#not hiding them well enough

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)

#poorly drawn mdzs #better drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #Woah...it's been a whole *year* since I took the leap and uploaded my 'first attempt' art. #It's outdated now but it holds a special place in my heart for the fact it started all of this off. #Calling this 'poorly-drawn' was always about accepting that my art was going to be imperfect and messy - and doing it anyways! #There has been a staggering number of times I have drawn something I almost didn't upload because I didn't think it was 'good enough' #only for someone to say they liked it - or that it made them laugh. And it has helped me realize - #-The worst critic for my work has always been myself. If I listened to it all the time...well we would not be here now B'*) #And now that I have dabbled in other fandoms I can truly see how lucky was to start out with the MXTX fans. #The supportive messages and tags have truly been a guiding force toward my artistic and self improvement. #I really can't describe how grateful I am. #Thank you for seeing something worth rooting for when I was just figuring things out. #Thank you for being sweeter than the candy I have strategically hidden in the nooks and crannies of this house. #But watch out! If you forget to find them we will get ants. #I remembered to not hide chocolate in the bed this year. Yes I know it melted last time. Yes it did stain. I'm still sorry. #Thank you for loving me regardless <3 Even if it looked like I shit the bed real bad.

[corrodedcoughin]

How many times has corroded coffin tried to incorporate ‘pyrotechnics’ into their performance (eddie lighting the spray from an aerosol can on fire and screaming because he scared himself. Then the rest of the band screaming because he turned to face them while still spraying the can and almost melting an amp, Jeff’s eye brows and a drum) before they had to be stopped?

#you don’t want to know the answer #the bar owner let them off with too much stuff in the name of entertaining himself and a hope for insurance money #stranger things #eddie munson #corroded coffin #jeff stranger things #gareth stranger things #freak stranger things #sometimes Steve sees Eddie get this look in his eye and Steve immediately goes to hide his hairspray. he knows that look and he promised #Wayne he’d never have to see Eddie with blank spaces where his eyebrows should be ever again #once was enough. especially when Eddie started drawing them on as ridiculously as he could and wouldn’t wash them off #even when he was going in to town or Wayne’s partner was coming over #it’s okay though. Wayne’s parter had met eddie before and he understood well enough #Steve was not willing to give even the slightest opportunity for Wayne to be disappointed in him though. so that’s why his hairspray is in #a safe now with the key hidden somewhere eddie will never look but Steve will never forget #his yearbook on the photo of Eddie

[socksandbuttons]

Hey Eclipse, please, I hope you can be as good a brother to Sun as you are to Lunar, if you can take care of and protect them both equally, I would be very grateful.

He does and is over protective but Lunar is able to assert himself pretty well (He's more afraid of Moon than most things-). They both worry for Sun. They also worry about Eclipse overworking himself.

#Lunar can hide his fear well enough until the object of he fears is there. #Sun can wear his heart on his sleeve and is safe to do so with them here #sams swap au #swap lunar #swap eclipse #sams lunar #myart

[skylarbee]

you can poke your head behind the mountain peak, don't have to mean that you've gone into hiding

#you can't see it but you know alex is smiling like a fool #well probably both of them are really #I'm still feeling so emotional after yesterday #i don't mind us not getting more than this #i don't mind them hugging in the dark #it just shows that they don't have to put their love on display and brag about it to everyone else #they can just show each other and that's enough #that's what love is about no? #they're not hiding they're just not shoving it in everyone's faces #(they know we know anyways) #if you look up the definition of true love their name will pop up #“we've gone through a lot together” miles said in a recent interview and it could've made me sad because it includes the hard times too #but it's precisely because of the hard times and not letting those beat them and tear them apart is why they're still here #and still thriving and loving each other and being best friends #they really said “we're gonna fight everything that comes our way and we're still gonna hold each other's hands at the end of it” #aaaaaand I'm crying #don't ever doubt their love guys #miles kane #alex turner #milex #arctic monkeys #the car tour #tlsp #the last shadow puppets #505 #body paint

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

my greatest achievement in DA2 is maxing out Carver's friendship

and all it took was begrudgingly kissing a little templar ass in act 1 because Carver didn't want to plan a prison break if my Hawke got his ass arrested for being stupid.

