering her with the reins and you behind him with your arms wrapped around him, pressing yourself as close to his back as possible. You had never been to a tavern before, but tonight would certainly be a night of firsts.

Your first sips of Ale were with Joel by your side, his shoulder brushing yours as he leaned over, warm breath fanning your face as he asked you what you thought about the taste.

Truthfully? Ale was not your first drink of choice, but you had an understanding for the appeal of it. Joel agreed, and whispered in your ear that he thought it tasted like shit. His tone and crude remark sent you giggling in tandem.

Now, whiskey on the other hand? You enjoyed the smoky flavor that lingered on your tongue and the way it instantly sent a warm fire simmering in your belly, and heat to flood your cheeks. You danced, laughed, drank and you even played a hand of poker! No one in the tavern knew of your status, your wealth. Everyone in the rowdy establishment was just there living, and you silently wished for your life to always be this freeing.

When the tavern closed for the night, you and Joel strolled down the street, hand in hand. The late evening air held that familiar summer sweetness, crickets chirping, fireflies dancing around your heads. Another pair of lovers strolled in front of you and Joel, seemingly unable to keep their hands off of one another as they neared the town inn. Would that be you and your Joel?

His palm felt clammy in your palm, but his face gave no distinction that he was absolutely freaking the fuck out inside at the prospect of finally getting the privilege to press his lips to yours.

“Shadow is staying at the inn’s barn for the evening, my dearest. It’s far too late for either of us to return back to the estate…” he trailed off, eyes casting in your direction to await your response.

“Joel…” you sighed, loosening your grip around his hand, nearly dropping it entirely. “We—we have to go back. Father, mother—”

“My dearest, your mother has retired early for the evening, and your father is probably too deep in a hand of poker to even notice your absence.” He spoke softly, slowly bringing your entwined fingers up to his face, illuminated in a soft, warm glow from the flickering street lights lining the walkway. He brushed his lips against the outside of your hand, eyes locking onto yours, “I understand if you don’t desire me the way I desire you, my dearest. And if that is the case, we can leave immediately—”

“I—I desire you plenty, my Joel. All evening at the party, I kept seeing the resemblance of your beautiful face in every male passerby, but none of them were you. I’m just—I’m so afraid, Joel. My heart—it feels so deeply for you, but it’s forbidden. You and I both know the bitter truth of what we can never be.”

“My dearest, tonight we need not be afraid, okay? It is your birthday, your special day, and there is nowhere else in this world that I would rather be, than here with you. I ask you for nothing, only to trust me. Trust your Joel.”

You could feel yourself caving into his words, your body drawn to be closer to him as if by some invisible force pulling you into his chest. “I trust you always, my Joel.”

He nodded, pressing another sweet kiss to the outside of your hand. You moved in sync, his strong, broad body caging you against the brick wall of the inn, his hands, calloused and warm, holding your face between them as if you were fine delicate china. His forehead came to rest upon yours, warm breath fanning your face, “can I kiss you, my dearest?”

“Please, my Joel.” You breathed out, fingers gently resting along the nape of his neck. “You—you will be my first.” You whispered.

“And you will be mine, my dearest.” He rasped, thumbs gently stroking your cheekbones, feeling his heartbeat faster, and faster, when his lips finally brushed upon your own, both of your inexperience showing, but nature took over when your lips finally met, pressing against one another. Your breath hitched in your throat, fingers tightening around his soft curls, pulling him in closer. You wanted to crawl inside his skin, make a home inside of his heart and never leave.

“I—have never felt a sweetness upon my lips till I have kissed you, my dearest.” He murmured sweetly against your locked lips, taking the leap of what felt right when your lips parted like the narrow sea for him to slowly lick into your mouth so your tongues could meet, and dance.

An unexpected moan slipped past your lips when he licked into your mouth, a sound only for his ears, sending blood flowing southwards beneath his trousers and directly to his groin. He parted from the kiss momentarily, a string of translucent saliva hung between your swollen lips. He dived back in seconds later, but this time you felt his lips upon your neck, sucking, kissing, licking at your throat and all the way back up to your lips.

“I scraped up enough money to afford us a night at the inn, my dearest.” He let out a soft grunt when your nails lightly scratched his scalp, and your fingers tugged on the root of his curls, “do you wish to—”

“Yes, my Joel.” You didn’t even wait for him to finish his question, you already knew your answer was going to be yes.

He chuckled at your eagerness, letting his hands drop from your face and rest along your waist, pulling you flush against his chest, “lay beside me tonight, my love?”

“Yes, my Joel. I wish for that.”

He smiled into the kiss, the butterflies in his own stomach were no longer fluttering wildly, his nerves were gone because never in his life had he been more sure about his feelings till now. It was a moment of calm that both you and he felt in one another’s embrace. “Then let it be known that tonight, beneath the stars, I will make love to you, my dearest.” The words he spoke fell like a sweet oath upon your lips.

You kissed him once more, before your lips parted, but only for a little while. He took your hand in his, fingers entwined and led you to the entrance of the inn. The room was paid for, and the excitement was beginning to tingle once more as he unlocked the door to the room you would share. A single bed to accommodate you both.

And when he laid you down, fitting in the space between your thighs, kissing every inch of your untouched skin, drawing sounds from your throat that you had never felt, nor heard before. Calloused palms moved with languid ease, undressing you with methodical care. You did the same to him, marveling at the flex of his muscles beneath your touch. He was so gentle, so patient as you parted for him like a blooming flower. He kissed you there, too. Dark head of curls moving between your thighs, strong fingers spreading you open where his tongue quickly found the little bud that had your whole body quivering, and your back bowing, arching from the mattress.

He kissed, licked, worshiped, suckled on your womanhood, the taste of you was something so foreign, yet familiar, and his cock grew heavy between his thighs, hips rutting into the mattress for any form of relief.

Your speech was slurred, broken, fragmented moans dangling from your lips, and you were only able to say one word; his name.

Joel, Joel, Joel, Joel.

And when the coil in deep within your tummy was pulled tight, and a burning warmth that could only be described as the feeling of heaven on earth, traveled from the tips of your toes and up your spine, you convulsed around his tongue, eyes rolling back into your skull, muscles spasming, your cunt pulsing, leaking along the sheets. He lapped up every sweet drop of your release, swallowing it down as if he was quenched with thirst. His eyes opened, dark pools of brown staring intensely into yours, grinning like a devil. His chin and beard glistening in your sweet nectar, illuminated by the pale moonlight casting in through the thin, billowing curtains.

He kissed up your body, finding your lips and molding his tongue around yours so you could taste yourself, too. He whispered sweet nothings between kisses when the heavy weight of his cock slowly began to press into you. Tears sprung from the sudden sharp pain caused by the stretch of him easing inside of you. He kissed away your tears, shushing you softly and promising you that it would feel good so soon, my dearest.

Your nails left crescents in his back, thighs wrapping around his waist when he was fully sheathed inside of your pulsing, hugging warmth. It was the tightest vice he ever did feel, and he never wanted to part from you.

“I’ve got you, my dearest.” He whispered upon your lips, drawing his hips back slowly, oh so slowly, before guiding them forward. The coarse dark hair on his pubic bone brushed against your own with each gentle thrust he gave you. A rhythm set in with his movements, your body naturally began to mold to his as you became one. Sweat soaked skin, tangled moans and limbs, wet kisses and words of love shared between what little space was left between you.

And when he spilled his seed deep within your womb, and he moaned your name, proclaiming his love and devotion for you with his face buried against your neck. You refused to part from one another, even as his cock softened inside of you, and your cunt no longer fluttered. You pressed your lips to his scruffy cheek, tangled your fingers through his now sweat soaked curls that were matted to his forehead and back of his neck. You held him, and he held you as the sun slowly began to rise, and the birds chirped cheerfully just outside the window.

“I don’t want to go home, my Joel. I want to stay here, with you…forever.” You whispered softly through the early morning air.

He shifted deep within you, lifting his chin and turned his cheek to the side, brushing his lips sweetly against your soft cheek. His eyes were sleepy, a dopey, boyish grin graced his features, lips curved in a perfect pout, swollen with your kisses, “I need not yet to part from you, my love. But I must return you home before your father and mother awake.”

You sighed softly, dropping your fingers from their grip on his hair to then drag across his jaw, nuzzling your nose against his and pressed a kiss to his lips, “our home, my Joel.” You gently reminded him.

He kissed you back, lashes fluttering shut to savor the moment before opening again so he could once again gaze upon your face and paint a picture in his memory to hold onto forever, “our home, my dearest.”

Reality began to rear its ugly head into both of your minds and he reluctantly parted from your kiss, drawing his hips back slowly to release his cock from your warmth. “We must return home, my dearest.” He sat back on his haunches, his softened cock wet, sticky with a mix of your combined releases and a thin layer of blood.

You slowly sat up, taking the coarse sheet with you as you gazed upon his groin for the first time. Even soft now, your sex induced eyes widened at the girth of him.

He, however, was more focused on the stain of blood on his skin, and swiped his thumb across it before his gaze landed on you, “have you…bled before, my sweet?”

You nodded, “yes, my Joel. I bleed the same time every month since my thirteenth birthday. Mother told me that it means I am ready to bear children, and I have become a woman. She told me that I would bleed again when my husband makes love to me for the first time.”

His chin falls between his shoulders, feeling them sink from the realization that he would never be your husband, and you would never be his wife. “Does it hurt…to bleed? Did I hurt you, my love?”

You shook your head, letting the sheets drop from your chest as you reached out to comfort him. “No, my love. It can be uncomfortable, but you did not hurt me. A dull sting is all I felt, nothing more. You took care of me.”

He reached for your hand, squeezing it gently as you emerged from under the covers, “my dearest, what is to happen if…you end up bearing my children? We are both so young, I wish not to steal what remains of your youth. You deserve so much more than only what is expected of you, my lady.”

You found yourself straddling his hips with your thighs on either side of him, caging his body around yours while his arms wrapped around your waist, using his core strength to stay upright as your hands came to rest upon his face, “if I bear your children, then we could marry, Joel. We could—be together!” You spoke excitedly.

“My dearest, I—have nothing to offer you. I am penniless…we are not of the same status, and your mother and father would never allow it.” His thumbs gently stroked the dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine.

“I will speak with my father! He will understand, he must! No man will ever wish to marry me if I am bearing another’s child! Father—he’ll have to agree!”

“My dearest, what if my seed doesn’t take to your womb the first time? What if we are unable—”

You cut him off with a swift kiss to his lips, pulling him in close with your hand resting along the nape of his neck, “then we keep trying till my womb is swelling with life.”

He kissed you deeply, feeling his cock begin to stir to life between your tightly pressed bodies. He nodded, a silent agreement as he dropped one hand from where it rested against your spine and dragged it between you so that he could grasp the base of his cock and slowly press himself inside of you once more.

By the time you and Joel arrived back at the estate, the sun was already beginning to rise high above the sky. The stables were empty upon your arrival as Joel helped you dismount from Shadow. He urged you to change back into your attire that you wore to the party so that your mother, nor father would raise their suspicions. You parted ways with a kiss, a longing behind his lips as he watched you leave his embrace and walk back into the life you had always known.

At the breakfast table your mother was quick to question why you were not present in your chambers at sunrise, but you already had a rehearsed script planned in your mind. Without missing a beat, you told the story of how you had a few too many flutes of champagne, and fell asleep in the gardens.

Your mother, of course, scolded you, but your father? He had a hidden, knowing smile playing beneath his mustache.

You and Joel were extremely cautious and strategic when it came to planning your rendezvous. They happened frequently, under the cover of night when everyone was sleeping. Sometimes in the stables, sometimes in the gardens, and you even returned to the inn a few times in secret. He could not get enough of you, your kisses, or your touch. The feeling was mutual, and you both knew that the deep, profound feelings you were both experiencing was not infatuation or lust, no, you and Joel Miller were madly, deeply, tragically in love with one another.

Even in the daytime he would seek your presence, asking your father if he could accompany you on a ride through the countryside as your guide, and protector. You had picnics by the river where he would lay his head upon your skirts, eyes closed blissfully as he listened to you read love stories from Shakespeare till he would drift off, soft snores escaping his lips, your voice lulling him to a sweet slumber. Your horses would graze side by side, his stallion, your mare. Their tails swishing to fight off the pesky flies.

Upon the approach of your eighteenth birthday, you wept in Joel’s arms, for no matter how many times he spilled his seed inside of you, your womb did not swell with life; his child. You feared that his love for you would sour and rot when you broke the mournful news to him beneath comfort of the shimmering moon, and twinkling stars.

“My dearest, why do you weep? Who, or what has caused my sweet love to shed her tears?” He sank to his knees with you crumbling in his arms. His heart felt like it was being shredded to fragmented pieces when your sobs echoed off the nearby hedges in the garden where your embrace was hidden.

“My Joel!” You cried, clawing at his arms with fat, heavy tears streaming down your cheeks, “I—I’m so sorry. I have let you down, my love.”

“My dearest, how have you let me down? Tell me what is wrong! What has happened?” He spoke urgently, tone hushed.

“My womb does not swell with life, Joel! We have tried, and tried! No matter how many times, it has been fruitless! I bear you no sons, no daughters—” you wailed mournfully.

“My sweet, are you certain of this? Oh, my girl…” he felt his own tears begin to prick his eyes as he began to gently rock you in his arms. “Do you weep in sadness, or in fear? I do not care that you cannot bear me any children, my dearest. My love for you will never sour.”

“Do not lie to me, lover!” You were on the edge of snapping through your tears, “when my sole purpose in this life is to marry and bear children to my husband! There must be something wrong with me, Joel! How can you say you love me when I cannot be the woman I am expected to be! I never can fucking—”

You surprised yourself and him by your sudden crude language, but then again, spending as much time as you did with Joel, his verbiage began to rub off on you, and yours onto him.

“Then don’t be the woman you are expected to be, my love! There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing, do you hear me? I love you as you are! You are my lady, for fucks sakes! You can be whoever you want to be with me! Do you wish to be a poet? Be one! Do you wish to be a scholar? A singer? Do you wish to live a normal life where your choices are not already chosen for you?!” His voice cracked, coming out as a hoarse rasp deep from within his chest.

You fought the urge to scoff and chide him for being so naive. “My life will never be normal! Don’t you understand?! All I know is what has been chosen for me! It doesn’t matter what I want, Joel! I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth! My studies, my thoughts, opinions, have all been predisposed! Even the fucking food I consume, and the clothing on my back has been chosen for me!”

“Of course I understand! All I have ever done is understand that you and I were never cut from the same cloth! And yet, I love you all the same because what else is a man to do? My sweet, we are weeks away from your eighteenth birthday! We can run away together and carve out the life of our choosing! Fuck your parents, fuck the society we live in! Do you want to marry a man you don’t love and live in misery?! Or do you want the chance to live! To wake up at your choosing, to wear what you desire, to love freely with no prejudice? To never again live under your parents control? Don’t you want to…love me?” He was exasperated, chest heaving, nostrils flaring from the pure passion oozing from his words.

You fell silent, your lower lip wobbling, eyes glassy with tears as you looked into his eyes, taking in the redness in his cheeks, the puffing of his chest—the love pooling in his dark irises, “of course I want to love you, my Joel. I—I’m afraid! Can’t you see that? I’m expected to marry and bear my husband's children and now I cannot! If we run away together, I’ll never be able to return home! What if our love isn’t destined to make it! What if we fail—”

“Of course I can see you’re afraid, my girl. I see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice! You are safe here, with me. With your Joel! I would never, ever, ever let anything happen to you. We may not live a life of riches, but we would live a life rich in love! I—I can get a job! I will work until my bones break if it means that I get to be with you. I’ll work the railways, the mines! Any job that I can take, I will, and I’ll do it all for you.”

You kissed him then, tasting the salt from your own tears and his upon your locked lips. “We’ll move west! As far west as we can! We’ll see the ocean for the first time, plot out our land and live out our days together!” You murmured against his lips.

“California.” He promised you, kissing you deeply as his hands came to cradle your face, “a sheep ranch with Shadow and Sunfyre.”

“Why sheep, lover?” You asked softly between desperation filled kisses,

“They’re quiet, do as they're told.” He teased, chuckling when you gently swatted at his chest for making such a comment.

“Ha, ha, very funny.” You giggled, which soon turned into a moan when his fingers slipped down to your waist and hastily began to unlace your bodice, while your hand drifted downwards to undo the string on his trousers. Neither of you knew that one of your own ladies, the same lady that had been promised to Joel by your father, caught the two of you in the gardens while she was out for a midnight stroll. Her presence was undetected as you sank down around Joel’s cock beneath your skirts, moaning his name unashamedly as your entwined bodies moved in sync.

June 1st, 1844

“Yes, mother.” You responded in a practiced, complacent sweetness to appease her.

“He will make a fine husband to you, one day.” She added, her perfectly dainty fingers came to rest upon your shoulder, squeezing it with anything but a comforting touch. She didn’t notice the way your gaze lingered on your secret lover, nor did she sense your longing.

“Yes, he will, mother. I look forward to making his acquaintance.”

“Good. You have grown into being a fine young woman, daughter. Your father and I are so very proud of you.”

If only they knew that you were not the perfect, proper lady than they believed you to be, and that your heart belonged to another man.

Your Joel had requested a private audience with your father leading up to the festivities surrounding your monumental birthday. And so after bringing the horses in from the pasture, he made his way to your fathers office, closing the door quietly behind him when he was given permission to enter.

“Sir, I have wonderful news to bestow upon you, Shadow is expectin’. She was showin’ early signs a few weeks back, but it is official.”

“Wonderful news indeed, Joel. And who is the lucky stud?” Your father asked, despite already knowing the answer.

“Sunfyre, sir.”

“Ahh. What a combination. A filly, as black as the night, and a colt, as golden as the sun. I wonder what their offspring will look like.” He mused.

Joel swallowed the lump growing in his throat, his palms growing clammier by the second. He took a deep breath to calm his budding nerves, “Sir, I need to disclose something to you, but before I do, I just wanted to say that I have appreciated being able to confide in you in some capacity. I am grateful that you have taken me under your wing and offered me the chance at having a better life, but your daughter—”

“Joel.” He warned, leaning forward in his chair with his hands clasped together. “Be extremely careful with your choice in words for whatever it is you are about to tell me. Perhaps I need to remind you where your place is? Maybe I should have been wary of confiding in you, boy.”

“Sir, please. You must hear this! If you care about your daughter's happiness, and her well being, you will listen to what I have to say. I swear that our conversations have remained confidential! I have spoken about them to no one, I swear it!”

Your father let out a deep sigh, bringing his hands to his face where he pressed the pads of his fingers into the deep set wrinkles in his forehead. “Go on then.”

“Your daughter—she is unable to bear children. She is afraid of what is to become of her if she cannot bear children for her future husband, sir. And I fear for her as well! Sir, men are unkind, and she is sweet. She is sweet and kind and deserving—”

Your fathers heart slowly began to sink, his composure crumbled because of his darling little girl, who would certainly face a life of hardship and misery if you could not bear children and enact your duties as a perfect wife for your husband. He didn’t agree with it, but that was how society worked. Men ruled the house, and the women cared for their husbands and children. “How do you know of this, Joel?” Your fathers tone wavered, his eyes casting in Joel’s direction and he saw a younger version of himself in your forbidden lover.

“Sir, you know the answer to your own question.” Joel nearly whispered, avoiding direct eye contact and let his gaze fall to a portrait behind your fathers desk, two young men with their arms around one another’s shoulders.

“You love her, don’t you?” His question hung heavy in the air.

Joel froze like a deer that was inevitably caught by hunters in the meadow. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t think as he listened to the sound of blood rushing in his ears and his pulse pounding, “with all of my heart, sir.”

Your father slowly nodded his head in understanding as he let out a sigh, “then you must know that you have to swallow down your feelings for my daughter for her benefit and your own. You are playing a dangerous game, Joel. One that could very well cost you your life.”

“I don’t fucking care. I have never loved another being outside of your daughter. Our love may be frowned upon and forbidden, but it is real. I have felt for her since I was just a mere boy, when the storm was raging outside and she accompanied me to see the birth of Dahlia’s foal. My love for her will never sour, it will never over ripen and rot like the low hanging fruit upon the trees. I have nothing to offer her but my heart, and that holds a weight more valuable than gold or silver.”

Your father smiled, one that did not reach his eyes as he slowly stood from his chair behind his desk and walked in front of it. “You remind me so much of my younger self, Joel. Willing to do anything for the person you love. Despite all the odds being stacked against you.”

Joel took a hesitant step back, the heel of his boot nearly catching along the rug, “do not patronize me, sir. I love your daughter, and nothing will stop me from loving her. Even after death, my love for her will remain.”

“Of course nothing will stop you, Joel. For what else is a man to do when he is in love?” He smiled sadly, a look of longing hidden behind his eyes. Joel knew the look all too well.

“I don’t—I don’t understand.”

“I’m going to tell you something that you have to swear you will never utter to anyone. It is a secret that you must take to your grave, Joel. You cannot even tell my daughter. Are we clear?”

“I swear I will not tell a single soul, sir. Not even your daughter will know.”

“Good, I trust you. You have a good heart, Joel.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Your father reached for his box of cigars, silently offering one to Joel who politely declined. It had been many, many, years since your father spoke about his past, and while he lit the end of the cigar, those memories began to surface. “I meant what I said when I told you that you remind me of my younger self.”

Joel nodded in understanding.

“When I was your age, the world was at my fingertips, Joel. It was my oyster, and I could have any lady of my choosing, but I had to marry. That was my parents one rule upon me was that I had to marry.”

“You could have any lady of your choosing, but it wasn’t a lady that held your affections, was it, sir?”

“No. It was not a lady that held my affections.”

“The man…in the portrait behind your desk, was he your…?”

“Yes, Joel. The man in the portrait was my lover. The butler's son nonetheless. I of course tried to appease my parents and court the finest lady in town, but my heart longed for my lover. We were going to run away together, Joel. It was all planned out, and I was ready to throw away my old life for him. It was, and still is taboo and forbidden to lay with the same sex. We were careful, until I came to him with the grave news that I would have to marry, and that we could no longer be together. He was angry, I was angry, we got reckless, and one night we were caught.”

