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theemporium · 27 days

Note

Congrats on 10k! I absolutely love your writing! It always makes me feel warm and fuzzy 💕

I was wondering if I could request violet fluff 💜 prompt #31 with James Potter? Thanks so much, hope you’re having a great day 🥰

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

31. “I’ve been in love with you since the day we met."

James Potter honestly thought he was losing his mind.

He liked to pride himself over the fact he was good with people: talking to them, understanding them, observing them. He was a social butterfly and fairly empathetic, and he could talk to a brick wall and somehow still make it one of the most entertaining conversations people have ever witnessed.

He tended to thrive in social situations, basking in the attention when the spotlight was on him. He was never made for the shadows or outskirts. He was made to be the person someone could always rely on in public, the one who could change the conversation when needed or keep things from becoming stagnant and awkward.

But all of those skills felt redundant and useless when it came to you.

Because, here’s the thing—James is, like, ninety-nine percent sure that you aren’t doing it on purpose which honestly makes the whole thing worse.

James Potter is not a subtle man. Far from it, if anyone is concerned. He is open with his feelings and wants and desires and dreams. He wears his heart on his sleeve and he wears it proudly. And he has been flirting with you since day one.

And you flirt back. He swears you flirt back. Hell, despite the way they mocked how lovesick and besotted he was, even his friends were sure you flirted back because that was the only way to describe your banter. It was flirty and teasing and, on some occasions, mimicked that of an old married couple.

But just when James thinks he is finally getting somewhere with you, you pull a total one-eighty on him and he is left thinking that you are unaware of it all. That maybe—just fucking maybe—you are oblivious to James’ obvious and unsubtle attempts.

He is also pretty sure you don’t realise that half of your hangouts with the boy were his attempts at asking you on a date.

And he was losing his goddamn mind.

It’s almost ironic that all it would take was a potions assignment for things to come together.

“It’s a simple potion, there really shouldn’t be any mistakes or problems,” Slughorn announced as he wandered through the room, his robes swishing behind him with each step. “If you have any problems, just ask but this potion should be easy for your age.”

And the thing was, yeah, it was pretty easy. James looked at the instructions and it was something he could have done with his eyes closed if he really wanted to.

But Remus wasn’t in class today, instead deciding to take the day off with the full moon having just passed. And your usual partner wasn’t in either. And now you were partners together and you were really pretty and, honestly, James couldn’t be blamed for being a little distracted.

He also didn’t know that fucking up the potion would turn it into an accidental truth serum.

In fact, he didn’t even realise until the two of you were too busy laughing at Slughorn demanding the two of you go to the bathrooms to clean up, halfway down the corridor when he turned to look at you and just blurted out the words before he could stop himself.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty.”

You paused, shoes squeaking against the floor as you looked at him with wide eyes. “What did you say?”

And before he could even try to come up with an excuse, he was talking again. “I said you’re pretty. Because you are. I always think you’re pretty but you’re prettier when you laugh.”

You blinked. “You really think that?”

“Of course I do,” James retorted, almost snorting a little at the incredulous tone of your voice. “I think you’re one of the most gorgeous girls in this world. It’s why I flirt with you, like, every day.”

Your cheeks warmed. “Oh.”

“I’ve been in love with you since the day we met,” James continued because he couldn’t really bring himself to stop. “And I really want to kiss you all the time. I just don’t know if you like me back or not.”

“I do,” you blurted out, but there was a smile on your face—even if it was a little shy. “I do like you back. And I want to kiss you too.”

“Sweet,” James grinned and then, because he was a man of action and promises, he closed the distance between the two of you.

His warm palms cupped your cheek, his body pressed against every inch of your own before he kissed you. It was dizzying and slightly surreal. It made your head spin when his tongue swiped over your lips before exploring your mouth. It made your knees buckle when a low groan sounded from the back of his throat.

But it was everything the two of you wanted and more.

And yeah, maybe James Potter was going to lose his mind if this was how good it felt to kiss you.

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softshiin · 2 years

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thunderstruck

ଘ summary. some of the tr boys experiencing love at first sight

๑ includes! shinichiro sano, hanma shuji, wakasa imaushi (teen!waka)

ଘ cw. mentions of people getting beaten up, slight mention of blood, mention of cigarettes in shuji’s, fem!reader

notes. helloo i figured that i’d love to write for tokyo revengers as well, so here i am <3

remember that there could be some grammatical mistakes!

shinichiro

; okay so we all know that shin is most likely to fall for every pretty woman he sees

; but hey, this time he felt that it would go well?

; he was in the middle of a fight, obviously getting beaten up, when you suddenly showed up

; managed somehow to get out of that situation, and went straight to you

; yes. with all the blood on his face, but his sweet smile was also there

“hey, um, excuse me!” he tried to catch your attention, after he made sure that the guys who were with him were gone

as soon as you saw him, you almost got an heart attack. god his face was all red.

shin was expecting you to ignore him, and walk away like all the previous girls did. i mean, how could he blame them? they were probably scared.

then you suddenly stopped, starting to search for a tissue and some water in your bag. “oh my what to do, your face is a mess. let me help you”

; a spark lighted shinichiro’s eyes. maybe you were the one.

shuji

; as always, he was randomly beating up guys that pissed him off

; the haitani brothers were watching him from the sidelines, kind of bored from the usual situation

“come onnn, this is so boring” he said after taking the last one down, lighting up his cigarette

; then something unusual got his attention

; a girl, walking with a fast pace, went straight for the alley he was in

; he thought that was really strange, since people normally avoid that street

; and he soon discovered the cause: some random creep was following her

“now, this is fun” he smirked, tossing his cigarette on one of the dudes hands.

; after you walked past him, he suddenly grabbed, gently, your wrist

“it’s alright now” , he said, as he kinda tossed you towards the haitani brothers, who looked at you with understanding eyes and little smiles

; then shuji rapidly took the old man by the collar and threw him on the ground

“let’s have some fun, shall we?”

; and that’s how you met hanma shuji

wakasa

; alr so we all know that he was the prettiest boy around, but surprisingly he didn’t have any girls around him??

; and this kinda bothered him, not that he wanted a whole fan club or anything

; but… c’mon he knew he wasn’t ugly, and he expected at least a few chicks?

; this lil “problem” was always brought up whenever he was with the boys

; and he ended up being made fun of just like shinichiro was

“at least i talk to girls” he always said, with his dumb grin on his face

; waka didn’t even bother to answer him at this point

; the tables turned when he was walking around with the gang, taking a stroll in a new neighborhood

“here kitty~ come here~” they heard a soft voice, seeing then a cat running away after hearing them arriving

“… why?” you sighed, standing up without noticing them

“sorry, we scared him away” the blonde apologized.

; you then flinched and turned around, to be faced by four tall and kinda intimidating boys

; this is where wakasa fell in love with you.

; you were literally the cutest person he’d ever seen

; on your face and clothes there were still some fur, and your hair was a mess because the kitten probably played with it

“so cute..” he mumbled

#tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyo revengers #shinichiro sano #shinichiro x you #shinichiro hcs #shinichiro headcanons #wakasa #wakasa imaushi #wakasa x you #wakasa headcanons #tokyo revengers wakasa #hanma #hanma shuji #hanma fluff #hanma x y/n #hanma headcanons #hanma x reader #tokyo revengers x y/n #tokyo revengers x reader

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nogenderbee · 2 months

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♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕓𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕤 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕔𝕣𝕒𝕫𝕪 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ not a request

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ I couldn't hold any event for Valentine's this year because of lack of motivation so I just picked my favorites (or the ones I felt like writing atm) out of all groups and wrote different classic prompts for them! Hope it's also a decent celebration!

And happy being in love with someone, your pet or yourself! Whatever suits you haha

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff, TW: mentions of scars and scratching in An part, amnesia and mentions of coma and hospital in Rui's part

Affiliation with @virtualbookstore

✧ soul mates (scars show on both)

You weren't really the ugliest nor did you lack any charm. So you went through lot of relationships, but every single one had something wrong with them... They either only cared about looks and profits from your relationship, couldn't accept you as you were or you just didn't felt like they were the ones you wanted to spend rest of your life with.

Maybe it was nice to have experience in dating, but it was also disappointing with time... how hard can it be to fine your life partner? Do they even exist?

To forget about your worries, you went to your favorite cafe on Vivid Street, Weekend Garage.

"Hey An... some strong coffee please..."

"Woah! That's not like you at all! Are you alright? Don't tell my you had another break up..."

"Yeah, unfortunely I did... I'm starting to doubt there is person right for me... available at least..."

You added last part on purpose, since you always felt a bit warm around An and it wasn't necessarily thanks to the amazing coffee she could make. She was like your comfort space. We're you falling for her? Maybe. Did it felt like she cared more about her singing partner than you? Yes... And you couldn't blame her. She deserves more than anyone to be happy!

"Have you thought of using the soulmate method? It's enough if you scratch your cheek enough to make it a bit red and it'll show."

"Maybe but... I don't want to hurt my soulmate..."

"You too?! Yeah, I'd already check but I don't want to cause problems for them..."

"Well... would you be willing to do it with me? Just small scratch? I'd feel more confident with friend next to me..."

"You know what? Sure! I'll do it on left cheek and you do it on right. Remember not to overdo it, just a little red space!"

You both brought your nails to cheeks, shutting your eyes and gently scratching your cheeks gently. When you opened them, you saw An staring at you with small shock and both of her cheeks slightly red.

"Are you blushing...?"

"No. I'm actually not... But it may be the case too I guess... because if I am then... you're too..."

You looked at your reflection in the glass and did notice both of your cheeks slightly red. It was her! The girl you found too perfect for you for this whole time, being your soulmate!

You both smiled at each other as if you just as a miracle. It was her who finally broke the silence.

"How about I take a break and we can both calmly catch up? Coffee and cake on me!"

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@bleachtheidiot @badwhole @qxmmi - come get your star girl!

✧ love from first sight

Ichika was just hanging around in the music shop. She was looking through Miku shelve, looking for the newest album that recently dropped.

Though she couldn't find it even tho she looked through whole shop 6 times if not more! So she decided to approach a worker there with hopes of getting the album she came here for.

"Excuse me... I'm guessing you work here... Do you maybe have... uh..."

You turned around once you heard someone calling for you. It was long blue haired girl. She surely didn't lack any charms but you had to swallow the urge to flirt or ask for her number since you were during your work hours.

She couldn't make up any words, stuttering. You thought she's just shy and wanted to encourage her a bit.

"Yes? What may I help you with? I assure you I can definitely at least try finding your album."

She cleared her throat and tried fixing her composure. Sure, she was a bit shy on daily basis but when she saw you? It's like her words stopped at her lips and instead turned into pink hue on her cheeks.

"I-I wanted to know if you maybe have... Miku... albums... album! A... recent album. Miku album. Heh..."

She scolded herself in her thoughts for ruining her chances. She wanted to just grab that album and leave at this point.

"Ah, I think I know which one you mean! You have a good taste I just admit! Follow me, it should be somewhere in the corner area..."

Girl followed you while avoiding eye contact. Once she saw the album she wanted, she hesitantly grabbed it. She couldn't shake off the thought you also liked Miku... That's of course not uncommon but she was charmed by you from the beginning.

"Thank you. You helped me a lot... I'll... head to pay and... hopefully we can meet again!!"

After these words she rushed away. She couldn't believe how emberassed she was in that moment, she even said things that she normally wouldn't. Now afraid to come back because she might make things even more awkward, but on the other hand, she also wanted to see you again... And you did! You just didn't knew you both fell for each other at the same time and couldn't admit to it because of different obstacles.

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@bleachtheidiot @prsk-krow - come get your Miku lover!

✧ enemies to lovers

You and Ena were in the same art class and you were enemies almost everywhere when art came in the way. In classes you were always asking teacher who's drawing is better or which had less flaws. In media you were comparing your followers and likes count just to rub it into other ones face.

Though soon enough your competition changed into... wanting to impress another. You both felt the same but none of you knew about it. Too proud to admit it, you covered your desire to impress another with simply being a bit mean.

"Ha! Would you look at that! Your drawing is so much worse than mine!"

"Oh shut up!! At least I didn't made grass yellow like you did!"

"It's shade of green! Not yellow! It's you making composition mistake 3 times in a row!"

"And you messed up the lightning 4 times in a row!"

"And you have pretty face and I'm not mentioning it somehow!!"

"And you-!! Wait what..."

Both of you stopped in your tracks. Suddenly the childish fight was replaced by silence. She wanted to say something but her thoughts were filled with you complimenting her.

"Um... last photo you posted... it was... pretty..."

"(Last photo I posted...? Do they mean my selfie with night town in background?!)"

Brown haired girl blushed gently as she argued with herself what to tell. You weren't in the public eye so maybe it was alright to say something opposite to insulting for once?

"Well I... found a nice cafe I wanted to go but I didn't wanted to go alone..."

She put a strand of her hair behind her ear as she looked away. Now small blush appearing on your face as well... she've never spoken so softly to you before!

"And... what if we went there together?"

You looked up awkwardly, looking her in the eyes with small hope. It was rather awkward talk of yours since you're usually competing against each other and now you're both trying to ask another on a date without saying it out loud.

"Sure. I guess it's alright since... I can check it right away instead of waiting for others..."

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@bleachtheidiot @qxmmi @modyuki - come get your cheesecake lover~

✧ forbidden love

Shizuku was an idol and a model, and you were her manager. You had to look as friends because rumors would spread in blink of an eye and you'd loose your job, while she'd have to deal with not only new manager but also all the messages from her fans.

But both of you weren't friends, in fact you were dating for 3 months now and none of you felt even slightly bit like it's not working out!

"Y/N!! What are you doing here standing with head in clouds?"

You felt someone hugging you from behind and could only chuckle as you knew well who it has to be.

"Hey Shizuku. Are you done with your practice now?"

"Mhm! I thought we might visit a cafe nearby?"

"Well... are you sure? We both know we often tend to be affectionate and forget about other people... we can't just show off like that even if we'd want to..."

"Ah right... we could ask for to go cakes from there then and I'll make us drinks!"

"Hehe~ Sounds good to me. We can go to my place then and I can get blankets ready while you make drinks."

"Sounds perfect~!"

She immidietly hugged you tighter and kissed your cheek. It was obvious she was excited to start your little date, but so were you!

You exchanged one last kiss before you left without even letting your pinkies touch. You wanted to seem like just 2 friends on a hangout and ordering some sweets for movie night! Nothing out of the ordinary!

