#not rly but idk how else to tag her HAHAHA

[aurltas]

author interview tag (!)

aaAAAA ty to @backcountry-deltora for tagging me!!! much loveee <333 i haven’t been looped into a tag game for so so long and this is making me feel 10000% better about the fact that i have not written a single fic related thing in MONTHS o)-( but i love to talk about writing and myself so here we go,,

Name: i went by crystal silvera on ffn and here for the longest time so a lot of ppl know me as crystal but my Real(TM) name is dani and my ao3 name is auritas so like take ur pick haha

Fandoms: currently in mxtx hell (im a mdzs main, to the shock of no one) but my og fandoms that i am still very much attached to are deltora quest (the OG og), young wizards, the raven cycle, and yuri on ice

Where you post: ao3 alllll the way babey (but i originated from ffn and still have some stuff up there.......it’s Not Good tho)

Most popular one-shot: oh boy i knew this was gonna be a popular one bc i only wrote like?? rambly reflective thematic pieces(?) before this, my First Attempt At Fluff lmao. even then, But we’re alive (because we bleed) still exceeded my expectations by far in terms of reception, probs bc mdzs was such an up and coming fandom at the time and i posted it right on the crest of that cql wave

Most popular multi-chapter fic: obviously where the light goes, also known as my beloved CHILD !!!! i don’t write multichaps anymore but this is 2 long ass chapters so ig that’s Technically a multichap haha,,, yeah i knew this one was gonna be popular for the same reasons as the previous one + the very intentional tipping of the scale i did here with the balance of fluff and other things. like this is just pure distilled sugar it’s so so fluffy

Favourite story you’ve written so far: oh mannnn i gotta say where the light goes. especially that first chapter, just,, damn. what was i ON ?? its so good!! what the heck!!! quite proud of my metaphor work there, even if balancing prose/poetry feel is very stilted at times . in terms of that balance i think i did a Really good job with and neither did the both of us bc i went back and reread where the light goes for inspiration and i was like “oh god this is DROWNING in metaphors i need to lighten it up a little”

Fic you were nervous to post: i was nervous about where the light goes bc i had such high expectations going in, like i Knew people were craving what i had but i was like, did i do it right?? will this be my breakthrough in the mdzs fandom??? and it sort of was and sort of wasn’t, which,, fair. also SUPER nervous for astriferous bc i had written it all in like, one (1) day and it was for an exchange LMFAOOO (and you can really tell it was all written in one go......it was only when i hit the end that it got Good)

How you choose your titles: when i write fic i’m often scrapbooking a TON of different things together so titles are often just whatever it is i’m already drawing from. there are a few exceptions, like here, then, begins the mending, or and i need nothing more where a phrase popped into my head during the writing/drafting/brainstorming process and i was like OH THAT’S REALLY GOOD. TITLE IT IS

Do you outline?: usually only if it’s plot-driven, like my (incomplete for . Reasons) (ok i was being pestered bc i took it as a prompt and my promptee was. hm) YW multichap equilibrium, for which i outlined EVERYTHING. it was so annoying but i also lowkey liked it because these were MY messy outline notes and i could go as ham as i’d like

Complete: everything that’s posted !! except equilibrium ofc . that’s gonna stay where it is unless by some miracle of nature i get my momentum back for it

In progress: i am working on another jaslief oneshot!!! and for my mdzs folks i have been working on a rly long lesbian songxiao oneshot for a Very long time and it’s . mwah (i showed it to one of my friends and she lost her mind so i think i can say that with confidence)

Coming soon: probably nothing until i’m released from ochem/thesis hell hahahahahahahaaa but if anything were to come out this year it would be the songxiao most likely !

