#not only that but i ended up pushing act 2 to 11pm at night so i ended up writing almost all of lotc within 6 hours | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

crackheadgeminibby · 3 years

Text

better for you

pairing: chris evans x female!black!reader

warnings: age gap, angst, language

word count: 2.7k

a/n: this lowkey sucks and is very poorly edited, i’m sorry but on the plus side, i surpassed 400 followers yesterday!! so thank you to those 400+ people🤍🤍

i do not consent to my work being copied in any way, shape of form or reposted on any other platform

not my picture

You didn’t consider yourself a jealous person. Much less a jealous girlfriend. Not at all. Never had and you thought you never would.

You had practically raised yourself as your parents had always been more preoccupied with their jobs. You loved your parents, you really did, but when your high school counselor told you that you could graduate high school a year and a half early, you took the opportunity to start college immediately and move out of your parents’ house. This drastic change when you were so young made you become extremely independent. Which is why your relationship with Chris worked almost perfectly. You valued your independence, as he did his, and you respected his independence, as he did yours.

As a corporate lawyer that had multiple firms around the country, you traveled a lot, needing to meet with clients. Chris, as an actor, also traveled a lot.

You both trusted the other without a doubt at the beginning of the relationship despite that Chris was, at first, a little wary of being with someone as young as you. As a 24-year-old, he thought that you should be living your life, partying, sleeping with whomever you wanted without being tied down, but you had explained to him that despite your age, those were not the things that you wanted.

You and Chris were truly made for each other, knowing the other more than they knew themselves. You would even dare to call yourselves soulmates.

Which is why you could not fathom why you were in your current situation.

You had left early in the day for California, where you were overseeing the opening and start-up of your newest firm. Chris, on the other hand, had left 3 days ago to go on some trip his publicist had arranged for him. You hadn’t bothered asking what it was about, assuming that it was about ASP. Plus, you didn’t mind it: he had to do what he had to do.

But now, you couldn’t believe yourself.

You were sitting on your hotel bed, in a white and fluffy robe, fresh out of the shower. Your computer was open in front of you, the TV was blaring the news and you had your phone in your hand. It was almost 11pm but you had been doing this for at least 3 hours. All three electronics were talking about the same thing: Are Chris Evans and Lily James dating??

It was a bit your fault that people gave themselves the right to assume things like that, to be honest, since you had been the one to pressure Chris about keeping your relationship secret. You knew that people would talk and judge you for your 15-year age gap. You, personally, didn’t care and neither did Chris but his career was dependent on his public image and you didn’t want to hold him back, especially not at a pivotal moment in his life like right now.

So, you had agreed on telling your families and your very close friends and Chris had convinced you to let him tell his publicist, Megan. God, she fucking hated you. When Chris arranged for you guys to meet, she had called you “a walking, breathing PR disaster”. You had laughed it off calling her funny, but you knew that she was 100% serious. You really shouldn’t have been surprised that she would do something so fucked up at some point.

A bunch of different news outlets were pumping out new stories every 30 minutes, each article a little more detailed than the previous. It was all over the Internet and it seemed to be the only thing that people cared about today.

Considering the 8-hour difference between London and San Francisco, you hadn’t been able to talk to Chris at all since you got to your hotel. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to talk to him. He hadn’t even tried to talk to you. Why was he avoiding you and acting like he had something to hide?

You’re reading the latest Daily Mail article on your computer about how Chris and Lily apparently got to his hotel in the same car when you hear your phone ring on the nightstand. You don’t even bother looking at the caller ID as you reach for your phone, eyes still glued to your computer and answer,

“Hello?”

You hear a loud exhale on the other end of the phone before you hear Chris’ tired voice, “Baby, hi.”

You tense up slightly before asking, trying to seem nonchalant, “What’s up?”

“Have you watched the news today?”

You bite your lip, thinking, before replying, lying through your teeth, “No, why? What’s going on?”

Chris sighs again before answering, “Nothing, it’s fine. How was your day?”

You roll your eyes. Was he seriously not going to say anything?

“Fine, but it’s really late and I have to get up early tomorrow so good night.”

You hang up the phone before Chris can answer anything. You throw the phone at the end of your bed, frustrated beyond belief.

You continue to read the Daily Mail article as you hear a message coming in. You don’t bother to get up to pick up your phone as you see the message appear on your computer screen a couple of seconds later.

chris💙, 11:01pm:

Good night baby girl. Good luck tomorrow🤍

You groan loudly at his message. Even when he had pissed you the fuck off, his words still brought butterflies to your stomach.

You disregard his message and finish reading the article. You roll your eyes as you close your computer and get up to put it on the hotel desk. As you’re walking back to bed, you take your phone from the end of the bed and put it on its charger, ready to go to bed.

You’re not sure how you manage to fall asleep that night as your mind swirls with unending thoughts.

When your alarm wakes you up at 6am the next day, you feel groggy, having slept very badly last night. Which was to be expected.

You get up and change while eating a protein bar before heading to the hotel gym: you needed to do something to get your energy up. Once you finish your workout, you head back to your room to get ready for the day.

When you get out of the shower, you open your computer and, having left the Daily Mail website open last night, you see a new article posted 2 minutes ago: Chris Evans and Lily James seen on a date in a London park.You groan loudly, closing your computer as you hear that your cell phone is receiving multiple texts.

You reach for your phone on the hotel desk and your eyes widen as you see your lock screen.

5 missed calls

12 messages

You open your Phone app seeing one call from Chris, two from your best friend, one from your brother and one from your mom.

You open the Messages app as a new message from your brother comes in.

will, 7:31am:

When did you break up with your boyfriend? And why didn’t you tell me?

you, 7:32am:

i didn’t

yet

will, 7:32am:

You know i’m gonna fucking murder him right?

You smile fondly at your brother’s concern, chuckling softly as you type your reply.

you, 7:33am:

as you should(:

You open the rest of your messages, mostly asking the same thing. You didn’t feel like talking about it anymore so, you ignore them until you get to your conversation with Chris.

chris💙, 5:22am:

Hey, I’m sure you’ve seen the articles by now.

I’m so sorry

Call me when you can, please. I really need to talk to you.

You bite your lip as you think about what to answer. You didn’t have the energy to deal with this right before your firm’s opening. Shaking your head, you lock your phone, putting it back on the desk, getting dressed.

As you get back to your hotel room, exhausted from your day, you hear your phone signal an incoming text for the millionth time today.

You sigh loudly: you knew it was Chris texting you again. You had been ignoring his texts all day because you didn’t want to get in a bad mood while you were opening the firm.

You put your purse and work bag on the floor, unlocking your phone. You open the conversation with Chris, scrolling through his messages.

chris💙, 6:15pm:

I’m leaving a bit earlier than I planned, I should be home tomorrow morning.

Are you back in Boston or are you gonna stay in LA?

You sigh, feeling guilty that you had been ignoring his texts all day. You start typing a reply, your finger hovering over the send button for a couple of seconds before clicking on it.

you, 6:17pm:

i’m still in san francisco i’m leaving tomorrow morning

As soon as your message goes through, you see the three dots pop up in the conversation.

chris💙, 6:17pm:

Oh my God, hi. Are you okay?

Can I call you?

You chew on your bottom lip: you really didn’t think he was going to answer that fast.

you, 6:18pm:

i’m about to take a shower then i’m gonna go to bed i’m really tired sorry

chris💙, 6:18pm:

Okay, I’m sorry

Good night

You groan loudly. You really didn’t know why you felt so guilty: he was the one running around with another woman. As you think about this, you realize that you didn’t really know who she was.

You shake your head at yourself as you pull up Google on your phone and look for her. You don’t even realize it but, 20 minutes later, you were now at the oldest post on her Instagram.

You curse at yourself, dropping your phone on your bed, and head to the shower.

You stay under the hot stream of the shower for at least an hour before you finally get out, toweling off.

You order some room service for dinner, settling down in front of a random show playing on the TV. After pushing your food around for half an hour, you sigh loudly, put the tray on the hotel desk and get under the covers before finally falling asleep.

You had not slept very well so you had been in a rush to leave the hotel and catch your flight to LAX in the morning. You were exhausted and hungry when you got to your shared LA home with Chris but there was no food in sight, considering that neither of you had been here in a couple of months.

As it was not too late in the day, you decide to take a nap and order some food after.

When you wake up a few hours later, the sun has already completely set and the house is pitch black. You rub the sleep out of your eyes and take your phone before heading to the living room to order some food.

As you enter the kitchen and are about to head to the living room, you hear a deep voice, “Hey, you’re up.”

Taken by surprise, you throw your phone in the direction of the sound and scream, “Holy shit!”

“Ow… What the fuck?”

You’re breathing heavily, clutching your chest as you turn on the kitchen lights, brightness illuminating the area as you see Chris holding the side of his head.

“Jesus Christ, Chris! You almost gave me a fucking heart attack!”

Chris rubs at his head as he looks towards you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Your heartbeat starts to slow down as you roll your eyes.

“What are you even doing here?”

Chris frowns and replies, “Well, you never told me where you were going to be but when I got back to Boston and you weren’t there, I assumed you were coming here.”

You groan silently, crossing your arms over your chest and raising your eyebrows,

“So, London seemed to be very fun.”

Chris shakes his head, looking up at the ceiling, before making eye contact with you, “I didn’t know that’s what the trip was about.”

You chuckle humorlessly, “Really, Chris? Since when do you go on trips, not knowing what they’re about?”

Chris exhales loudly, taking a couple of steps towards you, “I promise that I didn’t know. Megan planned everything and just sent me the info.”

You snort loudly, rolling your eyes. Chris frowns before asking, “What?”

“Megan, Chris? Really? She fucking hates me, of course she would pull a stunt like this.”

Chris frowns again, shaking his head, “What are you talking about? She doesn’t hate you.”

You laugh, this time, actually finding this funny, “Chris, she literally called me a walking disaster.”

Chris struggles to find an answer to that: he knew that Megan used this exact kind of formulation so he couldn’t deny it.

“And you know what? It’s fine. Maybe you really should be dating her instead of me.”

Chris’ face contorts in a mix of hurt and anger, “Why the fuck would you say something like that?”

“Because it’s true, Chris. She’s better for you. She’s actually your age, not a fucking child compared to you. She can give you the things you want from life that I can’t. Maybe it’s better that way.”

“What way?”

You shrug your shoulders, looking at your feet, mumbling, “If we weren’t together.”

Chris scoffs, “You literally have to be kidding me.”

Chris takes large steps, making his way towards you and takes your chin in his hand, forcing you to look at him.

“Y/N, I’ve told you before and I will tell you again. I do not give a shit about your age. And I thought you didn’t either. So, what’s the problem here?”

You bite your bottom lip nervously, “Because what if what Megan said is true? I mean… If people find out that we’re dating, the shit talking would never stop. I can’t do that to you.”

Chris sighs, enveloping you in a hug.

“Baby, it doesn’t matter. None of it matters if we’re not together.”

He lets you go, stroking your cheek, “You’re it for me. There is no one better for me than you. And no one is going to take that away from us. Not you. Not Megan. And certainly not my fans. If they love me as much as they say they do, then they’ll respect you.”

You chuckle slightly, “Chris, I don’t know what kind of fantasy you live in, but in real life, that’s not how things go.”

“Okay, but who cares? There’s two people in this relationship, you and me. Not you, me, Megan and my fans.”

You scoff, mumbling, “Yeah, tell Megan that.”

“I will. The same goes for her. I didn’t know she actually meant those things about you and I’ll tell her that she needs to knock that shit off.”

You sigh, nodding slightly, “Okay.”

“And, baby, I’m sorry.”

You furrow your brows, trying to understand, “I never should have agreed to Megan’s little plan thing. But, most importantly, I should have told you as soon as I knew. It’s just that I kinda owed Lily a favor and she needed this. But it doesn’t erase the fact that I should have been honest with you and I’m sorry I wasn’t.”

You sigh, “I know, it’s okay. I knew this kind of thing could happen when I decided to be with you, and I overreacted a bit so I’m sorry too. I knew it wasn’t true and I should have asked you about it instead of ignoring you. I just… couldn’t let go of the fact that maybe you should be with her.”

Chris shakes his head, “I shouldn’t. And I never will be.”

Chris laughs a bit before continuing, “Sorry, but you’ll have to try harder to get rid of me.”

You laugh loudly, throwing your head back. Looking back at Chris, you smile warmly before hugging him,

“I love you, Chris. Like, a lot.”

Chris chuckles, squeezing you tighter, “I love you too.”

#chris evans #chris evans x black!reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans fanfic #chris evans x black reader #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x woc #chris evans fanfictions #chris evans fanfics

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1plus1kiyoomi · 3 years

Text

Sakusa’s Best Gift

: fluff, domestic, dad!sakusa, dad!sakusa

a/n: happy birthday to my mans!! 🥳❤️

Sakusa sighs heavily as he slings the bag over his shoulder. He glances at his watch and frowns. It’s 30 minutes after 10PM. He only has an hour and a half left to celebrate his birthday. If it wasn’t for the damn training that took over his whole day, he would have spent his day with you and your daughter.

Sakusa never even liked celebrating, but your daughter was so excited about his birthday. She rambled all night about how she would make it the happiest birthday of his life. She even planned a surprise for him, which he knows all about, because the child wasn’t particularly good at whispering and keeping secrets.

Sakusa knows about the cake your daughter iced herself. He knows about the dried peaches that she made for him. He knows about the card she wrote for him. But her plans are all ruined because of a training he could have skipped, but he didn’t want to. He regrets making that choice.

After a quick drive to your house, Sakusa checks the time before getting out of his car. A little over 11PM. It’s still his birthday. He silently wishes that you are still awake so at least he can spend the remaining time of his day with you. He enters the house and sees how dark the hallway is, the only light provided is the one from the kitchen.

“They must be asleep...” Sakusa frowns. He stalks to your room and finds your sleeping figure tucked under the bed. He drops his bag on the floor quietly before sitting on the foam. He pulls his mask down and plants a kiss on your forehead, mouthing a soft ‘I love you.’

The athlete changes into his pajamas and just when he’s about to join you in bed, the door opens.

“Papa?” A small voice speaks and the door opens wider. Sakusa smiles at sight. His little girl in a black Jackal pajama set, that was specially made for her given by the team. Her small hand rubs on her eye, the other clutching on her her fuzzy blanket.

Sakusa walks over to her and tries to pick her up, but she avoids his hold and gets out of the room. He follows after her small figure. “Hey, baby. Why are you still awake?”

She goes to the kitchen and pulls the fridge handle with all her might, the blanket pooling on her ankles. Sakusa watches her in confusion and amusement. The refrigerator door finally opens and she points at a box. She looks up to him with dog eyes. “Papa, help...”

“Oh, sorry,” Sakusa chuckles. He was so amused of her actions he forgot to help her. He takes the box from her and places it on the dining table. “What’s this?”

“Don’t open it yet!” Your daughter scolds. She runs out of the kitchen and ventures back to her room. Not long after, the small girl comes back quickly with a big box in her arms. She checks on the digital wall clock and sighs in relief.

“What’s that?” Sakusa asks her and she climbs on the dining chair, the box she was bringing now on the table.

“Happy birthday, papa!” She cheers, taking the lid off the first box. There’s a cake inside covered by pink icing and topped by sliced peaches, a lot of sprinkles too. “I love you!”

Sakusa hugs her tightly, lowering his body to kiss her cheek. “Thank you, baby. I love you too.”

“I waited for you to come home!” She proudly tells him, hugging him back. “I made you a gift! Open it! Open it!” He opens the gift as she says. It’s a scrapbook with a bracelet that he can tell she made herself from the mismatched beads. There’s also a bottle of alcohol that is designed with car and rainbow stickers. A

“I like it. Thank you.” He smiles at her, and she returns the favor, flashing her small pearly teeth at Sakusa. “Let’s go to sleep. It’s late.”

“No! No! It’s still your birthday. We have to celebrate it until that clock turns 1 and 2!” His daughter argues, pointing at the clock.

“We can celebrate it tomorrow.” He picks her up from the chair despite her whines, but she eventually gives in to her sleepiness. As the father and daughter reach your shared bedroom, she’s already fast asleep, too fast for someone who was jumping like a bunny a few seconds ago.

“Omi?” You sit up from the bed, hand slowly rubbing on your eye. Sakusa can not help but smile. You and your daughter act way too much similarly. No wonder why he loves her the way he loves you.

Sakusa lays your daughter in the middle of the bed before slowly pushing your should back down to the bed. “Go back sleep.”

“But your birthd-”

“Shh... no wonder why our daughter is so excited about my birthday. We can celebrate it tomorrow.” He pecks you on your lips and you nod, wrapping your arms around your child before closing your eyes and drifting back to sleep.

After making sure that the two of you are asleep, Sakusa gets out of the room to put back the boxes on the table back to its proper places. He puts the cake box back into the fridge first, after snapping a photo of course. He would never forget to take a picture of his daughter’s masterpiece.

Out of curiosity, Sakusa picks up the scrapbook and flips through it. It’s just pictures of him when he was a child up to now. He takes a mental note to call his mother, because other than her who else would give you access to such embarrassing pictures? He stops on a page, seeing his baby picture with his parents, and a small note you wrote at the side.

Don’t forget to thank your parents for giving life to you. Because I surely am thankful to them for giving birth to you. ❤️

Sakusa lets out a snicker. “So cheesy.” He smiles at your note nonetheless. On the next page was him as a baby and your daughter months after her birth. The resemblance is uncanny. She surely is her daughter. He laughs at your written note at the side.

I carry her for nine months and go through so much pain to push her out, but she still ended up looking like you! That’s so unfair! But it’s okay as well. At least I get to see a little you everyday.

He stops on a page with a picture of only the two of you back in high school. Sakusa is sure that the picture was taken during his 18th birthday. In the photo, he was holding on to a cake you baked, while you were hugging him by the waist. He never understood what was so happy about birthdays until that day. He doesn’t forget to read the note.

Your first birthday that we spent together. Komori and I had a hard time planning it because you didn’t want to celebrate it, but we know you had a great time that day. And we did it for the first time that day 😳

Sakusa chokes at his own saliva after reading the last sentence. He clears his throat and continues to skim through the book. At the very last page is a picture of the three of you together. It’s a simple picture but it’s Sakusa’s favorite. The three of you were in bed, your daughter’s arms wrapped around his neck, while you are seated between his legs. One of his hands was on your growing belly, and the other is on the back of your daughter’s back. The note on the side undoubtedly makes his heart swell in happiness and his lips curl into a big smile.

Thank you for being born in this world.

And below your handwriting is your daughter’s.

We love you so much.

Before the clock strikes 12, he opens his phone and posts a picture of you and your daughter in his Instagram, his first ever post in his account. He’s a private person, but everyone deserves to see the two of you— the best gift ever given to him.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #hq x reader #sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #haikyuu sakusa #hq imagines #sakusa kiyoomi fluff #sakusa scenarios #sakusa imagines #sakusa fluff

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cotncandyboifics · 3 years

Text

Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?

AO3 Link

My Main Masterpost

Pairing(s): Romantic Dukexiety

Word count: 6.9k (Remus would be proud)

Story summary: A pseudo-songfic; 5 times Remus called Virgil high, and one time Virgil called Remus high.

Content Warning: Marijuana, Characters high on Marijuana, Description of the experience of being high on marijuana, Food, descriptions of eating, descriptions of preparing food, vague anxiety descriptions, insomnia, cursing, Remus Being Remus,(let me know if i missed anything please!)

Author notes: this is just. dorky fluff stuff. Idek lol. Enjoy

...

Virgil grimaced vaguely at his phone, which had begun to buzz periodically. More specifically; Virgil was glaring at the displayed name at the top of the screen, communicating who was currently calling him.

TrashMan 42069 is calling...

Remus never called Virgil. As in... never never. And even if he did, it was 7 am; Virgil sincerely doubted that Remus I-wake-up-at-2-pm-every-day Prince had ever been awake at this time of morning in his life.

The call didn't stop after 5 buzzes, and so Virgil picked his phone up, hurriedly accepting the call and pressing the phone to his face.

"uuum, hiiii...." Remus drawled from the other end of the line. Virgil scoffed under his breath. "I'll have a.... extra large cheese pizza, and another extra large with... extra anchovies...." Remus continued. Virgil genuinely couldn't tell whether Remus thought he was actually talking to a Pizza parlor employee or not, but more pertinently, he was very much disconcerted by the way Remus was acting. He had half a mind to ask if he'd hit his head on something, but... Virgil was gradually growing used to Remus' antics, and every time he'd asked out of his own anxieties in the past, Remus had been More Than Fine. He pushed his nerviness aside with a heavy sigh.