Your relationship wasn't even supposed to exist and it unfortunely was an obvious fact. But you didn't wanted to listen to any of it and made it real either way! You just kept it a secret from everyone outside of MMJ~

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@bleachtheidiot @qwnelisa @miya-akane - come get your beautiful model~

✧ amnesia

Rui was an inventor not only for WxS but also for his own benefits. He didn't care much how dangerous the robots in his room are as long as he gets to have a bit of fun while making them and showing them off when they're finished!

Though one day... he let you come a bit too close to one of his robots... and now there he was. Coming to your hospital bed every day with one flower, now forking bouquet on your desk.

Today he came with no other intentions, to see his loved one asleep and tell them about the show he did at Phoenix Wonderland this afternoon.

"Hey love... I know I'm late but I just-"

He stopped in his tracks upon seeing you sitting up and your eyes open, accompanied with curious look. He immidietly ran up to you, taking your hand in his as he started to tear up a bit.

"You're awake! Oh I have so much to tell you... there's so much to catch up and-"

"Who are you?"

After these words his smile was wiped away. Did you forgot him? Doctors had told him you have small amnesia and don't remember few recent years of your live but... do you not remember him at all?

But your voice was gentle... you even brought a hand to wipe his tears away. He saw it as act of your kind personality but you... you found him so pretty you couldn't help yourself but admire him a bit. You had no idea who he was but you just felt so safe with him around...

"You're so pretty..."

He looked up at you, regaining small smark of hope. Your words gave him just the push he needed to realize that even if you forgot him, he'll do his best to make new pretty memories with you.

"And so are you, my dear... Will you let me take you to nice cafe after they let you out? I know for one you really like cookies there..."

You nodded your head, not even knowing why. He just felt so safe and familiar, you wanted to be next to him.

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@bleachtheidiot @yulikesminori @toyaswif3y @bl4cktourmaline - come get your crazy inventor!

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sapphic-agent · 9 months

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I think one of my main annoyances in Hori writing is him trying to redeem every villain and hero that some of them just doesn’t deserve that redemption.

Like; it’s reminds me too much of Naruto. But the difference is Naruto isn’t being held by modern standards since it set in a fictional world with ninjas while bnha is set in 200+ years in the future in modern japan.

I absolutely despise Endeavor and how he abused his family as a whole; in modern society he would have been put in jail, and yet he still gets a redemption arc. It’s feels like it’s cheapen all of the todorokis trauma.

And shoto being bakugo friend is another thing, since bakugo is so much like endeavor… like, if I had a classmate that act so much like my abusive parent that I absolutely despise I wouldn’t be close to them at all.

It’s gave me bad feeling how Hori just brushes all of the trauma the characters have from the actions of other characters selfish acts.

When I started reading the manga in 2015 I thought the concept is really good and having a main character with anxiety and socialization problems (in the start) made me hooked, because I had those things too. But looking at it now 8 years later I just feel so much dissatisfaction and disappointments..

You have a great point about Naruto. I mean, I'm not a fan of Naruto because of reasons, but it's the same concept as to why I like Vegeta better than Bakugou despite Vegeta technically being a worse person. Because MHA and DBZ are two very different shows. One is about becoming stronger and being able to face any threat to the world no matter what, the other is trying to push a narrative about morality and being a "true hero." The Z Fighters do have their own moral compasses, but it varies between every character. So there's no overarching theme that's beating us over the head.

Someone described this problem with MHA perfectly; it's constantly preaching about morality while willfully being tone deaf about its own overlaying issues. And that wouldn't even be so bad if so many of these issues weren't set up in the beginning to be addressed later.

I talk a lot about Bakugou, but I think we should focus on Endeavor like you mentioned. Not only are they similar in nature (temperamental, overzealous, dangerously ambitious), they're also two characters who benefit the most from the system in MHA.

...And it's barely ever acknowledged.

I mean sure, Dabi calls Endeavor out and it leads to the public losing faith in heroes. But not only does the family he abused and/or neglected choose to help him (I can't get over Fuyumi and Natsu taking blame for Touya when they were LITERAL CHILDREN wtf, not to mention Rei), why he was allowed to do this is never addressed. People knew he wasn't the kind hero All Might was, and it was something his fans admired along with his strength. Because as long as you have a strong quirk, you're admired in the MHA world and allowed to get away with whatever you want. Yet this is overlooked so easily.

(I like Hawks (because of Zeno Robinson mainly), but him dismissing this is so weird?? Why on Earth would Horikoshi go out of his way to introduce a character with an abusive father and make him an Endeavor fan? With no moment of clarity either?? There's something really off about that)

Bakugou's apology (one day I'll make a post critiquing this scene) is a little better in this regard as he does acknowledge that he was enabled because of his quirk. But again, it's really just skimmed over and only referenced to give Bakugou an excuse.

And the people who do question society and its system are either villains who are use it as an excuse to cause destruction and hurt people (the LOV and Overhaul) or bloodthirsty murderers (Stain). I would have loved for Horikoshi to introduce a group of vigilantes or anti-heroes who work outside of the HPSC and call out how discriminatory their system is.

Someone's talked about this before, but the Todoroki and Bakugou "friendship" was so forced and unnecessary. Bakugou has, at every turn, been completely unsympathetic towards the fact that Todoroki was abused and yelled at his sister for talking about it in her own home (but sure, let's call Bakugou an abuse victim I guess). Todoroki should have at the very least remained indifferent towards Bakugou like he was in the beginning.

Izuku deserves so much better than how Horikoshi treats him. He's either used as a tool to make Bakugou better or he's shoved into the background of his own show. He was so relatable in the beginning of the series only for the plot to suck his character dry.

#anti bakugou katsuki #bnha critical #mha critical #anti bakugo katsuki #anti bakugou #anti endeavor #anti enji todoroki #izuku deserves better #anon ask #ask

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leighsartworks216 · 6 months

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I Come With Knives Pt6

Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader

(The other parts of this story are under the First BG3 Masterlist, or you can use the AO3 link to read it there)

This one is my problem child. I have no idea how to write for the other companions but I needed to have this as context for the companions learning about Tav's bg and yeah whatever I've got better stuff coming up. I am very very excited for future chapters >:)

Warnings: self-destructive coping mechanisms (scratching oneself), mentions of slavery, hints of a panic attack, mentions of emotional abuse, mentions of biting, possibly OOC companions

Word Count: 1,334

Main Masterlist

First Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist - Second Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist

I Come With Knives Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

Everyone eyed you warily. You didn’t blame them. After you scrubbed your hands raw of the blood staining them, you provided no explanation. You’d basically sped in, Astarion trailing behind, and ran for a bucket of water. And stayed there. For hours. After the fact, you changed out the water, of course, but they weren’t concerned as much with the pink-tinted water as they were with the frantic nature you scraped the natural dye from your hands.

Astarion didn’t say anything either. A few of them had tried asking, but he smiled tersely and made an excuse that changed each time. “I was too distracted fighting a beast.” “You know how some people get with germs.” “They really hate the color red.” (This one was not said to Karlach, nor in her earshot.)

It all came to a head at dinner, when you’d still provided no explanation. Gale handed out servings silently, staring at you as though studying a new specimen. Lae’zel watched you like a predator trying to defend her territory, prepared for the moment the intruder stepped over the line. Shadowheart barely repressed her scowl.

Wyll set down his bowl pointedly. “Haven’t you kept your secrets hidden long enough?” You raise your eyes from your barely-touched stew. You didn’t quite see him. Your mind lingered on the image of the Gur. “Do you expect us to continue following blindly while we pour our souls out for you?”

You bristled. The image disappeared, tucked away to haunt you later. “No. No, I’m sorry.” You sighed and set your bowl aside. Everyone watched you expectantly, more interested in what you could say than filling their bellies. “It’s just… difficult to talk about.”

“Speak,” Lae’zel encourages roughly. “We will listen.”

Astarion frowns at you. He’s taken to sitting beside you for ‘dinner’. They knew by now he wasn’t suited to eating normal food, but he didn’t quite trust them not to stake him through the heart or cut his head off. It was safest to linger by your side. The irony of your trust in him was not lost on him: You understood him best and you feared him the most. That fear may have dampened over time, but you still flinched at the gleam of his fangs, watched him as he left camp to hunt at night. Yet you’d bared your soul to him and him alone. He couldn’t wrap his head around it.

You inhale, slow and shaky. Your hands fiddle in your lap, providing you some sort of distraction. It would not be enough to ground you to reality should the thoughts become too potent.

“I was… am,” you corrected unsurely, “a vampire’s thrall. She… uses me as a blood source. Has used me, for years. I’ve been stuck under her thumb since I was a teenager. It’s… easier to have one consistent source of food than to go out looking for it every night.

“When we were out in the woods,” you nod your head slightly toward Astarion, “there was a Gur. A monster hunter. A-And he said he was looking for a runaway.” Your breaths sharpen into quick, frightened little things. You nearly choke on them. You stare into the fire. Your nails start scratching at your hands. You don’t even realize you’re doing it. “He had nothing to go on, just a name, but I panicked and I- I killed him. I shouldn’t have. I know I shouldn’t have. I could have explained everything. I could have paid him off. I could have-”

“Steady on, soldier,” Karlach interrupts. You can’t look at her, can’t draw your eyes away from the flickering flames, but you know she looks worried. It always amazed you how openly she wore her emotions, despite it all. “Take a breath, okay?”

Your nails stop scratching in favor of digging into your skin. You take a breath, slowly let it out, and your nails ease off. You run your fingertips mindlessly over the indents left behind.

You whisper, unable to raise your voice any further. “He said my master is in Berdusk.”

Quiet. Gale spoke up, voicing the awful realization everyone had. “That’s only a few miles from Baldur’s Gate.”

You nod.

“You’re marchin’ right back to her.” Karlach sighs, heavy and empathetic.

You finally lift your eyes from the fire. Everyone’s attention is on you, pitying and remorseful. “I have no choice. I can’t abandon you all just to run away. Especially with these tadpoles. I have no doubts she’ll find me quickly once we reach the city.”

“We could confront her,” Wyll suggests. “Go to Berdusk, face her head on, free you!”

“It’s not some goblin camp we can just walk into and clear out,” you protest. The idea thrills you to no end, but you cannot allow yourself that hope. Not when there is none. You will be found. Tonight, the next, a week from now. You’ll be locked back into your servitude. There is no chance you have to be free. “Killing a vampire lord isn’t- It’s not just-”

Astarion speaks up. You don’t expect it; he’d been so quiet this whole time. “If we can kill Cazador, we can kill Kir Parthene.” Your stomach rolls around at the sound of her name. “What makes facing my master any different from yours?”

You know the answer. Even if you don’t realize it yet, you know.

You have no qualms threatening Cazador. You’ve even told Astarion that you plan to help him kill his master, once and for all. Free him and his ‘siblings’, and rid Baldur’s Gate of the nighttime threat to its people. No longer would they have to go out, lure victims in as food for the vampire lord. It was so easy to promise. If you could help everyone else, why should you leave Astarion to the same fate you faced after this quest? He should be as free as possible from the chains binding him.

So why couldn’t you let them swear the same for you? What made Kir Parthene so different from Cazador? She was not stationed in as large a city, she did not steal souls off the street every night just for a quick meal, she did not personally carve poetry into the flesh of those beneath her. She had power, but no more than Cazador held. So why were you so reluctant to even dream of your freedom?

You were afraid.

Astarion can see the very second you know the answer to his question. Your eyes open a fraction wider, filling with a bottomless dread. Your heart stutters and your breath catches. He’s sure you’re on the verge of tears as you inhale a trembling breath, trying to keep yourself from hyperventilating, even as your fear squeezes your lungs.

“You won’t have to face her alone.” You turn to look at Shadowheart. “You’ve given us the strength to face our demons. We can help you face yours.”

You want to believe her. Believe all of them as they nod in agreement. Believe they could give you the strength you lacked, support you when you come face-to-face with her once more.

But then you see the deep crimson of her eyes and lips. You feel her nails digging into your skin. The cooing affections that come just after the harsh vitriol. Her teeth digging deep into your neck. How can you have any hope of facing her?

You shake your head and push yourself to your feet so fast Astarion is startled. “I’m sorry. I can’t think about this right now.” You abandon your dinner. It sits, lonely and growing cold, as you step away from the warm glow of the fire and the safety of your companions into the edge of trees surrounding your camp. You don’t go far, just far enough you can’t hear them speaking and they can’t see you collapse against a tree, clutching and clawing at your hands to remove the memories from your mind.

At least they know now.

---

Tag List:

@hypopxia @flsalazar @beverlybeav @angelofthorr @emiemiemiii @marina-and-the-memes @aurasyn @furblrwurblr @cappsikle @mjmygd @thegirlsadventuresinwonderland @kindadolly @bloopthebat @pandimoostuff @chesb0red @black-star1472 @sessils @olitheghostboy-blog @puppyg1rl666 @maruichio @cyber-dump-171 @katharynmarie @twinkliker3000 @cherifrog @catching-fire-in-the-wind @phantoms-fandom-blog @thespectacularspaceace @lynnlovesthestars @sylverqueen_cosplay @yarn_yogi @tototini @teardropcup

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eff-plays · 2 months

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So my problem with AA stans claiming to be "dark romance enjoyers" is that it's uuh. Incorrect.

I'm a fantasy romance writer and I have been in the same circles as dark romance enjoyers and writers. Like full on omegaverse non-con type shit. I don't like it myself and think it's wack, but the reasoning of the people who enjoy it is that they have lingering shame around wanting sex, around purity culture, potentially homophobia with men who enjoy omegaverse stuff, so a bigstrong alpha man who forces them to enjoy something they secretly want is a sexual fantasy to them. They can hold onto that "purity" and "innocence" and not have any shame around wanting sex, because technically someone else is forcing it on them. They can explore that safely within fiction, and don't necessarily want that to happen to them IRL, unless it's within kink scenes etc. And yeah I don't get it, but it is something people do and own doing, and I can't stop them so as long as they're doing it over there, it's none of my business.

But AA fans claim to love the "dark romance" of it, but then turn around and say that no!! He's NOT abusive!! He's NOT going to assault or mind-control Tav, it's NOT an unhealthy relationship, they're EQUALS and he ADORES them and won't disrespect them!! Just look at the backlash to the "kneel" kiss, people who got so mad that Tav looks distraught.

But look at what BW said in the infamous Discord screenshot: it's fine to enjoy the fantasy, but it's not healthy in-universe. The game itself says "maybe you enjoy degrading yourself."

But AA stans looked at that and went "UM NO!!! IT IS HEALTHY!! I'M BEING SHAMED!!! >:(" and "OH POOR BABY THINKS HE'S BELOW US AND THAT'S WHY HE THINKS WE'RE DEGRADING OUTSELVES!!"

