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#not my judgement call to make and all
inkskinned · 1 year
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she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let
and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment
and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.
and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment
and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?
to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.
and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.
you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.
#this btw is not including toxic friendships this is legit just something ive experienced MANY times now#writeblr#you ever have a friend in one of those relationships where ur like#u don't HATE their partner explicitly#but ur like. what the fuck y'all#like the weird part of being an adult is that you can't be like . CERTAIN their relationship is toxic#and also if u move too fast or push too hard u can hurt someone who is already in a scary situation so you just are like#frozen there. laughing awkwardly. saying ''haha..... yeah..... couldn't be me....''#and like u can't tell - is this banter or does he actually think like. he's better than her.#all you can do is be there for your friend and hope they wake up to it#or ... that it really IS good#and it's just odd to you#tbh btw id rather have my friends feel safe coming to me if they have a concern about my relationship#like yes it's not ur business but it also IS bc im making u hang out with them and also ur my friend#it's a weird thing to experience as an adult bc it is such a blurry line and when u spend time#around couples that aren't like ACTUALLY ur friends but instead ''extended friend circle'' ur like#.... i don't know y'all well enough and he just called you a cow. and ur okay with that . and i don't know how to respond.#so ur like :) okay. um. go to couple's counselling i think#but also you are NOT supposed to pass judgement so it's like.... this weird limbo of feeling like you SHOULD say something#but knowing you CANNOT#idk that there's a way to resolve it!!!!!!!! it's probably a different approach person to person#edited my tags bc tumblr's new system fucked em up#PS EDIT: btw i should have said:#the pronouns in this can work in any and every direction. every gender and every sexuality and every#type of relationship tbh. even non-romantic relationships where ur like ''what do u mean ur bff calls u stupid''
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musubiki · 7 months
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the crow witchs guild!! (blu, augurie, murda, corven)
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toytulini · 4 months
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terfs go climb into a hole and start rotting. animals cannot inherently tell your "biological sex" you are all so fucking stupid. All this post is saying is that animals are not infallible judges of character and some of them make really stupid vibe checks and that people should try not to take it personally. Unless youre a terf in which case they know and they hate you and you should take it personally
re that one post tbh i do want to stress i dont think animals are like magically psychic at knowing your True Gender tbh i think ppl definitely get way too weird about Animal's judgement of ppl.
Sometimes a dog will vibe check a man and the dog will be right and you should listen. but sometimes the dog will vibe check someone for no good reason. sometimes dogs have wack judgement. sometimes dogs have biases influenced by their owners or previous owners. like. there are Racist Dogs. its not the dogs fault, but that doesnt make the bias theyve developed less real, or less potentially hurtful. i dont think we need to like, Cancel Dogs Bc Sometimes Ppl Can Train Them To Be Racist, but we do need to stop perpetuating the idea that a dog's judgement of someone is infallible. theyre not responsible for it and its not their fault its developed, theyre just dogs, they didnt choose it, but that doesnt mean theyre RIGHT lmao. i think its important to stress this for many reasons but in regard to that last post specifically, if youve ever been vibe checked as a gender you arent by a judgy dog its literally not your fault. might not even be the owners fault. not the dogs fault cos like. its a fucking dog. you do kinda have to be the bigger person in that scenario cos the other person is. A Dog.
