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#not everything is about oh he's not hot so you clearly cant have any other reasons jesus condescending much
glorified-red · 1 year
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how do you make your writing do poetic? Cause I see my writing and I’m like what is this hot garbage compared to your brilliance?
Here's literally all the top writing advice I've learned in the past two-ish years because I assure you, my writing was also hot garbage, but hot garbage is still smokin hot bbbyy so dont give up
(brief mentions of smut in passing):
Honestly a lot of it comes down to Quantity > Quality and its not something I talk about very often on here. When I first started writing, I posted almost everyday, if not multiple times a week, consistently. I was writing headcanons of anything I could think of and stupid stories I saw on TikTok, I was answering requests the second they got in my inbox.
How I did it? I just wrote. I didn't think about it.
I was writing because it was fun, not because I wanted the writing itself to be good, I just wanted it to be (insert encanto song here). Some of my older fics are terrible, I reread some of the content and I cant make it past the first few paragraphs without cringing, Ive even considered deleting some or completely revising them because of it.
But that'd defeat the point.
I keep those fics (as terrible as they are) so you guys can see that I too, used to suck at writing. I didn't know what a hyphen was or an em dash, let alone an en dash. I didn't know how to properly punctuate AT ALL (future me, an english major, literally dies inside).
I focused a lot on dialogue when I started out, was it OOC? Probably. Did I care? Fuck no. I wrote anything because the more I wrote the better I got.
Unfortunetly overtime I became obssesed with the Quality of my work and since then I've written very little in comparison (rip my inbox being open to requests lmao). Has the quality gone up? Hell yea. But has my motivation and insecurities suffered? Oh fuck yea.
I focused so much on making my narration more poetic that my dialogue talent suffered tremendously. Which is why I'm trying to get back into more random, silly one shots because goddamit quantity > quality.
And you can see this in Nightmare because that was the series where I started getting creative with prose, pacing, and narration. That series was written and is still being written for me and me only (yall get to see it as a little treat). Its my experiment baby where I throw words at the wall and pray they stick, I talk in metaphors and pray to god it makes sense.
Nightmare is my writing exercise journal basically, everything I learn from Nightmare goes into other fics.
You can easily see how much I've grown as a writer and how because Its just one big experiment. Have you read the beginning of that? It fucking sucks, but the last six chapters? Arguably some of my most poetic work.
Big Brother Intuition was the start of me taping into the emotional side of stories and telling a story through internal dialogue and letting everything else slip in between the lines. Again, it was an exercise. The sole purpose of that fic was to challenge myself to write from Tim's POV for the first time and to write something I myself, experienced and to translate feeling and emotions into legible words.
This is when I started to learn the best writing advice I've ever learned to date that I will scream at anyone who lets me proofread their work:
Show. Don't Tell.
This is huge in writing, especially if you want to write something poetic.
"He walked across the carpeted room."
"Static clung to his socks as they dragged across the carpeted room."
In the first line, you're telling the reader whats going on like youre reading from a powerpoint. In the second, you never actually specify that he is walking, but the reader can tell because you show it visually. They can picture it in their head clearly that not only is he walking, but his shoulders are probably slouched because hes dragging his feet.
Did I ever mention the posture of the character? Nope. Did I mention he's tired? Nope. But can you picture it in the subtext without any more information but that line? Yes (assuming you read into things like me but for the sake of argument just say yes).
(this is also where word connotation comes into play but thats a whole other rant)
The reader can vividly picture your story without you having to spell it out for them.
Now bear in mind, you also have to treat your readers like idiots (sorry not sorry guys).
I like to picture the brain as an empty room, a completely blank canvas. Your story should be vivid enough that by the end of it, the reader has the entire room filled with detail.
When you start writing, you plop your character into that empty room. But how is that character interacting with the environment if its just an empty room? Things only get added into the room if the character interacts with it. If the character doesnt, then you're just telling the reader what to imagine.
What's poetic about that?
If you don't describe the setting, your readers will be confused and won't be able to immerse themselves into the story because they'll be too busy trying to figure out where the door is instead of paying attention to anything else. But reading a long paragrpah describing the room in detail is so much more boring than if the character interacts with it themselves.
(Telling the reader theres a dresser by the bed instead of making the character plop their keys on the dresser before climbing into bed)
You have to specify everything your character is doing to the environment around them so the walls turn from white to red, the room suddenly has a bed in it, theres a dresser next to the bed that needs to be sanded down because the character felt a prick on their skin.
Little things like that make your story more entertaining.
Which starts with the five senses.
I did two Five Senses writing challenges ages ago as a way to get used to writing the senses solo, I highly recommend doing the same (in my masterlist :P). Whenever I write smut, pain, comfort, you name it, the only thing going through my head is "What are they feeling, what are they hearing, what are they smelling, etc"
If you can work with the senses, showing will be so much easier to do because senses is how you show things.
"She felt like she was going to cry."
"The rims of her eyes started to burn."
In the first one, youre telling the audience what shes feeling. In the second, youre showing it. The main difference is that I imagined what it feels like to start to cry (that burn) so I could use a more "poetic" approach but really, I'm just showing instead of telling. That's the difference between hot garbage and poetic writing.
I often like to overexplain things to my audience, I pretend that my readers know nothing before starting my fic, whether its a series or a simple oneshot. This way anyone can read any of my work regardless of if they know Damian has a fucking metal spine or not beause who knows niche stuff like that yk? Its a story, make it enjoyable to anyone because they dont need pre-existing knowledge.
Which brings me to THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT WRITING EVER.
Come here, this is your bread and butter okay?? This shit is what makes your writing glorious:
Whatever you do, do not make the reader hesitate.
If the person reading your work has to pause what theyre doing to reread a sentence because it doesnt make sense?
You've failed as a writer.
If the reader has to pause what theyre doing to look up a word because it doesnt make sense?
You've failed as a writer.
If the reader keeps losing their place in your story because its dragging?
You've failed as a writer.
Harsh? I know.
The entire point of writing is to tell a story well enough that the readers can fully immerse themselves into your story. If they hesitate for any reason, it breaks the immersion and suddenly that arent ✨reading✨ anymore, theyre R E A D I N G
It's boring.
Now this manifests in soooo many ways and I see it in every fic I've proofread. Assume your readers know nothing!!! I mean it!!! If youre detailed enough in your imagery, your reader will be able to imagine the story without having to readjust their visual (I'm looking at you smut writers, I have no clue what position they're in right now and I'm more confused than I am turned on).
I get bored if the paragraph is more than 4 sentences long because its intimidating to look at, its clunky and boring and it doesnt flow AT ALL. This is when readers skim your work to get to dialogue because dialogue is more easily digestible. (but please, make it obvious who's speaking because If I have to reread an entire convo just to figure out who's talking, you're done and Im moving onto the next fic)
Why? Because the punctuation is easy to digest.
Why do you think my paragraphs are so small? Why do you think my narration is sprinkled in between dialogue? Why do you think I switch between dialogue tags and actions?
So I dont lose reader interest (will I still lose some? oh duh, but not nearly as much as I would if I didn't do these things)
You cannot assume your readers know your story the same way you do, you have a specific picture in your head. Do they? Do they even know what they're supposed to be imagining right now?
And thats where the senses come in!!!
See? It all connects.
Do writing exercises, I promise, they actually work. I treat every fic as a writing exercise.
Self Care Day? Dialogue Training.
Exhaust and Exhaustion? Juggling Characters Training.
Petnames? Tense training.
The list goes on and I could explain it all in so much detail but I'll spare you the boredom.
TLDR:
Write anything and write a lot, even if its shitty, because the more you write the more experience you'll get.
Practice with sensory imagery.
Do writing exercises.
Be creative and visual instead of strict and bulletproof esque --- show, dont tell.
Treat your readers like they know nothing and treat them and their attention span like thats the holy grail.
Be creative and literally just have fun and I promise you will see so much growth in your writing.
Please let me know if yall want me to expand on this or to explain anything, my english major brain is literally hardwired for these types of discussions.
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So I might have a horny rambling? Of the NickAndTaylor kind. If you're interested, that is.
I was just thinking about Nick waking up horny already, subconsciously wanting to touch himself before he even opens his eyes, maybe even rolling his hips on the bed a little, intuitively looking for friction. Just when he is about to give in and jerk off, he gets interrupted by a phone call, and afterwards there is no time, he already has to leave.
He spends the entire day toeing the edge of horny and desperate. Tries to relieve some of the tension when he has like 15 minutes off between different interviews. He wants to starts slow, but he knows he has no time, so he goes for the efficient approach, stroking himself fast and firm, getting more and more desperate, but feeling incredible from the friction, feeling the pressure build up in his abdomen, but gets interrupted. He spends the next two hours doing press releases so desperate he can't think straight, all his thoughts going immediately to Taylor, because these days they always do, and that doesn't help with his predicament. If he had any brain cells left he would be really fucking concerned about his boner being obvious, tenting his pants in public and on camera, but it feels like all his blood has traveled south already, so his brain might not be working properly.
By the end of that press day he is so worked up he feels like a strong gust of wind could be his undoing. He is so desperate to get his hands - or anything - on himself that he genuinely needs to talk himself out of squirming for friction in the Uber he takes to his hotel.
When he finally gets there, thankfully without any embarrassing or downright mortifying incidents, his cheeks are red, his skin is flushed, his lips are bitten raw, and there are sweat buds already showing up on his forehead. He gets into his room, leans against the door with his eyes closed and lets out a sigh. He is just about to drop everything and put his hands into his pants when he realizes he is not alone in the room.
Turns out, today of all days, Taylor decided to surprise him with a visit, clearly happy to see him, already moving towards him with a hello, but Nick is so turned on, so utterly desperate, that the only response he graces Taylor with is an undignified whimper that stops Taylor in his tracks. He takes one look at Nick and slowly realizes what the problem is, it's not that hard to figure out with the way his pants are straining, the bulge visible even without looking too closely.
Taylor just goes: "Oh babe, did you really walk all the way here looking like that?" and Nick will forever deny the answering moan it elicits from him.
"You got yourself in quite a situation, now, didn't you?" he coos, stepping closer and putting his hands on Nick's waist and shoulder.
This is all it takes for Nick to all but throw himself at Taylor, hands on his back, pressed all the way into him. He hides his face into Taylor's neck, rolls his hips once, twice, three times and then he's coming with a moan loud enough Taylor is sure was heard by the people in the neighboring room. He holds Nick through it, runs one hand up and down his back, as he buries the other in Nick's hair, stroking lightly.
When Nick's shudders finally subside and his breathing returns to normal - that's when the embarrassment hits. He feels mortified by his own desperation, by the way he seemed enslaved by his own desire, by the fact that he didn't even offer Taylor a hello before he got off against him.
But Taylor can feel Nick tense up and already knows that he will be embarrassed about it so he decides that honesty is the best policy, so he leads with "God, that was so fucking hot."
***
Anyway. Had been thinking about this all day. Hope you like it. Good evening.
listen i put down my tea several times while i was reading this. i cant help but feel like this would lead to an edging kink. taylor being obsessed with seeing just how horny and desperate he can get nick, before nick just takes over, grinding on whatever he can to get off.
i think it would become a semi regular occurrence, taylor would love seeing it, because nick would make the most desperate expressions and noises. he'd get to the point where it took next to -nothing- to get him off. just looking at taylor. im sure at that point taylor would just employ a blindfold. blindfolding nick, tying him to the headboard, edging him to tears.
yeah, something like that. thanks for that anon. what a good way to start my fic writing day.
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allhailbrokeloose · 1 year
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My fandom Beliefs..
never quite understood why ppl need posts like this, but i think i get it now.. its mostly about kpts ofc but i decided to go through other fandoms as well while im at it.. so.. in order to avoid any further awkward interactions and unpleasant surprises here are my preferences and Opinions on controversial topics (that seem completely asinine, yet somehow garner strong opinions). may not correlate with what i post on the daily, but this holds more creditability lol. nothing is negotiable, everything is a subject to Revision bc 1) im unstable lol 2) the more you know..
KPTS: 100% apo, 20% jeff (yeah, i know, math aint mathing but wwyd its love) uhh.. so many sensitive topics, where do i start.. okay.. build: dont care, but some of his fans just happen to be Seriously Horrible vile ppl practicing double thinking like its a religion, so pls DNI jic mile: ,,,dont care,,, but some of his fans just happen to be Seriously Horrible vile ppl practicing double thinking like its a religion, so pls DNI jic (the irony of these two fandoms fighting sm isnt lost on me) bible: dont care, but some of his fans (ROSATURNS) just happen to be PRECIOUS RAYS OF SUNSHINE, SWEET CINNAMON BUNS, THE BESTEST PPL ON THE PLANET 💕 tong: oh boy.. i changed my opinion abt him three times.. hes a sneaky snake for sure, but i still like him, sue me 🤷‍♀️ ma and bbb fans: like unicorns, check your bias above the rest of the cast: dont care but i sorta like job bc hes toll and gives apo piggybacks lol. oh and annita is super hot and sprite is a queen ot16: yeah no, cmon, its bs, ppl cant even stan two ppl like they mean it you want them to stan 16 ppl at the same time 🙄 props for the effort ofc but even those who try have huge giant biases the size of an elephant family: yeah no its even bigger bs. you know how in commerce theres a rule that 80% of the profit is made by 20% of the products. hope the analogy is clear boc: well we have to give them credit for how kpts turned out, the problems begin when we try to identify the credit for what exactly. imo its adaptation of that trash of a novel + quality of the production, all the rest i attribute to the actors. while giving them credit for that its still clear to me that they are really bad at artist management and smm and are largely Unprofessional. you'll see me cheering on ppl hatin on boc, bc first of all its fun, and second of all i find this hate-hate relationship with the fandom quite beneficial for both parties. BUT like this topic is not hot for me, bc im not sure if any other company currently available in TH BL industry could have done any better. STILL i can see that ppl on tumblr for some reason like to defend boc even when they really really screw up big time, so if you feel the urge to defend them reading this pls DNI pond: dont really care, but his chase for fame is Amusing. and as a ceo all the companys pros and cons are largely on him kpwt: dont really care, if it sells it sells, they seem to be having fun with it. "but its cringe" - i dont think with these categories, if you do not like it, just dont watch it, like i havent seen 50% of it and im like content abt it the novel: its trash daemi: its trash shipping kimchi and/or jeffbarcode: not my cup of tea, but if it floats your boat go right ahead, im not the one to judge what i ship: kp (but its yk.. lukewarm), jeffbible (i honestly believe this is the only sincere rs in the cast regardless of its nature), apo with Happiness (regardless of its form) do i think my faves are perfect: well nope, clearly not, look at their frens cracking r*pe jks like they are being paid for it and we are only being shown the tip of that iceberg. i mean tell me whos your friend.. but i just think that my faves are better than yours 😎 bc yk jks abt age and bad habits (esp based ones) are just jks, jks abt r*pe are never just jks
YR: 97% omar rudberg, 3% malte gårdinger well im not that deep in other fandoms, so just some potentially controversial things off the top of my head wilmon endgame: well ig? otherwise what all of this was for? but honestly idc, if they decide to make it dramatically realistic i would understand second season: yeah no sorry i didnt like it, i watched it and i immediately forgot abt it. all i got out of it is that omar is super hot, which i already was aware abt. its sorta sad bc first season was lifechanging for me and also it was one of the few shows i have actually watched more than once . i will still wait for s03, but my expectations are low shipping edmar: not my thing, but generally its ok in my book if done respectfully (eg dont stalk dont send death threats dont let them see your sexual fantasies abt them etc) nurbo: uhh.. are they still 2gether? anyways idc what i ship: honestly nothing id like omar for myself lol (see there's no need to hate on his real and/or fictional partner in this situation). but omar+malte would be super hottt
TWN: 70% jaskier, 30% yennefer books: didnt read but like i Respect them and i understand that twn is a shit adaptation that missed everything that was possible to miss abt the books lauren: yeah i dont like her shes largely off putting geraskier: yeah i sorta ship it but i use the other half only as a shipping tool for jaskier, like you can replace it with anyone else, i wouldn't even notice (yeah, i know, the irony) blood origin: boring and unnecessary what i ship: geraskier and yennskier, which is groundbreaking bc i dont usually ship het, but its just so delicious honorable mention: you will see me randomly hatin on ciri, bc I JUST DONT LIKE HER LET ME BE
watcher: 50.95% shane, 49.05% ryan my toxic trait is believing that this fandom is drama free (pls forgive me this blissful ignorance) and the only controversial topic is shyan: yes i ship it baby. cmon i think the boys are also into it. in a fun way ofc, not a full on delulu mode. ofc i dont believe that they be casually fucking, but the thought is largely Entertaining. you know its there and if its there its there 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ once again no stalking, death threats, porn where they can see it, keeping it civil 😌
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8xwdc · 3 years
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constantly saying that everyone's opinions on drivers are only informed by their looks on the one f1 platform w mostly women isn't the progressive take u think it is!!!
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seita · 3 years
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— better than (m.)
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pairing : iwaizumi/reader
wordcount : 3.087
genre : fluff, smut, pwp
cw : college!au, athletic trainer!iwaizumi
tags : implied age gap (hes 27 reader is in college- age nkt specified. he's older tho), size kink, dom!iwa, pussy job (a lil bit), multiple orgasms, sensitivity kink (if u squint), squirting, fingering, creampie, aftercare.
note : this was just an excuse to write about how iwaizumi is better than any other boy <3 thank u to @toshisins for beta'ing this for me <3
+ summary : you're so tired of dumb college boys who hump and dump, with no stroke game, and can never even try to get you off. that is, until you meet 27 year old iwaizumi hajime.
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When you first met Iwaizumi Hajime at the bar near your college campus, you noticed how good looking he was. Well, that was an understatement - he was tall, fit with tanned skin and a confident aura that made you weak in the knees.
You hadn't actually had the courage to approach him, however. Instead, you let some college boy buy you a cheap drink and take you home for some mediocre sex before kicking you out after not even 15 minutes of his reckless humping.
The second time you met him was at the same place. He was sitting at the bar, nursing a glass of whiskey that was almost empty. His back was to you and it gave you a wonderful view of his broad shoulders.
The mediocre lay from the last time you had been there attempted to chat you up again with false confidence, as if he had been the best fuck of your life. Naturally, you weren't having any of his bullshit - he tried to rub your clit like a scratch and sniff, forcing you to pry his hand away from it, there was no chance in hell you were giving him another second of your time. He definitely wasn't the type of guy who took rejection well, if not evident by the way he exploded and went off calling you a wide, colorful variety of names paired with numerous hurtful insults that had tears of humiliation filling your eyes.
“Hey now,” a smooth, deep voice had interrupted his very public spiel, “Don’t punish the girl for your own short comings, if she doesn't wanna fuck you again, don't you think that says more about your abilities as a man?”
The other man sputtered, muttering even more curses before storming out - probably not wanting to tussle with a guy who looked like he benched every second of his day.
There was something about Iwaizumi that just immediately had your heart skipping a beat over him. He was kind, a gentleman, and never seemed desperate or overbearing. He was confident and comfortable with himself and where he was in life.
You quickly learned that Iwaizumi was 27, almost 28 and worked as an athletic trainer so he traveled a lot.
For a while, your relationship seemed one sided with him. You'd text him and he’d reply but he rarely ever actually reached out to you. You tried flirting with him, asking him out for drinks, but it never seemed to pull him in.
It was frustrating. In basically no time at all, you had developed a stupid puppy dog crush on him. You felt like a middle school girl with a crush on a high school senior - like he was never going to give you the time of day. You were simply too young for him.
You eventually stopped trying with him, choosing to delete your message thread with him and continued on with your life.
You went through more college-boy hookups - all of them ending in disaster. Quite frankly, you were fed up with mediocre cock and being treated like shit when they were done with you. It wasn't a nice feeling, being kicked out after they didn't even bother trying to make you cum.
You couldn’t help but wonder what Iwaizumi would be like in bed. He was just so attractive, you knew he had gotten his dick wet more times than he could count. He definitely seemed the type who preferred relationships over hookups.
That's when it occurred to you.
You pulled out your phone and scoured your contacts. It had been a couple weeks since you spoke but you couldn't resist bugging him just one last time. You opened a new message thread with him and quickly typed the question that was now plaguing your mind.
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
It was the question that had changed the course of your relationship with him.
When you asked, it was like everything fell into place. Perhaps it finally relayed to him the interest you had. All that really mattered was the fact he suddenly began talking to you, starting conversations and even venturing into phone calls with you.
You lost all interest in those college boys you once hung out with and went home with to get laid. None of them made you feel the way Iwaizumi could with a simple text message. He was everything a girl could ask for and you were shocked he was single.
Which was why you were quick to ask him on a date, not caring if it made you look desperate -- you practically were. You would be damned if he went off the market while you were busy beating around the bush.
Going on a date with Iwaizumi was like a dream. You were so used to dates at sleazy bars for a couple of drinks just so they could hurry up and take you home for a quick fuck.
Iwaizumi took the time to take you on several dates -- dinner, movies, walks around town to obscure shops he thought you might like, before it finally led to the bedroom.
You had never been nervous with sex but with Iwaizumi it was different. The routine was dumb college boys who usually fawned over your tits for a few minutes before their hard ons became the center of their brain function.
You found yourself completely bare on his bed as he stood at the foot, fully clothed. The way his eyes raked across your body like a lion eyeing its next, delicious meal had you curling in on yourself shyly.
