#not my fucking parents ever or anyone no matter how much i love them

[rayshippouuchiha]

(tw: abuse, self-harm, suicide)

to child-free anon: you are absolutely valid. my mom has a similar problem. she's great to anyone who could enact consequences on her, but she made my and my siblings' childhood a living hell. it was an incredibly toxic environment to grow up in. i was regularly hit, yelled at, and manipulated by suicide threats, etc., all because a single thing ticked off my mom. the first time i contemplated suicide, i was 9. the first time i considered about killing her, i was 13.

as a child, i was convinced that she had two separate people in her brain, and i only wanted the "nice one". overall, she was an good mom. she took me on walks, baked with me, helped me with homework, and all the things a parent would normally do. sometimes she would be giddy and playful like a kid, and other times she would beat me for writing too hard in my notebook. i was deathly scared of the other half, constantly on edge for when it would come out.

she fucked me up so bad, and i loved her the entire time, because she was the only person who ever stayed with me. i craved her approval so viscerally in everything i did, but nothing was ever enough. she wanted everything from me, and i could only give so much.

i'm absolutely terrified of turning out like her because i can recognize so many of her behaviors in me too. i get auditory overloads easily, i bottle my anger up, and i have graphic intrusive thoughts that i can't always push away or ignore. my mom used to get severe light migraines and would scream for hours on end when she had them. i always think of them whenever i get panic attacks from an overload, and how much worse i would be if i had to deal with a kid during my migraines.

i adore children, but i would break any child i had myself. my peace and quiet is one of the few things i value above all else, and if someone breaks it, i wouldn't be able to restrain myself no matter how much i loved them. i know my mom despised herself for how she treated us, but she still did it.

you're saving someone by not having kids, and you're saving yourself too. never let anyone try to convince you otherwise.

Trauma is absolutely a completely valid reason to not want children, no matter the source. Just, I think it's so much more responsible to see these kinds of things in oneself and choose to take steps to contain any possible damage that could spill over onto others than to just ignore it or think it doesn't matter.

#RayRambles #abuse #abuse mention

[chrissturnsgirlll222]

comfort

highschool!chris x fem!reader

summary: comforting chris when he comes to you in a time of need and melancholy

warnings: fluff, crying, kissing, established relationship, use of pet names??

a/n: chris’ parents arent actually mary lou and jimmy in this!!!! enjoy <33

-

my bathroom was freezing as i got out of my shower, blasting music throughout my house since my parents werent home, wrapping my hair in a towel and applying lotion to my body. i shivered while i slipped on my underwear pulling on one of chris’ crewnecks and began my skincare. i was in the middle of applying moisturizer when i got a text from my boyfriend that read, “im coming over”. i smiled at my phone and replied, “ok baby my parents arent home so just go to the front door ill leave it open.”.

i finish applying my products and slipped on some pyjama shorts. taking my hair out of the towel, brushing it out and turning off my music before running downstairs to unlock the door.

knock, knock

i heard two loud knocks as i walked away from the door and ran to it, finding chris outside with bloodshot red eyes, tears streaming down his face and messy hair.

“chris what happened.” i exclaimed putting my hands on either side of his face. he just shook his head and closed his eyes bowing his head down. “talk to me baby, whats wrong” i whisper. he just keeps his eyes shut and silent sobs escape his mouth. worry grows within me as he stays silent and i pull him in to a hug. he continues to cry in to my shoulder and i hold his body to mine. “i cant take it anymore.” he cries. “take what chris.”

“them, my parents.” he sobs. chris had a long history with his parents being controlling and inconsiderate of his feelings. they always pushed him and pushed him and he always took it. i guess they pushed too far. they had expectations for him and a forceful way of showing it. “the noise, its- its too much.”

“come inside baby its cold” i say pulling him inside and shutting the door. he sniffles and we walk upstairs. ending up on my bed and he sighs taking a seat. “can you explain what happened chris.” i sit next to him as he stares directly in front of him.

“they just always push too hard and i broke.” he breathes. “what did they say.” i put my hand on his shoulder. “that i am going nowhere if i keep up with what im doing, that i need to stop being inconsiderate, i need to leave my room and that im going to end up being a dead beat if i dont start doing better in school.”

i frown at his words, “their fucking right-“ i cut him off, “chris no, their wrong. your going to be better than them. dont ever say that.” i console, “the more they say it i just keep believing it, i do terrible in school, i dont have a job i mean look at me im going nowhere in life.”

“chris were in highschool you dont need to be successful now, we are children being forced into a world we basically know nothing about. your parents have no idea what their talking about.” i say getting up and kneeling infront of him. he turns away from my face and shuts his eyes as more tears fall from his eyes. “baby look at me” i put my hands on his knees. he turns to me and the look in his eyes causes mine to pool with tears. “chris listen to me. you are not what your parents say to you. you are more than that.”

“but what if their right, ill end up just like that and continue disappointing the people around me like always.” his eyes are burning red and spilling with tears as he continues. “i always let people down no matter what i do. how do they expect me to do better when all they tell me is that i never do enough.”

my chest tightens at his words. he rarely cries especially not when its about his parents. he has a tendency to hold everything in and when doing that he holds it until he breaks. i cant stand to see him to distraught over words his own parents said to him. “chris you are not disappointing anyone. i love you and im here to tell you that you are doing enough. you never need to feel that way around me you know that.”

“i just feel so lost- and i-“ he chokes.

i enveloped my arms around his shoulders holding him close as he cries into my chest. “shh its ok, im here” i say squeezing him into me. he clutches on to the fabric of his sweater on me and wraps his arms around my torso.

“im sorry i ruined your night.” he sighs slowly calming down. “no, no, no, baby you didnt. you always can come to me when things get rough dont ever hold back around me.” i say pressing a kiss to his head.

he pulls away and pulls me on to his lap, moving us towards the top of my bed. i wipe the tears away from his eyes before pressing gentle kisses all around his face as his hands rest on my hips. “i love you” i mumble against his skin before pressing a kiss to his mouth. he sniffles and presses a kiss to my collarbone. “i love you too my girl.” he mumbles pulling me to lay down against him.

i noticed that he always felt comfort around laying down and enjoying eachothers company. i guess it was comfort in knowing he wasnt alone, or that someone cared about him. “i will always be there for you no matter what, you know that right.” he says. “arent i supposed to be saying that to you chris.” i smile fiddling with his shirt. “im just reminding you.” he chuckles placing a hand against my back . “yes babe, i know you will.” i look up at him, leaning up to kiss him again and my hands find home in his hair. he sighs contentedly as i lay my head on his chest. falling asleep with the dim lights in my room in complete silence as i continued my relaxing gesture against his head.

-

thanks for reading xx

taglist: @sleepysturnss @blahbel668 @alorsxsturn @w4nnabeurs @junnniiieee07 @waydasims @matthewloverr @bitchydragonparadise @matthewsturnioloswifey @iloveneilperry @stunza @realuvrrr @sturnsjtop @tubl-mc @lilsstvrn @sturniololol @sturnssmuts @emlovesthesturniolos

a/n for those who are waiting on snf i deeply apologize ive been on speing break and just enjoying my time away from school but i will be posting the new part very soon!!!!

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo edit #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x y/n #christopher owen sturniolo #chris sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo fluff #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo #sad #sad thoughts #spotify #tiktok

[papurgaatika]

Nothing Fucks With My Baby

Pairing: Joel Miller x F! Reader

A/N: This got so out of hand so fast, but it is FINALLY here. This is for all my Joel girlies with crazy daddy issues, I see you and I get you. I really didn’t mean for the first half of this fic to be so angst-filled, but I think the smut is a good trade-off for it in the end. AS ALWAYS humongous shoutout to my beloved beta readers @joelsdagger and @carlynkurin yall kill me with your comments and I love yall so much. And yes the title is a Hozier lyric, I love that guy. Remember that TLOU is created by a zionist so please look at the resources at the end of this fic and in my bio on ways to donate and educate yourself!! Tags: daddy issues, minor misogyny, minor body shaming, angst, Joel wants to beat up reader’s dad, age gap, daddy kink, pillow humping, exhibitionism if you squint, oral (f receiving), Joel Miller’s filthy mouth, breeding kink, cumplay kinda, protective Joel, no outbreak AU, no use of Y/N Word Count: 5.3k

Visiting your parents with Joel for the first time brings up some bad memories. And lets you make a few good ones too.

(aka Joel hates your parents and fucks you in your childhood bedroom)

Your fingers stilled over your phone, minor panic setting into your bones when you got a text from your mother asking you to come over for dinner with her and your father. Now you loved your parents and you think they loved you too, in whatever weird way they showed it, but your relationship with them was never amazing. They were overbearing when you lived with them, always expecting the most of you but never recognizing what you actually did, like you were never going to be enough in their eyes. You were a grown woman, a degree in hand, and jobs lined up, but with rent at an all-time high and entry-level positions barely paying enough, you had sucked it up for as long as you could and continued to live with them. The passive-aggressive remarks about their friends’ kids moving out and about your degree essentially being a waste barely mattered anymore, you kept your head down and didn't engage unless you really had to. Your daydreams of moving out and being independent dwindled a little with every snide comment your father made, but you were living rent-free so you didn't say anything. 

But then you met Joel, and Joel couldn’t see a single flaw in you, his perfect angel. You weren’t even planning on dating anyone, especially not someone this much older than you, but there was just something about him that drew you in. You could still remember the day you met him like yesterday. You had been driving home after taking a much-needed weekend to go see one of your friends from college and managed to run over a nail and saw your tire pressure going down. You had pulled over and contemplated calling your father, but the idea of him driving out to lecture you on being a better driver and why he thinks women shouldn't drive just gave you a headache. So, being the self-determined woman you were, you got out of your car, popped on a YouTube video on how to change a tire, and knelt next to your car. 

Granted, the video wasn’t helping you out much, and your headache was getting worse under the blistering Austin sun, and you felt the tears start to brim in your eyes as you rested your head against the door of your car. You were seconds away from sucking it up and calling your father when you heard a gentle, “Do you need any help, ma’am?” You’re not one to usually take help from men, especially not random men on the side of the road, but your head was pounding and your eyes were red, and something about his voice just put you at ease. So you sigh and nod, explaining how you really did try to change it, but it just wasn't working and he shoots you the prettiest smile you’ve ever seen in your life. “I’ve got it for ya don’t worry, it’s just a tire ‘ain't worth those tears.” 

You stand to the side as he kneels down to take a look at the damage before standing back up and grabbing the tools from your trunk. His arms were working on unscrewing the bolts of your (now useless) tire, and you couldn’t help but stare at them. His sleeves were pulled taut over his biceps and beads of sweat were rolling down his tanned skin. You watched as the fabric of his shirt clung to his belly and his gray-streaked hair grew damp from the heat, finding yourself unconsciously biting your lip when your eyes linger on the veins that strained under his arms. He lets out a soft grunt when he gets off the ground and turns to look at you. “I don't think it’ll be safe to drive on your spare sweetheart, let me call you a tow.” 

“Oh! No, it’s okay really,” your eyes go wide and your brows furrow as you try to figure out how much it would cost and who you would even call to come pick you up, but he’s already dialing a number into his phone and telling them they owe him a favor before hanging up and giving you another smile. “You really didn’t have to do that-” Your words falter because you realize you don’t know his name.

“Joel. And I couldn't let ya deal with it yourself, my mama raised me better than that.” You blush softly at his words, genuinely grateful to have met him. You let out a breath, your tears having subsided and your heart rate finally calming down before sitting back down on the ground, fully expecting Joel to walk back to his truck and head out, but are instead met with a frown when you look back over at him. “Can't just leave you here like this sweetheart,” he sighs looking down at you, “Let me take ya to the garage at least, just so I know you’re safe.” 

Quite honestly, you weren’t used to someone treating you with this much care and attentiveness, you weren’t sure what to do with it. But the worried look in his eyes and the warmth of his voice have you nodding, taking his hand and getting into his truck to go to the garage with him. You sit in surprisingly comfortable silence for the next few minutes until you decide to be bold and ask for his number “Well, just in case my tire pops again” Your words are matched with a small grin playing on your lips, and JoeL, well joel was a goner the moment you had said those words. 

You and Joel had moved relatively fast, only being together for about eight months before you were packing your stuff and moving in with him. He had heard all about your parents before then. He saw the tears that fell after a fight with them, heard the words they threw at you while you recounted to him, and he could never imagine treating someone, especially not someone as perfect as you, like that. He could recount how many times you would curl up into him, breathing in his scent to try and calm down while he ran a soothing hand over your back and told you it was going to be okay. So it was no surprise that he had a few choice words when you mentioned that your mother had asked you both to come over. “Dunno how civil I’ll manage to be, sweet girl” he groans into your shoulder, arm draped over your middle as y'all lay in bed. You giggle softly and tilt your head to the side so it’s leaning on top of his slightly. 

“Gonna have to be,” you catch his fingers in your own, running circles over the rough skin to soothe yourself. “I haven’t seen them since I moved out... I just want them to be okay with us I guess.” A sigh leaves your lips when you think about how displeased they used to be about anything that you ever did growing up, that displeasure skyrocketing when you started seeing Joel. 

You feel him still your fingers, taking your hand and wrapping it with his own, before shifting to look at you fully. “I can’t promise they’ll be okay, sweet girl, but just know I’m in it with you forever okay?” He brings your hand to his lips and presses a tender kiss to your knuckles and you feel your eyes start to water as you nod. “Now, we don’t need to think ‘bout it for a while, lets get some sleep yeah?” You curl into his side and mumble out a soft okay before letting yourself drift off, feeling the weight of his arm draped around you. 

The rest of the week passed with relative ease, you were busy with work and Joel had been doting over you more than usual to keep your mind off of things. Eventually, Friday rolls around and you find yourself in Joel’s truck fidgeting with the rings on your fingers, heart pounding in your chest. You’re staring out the window lost in the endless stream of anxiety that is your brain, until you feel Joel's hand, warm and heavy, running small circles on your knee. You let your hand rest on top of his, basking in the intimacy of it all before he pulls up to your old house. You can feel your breathing start to quicken, chewing on the inside of your lip, before looking over at him. “Wait, baby, can we go back, I can’t do this. I’m not ready,” your words were tumbling over each other, panic clear on your face. 

“Hey, hey, look at me angel. It’s gonna be okay. We can do this okay?” His hands are on your cheeks making you look at him, and you subconsciously lean into his touch. “I don’t like them any more than you do, but I’ll try to be on my best behavior, and if we go in and you wanna leave at any time, we’re outta here okay?” He breathes out a small sigh of relief when you nod, a small giggle leaving your lips at his words. You take one last steadying breath before throwing open the door of the truck, smoothing out your outfit, and letting the flowers you had picked up for your mother rest in your arms. 

You knock at the door and feel your nerves setting in again, but Joel's hand is holding yours and you feel like he’s pulling you back down to the ground again, keeping you steady. You’re both met with a loud laugh and are pulled in for a hug when your mother opens the door. “Oh! Sweetheart, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you! You certainly look like you’re eating well.” You did not miss those passive-aggressive comments at all, so you hand her the flowers with a tight-lipped smile, mumbling something about just having more time to make the food you enjoy, 

And being the attentive boyfriend that he is, Joel senses your discomfort immediately. He turns on his southern charm and throws one of those gorgeous smiles at your mother, complimenting her cooking and how good it smells in here. “If her cooking is any indicator, I’ll be asking for a to-go bag tonight.” Your mother just blushes and goes on about how her food isn’t that good but she hopes he likes it. You grin, watching the two of them interact helping your nerves dissipate slightly. Joel was always a charmer, that’s why you were drawn to him, he knew how to make you feel safe which was something you had seldom felt in this house. 

You’re sitting on one of the chairs, head leaning against his shoulder while he laughs at something your mother says. It finally feels like you can breathe like you don't have to put your guard up because Joel does it for you. And then suddenly it’s like the floor is being ripped out from under you as your father makes his way downstairs. It was like you were 16 again begging to get his approval for anything, waiting for the day someone would whisk you out of that house. You sit up straight and move your head from Joel’s shoulder and let your eyes dart to his, and he is visibly angry. Joel knows about your father, the fights and the screaming matches, the way you were so similar it made you sick, and he just could never understand how someone would ever treat their child that way.

Now your father isn’t necessarily short but Joel was looming over him, eyes burning daggers in his direction as you both stood up to greet him. Joel’s hand envelopes your fathers in a grip that looks like it could break a bone and you give your father a curt nod and however much of a smile you can muster up with a quiet “hi dad.” only to be met with a grunt like you weren’t even worth sparing a few words to say hello to before muttering and going to sit on the couch. “It's alright Joel… he’s just like that baby... let it go.” you manage to press a kiss to his cheek to let him know you’re alright, it wasn’t like you were expecting the world's warmest greeting anyway. 

Joel tries to let it go. He really tries for you. But it is so hard being nice to someone who hurt the person you love. So he brings up Sarah, not out of spite really, he just loves to talk about his girl. “Comes up to visit almost every month, jobs got her real busy though,” he says, taking a sip of beer, eyes focussed on your father across the table. “Couldn't go without seein’ her.” Joel’s face immediately brightens up when he talks about Sarah, the pride he feels for his girl sparkling behind his eyes. 

Your father is not a man who is good at hiding his emotions, anger, and resentment showing clearly on his face. “‘M sure it’s nice to have a daughter who amounts to somethin’,” you feel your blood go cold for a moment, tears stinging in your eyes as you duck your head down to look at your plate very carefully. Joel’s hand is immediately squeezing yours, bringing you back down to earth, back to him. You take a deep breath to respond, but before you even get the chance, Joel’s voice is hurdling at your father. 

