#not like in a toxic way

[inkskinned]

it's been said before and i'm sure said better than i can phrase it. but really, really - if you like making "i'm going to kill myself" jokes, please try switching to being ironically conceited instead.

anytime something goes wrong, say things like "ah well at least i'm beautiful and charming and everyone loves me." when you forget something, try "my big huge brain is so smart and thinking about too many other very big wizardly thoughts you wouldn't even understand." when you're frustrated by one of your symptoms, start talking like you're in My Immortal. "Life has come for me but my eyes are beautiful pools of gorgeous fire and my hair is amazing. I stuck my middle finger up at life and told it to fuck off and it did."

just... try it for a month or two. try saying the most absurdly self-congratulatory shit you can think of.

i know it's tempting to make suicide or self-harm jokes. and for me at least, a decade ago (!) when someone suggested i stop making those kinds of jokes, i was kind of at a loss for what to replace them with. i wanted to make light of these moments, but genuinely (at the time) my first thought really was suicidal ideation. there was a part of me that even felt like ... i was kind of "making light" of that voice. that if i could say i want to die lol, it would help take the sting out of that genuine (albeit passive) desire. like i could turn my illness into a joke.

when i started complimenting myself instead, it felt awkward and stupid. it felt really, really ironic. what i was actually saying was nobody would ever think this stuff about me, that's what makes it so fucking funny.

but. the effect was immediate. first thing i noticed was the people around me. when i dropped a glass and said ah my skin is too beautiful and sleek the glass has swooned and broken for me, other people were suddenly overjoyed to jump in with the joke. rather than making an awkward moment, we'd both start cracking up. ah princess sleek hands, i've heard of you.

i was 19. i hadn't noticed i'd been making others tense when i said i want it all to end. i know now that it's incredibly hard to know how to walk that moment - do you talk to them about your concern? do you potentially make them uncomfortable by asking if they're okay? do you ignore the situation? do you help them pick up the glass, or do they need to do it by themselves? are they genuinely made suicidal over this small moment? and most importantly, how do you - without professional training or supplies - actually help?

most people want to help you pick up the glass in your life, they just have no fucking idea how to do it. they don't want to make anything worse. they don't want to make assumptions about you. they love you, they're scared for you - and being scared makes people kind of freeze up. it's not because they don't love you. it's because they do.

now when something bad happens, my first thought is how can i make a stupid joke about this. it isn't my brain saying you're a dumb fucking bitch. i spend more time laughing. i spend more time being gentle with myself. i spend more time feeling good.

and the thing is - what's kind of funny - is that you'd be surprised by how many people agree with you. the first time i said i'm too pretty to understand that, someone else said to be fair you're the prettiest person in this room. i promise - you really don't know how kindly your friends see you. but they love you for a reason. they sort of reverse-velveteen-rabbit you. your weird and ugly spots fade away and you just become... the love they want to give you.

go love yourself ironically. the worst thing that happens is that you end up tricking your reflection into actually loving you.

#something something toxic relationships notwithstanding #(re: the friends stuff) #most people love you. automatically. for being alive. like people are just MADE that way. #and the reason kms jokes don't always land is bc people fucking love you and are like - ahhh how do i help #let them help you!!!!!!

[aq2003]

imagine you need to get away from the house and your responsibilities for a hot second and there's this bus driver/tour guide you meet and he invites you on a one-time big sightseeing trip (what the bus driver is telling himself. don't worry about that). and at first you think it's like a date and he's into you but this dries up maybe half a day in when the sightseeing goes wrong and he starts angsting about his dead girlfriend. anyway the trip gets extended and he's still the worst most disappointing tour guide in the world so you do the emotional equivalent of poking at him with a stick and asking what the hell is wrong with him. bus driver relents and reveals that his whole family is dead and he's been trying to avoid thinking about it by being a bus driver. you listen to him as he talks about how nice his town was before it exploded and you suddenly realize that the bus driver is furiously grieving/homesick/depressed and you're like the only thing stopping him from driving off a cliff and into the sea. especially bc the next day you run into the mafia and the bus driver starts screaming at them to kill him. then he hugs an electric fence. and then he tells you to take the bus keys and leave him and screams at the mafia to kill him again. and like this is so obviously horrific but what can you do besides stay with him on more sightseeing trips and hope you're doing enough to keep him alive. bc one of the responsibilities you ducked from was your job of saving people and this stupid fucking bus driver is a person in need of saving so bad. even if he starts shutting down when he manages to catch that you're directly onto how unstable he is. anyway, on an unrelated note, ten and martha from hit tv show doctor who,

