#not me taking this show seriously LMAOAOAOA

[kxisuke]

bsd men (anyone of ur choice :D) when reader says it’s "small" as a joke but they take it seriously LMAOAOAOA

✧ BSD MEN WHEN YOU SAY IT’S ”SMALL”

✧ p. dazai osamu, ranpo edogawa, chuuya nakahara, fyodor dostoevsky

✧ tw. sexual references

— a/n. i think this is by far the funniest request i’ve received, and i am all for it :D thank you so much anon for your request, and hope you enjoy this!!

-> DAZAI OSAMU

• You should have seen how fast this man’s head spun around when he heard you say that. You’re surprised he didn’t break his neck. • Immediately, he’s standing in front of you, fingers lifting up your chin ever so slightly, and you can’t seem to read his emotions. • He’s not afraid to show you exactly how wrong you are • Pinning you back against the kitchen counter, he would laugh quietly to himself while closing the distance between the two of you. • Takes you right then and there, at a mouth watering pace. Even though it was a joke, you can tell he took it seriously by how hard he’s treating you

“Its small, huh? Then how come it has you screaming like that, love?”

-> RANPO EDOGAWA

• The poor baby :( • You’re both sitting on the couch, and he lets out a whine and you swear you can see him tearing up • You immediately tell him it’s a joke, but he doesn’t want to hear it. • He pulls you on top of him and buries his head in your chest, fake sobbing into your breasts. • He secretly vows to prove his worth and show you that you’re wrong about him. • Why would he let you tell him what he’s like? He’s the boss, after all. • You assume he forgets about it for the rest of the day, because he doesn’t bring it up again. • But when you’re going to get ready for bed, he pushes you down and hungrily kisses you.

“You’re wrong about me, princess. Let me show you exactly how good I can make you feel.”

-> CHUUYA NAKAHARA

• He already hates being teased about his height by other people • So when you make the joke, he isn’t very impressed • He doesn’t really know what to say, other than to let a scowl spread across his mouth for a brief moment • It was replaced quickly by a smirk because he knew exactly what he could do with this opportunity. • He didn’t hesitate for a second to push you down on the couch, his knee sliding in between your legs, spreading them apart for him. • His lips are just a whisper away from your own, and he’s making your heart race a million miles an hour in pure expectation.

“You really think so? How about we test that out, dear.”

-> FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY

• Is genuinely offended • He didn’t really see through the joke at first, and stared at you for a good 30 seconds with an “are you serious?” face. • Then it finally clicked in that you were only joking • He didn’t think it was very funny though • He forgets about it for a good 5 minutes when you disappear to go make some tea, but it immediately comes back to him when you sit down on the couch next to him • He carefully takes the hot cup of tea out of your hands, placing it on the table before intertwining your fingers with his • Pulling you onto his lap, he pushes his hips upward so you can feel the large bulge in his pants, lips turning up into a sly smile when he sees your eyes widen.

“Why so surprised, baby? I thought you said it was ‘small’?”

#bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x you #bungou stray dogs smut #bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs x you #bungo stray dogs smut #dazai x reader #ranpo x reader #chuuya x reader #fyodor x reader #bsd x reader #bsd headcanons