Do you accept prompts?: not after what happened last time !!!! ;o; until i’m done with school altogether, i really need writing to remain something For Me

Upcoming story you’re the most excited to write?: i wanna finish my jaslief SOOOO bad oh my god . i put in so much self-indulgence in there and used what i learned from where the light goes to make it REALLY good n thematic. like don’t get me wrong i am also so excited for my songxiao but i wrote it with some uhhhhh Influence from things i was going through irl and it feels weighty now?? idk i’ll work it out eventually,, i’ve also had oubing fic brewing in my head for literally a year and i REALLY wanna write some pynch in the barns/cabeswater content. let me write about dreamthings and nATURE

Upcoming story you’re most excited about?: bold of u to assume i read multichapters anymore HAHAHA i rotate through the same library of 100 one-shots i have bookmarked now......but back when i did read multichaps i was REALLY into the work of iruutciv + orchids_and_fictional_cities team from yoi, they were absolute LEGENDS and their fic and miles to go before i sleep changed me as a person lmao (i also did read part of their ongoing but monsters are always hungry, darling and i’m actually still in their discord for it but it is SO so intricately crafted and i fell out of the loop and didn’t rly get back in) . currently i follow megafaunatic aka etymologyplayground’s work the most closely for my mxtx fix (my fav from them currently is probably you, asleep and dreaming)

tagging: @lenawin4 and uhhhhhhh anyone else who feels like doing this?? for my life i cannot recall any other writers off the top of my head rn o)-(

#i yell #tag games #I WISH I COULD WRITE MORE all i do now is learn my silly little organic chemistry reactions and do my silly little physics example problems #and dont forget my silly little thesis !!!!!!!! #but i Have been writing poetry this whole time mainly bc it's a lot more time friendly so my poetry chops are A+++ idk abt prose tho lmfao

[wheat-hands]

updates on my life! 

i’m working w 2 kids and have been for like 5 months now and it’s stressful sometimes but overall really enriching and rewarding and inspiring and teaching me so so much about how they learn and what they’re concerned with and their thought processes and it’s just rly nice (still stressful tho everyday i freak out and one of my kids has a worse affect on me and gets my blood pressure UP THERE cause i’m so anxious i’m doing something wrong and shes so sweet but i feel for the mom and im like im making shit worse i dont have the answer im sorry im just a kid lmao)

i’m still living at home but i’m not as anxious and i’m more open about shit w my parents and it’s nice to be a part of a family even if it’s not perfect... idk not much to be said here, they suck at pronouns and next year im gonna remind them again cause for the past 6 months theyve been like were getting used to it and the name is easier to get used to so first name then pronouns and also correcting us everytime makes us feel bad (honestly i understand where theyre coming from and they are trying but are getting lazy and dont correct themselves as much so i think a reminder of how much it means for me is needed) but theyre good kids or whatever

memes (my cat) is an angel and loves me more and more each day and i cry over her all the time she’s perfect and bratty and has started talking a bit more and god you guys she’s amazing, like i cant afford a dog rn or any other pets and shes just the light of my life shes so affectionate these days and im about it

i’m in love w my best friend and things are flirty and light yet deep and comfortable and i’m taking everything day by day and just letting the love in myself be honest and dreamy without the pressure and anxiety and i’m so enriched to have someone i can call a best friend who inspires me in every way and our friendship is so precious to me and i’m so patient with it and it nudges me to pour my love over into everyone around me like wowowowowowow ykno? i’m proud of both of us for how we communicate and read each other and sometimes i still have doubts about my ability to express shit but it’s not driving my thoughts and we r rly cute together i’m so thankful and proud of them for everything our relationship has been and has given us i god you guys i love them so fucking much its nestled in such a compassion for each other and i just dont doubt theyre love and their effort :’)

and also i have a crush on someone new and it tickles at my throat and makes me heart thrum and buzz and spark and literally just touching their earlobe made my breath catch in my throat and it’s nice to allow that in myself. i trust my actions and my respect of their boundaries and it’s hard for me to be sexual rn (not that that will happen probably) but physical intimacy and affection is like a cool salty breeze just when it was getting too hot, and makes me excited and relaxed even just to have a new friend that i feel connected and comfortable with and a soft flirting connection, idk… it took me by surprise and i feel like im gonna curse it but its cute llmao