#tenth doctor #martha jones #doctor who #dr who #ten and martha #mt #everyone accept my bus driver analogy into your hearts. watch series 3 the way i watched it and become crazy like me. #ten is NOT her toxic rebounded bf he is her mentally unstable bus driver turned insanely codependent friend #god bless. #10 era

[lazycranberrydoodles]

i do not remember the plot of scum villain because i read it in 2020 and it feels like a fever dream now so my characterization is entirely based off of the fanon on my dash.

hualian are my favorite but i do feel that bingqiu deserve the win. tgcf is VERY yuri, but svsss has gender as a main theme and both characters keep getting compared to maidens. overall there are more explicit references to women regarding bingqiu.

#this is the first time ive ever scumposted yayyy #theyre also more toxic and weird and reserved about each other. in a good way. #to anybody else hualian is insane but compared to bingqiu its an honest and straightforward relationship #both have complex facades built off of society and trope expectations but hualian drop theirs immediately #and to this day sqq and lbh are still fighting tooth and nail #in my experience yuri can be. a horrible spiderweb of expectations and assumptions and not wanting to make assumptions #hualian have the plausible deniability right up until the end (their romance is literally SO lesbian coded) but . after like 15 minutes #they can tell when the other person is lying #and honesty is less yuri than whatever bingqiu is going through at all times #tgcf #svsss #my art #i guess lmao #art #hualian #bingqiu #guy yuri poll #mspaint #ms paint #cringetober 2023 #cringetober #lmao

[mortellanarts]

You must absolutely hate me for what I did to you

#my art #revolutionary girl utena #rgu #juri arisugawa #shiori takatsuki #juriori #Guess who's been listening to Juri's songs from the utena musical way too many times lately 🧡 #I had this sketched out since the first time I watched this scene in the black rose arc all the way back like june last year #it did something to me #the strong shadows and oranges and of course the characters and conflict in on itself it clawed at me and I immediately had to draw about i #she's an orange lesbian..... just like meee... #toxic yuri #my favorite

[sergle]

When I talk about something bad I've experienced, Baked In to my experience as A Woman, I am not "making my little cousins feel like shit for being women", because I am talking in a space with, allegedly, adults. I am not bringing my problems to children in the first place. That said, I don't HAVE to make my baby cousin feel bad, because she's already experienced sexual harassment in her life, and she's only 8, and doesn't even understand what any of it means yet. And everyone in her family can try to instill confidence in her, and never talk about our bodies in a negative way. But she can still feel like she's too chubby, because she still goes to school, and talks to other kids and their parents, and still sees ads, and still watches tv. We can be positive, but we can't fix the root of the problem. And I don't HAVE to tell trans women that "pain is a rite of passage", because that's not a Rule being enforced (by me), because I've already sat and listened to my friend complain about constantly shaving as a Baseline necessity and how it hurts her skin and she has to put makeup onto fresh cuts on her face because going out without a full face of properly feminine makeup would make her life worse, and being anything less than thin and lithe makes her "less feminine", and ALL the things that can make her "more feminine" are behind a paywall. And I can try to make her feel better, and I can hear her experiencing the tenfold version of problems I relate to, but I can't fix the root cause of her problems by just telling her not to complain. Forcing happiness as a core personality trait for women is not the Girlboss Feminist move that you think it is, and no amount of gender euphoria in the world will make you immune to systemic oppression.

#sergle.txt #you cunts learned the term 'toxic positivity' years ago and forgot it instantly #putting a bandaid on a fuckin severed leg is what it is #do i wish i wasn't a woman? no #do i feel pretty in a dress? yes #have i suffered? OH MY GOD YES #do i think any woman alive today has lived without suffering in these ways? NO. #unless she is being raised by wolves. in which case. good for her. #again I am still flabbergasted by that post having used trans woman as a last ditch effort scapegoat. #like. shocked. as if ANY trans girl's problems are because other women complain abt the way they're treated. #she's got her own problems bitch!! and they are directly correlated to my problems!! #it's like. it's infantilizing almost. the way the dickheads in that post went from ''kids'' to ''trans women''. #adult women who know how gender works. #condescending.