His lips quirked up as your arms came across your breasts, shielding them from his predatory gaze, “Oh now, you know better than that, don’t you? What kind of good girl hides herself, hm? Acted so eager for my cock all this time, now you wanna be shy?”
You gasp, cheeks flushing hot as you register his words -- he’d known you wanted him that badly all this time?
He clicks his tongue, “You didn’t think you were subtle did you? Bet you would have done anything to get your paws on my dick when I got off work early the other day, hm? Showed up at your apartment...you were starin’ real hard at me, I’m right aren’t I?”
You think that to that day, lashes fluttering against your cheeks at the memory. He was wearing loose gray sweats and a muscle tank top that showed his biceps flexing with every movement he made. Your eyes had immediately been drawn, however more down to his crotch instead. Where you could clearly see the outline of his cock through the material.
You had stuffed your little fingers in your cunt for hours that night, thinking about how big he looked -- even soft, couldn’t imagine if he was hard.
“Ah, there you go again,” he muses, snapping you out of your haze, “Maybe if you ask real pretty for me, I’ll give you just what you want.”
“Please,” you immediately gasp, “Want you so much Hajime, i-it hurts. Can’t stop thinkin’ about you…”
“It hurts?” he huffs, finally reaching up to pull his shirt off, leaving you to ogle his pecs and defined abs, which flex as he works on removing his jeans, “Needy little cunt hurts ‘cause you don’t have a nice, fat cock stuffing it full? Such a dramatic little baby. I just know your phone is full of some little college boys’ numbers...why don’t you give them a call?”
You shake your head, “Don’t want them! I just know they’re not as good as you, Hajime, please...please make me cum, I'll do anything?”
“Aw, those idiot little boys don’t know how to make a pretty girl like you cum, is that it?” he asks, climbing onto the bed, making the mattress dip beneath you as he slots himself between your thighs.
“No,” you pout, letting him spread your legs, hands under your knees to open you up to his greedy gaze.
“So compliant with me, you just need a real man to get you off, huh?” he smiles when you nod, “Don’t worry, I’ll take real good care of you.”
Oh, you knew. Just from the way he moved his hips against yours, parting your folds so the head of his cock glided from your clenching little hole, dragging your slick up to your clit -- you just knew that he knew what he was doing.
As you looked between your legs, you felt yourself gush at the sight. His cock was so big, long and fat, drooling precum over your slick little slit, making a mess. He wrapped his fist around his length, making you whimper as his fingers couldn’t even wrap around the girth of him. He slapped his cock against your cunt, groaning at the strings of your slick that clung to him.
“Such a messy cunt,” he sighs, making sure to spank your clit with the head of his cock, laughing breathlessly when your thighs jumped in response to the sudden stimulation, “So fucking eager for me, aren’t you?”
“Uhuh,” you sigh, arching your hips, “Want you to fuck, please, Hajime, need it so bad.”
Much to your dismay, he shakes his head, “Can’t just put it in, pretty baby,” the pet name makes you whimper, “It’ll hurt too much, want you to feel good, yeah?”
“I can handle it,” you breathlessly reassure, canting his hips upward once more to drag your clit against that ridge on the crown of his cock, “Jus’ put it in…”
He doesn’t respond this time but still makes no move to put his cock inside. You’re distracted, however, by the way he now focuses on playing with your clit. Using his cock, he drags the underside across the hard little bud, slaps it once with the tip and before you know it your body is seizing up and you cum.
You let out a string of curses, falling limp against the bed as he works you through the quick high.
“See, that was so easy,” he chuckles, “Those stupid little boys you’ve been letting screw you have no idea what they’re doing, do they? Little cunts so sensitive, I barely even had to do anything to make you cum.”
You’re still trembling when you come down, licking your lips as you give him a dopey little smile and a nod at his cooing. He can’t resist leaning down, and pressing his lips against yours almost desperately. You wrap your arms around his neck, holding him in a deep kiss while his hand finds its way between your legs, two fingers sliding easily into your slick little cunt.
You moan into his mouth, “Hajime ah! ...please, make me cum again.”
“Fuck, you’re so desperate for me,” he hisses through his teeth, “Clenching around my fingers so tight. If I crook my fingers...right here...I bet you’ll just…”
As if on cue, his fingertips hook on your g-spot and you squeal, legs kicking out as you gush around his fingers. He bites his lip and continues to fuck his fingers against that spot, watching your eyes roll back, mouth falling open in a silent cry as you cum for the second time in mere minutes.
“Y-You’re so good, Hajime…” you praise softly, “Fuck, please, give me your cock now!”
He laughs and sits up properly again, pulling his fingers from your cunt. He examines them for a second, slick with your cum and streaks of cream covering the digits before he pops them into his mouth with a moan, savoring the taste of you.
“Alright, baby,” he sighs after pulling out his fingers with a pop!. He grips you beneath the knees again and scoots closer until his tip prods at your entrance. You shudder at the feeling, “Relax for me, pretty girl, let me in…”
Iwaizumi begins pushing in, letting out a soft groan as the head finally buries itself in your cunt. You squeal at the feeling, pulling your knees closer to your chest. The sound of you moaning and whimpering just from his head has him throbbing almost painfully against your tender cunt.
“Almost there…” he huffs, grinning at the sight of your eyes rolling back, “Ah, does that feel good?”
“Yes!” you cry out, “Biggest cock I’ve ever had…’s full…”
“Yeah, baby? It feels so good to finally get your cunt filled with a nice, big cock huh?” he laughs when you nod eagerly, “It’s alright, baby. You won’t have to deal with any mediocre college boys anymore, yeah? This cock’s all yours now…you hear that? All yours.”
Your hand flies down between your legs, finding your clit. He watches with lidded eyes as you circle the little bud and squeal, keeping his hips still to let you cum around his cock nice and hard like you need.
“That’s it, pretty girl,” he hums, “Get yourself off, you know what you need...atta girl…”
You sigh happily at his praise, licking your lips and relax against the bed once more. He takes that as his hint that you were ready, pulling his hips back before roughly slamming back inside your sensitive cunt. It knocks the air from your lungs and you cry out, unable to hold back your noises as he fucks you senseless.
He uses his strength to keep you pinned, forcing your knees against your chest, leaving your cunt open and vulnerable to his pistoning cock. Iwaizumi is so big that the stretch burns every time he sinks back into you, the tip touching your cervix with every calculated thrust, making your entire body ache with the deep pain of it.
But it all feels so good, you’d never been fucked like that before. He knew exactly where to aim his cock, keeping his eyes fixed on your face to watch your reactions, gaze flicking down to where his cock stuffs your cunt full to watch you coat him in your cream whenever he grazes that sweet little spot deep inside you -- a spot no other man had ever tried to find before.
“Feel good?” he questions, though he knew the answer even before you cry it out.
“Ah, yes! Yes, yes, yes!” you sob, “I-It feels so good, Hajime! Fuck, you’re so good at fucking me! You make me feel like a virgin all over again!”
He grins, “Yeah, I know I am, baby.”
His cocky, confident response would have been a turn off with any other man, but with him -- it only made you moan. He had every right to be cocky, he knew just how to use his cock and it was exhilarating.
“You gotta cum again for me, pretty,” he pants, “Cum again, one more time, let go.”
Your throat burns from how much you scream for him, the messy noises coming from him fucking your sloppy cunt should be embarrassing -- you’ve never made such a mess before. You’ve never been so wet, creaming and gushing all the way down his balls.
He didn’t seem to mind, instead he seemed to only be turned on by it.
“I want you to squirt, can you do that for me? Make a pretty mess for me.”
You shake your head, “D-Don’t know how...Can’t.”
“Yes you can, baby,” he purrs, “I can make you, you know that I will.”
You didn’t but, you couldn’t help but nod -- immediately believing him and trusting him. He shifts his knees just slightly, changing his center of balance before his palm curls over your pubic bone, thumb effortlessly finding itself pressed against your clit.
The change in angle lets him hit your g-spot even more brutal than before. You’re immediately arching and crying out for him, eyes rolling back into your head as you feel your orgasm slam into you faster than you’d ever experienced.
Instead of slowing you down, he works you through it, keeping the same, animalistic pace and keeps his thumb pressed against your clit, the rough pad of his thumb has you ogling. If anything, the calloused hands of Iwaizumi proves to you how much of a real man he is, those college boys have nothing on him.
“Give it to me, c’mon,” he urges, clenching his teeth together from the effort it takes to keep going to this hard and fast pace.
“H-Haji…” you cut yourself off as you feel yourself get thrown over the edge again. This time, something feels different and you can’t help but sob, “Please! I-I’m gonna-!”
“That’s it, fuck!” he moans, pace stuttering when you squirt -- your cum splashing against his abs as you shudder and squeal, “Good fuckin’ girl, my good girl. Shit, where do you want me to cum?”
“I-Inside! Fuck, please! I need your cum!” you immediately sob, nails biting in his biceps where you reach out to grip him -- trembling and crying from overstimulation as he works towards his own high.
“You sure? Shit,” you nod, breathless pleas falling from your lips as he finally stills, spilling his load deep inside with a long, drawn-out groan.
Everything is still for a moment and then he’s pulling out with a hiss. You whine at the feeling of your cunt gaping, yearning for his cock again, as his cum leaks out.
He hums, “Sorry about that, let me get you cleaned up.”
You sigh, and close your eyes, trying to relax and let your body settle its trembling. He comes back and quietly works on cleaning the mess between your thighs.
“Alright, up you go,” he sighs, taking your arm and helping you to your feet. You whine and wobble for a second, making him laugh, “You good?”
“Y-Yeah…” you stumble a bit and lean against his dresser, looking for your discarded clothes.
He has his back to you as he strips his sheets. Suddenly, you feel shut out -- like you shouldn’t be there anymore.
He brushes past you to his closet, pulling out some fresh sheets. You feel silly, standing there naked while he gets ready for bed. You bend down and grab your panties, clumsily putting them on before moving to pick up your dress, where it’s crumpled on the floor.
“What’re you doing?” he laughs, “That won’t be comfortable to sleep in.”
“Huh?” you tilt your head to the side and he pauses fluffing his pillows.
“What...you didn’t think I was kicking you out, did you?” he asks and scoffs at the face you make.
“Well I...usually I…” you shift on your feet nervously and he frowns, walking up to you.
He cups your cheeks and makes you look at him, “Jesus, who have you been fucking?” he laughs and gently nudges you towards the bed, “Lay down before you fall over.”
Fighting back a smile, you do as you’re told and sit on the bed, watching as he puts on a fresh pair of sweats, waiting for him to join you. When he does, he immediately pulls you into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
“Take a nap, and then we’ll take a shower.”
“It’s 11 at night, it wouldn’t be a nap,” you counter with a giggle.
“Well,” he sighs, “Take a shower in the morning then, and then we can go get breakfast, yeah?”
You smile and relax against him, “Sounds good.”
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gale-gentlepenguin · 2 years
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Gale Poorly explains "Kuro Neko"
Adrien: I suck and shouldnt be chat noir
Plagg: Cheese metaphor about value.
(depressed transformation)
Chat noir: I am here to help even though i am too late. Please Let me do something useful, I could use a win
Ladybug: Nah we handled everything perfectly already, Just chill.
Chat noir: Please
Ladybug: Expression that is poorly worded that you misunderstand as being replacable
Chat noir: (Angry) You can find yourself a new cat!
Ladybug: (doesnt realize what he is saying) Sounds good!
One minute later
Ladybug: WAIT NO!
(But he was gone)
Plagg: Cheese metaphor that perfectly explains how Ladybug f***ed it up.
Ladybug: Lol Plagg like cheese
Plagg: (Mental screams)
Ladybug: Clearly I need new kitty without any emotional attachment
Plagg: WTF NO!
OTHER KWAMI: NO!
TIKKI: F***ING S*** Marinette
Adrien: (Violins play to express sadness)
Marinette: (PEPE SILVIA MEME) BUT HOW DO I CHAT NOIR THOUGH?
Plagg: I have an idea. Tikki, You just need to smile while I blatantly lie to the guardian.
Tikki: I can only see this going horribly wrong
Plagg: There is another cat boy I can go to. He is uber sexy and competent
Marinette: I dont know. Tikki is this true.
Tikki: (Smiling and nodding)
Marinette: Well I unquestioningly believe you.
(Meanwhile at the violin concert)
Plagg: Adrien! I know how you can get ladybug to fall for you.
Adrien: Plagg, cant you see I am speed running depression?
Plagg: But you can alter your costume and we can practice poses?
Adrien: Oh damn I am game.
(Cue training montage)
Ladybug: I feel like Plagg may have been lying
Chat Walker: Hello Ladybug. I am Chat walker and You will fall in love with me.
Ladybug: I doubt that.
(CUE GIANT CAT MONSTER)
Ladybug: OMG ITS CHAT NOIR! HE IS CLEARLY HEARTBROKEN OVER THE WHOLE SITUATION. CHAT NOIR I AM SORRY. PLEASE COME BACK TO ME KITTY.
Chat walker: (is actually chat noir) You might be wrong on that.
Shadowmoth: What the f*** is the girl on? Kuro neko kick their asses
(The cat monster proceeds to kick their asses)
Ladybug: So the cat monster isnt chat noir.
Chat walker: Dont worry Ladybug, I am here to help you. And clearly you are emotionally vulnerable and this sentence will cause you to start thirsting for me.
Ladybug: Oh no you are hot.
(Cue Ladybug simping for a few minutes)
Ladybug: Lucky charm
Chat walker: So whats the plan with that long sheet that can fit two people on it
(Vision focuses)
Ladybug: (Biting her lip) I might have an idea... But lets try something else.
(The lucky charm doesnt work)
Chat walker: Well it is a sentimonster, I am gonna go recharge.
Ladybug: (suddenly a plan forms as soon as he leaves) Oh... this is a problem
Chat Walker: Im back.
Ladybug: I have plan... but you need to not be here.
Chat Walker: Okay cool.
Ladybug: Wait you arent bummed?
Chat Walker: The mission matters.
Ladybug: I miss my actual kitty.
(So Ladybug gets the cat monster to spit out the child)
Girl: I wont break bank. Money for my kitty who I lost.
Ladybug: (Who is missing Chat noir) I RELATE TO YOU SMALL CHILD!
Girl: I instantly believe you
(The day is saved)
Ladybug: Im sorry Chat walker. You are too sexy... I mean you and I just cant work well together. You need to hand back the cat miraculous to the old chat noir.
Chat Walker: Okay cool. Later Ladybug
________________________________________________
Adrien: Well that failed
Plagg: Nah that is perfect.
Adrien: But will I be me again? Is Chat noir really me.
Plagg: Get that true selves bullsh*t out of here. Its current year
Adrien: Whoa.
Plagg: Now go talk to ladybug
___________________________________________________
Chat noir: Sorry I rage quit. Even if you dont always need me. I should just be cool about it.
Ladybug: Get off your bulls***. I will always need you. Even if you arent 'needed' you are NEEDED.
Chat noir: Okay cool.
Ladybug: The f*** you doing sitting so far, scoot those cheeks over here
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thebluespirit83 · 3 years
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debunking pro-snape/anti-james arguments and putting it on the internet because clearly i hate myself. buckle up. this is gonna be a VERY long post. im ready for the amount of hate i will get; im willing to take one for the team. 
1. james forced lily into dating/marrying/etc him 
this literally never happened? because its almost as if lily is her own person who is able to stand up for herself-
“I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,” said Lily.
“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.
She turned on her heel and hurried away [from james]. 
-and so she would not allow someone to walk all over her. its almost as if james (canonically) matured as a person, and she appreciated this, realised he was a good person and got feelings for him? because james’ only negative traits were that he was conceited and a show off. people are able to mature and grow from these things! james did this! he did not ‘force’ lily to go out with him!
2. james and the other marauders bullied snape
you know what, i cant even disagree with this one. you’re right - they did bully him. but lets look a little bit at the context. 
sirius and james were both upper class, naive white rich boys. they are idiots. they were both stupid smart teenagers!! they were popular! and while this does not excuse the gross bullying snape was subject to-
Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape’s mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him
Several people watching laughed; Snape was clearly unpopular ... Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.
-it (unfortunately) makes sense with context. james and sirius also stopped bullying people, and even expressed discomfort/regret with the way they acted-
“I’m not proud of it,” said Sirius quickly.
“Of course he was a bit of an idiot!” said Sirius bracingly, “we were all idiots!
[sirius talking to remus] you made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes
A lot of people are idiots at the age of fifteen. He grew out of it.
-when they were younger! i’d also like to point out these little lines i noticed when i was finding quotes for my argument which snape stans like to ignore:
James and Snape hated each other from the moment they set eyes on each other
I mean, he [snape] never lost an opportunity to curse James
there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James’s face, spattering his robes with blood
wow, look at that. the hate they felt for each other was mutual! snape also jinxed james! but oh wait - james was the one who matured! snape was the one who bullied his son twenty years later because he looked like james! 
3. snape didnt abuse the kids at hogwarts 
here’s a real argument i saw when looking through some pro-snape posts: ‘snape wasn’t an abuser, because abusers don’t let their victims retaliate, but snape did let the kids talk back to him’
what. the. fuck?! 
this is the dictionary.com definition of abuse: ‘to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way’ or ‘to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about’. i’m pretty sure snape did both of these things-
“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!”
“So,” said Snape, gripping Harry’s arm so tightly Harry’s hand was starting to feel numb.
Snape threw Harry from him with all his might.
[hermione’s teeth]  "I see no difference."
‘Idiot boy!’ snarled Snape [at neville]
-on multiple occasions. i’d also like to remind you guys that neville’s worst fear is SNAPE?! his TEACHER, a figure that is supposed to be there for emotional and educational support is his worst fear in this entire world?! above the woman who drove his parents to insanity? over failure, over his abusive grandmother, over everything? his teacher? and for the pro-snaper that used this quote-
Nearly everyone laughed. Even Neville grinned apologetically.
-to claim that it was a joke, it isn’t a joke. because when snape came out of that cupboard, he was terrified. yes, it’s an embarrassing thing to have as your boggart, but the point is is that it is. he is terrified of that man. 
4. james only joined the order because his wife was a muggleborn and he ‘had to’
this is just factually incorrect. james had been sticking up for muggleborn rights since he was in school, far before he started dating or even became friends with lily: 
“Apologize to Evans!” James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.
“I’d NEVER call you a - you-know-what!”
so this is literally not true!! plus, at least he did join the order, whatever his reasons where (which were canonically good). snape didnt join the order. snape was friends with someone who suffered discrimination in society, and instead of using his privilege to help her and support her, he joined a group that was set on murdering people like her. when james had a friend who underwent oppression (remus/lycanthropy) you know what he did? he illegally became an animagus. 
5. snape had to be a death eater to survive at hogwarts as he roomed with blood supremacists
this is the shittiest excuse i have ever seen in my entire life. as a poc, this comment really reminds me of the argument ‘i was raised in a racist white household! i cant control my beliefs!’
you can always control your beliefs. i understand not going on big rants about blood inequality in front of a bunch of supremacists, and i understand wanting to blend and fit in (especially because he was unpopular and needed the support the slytherin boys provided), but i will never understand then becoming an active member of the group yourself. he got the dark mark. he helped voldemort. he was a death eater, and a proud one at that! no-one forced him to join. this argument literally makes my blood boil. 
6. snape had a lot of trauma from being raised in an abusive household
okay? so did sirius. so did neville. luna was bullied at school, just like snape. harry lived in an abusive household. did any of those people bully children? did any of those people join a blood supremacist group? and dont get me wrong, im not calling any of these people perfect - they all had a lot of flaws - but none of them hurt another people to the extreme that snape did. 
7. snape saved the trio’s lives many times
this is the absolute bare minimum. ‘oh wow, he didnt let harry die!! what a king! he should be respected and praised! we should excuse all of his other actions because he didnt let people die <3′ 
8. snape is not a perfect person, he also did good that many people overlook
you’re right, snape did do some good things in his life. but unfortunately, for me and many others, doing a couple of good things doesnt excuse all of the shitty, abusive things he did too. we’re not ignoring them - we just dont think they’re good enough reasons to forgive him. 
‘but james and sirius hurt others! you ignore all the bad things they did in favour of the good!’ you do the same thing with snape, first of all. second, they did a lot of good stuff. james’ and sirius’ only crimes were being annoying. for being a bit of a dick, conceited, knew they were hot and were a bit entitled. while these things are annoying as fuck, they were also stupid teens that eventually grew out of their behaviour and became better people. not perfect! better. while snape just stayed bitter at the marauders, long after their deaths, and even took his anger out on an innocent child. 
9. people only hate snape because he was poc and queer coded
as a poc and queer person, please stop. this is a very bad excuse. being poc and queer (which im pretty sure he isnt, but anyway) doesnt excuse you from your actions. plus, a huge amount of harry potter readers are poc and lgbtq. why would they hate snape for those reasons?! 
so thats all i got for today. im not gonna go into a deep snily/jily thing because i literally cannot be bothered. anyway im done. i need to go revise, i’ve already spent long enough on this. 