And that's where my problem stems from.

An actual dark romance enjoyer would be like "ough yes Daddy Astarion brainwash me and make me your brainless little fuckdolll sex slave and make me take your cummies every day." Not "YAAS BABE YOU AND ME ARE EQUALS AND PARTNERS IN CRIME UWU UWU UWU (ignores all the red flags and pretends they don't exist)!!!"

So like. You claim you enjoy dark romance, but you're constantly, desperately trying to erase the actual, in-game, canon darkness of it. Any hint of it you try to excuse away, or blame on the writers, or say is OOC and wrong.

You whine and complain about "fixers" and "moralizers" and "fandom police," but you yourself are policing the very romance you claim to enjoy by sanitizing it and making it into something more palatable instead of accepting how dark it actually is.

I've yet to see any AA stan have a Tav who's like a brainwashed sex slave, or in an abusive relationship with AA. All of them are just girlbosses who are co-rulers, which leads me to believe you don't enjoy "dark romance," but privilege. That's the thing that gets you off, privilege and power, particularly a priveleged and powerful man putting you on a pedestal and giving you whatever you want, taking care of you, letting you get away with bad things because he has the power to make all your issues go away. (Is this why so many AA stans are also Russian ... who said that)

And that's FINE. But just admit that? Admit that Astarion's story isn't what draws you to him, that you just enjoy the idea of a beautiful man who has power sharing it with you, and AA just happens to have those surface-level traits if you don't engage with or misinterpret the source material. Hell, I'm a villainmancer myself, who's writing a villain origin story for shits and giggles where a girl becomes a war criminal with the loving help of her edgelord goblin king.

But y'all don't do that. And that's the problemo, lads. You made up a story in your head that isn't in the game, you idolize that story, and get mad when people go "Wait, that's not in the game???"

#bg3 #astarion #astarion discourse #ANYWAY before anyone claims i'm russophobic i am literally russian so shut the fuck up #(technically i'm more swedish than russian at this point but whatever)#rape mention #anyway dark romance enjoyers aren't my team but i will defend them cuz at least those guys make sense

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becomingbuffypodcast · 7 months

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Who get the biggest passes from Buffyverse fans and can you give examples of the worst things these characters do?

Well this is a juicy question.

Spike, and Cordelia.

Interestingly, at some point, both characters were given the role of calling Buffy out on her "crap." James Marsters even talks about how he was brought in as a replacement for Cordelia in season 4, but then was replaced by Anya when they decided to do something else with him.

With Cordy being the mean girl, and Spike the soulless vampire, the writers had the freedom to use these characters to say and do some incredibly cruel things towards Buffy in the name of "brutal honesty," while also excusing their behavior because they weren't meant to be the hero...at least initially.

This worked a little too well, as Charisma and James were amazing in their roles. Each character is charming, beautiful, multifaceted, and extremely funny.

The problem is, you can't keep your characters stagnate, so the writers were forced to give Cordy and Spike character growth, but also find a way to retain who they are. This is incredibly difficult when your character was literally written to clash with Buffy, and is popular for saying mean, biting things in the name of "tough love."

-Cordelia-

While Queen C is more than the resident mean girl, her cruel words and selfish behavior are praised as "truth" and confidence, with her belittling nearly every member of the Scooby gang. She is constantly pitting herself against Buffy; (Homecoming, Halloween, etc) demeaning and belittling her when Buffy has personally saved her life several times. She begins to show signs of character growth in season 3, but once Xander cheats on her, reverts right back to blaming Buffy for everything. Instead of holding Xander accountable for his actions, she makes a wish that Buffy never came to Sunnydale, and then never sees the consequences for her own actions.

Even after her move to LA, she calls Buffy a cry-Buffy, blames her for turning Angel into Angelus, emasculates Wesley, victim blames and shames a SA survivor (Untouched), and is generally just careless about what she says or does, with no thought about how her words effect others.

Personally, while I do see some growth over her time on Angel, I do not buy her characterization in the later seasons where she is drastically changed to become a Champion, and then shoe-horned into a relationship with Angel. On top of that, she never atones for or even recognizes her need to change for her awful behavior, and that makes it very hard for me to forgive her for her past sins, let alone root for her.

It's possible that with better writing and without Joss being a horrible person, that her transition would have been more organic and believable.

-Spike-

For a show about feminism, the writers really spend a lot of time on this man. He steals Buffy's underwear, stalks her, makes a sex robot that looks just like her, attempts to kill her multiple times, boasts about killing and torturing other slayers, justifies it by saying they wanted it, ties her up, then spends a season belittling her just so that she'll sleep with him. THEN when she refuses sex with him, attempts to force himself on her.

And for those of you who say, "oh he just didn't have a soul yet." Fine.

After he had a soul, he boasts about assaulting her, shames her for using him for sex when he knew she didn't love him, shames her for not loving him, and blames her for the reason he's tortured with having a soul. (Beneath You)

He nearly kills Robin Wood, and then mocks him for not being loved by his mother (which is proven to be false in "Damage"), all while wearing the coat that he stole from Robin's mother after he killed her.

Not once does he apologize to Buffy or attempt to hold himself accountable, even after he has a soul. It is not until "Damage" on Angel that we see any sort of unselfish remorse.

Then to add insult to injury, season 7 has Buffy spending so much time taking care of Spike, rescuing Spike, training with Spike, reassuring Spike that he is a good man...all to the detriment of her other relationships. People like to blame the Potentials for why season 7 is as clunky as it is, but I blame the focus on Spike.

Even worse, the show doesn't seem to want Spike to change, as there's hardly a difference between pre souled and ensouled Spike. And that goes against the show's core tenant of choice and growth.

From the very beginning, vampires represent the opposite of adolescence in that they are stagnate and do not change. "Fool for Love" very clearly establishes that Spike's persona is created to compensate for his lack of an identity. Cecily's rejection of him deeply wounds him and he is shown to create a facade to mask his insecurities. So he takes from powerful women and forms a false identity around them to prove that he is not beneath them. The episode emphasizes this pattern with Cecily, Dru, and the two Slayers, continuing in present day with Buffy.

In order to be consistent with the lore and message of the show, ensouled Spike needed to look a lot different from un-ensouled Spike, but the writers knew he wouldn't be as popular.

And so we're left with a half baked season where we're supposed to believe that Buffy is distant from everyone but Spike, who looks the exact same as he did the season before when he tried to force himself on her.

It's just icky. It's the opposite of empowering. It blurs the lines of the lore. And it sends the wrong message.

We can like these characters and even root for them, but we need to be honest about their flaws, and not justify awful writing and problematic characterization.

#buffy summers #buffy the vampire slayer #buffy btvs #tv: btvs #buffy watching #becomingbuffypodcast #sarah michelle gellar #alyson hannigan #buffy anne summers #btvs s5 #anti spuffy #anti spike #anti cordelia #bangel #buffy and angel #buffythevampireslayer #not really anti #i dont hate them

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thekissofaphrodite · 2 months

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can u write a chris rodriguez x reader who is a kid of dionysus and she uses her perks to spend more time with chris like scheduling their quests and duties tg and stuff without his knowledge

I'M HERE TO SERVE ONCE MORE SINCE MY MAN CHRIS ISN'T GETTING THE ATTENTION HE DESERVES.

Invisible String

Chris Rodriguez x Daughter of Dionysus!reader

Summary: One single thread of gold tied him to you.

Warnings: Kinda stalker-ish behaviour (You can't blame the reader. she's too lovesick </3 )

Author's Note: I'm slowly finishing up my inbox! I do hope you guys like this MWUAH! 💋

——

"Daddy, please! Let him take archery with me!" You begged for the fifth time this afternoon, While your father sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, bringing a can of Coca-Cola up to his lips.

"Sweetheart, I can't do that. Didn't you already do stable work and Cabin cleaning with him? Not to mention, he's your partner for the Chariot Race this upcoming week!" Dionysus retorted, You were his favorite daughter, Yes. But sometimes he have his limits.

"But I never did archery with him, I wanna do archery with Chris!" You whined like a baby. Maybe this is a little bit too much. Setting yourself up accidentally with the boy you like may seem weird, but you just wanna spend time with him! After all, your dad favours him, besides who couldn't resist his dark curls and sweet smile?

Dionysus then thought for a moment, you gave him puppy eyes, and you knew he couldn't say no to his precious girl.

"Fine.."

You squeled.

"But hey— You won't be sitting next to him in the Hermes Table every dinner for a week! Your siblings needs company and—"

But before he could even finish his sentence, You left.

——

With a bow and arrow in hand, you strided through the archery area where campers gathered all around, Either flirting with the Apollo kids or practicing their skills.

You went behind Chris and tapped his shoulders, smiling widely as he greeted you.

"Hey Chris!"

He turned around and saw you, your hair in pigtail braids, Ever so beautiful.

Your presence to him was like a thousand rainbows appearing above the sky while the dark clouds vanished after a heavy storm.

"How are you doing?" That's was all he managed to say after staring way too long at you.

"Fine, Now that were together" you winked at him jokingly, Sending him blushing.

"You know, I think we're meant to be together" Chris said, It was supposed to be a joke, but the neutral tone of his voice said otherwise.

"W—why do you think that?" you whispered.

"The Fates pulling us together every time? I think that's enough proof" He chuckled to himself.

"So you're kinda admitting that you like me?"

It was Chris' time to be flustered.

"No, I mean yes— I like you—But, That's not what I meant—"

You were now grinning, arms crossed while you chuckled at Chris' flustered expression.

You gave him a peck on his cheeks, The Hermes boy froze while a tint of red blush spread on his cheeks.

"It's no problem if you do, I'll have to say that I feel the same way"

Sprinting as fast as you could away from the archery area, you looked back and saw Chris Rodriguez blushing madly.

——

There was an accident that happened.

Apparently, helping short tempered children from the Ares cabin was a bad idea.

You were now sitting on the infirmary while a grumbling healer patched you up, mumbling incoherently something along the lines; 'Stupid, Clumsy Children'

When the healer tightened the medical gauze around your wound, You hissed a little, The healer shot you an annoyed look before rolling her eyes, She then tightened the gauze more.

"Excuse me— Uhm, I can do it" You insisted, taking the roll of medical gauze away from the healer.

The Chariot Race was today, and Chris would have to find another partner.

Disappointment ran through you, The chance of being with was now back to Zero.

The door in the infirmary then burst open, Revealing Chris with a worried look on his face, The healer scowled and pointed angrily at Chris.

"No Visitors Allowed, Boy! You can visit your pretty girlfriend later! I'm tired seeing you disgusting teenagers rub legs together and stick their tongue down eachother's throat here! This a clinic, not a motel!" Chris looked at you, You gave him the same; Wtf look.

"Uhm—"

"We're friends"

The healer snorted.

"Yeah, right. 'Friends' Once I leave, I know some things gonna happen" The healer stormed away angrily, Chris rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled softly.

"That took a turn"

"Yeah..."

"Are you okay? Your legs, I mean"

You nodded.

"Just a small fracture...Are you okay without me?"

He smiled.

"I didn't participate" You turned your head to him so quick that you almost gave yourself a whiplash.

"What?!"

"I figured out that it's best to look after the girl I like than join a lousy race"

The world stopped. Your breath hitched, and your eyes never left his. You're begging the gods to slap you awake, pour ice cold water onto your face to help you wake up, because this is definitely a dream. Is this real?

There was silence. The steady heartbeats were the only thing that you could hear before Chris cupped your cheeks like a delicate porcelain vase, "Can I kiss you?" He asked. You never nodded so fast in your life while you felt his lips touch yours.

The kiss was slow and passionate, Chris kept his hands on your cheeks, rubbing it with his thumbs. It wasn't long before the door slammed open, revealing a wide eyed, Furious healer who yelled;

"OUT OF MY INFIRMARY! DISGUSTING TEENAGERS!"

A/N

Hey hey! A chris rodriguez fanfic for you all since yall are sleeping on MY MAN.

More Fanfics to come!! <333

©️

#percy jackon and the olympians #thekissofaphrodite #xy/n #chris rodriguez #andrew alvarez #Dionysus!reader

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glazesunflower · 2 years

Text

Them Snapping At Their SO And The Apologies That Come After. Pt. 2

Characters: Kaeya & Yae Miko (separate).

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, verbal fighting and heavy emotions. With comfort after!

Notes: This is my first time writing for Kaeya, and all I have to say is that he’s very hot and he desperately needs therapy.

Part 1, in case you’re interested, is in (this link!)

To say Kaeya was having a bad day would be an understatement.

He’s a professional man, so he can handle whatever problems he encounters in his line of work quite well, always ready to manage the situation before any problem escalates enough to be a bother for him later on, all the more so before Jean even hears of it.

So after a long (and exceptionally tiring) day of being the renowned Cavalry Captain, he thought he deserved a proper rest, so he headed to Angel’s Share with Rosaria to unwind, like he usually did.

Make it a quick drink, Rosaria had said, and Kaeya nodded. He had a date with you, after all.

It wasn’t a rare occurrence for the both of you to have dates, even after your honeymoon phase had long since ended, but you still enjoyed each other’s company and Kaeya insisted on adding his special touch to all of your meetings, so the two of you always ended up calling it a date and having a wonderful time together.

This one was special, of course. It was your anniversary. So Kaeya promised himself he’d have a quick drink and he’d head home to you.

It had started as a simple discussion, as it often happened whenever Kaeya walked in Angel’s Share and Diluc was behind the counter, serving for another night. To say the two of them had a complicated history would be another understatement, and Kaeya has never been too open about his emotions towards his brother to you, if at all. He liked to keep his secrets.

But the argument with Diluc grew, and soon they were throwing spiteful words at each other over the counter, Kaeya’s drink spilling and Diluc’s face getting redder in anger by the minute. Rosaria was too used to the situation to try and intervene, so she stood aside and let the storm rage and pass on its own, as it often did.

Let’s go to the Cat’s Tail. I’m yet to enjoy having a drink today, Kaeya told Rosaria as he stormed off Angel’s Share, Rosaria following closely behind.

It’s late. You should go home, Rosaria tried to argue back to no use.

Let’s go, Kaeya insisted, and Rosaria wasn’t one to engage in pointless confrontations.

It was well past midnight when you heard the door creak open. At that exact moment you learned three things. One, Kaeya was home very late. Two, by the careless way of him opening the door, he was clearly drunk. And third, he had stood you up on your anniversary to get drunk and arrive home late.

So you walk up to the corridor and switch on the lights, your arms crossed on your chest and resentment boiling inside your chest.

“I hope you have a good excuse.” Your voice is cold as ice.