"Re, what are you doing?" his voice came out a bit husky, and Virgil realized this was the first time he'd spoken that day.

Remus didn't reply for a few long moments. Of course, this had exactly nothing to do with the fact that he was having a gay panic over the sound of Virgil's morning voice, which - again - was decidedly not happening.

"Haay Virge," Remus scarcely strung his words together, and they fell on top of each other as they rolled off his tongue in a quite klutzy fashion. It was almost soothing, in its way. "I thought if I pretended that you... that I was... that I thought you were a pizza man, then I'd forget to do... why I called you." Remus scrunched his nose to himself, taking his time to find his words, but eventually he got there. Virgil had been struck with realization part way through Remus' rambling, and was now scowling as if Remus could hear his facial expression through the phone.

"Remus, are you seriously high right now?" Virgil hissed.

"I mean... I think so... I definitely remember..." he pointedly enunciated each syllable of 'definitely remember,' before seemingly getting distracted by his thoughts. Virgil cleared his throat to prompt him. "...uhhhh... I don't wanna call you. Why did I... think that was...good." Virgil couldn't tell if Remus was talking to himself or not.

"Dude, go take a shower and... like, drink some water or something. I'll see you at work later. Please come in a better mental state than you're in now." Virgil hung up, setting his phone back down on his desk face-down, resuming his script read-through of the next production being put on at the theater he worked for.

Several hours later, Virgil was adjusting a few bolts on a light fixture, one of many all lined up on the long bar that he'd lowered from the fly deck earlier. He and Remus were stage technicians, and had both worked at this theater together for nearly two years now.

Remus burst through the set of doors off stage left, arms wide and his custom green tool belt slung over one shoulder like a sash. He bowed a bit dramatically to the stage and everyone on it (which, at the moment, was only Virgil; they were the only two in the theater, since Virgil regularly showed up early and Remus was here early too for once for... some reason) before stepping in long strides toward a burnt out light fixture, a few feet away from Virgil.

"You good?" Virgil murmured, feigning intense focus on a particular few wires. Remus had learned by now that Virgil was a man of few words and many thoughts; there was always a lot more to what he was saying than the small string of words he poured out.

"Heh. Sorry about that. I woke up in a funk, and though a wake and bake might... help. Didn't anticipate calling... you, though." he rubbed the back of his neck a bit sheepishly, focusing his line of sight on the company logo branded into the lighting fixture. "Can't say it won't happen again though! If I call you when I'm that stoned it means I really, really like you," Remus waggled his eyebrows, winking (specifically to highlight his sarcasm - a wink was a telltale sign that Remus' words were entirely a joke) at an utterly deadpan Virgil.

"Sure." Virgil paused for a moment. "Why're you here so early though?"

"Huh?" Remus replied, finishing twisting the bulb out of the fixture before looking up at Virgil, who was now presenting his phone screen to Remus, showing him the time. "Damn! High me can get punctuality! I thought it was three, not two... I was wondering why you were the only one here!" Remus had resumed his adjusting of the light fixture, hunkered over and partially upside down in a way that made Virgil's stomach churn. He only grunted in reply.

...

A recent sound design project had Virgil and Remus talking a lot more than usual - nearly every day. Virgil thought Remus would be a massive pain in the ass to work with, but he was a surprisingly diligent project partner. His ideas were often... eccentric, and at times too far-fetched, but they served as an excellent foundation. They clashed well with Virgil's taste and general groundedness (by extension, a minuscule helping of insecurity) that he brought to the table. They'd worked together over discord for the last few days, voice chatting and messaging through brainstorming sessions and developing their project.

It was 5pm, and Virgil was just beginning chopping some potatoes for a mash dinner when a message notification popped up on his phone.

TrashMan 42069 im tiiiired. gotta get up early to head into the theater, can we work tmrw mornin instead of tn ? wanna have an early night

Virgil smirked to himself, typing out a response.

since when do you sleep before 1am

but like, go off ig

see ya in the ams

Remus never responded, and Virgil resumed his chopping, and soon was plopping the potato portions into a pre-simmering pot.

Night arrived and fell entirely, leaving Virgil alone with his thoughts in bed, staring at the ceiling desperately as if it would put him to sleep. His bouts of insomnia made for horrible company, and yet another reminder of just how awfully lonely he truly was. He rolled onto his side, facing his bedside table just as his phone lit up and started buzzing.

Remus. Again. Odd. And it was... 11pm, according to the bleary text in the top corner of Virgil's phone screen. Not too bad, I might get to sleep by 2, Virgil noted to himself. He accepted the call before his drowsy brain could think through the decision.

"Shit, hi," Remus breathed. The usual sharp edge of his brash voice was gone, leaving soft, rolling words in its wake. Virgil sighed to himself.

"Hi."

"Did I awaken you from the sleep? I didn't think you'd answer..." Virgil recognized the drawl in Remus' voice then, but he didn't mind it so much. He was too tired to be grumpy about this.

"No, I couldn't sleep. I thought you were having an early night?" Virgil ran his fingers through his hair, rolling back onto his back.

"Ah... right... I told you that..." Remus spoke slowly, as if carrying each word, each syllable the way a mother carries her child. Virgil smiled softly into the darkness. "I was feeling like shit, so... I was just gonna, toke up. Knew I... wouldn't be able to... do any of the project... like this."

"Gotcha," Virgil mumbled. He had closed his eyes, letting himself ease into the sound of Remus' uncharacteristically gentle voice.

Remus started humming on the other end of the line, and that only proved to relax Virgil more. He felt himself grow heavy in the bed, limbs going slack and muscles and tendons untensing.

"Are you still alive?" Remus spoke suddenly. Virgil hummed.

"Yeah, I think so," Virgil said. "Your humming is putting me to sleep," he laughed lightly. Remus grew silent. "Uh, that's not a bad thing," Virgil resolved, "I have a hard time... sleeping, sometimes. Nothing usually helps. That's... uh, helping. If you wanna keep... humming, or talking..." As he spoke, Virgil realized just how weird what he was saying - what he was asking for - truly was. He cleared his throat. "Nevermind."

"I have nothing better to do right now, I can hum you to sleep, Virge," Remus' careful voice replied, ever so slowly. "If that's... what... you meant."

"Um," Virgil chewed on his hoodie sleeve absent-mindedly. "Yeah," he finally huffed, "I'd... like that."

Virgil anticipated a lot more awkwardness at this entire situation from Remus. But Remus was a generally oblivious person to awkwardness, seemingly especially so when he was stoned. He almost immediately resumed his humming, and Virgil was out like a light less than ten minutes later.

"Virgie? Did you go... fall into the sleep?" Remus asked after a while. When he was met with silence other than subtle, even breaths, he smiled to himself. He'd helped someone, even while he was like this. He truly didn't want to be doing anything else right now, so he just kept humming into the phone for a while. Maybe it'll help Virgil sleep even better.

The thoughts that an intoxicated mind produces truly are an enigma.

...

Remus and Virgil's sound design project was one of three being proposed to the directors and head technicians for the next production. The three were created as presentations, just the general idea of the design put together so that the one chosen of the three could be put into proper production by the entire sound team.

Virgil's and Remus' won.

They celebrated by indulging in a pizza lunch together before they were to head into work. A large, half pepperoni and half anchovies.

"Are those things actually good, or do you just eat them because everyone else thinks they're gross?" Virgil asked, chasing the floppy end of his next slice with his mouth. Remus grinned with a glint in his eye that Virgil knew all too well; it meant one thing, and one thing only. Mischief.

"Whah if ih's bof?" Remus spoke through his mouthful of anchovy pizza. Virgil scrunched his nose, punching Remus in the shoulder.

"Chew your food and don't talk with your mouth full, that's hecka nasty dude," Virgil laughed. Remus rolled his eyes in a very unconvincing manner, considering he was still smiling.

"Yef, mom," Remus spoke again through his unfinished mouthful. Virgil shoulder bumped him, and finally took the first bite of his next slice.

Not a week later, Virgil woke up rather late. Well, late for him; around 7am. He slapped a hand to his forehead, sitting up a little too fast. He set his hands on the bed beside himself to try and fight the onset of dizziness. After a few deep breaths and shaking his head and hair out, he reached for his phone.

No notifications, other than 2 missed calls from Remus, at 3:12am. Virgil sighed, laughing to himself slightly. He opened his messaging app.

why do u only call me when ur high lmao

...

Virgil was at the grocery store, milling through the dairy aisle, when his phone started buzzing in his pocket. He was surprised to see Remus' contact as the displayed caller ID, although not that surprised. Remus had called Virgil a few times while he wasn't high since Virgil had sent that message, usually to discuss theater-related things. Though, it wasn't like him to call at 8 in the morning. Virgil pressed the answer button, bringing the phone to his ear.

"Hey Re, what's up?" Virgil said as he started checking the expiration dates on a few cartons of heavy whipping cream.

"Virgieee... Are you walking around with no shoes on?" Remus' voice was calm and subdued.

"Uh-" Virgil was so caught off guard by the question -and the petname- that he literally looked down at his feet to check. Nope, he'd definitely put on his black high tops that morning. "No? I'm at the grocery store. Wh... what?"

"I saw someone," Remus blurted, speaking slowly. Oh, right. Virgil's lips tightened into a annoyed-and-disappointed expression. Of course he's just baked again. "They looked like you, kinda... no purple hair... but jacket- or, i mean, sweater... uhhhm, no... what's it called?"

"My hoodie?" Virgil offered, glancing down at his purple patchwork hoodie.

"Yeah, yeah, that," Remus drew in a long heavy breath. "they had a hoodie." Remus stopped then, as if awaiting Virgil's explanation expectantly. Virgil scoffed.

"So. You saw someone walking around with no shoes on, who looked kind of like me only based on the fact that they were wearing a hoodie?" Virgil recited.

"Well, yeah!" Remus said as if offended that Virgil needed to ask. "They were black shoes, and... and the hoodie was... just like your black plaid one."

"The one that I like... never wear? How do you even... have you even seen me wear that?" Virgil didn't know why he was asking; he must have if he knew of it.

"You did," Remus started slowly, "one time. The pizza time. Said your other one was dirty." Remus spoke like a small child who was being scolded and felt really bad for what they'd done. "And I thought... maybe you'd... dyed your hair back. I don't know why." Virgil sighed.

"Okay? Well, I promise I have my shoes on, and my hair is still purple, and I'm not wearing that hoodie today. I'm at the grocery store right now." Virgil's voice was harsh and quick, and he immediately felt guilt drop into his stomach like a brick. He had no real reason to be this cross with Remus... he was just a bit cranky that morning. "Can I... pick you up anything while I'm here?" Virgil immediately cringed at his attempt at amendment. What a weird thing to say-

"Ooh! Are you at Trader Joe's?" Remus' voice had a newfound excitement. Virgil smiled to himself, glad that his fumbled recovery wasn't really very fumbled, thanks to Remus'... Remus-y-ness. "They have these chocolate truffles that are soooo good..."

Remus gave moderately incoherent directions to where the truffles were shelved, though Virgil knew his way around the store enough that it didn't matter. After a few minutes, he came upon a small red carboard box with cursive gold lettering and a picture of a chocolate truffle on the front.

"Found them. I... text me your address? I can be over in... well, soon. I guess I don't know where you live." Virgil invited himself over extremely awkwardly.

"You got it, sunshine! See you soon," Remus' tone was a lot lighter and he spoke more quickly and sharply, as he did when he wasn't stoned out of his mind. Perhaps the prospect of having his favorite chocolate truffles had granted him some mental clarity.

The call ended, and moments later, two texts came through from Remus. The first was an address, as promised. The second left Virgil with a familiar sense of blind confusion.

ill start heating the milk

Virgil slid his phone back into his pocket, humming to himself. He'd gotten all the items on his grocery list already, so he headed to checkout. Soon after, he was loading a couple bags into the back seat of his car, setting the two boxes of truffles for Remus on the passenger seat as he strapped in.

The drive was surprisingly short to Remus'; less than ten minutes. He triple checked the address when he pulled up to a three story Victorian house, three doors lined up at the top of a set of marble steps.

He took a breath or two, staring down at the boxes of truffles in his hands and reassessing his situation. You're standing in front of Remus' house like a massive dork because you felt bad for getting annoyed at him on the phone. You decided completely on a whim to bring him some chocolate - of all things, but at least he's the one who specifically asked for it - and show up to his house???? his house. Yeah, this totally isn't weird at all.

Virgil took the steps two at a time, ringing the doorbell at the door farthest to the right. He heard the chime from inside, followed shortly by a shrill screech. A few moments later, there was stomping sounds, and Remus came into view through the window on the door, trampling down the stairs like an eight year old rushing to an ice cream truck. He made it to the door, unlocking it and flinging it open.

"VIRGIE!" Remus yelped, looking ready to bear hug Virgil, but was quickly distracted into marveling over the boxes of truffles Virgil was clinging to his chest. "You bought two!? Gods, this is better than Christmas! Get in here," Remus stepped behind the door, allowing Virgil to step inside.

"Did you... screech, a minute ago?" Virgil asked, looking around. He and Remus were standing in what served as a tiny, tiny foyer, a small rectangle of flooring that gave direct way to a rather large flight of wooden stairs. Virgil could see a shoe cubby and coat rack at the top of the steps, and started stepping up them cautiously as Remus closed the door behind him.

"Yeah. People usually can't hear if I say words, like 'COMING!', so I just kinda... scream. It works!" Remus was tromping up the steps a few stairs below him, and Virgil quickened his pace.

"Got it..."

Virgil slipped his shoes off at the top, stuffing them in the cubby. "See? Shoes," he gestured to the shoes now fit snug in one of the cubbies. Remus smiled a bit too wide, nodding his head harshly. "I also don't have that hoodie on today," Virgil spread his arms, displaying his usual patchwork hoodie.

"I'm mainly glad your hair is still purple. It looks h- I mean, I like it." Remus coughed slightly to himself before stepping around Virgil, starting to sock-slide down the hardwood floor hall. "Kitchen's through here! The milk should be ready!"

Virgil laughed to himself, stepping into the hall to follow Remus' trail. He came upon a slightly ajar door, and seeing a glimpse of a stovetop, he slid into the room.

"I also made some whipped cream!" Remus gestured behind himself at a bowl of whipped cream on the counter as he stirred at a simmering pot of milk.

"What's... what's it for?" Virgil asked slowly, feeling like he missed something entirely.

"Oh! Right," Remus seemed to realize he hadn't filled Virgil in. "The truffles are so frickin good by themselves, but I discovered - sort of by accident, don't worry about it - that they make the best hot chocolate. And I... well, I figured we could have some!" Remus spun around at the last part, saucer of milk in hand and smiling a bit maniacally at Virgil. He stepped over to the counter where there were two mugs beside the bowl of whipped cream. "Bring them things on over here. This show can't go on without the starring role."

Virgil shuffled over to Remus, setting the truffles down beside the whipped cream bowls. He felt the need to speak, but couldn't think of any suitable words.

"one or two? I usually do two, I like mine real rich," Remus said, tearing open one of the boxes of truffles.

"Two," Virgil coughed. Remus smiled brightly at him again.

Virgil observed Remus' process. He plopped two truffles into the bottom of each mug - in the process, popping one into his mouth and offering another to Virgil, who accepted - before pouring the steaming milk over them, nearly to the brim of both mugs. Virgil hadn't expected the truffles to float, but there were two bobbing brown balls rolling around on the surface of the steaming milk in each mug. Remus retrieved a small spoon, stirring gingerly as the truffles rapidly shrunk and dissipated into the darkening milk.

"Will you grab the chocolate syrup? It's in the door of the fridge," Remus commented, beginning to spoon whipped cream onto the surface of the hot chocolate. "Oh, and- nevermind, I got it." Remus reached into a drawer beside him, pulling out a small cheese grater.

Virgil returned with the chocolate syrup, setting it beside Remus' arm.

"Check this out," Remus said, pulling another truffle from the box. He started grating it over the whipped cream dollops, and it gently snowed chocolate shavings. "Isn't it pretty?" Remus glanced at Virgil as he switched mugs.

"Yeah," Virgil breathed, watching the little flakes fall and settle on the surface of the whipped cream.

Virgil felt himself becoming infinitely more relaxed and less anxious the longer he basked in Remus' presence. It had always been this way with him, although maybe it was slightly amplified now that they were alone. He leaned himself on Remus, chin on his shoulder. Remus didn't react, other than softening his movements significantly, as though he were afraid he'd scare Virgil away.

"Yes, yes, yes! Man, this is the good stuff!" Remus exclaimed as he squirted a trail of chocolate syrup over the flakey rain on the whipped cream mountains. Virgil chuckled, reaching for the mug nearest him. "Hey! Not yet!" Remus batted his hand away lightly.

"What else could you possibly want on hot chocolate? Come on, it's getting cold," Virgil whined. Remus only smirked.

"Pantry, top shelf, you'll know it when you see it," He spoke, glancing at the cupboard door a few paces away. Virgil stepped toward the pantry cautiously, opening the door slowly. There, presented proudly on the top shelf, was a bag of mini marshmallows.

"Oh fuck yeah," Virgil reached up, realizing he was far too short to reach the bag. "Uh, one sec," he said, stepping entirely into the pantry, reaching up with all his might. Even stretching as far as he could, he barely reached the base of the top shelf. Remus chuckled from over by the mugs.

"Here, let me help." Remus came up behind him, making to reach over Virgil's head just as Virgil tried to step out of the pantry and out of Remus' way. Virgil essentially walked right into Remus' chest, face to face with his stubbled Adam's apple as he reached for the mallows easily.

Virgil was frozen in place, feeling his face grow hot. Remus looked down at him, suddenly realizing their physical predicament.

"Shit! Sorry!" Remus stepped back, mallows in hand, giving Virgil more than enough room to step out.

"s'fine, don't worry," Virgil mumbled, cheeks red and staring wide-eyed at the floor. Remus laughed a bit nervously, stepping back over to the mugs and beckoning for Virgil to follow.

Once their mugs were properly marshmallow'd (although not s'more'd; neither wanted to go full Ned Flanders on this rainy Saturday afternoon) Remus led Virgil out of the kitchen and further down the hall, to the door at the end which opened up into Remus' bedroom.

Virgil didn't know what he was expecting Remus' personal living space to look like, but whatever it was it wasn't this. There was a very cozy-looking bed that took up most of the floorspace, and a very soft patterned rug at the foot. Against the far wall, beside a wide windowsill, sat an equally cozy-looking loveseat. There were blankets and pillows absolutely everywhere, crowding the loveseat, covering the bed and turning the windowsill into a cozy sitting nook. There was no other furniture, aside from a rustic-looking wooden bedside table that matched a small, overstuffed bookshelf. The walls were entirely covered from floor to ceiling with posters, art pieces, the like; but more than anything, sketches. Scores upon scores of sketches covered every wall, pinned up with colorful tacks and a certain few of them connected to others with small segments of colored string. As well, strung up on some of the hardier tacks were a few strings of fairy lights. Those, plus the salt lamp set on the bedside table made for some extremely lovely mood lighting.

"Woah," was all Virgil could say as he looked around in wonder.

"This is where the magic happens," Remus shoulder shimmied, sidling around Virgil to sit cross-legged on his bed, beginning to nurse his cocoa as he set down the boxes of truffles. Apparently they were far too precious to keep in the kitchen, where Remus' brother could very well steal them.

"Yeah..." Virgil stepped up to a particularly large sketch, one whose tack was connected with string to several others. Something occurred to him. "Are these..." He gestured vaguely at the walls, "are these all yours?"

"All the sketches, yeah," Remus breathed, hiding behind his mug as he took a large sip. He watched Virgil over the brim as the man stared in complete awe.

"That's..." Virgil couldn't think of the right words, and so drew a large sip of his own cocoa. Remus was right, the truffles made for an incredible hot chocolate. He sighed slightly, smiling to himself.

Remus finished his cocoa, tilting his head back to slurp at the residue and remaining whipped cream as he leaned back on his bed slightly. Virgil smirked behind his own mug, licking at his whipped cream.

Remus set his mug beside the salt lamp on his bedside table, beckoning for Virgil to sit with him on the bed. Virgil did, cross-legged an leaning against a pillow that was propped against the wall. He glanced to the windowsill nook.

"You got something of a view," He murmured, craning his neck slightly to see out the window. Remus giggled.

"Yeah! That's where I saw mx. no-shoes earlier." He smiled at Virgil giddily.

"Oh, I see." Virgil smiled back. "Well, I'm here now, purple hair and truffles in the complete package," he spread his arms slightly, and Remus' smile turned into a full grin. He retrieved a truffle from the open box and popped it into his mouth, then throwing a second one at Virgil. It hit him in the chest, and he picked it up, starting to gnaw at it. "You were right, these are super fricking good," Virgil mentioned, taking another large gulp of his cocoa.