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boldlyvoid · 3 years
Text
36 Questions to Fall in Love
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Summary: When Derek bets Spencer that he cant make someone fall in love with him in a week, he doesn’t expect Spencer to marry the girl the next day
warnings: strangers to lovers, blind dates, betting, talks of: drug use, drug addiction, abusive marriages, rape, sexual assault, abuse, attempted murder, mass shootings, parental death, love confessions, elopements, opposite of slow burn
word count: 8K
A/N: this is based on a request I received a while back about this article
Derek was a betting man, to say the least. He knew Spencer was from Vegas, he also knew Emily couldn’t say no to a challenge and that Rossi had enough money to burn. Betting at work was the best way to have fun when he worked there, and now he can’t stop.
“I’m not saying con a woman into loving you, I’m saying let us find a girl and let’s see if she can fall in love with you, take a week off from work and just spend time wooing her, and in a week, me or Emily will hit on her, if she turns us down for you, then you’ve won.”
Derek explained it like it was simple, and yet the mere thought of being set up with someone was horrifyingly nerve-wracking. But he got Spencer to agree… unbeknown to him that he had another bet going on the side.
You see earlier that day he was invited to Penelope’s apartment, her younger sister was moving in for a little while and they needed a big strong man to help move the boxes. And like Penelope, Y/N was really chatty and overly friendly really fast. It was like he’s always known Y/N Garcia.
She explained to Derek how hard it was in California to find good men who want someone to love them, she’s tired of guys thinking she comes on too fast, she wants someone who wants to settle and have kids and be a dad. Not a Vain narcissist who only cares about what the city can offer him.
“The last guy I went on a date with literally ran when I mentioned I read a New York Times article about 36 questions to make you fall in love… I just want a person to love? Is that really so hard?”
A lightbulb goes off in Derek’s mind, and Penelope almost reads it.
“Spencer.” They both reply with the same cheeky grin.
“I bet you, you could be as insane as you say you are and he’d still be in love with you by the end of the week.” Derek teases, and the way she smiles shows just how interested she is.
Woo her.
The words have rattled around in his brain every second of every moment since Derek said he found a girl for him.
She was free on Saturday, all Spencer had to do was tell Derek where she should meet him and all Penelope had to do was not mention to Spencer that she had a sister, it was up to Y/N when Spencer learned that fact.
She’s already there at the restaurant when he arrives, he’s not sure what he was expecting when Derek said he found the perfect girl but it wasn’t this. He was thinking it was going to be a joke, that either no one would show or Derek was hooking him up with some hot blonde who was way out of his league.
She was beautiful in a nice dress, her makeup was stunning and she looked so content sitting there, waiting for him. Starring her ice water with a straw, she wasn’t paying any attention to the room, she barely knew he was there.
“Hi?” He said softly, not wanting to startle her.
“Hi,” she beamed up at him, that same unsure look on her face. Neither of them was expecting anything from the other, but they were pleasantly surprised.
“Spencer Reid,” he says, actually extending a hand to shake her’s because it’s the chivalrous thing to do.
She reaches out her hand, watching him take it and kiss her knuckle softly, she’s so surprised. “Oh, um, Y/N Garcia,” she whispers the name and his eyes go wide.
“Garcia?” He panics a little, sitting down in the booth and facing her as her face drops at his reaction.
“Did he not tell you I’m Penelope’s sister? I knew Derek was up to something,” she looked like it was all too good to be true, upset almost.
“He didn’t, he probably wanted you to tell me, I mean this all so we can get to know each other,” Spencer shrugs it off, interested in seeing why Derek picked her of all people.
“I guess,” she smiled again, “so what do you do?”
“I work with Penelope, I specialize more in psycho-linguistics and geographical profiling.”
She nods in approval, “I’m a high school English teacher.”
Spencer laughs lightly, “what’s that like?”
“Interesting to say the least, especially in California. Every kid there wants to be on TikTok, no one cares about reading any of the books I ask them too,” she just shakes her head. “I’m worried about the next generation.”
“Me too, it’s almost alarming how many kids are unsubs,” he agrees. She’s so easy to talk to, he’s suddenly not nervous anymore and the waiter is coming to take their order.
He never even opened the menu, “what looks good?” He asks Y/N, nervous and she can tell.
“I think I’m going to have the lobster, let’s go all out?” She shrugged again, both of them feeling more adventurous than normal.
“I’ll have that as well,” Spencer smiled, keeping eye contact with only her as she handed the menus back to him.
They ordered sides and appetizers, stuffed mushrooms and fresh bread, it was amazing. They traded small facts about each other, Spencer noticed a lot of Penelope’s quirks in her, she was very friendly and kind and funny. She loved to tease him and make him laugh, his stomach hurt by the time their lobsters came out.
“I’ve never done this before,” she admits, putting on her bib and holding the claw cracker in one hand.
“Neither have I, but I think it’s fairly simple you just need to apply the correct amount of pressure,” he demonstrates by picking up the crustacean and cracking it at its weakest point before twisting it open.
He’s surprised he did it, so is she as she copies is movements and struggles a bit. “You got it, come on,” he encourages her as she squeezed so hard her hands shake but the shell does eventually crack.
She smiles like she just won the science fair, overly proud as they stare at each other. Enamoured already by just how cute the other was.
“So, what do you do for fun outside being a fed?” She teases between bites.
“I like to spend my time finding new things, I tend to go to the same spots often but I’m always looking for new places. I like the theatre, the old cemetery is nice, I’m excited for the new phantasmagoria to open this fall,” he explains all his interests as he cracks away at his dinner. “I just like to try and appreciate what’s out there, after everything I see.”
“That’s really nice, I’ve always wanted to go to a phantasmagoria actually, science magic is the best kind of magic,” she says it like it’s nothing, almost embarrassed by the interest.
“Me too, I love magic,” Spencer lights up, “I can actually do some magic, hold on.”
He digs his NA chip out of his pocket, showing it to her quickly before making it disappear and reappear behind her ear and she was so smitten, “how the heck?” She asked as she reached for her own ear, shocked at the fact he could do it.
“Do you always keep a coin on you for that?”
He thinks about it for a second, not knowing if he should tell her or not. “No, I keep this on me for support.”
He places it on the table, she picks it up instead and inspects it carefully, “2 years is a really long time, I’m really proud of you.”
He feels like he falls in love with her in that moment, she places the chip back in his hand and smiles, “it’s not easy to admit nor recover from, it’s something you should be really proud of Spencer.”
“Thank you,” he blushes, “um, is there anything else you want to know about me?”
She bites the inside of her lip as she thinks, “actually I was reading an article the other day that said there are a list of personal questions you can ask someone and by the end of all of them you should be in love with the person.”
He thought it was a good opportunity to take a sip of water, upon hearing the word love he realizes it was a mistake. He chokes lightly, coughing as he puts the glass back down and apologizes.
“Love?” He repeats the word.
“I’m going to be real honest here Spencer, I don’t date to get my heartbroken, I date to find my life partner so if you’re not interested in marriage or kids one day tell me now,” she’s very stern about it and he can tell she’s gotten her hopes up and heart broken before.
“I want that too, I just didn’t expect you to be so upfront about it,” he’s honest, because clearly that’s what she wants from him. “What was on the question list?”
“Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?” She asks, remembering the questions easily.
“Wow,” he takes a moment to think about it, “alive or dead?”
“Sure, why not,” she shrugs.
“Probably biological Eve,” he comes to the decision rather quickly. “I’ve always been fascinated with the fact all humans can be traced back to one single women. I’m sure she was amazing, it must have been so interesting being the first women on earth.”
“That is the coolest answer anyone has ever given me,” she smiles, “I think I’d be boring and have dinner with Julia Roberts.”
“She’s a very talented actress,” he smiles, recognizing the name from Penelope’s movie nights. “Um, I have an eidetic memory, do you have the list I can just read it once and then we can spit it back and forth easily.”
She looks at him with wide eyes and a growing smile, “yeah hold on.” She takes out her cellphone and pulls up the article before handing it to him.
He reads it quickly and then hands it right back, she was amazed, surely it was a joke? “Would I like to be famous?” He repeats the next question to himself.
“No,” he’s very certain. “I’ve had some encounters with psychopaths who think they are my biggest fans, perfect match or my only rival, and it’s not fun. I’m sure being adored is lovely, but I don’t like the attention if it’s not from a good place.”
“So you want praise but you don’t want a stalker?” She dumbs it down slightly with a smile, “I definitely don’t want to be famous because I don’t like other peoples opinions about me.”
“That’s incredibly fair.”
“Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say?” She asks the next one.
“If it’s for work or my mother, yes,” he answers it completely honestly. “I prefer not to make phone calls, so when I have to make them I typically spend the day before panicking.”
She smiles, “well, if you ever need someone to call tech support and pretend to be you, I am really good on the phone.”
“Like Penelope?”
She nods, “we spent a lot of time talking on the phone when she moved to Virginia for your team.”
“That must have been really hard, I’m surprised she hasn’t mentioned you yet?”
“I’m not really her sister,” she smiles, “I wish I was. I met her during a really abusive relationship and I didn’t feel close to my parents anymore, so my old name didn’t feel right either. Penelope and her brothers were the closest thing I had to family, so I took their name after my divorce.”
“That’s beautiful,” his smile is so soft, she wonders if he feels the same about Penelope.
“What do you consider a perfect day?” She moves on before she can pry into his personal life further, just to pry into his personal life further— in another direction.
“Nobody dies.”
“Even the bad guys?” She squints as she asks it, wondering if that was an appropriate topic for the first date.
“I’m not a fan of the prison system, and I’m really not a very big fan of suicide by cop, let alone lethal injection,” he explained. “Just because you’re a murderer or a psychopath doesn’t mean you have to die too, there is rehabilitation and a way to keep them sane and alive while keeping people safe. I just hate when people die.”
“Me too,” her smile is sad, “my perfect day would be having my parents back, I’d like to show them my degree and go out for ice cream and give them another hug.”
“We should have our perfect days back to back,” his voice is low, he was nervous to say it. “Cause then once you bring them back, I stop people from dying and they can stay forever.”
He sees her heartbreak as the tears well in her eyes, “that would be nice.”
“Um,” he clears his throat and then takes a sip of water. “When was the last time you sang to yourself, or someone else?”
“I was singing in the car on the way here,” she smiles with a sniffle, “I sing a lot actually. I’m always humming or tapping as well, if my mind is wandering then it has to make some kind of noise.”
“What is your favourite thing to hum?” He can’t stop himself from asking it, “I personally do the muppets, duh duh nanana, manamanah.”
She laughs again, and a tear slips out as her eyes close. She hurries to wipe it away, “I often find myself doing the teletubbies song, you know; ‘Tinky-Winky, Dipsy,’” she sings the words before humming the tune to match.
“That’s a good one too,” Spencer is really enthusiastic suddenly, the way he would be with Penelope. He was really comfortable. “If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?”
“Mind, because that’s how you keep a good body. If I can keep the strength and willpower to get up in the mornings and go to work and remember why I love being alive, I’ll be young forever,” she answers like it’s rehearsed.
“I was going to say I’d want my mind too, but the way you said it is a lot more elegant,” he teases. “My mom has Alzheimer's, you were honest about wanting kids and you should know that's genetic. I can also pass on schizophrenia and any other mental illness, like depression, bipolar disorder and most definitely anxiety—
“Spencer,” she reaches across the table for his hand, “breathe, that’s not scary to me. My grandma had it too, I’m not optimal gene-wise either.”
He takes a deep breath, “Sorry.”
“It makes you real to react like that, I don’t mind seeing that side of you. Fake strong men and men who compensate are the worst, in my opinion.”
“Mine too,” he agrees. “I am an anxious worrier, I barely sleep, I’m terrified of the dark, I have PTSD nightmares about my short stay in prison, and I cry a lot when I’m alone.”
“It was a mistake clearly? The prison stay, that is.”
“Yeah,” he nods, moving to the next question. “Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?”
She laughs through her nose at the switch topic change, “well until I was 19 I thought my husband was going to kill me, then I thought maybe it would be myself, now I’m content dying in my sleep when I'm old.”
“It is ever-changing,” he agrees. “I have died before.”
“What did it feel like?”
She doesn’t ask how, she knows he was sober, she knows he’s been to prison, she knows he’s an agent. It wasn’t a surprise. Penelope even almost died once before, it was an unfortunate part of the job.
“Warm.”
“Like soothing warm, like drinking a hot chocolate, or that uncomfortable warm like being in a hot car?”
“Like a hug.”
Her lips purse, she hums a bit. “Yeah, my answer stays the same.”
“Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.”
“You like to learn,” she smiles again. “You enjoy the mysteries and the horribleness of the world because it keeps you grounded. You love your mom.”
“We love Penelope, our hearts have similar scars, life has been mean to us for no reason,” he adds 3 more for good measure.
“What are you grateful for in life?” She asks the next question.
“I’ve never said this before,” he prefaces, “but found family. If it wasn’t for my team, no matter who was coming and going over the years, anyone who has had my back. Anyone who loves me in any capacity. That’s what I’m grateful for.”
“We’re not even through the first set of questions and I can see why everyone loves you,” she admits. Moving far too fast, doing exactly what Derek wanted from her.
To scare him and see if he still stays.
“Can I tell you a secret?” Spencer stops the questions, “I can’t continue if I can’t tell you this.”
“Yeah, what’s wrong?”
“Derek and Emily bet me $20 that I couldn’t get someone to fall in love with me, he wanted to set this up and then hit on you in a week and see if you picked me over him, and it feels like a really shitty thing to do to you. It’s making me feel like you’re an object more than a person and I feel really bad about it.”
She just laughs and he has no idea why. “He bet me that I could be as insane as I am with most of my dates and you’d still want to stay with me after a week.”
“You’re not mad?” He worries, by passing her words and the implications of it all.
“No, did you truly mean how you feel?”
“Yes…”
“Then I accept your apology, you’re really kind Spencer. I believe you when you speak, I trust you,” she explains her reasoning and he settles once more. “You’re the most real man I’ve ever met, I think.”
“Thank you,” he smiles again, reaching out for her hand once more, “do you want to finish these questions?”
“Not really,” she smirks, “I think they were wrong about all 35 of them making you fall in love with someone.”
“How so?”
“It only took me 9.”
It’s so absurd they start to laugh, making eye contact, they feel delirious. His hand in hers, she squeezes it lightly and he never wants to let it go.
“Do you want to get out of here?”
“Sure, did you drive?” She asks.
“No, I walked over.”
She gets up from the table and takes his hand once more, “well, are we going to mine or yours?”
“Are you living with Penelope?”
“Yours it is then,” she teases, bumping his shoulder. This was going to be fun.
Spencer pays for their meal and meets her out front, he gets in her passenger seat and gives her the directions. “Do you want to finish the questions on the drive?” He asks.
“Hmm, well, 11 is a long one, if you want to start telling me your life story in graphic detail? Or we can jump to 12 and you can tell me what super ability you’d like to wake up with?”
“Have you ever watched star trek?”
She’s not expecting that, it makes her take a double-take, she laughs lightly, “Yeah, why?”
“Deanna Troi can sense peoples emotions, I think that would really help with my job,” he explains it easily. “And in times like this.”
“I can just tell you,” she offers, pulling into his apartment complex, she can tell why he walked.
“You don’t have to yet, let it simmer,” he smiles softly, he’s not ready for her to make a decision like loving him when she really doesn’t know everything yet. “Come inside?”
She nods, getting out and taking his hand again for the walk inside. His house is green, and it makes sense. There are door wooden bookshelves and the distant smell of old books and spilled coffee, it’s dusty and old and very Spencer.
“Can I tell you some of my story?” She asks as she kicks her shoes off.
“Absolutely,” he follows her lead, “do you want anything, wine, water?”
“Wine would be nice,” she smiles, following him to the kitchen, “you know my favourite place to talk to someone is in the kitchen.”
“Why?”
“It's the heart of the house,” she smiles slightly, “that's what my mom used to say. This is where all the love happens.”
He loves her and he knows it already, she makes him happy and calm and if she’s in the heart of his house she might as well know all of his own heart.
“I was born in Vegas,” Spencer admits, pushing his life story past his lips before she can stop him or else he wouldn’t.
“My mom was a professor, my dad is an attorney, I have always been really smart and not so athletic, I enjoy chess and reading and I had big thick glasses as a child. My mom participated in a murder and my dad covered it up and that ruined their marriage but they blamed it on her schizophrenia when he left. And then I was left to raise her when she was supposed to be raising me. I cared for her until I turned 13, I left her during the weeks and my aunt would make sure she was okay and I would travel back and forth from CalTech and Vegas on the weekends.”
She can see the exhaustion on his face at just remembering it.
“I got my licence at 16, and then I took her car and it was easier. When I was 18 I put her in a sanatarium and sold her house and took a road trip with my friend to Virginia to go to the academy. He didn’t like it after a week and asked me to go with him to New Orleans and I didn’t— I met my mentor and joined the BAU instead. I was kidnapped and drugged by a man with DID… I died and then his personality switched and Tobias brought me back. I had an addiction to Dilaudid for a few months after, then I got sober after visiting Ethan in New Orleans.”
“Was he good to you?”
“Wonderful,” he smiles, “he was my shoulder to cry on for a long time and I didn’t realize how much I needed him in my recovery until we got a case and I had a reason to see him. I missed a plane and ignored my friends to just be with him. He’s the reason I got clean, not anything else… he told me that I was too special to hate myself, and he was right.”
“He was,” she smiles. “He sounds lovely.”
“And then, the first time I saw my mom after putting her in the sanatarium was because she told parts of our case to a man who lost his daughter, and he did a lot of messed up stuff… like he shot my co-worker. She was another special person to me—“
“I’m so sorry.”
He smiles, “she lived, don’t worry. I loved Elle, she was amazing but the bureau didn’t see that. She was a broken toy to them, we all become one eventually. I miss her a lot.”
She walks into his space and wraps her arms around him, giving him a hug as he rests against the counter, she makes no attempt to move back. Holding him in the heart of the house, close to her own. He holds her back just as tight.
“Maeve, she was another person I loved who got shot, she died. I see her sometimes when I sleep, she visits me when I’m in the most need. I’ll always love her, but she’s gone. The only other woman who claims to have loved me was a psychopath who is dead now too, she framed me for murder, had me drugged, kidnapped my mother and the list goes on and it’s not pretty. In prison she had a lot of bad things happen to me, I have scars that will never heal and a part of me was lost but I’m okay now.”
They have a moment of silence in the middle of their stories, she absorbs it while preparing her own, rubbing his back as her cheek stays pressed to his chest.
“I was born in California, my parents were high school sweethearts, they made me at prom. Learned that from the scrapbooks,” she laughs against his chest, “they were great and then they died when I was 14, it was a mass shooting at a mall, and I went to a foster home. I married the oldest son in the home after he groomed me for a few years… I met Penelope when I was 20 and she helped me get divorced and back on my feet and her brothers protected me.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“I’m sorry you relate to loss.”
“It's the one thing that unites us all, really,” Spencer’s voice is barely a whisper. “When you think about it, we’re all born and we all die, the only difference is how we fill the middle.”
They never get to that bottle of wine he mentioned, she pulls back and asks the next question as she drags him to his bedroom. “If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?”
“If I get to have kids.”
She drags him into the room and closes the door, “that was going to be my answer.”
“Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?” He asks as she starts to take her clothes off.
“Sleep beside the love of my life.”
“I’ve never woken up beside the love of my life,” he replies with a soft smile and follows suit, getting undressed down to their underwear before climbing in bed.
“Greatest accomplishment?” She asks as they settle in, laying her cheek on his chest once more.
He takes a moment to think of everything he’s done that has been good, and one really stands out. “there was a case a few years back, we found a bunch of kids who went missing and returned them to their families and gave answers to the families of children who didn’t make it. Days like that feel like a reward.”
“Getting divorced,” she pushes the words out quickly.
“Most valued friendship?” He asks, knowing she doesn’t need to explain herself.
“Penelope.”
“Derek.”
“Most treasured memory?”
“When JJ placed her son in my arms and told me I was his godfather,” his voice is hushed and she knows it’s because he doesn’t want to cry. “It's the closest I’ve gotten to being a father so far.”
“I got an end of the year present when I was first starting out, this girl told me that I was the reason she enjoyed reading again and it was the reason I started teaching, I’ll never forget her. Tammy Brownlee, she graduated in 2009 and we’ve been Facebook friends ever since.”
“Most terrible memory?”
“My parents dying.”
“You’d think mine would be dying right?” He asked, she nodded against his chest, “it was actually being held down by 3 men, getting a sock shoved in my mouth while they beat me.”
She kissed his chest softly, “I’m sorry, I know that feeling. Mind you, he was only 1 man, it’s not a good feeling.”
“If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?”
“If it’s definite; not like a chance or a cancer statistic, if it’s like this is the day you die no ifs and's or butts, then I’d just continue as normal and have 1 really awesome day right before,” she smiles against him. “Make the most of it all.”
“If I was dying a year today, I’d ask you to marry me.”
“Already?” She laughs, thinking he’s kidding.
“You want a nice husband and a kid? I will be good for you as long as I know you, and I’ll have as many kids as you want me to help you make.”
She’s silent as she thinks about it. “What does friendship mean to you?”
“Someone who is there for you even when they don’t want to be, even when it’s hard,” Spencer whispers, thinking about his friends.
“It means hacking the government and voiding a marriage and changing someone's name so they can escape,” Y/N whispers. “don’t tell the feds she did that too.”
“What roles do love and affection play in your life?”