i’m doing more art and creative outlets and rly rly rly rly rly wanna take a ceramics/pottery class so so so so fucking bad i feel like it’d be so fun and has so much opportunity for creativity and play and that’s just what i want rn!!! so i hope i pursue an opportunity for that soon, definitely a goal of mine come next year

i’m looking into grad school but not absolutely gunning for any way out of here like i was over the summer…. i miss school a lot a lot but i don’t know what’s in the cards for me yet… and i’m waiting for the dust in my heart to settle a little before i sit and plan out which is a nice change of pace for me but rn i am looking at tulane in new orleans or LA or possibly montreal or possibly like 17 other places lmao 👏🙃🙃🙃🙃

i have a wonderful trip to dreamy mountain towns planned for february and i’m begging for snow fall and to take myself around wherever my heart itches to go and stopping to visit friends along the way, and very excited to take my cameras and document it all… im such good company hahaha like a huge part of me wishes for someone else to tag a long but its not realistic and this is just something i need to do and planning it w someone else might stresss me out :/

i am gonna change my name soon and its not as scary as changing it from my birthname but its gonna be my legal name so thats spooky!

i don’t have a lot of folks close around me, and that’s okay, i have friends and connections in many places and i’m not trying to compete with an invisible self anymore that has someone to hang out with all the time and talks to people everyday, im me and enriching connections whenever possible but letting them take root and grow on their own when they tell me thats what they need

i’m just overall healing and growing rn and there’s still days when i hate every moment and everything i do but im good at noting when things are good and singing loud and dancing goofy and just feeling every fucking inch of my self without disgust or anguish

it’s not perfect…. but i’m so so so glad i’m still here to be told i’m so fucking loved, and make little girls smile and feel validated, and be an animals favorite person… to write letters to like everyone i know to pedal my little bike in the cold cold wind… i know all the reasons i never wanna die and all the reasons im still here

#me #personal #long!

[kangdan101]

questions tag :)

tagged by @hwangminyeo :’) lmao im sorry my life is so uninteresting but it was fun to answer these still heh

THE LAST

·        drink: water! Recently I’ve been trying to drink more water bc I am extremely dehydrated; i tend to drink like 1 cup a day (lol) stay hydrated kids

·         phone call: this morning!

·         text message: like one min ago I was just arguing with my friend whether or not our math teachers first name is jose or not (update: I was right, it IS jose xD)

·         song you listened to: ENERGETIC BY WANNA ONE!!11

·         time you cried: maybe like 15 min ago…????? Lmfao I was watching wanna one sing always and I got emotional (i cry about everything)

·         HAVE YOU EVER

·         dated someone twice: it’s hard to date someone twice if you’ve never dated someone at all lol (motae solo like minhyun)

·         kissed someone and regretted it: no

·         been cheated on: no

·         lost someone special: yes :’(

·         been depressed: yes. This last year was really really hard for me. Balancing dance and school and everything made me super stressed and I started to pull myself away from ppl :/ tbh produce kinda got me out of it lol and im 100% ok now

·         gotten drunk and thrown up: nope (lol bc I’ve never drank before hahaha theres so many things I haven’t done)

·         3 FAVORITE COLORS

·         Baby blue

·         Mint green

·         Peach pink ;)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

·         made new friends: yes

·         fallen out of love: no 

·         laughed until you cried: literally I laugh way too much for my own good

·         found out someone was talking about you: I don’t think so :o

·         met someone who changed you: yes, many of them! (esp kangdan tho)

·         found out who your friends are: yes :)

·         kissed someone on your Facebook list: yikes no

GENERAL

·         how many Facebook friends do you know in real life: mostly all my fb friends go to my school but I don’t actually know some of them? So I’d say like 70%

·         do you have any pets: I’d like to think my little brother Anthony is secretly a dog bc he resembles one and can get hella wild sometimes lmao