“I’ve had a terrible day, okay? I apologize for the state I’m in, but— Can we talk about this in the morning?”

“No. We absolutely can’t, Kaeya.” You block his way, feeling every nerve and inch of your skin light on fire. “What were you even doing? Did the thought of me waiting here for you even crossed your mind?”

“You’re always on my mind, my love.” He tries to flirt his way out of the situation, but your stern expression doesn’t flinch even a little, so he sighs. “If you must know, I had an unpleasant encounter with my brother. It’s him you should be blaming, really. He kept me at his bar sputtering nonsense.”

“Kaeya—” You take a deep breath. “You can’t keep doing this. You can’t possibly keep blaming your brother for everything that’s wrong in your life. At some point you’re going to have to take responsibility—”

Kaeya freezes, his eyes growing darker as he frowns, looking down at you with his eyes overflowing with disgust.

“What do you even know about us, huh? You have no idea of what he did, no idea of what I went through. So don’t talk as if you knew anything!” He raises his voice, sending chills down your spine. He walks up to you with big steps, and somehow he looks bigger, like the anger bubbling in his chest is making him larger, the smell of alcohol stronger the closer he is to you. And for a moment, you’re scared. “You’re too privileged to even phandom what kind of horrors I’ve had to witness, how much pain I’ve had to bear. But then again, you’re not that interested in knowing, are you? After all, your world revolves around you, doesn’t it, darling?” The twist in his voice, from anger to sweet and frivolous makes you sick to your stomach. He’s too close to you, leaning over your face like a predator, and you’re shivering. “We’ll talk in the morning.”

He says, and he stomps to the bedroom, closing the door behind him. You’re left in the corridor, your blood frozen inside your veins. You run past the front door, not looking back.

Kaeya wakes up the next morning with the worst of headaches. He makes it to the kitchen to make himself some breakfast when it hits him. Everything he said last night to you, the look of utter terror written all over your eyes, and he feels positively terrible. He knew he wasn’t a good person, he’s always been painfully aware. But whenever he brought it up half jokingly, you’d hold his face in your hands, fingers in his hair as you tell him, No. You have a good heart, Kaeya. And he never wanted to believe anyone’s words until you arrived.

And now, he’s been a terrible person to you. He’s hurt you deeply, and the worst part is, he can’t excuse his actions and promise he won’t do it again.

So he waits for you to come back, his chest heavy as he cleans the house, scattering his brain to find some words of comfort, of absolution, anything to make you stay. That is, if you ever come back to him. A small, cowardly part of him would understand if you didn’t, though it’d crush his soul into a million pieces.

It’s not until the seventh day that you decide to return.

Kaeya finds you on the couch, waiting for him. It’s late at night, and Kaeya is afraid of approaching you. Or hurting you again with his words.

So he watches in silence as you turn around, your eyes big and sad all over him.

“You didn’t mean what you said.”

It’s what leaves your lips, and Kaeya takes a second to gather his thoughts. He takes a big breath.

“I could agree with that. In fact, I should. I should say that I didn’t mean what I said, and that I’m sorry. Would that make us even?” He lets out a weak chuckle, too embarrassed of himself to even look at you as he speaks. “The thing is, I believed myself to be more chivalrous than that. I owe you the truth, at the very least. The ugly truth, if I may add.”

“And what is that ugly truth you fight so hard to always keep to yourself?”

You don’t even sound mad anymore, and that’s what breaks Kaeya’s heart the most. Maybe that’s what pushes him to make his way to you, one step at a time, until he’s right in front of you.

“There are many things I haven’t told you. Some of them because I’m ashamed of them. Most of them because they don’t represent the man that I am anymore.” He says. “All of them because I don’t want you to change the way you look at me. But I supposed I ruined that on my own, didn’t I?”

“Kaeya.” He closes his eyes, his name sounding so achingly familiar coming from your lips. He can almost hear you say, You have a good heart, Kaeya. He feels his fingers trembling. “I love you for who you are. Not for who you’ve been, or for who you are with somebody else that isn’t me. I love you. In the good days and on the bad ones. But you have to stop pushing me away. Please.”

Kaeya sits on the couch by your side, and he swears he might just crumble down when you place your hands on his cheeks, softly brushing the skin that meets you under.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Kaeya says, melts into your touch, his frozen heart melting in your hands, a thousand flowers blooming where you’ve touched him last. “I will tell you everything, but do something for me as well. Don’t change the way you look at me after. It’s a promise.”

I know it’s selfish, but don’t leave me.

Don’t change the affection in your eyes when you look at me.

Don’t stop holding me with your small hands.

Don’t stop smiling like you’re the sun, and all I’ve ever been is the moon that circles you until the end of the universe.

“I won’t. I promise, I won’t.”

You say, and that night, Kaeya discloses all of his demons for you. His monsters and all their angles and shapes, their scars and their hidden memories. You help him through it, your hands gentle on him, leaving butterfly kisses over his cheeks.

Despite the sorry state of his heart, Kaeya would swear he has never felt happier.

The rain was pouring over the Grand Narukami Shrine. Miko watched the raindrops rush from the heavens to the soil beneath their feet, crashing to the ground and dissolving into tiny puddles of water. How pitiful.

The other Shrine maidens knew better than to speak to the Guuji when she was angry. And she was, oh, she was angry.

They were planning a huge festival, one to lighten up the town and bring joy to the residents of Inazuma. But of course, it had to rain. And of course, they had to leave all the decorations outside of the Shrine, right where the rain is pouring right now. Miko doesn’t think there’s anything useful in those boxes. Not anymore, at least. We’ll have to start over.

It’s no one’s fault it started raining, Miko knows this. Still, she can’t help but feel her blood boiling down her veins. She was looking forward to that festival.

She makes it home to a delicious smell tickling her nose. She finds you in the kitchen, cooking her favorite meal - Fried Tofu, just the way she had taught you how to make it. You can’t really explain why, but you felt the urge to make something today that Miko would especially enjoy. How fortunate of her.

Miko walks up to you, slowly wrapping her arms around your waist, hiding her face in your hair. It smells like home.

“Had a long day, my love?” Your voice comes out gentle, soothing her heart at the sound.

She nods to your hair, “Unfortunately so. Incredibly gifted as I am, I still happen to not be able to control the weather. This devilish rain has undermined everything I’ve worked for for the past weeks.”

“Hm, if it’s the weather you’re having trouble with, why don’t you ask the Raiden Shogun to dismiss of it?” You say, innocent and gentle in your demeanor. “You’re friends with her, aren’t you? It shouldn’t be too hard for her to do this one thing for you.”

There’s a silence.

Maybe it’s the simple-mindedness in which you said it, maybe it’s the rain drilling on the kitchen window reminding her of her useless efforts, or maybe it’s the fact that yes, she’s friends with the Raiden Shogun, the same Raiden Shogun that hasn’t left her plane of Euthymia for eons, the same friend that didn’t bother to say her goodbyes before disappearing without a word, to this day.

It shouldn’t be too hard for her to do this one thing for you, Miko can almost laugh at the thought. What has the Raiden Shogun done for her, besides push her away with not so much as a word of apology, an explanation?

Maybe it’s the rain outside, or maybe it’s her own kind of storm raging on inside what bites back at you.

“You think it’s that simple, little one? Hah, you must be right.” Miko lets go of you, taking a step back. There’s something in her voice that sounds almost dangerous. You feel your fingers shivering. “Now I have complete certainty that, were I to have a word with my dearest Ei, all the things I worked so hard for won’t be rotting under the rain anymore, isn’t that right? You must think I’m a complete moron for not thinking of this before. Am I wrong, little one?”

You turn to her, and you’re met with lilac eyes sharpening around their edges, piercing you with her stare. You feel a shiver run down your spine.

“I don’t think I understand…” You try, your throat dry. “Did I say something wrong?”

“You must think I’m some kind of fool. And maybe you’re right, hm? Sharing my precious time with lowly humans who can’t even begin to comprehend the endeavor us Yokais must go through in order to live, our efforts often easily discarded. How utterly disheartening.” Miko goes on, her gaze sharp and threatening on yours, her blood boiling with too many unsaid things, things she knows you’re not even a part of. But you’re here, and it’s just so easy to let the words fall down her lips, one after the other. “You speak of the Raiden Shogun as if you knew anything. Your very existence in the first place is but a fleeting moment in our presence. Do yourself a favor, little one, and never speak again if all you have to share are witless words. Ugh, why am I even wasting my time here.”

Miko turns on her heels and leaves the house, leaving you there shaking, tears running down your face, wondering why in the world she would treat you like that.

By the time Miko returns home, her hair and clothes drenched in the rain, her raging heart much calmer now, you’re nowhere to be found.

Miko knows she overstepped and went too far. She dragged you along with her rushing emotions and half-assed accusations, knowing full-well you’re the only one who has been by her side through thick and thin, through her sunny days and her storms inside.

That’s why she’s confident that you’ll return. You’ll cool off and come back home, like she has. And then, she’ll wrap her arms around you, she’ll kiss the shell of your ear and, well, you’ll get the apology, won’t you?

Miko is not surprised when she doesn’t see you on the next day, either. A little annoyed, perhaps. She’s gone over the situation in her head all over again, and again. Every time she remembers her mean words to you, she feels a small stab pain in her chest.

She would apologize, if only you came home to her!

You’re just making this harder for yourself than it needs to be, really.

On the third day, Miko starts growing annoyed. How can she possibly wish to repair things with you if you just won’t come home to her?

And it’s not like she’s going to go out there looking for you. She’s the Guuji of the Grand Narukami Shrine, and as such, she has a great deal of responsibilities to attend to. She can’t just leave all of that and go after you, and you know this.

She just can’t be that irresponsible.

Or can she?

It’s the fifth day and her bed is starting to feel a little too big for her liking. She once liked to have space for herself, but now it just feels suffocating.

Why aren’t you coming back? You’re trying to punish her, surely.

Well, Miko won’t play along with your games. She can be just as mad as you are. Let’s see who breaks in first.

On the seventh day, Miko isn’t able to sleep. She’s tossing and turning in her all too big bed, the thought of you plaguing her mind in a way she won’t ever admit out loud.

When she hears the front door opening, her fox ears fling up. She follows your steps down the corridor, but she makes no move when you sit on the other side of the bed, the mattress sinking under your weight in the darkness of the room.

Miko waits. And waits. And waits for you to say something.

The silence grows deafening in her beautiful pink fox ears. So she swallows her courage and opens her mouth, only a little,

“You’re late.”

Your response came after a big pause, so long that Miko thought you’d never say anything to her again, her heart clenching at the thought.

“I thought of never coming back, actually. I was mad at you.” You sound so tired, Miko feels something small stir inside her chest. “Then, I wasn’t anymore. But I thought you’d be better off without me. As you said, I’m a human. I can’t understand you to the extent that I’d like.” Miko frowns at your words. She almost opens her mouth again to fight you back, when you speak again. “But then I thought of you. I thought of the way you smiled when you dressed me up as a Shrine maiden. I thought of the spark in your eyes when you tell me about the new light novel you’re publishing. And I thought of how you’d probably think that this bed is too big for you alone, if I’m gone.”

That’s why I came back, it’s what you don’t voice, but Miko hears it loud and clear. For you.

There’s a silence that follows, one that Miko doesn’t know how to fill. She’s never been good at apologies.

“I am mad at you.” She says, her back turned to you in the darkness of the room, but she doesn’t sound mad at all in your ears.

You don’t say anything, and Miko feels the bed dipping when you lay next to her. She lets you wrap your arms around her, doesn’t voice how good it feels to be back in your arms. She feels a strange tightness in her chest, her vision growing blurry at the corners; like a kid that’s been lost for too long and is finally able to return home.

How utterly close she’s been to losing that home forever.

Miko turns in your arms, and you let her find her favorite place in the world - tucked under your chin, in the gap between your jaw and your clavicle, all too close to the beating of your heart underneath your skin.

Miko stays there, her ear pressed to your chest, and she’d swear she can hear the sound of windflowers blooming.

“I must apologize, little one. My words came rooted in despair, a fate that I’ve been carrying for longer than I dare to voice.” Her voice comes out muffled by your skin, and you let your fingers lose their way into her silky pink hair, listening to her words. “Still, nothing in me is as deeply rooted as the affection that I hold for you. I trust that you know of this, of course.”

“Of course.” You leave a kiss on the crown of her head, closing your eyes in the motion. “I wouldn’t leave you, Miko. Not now, and probably not ever. I love you too much to let you go.”

“Is that so?” You can hear the smile in her voice. “Hm, then I suppose I shall grant you my love as well. Make good use of it, little one. After all, it’s meant for you only.”

If you enjoyed this, please consider liking or reblogging it <3!

You can check more of my writing on (this link!). Thank you!

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #genshin headcanons #kaeya #kaeya x you #kaeya x gender neutral reader #kaeya x reader #yae miko #yae miko x reader #yae miko x you #yae miko x y/n #kaeya x y/n

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poppadom0912 · 1 year

Text

The innocent detective - Part 9

Warnings: Mentions of murder, guns, violence, miscarriage.

Summary: Abigail won't be anyone's problem anymore.

A/N: This took too much time to write and was my way of procrastinating from doing anything that involves my education and the hundreds of textbooks piled on my bed at this very moment. Anyways, we're almost done!!

Previous Chapter / Series Masterlist / Next Chapter

*****

Abigail shook her head furiously, her eyes red because of her pure, unfiltered rage or because she'd been crying for a reason no one quite understood.

"I did all of this for her!" Abigail stated, her grip on your gun tightening so much that her hands shook, knuckles as white as paper. "I haven't finished but all the people that have hurt her, they're gone now!"

Jay weighed his options, unsure of how they were going to get out of this without anyone shooting any bullets even when the odds were in their favour.

"Abigail, it's because of you that she's in jail." Jay said, reminding your twin that she was the cause of everything that's happened. "Put that gun down and come with us for her."

"Don't do that." Abigail shook her head, not wanting to listen to the man she knew too much information about. She knew about all the people in front of her meaning she could easily blackmail them and use that to run away.

"Don't lie to me because I know how easily you can hurt her." Jay had to blink a few times but it looked pretty much like Abigail's eyes were watering. "It's because of you that she was shot and had surgery. It's because of you she lost that baby!"

That's what ticked him off, inhaling sharply at the mention of the baby that the two of you lost a little over a year ago. The baby that no one but you two and Will knew about. It was supposed to stay a secret and not become known to anyone, no one at all in the world but Abigail broke that.