“I crave it and hardly receive it, but I give it out like it’s a sample at costco,” she snickers at the example she gave. “It’s something that people have always admired about me and yet it’s also the thing that scares people away. When I love, I love hard and it’s full and annoying and you will feel suffocated sometimes, but just tell me when and I’ll back off.”
“I don’t know how to ask for what I need,” Spencer whispers. “But I need someone to love me like that.”
“The next one is to alternate 5 good things about each other,” she rests her chin on her hand as she looks up at his face in the darkness, “soft.”
He pauses for a moment, bypassing the easiest one and saying pretty, instead, he says; “you’re honest.”
“You’re very caring,” she replies.
“You see beauty in the world still.”
She smiles at that one, “you make the world beautiful.”
“You are beautiful.”
“And you’re handsome, that’s my 4th,” she keeps track in her head.
“You’re true, to your heart, your promises, everything.”
“And you’re real, you see the world for what it is and you don’t try to change it for the better. You want to make it manageable,” her explanation is the longest one yet. “Was your childhood happy, and do you feel close with your family still?”
“I write to my mom every single day and I drop the notes off weekly, and no,” he doesn’t want to cry, but he feels like he might again. “It was liveable, I made it.”
“Mine was happy until I was 14, then I was alone, I have 1 living aunt and she is strange but I get a card from her every Christmas,” Y/N adds. “I’d like to think your lack of love and my need to fill the world with what I miss from my parents will make a really good family dynamic.”
“Me too.”
“How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?” She asks, “I think I know already, but it’s the next one.”
“She hit me a few years ago because I made her take some medicine, she hit me once when I was a kid too…” he whispers them so that they stay a secret, if they can’t be heard else where then they don’t exist in his mind. “She was a wonderful mother but the worst memories stick out the most now. She’s forgetting everything and all I can remember is how hard it’s been on me, like a bad son.”
“My mom was my best friend, and I still talk to her every day, I bring her and my dad around with me in my necklace,” she pulls the chain on her neck and shows him the little jar. “Mom, Dad, this is Spencer. Spencer, this is my mom and dad.”
He holds it in his hand and tips it gently, “nice to meet you.”
“The next one is weird,” she changed the topic again.
“Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "We are both in this room feeling…" Spencer says it verbatim. “We are both feeling understood.”
“We are both hopeful.”
“We are both falling in love,” Spencer ends the feelings with the most prominent one.
“We are,” she agrees with another smile.
“Finish this,” he insists on moving forward, “I wish I had someone I could share…”
“The rest of my life with,” she whispers this time. “If we become besties, what’s something I should know?”
“I think I’ve told you all the important stuff so far,” Spencer thinks hard, pausing for a moment. “My butt is ticklish?”
It makes her giggle, “that is a good one. My sides and the bottom of my feet are ticklish too.”
“Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met,” Spencer reads the question back from memory, “don’t be afraid to be too honest.”
“I like that you know how I feel but I hate that you’ve been hurt. I like how you listen to me, and I really like how comfortable you make me feel. I’m almost naked in your bed right now and I know you’d never, ever hurt me, and I haven’t felt that in a really long time.”
“I like that you are indulging me in the dream of becoming a husband and a dad one day… most people say it’ll happen but they never picture it. No one has ever said yeah id have your kids. I like that you know what you want and you’re actively looking for it.”
She moves up so she can hold his face in her hands, “only 7 more. Is it working?”
He nods, “my most embarrassing moment is the time I had a wet dream on the work jet.”
She laughs and then covers her mouth in panic, “I’m sorry that’s not funny.”
“It is, it’s fine,” he smiles. “I was dreaming about kissing this actress we helped, she actually did kiss me in the pool, so I guess it was bound to happen.”
She leans in and presses her lips against his, holding his cheeks in her hands his wrap around her waist as he holds her there. She peppers smaller kisses to his lips before pulling back, “we both cried in front of each other already today, so next question.”
“Tell me what you like about me already?”
Her hands trail his chest and down towards his boxers, he’s hard again from just kissing and she smirks, “this is promising.”
His hand on her back unclips her bra, “I love boobs, not even going to lie. They are my weakness.”
She pushes the straps down and tosses her bra aside, pressing her naked chest against his, she moves on. “What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?”
“Being called insane, saying I'm seeing things, or acting crazy, those are things I don’t like to be told because they make my anxiety worse.”
“Noted,” she smiles. “I talk to myself a lot so get ready for that.”
“Okay,” he smiles, she’s way too easy to be real.
“I don’t want to mention my last husband from here on out, I think if I get married again I will never tell anyone I have a first husband,” she’s firm in her words.
“Technically, Y/N Garcia has never had a husband,” he reminds her.
Her face lights up at the realization, “you’re right.”
“If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?” Spencer asks.
“I regret not screaming at my ex before I disappeared but I wanted to live.”
He hums, understanding how it feels. “There isn’t anyone in specific I’ve wanted to tell this to, but I wanted to kill people when I was in prison. It made me really angry being in there and I let myself dream about killing people who hurt me and then I almost did kill someone.”
“Remember what you said about bad guys?” She whispers a helpful tip, “even the worst people deserve to have a chance at life. And you’re not hardly as bad as the worst people you’ve met.”
“You’re right,” he agrees. “Thank you.”
“This place burns down, what’s one thing you’d run back inside for? Outside of people and animals…” she asks the 3rd last question.
“The book Maeve gave me.”
“The girlfriend who died?” She confirms, and he nods. “If my place with Penelope burned down, I just want my necklace and I don’t take it off that often.”
“The next question is interesting,” Spencer thinks about it, “Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing, and why?”
“I’m glad I wasn’t at the mall with my parents, if I saw them get shot it would hurt more,” she whispers. “I’m sorry you had to see Maeve die like that.”
“In a way, I’m glad I saw Maeve get shot, otherwise I wouldn’t have believed it. She never felt real to me and then she was dead…”
She just hums, “Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it,” she whispers the last question.
“Also, ask your partner to reflect to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen,” Spencer adds in the second half.
“I need to find a place to stay now that I’m here, I don’t want to keep living with Penelope. As much as I love her, I want my own place,” Y/N admits.
“I think I’m in love with this girl that I just met and I don’t know if it’s too soon to ask her to look for a house with me?” Spencer pretends to sigh, “she’s super cool and I think we’d make some nice kids. I would love some advice.”
“Has she told you she loves you yet?” She teases.
Spencer shakes his head. “I love you, Y/N.”
“I love you, too, Spencer,” she replies, leaning in one more time to kiss him.
It’s deeper this time, she breathes him in and rests her forehead against his as she breathes between them.
“How did that work?” She whispers, truly amazed at how easy it was.
He shrugs, “it’s a good questionnaire.”
“You were really honest, your heart is really pure and I would like to get to know you more, but I feel like I know everything?” She shakes her head while she talks, overthinking all the things she has learned, “I don’t even know what could be left?”
“My birthday is October 28th?” He whispers, “we have a lot to discover yet.”
When she doesn’t come home in the morning, Penelope knows she’s at Reid’s house. She just doesn’t expect to walk in and find them naked in Reid’s bed, out cold and cuddled together with their clothes all over the room.
It looks like something happened. If only she knew the truth.
“Oh my god?” Penelope’s voice wakes them up and Spencer scrambles to make sure they are covered by his blankets.
“What are you doing here?” Y/N shouts as she wakes up.
“I came to see if you were okay. I expected one of you to be on the couch, I didn’t think it went this good?”
“We just slept in the same bed, I promise,” Spencer turned bright red as he panicked, “we just got to know each other and talked all night, in what we normally sleep in.”
“Uh-huh,” Penelope smirks, “so I take it the 36 questions worked?”
“Perhaps,” Y/N smirks back at her sister.
“Do you use it on many people?”
“No one has made it past the first question,” she smiles at him instead, kissing his cheek as Penelope watches.
“That’s my queue to go, um… yeah, wow, I didn’t see this happening so fast,” Penelope is shocked but in the best way.
She leaves just as fast as she arrived and Y/N settles back into Spencer the second she closes the bedroom door. “You know, if she’s not going to believe us we might as well do it? If you accidentally get me pregnant then we can move fast and no one will question it.”
He laughs, “accidentally, is the key word there.”
“My parents made me at prom after crushing on each other for 2 years… I think knowing each other for 2 days isn’t the weirdest way to start a family?”
“Honestly,” Spencer lets out a sigh and her happy mood drops to a more serious one. “I was a little worried that we’d wake up this morning and you’d change your mind.”
“Why?”
“In the heat of the moment, learning everything about each other and saying I love you was really exhilarating, but I have a hard time believing it,” he admits, “not many people mean it, or stay around after they tell me they love me.”
She cuddles back into the crook of his neck and holds him as tightly as possible, wrapping a leg around him for optimal coverage, “I am staying right here, because I love you, Spencer.”
“Okay,” he whispers. Sounding like he still doesn’t believe it.
“I love you because you’re honest, you want what I want and you’re truly kind. You’re friends with my sister, you’re smart, you would make a great dad, you won't hurt me, you are really nice to cuddle with, and I know you mean it when you say you love me because it’s not a word you use lightly.”
“Are you my girlfriend now?” He wonders aloud, “cause if you really want to have a kid, I have my mom's old wedding ring in my closet, and I would rather be married to you before we do that?”
“Okay,” she whispers, tears welling in her eyes as she hides her face in his neck, “the courthouse is literally just down the road?”
“We can get breakfast together after?” Spencer adds, rubbing her back as they plan, he wasn’t scared anymore.
“Penelope will kill me if she’s not there, can we have her as our witness?” Y/N finally sits up to look at him, pulling away to sit on the bed, still shirtless.
His smile while he tries to keep eye contact with her is so funny, she giggles a little as she hides her nipples behind her palms and cups her boobs.
“I’m pretty sure she’s still in my living room,” Spencer giggles, “Penelope!?”
She comes back in then, “yes?”
“We’re going to the courthouse to get married, wanna come?” Y/N asks with an embarrassed smile.
“Yes!” She cheers, “I’ll go get you a dress!”
And then she’s off again, this time actually leaving Spencer’s apartment. “What if we don’t tell Derek, and let him hit on me next week anyway?
“Then you can say ‘sorry I have a husband,’ and he’ll body slam me to the floor,” Spencer laughs nervously, “the whole team is going to be so pissed they missed my wedding…”
She frowns, “send out a mass text, tell them to meet us at the court house, it’s their day off right?”
“You’re right,” he smiles.
This was going to be interesting.
Walking out of the courthouse, hand in hand, she’s in a white dress, he’s in a suit he’d probably wear to work, Penelope is crying and the whole team is waiting outside for them.
At the bottom of the courthouse steps, they all clap and cheer, throwing rice at them like an old movie, Spencer’s smiling so hard his cheeks are burning. Y/N introduces herself to everyone, hugged over and over by everyone she should have met 15 years ago.
Derek is tapping his foot, waiting for Spencer to come and hug him, “what the fuck?” He asks as Spencer steps into his space, wrapping his arms around him and shaking his back and forth.
“Nice try, I’ll give you $20 as a thank you,” Spencer teases as he pulls away. “She is perfect.”
JJ and Will are busy talking to Y/N when he turns around, Mike and Henry not far behind them. Spencer walks over and wraps Henry up in his arms, the kid was growing way too fast, Spencer loved him so much it hurt sometimes.
“Y/N, this is my godson,” Spencer introduces them, “Henry, this is Y/N.”
She gives him a big hug too, “do you have any cousins, Henry?”
“No, but I was 8 when Michael was born,” he smiles, “and I’m getting old enough to be a good babysitter?”
Spencer laughed, messing up Henry’s hair quickly with a smile, “I’m sure by the time you’re a cousin you’ll be great.”
They take a group photo outside, Spencer and Y/N in the middle, everyone was smiling. It was the first time all of them had been in a photo together, the entirety of Spencer’s found family. Now they were Y/N’s too.
She hyphenated her last name, Y/N Garcia-Reid, and their kids would share the same one. He was not only about became a father thanks to Y/N, but Penelope would also become an Aunt once more. It was like a gift that kept on giving, seeing Spencer and Y/N create a little family of their own.
She cried her eyes out when she met Diana. She wasn’t expecting to be so emotional, but then Diana was lucid and very welcoming and sweet.
“It’s going to be a pleasure having you as my daughter,” Diana smiles, thinking it was just a nice thing to say.
Y/N cries and holds her so tight Diana almost can’t breathe but she lets her hold her as long as she needs to, “thank you.”
“You’re welcome?”
“I haven’t had someone to call mom since I was 14,” Y/N whispers, “if that’s okay?”
Diana hugs her just a little too tight in response, “you can call me mom whenever you want.”
“Just until you become a grandma,” she whispers again as she pulls back and Diana’s attention snaps to Spencer.
“Are you trying?”
He nods, “we want kids, we’re not getting any younger.”
Diana wraps him up in a hug and he almost falls off his chair at the sheer force of it, she was so happy for him. She knew this was all he’s ever wanted; because he would be good at it, he had all this love in his heart, and he wanted to show his father how easy it is to stay.
“You’re going to be a great dad, Spencer,” she holds his cheeks as she pulls away, “I’m proud of you.”
He cried. It’s all he’s wanted from her, and now he has everything right here in this room.
When they find out they’re pregnant after the first try, it’s really funny to them. It was all working so well, it was a little too much for them at first. They were looking for a house, she was looking for a permanent teaching job but Spencer convinced her to wait until after the baby is born to go back.
They name her Morgan Garcia-Reid as a thank you for Derek’s little bet, and before she’s even 6 months old they’re pregnant again. By the time they have 4 kids under 5 they take a break and just enjoy their little family.
To think Derek gave them 7 days to fall in love… and then they lived happily ever after.
taglist: @g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @ssavanessa22 @spookyspence @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria@reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor @blanchardsbk
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An Angel and A Demon ~ Pyramid Head x Reader
Update 2: My laptop restarted when I was in the middle of writing this, and trust me when I say it, I am positively pissed off, and I want to end my days, that's how bad of a day this was.
And I didn't leave the house.
That says a lot about today...
Update 1: But, without further ado, I was half-way writing this story, and I received this ask, and let me tell you...
helloooo, i absolutely adored the fanfics you wrote about kazan and danny🥺 could i request one where pyramid head is just really whipped for and in love with the survivor! reader but he doesnt know how to announce it to them so he brings her random ,,gifts" in and outside the trials and protecting her bc well, im pretty sure he cant speak so he doesnt really have any other options on how to express his feelings??
I live for it.
Bless you for sending me this, it's the reason I'm still sane right now.
I love you, baby-cakes.
Update 3: I want to kill myself so bad. Just smash my head on a wall until it explodes or sth. I was so happy with how this imagine turned out, only fuck fucking tumblr to just fucking delete EVERYTHING just as I was about to put the last gif and hit POST NOW.
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For the 5th time writing this :
FUCKMEDADDY - but this time - FUCKMYBRAINSOUTPLEASEIWANNADIE
Thanks.
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Hell - What was that place, anyway?
Some would describe it as an infinite ocean of flames and lava, where it's eternally melting-hot, and a bunch of hooved, horned, tailed red demons torture you with acid, with their red pitch forks, or boil you alive in their cauldron for soup. Or maybe you just get tortured by Stalin, who knows?
But never would have anyone thought that 'Hell' could look so...Normal. Well, normal in a very demolished, desolate, ravished way, but still...Normal, by human standards. Albeit, the never-ending loop of madness, anguish, agony and desperation of getting killed in different gruesome ways or fleeing for their lives and feeling a myriad of emotions pumping adrenaline through their veins so badly that their anxiety-meter skyrocketed to abnormal levels.
All this darkness, this hatred, this...Everything...It changed all the survivors. They became selfish, stubborn, rude, some even went as far as to sacrifice their fellow survivors in trials, just so they could survive. It was a complete mayhem that defied all kinds of reason, normality, morality or even ethics. Everyone became devoid of any laws that used to bind them to their humane sides, and now, you weren't sure if the killers were saner than the survivors or not.
But even in this abyss where you couldn't even see your hand in front of your very eyes, there was a little star - A beautiful angel radiating brightness and warmth, someone who was somehow able to guide everyone's straying souls with her benevolence.
In reality, she was merely a survivor, not the little lantern from an angler fish's head, but she treated everyone with such an untainted kindness...It was beautiful, and yet, unrequited for most parts. Everyone was still putting their own lives above all - And who could condemn them? - Perhaps their cowardice, for the girl preferred to save her fellow survivors as much as possible, even if that oftentimes assured her place on the hook, to be a sacrificial lamb for the Entity.
On the other hand, she rarely ended up on the hook - Most killers prefer to kill her themselves, instead of letting her become pray for the horrible Entity who tortured so many of them for refusing to cooperate - The Trapper, Evan MacMillan - He knew the best, with those hooks digging into his flesh, impossible to extract. He was the first to protect this girl. It wasn't much, but if he had to, he'd rather give her a swift, painless death, than seeing her without that serene, angelic smile on her face, as the Entity feeds on the last bits of her soul's beauty, the last parts of her humanity.
The other Killers were confused at the Trapper's actions, but little by little, they began to understand why this girl was so precious and special - And this domino effect hit Rin Yamaoka next, with Y/N stopping in the middle of a chase and taking off her jacket, just as Rin was about to butcher her with her katana, and she smiled, extending it to her. 'You must be cold' she said, realising that the Spirit was merely wearing a few bandages, not even her school uniform, or her kimono.
The ghost girl was shaken up by this, and told the others at the killer camp, but they just shrugged it off - Rin was a little girl who faced close to no kindness, they weren't surprised she was so taken aback by such a feat. That is, until Adiris, in a particularly terrible day, when everyone at the camp was staying away from her, as her profane censer wasn't able to cover the stench of rotting flesh - Y/N came over, taking out a small yet elegant glass bottle with pink liquid on it, spraying some on her - And now, The Plague smelled of roses and vanilla - 'You can come to me for perfume whenever you want, I always carry some with me!' she grinned at the Babylonian High Priestess, before leaving back to the survivor's camp site, leaving the ancient God symbol to stare with her mouth agape at the girl.
These words began to spread, and it was no surprise when the killers saw Susie clinging and begging her Legion friends to spare Y/N, for she was there to hug away her worries more than once, to tell her sweet words, to play with her hair and play the guitar whatever songs she wanted to hear, to get reminded of her home - She was so home sick that she freaked out, but now she was better, thanks to Y/N - 'I know you miss home, but sometimes, home is where your best friends are, and all three of them are here!' she tried to encourage the cute pink-haired girl who could only squeal and hug her new friend.
Even Ghostface wasn't exempt from falling to her charms, and they would often take silly selfies and mess around, making fun of the old horror movie tropes and doing lots of puns and pranks - So much that she even got his trust to be told about the Danny/Jed thing, and how he began his killer profession - 'You're a very talented photographer, Danny! You deserved all that recognition you got, both as a journalist, and as a killer!'
And very soon, Y/N found herself in the crushing arms of an overprotective Anna, humming her mother's lullaby together with walking through the forest, Y/N making flower crows for all the female killers at the camp site, and little by little, she somehow managed to worm her way under everyone's skins.
Y/N was the survivor with the highest survivability percentage, and maybe the Entity sometimes got pissed off, but at least she still got killed sometimes, so who cares? Well, that was soon to change as soon as a new Killer was added to this sick game - Pyramid Head, the terror of Silent Hill, as Cheryl, the new Survivor, called him - or The Executioner, as he was known now. He was ruthless, merciless, grotesque - He had his own criteria of killing, his own moral compass, ethics, conscience and understanding of the concept of life and death. Nothing that could compare to the visions of humans, clearly - Everything was gravitating around Divine Retribution and Justice, but the from the outside, he was nothing but a killing machine.
He would kill everyone and anyone that crosses his path, without fail.
Y/N felt like her fortune ended completely the second she found herself in the new, overly cramped map, with Pyramid Head as the killer - She couldn't help but run around like a spazzic meerkat, trying to find and fix as many generators as possible, without having to get face to face with the walking hazard...
Only to run past a stuck Pyramid Head.
Slowly backtracing her steps, she saw the mountain of a man with his metal pyramid stuck in the frames a low window which he tried to walk over. He was trashing like a raged bull trying to attack a matador, but it was clear he was getting nowhere with this.
"H-Hey, u-uhm...Need some help?" she asked in a soft, careful voice, almost like a meek cat trying to test the waters, but in return, he started groaning even louder from the wrath he wanted to unleash upon the whole world. "Okay, uhm...I think I saw a can of vaseline in one of the chests around. I'll go fetch it and I'll come back for you. Don't move." she said, only to then realise how horrible that sounded, considering the situation, and it only seemed to anger the killer. "...I'm sorry, ignore me, I'm an idiot." she slapped herself pretty harshly before bolting out of there trying to find the chest.
However, Y/N cursed herself for not having perfectly memorised the whole map by heart already, since she found the vaseline can after the 3rd chest, and then, it took quite a while to find the bloody window that got the killer stuck - And by the time she got there, she was dead tired. "Okay, I'm here, I found the vaseline! Let's try to get you out of here." Y/N muttered as she put her feet on the low window pane to get to his level. "If it's not too much trouble, could you please hold onto me? I can't balance myself with both hands occupied, and I'd rather not fall." she explained as she opened the vaseline can, only to shiver as she felt two big, strong hands getting a firm grip on her hips. It was almost...Endearing, were she not too busy trying to get the killer unstuck. She kept massaging the metal edge, trying to push and pull, also praying to whatever deity that existed in her human world that she had her tetanus shot done on time - Until finally, she was able to get hear a loud screech, like a pop, and the killer got unstuck, and in the process, he stumbled backwards, while Y/N fell down on her butt.