“By…the lady of the house? Your now wife?”

He nodded, leaning back against the front of his desk, “yes, she was the one who caught us in the act, in my chambers. She screamed so loud, as if she was witnessing a murder! I begged her to keep her voice down but she wouldn’t listen. She was disgusted with me, and proclaimed that I would rot in eternal hell for the sins I committed.”

“What happened…to your lover, sir?”

“My own father nearly beat my lover to death in front of me. I was forced to watch the life drain from his eyes. I begged and begged for him to stop, to let him live! Maybe he would have, if it wasn’t for the lady of the house to spread a rumor that the butler's son came onto me against my will. My father didn’t want to believe that his son was a fairy, and so my lover was sentenced to hang. I visited him for the very last time when he was shackled, malnourished, and begging for death to take him. I stayed with him all night, praying that the sun would never rise. The following morning I was forced to watch him hang. Every single spectator in the crowd, except for me, cheered for the death of another fairy!” He used the back of his hand to swiftly wipe at his eyes when his tears began to well and roll down his cheeks.

“He was buried in an unmarked grave and I went through with marrying the lady of the house. I wasn’t given another choice, and on the night of our wedding, she whispered to me that she knew the truth, and that she wouldn’t hesitate to blackmail me for it.”

“I’m so sorry, sir. Your lover—you, I’m so sorry. I do not understand why people are so cruel and hateful. Love is love, is it not?”

“Please do not sympathize with me, Joel. I do not seek your sympathy. I am telling you this because if you do not swallow your feelings for my daughter, you will surely face the same fate that my lover did! Don’t you understand? She has been promised to another. She meets with the banker's son tonight and in time, they will be married. It is her duty and expectation. And you will have the choice to marry the lady I have chosen for you. Your love for my daughter will fade, and you will be grateful that it did.”

“How dare you! How dare you stand there—you coward! You could have been with your lover now if you had run away together! You had the opportunity, and didn’t seize it?! Don’t stand there and claim that my love for your daughter will fade, when yours for your dead lover has not! You stand there, weeping for him! Your life could have been different—”

Crack

Your fathers cruel fist made direct contact with Joel’s beautiful nose, the force of impact sending him stumbling backwards, clutching his face in despair as blood trickled and dripped between the grooves of his fingers, staining the golden threaded hearthrug in splotches of crimson.

“Get the fuck out of my office. It is clear that you have forgotten your place, boy. You will never marry the likes of my daughter.”

Joel retreated through the office doors with what remained of his dignity. He confided in your father purely out of trust, and he thought it was a mutual feeling. For the rest of the afternoon, leading into the evening, you did not see your Joel.

The banker’s son was polite, well-mannered, but goodness—was he a bore. You had no interest in hearing him drone on about the stock market in New York City. He didn’t bother to ask you about you, or your interests as they were already predisposed by your mother.

Fucking cunt.

He strolled with you in the gardens with your hand lightly grasping onto his elbow. Your eyes wandered off, in search for that familiar stature, and head of distinguishable dark curls as you passed by the stables, but your Joel was nowhere to be found. Your heart sank and you asked the banker’s son, Timothy, if he would mind giving you a moment of privacy in the garden's gazebo. He obliged, but not before he could press an affectionate kiss to the outside of your hand. The bristles in his perfectly groomed mustache tickled your skin before he reluctantly pulled away.

You let out a sigh of relief, your posture returning to a relaxed state as you watched him walk back towards the festivities inside. When you were certain that he was not lingering, you began to nervously pace the short distance inside of the gazebo, muttering about how Joel would never just leave you like this, would he?

Where the fuck was he?

Then you heard it, the groaning of the tired wood beneath his boots, and that warm, deep rasp in his voice. “My dearest.” He croaked, and you immediately knew something was wrong, something had happened. His voice sounded far more nasally, and when you turned around to face him, that’s when you noticed the dry, crusted blood beneath his fractured nose, the rusted blood stains in his white shirt. You ran to him, delicately cradling his beautiful face in your palms.

“My Joel!” You cried, “what has happened? Who has done this to you! Your nose—your beautiful nose!”

“Hush, my darling. It’s—just a fracture, lover. It will heal.” He lowered his tone to a whisper, his hands slowly coming to rest around your waist. “It does not matter who did this to me, my dearest.”

“How can you say such a thing? Joel, please, my love, who did this to you?” You softly begged, thumbs gently stroking the scruff speckled on his strong jaw.

“Your father.” He murmured, bitterness laced in his words.

“What?” You murmured in disbelief, dropping your hands from his face, refusing to believe it. “Why would he do such a thing to you! Joel, please, please tell me what happened!”

“My love, please promise you will not hate me for what I am about to utter. Swear to me that you won’t.” He pleaded, tightening his grip around your waist in fear that you would slip between his fingers like grains of sand.

“I swear it.”

“He knows about us, my dearest. He knows that I love you, and you love me. He knows that you cannot bear children because I am the one who confided in him this afternoon. I did it in hopes that he would understand, and stop the banker's son from courting you tonight. I—I thought maybe we wouldn’t have to run away, and we would be accepted as lovers!”

“Oh Joel, they will never accept us! You stupid, stupid, beautiful little fool.” You sniffled sadly, feeling your tears oncoming. “You are too good for this world and everyone in it! Your heart is made of pure gold, and I love you for it, but now you have put yourself in grave danger! That was so fucking stupid of you to do, lover.”

“My sweet, I may be a fool, but what else is a man to do when he is in love? Your father knows, yes, but now we must seize our opportunity to leave, tonight! The party is in full swing, is it not? No one will notice your absence, my dearest. If we don’t leave tonight, I fear we will never have another chance at eternal happiness.”

You swallow down your tears, melting into his embrace and his words. “The banker’s son waits for me inside, it will be suspicious if I do not return to him within the hour…” you trailed off.

“Are you having your doubts, my love?”

“No, no! Of course not. I am in fear that we will be caught if we aren’t careful, my Joel. I will return to him and you will go to my chambers. Lock the doors and do not open them for anyone. Take the back entrance, through the kitchens! No one will see you, I swear it.” You reached for his hands on your waist, interlocking your fingers through his.

“And you? I cannot fathom thinking of the banker’s son touching—”

“My Joel, please do not allow your thoughts to sour. I am expected to dance with him and when the timing is right, I will come find you. I promise.”

He nodded, bringing your clasped hands up to his face so he could kiss your knuckles, wincing from the dull ache in his nose.

“Together?” He murmured, eyes locking onto yours.

“Always.”

You parted ways after he kissed you, promising you that all this pain would be worth it in the end, and of course, you believed him, for what else is a girl to do when she is in love?

You returned to Timothy’s side, assuring him that you just needed to be alone with your thoughts. He was an understanding man, and you could understand why your father assumed that he would be a perfect match for you, but no one would ever be your Joel. And while you danced, and made small talk with him and his friends, Joel was making his way through the kitchens, ducking into one of the main hallways, muscle memory guiding him the way to your chambers, but unbeknownst to him, he was being followed.

It was a quarter to midnight and your lover could hear the party growing rowdier by the minute even behind your locked doors. He grew weary, doubts settling into his mind that perhaps you had forgotten him. Perhaps you were having a good time with the fucking bankers son. His spirits lifted when he heard the sound of a key being inserted in the lock. He sprung up from the edge of your perfectly made up bed, heart racing in his chest when the doors opened.

His face fell, blood running ice cold when the person revealed behind the door was not you, but the lady who was promised to him by your father. He took a step back, palms growing clammy.

“How did I know that you would be lingering in her chambers, Joel?” She closed the doors behind her and locked them for good measure. “What would her father say if he knew you were in here…hmm?”

“You fucking followed me here, didn’t you, Lady Florence?” He seethed, feeling like an animal trapped in the corner with nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.

“Because you were promised to me, or have you forgotten?” She cocked a brow in his direction, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I never approached you. Never even attempted to court you. Just because her father promised me to you, doesn’t fucking mean shit until actions are taken after words.” He snapped.

“I suppose, but then again, you’re in a not so favorable position, Joel. Trespassing after hours, and in his daughter's chambers nonetheless? I’m almost certain you would hang for such a crime.” She mused, stepping closer to where he had tucked himself nearly into a corner closest to the window. “Perhaps he would love to hear how I caught you and his daughter fucking in the gardens a few weeks back. How truly reckless of you both.” She tsked.

He scoffed at her attempt at blackmailing him in such a petty way. “Your threats are made in vain. Her father already knows about my love for his daughter. He’s well aware, and you look fucking desperate and pathetic at your attempt to blackmail me.”

“Blackmail you? Joel, you have me all wrong!” She laughed, “I don’t have the heart to blackmail you!”

“Then what the fuck do you call what you just attempted to do, hmm? Don’t take me for a fool! You are nothing but a jealous little—”

“Joel? It’s me, my love. I don’t have my key…someone must have nicked it!” You whispered through the outside of the closed door, looking around the vacant hallway anxiously. “Are you in there?”

He strode past Florence, shoulder checking her on his way to the door and quickly unlocked it, ushering you inside before closing and locking it again.

Your eyes landed on his face, and then trailed over his shoulder to Florence, one of your ladies, who you had believed up until this point was loyal, and not a conniving little—

“Lady Florence? What are you doing in my chambers? What is going on?!”

Joel reached for bare forearm with a gentle grip to pull you back. “My dearest, it isn’t what you think! Lady Florence is the one who nicked your key and followed me to your chambers! She cornered me, threatened me with blackmail, and claimed that she caught you and I in the gardens weeks ago!”

“Is this true?” You felt saddened, betrayed, and disappointed. “Flo, how could you do such a thing to me? I thought we were friends!”

“My lady—he lies! I never would steal from you, he is the one to corner me! He sought me out, forcing me into your chambers—” she lied between her teeth, digging herself in a graver hole than she was planning.

“LIAR!” you yelled, ripping your arm from Joel’s grasp, “he would never lay a hand on a lady, nor pressure her! You speak only of lies Florence!”

“Lover! We do not have the time for this! We have to go, we have to go now!” Joel urged you from behind, reaching for your arm again. “She isn’t worth it! Please, we must—”

And then you heard your fathers voice booming down the hall. Your biggest fear was coming true, and now there was nowhere for you or Joel to hide when the doors bursted open, the locking mechanism snapping in half from the force of your father.

“What is the meaning of this?!” He demanded.

Lady Florence, being the snake in the grass that she was, immediately flocked to your fathers side. “Sir! You arrived just in time!” She said exasperatedly, “Your daughter was in her chambers freshening up and I went to go check on her, being the good friend that I am, when I heard her dreadful scream! I came upon the heinous crime of the filthy stable hand taking your daughter against her will!” She wept her crocodile tears. “He threatened to—”

Your father wasn’t buying it for he knew that Florence was a terrible liar, and a rotten friend. “Lady Florence, this does not concern you. Return to the party immediately, and speak this to no one.”

“But sir—”

“GET OUT!” He yelled, pointing an accusatory finger at her. She narrowed her eyes at both you and Joel before slinking out of the room, closing the doors behind her.

You immediately stepped in front of Joel, silently vowing to protect him no matter what would happen, you would not allow your father to harm another hair upon your lover's head.

“Daddy, please, I love him! Please, let us be! I know it goes against what is expected of me, but Joel is a good man! He has only ever been good to me, father!”

“Your mother will never allow it, daughter. All Joel has done is tempted you and filled your head with fantasies! You have been promised to the banker's son and that is final! You think of me to be cruel, but I am only doing what is best for you!”

“I do not care what you think is best for me, father! I do not want to marry the banker's son! I wish to be happy with my one love, and I do not care if that means that you and mother will exile me! I do not care that it means I will no longer live a life of riches! I am rich in love and happiness with him by my side!”

Your father ignored your pleas, even when you clung to his arm and dug your heels in the ground to stop him from advancing towards Joel. “Please, father! Please! I am begging you to leave him be!” You cried, and your words were caught in your throat when the backside of your fathers ring clad hand made swift contact with your cheek, sending you tumbling to the floor in shock. All Joel could see was red behind his eyes when your fathers hand made contact with your cheek. He sprung into action, but your father, despite his age, was quick, ready for Joel’s attack.

“YOU DARE FUCKIN’ LAY A HAND ON HER?!” Your lover yelled with a rage you had never heard leave his lips, “I’LL FUCKIN’ KILL YOU IF YOU LAY A HAND UPON HER AGAIN!”

Your father used Joel’s rage to his advantage, letting the younger man assume he had control of the situation when he was shoved against your tall, wooden chifferobe.

“STOP IT! PLEASE!” You cried, “BOTH OF YOU, PLEASE STOP!”

In your moment of distress, Joel was distracted for a millisecond too long when your fathers fist connected with Joel’s jaw, sending him stumbling back. He landed another hit, and then another, weakening Joel enough that he crumbled to his knees, bringing his arms over his head to block out the fists raining down upon him.

Your father was relentless, grabbing your lover by the back of his neck, yanking it upwards so he was forced to look up at the older man from his knees. He bent down to his level, getting close to his ear and whispered only for him to hear “I warned you this would end badly if you weren’t careful, boy.”

Joel spit a mixture of congealed blood and saliva directly onto his face, spattering it in speckles of crimson. “Fuck you, you coward.” He hissed between gritted teeth.

Your fathers fist trembled, his hand surely was broken, but all he could think about was how he was forced to watch his own lover be beaten in the same fashion, and now he was on the delivering end of it. “Get out.” He seethed. “Leave the property before lady Florence runs her large mouth to the lady of the house and spreads a false rumor about you and my daughter. Leave before I change my mind, Joel.”

Defeat; complete and utter defeat is all Joel Miller felt in his bones when your father released him with a rough shove to the ground. He struggled to sit up, coughing up more blood, and when you attempted to crawl to his side, your father grasped your elbow and yanked you to the door.

your fading screams of his name echoed down the hall as your father dragged you further and further away.

Bruised, beaten, and feeling hopeless, Joel Miller forced himself to his feet and obeyed your fathers word to leave while he still had the chance. He felt like a coward now, but what else could he do? If he stayed, surely he would face the gallows for a crime that he didn’t commit. Lady Florence had infact gone to run her big mouth to the lady of the house, claiming that Joel Miller raped you in your bed chambers. It was of course a fabricated lie, and only lady Florence, Joel, your father, and you knew the truth.

June 4th, 1844

My Dearest,

I am deeply remorseful for the events that transcribed three days ago. I know I have put you in an undesirable situation now with your father’s wishes for your arranged marriage to the rich banker's son. Forgive me, for I don’t care to remember his name. My dearest, do not put the blame upon yourself. If we had known that there were prying, hateful eyes watching us, I would have waited for you in the stables and not inside your chambers. Jealousy drives even the sanest of people to do the unforgivable. The deep wounds your father has inflicted upon me will heal, but my heart? Oh, how it aches for you, my dearest. If I were not a coward, I would turn back and face the gallows just to see your face one last time, for what else is a man to do when he is in love? I’m heading west, like we planned in the gardens, in hopes that you will follow me and go against your father’s wishes. Please write to me soon, tell me that you are safe, and grace me with your sweet words.

Your devoted Joel

Unspecified date.

My Joel,

I write this to you in secret. My words are only for your eyes, and when you receive my letter, tell no one, my lover. Father is angry, so very angry, and mother only speaks of hate towards you. She is determined to make me press charges against you to hang for a crime you did not commit! Father won’t stand for it and instead we have abandoned the estate, left all of our belongings including our dear horses! They will not tell me where we are going, but I miss you terribly, my Joel. My brothers have been free to marry by their choosing, but I? I cannot. It’s rather cruel, isn’t it? To be given one life and since birth, since I first opened my eyes and gazed upon the new world, my choice has been stolen from my grasp. Oh, my Joel, you speak in sorrows, but the fault lands upon my shoulders. I’m so sorry, lover. I should have been more careful and discreet with our planned rendezvous. I deeply loathe Lady Florence for spying upon us! You are right of her jealousy, and now she claims to be remorseful! Oh, I feel your lips now. Your kiss, your touch upon my skin. My love for you has not weakened, I promise. Hold my words close to your heart, my Joel. I fear I will not be able to write to you again, but I will try, for you. My Joel, you are in my thoughts, always.

You have my heart,

Your Dearest.

January 1848, one hour after dusk

The decision to leave Texas and travel to New York to stop yours and the banker’s son’s wedding could quite possibly be the last thing that Joel Miller would ever do. But how could he sleep at night knowing that you were out there, somewhere in the city, thousands of miles away. You had not written to him in so long, but that didn’t deter him from following his heart back to you. He couldn’t fathom life without you in it any longer, and what else is a man to do when he is in love?

That’s how he found himself in the familiar stables, the horses peeking their heads out from their stalls and nickering softly to him in greeting. He kept the single letter you wrote to him safely tucked away in the pocket of his coat, rucksack thrown over his shoulder with what little belongings he possessed. After a new family moved into your home he was given a higher title, a warm bed to sleep in, and he could have married his new boss's daughter and lived a comfortable, happy life, but he declined, for she would never be you, his dearest. Despite turning down every single one of her affections, she still lingered, hoping that one day she would be good enough for his affections and heart.

He was frantically tacking up Sunfyre, cinching up the girth when the barn doors creeped open and Phoebe, his boss’s daughter appeared.

“Joel?” She whispered through the cool evening air, lantern in hand to peer into the low-lit stalls, “what…are you doing?”

He let out a sigh, dropping his hand from the girth and turned around to face her, “lady Phoebe, it’s late. You shouldn’t be out after hours.”

“Neither should you.” She chastised. “Where are you going at this hour, Joel?”

“My lady, that is none of your business. Please, return home. Forget that you ever saw me.”

“You’re going after her, aren’t you? Joel, it’s been years, and she has only written back to you once! It’s in all the papers that she is marrying the banker's son. You could be happy here, with me.” She whispered the last bit, feeling her heart ache for a man who would never feel the same for her.

“Lady Phoebe, “You are a dear friend to me, but I cannot love you, for my heart belongs to another.”

“But I can love you, Joel. I’m right here! She is thousands of miles away and—”

“She is my love, my one true love, and I’ll be damned if I don’t follow my heart. Your heart sings for me, but it’s not my tune to hear. You will belong to another, I promise.” He moved from Sunfyre’s side, grasping Phoebe's hands gently in his calloused palms, “you have to let me, and what could never be between us go.”

May 6th, 1848

My Joel, if you’re out there…please, please come find me, lover.

Your Joel wasn’t even sure how the fuck he was supposed to find you in a city as large as New York City. All he knew is that today you were expected to marry the banker’s son, and he would be damned if he didn’t stop this wedding from happening. He asked nearly every passbery in the street if they knew where the biggest wedding of the month would be taking place. It took less time than expected to find his answer, and once he did, he rented the finest suit that he could afford, tucked the ring box safely in his suit pocket, and rode to the chapel.

The wedding bells were already beginning to sweetly chime, and he felt his blood run cold at the sound. Was he too late? He would never forgive himself if he was.

“If anyone here, in this room objects to the unifying marriage between this man and woman, speak now or forever hold your peace.” The officiant spoke at the head of the altar, just as the doors leading into the chapel burst open.

“I OBJECT!” Joel’s familiar voice boomed up the aisle. Hushed murmurs, and surprised gasps echoed throughout the chapel when your eyes landed upon your Joel. All time ceased as you dropped Timothy’s hands, racing down the aisle, the train of your perfectly fitted wedding dress dragged behind you.

Tears flooded your eyes as you threw yourself into your lover's embrace, clinging to him in disbelief with your hands cradling his face. “MY JOEL, YOU CAME FOR ME!”

“Of course I did, my dearest. For what else is a man to do when he is in love?” He murmured, unable to truly process all the feelings he was experiencing at once. But what did it truly matter? The time apart was years, but it was all worth it leading up to this moment.

Your father was already making his way down the aisle, followed by your mother and Timothy when Joel grasped your hand tightly in his and whisked you down the aisle towards the exit. He wasn’t going to let them take you away from him again, not this time.

His grip on your hand did not loosen at the harsh sound of your fathers voice, and even when you were running down the chapel steps in unison, he did not let go until you and him were safely tucked behind a wall of a building, out of sight from the wedding party.

He kept you safely caged against the wall, a burst of memories from the night of firsts that you shared together all those years ago. “My dearest,” he breathed, “I thought I was too late! I thought the wedding already happened and you—”

“My Joel, I—I never thought I would see you again! I only ever received your single letter and I thought that you had moved on, that you had forgotten about me!”

“What?” He shook his head, brows furrowed as he grabbed your hands and brought them to his lips, kissing every inch of your skin there. “My Dearest, I wrote to you many, many times! Did you receive all of my letters? I thought the same! I thought you forgot about your Joel.” He admitted quietly.

“Fuck! I bet it was mother, or father! I bet they were keeping your letters from me, lover! Maybe they thought that if I believed you had forgotten me, I would be more inclined to marry the banker’s son!”

“I would believe that to be true, my sweet. But none of that matters, okay? I’m here now. Your Joel is here, and I will never leave your side again.”

“I-I can’t believe you’re here! Oh, my Joel, I’m so sorry—for everything! I have not stopped thinking about you all these years, I swear it. My heart only has ever belonged to you. I wear his ring, but it means nothing to me!”

“Shh, my love. I know, I know. My heart has only ever belonged to you, my dearest. Only to you. Fuck his ring. I will remove it from your finger so you never have to gaze upon it again.” He rasped, gently grabbing your left hand, scoffing at the enormous rock on your ring finger. “And I will replace it with my own.”

“Please, my Joel.”

He slipped the banker’s son’s ring off of your finger, tucking it into his pocket before he pulled out his own ring box, revealing a smaller, dainter ring beneath the velvet cover.

“It’s not much, and I’m sorry that I couldn’t grace your finger with the largest diamond the world has ever seen, but—I love you, dearest. I came all this way because I couldn’t possibly fathom the thought of losing you to another. I have never loved another soul as I do you, and while I don’t have riches to offer you, shiny carriages, silver platters, I have my heart and I know that it’s worth something to you, darlin.’”