The team was of course confused, having never heard of any baby let alone a pregnancy from the couple. It caught them off guard but they kept their guns aimed perfectly on their target. Questions could be asked later, right now, babies were the least of their problems.

"Abigail." Jay gritted his teeth, hating your sister more and more as time went on. "There's no blame on any side and if you knew about the baby then you also know that-"

"But you know what." Abigail said, smiling bitterly. "I proudly take the blame for all those deaths because by killing those pathetic excuses of parents and people, I'm bringing Y/N justice and relief because they got what they deserved and you know that it feels great knowing they're gone.

"My mama wanted me and not her and that's not fair." She pronounced every syllable in her last few words which perfectly explained what pushed her to all the murders she committed.

Abigail was unrelenting. She wasn't going to stand down any time soon and talking wasn't getting them anywhere. By the looks of things, they'd have to get physical.

So that's exactly what happened.

While Jay kept talking, more like arguing with Abigail, Kevin and Antonio very quietly disappeared, going around and appearing behind the woman with their guns pointed on her back because if they did have to shoot, they still needed her alive.

And before Jay knew it. In the midst of rolling his eyes, biting back a sarcastic remark, Antonio was warning Abigail that he would shoot if she didn't put the gun down, the metal of the barrel of his gun going against the back of her head.

Confused, Abigail scanned the group in front of her, only now realising that two people were missing, internally cursing herself for not noticing because she was too caught up in arguing with your 'pathetic excuse of a boyfriend'.

It took a bit more than a second since she was still in denial but eventually, Abigail realised she wasn't going to be leaving a free woman. She probably should've regretted every action she made in her life up until this point but if she had the chance, she would do everything the exact same and maybe some more.

It all happened so quick but before Jay knew it, Abigail was finally being put in cuffs, your gun pried out of her hands as Kevin handed it to Jay seeing as the gun was yours and not just a random one bought from the store.

The biggest weight was taken off. Jay's shoulder's felt light and he felt at ease watching Abigail grumbling to herself as she was dragged out of the school.

Now that it was all over, Jay allowed himself to take a second, his shoulders slumped as he slightly smiled. Everyone congratulated each other, exchanching spuds and pats to the back. Not only was this another win for intelligence but they managed to put away a serial killer which meant,

You could come home now.

*****

You weren't too sure what was happening.

One minute you were minding your own business, sitting on your bed with your head in a book you were graciously rewarded for being behind bars for more than half a year and managing it alive but the next minute, your cell door is being opened and you were met with the face of a guard you couldn't recognise.

You knew all the guards by now but apparently you didn't know all of them as you could not put a name to his face but then you noticed the different colour of his uniform. His eyes weren't as blank as the others, his skin seemed healthy and his lips weren't sealed shut, he was actually smiling but only subtly.

He caught onto your confusion causing him to huff, shaking his head in amusement. He jutted his head to the side, moving out of the way so you could get passed him.

"Come on Detective, let's get you out of here."

You could've cried at his words. This must've been a really good dream because there was no way in the whole wide world this could be true but upon sitting in silence and pinching yourself to be sure, you nearly doubled over in tears.

Standing up, you didn't look behind once. Without being dragged for the first time, you followed the man willingly, walking by his side as he introduced himself.

For the first time in a hot minute, you had a decent human interaction, shaking his hand as you exchanged pleasantries. You worked it out that he already knew who you were and for once, you didn't mind because he wouldn't corner you and beat you to a pulp unlike everyone else did when they knew you were a cop.

Walking out of the contained space, you felt your chest becoming less and less constrained the further you walked. You passed through several secured doors and eventually met with a warden who handed you your clothes which was your blues you wore the day of your sentencing.

Without a fuss, you wore the uniform and the heels. It wasn't the most comfortable of clothes but you would take anything that wasn't that horrendous bright orange jumpsuit.

It took you awhile to get changed, wincing at the healing bruises, wounds scabbing over while others left scars, some would fade away over time but the rest would permanently stain your body, a constant reminder of the past seven months of your life. You definitely needed a shower because even with a change of clothes, you still felt icky and gross.

You smiled at the man, thanking him for being so kind despite only knowing him for five minutes now. While walking out with him, you glared at all the other prison personnel, remembering how each of them treated you. Something needed to be done about their behaviour.

The gush of air you felt brought tears to the corner of your eyes. Breathing in the fresh air, it all felt like a dream, being able to walk outside into the world, breathing the air and staring up to see a colour that wasn't the dirtied ceiling of your cell.

Taking in the scenery, you found yourself shocked at how different everything looked. The grass looked more yellow than green, the tarmac of the road looked like it was redone as the black was darker and the white stripes along the road were more prominent than you remembered.

Walking across the rocks, you ignored how difficult you found it to walk on it with heels the second you noticed a man standing beyond the big metal gate that stopped you from leaving.

Maybe it was his stance, the badge peeking from under his shirt or it could've been your heart speaking instead of your brain but you nearly buckled over when you realised it was him.

Picking up the pace, you ignored your struggle. In the corner of your eye, you saw the nice man signal a guard to open the gate before you even got to it.

The man was smart because after you managed to get across the big space of rocks, the gate was open and you were out for good.

Without saying anything, you wrapped your arms tightly around his chest, so tight that not even oxygen could separate the two of you. Nuzzling yourself in the crook of his neck, you took in his cologne and the tears were automatic.

This was the most human contact you had since you were put in. You held onto Jay as though he was your life line and letting him go meant you were doomed.

Jay must've felt the tears on his shirt or maybe he heard your muffled sniffling first but either way, he smiled, chuckling as he blinked away his own tears so no one would see him cry but a rogue tear got away, falling down his cheek and onto your hair.

"You're okay, you're okay." Jay murmed, pressing a kiss into your hair as he soothed your through your tears. On instinct, he started to sway with you still in his arms, gently rubbing your back as you collected yourself.

Reluctantly, you pulled away, looking up at your boyfriend whose eyes were now red. Linking your hands around his neck, you smiled up adoringly at the man you missed so much that it was probably unhealthy to miss a person that much.

"Hey." Your voice betrayed you still sounding as if you were going to cry. You didn't dare tear your eyes away from his. "You look horrible."

Jay smiles only widened at your remark, his hands comfortably resting on your waist as he shook his head in amusement. "Says you."

You rose a brow. "I thought you loved a woman in uniform?" You questioned, playing with the hairs on the nape of his neck.

Jay hummed and before you knew it, his hands were cupping your cheeks as he pulled you into a kiss. It was filled with so many things like longing, passion, hunger and just general love.

Humming into the kiss, you very reluctantly broke away, your chest rising and falling as you tried to regain your breath. The kiss was very much needed but a make out was not needed in front of the prison gates.

"Let's go home." Jay murmured against your lips, pecking it one more time before intertwining his fingers with yours.

"Lead the way."

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#one chicago fanfiction #one chicago imagine #onechicago #jay halstead fic #jay halstead fanfiction #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead #chicago pd #jay halstead x you #jay halstead x y/n #chicago pd x reader

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blimbo-buddy · 11 months

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I'm a lover of messy GrayFire. These two would have so many problems and that fueled me in the past. (Alongside Fireheart x Silverstream, but it's them realizing Graystripe is two-timing them and they use the other as a rebound but oops, somewhere along the way, feelings actually popped up and neither know what to do about that. She also survives so Fireheart ends up snatching the title of dad from Graystripe because he doesn't deserve it.) Here's an old piece I wrote. Feast upon the slander.

Also you do not understand the amount of restraint I am showing not writing Little Red Frostpaw and Big Bad Wolf Splashtail... You put that possibility in my head and I have ideas.

TW for a toxic relationship, cheating, and internalized xenophobia.

I'd like to preface this by saying my interpretations of the two.

Graystripe has no sense of loyalty to the Clan. He doesn't care about Clan laws and cares about his own comfort the most. More often than not, his attitude gets others hurt because he breaks the rules selfishly. He meets Silverstream, not telling her that he's with Fireheart, and ignores training Brackenpaw (who, canonically, is the son of his former mentor). However, he does have loyalty to cats... to an extent. He would throw himself into a battle to protect Fireheart, but he won't stop cheating on him.

I see Graystripe as the type to not be in relationships long. He's more of a fling type of guy. Long term with children does not work for him. He only enjoys the phase where sparks fly and it feels like a blissful honeymoon. After that? Count him as gone. However, he never explains this to anyone - especially not to Fireheart, who believes they're genuinely mates.

Fireheart, meanwhile, is loyal to the Clan almost no matter what. He has morals he holds himself to, but he feels very guilty when he goes against the Clan norm despite having done what's right. His optimism and steadfast personality has allowed him to keep his head up. At this point, he's dangerously optimistic and needs to be told that sacrificing himself all the time is very bad! He sees the best in Graystripe as a funny goofball who's his best friend for life... despite knowing deep down that Graystripe is doing wrong things.

Fireheart has also internalized his xenophobia very hard. Like, to the point that he blames himself for Graystripe cheating.

Yeah, it's... it's not a healthy relationship. It's hard to see it as one - especially within canon - with all of the mistakes both Fireheart and Graystripe make in their relationships. (With Fireheart cheating on Sandstorm with a ghost, which I constantly throw out completely because it's weird and gross and unneeded, and Graystripe being disloyal and abandoning his kids at the forefront.)

You Keep Lying

Graystripe saunters back into camp, a grin on his maw as he tosses a mouse onto the prey pile. Annoyance flares up inside of Fireheart as he watches his mate casually strike up conversation with Whitestorm. All day, he gave excuse after excuse for Graystripe. What's more, he trained both of their apprentices! His claws dig into the ground, his fur bristling.

I do all of that... Fireheart grits his fangs. For the last moon, Graystripe keeps going off to meet his so-called friend in RiverClan and pushing back telling the Clan they're together. What does the fish-breath of RiverClan have over him? Did he make some kind of mistake that led to this?

He stares at Graystripe, but the tom's yellow eyes never stare back. Graystripe's yellow gaze travels to every cat but him. Of all cats, he thought that Graystripe didn't see him as the kittypet outsider. They're lovers, aren't they? So why doesn't he look at him? Does he need to go get scarred to prove his worth for the millionth time?

"Oi, Fireheart." Yellowfang's raspy voice makes him jump. His head swivels towards the shaggy-furred molly. She sighs and sets a paw on his shoulder. "Calm your heart, kit."

Fireheart can't help but bitterly laugh. "My heart as in the thing that's somehow still in my chest or my fears?" Anger thickly drips from his tone and his eyes follow Graystripe. The other tom's ears draw back as Lionheart confronts him with a disappointed expression. Although, rather than apologize for skipping training his son, Graystripe shoots him a desperate look.

Why must he always lug him out of trouble?

He bumps into a paw. Yellowfang's brows press together as she stares at him. Silence thickly surrounds her before she mutters, "You don't gotta go rescue him from the mud he got himself stuck in."

His ears pin back, another laugh tumbling out like a hairball. Even if Graystripe hurts him, he... "But I do, Yellowfang. He's my-" He cuts himself off. Quickly, he presses his paw against Yellowfang's before moving it out of his way.

Even if Graystripe and him are keeping quiet...

Even if Graystripe keeps making mistakes...

He wants to trust him just one more time. It isn't so wild to dream. Hey, his dreams are quite magical and, according to Yellowfang, shouldn't be happening! And, even excluding his dreams, he has managed to become a real warrior despite his kittypet blood. He's special. That means that, so long as he perseveres, it'll work out!

Fireheart slips between Graystripe and Lionheart, flashing the golden tabby an apologetic smile. "Please don't be too upset, Lionheart. There's a reasonable explanation." He meows and glances back at Graystripe. No shame flickers onto Graystripe's expression, but he's sure that Graystripe is just acting.

This time, he will get a proper explanation...

Lionheart's tail lashes as he narrows his eyes onto Fireheart. It's so clear that the senior warrior doesn't believe him one bit, though he sighs. "Fireheart," his voice rumbles, "My former apprentice can stand on his four paws just fine. When Bluestar gave my son to him, I was under the impression that he would be mentoring Brackenpaw, not you."

His chest tightens. Panic sparks and the flames begin to shoot across his pelt. This next part needs to be convincing. Just... Oh! "I told Graystripe I could handle training Cinderpaw and Brackenpaw. It's good to keep siblings together, isn't it? Graystripe hasn't been feeling the greatest here lately, but I assure you that we won't slack on their training." Confidence floats through his voice because it's true. This whole farce will end. Graystripe can't keep going off and abandoning him.

It works out for everyone!

Although, Lionheart's expression contorts into one of fuming rage. The golden tabby unsheathes his claws and digs them into the soft soil. His fangs bare, yet none of his actions are aimed at him. "You won't slack on training them, Fireheart." He states before glaring at Graystripe. "But Graystripe? My son told me you aren't teaching him anything!"

Graystripe looks away, finally speaking up. "I'll make sure to work with him tomorrow." He begrudgingly meows. His eyes stare off into the distance... No, off towards RiverClan.

The complete disregard of not only himself, but Brackenpaw, makes Fireheart waver.

It's not like he hasn't known. The stars know he has been ignoring it in favor of trying to peacefully resolve things. If the Clan finds out, it's over for both of them. While Graystripe may be the one screwing up, he's the kittypet letting it happen.

Lionheart towers over Graystripe, glaring his former apprentice down as if he's a bug. The stench of fear rolls off of Graystripe as he stares into Lionheart's green eyes. "If your attitude doesn't change-" Within that very moment, Lionheart's paw slams down onto Graystripe's head and smashes him into the dirt.. "-Bluestar is going to have to beg StarClan to let me off with just exile to the Dark Forest."

For a few moments, Graystripe lays there stunned and helpless. His paws eventually twitch and he brings himself to croak out, "Yes... Lionheart..."

Without another word to Graystripe, Lionheart begins to walk away, not without whispering, "I don't blame you, young Fireheart," in his ear. But... Is he not to blame? He has been allowing Graystripe to do this by being a cover. Isn't he just... He's to blame.

Kittypets are always to blame.

"Are you alright?" Fireheart sheepishly asks Graystripe as he gets to his paws. The gray tom doesn't answer, so he decides to slowly tack on, "How about we eat outside of camp tonight? Just the two of us and the forest."

Graystripe looks at him. No warmth stares back at him. Nothing stares at him. There is no besides. He opens his maw, going to try something else, but Graystripe is already walking away. Desperate, he follows after him. Hushing his voice, he murmurs, "We both know that your secret meetings couldn't go on forever. Why not cut ties with your friend and-"

Finally, he gets a reply. "You don't understand, Fireheart." Graystripe snarls, not at all caring the Clan has its eyes on them. "You never do."