“Sure is. You’d understand what it would feel like if ya made any effort to be in her life.” The silence in the room is eerie. You cannot remember a single time in your life when your father didn’t have something to say, something to hurl at you in a fit of anger, only to claim it never happened after the fact. You feel Joel squeeze your hand again as your father shoves a forkful of food into his mouth, not making eye contact with either of you. Your mother just looks between Joel and your father silently, apparently still unwilling to stand up for you. You press your eyes shut for a moment at the absurdity of it all; the absurdity of bringing Joel to meet your parents, of him trying to defend you, at the idea that you had truly believed that your parents would have changed. You knew better than to hope for things like that. 

The rest of the dinner passes in relative silence, save for a few questions your mother asks Joel about his work and a minor argument that ensues because Joel mentions his love for the UT Longhorns after your father brings up his love for the Aggies. You roll your eyes at Joel when he throws up the Hook ‘Em hands before you get up to wash the dishes, only stopping when Joel tugs at your wrist. You look down at where he’s sitting, eyebrows raised at you because you're well aware that washing the dishes is his job “Baby it’s okay, I'll just do them today”

Joel just shakes his head and pulls at your wrist again, essentially pulling you back into your chair. “Don’t think so angel, you know that’s my job,” you giggle with a small nod of your head before the both of you turn to look at your father who is scoffing from his seat. “‘S there a problem?” 

Your father rolls his eyes at Joel, clearly still upset about how dinner went. “Just think you should let the woman do the woman’s job, ain't yours to do.” Your father barks that out with such ease that Joel thinks he sees red for a second. He grew up helping his mamma around the house when he was younger and became even more fond of cooking and cleaning when Sarah was born, so it is safe to say that he doesn’t agree with the idea that housework is a “woman's job.”

You know how Joel feels about this but your father is getting irritated again and you’re not sure if you’ll be able to take another argument between them, so you’re trying to grab the plates from Joel again. But stubborn as he is, Joel does not let up, especially if it means letting your father think that he’s right. “I don’t think so, sweet girl. Ain’t the 1950’s anymore, if you’re too pussy to wash a dish wouldn’t consider you a real man.” Your mouth falls open slightly, and you try to bite back your smile when your father huffs and gets up from the table muttering something about not knowing a real man if it bit him in the ass. 

You finish helping your mother put leftovers in the fridge, save for a bag filled to the brim with leftovers for Joel, and catch a glimpse of Joel smirking happily to himself while the sink runs hot over his hands. You sneak behind him and press a kiss on his shoulder blade, letting your hands snake around his waist. “I’ll be honest baby, kinda hot watching you tell him off like that..” You hear him huff out a laugh before he shuts the water off and spins you around in his arms, pressing a kiss to your lips before letting his mouth drop to your neck. You giggle as he nips at your skin lightly, but push him off gently after a moment. “They’re gonna see you, Mr. Miller, gonna get me in trouble.”

“Is that so?” his hands are on your waist, prints from the water on your shirt. He grins down at you, eyes glinting with mischief. “let ‘em see baby, not their little girl anymore, all mine now.” He presses another kiss to your neck, finding the spot right above your pulse point and drawing a small mewl from between your lips, before standing up straight and letting go of your waist, a grin plastered to his face. 

“You’re an absolute menace, you know that?” You squint your eyes at him, poking a finger into his chest, eliciting a laugh to tumble from his mouth. You give him a small kiss again and find yourself smiling into it. “‘M ready to go home now baby,” you murmur against the plush of his lips, wanting to feel his hands on your body again. Joel simply nods and grabs your purse for you while you say an awkward goodbye to your parents. You take your purse from his hands and open the door only to be met with the sight of rain. You were used to how quickly Austin would flood when a storm hit, you had grown up with it, but you hadn’t checked the weather and this was certainly dampening your plans to go home. 

You turn around to face Joel, eyebrows furrowed and before either of you can say anything your mother is swooping in. “Well, now I cannot send you two out in this weather! I have your old room set up still, and Joel can take the guest room!” Your eyes lock with Joel's, taking in the look of shock on his face. You should have assumed that your parents would be weird about letting Joel stay in the same room as you, despite living with him, but you were still caught off guard. 

You say your goodnights and thank yous, your father’s grip on Joel’s hand dangerously tight, before showing Joel up to the guest room giggling about having to be apart for the night. “Dunno how I’ll be able to sleep without you angel,” he groans sitting down on the old guest bed. 

You roll your eyes and kiss the scar on his nose “Sure you’ll be okay for one night cowboy, I’ll see you in the morning, ‘kay?” He just scrunches up his nose in response and plants a few more kisses on your lips before letting you walk out to your room. You can hear him exaggerate a sigh as you close the door and walk back to your old bedroom. You grin to yourself before walking into your room, taking in the sight of what used to be yours. Your hands skim over your dresser, the drawers mostly empty from when you packed in haste to move in with Joel, dried petals from the last bouquet of flowers he had gotten you still sitting in a small jewelry box. Pink sheets, pink pillows, and at least five stuffed animals still sit in their perfect setting on your bed, and a pang of guilt for leaving them bubbles up inside of you. You sigh and pull out an old shirt from the drawer and slip into it, foregoing pants and just staying in your panties. 

You spread out on the bed making futile attempts to fall asleep. It wasn’t like you needed Joel to be next to you, but you missed his hand draped around your waist and the way his body was a literal furnace to the point where you had to take the blankets off. Your mind cannot stop thinking about him. The way his hand was on the small of your back when you came into the house, the way he stood up for you when your father was speaking, the taste of his lips when he pulled you in for one last kiss before you left his room. You let your fingers trail down your body, sneaking into your panties and letting out a shaky sigh when you feel the slick pooling between your legs, eyes falling shut for a moment before situating a pillow between your legs. You press your face softly into one of the stuffed animals Joel had given you, the smell of him just barely lingering in it, and start to grind your hips down on the pillow. Your breath hitches when you feel the pressure on your clit through your panties, moans muffled by the bunny as you grind your hips down chasing your pleasure. Your eyes are still shut imagining Joel, lost in your pleasure until you hear a low whistle behind you, making your head whip around, your heart pounding a mile a minute. 

And there he is. Joel is leaning against your door, when he got in is beyond you, his eyes are hungry and locked in on you, eyebrows raising when you stop to turn around. “Why’re you stopping, baby? Go on, put on a show for me.” Your mouth opens to answer, but he’s cutting you off with a small tsk and a shake of his head “Nuh-uh. Don't get shy on me now, sweet thing, keep going.” His voice leaves no room for discussion, and his hands are on your waist pulling you flush with the pillow again. You whine when his hands leave your body, and try to turn around to grab at him. He pins your hips back down to the pillow, a low noise leaving his throat. “Like you were before, wanna see what you used to do when you miss me” 

A whimper leaves your mouth and you lay your head back down on the bed, pussy grinding on the pillow again. You move your hips back and forth, breathing becoming heavier as you angle your hips a bit higher and you bite back a whine as you clench around nothing “Joel please-” you plead, looking up at him over your shoulder with wide eyes,  “want you to touch me,” A small shudder movies through your body as you whine at him again. 

He just shakes his head at you, eyes not leaving your clothed cunt, “Not yet baby.” He brings his hands back to your waist and traces small circles into the skin just above your panties. 

  “but-” You keep grinding but throw a pout at him trying to get his decision to sway. 

He swats at your ass, not hard enough to leave a mark but enough to be a good warning “You arguing with me baby?” His eyebrows are raised, the look in his eyes not one that wants to deal with a brat tonight. 

You shake your head with a pitiful no sir and keep grinding on the pillow, your panties fully drenched by now. You feel your hips start to stutter as your climax catches up with you, a sheen of sweat covering your body. Your stomach is clenching and your breaths are ragged, “Joel- fuck gonna cum, oh god- fuck-” You babble at him, words muffled, legs trembling lightly, and eyes falling shut as you’re hit with your orgasm, face falling into the stuffed bunny again. 

You try to steady your breaths after coming down from your high, eyes still closed until you feel his hands sneak around your waist and under your shirt, grabbing your tits softly. “Fuck, you’re such a filthy girl, probably did this all the time when you thought about me? Desperate fucking thing.” You groan into his touch, and arch your back into him when he pulls you flush against his chest. He grabs at the hem of your shirt, before pulling it off and tossing it to one of the corners of the room, fingers playing with your sensitive nipples. You let out a squeak when he tugs at them before he lets go and presses his hand over your mouth. “Quiet. Gonna wake up your parents, or is that what you want, hmm?” His hand dips into your panties, rough fingers swirling over your clit “wanna get caught in the room you grew up in?” 

A whine leaves your mouth, muffled behind his hand, as you try to grind into his fingers. He brings his hand back to your nipple, flicking at the nub and making you jump. “Joel please- need it” You plead as he circles your clit. 

Joel pauses, drawing a pathetic whimper to leave your lips. “Came already and want another one? Greedy fucking thing” You nod at his words before yelping when he throws you down onto the bed and pulls you down to the edge of the bed by your ankles. He throws your legs over his shoulders and you buck your hips into the air, trying to catch his touch. He rests his head on the plush of your thigh, eyes on yours, waiting for you to ask for what you want. 

Your eyes are pleading with his, hoping that you can get out of having to beg by batting your lashes at him. “I’ll be so good for you, please.” your lip trembles a bit, hips still moving in the air, trying to get into his mouth. He relents and his lips press against your thighs, his stubble scratching at it gently, before pressing a kiss to your clit, making you jump softly. “Fuckk thank you.” Your head falls back as his tongue sweeps over your weeping cunt, his arm pinning your hips down to keep you from bucking into his face. 

His tongue dips into your slit, making your back arch off the bed as your hands fist in his hair. His lips wrap around your clit, and your hand clamps over your mouth to stop the obscene noises you were making from leaving it. His fingers tease your entrance before slipping into you and thrusting in and out at the same pace he was flicking his tongue. You feel your thighs start to tremble and clench around his head, your grip on his hair growing tighter as you feel your second orgasm hit you, red hot in the bottom of your spine, and up to the tingling in your fingers. Joel’s pace does not slow down as he coaxes you through it, hitting all the right spots. “Fuck look at her baby.” He says pulling his fingers out of you and spreading your slick over your pussy. “Fucking weeping for me. I’ll give her what she needs don't worry” 

His fingers press against your lips, and you let them into your mouth, tasting yourself off of him and groaning at the taste. He drags his spit-covered fingers down your chest, relishing in the fucked out look on your face. He takes off his jeans letting his cock spring free, dumb bastard going commando at your parents' house, and spits into his hand before fisting his cock in your line of sight. You whine at him, pouting your lips at him, cunt dripping down your thighs onto your bed. He chuckles at you and brings his hands to your waist, before slipping his cock into you, a hiss leaving your lips at the stretch. “Look at that sweet girl, taking me so well.” He moves so his cock is buried to the hilt in your cunt, the coarse hair that surrounds him pressing into your pelvis. 

You try to rock against him, to gain any friction. “Joel please move... please I want it” You plead with him, hands moving to wrap around his wrist. “Gonna be so good for you Daddy, please” And that does him in. He lets out a groan and thrusts into you with enough force to move your headboard. His cock is hitting you in just the right spot, filling you up almost too much. 

You feel yourself clench around him as his hand tightens around your waist, one of your legs wrapped around his back, pulling him in deeper. “Gonna fill you up so good angel,” he says as your pussy clenches around him like it was begging for his cum. “Make you all mine, show everyone who you belong to,” his thrusts are growing messier, and you can feel another orgasm building in the pit of your stomach, and it’s almost too much. Your toes curl and you meet his thrusts as you let out a pathetic slew of pleasepleasepleaseplease before you feel him cumming inside you with a soft pant of your name. You feel him pull out of you slowly, his cock replaced with his fingers. “Said I was gonna make you mine, gotta make sure it takes.” His fingers collect the cum that leaks out of you in the most obscene way and pushes it back into you, as a shaky breath leaves your lips at the depravity of his words. 

“Fuck thank you, baby,” You manage to get out after what feels like an eternity of recovering from your orgasm. Joel shoots you a sleepy grin, before wrapping his clean hand around yours and laying his head down on your chest, looking up at you with love in his eyes. 

“I should be thanking you, sweet girl. Did so fucking good for me” You grin and look down at him with sleepy eyes and run a hand through his hair. 

“You know you gotta get back to the guest room right?” You ponder, realizing the situation that you were in. The idea of your mother waking up to find you naked and stuffed full of Joel’s cum was horrifying. 

Joel just grins back up at you, pressing a kiss to the underside of your breast before pushing himself up off your bed and peeking at the window. “Dunno baby.. Rain stopped a while ago, I'm ready to just get outta here.” He raises his eyebrows at you, sliding back into his jeans as you drop your arm over your face with a dopey smile playing across your lips. 

“So long as you carry me to the truck, I'm game, baby” You bite your lip and smile up at him as he tosses your dress at you before he scoops you up and tromps down the stairs quietly and puts you into the passenger seat before getting in and pulling out of the driveway. “Thank you for being there tonight baby.. I love you.”

Joel just smiles at you, half asleep in his passenger’s seat, and runs a hand over your knee before grabbing your hand and pressing a kiss to it. “Love you too angel. Don’t plan on ever making you come up here again though” You just giggle and lace your fingers through his, extremely content to just spend the rest of your days with Joel, not worried about your parents.

A/N: From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free READ: This account stands with Palestine unequivocally, and so— I require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this. DO NOT BUY THE REMASTER, TLOU2, TLOU1, OR ANY GAME FROM NAUGHTY DOG! neil druckmann (the creator) is a zionist. PLEASE READ THIS. AND REBLOG THIS.  Thank you for reading, and free Palestine

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #the last of us #joel miller fic #joel tlou #joel x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller au #the last of us smut #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fic #tlou fanfiction #tlou hbo #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal #papaya writes <3

[yerrmar]

𝐀 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐂𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐈𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐬

!Fem! reader child of Persephone x Luke Castellan

Summary: you’re just like your mother a loyal sweetheart who’s feared by her enemies; he’s just like Hades completely mesmerised.

warnings: The reader can get quite dark when she’s angry, and Luke is his lovely self, swearing, mentions of: war, violence, killing, and blood.

notes: this is my first time writing on here and writing like this so sorry if it’s shitty im not that good at writing, I just loved this idea and wanted to write it so bad because like i don’t know how to ask someone else to write it if you get what i mean😫

You have a heart made of roses and thorns, beautiful to look at, but if you get too close be careful not to get pricked.

That’s what people at camp liked to do anyway, just look at you. They didn’t want to hear you speak. You are just a pretty face that would never get old. Endlessly, boys and girls plucked petals from your beautiful rose garden, gently placing them into their hands before tearing them apart; right in front of your face. All anyone thought of you for was your beauty, not your fighting skills, or your love for flowers, and not how wicked your mind could be.

It wasn’t something you made people aware of. Why would you? Why would you ever want people to know about your deep loathing for this stupid camp and the Gods that ruled over the earth? They’re pathetic-you hate them, the way they feed off of their children’s desperate cries to be loved, and how they would start wars just because they can.

You hate their children too, for wanting to be like them. For desiring history to continuously be repeated. Watching them never take the fucking hint that their parent has no interest in them. That’s pathetic. Every single thing in this world is pathetic; at least it makes you laugh.

Your mother, on the other hand, isn't like them. She could never be like them. She gives a fuck about you, you didn’t even need to beg her for a reply. There was no wonder Chiron tells you that you are the exact double of her, you are a seed that dispersed from her golden rose.

You always dreamed of a love like Persephone’s and Hades-their love runs deeper than the Mariana Trench. Their loyalty put all the gods to shame. I mean, yes it was bad that he kidnapped her you wouldn’t dismiss that, it was just how they found so much love for each other. But a hard truth that you needed to realise was that the only thing you could ever be loved for is your pretty face.

But you didn’t mind, it's easier to manipulate people when they can’t tear their stare away from your enchanting face. Though it makes you feel miserable most of the time; you just wish that someone would see you for everything you are.

That someone being Luke Castellan- unknowingly to you, he adores everything about you. He often observes how gentle you are when you’re tending to wounds, or taking care of your plants, he can’t help but smile at the motions. Your heart is a mystery to him, how can a person have that much love in their body and not even a pinch of darkness?

Everyone at Camp loves Luke, he's admired by all. He's also talented at hiding his true intentions and feelings.

You knew who the boy was. If you didn't you had probably only just joined camp half-blood. Luke Castellan, the best swordsman and a total heart-throb, you found the boy to be very attractive. You didn’t mean to stare at him during training, but you couldn't help it, everything about him made your stomach do flips. The only downside is that you two had never held an actual conversation before, always just quick hellos as you passed each other, even from that you were longing for him to just give you something more. Something better.

That was till one night, his mind had been racing with dark thoughts that he couldn’t shake. Then he saw you sitting on the dock, your feet dangling over the edge. Your feet are submerged in the freezing, pitch-black water. He wondered what you were doing up so late. As he got closer; the image of you became clearer. His eyes wandered over you. Usually, you had a flower sitting in your hair, but tonight you didn’t. Dried blood covered your knuckles; he could’ve sworn he saw a smirk on your face before he made himself known.

“Are you cold?”

You don't need to look at the person to know who it is. You've dreamed of his voice too often for it not to become familiar.

“No.” You replied, your voice as cold as the chilly air. Winter was arriving, and that's when you unconsciously became more closed off.

Luke frowned watching as your body trembled due to the freezing temperature, “Are you sure? You can borrow my jacket.”

His eyes still never left your swollen knuckles, curiosity almost getting the better of him. You groan, wanting to be left alone without being interrupted at least for just a minute, but everything around you seemed to be getting louder, and now here Luke was trying to start small talk.

If it was any other night you would've been happy to engage in conversation with him; tonight was not that night.