He slipped his ring onto your finger, where it always belonged, and then you finally kissed him, your lips meeting in gentle brush before he surged forward, kissing you with everything that he had to offer. He believed that he was hallucinating, that he was back in Texas, longing for you in his empty bed. But you were here, you were real beneath his fingertips as he licked sweetly into your mouth, hands splayed around your waist, holding you close.

“It’s perfect, my Joel.” You murmured against his lips.

“Only because the lady that wears it is the most beautiful in the entire world. Sunfyre is waiting for us down the street. We can go as far east, west, wherever your heart desires. I will love you eternally, and no one will ever keep us apart, my dearest. I swear it.”

“Let’s go home, my Joel. To Texas. Take me home.”

And so he did, for what else is a man to do when he is in love?

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reallyromealone · 1 day

Note

would you do a rindou x reader omegaverse nsfw one-shot? 😬😪

(Ignore if no)

Title: little Succubus

Fandom: Tokyo revengers

Characters: Rindō, reader insert

Fic type: nsfw, omegaverse,

Pairings: Rindō x reader

Warnings: male reader, reader insert, omegaverse, demon au, succubus, smut, nsfw, Omega male reader, blood play, Dom and sub themes, spanking, Rindō calls reader names, Rindō is mean, praise, sweet words, reader doesn't feed off people because he's nervous

Notes:

🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

(Name) Was starving as he crawled up the large California King bed, a handsome alpha sleeping in no more than boxers as (name)sat on his lap, feeling the others large bulge "I'm sorry... I'm just so hungry" (name) always felt a sense of guilt when feeding, usually keeping it to kissing but he had been so busy with work and... Just a kiss..." (Name) Whispered as he gently cupped the man's strong jaws, his inner omega praising the very strong alpha, he could definitely provide...

(Name) Kissed so softly and sweetly as they tried to use their magic to make sure the Alpha just had a nice dream... Though it didn't work? Pulling away (name) opened his eyes to see that the Alpha was awake and staring smugly "a little rude don't you think?" Rindō said with a shit eating grin as he sat up, pulling (name) closer as the cute little demon looked flustered "I-I was only taking a bit of energy! You should be asleep! Why aren't you asleep!" He said flustered as he looked at the tattooed alpha... Wait those tattoos looked familiar.

Shit.

Large black bar wings spread out behind him, the high ceilings and large bed made sense now as (name) looked at the large horns on the Incubus' head as his eyes turned to a pure glowing shade of amethyst. A large tail snaked from behind him and coiled around (name)s smaller and cuter one "you haven't been eating, kisses are barely a midnight snack let alone a proper meal, idiot" Rindō sniffed at (name)s neck "you're so weak you can't even smell the difference of a demon and a human"

"I-i feel bad taking it that way..."

"You're a virgin" Rindō said in a moment of realization with a bigger grin than he thought possible as he pinned the other to the bed "a succubus Omega whose a virgin... Never thought I would see it" Rindō watched as (name) looked ready to explode with embarrassment "stop bullying me! " He shouted angrily as Rindō chuckled lowly "human raised... You have that innocence that humans have... A little half breed" Rindō sniffed out the human aspects of the other, he and his brother were pure demon choosing to live in the mortal world, operating a crime cindacate with fellow demons.

Before (name) could fire something back, Rindō grabbed him by his neck and kissed him, long tongue taking control as (name) let out a moan, slick already pouring from him and brain getting foggy.

When Rindō pulled away, he looked at his work as (name) looked fucked out from a kiss alone "feels good right? Getting energy from a demon tastes way better than some human" (name) nodded as pink pharamones leaked from him, like fog on a spring morning though it was something only demons could see, easier to tell who was more willing to fuck.

"You wanna be full, huh baby? A cute succubus like you going without a good fucking is just criminal" the Alpha tutted as he freed his cock from his boxers, if (name) was human-- well fully human --- that thing would have killed him. Thirteen inches and thick as a coke can, the demons knot barely expanded as he spread (name)s legs and rubbed up and down his thighs while looking at the others cute little shorts, (name)a succubus form consisting of tiny short shorts a tight crop top that was ripped apart by Rindō "wait!" (Name) Panicked as the Alpha looked primal but halted his hands "i-i don't know your name" (name) said worried and Rindō looked stunned before laughing, leaning up to kiss him "god you're cute, think I'm gonna keep you~" he chuckled as (name)s omega preened at the concept "the names Rindō, what's yours pretty?"

"(Name)...." The Omega whispered as his black wings fluttered at the compliments the Incubus spoke, he knew that lust demons were good with words and shouldn't be so easily affected but... It felt nice.

Rindō kissed down his chest, exposed and perky as his long tongue swirled around the nipple, mouth tearing open to reveal his sharper teeth and (name)s eyes slowly turned a hazy (color) as he took in the pleasure as Rindō looked smug at the others reaction as his hand moved to play with the others much smaller cock, giving a harsh tug as (name)s hips bucked up to chase the pleasure "you must be hungry, you're absorbing so much~" Rindō could feel the Omega drain his energy as his cute fangs grew sharper and his pharamones sweeter, thank god he had enough energy to run Tokyo for a year.

"Alpha ~!" (Name) Cried out as he clung to the other, Rindō pleased that the omegas already claiming him as his wrists made a feeble attempt at scent marking him "yeah? You want alpha, Omega?" Rindō chuckled as (name) nodded feverishly, he was so hungry...

Rindō could tell the other was losing himself to his instincts, Omegan and demonic which was a dangerous combo for any human but thankfully Rindō could take him easy as (name) crawled on him and pushed him down, nails clawing at Rindōs chest as he looked at the others tattoos hungrily "come on baby, take what you want from alpha~" Rindō cooed as he allowed his cute Omega to dominate him even just a little, when (name) wasn't starving he would put him in his place but he knew the cutie just needed a damn good meal.

(Name) Clawed at the others chest, seeing traces of blood before licking up the lines with a moan and sitting up to see the others cock and a wave of nervousness washed over him and Rindō tutted "getting ahead of yourself baby, want alpha to help you?" His voice condescending as his hands groped the others ass cheeks "silly little Omegas need help, especially naughty ones who starve themselves for silly morals" Rindō couldn't help himself, throwing the concept of letting (name) do as he wanted out the window as his large hand swatted down at (name)s plump ass and watched him jolt with a moan.

A succubus didn't feel pain, neither did an Incubus... Anything would feel nothing short of pure pleasure.

"Humans couldn't give you what you need, huh? Needed an incubus cock to satisfy that hunger, a filthy little cock slut pretending to be something he's not" Rindōs words were venomous as he bit at (name)s scent gland and fingers went to the others ass, rubbing and teasing before pushing in and without warning he aggressively began fucking his fingers into the other.

Rindō watched as (name) threw his head back with a scream like moan, legs shaking as Rindō aggressive rubbed at his prostate and the poor Omega clawed and bit at the alphas shoulder and back, gutteral moans escaping his lips as an orgasm rolled through "you feel good baby?"

"Full...." (Name) Mumbled as Rindōs fingers left his gaping ass only to replace it with something far better "well better stuff you good for good measure!" Rindō plunged his cock in, a sadistic grin as (name) took him body shaking and convulsing as the poor thing struggled to process and adjust to his cock, maybe he was too much for the succubus.

Then he saw the others eyes, cute heart rings glowing "you wanna feel real good baby?" Rindō mumbled into his ear and (name) nodded frantically at the idea of feeling even better as Rindō placed a hand on his abdomen and began thrusting, mumbling enxantations as a womb tattoo graced the omegas stomach, increasing his pleasure ten fold and watching as (name) began cumming uncontrollably.

Rindōs thrusts were hard and aggressive as his thighs slapped (name)a ass cheeks and his large wings entrapped (name) nice and close to him as the two kissed sloppily, orgasm after orgasm escaping the poor succubus as the two fed off one another, the poor Omega practically putty in his arms as he let the other fuck him stupid.

"Wanna be mine, pretty? Be mine forever? Only feed off me?" Rindō asked teasingly and (name) bared his neck, surprising the other a bit but grinned none the less as he bit into his neck, venom flowing into (name) as his knot caught and cum began pouring into the other, poor (name) barely conscious.

"Good boy... Nice and full now? Don't worry... Alpha will keep you well fed every day, keep you do nice on my cock" his omega would be his and his alone, he would remove any silly thoughts out of his pretty head and (name) would belong to him and bare his spawn.

It would be perfect.

#tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x male reader #tokyo revengers fluff #male reader #bonten x reader #omegaverse #omega male reader #x male reader #anime x male reader #anime x reader #smut #rindou x male reader #haitani rindou x reader

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vroomvroomcircuit · 2 days

Text

From all four corners of the world comes my love 4 you

(A/N): This has been written with the inspiration @foreveralbon brought me. I love you and your incredibly mind, honey

Summary: Lando's girlfriend is a seamstress working at a tailor shop. She is repairing his clothes, he is cutting holes into his sleeves. Together, they release the cutest merch

Pairing: Lando x fem!reader

Warnings: None, this is so fluffy, I'm crying myself to sleep. I need a Lando like this

Wordcount: 2.9k

🏎Masterlist🏎 __________________________

(Y/N) thinks she is about to go crazy. Manic even.

Over and over again she patches up holes in her boyfriend’s long sleeves.

And over and over again new holes appear. It’s like this is her Sysiphus task. Just repairing Lando’s clothes day in and day out.

Don’t get her wrong. (Y/N) does this for three different reasons.

The first being that she is a seamstress, working in a tailor shop. This craft is how she pays her rent and food.

The second reason is that she really can’t have her boyfriend go out looking like he just got picked up at the side of the road begging for a warm meal and shelter.

The third reason may be less obvious than the previous ones. Acts of services is (Y/N)’s love language. She is not particularly good at letting people around her know of the appreciation she holds for them. Verbally at least. It’s not the way she grew up. She learned that actions speak louder than words can. So patching up her boyfriend’s clothes gives the young woman the opportunity to prove how much she loves him. She just hopes that Lando understands the meaning as it is intended.

Little does (Y/N) know, Lando really appreciates her patching up holes. What he isn’t a big fan of is when she repairs those that are intentional. The ones in his long sleeves are put there on purpose.

While (Y/N) is meticulously sewing, Lando goes snip snip in the other room with a pair of scissors. He just loves having sleeve paws, but it’s annoying when his thumbs are jailed in.

“Lando, have you seen my scis- What are you doing there?!” He turns around, looking at his girlfriend like a child being caught with their hands in the cookie jar. “Freeing my thumbs?” He tries to explain in a small voice, scared that she is about to go off on him for ruining his clothes.

(Y/N) sits down next to him on the ground. “If you have told me you want thumb holes, I could have done it for you. I would hem them for you, so they won’t fry. If you want me to, can I take some of your shirts to the shop tomorrow and work on them during slow times?” The way Lando’s eyes light up makes her wish for a camera to keep the memory of it.

(Y/N) not only fixes the holes in his sleeves.

“Love, would you put another patch on my jeans?” Lando saunters into her little crafting room. When she moved into his apartment in Monaco, he insisted on transforming a guest room into her own sewing cave. It was only fair. He got his gaming room as his hobby room, so his girlfriend needs her own territory too.

The room is filled with different sewing machines, one wall is decorated with threads of all kinds, colors and thicknesses. Several shelves are overflowing with different fabrics of any kind imaginable. Every shade, pattern or reflection that any crafter would kill for. Lando really spoils her and happily let’s (Y/N) run loose in a craft store, draining his credit card to her heart's fullest content.

(Y/N) would feel bad, if it wasn’t for the big difference in salaries they sport. Also, it is Lando’s way of treating his girl. Instead of flowers or a bag he buys her a new Bernina B 325, which is not something she is exactly complaining about. They share most of their expenses, but still, working at a tailor shop will never make you a millionaire.

Currently working on her own project of making a quilt out of scrap fabric for Max’s upcoming birthday, (Y/N) barely looks up to her boyfriend. “Yes, of course, sunshine. Just put it over there and I’ll have a look at it in a bit. Do you have any preference for the new patch? I ordered city themed ones a few days back and they arrived today.”

Without having to be pointed into the direction, the Brit already goes through the drawer that is solely dedicated to the patches (Y/N) accumulated during the last few years.

If he is being honest, that kind of work of hers is his favorite. Lando is just amazed by the different shapes, colors and themes her collection entails and how her delicate efforts bring a new individual mark to his favorite pair of jeans.

“I think I want to go with this one,” he mumbles after sifting through the drawer. Lando places a small rose next to the currently used sewing machine for her to not have to search for it in the midst of the chaos that is going on on the several desks in this hobby room.

He actually loves spending some down time here, especially when his girlfriend is working on her own projects. Lando hides under one of the desks, sometimes scrabbling away on pieces of paper for the next helmet sketch, sometimes answering some important emails on his laptop and other times he lies down between different piles of fabric and takes a nap. Having (Y/N) hack away with the machine, occasionally cursing under her breath when she pinches herself sewing something by hand or the music playing on a low volume brings Lando great comfort.

Spending quality time this way is secretly Lando’s happy place that he visits mentally during stressful patches when he is away.

A couple days later the door to the tailor shop (Y/N) works at rings the bell, alerting her of a new customer. “I’ll be with you in a second!” She calls from an adjoining room, cleaning up her work space from the trims that have been left by the jeans she just shortened.

“How can I hel- LANDO!” The young woman exclaims, rounding the register to jump into his arms. “I thought you’ll return from Australia tomorrow”, she murmurs into his shirt. The thumbs are, of course, able to escape through the holes she recently cut and hemmed like promised.

He laughs into her hair. “I wanted to surprise you and pick you up from work like the good boyfriend I am. I also got you something from ‘Straya.” Out of thin air (his back pocket actually) Lando procures a small stack of Australia themed patches.

“Oh, honey, they are perfect. Thank you so so much!” She kisses him all over the face until finally putting her lips onto his. “Just let me close the shop and we can go home and enjoy our evening.” Lando presses another kiss onto her lips, “Hurry up, I can’t wait holding you in my arms again.”

While (Y/N) packs her things up, Lando goes through a stack of different fabrics. One in particular catches his eye.

“Hey love, where did you get this heart patterned fabric? What do you have planned with that?” (Y/N) pops her head in to see what her boyfriend is pointing to. “Oh, that one. The owner was negotiating a deal with a new supplier and wanted to check out the quality. We wanted to see if this one is durable enough to make shirts out of it.”

An idea is forming in Lando’s app, that he quickly puts down in the notes app on his phone.

She emerges from the side room with her back and something else. “Would you try this on for me?” (Y/N) asks innocently, handing Lando a jean jacket. It is a bit oversized on him, just the way he likes.

“It’s pretty nice. What do you need me to model this fo- This is one of the patches I just gave you!” Lando admires the kangaroo that looks like it’s taking a jump on the sleeve. “I thought this would be a fun little project for the season. After every race I’ll put a patch from that country on the jacket. I can also stitch some additions onto it as well for when you get a podium or win or are voted as driver of the day and so on. Just, I thought this could be something cute.” (Y/N)’s face heats up the more she talks about her idea.

Lando pulls her into his arms, squishing his girlfriend as close as possible to his body. “Thank you, you don’t know how much I appreciate the work and thought you put and are putting into this.”

Like the proud trophy boyfriend he is, Lando loves modeling whatever his girlfriend sewed, patched up or created and pimped up in some other way while entering the paddock. Just as he predicted mentally, the fans are going crazy about his jacket online as he wears it on Wednesday for media day.

“I see, (Y/N) loved the patches you bought her. At least dragging me through every craft store in Melbourne that I know of has paid off for you”, Oscar remarks dryly as he watches Lando hanging up the jacket in the hospitality.

“Yeah mate, she sewed it on immediately. It’s her newest project, putting on a patch for every country we race in during this season after the race. She also wants to add a bunch of things for special occasions during the races.” Lando explains fondly the thought process behind the jacket.

As he is leaving the paddock later that day and signing several cards, caps and other merch, some fans ask him where he got the jacket from. “Oh, that old thing? I’ll gatekeep this one. Good luck on finding the store.” He answers a young woman while putting a bracelet she handed him on his wrist.

He hasn’t gone public with his girlfriend yet. The people know that he is in a relationship with Lando having started an already several months long soft launch, that includes their socked feet during movie nights and her backside in beautiful sunset scenes. So nobody knows what she does for work and the two of them want to keep the little bubble of secrecy they have so far going for a bit longer. Out of the public eyes without the pressure of fans and media.

It felt like a scavenger hunt going online and seeing fans and other media outlets trying to find Lando’s particular jean jacket. For the two of them it becomes their evening entertainment, reading up how everyone and their mother are losing their minds from not being able to detect where it is from.

“The chat is asking about that dumb cloth again. Just tell them where you got it.” Max groans, even his own chat during the stream isn’t safe from the assault. Lando, who chills on his bed while waiting for a message from his girlfriend about her being done with work, just smiles. “Come one, please lift the secret. I can’t even roll my eyes often enough times, that is how annoyed I am by this whole thing.”

The Brit loves the suspension around the subject, but gets up and saunters over to the monitors. “Ok Chat, I will only say it once and never again. Get your pens and papers out and write it down. So, this jean jacket with the patches is a designer piece. You can’t get it anywhere else, it was custom made and no, the designer doesn’t want to go into mass production with that one. But I am cooking something up. Just be patient, I feel like I will be able to make a deal for you. I just need to work my magic, but that takes time. My name is not Tinkerbell.”

His little sass tirade is broken up by the ping of his phone, making Lando scramble for it to see his love’s text. “Chat, do you see how down bad that man is for his girlfriend?” Max ridicules Lando, giving him payback for all the teasing against himself.

While the chat is going insane, with the certainty that this moment has been clipped and will be used for edits by the fans, Lando just smiles at his phone, shooting a quick reply of picking her up. After that he packs his stuff and throws a quick goodbye to Max and the stream, onto the way to the tailor shop.

There she stands, his love in all her glory in front of the closed store. “Didn’t I tell you to wait in the building for me? It’s dangerous to be out alone, especially for such a beautiful person like you!” Lando scolds her lightly when he reaches her, taking her bag from her shoulder, throwing it onto his own back.

But (Y/N) presses a kiss to his lips, trying to soothe him. “It’s all ok. When I saw the headlights of your car, I stepped out and closed the shop behind me. I knew that my Tinkerbell was close by in case I needed saving.”

Lando wants to reciprocate the kiss, but stops mid air when he processes her words. “You watched the stream?” That shocks him a bit, because (Y/N) usually keeps out of this part of his life. It’s not really her world, streaming and gaming. So that’s one of the hobbies they don’t share, being the healthy couple, without a horrible codependency, they are.

“No, a friend sent me that clip a few minutes earlier”, she snickers, “Were you talking about me? About wanting to work a deal out?” Lando throws his arm around her shoulders, leading the young woman into the direction of where he parked his car. “I did. Originally I planned on woohing you by a nice candle light dinner and after that I wanted to ask you if you were open with making a few designs for LN4. The fans are going crazy over the pants and jacket. You also have the eye for the details that I love on clothes. It would make me so happy to hold something in my hands that we both worked on, to know that people in the whole world will wear it.”

(Y/N) looks up at her boyfriend, watching his side profile while he is rambling about the meaning of a collab between the two of them. How he can’t stop smiling over the excitement of the prospect of their merch line together, the way his eyes light up, his free hand gesturing while explaining a few ideas he has saved on his phone. She can’t help but press another kiss onto his cheek, effectively quieting him down.

“I will make that collab with you happen. I already have a few things drawn out in a notebook, I was just too scared to show you the sketches, not wanting to intrude or impose myself onto your business.”

Instead of saying anything, he just picks her up and throws them in a circle. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He repeats over and over, both laughing about his childish antics.

A couple of months, several trial and errors as well as creative differences later, they stand in a studio, overseeing the photoshooting with the new collection.

“Wouldn’t this be the perfect way to launch our relationship to the public? With your face visible in the pictures?” Lando muses out loud while looking over a rack with hoodies. (Y/N) throws him a shocked look. “I mean, we can take a couple of pictures together with a few articles and also take a few of you individually too. The world needs to know the mastermind of these designs. You need to take credit for all the hard work you have done.” He explains, taking her hand and gesturing to the set up with the other.

She lets the idea rummage a bit in her head. It would be the perfect way to go public, especially since this is the first time her designs are commercially sold. (Y/N) breaks out into a smile, nodding rapidly. Lando can’t help but also smile, getting infected by his girlfriend’s happiness.

Weeks after that the new merch drop gets released to social media. The press and fans are eating up the couple's pictures, finally having a face to the woman, who is able to fluster Lando through text messages alone.

The clothes itself also get the best feedback.

A variety of the jean jacket and patched pants are now available for fans to buy, being able to kind of replicate Lando’s paddock look, coupled with a heart patterned hoodie from the collection.

But nothing gets close to the original with the many hand sewn details on Lando’s jacket, even when fans try to imitate them. A nice side effect is seeing other people picking up the craft of hand sewing and stitching.

Many people swoon over the long sleeves with cut out thumb holes. They especially love the heart shape of the holes.

It’s a perfect detail to the name of the new line.

‘From all four corners of the world comes my love 4 you’ is printed in one way or another on every piece.

Because no matter the distance between Lando and (Y/N), they can feel the love for each other over any distance.

#lando norris fanfic #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris #lando norris x fem!reader #x reader #x fem!reader #reader insert #lando norris x you #lando norris fluff

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jqnehr · 13 hours

Text

dr ratio x fem!reader. it is currently 1:13am so that explains the very poor quality of this drabble. thank you and good night.

Dr Veritas Ratio is an idiot.

Of course, he would rather fling himself off the highest floor of The Reverie Hotel than sooner admit the truth. And it’s even worse when that bozo is the one to point it out.

“Never would’ve thought you had a romantic bone in your body,” Aventurine remarked, that same signature, permanently flirtatious tone of his grating on the Doctor’s frayed nerves even more. The blond man casually flipped a gold coin in the air over and over and over, shooting his companion a devilish smirk. “Seems like a certain young woman has finally proven that theory wrong, huh, doc? Shall I call you an ‘idiot in lo—’”

A stick of chalk smacked into the wall mere millimetres away from the sly merchant’s forehead beside him—and the sheer force of the throw was evident. If it had his its mark—which was right between Aventurine’s eyes—he would be a very dead man.