His fur fluffs out. Somehow, he bites back a hiss and manages to say, "Because you never talk to me." He doesn't even know who Graystripe is meeting or why! Yes, he has his assumptions - that being Silverstream - but Graystripe has never said it's her! For all he knows, it could be some tiny murderous outsider!

Tail lashing, Graystripe whirls around to face him. He recoils seeing his mate's honey-colored eyes morph into flames. Fear digs into his pelt. His chest tightens, swearing that the worst will be said. That everything will end because he was acting like a kittypet and not a Clancat when he chose not to tell Bluestar about this.

Getting nose-to-nose, Graystripe whispers under his breath, "Because it's my business."

Oh... It's- It's not. He can... He can work with this. Everything is fine. The tension in the air can always fan out. He forces up a smile, trying to get it together. "It's my business too," he defends weakly, "I've been training Brackenpaw."

Graystripe stares down at him, his gaze softening. His ears pin back as he slowly opens his maw. The gray tom's tense shoulders loosen and he lowers his head. "I'm sorry." He whispers at long last.

Fireheart waits a few seconds, desperate to hear him say more, but it never comes. In all fairness, the whole Clan is staring at them. Surely, Graystripe will tell him later.

He will, right?

"I forgive you." He says, nuzzling the crook of Graystripe's neck. The embrace is slowly returned and a purr builds in his throat. "How about we talk about it somewhere else?"

Graystripe jerks back. A laugh leaves him as he looks at the fresh-kill pile. "Let's get something to eat. I don't want all of it to be gone." The words are rushed out of him and he hurries towards it.

Tears sting his eyes. His head drops and he stares at his paws. He hasn't told a soul the truth. Even though it hurts, he has lied to those he respects and trusts all for Graystripe. No matter what, he'll protect Graystripe. He's shown that. So, why can't he be trusted? What more does he need to do?

Really, a bitter voice in his head pipes up, I shouldn't need to do anything! I'm his mate! I'm the one he said he'll be with till the stars all die! That makes me trustable, doesn't it?

Lugging himself after Graystripe, the answer weighs heavily in his gut. It sloshes around with the acid in his stomach. The taste of mouse lured him into Clan life, but now as he stares down at one, his nose can only scrunch up.

Agree, messy GreyFire is the only GreyFire that we accept 'round these parts. Also wait FireHeart+SilverStream with those circumstances is a good idea, throw GreyStripe into the dirt, FireHeart isn't the step dad he's the dad who stepped up. Also oh god oh shit oh fuck uhoh little red frostpaw be careful.

Honestly it seems pretty in-line for GreyStripe to be like that. Just like you said he's always leaving BrackenPaw and ends up with FireHeart always having to take over the mentor job, the poor guy not knowing that GreyStripe scatters off to cheat on him with SilverStream (GreyStripe told her he was single probably). FireHeart on the other hand having internalized Xenophobia is one of my favorites for him because considering the way he was brainwashed into the clan's hateful and war loving culture, it's a sad fate for him that's disguised as being an inspiring story. Also what a way to make FireHeart one of those positive people who take it to an unhealthy and extreme level, such an interesting idea for him! Full talk about the story under "Keep Reading" as to shorten the post more

Off to a great start with FireHeart recognizing that GreyStripe avoids his responsibility as a mentor. But also god…. FireHeart feeling like it's his fault that GreyStripe won't look at him or be with him often, FireHeart you're not horrible GreyStripe just needs to be hung, drawn and quartered. Side note I love YellowFang's call to FireHeart beginning with "Oi", really makes you remember the cats are British. FireHeart is trying to come up with more ways to defend him and even YellowFang has to step in and go "You don't have to always defend him, he got himself into that mess" but Fire still tries to defend Grey because he just desperately wants to see the good in him. FireHeart shows signs of dangerous optimism in his character, he thinks that because of his special dreams, he is special, and because he is special, then these things MUST end well because he - a presumably special cat - believes they will! Right?

But now we're back at the beginning of the cycle, FireHeart making pathetic excuses on behalf of GreyStripe. But instead of the cat he is talking to accepting the excuse, the cat instead becomes sick of these reasons that FireHeart brings up. LionHeart is pointing out GreyStripe's failure to properly mentor BrackenPaw, FireHeart may be handling it well, but it was GreyStripe who was assigned to teach BrackenPaw, not FireHeart. GreyStripe tries to make an empty promise that he'll do better because all he can do is "promise'" to be a better cat, all to get other's off of his back, all to avoid responsibility, all to visit Riverclan. The fact that GreyStripe's stupid ass is enough to make LionHeart - a calm, collected, and patient cat - snap and lash out at his former apprentice is truly telling of GreyStripe's ability to push even the most patient of cats over the edge. But FireHeart sees this and the other past events between him and GreyStripe and just- blames himself for it, specifically focusing on how he's the "kittypet allowing it to happen", his internalization against kittypets shows, he believes that kittypets are always to be the blame.

GreyStripe gives him a pathetic fucking apology, immediately trying to turn attention away from the situation/conversation at hand in favor of trying to distract FireHeart. He's yet again avoiding accountability and responsibility for his actions and words. He wants FireHeart to ignore the truth of their relationship but it only causes the truth to eat at FireHeart's mind, soul, and heart. FireHeart just wants everything to be better, to be normal, he wants their relationship to be just like how it was when he first joined the clans. But, he can't go back anymore, he can't go back and reject the offer of clan life, to live out the rest of his days as a Kittypet.

Poor FireHeart desperately clings onto desperation that GreyStripe will change despite the responsibilities he's avoiding. He just wants GreyStripe to love him and wants GreyStripe to know that his heart will always belong to him, but the same can't be said for GreyStripe. GreyStripe's heart, rather, belongs to someone else.

It's so sad to read about FireHeart's feelings, he genuinely just wants to love GreyStripe but GreyStripe is a cheating son of a bitch who wants Fire to defend him on every immature thing he does. FireHeart please just leave GreyStripe for good come on please

#blimbo rambles #ask #also sorry if my response is a little different. I'm pretty tired right now

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ksyongi · 2 years

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hello hello so I absolutely suck at writing but I've had this concept in my head for days now and I need to get it out so pls don't judge me too much..

teasing cheol all day, from the moment he leaves the house you’re be taking pics in all your lingerie sets. And I mean, all of them. Ofc this man has bought too many pairs to keep count, but you manage.

9am : *picture*

shutting your phone off

11am: *picture*

shutting your phone off

11.30: *picture*

shutting your phone off

this keeps going until late at night, constantly ignoring his messages until the point he stops replying.

Sitting on the bed, scrolling through your phone, counting down the minutes until Cheol normally comes home, when a smack from the door drags you out of the trance.

you just continue scrolling, knowing Cheol and his dominance will soon burst through the bedroom door. And you were right.

He comes in silent, the silence being deadly.

“hi love, how are you?”, you say not looking up from your phone.

silence

a minute passes until you finally lock eyes with him.

You expect to see the lust in his eyes.

But it’s not there.

He sees your confusion but doesn’t acknowledge it, instead he just blankly stares back.

“is something wro-“, you start, but he cuts you off.

“I’m not impressed. This is far, even for you. In fact, I won't even punish you. Because that's what you want, right? No instead I'll give you nothing until you break, until you realise you fucking need me to put you in your place”

before you can speak he walks out of the room.

when you slowly start getting that sinking “oh fuck” feeling you decide to follow him

he’s sitting on the couch, laptop open, headphones on, leg bouncing, hand grabbing his pen the way he always does when something is bothering him.

You plop down next to him, putting your head on his shoulder.

This however, doesn’t catch on.

Seungcheol sighs, closing his laptop and going to the kitchen.

More hours pass,

the both of you in bed, his back turned towards you. Far colder than the usual koala grip he has you in.

After that, days pass,

days of not talking, no acknowledgement of your existence, to the point where he comes home late and just sleeps on the couch.

The longer this goes on,

the heavier the guilt gets.

And that’s when the next plan goes into motion.

Eventho Seungcheol thought he came home way past the point you fell asleep, you’d have been awake every single day.

Which gives you the chance to know his new routine.

you kneel infront of the front door.

Not wearing anything except the lacey see-through cover up he’d gotten you for your first valentines together.

Giving him the sight of a lifetime once he finally enters the front door.

You kneel your head down, he just scoffs.

"Please p...."

“Please what huh, come on speak up” he interrupts after you weakly stutter out your first plea

"Please... put me in my place" you choke out, feeling the emotions of guilt and need build by the millisecond

“Oh so NOW you want to act like a good little slut huh? What happened to the girl from a few days ago? Thought you liked being a little bitch”, a scoff comes out right before he pretty much growls at you.

all you can do is nod, the feeling that this will be a long night creeping up.

this... don't ever blame your writing skills because this made sense and i love it sm,,

cheol would definitely do this, this might be similar to a nnn (no nut november) concept, to be honest, cheol would also break at one point, but his control is much better than yours, so its a competition of limits at that point. opening up his phone to see the images you sent him, it made him hard, and it made it riskier that the fact that he was in dance practice, quickly excusing himself to solve his little problem, he came back and continued practice,,

he would see how you kept sending him things and he got kinda annoyed at how you could not wait for his return in the night and could not let him work in peace. his desires for you were real, and they were growing after all the pictures sent. he wanted you to break and be at his knees, and coming to no choice but to sub for him. he knew you wanted that punishment sm but he refused because of some sort of 'teaching you a lesson' or as you may call it a punishment by making you suffer, he wanted the need for him fucking you into the mattress, face down, ass up as he fucks you hard and rough some degrades and praises coming out of his mouth, he wanted that need to grow stronger. so you would do anything, to get him to make that imagination a reality,,

#dinosbestie👯#seventeen #seventeen smut #seungcheol smut #scoups smut #seventeen scoups #seventeen seungcheol #seungcheol svt #svt seungcheol #svt scoups #scoups svt #answered!!!#kat's brainrot #<3

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aphrodites-garden · 11 days

Text

Honestly just wanna vent right now because my brain fog has been so terrible and debilitating. Between the bpd, adhd, and chronic migraines it’s a hell I can’t seem to get out of.

Every project I write I have to look up a thousand synonyms to figure out what I want to say because I can’t find the words. Then I have to go back to the page again because I’ve immediately forgotten what I read. I used to keep a journal for fun, I just call it my notebook because I also make lists and shit that aren’t diary entries. Now I have to write anything I want to remember in it because otherwise I’ll never remember it again, whether or not it was fun. It could be one of the best experiences of my life and I’ll still forget details.

I’m exhausted, my brain hurts constantly, it feels hopeless because I’m in constant agonizing pain and it never stops. I can’t even describe how I feel it’s so awful, it feels like the energy that’s making my blood boil is crawling through my skin. It feels like I’ll never get back to how I was before. I know I’m a great writer but it’s just not the same anymore. I can’t feel like myself. The words just disappear, it’s like I just can’t make connections in my brain anymore. I’m in a place where I have help and I know what to do when it gets bad and I get help, but it doesn’t really ever feel better. My head literally feels like it’s almost heavy or something.

I want to be able to enjoy my life again. I want to feel as smart as I used to. I have all the knowledge but it just won’t connect. It’s like I read an entire instruction manual and have all the knowledge, but when I go to put the project together I just can’t do it. Like my hands are just too heavy and tired to even pick up one piece. It feels like I just want to sleep for a year or something because it’s so tired and needs a break. But I can’t because I have school and work and need to survive on my own. I have a thousand problems almost no one else has to deal with and I have to fix them in a body that doesn’t work anymore.

I’ve been called a compulsive liar because I can’t remember anything and people think that saying I forgot is just an excuse. I have to use it so much I don’t blame them if they don’t know. But as soon as I try to explain why no one gets it. They think it’s just lies on top of lies and it just makes it worse. I just want to finally be believed and loved. I’m dating this girl who l really really love and I think she understands, but she’s going to school to be a cop and I haven’t had a chance to explain to her why it’s not something she should do. She wants to do it to help people and we’re very similar in that way, but I think it’s just because she doesn’t understands how the system works. I’m hoping she’ll understand when I explain it because I do it calmly and try to give good points as I always do, but I love her so much I’m worried it’ll just end. We’ve only been on 2 dates and I might see her again tonight which means I probably have to explain it.

I’m just afraid she’s gonna turn on me and think I’m a criminal because of the things I’ve done. I’ve had to steal before to eat, and also a few times something small because I did something well and couldn’t get any nice things if I didn’t do that. It’s like I work so hard so I deserve a little treat once in a while like everyone else, like a cool pen or something. Basically nothing but even a few dollars is a lot sometimes for me. I’m big into social activism which means people often call us criminals for giving advice on what to do in protests to avoid police. We avoid them because they target us and try to arrest us because we disrupt what the government wants, because we want BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS AND FOR A GENOCIDE TO STOP. Because they want power and control. And I’m afraid she won’t get that and it feels like she’s the only one who understands me right now. All of our experiences together have been so good that it literally feels like a dream and when I see her again it finally feels like reality. A bunch of my shitty friends turned on me and I don’t fucking care, I hate them, it’s just that I don’t have anyone else to talk to now besides my coworkers and a few teachers.

So I just need to find a way for this to get fucking better because I can’t stand it.

#I’m fine and get help for my mental health so no need to worry #i just need to vent #bpd #brain fog #borderline personality disorder #adhd #activism #chronic migraine

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lonely-lost-soul · 1 year

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A MuTON of Problems

Chapter 1: A Totally Normal Day

Chapter: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

---

April O’Neil was something else, she’s been in your class every year since you were little, and without fail, every year she always perplexed you. She always seemed to be talking to herself or sneaking off to who knows where during school hours. It was almost like as soon as she got a seemingly frantic call on her phone she was gone before you could process what had happened. One minute she was at her desk next to you and the next second she wasn’t. She was weird that’s for sure but you didn’t mind, you had no problem with weirdness.

You had thought she’d go to a big-time college her grades were always above average and her writing was phenomenal she had all the potential to make it big. Yet, here she was sitting in your sophomore college chemistry course right in front of you. Although she had always been in your classes you didn’t know her personally, in fact, you were pretty sure she didn’t know you existed. You were primarily quiet during school, keeping to yourself meant keeping out of trouble and your parents always said that you were a magnet for it. But Chemistry was the one course you just couldn’t keep to yourself in, between reaction experiments and your knack for balancing equations you were always pretty vocal. Answering questions the professor would propose and spout off your own theories that left a pleasant buzz in your chest after a correct answer. It was your guilty pleasure, as a creative writing major you didn’t exactly need to take level 100 chemistry but the opportunity was too good to pass up.