#toy txt post#this was meant to be a quick post it got a bit longer and more in depth than i planned oops#i just hate when ppl act like All Dogs have Inherently Correct Judgement Of People#like from every angle. its funny to joke about but i know theres ppl out there who might be feeling like#very fragile in their gender or smth and seeing a post like that if they meet a dog that normally hates men but not women but it doesnt#recognize your inherent true gender im sure seeing shit like that post can be a horr#got interrupted by a phone call while typing it and the post is glitching so i cant see where that tag is cut off so uh#dogs are like ppl in that they can develop biases and have bad judgement and they dont always get it right#they are not like ppl in that it is not possible to ask a dog to examine its biases. you cannot make a dog take a class on#critical race theory. you have to work to socialize and desensitize them against those biases or at least make sure those biases theyve#developed dont negatively impact ppl. in this sense i guess im morally obligated to try to learn more spanish to see if it helps my dog#chill. shes nervous around all new ppl but parents have anecdotally noted she extra dislikes men speaking in spanish. she was a stray so we#dont really know her history. she also does Not like fire pokers outside. weirdly even tho its basically the same tool she is unfazed by#the indoor poker for the woodstove? but ig she wouldve had less exposure to indoor woodstoves as a stray in Louisiana?#but i can see like ppl having a little backyard barbecue and threatening the big mastiff looking stray dog with a fire poker and i think#that region of the country prolly has a higher number of spanish speaking ppl than our current residence so the odds of her running into a#spanish speaking guy who isnt very nice are prolly higher just due to a denser population as a whole. and we think shes part mastiff which#i think is a breed already prone to disliking strangers that probably cooked up into a little cocktail in her brain#luckily shes bad enough with All Strangers that i think honestly it would be hard to even notice her bias? but. ig i need to see if i can#desensitize her? idk. sighs but im scared to open duolingo now 😭. but i could maybe do it. when other ppl wear hats she fucking hates it#i wear a fucking face covering mask that looks like a giant eyeball she looks at me a little quizzically but is fine. jester hat? fine#i am like that video of the person desensitizing that horse except thats just like. living w me. minus the cat thing. id never do that to#the cats or dog. everyone would hate that. squirrel already cant tolerate being held while a dog is out cos he THINKS im going to do that.#it would traumatize the dog cos he'd injure me escaping and then prolly her trying to scare her off to get past her and shes just minding#her business. solo i cant hold that long but is less likely to injure anyone. shadow. first of all all 3 are way too heavy to be holding#like that#im getting lost in the tags again sorry im chewing caffeinated gum. i should go try to buy some catnip#ive made my Phone Calls. im gonna try to go get dressed and buy various catnip products. maybe lure him with a toy this time. need my#parents to help me but not be so visibly Ready to help me next time cos i do not want to chase his ass again...
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juneviews · 4 months
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bruh the more time I spend in this fandom, the more I realize how much of a dinosaur I am lmao. I was recommended joong's tiktok of trying a filter called "thai babe" with a bunch of actors and. tell me why off wasn't there. gun wasn't there. tay-everyone's-favorite-fucking-tawan wasn't there. new wasn't there. singto. even fluke natouch. not even my baby gawin??? likeeeeeeee... not only was I upset bc I would've NEVER been happy with any of the results, but it made me feel SOOOOOO old like bruh, the kiddos & me truly stan different people 😂
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brionysea · 1 year
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me when there's still a "mike wheeler is good and strong and brave, actually" moment in my mike stays in hawkins fic but it comes from dustin
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tshifty · 5 months
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#hmm so idk if im overthinking#but i was out at a bar tonight for halloween w friends right#and this guy who Very Somewhat knows me (from like professional life) saw me and came up to me#and it was a little awkward but friendly like hi introduced to my friends#he was like let me buy u a drink and i was like hahaha no it’s ok#and he pushed like nono what r u drinking so i was like haha im drinking the drink but no worries im still like drinking mine yk#and the convo was just weird bc he was like randomly talking about work stuff and i was like haha ok#and then i kinda distanced right#like the convo ended after like 2 min so i talked to someone else and like Moved Away From Him#also the whole floor was full of ppl dancing so it was quite easy to just move away without being like too overtly rude about it yk#and thought that was that#and then i thought he left right#but then he taps me a while later and hands me a drink………..#and i was like oh……… ok haha thank u#and i told him like haha ok thank u! i do tend to like to see the bartender make the drink tho but yeah i appreciate it and i took the drink#and like. idk. i made a judgement call and told my friends who all were like keeping and eye u kno#and it was fine the drink was fine but it was just weird#and then the whole fucking night he’s like. watching me. i catch him watching me out of the corner of my eye#and he keeps like popping up right next to me.#and he is Not part of the group i was in and we kept moving#ugh so yeah that was??????#like#was he just trying to be nice? maybe. but my gut says no#☠️ jesus#like i wasnt rude but i was So Evidently not remotely interested in even like hanging out#so like bro……………#hahaha why are men okay anyways#it was a good night despite that#happy halloween
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starryoak · 1 year
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Me: I am a totally reasonable person capable of accepting that some people won’t enjoy my favorite media and not freak out over that.