Aventurine coolly glanced at the cracked, utterly splintered hole in the wall beside him where the piece of chalk only just stuck out of, and then set his unruffled gaze on his friend, lips curled up into a wily smirk. “Thank you for proving my point, buddy.”

“Leave,” Vertias ordered, voice low, almost a growl. “I won’t miss next time.”

Aventurine rolled his eyes and leaned forward, elbows on his knees, staring up at the doctor on the other side of the room over the top of his expensive shades. “Oh, you’re an idiot in love, alright. What’s keeping you, the oh-so-handsome-and-brilliant star scholar of the Intelligensia Guild from sweeping her off her feet and whisking her away, off into the sunset? Scared of a little rejection?”

Veritas had another piece of chalk ready to throw at Aventurine in his hand, but it had long crumbled to white dust within his taut, knuckled hold, veins bulging up along his strong forearm. Aventurine regarded the physical, silent reaction with a lifted brow. Dr Ratio threw a murderous glare over his shoulder at the man on the couch, sitting there like he owned the damn place, and unclenched his jaw to say, “I will drag you by the hair out if you don’t leave yourself.”

Aventurine shrugged, hands up in a surrendering fashion, his eyes closed and mouth up into a languid, knowing, and mock-innocent smile. “You never liked admitting to things, Vertias, have you? I wonder what you would do if I happened to tell a particular young lady that the Doctor of Idiots eagerly awaited her presence so late at night…”

“You will do no such thing! I swear to the Aeons, Aventurine, if you pull any kind of trick or tactic around that woman, so help me, I will—”

“Beat me into a pulp with your book—yes, yes.” He feigned a long suffering sigh. “But, really, Veritas—what do you expect to happen when neither of you will make a move? I’ve no choice but to act as your wingman and hitch you both up by proxy. Isn’t that what friends do?”

Ratio muttered something unintelligible under his breath, but Aventurine caught something along the lines of “no fool who gambles his day away is a friend of mine” before the doctor dumped the crushed chalk into a bin beside the sofa he had jumped up from in a rage. “Get off my back about it. She’s way out of my league, anyway. I am much too eccentric, intelligent, extraordinary and handsome for such a dull woman as her.”

Aventurine was silenced, merely staring at the mauve-haired man before him with a look of utter repugnance, unable to believe his ears. Then he went back to flipping his coin. “Ah, yes, because women just love vain men who always patronise and snub them. Because men making women feel inferior is the standard, isn’t it, Veritas?”

“Oh—don’t give me that. You know I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Right, because calling the woman you obviously love ‘dull’ is the key to sweeping her off her feet.”

“Would it kill you to quit being sarcastic for once, Aventurine?” Veritas was getting quite ready to dump a pillar on him. “If you’re going to continue to be a bother, get out! As if you know what you’re talking about. You’ve never been in love! All you care about is money, and women are just tools to you!”

Aventurine opened his mouth to protest, but Veritas was on a roll—and when he got yapping, he really got yapping. “At least I don’t consider her as an asset to use and discard at will! For she is—despite all her clear and rather mortifying faults—is a woman of valour and poise! Her company is much more edifying than the one of a greedy man who never stops flipping a damn coin! I just cannot believe—”

“There you have it, Veritas.” Satisfied, Aventurine finally stood to his feet, shoving his hands into his pockets, making his way to the door, giving his friend a finger gun on his way by. “Congrats. You’ve finally admitted it out loud. Just wife her up already.”

The door clicked shut. Veritas was left alone. Left alone with the harrowing realisation that he does want to marry you, for you’re the only one he has discovered he can suffer—and who can bear with him—and that he’s deeply, madly in love, and that’s not something even his precious alabaster mask can hide.

I am done for. With a groan, Veritas flopped onto the couch and stared up at the ceiling, pondering Aventurine’s words despite his distaste.

And when he saw you again the next day, sipping away peacefully at a cup of coffee, he was suddenly quite happy to admit to it.

Doctor Vertias Ratio was, well and truly, an idiot in love.

i have recently caught up w hsr and let me TELL you. the CHOKEHOLD this man has had me in since day 1 😭 he won’t leave me ALONE so here we are.

and aventurine <3

#dr ratio x you #dr ratio x reader #dr ratio x y/n #dr ratio #hsr dr ratio #dr ratio hsr #veritas ratio #honkai star rail #dr ratio honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #hsr aventurine #aventurine honkai star rail #honkai star rail aventurine #star rail aventurine #aventurine hsr #i needed to get this off my chest dhmu #hsr drabbles #hsr

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bluebellowl · 1 day

Note

I love the way you draw and color the twins' eyes. the menacing glow is my favorite thing! 💛

Thanks!! I'm having great fun with them too!! I know their glowing eyes are most probably just a texture thing in Legends Arceus, and I even think in that game everyone's eyes do that. They just don't react to the shader, but Ingo's iris just have the brightest colour, so we're most likely to say that his eyes actively glow.

Another thing I do is stick to the manic stare they have in the official Pokemon BW art. Eyecolour is only like 0,01 shades darker than the white of the eyes, no eyelids covering the iris; just pure madness in those eyes.

For a good while, I'd also do that gradiant from darker grey to light grey like they do in Legends Arceus and Masters Ex but I stopped at some point and just made them as piercing as possible òwó

#pokemon #submas #legends arceus #black and white #subway boss Ingo #Subway master Emmet #Warden ingo #answering questions #pla #bw

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katiapostsss · 3 days

Text

DRABBLE:

flowers ( sam monroe )

enjoy! (i hate this)

〰️

love with sam monroe would be messy.

he wouldn't know immediately how to do it, as he grew up without much of it in actuality, but for you, he'd try.

he wouldn't know your favorite flower, but he'd study the way you'd study each and every carnation you passed, especially ones of pink and crimson shades. he wouldn't know what kind of candy you favored, but he'd note the way you'd eye every snickers bar in the sweets section of your favorite store. he wouldn't know if you liked receiving letters or not, but he'd acknowledge the way you'd always write them to friends and family for any special occasion.

no, he wouldn't be the best boyfriend. no, he wouldn't be good at love, but, at the same time, he's observant. heedful, as all the quiet ones are. he knows you just because he is, actually, just because he watches so carefully, he can read you like a book. what you want, when you want it, how you want it, why.

so a hard week you explained exasperatedly, in detail, to him late in the night, only half-drunk but fully out of it, was what led to this.

you had already had a bad day at school today, and not being able to find the spare key your parents always left aside for you, underneath the welcome mat, was not helping your case. grunting under the heavy weight of your backpack, you searched everywhere for it, the gutter, the watering pot... and after lifting the mat from the ground altogether, you finally found it, moved slightly from the spot you had left it in, which you'd worry more about if you weren't so damn tired.

swiping it up and pushing it into the lock, you threw open the door and kicked off your shoes, slinging your bag to the floor and nearly collapsing with it. forcing your feet up the steps, you pressed your palms to your eyes and rubbed there, as if to rub your exhaustion away, which was really no use. the good thing was, your parents were out of town for vacation so you had the entire house to yourself.

maybe i'll visit sam later. he was only a three minute drive away after all. then again, you were so tired. you wanted sleep. but you also wanted sam. at least, you wanted him to be with you. plopping on your empty bed, you withdrew your phone from your pocket and opened your messages, swiping to his contact.

come over please?

a moment later—

i've had a bad day

you knew he was coming without having to check his response, and when there was fumbling downstairs, 20 minutes later, you knew he was letting himself in with the spare key. you dragged yourself from half-slumber, rubbing the dregs of rest from your eyes and forcing yourself into a sit.

he was taking off his shoes when you began walking down the steps, and as the stairs were just by the entrance, you could already see his down-turned face. and the flowers in his hand.

"sam?" you spoke curiously as you walked off the last step, hands on the railing and opposite wall and eyes flicking from the bouquet to his face. he was just now turning to you, his relaxed stance shifting until he was slightly tense. you stopped before him, confused.

"are you alright?" he asked, his shoulders slightly bunching. the hand that held the flowers dropped an inch or two.

instead of answering his question, you reached out and lightly touched one of the many, pink petals, admiring the carnations. "sam, are these.. for..?"

"you said you had a bad day," he answered quickly, shrugging and retreating his hand slightly. "i just figured.. do you not..? like them..?" as soon as the words were spoken, your exhaustion dissipated. a smile spread across your face, and an overwhelming amount of happiness took the place of confusion. you looked up at him, searching his eyes. for what? you didn't know. they caught on yours. brimming with joy, you threw your arms around him, squishing the flowers between you and burying your face in his neck.

"of course i like them!"

it took him a moment, but soon, he relaxed and rubbed down your back. "are you alright?" he repeated.

but you were just so.. he hadn't done anything like this before, and you hadn't been dating for long. was this considered progress? pulling back, you took the flowers, grinning giddily down at them. "i'm— this is— thank you, yes, i'm okay. thank you, sam. oh my— how did you know—? these are my favorite! they're so pretty!" you rambled, squeezing them to your chest. when you looked up at him, you found his eyes, usually cold and blue, softened, slight red on his cheeks.

"guessed," he stated simply, even though he knew that was a lie. perhaps it was because he was much too prideful to admit he loved you to that measure, but that was probably not the case. maybe because he just wanted to enjoy the moment. maybe because he was too scared himself to come to that conclusion, that he watched you so carefully, because he loved you so deeply. either way, sam monroe wasn't the best boyfriend, but he knew you. and he used that to his advantage, always.

hey guys! this sucks but i barely have anything written for sam and last time i posted was a while ago so this is filler, love you ❤️

#sam monroe x reader #sam monroe #sam monroe x you #sam monroe x y/n #life as a house #anakin skywalker #hayden christensen #fanfic #hayden #star wars #anakin x reader #star wars anakin #fandom #anakin fanfiction #katiapostsss #katiawrites

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angelwonie · 6 hours

Text

GUARD DOG || simon 'ghost' riley

PAIRING: simon 'ghost' riley x price’s daughter fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 10.7k (I need to be sedated)

GENRE(S): smut, fluff, bodyguard au?, slowburn

SUMMARY: due to the dangerous circumstances the 141 find themselves in, your father asks his most trusted lieutenant to take care of you. he does.

WARNINGS: smut [unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), fingering, degradation, praise, daddy kink, AGE GAP (simon’s in his 30s, reader in her 20s), manhandling, dirty talk, pussy + tit slaps, fucking in headlock oops, size kink, brat taming], consumption of alcohol, simon picks reader up.

“Soldiers don’t usually come here.”

That’s what you’d told Simon Riley on the night he met you—clad in a tight skirt and an even tighter top—at a bar he had visited out of an unidentifiable emotion. Boredom, maybe. Irritation. Work was fucking him. It was on the outskirts of town, cozy and small but filled to the brim. The beer was good. The whores were pretty. Amidst it all, he almost didn’t see you.

You were perched on a barstool a few seats from him. All alone with a twinkling in your eyes—but it wasn’t inviting enough for him to walk closer, even if you’d spoken to him first.

He raised a brow, leaning on the counter. “Really?”

“Mhm. The cops don’t like you guys stealing their women.”

“Well, I ain’t stealin’ anythin’.”

“Yet.”

The side of your face lifted up into more of a smirk than a smile, nails tapping against the cocktail in front of you. He wondered if he could approach—he was yet to get drunk and your head was cocked to the side. Was it a mocking gesture? Encouraging? He couldn’t tell.

He decided to take his chances. Two steps and he took the seat to your right, shoulder almost against yours. In this lighting he could see the shade of your eyes, the shape of your nose and lips.

“You here alone?” he inquired. “This bar don’t look like the ideal place for a pretty girl to be all alone after dark.”

“It’s a good thing I’m not alone anymore, then.”

And you had looked at him so amiably—eyes blinking through lashes, lips spread in a smile. Like you wanted him to take care of you. His eyes trailed down your collarbones to the generous cleavage of your shirt, then to your legs, crossed and bare underneath the poor lighting. His tongue flicked over his lower lip. No, he wasn’t drunk, but it felt like he was.

“Yeah. A very good thing.”

He found out that night that you were a very cruel woman.

He had dragged you through the whole bar, warm hand wrapped around your smaller one. Once you found a corner to hide in, he pressed you neatly against the wall. His hands sat above your head, the gesture equal parts intimidating as it was arousing.

You had to look up at him when he lowered his face to breathe hotly against your lips. When you placed your hands on his shoulders, he kissed you. His teeth clashed into yours, but you didn’t mind. He was messy, harsh, clumsy but not exactly inexperienced—smelled of whiskey and Tom Ford cologne. His stubble tickled your upper lip and cheeks. Your fingers dug into his muscles when he leaned half his weight on you, pulling at your lower lip, breathing heavily onto your mouth.

There were vague sounds of people, but nobody could see the way your hand slid against his upper hip, just grazing the bare skin peeking out from underneath his shirt. A small sigh escaped you as his tongue found its way into your mouth.

He thought his jeans couldn’t get any tighter.

“Lovie,” he rasped. “Unless you want to get fucked in this sad excuse of a bar, I suggest you keep those pretty little hands to yourself.”

But you didn’t let him fuck you in that bar. Or anywhere else, for that matter.

“It’s not that easy with me,” you told him, lips swollen from kissing.

He thought he might just explode. His lips parted, he practically begged you to reconsider, but you only shook your head with a smile.

You were a cruel, cruel woman.

Now is when he understands where you’ve gotten it from.

“This is my daughter. She’ll be working alongside us from now on.”

He hardly listens as Price introduces the newest addition to their team.

When it was announced they needed a new secretary, the idea that the Captain’s daughter would take on the job didn’t go through anyone’s heads.

And it certainly didn’t occur to Simon that the girl he’d taken a liking to would become his new colleague.

Your father points to your figure, like everyone in the room isn’t already staring you down. You’re wearing a skirt, this time a silky black one, and a blouse that looks expensive as hell. And you’re more intimidating, less off guard than at the bar. The lack of alcohol makes you far more serious, but no less pretty.

He tries to avoid your gaze, but you’re scanning the room and he has nowhere to hide. Finally your eyes land on him and you raise a brow, but there’s no other indication that you’ve actually recognized him. Your eyes leave him just as quickly as they came, and he wonders indignantly how you can look so calm. Surely, this is an inconvenience to you, too.

“Okay, get your asses back to work!”

He’s pulled out of his thoughts by Price’s voice and forced to retreat like a fallen soldier to his desk across from Johnny’s, a pained expression on his face.

God, he’s so screwed.

—

“You better stop staring at the accountant like that, Riley, or Price’s gonna think you want to fuck his daughter.”

Simon throws a couple files in the face of his partner as a response to the absurd comment. He’s not staring—merely observing. Big difference. He has yet to figure out if you recognize him and, an even more pressing matter, if you plan to ignore him for the rest of both your lives. You’ve been acting as an assistant slash accountant at base for a few days and not spared him one glance.

Not that he cares. It’s just strange, is all.

“I ain’t starin’,” he counters, glaring at Johnny. “And mind your own goddamn business, MacTavish.”

“Whatever you say, man.”

When he looks back at your desk, he catches you already looking at him. Your head snaps down so quickly he’s worried for your neck. A faint smile tugs at his lips.

That’s one look, at least. Better than nothing.

You stand up a moment after that, walking to your father’s office. This time you don’t look at him. He strains his ears and hears a muffled version of your voice, though he can’t make out the words. Then, after a minute or so, you walk out with a sour look on your face with Price in tow.

“Lieutenant Riley, c’mere for a moment.”

Fuck. He’s screwed. Have you ratted him out?

He tightens his jaw and lifts himself off his chair so he can approach the two of you. He tries to read your expression, but you’re looking at your father, rage swimming in your eyes.

“Riley, I want you to accompany my daughter to the mall.”

“I don’t need a fucking babysitter, dad,” you hiss at the man in front of you, crossing your arms over your chest.

Simon’s still trying to wrap his head around not being torn apart by your father for hooking up with you at a bar when he furrows his brows, sputtering, “Babysitter?”

“It’s not safe for her to walk outside alone with all the stuff going on now. I want someone experienced to watch over her,” Price says, raising a hand to stop another angry comment from leaving your mouth. “If it’s too much trouble, Riley, I can get someone else to do it.”

You look to Simon in despair, doe eyes pleading him to take pity on you.

“Nah, it’s fine,” he shrugs his shoulders, holding back a smile at your scandalized expression. “Don’t have much to do, anyway.”

You look just about three seconds away from stopping your foot like a petulant child. “But—”

“No buts. And don’t give Lieutenant Riley a hard time, ‘kay, sweetie?”

Your dad attempts patting your head, but you flinch away, scowling. He shakes his head in exasperation, clearly used to these kinds of antics, before shuffling away to the sound of your incredulous scoffs.

You stand in disbelief for another minute before letting out a huff and side-eyeing Simon’s unmoving silhouette. Then, you turn to grab your coat and bag, storming out the door. Simon can do nothing but follow, raising a hand in goodbye to Johnny, who’s staring at him with a mix of poorly hidden interest and even more poorly hidden envy. Getting out of the office to babysit the Captain’s daughter is something just about all of them would sell a kidney for right now.

“See ya later,” he says to his partner. “Have fun gettin’ the paperwork sorted.”

“Fuck you, Riley!”

He snickers to himself as he closes the door behind him. Once outside, he’s met with your charming scowl and the tapping of your heel-clad foot against the pavement.

“Open the car,” you demand. “I don’t have all day.”

“No? And what’s the schedule? Running your daddy’s credit card empty?”

Your lips pull into an agitated frown, fingers digging into your elbow. “Don’t think that’s any of your fucking business, Lieutenant Riley.”

He unlocks the car and you sigh in relief. But it doesn’t last long, disrupted by the soft clicking of his tongue when you try to slip in the backseat. He gestures towards the passenger seat, watching the way your scowl deepens as you begrudgingly acquiesce.

“I’d watch my goddamn mouth if I were you, sweetheart,” Simon says when he’s seated next to you in the car. “You should be thanking me for lettin’ you go on your little shopping spree ‘stead of tellin’ your dad about how you hook up with soldiers in your free time.”

“Why are you saying that like it’s only my fault? It takes two to tango, Riley.”

“Ah!” He lifts his eyebrows tauntingly. “So you do remember.”

You can’t hold back the scoff that rips through your throat. “That’s what this is? You’re butthurt ’cause I didn’t start kicking my feet when you walked into the office?” He feels his jaw tighten as he turns on the engine. You huff out a laugh. “You could have just asked. Guess you soldiers don’t know how to do that.”

He doesn’t reply, muscles taut as he places a hand on the back of your seat to reverse. You try not to stare, but it’s damn near impossible with his hands directly in your face. The veins popping out on his forearms make you avert your gaze hastily, but not before your panties are flooded with a wave of arousal. Great. This is exactly why you usually don’t hook up with random guys in shabby bars.

“Look, you really don’t have to do this,” you tell him as he starts driving. He spares you a short glance before returning his eyes to the road ahead. “Just drop me off at the mall and go get a drink or something. Dad won’t know.”

Again, he replies with silence.

You huff, leaning back in your seat. “Fine. I’m really fucking glad I didn’t fuck you.”

This catches his attention.

He extends a warning finger and shakes it in your face. “Hey—”

You hear it before you see it. Gunshots—and they’re closer than either you or Simon would have liked. In the distance you can see people scattering; from behind them, a couple men with guns.

“Oh my god,” you breathe. “Oh my—”

“Get down.”

You don’t immediately register Simon’s words. What you do register is his hand grabbing hold of your shoulder and pushing you down. Obligingly, you unclasp the seatbelt and sink onto the floor, then hold on for dear life as he makes a ragged turn.

You have a full view of his focused face, of his fingers wrapping around the steering wheel and whitening at the ends, of his bulging biceps peeking out of the t-shirt. He takes one hand off the wheel and pulls his gun out of the waistband of his jeans.

“Don’t fucking shoot anyone,” you whisper-shout. Then, meeting his ice-cold gaze, you add, “Please.”

His lips lift into a half-smile. “Look so pretty askin’ nicely for things you want. It ain’t that hard, is it?”

You glare in his direction, but you’ve already lost his attention. He’s maneuvering the car to park half-decently on the other side of the road, gaining distance from the scene. No more gunshots follow, so you dare prop yourself up into a more decent sitting position and peek outside. Some guys are waving guns at each other—somehow, it calms you because it means their weapons were never directed at you. Soon enough, police sirens echo through the air. Simon visibly relaxes, rubbing between his eyes with a sigh of relief.

“You okay?” he asks you, leaning over the center console to hold you by the shoulders. His gun presses against your tricep as he inspects you. “No bruises?”

“I’m fine.” You hold onto him for support as you scramble back into the seat. Too hazed to think about putting the seatbelt on, you let Simon lean over to do it for you. The scent of his cologne fills your nose as his arm grazes your heaving chest. To hide your hitching breath, you look out of your side window. “You won’t tell my dad about this, right?”

“I won’t,” Simon confirms, back in his own seat. “But he might.”

You follow the motion of his head towards a cop standing only a few feet away. He’s talking into his walkie-talkie, but instead of gathering around the troublemakers like the rest of his team, he’s looking straight into Simon’s car. More accurately, straight at you.

“Fuck. I’m so dead.”

And Simon has to let out a laugh, because he’s so fucking dead too.

—

As expected, once your father finds out about the gunshots, he throws a full-blown tantrum—and that despite Simon’s avid assurances that you were never in danger and that he had everything under control.

You’re back to square one of arguing for your autonomy.

No, actually, as it turns out, you’ve regressed to square minus three, because your dad decides to deprive you of the rest of your freedom. He announces this to you in his office, completely calm despite the color draining from your face as you widen your eyes at him.

“You’re assigning me a bodyguard? Are you insane?”

“Not a bodyguard. Just someone to protect you when I’m not there.”

“That’s literally the book definition of a bodyguard, dad.” You cross your arms over your chest. “I can’t believe this!”