#carver hawke #dragon age #dragon age 2 #da2 #well that and he didn't want leandra gamlen and himself to also get arrested for harboring an apostate but you get me #carver hawke loves his sibling and doesn't want them to get taken away that's why he's such an ass and approves of 'pro-templar' choices #in act 1 he's not pro-templar himself but kissing a little templar ass is how you avoid being arrested #'why yes cullen you are so right the templars are so cool and sexy' my hawke says through gritted teeth for that +5 friendship #look i love him okay he's my favorite and i will go the extra mile to make him happy and it's worth it for how much softer can be later on #honestly maxing out his friendship isn't hard if you're aware of what quests you're bringing him on and make him a grey warden #oh but you do need the legacy dlc otherwise you can't fully max friendship out... you can still get enough to change his dialogue/attitude #also like... we the player know hawke won't be arrested like they're not in any actual dangers from the templars as the playable character #but carver doesn't know that and neither does hawke so the templars *are* a real threat to them #and it's incredibly reckless to purposely piss off templars AND selfish because it's not just hawke that'll be arrested it's their family #for harboring them like we witness templars going after people hiding apostates soooo..... #i'm just saying that carver isn't irrational or just being an ass to personally annoy you okay he has cause #also once carver's a warden and ed has money and the estate THEN he's way more open about telling the templars to piss off #sigh one day i'll sit down and write an essay about carver.... one day

[imsociallyanxiousgetoverit]

THERES NO FANFICTION FOR THIS BED WE MADE‽‽

#dont get me wrong I adore the game as is #but like I wanna read MORE #WHAT DATES AND GOSSIP AND SNOOPING DO SOPHIE AND BETH GET UP TO! #WHAT IF LINDSAY AND PAUL WERE ABLE TO BE HAPPY LIKE KLAUS AND DAVE IN SEASON ONE OF THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY!? #HOW WAS COLLEGE LIFE WITH ANNE AND MARCELLA? #please yall let someone write about them #I really struggle to write realistic historical queer fanfiction because the angst of it is really hard for me #enough of my life has already been hiding who I am and I really dont handle those feelings (like directly as id feel writing) well nowadays #anyways ignore my life story summed up and WRITE THOSE FICS PLEASE #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #request #fanfiction request #fanfic request #fic request #this bed we made #tbwm #sophie roy #elizabeth lambert #50s queer life #historical queer life #queer video game #gab smolders playthrough is really great

[flowercrowngods]

i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.

you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.

and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts

#how do you miss me when you won't talk to me? how do you like me so much and then go to just. not? #how did i let you in when i try so hard not to let people do that because i know that once they get past the walls all i'll be left with #is the idea of them rotting and withering inside me. polluting the space i create to keep myself safe. #why does everyone leave? leave in silence too. leaving behind so many questions and so many words engraved in my brain #i am so tired of *grieving* when those i grieve are still alive and well and thriving and i'm reminded that it's versions of myself #that i'm grieving instead. how do you grieve yourself? how do you not fucking fall apart over it? #just. fucking talk to me. don't make it be true that all i'll ever be is nothingness and the memory of someone you liked once #but never never never liked enough #i'm so so cold already. i'm a shell. i want to be warm again but it always leaves me so hollow and hurting #i grieve the dio who was warm. i grieve them i miss them i am so so angry that he had to leave. to hide. with no way out #i'm happy for you. i'm happy you're happy. but you're no better than anyone else and it makes me want to run away again #but i have nowhere else to run and no one else to be. and it's so fucked that it doesn't matter who i am i'll never be enough #for someone to just. stay. to see me and to stay. to hear me and to sit and listen and just. just fucking stay. #maybe i'm not worth staying for. maybe there's nothing to know nothing to hear nothing to see nothing to listen to nothing to find #maybe all i'll ever get is one/two good months paid for with a lifetime of grief. and i'm at the point where i don't want the good months #anymore with you or anyone else who tears down these walls with affection that is so endlessly addictive and leaves me yearning. #on the off chance that it will keep the grief away too. but that's the thing about grief isn't it? it's here to stay. unlike you #god this is so fucked up and i'll delete this later but for now i just need to. let it out. poe said i should make a side blog for the grie #but poe's not there anymore. poe has stopped starting fires. so this goes on main until shame makes me take it down #blah #personal #not st

[malikselfindulgence]

Sorry for the uptick in system stuff Im lowkey struggling and need to see system positivity posts or I'll explode