Someone: (expresses even a mildly negative opinion about Psychonauts)
Me: I am no longer reasonable, I am ready to murder.
#i have to admit I have an extremely parasocial relationship with psychonauts#because my dad is/was personal friends with Ron Gilbert and Tim Schafer#(wrt tim less so but still)#so I feel like I have a moral obligation to stan all their works#and objectively yes criticism isn’t the end of the world#but any time someone makes like a subjective value judgement like#”oh this sucks so bad they were so stupid for doing this”#I want to smash someone’s kneecaps#excuse me those are my dad’s friends and you are being mean to them!#objectively it’s not like they read mean comments about them on social media#but frankly on principle I think calling developers stupid for not agreeing with your subjective tastes#is extremely shitty of someone to do#psychonauts#psychonauts 2#One part of why I think I feel this way also has to do with the fact I was following the development of the game since it was announced#and if you aren’t aware#microsoft fairly late into the game’s development gave Doublefine a huge amount of money towards development#and the creators have made statements that prior to that they legit weren’t even going to have boss battles#because they had to cut them out as a result of the budget issues#so I feel like basically any criticism of the second game for being rushed or underdeveloped or even like anything#NEEDS to keep that in mind and factor it into their critique#treating flaws of a game as deliberate failures on the part of developers is my berserkbutton
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sendmyresignation · 2 months
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anyway finally finished girls to the front. obviously had a lot of opinions about it. i have a lot more respect for the day-to-day lived realities of riot grrls and the underground community fostered. but like. man. is the music so secondary. my main critique of riot grrl is it took many of those bands growing out of the movement amd growing up to hit something truly, artistically great (music-wise).
#i think about marcus calling dc punk like. musically rigorous (in a way she was implying was 'macho' to a degree)#and how (1) most of the dischord stuff was still very much diy it was just naturally growing more experimental in a posthardcore landscape#but also (2) i dont think thats inherently.... a bad thing???? i guess i just dont see practicing a lot nd being passionate about your craf#as unpunk or some chauvinist methology that keeps girls out#like yes. allowing women the space to be imperfect. important! bc women arent allowed to play annoying shitty juvenile music#but that doesnt mean naturally developing as a musician and valuing tenchique and theory spits in the face of that#also of course sara marcus' perspective is pretty wack its easily the drawback of the book#she makes a lot of snap judgements and incorporates odd grudges that make me not trust her wholeheardly#lots of heroworship too.#the jessica hopper stuff is the most wild bc ive now become invested in hoppers like. career and shit#and even as someone who disagrees woth hopper on a lot i thought the book went Out Of Its Way#to shit on her in a way that kind of directly ruins her reputation as a music critic and such#and its so disheartening bc theres no grace given at all.#like again these were young girls and women- im willing to imagine theyve grown and changed and evolved#but marcus doesnt really care#or at least never interrogates that in the text itself#anyway! still positive experience to have a concise timeline and such#my posts
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simply-sithel · 2 years
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(Requested) Like Clockwork by agentmoppet [AO3]
Happily tested out the “small” imposition with this 39,374 word, 350 page piece. Nestles perfectly in the palm and has a pleasing chunk to it that’s nice to grip. Marks the switch I’m making from white pages to more ‘cream’ choice (20 lb, Hammermill)
Due to brave folks on the Renegade Discord showing me the way, I also tested out printing on home made bookcloth for the first time-- and figured out how to feed A6 paper into my printer! AND I made my first dust jacket because the cloth I selected was so plain plus there remains a fear of the ink being worn off. Learning left and right on this one... The ghosting of minor text misalignment between cover and dust jacket feels more like a feature than a bug. 
Am looking forward to doing more at this size and better defining the bounds of what does & does not work w/ the printed bookcloth. Have I finally figured out how to get at home titling that I’m comfortable with??