"Ouchie..." she muttered, rubbing her back and sides to take away the pain surging through her body. "Are you okay?" she asked, almost intuitively, without realising it at first, until she heart a low grunt that brought her back to reality. "O-Oh...! You have glass shards stuck in your side! And you're bleeding too! Hold up, let me help." she hurried to his side, while the killer merely stiffened, feeling her delicate, slender fingers tracing his body, while he heaved and slouched his shoulders from the repressed wrath. "It may sting a bit, and I'm really sorry, but I promise it will be better soon." her voice was so motherly and warm, which also resonated in her actions, as she gingerly took a water bottle and imbued some tissues with it, to wipe away the blood smearing down his skin as she extracted the glass shards, and then..."This is grandma's marigold ointment. It's really good, and it smells nice." she explained as she carefully smeared a thick layer of the yellow ointment on the biggest wounds, while the little ones were covered by smiley-flower patterned plasters. They were cute, and colourful, and they never failed to make her smile. "Okay, there we go, all better! I hope you'll feel better very soon!" her voice got a tiny bit more cheerful and upbeat.
It made the Killer think about a trillion things, as he stepped in front of her, towering over her like the Empire states building next to a smiling pomeranian. What was with this girl? Why did she help a killer? And why did he feel so...Warm inside? He could sense a foreign kind of luminosity, a naivite and innocence that he only witnessed in children and animals. This woman in front of him was untainted by the darkness and evil of the world.
It didn't matter how many hardships she's been through, or how much sadness she had to endure - Her soul remained as pure as any snowdrop, as the first snow of winter, as the fleece of a baby lamb who let out its first 'meeeeh' to its mamma sheep.
He couldn't allow this human to be maimed in any way - Not by the world, not by the Entity, and certainly not by him. - Screw the Entity, Pyramind Head kills by his own rules, and now, he was blessed to be faced with a human who bore no real hatred for her peers, or for the world, despite the horrible situation she was thrown into.
He didn't understand, obviously, especially as he remembered the myriad of abominations that lurked through Silent Hill, all of them created by the torment of humans - The very torment that distorted their own reality, which resulted in him needing to solve the purpose as The Executioner - Eradicating the world of all evil.
"Th-This sword is so heavy...H-How can you carry this around like that...?! Your muscles must be so strained and sore...Y-You really need a massage, I'm sure." she stuttered as she tried to lift the much taller and heavier sword from the ground, only for the brute to simply bend and pick it up with extreme ease, putting the girl to shame with her complete lack of strength. "Hehe...You're really strong. I'm embarrassed now." she chuckled softly, scratching the back of her neck.
Before she could leave or do anything else, Pyramid Head picked her up by the throat, careful not to hurt her or restrict her air intake - I mean, how else was he supposed to carry her so he wouldn't hurt her with his metal head or sword? - and it was pretty clear she didn't feel any malevolence from him, as she clinged on his forearm, trying to keep herself up, only to be dumped on top of the hatch, as the killer pointed towards it, so she would leave.
"O-Oh...! Thank you so much! You're really kind! I really appreciate this...I-I know it probably doesn't matter much to you, since you'll be doing this over and over again with all the survivors...But I really appreciate you for your kind gesture, and I appreciate you for being so nice with me. Thank you. Take care!" her dazzling smile lit the whole place up, but he couldn't talk, nor could he tell her how he should be the one thanking her for showing him that, despite the hundreds and thousands of years he had to roam the 'Earth' and execute the injust, miracles still existed.
As soon as she reached the survivor's camp, everyone cheered for her, asking how in the world could she have escaped the wrath of the butcher. "Oh, but he wasn't that bad. In fact, he's much more humane than I anticipated! I think he has a beautiful, blooming heart!" okay, she's lost it - the other survivors thought - but even so, she's always been a bit...Out of it, so who cares?
It took quite a while for the other three survivors to reach the camp, all bloody, in fact, like the new killer, who dragged himself with the same menace to the Killers' camp. "How the hell did you manage to survive?!" they yelled at her in utter shock, seeing that she got out of there unscratched. "Oh, you see...I found the hatch." she shrugged simply, not wanting to give away that the person who massacred those three was a soft one and he basically threw her down the hatch to her safety.
As she took a twig to roast a marshmallows, she noticed how Pyramid Head was standing much farther away from the rest of the killers - She knew that silent killers were bound to stay away from the more obnoxious one, remembering how Michael Myers almost killed Ghostface and The Legion at least a dozen times - But this time...He seemed kinda...Lonely? So Y/N took the matters into her own hands, roasted another marshmallow in another twig, and when it was done, she went to the killer's camp, calling out the lonely one's name - She has no idea why, but he actually followed her, pushing her further deep into the forest, until he was sure nobody was going to hear, see or interrupt them...
"Hey. You seemed pretty lonely out there...I thought you could use a friend. Thank you again for what you did at the trial...Here, this is a marshmallow. I don't think you've had many before...Cheryl told me of that horrible place you had to live in...So I hope this will make your day a bit better!" Y/N extended one of her hands towards him, so he could take the marshmallow - And a long, black tongue erupted from underneath the pyramid, snatching away the fluffy marshmallow and gulping it in one go.
What the hell was he turning into?
A towering man built of pure muscle, wrath and divine justice, with a pyramid representing the evil of humanity burdening his body, and a sword taller and heavier than the average human being constantly dragged in one of his hand...He now was a slave to a cute, innocent girl who was putting flower plasters on his minuscule wounds that would heal in a heartbeat regardless - He saved this girl who was now offering his these soft, squishy things that tasted overly sugarly, just like her upbeat and cheerful personality - If he could eat her, he was sure she would taste even sweeter than this - A sickish kind of sweet, that is.
She was indeed a beautiful angel in this tragic hell. But he didn't wait to snatch the second marshmallow either.
"Ah...! You liked it, didn't you? Well...Next time, I promise I'll give you more!" she grinned at him the same way a princess would to her chivalrous knight who saved her. The since he couldn't talk, silence took over them - It wasn't an uncomfortable one, per se, but it made it feel as if the conversation was over. "W-Well...I'll guess I'll see you around! Take care and I hope to see you again soon!" she waved cutely, trying to turn around back to her camp, only to feel a rough hand on her shoulder, turning her around and urging her to stop and wait for him and he went deep into the forest, leaving her alone and undefended by the potential malevolent forces of the forest.
When he returned, however, he stepped right in front of her, creating the perfect shade as he towered over her - Then he kneeled in front of her, so he would reach her eye sight, then he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and put a beautiful pink flower - As pink as the blush that started creeping on her face - He wanted to see her luminous face better, to highlight her dazzling smile and her glimmering eyes as the warm, silver light of the mother moon caressed her face.
Y/N felt her heart picking up the pace - It was beating so much faster than ever before - But this time, it wasn't out of fear or anything negative...It was something good. Something she never felt in her life, especially with her human acquaintances from back home. None was as chivalrous and gentle with her as this butcher of tormented souls - The bringer of justice, the merciless Executioner who was supposed to end the life of every living being that would cross his path.
It was insane how every Yin finds its Yang, even if that comes in the form of a little lamb of a small, frail girl, and a huge abomination of a brute man who knows nothing but death, bloodshed and carnage. It was truly crazy how opposites attract, and here she was, holding the killers large hands and gingerly putting them on her face, leaning into his touch - She felt safer now than ever in her life - Now, in the arms of an ancient killer.
An Angel and A Demon brought together in a perfect union.
As she leaned down, she touched the metal of the pyramid where she anticipated his forehead would be with her own forehead, and closing her eyes, she finally felt herself calming down. There was no need for words, actions spoke louder than anything, and she appreciated it...She appreciated him.
"Thank you." she whispered to him, knowing that yes, even though nobody else would hear it anyway, it was much more intimate than anything she ever experienced.
She was hooked.
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Hope you liked my completely shameless pun, I couldn't stop it, especially after the pain I went through trying to write this...3 freaking times.
Yay.
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pythors-pandemic · 2 years
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the big list of ninjago quotes
on my most recent rewatch, I wrote down any and all lines I enjoyed and for no reason other than @ninja-go-to-therapy was interested in seeing the list, I’m posting them. side note: a lot of these I wrote down simply because of the voice acting, not necessarily the words themselves. with that, here are 279 ninjago quotes
Season 1
“we’re saving a girl?! is she hot?”
“let’s chop sucky this lemonade stand”
“if i see one girl in here, i’m gonna go ballistic”
“uh.. is that wrecking ball staring at me?”
“this is not the time to be cryptic”
“how am i supposed to strike fear in this?! it’s pink!”
“it’s a magic floating rope”
“great observation, mr roboto”
“zane, like a machine. don’t change a thing”
“perhaps if you try the phrase ‘fire DORK’ maybe it might work”
“oh great. just what i like: fighting armed deadly snakes in a highly combustible environment about to BLOW UP!”
“haha, this is heavy and all, but what ever happened to the FANGBLADE?!”
“i mean at least give me a decent mustache” 
“get ready to get kai’ed!”
“woah grease ball! how about warn us before doing that!”
“ninja recover!”
“what?! you try fighting up here!”
“all that action, it makes you so thirsty”
“we’re so HOOPED!”
Season 2
“i can make a little extra if i do the human piñata” 
“it’s a bad boy thing”
“oh that is just so evil”
“why do i always get tied up?”
“this is bad! this is so bad on SO MANY LEVELS!!”
“it makes me feel young, deal with it”
“hey McNasty, i thought ninja were on your menu”
“this does not compute” *shorts out*
“ I believe a big ut oh is in order”
“and nya will never fall head over heels for jay!”
“NO MATTER WHAT YOU NEED TO CONVINCE HIM TO GO WITH YOU!”
“easy big guy! maybe this is a sign you need to lose a few pounds!”
“HEY! OPEN THE WINDOW! LET ME IN”
“what’s my power?” “uhh. hot air?”
“good riddance vampire fish!”
“jay, how did you ever become a ninja? seriously!”
“wrong again, mr. empty-head”
“zane. no”
Season 3
“my name was clearly on it!” “i didn’t see motor mouth on it!”
“who you callin ‘pedestrian’?” 
“yeah well i’m super hooped and i haven’t brushed my teeth in a week!!”
“it almost hit my mother”
“i know it’s a clue, zap trap”
“these toasters never know when to quit!”
“just testing the rules. first rule: cole’s a crybaby!”
“i can’t do it! i can’t do it! I CANT DO IT!!”
“I’m kind of a.. secret agent. *gasps* oops! guess it’s not a secret anymore”
“relax, when have i ever been careless”
“this car is worth far more than you”
“like all boys, you can be reprogrammed”
“his wisdom takes a while to set in. WE DONT HAVE A WHILE!”
“i can’t wait to see the expressions in the faces of those metal chrome domes” “they’re nindroids nimrod, they don’t have expressions”
“i owe you one” “okay, stay away from nya” “maybe a different one”
“it’s a BUG >:(“
“BAD GLOWY! BAD!”
Season 4
“i’m a ninja, and you are wearing makeup”
“fire will melt her icy heart”
“i feel guilt! these are bad feelings”
“see what this island is doing to me?! ITS CORRUPTING ME!”
“jay, would you stopmakingnoise?!”
“you just had to leave me hanging, huh romeo”
“mine are made of rock, what a crock >:(“
“ooo looks like kai’s got the hots for her”
“kai’s heart is on fire! kai’s heart is on fire! kai’s heart is on fire!”
“stop licking your tattoos”
“eat dirt, bluebell!”
“pixel?! you got a girl stuck in your head??”
“aahugh! my leg! get kai off me!!”
“just tell me one thing. was it his idea to make me fall for you, or yours? because it worked”
“you saved me for a reason. and you know i’m far to fetchy to resist ;)”
“curse this fraudulent furniture”
“everything’s a weapon in the big house!” * proceeds to brush enemies teeth*
“when people try to bust out of jail, they do it quietly, not LITERALLY”
“that’s one way to cool off a hot head!”
Season 5
“JUST TAKE THE FLYER!”
“woah! i think he just broke the sound barrier”
“yeah i know we’re terrible students!”
“woah, lloyds gone through puberty”
“hey! no one calls me pathetic!”
“you hear that kai?! we’re gonna fly!”
“why is it when lloyds gone, we always look to kai? we should be following zane”
“he turned my wolloper into a ghost! no one turns my wolloper into a ghost!!”
“no we don’t pinch! we don’t even have pockets!!”
“sure we can’t understand zane, but could we ever?”
“incase you haven’t noticed, there’s flying weapons trying to slide and dice us!”
“what is it?! what’s down there??? oh wait! don’t tell me! i don’t wanna know!”
“why would you touch the scary picture, jay? “i didn’t know it would do that, cole!”
“well, go face him, jay” “arugh! you go face him!”
“ohh i’m such a dummy”
“be the key, cole. BE THE KEY!”
“WHY DO I GET THE UNCONTROLLABLE SLEAD!!”
“you again >:(“ “you say that as if it’s a bad thing”
“you’d fight someone unarmed?” “that’s a good question, yes”
“ hate to spoil what’s next, but just because you’re in my friends body, watch out!”
“*snorts* i’m sorry, he said buttheads”
“i bet that’s what all nindroids say” “if you’re implying that smell came from me-“
“WHY ARENT WE LISTENING TO THE CLUE?!”
“STAY TOGETHER? IM JUST TRYING TO STAY IN ONE PIECE”
“hey guys, guess what?! i get an AWESOME EYEPATCH!”
“all you ninja do is talk, blah blah blah”
“AHH HES ATTACKING AN UNARMED MAN!”
“we’re not stalling! we’re thinking! he’s totally right, i’m stalling”
“augh this guy really chaps my hide”
“ughh! i hate unbeatable creatures!”
“let me handle the blowhard”
Season 6
“my hair is sick!”
“my followers have needs too”
“excuse me, which fruit is black?!” “uh, blackberries?” “shut it, jay” >:(
“it wasn’t me, dad! IT WASNT ME!”
“statistically speaking, your witty banter only gets us into more trouble”
“yeah but are you the master of kablewy”
“and we’re shuffling, we’re shuffling”
“working for a crime boss isn’t a very reliable career choice”
“YOU ATE OUR ONLY WAY OUT?!!”
“not now, sprocketarm”
“gosh why are you pirates so long winded!”
“i told you to hurry up!” “would you be quiet and run!”
“you have to act as our lightning rod!”
“the only thing i can see is your stupid hand, jay”
“AHHH HAAH ITS SO BIG!!”
“if i get out of here, i’m gonna bite YOU!”
“sorry for the delay, i’ve never had to milk the face of a giant spider before!”
“sorry pal, i don’t know who this lost love of yours is, but she ain’t nya”
“we’ll all be hooped if he has infinite wishes”
“you got what you wished for boulder brain!”
“we really need to start LISTENING TO ME!”
“said from the heart?! hearts don’t talk!”
“the world is falling apart and he’s eating soup!”
Season 7
“I DONT KNOW BUT ITS LOUD!”
“self diagnostic indicates negative” *jay hits him* “how about now?” “…no”
“leftie, rightie, nice to meet you. also, DO BETTER!”
“plate! show! clipboard!”
“we have a plan— go kick some butt”
“why am i so good? it’s a curse really”
“you can do this, you can do this. I CANT DO THIS IM TOO FREAKED!”
“you call this stabilizing?!” “i’m trying!” “try harder!!”
“let’s run straight at eachother and see if this will slow us down before we collide!” *all laugh*
“faster, jay!” “you’re so slow, cole!”
“sounds like someone’s earned his blackbelt in being a wet blanket”
“maybe they didn’t hear it!” *a second later* “no, they did”
“bring it on you vermillion doof!”
“yeah! that’s what i’m talking about! vermillion done! workers saved! ninja in the swamp!!”
“no matter how many times you watch those suckers hatch, it’s always gross”
“MOVE YOUR BUTT, ZANE!”
“did you just speak?” “no… okay that time i did”
“not just you you, young you too wu”
Season 8
“i could kiss ya, pix!” “i do not think zane would approve”
“cole, master of earth. and this is jay, master of blabber” “lightning”
“i told you not to introduce yourself as the master of earth, no one knows what that means”
“no you boldhead”
“who likes ice cream? i do!”
“it is nice to have a pooper at the party”
“they’re coles” “they’re BLUE!” “you’re lucky they’re not yellow”
“she’s also creepy” “par for the course in a mystical tea shop, jay”
“what sort of power does the green ninja have?” “it’s some kind of energy or green light. i don’t know, like all our elemental powers rolled into one”
“zane! knock me out! do something!”
“you lied? mystake why would you do that? i thought we were friends :(“
“it’s me zane, cole? or should i say my alias, rocky dangerbuff” 
“what is cole doing?!” “i don’t know but please tell me someone is recording”
“haha! come here you little sucker”
“totally called it!” “you did not” “did to!”
“he did not just!” “he just did!”
“at least cole jr’s fine, so we can give the diapers to jay!”
“who knows! he’s a living fortune cookie. everything he does is a puzzle meant to TORTURE US!”
“i’ve got an itch, you mind coming over here to scratch it ;)”
“this can end one of two ways, either you can hand the mask over peacefully” “i don’t even have to know the rest of the choices, i like that one” “or we’re gonna get all ninja up on you” “what does that even mean?” “i don’t know. i was improvising”
“don’t make me zap you!” *zaps him*
“did you just tell yourself to hold on..?”
“if that’s lord garmadon, i’m lord of the jig” “then you better start jigging”
“and kai knows bad ideas, he’s full of them!”
“to go” “to gooo?” *nodds* “to go”
“i’m sorry, we totally should’ve knocked”
“my brother is coming.” “how do you know?” “i know”
Season 9
“foil, i found foil!!!”
“you not freaking out, is freaking ME OUT” 
“kai baby, it’s much easier coping with life’s problems when you let go of hope!”
“yeah, he’s totally lost it” “no, i’ve totally found it”
“pfft that’s rich, now we’re teaching him lessons he taught us!”
“quit messing with my tunes, man”
“that was a learning experience”
“so, watcha doing, jay?” “it’s my new video game console, i built it myself”
“ooo are we playing hide and seek?”
“who’s diapers are those?” “uh, they’re jay’s— tell them jay” “oh.. i have a weak bladder”
“okie dokie, off we go”
“this isn’t good, jay. this is bad”
“oh boy. i believe jay’s mental state has made him useless to our plight”
“i borrowed it earlier, just like how you borrowed my wisdom”
“can this get any better!” “can you get anymore nuts!”
“and here i thought we were at rock bottom,” *while laughing* “this is so much worse”
“if i’m going out, i’m going out with bells on”
“how do we get out of here alive?!” “the sooner you realize we can’t, the more fun it’ll be”
“i do not believe that is possible…” “i was being scarcastic” 
“we did it! we did it! we did it!”
“then stay at home, tinsil toes”
“tell me you have a plan” “it’s in the works” “he doesn’t have a plan”
“easier to grow a little than to lose a lot”
“a teenager?! now we’re in for it”
“how do we know one of them isn’t already pretending to be ONE OF US?!” “oh zip it, jay”
“you know what you need? confidence” “you mean cocky, like you?”
“haha! we should teach him how to drive next”
“listen to me you silly master of dunce!”
“could you pass a roasted lizard stick up here?! i’m kind of hungry too!”
“did i… did i do that right? a joke?”
“that’s not fair you bullied them!”
“oh my gosh! he just grew a mustache!”
“THEY ARE GONNA EAT US!”
“if you are gonna eat us, eat him first he’s full of cake!” “am not!”
“i know, the commute is terrible”
Season 10
“i find the term ‘freak out’ inadequate and imprecise”
“i can’t believe i have to babysit my own father”
“you gotta just do it, jay! it’s like ripping off an old bandaid, the sooner you get it over with, the better” “uhm did you just compare nya to an old bandage?” “way to go, cole. way to take the romance out of it”
“ha! fat chance”
“i wouldn’t trust you with a… a… a…” “a pillow! what.. it’s the least threatening thing i could think of”
“oh c’mon that was awesome!” “it was adequate!” 
“we thought we lost you, you jerk!”
“we really need to talk about your sense of timing, jay”
Season 11
“get his legs! hold him!” “those are MY legs!!”
“i looked it in the eye!”
“yeah of all the bad ideas i’ve heard, and i’ve heard a few, looking at you kai, this takes the cake”
“guys guys, you’re both to valuable to risk. it should be someone expendable, like jay.”
“cole! you could’ve smashed kai!”
“you say that like i should be totally cool running into a long deceased explorer” 
“i think i swallowed my teeth”
“worst parking spot ever”
“that would save us hours and hours of slow boring back breaking work. oh well, we’ll just have to do it the slow boring back breaking way”
“speaking of slow, where’s kai?”
“fire maker has more miracles”
“you made me go back to the bounty for the travelers tea and it fell of a cliff!”
“pull me up! quick!” “i can’t! you’re too heavy!” “what are you trying to say!?”
“nya, whatever you’re doing DO IT FASTER!”
Season 12
“take that! obsolete file formats!”
“use the VCRs!” “what’s a VCR?”
“yeah, who would know a guy super into stealing things has a lot of stuff”
“not again! cant i go like two seconds without losing my elemental power?!”
“hey guys, do you know who’s totally lame? unagami that’s who!”