[nextimeiny]

#i'm insane. i'm deranged. i'm a fucking goner. FINITO!! #chainshipping #sorry i've been listening to a lot of mitski as of late and dudes. it's been a time #it's so them coded. bag of bones is also them coded in like a adam lives but it's sad and toxic way. aka one of the better ways #(i looove soft and domestic and fluffy chainshipping and i absolutely think it's possible. but there's something about that toxicity man.) #('finn why did you use the behind the scenes footage of the love scene' ever heard of color palettes. fucko) #adam faulkner stanheight #lawrence gordon

[psalmsofpsychosis]

The Average Alfred Pennyworth Portrayal: *is Bruce Wayne's capable and somewhat cryptic butler*

Gotham!Alfred Pennyworth: *threatens an 11 years old boy to eat his dinner proper because if he doesn't he'll be too light in weight by the morning and the Balloonman will come for him and will tie him to a balloon and send him to the skies to die because he's rich and corrupt and forever guilty*

#not to be dramatic on main but i'd die for Gotham!Alfred he's clinically insane #and he's exactly what Bruce needs they're so fucking toxic together (most affectionate) #like you look at Gotham!Alfred #and suddenly it's very understandable why baby Bruce turned into a bucket of feral ferrets the way he did #god i love them both so much they's so!!!!! #they grapple with each other and have their teeth sunken into the back of each others' necks so deep and it's pure affection and love #and it's honest and trusting but it's not kind #fucking delicious dynamic Gotham's Alfred&Bruce saved me actually #they're sewn together by the spine and they both suffer for it #alfred pennyworth #Bruce Wayne #Gotham #Gotham TV

[uglynavel]

I've only recently started shipping Zutara (I've mainly been a zukka/meiko shipper) and I gotta say y'all are the strongest warriors. I don't know how you all have stayed sane all these years with the majority of the fandom harassing you and actually calling y'all stupid for thinking two fictional characters had chemistry

Literally like every other post in this tag is people being vile and hateful towards y'all

#pro zutara #all these years everyone told me zutara shippers were the most toxic in the fandom #when it's actually the other way around #like people genuinely get angry at zutara #it's not mentally healthy #grow up #most of us are in our 20-30s #it's so childish to bully people over a ship #atla #zuko atla #Katara atla #zutara

[thermodynamic-comedian]

imagine ianthe's suffering rn. its so funny to me. girl all u wanted was power and i respect that but turns out that the side effect of power isnt the moral implications or whatever, its dealing with god's personal drama.

#ianthe/john dynamic is so fascinating and amusing to me. #theyre equally awful in such different ways #post-htn especially. #ianthe's so much for the grind for the power of it all yknow. theres only one person she cares about really. #and she has to deal with the most powerful guy ever being just a very sad very lonely wet kitty of a person. #i imagine at some point the (toxic codependant) instincts kick in and she starts like. genuinely caring for him #in the way she cares for people. which is by endlessly tormenting them #and he starts caring for her the way he cares for people which i can only assume is by constantly asking her if she hates him #theyre both the worst. they can be the worst together. #the locked tomb #tlt #ianthe tridentarius #ianthe the first #saint of awe #htn #htn spoilers #harrow the ninth #john gaius

[annannjay]

little studies of the ofmd cast!

i either forgot how to or have never drawn these charas before so it was a much needed exercise!

#my art tag #fanart #ofmd #ofmd art #ofmd s2 #our flag means death #our flag means fanart #our flag means gay #there’s no way im gonna tag everyone #i really enjoyed s2!! #the only downside was the toxicity in the fandom.. #like i haven’t seen this many rancid takes before yikes #tho maybe i was just lucky to be in chill fandoms?? idk #atm working on part 2 of this bunch!

[inkskinned]

in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!

they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.

they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.

you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.

but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.

where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.

and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?

doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.

but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.

what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.

just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?

your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.

#spilled ink #warm up #writeblr #this is about someone specific but feel free to blorbo on main. #tbh this is familial for me so that is an element but it's also about childhood best friends #and probably about ur enemies to lovers blorbo #(but i want to specifically say if ur partner is like this. not necessarily a good partnership lol.) #(the dynamics at play in familial/friend relationships feel equally important and in some ways are HARDER to escape. #bc we can see that this is a potentially toxic romantic foundation. #but in family ? ...... it's toxic and it doesn't stop u from loving them. bc u always have. #and i think that makes it harder. by a lot. which is what this is referencing). #but genuinely and really truly forever feel free to tag ur potentially toxic enemies to lovers on this and all my poetry #here i'll do one for u - adora & catra :x

[uncanny-tranny]

The absolute biggest thing I've learned as a trans guy: there is nothing more masculine and manly than not caring about looking or acting masculine or manly. Growing your masculinity or manhood takes time and care - you have no obligation to let the world water your garden when you can do that just fine (and you can, even if it doesn't feel like you can!)