·         do you want to change your name: my name is legit the most basic Chinese name ever I know like 3 other people with the exact same first and last name and alskdjgowaei;lskdfj it gets on my nerves sometimes I always liked the name lilia / lily but in 7th grade I met this girl whose name was Philomena and its now my favorite name ever

·         what did you do for your last birthday: lmao I studied bc I had a hUge test the next day and your girl’s serious about her grades man

·         what time did you wake up: LMAO I woke up twice this morning: first time at 4:40 to catch WANNA ONE DEBUT and then went back to sleep @ 6 am; woke up again at 7:30 am for class

·         what were you doing at midnight last night: I was on tumblr watching everyone hype about wanna one it was gr8

·         name something you can’t wait for: finishing junior year + SAT shit :/ lol my junior year hasn’t even started yet but im so nervous I hope I don’t screw up and thinking about it is making my heart beat faster yikes (wish me luck guys hopefully im still alive by june)  

·         when was the last time you saw your mom: a few min ago~

·         what are you listening to right now: my little brother Anthony is singing shape of you and its not pretty lol (he’s eleven)

·         have you ever talked to a person named tom: I don’t really remember

·         something that is getting on your nerves: the SAT omygod I just really want it to be over and im SO NERVOUS also anthony’s singing is starting to bug me (he changed songs and now he’s singing gibberish and it’s very distracting)

·         most visited website: probably youtube/fb/tumblr

·         hair color: blackish-brown. my roots are black but the ends seem to be browning a lil? Probably since it’s summer now and the sun is working its magic 

·         long or short hair: medium length! Like halfway down my back???

·         do you have a crush on someone: nope & haven’t had one for like two years

·         what do you like about yourself: my monolids? But my mom wants me to get surgery lmfao also i like that i have a naturally high foot arch bc its helpful for dance :)))

·         blood type: a… I think?

·         nickname: name: sarah; nicknames: sawa, sala, salad, swisso (I promise this makes sense in context), moon, moonmoon (these make sense in context too lol)

·         relationship status: single mom of my 98 produce children and always have been lollll

·         zodiac: capricorn

·         pronouns: she/her

·         favorite tv show: descendants of the sun, suspicious partner, I hear your voice, once upon a time, produce aka a horrible show that hurts u in all sorts of ways (pls rec me some bc I wanna binge some tv shows before school starts)

·         tattoos: none atm but maybe when I’m older I want a tiny star, or a tiny moon, or maybe my Chinese name?

·         right or left handed: Right

·         surgery: I got eye surgery done when I was rly young bc the gland between my eyes and nose was blocked which basically made me cry ALL THE TIME (like even when I’d be staring at nothing)

·         sport: I dance! And I used to do rhythmic gymnastics but I had to quit bc school was getting too busy I miss rhythmic gymnastics so much u have no idea

·         vacation: I think I’m going to go out touring colleges along the east coast near the end of august!!!

·         pair of shoes: I wear my converse a lot as well as my nike free runs. But other than that my shoe collection is p limited rippp

·         MORE GENERAL

·         eating: just finished dinner

·         drinking: nothing atm xD gdi in the beginning of this tag I wanted to be more hydrated and look where I am now lmao

·         I’m about to: wash the dishes that we used for dinner

·         waiting for: the day I graduate high school so I can go to college and take classes I love and alskdgjaowlfkdsfj (lmao im such a nerd im sorry)

·         want: to eat some ice cream (I love ice cream)

·         get married: that would be a miracle tbh

·         career: high school student / summer school teachers assistant  THE KIDS I TEACH ARE SO LOUD AND WILD theyre legit animals everytime I step into the classroom i can’t believe these 8th graders are capable of such chaos

WHICH IS BETTER

·         hugs or kisses: I luv hugs and I luv kisses

·         lips or eyes: both???