"I know right!? Where have you been all my life, beloved truffles," he picked up the unopened box and held it high in one hand, beginning to serenade it. Virgil laughed at him, slapping him on the arm.

"You're a massive dork."

Remus' eyes glinted. "Well I-" He stopped short, the glint disappearing as soon as it returned. Virgil watched his face. No, no dick jokes right now. He gulped and cleared his throat, retracting his arm and pulling out another two truffles from the other box. He held one of them out to Virgil on the palm of his hand. Virgil took it carefully, holding it between his fingers as he took the final sip of his own cocoa.

"Here," Remus reached his empty hand out to take Virgil's mug, setting it beside his own behind them on the bedside table. Remus resumed chewing his truffle, watching the comforter shift with his weight as he leaned back and forth slightly.

"Can I?" Virgil pointed to a few more sketches over the head of the bed. Remus nodded. Virgil got up onto his knees, nearly pressing his chest into the wall as he looked at the many sketches.

Remus got up onto his knees too, sort of knee-waddling over to Virgil's side. Virgil's eyes continued scanning the sketches before they fell onto a particularly familiar looking one. His breath caught in his chest. He reached up to it, tracing the familiar purple plaid of his very own patchwork hoodie. Remus cleared his throat from beside him.

They both spoke at the same time.

"Um, you should probably know that-"

"Remus, I wanted to tell you-"

Virgil turned to look at Remus then, and belatedly realized just how close together they were. Remus' lips were pursed, and Virgil could see that he was chewing at the inside corner of his mouth.

Virgil drew in a breath to speak as Remus moved slightly closer. Pursing his lips shut, he changed his mind, deciding to take a risk.

He surged forward suddenly, shutting his eyes. Remus met him in the middle, and just like that, they were kissing.

It was soft and still at first, lips pressed firmly into each other's. Remus reached one hand up, gently cupping Virgil's cheek.

Virgil pulled back suddenly, but Remus' hand didn't leave his cheek. "I-I'm sorry, I really should've- asked- I meant to say things, i mean, before-" He stopped as Remus set his other hand on Virgil's waist. His face looked incredibly soft and gentle, lips parted slightly as he looked at Virgil like he'd hung the moon.

Virgil intertwined his fingers on the back of Remus' neck, and Remus pulled Virgil back into the kiss.

...

two days later, Virgil was up late again, unable to push himself into unconsciousness. His body was restless even if his mind was exhausted - or perhaps it was the other way around, his mind restless and his body exhausted? He really couldn't tell.

It was nearing 3am, and he was sitting curled in on himself, hugging his knees as he watched the stars out his window. His phone, face-down on the bed beside him, began buzzing.

He tilted his head, sighing as he fought an oncoming wave of exhaustion. He picked up the phone, flipping it to see the caller ID, although part of him hoped knew who it would be.

He pressed the answer button, bringing the phone to his ear.

"Hey, Remus."

He heard Remus gasp on the other end of the line, before murmuring a small "hi."

"I... are you not sleeping good tonight?" Remus' curious and confounded expression was almost palpable through the phone. Virgil smiled lazily, recognizing Remus' demeanor immediately.

"No, I'm not, but that's okay. The stars are pretty tonight." Virgil paused, scratching at his chin a bit. "Are you stoned again?"

A long pause. "Yeah," Remus blurted. "Sorry I... I nodded, but then, I realized... you can't see me."

Virgil smiled to himself again. "It's okay."

A long, comfortable silence followed. Virgil was too tired to feel the obligatory need to make conversation, especially with Remus. He'd be a fool to expect any awkwardness after a make out session with the spontaneous blob that is Remus, but he'd still been nervous to see or speak with him again. That all melted away now though, exhaustion and vague contentment taking its place.

"Virgie - uh, Virgil?" Remus piped up after a while, rousing Virgil from his trance.

"Yeah?"

"Do you, remember..." Remus trailed off, and didn't speak for long enough that Virgil almost responded to prompt him. "Did you come to my house, and also, kiss me, or was that a dream?" Even through his stoned lilt, Remus spoke a bit quickly, like he was trying to shove the words out of his mouth before he could change his mind.

Virgil chuckled. "That wasn't a dream, Remus. Yes, I remember." I don't think I could forget it if i wanted to tried.

"Oh." Virgil could hear the smile in Remus' voice. "Can we- I mean, do you want to, uh, do it again? Some time?" he didn't sound hesitant, no; just hopeful, and perhaps as though he felt like he needed to be excessively gentle. It was the sweetest tone Virgil had ever heard.

"I'd like that," Virgil smiled.

Remus sigh-laughed on the other end of the line, and Virgil's smile grew. "Cool," Remus said almost under his breath.

Virgil didn't do it consciously, but a big, loud yawn decided to worm its way out of him at that moment.

"Are you sleepy Virgie?" Remus asked in a strange partial baby voice. Virgil snorted at him.

"I'm literally always tired, so if the answer was no, that would be more concerning," Virgil quipped, but his voice sounded spent. Remus giggled a little.

"Can I hum to you?" Remus asked, smile still discernable in his tone. Virgil felt something warm spark in his chest, like a lighter being flicked and lit.

"I'd like that a lot, too," Virgil murmured, curling up beneath his covers as Remus started to hum.

He was out like a light in less than 5 minutes.

And if Remus stayed on the line for another half hour or so, humming to him and listening to his even breaths, who was to know?

...

Virgil felt like an idiot.

That wasn't an entirely rare feeling to him, but this particular time was different.

Despite his general edginess and rebel-against-society vibe, Virgil had never touched a drop of alcohol or gone near any intoxicating substance in his life. Until today.

He'd been Remus' boyfriend for almost three months now, and it was everything he could have hoped; haphazard night trips to convenience stores that ended in oddly romantic motorcycle rides, the odd gestures Remus's... eccentric mind came up with, and Virgil was in dire need of more hoodies he could let Remus steal. All this, but Virgil was still Virgil. He still had his anxiety disorder, he still dealt with insomnia. Though, sleeping in Remus' arms was proving an impressively effective remedy to the latter.

So, when Remus suggested Virgil look into the medical benefits of marijuana in regards to both anxiety and insomnia, Virgil was... intrigued, to say the least.

He did find a lot of supporting evidence through his research, and... well, he thought, what the hell, right? If Remus smokes it pretty much every day, and if this many articles are claiming its reliability... what harm would it do to try?

So here he was, sitting on his couch, having taken a couple of edibles, waiting for the high to hit him. His hand ghosted over his jean pocket, assuring himself that his phone was there in case he needed to call 911 or something. He was trying to do breathing exercises to maintain some sort of calm, but sitting still wasn't his strong suit.

He'd chosen edibles since he didn't want to have to deal with the whole... smoke and coughing side of things. And he really didn't like the sound of vaping. He figured this would be fine as an introductory experience, but he realized that he had no clue when the edibles would kick in.

He pulled out his phone, typing into google.

Marijuana edibles generally take 30 minutes to an hour to induce any psychological effects on the consumer.

Oh.

Well, he figured, there was no way he could sit still for that long.

He stood, deciding he'd make himself some dinner. Something to busy his hands with, and the leftovers he'd planned on heating up would last another day or two anyways.

He settled on some fettuccine alfredo, fairly simple but one of his childhood favorites. He had a feeling he'd appreciate the comfort food while he was... in an altered state of mind.

Virgil, however, hadn't accounted for the fact that he had an almost unnaturally high metabolism, and before he'd even gotten the pasta in the boiling water, things started to get a little funky.

The first thing Virgil noticed, before he'd even registered that the edibles were kicking in, was how he could hear his thoughts. Not literally, but it felt as though his stream-of-consciousness thoughts were more slow and clear to him, as though he was speaking directly to himself.

As he thought this, his vision suddenly came into alarming focus, and felt oddly like an unstable skyscraper. He stared down at his feet, and they seemed so far away, the floor looked far too far away... He gripped the counter nearest to him, trying to steady himself even if he wasn't actually falling. He didn't feel like he had any control over his center of balance, and even if he was mostly stock-still as a pencil, he thought he might fall down at any moment, down the many stories of building beneath him. But there was no stories beneath him... it was only his legs, which he didn't remember being so long. He stared a little harder at his feet. They weren't abnormally far away, were they?

Virgil vaguely registered the sound of over-boiling water as the realization hit him.

Oh. So this is what it's like.

He turned so that his lower back was stable against the counter, sliding slowly down onto his butt. Standing didn't feel safe right now, even if that made no sense.

He didn't really like this. He felt so isolated, so alone in this moment. He was too out of it to focus hard enough on those thoughts for them to really take root, but he was generally aware of them. So, he did the first thing he could think to do.

He pulled his phone very slowly and carefully out of his pocket, as if he thought it was a brittle sugar cookie. He stared at the dark screen for a solid minute, wondering why it wasn't turning on. Then he realized he had to actually touch the screen for that to happen, and so he did.

From there, it was relatively easy; he unlocked his phone, found the calling app, scrolled around a little haphazardly up and down the contact list before finding Remus' contact.

If anyone could help him feel less alone, if anyone knew what he was experiencing... it would be him.

He took a deep breath and held it as he pressed the call button, bringing the phone to his face as it rang.

It only rang twice before Remus answered. "Hello, Jack Skellington! What can I do for you this evening?" Remus' voice sounded a little extra mischievous, and Virgil couldn't even begin to place why.

He was quiet for a little too long, vaguely trying to decide what to say. "Hi." Not the most eloquent, but it worked for a start.

"Hi," Remus replied, the troublemaking lilt of his voice dissipating slightly. "Is everything okay, Surly Temple?"

Virgil giggled a bit. Your brother is funny. You keep stealing his nicknames for me. "I'm, yeah. Sorry, talking. it's hard. Right now." Virgil spoke haltingly, each word firm but isolated from the last.

"Hmmm..." Remus stroked his mustache from the other end of the line. Virgil giggled again, realizing he couldn't actually see Remus stroking his mustache, but could imagine it vividly all the same. There was no doubt in his mind that he was doing exactly that.

"Oh, 'm high," Virgil added quite belatedly.

"Oh! Well that makes a lot more sense!" Remus laughed, but quickly composed himself again. "What are you doing? Are you feeling okay? Is this your first time? What's happening?"

"Skyscraper," Virgil replied matter-of-factly, as if that cleared the air entirely.

"...right..." Remus replied slowly. "Stormcloud, is it okay if I come over? I don't... I want you to be- uh, to feel safe right now."

"Yes, please," Virgil clung to the phone like it was Remus' arm. "I miss you I'm kinda scared," his words slurred together, but at least he managed to say something slightly coherent. Remus grunted in acknowledgement.

"Okay. I'll be there in ten. Want me to stay on the line?" Virgil could hear shuffling around in the background.

"What're you doin?" He asked suspiciously, narrowing his eyes at the refrigerator door, since he couldn't actually look at Remus.

"Putting on my shoes, silly! What room are you in right now?" Remus replied, a sense of protectiveness twinged in his voice.

"Kitchen. floor." Virgil swirled his fingers on the wooden floor.

"Okay. Do you want me to stay- oh, fuck it. I'm staying on the line till I get there, okay Virgie?" Virgil heard the sound of a door slamming, followed by vague trafficky noises.

"You're coming," Virgil spoke, registering it in his mind finally.

"Yeah, I'm coming," Remus repeated, and the sound of Remus' car starting sounded shortly after.

Virgil smiled at nothing. "I love you."

The words were a bit slurred together, but he heard them out of his own mouth loud and clear. He almost clapped a hand over his mouth, a little horrified that he'd just said that.

Sure, he'd known he loved Remus for a while now, but they hadn't said it before. He'd almost said it, once, earlier that week while he was laying in Remus' arms on a drowsy Sunday morning, watching the lines of his face shift and harden as he slowly woke up. But he didn't. And now he'd just gone and said it, while he was stoned out of his mind for the first time, sitting on his kitchen floor about to break into tears-

Remus' voice, a little bit strained, interrupted Virgil's thoughts.

"I love you too."

A pause. "I'm almost there, okay? Everything's gonna be fine."

Virgil snuggled down further into his hoodie.

"I know, cus you'll be here."

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #dukexiety #sanders sides fanfiction #ts virgil #ts remus #human au #5 + 1 fic #5 + 1 things #songfic

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xnchxntmxnt · 3 years

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OMG HAPPY 2OO LUV!! ILYSM, AND YOU DEFINITELY DESERVE MORE!! AS EXPECTED I'M HERE FOR THE MATCHUP EVENT AND I'M SO SORRY FOR BEING LATE KSDJFHSDF

1 | name : amie 2 | pronouns : s/her 3 | preferred gender : doesn't really matter 4 | self-description :

— it's ya clown sho <3 anyway, i'm an ambivert but more inclined towards the introvert side. my MBTI is INFJ and i'm a Gemini. i'd describe myself as someone who's very observant? yea, i guess. i'm awkward and you know it. My favorite color is blue, specifically sapphire, but i love all pastel colors. My fav show is Chicago Medical and all the psychological and crime thrillers out there are my favorite ( silent patient is my #1 though ) I love painting, playing piano and basketball!

— what i look in a partner you ask, uh, someone who can tolerate my silence. there are times when i go quiet for a whole day, i'll barely speak, no interaction nothing. i want someone who'd not exactly 'deal with it' but 'understand it.' also, i want someone who i can talk to without any hesitation. i have a hard time opening up so i don't do it but when i do, i spill almost everything. i might cry, might have anxiety attack, i might even shout. i know it's not very healthy but i want someone who can help me with those. plus someone who i can read with please <3 cheating and not having any respect for personal space would be the major deal breaker for me

5 | gen. aesthetic : my fashion sense starts from sweats and ends in sweats. i'm a big fan of those oversized hoodies and shirts, like something really comfy. however, i do have a collection of formal wears like blazers and dress.

6 | color/s to describe myself : red, actually. if not read then blue. it switchers but red 90% of the times.

7 | fav song/s : literally everything by Chase Atlantic and The Neighborhood. However, my absolute favorites are some of the famous classical pieces like Experience by Ludovico Einaudi and Chopin's Ballade No. 1 Op 23.

8 | fav genre of music : classical music ( Beethoven, Einaudi and Chopin own my heart )

Lol this is very lengthy I'm sorry, btw congrats again!

I looked into MBTI, I looked into zodiacs, I went off of what you said

Here he is, the man, Seijoh’s do-it-all guy

HANAMAKI TAKAHIRO ur new boyfriend

There is not enough content for him, anyway

How You Met

Bear with me here

Think about this

Artist!hanamaki

You love painting? Art club.

Idk if youre actually in any art club but shhh

Anyway, it was probably some sort of community thing full of tons of different age artists (bc you’d have basketball or something after school and he had volleyball)

So like once a week on thursday afternoons everyone gets together and does all sorts of artsy stuff

Everyone listens to lo fi music (or you can bring headphones) and chit chat and just paint for a couple hours

Its in the back section of a library (bc the library near me does stuff like this its awesome) so if you want you can go read a book while you wait for things to dry

One day the person that ran it suggested you talked to the new guy

He was about your age, it was his first day, they didn't know what all he was good at, and tbh they thought you two would look cute together

Just the vibes yk

So you set up your canvas and stuff next to him and introduced yourself

And you guys just vibe to the playlist

He’s REALLY good

Compliments you a lot too

Which is fun because he’s cute so it makes you a little flustered

You find out you guys go to the same school and he’s on the VB team

And says he has a (practice) game that weekend and asks you to come if you can

Which you do

And they win! So its fun!

Matsukawa basically asks you out for him though

He’s heard all about you already

“You don't get it issei! She’s so pretty!! God, she touched my hand and I thought I was gonna die!!!!!” “the enthusiasm is new for you” “shut up asshole” (conversation from the night before)

So he walks up to you after the game and is like “Hey so,,, we’re going out to get some lunch, you wanna come?”

Makki thinks HES flirting with you and is pissed off about it

Until you all sit down for lunch and oh, the only open spot for him is next to you (since when is matsukawa willing to sit between iwaizumi and oikawa??)

He asked you out after art club that week (Mattsun threatened not to give him any more monster for the rest of the month if he didn't get the guts to do it)

General Headcanons

You date hanamaki, you're also dating matsukawa

There’s no separating them (good thing ur MBTIs work together too, especially for strong friendships)

This was literally my first thought

Good luck with both these trolls

More on that later

Of course he’s going to be worried if you go radio silent for a while, but he'll understand

There are some days he’s not gonna wanna talk either

He’s really supportive on your bad days of course

Expect a random text in the middle of the evening from him

“Hiya sweetheart, just wanted to remind you that you’re beautiful, I love you, and I hope your day is going well.”

When he’s having a bad day, the same thing is all he needs from you to keep moving

He’s a really honest person. If you want to talk to him, be prepared not to get any sugar coating. If you tell him to shut up because you don’t want advice, he will. But if you expect advice from him, expect brutally honest advice. Subtlety is not his strong suit, so when it comes to advice, he’s going to tell it like it is. He's just trying to help, yknow?

However, he’s pretty good with people, so will know how to comfort you when something is bothering you. Tea and cuddles? Gotcha. Dancing at 11pm because neither of you want to sleep yet? On it. You want him to hold you? Perfect.

He’s not like...the most touchy person? There are some things he’s really indifferent on, and other things he’s stubborn as hell with. Whatever you wanna do, though

His weakness though

⚠️this part is slightly little bit suggestive⚠️

He will randomly walk up to you and pull you against him, give you a really deep kiss, smirk and walk away like nothing happened

Like hands in hair probably almost making out and then just

Walk away

Because that’s how he kisses and it’s breathtaking every time

It’s either little temple kisses or forehead or cheek pecks or something

Or that

And probably leaves you flustered and it’s funny (to him) (and to me if I was there with you) (bc that would be funny)

Hmm I’m thinking

I’m thinking hair dye dates

He needs help doing his hair from time to time Y’know (he doesn’t he just likes spending time with you) and he wants to make it pink again

So he teaches you how to do his hair and even offers to dye yours one day

Either just a strand or the ends or everything, up to you

Imagine having twinning hair dye with makki isn’t that cute

I think it’s cute

I said ur platonically dating mattsun right

Yes you are now

He absolutely adores you and loves how much makki loves you

Probably would have asked you out if makki didn’t but he was really pushing for makki to because he was just all over you in the beginning

He wasn’t overly attached to you romantically so being friends? Perfect. Sounds great

You two get along wonderfully though like you act like siblings once you warm up to each other

Again, very brutally honest person, but a little more awkward so doesn’t know what he’s saying might come off as he’s acting like a dick

He doesn’t try to though and he does really care about you

Flat out told makki if he breaks up with you and breaks your heart he’s gonna kick his ass (makki doesn’t know he had the same (less aggressive) conversation with you)

Tbh all of the VBC at seijoh loves you

Oikawa loves talking to you he thinks you’re great for makki

Gets you in on he and makki and mattsun’s antics

Iwa thinks you’re good too he just doesn’t know you as well

I think that kunimi would like you (he was almost a runner up--)

Kindaichi too

The first years just think you’re cool even if they won’t say it out loud

Seijoh VBC loves you

You got mattsun’s approval

And hanamaki loves you with literally everything in his life

You’re pretty set with your strawberry baby huh

Date Night!