“anyone who likes jay that much can’t be normal”
“ninja vs bushes!”
“great! now i can see what i’m looking at, and it’s even worse”
“how do you get a ninja to cross the road? by saying ninja go!”
“that was a terrible joke” “you got a better one?!”
“keep those shoulders back! find your center!”
“lead with your hips!”
“nobody puts cole in the corner!”
“it was time for these two gumshoes to beat feet”
“she had saved my nindroid bacon”
“you are beginning to get on my nerve circuits”
“my heart did not reveal that! every part of me is annoyed!”
“is the mechanic doing your detective thing too? this is just weird!”
“if only this were a pizza joint. pizza would never betray be like this!”
Season 13
“it’s like… like, totally super cool!”
“pfft, that’s gotta be made up” 
“AHHH NOT MADE UP NOT MADE UP NOT MADE UP!!!!”
“it’s not that we don’t believe you…” “i don’t believe him :)”
“hey buddy! hey there. name’s cole, ninja. i heard there was some jerk down here, chaining people up, making them work. you seen any jerks around?”
“baushau it’s in mouth it’s in mouth babbbuuhwv i think i’m gonna barf”
“we aren’t skeletons! i mean we have skeletons obviously, but there’s so much more to us. like veins and organs and stuff” “i have none of those things”
“my first notion as chancellor is for everyone to stop THROWING STUFF AT ME!”
“oh great! now i’m hanging from a skeleton who’s hanging from a root! and i’m talking to myself again”
“don’t think about how gross this is, don’t think about how gross this is. ohuwha i’m thinking about it. i’m thinking about it!”
“you!” “shall!” “not!” “be granted permission to traverse beyond this point!”
“eat my dust!”
“i’m looking at the skull, it’s not as ugly”
Season 14
“zippy!! let’s call him zippy!”
“how can i be a gift?” “yeah? who would want jay?” “uhm… me?”
“we’re friends remember? i’m just a jay”
“i happen to think i am quite valuable thank you very much!”
“you’re gonna see the inside of a jail cell for this, ronin”
Season 15
“this is somewhat troubling”
“we’re being haunted by the ghost of some butler! probably named ducklesworth or something”
“jay honey, that reminds me. i need to teach you how to bleach your boxer shorts”
“zane, you don’t require a breathing device.” “yes, but i like how it completes my attire”
“THIS IS NO WAY TO TREAT A TOURIST!”
“The citizens of bubbletubbuleopolis will not be pleased!! this will affect your tourism!”
“your chair does have a seatbelt, jay”
“cake is usually the answer to everything!”
“that is what i just said! why are you repeating me?!”
“yeah! take that you big worm!”
“SHE THINKS IM A CHEW TOY!!”
“think, what would zane do? actually no. think, what would kai do?”
so yeah i’m deeply in love with this show
138 notes · View notes
its-me-im-coraline · 3 years
Text
NSFW Alphabet // Damiano David
words // 1468
warnings // clearly smut
pairing // Damiano x Reader
author's note // if you want to be on the tag list let me know. sorry if this feels rushed but i want to escape the heat and the laptop brings too much of it
request // yes, through a reblog i cant find
summary // self explanatory
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
I feel like Damiano is pretty good at taking care of you after but a lot of the time he is the one to require the aftercare. He gets kind of insecure after sex, like I don’t know… He will require some kind of confirmation that he did well, that he did not hurt you, that you loved him. Generally he needs reassurance sometimes.
His hands were now wrapped around you, after everything that went down, all the spanking and the harsh words, he needed to feel you close, to let you know that he didn’t mean all that.
“Are you ok, mi amore?” His voice was soft, tone ever so gentle, his fingers rubbing small circles on your arm.
“Exhausted, but yes, I am perfect.” The little smile you gave him was all the reassurance he needed.
Suddenly he became a little more confident, small ‘I love you’s escaping his lips as he tucked you under his arms.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
I feel like Damiano’s favorite part of himself would most likely be his face. Honestly it might sound a little weird for me to say this but I feel like that's it, ok. Like, he can convey all his feelings through his face, he can lure you in so wonderfully with his facial expression and oh well he’d love it if you sat on his face or simply used his face to get off, regardless the position.
Now as for his favorite part of you i feel like it would probably be your thighs. No matter gender, he would find your thighs to be such a turn on, any time and anywhere.
(this will refer to pussy-bearing reader lol so yeah, sorry for that, I can’t think of a gn scenario with thighs)
He was being driven insane all night. He knew it was a bad idea to take you out after that stunt you pulled that morning with the ‘accidental’ not-wearing-underwear-under-his-shirt incident. He had not given you what you wanted then so you were planning on getting it now.
Your thighs were adorned with thigh high stockings, garters and all accompanying them. You knew his weakness and you’d play with it till the end.
For the whole night, Damiano tried to not react. He did not want to seem like he’s possessive or overbearing or whatever else, so he let it be for a while, but after one point it had gotten too much, he could not take it anymore.
“Amore, I think it’s time to leave,” he said, loudly enough for your friends to hear as well.
“Oh, but why Damiano, I want to stay a little longer,” you whined, receiving a little spank on the back of your thigh, thankfully the music could cover it up.
“If you want a chance to ride my face, you’ll come with me, or else you can wait to have an orgasm for another week.” this time his words were quite enough for your ears only, the idea of what he’d do later was not something he wanted your friends to have.
“Yeah, now that you said it, I’m getting a bit tired. Ooof my feet hurt from dancing. Goodnight.”
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He’s pretty big on seeing him cum on you. I think I said something similar for Ethan but Damiano is full on messy cum. He does not care where you are, what you’re wearing, whatever, he will cum on you. On your face, your shirt, your underwear. It does not matter. He’s like the type of guy that goes like “oh you want it, amore? You want my cum? Tell me where you want it,” and then will come where you direct him to.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He kind of wants to see you get fucked by somebody else while he watches… He is kind of scared to express that, not knowing how you’d feel
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
I’d say a good medium. He’s experienced, he’s surely not new to this, but i don’t think he has had that many sexual partners. He feels like the guy that needs a connection before he can have sex, at least most of the times. So he is experienced enough.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
I feel like he’d enjoy mostly well you riding his face, your legs up his shoulders as he fucks into you or kind of entangled, your right leg over his right hip and your left between both of his (its called ‘pretzel dip ffs)
he want to be able to feel your thighs all over him
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He some times is goofy when he is close to cumming and he starts the whole “where do you want it”. Some times he would crack jokes.
Generally i feel like he is goofy in bed
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He does not care to much but he could possibly trim it down if its too bothersome when you suck his dick.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He can be very romantic if you want him to but most times he’s kind of goofy as i mentioned. The very intimate moments are very specific. After a romantic date, on an anniversary, your or his birthday and so on and so forth
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
He masturbates a lot, cause he thinks about you a lot. Some times he’ll see old photos of you two before he left on tour and he gets turned on by your thighs
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
well as i said he thinks of you being fucked by someone else and him seeing you, so id say a bit of voyeurism and cuckolding. He’s a switch so he’s only dominant when there is no one else to be dominant, so the idea of someone fucking you and shaming him while doing so is kind of a hot idea some times.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
He will go anywhere you guys are if he can’t stop it. Seriously quickies at club bathrooms are too common for you two
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
As I already mentioned: thighs. If you are wearing thigh high anything, short tight dresses, short shorts that are tight around your thighs, garters, tight jeans, tight dress pants… Anything with your thighs kills him
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He prefers giving it. Like yeah, he loves it when you give him oral but he seems like the type of man that for example eats pussy for his own pleasure. I can seriously imagine him coming home from working at the studio and he’s stressed as fuck and (after getting your consent of course) he’d lay between your thighs and start giving you oral.
“But Dami I’m reading a book.”
“So? Continue. This is not about you. I’m stressed, it’s about me.” You’d simply just laugh, knowing very well you won't be able to concentrate on your book.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
he is usually quite fast. he doesn’t exactly love the slower pace. the slower pace is for when you guys are extremely intimate, as i talked about before, or if he is teasing you
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He is down to experiment with most things. He is very comfortable with his sexuality so he does not mind most things, except some few ones that he finds a bit disgusting (no offence)
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
I feel like he would buy you a toy that he can control from far away and he’d get one for him that you’d control so you kind of mutually jack off each other while he’s on tour or either of you is away for days.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Enough to show you punishment but also enough to receive one at times
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
He’s pretty big. Not too much (overwhelmingly much like Ethan) but big enough to be considered big. Above average
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
He gets horny pretty easily ig. With all the adrenaline from shows the moment he sees you he’s ready to jump your bones.
tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina @the-killer-queenie @makapaka11 @teenyweenynightghost
138 notes · View notes
moonshine-dan · 4 years
Text
Quick Bite (p.1)
Osamu x GN! Reader, 2.5 K
Warnings: Odaxelagnia (biting kink), explicit sexual situations, swearing
Kinks: Biting, dry humping/thigh riding, coming untouched, handjobs, praise
Synopsis: 100% Smut. You tell Osamu you have a certain kink. He explores it with you.
The way I'm such a whore for this man now 😔 @crocyoota i blame you for making me a full time Osamu simp. Also thanks for beta-ing exactly one line of this lmao
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Osamu's mouth closed over the pulse point at the base of your neck. Softly, he mouthed the skin there, warm lips feathering over your taut muscles stretched in anticipation of his next move.
He had you in his lap, palms smoothing circles along the outside of your hips and sweeping up to clutch your ass. Long fingers pressed softly into you, pressing tiny patterns into your flesh. He mouthed your neck tenderly, traveling languidly up your throat, dragging his soft lips along your jugular before arriving just below your jaw. Another soft kiss there, just a touch more intent than before. You shivered, hands roaming his chest and winding into his hair.
He was teasing you, intentionally or not. Your early morning makeout session before you both had to work usually involved more tongue than this, but you had recently told him about how sensitive your neck was and how you wanted him to try marking you sometime. Of course he was going to take his time and work you out, to memorize what made you moan the most so he could do it better next time. He never half-assed anything, but fuck if you didn't want him to go faster.
Osamu is oblivious to your desires. He continues to graze his lips down the opposite side of your neck, starting again as he reaches your collarbone. He was pressing just a touch harder now, contact a little rougher as he mouthed your throat. You shift slightly, your pulse jumping as he finally introduced his tongue. He lapped at your clavicle, licking his way back up yet again to meet your jaw. ah. You can't help but sigh and tug at his roots as the muscle traces a path below your ear, the spit cooling and making your skin impossibly more sensitive.
He stays there, pressing light kisses to the tender skin and tracing shapes with his tongue. You're tingling, already a little lightheaded from all the light touches. He brands another shape to your skin. A triangle? He's made that shape a few times, but now he's adding…. No. He's drawing a tiny Onigiri on you with his tongue, the pattern unmistakable. You drop your hands from his hair and start to say something, but Osamu was waiting for you to figure it out- he was ready, cutting you off by mouthing the same spot and sucking.
And oh, how you had been wanting this.
A pleasant buzz is building in the base of your skull. When Osamu sucks down, lips working into your neck, it builds a little more, fuzzes the edge of your vision and radiates down to your fingers. You flick them idly, remembering belatedly that you had a perfectly hot boyfriend to be groping. Sliding under his arms, you reach his back and massage the muscles there with your fingertips. His skin is golden under yours, hot and receptive to your touch. 'Samu grunts in appreciation at the attention, the vibrations adding to the suction he's applying to your neck. ghh.
He continues, mouth open and tongue flicking as he slides over your throat to catch up on the other side of your neck.
You push into his lap further unconsciously. Heavy hands on your hips stabilize you, one leaving to snake up your spine and grab at the hair at the back of your head. He grips sturdily and eases your head to the side for easier access to your neck. The buzzing in your skull gets louder still.
You're rocking slightly now, thighs flexing as you ache for something more. The hand on your waist grips tighter, trying to still you as Osamu worked his lips over a spot he had bullied before, suctioning up and scraping his teeth over the heated skin. "Hahh… Osamu..." You groan into your shoulder, his mouth pressing into the skin he had just abused, pulling it right back into his mouth with an obscenely wet sound.
The necking has all your blood rushing straight south, emptying your brain of any thoughts besides rutting into him. Everything he does, the way his tongue teased your sensitive skin, to the bruising pressure of his lips that brought the wet heat of his mouth to you: all of it drives you out of control.
He released his lips with a wet pop! and sighs lightly, the cool breath flowing over the heat from your overworked neck causing you to jerk into his lap further. You feel the rumble of his chest before his deep baritone reaches your ears-
“Quit squirmin’.”
He finishes his command by leaning in and biting down on the bruising skin he had just pulled away from.
The moan shocks one of you more than the other. The bite has the opposite effect Osamu wanted, sending you rocking further into his lap. Your hips cant up, mouth slack and eyes half-lidded, pulse throbbing where his teeth had made light intentions in your skin. You know what? Fuck it. You had time before work, and Osamu clearly underestimated how into this you’d be. You grind down onto him again, angling for his half-erect cock.
"Please, Osamu," you pant out, practically begging, "do that again."
You can feel his dick twitch in interest at your words. His grip on your ass becomes bruising as his fingers knead into you intently. He leads your head up to meet his, observing the way your face flushed darker, pupils blown so wide you could barely see the iris.
"You're really into this, huh."
He was nosing into your neck, breath ghosting over the fresh bite and driving you crazy. Yes. Was your request not enough? You hoped he wouldn't make you actually beg. The hand on your ass squeezes, making you squeak. It quickly changes to a moan as he bites again at the thin skin below your ear.
"I'm kinda startin' to see the appeal m'self…"
He shifts minutely. From below, you feel his erection, solid. Throbbing. Fuck, finally. You grind into his length and finally hear him groan. The sound makes you push down harder, eager to hear what other sounds you could pull from your boyfriend.
You snap your hands to his waist, bracing yourself as you fling a leg over his thigh to push your own into his cock. Osamu's grinding into you eagerly now, groaning, friction mutually given between you both. His hands find your sides and he splays his fingers, rubbing lines up the planes of your ribcage. Every tense of muscle creates a delicious pressure that's building in your core alongside the buzz in your skull.
He slides his hands over your chest, cupping you with both hands and squeezing before joining with his mouth, kissing your sternum. He brings one of your arms to his mouth, kissing the underside of your wrist tenderly. His teeth press in lightly as he swipes his tongue over the tendons. Your pulse thrums, electric.
The tension in the air changes subtly, stilling you for a moment. Osamu peers up at you with a discerning gaze. You met his eyes, mildly concerned at the sudden shift in mood. What was he looking for?
"You're so sweet, darlin'. So sweet to me. Think I'm gonna call you melonpan from now on."
His eyes are teasing. Your ears are burning. This asshole did not just call you fucking melonpan.
He catches your eyes and wrinkles his brow, cheeky grin splitting his face as he took your expression in. He just wanted to see you blush. fucker, you think, cheeks flaming. It worked.
His eyes sharpen with a predatory look.
"I wasn't a hundred percent honest, babe. I'm sorry. It's actually because I wanna sink my teeth into you."
True to his words, he bites into your neck, targeting the hickey that was developing.
Oh. Oh. Maybe the nickname was ok, actually.
Your breath and your thoughts quickly leave you. It's impossible to talk, to even think, mind too focused on the sensation of Osamu sucking the bruising bite on your neck.
This is what you had wanted, but you hadn't expected it to feel quite this… debilitating. The pleasure crossed with the pain in a way you could only describe as delicious, your nerves alright with conflicting signals. Your brain, quite literally, did not know how to process it. The result was the ever-encompassing buzz that was spreading from your skull to the rest of your body.
Ghhh, is what you manage to verbalize.
Osamu hasn't stopped, teeth finding old marks to push into, sucking and rolling the skin and muscle of your neck to the point of bruising. He brands new ones where he hasn't, leaving a patchwork pattern of hickies like a collar for anyone to see.
His tongue swipes along your heated skin, the wet heat soothing where he had previously teased. He grinds into your shaking leg, precome smoothing the friction as he ruts into your thigh. You're shaking, and he knows you're close, even without his hands or his cock. To see you coming undone with nothing but his mouth and his thigh? christ. Osamu's head isn't as big as his brother's, but it's almost enough to make him cum right there.
He's eager to see what pushes you over the edge.
"You're doing so good, baby, fuck," Osamu says into your neck, sucking loudly at the skin. "So fucking sweet, baby….. skin's so fucking sweet….." he bites down, hard, at the base of your neck and feels how your body freezes, every muscle tightening, tremulous. He chews, rolling the muscle under the skin as you cry out his name.
"hah, god, Osamu….!"
Your vision blurs, whitening around the edge. Your body is locking and you suck in a deep breath involuntarily. Is this a stroke? Are you dying? You've never felt this kind of brain failure during sex before. Oh my god, oh my god, fuck…!
Your release hits like lightning straight to your core. Your abdominals tightened, the buzzing in your skull intensifying and pulsing as it races through you. You arch backwards, tensing, eyes rolled back and grinding against his thigh. You shake as the sensation passes through you like an electric current, your body locking up in tension and pleasure simultaneously. Holy shit. Coming has never felt quite like this before, numbing you just as much as it brought you to ecstasy. You can't hear anything but the blood rushing in your ears as your muscles throb, your whole body tightening and relaxing, leaving your muscles burning deliciously as the buzzing finally begins to fade.
Your forehead thunks against his shoulder as you go boneless in his arms. Distantly, you think your legs are shaking.
Holy shit.
He didn't even touch you.
You need a minute to catch your breath.
Before you can though, Osamu is pushing you backwards. You hit the covers with a muffled thwump and he’s above you before you can blink, leaning into your space on his left arm as the other reaches down to stroke his cock.
"Y’can’t just give me a show like that, baby, what'd I do to deserve it?"
He drops his head to your chest and licks along your clavicle before drifting lower and sucking a hickey onto your chest. His right hand speeds up, pumping faster as he marks your chest again and again. His mouth finds a nipple and rolls it with his mouth, scraping it roughly with his teeth and sucking hard, making you jerk up from the bed slightly. It's almost too much, creeping up fast on overstimulation, but you focus. You still haven't gotten your mind one hundred percent back online from your previous climax, but you manage to reach down to cup his balls and tug gently.
Osamu's head lolls to the side and he groans. This close, you can see the sweat beading at his temples. Squeezing lightly and rolling your palm, you tug again, tapping your fingers lightly across the back. His hips snap forward fervently, your touch finally pushing him over the edge. "Comin'...!"
His words cut off into a low groan as he comes undone above you, hips stuttering, fucking into his fist. Osamu angles his cock down at you as he climaxes, hot ropes of his cum painting your stomach white. You dimly think that he's now marked you two entirely different ways.
A hand at your cheek makes you look back up. Osamu's looking at you with an emotion in his eyes that defies description. He leans down to catch your lips in a chaste kiss, thumb swiping up to catch the tear handing onto your cheek. Huh. You hadn't even realized you'd been crying. The hand retracts, and Osamu pulls away and drops to the bed.
He has enough of a mind not to flop down into the mess he just made, instead falling to your side with a sigh, eyes shut and thoroughly blissed out. He squirms until hes slotted next to you, one arm thrown across your chest. His breath puffs into your hair and tickles your ear. Your eyes slip shut as well.
...
You're content to lay there for hours, but the cooling jizz on your abdomen eventually incentivises you to get up. You untangle yourself from Osamu and push to the edge of the bed. Looking for all the world like a newborn deer, you wobble on unsteady legs to the bathroom in search of a warm washcloth.
Osamu's peace is short lived, eyes flying open at your shout:
"Fucks sake, Osamu! We have to open in an hour! How am I gonna work front of house looking like this?" You emerge from the bathroom, now clean of cum but covered in bruises of varying darkness from the neck down.
He blinks owlishly before shuttering his eyes and smirking.
"You literally asked me to do that, baby. Said 'please' an' everything."
You have no response. He's completely right, and that only makes you angrier. You toss the washcloth at his dick and tell him to get cleaned up.
You both make it to Onigiri Miya with minimal issues after that. Unfortunately for you, the summer heat prevented you from wearing anything that could come close to covering up the hickies above your collar. And when more socially oblivious customers would ask what happened to you, your response was to point a finger at an unusually smug-looking Osamu.
"Ask him."
Fortunately for everyone, none of them felt the need to actually ask him.
You were gonna get his ass back so bad.