·         shorter or taller: taller (its not hard to be taller than me lol)

·         older or younger: older

·         nice arms or nice stomach: I think…. Arms 

·         hook up or relationship: relationshiip

·         troublemaker or hesitant: jesus idk I’ve never dated so I really wouldn’t know alskdjgoalkdsfj (but i mean troublemaker is a gr8 song??)

HAVE YOU EVER

·         kissed a stranger: no that sounds scary :0

·         drank hard liquor: no

·         lost glasses/contact lenses: I LOsT MY GLAssES IN FLORIDA ONCE agldkgjaosdfkj I swear I put it down on the airport seat and when I turned around THEY WERE GONE I spend a good 2 hours looking for them but they legit disappeared :/ to this day I am still wondering where that pair of glasses went

·         turned someone down: yes

·         sex on the first date: no 

·         broken someone’s heart: i sure hope not 

·         had your heart broken: no

·         been arrested: no

·         cried when someone died: so many times

·         fallen for a friend: lowkey yes but they still don’t know about that

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

·         yourself: I try to

·         miracles: yes or else what will happen to me in the future I need miracles to carry me bc my luck is trASH

·         love at first sight: no

·         santa clause: maybe for the first few years but then I caught my parents

·         kiss on the first date: no

·         angels: idk actually… I guess?

OTHER

·         eye color: brown; I feel like my eyes have been getting lighter over the years bc the outside of my iris is like brown but near the pupil its more of a hazel

·         favorite movie: I have so many omg I luv spirited away, howls moving castle, the book thief, and I recently watched wonder woman (pls rec some movies too im always in the mood for one :D) 

im tagging anyone who wishes to do this! 

#tags #funtime101 #lol my life is hella bland #sry if u had to read through it all #yikes

[cutekookie]

oh hecking heck it's been a while

an actual angel @kookminau has tagged me in a tag game thing. thank u bby 😇❤️ 

 THE LAST: 
 1. drink: ribena my baby my smollest child 2. phone call: my mum bc she was tryna work out how to use facetime lmao 
3. text message: “i just woke up” classic 
4. song you listened to: look here - bangtan 5. time you cried: yesterday after i saw jm and jk in the bon voyage episode hahaha kill me 
6. dated someone twice: no thank god 7. kissed someone and regretted it: ye o boi 8. been cheated on: nah 9. lost someone special: who hasn’t 10. been depressed: ye 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: every time cries

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: 
 12-14. gold, red and pink!!!!!!

 IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 
 15. made new friends: yeye❤️❤️❤️ 16. fallen out of love: on reflection p sure it was just infatuation but maybe?? 17. laughed until you cried: yeah omg 
18. found out someone was talking about you: lmao yes always 19. met someone who changed you: yes!
 20. found out who your friends are: hahaha oh boy yes!!! 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: a few actually Y I K E S