SLEEPOVERS

I was waiting for some matchup to come along that gave me sleepover vibes

In a perfect world where you could do sleepovers with your bf because most parents would,,,not let that happen

Imagine…

He shows up at like 7:00 after practice, pizza in hand because he picked up dinner

You two eat, chat about your day, he probably scarfs down half the pie bc it’s after practice ofc he’s hungry

So when you guys are done eating you head up to your room

And make pillow fort

It’s mandatory

Different design every time, but there’s a pillow fort nonetheless

And then when there’s just enough room for the both of you to climb in

You get a blanket and a couple pillows and one of your phones or laptops or whatever and watch a movie and cuddle

When the movie is over you guys break out the face masks

You ever wonder why he has such great skin? It’s thanks to you (or if you don’t have masks, he picks them up on the way home from practice)

But anyway you guys talk shit about people for a while and sit with the masks on (it’s usually him talking about how Oikawa is a bitch as much as he loves him) (or about whatever he and Mattsun were talking about lately)

You both get chances to vent while the masks sit on your face and you just vibe with music (usually that you pick) (he listens to like,,,meme songs and like CORPSE yk)

After masks you guys make/get some snacks and munch on those during another movie but this time you’re in comfy jammies and more relaxed Y’know

Less paying attention to the movie you’ve seen a million times and just vibing in each other’s presence and it’s just really sweet

Fall asleep on his chest

Let him fall asleep on yours

Either way, you’ve got him whipped for you he loves you

Not that he doesn’t already but that’s his favorite thing ever so please just let him do that

Always makes sure to tell you he loves you before you sleep too

If you fall asleep first he takes embarrassing pictures of you with your hair being a mess & you best bet he sends them to mattsun because “she’s so cute omfg” “dude” “dude what” “you’re so fuckin stupid” “?” “Whatever—good luck being whipped just tell me when you need to get a ring, k” “you’re such a jackass” “yeah yeah Gnight”

Zodiac/MBTI

Okay so I’m not doing a big long paragraph for all this BUT from what I understand, Gemini/Aquarius are really compatible, and ENTP and INFJ are known as “perfect matches” sO (I had a really hard time deciding between Atsumu and Makki because they're both ENTP)

Psst Gemini + Leo is compatible and so is INTP + INFJ,,,, so, again, asking you to marry me sho 💍💍

Aesthetic/Vibes

Playlist

Prelude and Fugue No. 1 in C major, BWV 846

Linus and Lucy by Vince Guaraldi Trio (meme song)

Sky Full Of Stars by The Piano Guys

Someone To You by The Piano Guys

Shut Up And Dance - Simply Three

Runners Up

Miya Atsumu, Tsukishima Kei

#sho — 💍#//ᴍᴀᴛᴄʜᴜᴘꜱ

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baby-grayson · 4 years

Note

if you write one with 374 in it (even just the concept not the exact wording) I would simply ✨die✨

“Come to bed. I can’t sleep without your hips pressed to mine.”

Thanks for suggesting this one lynds! You know better than most of us just how stressful the end of the semester can be: especially when you’re finishing the toughest classes you’ve ever had and obsessively writing your thesis. It’s a time of year that’s all encompassing, when your study schedule dictates your eating and sleeping schedule. Hell, even your showers are optimized to fit into the time it takes your oven to preheat for dinner. As much as you hate to admit it, your time with Grayson has significantly decreased in the past few weeks.

For a while, you pretended that it wasn’t. You lied to yourself, saying that it was just that day you had to work in the corner of the living room while a movie played. During the lull in the action, he stares at you with puppy dog eyes: both missing the feeling of having you in his arms and admiring your work ethic.

Grayson would be the first to admit that he would never survive in a college classroom. Between his dyslexia, short attention span, and visceral need to pursue his own projects: college was not for Grayson Dolan. The fact only added to his deep admiration and respect for you, the woman he loved who could do things he never dreamed of.

Because of this deep rooted respect for your dedication to education, he would never dream of complaining about you being perched on the edge of the couch, frantically typing away, while he was left to watch the Charlie Brown Halloween special without your melodious laugh sounding when Charlie pulls a rock out of his trick or treat bag.

This pattern continues for most of the second half of the semester. Around Thanksgiving, you broke. You nearly fell into sobs while apologizing to Grayson for not spending as much time with him. You felt guilty for not investing the time and energy necessary to maintain a happy relationship. He was nothing but perfect when he drew an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest, and telling you that although he would never know exactly what you were going through, he understood enough to support you while you prioritized your future. He even went as far as to admit his own guilt for not knowing how to best be there for you in your crescendo of stress and nerves.

After Thanksgiving weekend passed, both of you felt much more comfortable with the hectic nature of your relationship for the time being. Grayson soon became preoccupied with his own business, as Wakeheart seemed to take up more and more of his time while he pushed to launch their holiday collection. Movie nights consisted of you in one corner of the room, proof reading and adding citations to your project, while he read and responded to a never faltering onslaught of emails. The open dialogue did not stop you from dreaming of January: with your diploma in one hand and Grayson’s in the other.

One night, the stress reached a peak after Grayson had gone to bed, but you furiously worked at the dining table. He had gone to lay down at 9PM. You told you that you would be right there. You looked at the clock and bargained with yourself: you’d be in bed before 11PM.

That was before you had found a mistake in your paper. Cursing under your breath, you went fix it when you found a few more. Slowly, they started to pile on top of each other as you were forced to face the consequences of working under such tense conditions.

You looked at the clock: 11:43PM.

You sighed and kept working, decided that you had enough mental steam to keep going. Grayson was already asleep, you assumed, he wouldn’t know if you were there are not.

12:13AM

1:34AM

2:31AM

You were running a race against time and losing miserably. Exhausted and angry, you decided to work until the first light of morning as to not lose momentum. You hated yourself for coming to this point: where 6AM represented the chance to sleep until 11AM. In this hard moment, you questioned why you ever went to school in the first place. Especially questioning why, you picked such an intensive course of study. You tired brain bounced from your own self doubt to the topic of your paper and back again.

“Have you moved since I left you?” You nearly jumped at his voice. Grayson leaned against the door frame of the dining room, his hair a fluffy mess that pointed in every direction. His arms were crossed over his shirtless chest and his briefs tightly lined the edges of his thighs.

It took you more than a moment to register what he said. “No-well-I had my methods wrong. The methods section? I was supposed to write about Copperfield and Hannigan but I got my citations mixed up and I had to look up my old notebook and I-“ Grayson raised an eyebrow when your eyes landed on him “-I got carried away,” you admitted.

“Yeah you did,” Grayson’s voice was husky and graveling, teasing his own exhaustion. He gracefully moved to your side of the table, leaning over to place a precise kiss on the top of your head, “Come to bed. I can’t sleep without your hips pressed to mine.”

You closed your eyes: you were so tired that the act nearly lulled you to sleep in the dining chair. “Give me another fifteen minutes,” your voice wavered over your words.

Grayson groaned softly, “No,” he insisted. He rolled an arm around your shoulders. “It’s late, whatever you’re doing,” he waved a hand in front of your computer, “you can do it in the morning.”

“Baabe,” you pleaded, “let me finish, this is- you know how important this is for me.”

“And you know how important you are to me,” although sleepy, his words were direct. “We’ve lost so much time together this month,” he sighed, “And that’s okay,” he hedged, “But don’t make me lose getting to hold you in your sleep.”

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goodtimingz · 4 years

Text

dreaming you would come true

intro. pt1. pt2. pt3. pt4. pt5.

AN: i’m writing these everynight instead of writing my essay. plz feel free to send in your relationship goal prompts c: i’ll write them in this universe or i can do it for another idol!

tags: studentlife, jae day6, fluff, college!au

: the one where you meet jae in your second year of college and it’s basically love at first sight. just little excerpts of what i think a relationship w jae would be like c:

1.7k words

Hi, hello. Every time I say hi to you it makes my heart flutter.

It was Saturday night and finals were over.

On any other day you'd be celebrating, out with the group for drinks like everyone else was. But tonight you just weren't feeling it. Maybe it was the chicken you'd ate at dinner, the fact that you hadn't slept enough or the fact that finals being over meant you had no more reason to meet Jae.

You missed his laugh already, and the way his elbows hit yours when you wrote notes beside eachother. The bee line for the boba shop that shut at 11pm on Fridays, and waking him up after watching him fall asleep from a 20minute online lecture. You missed him and you felt under the weather.

Wonpil had been hesitant to leave you, your close friend and classmate. You both lived in the same dormitory building and had met on the first day of class. "Y/N are you sure you don't wanna join us?" he had asked pouting, hand already on the door handle. You had to reassure him that you were fine and come up with some lie about needing to call your mom. This was a time to celebrate and everyone deserved a break, including Wonpil who had worked his ass off and probably got all A's.

Your mind wondered to Jae, picturing him out at a bar with his mates. He probably forgot about you right? Maybe he'd been hanging out with you for the past 2 weeks because you helped him study better... (not sure about that since you'd always bother him with deep questions related to your psych class just to hear his voice abit more.)

Stuck in your thoughts, the knock on your door almost sent your soul out of your body. Ever since you were woken up by the staff during a false fire alarm the knocks had always made your heart race. You hauled the heavy ass door open with a sigh, expecting your drunk best friend or another random drunkard knocking on everyone's doors.

Instead you came face to face with Jae. Well, more like chest to face since he was ridiculously tall.

"Ayee Y/N, you didn't think I'd skip a day without you right?" His playful voice and the sweet words were like music to your ears .

Without a second thought you smiled at him and every worry went away, replaced with burning red cheeks. "What brings you here?" You questioned bashfully, opening the door wider for him to get out of the hallway.

"I was thinking you'd be boring and stay in tonight, so I asked your friend Wonpil what room you were in. You know he's in my Music class right?" You roll your eyes and nod at him as he places a plastic bag on your desk.

You couldn't lie, you were beyond surprised and happy he'd come. But it was more surprising to watch as Jae pulled out three bottles of soju and searched your shelf for cups.

"How about we cheers? You've been working your ass off and I need to drink to forget how bad the last exam went. Leshgoo!"

Your eyes widen before you realised you were laughing. "Jae do you honestly think we can finish 3 bottles? I heard from your friend Younghyun that you're a light weight as heck!" Coincidentally (or not), the day after you met Jae, Younghyun had sat beside you in one of your stats classes.

Since then you had been sent a handful of snapchat's of Jae sleeping in awkward positions, so you assumed Younghyun had heard about you through Jae.

Jae looked at you sideways, fiddling with the lid of Soju. "Ehh Younghyun's a machine that's why. Anyone is a lightweight beside him." He was already pouring you both a drink and before you knew it 3 bottles were gone. You were a light weight too, so that was definitely not a good decision.

Jae looked so cute. You're not sure how you got here, sitting on the floor of your bedroom cross legged, facing the cutest guy, but boy were you glad to be.

"Y/N, you always look so pretty, I wonder if I can see you when you don't look panda-ish." Jae mumbled, his eyes smiling sleepily. He was a sleepy drunk, or maybe that's just the 8hrs he slept for the past week. He sure loved the panda idea, and had even drew a panda on your notebook during one of your study sessions.

You laughed at his sweet expression, pushing him softly on his shoulder. "Try again in a month, but I might blind you with my beauty. You should know I'm just like the 9-tailed fox when I’m not sleep deprived."

Yeah, you were drunk, in fact you both were. You tried your best to send him a sexy wink but you ended up laughing at yourself because no matter how drunk you were, you were still shy.

"Does that mean you'll eat my heart? I did not sign up for this!"Jae's cute eyes turned to slits with a suspicious scowl. (You took a mental picture of it, saving later for a rainy day.)

"Only if you let me..." You sent him a suggestive look and laughed as he covered his chest. Anyone looking in would probably think you two were insane. You weren't sure what time it was, and if it hadn't been you're own room you probably wouldn't remember where you were either. There were boxes of chinese food you’d ordered and random things everywhere around the two of you.

"I don't think the 9-tailed fox asked her victims for permission Y/n..." He had a point. "Okay then, mind if I just-" you reached out to his chest, pretending to cut a slit with your nails and reach in to grab his heart while he giggled the whole time.

"WOW, with that precise cut you should've been a surgeon!" Jae teased, his cheeks were so flushed and you took both of his hands in your own.

"You should know that is what I always dreamed to do, but here we are, 2 years into a psychology major. Thank me later when you have identity issues next, I'll be your certified therapist friend." You found the most dramatically serious voice you could while thoroughly drunk, and sent another wink Jae's way before lazily reaching for his hair.

He dodged your hands feigning offence. "OUCH, you friend-zoned me? Well, I guess you won't be able to dye my hair pink anymore, that's saved for my girlfriends."

"GirlfriendS??? As in plural? Wow Jae I should be the one surprised, I didn't know you were a player... But I guess it makes sense since you're so cute."

Friend-zoned? Who was talking about friend-zoning here? You weren't. Jae loosely put his hands up in defence, "Your homeboy is loyal to the day he dies!"

You move his hands out of the way shuffling so your knees were touching. You already knew he was loyal, he had a niche personality that could vibe with others but you never seen him disrespect a women.

"And why would I friend zone you? You're so cute, Have you seen this?" Cheek pinch. "And this?" Nose boop. "And these!" Your fingers brushed his lips, unknowingly a pout had formed on your face. "It's not fair that you always look cute. Save some for the rest of us Jae."

Jae felt his heart beating faster as you moved closer to him. The way you touched him with that smile and then the pout, it was enough to sober him up. He reached out to hold your face with both of his hands, watching as your hands dropped to your sides and your expression grew bashful.

"I think you're one to talk Y/N" He spoke so softly, noticing just how close you were. You looked so adorable, he could swear your lips called his name.

Who was he to deny it?

He leaned forward, gently kissing your lips. They were soft and tasted like peach soju. He could only think of you, if after this you never talked to him, slapped him or acted like it never happened he would accept it. But he liked you, and he couldn't stand denying it anymore.

To his surprise you kissed back softly, tentatively as if you were afraid.

When you pulled away his eyes searched yours, afraid he would find regret. "Will you remember this in the morning?" He asked you nervously.

"Jae, I'm pretty sober right now, and I like you." Your words were so sure and the shy smile you sent his way sent a wave of relief over him. Thank gosh.

"10 points! that's exactly what I wanted to hear because I like you too Y/N." Okay, his pulse had definitely increased to double speed and his hands were sweaty. Even though he knew your feelings now, it still felt so nerve-wrecking to confess. He tried hard to keep eye contact because some dating advice website said it was important, but it was hard.

You let out a breathy laugh before it turned into a genuine one. Was that so hard? Hell yes it was, your heart was beating out of your damn chest. Anyone with ears could surely hear it, which meant Jae could surely too.

"So... we good?" You managed to find words but it felt like trying to speak another language. Suddenly the room looked a mess and you got to your feet, starting to clean. "Of course we're good Y/N, we always are." Jae spoke comfortingly, a bashful smile resting on his lips as he followed your acts. Perfect. You nodded with a grin, taking the bottles from his hands to throw away.

When you turned back to face him, he looked so shy smiling at the ground. He was so Jae, so cute, so your type. You could not resist resting your hands on his neck and pulling him down for another kiss, this time you were sure to let him know you liked him.

When your lips touched everything except Jae left your thoughts. The way his lips moved against yours felt so right. When you two separated his hands rested on your waist and you never wanted them to leave. Up close Jae was so beautiful you couldn't help but smile.

"So... can I dye your hair now?"

Jae laughed at your asking eyes, nodding as he pulled into a tight hug. With your cheek resting on his chest and his chin on your head, a buzz of excitement rushed through you. The future suddenly looked less black and white, and more blue? Yes, rather than pink you think Jae would suit blue.

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shuatoyou · 4 years

Note

yayay okok hear me out: LEE JIHOON. hes back from work. a bit stressed, but ok overall. ms y/n comes over and tries to calm him down. he gets worked up. a lil fight, ending up in y/n leaving the apt/dorm for the night. u carry on the story however u want!!! if ur not comfy writing angst please lmk so i can apologize and send a different ask! thank u and im good as well hee hee :)) ily SO MUCH u are my baby :')

u r too good for this world pls. thank u for the request i hope u like this one <3 ily bunches

don’t hesitate to send reqs whenever i love receiving them from u btw

jihoon x reader ft some jun & soonyoung hehe

the faint slamming of the door could be heard from your spot in the lounge signalling jihoon was finally home. the said boy walked into the room completely disregarding your presence leaving you slightly confused as you followed him into your shared bedroom.

“is everything okay babe?” you ask lifting a hand up onto jihoons shoulder but you receive no answer and your hand shook off, so you proceed to ask again much to your boyfriends dismay as he unpacked his work bag.

“do i look like i’m dancing on clouds right now y/n?” jihoon responds this time only to stun you with the harsh tone of his voice.

you stand there in awe at the way he spoke to you watching him throw his mic he takes around onto the desk, you flinch a bit at the sudden impact of the mic hitting the table.

“did something happen at work? we can talk about it over some hot dr-”

“y/n why do you have to be so persistent can you just leave me alone?” jihoon turns around harshly only to be met with your shocked and unpleased face.

“woah there. i don’t understand why you’re taking your anger out on me when i’m trying to be nice and be there for you considering you’re my boyfriend.” you tried to speak with reason but you felt yourself getting angrier and more upset at each word.

“i’ve already expressed i’m not in the mood you could just give me space” jihoon speaks out louder this time

you shake your head in disbelief at the fact he was acting this way.

“fine i’ll give you space in fact you can have the whole house maybe you should yell a bit more at the furnitures while im gone.” you resort to yelling along with him now; something you despise so much.

at this point both of you were angry and frustrated at eachother but you knew wasn’t worth going back and forth, so you grab your hoodie and walk out the bedroom and eventually the house, mimicking jihoons door slam from when he had first entered.

you knew junhui and soonyoung lived down the road not too far so you decided to make the 2 minute trip walking over to theirs with no other options once you had made the rash decision to walk out of your warm apartment on a cold day. many regretful decisions there.

“y/n?” junhui was shocked to see you at their door at 11pm to say the least.

“is everything okay why are you here so late? wheres jihoon?” he begins asking spitting each word out quite quickly.

“can i come in is that okay?” you smile weakly at the taller boy.

he nods moving to the side and shutting the door behind you directing you to their lounge.

“oh hi y/n wheres jihoon” soonyoung repeats his roommates previous question with his signature smile pulling through.

“he’s at home” you respond standing a bit awkwardly, you weren’t used to being in other members companies without jihoon.

jun pats the seat near him.

“do you want anything?”

“water is okay” you let soonyoung know and he skips off into the kitchen causing you to let out a small unnoticed laugh.

“so whats up?” jun questioned again wrapping his blanket tighter around him. he was clearly cold.

“jihoon. he came home really mad and we had a little argument” you sigh before continuing “he told me to give him space so here i am”

“you and jihoon argued? what the hell” soonyoung walks in right as you said that handing you your glass of water.

you nod take a sip of the hydrating liquid.

“i dont understand why he was so angry when he got home” you scoff “especially when i was trying to be nice.”

“he got really frustrated today during practice and producing for the comeback, but we didnt think it was bad enough for him to be that way at home too.” soonyoung admitted following with an apology

“its not your fault dont apologise i wish he would talk to me rather than take it out on me you know. maybe its my fault for pushing”

jun and soonyoung sighed one after the other.

“does he know you’re here?” jun spoke up this time.

“no i didnt really say where i was going when i left.” you mutter playing with the hem of your sleeves

right on point your phone buzzed multiple times notifying you of a message causing you to perk up and take your beloved mobile out the pocket of the hoodie you were in.

you let go of the breath you wasnt even aware you were holding anymore.

“was that jihoon?” soonyoung asks now.

“yeah, he’s coming to pick me up so we can talk..”

“its up to you if you’re ready y/n” jun reassures you with soonyoung giving you an agreeing nod to his roommates words.

“it’ll be fine, im sorry for barging in so late you guys must be tired” you apologise feeling bad.

“dont worry about it, we’re glad you felt like you could confide in us, right jun?”

“yes of course.”

you give them a weak smile waiting for jihoon to turn up which wasnt long until a knock on the door could be heard. you followed soonyoung to the door watching him greet his friend before moving as if he was presenting you to a crowd.

jihoon gives you a soft pleading smile and you turn to the two boys now stood behind you. “thank you” you whisper gratefully. before leaving to hopefully sort out a few issues with your boyfriend.

#barely edited bc its 5 am and im tired #i love writing angst for some reason #im glad u sent this in bby #ty for always sending reqs #seventeenblog #seventeenimagines #seventeen #seventeenscenarios #hoshi #soonyoung #jun #junhui #jihoon #woozi #angst

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drawlfoy · 5 years

Text

Mirror, Mirror P.3

masterlist request guidelines requests are open! just please be sure to read my guidelines before sending one in :)

pairing: draco x femravenclaw!reader

request: the original idea is all mine, but p.3 has been requested

summary: while on their prefect rounds, y/n runs into both an issue and a mirror that she knows nothing about (but her partner certainly does).

warnings: foul language, light physical violence. i hesitated to write the slap since i don’t believe that anyone should ever hit someone. especially in a romantic relationship. but also this is magic and fictional and this draco is getting on my damned nerves

a/n: fr i’m so flattered that you all wanted a third part, i really am, but oh my GOD this particular draco is being such an intolerable dickwad and not cooperating with anything that i want him to do. thank you for your patience

music recs: i listened to the hp soundtrack while writing this so that’s pretty meta

word count: 1,239

tags! tags! @accio-rogers @geeksareunique

Y/N huffed as she stamped off to find Professor Flitwick, her hair falling loose from her bun as the sharp movements jerked it out of place.

That git that git that git that git that git....

How had he known? Y/N was secretive and so were her friends...as far as she was aware of. Perhaps she had fallen asleep in Potions that day and uttered her undying love for her fantasy Malfoy, but while the Slytherins were cunning and sly, there was no way they all wouldn’t have laughed at her. And she wasn’t even tired, thanks to the Wide-Eye she was permitted to take after her 10-12 shifts.