1K notes · View notes
hitoshisbabygirl · 3 years
Text
Author's Notes ♡: Hey Hey, it’s me, ya girl and I’m back with another collab! Ive always loved the roommates theme and have a few ideas for some other ones in my head making this. It’s kinda all over the place because it was a professing with their friendship! Yes I made a Zelda reference and I land about it no. I know Rapp is seen as violent and dense but but this is in a collage au so he’s just a bit...aloof I just love the idea of him actually being a big softie ʕ⊙ᴥ⊙ʔ. I hope you enjoy! ~ bunny ❥
Warnings : NSFW!!! (◎_◎;)
Sweet caring sorta himbo(meh?) Rappa, female oral, Big Dick Rappa , sorta size kink if you really sqint,cheater ex mentioned like once , language
Word count : About 5k! Yikes ^^’
Paring(s) : Kendo Rappa x F! Reader
Enjoy ♡
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Having Kendo Rappa as a roommate is an interesting feat in itself. He is big, and loud , very very loud. He wasn't a bad roommate he just..was like a cute large and fluffy puppy that didn't know his size...or power. Their interactions started as the two met during a halloween party one of the frat houses down the street thew. [ ] went as Midna, her best friend Rumi was dressed as Impa while the last two of her friend group , Amaya and Asa, a pair of sisters, were dressed as fairies. “[ ]! Rumi! you two are so cute! Zelda costumes?” Asa asked as her sister ran up to admire their outfits. “Yeah! [ ] wanted to do some characters that matched us y'know?” She said as she nudged her quiet friend , the girl jumped and laughed , scratching her neck as she gave the excited sisters a small smile “If i was coming out tonight I was gonna wear what i wanted to really wear” [ ] said as the group of them laughed and mingled with their other friends and classmates. While heading to get juice , she heard loud screaming , as the sport boys were starting to show up. First was the football team, then the basketball. Baseball and wrestling came next, then the smaller clubs finished them out. Sighing [ ] was content away from everyone as she watched mayhem ensure, chugging of barrels , more music, girls swarming around the players they crushed on as they did minor things, like talk to their teammates or eating from one of the big food trays laying around. Feeling a tap on her shoulder broke her from her people watching, Rumi giving her a bright smile as she took a cup and joined her. “How's my favorite antisocial babe doing now that all of the party has arrived?” She asked as [ ] gave her a pained smile, going to get more if something to drink “Well I don't feel the need to smack anyone is that a good sign?” she chuckled as she got a hug from the more energetic girl “That's my girl! Don't worry, i wanna get out asap but we’re gonna need our favourite pair of sisters before that can happen and it seems like they're fawning over some of the baseball boys as we speak” Rumi said as they watched a familiar tutu of blue go by, followed by a pink one going a similar way. “I don't get it… but at least their taste in men isn't too bad” [ ] joked as Rumi agreed , laughing “Yeah miss tsundere, you can't stand saps, or most of the jocks either” giving the white haired girl a look she rolled her eyes and gave her own laugh back “Yeah I guess i'm either picky or just got high standards” “Ain't nothing wrong with that we all do!” She said as she elbowed the girl beside her.
As the two of them sat there and talked Rumi glanced past her and her eyes widened, causing [ ] to stop talking “What is it-” before she could question her, the white haired girl jumped up, waving at someone “Rap! Over here!” Constantly yelling to someone [ ] started to ask again when a booming voice came from above her “HEY RUMI” a very loud voice called as stomping could be heard before it stopped “I see you took our idea huh?” With that comment [ ] turned around only to be face to face with a dark cover chest, only to then look up to some of the most warm and amber colored eyes looking down at her “Hello there little lady, I like your costume! Erm..Midna aint it?” The giant ganon dressed man questioned as all she could do was shake her head in agreement, causing the giant male to laugh “Awe don't be shy of me kitten i ain't gonna bite!” He chuckled some more as her friend jumped in “I told you she was shy! Be nice Rappa!” Rumi yelled at the flaming red head as he gave her a toothy grin “Oh I was just teasin’ , I bet I ain't hurt her feelin’s did I sweetheart?” Rappa questioned as [ ] face felt hot, hiding her face in her hands as the teasing duo laughed causing the girl to huff “I'm tired of you two already” She said as a giant warm hand touched her shoulders “Awe dont be like that hun, in time ya’l love me” Rappa teased as he gave her a smile,making her stomach flutter “Yeah! This is who wanted you to meet anyway [ ]! This is Kendo Rappa, our top wrestling boy, Rappa this is my adorable best friend [ ]!” Rumi said as the two gave each other a shy smile , a sly one creeping up on Rumis as she thought to herself “Yeah, this'll definitely happen”
Since then the two had become more acquainted , having many classes together and sharing some similar friends [ ] was used to the bruting and sometimes dense man making a random ( and loud) appearance. As [ ] sat in her mostly empty room thanks to her last roommate moving out after constantly breaking sound rules and getting into it with the girl downstairs for being in her bed with her boyfriend (Yikes) she felt a sense of calm. Closing her chemistry book and letting out a relieved sigh [ ] thought about the fact she was going to get a new roommate, the thought was nerve wracking but also it was exciting as well. It was almost too quiet , having the last room by the stairs meant she didn't have to deal with many people besides her friend group. They weren't loud , unless one of her friends decided to get laid and made way too many sounds, or if their neighbors under them threw parties or also had...extra partners coming around. She definitely could feel she was sorta excited she was going to have a roommate again. The sisters had a room to the left of her while Rumi had the one to the right, sharing it with a girl they knew from math. The rooms were not gender defined, some girls having rooms with guys and vise versa so it made it easy to get a room.
These dorms were also quite spacious, the walls not paper thin and a large enough area space that could house two or maybe even three people. So when she heard a knock on her door she expected it to be her new roommate she was advised would come today. Happily opening the door she was shocked and almost terrified to see just a box, well actually a few boxed stacked hiding whoever it was behind them. But if the faed rustic orange hair and wide shoulders meant anything she knew her new roommate already “K-kendo?” [ ] said as the boxes walked by her , landing with a soft thud as bangs covered the male “[ ]? Is that you?” moving his hair out of the way their eyes had the same expression, shocked. “Uh h-hey there sweetheart why isn't this cute, we’re roomies hun?” he laughed as she couldn't help but give him a smile back. “I never expected to see you as my roommate” [ ] teased as Rappa gave her a hardy laugh “Well it looks like me and you are gonna be close friends here darlin’!” With a wide smile he picked her up and gave her a tight hug, taking her breath away ‘ Oh boy i wonder how this will turn out’ she thought as she was eye leve with her giant puppy like friend, his eyes filled of joy
Which leads into now, [ ] trying her hardest to read up on what her next project could be. As she sat there thinking she heard the tale tell sound of her roommate entering with some of his teammates, the boys loud and rambunctious as they entered. Feeling a heavy hand on her shoulder she looked up to the towering boy that was her roommate, his eyes just as bright as usual. “Hey darlin, we're just gonna talk up sum strats a for the upcoming match and play some games in the back , is that alright?” He asked with pleading eyes as one of his more cocky and jock like friends spoke up “Well youre the man here, dont let some women say if we cant or can be here” Rolling her eyes and proceeding to stand up and push past the wide eyed boy who knew what was going to happen. [ ] took in a breath before opening her eyes to look up to the boy “Well it is my room, i pay shit here and the man over there didnt get this place, so i do choose who can and cant come through my place” She said as she pointed a finger to the boys chest. Trying to push his luck he pushed back against her finger “ I bet you just haven’t gotten a good enough dicking for you to just stay out of the way” He laughed. Before [ ] could hit him hard enough her rust haired friend moved in , clearly towering the boy “Yer better watch yer mouth, she has her right around here, im invatin her space so watch it before there's no place for any of us to relax without rules” He said as the boy sucked up any laughing and nodded his head in understanding. Surprised by her usually aloof roommate [ ] stood back and went back to her work, the other boys scrambling behind kendo as the boy who tried to challenge her jumped to follow, never making a move to mock or do anything again.
The boys picked back up and were having fun in the back room of kendo’s , sighs and groans when they lost and victorious laughs and screams if someone won. Once they all left and everything settle to a quiet rumble as the last few funneled out [ ] could here herself think, reading up on chemistry as she felt a presence behind her. “ ‘M sorry, i didn't know my question wouldve cause a roar outta ya..” Kendo started as she smiled gently, turning to face the wounded boy “Its okay….guess it just lit something in me i always did y'know?” She said with a small laugh as she went to type again, but was stopped by the hulking boy. “I gotta make it up to ya alright? I know i aint say anythin that he did but…. It feels like my fault y'know?” He admitted as his large hand covered hers. “You wont live this down will you?” She questioned as his eyes flickered up to hers, sparking. “Nope, not at all. Lemme treat ya right okay?” For such innocent words [ ] couldnt help the shiver that ran down her back at his words. Maybe it was because he was so close, or that the smell of his cologne was too much, either way her head was spinning as she let him still hold her hand as he tugged her away from her computer , his smile widening as she reluctantly shut the bright screen “Great! Now let's get something to eat im starvin” He rasped out as [ ] gave him a giggle that made the boy stop in his tracks. He always thought she had a cute giggle but this one,for some reason , made his heart and chest feel warm and tight. Ignoring the feeling he took the girl with him, the two headed out to get something to eat as they headed down , the sound of her giggling still running though kendos mind.
Getting a random frantic text from Kendo wasn't unusual, in fact it was quite common for him to do such, which now didn't faze [ ] at all but this one was...particularly odd giving what he was asking ‘Hair? And messy? What in the world is he up to’ [. ] thought to herself as she headed to her shared room with the boy, nervous of what scene she could be entering.
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Sighing after his last text she hurried her way to their dorm room and in fact he did leave the door open, making her more nervous as she entered the living room. “Kendo?” [ ] called out as she heard a gruff sound come from her bathroom. Entering was a sight of its own; towels, a bowl of some..substance , bags and bottles of body wash and a one flustered and shirtless Kendo. “[ ]! ‘M so glad yer home here take this” The large man said as he handed her an old toothbrush that was frayed and covered with the same odd substance in the bowl. The lingering smell from the room eventually gave it away ; shampoos. “Uh why do i need this? And why is there shampoo on a toothbrush” She questioned as he groaned, taking the towel off his head as she blinked owlishly at his very faded red orange hair, the color now more of a neon pumpkin. Shaking off extra water caused even more of his hair to fall, landing between his shoulder blades as he gave [ ] a desperate look. “It wont come out, and the more i scub the more...orange i become. I look like a orange peel” He whined as [ ] figured out what he was trying to do
“ You wanna remove the color right? A bowl of shampoo and body wash isnt strong enough” Going into their kitchen she grabbed some baking soda and lemon juice , coming back to the hopeless boy “Let me mix something up ive used before okay? Then we can proceed with your hair” Two and a half hours later the boys hair was now a light peachy orange, just light enough to take up with bleach “Well, if were gonna go for blonde ill go get some bleach and some masks, deep conditioners too, your hair is definitely gonna need it and I don’t want it breaking off because you're impatient to take care of it” she sighed as he was amazed at his hair, running a large hand through the still damp mess atop his head “Wow yer good” He said as she smiled at him, taking her keys “And you have a lot of hair. I'll be back” She said as she hopped up “Wait! Lemme go with you?” He asked but also seemed to demand, pleading eyes looking down at hers as wet hair dropped onto his still bare chest.
Trying not to be hypnotized by where they landed and proceeded to slide down she looked up at her amber eyed friend, who was staring intently as he waited for her answer, soft “Please?” coming from his lips. Sighing dramatically on purpose [ ] laughed at him, giving him a grin “of course you can you big puppy” she said as he picked her up in a hug, a gesture that shows his excitement she's come to learn. Putting her down he went to go to the door before his friend called him out “uhm Kendo? You don’t have on a shirt” she said plainly as he looked at her, raising a brow as he gave his rebuttal “Its hot” He responded. Giving him a side eyed look she turned from him and towards their bedrooms, [ ] sliding into his. Soon she came out with a sleeveless one, throwing it at the hulk of a guy infront of her “You can't come in the store without one” She said as he gave a growl of his own, sliding the shirt over his head as they left their apartment “Well at least ya got me one without sleeves” He huffed as they started back to the door, heading out to finally go to the store to start another process on Kendos hair, the male just excited to finally get rid of his pumpkin hair.
As Kendo sat in the shared living room with [ ] , deep conditioning his hair at her yelling request (‘If you dont re nourish it before you want me to bleach it , I won't do it!’ ) he watched his roommate and now his best friend wanderer around and do housley things for their apartment, the girl content as she cleaned and sorted out things in the kitchen, her body turned away from him as he started to think over how beautiful he thought she was. He want the type to brag or gloat about having so many girls comment on his size , height wised and well sometimes other ways , trying to tempt him to them. All while his friends wanted him to explain how he got the attention from the other gender , Kendo hated to admit it but ,he only wanted his roommates' affection. He knew how put together she was, smart and kind. He saw what her previous boyfriend did, a cheater that didnt take care of the beautiful soul he lived with. He couldnt stand seeing her come home and cry herself to sleep broke his heart, and when he fought the cheater, in the act he didnt feel bad once. Of course it ended their relationship, and [ ] yelled at him for fighting , explaining how he couldve ended in jail for fighting her ex, but he argued it would be worth it.
Sitting and mulling over everything he realized Rumi was right, hed do anything for [ ] but not the same for the other females that passed through his life. She actually, was the first person he did that for and that thought made his head dizzy. Moving from his place on the couch he went to stand in the kitchen, waiting for [ ] to come back from her room. Hearing the iconic sound of her feet pittering across the wooden floor he gave her a lopsided smile as she jumped, smacking into the chest of Kendo. Before [ ] could fall from impacting with his chest he caught her, holding her arm to his chest. “K-kendo! You shouldve told me you were in here! Why are you in here anyway?”[ ] scolded as he laughed, moving out of the shorter girl's way as he started his staring again, this time [ ] noticed him “......What?” She asked as he looked down at her, an unreadable look on his face. “Kendo” she called as he hummed, moving closer “Yer gorgeous” Kendo blurted out as [ ] started to stutter, eyes going wide. Taking teo steps forward he essentially trapped his friend between the corner of their kitchen canopy. “Remember when I fought that bastard of an ex you had?” Kendo asked as he saw [ ]’s eyes go soft , shaking her head “What about him...i'm still mad you almost lost everything just to fight him yknow” she huffed as he poked her cheek “Id do it again if it meant you'd be happy again yaknow” Kendo said as he leaned down to push his head against hers, amber and [ ] eyes mingling. Lifting his large hands he traced each side of her cheek, analyzing over her face as he nuzzled against her nose “Stop playin hard to get would ya? Bad enough you got my heart all in your little hands” he whispered as [ ] just started at the giant , her arms gently coming over to cover his that were place on her cheeks “K-ken..i need to start you hair..” She hopelessly try to argue as he groaned, burying his face into her neck. Squealing at his damp hair touching her shoulder [ ] jumped ,pushing the large boy back “Your hair's wet!” She whined as he chuckleed, mo\ving back as it turned into a booming laugh “Oh my ‘m sorry babe , you look surprised” He said as she smacked hsi chest “Go to the sink, i need to rinse the conditioner” She yelled as he hwld his hands up in a mocked surrender, pulling his shirt up and off in one fluid movement. Caught up by him stripping his shirt off [ ] gave him a glance over, the heaviness of him admitting feelings for her in his own unique way still lingering in her mind as the toned and strong back of her friend made her head hazy. Turning around from the lack of notice of his smaller friend Kendo caught the eys of [ ] staring, her eyes quickly flickering to his curious ones as he grinned “See somethin you like darlin?” He teased as she grunted, reaching up to push his head in the sink “Shut up and let me do your hair”
And like clockwork, Kendo rappa was an icy blonde after two days, a break given to his long ,thick and wavy hair, the giant boy looking over his new look as he sighed happily, loving to have his hair finally look normal. “Well damn [ ]! Ya made it even better than what i was thinking. Look! My hair’s all wavy at the ends and it's soft! Whatever you made me do made it feel better!” He raved as the girl looked over her work. And in fact it was highly even, his hair consistent and lavishy soft. Giving him a shy look she giggle “That's what a deep conditioner will do to damage hair and the way i'm always untangling your hair for you, i knew it would need it before you wanted to go white” She said as he just kept running his hands in his hair, turning back to her “I could just kiss you right now!” He blurted out as they both froze at his words, eyes wide from both parties “I-I aint mean it [ ]” He croaked out as she giggled, stepping back from him “O-of course you didnt, why would you i mean aha..”She said as she moved away more , his own words started to hit him as he realized the reverse effect it was having “NO! No, I'd want to kiss you, I really really want to. I just...want it to be on your terms okay?” he said as he grabbed her arm, holding her in front of him as if she'd float away if he didnt.
“Kendo...I..” [ ] started as she came back to his hip, laying between his legs onto his thankfully covered chest “I just dont want to lose you if you decide you wouldnt want me around” She whispered as he pulled her even closer, kissing her forehead as he stared at her “Dont you ever say that again ya hear me? Youll be my princess and ill be your humble er..knight” He hesitated as he tried to think of a sweet way to explain his feelings. [ ] looked up to him as she felt here eyes feel heavy with tears. Before one even fell Kendo pushed his lips as soft as the strong boy could, wrapping a large and beefy arm around her waist as he slipped his tongue in her mouth, letting his hand slide down to pull her up to sit on the tops of his thighs while he leaned against his dresser. Softly [ ] pushed her hand on his chest and pulled away, now eye to eye with Kendo “Sorry , d-did i overstep my place” He asked as she let out a snot, before laughing. Confused, Kendo went to talk before she stopped him “No no, youre good, just that if we keep kissing on this dressed there's gonna be a hole in the wall” She said as she pointed to where the mirror kept tapping a spot, scrapes already aroring it “R-right!” He laughed too, picking her up to set her on his bed “Now then...lemme serve you princess” He said before kissing her again, not letting her rebuttal his own comment. As the two kissed he made sure to be as gentle as he could be , at times clumsily nipping her lip or his hand pulling hard at her clothes.
All in the name of wanting to show how much she meant to him. Soon he pulled away, a small string of saliva strung between them from the hearty kissing. “[ ]...i think i love you” He said as she gave him a soft look , trying to catch her breath from the dramatic kiss they came from “Good, because i love your loud ass too Kendo” She teased as he smirked,leaning down to bite her neck, causing her to moan loudly “We’ll see whos loud after im done wit ya” he gave his own tease back as he moved between her plump thighs, kissing the flesh there as he pulled her shorts to the side, exposing her flushed lower lips. Gasping she reached for his hand that held her legs apart causing the fresh blonde to look up at her, eyes wandering over her face for signs of him to stop “I-Im not used to being this bare sorry..” She whimpered out as it dawned on the other side of her words “Have you ever ate out baby?” he asked as she hid her face from him, shaking ehr head as he groaned, pulling her shorts down as he saw her lacy panties , a smirk placed on his lips as he peeled them off too, a string of arousal keeping them plastered to her lips “fuck, that bastared really didnt take care of you” he growled as she sat up to see his darkening eyes kiss up to her lips whispering out a “but i will” as he sucked one of her lips into his mouth, causing a lound moan from the woman he was inbetween. Slowly he licked up her lips, searching for that small pearl as she whined, a hand coming down to tug his hair. Grunting he soon found it, sucking onto her clit as she gasped, her thighs shutting over his head as he looked up to her, watching as her back arched off of the bed once her pressed his tongue hard against her clit. Softly he let a hand run under her thigh, a single thick finger tracing over her twitching hole as he pushed it in gently, making [ ] squeal. “K-Ken!” She called out as he looked up again, catching her eyes and flushed face on his actions. Making a show of what he was doing he let a second one join the first as he sucked hard on her bud at the same time making [ ]’s eyes roll back as her hand fell from his head, nervous od pulling too hard. Kendo however had other plans. Feeling her walls tighten around his fingers he made sure to find that spongy spot and hitting it, finally pulling his lips from her clit as he smiled “Uuh Uh doll, look at me” He growled as she hesitantly glances at him, regretting that she did. He looked way too good, hair a mess as he was panting, catching his breath from being down on her. With evry pump of his fingers his muscle in his arm twitched, making her own walls spasm as she watched it “Ya like it sweetheart?” He asked as she shook her head, watching him move back to her pussy “Good, cause i aint done” He said as he gave her clit kitten licks beofe slurping on it, throwing a wink at her as he picked up his pace, making [ ]’s voice rise as she felt herself getting close before quickly snapping at a particular hard thrust of his finger to her spot on her walls.
Letting out a light scream she came over his fingers and tongue, the male laughing gleefully as he sucked up her juices. LEtting her come down some he watched her face as bliss spread through her body and a sense of confidence whent though his. Slowly he picked up the pace of his fingers again, going from a shallow push to more stroking as he heard [ ] whine, grabbing at his hand “Uh uh sweetheart, you taste too good fro me to only let you cum on my tongue once” he said as he pushed her down by her stomach, letting her take his spare hand as he went back to suckling on her lower lips. He knew he had a lot in stored for her, and watching the newly admitted love of his life cum from his pleasing was enough for him to realized he needed to do more. Popping off her clit as puling his fingers gently out he looked at her ravished body, using his non wet hand to pull at his sweats. “Youre beautiful like this [ ]” kendo said as she took in heavy breaths, feeling her throat close as he stroked his massive size, rubbing the swollen head as he looked at her , giving her a soft smile “Ya dont have to take me just yet , hes just throbbin too much” He groaned as he twisted his hand hard over his leaking tip, feeling himself throb as he laid back on his bed. “Ride my face?” he asked with one of the most sinful looks [ ] had ever seen ; lustful eyes watching her as his large hand stroked his larger dick, the soft and fleshy muscle jumping at watching her crawl to him, throwing a leg over his neck
“I-i dont wanna suffocate you..” She said as he smirked before saying “Ya cant suffocate me i want it” Soon he grabbed her hip, pushing her onto his awaiting mouth as he picked up his pace, sliding his tongue into her twitching hole as she rocked her hips, keeping a steady pace as she held herself on his shoulder and headboard, ,depreate moand and cries tumbling out as he rocked her too, going from her clit to her dripping entrance, stoking his dick harder and harde as her moans spurred him on. Soon he felt the bud in his mouth twitch and throb harder, the sounds [ ] made increasing as his own hand sped up with his throbbing head, the telltales of them both getting close. A moan erruptred from the girl on his lips as she came again , her essence running down his face as he groaned, ropes of cum shooting onto his hand and stomach as he came himself, still stroking out what he could as the pressure he felt subside. Sliding off softly [ ] saw the mess behind her, taking it upon herself to lick up some of it as she was met with his same aber eyes, watching her move to his still hard member “Let me take care of you too?” she asked shyly. Fuck he was done for as he felt himslef hardend worse at her words, a large hand coming up to smack her ass as he psuhed her up and over his head, letting his tip and her swollen lips run over eachother. Slowly he pushed his tip past her budding lips, entranced by the way it swallowed her whole “Fuck...i love you [ ] and by the time im done with ya...youll know it” he whispered in her ear as she felet him push, more and moreof his large size spreading her lips father than shed ever had. Her eyes rolled up as she felt him bottom out, both moaning as he picked up his pace, making a soothing rhythm as little moans and whines came from [ ], deep grunts coming from Kendo as he kissed her shoulders and back, marking where he could as he felt himself get closer with how she was throbbing over his member.