“I'm fine.” You snapped. Luke, strangely not taken aback by this action, placed his jacket around your shoulders anyway. And you didn't stop him.

Luke took a seat beside you, he wanted to ask about your bruised knuckles, and now he could see more clearly, he wanted to ask who caused that cut under your eye.

You knew exactly what he was thinking, it’s not like he was being discreet- you saw his eyes tracing over your hand, and how his jaw clenched from seeing your injury.

First, you tried to think of an excuse; you fell. But you couldn't help but want to tell him the truth, it was strange. “Just ask.”

Luke snapped his eyes to look at yours as you finally faced him. He tried to loom confused as if he didn't understand what you're talking about. “Ask what?”

“You know what, don't play dumb with me Castellan.” You scoffed. He loved how you read him like he was a book, if it was anyone else he would've attempted to kill them for reading him so well (it would be harder to hide), but you're different.

“Fine, you got me, princess. What happened to you're hand?” He chuckled.

You'll always stand up for yourself, no matter what. Nobody could ever make you doubt your worth.

So, when a boy from Apollo tried to make you look stupid in front of his friends, you snapped. Whilst you were practising archery, he came up behind you and placed his hand on your waist making you miss the target. He commented on how naive you are, and how you should accept his offer with private “lessons”.

Your fist collided with his nose, making a satisfying crack. You smirked at how he stumbled backwards, his face contorted into an unattractive expression. You would've laughed if it weren't for the judgemental looks you would have received.

People around you gasped, and some even cheered. The boy looked up at you in shock, his nose creating a pool of blood in his hands. “You bitch!” He hissed before lunging at you.

You didn’t have time to react when he slapped you, the sound echoed across the field. His ring got caught under your eye, causing a gash to appear. You held your burning face and snickered.

Finally, something interesting was happening in this shitty camp. You probably looked insane, but you didn’t care; you felt alive.

Your fist met with his face again, rekindling the connection that was once there. This time his whole body dropped to the ground, and you didn't stop there. You wondered how people felt about your pretty face when it was covered in blood.

People came to his rescue after seeing that you had no sign of stopping, even after he passed out. You ignored the disappointment on Chiron's face as he assessed the situation, with a smug expression and your head held high, you walked away.

Luke cursed himself for not being there, how he would kill to see you get angry like that, to watch you make people pay for being ignorant. Just imagining it made him grin. “How did it feel?” Luke spoke softly to you like if he spoke even just a bit louder, you'd shatter like glass.

You’re surprised by this question. His eyes stare deep into your soul-searching for his answer. He looked at you so deeply and intently that it made your cheeks burn. You didn't answer him, you just turned away and focused your attention on the ripples your legs made in the lake. He already knew how you felt, the way you explained the story to him, how you even laughed at one point. He knew that both of you shared the same anger; the same thirst for blood that came from the gods.

He reached out for your face. Gently, he placed his hand on your jaw turning you to face, his finger softly brushing your cheek. “You can trust me.”

His voice made you shudder, you'd never seen him treat someone so delicately. “Good.” She muttered.

“What?” He asked, even though he heard her perfectly fine, he wanted you to be proud. You’re ashamed that it made you feel so good to hurt someone who deserved it, you loved wiping the smirk off the bo's face. It made you feel… powerful.

But you'd never admit that to anyone. Luke understood that, but he wanted you to know you could talk to him about things like that; about anything. “I love duelling, not because it helps me with training, or because I win every time.” Luke smirked watching how you rolled your eyes at his cocky tone, “I love it because it feels so good to get all that anger off your chest. I love how it sounds when my fist meets someone's face. I love how it makes me feel powerful.”

After every sentence, his face got closer to yours, your noses just inches apart. Your breath hitched as he raised his hand to brush your hair behind your ear. He thought you were breathtaking like this, but you're always breathtaking to him.

You could be covered in blood and he'd still want to hold your face in his hands. He'd still kiss you so softly, but he knew he'd be too hungry for your lips to be gentle.

To Luke, his whole world was grey. Recently he hated everything and wanted to destroy it all. But you, you're the only colourful thing in his world. He'd do anything and everything to keep you safe, if anyone touched you he'd kill them. He so badly wanted to show you how perfect you are-he so badly wanted to close the small space that was between the both of you.

“So, how did it feel?” Luke asked again, seeing you give into trusting him.

Finally, you smirked. “It made me feel good. So. Fucking. Good.”

#percy jackon and the olympians #pjo #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan #persephone #oneshot #Spotify #luke castellan fluff #luke castellan fanfic

[silkscream]

once bitten, twice shy

megumi fushiguro x reader

ੈ✩ wc: 3.1k (i cannot write anything under 2k to save my life)

ੈ✩ tags: emotionally constipated megumi, tsundere basically, friends to lovers, a lil angst, not actually unrequited love, pining, alcohol, typical yuuji nobara antics

ੈ✩ a/n: this is not xmas themed despite the title BUT it does end up taking place on satoru's birthday for plot reasons. megumi fushiguro your intimacy issues bewitch me mind body and soul.....

megumi does not know what to do with his feelings.

he’s never been the type to be particularly in touch with them — he didn’t remember his parents enough to blame them for whatever avoidant attachment he’d accustomed himself to. or maybe, that was the exact cause of said attachment style. gojo taking him in when he was a child didn’t help either — the man also refused to be very vulnerable around him, merely acting as a benefactor and a nuisance at best.

and while he was closest to tsumiki, he’d still built up a wall around himself that she couldn’t get through, and she knew it. she couldn’t break through it in his pre-teen years, and certainly not his teenage years when he was taking out his aggression on his classmates. he would ignore her soothing words and resent her kindness. perhaps he’d taken after toji in that way. constantly fending for himself for the sake of survival. always convinced that he was doomed to be alone.

and then there was you.

he’d met you first at jujutsu tech before any of the other students could. after sparring with maki, he’d been dismissed to shoko’s office. he’d opened the door that september day and was immediately met with your wide eyes, your searing cursed energy. gojo had found another stray.

shoko had made him your first experiment and you excelled. his injuries were healed within minutes. if anything, he felt better than he had in months — after battling insomnia and panic attacks, he felt… calm. like his brain was cleansed and that he had nothing to stress about. (until the next time gojo had gotten on his nerves.)

your introduction to his class was nothing extravagant despite gojo’s theatrics. megumi couldn’t help but keep his eyes on you after that — during practice battles, lectures, or lunch. he was always hyperaware of your presence. he blamed it on your cursed energy.

he hates how enthusiastic yuuji is about you, how yuuji tells him about how he manages to get you alone even though you often keep to yourself, and how he thinks you’re so fucking pretty, and that you’d agreed to watch the human earthworm movies with him. (megumi had refused when yuuji asked.)

he stews in that anger quietly because he’d rather die than let anyone know. nobara knows better, of course. she teases him about it and brings up jealousy.

why should megumi ever be jealous of yuuji? the boy was a freak accident in human form, with no inherent technique. who fucking cares that he can make you laugh without any effort?

it doesn’t matter. it doesn’t. because you have no direct effect on megumi and you don’t distract him during school. he doesn’t cling onto the memory of your hands on his skin. he doesn’t wish for the feeling again. of course not.

he tells this to yuuji and nobara, too. there’s one day where nobara goes too far — she teases him about setting up a date, that you rave about him, that he’s definitely your type. megumi doesn’t believe a word of it, especially because you’re probably more comfortable with yuuji. he doesn’t care to date because it would hold him back. he’s too focused on his training, on being the best, because he’s determined to follow in gojo’s shadow even if he won’t admit it. he could be the second strongest. he could be the most reliable.

it comes out in all the wrong ways. he’s more irritable than usual, so he yells at nobara instead of seething in hushed tones. he rants about how he does’t need someone by his side, certainly not you, whose only benefit is to heal superficial injuries and not much else. how your combat skills are poor, how easily you get beat when you spar on the field. how compared to him, you’re weak, so you’re of no use.

unfortunately, you hear him. every thought on his mind that tumbles out of his stupid mouth, his tone spewing wrath. you know that megumi is a moody person, but you’d never think him to be mean.

you pretend you’re just passing by, but from the faces nobara and yuuji are making, megumi already senses your presence. the color drains from his face, cobalt eyes wide.

“i’m — i’m sorry, i didn’t mean —“

“it’s okay, fushiguro,” you say softly. even after that shitshow, you’re still fucking smiling. it puts a sinking feeling in megumi’s stomach.

“ah, i got an extra pack of mochi and thought you guys would like it.”

you hand over a small bag and megumi takes it wordlessly.

“that’s so sweet,” yuuji beams, attempting to deflect. “hey, i was just looking for you. do you happen to have those jujutsu history notes? kugisaki spilled a soda on mine.”

“you knocked it over!” nobara protests.

“you put it on top of my stuff!”

you take your notebook out of your bag and hand it to yuuji graciously, avoiding megumi’s gaze and making up an excuse to see all of them later.

apparently, “later” means a week after. megumi sees you in class, and while he attempts to walk you to the dining hall or invite you to hang out, you bolt out the door before catching anyone’s attention. he has to find out how you are from fucking yuuji, who somehow gets to see you around the dorms every other day.

“i think she just likes to keep to herself, s’all,” yuuji says. he can sense megumi’s anxiety just from being in the same room as him.

“but you see her all the time.”

“she’s been tutoring me a little. and we just like the same movies and stuff.”

yuuji shrugs casually. his nonchalance makes megumi’s blood boil, because of course he’s the one who gets to occupy all of your time. of course you’re probably most comfortable with him. he knows he shouldn’t be seething at the thought of you two together — it isn’t his right. but his jealousy is starting to get the best of him lately.

“are you guys together?” he blurts out.

“no?” yuuji furrows his brows. “if anything, i feel like nobara might be trying to make a move since she’s way nicer to her than she is to us. except i’m pretty sure she and maki have been going out lately.”

“maki?”

“dude, keep up!”

and when yuuji accuses of megumi having a crush again, the same way nobara did all those weeks ago before he made a fucking fool of himself, megumi shuts it down with a grimace and a blush. he’s merely concerned about your wellbeing is what it is. that’s what he’s able to muster up to yuuji, of course, who absolutely isn’t buying it based on his shit-eating grin.

it’s annoying, especially because yuuji can make you feel more comfortable, comfortable enough to hang with the whole trio, and the pink-haired bastard has to meddle like a little troll. bumping the two of you into each other like you’re in middle school. somehow, it worsens everything. not your dynamic, but megumi’s self-consciousness.

he was already so extremely aware of you, but now he’s convinced that some angel above has tied the red string between you both extra tight. megumi looks for you in every crowd, awaits your arrival every day in the classroom and at lunch, and it’s starting to feel pathetic — the lightness in his chest whenever you’re even so much as ten feet away. his heart even beats faster at the anticipation of your text in the group chat, for fuck’s sake.

and then there’s gojo’s birthday party, a surprise orchestrated by the four of you, despite megumi’s reluctance. you’re particularly more radiant than usual. maybe it’s the lighting. maybe it’s the dress you have on.

despite the amount of shots he’s been forced to take in the past hour (three), megumi is still sober enough to feel anxious around you. though, he thinks he might be drunk enough to be lost in your image, fixating on your collarbone and the way your hair falls in your face as you laugh at one of gojo’s stupid jokes. it’s when the two of you lock eyes that megumi feels out of it, because you smile at him. you fucking smile.

if the warmth of the liquor wasn’t currently raising heated blood to his head, he’d deny the sparks that came from the mere sight of your smile, but he was hopeless. you’re mesmerizing. dizzying. he doesn’t know what to do with his face, not when his cheeks are flushing red and his motor skills are slowing down. fuck, maybe he was a lightweight like gojo after all.

he’s clearly out of touch with reality, because the moment fades as soon as it comes. perhaps it wasn’t a moment at all. he watches you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, your mouth moving slowly as you mingle with other classmates. he’s fucking fixated on your mouth — your lipstick tonight is a blush red with a shiny gloss reflecting light. megumi has only dreamed of what your lips would taste like once or twice. no more than that. he swears on it.

there’s brief eye contact between the two of you again for half a second. there’s a coy smile on your face as always before you slip out the back door of the house.

there are so many bottles around the place that no one will notice megumi taking an entire bottle of champagne for himself. he scowls at the taste, of sickeningly sweet pears — courtesy of gojo, probably. his head swims and thinks of you.

his momentary peace is rudely interrupted by the sound of nobara’s voice in his ear, asking for you.

“ijichi’s setting up karaoke!”

“there is no way in hell that i’m—”

“i don’t care what you do, emo, but i need her to do a duet!”

megumi heaves a sigh, making his way to the backyard where he finds you sitting on a tree stump. even with the dim fairy lights, he probably would’ve missed you if not for the cherried end of your cigarette.

“fushiguro-kun,” you nod at him.

“megumi,” he rasps. “just… megumi is fine.”

“oh, i get special privileges now? how come?”

there’s no mirth in your tone. you’re teasing him. he doesn’t answer your question.

(the mere act of you teasing him becomes an intimacy in itself — he had never thought that you would be comfortable enough to talk to him in jest. you’d maintained your distance from him fairly well.)

“didn’t know you smoked.”

“only when i drink,” you shrug. “ieiri-san doesn’t make much of an effort to hide her cigarettes, either. don’t tell on me, though.”

“wouldn’t dream of it.”

he doesn’t know where to look. luckily, you’re not looking at him, so he can settle his gaze on your mouth nursing the cigarette. plump. glossy under the moonlight.

megumi is not used to wanting. he had never asked gojo for anything during his adolescence, and refused any gesture of kindness from anyone. he was convinced since childhood that there was no point in desire because disappointment would be on the other end of it either way.

he’d like to be a monk about it. he could control himself and focus on his studies. never spare you a glance again that isn’t platonic. and then a cool december wind blows past the two of you, and he smells your amber perfume.

and when he turns his head, you’re looking at him, eyes bright.

“so… not enjoying the party?”

“i’m not really one for parties.”

“me neither,” you shrug. “that’s why i like to do my little ritual of escaping.”

“we have that in common.”

you hum, a noncommittal noise. you take another drag of your cigarette, which disintegrates slowly.

“what a pair, the two of us.”

megumi can’t pick up any sarcasm from your voice, though he assumes it. it makes his stomach drop even though the statement is harmless. the two of you. together. it makes endless futures bloom in his mind. maybe it’s the prosecco, but it almost makes him want to vomit. to think that he was even good enough to be beside you in your future.

you curse quietly when you pull your phone out of your jacket pocket to check the time, realizing it’s dead. megumi gives you a once-over. the jacket you’re wearing is all too familiar. like him, you’re not one to wear very many colors. but this jacket is bright red, varsity style, and oversized on you.

“is that itadori’s jacket?” megumi stammers.

“oh, yeah. i didn’t realize how cold it would be tonight.”

“oh.”

“why?” you give him a curious smile.

“nothing,” he coughs. “are… you two…”

you laugh and it’s like a song to him.

“i think he might be my best friend, s’all. why? you jealous?”

he looks at you again, head-on, your eyes still bright. brighter than fluorescents. there’s something in your irises that is meant to provoke him, but he’s dispensed of his usual cautious nature after he takes another gulp from the bottle.

“more than you can imagine,” he huffs.

“sorry?”

“’m not repeating that.”

“what, you’re not saying you’re like, into me, are you?” you exasperate.

megumi remains silent, cheeks flushed. he thinks that if his head could heat up any more, he’d end up with a migraine.

you breathe the tiniest gasp. if it wasn’t for how close megumi was to you, he wouldn’t have noticed.

“i kind of thought you hated me, you know,” you admit.

“i could never hate you. i don’t think anyone could.”

“you don’t have to pretend,” you sigh. he didn’t notice until now that your cigarette was finished, discarded onto the dirt with your boot to crush it into ash. “i— beyond the politeness, i get it. that i’m not your type or whatever. you don’t even have to be friends with me, fushiguro-kun.”

“megumi,” he emphasizes.

“megumi.”

“i’m not pretending. i… i really fucking like you,” he slurs. “it kind of scares me how much.”

“you’re drunk.”

“i am. i know you heard me say all that shit to kugisaki and itadori, but it’s because they put me on the spot and i was nervous. i don’t know how to… deal with feelings. honestly, if i wasn’t even a little drunk right now, i’d probably have left the party with my tail in between my legs and avoided you for the next fucking week, and you don’t deserve that. you deserve… everything.”

“even you?”

when did you get so close to him? if he sauntered just a few inches in your direction, he could touch your noses together. he can smell your perfume so deeply.

“it’s the other way around,” megumi breathes. “i don’t deserve you. not anything close to you.”

“what if i want you regardless?” your voice is just above a whisper. a prayer, a hymn. a wish to be blown out.

megumi swallows the lump in his throat. he blinks at you, dark indigo luminescent. the world slows down. he may owe it to the liquor and the wine, but he assumes it’s just your presence. your scent, the softness of your hair in between his fingers, your soft breaths.

“what do you want, megumi-kun?”

he remembers something gojo said. that to be a jujutsu sorcerer, he has to be selfish. he’s not sure if that philosophy applies to the situation at hand, but he’d be damned if he let you crawl into bed tonight without knowing how he truly felt about you. so, uncharacteristically, he takes a leap forward.

he unwinds the tension in his body and presses his lips to yours. it’s soft, chaste, innocent. something like a pause. he’s afraid to touch you, but you’ve already reeled him in with arms thrown around his shoulders, fingertips touching the softness of his black hair.

you bump your nose with his, shyly, and he kisses you open-mouthed. tongue in your mouth, meshing the taste of tobacco and prickly pear. the vanilla chapstick that he’d put on before he followed you out to the backyard.

he has one hand caressing your jaw and the other on your shoulder, thumb brushing over your collarbone in a way that makes your entire body shiver. you’re embarrassed at the pool of desire in between your legs.

megumi has never let himself be full of wanting, but at the moment, his veins are surging with it. it’s like a drug to him — your warmth, your scent, the saccharine taste of your mouth. your flesh is so soft, so pliable, from the way you dip towards the cavern of his lanky body, pressed against him chest to chest. letting his hand dig into the fat of your hip. fingertips grazing the skin underneath your shirt.

maybe it’s the liquor, but he’s feeling experimental — he tucks your bottom lip in between his teeth. pulls your hair ever so slightly. you mewl into his mouth quietly and he thinks that he’s never felt anything better than this. you’re wrapped up in all of him. you can quite literally feel the heat on his cheeks and both of you realize how aroused he is, his bulge prodding your thigh.