But there isn’t really that much more you can do. Your father signs your two-week leave of absence himself, and hands it to you despite the deadly glare you send him. Then, to make matters worse, he designates none other than Simon Riley as your babysitter for the next two weeks. You must have broken a mirror on your way to work this morning because there’s just no way you’re this unlucky. Perhaps now would be a good moment to stick your head in the sand and choke.

You stand outside base a mere hour later, two bags in hand and a frown you don’t bother covering up. Once Simon emerges you make sure to showcase your dissatisfaction by sending him the ugliest look you can muster.

“Whatcha waitin’ for? Get in.”

The black shirt stretches around his back as he takes the bags from you and throws them into the backseat of his Ford F-150. He runs a hand through the blond strands of his hair, eyes casting an unappreciative look your way. You raise your brows stubbornly and he caves, a grunt of annoyance in your ear as he opens the car door. His hand rests on the small of your back as he pushes you, a little too roughly, inside to sit on the leather seat.

Simon walks around the car and sits in the driver’s seat. “Buckle your seatbelt,” he says, turning the key in the ignition. The car starts with a roar and rolls slowly along the road. Simon sits with one hand on the wheel, the other resting on the compartment between you.

After five minutes in silence, you sit up straight and look out the window, then turn to Simon with furrowed brows.

“What are you doing?” you ask accusingly. “This isn’t the way to my apartment.”

“That’s ‘cause we ain’t going to your apartment. I’m takin’ you to mine.”

You scoff. “Excuse me? Does dad know about this?”

“He authorized it, sweetheart.”

He makes a right turn, then a left, and you feel dizzy, so you sit back in your seat and close your eyes. Not only do you allegedly need a guard dog—you’re also staying at his apartment? Not to mention the so-called bodyguard also happens to be a freakishly handsome thirty-something lieutenant who you had less than pure dreams about after hooking up with him at that bar. You had spent hours on end with your hands between your thighs that night, regretful you hadn’t invited the man over—certain you wouldn’t see him again.

Needless to say, you’ve seen plenty of him, and you’re about to see more.

“This is unfair,” you mumble under your breath.

Simon only clicks his tongue. “Quit your whinin’.”

Once the car is parked, he gets your bags and carries them inside. You follow him with tentative steps, carefully closing the door behind you. His apartment is a humble abode, but not too shabby. The kitchen is cluttered with dishes, but in all its glory the house is quite tidy. Even his bedroom, which you catch a glimpse of through the door he left ajar, seems fairly clean.

You turn towards him, sporting the shadow of a smile. “The military isn’t that eager to churn out millions to provide nice apartments, huh?”

Simon leaves the question unanswered, but his lips spread in a smile that reveals pearly whites. “You take the bedroom. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“For two weeks?” you raise your brows. “Fine by me.”

“Two weeks minimum. Wouldn’t be so optimistic when it’s your daddy we’re talkin’ about.”

“You think he’s gonna make me stay here longer?”

He sits on the couch, legs spread wide and arms resting on the back pillows. “That ain’t none of my business, sweetheart.”

You sigh, running your hands over your face in exasperation, then plop down on the couch as far from Simon as humanly possible when he’s taking up half the space. You badly want to pull all his hair out his head, but you did this to yourself. You really did. You’d like to think if you knew the man you approached at the bar was Simon Riley from the fucking military you wouldn’t have acted so recklessly, but willpower was never your strong suit. Especially not after a tequila or two.

Leaning forward, you thumb off the lid of Simon’s whiskey carafe and pour some into the second glass that lies beside it. You tilt it almost halfway, for a moment worried it might topple over, but Simon’s fingers wrap around your wrist to set it back.

“That’s a lot of whiskey for four in the afternoon,” he mumbles, pointing with his chin at the overfilled glass that threatens to spill onto the wooden coffee table.

“It’s a lot fucking stress for four in the afternoon, too.” You pick the glass up carelessly, taking a solid sip. “I can already feel a headache coming on.”

Simon hums a response you can’t quite make out. When his glass clinks against yours, you raise your eyes in surprise, but he averts his attention back to the TV and sips his whiskey in silence before you can get in a word.

You drink. And drink and drink and drink. It’s beginning to vex you, how his eyes are fixed on the screen without a momentary fail or glance in your direction. It’s like you’re not even there. The whiskey is bitter and almost makes you gag—the taste is horrible for someone like you, who has a sweet tooth, and leaves a sour taste in your mouth. By the third glass, you’ve ventured far into the territory of inebriation.

“How come my dad likes you so much?” you ask suddenly into the air. You angle your whole body towards Simon. “You’re aggravating and irresponsible. There’s really nothing to appreciate.”

“I’m aggravating?” He raises a brow without turning his head.

You huff out a laugh. “Yeah.”

“And where’d ya get irresponsible from?”

“You did almost get me killed.”

“Nonsense,” he grumbles. “That wasn’t any of my fault.”

“Yeah, sure.” You lose the fight against a creeping smile. Tilting your head to the side, you inspect him, giggling to yourself. “Hey, you look a little handsome in this light. Especially if I squint my eyes like this.”

“Real funny, aren’t ya?” he asks, finally looking at you. A muscle in his jaw ticks as he steals your glass from under your nose. “I think that’s enough alcohol for you.”

“Noo,” you whine, making grabby hands at your lifeline disappearing into his mouth as he drinks it in one gulp.

He places the empty glass on the sofa’s armrest. “Too late.”

“You’re so cruel.”

“That’s life for ya.”

You slap his shoulder. “Jerk.” He doesn’t even flinch.

Now, normally, this wouldn’t anger you. Cause a small irritation, a scrunch of the nose or a trademark scoff, maybe. An excuse to leave, at best. But there’s three glasses of danger-tasting whiskey pooling in your stomach alongside an irreverent need to cause trouble. You think he might as well have insulted you, with the indifference of his gaze and the soft ripple in his muscles resting behind your head. Not touching, because he isn’t doing it for you. He’s just relaxing.

Well, not for long.

You balance yourself on one knee, swinging a leg over his stomach. His hand jerks in surprise, grasping at your blouse to keep you steady. Reflexes, you fawn, gawking shamelessly at his forearms, fingers, and toned collarbones peeking out from his sluttily unbuttoned shirt. The thought of what’s underneath is unbearable—when did drool gather at the edge of your mouth?

Your core rubs over his stomach as you reach forward, sloppily wrapping your fingers around the glass he’s holding. His hardened fingertips touch yours and you look at him—down at the sight of his lips twitching, pecs pulling at his tight shirt. You’ve gone insane. You drag your slick cunt, poorly hidden by the skirt around your waist, along his abdominal muscles.

He splays his hands on your hips. Stop, his touch says. A warning. You move again, disguising the act as trying to rip the glass from his tight grip. Your skirt hikes up your thighs, exposing them indecently.

Simon grunts gruffly, “What do you think you’re doin’, sweetheart?”

“Taking my glass back,” you mumble. That’s not what you’re doing at all, obviously, but it’s a harmless lie if it means you can shamelessly drive your hips against his under the pretense of reaching behind his back.

Finally, he looks. He looks at your pouty lips, at your dilated pupils, at the expression of sheer desperation tugging at your features. Arousal is pouring from your pussy positioned over his stomach, leaking into the thin panties that separate the stickiness from his shirt. He feels the heat of you through the material.

You see his face contort into an expression of pure agony, mouth slipping open in a sigh as his head lulls back onto the couch frame.

“You want me fuckin’ dead, huh?”

You put on your nicest expression, puckering your lips. “Sorry.”

“No, you’re not sorry,” he huffs. “Sure don’t look like it, at least. You want your daddy to fire a bullet into my head?” You shake your head no. Of course you don’t. He groans in exasperation from underneath you, tonguing his cheek. His hands, big and warm and rough around the edges, run up the expanse of your thighs, pushing your skirt up further towards your hips.

You want so badly for him to touch you.

You have wanted it since that day in the bar—although you had kept the last shreds of your sanity and not fucked him in a bathroom stall—and you want it still, even if he’s annoying and patronizing and a little bit mean. Maybe you like that he’s a little mean. Maybe you’re drunk. Maybe you just need a little taste to realize you’re being stupid and go back to ignoring him.

“My dad told you to help me out if I needed it,” you say, angling your hips just a little better. The soft pressure against your clit drives you insane, your fingers digging into his shoulders. “So just help me.”

“Help you,” he repeats, weighing the words on his tongue, almost mocking in the way his eyes twinkle up at you.

Fingertips slip soundlessly under the fabric of your blouse, up your stomach until he can grope your tits through the bra you’re wearing. You gasp in muffled shock, thighs squeezing his sides in an involuntary reaction. His fingers work to push the bra down and you bite your lip to keep quiet, in case saying anything would make him stop. He pinches your nipples and watches you squirm, completely soaking your panties. Then his patience seems to run out—he grabs your blouse and pulls it over your head, palming at your now exposed tits.

“Shit,” he drawls, squeezing and toying as you fight to keep your legs still at his sides. You take it as a compliment, feeling his bulge grow against the swell of your ass. You want to grind against it, but don’t dare make any mold moves when he’s looking at you like that.

Soon, Simon’s hands slip down to the edge of your skirt. He flicks it up and zeroes in on your panties, stained through the middle. You’re leaking. The fabric clings to your cunt, which is pulsing like a second heartbeat. He runs the pad of one finger over it, slowly and meticulously, with his eyes trained on where you’re joint.

“You sure you want it, sweetheart?”

It’s a softly spoken question, eyes waiting for an answer. It would be almost touching—if it weren’t for his hand slapping your covered clit as though in disapproval of your delayed reaction. You squeak at the burn spreading in your cunt, tainting your underwear even further. When you practically jump in the air, he holds you down by the hips and delivers another sharp slap between your legs, rendering you dizzy with pleasure.

“Asked you a fuckin’ question.”

“Y-yes,” you say. “Yes, I want it.”

“Alright.” He grabs you by the hips and pushes you back until you’re positioned right atop the uncomfortable bulge in his jeans. “But you’re not getting any more than you deserve.”

You want to ask what he means—with how much slick is dripping down your legs, you deserve it all—but you don’t manage to before he’s pulled your skirt and panties down your legs. They drop to the floor as you scramble to take a breath.

Simon’s strong arm wraps around your waist and holds you steady as his hand slides between your legs. He runs two fingers through your folds, feeling the slick coating them. When his pointer catches on your clit, you almost whimper, thighs shaking in an attempt not to close around him. He draws a sharp, whistling breath through his nose, lips pressed together. The highs of his cheeks have turned a delicate shade of pink.

“Fuck,” he mutters, “how long you been this wet for? Fuckin’ nasty girl.”

The moment the words leave his mouth, the room gets a little blurrier. You barely notice the slap he delivers to your tits before two of his thick fingers are plunged deep into your needy cunt. You mewl his name. Loudly.

A sting resonates through your scalp as he pulls you forward by the hair, pushing his lips onto yours. You open your mouth to let him in, whimpering against his tongue. He curls his fingers inside of you, wiggling them in a come-hither motion, finding the gummy spot that squeezes a couple stray tears from your eyes. His fingers tighten in your hair as he tilts your head back, so your noses are touching.

“Shh,” he mumbles against your lips. “The walls here are thin and Johnny’s apartment is right upstairs.”

“Please,” you plead, although it’s unclear what exactly you’re asking for.

Simon shushes you again, the sound a faint whistling above your ear. He pulls his fingers out of your cunt, eyes trained on how you grip onto him, as though trying to stop him from leaving. He sees the disappointment in your eyes as soon as his touch leaves you, and with a smile of satisfaction, he pushes them back in again, rubbing against places your own hands couldn’t dream of reaching.

“That’s it, taking what I give you so well. Just be good and I’ll give you what you want, yeah?”

You nod and nod, head lulling onto the warmth of his shoulder. The feeling of his thumb pressing on your clit makes you jerk, and he tuts, adding a third finger to slip into your weeping hole. His hand guides your hips onto the fingers he keeps plunging up into you.

For a while, the only sound reaching your ears are your own moans—not so quiet, unfortunately—and his small grunts in your ear. That’s why it almost goes unnoticed when he throws another command at you.

“Tell me you’re sorry.” And you don’t hear him the first time, so he pinches your clit so nicely you almost come on the spot. It leaves you with teary eyes trying hard to focus on the contours of his face, as he repeats, “Tell me you’re sorry for bein’ such a fuckin’ brat just ‘cause your pussy needed stuffin’.”

He flicks his thumb back and forth over your slick nub. Your legs struggle to hold you upright, but you make the effort to ride his fingers despite the burn it ignites.

“Simon—” you pant, so close to the edge. “Fuck, I’m so— sorry! So sorry!”

“For what?” he raises a brow, ceasing all movement. He lets you do all the work, watching you shamelessly bounce up and down his perfectly angled fingers.

“For— for—,” you inhale too much air, pulling at the nape of his neck. All he does is slap the side of your thigh urgingly. “For being a brat! I didn’t mean to, I promise!”

He chuckles tauntingly, “You promise?” But he’s taken pity on you. His thumb rubs messy circles along your clit and his hand on your hip resumes its assistance. With his help, you sink further down on his fingers with each ragged roll of your hips.

Your orgasm hits you suddenly and forcibly. His thumb on your clit, your cunt stretched open by three fingers, his lips behind your ear, suckling at the skin to hear you moan his name. It’s Simon, Simon, Simon! until you’re coming all over his hand. Your cunt clenches and soaks him with arousal as you sob into his ear.

He holds the back of your neck to keep you close until you’re done shaking, until your vision clears enough to make out his face.

Who do you sue for making him so irresistible?

“That’s my girl.” His hot breath lands on your forehead before his lips do. The kiss is tender against your burning skin—dazed, you smile at him as he strokes your cheek. “Now go to sleep before your daddy decides to pay us a surprise visit, hm?”

You’re feeling so weak you can’t even protest when he helps you off his couch with a hand securely placed below your shoulders. In the bedroom, you slip beneath the covers, yawning. Simon waits for you to get comfortable before putting on a grin you can’t describe as anything but cheeky. Your voice fails you when he kisses the exposed skin of your shoulder and tells you goodnight.

“Simon,” you mumble, blinking slowly up at his face. “I hate you so much.”

“Mhm. Get some sleep, sweetheart.”

—

He’s got to be kidding.

He’s got to have some ulterior motive, a part of him that clearly wants to sabotage you, because there’s no other way you can rationalize the dangerous, sizzling warmth bubbling up in your lower stomach at the sight of Simon Riley fresh out of bed, with his hair messy atop his head and sweatpants low, low on his hips.

It’s nine in the morning and a Saturday—a miracle you’re awake already, but you craved the solitude you knew was only attainable at the ass crack of dawn, when your insufferable militerian guard dog was still snoring away on the sofa. The peacefulness that came with it had lasted all up until now—until Simon’s figure came into view, leaning against the doorway and almost successfully giving you a heart attack.

Now he waltzes into the kitchen like it’s his own—which, admittedly, it is, but that’s besides the point!—with a groan on his lips, eyes squinting to get used to the light.

“Whatcha doin’?”

“Making breakfast.”

Actually, you’re repeating a new mantra in your head: yesterday was impulsive, yesterday was stupid, yesterday was a one time thing…

“Hm.” He comes closer, so you tenaciously train your eyes on the toast you’re smearing with butter. You feel his soaring breath hit the back of your neck. He lets out a sound walking the fine line between a huff of annoyance and appreciation, nudging your side with a finger. “Your daddy lets you walk around the house like this when he’s got friends over?”

You fight the urge to lift your gaze as your face grows hot at the question, at the low rumble of his voice in your ear, at the insinuation behind the words. Your teeth nibble at the inside of your cheek.

“Like what? In my pajamas?”

The side of his mouth lifts. “Hardly pajamas, though, is it?” He palms at the flimsy material of your silk cami, fingers only centimeters away from your bare waist. The skin erupts in goosebumps; not only there, but everywhere. You really hope he can’t see your nipples straining against the fabric in front.

“What do you want, Riley?” you ask.

His eyes meet yours, ice cold against your wavering gaze. He’s taunting you, or maybe just trying to scare you. This man loves eye contact, you’ve come to notice. The muscles on his tricep expand as he leans on the counter, his other hand scratching the back of his head. It makes his shirt slide up just a little. You suck in a breath at the expanse of skin exposed—that happy trail surely lives up to its name swirling in your stomach—then shove a finger into your mouth in a feeble attempt to make it look like it was a reaction to your hand slipping while holding the knife.

With his tongue against his cheek, Simon finally pries his eyes off of your face and lets them waft over the rest of your body.

“Nothin’.” The fucker has the audacity to shrug his shoulders, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. “This is my apartment, remember? Thought I was allowed to walk wherever I want.”

A hiss of disbelief. “You are, but—”

“And call me Simon.” Cheeky grin as he pushes himself off the counter. “I’m gonna go ring up your daddy, tell him you’re doin’ great. If you don’t mind, that is.”

But he doesn’t even wait for your nod, stealing a buttered toast and sauntering out of the kitchen. You stare after his form, muttering strings of curses under your breath.

“Fucking military asshole.”

For another minute, you stand with your fingers turning white from how hard you grip the counter. You swear there’s a drop of sweat rolling down your neck by the time you’ve recaught your breath. Jesus. Nowhere is safe in this fucking apartment. Just like that, all sense of tranquility leaves your body, replaced by a not-so-timid migraine.

You’re going to die of painkiller overdose before the two weeks are up, that’s for certain.

You swallow your breakfast in three pieces.

Once it’s down, you lock yourself in your—Simon’s—room and busy yourself with a book you found on the bedside table. It’s about wiretaps and whatnot. You flick through the pages rapidly, only to sink back into the soft cushions with a sigh. The flesh between your thighs burns with the memory of yesterday—you wish you could rip the hippocampus right out of your brain.

Simon stays away until midday. Somehow, you manage to force your body into slumber that lasts a couple uninterrupted hours, but when he knocks, you jolt awake at once. You force yourself onto your feet and open the door just enough to see him. He’s dressed—jeans fit snugly around his hips and his shirt is partly covered by the jacket on his shoulders.

“Get dressed,” is all he says.

“Where are we going?”

“I’ll tell you later.”

You scoff as he vanishes from view. “‘Course you will.”

He’s waiting by the car by the time you finally scramble outside. The air is surprisingly warm, the blinding sun rendering you thankful that you remembered to bring your sunglasses. You slide them down to rest on your nose as you approach.

“Where are we going?” you ask again, but Simon only shakes his head with a self-important smile. You climb into the passenger seat in defeat.

It turns out he has to run some top-secret, highly classified errands which you are eligible to come along on, but not to know anything about. He forces you to sit by his side like some doll as he talks in hushed tones with bankers, lawyers and God knows what else. He looks quite impressive, you have to admit, with his hair styled and fingers tapping against the barrel of his gun when someone doesn’t quite say what he wants them to.

A couple of times you find the courage to tap his shoulder, pleading for him to take you somewhere fun, but he only shakes his head. You think you might see the outline of a smile along his lips.

He drives around town and you follow like a lost, annoyed puppy. One hand on the steering wheel, the other holding a cigarette which he occasionally places between his lips. His eyes flick towards you every other minute. It makes you nervous. Your heart makes strange somersaults when his arm moves to switch the gear. And even though he’s silent, he’s somehow more attentive than before. He asks if you want the AC on. He throws you a pack of tissues when you sneeze. He even buys you a coffee, which you happily sip on during another one of his dull meetings.

“When are we going home?” you find yourself asking for the seventh time in a row. It’s way past his working hours for certain.

“Soon,” he emphasizes, glancing at your weary expression. Then, with nothing short of a smile, “A little patience, sweetheart.”

You glare as the accountant resumes his recollection of whatever event Simon inquired about. You stopped listening a long time ago. Simon spares you a pitiful look as you sink into your seat, sighing theatrically.

After a minute, he offhandedly says, “Let’s go.”

You stare at him. “Now?”

Huffing, he just grabs you by the arm softly. You get the memo, standing up as the accountant grumbles out something about wasting his time.

Once you and Simon leave the building, you’re met with a dark sky and the realization it’s basically nighttime. And across the street, a shabby locale with neon signs in front.

A club.

No line, but you can see people dancing through the window.

“Come,” you say in the vague direction of Simon fishing out his car keys.

Simon lifts his head as you disappear into the crowd, walking across the street. He calls out your name, but you have already ventured into the premises. He has no choice but to follow, briefly flashing his ID in the security guard’s sweaty face. Again, he calls your name, but surrounded by loud, tacky music and dozens of inebriated bodies, he can barely hear it himself.

He rounds a corner, then another one. Passes the bar, ignoring a couple girls calling out to him, and finally sees you on the dancefloor. A cup of red liquid is already in your hand.

When he finally manages to squeeze past the crowd and grasp your shoulder, you turn around with wide eyes.

“What do you think you’re doin’, sweetheart?”

You flush. “Come on, I just want to dance.” Then, with the poutiest smile you can muster, and because you know he likes it, you add, “Please?”

He sighs, rubbing his eyes. This is what he gets for wanting to fuck his superior’s brat of a daughter. He stares you down, as though in deep thought. There’s a hopeful twinkle in your eyes—it’s admittedly hard to resist when you’re all up in his face, looking gorgeous. Even in the dimly lit room and with not even a drop of alcohol in his system, he wants you.

He tongues his cheek, hands on his hips. Defeat flashes across his face. “Your daddy’ll kill me for this.”

“I won’t tell him anything,” you promise.

Simon can’t deny you anything when you flash him the sweetest smile. He just nods half-heartedly as you down the rest of your drink and drag him deeper into the dancefloor. Your hand fits neatly in his. You throw your arms around his shoulders and smile—not a drunken smile, you’re far from that—but a giddy one which he almost doesn’t have time to reciprocate before you’re dancing with him. Correction—you’re actually dancing more against him than with him, your hips swaying under his tentative fingertips.

He shouldn’t hold you. He shouldn’t—but when a guy passing by deliberately presses into your backside, his arms move of their own accord.

You’re startled as he pulls you into his chest.

“Simon—” you start, but he shakes his head sternly.

The man passing by doesn’t escape so easily—he’s pulled towards Simon by the collar the moment your bodyguard has established you’re sober enough to stand on your own two feet. You’re not even inebriated, especially not with the scene unfolding in front of you, but he commands you to stay close to him anyway and you happily oblige, somewhat hiding and peeking out from above his shoulder.