So that’s how you found yourself sitting behind April and her friend, continuously getting distracted by their ‘quiet’ whispering. The man beside April had joined her in class a few times before, usually leaving halfway through the lecture in a rush and always wearing the same purple hoodie and mask. It seemed today he decided to stick around much to your (and seemingly April’s) displeasure. You could pick up bits and pieces of what they were saying,

“April come on it’s just this last one I promise.”

“Donnie you know I can’t get caught sneaking you into classes again.” April hissed back, trying to keep her voice a low whisper, “last time you were caught I almost got kicked out of school! That’s not a risk I’m willing to take.”

“It’s just this last time, please Professor Eisenhower was just getting to the good part of his theory about astrophysics when I was caught last time. Plus need I so helpfully remind you that if you didn’t rat me out I wouldn’t have gotten caught in the first place.” He argued back, waving his hands around…did this dude have three fingers?

“My fault?! Oh boy, I know you did not just blame me. We were taking attendance and you weren’t on the roster! What did you think was gonna happen?”

“What college course takes attendance anyway,”

“Most of them Donatello! Most of them!”

“Excuse me.” You finally decided you had just enough of the lover's quarrel going on in front of you and you not so graciously stuck your head in between the two of them. The purple man, Donnie, reeled back at the intrusion of your head and April flushed seeing you look directly at her. “Sorry for intruding April but I’m trying to pay attention so I can ace this next test, can you and your boyfriend argue outside-” Donnie made a strangled sound in the back of his throat and April’s jaw dropped open before snapping closed.

“Not her boyfriend FYI. She wishes, she’s like my sister. Alas, my love belongs to another and-” The man stated holding his finger up in the air, you glanced over at him with a raised eyebrow, a frown on your lips. “Er…I mean my apologies. Even though it was mostly April’s fault.” April clicked her tongue in distaste before smiling at you sheepishly,

“I’m so sorry (Y/n)!”

Oh…she knew your name…that was surprising.

“It’s…alright.” It was your turn to flush, maybe it was an overreaction you were never too good at judging these types of scenarios. “Just keep it down please, balancing chemical equations is my favorite part.” You said in a softer tone, heat creeping up the back of your neck,

“Of course, I get it sorry again. Er…very weird segway…could you be my tutor?”

“Huh?” Both you and the purple boy blinked in surprise, you reeled back a little and April turned to face you with a shy smile. Purple looked almost aghast and insulted at the notion,

“Oh come on girl, I think everyone knows you have the highest grade in the class. What do you have like an 85 or something?”

God. Oh GOD, this was mortifying do you correct her?

“Scoff,” you know he didn’t just say scoff out loud, “An 85 isn’t that impressive April,” Donnie argued back “I could tutor you and boost your grade in a matter of seconds.” He snapped his fingers, you frowned at his oversized ego.

“You hate Chemistry Don.” April huffed, “also maybe there’s a reason I didn’t ask you ever think of that-”

“I have a 98% actually.” You blurted picking at the skin of your fingers, a nasty habit you really needed to break, once more you seemed to leave the pair speechless.

“Oh.” Donnie squeaked, and April nailed him in the arm letting out a laugh,

“Yeah oh. Holy shit you’re a genius, Is this your major or something?”

“Er no. I’m a creative writing major.”

“What! With a grade like that, you should be majoring in this field!”

“Donnie enough.” April scoffed with an eye roll, “Not everyone wants to be an ultra nerd like you.” You covered your mouth to stifle a laugh and April’s eyes were shining, “You know I think this will be the start of a beautiful partnership and or potentially maybe friendship.” She said that last part rather fast and the look she gave you was devastatingly hopeful. Did…Did she not have other friends?

“Yes!” You blurted rather fast, “Yes I’d love to be your friend.”

“Oh, hells yeah!” April shouted throwing a fist into the air before the gruff voice of your professor cut through the air like a knife.

“O’Neil, (l/n) and friend would you kindly keep it down or leave the class? Some of us are trying to learn.”

“So sorry,” You squeaked, “Won’t happen again!” He nodded at you specifically before turning back to the board, you glanced back at April who was wiggling her phone out in front of you. With a smile you input your contact information, April looked like she wanted to kiss the phone out of delight.

“What about you?”

“Eh?”

“What’s your number?”

“Me?” Donnie asked looking around,

“Well duh.” You laughed fondly, “you’re the only one here dummy.”

“Not a dummy.” He said rather pointedly but took your phone from you, hesitating for a brief moment before inputting his information. April’s smile only seemed to grow in size nudging Donatello slightly and he muttered something under his breath. Once you got your phone back you almost laughed aloud, for some unknown reason he input his contact name as Bootyyyshaker9000. You texted him a brief hello, and he input what you assumed was your name although he didn’t let you see what he decided your contact name to be.

What a bizarre day…

—

Your apartment wasn’t too far from campus, about a twenty-minute walk which doesn’t sound so bad objectively, but when you throw in the fact that your last class ends around seven at night and it’s not in the safest part of town, it’s a bit of a problem. But you had your pepper spray and you always had your roommate's numbers on stand-by if you ran into a problem. They always insisted you call if you were worried about walking home but you never did for fear of bothering them. Plus you were a big girl, you could handle yourself…mostly. You’ve been friends with most of your roommates since before college, Blux was the youngest out of your roommates, just a freshman art major but she was ready to fight tooth and nail for any of the girls you lived with. In two words you’d describe her as small but scrappy. Then there was Ari, she was your age and the literal definition of a mom friend™.

Remember when earlier it was mentioned you were kind of a magnet for trouble well that’s about to come into play while you daydreamed about your girls.

Hot air tickled the back of your neck, causing you to snap out of your daydream and a large hand clasped around your mouth as you were pulled back into an alley. This was it. You were so going to die. Your hands instinctively reached up to claw at the hand around your mouth, the grip tightened as your fingers dug into the hand.

Three Fingers.

“Ow! It’s me!”

“Hm-ie?” You tried your best to speak with his hand muffling you, you tried to look up to get a good look at his features but it was too dark.

“Okay, I know how this looks but you totally just walked into a shit load of trouble-”

“Donnie we could really use your help out here man!” Another voice you didn’t recognize screeched as what looked to be a blue flash came from the entrance of the alleyway. “Like NOW broski!”

“Don’t call me that!” Donnie shouted back as he cursed under his breath, “Look just stay here until this blows over. I’ll…I’ll send you a single when it’s good to leave. Promise me.” He slowly peeled his hand away, another flash of blue and you swore you could see green skin.

“Promise.” You murmured, and you heard a breath of relief,

“Close your eyes and hide.” You listened to him, another breath and you felt the air stir beside you then stop, “Hey!-” You had grabbed onto his wrist and he tensed under your hold,

“Please be careful.” The concern in your voice was sickeningly sweet, dripping with pure genuine worry, you could feel him shudder in your grasp.

“Scoff.” An embarrassed, high-pitch laugh came from his mouth, “No need to worry about me I got my tech on my side and all.”

“Tech?”

“Oh yeah, I’m kind of a technological genius. I’ll show you sometime.” You could hear the pride in his voice,

“I’d love that.”

Another startlingly genuine statement that had him gaping and floundering for words, or that’s what you assumed by the empty sounds he was making. Should you be stroking his ego? Probably not, but hey when he was about to save your life you figured he could use the boost.

“Kay!” He squeaked his voice cracking slightly, “Anyway got to go look out for the signal.” He pulled his arm out of your grip and he was gone, you cracked your eyes open as soon as you heard the voice from before and let out an exasperated,

“About time!”

You weren’t sure how long you waited by the trash piles but it felt like forever, it seemed like you weren’t any closer to seeing Donatello’s signal and it was abundantly clear that whoever they were fighting wasn’t too keen on giving in. You glanced up at the apartments eternally wondering how no one in those rooms was waking up to see the ruckus outside their homes. Your breath was stolen from you suddenly as a hard, heavy body crashes into you. It sent the both of you tumbling head-first into a pile of trash, with only a grunt the body looks up at you. It’s a turtle. It’s a giant turtle with a blue bandana around his eyes and red markings peaking our from beneath it.

“Heh, guess you could say I really fell for you.” He winked up at you, his cheeks a deep dark green.

That voice was the same one trying so desperately to get Donatello’s attention from earlier, but you found yourself laughing. You were unsure if it was in disbelief that a giant turtle was speaking to you or if the fact that his man told a killer pun in an effort to flirt with you.

“Guess you did.” You shot reaching forward and tapping your fingers against his cheeks in awe, he's a Red-Eared Slider. His cheeks glowed a darker green under your touch and you smiled in delight, “thank you for fighting whatever is out there hero.”

“HAH!” The turtle sent you a lazy grin and a wink, “It’s all in a day's work but please, heroes my full name, call me Leonardo, or Leo, or Leon, or ‘Nardo, or preferably the man of your dreams.” He churred, hearing you laugh once more, the turtle’s eyes were basically little hearts. Leo reached up with three fingers and tapped against your cheek in response.

Three fingers. Wait did this mean Donatello was a turtle too?

“Leon, did you get knocked out?” Another voice this one a little bit higher pitched, a little more stressed with concern,

“Coming Mikey!” He hopped off of you quickly, not before holding out his hand, you took it and he lifted you to your feet. “I got to go, but may I get your name princesa?” His eyes were hopeful,

“(Y/n).”

“Until next time then.” He took your hand within his own and pressed a soft kiss to your knuckles, looking at you and sending a wink your way. You flushed red,

“You sure are confident we’ll meet again.”

“It’s not every day you see a pretty face like yours-”

“Some time today LEO!” Another voice, this one much gruffer,

He grumbled under his breath before he pulled out a katana, he swirled it around a couple of times and an electric blue portal opened up. He sent one last wink your way before fully stepping through, you caught sight briefly of the battle a purple bandana-wearing turtle caught your eye and staff held tight in his hand. That was Donnie, you were sure of it, and all at once the portal closed and everything was gone. You were once more alone in the alleyway, maybe about twenty minutes later you noticed the same staff you saw Donnie holding earlier wiggle in front of the entrance. You walked towards it quickly before hearing a strangled,

“Halt.” Right before you stepped into the streetlights, “I-...” He cleared his throat, “my brothers are headed back will you be able to get home okay?”

“Donatello?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re a turtle right?”

“Hahaha! I laugh at the notion!” You raised a brow, his laugh was tense and wheezy, “Scoff I’m very much a normal human man who attends school.”

“But your brother is a turtle?”

“No your eyes are just bad, you’re hallucinating. Probably shock, yeah absolutely shock. You’re experiencing classic symptoms of shock-” He squeaked as you burst from the alleyway he held his staff close to his chest eyebrows raised into his forehead. “Alright. Okay fine. Maybe I’m a turtle-”

“That’s so cool!”

—

He gaped a little at your twinkling eyes, oh he was in trouble, with you looking at him like that. You looked at him not like he was the freak mutant that he was, but as the coolest person on the street, because that’s how he looked at Atomic Lass the first time he saw her on TV. You thought he was cool, him, not his brothers, him. He wanted to drown in that feeling, he liked feeling wanted. You were stroking his ego more than he’d ever like to admit, not to his brothers and certainly not to you. Donnie now understood why Leo came out of that alley all smiley and goofy he had run into you and you must’ve looked at him like that. Hot jealousy burned through his skin at the idea that once again his twin, seemed to beat him at something. “T-thank you.” He cleared his throat, placing a masked cocky smile on his face, desperately hoping it covered how flustered you really made him. “Will you be able to make it home from here alright?” He asked classic Donnie redirect.

“Yeah I only live a few minutes down the road,” He watched you grip tighter on your backpack, “So long as you think there won’t be any more danger I should be okay.” You held up two thumbs up, but your eyes gave you away. He thinks, that if Mikey were here instead of him, he’d catch the worry in them, take your hand and offer to walk you home.

But Donatello wasn’t, and will never be, Michelangelo.

“Good. I have to get home before my brothers start wondering what’s taking so long. I was able to get them to leave because I started rambling about a new piece of tech I was working on, which I just remembered I promised I’d show you sometime. If you still wanted to, although I get it if this was way too much and you want to just lose my number- WOAH DON’T TOUCH ME!” Donnie shouted unnecessarily loudly, as you reach out to take his hand, you flinched at the level of his voice and he flinched because you flinched. He cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck he was also never one to apologize unless someone made him. “I don’t like touch unless I initiate it, it-”

“Is overstimulating?” You spoke shyly, playing with the peeling skin on your fingers, he noticed you did that quite frequently, “I get it no worries. Touch helps me calm down I shouldn’t have assumed it was the same for everybody. Social cues kind of go over my head sometimes.” He watched and gave you a little nod, “I want to hang out with you Donnie and I totally want to see your tech. You have my number just text me okay?”

“Okay.” His grip on his weapon tightened a little more, he watched as you turned on your heel to head back to your living space. “Text me when you get back!” He said it so suddenly it surprised him, he knew he said the right thing to say when you looked back at him and smiled.

“I will Dee!”

Dee…his heart fluttered in his chest, it was a foreign feeling not one he was used to but it wasn’t unwelcomed either. Although it was overwhelming because it seemed as if as soon as you flashed that smile of yours all thoughts of science and tech rushes out of his brain and leaves him mushy and soft.

Now that you were gone and his brain could reboot, it was practically screaming that according to all his calculations, he was absolutely, entirely fucked.

---

heyyyyy so I haven't been posting on tumblr for a long time. I started posting more on Ao3 and that's where most of the new stuff I'm doing is but I decided...why not just post everything here too. I'm not a part of the Rise fandom lol as you can see. Two more chapters will be posted tonight :) I've officially moved out of the Dsmp fandom completely. Just a heads up if I decide to post more stuff here it won't be Dsmp related at all. Obviously, I'm keeping all the fics I have up I'm not the type to delete works but I thought it was only fair you guys got the update.

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balanceoflightanddark · 2 years

Text

I have a bit of a confession to make. An actual confession this time actually.

I...am a Zuko anti.

I know, it seems odd. I only talked about him directly the one time during my Last Agni Kai post and indirectly during my comic posts. So I'm not going directly out of my way to attack him or anything. And I do understand that he is a popular character that has touched countless of people, so I do need to give him credit for that.

The problem I have with Zuko though is...complicated.

I'll admit, I was kind of neutral to him during the show popular. Knew he was gonna be redeemed eventually, would fight Azula eventually and "win", and knew he was going to be the new Fire Lord to bring about an end to the War. I got that. I think all viewers got that. Though I never really built that much of a connection to the character since I related more to some of the others (Aang, Katara, and Azula come to mind), and I was annoyed that he got away with some of the stuff he pulled during Book 1 and some overall problems with his arc that were left unaddressed, but accepted he was in a good position to do better and mend bridges and all that by series end. That I have no problem with.