“fuck,” he whispers into your mouth, and he pulls away. only a few inches are separating you as he takes a moment to breathe. his eyes are blown out wide, black stretching across dark blue. both of you are stunned, panting, and the tension is more palpable than ever.

a rustling of grass makes both of you jump. when he turns, he sees yuuji and nobara staring with wide eyes.

“you owe me 7,000 yen,” yuuji deadpans to nobara.

“seriously, fushiguro? i didn’t think you had it in you!”

“i always had faith in you, fushiguro!” yuuji chimes.

while you giggle, megumi growls under his breath at the new intrusions of dumb and dumber.

“i personally thought you were way out of his league,” nobara tells you.

“eat shit.” megumi seethes with arms crossed, and despite his wrath, he resembles more of an angry kitten to you than any potential threat.

“sheesh, don’t summon a shikigami on them, megumi,” you tease with a pleased grin.

“i—” he stumbles over his words in frustration, grimacing. “what do the two of you want, anyway?”

“gojo-sensei got ijichi to sing doja cat.”

“oh, i’ve gotta see this,” you snort, grabbing megumi by the hand as you begin to usher the crew back inside. his heart leaps at the feeling of your fingers intertwined with his.

despite his inhibitions, megumi’s decided that he could get used to this.

#megumi fushiguro #megumi x reader #megumi x you #megumi fushiguro x reader #megumi fushiguro x you #megumi fluff #megumi angst #megumi fic #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk smut

[luvrgrlellie]

gf!ellie headcannons

warnings: smut

controversial but i think gf!ellie only really calls you babe/baby. she calls you other things occasionally, but knowing ellie I think she would find a lot of typical pet names cringe (unless she’s saying it teasingly during sex ie. princess 😫 for her pillow princess) (or doll if she’s feeling cocky)

gf!ellie who’s ALWAYS cold. that girl has terrible circulation and is constantly sticking her feet under your butt or her hands up your shirt/down your pants to warm them up

“ouch els you’re freezing!!! why do you have ice cubes for hands?”

“idk but i dooooo know i have a space heater for a gf so it doesn’t really matter”

gf!ellie lovessss hearing you talk about your interests/hobbies/passions. she could sit there forever just listening to you ramble and watching your eyes gleam with excitement.

gf!ellie who loves taking you shopping and watching you try things on. you’re like her own little doll that she gets to dress up.

“oh my god babeeee i need to see you in this. go put it on.”

“holy shit - fuck you look so good. yeah give me a spin. god you look so fine.”

of course gf!ellie also spoils the shit out of you on these trips whenever you let her.

“no really els - I don’t need it, it’s fine!”

“it’s not about needing anything. you look so fucking hot in that dress and I wanna buy it for you. cmon let me spoil my girl.”

gf!ellie who loves to doodle with you snuggled up next to her. one of her favorite pastimes is cuddling up in bed with you at her side and her sketchbook in hand.

gf!ellie who’s a terrible cook but tried really hard in the beginning for you. she wanted to impress you by preparing a homecooked meal for your third date, but it turned out terrible. she knew you were a keeper when you took a bite and tried to pretend to like it, but then immediately came clean in the gentlest way possible because you didn’t wanna lie to her but also didn’t want her to think you didn’t appreciate the gesture.

“ellie, have you ever made this before”

“damn it’s that bad huh?”

“no, no! okay well. i will say the chicken is a little under done. and the vegetable are a little overdone. but besides that it’s really good!!”

gf!ellie who appreciates when you take over in the kitchen for the rest of the relationship. not only do you whip up the most delicious meals for her on the daily, but also look incredibly adorable doing it in your little apron with your scrunched-up concentrated face. she loves hugging you from behind to see what her cute little housewife is cooking her - squeezing your hips, rocking you back and forth, and kissing on your neck to tease you.

gf!ellie who’s uncharacteristically nervous to meet your parents. you’ve never seen her anxious like that but she just wanted really wanted to make sure that they like her. she brings flowers and some store bought cookies, but little does he know that ellie’s kind heart and love for you will win them over just fine <3

gf!ellie who knows you can handle yourself but is still hella protective of you and will knock out anyone who looks at you wrong. all you have to do is say the word.

protective gf!ellie who has mixed feelings on PDA. she really likes having her hands on you so that everyone knows your her’s, but she‘s also aware how gross and disgusting men are and how they fetishize wlw. so out of protection for you she tries to keep it toned down and unless it’s necessaryyyy (she’s tired of the stares and needs to mark her territory)

protective gf!ellie always making sure you kept your drink in your hand at all times at parties.

*drunk you getting ready to put your drink down in some random spot*

*ellie intercepting it to hold for you instead* “nopeee I got it.”

protective gf! ellie watches how much you’re drinking and cuts you off when you’ve clearly had enough

just recently posted an ellie’s kinks headcannons if y’all wanna go check it out 😏😏😏😏, so i’m not gonna go into hella detail of what gf!ellie likes in bed but let me tell ya’ll this

gf!ellie just loves teasing you. she loves how desperate you get when she drags the tip of the strap from your clit down to your hole, making you think she’s FINALLY gonna fuck you and then bringing it back up to your clit again. watching you squirm and beg her to just put it in never fails to put on smirk on your face.

“what’s the matter baby? can’t be patient? need my cock inside you that bad huh?

“if you want it so bad you’re gonna have to beg. let me hear it baby. tell me exactly what you want or you’re not getting it.” she lives to make you say every little dirty thing you want her to do to you, out loud, several times until she finally gives in. but if you do as she says she’d literally do anything you want. obsessed with you is what that girl is

loves hearing you moan and whine and beg her to fuck you but also loves covering your mouth with her hand or stuffing your panties into your mouth to shut you up. and then trying to make you talk to her when you clearly can’t.

“what’s that? sorry babe i can’t understand you.”

gf!ellie is possessive asf during sex too. whatever she’s calling you, she’s putting my in front of it. like….

“MY good girl”

“MY pussy”

“MY little slut” 😋

gf!ellie is just the bestest ever, always putting her girl first and treating her like a damn queen :)

honestly I could write so many more of these and i didn’t know where to stop so lmk if you want a part 2!!

xoxo,

a ;)

#ellie williams #ellie williams smut #ellie tlou #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #ellie williams drabble #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams headcanons #ellie williams x female reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie x you #ellie rose #ellie x y/n #ellie williams x y/n

[lewisvinga]

favorite girls | alex albon x fem! reader x lily muni he!

summary; after y/n says a special fact about her relationship with alex and lily, everyone seems to misinterpret it as her getting in between their relationship. luckily, her boyfriend, girlfriend, and their grid friends are always there to defend her.

fc; emilia mernes

warnings; slut shaming, cursing

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs

note; requested ! i love me some alex n lily

masterlist !

liked by yourusername, lilymhe, and others!

alex_albon: my favorite girls. both of them, always and forever. ( p.s. lily and i made the FIRST move before she realized we loved her after manyyyyy hints and tries )

tagged; yourusername, lilymhe

lilymhe: y/n is such a pretty angel then you added a pic of me in pjs and w my dino

alex_albon: ‘that’s my y/n dino i can’t leave her🥺🥺’

yourusername: AWE LILSSSS

lilymhe:we gave her so many hints and it wasn’t until we kissed her that she finally realized 🕊️🕊️

alex_albon: she’s so stupidly cute 😞😞

yourusername: to be fair, lily is just super affectionate and alex is flirty without trying , how was i supposed to know🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

landonorris: when drunk alex and lily kept ranting to me about how much they love you while you were right next to me???

yourusername: i too was tipsy , norris !

yourusername: love u both sm💖💖 my fave ppl in the whole wide world 🥹🫶

alex_albon: love you both so much too❤️

lilymhe: AWEE I LOVE YOUU BOTH🥹

username: now i see why y/n said lily is like a puppy

username: #y/ndefenderuntildeath liked by alex_albon & lilymhe!

username: they’re so goals

username: the way they both pulled a bad bitch like y/n really had y’all questioning if they made the first move or not 😭

username: y/n honestly has looked happier ever since dating them! and even her aesthetic has been sm more colorful!

username: my parents 😖

landonorris: love u guys n all but u guys are gross

yourusername: aweee landooo ( ignoring the last part )

alex_albon: he’s just jealous i have 2 pretty gfs and he has none!

landonorris: LEAVE ME ALONE

username: lily and y/n give me a gay panic

username: idk if i wanna be them or be with them

username: u guys need a fourth?? or a dog??? or a cat??😁😁

username: i still don’t like y/n. she gives me such an ick. swear she just ruined their relationship.

landonorris: well you give me the ick but you don’t see me commenting on your posts! y/n has made lily and alex very happy, so please fuck off.

georgerussell63: y/n is such a sweet girl, ask carmen, or literally anyone else on the grid! she’s loved by all of us and most importantly, alex and lily love her. frankly, your opinion doesn’t matter!

charles_leclerc: we don’t know you so it seems like your comment is irrelevant 😊😊😊 you clearly don’t know alex or lily well enough to know how happy they are with her! keep your irrelevant opinions to yourself next time 😁

lilymhe: yeah, what they said!

yourusername: awh, my boyfriends boyfriends are so nice 🩷

alex_albon: gross lando isn’t my boyfriend

landonorris: u know u want to baby😘😘

alex_albon: stay away from me norizz ❌

georgerussell63: so i’m your bf? 😦

charles_leclerc: and me?😧

lilymhe: that makes carmen and alexandra our gfs LETS GOOO🙌🙌

carmenmmundt: LETS GOO🤗

alexandrasaintmleux: GIRLIES FTW🎉🎉🎉

yourusername: i like this comment thread 😊

#formula one x reader #f1 x reader #f1 smau #f1 scenario #formula one scenarios #f1 imagine #formula one imagines #formula one imagine #f1 scenarios #formula one social media au #alex albon smau #alex albon scenarios #alex albon x reader #lily muni he x reader

[youmakemyhearthowl]

Steve sometimes worried, well okay he worried all the time, but sometimes he worried specifically that he was doing the same thing to Eddie that he’d done to Nancy. 

Although he wasn’t really sure exactly what he’d done wrong with Nancy. But it seemed reasonable that it was his fault. He wasn’t the best back then, even if he tried really hard to be for her.

It’s just, sometimes it seems like Eddie gets a similar look on his face, a similar look to the one Nancy would make when she’d tell him he needed to chill out, stop smothering her so much. When she’d told him he was bullshit. And he can’t really be sure, Robin tells him all the time he’s terrible at reading facial emotions when he’s worried, but it seems like the same look. And he’s worried, terrified really, that he’s going to ruin whatever it is he’s building with Eddie before they’ve even really started.  So he goes to the smartest person he knows (besides Dustin) and the only person he’s ever loved like this.

He goes to Nancy.

And she doesn’t tell him what he wants to hear, doesn’t sugar coat it or make it sweet. She practically rips his heart out and stomps on it, but it’s why he went to her in the first place. Nancy is honest.

“Well sometimes Steve, you’re a little much you know? Clingy and loud with your love, it’s a bit embarrassing to be on the receiving end of it a lot of the time, and maybe you’re making him uncomfortable with it.” 

And well- that makes sense really.

Too much but never enough is what he’s always been. To his parents, his peers, Steve doesn’t know how to love halfway because he was never shown the right way to love. He only knows the way to make someone feel unloved and he refused to ever let anyone feel that way if he cared.

So he pulls back, not much at first cause it’s hard to not love Eddie loudly, but slowly he thinks he gets the hang of it. Clings less, acts less giddy, pulls his feelings in really tight and tucks them into his rib cage where they can’t get out. And Eddie stops making that face. 

He makes a new one now.

This one makes Steve’s skin crawl and nausea pull in his stomach, but he can’t place the emotion it is, has no idea. But Eddie makes it in the places where Steve would have been louder before. Makes it when he looks at Robin and thinks Steve isn’t looking at them. Makes it when Steve makes himself smaller. 

He doesn’t know what the face means, and he’s more worried now than he was before, because Robin has taken to making the face at him too, and really it was only a matter of time before he exploded about it. 

“Okay what is that face? I don’t know what that face means, please for the love of god what does that face mean?” His voice is loud and desperate when he grabs her shoulders, the surprise from her erases the facial expression he hates so much, but he knows it was there. 

“This is just my face, Steve.” She smirks slightly at him, he can tell she knows he’s being serious, but he also knows Robins never been good with serious unless the world is ending, so he tries to hold in his irritation. 

“The one you make every time Eddie’s brought up now. The same one he makes at me all the time. I thought I was being better you know? I tried really fucking hard to not be too much to him all the time and I thought it worked cause he stopped- he stopped looking at me a certain way. But now there’s a new face and your face also adopted the face and I’m at a loss.” He breathes heavily, leaning out of Robin's space and running his hand through his hair before bringing it down to pinch the bridge of his nose. He can feel a slight moisture there and it’s more than a little embarrassing that he’s trying not to cry about a facial expression, but fuck it, it’s Robin.

“Steve, what do you mean by being better?” It’s the sorrow he can detect in her voice that really brings the tears to the surface now, and he pinches the bridge of his nose harder, willing them to go away, but they fall anyways. 

“I’m too much you know? When I love someone. Too loud about it, too clingy, people don’t like that and I didn’t want to scare Eddie off. Cause I get it now, people won’t ever be able to love me when I love them like that so I have to be quieter, less… obnoxious.” His voice gets softer but the words feel rougher to push out of his throat the more he talks. And he can’t stand to look at her, can’t stand to look up, can feel the shame and embarrassment fucking breaking him. 

“Who the fuck told you that?” The voice that speaks now, is not, in fact, Robin. But deeper and filled with a harsh sharpness that causes Steve to flinch slightly. 

And of course, of course Eddie would walk in and hear this pathetic ramble about how little Steve Harrington loved so much that it scared off everyone else. It’s really just the icing on the shit cake that is his life lately.

He doesn’t want to, but he looks up.

He looks up just in time to see Robin place her hand on Eddie’s shoulder, looks up slowly enough to see the tremble in Eddie’s hands that never really went away after Vecna. 

“No one had to tell me. I could see it on your face every time I was too much, Nancy used to get the same expression. Near the end.”  Eddie scoffs a bit, not moving forward but not moving away as Robin steps closer to Steve, reaching her hand out to take his gently. 

“Steve,” it’s strained in a way Steve’s never heard his name from Eddie before, tight and clipped, “Whatever face you thought you were seeing before, wasn’t like- fuck,” he shakes his head slightly tugging at the strands of his hair with one hand, “It was awe Steve. Every goddamn time you loved me loudly like that, I was in awe, and maybe a bit confused because people don’t- people don’t love like that. People don’t love me like that, and queer people really don’t ever show that kind of love that openly. I was in awe, Steve.” 

Which- was not the answer Steve had braced for, and he can feel all the air leave his lungs harshly, slumping his shoulders down, and looking away from the two people in front of him. Robin squeezes his hand gently.

“And the look you see now isn’t something bad directed at you. Never directed at you. Steve, it was hurting us to watch you make yourself smaller and we had no idea why or what happened. You’re literally my capital P soulmate Steve, the way you love makes me happy, overwhelmed in the most wonderful way I’ve never experienced before. Because Eddie’s right, people don’t love like you. But that’s not a bad thing. God it’s so far from a bad thing.” Steve can see where Eddie’s moved closer now, his Reeboks coming into view next to Robin's red chucks. 

“There’s no one quite like you Steve Harrington. And any look you get from me, unless it’s about your music taste, it’s always a positive one. Your ‘too much’ is so much more than enough.” 

Steve can really feel the tears falling now, doesn’t even try to stop them this time because this- this right here is what being loved loudly feels like. This right here is everything he’s been searching for his whole life, and they’ve been trying to tell him that for weeks, probably months at this point.

He can feel them surrounding him, Eddie against his back and Robin pressed to his chest, their arms looping him and each other as they hug him, and love him, for being who he’s always tried to be. Who he’s been pushing to become since he realized he hated who he was. 

“There is never anything wrong with being loud about your love. Something that’s too much for someone else, will be exactly enough for the right person. Everyone needs to be loved differently and everyone shows love differently, Steve. But the right people for you will fucking cherish the way you love.” Eddie breaths into his ear, and Steve can feel a part of himself click back together again. 

So yea, Steve worries sometimes, that he’s too much, that he’s never enough, but Robin and Eddie, they’ll always be there to remind him he’s just right for them.

#Steddie #platonic stobin #steve is a sweetheart

[samandcolby-ownme]

Summary: Kooks and Pogues don't really get along, but reader and Rafe make it work.

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, fluff - Rafe is super clingy with you, secret relationship, flirting, secret texting, pogue!reader with possibly divorcing parents, kissing, lying to friends, sneaking off at a party, phone sex, masterbation, choking, biting, scratching, hair pulling, unprotected sex, filth 

Word count: 4.9k | unedited 

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

You lay on your bed, smiling and giggling as you text back and forth with your very secret kook boyfriend, Rafe. 

Yeah, yeah. Kooks and Pogues, they don't get along, blah blah. 

But you and Rafe do.