The man—through gritted teeth and the embarrassment which comes from the situation imposed by Simon upon him—spits, “Hey, what the fuck, man?”

Simon pushes him away and he tumbles all the way into some other people, who in turn let out annoyed whispers and move away.

“I think it’s time for you to go home, buddy.” It’s almost a growl, the sound that rumbles through his throat. Goosebumps appear on the skin uncovered by your clothes. “Unless you wanna cause me some more fuckin’ trouble and get your teeth smashed in.”

For a split second, the man hesitates. He clenches his jaw and breathes heavily, staring at Simon. Then he makes a mistake—his eyes look in your direction, then hastily back again, but it’s too late. Simon noticed. Of course he noticed.

Simon makes the effort to push you further behind his back so you have no view of his fist colliding with the man’s face. But you hear it, the crack of bone and startled yelp. And then you feel it—his warm hands on you, the realization he just hit someone over looking at you a second too long, and the cold air on your skin as he drags you outside.

His gruff breath tickles your ear as he pushes you into the passenger seat of his car, then slides in next to you. You look at him incredulously, looking around as though to scout for cops or possible witnesses to… whatever just happened.

“See!”—with your hands extended and waving at him—“this is what I mean by irresponsible!”

He glares. “The guy had it coming.”

“Right. For trying to pass by in a crowded space—got it.”

“For touching what isn’t his.” He draws a breath, ignoring your widened eyes. His fingers tap against the wheel. “This is my job, remember? Takin’ care of ya. So put that fuckin’ seatbelt on, please.”

Since he asks so nicely, you acquiesce. Not because his glare makes your blood vessels turn into icicles.

He starts the engine. The drive home is silent—almost a little awkward, with your head too clear and fingers too fidgety. He’s angry. The bulging veins in his neck tell you as much. When he parks, he does it carefully, but the tautness in his jaw doesn’t budge.

He huffs a breath as you struggle to unclasp your seatbelt. “Why’d you go into that club, anyway? Always fuckin’ causin’ me trouble.”

“I wasn’t causing trouble!” you counter. “It’s you that just punched him. I don’t think my dad is going to like—”

“Suddenly you care what your daddy likes?”

“Suddenly? I’ve always—”

He leans to unclasp the seatbelt, suddenly all up in your face. “You’re always fuckin’ talkin’.” He’s being hypocritical, but you let it slide to prevent your voice from wavering as he pats your thigh. “Just quiet down, yeah?”

His hand stays on your thigh for a little too long. Your lips part, looking from the warmth of his splayed fingers to his focused expression; not on you, unfortunately, but he’s looking at something on the headboard. A thin layer of sweat pools at his temple, probably from the club. You watch it trickle silently into the collar of his too-tight shirt.

You’re not exactly thinking clearly as you plunge forward to kiss him feverishly. In fact, you might have gone rabid.

The hands that pull him closer by the shoulders cannot be your own, you think. But they are. You feel the curve of his beefy arms beneath your fingertips and it virtually makes you moan into his mouth, lips parting.

He pushes you away, sternly wrapping his fingers around your wrists.

You look at him through your lashes, trying to figure out if the haziness of his eyes indicates annoyance or the mutual desire you want to see. You’ve crossed the line. Fuck, the line is practically wiped away by now! But this is Simon Riley, tall and scary and he bought you your favorite coffee and punched a guy in the face for drunkenly feeling you up. You want him.

Simon clicks his tongue. “Like I said, you’re fuckin’ trouble.”

You want to interject, but he shakes his head so you close your mouth.

“Makin’ my life so fuckin’ hard.” He lets go of your wrists, trailing his hands down to your hips. They dig into the flesh there and pull you effortlessly—spare for the bulging biceps you see in your peripheral vision—right into his lap. Your thighs lie limply against his sides, your cunt positioned above his crotch. Then his hand cups your face between his pointer and thumb, forcing you to look at him. “I just want to follow your daddy’s orders and you’re throwin’ yourself at me like a cock-hungry slut.”

Something jumps between your legs, sending static up the length of your spine. God. You stare at him somewhat baffled.

“You make my life hard too,” you whine. “Like, if my dad wanted to give me a bodyguard, he could’ve at least picked one that didn’t make me wet all the time.”

A lopsided grin pulls at his lips. “If you keep sayin’ shit like that, you can’t even blame me for not keepin’ it in my pants.”

“Never said I want you to keep it in your pants.”

You’ve got him.

Honestly, you’ve had him since that wretched night at the club, and your grip on him has only tightened with every smile, every roll of your eyes, every stupid remark and each of his looks at your exposed legs.

He likes to think he possesses a good amount of self control, despite Johnny’s constant monologues about his irrationality and whatnot, but it seems he might have been wrong. If he had self control, he wouldn’t have said yes to looking out for you and he wouldn’t have fingered you on his couch because you asked him so nicely.

And he really, really wouldn’t be considering sticking his cock into you right now.

He presses his fingers further into your cheeks. “Nothin’ I do is gonna change your mind, huh?”

Popping the P, “Nope!”

And you lunge forward again, pushing your lips into his.

This time, his response is immediate. His strong arms force you against him. The bulge in his jeans catches on your cunt and you smile, grinding your hips down. A grunt of your name, and then he’s lifting you out of the car, locking the doors, shoving his tongue past your welcoming lips. He walks with you in his arms, never ceasing the kiss even as you hear the lock turn in his front door.

As his stubble tickles your face, you break into a fit of giggles. He mumbles something you don’t hear into your mouth. Then unexpectedly, his hands squeeze the flesh of your ass.

“Simon!” you squeak.

Now it’s his turn to chuckle.

Inside the apartment, you stop him from going into the bedroom. “It’s too far away”, you argue, and pull him towards the couch. The side of his face lifts into the semblance of a smirk, and to wipe it off, you kiss him again.

His arms slide under your shirt, grasping at the supple flesh of your tits. You didn’t wear a bra—of course, he already knew. It was impossible to miss your nipples straining against the material of your shirt in some of the colder offices he took you to. He had trouble keeping his fists at his sides whenever one of the accountant assholes dared to take a considerably too long look at you. Thankfully, a raging boner was a little easier to conceal. Now he pulls the useless shirt over your head.

“Sit.”

He says this against your neck, emphasizing with a harsh slap to your exposed tits. You jolt, but obey nevertheless, sinking into the cushions. He kneels on the floor between your legs, pulling down the material of your jeans, discarding it somewhere. You feel naked—only in your panties while he’s fully dressed, the barrel of his gun presumably still in the waistband of his pants.

His eyes wander along with his fingers; you have to choke back a moan as he pinches your nipple, only to force his palm down on it. His name leaves your mouth in a wavering whisper.

Simon smiles, pushing a finger between your hip and the waistband of your panties. “You’re insufferable, y’know?”

“You’re not any better than me,” you shoot back.

He ignores the comment, pulling your panties off. His hands hold you at the hips so he can move freely, tongue darting out to experimentally lick at your cunt. You cry out—hips thrashing uselessly, eyes staring at him in a perverse sort of despair—and he laughs, actually laughs, against the heat of your pussy, with his hot breath on your clit.

“Wonder what your daddy’d say if he saw you like this. All spread out for your bodyguard, whining like a fuckin’ brat.”

Before you can even think to defend yourself, his lips wrap around the nub of your clit and suck, forcing your legs into a violent jolt. They want to wrap themselves around Simon’s head, but he doesn’t let them, relentless in his grip.

He licks around the sensitive spot, never reaching the center of it but rather picking at your nerves taunting, touching you only as much as he pleases. You’re half certain you’ve soaked his face in the slick arousal pooling out of your anticipating hole.

The plushness of your thighs gives in to his fingers as they push your legs towards your head. You let out a cry of his name as the hot, wet muscle of his tongue enters your cunt. He licks up everything you give him and then some, nose nudging your clit so nicely you shiver and writhe under his touch.

A moan reverberates through the room as he moves his face side to side, plunging his tongue deeper into your weeping pussy. “Simon, Simon, God!”

He retracts his tongue and you gasp for air, hips lifting to meet his face as it slides a few centimeters up.

“Quit squirmin’ so fuckin’ much.” His voice, brusque against your puffy clit, makes you damn near jump in his hold. He clicks his tongue, lips dragging slowly over the inside of your thigh. They serve as a distraction, but you don’t realize that nearly as fast as you should. By the time you know he’s planning something wicked, his palm has already landed on your spread-out cunt, forcing a choked sob out of your throat.

“Told ya to stop movin’ sweetheart,” he mumbles, teasing you with a finger tapping on your clit. “Really don’t know how to listen, do you?”

You try to focus on his words, but it’s a hopeless effort. The vague feeling of his tongue playing with your clit is enough to make your hips twitch. He sighs at this, delivering another slap to your helplessly drooling cunt.

“What am I gonna do with you, huh?”

He plunges his tongue back into your hole and it clenches tight, tight around him, your mouth open in a mantra of whimpers. There’s an apology mixed in there, you think, but mostly incoherent babbles about how good it feels to finally have his mouth on you.

His broad shoulders press against your thighs to keep them in place as he replaces his tongue with two curved fingers that stretch you out. Your head falls back onto the couch pillows. He grunts in appreciation as you spread yourself further for him, allowing his mouth to latch onto your clit. The hot muscle swirls around your nub in tandem with his hips that subconsciously rut into the corner of his couch.

Within the next minute, he coaxes an orgasm out of you.

The thick fingers that scissor you open don’t stop even as you shake and cry out his name so loudly that Johnny—assuming he’s home for the night—must have heard it loud and clear through the thin walls.

Your mind is so foggy you barely notice when his mouth and fingers leave you entirely, only coming to your senses when Simon’s arms haul you up to a seating position. He sits across from you, his cock straining against the jeans still around his hips. You move to unzip them, almost drooling at the thought of seeing what’s underneath, but he stops you by gripping your face in one hand.

He tilts your head up so you have to look at him—forehead sweaty and mouth slick with your arousal, an eyebrow raised.

“What do you say after someone makes you come this nice?”

Through hazed eyes, you look at him. You don’t even think about the fact that this is real life and not your nightly imagination as you mumble, “Thank you, daddy.”

The grip he has on your face loosens momentarily, but as the shock in his face gives out, he pulls your face closer to his. “Say that again.” His other hand pinches your clit so suddenly you let out a squeak.

“Thank you, daddy!”

He pulls you by the face into a messy kiss, grinding his clothed bulge against your cunt. There’s a new throbbing between your legs already, soaking his jeans and begging wordlessly for him to finally give in. But for someone who loses his mind at seeing you in pajama shorts, he is surprisingly patient when it comes to getting his dick wet. Even your ragged humping against his thigh doesn’t make him pull away from the kiss. You’re the one to push him away with a hand placed on his chest.

“What, you gettin’ impatient?”

You furrow your eyebrows at his neutral expression. “I want you to fuck me, come on.”

“Yeah?”

“Simon,” you whine like a stubborn child. “Need it.”

“I ain’t givin’ you anything with that attitude.”

He squeezes your thigh, almost like a warning. You stare at the apparent outline of his muscles now that his shirt is sweaty and clings to his body. The control he has to make you swallow your pride is exceedingly embarrassing, but you swallow the embarrassment, too.

A pout adorns your lips as you tug on the collar of his shirt. “Please.”

“That all you got?”

“Fuck me, please—” the throb grows aching, so you rub your thighs together, “ —daddy.”

That does it.

Simon pulls you against him, hands on your hips. He groans into your neck. The warmth of his hands atop your own engulfs you as you work to unzip his jeans and push them hurriedly down to his knees along with his briefs.

His cock is pretty—you can’t justify the heat pooling in your stomach any other way. It’s thick and curved and veiny. Your neurons collectively agree to shut down to give way to the primal desire to pounce on him. Which you do—clawing at his shirt to get it off, off, off, as you not so elegantly whisper into Simon’s ear.

His arms grab your waist and turn you around before you can even admire him properly.

He maneuvers you with ease to place your chest against the armrest of the couch. Your nipples brush against the leather, pulling a string of mewls from your lips.

“Shh,” he says, but it’s not as strict as he intended. More of a breath in your direction, lungs retracting as he plays with the flesh of your ass. His cock is achingly hard against your inner thighs, coating them in precum. “Spread those pretty legs f’me, c’mon.”

You do as directed to your best ability. He hums in appreciation as you expose your dripping cunt to his hungry eyes. The slick which earlier was safely tucked between your thighs now starts slowly to soak his couch, but he pays it no mind, spreading you further with his warm hands.

“Fuckin’ gorgeous.”

You preen at the praise.

He rubs his hard cock between your folds, making sure it’s coated in your arousal before he pushes the tip inside. You envelop him tightly and arch into the stretch; he pushes slowly, dragging along your wet walls until you’re breathing heavily. Once he’s fully inside, the tip of his cock nudges the end of your hole.

“So big,” you mumble. “Almost doesn’t fit.”

Simon chuckles. “I know, baby. But you’re takin’ it so well.”

He pulls his cock out, then pushes back inside to the hilt.

You whimper loudly—so loudly he grabs the front of your face and shoves two fingers past your parted lips to shut you up. You suck them into your mouth as he plunges his cock deep into your pussy. It feels so nice you mewl and cry against his hand, drooling down the length of his fingers.

“That’s it. Such a fuckin’ sight, shit.” He grunts as his pelvis slams into your ass. You push your hips back to meet his thrusts and he lets out a choked, more high pitched sort of noise. “God, baby.”

He retracts his fingers, using them to hoist you up so your back meets his chest. He holds you close as he pushes impossibly deeper into your hole, which wraps around him so nicely, sucking him in despite the stretch. You moan his name as he drapes his arm around your chest, holding your face in his hand.

He’s so big behind you—bulging muscles all around, fat cock stuffed in your tiny pussy. You’re full of him.

With a swift snap of his hips, he reaches a gummy spot that makes your muscles tighten in his hold.

Your eyebrows furrow in a choked sob, “God, Simon—”

“Wrong word, sweetheart.” His fingers press on your cheeks as he tilts your head back until it meets his chest. “Hmm? Come on, you know what to say. Get it right and I’ll make sure your real daddy never knows his little girl begs for cock like a slut.”

Another wave of your arousal gushes around Simon’s cock.

A little teary-eyed, you sputter, “Da— da—”

“What was that?”

He kneads the skin of your ass before slapping it. The whimpers you let out momentarily drown out the squelching of your cunt.

“Daddy, oh, fuck! Feels soo good!”

This seems to be enough of a satisfying response to him, because he lets go of your face.

Without letting up the relentless rhythm, he curls his bicep around your neck, pulling you against his chest. You gasp at the marginal but sudden restriction of airflow, and at the painful throb in your neglected clit, aching to be touched by him.

“Yeah? Feel nice to finally have this greedy pussy filled?”

He presses his bicep harder into your soft throat, smiling at your sputtering of words and confirmations that yes, fuck, daddy— I love it! The drag of his heavy cock against your walls makes you clench and unclench around his length.

From this angle, Simon has a perfect view of both your bouncing tits—which he gropes with his unoccupied hand—and your stretched out pussy as it takes him again and again and again. You grip him so well, so tight, he can feel his balls tightening with every thrust. The small whimpers you let out against his arm don’t help his case, either.

“Fuck,” he groans, pulling your head further back so your glazed, wide eyes look up at him. “Wanna come, sweetheart? Wanna show daddy what a needy slut you are for him?”

You nod vigorously. “Y-yeah.”

He slides a hand between your sticky thighs, thumbing at your clit. You claw at his arm, torn between bucking your hips and staying still so he can reach that gummy spot in your cunt. Finally, you settle on something in between—drool forming at the edge of your mouth as you whimper and whine. You’re fucking yourself back on him, hips pushing back desperately, legs spread to accommodate the hand between them.

He pinches your clit and you’re done for.

“Good girl, takin’ daddy’s cock so nicely,” he grunts into your ear.

“Need to— fuck, I’m gonna come, daddy!”

“I know, sweetheart, I know.” His hips slam against your ass, cock twitching inside you. “Just let go for me, yeah?”

You nod and nod until you’re brought over the edge. His fingers rub softly at your clit as you cry out, his grip on your neck loosening to let you ride out your high. Nothing but moans of his name and a babbling repetition of daddy, daddy, fuck! leaves your mouth. He holds you up almost entirely, the shaking of your legs making it impossible to hold the balance yourself.

Your head lulls tiredly onto his bicep and he holds you there, pressing a kiss to your temple.

He comes less than a minute later, breathing out a guttural groan of your name. His sticky cum fills you to the brim, droplets of it falling onto the leather below.

“That’s a good girl,” he mumbles before pulling out.

Ropes of his cum leak onto the couch, but he appears not to care at all. He only pulls you away from the puddle and onto the other side of the couch.

His arms envelop your sensitive body and you curl into him, pressing a kiss into his naked shoulder. The scent of sweat, his cologne and what you suppose is the scent of purely him fills your nose.

You think it’s a scent you could get used to smelling every day.

“We gotta come up with a way to tell your daddy about this.”

The leather crinkles as you turn your head up to look at Simon in disbelief. His lips spread in a smile—the one he sends you right before he does something stupid.

“You wanna tell him?”

“Yeah.” He leans down to plant a soft kiss on your forehead. “I never agreed to do this just once, sweetheart.”

———

TAGLIST: @jenoslutie @fixonbreakoff @thevoidwriting

special thanks to @mrkis for putting up with me complaining about this fic + @hwajin for hyping me up<3 mwah

#simon ghost riley #simon riley smut #cod smut #call of duty smut #simon riley x reader #cod mw2 x reader #ghost smut

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loganslowdown4 · 2 days

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Today I was thinking about how the dark sides are represented as ‘villains’ because c!Thomas thinks that that side of himself is reprehensible. Like he sees completely in black and white. And because of this, any thought or action that comes from that side is immediately villainized, to the point where they act and even look like cartoon villains.

His point of reference for ‘bad guys’ has always been from his experience with the media he consumes, like cartoons or video games. It’s actually an immature way of looking at himself.

I get the wanting to separate good from bad, and this works for the big moral yes or no questions. But there gets to be a point where we grow up and realize that most instances in our lives have shades of grey answers, which is actually why Janus and Remus are there. We eventually just accept those sides of ourselves as part of us.

And eventually, they become more mellow and we realize they’re just there for self preservation. It’s not selfish to look after yourself if you have to lie about something. We’re not bad because we have intrusive thoughts. Being bothered by them literally shows us what NOT to do. In their way, they are a form of moral compass.

Neither sides are there to make him comfortable, but being comfortable leaves you vulnerable when you need protection. So Janus and Remus aren’t great sides but they aren’t ‘villains’ either, as Thomas sees them. They deserve acceptance just as much as Virgil does, because, like Virgil, they’re working to protect Thomas just as much.

Just some food for thought today! 😁 Also check out the colours in Thomas’ tie whoa 👀🤍🖤

#ts theories #ts analysis #thomas sanders #sanders sides #Remus sanders #Janus sanders #Virgil sanders #ts janus #ts deceit #ts remus #ts virgil #c!thomas #SvS redux #villains #bad guys #dark sides

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gimmeurtmi · 2 hours

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breathe — 2min

pairing: kim seungmin x fem!reader x lee minho

tags: established relationship, polyamory, bdsm, smut!!!🔞

warnings: swearing, throuple, mxm, degradation, pet play, breath play, collars and leashes, anal!!, butt plugs, oral (m receiving), nipple play (f), choking, seungmin and his canonically established pain kink, thigh humping, unprotected sex, sub/dom dynamics, sub!reader, mean dom!seung, soft dom!minho, implied subspace, use of “slut”, “bunny”, “bubs”, “pet”, “dumb”, slight humiliation kink, choking on cum, use of a non-verbal stop light system, reader goes yellow but it’s all good, absolutely sappy in the end, smut with so many feelings, lmk if i missed something!

inspo: 2min in the new teaser pics

notes: again, i got carried away. it appears the dirtier i try to make something the sappier it turns out. i think i started this two days ago and my mood drastically changed from horny as fuck to in love as fuck. please let me know how this turned out 🥹

{ wc: 5610 }

“And you’re sure you want to do this?” Minho asks, softly, as he turns the collar around in his hands.

It’s pink, a little bell hanging off the metal heart in the middle, three different slots available to tighten for size.

Seungmin bought it last week, after five whole days of discussions.

You asked your boyfriends for a collar, and Seungmin instantly agreed. Although it took a little more time to persuade Minho. He wanted it, you could tell by the crimson shade of his ears as soon as you initially brought the idea up—but Minho was the kind of boyfriend that never wanted to hurt you. Even though he knew you enjoyed it, he always wanted to protect you. Seungmin understood both of you equally, which was what helped the three of you work as flawlessly as you did. Seungmin shared Minho’s concerns, heard them and nodded his head silently, while also teasing you for how excited the idea made you.

In the end, Seungmin showed you three collars and when your eyes lingered a few seconds longer on the pink one he added it to his cart that night.

Yesterday the package arrived.

“Minho, I’m sure,” you promise him, “it’s gonna be so fucking hot.”

Minho smirked at you, shy and excited, his eyes locked on yours.

“You know Kim Seungmin loves you on your knees,” he says lowly, “I do, too.”

“You do?” You smile.

“Mhm hmm,” Minho nods sharply, “look so pretty with your beautiful eyes looking up at us.”

“Min, please,” you say, so soon, “put it on me?”

“Go get dressed,” Minho orders, “Seungminnie is gonna get here in ten minutes and then we can do everything you asked for.”

You smile big, excitedly clapping your hands together. Minho chuckles at you, eyes sparkling before he plants a small kiss on your lips.

“Go on,” he says, enamoured, before sitting back on the bed—collar still clutched tightly in his hand.

You quickly go to the bathroom, where your outfit is waiting on the counter. You get dressed, your new matching pink lace set fitting your body perfectly. The thong is a little tight, but you don’t think it’s gonna stay on for too long—so you don’t mind it much.

You take a look in the mirror, silently thanking Seungmin for his taste in lingerie; it makes you feel so incredibly sexy. You can’t wait to feel their eyes on you as they see the way the pink fabric compliments your curves.