She was pondering the thought as she neared the end of an unfamiliar hallway, suddenly struck with the realization that while she was deep in concentration, she had missed the turn to Flitwick’s office. The end of the corridor was oddly familiar, though, and when she turned to the left, she knew why.

The mirror she had seen with Draco was right in front of her. If she squinted in the dark, she could make out the letters ERISED on the top, something she committed to memory for her next library visit. But before she could spend too much on her many tricks to memorize a word, a movement in the mirror distracted her.

“Aah! Malfoy!”

He had appeared next to her, gazing into the mirror with a teasing expression on his face. A smirk formed as he closed the distance, resting his chin on top of her head and shutting his eyes contently.

The only problem with the picture was that when Y/N looked to her side, Malfoy was nowhere to be seen. He only existed in the mirror, and it appeared as though her reflection wasn’t a perfect copy as well when she looked closer. Y/N was donning formal ministry robes that only high ranking members of the Ministry wore...the very career path she wanted to follow. She laughed, lacing her fingers through Malfoy’s and squeezing.

Y/N watched, speechless, as the pieces all began to fall into place. Just like the many riddles she had had to solve in the past to enter her common room, the confusion slowly drifted away until she was left, staring right at the answer.

Erised was simply the word Desire reflected. She desired a high ranking career in the Ministry and Draco Malfoy. That was no secret, at least not to her.

But Malfoy knew now. She had confessed to seeing their reflection in the mirror when she was holding onto his sleeve to make him stop. While she thought the claim of it being a regular old mirror innocent enough, she had been dead wrong. And, somehow, he had known what the mirror was.

Now she had to find Professor Flitwick.

“That’s kind of funny,” Rena admitted, dicing her beetroot with practiced precision. “But mortifying. What are you gonna do?”

Y/N sighed, adding her own ingredients to the shared cauldron between them. “I don’t know. I talked to Flitwick, but he refuses to switch us. Something about house unity and maturity. I would push harder, but I want him to choose me as a prefect next year too, so I’ve just got to roll with the punches.”

“So how are you going to act around him? Are you gonna be the same or come clean?”

“Well, he knows now,” Y/N mused. “But I was thinking that instead, I could tell him that he was getting his knickers in a twist about nothing because I went back there and just saw my simple reflection.”

“That’s evil, and you know it.”

“You say that as if he’s not evil.”

“Fair, fair.”

The two worked in silence, finishing up the extra credit assignment in the cold dungeon air. Y/N shivered as she began cleaning up the ingredients and noticed that Rena was yawning profusely.

“Rena, you don’t need to stay. I know you stayed up late studying last night. I’ll take care of it, you hurry up to our dorm and I’ll be there soon with some tea.”

Rena smiled. “You sure? You don’t look too well-rested yourself.”

“Absolutely. You forget that I fell asleep watching you lean over your desk last night. You deserve to sleep a little more.”

“Okay. Love you, Y/N!”

“Love you too.”

Rena skipped off, suddenly revived. Y/N rolled her eyes but smiled after her, gathering up the rest of the ingredients and washing the cauldron.

While she knew that she had done the right thing sending Rena back to their room, she couldn’t help but wish that she hadn’t. The dungeons were creepy at all times of the day, but especially so if it was 11pm and you were alone. Y/N thought that she had heard some suspicious sounds from the corridor but brushed off the notion.

No one’s down here except for the Slytherins, and they’re all holed up in their swanky common room.

Ah, yes, the Slytherins. Y/N cringed at the thought. She was in Malfoy’s territory, something she wasn’t too pleased about. The most disobedient part of her mind wanted to catch a glimpse of Malfoy in his natural habitat, but she knew that that was a bad idea.

Before she knew it, her station was completely clear and it was time for her to depart into the dark and freezing corridor. Gross. She didn’t understand how Rena had managed to look so cheery skipping into a corridor that probably had its own budding rat civilization.

She shut the door quietly behind her, hissing as a water droplet fell on top of her head. The chill as it slipped down her neck caused her to yelp, jumping nearly a foot in the air. In her surprise, she almost didn’t hear the amused snort from the shadows somewhere to her left.

“Who’s there?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Shit. She could recognize that drawl anywhere.

Draco Malfoy stepped into the dim lighting by the torch, wearing his signature silk suit. Does he ever take that off? His hair was annoyingly nice looking considering how late it was, and its silver glow, brought out by the torchlight, made her knees weak.

He cocked his head expectantly, waiting for her scathing comeback. She just stared, her eyes wide and dilated from the dark. What could she say to him?

“I went back to the mirror after our rounds.” The words just tumbled out of her mouth, quick and shaky.

“And?” His mouth quirked and his eyes sparkled.

“And I don’t know why you’re so enchanted by it. I just saw my reflection again.”

He frowned, but she could still see a shadow of amusement dance across his features. “Really, now?”

Y/N was frozen in place, but she so desperately wanted to run away from the situation. “Er...yeah?”

Before another word could come out of his very well-shaped mouth, the frozen spell over her had broken and she was already speeding halfway down the hall.

“Hey! I wasn’t done talking to you!”

Refusing to look back, she turned to the stairs and began jogging up them, praying that he couldn’t hear her feet on the stone as she was literally running away from him.

This was so, so embarrassing. Ravenclaws didn’t run, they remained and outsmarted their opponents with their wit and wisdom. But, for some reason, when it came to Draco Malfoy, all of that went away.

final a/n: so the wait for this one was long and it didn’t even turn out that cool, but i want a lot more time to actually construct the next meeting of them during their rounds, and that should be out soon. i’m sorry for making this one so short!! i’m thinking there will be either 1 long part or 2 more short parts before the end of this is reached. thanks for reading!

#draco #draco malfoy #draco x reader #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy imagine #draco imagine #draco x y/n #draco x oc #draco x you #draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy x oc #draco malfoy x you #slytherin #ravenclaw reader #harry potter imagine

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jksangelic · 5 years

Text

↳ rating: M

↳ genre: romance, angst, dry humor, smut, undergroundrapper!yoongi (don’t be fooled, yoongi is a soft lover in this), one-shot (divided for the sake of a functioning mobile tumblr)

↳ pairing: yoongi x reader

↳ parts: 1 | 2 | 3

↳ word count: 2.8k

↳ a/n: here’s the first part! second part comes tmro, and third comes the next day, both releasing at 10PM PST! please look forward to them heehehehe.

this part does not contain smut, only light swearing and maybe some sensual themes? i don’t remember lol. it’s also not very edited hehe i’ll come back to it.

*each squiggly divider represents a flashback, straight divider represents current time*

Yoongi preferred the heat set to exactly eighty degrees Fahrenheit, which was utterly ridiculous. It caused you to toss and turn in a pool of unattractive, and possibly foul-smelling, sweat all throughout the night. Even more so, he trapped you with his own limbs, protecting you like that stupid dog from Tom and Jerry protected that awfully large and awfully raw steak. You’ve fallen in and out of consciousness because of it, surely waking up every thirty minutes while the man slept like a log.

But it was wonderful.

You open your eyes for the umpteenth time, assuring he’s still attached to the hip and planting a kiss on his forehead sleepily. What a dream it would be to stay like this forever, you think, tossing the idea away as quickly as it came. It was punishing as is and you dare not tie the noose around your own neck.

You scan the room, curtains drawn closed and tv silently flicking through commercials, casting a dim width of light onto the bed. It must still be pretty early in the morning, you assume, a bittersweet realization.

Enjoy the moment, you correct yourself, be happy that you were able to have this. So you peer down at him through foggy vision, his eyes closed and mean, twitching a bit enough that you suppose he’s dreaming of something himself. Nudging your face into his hair, which smelled faintly of smoke and peaches, you force yourself back into slumber.

For the first time tonight, you sleep deeply.

Wondering how the hell anyone was permitted admission after the venue breached occupancy threefold, you rub at the aching spot of your ribs that your neighbor unintentionally keeps jabbing. You attempt to peer over the sea of heads anyway, looking for that goddamned girl that dragged you here in the first place. Where was she? Why was she so short? Why did you wear heels to a concert?

Never did you suspect you would be pushed against barricade at 11PM on a Thursday, waiting for an artist you have never heard. The sweat that accumulates, quite frankly, everywhere was probably starting to stain your clothes at this point. The beauty of public outings.

“Y/N! Y/N! Right here!” screams the woman of your nightmares, waving maniacally more towards the middle of the crowd than you but nevertheless farther than you would like to travel in this density. You make your trek, apologizing profusely as full-grown adults glare at you for moving, oh help them all.

“I will have your head for this,” you yell into her ear, gripping the divider to ease the stinging pain stemming from your toes.

“Lighten up, you’re at a concert that you got into for free, for heaven’s sake,” Chungha pouts, bopping her head happily to whatever DJ was opening for her beloved. “I think you’ll like these guys, anyway. Really good rappers, up-and-coming and all that good stuff.”

“Yeah, if they even show up. This poor dude has been playing for over an hour. Do you suppose his fingers hurt from pressing all those buttons?” She rolls her eyes in a way that says, please stop already. You really just want to know.

If this DJ had any influence of what the main act would be, you would rather just leave, plain and simple. This wasn’t really your thing in the first place, Overwatch and Red Dead Redemption (not one, but TWO!) sounding much more appealing than listening to EDM’s Worst Hits. But Chungha was a sweetheart who you’d marry in an instant, and when she asked you to come and claimed she already got you a ticket because she knew you couldn’t possibly say no to her, well, you couldn’t possibly say no to her.

You even dressed up for the occasion, a mix of Instagram baddie and Tumblr aesthetic (a sum of words you’d never like to use again) smooshed into one oddly cute outfit, if you did say so yourself.

It wasn’t worth your time.

But then the music starts changing pace, lights changing colors and dimming and smoke machines going ham and you suppose it’s finally starting. Three men walk out, one with orange hair and a long but pretty nose, heart mouth showcasing the straightest teeth you’ve ever seen on a human being, the second slightly shorter, bleached hair styled messily and the hand holding his mic covered in rings, the final with a smirking dimple, leading them out and hyping up the crowd with a few welcoming words that you don’t quite make out.

“There’s three,” you state dumbly.

“Great job counting! Remind me to give you a cookie later,” Chungha retorts halfheartedly, much more intrigued by seeing these men in person, “The guy in front is RM, he’s their leader. Blonde is Suga. J-Hope is the sexy one—HOSEOK OPPA!” She screams as if she’s been struck with a spatula, eyes wide and focusing.

You like their style, you’ll give them that. RM starts the song strong, lyrics so quick and diction so clear that it sounds as if he’s rapping directly to you. They all bounce around the stage, people at barricade, including your friend, reaching out and bobbing along in synchronization. J-Hope follows suit, stage presence oddly intimidating and seductive concurrently, his body more fluid and powerful than any dancer you’ve seen before. You can see why he would be the ladies’ man, lying to yourself if you said your eyes haven’t focused on his hips more often than not.

And without warning, Suga bursts into his own lines, atmosphere changing almost immediately when he brings the mic to his mouth. It’s hypnotic, his words continuously stringing out without break, without a single beat missed. You watch in fear. As the crowd around you screams and attempts to chime in, Suga steps closer and closer to them, squatting down right in front of where you stand and finishing his part with a deep, breathy note. He sits there as both men and women (and Chunga) paw at him and for the smallest of moments, do you think, his eyes lock on you.

It sets you on fire.

Yoongi always made it a point to study the faces of his fans out of appreciation. It would be foolish to say he’d be able to recognize each and every person he’s ever encountered, but he knows you were one to sketch into the archives of his mind. It doesn’t help that you are the only one, mouth slightly agape and teeth biting the inside of your cheek, completely still and studying. For the first time in a while, he feels intimidated; self-conscious even. More than a listener amongst the energetic mob, you look more like a critic.

It makes him shiver.

I would be his groupie in a heartbeat, you think, no doubt that he too is infamous around women wherever he goes. Whatever the matter, seeing this enigma of a man was worth your whole night’s experience.

I love, I love, I love myself! The audience screams, bass intensifying as the other two reach for water bottles propped on the stage. I love, I love, I love myself!

J-Hope throws in some ad-libs, sipping from his water before chucking the lid entirely, Namjoon putting a hand to his ear to egg everyone on and holding his own water above. You still stand in place, astonished how ethereal someone can look on stage and you instantaneously understand why people barricade. Suga catches you again, still squatted in the same position, possibly too lazy to get a water for himself but lets his brothers do what they must, and grins subtly.

You must look absolutely moronic gaping at this man, tongue-in-cheek impressed and hands barely gripped around the bars while everyone else around strains to be closer to the stars of the night.

I love, I love, I love myself! Y’all player hater, you should love yourself!

And that’s when you get—at least, half of a water bottle’s worth of water thrown at your direction. Right in front of the newfound man of your dreams. Everyone else screams madly, acting like these gods have blessed their parched souls with water after days on end, while you now look a little like a wet dog dressed in a hoochie skirt. You shrug, wiping at whatever was worth attempting to dry and thanking the gods that your makeup wasn’t running.

“Oh my god, your shirt is soaked!” Chungha lately notices, head whipping back and forth from the boys to you, back to the boys just in case she was missing something important.

“I would sell myself for that man,” you deadpan, not even blinking towards her.

“Suga? I bet he would accept if you managed to offer it to him.”

“I would easily give him all of the money in my savings right now.”

“You don’t have a savings. Pay attention.”

So you did.

You relished in every part Suga had, finally gathering up enough brain cells to at least rock with everyone else. Every song was like a lucid dream, the concert high really resonating with you. Either that, or you were literally high off of how much smoke there was. Gotta love rap concerts.

Perhaps it was the luck of the opening song, but Suga didn’t make eye contact with you again, a beaten disappointment gurgling in your stomach. But instead of behaving as a kicked puppy and moping about losing every possible chance that the blonde devil would bring you atop the stage and dedicate his serenade of sorts strictly to your face in front of hundreds of people--well, the chances were nearly zero. We're not all winners.

Suga continues on, trying not to focus on the girl with the sharp eyes that makes him clammy to the point where his throat threatens to constrict on him, which isn't optimal. He finishes song after song with his brothers, taking long enough breaks in between to catch his breath and focus on the bigger picture: that there was an entire crowd to please and not just you. Besides, there would always be a pretty or handsome face no matter where he went, he was Suga, goddammit, he wasn't a high school horndog ready to pounce on every intriguing entity he just casually glanced at. That role was a style more befitting for his brothers.

Upon your cognizance that this group was downright brilliant, the concert ends much sooner than you would have liked it. And just like that, the three send their love and are ushered behind the stage. It takes a while for the swarm to dissipate, interlacing your fingers with Chungha's to insure you don't lose her again.

"So, I take it you liked them," she giggles, forehead sheen with sweat because holy shit it's so fucking hot in here.

"They are really... talented. I award proper recognition when it's truly deserved." Tired of waiting, you practically shove your way past the bodies, dragging your poor friend behind you and bee-lining for the entrance.

"Wait! Do you want to get merch?" You twitch your nose, not entirely opposing the idea.

"Are you sure you don't want to just hop in? I'll pay for you!" Chungha cries, halfway into her Uber.

"Sis, I live down the street, I promise I'll be fine. I'll call you when I get home."

"That's so far!"

"I'm walking away now. Go home."

She harrumphs once for effect before waving goodbye, Prius soundlessly whooshing away while your best friend sticks her tongue out at you in the back window. You laugh at her foolishness before spinning on your heel and making your way.

It was just the right amount of chilly, breeze cooling you down a notch. You bet your ass you would remember this night forever, writing a mental note to check out the group on every social platform there was when you got home.

You skirt down a corner of the building, aiming for the route of your apartment--or, at least, where you think it is? "Sense of direction" surely wasn't the best trait on your resume. Walking down the dim street, you notice a few trickling souls walking in and out of the building, probably help from the venue closing up. It's when you see Suga, attempting to light his cigarette and leaning against a black van that you stop like a deer in headlights.

"Suga!" you point and exclaim like a child.

"... Wanna say that any louder, toots?" He chuckles, though, seemingly pleased rather than offended. He scoffs at his empty lighter, tucking the thing in his pocket and leaving his cigarette unlit on his lips.

"S-Sorry. My bad. Do you, uh, need a light?" you offer apologetically, digging through your purse to grab your lucky lighter, an embarrassing bright pink thing with Betty Boop floating in the middle.

"Thanks," he smiles, grabbing the lighter from your hand and flicking it to life as he takes a drag. "Do you smoke?"

"Not cigarettes. Honestly, I already regret offering that to you. That's a bad habit to kick," you sigh, taking it back when he hands it to you.

"Don't I know it." He glances up at your face when he returns your lighter, showing a regretful smirk but studying your face in the process. Well, hell, if it wasn't for the barricade critic.

"I recognize you," he continues, "you were up front, right?"

"Oh, god, I can't believe you remember that."

His heart skips at the match, blowing smoke out the corner of his mouth and pushing himself off the van. "You, uh, looked unimpressed. Got me worried that I lost my game for a bit."

"No! I wasn't unimpressed at all. I'm just a new fan, I guess. My friend brought me. I think I was just in awe, if anything. I even got this hood--"

You quite literally bite your tongue, wishing you could slap your face at the outburst, realization running over you like a train.

"You got what?" he presses, a sly curiousness brimming.

"N-Nothing. You were good. That's all."

"'That's all'? Geez, you're really putting me down over here, toots." He throws the butt and stomps it out, "Those eyes of yours really made me nervous."

Your eyes? How smooth of him. "Oh, I doubt that. You seemed just fine to me."

He hesitates to respond; what exactly are you trying to get at here? Sweet and sour, he supposes. It's interesting to him compared to the countless amount of substance-less gals that suck up to him to simply suck him. New fans certainly were feisty, he supposes.

"Do you live around here?" he asks.

"Are you going to stalk me? Yes."

"Well, if I was, you probably shouldn't have said yes before I answered. But luckily, no." He sticks out his hand, clad with rings of, you're sure of, soaring prices beyond what you can imagine for jewelry, "I'm Min Yoongi. But I guess everyone kinda just calls me Suga now. You can call me Yoongi, if you'd like. Can I ask for your name?"

You take his hand softly, hoping he doesn't notice the way you shrink in it because heavens that near-zero chance of meeting Suga certainly did skyrocket. "It's Y/N."

"Mm, pretty," he comments surely. "Well, Y/N. We're actually going to be here for a while, just finished a few shows here and there and decided to take a break until we can figure out bigger plans," he's talking too much, "Anyway, would you want to hang out sometime?"

You shiver in astonishment, what was happening here? What kind of lucky star flew over your head for this? Your goosebumps had goosebumps.

"That... Yeah, that would be great! Do you... Do you want my number?"

"Would love it," he declares, taking his phone out and setting up your contact without delay.

"Do you do this much? Snag a girl's number after a show?" you joke as you type in your number. Yoongi snorts.

"Girls don't necessarily talk to me in a well-respected manner, let alone offer me a light."

"Well, don't expect that last bit anymore. Smoking really is a pet-peeve of mine," you warn. Who were you to warn him of something you didn't like? Idiot!

"Yes, ma'am. I'll shoot you a text sometime. Was nice meeting you," he says, watching you nod and smile and wave goodbye as you continue on home, Suga's name printed enormously on the back of the new sweatshirt you bought from the merch stand. He bites back a snicker, picking at the hair on his neck before walking back inside.

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raleighliving · 4 years

Text

Top 3 Back Roads to Be Alone with Your Thoughts in Raleigh

I wanted to make my first piece of actual content something ‘unique’ because I wanted to set the tone appropriately. Show off how my brain ticks, how I process things, and how you can expect similar articles to go in the future.

So let's start off the new year/new blog/etc. with a list of my Top 3 Roads to Be Alone With Your Thoughts On. If you’re like me, you have crippling anxiety that makes day to day life a drudge. Or maybe you have problems of your own, or just need somewhere quiet to go where you can forget your problems for 10 to 15 minutes because life these days is noisy AF.

These roads are just a few places (cause I have other lists to write) where you can drive down them at 2 or 3AM and feel absolutely secluded from the world at large, and maybe see some cool stuff.

1 - Norwood Rd. (N. Raleigh)

We’ll start the first-ever listicle off with some closely grouped roads under the theme of “interconnectivity” A good set of roads that, individually are pleasant but can be chained together or abandoned to civilization at any time depending on your mood.

To start that off, we’ve got Norwood Road; a side road that’s fairly representative of Raleigh as a whole, one end reaching its conclusion at a small bait-n-tackle shop and the other at a fairly large elementary school. Following the road itself, you’ll find nothing but empty churches and the odd gas station or CVS.