My issues came around when the comics were released.

To put it simply, Zuko's flaws were jacked up to eleven. His arrogance and hotheadedness that got him into trouble during Book 1 came back. Now, this alone isn't a problem. Not saying one can't backslide into old habits. The problem comes about when the narrative doesn't acknowledge it. He's supposed to be a good guy now. On the right side, yet he's still doing the same villainous things over and over again. And for some reason, the Gaang doesn't call him out on any of it. That alone is an issue.

Then...there's his relationship with Azula.

Remember how I said there was some problems they left unaddressed? Zuko's rivalry with Azula was one of them. I'm convinced that the more he pursues this rivalry, the more toxic and awful of a person he becomes. Especially since Azula was not Zuko's abuser. That would be Ozai, the one who scarred his face after all. And I wasn't entirely convinced that the Last Agni Kai was his redeeming moment where he showed compassion towards Azula at the last shot. Again...was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Then the comics quashed that.

He became an abusive jackass that physically assaults Azula with very little provocation, allows his friends to harass and provoke her into violence, and blames it all on her when she inevitably snaps. And the narrative supports him.

I...have autism. I have what many would consider to be a mental disability. I know what it's like to have a breakdown. To feel like a burden on my family whether underserved or not. And for a long time I was terrified of coming out because there is a stigma towards mental illness.

So when I see pages like this:

...the comics made me despise Zuko for a long ass time. And we're talking years.

Next thing you know I'm convinced that Zuko was doomed to be his father. To be the next Ozai. And I was so convinced, I started seeing only the worst in him. The monster. How every action he took was just proof that he'd never change and he'd be nothing more than a monster worse than his sister. And how fundamentally broken the narrative was for making excuses for him which genuinely affected my enjoyment of the show.

Cause shit like that? ...I saw myself a lot in Azula, and that made me hate Zuko on a very personal level. To the point I seriously considered writing fics where he'd get butchered just out of spite. It was that. Bad.

Comics!Zuko felt like everything I stood against. And soon everything around him became difficult to even look at. Cause how in the Nine Circles of Hell would anyone see this asshole as a beloved hero?

So why am I telling you guys this? Why tell you I once hated Zuko so bad I genuinely wanted to see him dead?

Easy...I don't want to hate him anymore.

Cause it's unfair both to the character and the fans who do like him. That do accept his flaws and want to see him overcome them. I respect those people and all the more power to them.

And as much as I love Azula, I don't want to harp on Zuko anymore. Even if his most diehard fans want me to tear my hair out, I don't want that spilling over to the character himself. Honestly, I think even he'd be disgusted by their attitude. Since tearing Azula down to make himself look good is...well it's the same as tearing him down to make Azula look good.

Again, I still have a grudge against Zuko, but I'm not asking for sympathy. I'm just giving my two cents and throwing it in the ring. Feel free to unfollow me if you want, that's fine. I figured you guys deserved to know going forward.

And I do hope this post is a step in the right direction at least.

#anti atla comics #atla comics critical #zuko meta #azula #azula meta #fandom confession

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neworderscans · 1 year

Text

Bernard Sumner: Cash For Questions, Q Magazine 1999 (article in text below:)

Cash 4 Questions with Barney By David Quantick

He is half of Electronic, a quarter of New Order and isn’t he a naughty fellow! You blamed him for Keith Allen and asked him about as many drugs as there are drugs. In return, he denied ever having "touched himself". Meet the people Bernard Sumner.

Bernard Sumner is looking rather well. In rude health, even. This may be because Bernard Sumner has stopped eating pasties, but it’s more likely because the night before Manchester United won a football match against some Germans.

In a West London hotel, the only non-purple star called Barney lounges on a well-stuffed sofa nursing a half-bottle of Chardonnay. In spite of his numerous 43 years -20 of them spent as a member of Joy Division, New Order, Electronic, and, if you want to be pedantic, Englandneworder, the short-lived rock/footie conglomeration that brought you the rapping of John Barnes - he appears younger than he has any right to.

Moreover - bucking his Mr Miseryguts reputation - Summer appears delighted to answer even the readers’ ugliest questions. Some of his replies maybe tongue-in-cheek, and some are, frankly, lies. He may, charmingly, have faith in the beauty of moustaches, he may be eerily loath to reveal the secret of his morphing surname, but the former Bernard Dicken is proving an amenable chap. Just don’t call him Warsaw, that’s all.

Q opens the ceremonial geography project folder of questions, Sumner sips his Chardonnay and off we go.

Words David Quantick

Is True Faith about ecstasy? Trisha Farmer. Hull No. It’s about drug dependency. I don’t touch smack but when I wrote that song I tried to imagine what it’s like to be a smackhead and nothing else matters to you except that day’s hit. There’s a line in the song, “When I was a very young boy, very young boys played with me/Now we’ve grown up together, they’re afraid of what they see." The original was, “Now they’re taking drugs with me,” but Stephen Hague our producer made us change it because he said it wouldn’t be a hit if we kept that line in. He was right. It was a very big hit, but we chickened out. I change it back sometimes live.

Given your chemically excessive past, what is your parental advice to your kids concerning drugs? Anthony Clifford, Taunton Don’t go anywhere near heroin or crack or acid. Taking ecstasy’s like Russian roulette, except you've got 99,000 bullets that are empty and one that’s loaded. I don’t know anyone who’s taken cocaine where it hasn’t become a friend for life. Although you can say the same for cigarettes. I don’t smoke marijuana, but if you’re going to take a drug, that’s the best one. It’s not as bad for you as alcohol and it makes people mellow and friendly, Unfortunately, it just makes me go to sleep.

Do you still have a receiver in your head? Noel Edmunds, via e-mail I think I know what this is about. I think I came out in an interview with some bullshit answer to a question about howl wrote music. I said that I had a television aerial in my head and it picked ideas out ofthe ether and I used to work at night when everyone was asleep. Maybe I did write in a different way in those days. I think now I’ve not got that many problems in my life, I want to write songs about the ones I have got, rather than that kind of... dreamscape. I used to be pretty sort of dreamy and go off on one. I still can do it. I sat in my room for twelve hours just not watching television or anything, just thinking.

What made you piss yourself on Every Little Counts? Jamie BIundell, Rednal The words were so bad, basically (“I think you are a pig/You should be in a zoo”). We kept it on because it was better than the original lyric.

What’s your excuse for having a moustache when you were Warsaw? Ursula Stevenson, Reading It’s a popular misconception that we were called Warsaw. We were never called Warsaw. At our first concert we changed it to Joy Division (He is reminded of the question) The moustach? I’d forgotten all about that. In those days moustaches were really big. The thing I was embarrassed about was it was a bumlluff moustache that didn’t quite join in the middle. Bit like Noel’s eyebrows. No, the opposite of Noel’s eyebrows. It looked like I had Noel’s eyebrows on my lip. I’ll stand by my moustache. If you look at most pop stars, you’ll find some kind of styling error in their past history.

When joy Division started, why did you keep changing your surname, from Dicken to Albrecht to Sumner? Dove Clarke, Salford Family reasons. I’d rather not go into it.

Ian Curtis, 1999 - what would he be up to? Matt Palmer, Worcestershire It’s hard to imagine because Ian was very ill. I can’t imagine him in the ‘90s. He once threatened to go off and leave the group and buy a corner shop in Bournemouth. It was an off-licence that sold books as well, I think that was his idea. These mad, completely illogical thoughts used to come into his head from time to time. So maybe eventually he would have done that. I think he would have been a writer, because he was always reading books and he was always writing anyway. Or maybe he would have retired a millionaire by now, who knows? Silly sod.

Is it true that Touched By The Hand Of God is about whacking off Aidan Vaziri, San Francisco (Long pause followed by wide-eyed response) What’s whacking off mean? (It is explained to him) I would not write a song about masturbating, No, it’s not, most definitely isn’t. And I've never done that in my life ever. Ever. Do people really do that? Masturbate? Do you masturbate? I’ve never done it ever in my life. I’ve certainly never written a song about it. (Confidentially) It’s about bestiality, actually.

Do you regret doing that Prozac documentary? Wasn’t it a rather strange thing to do? Damon Williams, Bromley I regret it but not bitterly. It was interesting tak-ing Prozac because I don’t really suffer from depression but I can be a melancholic sort of person. It was interesting being a different person for seven months. It really agreed with me. I still think it’s a very, very interesting drug. I found when I took it if I had problems, then instead of me crumbling before my problems, I would deal with the problems.

Quote a lyric from the second Electronic album that isn’t from the single, Forbidden City. William Haas, Winchester Um... I honestly can’t be bothered. You tell me. What a trainspotter. All right, here’s one: “Misguided youth/You mix some juice with alcohol." It’s from Liquor.

Finish the sentence, in less than 10 words, “Manchester is great because..." Carl Hedges, Liverpool We’ve got the best football team, we've got the best bands, we’ve got the best gang violence scene anywhere in Britain, It’s always sunny there, it never rains...

You and Michael jackson are the only pop stars who whoop. Discuss. Heather Thompson, London NB Ha ha ha! Well, I get excited. Whoopings a primeval expression of enjoyment, and sometimes if I’m getting into a vocal take, I just get into it. If I’m at a club, I like whistling... I was at a club in Bath and this girl got a bouncer over to stop me (demonstrates incredibly powerful, piercing whistle). I don’t get excited very often but when I do, I get really excited. I’ll stop doing it now, I’ll get self-conscious about it.

When did you last touch Pernod? Steve Heath, Keighley Um... Well, Pernod’s been replaced by Absinthe. There’s this whole ritual where you bake some up on a spoon, a bit like freebasing. That stuff’s like rocket fuel, I had a couple of nights with Alex James out of Blur, a couple of disastrous nights drinking Absinthe, and I don’t even remember drinking it.

Have you ever been down to your last dollar and how did you cope? Adrian Gibbon, Bassetbury Balloons Party Shop, High Wycombe It was on New Order’s first US tour and I didn’t really get the idea of tipping - I’m a bit of a tight bastard and I find the whole idea of tipping abhorrent. We bought a beer in a club and it was 75 cents, So I thought, well, you’ve got to tip here or they'll go fucking mad. I only had a dollar, I didn’t have any more money so I him the dollar and said, Keep the change, and he went, "You fucking Manc bastard," and threw the 25 cents at me.

Do you own a Sainsbury’s reward card? Jill Cash, Amersham I do, but it’s mysteriously gone missing. I probably left it in the toilet somewhere. I keep losing odd credit cards,,, It didn’t have many points on it because I cashed it. I have a special platinum reward card. You get more points than other people, being a celebrity and that.

I saw you purchase a tuna sandwich from Spinks in Wilmslow. It was a cold day - why didn’t you buy a pasty like me? Were you trying to be hard? Andy Parr, Maclesfield Ha ha ha! I’m trying to lose a bit of weight, that’s why! Tuna's much more healthy for you and I'm trying to go on a health kick. I can’t eat pasties any more without affecting my, ah, already fragile waistline.

What’s the most unusual place you’ve had sex? Polly Winterton, London W12 I couldn’t possibly tell you without offending someone. Um... ah... I might get in trouble. I'm trying to think of which particular unusual place out of all the unusual places...

Don’t you feel ashamed for having started Keith Allen out in his pop career? K Allen (thankfully no relation), Bromley Heh heh heh! K. Allen? Um... em... I think Keith’s made a wonderful contribution to pop. I think the Fat Les records are some of the all-time classic songs that’ll go down as... ‘90's classics. I’m very proud of Keith’s contribution to pop music and I’m sure that every time there’s some kind of football event to cash in on... er! help to promote I’m sure Keith’ll be there with one of his wonderful renditions.

What’s your best Shaun Ryder story? Jane Smith, Liverpool Which one? I’ve got about three. He went out in his car to score and he crashed into a vicar in a Lada. He had 500 quid in his pocket and he said to the vicar, "Look, mate, your car’s not worth 500 quid, I’ll give you this ifyou don’t call the cops." He was a vicar and he wouldn’t take it, so Shaun said, "Well, fuck off then," and got in his car and drove off. About ten minutes later, the police knocked at his house and he said, how did you find me so quick? And they just showed him his number plate. He’d left his number plate at the scene of the crime. What else? There’s a few disgusting ones...

Did you really do a version of Blue Monday for a Sunkist ad? If so, how did the lyrics go? Peter Rees, Shrewsbury (Recites) "How does it feel/When you’re drinking in the sun? Something something something/Sunkist is the one/How does it feel/When you’re drinking in the sun/All you’ve got to believe/Is Sunkist is the one" I didn’t write them. We got offered £100,000 to do it. I kept laughing when I was singing it, so Hooky (Peter Hook, New Order bassist) got a piece card and wrote “£100,000” on it, held it up, and I sang it perfectly. But then Rob Gretton (New Order’s late manager) turned up and put the kibosh on it. There’s a remix of Blue Monday by Steve “Silk” Hurley and it’s got the Sunkist lyrics on it.

People who bought the Electronic album probably see it as a substitute for New Order, and primarily use Electronic to fill the gap until the next New Order album What do you think of that? Nicklas Mandahl Enevaldsen, Denmark Well... very pleased. Fucking hell, what do you expect me to say? Um... Thank God not everybody’s like that.

Former Factory Records boss Tony Wilson comes to you with a sure-fire business proposition that “just can’t fail”. What do you do? Kevin Leslie, Oldham Ha ha! Ha ha! Piss myself laughing. In fact that’s what happened when we were recording Every Little Counts... Tony came in with a sure-fire business proposition.

Does Steven (Morris, New Order drummer) let you play with his tank? Lee Hollows, Birmingham I’ve sat in his tank, yeah. Steve’s got a tank that he has permanently pointed at my house. Me and Steve play with it and we’re in training for Kosovo. When the troops go in, we hope be in the vanguard of operations. We’re keeping the gun well-oiled and we’re going to shove it right up Slobodan’s arse. In fact, someone up the road from Steve’s had the same tank, and they’ve got a slight design fault which means that you’re driving along and swerve, it’s uncontrollable, and this guy’s tank did this and decapitated his wife. It was because it was on the news and there was a picture of Steve’s tank - we were “Steve’s crashed the tank and Gillian’s been decapitated”. So I don’t think I’ll be going in it again.

What’s your favorite memory of Rob Gretton? Ruth Quest, Gloucester (long pause) um.,. Rob used to say to everyone, “What are you doing?” nothing, Rob, nothing: “What should you be doing? Skin up!” I’ll remember those words.

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#new order #bernard sumner #electronic #text

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