With excitement, butterflies dancing all around your insides, you take a deep breath before walking back into the bedroom.

Minho’s spread on the bed, hand tucked behind his head as he scrolls on his phone. You can tell he’s looking forward to tonight, his sweats doing a poor job at concealing his already present bulge.

When he hears the bathroom door close shut, he looks up. His mouth falls open, front teeth peeking out as he looks you up and down three times. Then, “holy shit.”

“You like it?”

Minho swallows, eyes growing wide as he nods repeatedly.

“God, bunny,” he says, slightly breathless, “look at you.”

“I think I like it better when you look at me,” you chuckle.

“I’m looking,” he says, licking his lips, “god. Fuck.”

He sits up, his phone long forgotten and with a small flick of his fingers calls you over. You waste no time at all, quickly climbing on the bed to sit by his side.

“So pretty like this,” he runs his hands over your hair, softly brushing it with his fingers. “Pretty bunny.”

His hand leaves your hair after a few moments, running down your bare back before he softly cups your ass.

“So soft,” he hums, tucking his finger under the fabric of your g-string. He runs his finger up and down, tugging it tighter around you.

With his other hand, Minho runs his fingers over your stomach, higher and higher until he cups your tits in his hand. He’s gentle, rubbing his thumb over the soft lace and when your breath hitches he starts circling your nipple through your pink bra.

“Wanna touch you all over,” he mumbles, “but I don’t think it’ll be right to take these off yet. Look how perfect your tits are in this.”

You blush at his words but Minho is too distracted by your chest to comment on it. He pushes the cup down, only enough for your nipple to peak out, and then he rubs his thumb over it in quick motions.

You moan softly, mouth gaped and body already reeling from the touch. Something about Minho not even undressing you before he starts playing with your body ignites a fire in your stomach.

He leans forward, looking up at you as his lips wrap around your nipple, sparkling eyes locking on yours as he flicks his tongue repeatedly around your sensitive bud.

“Min, that feels really nice,” you sigh, carding your fingers through his soft hair. He smiles up at you, tongue flicking through his open lips before he closes his eyes—eagerly sucking around your nipple.

With a soft pop he moves away, rubbing his hand against your waist before giving the same attention to your other breast, eager to keep hearing your soft moans.

His hands join together behind your back, rubbing up and down freely before he cups your ass. He hums, content, the vibrations against your skin sending butterflies into your core.

He pulls away again, satisfied for the time being, looking up at you.

“I had an idea,” he says, lowly, “there was something else in the box I didn’t show you.”

“What was it?”

Minho reaches underneath the pillow, pulling out a long and white fluffy tail. You feel your face burning up.

“Why didn’t Seungmin say anything?” You ask, excitement buzzing through you at the idea of wearing a tail with the collar.

“This one was my idea,” Minho admits, a shy smile on his face.

“You can put it on me,” you say with a grin.

Then, Minho turns it around, showing you the small butt plug attached to the end of the tail.

You let out a small gasp, your lips forming a perfect circle at the realisation Minho actually bought you a toy like this. Your cheeks are so warm.

“I didn’t expect this from you,” you admit, taking the tail into your hands and inspecting it closer. The plug itself isn’t too big, but since the three of you don’t experiment with anal that often you know you’d feel a stretch either way. You feel your walls clench for a moment at the thought of wearing it.

“I didn’t expect it either,” Minho admits, cupping your ass and rubbing circles on it with his palms. “When Seungminnie showed me the website it popped up and I added it. I don’t know, bunny, the thought of you on your knees with a little tail between your legs made me so hard.”

“I want you to put it in, Minho,” you say, and your voice sounds foreign in your ears, “please.”

Minho nods.

He slips one of his hands beneath the pink fabric of your thong, his other hand gripping your ass hard. He brings his middle finger to your hole, circling it softly.

You grip his shoulders, breathing laboured as you lock your eyes on his.

“I need to get the lube,” Minho says, pressing the pad of his finger flat against your hole. You know he can slip it right in if he wanted to—but you can’t deny he’s right. His fingers are too dry and the slide won’t be easy at all, so Minho prefers to simply tease the entrance with his finger. It makes you moan either way, the novelty of it all and the sensitive nerves sending pleasure through your body with something as simple as this.

“I’ll go get it?” You offer through a small sigh.

“Delivery is on its way,” Minho says, leaning forward towards your chest and kissing around it.

You’re not sure what he means but you ignore it when he slowly starts pushing the tip of his finger in and out of your hole—in and out, in and out. You don’t think he inserts more than a centimetre inside you, but it still feels so so snug. So weird. So fucking good.

You hear the front door open and close before Seungmin’s voice follows with a small, “I’m home!” and the butterflies in your stomach start soaring.

Minho chuckles lightly, feeling the way your body reacts to Seungmin’s voice. “Excited to see our puppy?”

You nod happily, a broken gasp leaving your lips when Minho slips his finger in deeper. “He’ll be so happy to see you like this.”

The door to the bedroom practically flies open, and Seungmin doesn’t even say hello. He leans over you, a bottle of lube in his hands, and without any prior warning—he spills it directly on your ass.

It’s cold so you hiss loudly, but Seungmin only shushes you in return.

More and more of it trickles down your body, all over Minho’s finger and down to your cunt. All you can do is moan as Minho easily slips his finger all the way in, knuckle deep.

“There you go,” Minho coos, “take it, baby.”

“Feels so nice, Min,” you let your head fall forward, focusing on the pleasure the stretch provides you.

“Let me look at her, hyung,” Seungmin says, his voice covered in an edge you can’t quite place.

You let your eyes flutter open, moans tumbling freely out of your mouth as you look at Seungmin. He was at an important meeting, you aren’t too sure for what, but he was still wearing his smart clothes. They were so different from his every day sweats, and although you loved him in anything he wore, there was something particularly beautiful about Seungmin wearing tight fitting dress pants and a fashionable cardigan.

You wanted him to rip his clothes off.

“I knew you’d like the tail hyung got us,” Seungmin smirks, his eyes drinking in your outfit before settling on your lips, “knew you wanted it in every hole.”

“Seung,” you let out, ears growing warm at his accusation.

“I’m wrong?” You don’t answer, “our dirty little pet doesn’t like how hyung is fucking her ass right now?”

You moan as Minho makes a point of adding a second finger at that exact moment.

“Stretching you so well,” Seungmin mumbles, looking behind your back at Minho’s actions, “your holes were made for this.”

You reach out for Seungmin’s hand, pulling him closer to you, and he laces your fingers together as he sits down beside you.

“You bought the cutest set, Seungminnie,” Minho says, as he watches Seungmin’s fingers run over the lace.

“You chose the cutest tail,” he returns.

“I-I’m ready,” you sigh, “I want it in me.”

“She’s said that so many times already,” Minho reports, “she really wants it.”

“You want your collar, too?” Seungmin asks, sweetly.

“Yes, please,” you try your hardest not to sound too desperate, but the way they both laugh at you makes you think you failed.

Seungmin plants a soft kiss on your cheek before he looks around for the collar, and when he finds it somewhere on the bed he shakes it around. The little bell rattles around with a small repetitive dingdingding. Seungmin smirks.

“Oh, this is gonna be so fucking hot,” he chuckles, eyes lighting up.

Minho slips his fingers out slowly, kissing your shoulder as he tells you he thinks you’re ready now. You nod. You have no idea if he stretched you wide enough, but you don’t care. You just want them to start already.

You watch as Minho grabs the tail from the fluffy side, dowsing the plug side with lube before he looks up at you. The cautious look is back in his eyes, and he hesitates, but once he sees your blown pupils and quick breaths he leans forward.

He circles the plug around your hole a few times, letting you get used to the coolness of the lube (unlike Seungmin) before slowly pushing it inside you. He pulls it out, then back in—in out, in out, before it slips all the way inside you with a loud moan.

“Oh, my god,” you sigh, “feels so tight.”

Seungmin runs a hand up and down your thighs. Minho starts playing with the fluffy ends of the tail. You can hear him giggling.

“It’s okay, bunny?” Minho asks when you fall silent.

You nod, clenching your fists tightly to stop yourself from touching your clit and derailing the whole evening. Your senses are on fire, the tightness of the plug causing your walls to flutter repeatedly. You try to focus on your boyfriends, who are looking at you curiously.

“I have so many things I wanna do to you, bubs,” Seungmin says, “you’re good to let me ruin you?”

“Please, Seungmin,” you groan, “ruin me as much as you want.”

He chuckles. “Let’s get you dressed, yeah?”

He opens up the collar, watching you slowly as he secures it in place. He locks it on the first loop, the loosest option, and kisses you softly.

Minho runs his hands through your hair, delicately pulling it up into a ponytail as he pushes it away from your face. You aren’t sure when he got the hair tie, but he’s delicate with it, even pulling out a few strands from the side like how you always do.

“Thank you,” you say, surprised.

“So it doesn’t get in the way,” he explains. Your heart skips a beat, understanding they must’ve discussed what they wanted to do tonight beforehand, leaving it as a surprise for you.

Seungmin leans over your shoulder, kissing Minho’s lips messily, before the older pushes him off.

“Youngest first,” Minho says, pointing at the box at the edge of the room where the rest of the toys came from.

Seungmin gets up from the bed, grabbing a matching pink leash out of the box.

He secures the leash onto the collar, giving the handle to Minho before he steps back.

He opens the button on his pants.

You watch as he lets them fall onto the floor, pooling around his feet, along with his boxers.

His cock stands against his stomach at full hardness already, and you swallow tightly.

“Kim Seungmin,” Minho grumbles impatiently, “shirt off. We wanna see all of you.”

Seungmin rolls his eyes but acquiesces, chucking his shirt to the side.

“He’s so pretty,” you voice out loud.

“I know,” Minho agrees, reaching his fingers towards Seungmin's stomach. He runs them up and down the soft skin, and you watch fascinated as small goosebumps rise on the skin of his thighs.

“Minho,” you let out breathless, “I wanna bite him.”

Minho laughs, almost evilly. “I think you should.”

“Yeah?” You blink at Minho.

He nods. “You know how much our boy likes that kinda thing. Do what you want, bunny. I’ll pull you back if I want to, right?”

Your eyes move towards Minho’s hand, thick veins accenting his knuckles as the bright pink leash sits securely in his hands. You clench your thighs together.

Minho grabs one of the pillows and drops it to the floor, right at Seungmin’s feet.

“Down, pet,” Seungmin commands. You have to hold back a moan.

You slowly move onto the floor, knees comfortably sitting on top of the pillow Minho provided. Each small movement nudges the plug inside you—you feel so dizzy with want, with excitement, you aren’t sure you’re even in your own body.

But knowing Minho is holding onto you, connected to him by pink leather, puts you at ease. Minho would never let anything happen to you, and Seungmin would kiss you better if it ever did.

You get into position, holding onto Seungmin’s soft thighs.

“Open,” Seungmin orders, running his thumb across your chin. You open your mouth, instinctively sticking your tongue all the way out as you get comfortable on your knees.

Seungmin laughs at you, shaking his head softly.

“You were waiting to do that, huh?” He says, lowly.

You nod your head, and the bell around your neck starts clicking.

“Such a pathetic girl,” Seungmin whispers, “letting hyung stick a fucking tail in your ass? And you liked it?”

“I liked it so much, Seung,” you whine, “it feels so nice.”

“You didn’t even thank hyung,” Seungmin points out.

You feel a small tug at your collar, so you turn around towards Minho. He’s lying back, hand tucked beneath his head again, his black t-shirt showing off his arms beautifully.

“Thank you, Minho,” you say.

“For what?” Seungmin pushes.

“Thank you for fucking my ass with the tail,” you choke out, heat running up and down your entire body.

Minho doesn’t say anything, but you see his knuckles tighten around the leash.

Your chin is tugged harshly as Seungmin turns your head back towards him, smiling wickedly at you.

“Good pet,” he says, “now I’m gonna fuck a different hole of yours. And you’re not going to stop until hyung pulls you off, yeah?”

“Yes,” you sigh, “please.”

You feel Minho’s hand rub up and down your shoulder, as he plants a small kiss on your temple.

He grabs your hand, holding one of your fingers up.

“One finger means green,” he explains, kissing your knuckle. Then he holds up your second finger, “two means yellow,” then he unravels your whole hand so all your fingers are pointing upwards. He kisses your open palm before saying, “five fingers means red. Can you do that for us, bunny?”

“I can’t speak?” You ask after Minho gives you a small kiss.

“You’re allowed to,” Minho says, “but he’s gonna fuck your throat so you probably won’t be able to.”

You clench around the air, shifting on top of your knees.

You nod, fingers tingling at the idea before you look up at Seungmin.

His cock is bright red already, the head glistening slightly. You want to taste him.

You squeeze his thighs, making a point of using your nails, and he lets out a soft groan.

“Our pet has sharp claws, huh?” Minho chuckles.

You lean forward, planting a few kisses around his hip bone before you scrap your teeth against the skin.

Seungmin lets out a high pitch sigh.

“She bites, too,” Minho hums.

“Want more,” Seungmin groans as you bite him again, sucking on the skin before you lick over the small indents from your teeth.

Minho sinks his fingers into your roots, scraping against the nape of your neck with his blunt nails. You barely notice it when he guides your head further down Seungmin’s body.

Minho pushes your face against Seungmin’s pelvis, your nose brushing against the thick stubble. You kiss anywhere your lips can reach—but you can’t ignore the heat coming from his cock any longer.

Slowly, you lick the tip once and then twice and then Seungmin hisses, “take it all, pet. Come on.”

You do as you’re told, letting your jaw drop slack as you slip as much of it inside your mouth as you can.

The height isn’t exactly perfect for your current task, so you try to make up for it, lifting up on your knees to make up for Seungmin’s long legs.

Minho notices, and when he does, he tugs on the leash just enough so that you start struggling against his grip. He’s trying to push you back down to the floor.

The lower you are, the harder it is to fit all of Seungmin’s length inside your mouth but the more you try to lift up—the harder Minho tugs on your leash.

Your thighs are starting to shake.

As a distraction you focus on fluttering your tongue against Seungmin, sucking harder around his warm cock as the salty taste takes over your thoughts.

You want him closer, you want more, and when you drag your body towards him your pussy rubs just right against the pillow you’re sitting on.

You moan around him, and Seungmin throws his head back from the vibrations. Minho tugs on your leash in warning.

“Don’t even think about it,” he says.

Obviously, you do it again.

“Up,” he orders, “on your knees, up.”

You lift yourself up, struggling to sit up on your knees, but thankfully it’s much easier to control what you’re doing that way.

When you start finding your pace, head bobbing up and down freely, Minho tugs on the leash so quickly you lose your breath for a moment or two.

Once the collar isn’t digging into your throat as much you try to breathe in, but Seungmin holds your head in place.

“Such a warm hole for me,” he mumbles, “you don’t need to breathe, right?”

You look up at him, blinking away tears as you breathe in quickly through your nose.

He tugs at your ponytail until his dick falls out of your mouth. You gasp in as much air as you can.

“What do you like more, slut, breathing or my cock?”

“Your cock,” you say, embarrassingly fast, “it’s better than anything else.”

“God, you’ve gone entirely dumb,” Seungmin mocks, eyes narrowed at you.

You nod, the bell rings along with your movements. “Keep going, Seungmin. You said you’d ruin me, please fucking ruin me.”

“Hyung,” he whines, “I’m gonna cum all over her fucking face like this.”

At that Minho grabs you from behind, small hands covering your head as he guides you back onto Seungmin’s cock. You quickly swallow him in, getting used to the weight of him in your mouth again.

You grab onto his thighs for support, making sure to dig your nails into the skin again. As you let go of any control you have, you allow Minho to push your head up and down, up and down, while Seungmin gets louder and louder.

You bring your hands onto his stomach, scratching five long lines on each side from his hips to his thighs.

Seungmin keens.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he starts chanting, “do it-do that, do that again.”

Minho runs his hand down Seungmin’s back, scratching harshly as Seungmin lets out his loudest moan yet.

“Make her choke on my cum, make her choke on it, fuck fuck fuck—“

Minho shoves your head down until your nose is flush against Seungmin’s pelvis. You look for air anywhere you can but there isn’t much. The tip is so deep inside your throat you’re sure it can be seen clearly through your neck, but neither of them can see anything when you’re pressed flush against Seungmin.

A moment or two of nothing but Seungmin’s moans and you gagging, and then the salty taste gets stronger and his cum fills your throat in a sudden gush and Minho pulls you off in a matter of seconds.

You don’t even open your eyes, too overwhelmed by the speed of it all, focusing all your efforts on making up for the lack in your lungs without actually choking on your boyfriend’s cum.

Once you recover enough you remember to swallow what’s left in your mouth, the rest spilled all over you and the pillow and your brand new pink lace.

You feel a hand on your chin, cleaning you up, and when you open your eyes Minho’s looking you up and down seriously.

“How are we doing?”

“Green,” you practically moan, “keep going, I’m not done.”

“Calm down,” Seungmin chuckles, sitting on the edge of the bed, “you sucked my soul out.”

You grin at that, pride filling your chest at the state he’s in.

His chest is covered in a sheer layer of sweat, bangs sticking to his forehead even though he styled them away from his face today—and his cheeks are bright pink. There’s scratches all down his thighs; you imagine his back doesn’t look any better. He can barely keep his eyes open, still breathing in and out with effort.

“You’re so fucking hot like this, Seung,” you groan, “please, I can go again.”

“I can’t,” he falls on his back, covering his face with his arm as his chest raises up and down rapidly. “Leave me alone.”

You look up at Minho, eyebrows lifting in a silent plea.

“Go on,” he says, one corner of his lips lifting up into a smile, “hump his thighs.”

Seungmin groans, as if protesting, but he spreads himself on the bed until he looks comfortable. Then, he lifts his arm away from his eyes.

He licks his lips and you notice his breathing has settled down slightly. He doesn’t move, barely reacts as you climb onto his thigh and drag your cunt over the soft skin.

You groan as the damp fabric rubs against your folds.

There’s a constant ding ding ding from the bell, the sound spurring you on to go faster and faster.

“You did so well,” Minho praises, “and you’re so eager to do more. You have to cum for us first as a reward for all your hard work.”

You nod, “yeah, thank you. Thank you, Minho.”

“Like when you train a puppy to do tricks,” Seungmin explains, “we’re gonna let you cum as your treat.”

You whine at his words, dragging your hips back and forth at an aching pace.

“Show off your tail, baby,” Minho mumbles, “looks so fucking hot when it bounces around like that.”

You can’t imagine there’s any kind of grace in your movements, far too concerned with chasing the pleasure to think of how it looks—but Minho’s eyes are frozen on your ass, completely enchanted by the fluffy white tail.

It’s only when he slaps your ass, the surprise causing you to fall forward on Seungmin’s chest, that you feel yourself on the edge of cumming. The drag of your cunt against Seungmin’s thigh and the newfound angle nudging the plug inside you just right causes your moans to get more intense, louder, more desperate.

Seungmin grabs your tits with both hands, “bubs, cum.”

He says it like a command, like all the other commands he gave you so far tonight, and your body has already learned to react to anything he says.

You instantly start shaking in his hold, tingles running all the way from your toes to the tips of your fingers as your orgasm crashes through you. You clench tightly, the plug making it all the more sweeter as you ride it out for as long as you can.

You collapse on top of Seungmin, a content hum echoing against your chest when he pulls you into a hug.

You watch as Minho lays down next to Seungmin, brushing any stray hairs that fell out of your ponytail from all your efforts. You aren’t sure when he stripped down but he’s completely naked now, and you let yourself indulge in the beautiful sight of his bare body. From his sculptured chest to his thick thighs to his gorgeous cock sitting angry and needy against his stomach.

Seungmin kisses the top of your head, then lazily kisses Minho’s cheek.

“How are you, baby?” He asks.

“So hard I could cry,” Minho chuckles.

Seungmin’s hand wraps around the base of Minho’s cock, squeezing tightly.

Minho groans loudly, the sound so different from how composed he’s been so far. You can see his desperation when he shuts his eyes tightly, mouth hanging open.

“Bunny,” he groans, “how are you?”

All you can do is lift up two fingers.

“Need more rest?” You nod.

“Don’t worry, hyung,” Seungmin says, giving Minho’s cock one full stroke, “I’ll take care of it while our baby rests.”

Seungmin holds you in one arm and uses the other to keep pumping Minho’s cock. Minho moans freely, letting himself enjoy the attention finally being on him.

You know he prefers giving when it’s the three of you, and especially when you decide to try one of your own kinks, but he still loves when the attention is on him—and who wouldn’t love one of Seungmin’s big hands all over them?

No more than thirty seconds pass before you decide you’ve rested enough.

“Let me sit on it,” you mumble out, “want his cock in me.”

“She still sounds so desperate,” Seungmin hums, “we can all barely move but she’s still hungry for cock.”

Minho smiles lazily, grabbing at the leash and pulling you towards him.

You aren’t very graceful when you climb over to his side but you have to do it quickly, the collar already pressing down on your windpipe.

Minho helps you settle on his thighs. You notice just how much bigger they are than Seungmin’s when the stretch in your thigh deepens from the prolonged positioned you’re in.

He pushes your ruined underwear to the side while guiding his cock towards your entrance. He nudges the tip against your clit, spreading all your wetness on his cock before he easily slips it inside you.

It feels tighter than usual, the plug sitting snug right by his cock, and you can cum from the thought alone.

“You two look so good together,” Seungmin mumbles, cupping his balls. With his other hand, he brushes Minho’s hair out of his eyes. “I’m so in love with you two.”

Minho thrusts up, hard, surprising a squeal out of you.

“Oh my god,” Minho groans, “tell him if he says that again I’ll cum.”

“Seungie,” you start, and Minho instantly picks up his pace, practically drilling into you from below, “S-Seungie, tell Minho how, fuck, how much you love him.”

“Shut up,” Minho warns, snapping the leash. You clench as your breath hitches, but that doesn’t stop you.

You wrap your hands around Seungmin’s cock, at full hardness again already, and start lazily stroking him.

He bites his plump lip, blinking slowly at the pair of you.