Most of the neighborhoods and houses along the road are pushed back into the wild, so you’re not apt to run into anything other than a deer or possum crossing the street. Of course, there’s still plenty of nature to take in; and if you travel along the road at 8 or 9 PM, TreeRunner Adventure Park located between Norwood and Old Creedmoor will be lit up with its great array of multi-colored lights

If you wanna dip back into the developed world then you can jump off on Gun Club Dr. or follow through the entire road to either Leesville Rd. or Six Forks, from there you can definitely reach most main highways or main roads in less than five minutes. Regardless, it’s a quiet drive with very little lighting aside from the warm glow of windows and the occasional other drivers.

2 - Old Creedmoor Rd.

Hanging parallel to Creedmoor Rd. and slicing through a more north-to-south section compared to Norwood’s east-to-west, Old Creedmoor Road is a dark and slightly more populated backroad that flirts with Durham Rd, Creedmoor Rd, and the Wake Expressway without actually touching most of them for most of its run. It’s north end, actually connecting to Durham Rd, puts you pretty close to the southern portion of Falls Lake, and best of all it acts as a connector hub to other shady back roads.

From Old Creedmoor, you can connect into the aforementioned Norwood, take Gun Club Road past some horse farms and horse competition practice fields (out of towners beware, Raleigh is Horse Girl country), or hit the northern end of Carpenter Pond Road for a trip back to Leesville (a main road of sorts) filled with empty farm fields and burnt out old sheds; as well as a few ponds the road may or may not be named after.

Aside from being a back road hub of sorts, the scenery shifts in parts from trees crowding to absolute country clearings complete with being far enough away from downtown to still see a decent number of stars in the sky. Best enjoyed, of course, on a summer night with all the windows rolled down.

3 - Mt. Vernon Church Road

It’s not the only road named after a church in Raleigh, but this is one of the nicest. It connects in at Old Creedmoor and even cuts through Creedmoor Road, but it dips and weaves further east than most of the other roads listed here.

It’s a fairly gentle ride that peaks its head into some more populated parts of Rural Raleigh but never goes too far unless you turn back on to the main roadway. Traveling down the road with your brights on, you can see all manner of woodland creature scurry on the edges of the road, or you can hop out onto Six Forks and continue towards Raleigh proper. All in all, a great little diversion for when your mind starts going fuzzy.

So, individually these are good drives for clearing your head. Dark, empty roads with little to no human interaction along the way, with splitting points that act as easy escapes back to the more city-ish parts of Raleigh along the way. The lack of other drivers from 11PM on through the wee hours of the morning means you can drive alone with your thoughts for a good long while and maybe clear your head.

It’s also fun to take these roads when it’s dark out because you’re more likely to see things like Deer and Possum than if you stayed in suburbia or downtown areas of the city. It’s good clean fun you don’t have to pay for, you get to see the more rural side of the city, but most importantly you can set how long you wanna be away from things by how you take the roads ahead.

#List #listicle #travel #Raleigh #NC #north carolina #northcarolina #rural #amateur photography #Country photography #maps #backwoods #back roads #driving #places to drive #detox #clearmind #top 3

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april-lilies · 5 years

Note

Sounds like you have some super cool stories for us, it its not anything too private. I think it would be super cool to hear about more stories with you and tokyo.

Oh my god, the thing is that I don’t even know where to start…so you’re going to get a general rundown of all of it. I apologize as some bits may potentially make people uncomfortable (I got molested while drunk at one point).

Strap in, this is going to be LONG, though I’m going to gloss over some bits. This all happened while also going to school Mon-Fri and some Saturdays all day. I’m also excluding most of the hanging out with my class friends because it was more just casual hanging out/bar hopping/nothing very exciting.

If anyone has any more specific questions about my experiences or Tokyo, please feel free to ask me.

The first weekend I was here I went to a gothy music event after going to a Buck-Tick gig. The BT gig ended at like 8:30 and I didn’t want to go home and I knew of the all night music gig. I was going to chicken out from going, but I decided to attend. That one decision set off all of this.

At the gothy music thing, I saw Auto-Mod and various alt DJs in the Tokyo scene. Some random western dude then came in and seemed to know everyone and eventually danced with me for a bit. He was just trying to get people to dance/get hyped up for the band. Figured that was that, but after the show he grabbed me and started introducing me to various people, mostly DJs including DJ Sisen. Turns out the dude runs his own club, and he and one of the DJs (who I will call Ossan #1) took me over to it. I got in free and drank free, chatted with people a bit there. Ossan #1 worked/works for Buck-Tick’s record company and we chatted about BT for a while. He was fucking shocked I knew them and had just come from a gig. It was wild to just…run into a random person and talk to them about BT at some length. After the club closed, the club owner took me out to breakfast at a lil place that you wouldn’t have ever been able to find unless you knew it was there and the cooks looked like yankis. Everyone was really nice and were shoving food at me for me to try. I didn’t get home til like 10:15 in the morning.

This was before Halloween and the club owner told me I should come to his big Halloween party at a big nice venue the next weekend, so I went because I am a curious mofo. Through the night I got hit on and pursued and bought drinks by various men, danced, and got kissed by like 5 people. Toward the end, Ossan #1 shoved me on stage to dance with some professional performer girls, which was pretty fun. After, I was invited to come to the after party and we split up to go in various taxis/or take the train. I took the train with another DJ guy, who then tried to take me home instead, to which I noped out and went to the bar where we were supposed to meet the other people. I just kinda hung around and left when I felt I could.

Next weekend was the weekend before Halloween and my closest class friend asked me to go out to an LGBT party with her (she’s a married lesbian). I said sure, but we ended up not going there and ended up going to a famous women’s only bar in the gay district of Tokyo. We did a nomihodai, which is all you can drink for a set time (at this bar it lasted two hours). Various people were hitting on my friend until she told them she was married and then the attention turned to me and it was the first time irl I’ve been hit on by women. It was an interesting experience and was fun. After, we left to go to an lgbt bar where my friend knew the manager. Drank there. Then decided to walk over to the bar where I know the club owner, since there was another Halloween party there that night too. BUT when we got there, my friend decided to go home and left me to the bar by myself. I was already pretty fucking buzzed by that point since we’d had a lot to drink, and then when I got to the bar, I met another DJ (who I will now call Ossan #2), who bought me like three shots, which we downed quickly. He went off and left not long after that. I didn’t know at the time, but now I think he probably left because he was drunk/he can’t handle much booze and the shots probably hit him. I was ok myself for a bit, but then the shots fucking hit me and knocked me on my ass. I blacked out drunk for the first time in my life. It was not fun and I don’t remember a lot. I know I got sick and I had a few nice people taking care of me. I’m really glad for them and that the people at this bar are generally very good people. When I was more conscious/sober but still terribly drunk, I found myself scared and alone on a couch in the bar. I noticed Ossan #1 (who was also very drunk) and he was the only one I recognized and I went to him because I wanted to be near someone I knew. That ended with me being drunk and confused as I realized he’d fucking shoved his hand up my shirt and pushed my bra away and was groping me. I was too fucking drunk to really do much. I was aware enough to pull his hand away when he kept trying to put it down my pants, at least. This was near the end of the party and at the end he tried to get me to go home with him and I was too drunk to really do anything, so I stared at the bar owner until he noticed me and came over. He fended off the Ossan DJ #1 and then had two of his friends escort me to the train station so I’d be safe. I regret getting as drunk as I did that night and will never, ever do it again, but it was probably a good lesson to learn.

Most DJs or club people I’d talked to a bit more and I had exchanged Line contacts, so later that week Ossan DJ #2 contacted me and asked me to go to a music festival the coming weekend with him. Again, I am a terribly curious person and said sure. He bought my ticket and went over to it together, grabbing some food and some beers at the venue (Poor dude said he was kinda drunk after two beers. One thing I like about japan is I can drink all the Japanese men I’ve met under the table.). It was more of a nerdy music/arts festival than anything, merging electronic art and imagery with electronic music. It was actually really cool and I wish we’d stayed longed, but Ossan #2 just kinda flitted around a bit from area to area in the venue (which was a cool museum). He eventually took me to a nice sushi place and we ate a ton and he paid for all of it. He then decided he wanted to go home and we split ways. To this day I’m still not exactly sure wtf he wants from me since he’s made no moves on me at all, but has asked me to hang out multiple times, though I’ve always been busy.

Next weekend I was out shopping and by the end couldn’t decide if I wanted to stop by the bar for a drink before going home. It was only like 8pm and I didn’t think there would be many people there and I didn’t wanna go by myself when there wasn’t a party going on (they start at ~11pm), but I decided to walk over to the area anyway before deciding if I was gunna go in to the bar or not. When I got there I decided no, and started to walk to the train station home. On the way, a guy who was clearly not a resident stopped me. He was a guy in Tokyo on business from Hong Kong and asked me if I knew any good bars in the area and if I wanted to go drinking with him. I said sure, only because I got to pick the bar and we were right by the one I was comfortable with. Drank with him for a while and responded with disinterest as he kept hitting on me and trying to kiss me/etc. he was kinda drunk already and luckily at one point he fucked up and called me the wrong name, to which I fucking roasted him. It was getting near 11pm then and I had permission from the bar owner to stay a bit later without having to pay the entrance fee for the upcoming party and I basically told the guy to gtfo since he’d have to pay if he stayed any longer. After he left I stuck around and socialized for like an hour before catching one of the last trains home.

Next, I decided to go to another kinda gothy DJ/performance event at the same venue as the one I’d first gone to. I didn’t really know anyone there (I had met a few of the DJs before, but nothing to the level they’d really remember me), so I just kinda hung around by myself and danced a lil. Annnd then Ossan DJ #1 came in. It was a dance of awkward small talk, standing on opposite sides of the room, and avoiding each other. Eventually at he end of the night, the club owner I know showed up and he ended up taking me and introducing me to more people and got me to socialize a bit. At one point when he’d gone off to socialize with some others, Ossan #1 finally came up to me at the bar and was like ‘So……..you’re mad at me….what did I do?’. I thought he was avoiding me because he knew he fucked up the last time, when in reality he was avoiding me because I’d been acting cold to him all night and he didn’t know why. He didn’t remember what he’d done and I got to inform him of it, to which he tried to make me stop and shush me and tell me to keep it a secret. I was not shushed. Eventually bar owner came back and we went over to his bar, which was frankly pretty boring this time. When we were leaving, another club owner stopped me on the street and said I looked like Boy George (which was a comment I got about 5 times that night because of my make up/hat combo. it was completely an accident) and she got my Line info and asked me to play Boy George in an 80s night she will be doing in March and was very happy to find me because she already has a guy who plays Pete Burns for her. We’ll see if she ever actually contacts me about this again. When I went to say goodbye to the bar owner after she was done talking to me, he introduced me to a friend of his and told his friend to ‘take care of me’. I didn’t know what the fuck that meant, but he took me out to breakfast and we just chatted. It was nice and the food was fucking amazing traditional Japanese grilled fish breakfast set.

Sometime during the next week (on a school night) went to a Kaya gig where he sang Schwarz Stein/Femme Fatale/solo work accompanied by piano and violin. It was a very lovely little show in an intimate bar.

Ok, now this I’m not exactly proud to admit, and you may judge me as you like, but I messaged Ossan #1 the next week and told him I’d forgive him for what he did one time and asked if it’d be ok for me to go to the event he was DJing that night. I knew we’d run in the same circles and that I’d keep seeing him and I wanted to clear the air. He said yes, that he was relieved, and that he’d never touch me again (which he has indeed kept his promise on and has backed off from anything more than some verbal teasing). The event was at a very nice little bar I’d never been to before. There was supposed to have a cover charge, but I waltzed right in and the staff like gestured to Ossan #1 like ‘ah you’re here because of him.’ He bought me a drink and then proceeded to introduce me to some people there, including a couple. The wife spoke very good English, and it turns out they run a large fetish party in Tokyo and that Ossan #1 DJs for it. Apparently Ossan #1 introduced me to them as sort of an apology and had suggested to them that I model for their next fetish party, to which they liked the idea. I ended up chatting with the wife most of the time, and I have to say she was THE SWEETEST. The DJ event at this bar only lasted until 1am and trains don’t start again until 4-5am, so I had intended to walk 45min to the bar I know the owner of and stay the rest of the night there. Instead, I was asked to go to Harajuku to a bar with the couple, Ossan DJ #1, and two girls who were at the bar (one of which was one of the girls I’d danced on stage with at Halloween, but I’m not sure she remembered me). I said sure, and the couple paid for all my drinks at the first bar and then we hopped in taxis, which I also didn’t end up paying for at all. At the bar in Harajuku, the couple took us up to the private floor and a waiter immediately came and served us all champagne. I was sitting on the end at first and everyone was talking in Japanese and I just kinda observed, until the wife noticed and moved from her husband to come and sit by me and talk with me ;___; Lots of champagne and silly chatting was done (and I guess planning for their next Fetish party, but that was done in Japanese) and turns out the wife was really into BT/Sakurai when she was a teenager, so we chatted about that too. Overall, it was really, really fun and the wife invited me to their private Xmas party in a few weeks. After, we all hopped in a taxi and they had it take me over to the bar I normally go to and paid for it for me. I don’t remember a whole lot because I’d been drinking a fair bit, but I know I kissed one of the bartenders, and idk how the fuck that happened. At the end, I somehow also ended up going out for a ramen breakfasts with a bunch of French people, who ended up paying for my food for some reason.

During the next week, for some reason I decided to go over to the bar when the bartender I’d kissed was working. I’m not exactly fucking sure why, I think I just wanted to see how he acted and to see if that had actually happened. We chatted a bit about music and it was really pretty awkward since we were the only ones there at first and his English was bad as is my Japanese. Eventually more customers came in and he was attending to them, but turned the music system to playing Soft Ballet since I’d mentioned I like them. And then this older dude from Belgium came in and came over to ask to drink with me because he was glad to see another Westerner there. We ended up chatting for a quite a while and he bought me drinks the whole time. Eventually his friends came and he left and I needed to catch my train and I went to leave. To which the bartender came out in the hall and kissed me while I was waiting for the elevator, which then confirmed that shit had indeed happened the last time I’d been at the bar. I still have no fucking clue why he and I ever kissed the first time.

The next while was spent mostly on school and trying to find something to wear for the Xmas party. Like what the fuck do you wear to a fancy dress party run by people who organize Fetish parties??? And also I was curious how it’d go because both Ossans were on the guest list. Anyway, eventually that came and Ossan #2 was super surprised to see me because he had no idea how the fuck I got involved in this group/how I got involved enough to be invited to the Xmas party. He and I chatted and hung around until he had to leave to DJ at another event (which was supposed to be the after party for the Xmas party, but we didn’t end up going). After he left I kinda just…awkwardly introduced and passed around to various Westerners/Japanese who spoke English there. I don’t think some were very thrilled to talk to me/felt like they were baby-sitting. It was funny though, at one point I was asked which DJ/man there I ‘belonged to’ and the woman seemed to think it was badass that I said I don’t belong to anyone. At one point I talked with the host couple a bit too and they expressed that they were trying to figure out what they wanted me to do for their Fetish party. I didn’t know exactly what that meant, and I still don’t. Eventually a half American, half-British guy came up to me and we ended up chatting most of the rest of the party. He was really chill and bought me some curry, lol. The party was officially over, but most people stuck around to keep drinking and socializing and were getting more drunk. Ended up chatting with Ossan #1 a bit and with the host lady. Also, for being a party run by fetish people, the most kinky thing that happened was someone getting spanked a bit at the end, so it was a lot less weird than I thought it might get. A group from the party, including the host couple, decided to go to a restaurant near by and the half-Brit guy and I decided to go along. We hung out most of it but later regretted going b/c it was a flat fee we were all charged to be there and eat/drink, which was about $50. I didn’t have enough money on me at the time and the Brit guy took pity on me and decided to pay for mine since he knew I was a student and had no income. I told him I’d pay him back, but he refused. We also ended up being silly and eating slices of wagyu steak with our hands because we didn’t get sliver wear and it was some stupid protest at the time over how expensive it was. Idk, it was dumb but fun. Eventually we hopped a taxi and he went home and I went to the bar I always go to to wait for the train. Nothing very exciting happened there other than a drunk bartender kept giving me rice balls for free. I guess the day after the host lady messaged the Brit guy to ask if I’d gotten home ok ;____;

The next few weeks I just focused on getting through school/finals, which was admittedly rough and came with a bit of a breakdown towards the end. One week night I did end up going out to dinner with the club owner, which mostly was just him talking about politics the whole time. We went to a bar in the gay district for a few drinks after since I guess he liked the particular gay bar, despite not being gay. Idk, he still mostly talked about politics, which is not a topic I really enjoy discussing. Another night I ended up going out to a café with the Brit guy, as well. It had intended to be me studying and him working on translation work, but we mostly ended up talking and gossiping about the people in the club scene. I guess he’s been in the scene for ~10 years and yet I’ve managed to infiltrate it and meet more people in two months than he had in years 8| Not that I was trying to do that, it was all a bunch of accidents. Also near finals I went to a music gig of Auto-Mod/Der Zibet/Loopus. I regret not sticking around to socialize at the bar once the show was done, but I had Saturday class the day after.

Finally got through finals and went out with my school friends for the last time before most of them left since they were staying only one semester (thankfully the girl I went out with on Halloween is staying and she’s the person I’m closest with at school). ANNNNNNND the next day picked up Riki (@crimsonmaggots) from the airport. That night I’d been invited to parties both by the club owner and by the fetish party lady, but Riki and I were both exhausted and stayed home. He stayed with me over my break and we did a bunch of stuff. I’ll mention some notable ones that relate to my social life or music.

We went to Yellow House, which is a shop run by the woman who has been dressing many visual kei bands since the very beginning/her shop has been around 37 years. It’s tiny but the walls are plastered with old band flyers, posters, and polaroids of her with band members through the years. I def freaked out a bit over her old pics with BT and she had a sticker banner thing from the original DIQ in ’89. If you’re ever in Harajuku and are into VK, I suggest you stop by and at least talk to her. She’s a gem and a spitfire of an old lady. It was a religious experience; especially for Riki since the lady basically dressed him in a perfect coat and also he ended up buying one of the same shirts Imai had bought from the lady.

We also went to Buck-Tick’s tour finale, which was FUCKING FANTASTIC. We prepared like the entire day to make sure our looks were on point before going to the gig. It was so fucking good and I ended up getting us 4th row seats since I’m part of Fish Tank. People danced the entire gig and it was super fun. He and I also ended up in the crowd a few times on the live broadcast of the show. After, we hit up a restaurant for some beef stew omurice before heading to the bar I always go to for the weekend’s party. Which happened to be hosted by Takuya Angel this time, who thanked us for coming. It was a small party and we mostly just hung out and danced. The bartender who I had kissed the one time did like try to be a bit close to me at a few points, but I think got salty and avoided me after seeing that I was there with Riki, since I guess he thought we might be involved. Also the club owner randomly showed up and made two big posts of Chinese stew and gave it to all the guests for free??? It was an odd night, but fun.

On New Year’s we decided to go to a sort of gothy, black-themed New Year’s party. Unfortunately, we left kinda late and I didn’t think about how Shibuya would be fucking PACKED on NYE, so we were stuck jammed in a crowd when the year changed. Eventually we made it to the party and were met by a warm welcome from a DJ lady who was also there. She runs a shop in Harajuku we’d stopped by previously where she was super nice and let us try on corsets. Otherwise, I had been introduced to a few people there before (such as the woman who was running the party, I met her at the Xmas party, but I don’t think she remembered me), but wasn’t exactly on close enough terms to feel comfortable chatting with any of them except Ossan #1. Most of the night was spent dancing our asses off, people watching, and drinking. The performer girl who I had danced with at Halloween and who had been around at various other events was there too and she ended up dancing with me a bit and eventually dragged me and Riki up on the stage to dance with her and her friend during the last DJ set (which was Ossan #1). Idk how long Riki was up there, but the girl and I ended up dancing on stage together for quite a while

Various other adventures were had while Riki was here and he just left yesterday and now I’m fucking sad he’s gone.

I start school again tomorrow and that’s where I’m at with things. There’s a party this weekend at my typical bar where Ossan #1 is DJing….we’ll see if I go or not. We’ll see what happens with the fetish party. We’ll see what the fuck happens with my social life. All I know is this is far from over.

I applaud you if you read this all.

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secretsideofme95 · 5 years

Text

This Is My Story!

So, I’m just going to get all this out, I did something similar on new years, i sat down with someone and just spilled everything. I talked and talked and talked i just told everything, things ive never told anyone. But now i’m gonna get it all out, so here it is. My story.

I have never done anything like this so i am not quite sure how to do this but here we go.