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honeyed-disgraceful · 3 months
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If you use men's mental health only as a counter argument in a gender disparity debate then you don't give a shit about men's mental health
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boop-le-snoot · 7 months
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haircut day haircut day haircut day haircut day
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tiarnanabhfainni · 7 months
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It’s incredible how everything I learn about Irish, Welsh and Manx history makes me wish the entirety of the parliament would collapse into a sinkhole and flood from the Thames with all those cunts in it and that Buckingham would collapse with that entire lineage of shit inside
yeah basically 👍
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sludgeware · 8 months
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i think its kinda different for everyone, like i have seen people id as mspec lesbians because theyre attracted to women and nb people and like to make the distinction that that is 2 genders, but also still considered lesbian, so they say both
like it doesnt always /have/ to include men but i dont see why someone couldnt call themselves lesbian and be attracted to men too, like maybe they like men in a lesbian way
i personally call myself bi gay because im a nonbinary man whos only attracted to nonbinary people and men, and thats 2 genders but also thats still only my same gender so its bi and gay
i think besides all the justifications someone might have to call themselves something i also just dont think anyone has like the right to tell someone whether their labels are valid or included or not, its just recycled ace exclusionist and transmed shit 2 me by now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
ohhhh I see! I've never heard it explained that way!!! I can kind of get it now, in the past I've only ever heard the example of "lesbians can't like men so bi lesbians as a label is harmful" yah
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solarisgod · 8 months
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Guys who love their system mates so much ( Micah and I )
#* quick warning of r slur mention and /neg psychotic word use in tags ///#[ ✨ : Micah and I are 🤝 🤝 🤝 ]#[ I just love my cluster so much they have really helped me a lot over since last year discovering them ]#[ especially Amor ; they're extremely supportive and loving and I just :( !!! ]#[ being a system / plural can be so draining and mentally chaotic but. ]#[ I'm extremely happy and grateful we exist and I have them with me... ]#[ and I am extremely thankful too to have supportive and accepting friends here towards our plurality ]#[ honestly from time to time we would think about the two anon hate we received in June about our OSDD1 / Micah's DID ]#[ telling us DID / OSDD aren't real ]#[ even calling us psychotic AND r slur it's so... ]#[ also had a lot of doubts and judgement from many ex mutuals who ghosted us last year ]#[ when I discovered my cluster and talked about my plurality experiences more ]#[ I am really happy to be openly plural ( online at least ). some plurals choose not to ]#[ and that's more than okay too ; but for me with some of my more active starmates' approval ]#[ we're content to be openly plural and as long as we're collectively happy and comfortable with that ; then that's all that matters ]#[ it is daunting to be openly plural and talk / share about anything relating to plurality ]#[ it's also incredibly lonely to be a plural in the rpc as we don't really know anyone atm who's a plural too I won't lie ]#[ but truly we're always most thankful for the support and acceptance from our friends here that make us feel safe and content to be so ]#[ anyways. just been deeply thinking about plurality and my cluster and Micah's system and loving us all that is all 💖 ]
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kay-is-dying · 2 years
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AHSBWJJSJEJWS AYO?
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kazoologist · 4 months
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holding bitch sessions with my friends in this program wherein i make itemized lists of complaints about my roommate and then read them aloud like a pettier and lamer martin luther who couldn't even summon the nerve to start a fight with my roommate
#personal#i realize im being definitely unfair but also consider i have to live in this overpriced apartment with this fucking soap opera playing 25/#also i realize it is judgemental but legitimately i think she might just. be a lot worse at everything then she thinks. and i realize i am#not great or a saint by any means either but like. i love this program and field. my fuck ups this year have totally been my own to make an#i deeply hate how bad its gotten (but im trying)#also hot take but this girl should not be trying to work in education at all. u complain about school being useless too much for me to thin#you would actually be effective#you complain about nothing interesting you for a career. girl u could just bartend for the rest of ur life. like at least bartenders tend t#get paid here#oh but youre an academic huh? oh that's wonderful. should we throw a debutante ball? should we call everyone's parents? should i email the#provost? bitch we're in the research triangle. fucking everyone's an academic. half the people i sit near at synagogue have phds. get a gri#god ive really deteriorated as a person since moving here. i hope theres time for me to have like a change of heart and become capable of#fucking love and whimsy again. like. i knew we weren't a perfect match but seriously im supposed to be this easy going and pleasant person#what is it about this woman that just causes me to act like this and start biting like a stray cat#i mean#i always kinda suspected i was a bitch but like. i dont like being this pissy all the time. i feel like im fucking sixteen again and i dont#even have anything to be mad about rn#jesus
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