“Fuck, I love you two so much,” he groans. You pump him faster.

Your coordination is awful, and Minho’s thrusts keep jolting you around, and all three of you can barely move but neither one of you will stop.

It should be awkward. You think it’s nothing less than perfect.

“Hyungie is the best boyfriend I could’ve asked for, and you’re the best girlfriend. It’s like I have the entire world here with me when we’re together. I’m so lucky you two are mine,”

You feel Minho’s dick twitching inside you.

“Say it again,” you whine, “fuck, Seung, I love you.”

He sits up enough to kiss you firmly on the lips, and it’s one too many things to focus on so you don’t think you do a good job of it at all.

You try to put all your energy on Seungmin’s cock, knowing Minho is controlling his own pace well enough, but Seungmin already came tonight and your hand isn’t fast enough.

Still, “Seungmin, I love you so much,” Minho moans. “Fuck, I love you both with my entire heart.”

“Minho,” you whine, not used to him saying things like that so desperately.

“Hyungie,” Seungmin says as he pulls him in for a kiss, “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

The three of you start breathing desperately, all broken moans and messy kisses.

“I need you two like I need air,” Seungmin says.

“I couldn’t breathe without either one of you,” Minho agrees.

“Fuck,” you gasp out as Seungmin pushes the tail deeper inside you, “I need you two, I need you two more than anything.”

“I’m gonna cum,” Minho warms.

“Min, I love you,” you kiss him, “cum for us, Min, wanna feel you so close inside me.”

“M-me too,” Seungmin groans, “gonna cum, too.”

You can’t be the only one left out, and so you quickly start rubbing your clit in figure-eights with your free hand. It’s a mess of movements and an unsynchronized chorus of moans—but soon the three of you are all hit with it at the same time.

Minho gets there first, and it’s a domino reaction when Seungmin notices his boyfriend cumming inside his girlfriend, and your body reacts to the pair of them slowly after.

Minho carefully guides you off his thighs, ignoring the mess between your legs and the way it’s slipping out of your cunt and all over the bed.

He unlocks the leash, opens the collar and throws it off to the side somewhere. He only needs one hand to do so, and you can’t suppress the moan that leaves you from the sight of it. Luckily, they don’t think much of it as the three of you are all still sensitive.

Minho slowly, and with a few reassuring words, slips the plug out as well.

The pair of them rub over your neck and your sore thighs and your exhausted wrist. Minho takes a bit of water and washes over your neck to make sure your skin doesn’t get too irritated and then he makes sure to give you what little is left in the water bottle to drink. Everything still tastes of Seungmin, though.

After a few minutes Minho settles down against your chest, reaching a hand to hold onto Seungmin’s hips.

You’re sandwiched so closely together you might actually stop breathing soon—somehow it’s still not close enough.

“Kim Seungmin,” Minho mumbles, eyes closed, “since when do you get sappy during sex?”

“Wasn’t my fault,” he mumbles sleepily back, “I was overwhelmed. I truly meant it all.”

“Of course you did,” Minho says, as if stating a fact. “There’s a lot of things I’m unsure of, but what the three of us have together isn’t one of them.”

“If you guys don’t shut up I’ll start crying,” you threaten.

Minho kisses your cheek. Seungmin kisses your shoulder.

“You mean the world to me, bubs,” Seungmin mumbles.

“I will cry,” you groan.

“Fine, I hate you. Happy?” Seungmin chuckles.

You giggle at him, “I hate you, too.”

“Why are you two so annoying?” Minho smiles, big and content. You kiss his cheek softly.

It’s sweaty in your three way hug, and you’re still sticky all over, and your throat is on fire from thirst. But still, you don’t move yet, entirely content with being wrapped all around the two of them, unsure of where you end and they begin. It’s fitting like that, you think to yourself, being so close together your breath easily turns into theirs.

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eggyrocks · 1 day

Note

congrats on 500 followers 🫶🏻 can I get #40 and Kageyama? they’re meant for one another

ur so right for this one it's so aggressively kageyama

500 followers special: #40: "Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?"

kageyama x gn reader, university au, tutoring, jock x nerd dynamic kinda if u squint, fluff, not proofread

written content masterlist

Tutoring is a job. It's a job that pays money. Albeit, pretty shit money, but money nonetheless. So they are going to smile and correct the essays and offer advice and they are not going sit there and pout over how much their student absolutely fucking hates them.

There's not a doubt in their mind that Kageyama would not be here if he didn't have to be. He does not care about his grades. He does not care about the material he writes about or even what he's writing (that much is clear from his essays; they have no point of view and are random regurgitations from text books sloppily thrown together to meet the word count).

It's very obvious to them that Kageyama is there to meet the minimum grade point average required in order for him to stay on the university's volleyball team.

So every Wednesday he ends up in the library with them, watching as they completely massacre his first drafts.

Their red pen draws a lazy circle around his third paragraph. "See, this portion here is in complete contradiction to the point you made earlier."

Kageyama, as he usually does, offers a slight grunt in response, his eyes narrowed at the essay before him, as if it's some sort of challenge for him to conquer.

He's not the best with words. On the page or out loud.

"And in this paragraph here, you're just summarizing again," they explain, red pen making a mess of the paper. "There's no sense of organization, and the way you start to deviate from the argument you laid out in the opening paragraph is gonna make your professor think you don't understand the text."

"I don't understand the text," Kageyama says, matter-of-factly, but there is a twist in his mouth and a slight dusting of pink in his cheeks.

They stop, and blink up at him. Their pen drops, and they lean back in their chair. "Okay, well when you're reading, what are you thinking about?"

Kageyama takes a moment to think. It's one of the things about him they appreciate-he thinks about every question posed to him. He doesn't ever say anything just for the sake of it, or because he thinks it's what he should say.

They appreciate that, among other things. Like the veins in his forearms and the size of his hands and the shade of blue in his eyes when he focuses.

Those things, they really, really appreciate.

"Usually, I'm not thinking about what I'm reading," Kageyama eventually replies, snapping them out of it. "I'm usually thinking about practice."

He's such a jock, they think to themselves, and try not to think of what exactly that makes them.

"Well, that's the main problem then, you're trying to dissect something you're not actively engaging in," they tell him, pushing the paper back towards him. Their hour's almost up. "I'd go back and try to reread more actively."

Kageyama frowns, and if he wasn't constantly frowning and sighing and grunting around him, they would think it's cute. "Okay, I'll try."

They give him a nod. "Text me if you need help going over the text next time instead of reviewing a new draft. Not due for another two weeks, right?" Kageyama gives them a nod in confirmation. "Right, so we'll have time. And try not to stress, okay? Your essays are getting better than when we started these sessions."

He freezes in place. If his cheeks were pink before, they're bright red now. "They are?"

A small smile forms on their face. "Yeah. I can tell you're getting more confident with your writing."

Kageyama's eyes are wide for a second, and then they find his hands, which are knotted together on the table in front of him. "Yeah, well, you're a really good tutor. You make it easier to understand everything."

Now, they can't contain the grin that spreads. The praise is one thing, but the way he's blushing and flustered in front of them is an entire other thing. "Really? This whole time I thought you hated me."

"I don't hate you," Kageyama counters quickly and quietly. "You're just a lot smarter than me. It's intimidating."

They pause. "I don't think I'm smarter than you," they muse, leaning back in their chair, and Kageyama's eyes flash up to them. "There are tons of different ways to be intelligent. Just because I can write essays doesn't mean I'm a genius. And isn't that what I've heard about you? You're some sort of genius volleyball player?"

Kageyama still won't look up at them, but the corner of his lips tug up into a slight, barely-there smile. "Yeah, I guess so."

They don't focus on his words, though. They lean forward over the table and try to get a better look. "Holy shit," they almost gape. "Have I entered an alternate universe, or did you really just crack a smile for me?"

It doesn't drop. They half-expected it to. But instead, his smile remains, and Kageyama looks up at them, still blushing and hands still pressed together. "I am capable of it, you know."

It's cute, his smile. Unsure and nervous, like the way he can be, sometimes. "I'd like to see it more," they admit to him.

"You could come see, sometime. Me play. Volleyball, I mean. See if I'm a genius after all," he offers, only stumbling over his words a bit. "That'd make me smile."

Now it's their face that heats up. "Yeah, I'd like that."

Kageyama nods, and then stands to gather his things, swiping his marked up essay off the table between them. "I'll text you," he says, still grinning as he turns on his heel, leaving them to try and cool off their cheeks before the next student arrives.

an: hmmmm. maybe this one was better in my head. but im not dwelling on it.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #hq x reader #haikyuu #hq x you #hq #kageyama tobio x you #kageyama tobio fic #kageyama tobio fanfiction #kageyama x reader #kageyama x you #kageyama tobio x reader #kageyama x yn #kageyama tobio x yn #500 follower special

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sparklypinkflightsuit · 2 days

Text

Stars Align: Part 5

Pairing: Bradley Bradshaw x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Pining, Mentions of Abuse, Eventual Smut, Violence, Alcohol, Sexual Themes, Hidden Feelings, Swearing, Cheating, Established Relationship.

-- Part 4 Here --

________________________

18+ Only

________________________

Past:

You and Bradley didn't speak for a few days after your conversation at the beach, but you felt your cold shoulder beginning to fade when Bradley showed up at your door with a bunch of daisies in his hand, which he thrust at you as soon as you opened the door.

''What are these for?'' you asked.

''For whatever I did to piss you off, I'm sorry.'' he said genuinely, and it broke your heart that you'd made him think he'd actually done something wrong.

''It wasn't you, Bradley, I'm sorry for the way I acted.'' You apologised softly.

Bradley grinned and softly punched your shoulder, ''Besties again?''

You chuckled, ''Never stopped, Bradshaw.''

Things went mostly back to normal after that, with Bradley still spending most of his time with you. There was the odd occasion Michelle would call Bradley and ask to meet up, where he'd disappear for a while, only to reappear at your house the next day as if he never left.

Bradley didn't say much about Michelle around you, obviously sensing your dislike for her, but it became more and more obvious that they were getting closer and closer to doing the deed, when Carole let slip one night that Bradley had a romantic date planned for her.

You wanted to be sick at the thought, but instead you smiled at her and mumbled 'That's nice, hope you two have a good time.' as Bradley blushed a bright shade of crimson, you both going back to the lovely dinner Carole had cooked for you.

''So, what's this date you've told me nothing about?'' you chuckled as Bradley walked you home that evening, the cool air wafting his poofy dark hair over his eyes. He smoothed his hair back and chuckled awkwardly.

''It's nothing, just dinner. A picnic actually, up on the hill.''

''Are you gonna... you know?''

''Gosh I dunno, Birdy, what's with the interrogation?'' he flushed.

You were both quiet for a moment, until you neared your front lawn and looked up at him, ''For what its worth, I don't think she's right for you. I think you can do better, Rooster.''

Bradley was about to speak, when your dad walked outside.

''Ah, I'm glad you're both here. Can you two come inside for a second, we need to talk.'' your dad said sombrely, and you could see your mother in the hallway, her eyebrows creased.

''What is it, dad?'' you asked as you walked towards him.

''Just come inside.''

__________________________

Present:

Your most important things were packed in a suitcase, the rest still in your apartment. You'd signed a year lease so you thought at the very least if things panned out, you could use it as a storage unit until things were set up in California.

The plane landed and your stomach was in knots. You hadn't told Bradley you were coming yet, and as you left the airport and got in a cab, you suddenly wondered if this was such a good idea.

It was too late to turn back when you decided it was, in fact, a very bad idea, because you were already pulling up outside of Bradleys bungalow. You took a deep breath as you paid the driver, and you swallowed down the nerves as you took your suitcase out of the trunk. You thought you were going to vomit as you walked up to the front door and knocked.

You waited for what felt like an agonisingly long time, but when the door finally swung open, you knew you'd made the right decision.

''Birdy?'' Bradley breathed in disbelief, his hands cupping his mouth as his eyes scanned your face.

''Hope that invitation is still valid.'' you joked sheepishly.

Bradley lunged forwards and swept you up in his big burly arms, you dangled helplessly like a doll in an overly early childs hands, and you chuckled as he buried his face in your neck.

When he finally put you down, you grinned up at him, and noticed his Adams Apple bobbing, he was trying not to cry.

''Oh, you big softie.'' you punched his shoulder and he chuckled, rubbing his eyes.

''I just can't believe you're here. I didn't think you'd come.''

''Well, are you gonna make me live out here on the porch or can I come in?'' you teased.

''Right! Come in, I have a room for you.'' Bradley stepped to the side and grabbed your suitcase. He gave you a quick tour of the little bungalow that you thought seemed too small for a man of his stature, and lastly to the bedroom he'd prepared, just in case you came.

''Wow, Brad, I thought you said you didn't think I was coming?'' you breathed. The room was already set up, pink floral duvet covers and fluffy pillows awaited you, a poster of your favourite boy band in school, and the canvas you'd painted with Bradley stood pride and centre on the wall.

''I know, but I hoped.'' he said simply.

You looked up at him and grabbed his arm, pulling him down to your height. You planted a soft kiss on his cheek and then wrapped your arms around his neck.

''Thank you.'' you whispered as you hugged him.

''Anything for my lil Bird.''

It took a while for you to let go, but when you did Bradley left you to unpack and relax for a while.

You walked around your room and smiled, it was simple and mostly empty, but it had a sense of home that your apartment in New York didn't have.

You sat on the bed and breathed in the smell of sea air wafting in through your windows.

Once you'd unpacked and changed into a more summery dress, you met Bradley in the lounge, the sound of a football match roaring through the speakers. Bradley turned the tv off as you walked in, smiling at you.

''California suits you.'' he grinned.

You swished your dress from side to side, ''Yeah, I think so too.'' you winked.

''How do you feel about meeting some of my friends?'' Bradley asked, as he stood and met you at the centre of the room. He stood over you, tauntingly close, the smell of his cologne teasing your nostrils.

''You mean that blond guy, Jake?'' you scrunched up your nose.

''There are others, I promise.'' he chuckled, cupping your face in both of his huge hands. He stared down at you so intently, for a moment you forgot where you were.

''Why are you looking at me like I'm not real?'' you breathed out a soft, awkward laugh.

''Because I'm scared you're not and I'm gonna wake up without you.'' he said earnestly. Your heart thudded against your chest as his face grew closer, his eyes dipping to your lips.

Knock Knock Knock

Bradleys front door suddenly interrupted you, and you both stepped back, looking at each other for a moment, before Bradley went to answer it.

''I may have texted the group that you're here, I think they took that as an invitation to come and meet you.'' he said apologetically. You laughed as he opened the door and 5 people walked in.

''Hello again little lady.'' Jake, the only one you recognised, grinned at you, toothpick between his teeth.

''Hi, Jake.'' you smiled politely back.

Bradley introduced you to the others as they filtered in, each toting various drinks and bags of snacks.

''This is Nat, Bob, Reuben, and Javy. You'll meet Mickey at some point but he's on his honeymoon at the moment.''

You said hello to everyone, and Nat pulled you in for a hug. She reminded you a lot of Gabby, and you suddenly remembered you needed to give her a call later.

''It's so great to finally meet you, Rooster has been talking about you for years!'' Nat laughed.

''Great to meet you too! Years, huh?'' you shot Bradley a quizzical glance, and he just rolled his eyes.

You all filtered out into the little back yard, where Jake and Javy fired up the grill as everyone got to know you, drinks at hand and before long laughter filling the little yard.

Bradley made his way over to where you and Bob were talking, slinking an arm casually over your shoulder as he took a swig of beer. He joined in the conversation and didn't notice as someone new walked out the back door.

Bob noticed first, and tapped Bradley on the shoulder, his eyes shooting over to the new comer to alert Bradley.

''Hi all!'' she chirped, ''The door was open, hope you don't mind if I join?''

Bradley groaned, moving his arm off of your shoulder as he turned to face her.

''Hey, Alice. Sorry I was gonna call you.'' he said awkwardly as he walked over to the leggy blond.

''Alice, this is my best friend, Y/N.'' He said introducing you with a grin.

And then half heartedly and with a sheepish look, he turned to look at you, ''Y/N, this is Alice... my girlfriend.''

__________________________________

Past:

“What do you mean? Why can’t you just do that job here?” You demanded.

You were sitting in your living room across from your parents, Bradley was next to you with his face in his hands.

“There isn’t a position here for me, Y/N. This job is going to sort out so much debt for us-“ your mom nudged your dad and shook her head to stop him from talking.

“Are we having money problems?” You asked softly.

Bradley lifted his head and looked around with furrowed eyebrows.

Your dad sighed, looked at your mom and she took over, “We’re fine, but we are struggling. This job is our only choice. I’m sorry, honey. I know it’s going to be difficult, but Bradley can come visit whenever and you can stay with them during summer vacation.”

Your parents left you shell shocked in your living room with Bradley, who just looked at you with wide, watery eyes.

“Well, I guess that’s it then…” you mumbled.

“No, it can’t be. I haven’t planned for a life without you, what am I supposed to do when you’re gone?” Bradley suddenly exploded, standing to his feet so quickly it startled you.

He began to pace, “I’m gonna… I’m gonna be stuck with Michelle as my only source of company.” He ranted.

“Isn’t that what you want?” You asked softly.

Bradley looked at you like you’d just asked the most stupid question ever, “No! God no! She’s boring, and stuck up, and rude, when I’m with her all I can think about is getting out.”

“Then why are you with her?” You shook your head in exasperation.

“Because… you don’t get it, Birdy. I’m the only one in my grade that hasn’t… you know. I needed someone experienced who I could do it with.” He groaned, sitting back down and putting his hands over his face.

“Brad, why didn’t you tell me that’s the only reason? If you’re gonna lose your… you know, it should be with someone you actually care about.” You said gently, placing a hand on the top of his arm. He lowered his hands and looked at you for a while.

Bradley sighed, “The only person in this whole damn town I care about is you.”

You were about to respond when your brother walked into the room and wailed dramatically.

“Have you heard the news? Our lives are over!”

—————————————

Present:

“Girlfriend? Oh, hi, nice to meet you.” Your voice was small and shaky, and you had to clear your throat.

Bob noticed the awkward tension and was the first one to realise what was happening.

“Oh my god! Bradley talks about you non stop! So nice to finally meet you, girl!” Alice squealed, hugging you.

Bob cleared his throat, “Y/N, do you mind helping me grab some of the food from the kitchen?” Bob asked, looking you in the eye and giving you a signal.

You nodded and excused yourself, and as soon as you were in the kitchen, you let out a long shaky breath, tears prickling your eyes. You had just made a horrible mistake coming here.

“Hey, are you okay?” Bob asked, rubbing your back comfortingly.

“Yep. I just… I need to call someone. Excuse me.” You rushed off to your bedroom and closed the door, pressing your back up against it as you breathed through the sudden panic.

You found your phone on the nightstand and dialled Gabby’s number.

As soon as she answered, you began to sob uncontrollably.

“Y/N! What’s going on, can you breathe for me please?” She called over the phone.

You attempted to pull in a few short breaths until you were calm enough to speak.

“I’m such an idiot!” You cried.

“Why? What’s happening? You scared me when you left this morning.”

“I… I went to California. Bradley asked me to, so I did, I thought he wanted me here because he felt the same.” You sniffled.

There was a brief silence on the other end, “He doesn’t?” She sounded surprised.

“He has a girlfriend, Gabs, one he never told me about.”

“Ohhh, fuck. Have you met her?”

“Yeah, just now. I was so blindsided I must have come across as rude. I can’t believe I thought Bradley and I had any future, or that he loved me the way I love him. I’ve loved him for what feels like my whole life, Gabs, when am I going to realise I can’t have him?” You wept.

Suddenly the door creaked, and you turned around suddenly to face Bradley, who stood in the doorway with his mouth slightly ajar and his eyebrows furrowed, blinking rapidly as tears threatened to spill over.

“Oh my god.” You whispered. “Gabby I have to go.” You hung up and dropped your phone on the bed.

“Brad-“

He held up a hand to shush you, and edged into the room, closing the door behind him.

“Don’t speak.” He said as he crossed the room. He stood over you and a large hand came up to thread through your hair and cup your cheek.

A tear dropped down your face as you looked up at him, your lip quivering.

“Did you mean what you just said?” Bradley whispered, closing his eyes as his forehead came to rest against yours, your lips inches apart, his warm breath on your skin.

“Yes.” you croaked out. And that’s all you needed to say, because Bradley’s lips came crashing down on yours, taking your breath away. The room spun as your eyes widened, and then gradually fluttered shut.

His other hand cradled the back of your neck as he deepened the kiss, moaning into your lips.

The tears fell faster now as your heart felt as if it was exploding, the fireworks inside you turning your skin alight. You grabbed a fistful of Bradley’s shirt, holding on for dear life as the feeling you’d waited decades for was finally washing over you, better than you'd ever imagined, buckling your knees from underneath you.

Bradley’s hand moved from the back of your head to your lower back and he pulled you into him, holding you up, and still it wasn’t enough, you wanted more, desperate for more, hungry for more, but your conscious suddenly rocked through you like a bolt of lightning and you pushed against Bradley’s chest. You broke away from him with a gasp as you fought for breath. Your hand moved up to your chest to soothe the thrumming inside as you panted.

Bradley looked at you with a confused, longing expression, fighting for his own breath.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Bradley demanded, his face flushed and lips beautifully swollen.

You bit your lip and shook your head before you breathed a laugh, “Would it have made a difference?”

“Yes, Birdy, it would have made all the difference.” He nodded, hands on his hips as he contemplated your words.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a girlfriend before I flew out here?” You asked him sadly.

“I… I didn’t think it mattered. I didn’t know you felt that way.” He looked at his feet.

You shook your head again as you sighed, “I’ve loved you since that stupid moustache began to grow, Brad. In fact I think I loved you the second you saved me on my first day of school.” You breathed.

Bradley’s eyes shot up to meet yours, his bottom lip wobbled as he nodded, “Yeah, that’s about the same time I fell in love with you, too, Birdy.”

You opened your mouth to speak but a sharp knock rasped against your bedroom door and you jumped. The door opened and Bob poked his head through.

“Uhm… you guys should probably come outside.”

—————————————

-- Part 6 Here --

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