Cannot wait to see you tonight, my beautiful girl. Did you pick out a dress for the party yet? 

You bite down on your bottom lip, typing back a response to Rafe, Wouldn't you like to know, lover boy. 

You tuck your phone back into your pocket and look up just as Kie walks in the door, "So tell me how we managed to get an invite to Sarah's party." 

You sigh, "Okay. But you have to promise you won't get upset or tell anyone I told you." 

She nods, "Ohh I like where this is going." She sits down on your bed, "Tell me." 

"John B and Sarah are secretly seeing each other." You stare at her and she laughs, "What?" 

You nod, "The only reason I know that is because I went over to hang out with John B and.. they must have lost track of time." 

"Oh Jesus." Kie shakes her head, "I actually don't like where this is going." 

You laugh slightly, "Yeah, I was actually shocked when I seen them, but honestly, after talking to them before she left." You shrug, "They seem to be really happy sigh each other." 

Kie rolls her eyes, "Oh yeah. I'm sure." 

You chew on your lip as your phone is one new message away from the secret you're hiding, too. 

"Just.. let him tell you. Don't tell him I told you." You laugh, "As crazy at it seems, it seems to work." 

"John B and Sarah Cameron?" She raises her brows, "That's just.. crazy to me. That would be like rafe and you." 

Your heart skips a beat and you quickly push out a laugh, "Please." You roll your eyes, "Me and Rafe? That would never work, even if I wanted it to." 

Kie looks at you and at this point, your heart is about to fall out of your ass. 

She tilts her head, "I mean, I can say that Sarah is better than Rafe, I mean." She laughs slightly, "he's a psychopath." You force a laugh because you know that isn't true, for you at least. 

Rafe is, literally on his hands and knees begging to see you. 

He's good morning texts and last person you talk to before you go to sleep. 

He's nothing like the Rafe they know. 

Polar opposite. 

"so I guess.. I'm just glad it's them two over the other option." Kie says and you look at her, "Oh yeah." You try not to seem nervous, "I'm happy for them, really." 

She checks her phone, "Shit. I gotta go meet JayJ." She stands up, "I'll pick you up later? We can go to the party together." 

You nod, "Okay." You watch as she leaves your room and you pull your phone out after hearing the front screen door shut. 

A smirk grows across your lips as you read, Please. I miss my girl so much right now. 

You get up, walking over to your closet as you type, Things been stressful lately? 

You always loved how fast Rafe answers you. 

No matter what he's doing, he makes sure to always answer. 

You have no idea, baby. I haven't seen you, I need to feel you. Fuck, I miss you. 

You have never seen a more softer side of Rafe. You honestly never really would, but to your surprise, you were the one who brought it out of him. 

You are the only Pogue he'd ever really associate with in any other way. You have a way with him that even had himself questioning the whole thing for a while, but he got into you having control over him, too.

He still, now jokingly, is mean to you when you're around your other friends, only because he's mean to them, but you give it right back to him. 

And he loves it, but pretends that he doesn't. 

You pull your dress out of the closet and set it down to undress. You slip it on, giving yourself a look in the mirror, fixing it to make sure it shows your cleavage. 

You snap a picture, typing a text before hitting send, Maybe you'll have to get me alone tonight so you can lift the back of this up, yeah? 

You smirk at your screen, waiting for his text to pop up. You giggle as you read it, Was already on my mind, Princess. 

You sit down on your bed and look at the time. You had to be ready in two hours. You bite your lip, shrugging as you start to type, Are you able to call me? 

A few minutes later, your phone rings and you bring it to your ear as you answer, "Hey babe." 

"What's goin' on Princess." Rafe asks with a laugh and you sigh, "Since you said you need me, too, I can't stop thinking about you." 

"Ohh." Rafe sighs, "I see. I see. You want me to talk you through it, hmm?" You nod to yourself, "I do." 

"Mm. Well you're lucky I got some free time." 

You can hear Rafe getting up to shut his door and you smirk, dragging your dress up your thighs with your fingers. 

"What are you doing right now?" Rafe asks, "Besides thinking about me." 

You laugh slightly and smile, "I'm just pulling my dress up my legs." 

"The one that I'm going to be pulling up later myself, huh?" Rafe asks and you sigh as you press your fingers onto your clothed clit, "Uh huh." 

"Mm. That dress makes your boobs look incredible." You can hear the smirk in Rafe's voice and you giggle, "Thank you, baby." 

"Are you rubbing that clit f'me, baby?" Rafe asks and you breathe out, "Yes." You slip your fingers into your panties and go back to rubbing. 

"can't wait to fuckin' have you tonight." He groans, "You're going to look so good." 

You slide your fingers down and dip them into your soaked cunt, "I'm so wet." You whisper out, a small moan escaping your lips. 

"Fuck baby, you sound so sexy." Rafe groans quietly, "Goddamn." 

You arch your back against your bed and squeeze your eyes shut, "I miss you." 

"I miss you, too, baby." Rafe whispers, "Tell me what you're doing." He pauses, knowing you're still kind of shy to dirty talking, "You fingering that pussy?" 

"Y-yes." You whimper out, looking down at your fingers slipping in and out of you, "Need you." 

"You'll get me baby, I promise." There's a softer tone to his voice. Him being so vulnerable with you turns you on even more, "Fuck, I can't wait to feel it."

You grind your hips even more and gasp out, "R-Rafe." You whimper out, "S-so close." 

"Come on baby." He sighs, "Just think about how good I'm going to feel inside of that tight little pussy tonight." 

You moan in response and he chuckles, "There ya go, baby. Just think of me. No one fucks you like I do, yeah?" 

"Fuck." You gasp out, knowing that he's right. 

"Go on baby, say it." Rafe encourages and you pause as you think you hear the front screen door open and slam shut. 

You gasp, whispering quickly, "Gotta go." 

"Love you." Rafe says quickly and you smile, voice still low, "Love you." 

You pull your dress down and stand up, locking your phone before walking towards the door, "Hello?" 

"Oh it's just me, honey." Your mom yells and you sigh, "Thank god." You whisper, you lean out yelling back, "Okay." 

You walk back into your room and sit back down on the bed, texting Rafe, Sorry. I heard someone come in. Wasn't sure who it was, but it was just my mom. 

You sit up, moving over to start getting around for Sarah's party. 

As you're doing your makeup, your phone goes off and you lean over to grab it. You smile as you see Rafe's name, Its all good, princess. Sarah came in asking me to move stuff right after we hung up. 

You let out a sigh, Perfect timing then right? 

You set your phone down and continue to get ready. 

As you finishes getting around, you get a text from Kie, On my way. I'll let you know when I'm there. 

You nod to yourself, I'm ready to go.

You stand up and walk over to grab your shoes. Once they're on, you make your way outside to wait. 

As Kie pulls up, the boys lean out of the windows and yell at you. You laugh as you walk up to the passenger side of the car. Jj climbs into the back, giving you the seat. 

"Aww." You say getting in and looking back at JJ, "How sweet of you." 

He shrugs, "Ehh. Don't mention it." 

You laugh and look at Kie, "Ready?" She asks giving you a thumbs up. You give her a thumbs up, "Hell yeah!" 

You arrive to the party, parking next to the other cars. You get out, walking around and you look at the others as they gather, "So, what's the plan for if we get asked on why we're here?" 

Your eyes move to John B and he shrugs. You nod, "Well just say that Sarah invited  Kie and I and she said we can bring the others?" 

They all look at each other and then back to you, "Sounds good to me." John B says and you all follow him towards the house. 

You walk in, looking around for Rafe. You don't see him anywhere as you follow Kie. You make your way to the back and outside. 

You managed to get drinks and you're finally able to get a sip. 

"This place is packed." You say as you look around, a smirk instantly taking place on your lips as your eyes land on Rafe. 

His eyes were glued to you, picturing what's under neath that dress. 

"It's not bad out side." Kie says looking around and the boys walk up to you, chatting amongst themselves. 

Kie scoffs, "Ugh. Rafe alert." 

"And just how in the hell did the Pogue princess and her dwarves get an invite to my sister's party?" Rafe asks as he walks around to face the group. 

His yellow shirt fitting tight again his body and the backwards head has you unable to fathom any thought that isn't dirty right now. 

"Sarah invited Y/n and I." Kie speaks up and you blink, "Yeah, Rafe." You roll your eyes, "We're not awful people." 

"My sister is in fact losing it." Rafe shakes his head, "Just don't get the fuckin' cops called, alright." His eyes move over you once more as he turns and he walks away. 

You vowed with the group to never fall for a pogue, just like Rafe did with his other kook head friends. 

But literally just one look and you were weak in the knees for him.

"Just don't get the cops involved alright." JJ mocks Rafe as he walks away, "Fuck off, man." 

"Hey guys." Sarah says walking up to you, "I'm glad you're all here." You nod and look at John B and look back to Sarah, "Yeah thank you so much for inviting us." 

She nods, "Anytime." She looks at John B and you knew that look. They were planning on sneaking off somewhere.

You smirk and lean up against the railing, "So is everyone invited or what?" Pope asks Sara with a laugh. 

She rolls her eyes, "As soon as Rafe found out I was having a party, he was also having a party, so now we're sharing the space." 

"What an asshole." John B rolls his eyes and you look behind Sarah, eyes locking onto Rafe. You tried so hard not to smile, you had to bring your cup to your mouth and look away. 

You feel your phone vibrate and you know that's a queue to excuse yourself, "I'm going to go find the bathroom." 

"I'll come with you." Kie says walking towards you. 

You walk to the bathroom and you motion, "You can go first." She nods and goes in. You pull your phone from your small purse and pull your bottom lip between your teeth, Baby girl. You look so fucking good. 

You tap back, glancing up at the door every now and then, Me? Let's talk about you in that shirt and backwards hat. You know that does it for me. 

You lock your phone, hearing Kie rustle around in the bathroom. The door opens and you switch places with her. 

You look down and lean against the wall as you read Rafe's texts, I know what it does to you babe. Partly why I wore it. 

You roll your eyes and shake your head, Can't wait to get my hands on you. You toss your phone back into your bag and fix your hair before walking out. 

You make your way down to get another drink and out to the backyard to find the others. 

You look around, sipping from your cup and you can't help but smirk as you walk right by Rafe. His eyes trail on you the entire time you move past him. 

You guys like fun little cat fights you do to keep things lowkey. 

"Hey, wait a sec.." Rafe calls out and you stop, slowly turning around, "Are you talking to me?" You point to yourself and Rafe nods, "Yeah, Miss Pogue princess." 

He steps towards you, "I'm talking to you." 

You bite the inside of your lip to keep from smiling. You knew he hates pretending to be mean, but it was still fun for you. 

If you're gonna ask why in here, ask your sister, Rafe. I already told you." You roll your eyes and he shakes his head, "Nah, nah. Nothing like that. Listen." He walks up to you and he leans in, voice really low, "Look, I'll try to hide it better, but we both know that I'm madly in love with you." 

He leans back and smirks and you purse your lips, taking a step back as you flick him off and smile before turning away. 

You make your way back to the others and you look around, "Where's John B?" 

"Said he was going to get another drink." Pope shrugs, "But that was like almost ten minutes ago." 

Kie looks at you and you tilt your head, nodding slightly. You basically confirmed you were thinking the same thing. 

"What was that?" Pope motions between you and Kie, "That girl thing you just did?" 

"You're losin' it Pope." You laugh and shake your head, "Oh here they come." You motion to JJ and John B, "Pope was worried." 

They laugh and sit down next to him on the chairs. You look down at your empty cup, "I'm gonna go get a refill." 

As you walk away, you pull your phone out of your bag and block the sides with your hands, I'm thinking about you right now. 

You smirk, glancing up as you make your way into the house, I don't blame you. 

You tuck your phone back into your bag and walk over to the drink table. You pour a drink and take a minute to stand where there really isn't anyone around. 

Rate responds, Do you think you can make it to my room without anyone seeing you? 

Your heart skips with excitement, I'll make it happen. 

You put your phone into your purse and set your cup down. You carefully make your way towards the steps and said a few seconds before you head up. 

You've snuck info Rafe's house just about as many times as you have snuck into his, so you knew exactly where his room is. 

You look behind you as you grow closer to his room. You stop and open the door, biting your lip when he turns around to see you. 

You walk in, shutting the door with your back to it. He walks over to you, "How's my girl doin'? Hmm." His hands slide up your hands and neck to cup your cheeks, "My fuckin' beautiful girl." 

You smile and purse out your lips. He presses his to yours, smooching them a few times, "I missed you." He pulls you in and wraps his arms around you.

You wrap your arms around him and let out a sigh, "I'm glad we can manage to sneak away like pros." You laugh and Rafe nods, he looks down at you, "Did you get off earlier?" 

You shake your head, "Nope." 

He smiles, "I can help you with that." He winks and slides his hand down to yours, grabbing it and leading you over to his bed. 

His eyes scan down over the dress that's hugging your body and he shakes his head, "I wanna rip this thing off of you." 

"Later?" You bite your lip and he tilts his head, "Twice in one night, huh?" You bite your lip and nod, "Lucky you." 

You lay back and smile up at him and he pulls the fabric up over your thighs, "Show me what you were doing earlier, princess." 

You comply, even though you want him to be the one touching you. 

You spread your legs and pull your panties to the side, your fingers finding their way onto your clit like before. 

Rafe's eyes are glued to your fingers drawing circles on yourself, whimpering and moaning as you press harder. 

Rafe inserts a finger into your cunt, slowly curling it and your eyes roll back as you moan, "Rafe." 

"This what you wanted?" Rafe sits down next to you, dinner slowly sliding in and out of you, "Hmm? You want me to make you cum?" 

You nod quickly, "Fuck yes yes yes." 

He leans down, pressing his lips to yours and he sallows your moans, "as much as I wanna hear them pretty little sounds, you gotta be quiet, okay?" 

You nod, biting down on your lip as he inserts another finger. You gasp, looking down at his hand between your thighs, "Fuck." 

You clench around his fingers, grinding your hips down as you rub back and forth on your clit, "Fuck fuck fuck." 

You whimper quietly, bucking your hips as Rafe guides you through your high, "Good job, princess." He presses a kiss to your forehead and stands up, "Now roll over so I can push this dress up." 

You smirk and roll over into your elbows and knees.

You lean over slightly and look back at him. You watch as he undoes his belt to his pants. You wiggle your hips and he smirks, shaking his head, "You know.." Rafe starts out. 

You tilt your head, "What do I know?" 

He smirks, "You're pretty fucking sexy for a Pogue." 

You can feel your cheeks turning red and you nod, "You're pretty fucking sexy for a kook." You smirk and he walks up, sliding his hands up under the fabric of your dress. 

"You're not good for me." Rafe squeezes your hips and you push them back towards him. He presses his hips against you, his hard cock pressing into you, "But baby I cannot fucking help but want you." 

Your lips part as he pushes your dress up over your ass, exposing it to him. He gives both of your cheeks a squeezes before delivering a smack to each one. 

You win, biting down on your lip. You look back at him and he leans up over you, "You got that best pussy ever." 

You smile and gasp as you feel your underwear get slowly pulled down. His fingers brush against your soaked cunt and he bites down on his lip, "you're fuckin' dripping for me princess." 

You take an excited breath, "Like I said, I've been needing you." 

"I'm not gonna make you wait any longer, baby. Okay?" Rafe pushes his hands down and rubs his hands over your ass cheeks. 

You rest your head against the bed when you feel the head of his cock press against your cunt. A moan is ripped from your lips as he pushes into you. 

"Ahh, baby.." he groans out quietly, "Don't wanna get caught now do ya?" 

"N-no." You whimper out, pushing your hips back to meet each of his thrusts. "fuck fuck fuck." You reach back and Rafe grabs your wrist, pinning it to your lower back. 

"So fucking right." Rafe pants out, continuing to slam his cock into you. 

"Fu-Fuck.." you whine, squeezing his cock, "Rafe, baby. Shit. Shit." You moan and squeeze his cock one last time before you let go. 

Your hand goes to your mouth as you try to muffle the moans you have no control over. 

Rafe pushes your dress up, moving it out of the way before he pulls out, spilling his cum onto your back, "Goddamn." 

You sigh, "Uh huh." 

"Alright, baby. Don't move for me, okay?" Rafe says and you nod, watching as he goes and gets you something to wipe you off with.

He comes back and gets behind you again, "So I was thinking." 

"Uh oh." You tease, "What were you thinkin' about?" 

He stands up to get dressed and you roll over onto your side to look at him.

Rafe looks down at you, "Run away with me."

You blink a few times and shake your head, "What did you just say?" 

Rafe laughs, reaching down to caress your cheek, "You heard me." You tilt your head into is hand, actually considering that it would be nice to spend at least one day together without getting any interruptions. 

"No." You shake your head, "We can't do that." 

Rafe shrugs, "Why not?" 

You stare at him as you try and come up with an answer, but you can't think of anything, "Fuck." 

Rafe walks up to you, "See." He chuckles, "Just imagine one week, some place where it's just you and I." 

You chew on your lip, thinking for a second, "Rafe, I gotta tell you something." You lay your hands on his chest, "I can't leave." 

He presses a kiss to your lips and Whines, "You won't regret this." 

You smile slightly but quickly frown, "I need to be here for my mom. They're talking divorce and I just need to be here incase he just decides to leave." 

"Oh baby." Rafe grabs your head and presses his lips to your forehead, "I'm sorry." You let out a sigh, "It's okay. You didn't do anything." 

"No I know, but if I had known, I wouldn't have been there more for you." He runs his hands through your hair and sighs, "Are you.. I mean not alright but.." 

You nod, smiling slightly, "Just you nonstop talking to me helps." 

"I can come over later and you can just talk? Yeah?" He looks at you and you nod, trying not to cry, "Please?" Your voice is low and it makes him frown, "Of course, baby. anything you need." 