Like many others growing up in primary school and secondary school i was bullied. I grew up with a lisp, i struggled with saying S and any words with it in. I had people older then me making fun of it i even had a teacher trying to convince me it was my fault and i just couldn't speak properly. At first i didn't understand why i was being asked to say words with S in it, but quickly i found out. it ended up making me so self conscious i got shy and quiet and just hid away and kept to myself. This was going on from like year 4 when i was 6/7 (i think i cant remember) Truth is from my childhood i dont remember anything good, i have no memories of anytime playing with friends going out having fun even just playing, only things i remember from my past at this time is just bullying.

In secondary school i remember again getting made fun of for my lisp, but also told i was ugly and that no one would wanna be with me. i had all these people making fun of me, i didn't fit in any of the groups i didn't even want to, i thought all this group stuff was stupid, so even just coz i wasn't part of the popular kids or the cool kids that ment bully me. people found anything to make fun of. i started self harming around 13. In school both primary and secondary i never really had friends so never had any after school activities, never went round someones house, i never went out with friends, i just went home. which i lived in a flat with my mum, a one bedroom flat. The council wouldn't move us despite my age, i had the bedroom my mum had the front room as her room. but ofcorse people still made fun of that coz we couldn't afford a house like they could.

Home, You would think that would be better but not really, i was a only child so i was on my own again, while at home i would do whatever i could to pass the time, i watched allot of movies, this is where i got into games, was a getaway, i could be someone else, i could pretend to be anyone. pretend i wasn't alone. so yes my mum was there, in a sense anyway. she would work all day and had an iron deficiency, so she would work all day, volunteering in a charity shop (another thing people made fun of me for) she would come home and just go to sleep, that was it she would go to work then go to sleep. I learnt to take care of myself, cook for myself. I became independent and i grew up i was basically living on my own at the age of 15.

When i was 18, at college, there was this one particular day, one day that stuck with me, i came back home from college, and there was a padlock on the door and an eviction notice, the council had kicked us out. all i had was the stuff for college that day and that was it. my mum went and stayed with her boyfriend, i had to find somewhere to stay, with no close friends and no other family was harder then you'd think. luckily i found someone who i knew who let me stay a few days, it grew us closer together she ended up becoming one of my best friends, which was good coz i was homeless and for the next 7 months was the hardest time of my life, so many times i wanted to give up and end it, so many times i just couldn't carry on, i had not much of my stuff, i had no privacy, no room for myself, i had to revolve my life around everyone else, whoever’s i was staying at. for 7 months i was at college Monday to Friday all day 9am till 5pm then Tuesday till Sunday from 6pm until 11pm i had work. then then same every day. it was so hard all the stress, having to find somewhere new to stay every few days. worrying about money about college work. about normal work. about what if the day comes i wont be able to find somewhere to stay.

I wish i could say it ends there but it dosnt. since then to this day i have been homeless (well sofa surfing) 3 times. every time getting worse and worse. This really is not helping my mental health at all.

So this is not everything tho, around the time i was 18 i was dating this girl, She was blond, so beautiful, she was such an incredible girl she was perfect and i loved her. after 3 years we broke up, i still loved her, i was 18 i was stupid and acted before i though, we had got into an argument after we had broke up, started on twitter actually. Allot was said between both of us, but she was suffering from bad mental health aswell as i was, i said some nasty stuff we both did, but i tipped her over the edge, shes told me after this happened that it wasn't my fault, she was already at the point i just pushed it that tiny bit over, but she tried to commit suicide like 4 times, everything got too much for her, i didn't know about this, not until i went back to college and i saw her one day, i saw the bandages, i saw the marks, i saw what i had done to her, people have said it wasn't me shes said it wasn't my fault, but i cant help feeling guilty, i cant help thinking what if i hadn't got in that argument what if i reacted differently, it wasn't my fault yet i feel guilty to this day, 6 years later this still lays heavy on my conscience, seeing what it had done too her, i couldn't take it. This is what has made me so bad, what has turned me into this, this is what made me become this.

i have learnt from this, i think before i speak, im terrified of confrontation, im terrified of arguments, i cant walk away i cant leave people when they are upset or angry, even if i get in an argument, i cave in, i give in and i usually give them whatever they want, i dont want this happen again so i do what i have to to stop the argument even if its not what i want, even if it hurts. i cant go through that again, it would kill me and destroy me more then it already has.

This is why i dont think i deserve to be happy, what i did to her, what happened, im getting what i deserve.

Every relationship ive had literally all of them except for this blond (including the ones before her) have all cheated on me, they have all used me, all played me. for one reason or another, i always get hurt. i pour my soul in, i give everything i can put in all effort and do whatever i can for them to make them happy, to give them what they want, and each one just takes me for grated and takes more, and more of me, slowly they are taking everything and soon there is going to be nothing left.

My family, that dosnt exist, none of them talk to me, wanna know me, they dont even know anything about me, nothing happened just slowly they all stopped talking to me, now even if i try messaging them not a single one will reply, even when i was in the hospital for my operation. no one cared to even ask why. when i need help most, not a single one cared.

my friends, i barley have any anymore, those that i do dont live close to me. all my friends i had i lost, my 2 best friends were married (together) i was actually living with them until a month ago, until they decided to turn their back on me, give me 3 days to get my stuff and move out, they were even so nice as to give me no help, even got me fired from my job on the same day.

my mental health gets worse and worse every day, not a day goes by i wish i was dead to be completely honest, i dont wanna live this life anymore i dont wanna live all this shit im done, but i carry on living through this shitty existence for those few people who still care. and every single day is hell fighting myself fighting my urges, being at war with yourself is the hardest battle to go through. every night i go to sleep crying, every morning i wake up wishing i hadnt. i would do anything to have a cuddle, i would do anything to just fall asleep with someone.

My love life, well thatch just non existent. in the last 4 months i had 4 dates, date 1, goes well have fun went out for a drink had a laugh blah blah blah, she said shed love to see me again soon, i was a lovely guy she really liked me. ofcorse i never heard from her again. date 2, go out for a drink to get to know each other, again goes well connected got on well im a nice guy how am i single, anyone would be lucky to have me, again, dosnt ever contact me again. date 3, so talking for ages been going round there spending time with here cuddling, then out of no where she tells me shes seeing someone after telling me she likes me but isn't ready for a relationship so might take some time for us. well that was bullshit coz she got straight into one with some other guy within a week saying she loves him. so date 4 a few weeks ago, been talking goes week meet up and yeah same story how am i single anyone will be lucky im the perfect guy shes looking for, so we arrange a date to go and have dinner together i was gonna cook for her, on the day tho she stops talking to me, dont here from her for another week, she tells me she ditched me coz she found someone. so once again same shit happens despite that she said she wouldn't and all that bullshit ... guys are not the only ones that can be dicks to people and fuck them over. i have given up completely, stopped looking, stopped feeling, stopped caring..

my sleeping is i dont even know how to explain it, i dont sleep much most nights im awake with my thoughts, i get maybe 2 hours a sleep a night if that, i just no matter how tired i am i cant fall asleep, i cant relax and switch off. im sitting here now running on no sleep for 48 hours and i cant fall asleep. so here i am writing this. when i do sleep i regularly have nightmares, bad nightmares, but ive got so used to them now, its normal to have them and dosnt even bother me anymore, used to terrify me. now i hope they are real i hope that that dream i die, is not a dream. when i sleep i feel nothing, its the closest to death ill get, its peace.

i broke my leg 3 years ago at a trampoline park, ever since then ive been in constant pain every single day, bad excruciating pain, im on strong opioid painkillers to try and control the pain, im on Tramadol, codeine and naproxen every day, and im still in pain, i cant straighten my leg, i cant walk properly. ive had surgery on it, ive done physio and it isn't helping, im stuck like this, im stuck in pain every single day and there is nothing they can do.

so you wanna know how i feel every day, inside my head im fighting a war, fighting myself, trying to find a reason to go on to get through another shitty day on this earth with things never getting any better, im tired of being alive, fed up of being someone that when things start going right or better, something rips it out from under me and pulls me back down even worse then before. im terrified of being happy, im terrified of good things. do you know what its like to be scared of just being happy, what its like being scared when you meet someone good, or make a friend.everyday im looking for something to make me feel something, because honestly now, i feel absolutely nothing, i feel empty. nothing affects me anymore, nothing gets me low, gets me sad. everything is being taken from me. all this shit, my life has taken everything from me and the only thing that is left for this shitty life to take is my beating heat and my conscience. and im not sure how long i can hold out for, and the only reason i am is for the 1 or 2 people that actually care, they may not be close but i know it will hurt them. and i dont want them going through that.

i would do anything to be a dad i wanna be one so bad, in my head anyway, in reality im terrified to have kids, i am terrified they will turn out like me, im scared they will go through this, im scared they will get the same thing as me, i wouldn't want anyone to live with this, i know that i dont. i defiantly would never want my own child too,

i need help, but i dont know what will, i dont know what can help. i think im too far gone and its too late.

my life is and endless series of train-wrecks, only i have no intervals of happiness, i have no happiness or even anything close. just when i dont think things can get worse they do.

everything one way or another fucks me over, everything one way or another at some point hurts me, /// i dont think some people are ment to be happy, and i am one of them. some people are ment to suffer. and i dont know how much more i can take. i dont see what more could happen, but im sure it will. and im waiting for the day it gets too much. i dont even know how i got this far.

I know that no one cares, not about this, not about me. but its ok.

im used to it. this is my life. this is my normal. this is the real me ...

But this face smile, this mask ... this is what everyone else sees, ...

#mylife #my story #story #my life #life #me #self #myself #depression #suicidal #suicide #sad #lonely #you are not alone #depressed #selfie

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jj-ktae · 6 years

Text

GOT7 In Paris Experience !

First of all and before I start fangirling, let me tell you one thing : GOT7 LIVE IS DAMN LIT IT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND.

Let me start with the beginning.

It all began when our plane landed. I was with my sister and we were supposed to meet @jaebeomsmullet at the airport, which was a day before the concert.

It was kind of crazy that our plane landed 2 hours before GOT7’s flight. We were on GATE 2D and GOT7 were supposed to arrive at GATE 2F which is like, super close. We initially had to go to our Airbnb but you know, people were waiting for them and I thought it would be cool to have just a tiny look. Never thought we’d actually see them this CLOSE later!

It was insane. Yes. Everyone was running around, yelling, pushing, and I was so shocked to see this. I was able to see them before they walked out of the airport.

Actually an old lady, who was waiting for her daughters to see GOT7, came to us and told us “hey, why are you waiting here, they are right there!” while pointing another direction. I was like “meh, she must be mistaken.” But still I told my sis and Jen to wait for me wait and followed her and BOOM, this old lady took me to GOT7. Like, she just pointed and they were there, and no one had seen them yet and I was like “WTH THIS IS GOT7” lol So I texted my sis so she could bring Jen because they were still waiting near the gates.

It was nice, I asked the security to move from in front of them so I could take pictures and they just went “oh, sorry, there you go.” And walked away lmao. I mostly watched them after I took a couple of pictures, too ashamed to take more, especially when Jackson looked up and saw me haha (at this moment he instantly became a HUGE BIAS WRECKER, ASK JEN.)

So they walk to the Gate’s doors and this is when everyone runs and goes wild. We just walk away, thinking they will escape the opposite way but they lowkey just walk toward us as they were taking the same exit and I just remember watching Jinyoung in his “Parisien” outfit, in awe, while yelling to Jen ‘DON’T MOVE THEY WILL CRUSH YOU” lol I saw all the fangirls and fansites run toward us and I thought we were going to die lmao.

This is when I start realizing I just saw GOT7 and I barely landed in Paris lol. I have my luggage and pictures/videos of GOT7 (Bambam and Yugyeom waved at us before people noticed them but I was watching Jinyoung so I only saw when I watched the video I took with Jen on the way to the Airbnb lol).

Then my friends tell us people are ALREADY queueing in front of Le Zenith and I’m like WTF I need to be front raw I didn’t come all the way here for that and Jen, who had CAT A tickets needed to be close IT WAS MY DUTY TO LET HER SEE HER MULLET OKAY, I PROMISED HER.

So, later that day, and after a lot of anxiety and panic, we end up in front of the concert hall AT 11PM THE DAY BEFORE THE CONCERT. It’s raining, everyone’s wild, the park around the venue is DANGEROUS AT NIGHT but who cares, we grab survival blankets (Jen falls asleep at some point while I cover her body from the cold lol) and we good for the night. It was honestly crazy, we ended up running around because we needed to pee in this dark place at 4am, full of drunken men (the French Fanbase had to call the police at some point as men were fighting) well, I’ll spare you the details but this night was wild but we had our numbers. I was number 32 in the VIP section and Jen was 39 (I guess ?) in the CAT A section. So far everything’s good and I know I’ll be front raw, Jen will be close, and everything will be alright.

At 7am, we get our last numbering and go back to the Airbnb BUT OH WELL I get a call at 9 telling us to come back because the venue’s security decided to do another numbering and we can lose our numbers? At this point we’re sleep deprived, starving, in need of energy but we have to run back there? Thank god our Airbnb is like 8 mins from the concert or else I would have gone NUTS.

So we go back, I tell Jen to survive and fight if needed (fangirls are MEAN. Let me tell you, everyone was fighting.) The VIP section was a mess and the CAT A was WORSE.

Around 12pm. THE GUY FROM MMT (JIN) SHOWS UP, FINALLY. AND HE TELLS US WE WILL KEEP OUR NUMBERS. Thumbs up to Jin-ssi, I also sent him hearts. My boi.

At some point, Jen is lost into the CAT A crowd and I have no way to find her because the sections are separated and CLOSED. My final number is 51 (they added the TOP 10 tastemakers who had TWO VIPS TICKETS + Two handicapped people who had to enter to before us). They tell us to come back at 3PM because they will start organizing people since the High Touch will be BEFORE THE CONCERT. Like we needed to die before they even start singing lol.

Jen is nowhere to be seen. The last message I get from her is “People are fighting” And I’m like Damn it will she die before she sees her mullet.

SPOILER : SHE SURVIVED.

I grab my bracelet with my official entrance number and go back to the Airbnb because I had slept outside and had to come back before I even took a shower. I literally feel like shit.

We had enough of the bullshit at some point lol. But when we come back and have to wait again, Mark, Jaebum and Youngjae appear and run down the building’s stairs while laughing lol

SO NOW ON TO THE GOOD PART.

We wait for more than 2 HOURS. They made us come at 3pm but the High Touch starts around 6PM.

A guy comes numerous times with a camera and runs around, filming the VIP Section while we’re dying under the sun. YAY GOOD TIMES.

We enter and then they tell us “You’ll be doing the high five with your left hand so remove the rings and everything hanging on your hand. NO CAMERA, NO CELLPHONE, NOTHING.”

They give us water and the staff goes “NOW DRINK.” GOT7’s Staff is really cool and chill, they’re smiling and happy to see us but it’s already so hot inside we’re dying. They tell us to smile, to be happy, that everything’s going to be awesome and we know this, WE KNOW THIS IS GOING TO BE EXTRA.

Then they tell us to walk as it’s about to start and I slowly lose my mind. I’m thankful I saw them the day before at the airport as I won’t have the “I’m seeing them for the first time” moment, which could make me go blank lol

The order goes like: MARK, JINYOUNG, YOUNGJAE, JAEBUM, JACKSON, BAMBAM, YUGYEOM.

Mark is the first I see from afar, he is very smiley and GORGEOUS. They looked different from the no makeup at the airport and I went blind for a second. Or died. OR both. Mark is very gentle, he hits so slowly and smiles and his sweet voice goes “Hey~" and all I can say is “…Hi…”. He has an amazing smile and isn’t that TINY. I was expecting him to be smaller but no, NOPE. He takes time to look at everyone in the eyes and I thank him for that. 12/10 would recommend.

Jinyoung. JINYOUNG. I don’t even have the time to speak because he goes “HI!” and boom, hits my hand so hard it flies away and laughs. Like, I can see his wrinkles and dimples and his face is ART. ARRRRTTT. He looks so HAPPY and SOFT. Like he is ready to be fluffy and honestly I was expecting him to be cool and greet everyone calmly but he is so EXCITED. He can’t stop smiling! AGAIN, I just go “..Hi..”

Youngjae is a damn sunshine. He goes “HHHIIIIIIIIIII!!!!” super loudly and does a very energetic high five with his sunshine self. I don’t remember his face fully as I didn’t look at him in the eyes. Jinyoung’s face was still HAUNTING ME. I just remember saying “Hey..” with my traumatized voice. I probably look stupid at some point.

Jaebum. LOL I CANT. I CANNNT. HE IS AMAZING. I wasn’t going to talk to them or anything so I wasn’t expecting them to TALK lol. The girl before me says “You’re voice is beautiful” and walks away and as I arrive in front of him he is shyly saying “..ah..Gomawo…” AND HIS VOICE IS EXACTLY THE SAME. I look at him, he looks at me, and says “..Hi!.”, leans and gently taps his hand against mine. AND HE SMILES. I MEAN, WHEN I SAY GENTLY, IT MEANS, VERY SOFTLY. It’s not even a high five anymore tbh. WHERE THE HELL IS CHIC JAEBUM WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM WHY IS HE SO SOFT AND SMILING AND BEAUTIFUL WTF. As usual, I say “Hi..” and TRY not to FAINT.

Jackson. SO yep. YEP. Listen to me, Jackson has SUNGLASSES. It’s IMPOSSIBLE to see his eyes (I think it’s because he was wearing lenses and didn’t want us to see, which I didn’t know yet.) And yeah, so far everyone had their hands up, ready to high five us but Jackson has his hand down, palm up, and is waiting like the king he is. I am kinda confused, what should I do? Hit his hand? Shake it ? NO. I am SO WEIRD, I just stop, look at his face, grin, and molest his hand. For real, I run my fingers on his palm, lowkey smirking and I LITERALLY CARESS HIS DAMN HAND. I think I make a weird, smug noise because I’m enjoying myself a bit too much. Don’t ask me why. It just happened. Then I grab it and squeeze his hand and he is just standing, not moving, he lets me harass his hand and it ends up in a sort of weird handshake lol WE DON’T TALK. I DON’T EVEN GREET HIM, I JUST CLAIM HIS HAND. CAN YOU BELIEVE I DIDN’T EVEN SAY A WORD, CAN YOU BELIEVE I ACTED LIKE A CREEP? FML. By the way, His hand felt very small. EH EH EH.

AND THEN BAMBAM INTERRUPTS AND YELLS. HE FCKING YELLS “HEYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!” while leaning toward Jackson and I snap out of it lmao He lifts his hand and I say “ᴴᵉʸ ᴮᵃᵐᵐᵐᵐ” (My soul is gone at some point, do not blame me tyvm). Bambam is loud but very friendly. I don’t remember much from Bambam because I just can’t believe this is happening.

Yugyeom. That lil shit acts all shy. He is half bowing half embarrassed. I don’t even know why he just looks very shy and red and has a bright smile and mumbles “..H..HI.” Like he doesn’t hump the floor regularly. Don’t believe this kid. DO NOT be fooled. HE KNOWS. He is also very gentle and then it’s time to enter the hall and I run for my life again.

I end up front raw. Bambam takes my friend’s crown “Bambam king of Dab”, bump his fist with us, does the Wakanda sign. We were a group of 15 and everyone had interactions. Youngjae bends to shake our hands, Jackson leans a lot and STARES. I don’t know why he stares at people all the time, but he always looks at someone. Yugyeom too. Overall, Jackson and Yugyeom stayed a lot in front of where I was, but everyone came and greeted us. I think they kinda have to stay around some specific parts of the stage thorough the concert.

Our fan projects were awesome, and we threw green balloons during the first chorus of You Are, and Jaebum looked SO HAPPY. Later he said “It was beautiful when you threw the green balloons. It makes me want to keep on being an artist.”

They were not expecting people in Paris to be so wild. Everyone was stomping the floor so hard that Mark said “It seems you’re having fun; I’m almost getting scared.”

Jackson said he will never forget this moment, Bambam said if he could come secretly, he would like to come to Paris and stay for a couple of months lol.

Yugyeom was stomping the floor a lot because he wanted us to do it too and at some point even the screens on both sides of the stage were shaking.

Oh and two of my friends made a heart during Firework (If I remember well), Jinyoung saw them and lift his hand like it was a sword and CUT THEIR HEART lol. So many of these interactions happened, I could write a whole lot more about it but it’s long enough already haha.

I was right in front of one of the security staff and I would like to thank them for being there! He gave us water during the concert, was funny and respectful and even told us “If they bend to grab your phones, give it to me and I’ll give it to them.” But no one did, maybe because people from the previous concerts THREW THEIR PHONES AT THEM.