GENERAL: 
22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them!! like 97% hahah 
23. do you have any pets: 3 annoying as heck but adorable doggos! 24. do you want to change your name: last name hell yeah 25. what did you do for your last birthday: i got drunk w some cool cats n had ice cream cake quality 26. what time did you wake up: 10am oops 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: i was asleep LMAO but the night before i was reading this rly angsty drarry fic bless 28. name something you can’t wait for: bts to return to aus pls and thank u.. also jikook coming out video lol i h8 myself 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like 20 mins ago ahah 
30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my height :((( and my head to stop being so hecked up lmao 31. what are you listening to right now: nothing actually haha 
32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: unfortunately
 33. something that is getting on your nerves: a teacher at my school who thinks ive ‘skipped’ school the past few days (side note: NOT MY CHOICE! I HAVE HECKING GASTRO!!!!!) 
34. most visited website: tumblr.com/search/jikook (and fb n shit i guess) 
35. mole/s:one on my neck and one on my cheek ?? i think??but they tiny so not sure if the class as moles lmao 36. mark/s: some faint scars on my knees and face from operations and also a birthmark on my toe! 
37. childhood dream: to be a palleingtologist .. fuck i cant even spell it now. the one where you dig up dinosaurs and shit.  
38. hair colour: black kms school wont let me have bright red.. the second ive graduated tho ill be a firetruck again 39. long or short hair: rn its short as but im tryna grow it out 
40. do you have a crush on someone: yes ❤️ 41. what do you like about yourself: my lips/teeth?? sounds strange but idk i have kinda nice lips n my teeth are p bright n straight so?? 42. piercings: oh god okay bear w me: four on each earlobe, rook, cartlidge, lip. had a second cartilidge, but it fell out. had a second lip piercing, but it fell out. had a septum but then i didnt like it anymore lmao 
43. blood type: no clue tbh 
44. nickname: bumblebee/bee 
45. relationship status: i have a gf kinda not officially 
but p much?? 46. zodiac: capricorn 
47. pronouns: she/her 
 48. favourite tv show: ooo theres a lot. i rly like Shadowhunters and trashy reality stuff tho ;; 
49. tattoos: not yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
50. right or left handed: right handed 
51. surgery: knee, tonsils removed, and lip bc i managed to split it open when i was 2 lmao,, wild 52. piercing: im like at least 99.9% sure this was already a q 53. sport: swimming and dancing are the only ones i like participating in, but tennis is cool to watch!! 55. vacation: just went to the usa which was amazing, but have been to fiji, bali, italy, and usa (2 times now) 
56. pair of trainers: i mean the pair of shoes ive owned the longest is a pair of high top red converse lmao come at me joon 

MORE GENERAL: 
57. eating: chips lmao 
58. drinking: nothing 
59. i’m about to: probably read smth idk 
61. waiting for: bedtime im so tired rip 62. want: be happy and also get a photo with jeon jeongguk before i die 63. get married: well @ government make it legal for gays to marry then maybe i can lmao 64. career: maybe a teacher?? idk 65. hugs or kisses: both !!!! i love affection in all forms 66. lips or eyes: usually eyes 
67. shorter or taller: usually taller but my current gf-not-gf is TINY and shes the cutest omg 
68. older or younger: doesnt matter just not a big gap lmao 
70. nice arms or nice stomach: ???? nice heart 
71. sensitive or loud: i mean loud bc same but sensitive bc thats cool too idk??
72. hook up or relationship: relationship for sure 
73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant lmao

HAVE YOU EVER: 
 74. kissed a stranger: yeah, back when i was tryna prove i was a Heterosexual 
75. drank hard liquor: every time a massive mistake 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: yes :((( but they always turn up eventually 77. turned someone down: yeah 78. sex on the first date: idk depends on the person?? 79. broken someone’s heart: 
yeah 80. had your heart broken: yeppo 
81. been arrested: nah im a cry baby and terrified of getting in trouble lol 
82. cried when someone died: of course 
83. fallen for a friend: certainly crushed on a friend idk bout fallen tho

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 
 84. yourself: eh *vague hand gestures* 
85. miracles: maybe,,,, idk 86. love at first sight: nah. i believe in infatuation at first site, and great affection or attraction at first site, but not love. 87. santa claus: i want to in my child heart but nah hhaha. believed until i was 12 tho lmao 
88. kiss on the first date: if ur both down yeah sure why not 89. angels: park jimin exists, so... but yeah maybe?? idk

OTHER: 
90. current best friend’s name: roman n jay god bless 91. eye colour: hazel leaning more on the brown side 92. favourite movie: oh gosh um???? a lot???? few faves are train to busan (killed me), moana, aladdin, mulan, ummmm idk disney and superhero movies and sometimes horrors haha

I TAG: @mindyourfuckinglanguage & @satansgaypornblog p certain jay doesnt even use this any more but fuck it lmao. also @inbts bc u were in my activity also i dont know how else to say hi but by tagging u in a post... so hi!❤️

thank u goodnight as usual feel free to do it if i didnt tag u live ur dreams have fun bye jikook is real

#me #thank u sonia #❤️❤️❤️ #personal #i dont remember any of the tags i used to use lmao