He presses a kiss to your lips and you smile, "Then maybe once everything is settled we do that little thing you were talking about." You wink and he just smirks as he watches as you walk over to the door. 

As you open it to go out, you ear JJ and Pope coming up the steps. You step back in and push the door shut, "Shit." 

You look at Rafe and he gives you a confused look, "What's going on?" 

"Pope and JJ, I think they're looking for me." You cover your mouth to conceal your laughter and Rafe puts his shirt back on, "Closet." 

You look from Rafe to the open closet and sigh, "Okay." You walk over and step in, leaning forward to close the door. 

You listen and hear knocking on Rafe's door. He walks over and opens it, "Man you guys are actually searching to get your asses kicked tonight, aren't ya?" 

You smirk slightly and you hear JJ ask, "Where's y/n?" 

"Why the fuck would I know where y/n is?" Rafe shoots back and JJ, being JJ, "Because if she were to go missing you're the first person I'd look into." 

"Well, she's not up here. So good luck with that case, Detective Douchebag." Rafe says and you cover your mouth, trying not to laugh. 

Detective Douchebag. Good one. 

"She's probably just outside somewhere." Pope says urging JJ to leave. 

"Yeah, outside. Where you should be instead of bothering me." Rafe says, "Oh. And when you find her, tell I said she looks hot for a Pogue." 

"What the fuck did you just say?" JJ says and you can hear Pope calming him down, "Relax. He's just doing it on purpose. Come on." 

Rafe closes the door and you emerge from the closet, "Did you really have to add the last part?" 

He laughs, "I mean.. you are hot." He winks, and you know I have to fuck with them. I hate them, not you." 

You roll your eyes and walk over to him, "I don't hate you either." You lean up and press your lips to his, "See ya later?" 

His hands move to your waist and he tilts his head, "Um, that's a dumb ass question." 

You laugh, "I was just double checking." 

"I know." He smirks and kisses your cheek, "Let me check is the coast is clear." He peaks his head out and waves for you to come out. 

You peck his lips and smile, "I love you." 

He smiles, pinching your chin gently, "I love you." 

You quickly make your way down the steps and half way down you realize you don't have your panties on. 

You ignore it and make your way back to the drink table to get a new one. You pull your phone out, quickly texting Rafe, Do you happen to know where my panties are? 

You put your phone back in your purse and you make your way through the crowded house to find your friends, "Hey." 

"Where have you been?" Kie asks and you motion, "Oh I got sidetracked by-" you stop talking when you see Rafe walk out and you sigh, "I'm actually not feeling well. I think I'm going to walk home." 

"I can drive you?" She steps towards you and you shake your head, "No it's fine." 

"Are you sure? What's going on?" She leans in, "Are you okay?" 

You nod, "Yeah, yeah. I just have a lot going on right now." You swore you'd never use it at an excuse, but you really didn't want them mad at you for seeing Rafe, "My mom and dad got into it again today about divorcing and just tensions are high.." 

she nods, "Yeah, no. I completely understand." She lays a hand on your shoulder, "Call me if you need anything." 

You nod, "I will. Thank you." 

She smiles and your turn, walking down off the deck. You can hear Kie start to explain what you told her but their voices fade the further away you get. 

You get your phone out of your bag and smile when you see Rafe's text, Yeah, I do actually. 

You type the screen, Can I know where they are please?, resting your phone down as you continue to walk. your phone buzzes in your hand and you bring it up. 

My left pants pocket. 

A tingle courses through your body and you tilt your head, Not gonna lie. That's hot as fuck. 

You bite your lip as you look back towards the house. You look down at your phone, I'm actually walking home right now, so if you wanna meet me there? 

You hit send and keep walking. 

It hits you that since he knows about your parents along with your friends, they'll all try to come at once time and you really don't want to see that. 

you stop, going to text Rafe but a car pulls up beside you, coming to a stop. You look over and see Rafe as the window goes down. 

You quickly get in and look at him, "What are you doing?" 

He shrugs, "I don't need you walking home looking like that." He nods toward your body and you smirk, "So sweet of you." 

You sigh, "Actually. I can't go home." 

He starts to drive and gives you a confused look, "Why?" You laugh slightly, "Because my dumb ass told Kie that was my leaving for leaving, so they're probably going or, if not already on their way to my house now."

"And you don't want them knowing about us, hmm?" He lays a hand on your thigh, "I get it, baby." He glances at you, "Where do you want to go?" 

You laugh, "Anywhere that I can come up an excuse for tomorrow." 

Rafe gives your thigh a squeeze, "I know just the place." He bites his bottom lip and looks at you and you nod, "Let's go." 

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

Hi thanks you so much for reading! I love you all! As always let me know how you liked this one!

Again, I wrote this high so if nothing makes sense I’m sorry lol

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated! 🖤

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[cherrygenshin]

Obey Me! Rut HC's - pt.2

Warnings: NSFW, SMUT. Minors DNI. Again, no special warnings, just breeding.

GN reader.

Satan

His rut is average, lasting up to a week.

He's not too big on nest building, he finds it gets too stuffy in his room with too many items in it (let's be real, it's really cause it won't fit due to all his damn books)

Actually remains kinda the same? Just touchier?

Won't let you leave his room once you enter, if you do leave he won't let you back in, no matter how desperate he gets.

Snaps VERY quickly, but will try his best to keep his cool around you. He's just so worked up, he can't handle the pressure.

In post nut clarity he will be very smoochy to you, thanking you for putting up with him and giving you the best food he can find.

He's not great at regulating his emotions at the best of times, but now instead of 'ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY' his mind is full of 'BREED BREED BREED'.

Enjoys bending you over so he can pound in to you and groan lewdly in your ear.

PLEASE scratch him up, your marks on him means he's fucking you just right, he wants to see them.

Asmodeous

Longest rut out of everyone, tbh he kinda always wants to breed and be bred so it's not that different for him.

He will seek you out the moment he feels it coming. He normally has demons lining up around the block for a chance with him, but he'll choose you over anyone else. Of course, if you're down to enjoy his rut with more people, then he's down for that too.

Prefers being bred over breeding, I HC that he's got both a juicy cunt AND a nice dick. He uses both, but definitely prefers getting his pussy filled.

You think Levi was loud? Try Asmo. He LOVES the sound of his voice, and he knows you love it too. He will moan the house down.

He's ridiculously sensitive and very bratty, will try and push you further in to him/push himself further in to you, he's very needy.

Unlike his brothers, he's actually not very clingy during his rut, and enjoys his personal space, like taking nice long baths before the next wave of horniness overcomes him.

Overall he's very casual about the whole thing. You wanna breed him? Okay. You want him to breed you? Easy done. As long as someone gets to enjoy him, he's happy.

Beelzebub

Another vote for average rut length, lasts about a week.

Enjoys making a lil nest for you and him to spend the week in, takes pride in his nest building abilities.

OKAY so, Beel wants a family. Idc what anyone says, he's a family man through and through.

Being that he wants a family, his rut hits him very hard. His desire to breed completely overwhelms him, he becomes the most animalistic out of all his brothers.

Also, BIG DICK = LOTS OF CUM

He will FOLD you like a deck chair, just to shove his cock as far into you as he possibly can.

Grunts and groans, will also grip you tight enough to leave bruises, he just loves u so much he wants to be as close to you as possible

"Gonna cum in you darling", "gonna make you a parent", "Fuck- you're gonna be so hot carrying my child."

Will literally carry you to impale u on his dick if you get too tired, he is not stopping until you're pregnant.

Belphegor

Lucky ass bitch has the shortest rut, lasting only two or so days.

Probably will sleep through it ngl wet dream city

If he happens to be awake, he won't ask for help directly, he'll just expect it.

He kinda already has a nest in the attic, won't really add much more to it. He'd rather preserve energy to be able to fuck you properly.

Another for 'I don't really want kids but damn nutting in u is kinda nice'

Gets more whiny during his rut, when he's close he'll let out the most angelic soft moans and whines you've ever heard.

Although he isn't super energetic on the best of days, being in his rut really saps all his energy. He's got a cycle of fuck, sleep, fuck, sleep.

Unfortunately you will have to feed him as he really does put his all in to fucking you, he doesn't even have the energy to feed himself afterwards.

Big on show, don't tell. He won't tell you how much he loves you (he's getting better at expressing his emotions, but he's getting better!) But the way he holds you close as he sleeps says more than words ever will.

#obey me #obey me smut #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me nightbringer #obey me satan #satan smut #obey me asmodeus #asmodeus smut #obey me beel smut #beelzebub smut #belphegor avatar of sloth #belphegor smut

[floppydiskettess]

VALORANT AGENTS REACTING TO THEIR S/O GETTING INJURED ON A MISSION

featuring - sage, killjoy, cypher, yoru, sova, gekko, viper

a/n : cyphers part contains a lot of angst and alcohol talk. i couldnt let it ALL be fluff 😋

✮~ Sage ~✮

literally the sweetest ever, but this doesn't need to be said

if its a minor injury, she will definitely be giving you a talk about being safer and how to prevent that from happening

"but what if it was something more serious? something even I couldn't heal? you must be more careful angel."

if her s/o was harmed badly, she would do two things.

one, she would immedietely drop everything and rush towards healing you, this woman will stay up all night trying to heal you and make sure that there is not so much as a scratch left on your body. she would definitely overwork herself but making sure you are alright is all that matters.

two, the second you are stable and resting, she is going to find out whichever enemy agent hurt you and fuck. them. up.

im talking full battle sage, she will have no mercy if the injury they caused was threatening enough.

she may excude sweet and kind energy but she is one scary lady when the people she loves are harmed

she knows exactly how damaged a body must be for it to be unfixable.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't be there my dear, but they won't be hurting you again."

she will be watching you carefully, even asking brimstone to take you off of missions for a short time or asking him to keep an eye on you.

she doesn't know what she would do if she lost you..

☻��~ Killjoy ~︎︎☹︎

she blames herself, how could she not? she designed most of the stuff...it must be a error in her inventions.

she will work night and day trying to figure out what happened. was it a weapon error? did the gun she designed for you malfunction? oh no was she to blame for anyone elses injuries?!

it would take a lot of reassurance for her to calm down. after all, this wouldn't have happened if she had been more careful...right?

"Mein gott...you scared me. I thought I lost you schatzi..."

she is going to be by your side after sage discharges you from her infirmary. expect lots of physical affection (if your comfortable with it.) and care.

she will treat you as if you were glass about to break. you will not be doing any chores while you recover.

oh you need to work on a mission report? its already finished and submitted. you are hungry? she would cook a lovely meal her parents would make her when she was sick. (with the help of some other agents...shes probaly not a great cook lets be honest..)

"KJ...Sage gave me the all clear! I can do it!"

" Nein nein! You are going to rest mein Häschen! I don't want you straining yourself!"

♖~ Cypher ~♖

if you get injured, be it minor or major. this man will WORRY.

he already lost everything, he cannot lose you either. if he did...he would have nothing.

when sage showed up at his door covered in blood and bruises. he knew something went wrong.

you told him you were going on a small mission. just an in and out radianite extraction at an abandoned lab. he had no reason to worry...right?

when he heard what had happened, he was devastated. what was supposed to be a quick mission turned out to be a setup. what makes it worse? you were alone at your site.

he will be thinking the worst. what if you...? if he had only done a more detailed check on the lab...maybe he could have protected you. but he didn't. he feels like he failed.

you spend weeks in the recovery bay, lying unconcious.

he spends those weeks without you in his lab drinking the memories away and trying to figure out what happened.

he just cannot function with the thought of losing you at the back of his mind at all times.

he knows he was caught when viper appears at his doorway with a concerned glare and a solemn looking sage in tow. he can't remember most of it, but viper was worried? about him?

soon he was also transported to sages infirmary. getting put on nutrients and oxygen. it was obvious he was not taking care of himself without your presence

when you wake up, he would be right there cradling your cheek with his hand. his mask nowhere in sight. all that matters was that you were safe now

"يا حياتي..i was so scared i lost you"

he will never forget his past, but he looks forward to his future with you.

can you tell i like cypher guys :)

☁︎~ Yoru ~☁︎

do not even get me started on this man

he would be extremely angry.

but is it at you, the others, or maybe himself?"

upon hearing the news, he would immediately check on you. seeing your unconcious body just makes something in him snap. the thought that someone had done this to you...he plants a soft kiss to your temple, before storming out of the infirmary.

for the next few days, he would lash out at everyone around him. sage came around to bring him some food as he had not left his room and he just...lost it.

he wasn't even sure who he was yelling at, who he was blaming for what happened. poor sage looked petrified and the others seemed to gather the idea yoru didn't want to be talked too right now.

with no word from anybody about your condition, he lay down on his bed and cried numbly. every night he would teleport into where sage had kept you to heal. he would sit in silence staring at your asleep face before always kissing your forehead goodbye. in hopes that somehow, you would wake up.

he went to your room and grabbed some sweaters of yours, every night he slept with them for comfort, clinging onto them as if they were going to leave him too.

when you wake up, he won't care about keeping his mysterious "badass" persona up. he will be at your side holding your hand and crying.

"please be more careful 私の日光...i don't know what i would do if i lost you."

when sage discharges you, he will be glued to you. he will simple little things for you (such as opening doors for you.)

his love language is definitely acts of service

if you teased him about this though, he will never admit to it.

he will be doing simple things such as cooking meals, cleaning up, and helping you finish any work you have

he is so domestic

he may not be super outwardly affectionate, but with each small favour he does for you he is putting all of his love into it.

𖦹~ Sova ~𖦹

sova is literally the most caring boyfriend...like ever..

if its a minor injury, he will treat it (if sage and skye are off on a mission).

he will definitely lightly scold you, not to be mean! just because he hates seeing you hurt and in pain.

"ангел. please be more careful next time..you know i hate seeing you upset."

if it was a major injury though, he is relatively the same.

he isn't scared to cry infront of the others, when he gets the news that your mission went south he was crying into sages shoulder.

he would stay with you the entire recovery. sage had to keep kicking him out at nighttime but eventually she realized she couldn't stop him. she simply would bring meals for him whenever he would forget to eat.

he would sit and tell you about his day, how the missions were going, even the silly schenanigans that the younger agents were pulling

"yoru tried to get revenge on phoenix for his prank but it went so bad ангел. he entered his rift and jumped out to scare him, but reyna happened to have just been passing by! she was absolutely livid родная. i have never seen our dear riftwalker so terrified!" he chuckled

when you woke up, he was still there lightly snoring against the chair sage had brought him.

when he woke up, he was thrilled, his eyes immediately lighting up like a childs

"have you been sitting here the whole time?"

"of course my dear. as if i would leave you."

߷~ Gekko ~߷

as the newest agent, he hasn't known you for very long. your relationship was coming up to a few months old but he hadn't told you how much he loved you yet.

so naturally, when he heard you were injured he was terrified

he knew this job was dangerous! he just never thought it would be you getting injured...he also never really thought of anyone getting badly injured

he was training with harbour when he overheard a mission going wrong...a mission you were on.

he would rush to the infirmary overloading sage with questions about you

"Sage!! Finally...que pasó?? Neon told me something happened on the mission?!"

Appariently, you had gotten caught in a fight with the enemy Breach and he hit you with his aftershock.

He didn't know much about Breach, but he knew that man had quite a bit of strength in his abilities (being like...bionic you know?"

After some skillful and strategic convincing (pathetic and annoying begging) Sage agreed to take him to see you.

When he caught sight of you lying in the bed staring up at the ceiling, he let out a big sigh he didn't even know he was holding.

"Mi sol! Oh mierda I was so worried! What happened?"

He would be sitting patiently listening to you explain what happened. All while staring at you softly.

"Shooottt...sounds like you had a busy mission! I am just happy you made it back cariño."

☠︎︎~ Viper ~ ☠︎︎

if you were minorly injured, it was probably from tinkering with her poison vials and one leaked onto your fingers

after hearing your grunt in pain, she turns around and her eyes widen, rushing towards you.

"Idiot, I said not to touch anything!"

she swears under her breath before wiping it away and rubbing some sort of cream onto your hand

"Honestly..who would touch something containing poison WITHOUT protection?"

her biggest fear? her poison causing you harm.

so what if a mission were to go wrong and you happened to step into a bubble of her poison?

it was a genuine wrong place wrong time situation. she had a poison bubble deployed and sitting on the ground, as she activated it she looked up to see your frame walking overtop of it.

she shouts to get you to move, but you don't hear her in time. next thing she knows, you are on the ground out cold with green and purple lines all over your face.

she quickly would call for backup, holding you tight but trying to avoid the chemical burns.

when she is back to safety, she rushes to sage's infirmary with your barely warm body in her arms

unfortunately, the poison had seeped into some open wounds you had. causing it to spread throught your body. viper leaves sage alone to do her job, pacing back and forth outside.

she knew how strong her poison could be, but she also knew how strong your body was. you would survive. you had too.

after a few hours, a tired sage walks out and nods, signaling it went well.

viper rushed into the room and immediately looked at your sleeping face, wincing at the fading bloodshot lines on your face.

"i'm so sorry love..please wake up soon"

she would wait by your side holding your hand and occasionally planting soft kisses to the back of your hand.

she knew you would be ok, but she couldn't help but feel bad that her miscommunication and carelessness caused this to happen to you.

when you wake up, she would be whispering soft apologies into your ear

"i promise...you will never feel this pain again my dear."

a/n : holy shit guys!!!! this took a while!! i spent a good 4 hours writing all this JDJSBSJSKSKSN its probably cringe im sorry

but yeah! i tried my best to write this with a gender neutral reader in mind but in some of these its definitely a bit more fem reader leaning! also i do not speak any of the languages spoken in this so if i made a mistake or used something wrong PLEASE let me know so I can fix it!!!