TO CONCLUDE : IT WAS THE BEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE NOW LET ME CONTINUE WITH MY POST-CONCERT-BREAKDOWN. I have some videos and i’ll try to upload them because they’re very close to the stage but I suck at editing and I have to put credit and I have no idea how to do that without messing with the video lol :/// You can find awesome fancams on youtube and all over twitter, though!

Sorry for the typos!

ps : Every time Jackson looked at me he had the “you’re the hand fetishist girl” stare 😭😭😭

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musegalaxie · 5 years

Text

Thoughts Aloud | Jeonghan+ University!Y/N

Hmm, looks like we have 2/13 down..

Thanks so much to @junspurplehair, @bamspeach, @got7-texts & @1soonhoon again, surpriseee<3<3<3

And again because tumblr sucks, @kimji-chuu @kpopbrowniefics @got7-texts @neverclosetoperfect @slayhunnie @jungnoir @puppyprincepudding @cafechenle @rachel-daae & @causekpop

Still really enjoying writing like this and hoping you guys like thiiiiiiissss idk if this is going out before or on christmas butT most likely before bc i can’t wait BUT I hope you guys love it!

Send me who you think I’ll write for next and any Ideas you have!

Love,

-JJ

just incase it’s unclear this time, y/n is a rhythmic gymnast

you and jeonghan were known for acting more like old lovers than best friends

you would care for and look after each other like you were both each other’s children

but when it came to having simple conversations or disputes, you’d lose your train of thought so quickly bc wow those eyes

and ofc jeonghan would thoroughly enjoy getting his way

bc s w i n d l e r it’s in his DNA

but why did you seem to always give in to him so easily?

you weren’t naturally like that with anyone else or even with the rest of seventeen

the members would even say seventeen had two mothers because while scoups is quiet...

* flashback 3 weeks ago, they caught hoshi sleeping peacefully with honey butter chip crumbs across his cheeks*

jeonghan: and dON’t even thiNK about sneaking chips into your room and making mingyu clean it up!

+ classic finger wag and sassy mother tone

y/n: *looks over to jeonghan, huffs* Because you don’t do it.. Mingyu complains about you all the time! Next time I hear him complain again I’ll come for you next, Jeonghan.

svt: literally standing at attention bc nobody can snatch jeonghan like you can

(but will they laugh? nooOO who wants a death wish n o t h a n k y o u)

woozi is probably the farthest away from you oh look he’s making his way into the bathtub

short story: the sass is rEAL with you two

but besides all of the playful ‘motherly love’ the two of you gave each other

and atop the strong friendship and trust the two of you had built

you had felt something deep in the corner of your heart for a while

something that you weren’t too sure you knew how to explain

so you kept pushing it away

because Jeonghan was ‘a valuable friend’ and why lose that kind of friendship over a little tickle you’re not even sure of

“psh, it’ll go away, y/n.”

riIIIIGGGHT

you began to realize-like a slow rolling snowball-that you couldn’t decipher your feelings

you felt betrayed by your own heart

especially when Jeonghan would make his way to another suite past curfew

you were a resident assistant, and always seemed to be on midnight-4am duty

you always needed some extra time to help you stay awake and complete assignments

so you said “RA position open? Why not?”

watching his white-blonde head brazenly pass you by made you bubble with curiosity and frustration j e a l o u s y

he confided in you, and always stopped to reassure you

without missing the chance to throw in a sassy “Yes, Omma, I’ll be back in an hour.”

you knew he was going over to study, but couldn’t help your mind wondering who he’d be with all that time

you’d know in about 15 minutes

but you hated doing the hourly walk through because you couldn’t bear the thought of possibly seeing him with someone else seeing a girl in the dorm and having to report him.

ofc he had you under oath to keep his ‘unit jumping’ a secret, so you could never actually report him..

If you did, you’d have no crutch to support your platonic feelings….

and so every time you saw him laying across Chanyeol & Chen’s bed, the room empty and no other soul in sight, you felt relieved.

but they did find it weird a month ago when you started to pop your head through the door to say hi instead of just knocking and walking by like you used to

thank god it was your last hourly check of the night

you told yourself to fight the urge to pop your head in and just knock and say bye

you walked up through all 5 halls

peeking through all 79 rooms

finally making it to the 80th room on the 5th hall

and he’s waiting outside the door for you

‘hey, I didn’t want you to walk all the way back alone tonight.’

surprises you with facts about how many times you’ve covered his back and how he owes you

you’re busy chanting how you shouldn’t be affected by it that him grabbing you by the shoulders makes you jump

‘You okay? You really need to get more sleep, you seem tired’

‘Yes dad…’

you’re more than okay, you’re on cloud 9

forces his way inside and hands you his lunch when you two arrive at your dorm

‘You never eat, I swear your coaches are putting too much pressure on you’

besides being a natural A+ student (ahem, barely any effort but you slay your grades, go y/n) you also love sports and helping people a lot, you’re a sweet, campus unnie that a lot of people look up to.

relationship advice, recent homework, career advice, y/n unnie to the rescue!

but a hard-worker like yourself can only do and handle so much

so ofc many times than not, self care is forgotten

especially with your insane schedule

6am-12pm classes

3 hour rehearsals with your coach

learning new ribbon dance routines, choosing new unitards

an hour to soak in the tub to relieve your body and another to clean your dorm and catch up on homework

and then finally it was 11pm and time to grab your tablet with all your recorded lectures and bounce to the resident assistant office to get your work done and patrol the suite every hour until 4am

then finally back to your dorm to get 2 hours-or maybe no hours of sleep, depending on just how exhausted you felt that day and how much more you had to do

and so Jeonghan’s concerns were definitely valid

‘I promise, the RA position ends next week. I just needed some extra cash and i don’t mind turning in my assignments early because of it.’

‘And you won’t stay up all night completing those papers after this month ends? hA! like I haven’t known you for almost 4 years, y/n. listen to me. we’re going to graduate soon. I’m not saying you shouldn’t work hard, but you’re so close to the end, take a break sometimes? please?’

‘plus you seem more absent-minded these days…is anything on your mind I can help with?’

y o u, you immediately think

help me figure out my feelings for you…

‘Not a lot, just trying to prepare for my first performance…and figure out some things..’

‘You just finished doing that last week.. you bothered me about it the entire week and were so relieved when it was over..”

Ooh c r a p

“There’s something else, huh?”

He was peering down at you, annoying you with his prying and scaring you, you weren’t ready to say anything about this yet

Not to mention your heart was pounding like a sledgehammer in your chest and you could barely brea-

“Y/n. when was there ever something you wouldn’t tell me?”

His tone deep and words short, you knew he was hurt

Guilt pressed up against your ribs, past the butterflies, and pushed your lip out from your teeth, searching for the words to say

“Hannie, I’m sorry wait-”

Unwillingly let you drag him back toward the small living area

He shifted his weight and looked at the floor

"I know you value trust, and because of you, I've become sensitive to trusting people easily as well, but we've gotten so close, and it makes me feel hurt to think that you're possibly hiding something from me..."

but I can't possibly tell you...

the silence in the room made the air taste stale

"You're really not going to tell me, Y/N-ah?"

How could I tell you when it's YOu omg-

you gripped your hair in a mini frenzy

"What do you mean it's ME?"

"I...meant to think that..."

"Well, I heard it."

"Well erASE IT!"

you frowned and covered his ears with your small hands, making him giggle in the soft, endearing way that he does

"I don't wanna laugh, I'm upset at you."

he pouted and crossed his arms, his eyes glowing and sparkling in the evening light, his mischievous glint ironically highlighted

"I want to tell you I like you, but we're best friends, Jeonghan, how..."

his face dropped and it was at that moment you knew y o u s c r e w e d u p

he took down your hands and smiled softly

"Did you really think I couldn't hear through your little fingers, Y/N?"

he tugged you close and smiled

"I wanted to confess first, I'm still upset at you."

"oH my goodness, Jeonghan, you're such a baby."

he pecked your lips and your little dorm began to spin

"But I'm Y/N's baby."

he said, in the softest, most cringey-baby agyeo voice 🙄

You cupped your best-boyfriend's cheeks, smiling at his puppy-dog eyes and knowing you might want to kill him, but he was the best one to go on this journey with.

#jeonghan #bullet style #jindongdongiewrites #jindongdongie #university!au #univerity!y/n #svt #yoon jeonghan #Hannie #jindongfics #gimmie feedback!#seventeen fluff #seventeen #seventeen jeonghan #seventeen jeonghan fic #fluffy

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haroldsguccisuit · 6 years

Text

College Lounge

Or Y/N’s roomate kicks her out and she meets Harry in her residency lounge.

University. Some would say they’re the best 4+ years of your life.. or the worst. Usually it was a mix between the two for Y/N but she was currently on the downside of her second semester and she wanted to scream into the night sky.

Y/N was relatively smart and active throughout high school. She got good grades, did volunteer work, worked a part time job, and she even helped tutor a few kids on the weekends when she got the chance.

After senior year, she said goodbye to her family and made her way to the airport to study in London. Her mother was not happy about her being halfway across the world but afterfall, she was the one to preach for her daughter to chase her dreams to the best abilities that she could.

It was currently 11pm on a Tuesday night and y/n was typing up an essay that was due the next day. Her roommate, Cara, was layed across the dorm in her own bed with a scowl on her face.

“Y/N, please turn the lights off. I want to go to sleep.” She grunted out after rolling over to face her.

“But I really need to do this essay Cara.” Y/N countered while peeking over top of her frames and over her laptop screen.

“You should’ve done it earlier! Turn it off or go somewhere else, I’m trying to sleep here.” She grumbled with her face shoved into the pillow.

Y/N sighed and collected her current working supplies: her laptop, her notebook filled with jotted notes from her proffesors presentations, her cellphone, and headphones for music purposes. She slid on a pair of slippers before walking out the dorm room door and into the eerily quiet residence hall.

She didn’t know where to go. It was far too late and way to dangerous to walk to the library in the dark, most coffee shops were closed by now, and with her current appearance she didn’t have much of a choice but not to go somewhere public. So she settled for the residence lounge, it had a coffee machine and a mini fridge so it would have to do for now.

The only sound was the echoing of her slippers dragging across the worn out carpet and the slight buzz of the A/C which gave y/n creepy vibes. The lounge was completely empty to her luck so she sat down her laptop and began to brew a cup of coffee to kick off her long night.

Grabbing her steaming mug, Y/N added a bit of cream and a spoonful of sugar before mixing the contents and humming as the caffeine filled her veins. Within the first hour, she got 2 out of the 10 pages done as well as her second cup of coffee. She was still purely exhausted and aggravated that she couldn’t type this from the comfort of her own bed due to her pain in the neck roomie.

In the second hour, she began to speed up a bit and typed out 5 out of 10 pages and she finished 2 hot coffees and is currently sipping on an iced coffee. She’s so focused on the work in front of her that she never heard the sound of a door down the hall opening and closing and the slow yet heavy foot steps coming down the hall towards the lounge. She jumped in her seat and gasped when she noticed the figure standing in the entryway of the lounge.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. I just came to grab some coffee.” He smiled and nodded towards the coffee machine before taking long strides towards the counter to brew a cup.

“It’s okay, just didn’t expect someone to be here at 1am.” She chuckled and pushed her frames back further on her nose. She was mentally cursing herself for her lazy appearance. Her hair was thrown on top of her head in a messy bun, her eyes were framed instead of her usual contacts, and she wore her sweatpants and slippers.

“Same here,” he paused slightly before questioning her further. “Have you been out here long?”

“Oh, um-“ she checked the time on the corner of her laptop and was genuinely shocked by how much time had passed. “You could say that, yea.. it’s been about 2 hours or so.” She said embarrassed at her nerdy tendencies.

“What are you working on?” He asked as he grabbed his steaming mug and walked a bit closer.

“Just an essay on the Roman Empire.” She sighed, “It’s due tomorrow but I procrastinate too much.”

“I see, I’m in the same boat actually.” He chuckled and flashed a smiley grin, “I’ve got an assignment for my chemistry course due tomorrow and I’m so lost.”

“Well I’ve got all night and I’m almost finished here so I can help you out a bit if you’d like?” She smiled at the green eyed stranger who she found extremely attractive.

“Oh, I really don’t want to cause you any trouble.. I can probably find it on google.” He sweetly shook his head and declined but y/n insisted. “Nonsense! I’m pretty good at chemistry! It’s no problem.”

“If you insist.. I’ll be right back.” He smiled before placing his mug on the round table nearby and hurried back down the hall to his own dorm.

Y/N wasn’t too keen on boys. She had been in relationships, sure. But she had also had her heart broken so she tended to shy away from the guys and their unwanted drama. Her roommate was the opposite. Cara loved the party scene and hookups, so as much as y/n didn’t like her roommate, she absolutely hated when she kicked her out for her own time with guys.

“Okay,” he sighed as he returned and dropped into the seat next to hers with his laptop in front of him. “You know I never got your name..” he smiled over at her.

“Y/N.” She grinned back, “Well Y/N, Im harry. I really appreciate this.” He replied as he geared up his laptop.

“Oh it’s no problem, harry.” She smiled before grabbing her empty glass of iced coffee to refill it as his computer started. She walked over to the coffee machine and brewed a small amount and poured in a bit of creamer and added sugar.

“Have you always been a mini barista?” Harry chuckled as he watched her take her seat again next to him.

“Somewhat,” she smiled on the rim of her glass, “I worked in a coffee shop back home for a while.”

His eyes were scanning over her features, from the color of her eyes to the curvature of her plump lips. Her beauty made his head feel woozy and he felt the need to snap hisself back into reality constantly.

“Where’s home?” He questioned as he typed his password with his ring-cladded fingers.

“A town right outside of Chicago.” Harry continued to admire the way her eyes lit up and her smile was brighter as she talked about home.

“That’s pretty far..What brought you to London?” He questioned, he was genuinely interested in her and he barely knew her!

“London just had the best opportunity for me here and the campus is gorgeous.” She smiled and shifted in her seat to cross her legs.

“I see,” he pondered, “Why are you working out here instead of in your dorm? If you don’t mind me asking...” Harry questioned curiously as it finally struck him that she was alone so late at night.

“My roommate kicked me out so she could sleep.” She sighed with a frown curving downwards on her face and her brows furrowing as she slid her frames further up on the bridge of her nose.

Harry scoffed in response and shook his head. “Sounds bloody rude to me..” he mumbled as he clicked away on his own laptop. “Ah, okay here we are..” he angled the device a bit so she could see the screen as well, “I don’t understand number two, five, seven, and fourteen.” He sighed as his eyes faltered over to y/n who was reading the questions in bold text.

After a few moments of re-reading the question and thinking for a few seconds y/n sat up straighter as the answer came to her. “It’s asking about Henry’s law and the end result. So do you know much about Henry’s law?” She questioned as her tired eyes met his forest green ones. He nodded in response, earning a closed smile from y/n. “It’s when the amount of gas dissolved in a liquid is proportional to its partial pressure.” He elaborated on about the law as y/n nodded as he caught on. “You just answered the question, harry!” Y/N smiled at him to which harry mirrored back with relieved eyes as he finally understood the question leaving him stumped for so long which relatively was only the wording keeping him so confused.

As harry typed his own answer, y/n returned her attention to her essay and typed with quick fingers about some of the cruel acts of the emperors. When she had finished another quick page she noticed Harry’s gaze on her causing her cheeks to flush a rosy pink. “Sorry, got caught up. Are you stuck again?” She mumbled as she shifted under his held gaze. “Just a bit.” He nodded sheepishly as she moved a bit closer to see the screen and caught a whiff of his cologne that made her head whoozy. As they discussed the next two questions Harry couldn’t help but watch the way her lips moved as she talked or when she bit her lip as she thought. He wondered what her lips would feel like moving against his own or how soft they would feel as she peppered kisses down his jawline and onto his neck.

“Harry? Did you get that?” She snapped him out of his own mind. “Uh-“ he hesitated slightly, “y-yea, got it.” He stuttered flustered by his own thoughts. He was ashamed by the fact he was thinking such thoughts about someone he just met but he couldn’t help it. He blushed a tad as he typed his answers down and y/n returned back to her writing, thinking nothing of his sudden change.

“I’m finally done!” Y/N sighed out of relief as she hit the send button and closed her laptop. She pulled her knotted hair tighter and crossed her legs in her seat as she watched Harry’s lanky fingers type. She noticed the way his sweatshirt sleeve rolled up a bit and revealed tiny markings of his black tattoos. Her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to make out what it was with only the beginning of the tiny outlines.

Harry’s eyes flickered over to her face, and noticed her staring at part of his tattooed arm and how the bottom of his anchor tattoo was peaking from his sleeve. “It’s an anchor.” He stated causing her to hum confusidly in response. “The tattoo. It’s an anchor.” He repeated as he began to pull up his sleeve a bit to show her. Her eyebrows raised and she leaned in a bit to look at the permanent ink. Y/N took notice of the smaller tattoos around it as well and she couldn’t help but wonder what they meant. “How many do you have?” She questioned curiously as her eyes still scanned the portion of his arm. “don’t reckon I’ve ever counted. Probably around 30 or so.” He chuckled as her eyes went wide in shock and her mouth parted slightly. “Did they hurt?” She asked as she hesitantly reached a finger out to trace over the tattoo causing harry to stiffen a bit. “Some of them, depends where you get it really.” He informed her with a small smile. “I’ve always wanted one.. don’t know what I want but I want something small on my rib cage or hip.” She mumbled tiredly, still tracing his tattoos. “What’s stopping you?” He wondered out loud to her. “I don’t want it to hurt.” She muttered quietly. “That shouldn’t stop you. It’s a small sting and it’s over. I could even recommend the best artists in town if you wanted.” He was really trying to find an excuse to talk to her again because in all honesty Harry couldn’t blame his tired and foggy brain for this one; she was just simply infatuating.

By now it was 4am and they were both finished their assignments and slipping into the sleepiness. Harry shared his story of horrid roommates, those who were messy or noisy which ultimately landed in him requesting for a roommate change which ended him up where he is now with his roomie, Niall. He also explained how he was finally fulfilling his life long dream of getting his degree so he could become a primary school teacher and “influence the youth” as he put it.

Y/N on the other hand was becoming sleep silly which meant she giggled a bit too much and she became a bit clingy and whiny. As harry elaborated on his stories Y/N’a giggles filled his ears and he took notice of her legs pulled into her chest with her chin resting on her knees. His raspy voice was soothing and her eyes were beginning to flicker shut even though she fought her hardest to keep them open. Harry noticed-how could he not? He thought it was the most adorable thing and he fought the urge to stroke the smaller hairs away from her face.

“Think we’ve been out here long enough, how about I walk you back to your dorm?” He suggested as he sat up and stretched out his own tired muscles.

“Mm, you don’t have too. It’s just up the hall.” She mumbled tiredly, still not moving from her comfortable position even though she could feel Harry’s gaze.

“Cmon, love. Your own bed will be more comfy.” He stated as he stood and smiled to hisself as she began to knuckle the sleep out of her eyes from underneath her frames. He noticed how her eye color was more prominent when she looked up at him with a smirk. She reached her arms up into a stretch and groaned before standing on her own feet. They began cleaning up their area in silence and throwing away the many coffee cups that littered the table.

After gathering their laptops, y/n led the way down the hall opposite of Harry’s dorm. Her room was 2 from the end on the right with the door labeled C17.

“Sadly, this is me.” She whispered to the curly-headed man leaning on the wall next to her. “Well, I can’t thank you enough for helping me out Y/N.” He smiled sheepishly which she mirrored on her own face.

“No problem, I enjoyed the company.. now you know where I am if you get stuck again.” She genuinely smiled and shot her thumb behind her to point to the door with chipped paint causing a chuckle and a bright smile with a nod from harry.

“Do you think maybe I can get your number? Just Incase your not here and I need help again, you know?” He blushed a tad while shoving his hands in his jeans pockets.

“Of course.” She grinned while pulling out her phone and they exchanged numbers quickly before putting the devices back in their pockets.

“Well thank you for walking back with me, harry.” She smiled and reached for her door key in her pocket. What she didn’t know was that he did it to ensure she got back inside safely because you never know who is lingering at the early morning hours. “Sure,” He mirrored her expression, “hopefully we can hang out again? Outside of the lounge that is.” They both chuckled slightly before she nodded her head and turned her key in the knob.

“Goodnight harry.” She whispered with a smile on her face. “Goodnight y/n.” He whispered back before she stepped into the dark room and closed the door and locked it, still with a smile on her face.

Y/N placed down her belongings and changed into her pajamas before snuggling into her own bed. Her phone screen lit up with a notification and her smile returned as she read over it.

H: I’m glad we met. Goodnight y/n x.

She sent a response in the same realm of his text and began to drift off to sleep with Harry on her mind.

For the first time, y/n was silently thanking Cara for kicking her out.

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