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #trans advice #got a stereotypically 'feminine/woman' piercing and. i feel like a man *inverted shania twain riff from man! i feel like a woman* #nothing affirms my manhood more than not caring about the genuinely toxic imaginings that the world has about manhood and men like me 👍 #yes it can be a struggle ESPECIALLY if you're somebody who actively has to defend your masculinity/manhood... #...it's hard for me too sometimes. i had to not only build my manhood but jealously defend it from the 'phobes... #...but i am all the better for it because this is MINE. i have never truly owned something in this way... #...i don't own other people nor my cats nor even my material possessions - not in the way i own my manhood... #...i own it like a tiger owns his territory and i defend it similarly... #...i do not WANT to own my loved ones or possessions the same as i own my manhood and masculinity. this is special to me #my manhood was *made* for me to be owned anyway. i feel that applies to every trans person who hasn't felt able to own themselves #this is in the same vein as learning to cast aside the cissexist views of bodies&experiences that can make dysphoria worae

[alaynestone]

you're an angel, i'm a dog or you're a dog and i'm your man you believe me like a god i destroy you like i am

#spnedit #samdeanedit #wincestedit #sam x dean #wincest #the epic love story of sam and dean #in all its terrible fratricidal glory #the toxicity goes both ways and always has and that's how i like it #carver era is very much informed by the fact that sam was able to take control of his own demons because of dean #divorcing the mark of cain era from their shared history is not only a misunderstanding of dean but a misunderstanding of sam #and i'm sorry this post is so long but i could've gone on and on and on and i'm not actually sorry about it #they are all things to each other good and bad and everything in between #forever boys #supernatural #whatever this is #*

[spicyclematis]

KISS OF LIFE as Greek mythological figures

#the greek myth enthusiasts today watching midas touch: it's my time to shine #kiss of life #midas touch #femaleidolsedit #idolady #kiofsource #kiofnet #ggnet #mygifs #kgoddesses #dazzlingidolsedit #kpopccc #natty #julie #haneul #belle #greek mythology #the way i'm so gonna write an essay lol #using greek myths to sing a song about toxic relationship??? that's the proper way babe #but it's interesting how the dude turned into mostly stone instead of gold #i like that they used medusa's story as a twist #anw not to mention athena beefing with both arachne and medusa lol #as a goddess of wisdom.... she wasn't really that wise tbh

[keepyourpantsongohan]

I have a Venn Diagram to share

#satoru gojo #kakashi hatake #mostly this post was inspired by me having the phrase 'toxic yaoi friendship' stuck in my head wanting a way to use it HAHA #the bi flag colours are. as always. intentional #also i struggled on describing the anime magic thing. because kakashi is EXTREMELY powerful. and ppl admire that #but ultimately no one's really like 'wow what a freak' about him specifically. but they are definitely like that for gojo #i could add a point about love triangles too but this is v long already #also kakashi is ALSO silly but not as a trauma response. silliness sidegig #jujutsu kaisen spoilers #jujutsu kaisen manga spoilers #jjk spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #jujutsu kaisen #jjk series #naruto series #ayesha talks anime #paint edits #nonsense #i also thought about adding a 'would call me a slur'/'wouldn't call me a slur' point jokingly but i thought that it might be too soon #(i haven't read the manga but i do keep hearing things against my will) #venn diagram

[chrollohearttags]

y’all won’t be satisfied until you run every black writer off this app and I’m so serious. Yes, I’m being rude to anybody that takes time out of their day to post some dumb ass remarks (a recycled one at that) and uses it to disrespect black writers of any capacity. Sitting up screaming about wanting more representation and the black reader fics being nonexistent but y’all get mad about everything. Yes, I’m cussing y’all out everytime I see it and I’m blocking idc. Free, FREE content that people took time to create, y’all are being nasty about it. We don’t owe y’all grace or kindness. Especially when we can see the hypocrisy. Go to hell with gas undies on and leave us alone. And please write whatever y’all want and fuck these people. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

#rant #vent and rant #cw discourse #I see fifty toxic baby daddy fics with toji’s dirty ass and nobody moves #but damn #a character who’s balls y’all were just sucking two weeks ago can’t smoke a blunt #I don’t even write these so called ‘toxic’ hcs but I’m all for black women having representation in whatever way makes them comfortable #get over yourselves #like who do you hoes think y’all are #nobody has to write to appease a bitch who can’t even spell her own name #the way my lil hiatus is about to turn into me archiving this shit and leaving #cherry chats 🍒 #my blog is not a safe space for you fucking losers #and if you don’t like it #unfollow me #I love eren and the AOT characters over here and I’m not gonn stop writing for them bc you bitches got a new character to gush over