#malik's rambles #okay i know my ass is gonna vent in tags rn so . tw for that !! #iwill never shut up i missed tumblr tags so much wow #itsnot their fault and like . like i dont want to blame them . but its so isolating being and living this way #ill always be grateful for them and I know its just my brain trying to cope and like !! its not their fault but this sucks so bad like wow #also doesnt help that besides how scared I am and how I just . wanna be normal . I feel like I sound insane to other people #it constantly feels like everyone is laughing at us and is just playing along with our “roleplay thing” because they dont wanna bother #and like !! im trying really really hard to be positive about it and just live as well as I can . all of us are !! but it makes me feel like #ridiculous . it feels like everyone'll laugh and think we're playing pretend. which shouldnt matter people will always be assholes !! #I dunno aough im rantingso hard rn . and masa2 wont share which is fine but imscared and worried and scared and aauahhggggggggg #ik the point of the disorder is to hide memories from me so i can function but like . man this suckss9 bad #okay enough of this . Imgonna watch monsters inc i love monsters inc

[wereshrew-admirer]

conflicting desires for lyke and duvall in sangfielle season 2:

-duvall low-key resenting lyke over the chine thing

-lyke high-key resenting duvall over the oratorio thing and EXPECTING duvall to resent him over chine but instead it's the same one-sided tension that they had on the jade moon

i want them to be involuntary friends. I want it to look like a huge 8ft tall straight* guy calling his obviously gay best friend a wretched bitch and everyone is a little uncomfortable about it except for duvall, who may or may not be behind lyke's bizarrely bad luck when it comes to flies landing in his drinks.

(*i don't think lyke is straight but i do think he's the type of bisexual man that people assume is straight)

#broken record voice #i don't often have trans headcanons actually but sangfielle is an exception... #to me the blackwick group is T4TvsT4TvsT+ marn #lyke is joyfully trans - he's 8 ft tall because he went overboard with the transition magic #pickman and duvall are both stealth because they grew up in oppressive societies #pickman is deeply uncomfortable how vulnerable it makes her feel - she doesn't exactly hide it but will kill u for mentioning it #duvall does hide it but only because he's been hate crimed #until sapodilla - after which he receives the most idealized form of instant-srs from the bugs that his gender euphoria sky rockets #and he doesn't tell anyone exactly but everyone in the blackwick group clocks him on the change #pickman hates it and thinks he doesn't deserve such an easy out #lyke wouldprobably be happy for him if he wasn't pissed over the oratorio #es is the most well adjusted and is privately very happy for him but polite enough not to mention it #chine is trans but in the “this animal does not experience human gender and it's inappropriate to even try to make sense of it” way #chine is also the only one who has seen duvall in every stage of transition and has been enthusiastically supportive the whole time #marn is cis but if any of them hadn't already transitioned then she'd be trying to treat it like a curse to be cured. #i think pickman has had the most traditional medical transition because she distrusts magic - until she meets marn who absolutely #already has a recipe for an hrt-charm and gives one to her #duvall did some sort of terrible black-market medical transition in aldomina - the kind where he had to lie to ten thousand therapists #to convince them that he was actually a straight man and so he should be allowed to transition because a straight trans guy is safer #to society than a lesbian?? that type of horrorshow. meanwhile he's exclusively mlm (or as exclusive as he can be while fucking chine) #which pickman would have respected because to be trans is to suffer for it but nooo instead she didn't even know he was trans until the bug #transition #es is just chill. duvall eventually got a magical bug transition? well es is the magical bug for syntyche #sorry this went way off topic #i am avoiding going to work can you tell? woops #this was all to basically say that i think it'd be funny if #before the bug transition duvall low-key resented lyke for having been able to access magic transition. some guys have all the luck

[jokerownsmysoul]

#I made this edit purposefully to yearn over the corners of his mouth #And to try to express how much I long to kiss them softly and to show how beautiful and endearing they are #so in case it's not clear yet. I need to kiss the corners of his mouth immediately #and caress them and draw them and devote to them all of my prayers and wishes #I've so much to say about them and someday I will 🤎 #The corners of his mouth are one of the places I want to kiss the most #*sighs deeply* #My edit #This is a Mr. Corner Of His Mouth ™ scene to me 🥹 well one of the many 💓 #I love the way his lips gets thinner and thinner as they progress at the point that the corners of his mouth look like black lines #And it's my favorite thing I swear. Not sure if that's the right way to describe this peculiar thing about them #I just know that I love them and cherish them. a lot #Arthur Fleck #I'm also head over heels for how big the size of his hoodie #I'm once again stating that this hood is big enough to tuck & hide your face in it while he's wearing it #to kiss him on the lips in the middle of the street to hide the both of you from the rest of the world 🥹 #I'll draw this someday #Or write. Idk #I'm full of yearn that's the only thing I know

[beanmaster-pika]

A sizeable chunk of the fanbase (especially those who read the webtoon) seeing Collei in 3.0: aw thank goodness she’s doing well and even has two dads who are in love :)