#valorant headcanons #valorant x reader #yoru x reader #viper x reader #sage x reader #sova x reader #cypher x reader #gekko x reader #killjoy x reader #valorant #valorant x y/n #valorant x you #y/n not used #but its implied #headcanons #ooc post #valorant fanfiction

[jennycalendar]

descending into deadlochposting on main i don't even care. this show is SO GOOD. i think the thing that really stuck with me throughout every episode is how committed it is to not fucking up women, and especially women of color, just to have a Plot Point + for Emotional Resonance!!! every woman on this show gets an ending that feels earned. (and yes that does include margaret carruthers.) there is just so much love woven into this narrative but they still manage to capture the grim miserable reality of patriarchy without EVER reducing a female character we care about to a Murder Victim or having her horrifically brutalized as an ending!!!! like holy shit, guys, it's actually fucking possible! you can create horror blended perfectly with humor and never actually fuck women over!!!

and yeah actually as a woc it felt really fucking good to watch a show where i got to see women of color (aleyna and tammy and sharelle and miranda and faye my beloved <333) just thrive and be silly and stupid and terrible and also lovable. and also, oh my god, revolutionary, NOT GET MURDERED, even though this is literally a fckin murder show!!! i said to my dad like midway through the series that i just got this sense the show understood how goddamn hard it is to watch television sometimes waiting for that character you love, who looks like you and has life experiences that resonate with you, to get killed, or to be treated like she's not important, and how dedicated it is to not just killing off women for shock value. every woman in this show mattered and had meaning and dimension.

because seriously, SO MANY INCREDIBLE WOMEN!!! abby with her perfect little haircut driving off into the sunset saying Of Course She Knows She's Right About Forensics. aleyna and her husband, her whole heart!!!! vanessa who in a lesser show would have been reduced to The Bad Woman, The Bigot, but we are shown how she has been abused and mistreated by men and how that's so informed her perspective + her genuine love for her son! sharelle who lays down the hard truths, who calls them out -- "all this civility but no fucking community" !!! miranda who learns that she doesn't want blood money from a woman who looks down on her cousin! tammy who is literally just all about that footy club the entire time even as men are being murdered and that's honestly so real of her. skye o'dwyer who perfectly captures that Emotionally Unavailable Dad energy except she's a lesbian and i love her. nadiyah who is Trying Her Best :) And Gritting Her Teeth About It :) faye who has no god damn patience for margaret carruthers and all kinds of blunt determined love for her niece and her daughter. vic who throws herself under the bus because she's just so determined to protect anyone she can after the women in this town protected her and kept her secret for so long!!! cath who parents her emotions and is definitely relentless in her guilting but also so relentless in her love. MARGARET CARRUTHERS WHO EXEMPLIFIES SHITTY RICH WHITE WOMAN. and of fucking course, the legends, the buddy-cop duo of all time, dulcie and eddie, who are just perpetually going around like this

except it's not even working because eddie chewed the leash off.

favorite show of the year by far. so so happy about it. rotating it joyfully in my brain for the next week, probably longer.

#deadloch #celia watches deadloch #deadloch spoilers #sooooorta??? in places???? #i just . hgjkdhdkjh this is such a fucking show everyone should watch it #even if we don't get a s2 just having s1 was so worth it!

[sweetandsavageautistic]

(CW: Cringe, Autism Parents stuff, drunk mention, infantilization)

So I don't have a degree in Graphic Design, but I do have a sense of general aesthetic. I figured that it's April. Let's rate, and potentially verbally tear apart and drag through the mud, some autism shirts and graphic designs, and I'll probably do a part 2, these scores are only semi-arbitrary: First up is this:

Already off the top, I am confusion because it seems to read "I wear puzzle cousin autism awareness". Sounds like whoever made this was drunk.

Puzzle pieces, ew.

The red, yellow, green, and blue look like the shades you'd see in elementary school, so that seems pretty infantilizing.

Autism Awareness, I am very much aware of my existence.

Final Score: 0 out of 10. Designer, go home; you're drunk.

Next we have this:

This one already has a slight advantage over the first because it's at least coherent in terms of the message.

Elementary school colors, but make it extra tacky.

Puzzle pieces; don't try to bullshit me by putting the autism awareness banner over it, I can see the other indents that make them puzzle pieces.

Once again, I am well aware of my own existence.

At least it's a smaller design.

Final Score: 0.5 out of 10, and that's being generous.

Next one's not a shirt, but it still counts:

No blue so thank God for that.

This is up to personal preference, but to me, the person-first language is giving "I need to be reminded that someone is a person."

Puzzle pieces. Ew. Don't BS me, I can see them.

Walk down Autism Lane. (it's right below the word LOVE) Sorry, but we don't allow ableists on Autism Lane; you need to be a premium member and to be a premium member, you need to not be a dick.

The pumpkin disturbs me for some reason, and not in the Halloween way; I mean, it just straight-up disturbs me.

Final Score: 0.5 out of 10. Bury it in a shallow grave.

Just found this one:

It's easy on the eyes at least.

No tacky elementary school colors.

No puzzle pieces.

The bunny's cute, but this also seems very infantilizing.

Person first language is a no for me.

Why are all of the is lowercase, but the others are uppercase?

Final Score: 5 out of 10. Not great, but not terrible.

Here we have simple:

Elementary school colors, but credit where credit's due; it's not terrible on the eyes.

Why is blessed on there three times?

One big-ass puzzle piece.

"Autism blesses" Yes, because being bullied by my peers, being indirectly told who I am is wrong, having the worst time making friends, always feeling like I'm never truly part of a friend group, being confused when some adults got mad at me, not having anyone to play with at 4 years old is an absolute fucking blessing. /s And that's the tip of the iceberg.

"Fun", "Sweet", "Cute".....it's the infantilization for me.

Final Score: 3 out of 10. No further elaboration.

Then there's this monstrosity:

I call this color Patronizing Paraprofessional Blue, aka the tackiest shade of blue ever.

It looks like something one of those older white suburban millennial moms would wear. Like something a Karen would wear to one of those autism walks or one of those social skills teachers who talk in that slowed-down patronizing kindergarten teacher tone with that fake-ass smile, no matter how old you are. You know the one I'm talking about, right? Yeah, they'd wear this.

Puzzle piece. Light It Up Blue. Ew.

We all know what organization this supports.

Final Score: -10 out of 10. Burn it.

Let's get in a good one to counter that abomination of a shirt and end part one on a higher note:

Nice simple design with a black background.

No tacky elementary school colors.

Identity-first language.

Really counters the....what the fuck would it be called? The UwU autism parent thing? ("I am his voice, he is my heart," "See the able, not the label," etc,.) It counters that.

The light sparkle around "a bitch" is chef's kiss.

Final Score: 11 out of 10. Perfection.

#autism awareness #autism acceptance #autism #autistic #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #sweet and savage autistic

[inklore]

sweet serial killer

premise: it doesn’t matter if he’s killing you or you're killing someone else. you’re putty in his hands right now, and you’re both fucked. 

pairing: ethan landry x (f)reader

word count: 1.7k

contents: piv, more psychotic feelings than anything, choking, mentions of knife and blood play, murders, dirty talk, stalking, au since this is not in correlation with the film, pain kink.

note: this is my first time writing for this little fucked up curly q even though i have drafts upon drafts of ideas for him, which i'll gladly write if ya'll want more.

haunted hoedown day three.

You should be surprised. 

You should be pissed. 

Scared. 

Running for your life.

Something. Anything.

Other than standing in front of a murderer, your knuckles curling around the edge of the dresser your ass is pushed against. Your excelled heart rate pounding in your ears the closer he steps to you, leaving no room for you to breathe without touching him. Without smelling him. Stealing each other's air. 

Your eyes should be mapping out a quick exit. Coming up with a plan to get the hell out of here. Not looking into his. Not seeing the deep hue of nothingness that is abnormal to see in a sane person's eyes. The dilation of pupils letting you know that he’s got a plan either way. No matter how you take what he just told you.

“I’m ghostface.” 

The darkness in his eyes tells you you can run, but you won’t get far. You can tell someone, but we both know you won’t because I see you.

It’s why you haven’t moved. Why an escape is the last thing on your mind. Because your eyes are casting that same darkness right back at him. 

“You don’t have to pretend with me.” 

His words are like a fire engulfing you, more dangerous than the performance of normality you constantly put on. The sweet, rich girl whose parents gave her a free ride to college, who dote on her like a prized show pony because she’s the perfect child—the perfect daughter. 

The one thing in their lives they didn’t screw up. 

Being born screwed up and hiding it well, no fault of their own.

Known psychopaths rarely get what they want. They might, for a little while. But the lavishes never last. There's always more you need, more you want. And there are only so many people in this world who will give you what you want out of fear. 

Fear leads to trouble. Fear leads to getting caught. Turned in. Turned upon.

Hidden psychopaths, however, have an advantage. A perfected way of being that makes them seem like the nicest people you’ve ever met. The person you can run to. Trust. Count on. The person you wish you could be. 

That’s how you get what you want. 

That’s how you make the high of deceiving, hurting, and killing last. 

And if rich parents who like to hire nannies have taught you anything, it's that it is very easy to pretend. To perfect this little act. To be perceived as loving and being able to love when really all you want to do is gouge the person next to you’s eyes out. 

You have a system. A routine. You never let your crown slip. You never let anyone see you for what you truly are. You’d lose everything. Lavishes gone. That control you have gone. 

You didn’t care about being loved or feared. 

Feelings meant nothing to you. 

But watching the emotions of pain enacted on someone's face when you caused it? Nothing compared to it.

Besides, maybe the way Ethan is looking at you right now. 

The look someone gets when they look into a mirror and like the monster they see looking back at them. 

Part of you should have known. Should have seen this coming with the way his eyes were always already on yours when you looked his way in class. Or that night you caught him following you around campus, but you pretended you didn’t see him—much like the night he caught you red handed, literally, with blood staining your nails, and your pre-rehearsed explanation only making his eyes grow wider and fill with darkness, he quickly smiled away. 

And the nail that should have been pounded into the coffin when your roommate got attacked and all Ghostface did was wave his shiny little knife in your face, a gloved hand around your throat, and then disappeared down the fire escape. And the next day, when everyone was making your skin crawl from sympathy hugs and the fake tears that were glossing your eyes, Ethan had only given you dark looks from across the courtyard. 

Brows low and casting a shadow over his eyes in class. 

You should have known then. 

You’re usually so much better at reading people, trying to understand their normality to copy it. Use it against them.

But Ethan wasn’t normal. That much was clear. 

“I didn’t think you had it in you,” he chuckles under his breath as he shrugs, “this perfect little daddies girl, the girl everyone wants to sleep with, is crazy.” A slow smile lifts the corner of his mouth, “so many nights I’ve followed you, and you’ve kept your facade going. Even when no one was watching. Until the night I ran into you in the hall, the night I knew. I could see it written all over your face.” 

He leans in closer, his curls ghosting over your forehead. His voice a whisper, “but you’re not very good at hiding your messes, so I did it for you. I saved us both the trouble. You getting caught and me—well, Ghostface—taking credit for a kill so messy. And when I gave you my little present, that pesky roommate of yours gone, I could see it in your eyes. That trust. That you would have been happy with me either killing you or fucking you.” 

Your breath halts in your lungs, burning the back of your throat from the noise you let out when Ethan grabs it. Squeezing just enough to make it hard to swallow and to make that growing hunger move past your belly and throb between your legs. 

“Which is it now? Do you want to be fucked or killed?” 

Your lips try to form words, but the hand around your throat mingled with that perfected crown falling and shattering to the ground has your darkness making itself known more than just in the fire that’s so clearly burning in your eyes—the gasps that sound like weak whimpers, the warmth of your body against Ethan’s, the way your insides feel like molten lava when you consider both objectives—your mind is clouded with a pleasure you’ve only ever felt when you’ve watched the agony of pain fade out someone's light completely, your nails smelling of copper for days after.

If Ethan pulled out his knife right now and put it to your throat, you’d come before he made the first cut.

And as he says, “if I went downstairs and grabbed one of your fans and brought them up here and slit their throat for you, would you like that? Would you prefer that instead?” 

Your body shivers from his words, from the free hand that's running down your hip to the apex of your inner thigh—your sorry excuse for a skirt giving him more than enough access to press his thumb to the growing wet patch on the outside of your underwear. The pad of his finger pressing in and adding just the right amount of pressure to your aching clit to make your eyes flutter. 

“Or is it your insides you want me to see?” 

The involuntary whimper of his name, the motion of your hips trying to rub yourself against the miniscule touch between your legs, his last words, and the accuracy of it all are the finality for both of you. 

The thing that finally lets you both know that it doesn’t matter if he’s killing you, or you’re killing someone else, or blood is spilt for you, you’re putty in his hands right now, and you’re both fucked. 

So when his lips come down on yours, it’s hard and rough and lacking any sort of passion. 

Any sort of fake pleasure you’ve always had to give to past lovers. 

There's nothing fake about the heat inside of you. The sauna of depravity that Ethan is pulling out of you—devouring it with bloody teeth that match your own hunger. Your own fucked up way of getting off. Of feeling something. 

When Ethan starts to descend to his knees, leaving a trail of bites along your neck that feel too hard and imprinting to not be a personal vendetta of anger, of want, of a need to make you feel pain, to want it from him—you stop him. 

Yanking his curls so hard, he’s hissing against your mouth. Your fingers move in a flash of pushed away fabric, buttons, and zippers to free him and wrap a hand around his cock. Giving it a couple pumps. Watching the way his mouth parts and his lips curl in pleasure when you tighten and twist around the head. 

Wordlessly telling him what you want when you turn away, pushing your ass out for him as you bend yourself over the dresser. 

If you didn’t have him inside of you one way or another, you know you’d lose your patience. Know that darkness would simmer away into something worse, something that would leave the both of you in more agony than pleasure. 

You needed him. 

And by the sound Ethan makes when he thrusts into you—hard, without warning—you know he needs you too. Know that he’s probably gotten off to the thought of you bloodied and underneath him, his knife pressed to your throat, threatening to make you bleed if you didn’t let him come inside of you. If you didn’t let him lick the wounds he wants to create against your flesh. 

The pace he sets is rough. 

Harsh against your body that rubs against the rigid edge of the dresser. His nails dig into your hips as he pulls you back onto him, as he grabs the back of your neck, digging his fingers into your skull. 

The palm that snakes around to your neck pulls you up and against his front, putting your body at a new angle that has your muscles stretching in pain and making your eyes roll back. The noises of pleasure and pain like a fucked up hymn. 

“That night I was in your apartment, your life in my hands, do you know how much self control I had to have to not slice this pretty throat?” His teeth graze against the skin below your ear, his own groans and hitches of breath making you feel lightheaded. “To not make you bleed and spread it against my cock and make you jerk it off. Make you use your mouth to lick me clean.”

It’s those words and the lack of air his palm is allowing your lungs to intake that make you come. That has the gasp falling from your mouth sounding like something dying, something begging for life. 

Portraying the opposite of his words. Of why you’re coming. Of why the rush has you going lax against him and smiling. 

#ethan landry x you #ethan landry smut #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry x y/n #jack champion x reader #scream smut #ethan landry imagine #ethan landry #ghostface smut #ethan landry one shot #ethan landry fanfiction #ethan landry fic #hauntedhoedown

[vaguely-concerned]

listen I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore but on this playthrough of DA2 I found myself once more entranced and heartbroken to see hawke reenact their relationship with their mother with the entire cursed city of kirkwall. you can never do enough for leandra, and you can never do enough for kirkwall. leandra is proud of you, and kirkwall uplifts its champion, but no matter how hard you try for them you can't fix everything there that's broken, no one could, and even the fact that anyone would feel the burning responsibility to take that task on is a huge warning sign on its own. leandra will easily allow you to sacrifice yourself on the altar of the family's continued well-being again and again, even when she'll beg you to spare the twins from the same thing. it's such a sad, painfully realistic thing because I truly don't think leandra meant to fuck up her kids, and yet she primed her oldest for an abusive toxic codependent relationship with an entire ongoing dumpster fire of a city state better than she ever could have if she had meant to.

I think what leandra actually, deep down wants from you is something you can never ever give her and that is cruel to ask of anyone, but especially your kid -- to bring her back to a time when she was happy. to reclaim when you were all happy, when nothing was broken that couldn't be fixed, before malcolm died, before you had to leave behind bethany or carver's broken body on the ground. to get her childhood back from where she left it and found it all gone and in ruins when she returned. 'this is all your fault'. this is the tragedy of parenthood sometimes I think, that capacity to define a life: she said that once, in a moment of profound pain, and she probably wouldn't have said it under other circumstances and she apologizes later, but now hawke has to live with that forever. leandra can't bear her own emotions without letting them spill over onto someone else so she won't have to hold the discomfort of them anymore, and hawke is left to shoulder that burden and responsibility again and again, handed the impossible task of making it all okay again, somehow -- of stopping anything bad from ever happening again in the Nr 1 Bad Things Constantly Happening capital of thedas.

and then at the same time there's the mirror of how varric's whole family wants orzammar back (and to him orzammar is just a ghost he's seen in their eyes -- there's something in his voice when he says 'That stupid plate was the whole city of Orzammar to him' that gets me every time, how much he understands that he doesn't understand and how lonely that makes him among them, and on top of it all he's frustrated and ashamed and sad that he just doesn't get it and can't meet them on it -- like it's a betrayal that he actually belongs up here, when varric wants so badly to be loyal), just as the hawkes want happiness back. (I don't think it's Lothering in itself that longing is for, it's for being together. Lothering was just the place they stayed the longest.) they're all in exile, even as they try to make a new home out of that exile.