Digging his fingers as deep as he could in her plush hips he let our a mantra of ‘Cummin’ i and ‘ I love yous’ in her ear as she pushed back against him, feeling herself teetering as he pushed as deep as he could go ,letting himself cum as she came too, the overwhelming feeling of him throbbing against her spongy walls and previous orgasms enough to push her over a third time. “[ ]” Kendo rasped as [ ] hummed , feeling her legs still shake with him in her “Im serious, i'm never leaving you...you're mine and i love you…” kendo said as he kissed the back of her neck, nibbling her ear as he stayed in her “Mhm….i love you too Rappa..”
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dr3amofagame · 3 years
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Hello, idk if you’ll see this, nor do you have to take this request. But I’ve been thinking, and thought up: Dream joined the egg, but not because it offered him world domination or a happy family or any of that; no it offered to treat him kindly, to be affectionate, to be a friend, basically offering him human decency. (With an add on of everyone believing it was for some big reason, but the actual reason gets revealed somehow) if that made any sense. (Idk if this counts as an au or not)
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[ask: if dream showed up to the red banquet, that would be very sexy of the writers to make him join the eggpire instead of the pro-omlette]
hehe egg!dream has so much potential ,, this is a ficlet i’ve been working on for a while (writer’s block my detested) but i finally finished it up !! it’s a bit unpolished but oh well - they cant all be winners lmao 
tw: body horror, blood, injuries, implied torture/abuse, starvation, possession, dark/disturbing imagery, dark content, pandora’s vault/prison arc 
Dream gets corrupted by the Egg, because of course he does.
Sapnap trudges through the vine-filled hallway, his face bundled firmly with a holy-water soaked bandana to keep out the worst of the spores. It’s a shoddy defense, but he doesn’t plan to stay long; he’s only been sent on reconnaissance, to see what public enemy number one is planning and get out as quickly as he can. As much as the entire server wants Dream dead, trying to defeat the man the first time was enough of a feat, never mind with the power of a giant demon egg on his side - to try and fight him now would be practically impossible.
The floor squishes underneath his boots, and his lips curl in disgust; the vines are thick and moist and feel ugly and rotten to the core. He can’t imagine anyone being anything but repulsed by the things, but he guesses it makes sense for Dream to be drawn here - corruption attracts corruption, it seems. It only figures that Dream would be desperate enough for power to let himself get possessed by the living - if you could really call it living - embodiment of decay and deterioration itself. The feeling of the floor giving way underneath his footsteps has another wave of revulsion crawling up his throat, though he’s not sure if it’s directed towards the Egg or his former friend or both.
He reaches the end of the hallway, an itching, pulsing feeling of wrong filling the air in the room just beyond the haphazard archway carved into the stone. With careful hands, Sapnap draws the bandana further up his face, making sure that it is tied securely behind his head - just beyond this wall lies the belly of the beast, the heart of the rot slowly but surely spreading its influence over the entire server. Something hums in the air; whispering, otherworldly sounds pierce through his armor and settle beneath his skin; he pushes on. He knows better than to listen, to try and make sense of the words within the noise - from what he’s heard, by the time you understand what it is saying, it’s too late.
He steps inside; the room feels, for the lack of a better word, red. He’s better suited for the place than most, being a Netherborn and therefore more used to the oppressive heat and heaviness of the air, but there’s something undeniably wrong about how this place feels, something entirely Other having made its home in the room. Every inch of the place feels hostile, angry, hungry, recognizing him as someone foreign and wanting nothing more than his destruction. Unlike the Red Forests, which teemed with life - piglins and hoglins and giant fungus - this room is little more than a twisted mimicry, sucking the air dry, leaving little more than husks behind.
His hand immediately goes to his sword, drawing it with a dull, metallic scrape. The room is eerily silent save for the Egg’s hissing whispers, and he frowns; he’d expected an attack, but the room is still, quiet; a mockery of peace that only makes the uneasy feeling in his gut grow further. He trudges forward, watching against the puddles of lava and smoking magma scattered over the floor, but nothing stirs.
There’s a growing pressure against his skull with each step into the room, and his hand tightens on his communicator; they’d set up a stasis chamber, just in case things went south, his way out of this place only a few button presses away. Still, nothing moves; no Bad or Ant popping out of nowhere, weapons in hand, no Dream driving an axe between his shoulder blades as he’s done so many times before in their spars. There’s only the sound of his footsteps against the rotting growths on the floor and his own heartbeat thudding in his ears and the Egg’s warbling voice, beneath it all - beckoning, almost kind.
He swallows, throat dry, and moves forward.
His feet carry him to the back corner of the room, to the rotting, pulsing core of the wrongness plaguing the entire server. Even through his bandana, the air feels foreign, nearly choking him, and he strains his eyes against the glare of the lava to look up at the vines’ rancid heart, the Egg. Up close, it’s almost underwhelming, only about three times his height, hardly coming halfway up to the ceiling of the room. What it doesn’t have in size, however, it makes up in sheer presence; the hissing whispers in his head grow louder, crawling under his skin and between his bones, and he curses under his breath as he prepares to call for his way back. Dream isn’t here; the mission is a bust.
“Sapnap?”
He freezes.
It takes a moment to realize that the voice wasn’t in his head, as raspy and unsettling as it was, and his eyes traced the edges of the Egg to a dull colored shape at its side, completely overlooked in his initial sweep of the room. He watches, a dull horror rising in his chest, as the shape moves, twists around on itself in an entirely unnatural way like a marionette pulled by its strings. A pale dot rises from where it had been hidden against the bright red of the Egg; it’s a face, Dream’s face, covered in clawing vines, stark against the bone-white of his sun-starved skin, vomit racing up his throat at the sight of the vines having made their homes in jagged wounds all over his face and neck and disappearing into the torn scraps of his prison uniform, each one spilling crimson in the form of writhing vines and thorns instead of blood.
“Sapnap,” Dream says again, his mouth moving with the words but something entirely other having made its home in the air of his lungs, a shivering rasp to his voice that lifts and falls with the same desperate hunger that saturates every tainted inch of the room. His neck tips to the side, shifted over by a twisting vine tangled within his hair and wrapping a crown of blood-red thorns over his forehead, tendrils drooping over his face and framing the gaunt edges. “You came.”
“Dream-” the anger comes back, familiar, at the other’s words - the same red-hot rage that had boiled within him in that first and only prison visit (you took so long) but it dissipates as fast as it comes. Dream - if this remnant, this shade, this corrupted, mangled half that seems more corruption than human can even be called the name of one he had once considered his best friend, his brother - stumbles closer, held up by the vines that twist over his shaking legs, one having the pale, ragged edge of a bone clearly having ripped through skin - and Sapnap does throw up, this time, dragging the bandana from his face and heaving bile all over the floor.
“What happened-” he cries, flames licking up his arms in defense when his friend-turned-monster-turned-this steps closer on a wreck of a leg that should not be able to bear weight, stumbles back to a roaring in his ears-
He is mine he came broken came shattered and I gave him everything I gave him his heart’s desire I am his savior his grace he asked for warmth and he asked for comfort and he asked for nothing but for someone to take his pain and he is mine he is mine he is mine
He freezes, hand tightening over his communicator; Dream stares at him with the one dull-green eye not covered by the vines splayed over his too-pale face, mouth moving but no sound coming out. The roaring, angry sound in Sapnap’s ears grows louder, follows the shape of Dream’s lips come join your friend come with me I will give him to you you have failed him once but not again not again he is mine but you can be mine also and you will be together together together
“-pnap! Sapnap!” Puffy’s words crackle over the communicator, harsh and loud and snapping him out of his thoughts, “Pull the switch, Sam! No, he’s not responding- pull the switch-”
The world dips, and he heaves in a shattered breath, lungs finally full as he breathes in clear air for the first time in what feels like an eternity, hacking coughs pulled from his throat as he tears the bandana off in one sputtering gasp for breath.
“Sap- Sapnap,” Sam pitches his voice low, comforting, a hand rubbing up and down his back, but all Sapnap can see is the skeleton of a man held together by red thread, the life leached from his skin and leaving nothing left, he asked for nothing but for someone to take the pain and he is mine he is mine he is mine-
“Sapnap,” Puffy’s voice is tinny with concern, “What happened? You stopped responding and the time passed so we pulled the switch on the stasis chamber- are you alright? Did he attack you?”
“I-” -you have failed him once but not again not again you will be together- “I need a moment.”
He scrambles away, feet carrying him away from Church Prime, away from the Holy Land, away away away until he’s standing on the Community House roof, staring at his hands at this home, destroyed, this home, rebuilt, this home, empty and wrong and a shadow of house for a shadow of a man, a shadow of a friend found, a friend lost- and sobs.
What had he done?
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Text
Warning: mention of death of a loved one.
Todays concept is MC gets a call that like their parental figure has died one way or another and this upsets them greatly because one, they aren’t there to help with anything two, the only people there to do anything are their siblings three, they considered said parent a angel or a blessing by god (optional/bonus points if said parents name means angel-)  They don’t say anything at first though they seem rather angry and now one can figure out why. then they hide and have a mental breakdown to cry in hopefully but unlikely peace.  now I shall write the response headcanons / scenarios or whatever I will do Update: well I didn’t write a scenario / short story bit for all of them because i ran out of energy to do so and then i never went back to it, though if anyone begs or askes nicely I could in theory maybe work something out. this was something self indulgent and was something i wrote to really get me out of a bad headspace.  Lucifer
He is the first one to realize something is wrong, especially if they aren’t a very angry person. 
probably doesn’t get to ask about what is going on because he is forced to deal with something else and rather quickly
though when people start inquiring where they went after lunch, finding it unlikely that they would randomly choose to skip class or something he makes his goal to find them.
Probably doesn’t take him long to find them after he starts looking. gets it in the first three guesses of where they are hiding.
“why are you hiding here with Cerberus?” Lucifer said with a bit of amusement. he figured he would find them here with his dog. just not curled up and cuddling. 
“wouldn’t you like to know” was all they uttered out, having no real energy to argue, or fight. though it was clear they had been crying their eyes out. 
“well something is clearly upsetting you, why not talk about it. nobody else is here to listen in” Lucifer offers to lend an ear to listen to their problems. he was also hoping that by doing so he could get to the root of the problem and deal with it. expecting that he was going to have to knock one of his brothers into line again. 
“I just received some bad news. that’s all. also, I’ll be otherwise located Friday, so like, don’t worry if I’m not around on Friday, I will be back like Saturday, so there is that” They explain, clearly not wanting to get into the details of the so called bad news.  
“otherwise located?” Lucifer inquired as to what the hell they meant by that. 
“yeah, um, I will be visiting - visiting the human world for the day.” visiting might not be the word they were looking for but it was the word they went with nonetheless. 
“your visiting the human world?” Lucifer was surprised to say the least. especially considering he wasn’t hearing about this till now. 
“yeah, i was talking to Diavolo not long ago to make sure it was alright” with a sigh the were back to melting into the side of the dog. 
“normally you are excited to visit the human world, what happened” lucifer wanted to get to the root of the misery they were feeling and he wasn’t gonna sweep this under the rug.
“for fuck sakes, you really aren’t gonna leave me alone till I say it huh? my parent fucking died. are you fucking happy, lucifer? Jesus Christ.” doing everything in their power to hold back a second wave of tears as they add on “my blessing of a parent died. can we drop the topic now?” they said clearly not wanting to hear anything come out of lucifer's mouth as they hardly give him the chance to speak. 
“ah, I see, my condolences” Lucifer was trying to figure out what to say at the same time he was trying to figure out how to cheer them up or at least make them more comfortable. “do you want some Kleenex? how about some water?” lucifer inquired simply.
“water would be nice.” they let out a sigh. 
“im sure your parent was a lovely person. I think it is safe to assume that they’ll end up somewhere where they are safe and happy” Lucifer states simply as he holds a hand out to them to help them to their feet.
“I have no doubts about it. so you don’t need to tell me twice. it just. . . hurts” They says rather quietly. Accepting lucifer’s hand and pulling themself to their feet. 
”go take a seat in my office, no one will bother you in there. I’ll join you soon enough with your glass of water.”  Mammon
This man probably thinks he did something wrong, spends half the day trying to figure out what he did
if its not that he is trying to figure out who pissed them off and who he should be yelling at.
he hates to admit it but he doesn’t like seeing them angry or upset. 
is probably gonna be first to realize that they slipped of to somewhere and start trying to find them right away. 
after checking a few other areas, Mammon finally considers they might have just gone home to hide. knocking on their door and slowly opening it mammon calls out into the room “Oi, human are you in here?”. 
“Go away Mammon” they were heard but very muffled as they had encased themselves in several blankets, clearly sounding like they were crying. unless they choose to eat gravel or something. 
“what’s got you so bumbed out?” Mammon said fully entering the room now know that they were in the room and completely ignoring their request to go away. 
“I said go away, I don’t want to talk about it” They said pulling the pillow to their head in hopes to block out more of the world. so that they didn’t have to look up and face the fact they were a hot mess. so mammon didn’t have to see them like this.
“no! the great mammon isn’t leaving till you say what's bothering you! that way I can fix it for you!” Mammon declared boldly. goofy grin on his face hoping that his optimism would help cheer them up. 
“you can’t fix this. you cant bring back the dead. well unless you use necromancy, but. that's never worked out” They had let out a dry laugh for saying all of this. but now they were holding back tears trying to not cry their heart out for a second time.
“oh human...” Mammon was at a loss of words, though to be fair he didn’t get the time to form a full sentence. 
“I’ll never get them back. they were practically an angel” they sniffled, trying to not sob. “my parent died mammon. what the fuck am I going to do?” they didn’t really expect an answer from mammon. 
“Listen here, the great mammon will deal with all the technical talk, and will make sure you can go to the human world long enough for you to do what you need to. but till then and maybe after, I’ll be here for you.” mammon explained simply. 
after letting out a chocked sob they reached out a hand and grabbed onto mammon's arm. “thank you” they sobbed out. mammon just sat there and patted the blanket pile gently trying to give as much comfort as he could. 
“do you want a hug?”
“please-”
Leviathan
since he hides away and does online classes (Correct me if im wrong) he might not even realize something is going on
unless he messages them and doesn’t get a response. 
will ask if the others have seen them and like will try to figure out where they were last seen.
eventually puzzles together that something is wrong and he should look for them
Satan
He although wrathful himself, isn’t able to see through the anger and might be a little annoyed about them for being so.
though he does understand that there is probably a reason for them being upset. he’ll do his best to figure out what caused them to act this way.
he’s stubborn and straight forward, he’ll probably be direct and ask what is wrong and wont leave till he gets an answer.
or he might occasionally bring it up and keep getting updates with how their doing kind of thing.
doesn’t really have to seek for them when they hide away because he watched them slip away and got worried and followed them
Asmodeus 
he is very quick to realize something more is going on, something more than meets the eye. 
probably doesn’t directly do anything at first other than same some sugar coated words in hopes it cheers them up.
when that doesn’t work, he gets very worried and tries to convince them to do somethings to ‘take your mind off of things’ 
knows exactly where to look to find them. first try!
Beelzebub
one of two ways, he either doesn’t notice anything for the first little bit, or he has a strange feeling nagging him that something is wrong and he tries to figure out what.
once its clear that they’ve disappeared he is quick to start looking, might take a while to find them because he is gonna check everywhere to find them.
bear hugs no questions asked, will try to comfort to the best of his abilities. 
will ask them what they want to do after a while to see what he can do to make them feel better
Belphegor
tbh honest probably knows something is up right away. 
with either avoid it entirely or bluntly ask what is wrong
if he doesn’t get a direct answer or is shooed away he doesn’t have the energy to push for the truth, might be a bit annoyed.
once he hears that they have gone missing it probably wont take him long to find them. 
will sit down next to them and be like ‘now will you tell me what is wrong?’
Solomon
since he doesn’t have the same amount of time with them he may not notice at first. or he does notice ASAP because holy shit what happened why are they so mad.
might try to inquire what is wrong and like use his natural charm to try to cheer them up. 
when he hears they are lost or missing ect. he uses magic to find them as quickly as possible. 
will do a bunch of considerably silly and goofy things trying to get them to smile or laugh before trying to get them to talk about whats bothering them
Simeon 
doesn’t take him long to figure out something is wrong, just one look and he knows
but other wise, he’ll simply ask if you want to talk about it. when bluntly rejected he’ll leave them alone
they go missing during the day? maybe it was worse than he first realized, he’ll go looking for them.
will find them within the hour, maybe a half hour if he’s lucky. 
mans will try to comfort them any way he can.
_____________________________________________________________ sorry, for not doing Diavolo, luke and barbatos, i just didn’t really have the time to do them nor could i figure out how to do ones for them so like aihogdsifh sorry. but i do hope you enjoy this post nonetheless. 
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thefanficmonster · 3 years
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idk if u know him but i just found out that technoblade has cancer and now im really sad but it did get me a lil curious to see a small corpse x reader scenario or headcanons where reader announces they have cancer in the midst of playing with corpse and their friends on stream?
Sorry for the long wait dear but here is your request finally fulfilled. Because of my long queue I decided to go for headcanons and I hope you don't mind. If you want a full fic of this concept don't hesitate to let me know ~ XOXO, Vy 💕
Streamer gang & Reader (Gender Neutral)
TW: Mentions of suffering from cancer, Mentions of hospital visits and hospital treatment
- You had been running late for the stream you and the crew had arranged a few days prior - Because of certain problems with the system at you hospital, you had to attend your appointment that day instead of the day before, the timing clashing a bit with the timing of the stream - You sent Rae a quick text that you'd be late for the event, hoping she wouldn't ask why - And luckily she didn't - Truth be told, it's not like you were going to extreme lengths to hide your illness, you just didn't want you friends seeing you differently - Still, however, you were planning to tell them sooner or later - You always made up scenarios in your head of how it would go and only in a few were your news accepted lightly - You hated that you had to risk all those other, far less fortunate alternatives, but it was what it was and you had zero control of how they’d react so you were practically helpless in that field - That being said, you just let out a sigh every time your mind started going down that route - “Hey guys, sorry I’m late. The hospital messed up my appointment which was supposed to be YESTERDAY. So shout out to them, you guys suck. Just kidding, y’all keep me alive.” - Your friends chuckled at your comment, paying no mind to it as anything but a joke - “Time you switch hospitals then.” Toast nudges you jokingly - “Oh trust me, bro, that would be hella more complicated than just making appointments in my local one. All my paperwork, records, medical history, everything’s there. I can just about imagine how much of it would be lost if I moved.” - Corpse scoffs, amused, “Damn, you make it sound like you’re in and out of the hospital more than I am.” - You playfully roll your eyes even though he can’t see me, “Yeah, well having cancer does that to a person.” - The call goes quiet for a few moments, making you think back to what you just said, turning pale as a ghost, all you blood running cold - “Fuck-” Corpse is the first one to speak up, “That’s fucking horrible.” - “Why didn’t you tell us?” Rae follows him up, voice equally as concerned as Corpse’s, both of them clearly rattled by your confession - As is the rest of the game lobby - You fidget with your hands, your eyes stinging with sudden hot tears that are threatening to spill but you refuse to let them - The last thing you were expecting when imagining the aforementioned scenarios was crying - You thought you had come to terms with it long ago to the point where you can even joke about it but turns out you were wrong - “I-” You begin to speak but stutter because of the knot in your throat, “I didn’t want you guys to...pity me or see me any differently. I-..I wouldn’t be able to stand even you treating me like I’m fragile and overthinking everything you say in my presence.” - Your response is answered by another moment of silence before your racing mind is put to a slight ease by Corpse’s voice travelling through your headset - “Nothing will change, Y/N.” He says, tone still shaky but at least steadier than before, “You’re still the most badass impostor among us.” He pauses, “Pun was not intended, but I truly mean it.” - “Yeah, you’re still the same and so are we, this changes nothing.” Toast says reassuringly. - “However!” Rae interrupts, causing your heart to drop, “Do you promise to never again keep us in the dark about things going on in your life? We’re your friends and we wanna be there for you, don’t keep our hands tied.” - Your heart rose and dropped yet again but did so under the effect of a completely different emotion than before - joy - The tears prickling your eyes are now happy tears, ones you hadn’t let out in years - “I promise.” You say with a sniffle, “And one more thing...” - “Yeah?” Corpse says - “Thank you.”
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