Hoyoverse half a year later, writing Cyno and Tighnari into an event that in-game half of Mondstadt considers a lovers’ festival: shit shit shit shit shit we have to no-homo this

#edit: STOP LIKING THIS POST. LET IT DIE. #edit cont: tumblr will hide my creative posts from the tags but the comment I don’t want to spread gets in immediately. typical :/ #???????????? #not sure whether to take this at face value #bc there is a very long history of writers pausing mid-story to be like ‘uhh forget all the chemistry we’ve written up to now. obviously #these characters are close because they’re like ~brothers~ or ~sisters~’ and then go back to exactly what they were doing before #and never mentioning that again #so I’m reserving judgement until I see how things play out in more events #hyv has written characters who are siblings or who consider each other siblings or family before and they’ve been pretty clear about them #from the beginning. kaeya’s character stories explain that he and diluc are adopted siblings and shenhe’s demo before she was even released #says ‘surprise! she’s related to chongyun!’ #this tidbit feels way late and honestly reads to me like a retroactive censor dodge. anyway #I played act 1 and was like ‘oh hee hee cynonari and their daughter collei :)’ and then act 2 came along #and re: windblume like. the lore says some celebrate it as a festival of gratitude #and windblume 1 showed it could be a festival for family as well (barbara kaeya and diluc in the montage cutscene) #so I would assume there’d be enough ambiguity for them like with jeanlisa in windblume 1 #but I guess not?? #pika’s ramblings #genshin #genshin impact

[ourlordapollo]

Oversharing hour/nothing happened buuuut

This is not really the kind of thing you can just tell people but sometimes I do wish there was a quick way to be like "listen, when I call myself 'crazy' or 'weird' I don't mean, like, I wear quirky clothes and like rum raisin ice cream, I mean that the way I talk and act and the things I believe are oftentimes so foreign to the people around me that I feel like they view me as some sort of spectacle instead of a human being they can connect to" without sounding like I'm trying to be Cole Sprouse from Riverdale

#i have struggled with this feeling my whoooole life but when i was younger i couldnt articulate it as well #i kept complaining that people saw me as a joke or that nobody took me serious #it's just like. when im upset and good-natured about it im 'funny' and when im upset amd not hiding it im 'scary' #but when do we get to talk about my feelings instead of how my feelings are making *you* feel #well anyway. that's enough soul baring for one day #im mostly at peace but sometimes i have these moments where i express a thought and realize 'oh. people are laughing at me.' #and i do try to make people laugh with me when im having Big Feelings because when im genuine i get told im being scary but again like. #when do i get to feel my feelings instead of making sure im expressing them 'correctly' #i hate being told im scary. it's the worst feeling in the world.

[ask-ursa-tonypeter]

[fic: wicked love] Soooo, iirc, Peter does call Tony "Dad" in bed. Tony and Peter, if that's ok to ask, - how does that makes you feel? Does it make the situation more awkward? Does it hurt? Does it feel right? Is it a turn off or a turn on? And just generally i wonder if you've discussed this aspect of your relationship at all.

Peter: Oh-- we really didn’t talk about it? It’s just… he’s my dad. I don’t even think about it, really. It got to where it didn’t feel weird calling him ‘Tony’ when I was Spider-man, but that was… It felt different. He didn’t see me as his son then, and now he does. And I… I mean-- don’t take this the wrong way, but-- I like that he’s my dad? That part is important to me, too.

…But I don’t know. I do kind of… Things did feel different between us when I was Spider-man, and I kind of miss some of that? He cared about me, but he wasn’t... trying to take responsibility for me like he does as my dad. Maybe changing what I call him at home could help us get back to that, but-- I don’t know if that’s even possible, really…

Maybe I should ask him what he thinks about it.

-----

Tony: He calls me that because I’m his dad. There’s not really any point to trying to pretend it’s anything other than what it is.

#fic: wicked love #wicked love: peter #wicked love: tony #ursa interlude: #I had them answer this one separately because they wouldn't be honest in front of each other #tony as always still requires further explanation #he both prefers that peter call him dad and would be resistant to changing it for the reason he said here #because he would see it as an attempt to hide from the reality of the situation #I joked on another post that if they ever roleplayed peter meeting wild young tony he would be super into it and then feel bad about it #for that reason of... of course it feels nice to roleplay something less complicated than what they have #but then that's not “”“taking responsibility”“” for it #so there's that like. self-hating aspect to not wanting to change it but then emotionally he also! loves peter as his son! #that relationship is super important to him! he doesn't want their romance to overshadow or subvert their familial one! #even if it was just an in-bed thing he doesn't want to deny their father-son bond out of a genuine emotional attachment to it either #so obviously the conflict there is that they CAN'T have a genuinely equal romance while they're both clinging to the familial tie as well #but while peter can feel the strain he's too young to realize how significant it is #and tony kkkknows but doesn't think the relationship will last long enough to justify jettisoning their father-son dynamic in favor of it #woof. big question!!!