(varric and hawke's real 🤝 quality across all personalities, affinities and choices is 'parentified child' lmao. so much of varric's character makes perfect sense once you know he grew up supporting a mother who was an emotionally volatile alcoholic, honestly. between varric, the hawkes, isabela, seb if you have him and merrill's whole Situation with marethari I feel like DA2 covertly is to mommy issues what ME2 is to daddy issues fjsdjfa)

basically I think I'm trying to pick apart exactly why the fact that leandra is clearly proud of hawke and tells them so several times doesn't feel like it helps at all, almost feels more like a cage even though it's clearly meant well? and what I'm getting is that it's because my sense of what hawke actually needs, in general but especially from a parent, isn't admiration or approval but to be loved and supported and understood. I don't believe leandra ever quite understands them, and it scares her because it makes her think she maybe never even understood malcolm. (that's the subtext of a lot of what leandra will say about him in legacy, at least. he's slipping away from her as the years pass after his death and she fears she never really had him in the first place, if he had secrets like these.) she consistently treats her oldest more like a partner or peer than as her child, which considering hawke is always described as being very similar to their father… I mean I totally see how that could be easy to slip into for her after he died especially, but it doesn't make it any less fucked up or unfair.

the real leandra in legacy is. she is SO absurdly self-centered, if you really pay attention. I don't want to keep dunking on her because I don't think she's like this on purpose, but it boggles my mind. if you do the quest in act 1 she gets so upset and overwhelmed that the kids just sort of sit there like :( at the end, which adds to the trend that through the game you constantly see hawke comforting leandra, and you pretty much never see leandra comforting hawke, beyond some light vaguely encouraging comments in passing. if you do legacy in act 2 while she's still alive hawke comes to her, tentatively asking if malcolm ever spoke to her about any of it -- clearly requesting some sort of emotional support or help to make sense of it. she then expresses her side of it, but never once does she say anything to the effect of 'hey that was a lot to go through, are you okay after all that?'.

instead she essentially hands them the responsibility of having a good life, to repay what malcolm did for all of them. and in theory that's not the worst takeaway I suppose, malcolm probably would want them all to be happy, but in the moment it only feels like more expectation heaped upon you somehow? especially since you don't really get to express anything about how it made you feel before she goes to the 'ah no use complaining' zone (after SHE got to express her grief at feeling like she's losing more and more of that old life, and hawke barely got to say anything fhsfalkjfs). in general she really doesn't do much like. parenting, does she haha. there is so much love there in that relationship, and yet so little comfort. Oh, those days. All of us, in that simple place. Well, that's neither here nor there, is it. This life, we have to make the best of it. And thanks to you, and him, I will. Oh well, mum, I'm uh. I'm glad you feel better after that, at least. Nice to be of service.

it's varric's ghost-leandra who actually acknowledges what a burden hawke has taken on, that shows an understanding of why they're doing it, acknowledges the loss they've been through and also reassures them in their sense of belonging that still can't be taken from them, despite it all -- The best of him is still with you. The best of all of us. It's what makes you try so hard. You'll always have that. We'll always be family. (you can't take 'loved' away, huh.) you get a bit more of a reconciliation/reconnection between hawke and their dad's memory by being reminded he got like this too, you know (implicitly you're not alone). varric through leandra is the one who tells them what they probably would have wanted and needed to hear from a parent right then -- It's going to be alright. that's what Hawke, The Champion means to everyone else, and for once they get to be the one to hear it. except only in a kind dream that never really happened. I. it. hmmmmmm. crushing. that is crushing. but also so incredibly tender from varric's side, and so moving to me that he's seen all this stuff and so desperately wants to give them that comfort. anyway DA2 is about love in some of the realest and thus messiest and most human ways I've ever seen and it makes my brain go wild it's my favorite game of all time goodnight

#I don't even know what I'm saying anymore folks please just. accept this. it makes no sense/compels me though etc. #dragon age meta #dragon age #dragon age 2 #hawke #leandra amell #honestly someone should do an analysis of the mother figures of DA2 because oh BOY something is up here #elthina and all her talk of the chantry as a 'gentle mother' very much included #as I believe terry pratchett once wrote: #That's Nature for you in a nutshell. Always dealing off the bottom of the pack. No wonder they called her a mother.

[teddypickerry]

A teen!dad jess. He has a best friend from New York (she can have a name or it can be Y/N, you can choose) (they are endgame, jess never had feelings for Rory but she has feelings for Jess, it won't go anywhere) Jess and his best friend have a kid, they co-parent (whether they are dating already or in the future is up to you) Jess gets sent to Stars Hallow, she ends up moving to stars Hallow to, to be close to Jess and so their kid can be with him too (she is emancipated, plus Jess knows she's coming because they keep in contact) if anyone reading this would like to turn this into an actual story, I'm totally down for reading it :) if you choose this request, I look forward to reading it. Thank you!!

↯ 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐈 𝐆𝐎 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐆𝐎?

pairings — teen dad! jess mariano x y/n

warnings — none!! (unedited tho so…)

word count — 2.9k

a/n — i’m not the biggest fan of how this turned out (feels lowk out of character even tho i typically write jess best bc i am him), but i LOVEDDDD this plot. i plan on making a part two if that’s something you guys would want!! also dad! jess is my fav (as you guys know) so to have him be bowie’s dad??? FUCKING LOVEEE.

BEING SENT TO STARS HOLLOW was worse than one would imagine. especially for jess mariano, a kid who'd been taken from his hometown and placed in a small apartment above a diner with an uncle he hardly knows. this would be enough to drive one mad, one could presume. but to make matters worse, he was leaving behind his son.

the moment liz danes found out her sixteen year old son had gotten a girl pregnant, she freaked out. as any mother would do. but liz wasn't just any mother, she was (to put it lightly) a whack-job. so she spiraled when she figured this one out. what happened when liz danes spiraled you may ask? who was there for her? her sane big brother, luke.

the practical idea seemed to be sending jess to the quaint down of stars hollow. a place where liz grew up, where she knew luke would keep an eye on him. where she also knew he couldn't cause any havoc. and his world wouldn't become corrupt like hers, being a teen parent.

the months of the pregnancy was difficult to be away. y/n was just a girl he'd met at a party, he was sick and tired of his mother's new boyfriend's hurtful words. y/n was going through something similar and they decided they'd lean on one another one night. until three weeks later when she called jess asking him to coffee, and surprising him with something much more. y/n was scared, as any pregnant sixteen year old would be. being without jess didn't help her case.

the teenage boy didn't let the separation get to them however. his nights sneaking out were spent at a phone booth in the middle of town, talking to y/n about everything and anything. his breaks at the diner were calling to ask about doctors appointments. sure, she had just been a girl he'd met at a party. but the emotional bond of a baby knitted the two together. they were scared kids, they had no one but one another. so they became much more than kids who once went to a party. they were friends.

when y/n went into labor, jess ran out of school like his life depended on it. hoping into his car and speeding back to new york. luckily making it so he could see his son born just in time. his first time meeting his son was only his fourth time seeing y/n. the fourth of many, many visits. stars hollow became less and less entertaining to him as time went on. especially after coming back almost two weeks after his son was born. the pranks, the stealing, the teasing around with this girl rory... it wasn't anything to him. he missed his son, he missed the woman who had his son. jess mariano wanted to be with his family. because for the first time in his life, he had a family. someone loved him, and he loved someone.

"1984 is the most overrated 'classic' book i've ever read," rory gilmore smiled at jess with a teasing look. now, almost a year after his son's birth, jess mariano was nearing eighteen. his adolescence was coming to an end (although it did when the stick turned pink). the toying around was still very much in his nature. hence the conversation with the good girl in a pink sweater.

"nu uh, it's a classic. you can't just hate on 1984," jess counters while standing behind the diner's countertop. the diner was slow, despite it being around the early afternoon and a sunday. which is why two teenagers were sharing false opinions like it was bible. he didn't like her — he was sure of that. ever since bowie mariano was born (guess who named him), jess's feelings had become aware. the love he felt for his son was prominent in his everyday life. unlike anything he'd ever felt before. it was hard for him to even imagine ever having feelings for someone. not when being a dad was his number one priority.

"you're just saying that," rory laughed at his words once more. her late night talks with her mother about jess seeming to not be recalled. the ones where lorelai stressed to rory what jess was going through as a teen parent, something she knew all too well. especially being away from his kid. in her eyes, he was a christopher who'd left his rory. lorelai didn't exactly want her daughter involved with that. but it was hard to resist when he kept giving rory that james dean look. matched with the leather jacket and the book references.

"when are you going to see bowie?" lorelai asked the teenage boy, attempting to remind her daughter of his priorities. jess didn't see this as a question with ulterior motives. he knew lorelai had a deep understanding of him, whether she'd like to admit it or not. "soon, hopefully."

"is y/n liking her new place?" luke questions genuinely from lorelai's side, being reminded of jess's child's mother who he'd grown fond of. "it's kinda hard to like a place where you're crashing on your friend's sofa bed." jess scoffs, being reminded of his friend's condition. when y/n had first gotten pregnant, jess was aware of the darkness in her home. especially when she freaked out to him one night. the first time they opened up to one another. she was too scared to tell her dad about the baby, knowing he'd hurt her.

less than two years later, y/n was emancipated. working a part-time job in the city. where her friends helped watch bowie when necessary. along with (hesitantly) liz, whenever jess made sure she was sober and had an okay boyfriend. it was a lonely life: just like jess's.

"that poor girl," lorelai commented with a sympathetic look making jess's stomach twist. he hated thinking about the living conditions of his family, he hated thinking of being apart from them. but when he did, he couldn't stop. which is why that night, when luke came upstairs to the apartment after closing, jess stopped him to have a serious conversation. "can i talk to you?"

luke searched his nephew's face for sincerity once he heard those words. curious if this was gonna be a 'steely dan sucks' conversation or an actual serious one. a rare option for the teenage boy. "yeah, what's up?"

there was a deep expression anguished on jess's face as he sat at the table. he was clearly unsure how to put his words, which was prominent in his eyes. "i... i can't be away from bowie anymore. i can't let y/n live in that shithole. they're my responsibility."

luke heard his nephew's words clearly. he agreed with every word, a sigh erupting when he processed the stress his teenage nephew was experiencing over this. "where are you going with this, jess?" the diner owner questioned with a calm tone. he still wanted the best for his nephew. he still wanted him to finish high school and start a worthy life. one he didn't want to be started by running off to new york and working to provide for his family. "i need to be with them one way or another. i can't be away from bowie, i can't do that to my kid. i can't be my dad."

"you're not, kid. you're nothing like jimmy, i'm telling you that right now. you would do anything to be with bowie and that proves you're better than him," luke explained before letting out a sigh and nodding his head. "you're a good guy, jess."

a conversation continued throughout the night until the two finally came to a conclusion. or at least luke did. taking matters into his own hands, he picked up the phone once his nephew hit the pillow. a hushed tone rushing into verses of explanations until it all made sense.

the next morning, jess mariano woke up like any other day. not too long after he woke up he went down to the diner to get started on work. his thanksgiving break had begun, so his monday would be spent annotating a new book for his son in between rush hours. it was when two familiar faces entered the diner that he hardly glanced up, noticing the gilmores immediately. "hey jess, how's it going?"

"well, i'm not bleeding or anything so..." jess shrugged towards the woman while he scribbled in a final note for an older bowie. rory kept her eyes on him while luke handed the two mugs of coffee. he had something in his head, especially when he kept glancing out the window every few seconds. "that's good," lorelai nodded before turning to luke.

"what are you reading now? more jane austen?" rory teased while eyeing the boy and taking a sip of her warm coffee. his eyes didn't dare look up from her while he shut the book, "uh huh." he nodded with a thin lipped smile. rory noticed the children's book in his hands and grinned, "didn't know you were that behind. that makes sense with your book taste though."

"this is bowie's, i'm just writing some stuff in the margins for him for when he learns to read," jess shrugged without noticing the sudden change in demeanor when he mentioned his son. the baby had never been to stars hollow. jess also rarely brought up his son to anyone, especially stars hollow-ers. miss patty and babette already whispered about the rebellion enough as it was. he didn't need to add to it by opening up to people who didn't care about him. "oh... that's sweet," rory forced a smile before sinking down into her seat. she felt shorter.

jess picked up the coffee to begin to refill a few cups throughout the diner. his stance was interrupted once the diner phone began to ring, luke noticed this quickly. it wasn't long before he grabbed the coffee from jess's hand and hardly offered to do refills for him instead. jess knew luke was up to something but hesitantly took the phone call, "luke's."

"nice greeting," a voice echoed on the other side making jess's infamous smirk spread across his face. y/n. "well, i thought i'd ask you to marry me. but i was worried our meat supplier was on the other line," jess teased into the phone while his hand went in his pocket. he subconsciously turned around so his back was to the rest of the diner. wanting to be alone with y/n, as if that was possible through this.

"thought so," y/n hummed with an obvious smile. "hey, bowie's missing his dad."

"is bowie's mom also missing bowie's dad?" jess asked with his typical teasing tone towards his friend. "bowie's mom may be. but she doesn't exactly want to give him the satisfaction of that. bowie's dad is very cocky," y/n says through the phone while luke spots something through the window and smiles.

the sound of the bell was a familiar one. reminding the people in the diner that someone had arrived. jess was so used to it now that he didn't bat an eye typically, but this time he glanced around his shoulder for a moment. his eyes glancing back at the figure stood infront of the door. jess's brown eyes locked on them for a second as he dropped the wired phone and bolted past the counter to them.

stood before his eyes was y/n and bowie. the eleven month old was in her arms with a pacifier between his lips. y/n wore a smile while she placed her phone in her pocket with a free hand. she was engulfed in jess's scent immediately as he threw the two into his arms. cigarettes, cheap cologne, and coffee erupting comfortably into her. "hey, watch out i have a baby."

jess ignored her words, but lightened his grip on her while taking bowie out of her arms to hold him. "bowie, hey..." his voice trailed off as he held onto his son. he was interrupted with emotion by being with his son once again. because as much as fatherhood was something he never wished upon himself, ever desired whatsoever, it had turned into the best thing that ever happened to him.

"hi kid," luke greeted the teenage girl while walking over to give her a side hug. he turned his attention towards jess who was hugging his baby with a grin he hadn't seen in awhile. "i thought about our talk last night, jess. you were right."

jess glanced over at his uncle before looking back at y/n with a smile. which shocked even him, because a smile was not something he'd done while being in stars hollow. "so..." luke's voice trailed off while he gave the floor to y/n. who took it and looked at jess, "i think bowie needs to be with his dad... and his mom."

the group shared a few looks, mixed with confusion and happiness. "i asked lorelai for a favor, y/n and bowie are gonna stay at the inn for a few weeks. until you guys can figure out a place." luke started with a nod. "you're gonna be eighteen in a few months, you're gonna graduate in a few months. i want you to do that, jess. so, i brought you some courage... as cheesy as that sounds."

jess looked between the two for a moment before sharing a nod with his uncle, as if a thank you in their own language.

"hey, i'm lorelai. it's nice to meet you i've heard so much about you. we seem to have a lot in common," lorelai interjected as she walked over and introduced herself to y/n. y/n knew her fair share of scoop of the town. her daily phone calls to jess were hardly just baby talk. she'd spent a lot of them telling him to go out with lorelai's daughter, who seemed good for him. but every-time... something was holding him back. "yeah you too, i'm y/n. thank you for everything, by the way. you really didn't have to let me."

"c'mon we're moms, we help eachother out. we can be like desperate housewives. but with no men," lorelai smiled while giving y/n's hand a squeeze. "oh! this is my bowie, rory."

"hey," y/n greeted with an awkward wave towards the other teenage girl who still seemed in shock by the situation. she forced a smile and waved, "hey."

the dispute was a lot more awkward than y/n could have hoped. but a sense of envy had taken over the both of them as they reflected on past or current relations with jess. an awkwardness that washed away quickly when y/n’s eyes locked back on jess and her son. a favorite sight of hers.

“c’mon,” jess nodded towards y/n while she took the baby out of his arms. he grabbed her bag and placed a free hand on her back, mumbling goodbyes before exiting the diner with his two. the three took the scenic tour towards the inn. bowie cracking a million smiles at the tons of birds in sight. the two teenagers reciprocating the action with shared giggles at the baby’s happiness.

the moment they entered the room, jess sat down with bowie to let y/n unpack a little bit. while the two caught up on unspoken things. “so… that was rory,” y/n says suggestively while unpacking her toiletries in the bathroom. jess was sprawled out on the bed with bowie in his arms, playing superman. he turned to her once she erupted from the bathroom and took a seat beside him. “that was rory.”

“she’s pretty,” y/n nodded with a small smile. in an attempt to be polite about jess’s possible love interest, yet he seemed hardly interested when bowie was around. “i guess,” jess shrugged before holding bowie back up in his arms. “have you asked her out yet?”

“i’m not too focused on that,” jess answered while clearly wanting the conversation to be done. y/n only smiled at the sight of the baby, gently rubbing his back. jess’s eyes locked onto her once more. watching her look at bowie with all the love made his eyes gleam. the way her smile spread with love, only made his heart beat faster happily. “thanks.”

y/n glanced over to him at his word, furrowing her eyebrows gently while she looked into his eyes. “for what?”

“for being here, i guess.” he mumbles while turning back to face bowie and bring him closer to him, the baby resting his head on jess’s chest. y/n smiled at the sight while leaning into the pillow, happily watching the two. “of course.”

so, the two laid back into the bed. smiling at the sight of their baby falling into a comforting sleep. followed by y/n minutes later, at a moment of peace. finally having someone she trusted with her baby so she could peacefully have a break. jess shut his eyes to the sound of the light breaths of both his favorite people. never having felt something so perfect once again in his life.

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