#not becvause i'm not happy for them but more that i'm pissed at myself cause hey fucker what the FUCk is wrong with you

[drowning-in-neon]

every time i feel myself managing to cling to some semblance of feeling like i’m on top of my life, something drags me down again and you know what, you know what, i’m sick to fucking death of constantly doing this if i’m just gonna end up at the smae place i started lmao

#personal #venting #idk #i've been doing so well lately overall with lots of plans on how to get my life together #but not enough motivation to get those things together. that's fine. i can work on it #was gonna save up money to take my cat to the vet cause i'm pretty sure she has some sort of cancer #and then my fucking phone breaks #and the warranty i pay for apparently got me? juack shit. #so i had to buy a whole new phone so now i didn't even have enough money to eat this week #if not for my friends sending me some money i wouldn't have been able to #so fuck taking my cat to the vet ig i have to start saving up again #and i have a job coming sure but it's just a weekend job #and i'll prolly go off unemployment meaning i won't be making all that much #but it's the only fucking job that will HIRE me #i fucking hate.......idk #i don't hate that people i care about or know are successful #but it makes me so upset and pissed off at myself when i see my friends or my brother and how they're so fucking successful #like ones who are able to live on their own and/or have steady jobs and/or are in a loving relationship and/or at an ideal body weight #and just in general have their shit together #not becvause i'm not happy for them but more that i'm pissed at myself cause hey fucker what the FUCk is wrong with you #why the fuck are you so! so fucking useless!! holy SHIT #ugh