[skrunksthatwunk]

just put my snake in his newly refurbished enclosure and he's doing laps <333

#i love him sm #he's the one i have anxious pet neglect dreams about and im just glad i finally put his new shit in #lotsa thick aspen to dig in and a bigger water bowl bc hes a grown man and a new hide etc etc #my beautiful beautiful boyyyyy #well the anxious pet neglect dreams aren't About him so much as they started when i got him #they usually involve me suddenly getting like 8 new pets that i dont have the spoons or knowledge for so im always letting them down #not my favorite experiences not my most pleasant dreams #but he's zoomin!!!! hes been pretty stationary lately and i think some of thats him getting older but i think the new stuff'll help make him #more comfy regardless #plus the water bowl's big enough that he can soak in it now if he wants :3 #he'll probably go back to just kinda sittin soon bc he's getting near a shed #poor guy cant see all that well rn and thats never a fun time to take him outta the tank. i feel bad :( #ooh he's up in the hammock hehe #thats the last thing he hasnt checked out yry #he likes that thing but its suction cups arent great #omg hes so sillyyyyy hehehhehe #baby man. baby. boyo

[keirawantstocry]

.

#i have multiple discord servers for vent shit but unfortanely my sister is on all of them and i dont wanna bother her so #yeah everyone ignore this i just need to fucking explode #my mother is pissing me off so fucking much rn #she never shuts the fuck up #only cares about her own damn fucking problems #shes going on about how she cant find a book and she needs my help and im like mom #i just spilled water on my laptop can you stfu #and you know what she fucking says? #well maybe if you didnt always hide in your room with your computer #first of all im a fucking adult and istg once i have enough money im blowing this fucking stand in a heartbeat #and second of al #I WAS OUTSIDE #BECAUSE FOR ONCE IN MY FUCKING LIFE I WAS TRYING TO GET SOME FRESH AIR #IM SICK OF BEING INSIDE #BUT WHEN I GO OUTSIDE SHE CAN COME TO ME WHICH I HATE MORE #so i try to go outside for once and what does it fucking get me #well the fucking water on my computer and audio issues #which thank God i fixed but ugh am i still pissed the fuck off #and my fucking “best friend” can barely give me the fucking time of day #leaves me on delivered for days at a time #and then straight up ignores my questions and wont fucking talk to me #but oh they'll call me randomly if they need my help #like is that all i fucking am to you? #UGH #trying to breathe #im going to put on headphones and writing gay fanfiction that always cheers me up

[nyupuun]

i felt a bit bad because people kept tagging ancient pixie dragon as ancient fairy dragon... so I doodled both of my yaoi-handed blue noodles.

#“uhm akshually her name is fairy dragon - ancient in the manga so its not wrong :nerd: :point_up:” #AND UR RIGHT!!! but I still interpret them as different spirits. #But its like. hard to explain. like they would be in different dimensions of the duel monster spirit world #its like how stardust spark dragon is TECHNICALLY stardust dragon but i interpret her differently from anime stardust dragon #(or tcg/ocg stardust dragon) #simply because im delusional and like to imagine the duel dragons are characterized differently #<- said about beings that hold barely any character to begin with #but also kinda not true because the duel dragons are from ultimaya tzolking like how the signer dragons serve the crimson dragon and theyre #opposing forces yadayada #well you get what i mean.... i hope #sorry im autistic and dragons and yugioh are my special interests can you tell yet? #anyways ancient pixie dragon i view as somewhat of a scary little dragon who hides in the ancient forests #and just straight up kills people that disturb it #kinda like ancient fairy dragon in episod e 19 (almost) #well anyways enough rambled i seem insane i shared too much leave a like comment and subscribe :thumbs_up: #long tags #random ramble #yugioh #yugioh tcg #doodle #barely counts but WHATEVERRRRR #sorry oh my god im so embarrassed. #if anyone wants to talk about their hyperspecific yugioh duel monster spirit characterization #thoughts on dragons or whatsoever #My inbox is open and i am starving #or dms #or anything #plsss /j