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#not bc they ever really thought they could be together
echobx · 2 days
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arranged marriage with Rafe Cameron
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◆ you've known you would marry him since you were children. your parents had made the deal and you couldn't do anything against it.
◆ but Rafe never tried to get to know you much. he wasn't really interested in you, and you not as much in him either.
◆ still you stuck up for each other when you needed to. like when your ex threatened to post your nudes, Rafe took care of it, bc he knew it would taint his image in the process if anything like that was to happen to you.
◆ you hung out with mutual friends sometimes, your best friends being in relationships with Topper and Kelce for some time didn't leave you much choice there
◆ you didn't like his dealing, or how the coke made him act. but you didn't dare say a word about it to no one.
◆ as soon as High School was over the wedding was scheduled and the engagement announced
◆ no one but the two of you and your family had known, which meant that your friends were both excited for you and also a bit angry for never telling them the truth
◆ your floor length bridal gown was a sight for sore eyes, and even Rafe had to admit to himself that he could've gotten it way worse.
◆ it was a nice wedding, and you did your best to act more than friendly towards the man who was now your husband
◆ you danced with him, cut the cake, laughed and posed for pictures. picture perfect just like everyone expected it of you.
◆ and Rafe did the same, and more. for some reason he found it difficult to actually take his eyes off of you.
◆ he didn't like this new feeling that started brewing inside him. the idea that he might actually not need his plan B of having multiple flings on the side just to survive a marriage with you.
◆ no, the way you smiled at the flower girl and how you looked up at him through your long lashes, how gracefully you moved over the dancefloor and made it look like you were in fact floating and the way had not yet restored back to your usual shot drinking to survive a function (something he had picked up on in the last few months of having to plan a wedding with you). all of you made him be more and more interested in you, and that was what really confused him.
◆ he was never the type of guy to fall for anyone just because they looked pretty and smiled politely. but for some reason you did it all and he didn't mind it.
◆ when the night ended and you got to your hotel room, you made it clear to him that you wouldn't sleep with him. ever.
◆ Rafe actually respected your wishes and took the second bed that was part of the huge suit they had booked.
◆ but this just led to him watching you take off the dress and be left with the most daringly beautiful lingerie set he had ever laid his blue eyes upon
◆ you liked dangling yourself in front of him, making him see what he could never have because you had promised yourself to not give into it.
◆ he was your husband, but only on paper.
◆ that's how you found yourself lying in an empty bed, with him across the room from you, similarly lonely tucked into his sheets while doing boring small talk
◆ it was like a very bad first date. the bad part being mostly the fact that it wasn't a date at all, but your wedding night.
◆ you spent the whole honeymoon slowly getting to know each other and not trying to fight him on every little thing he did wrong in your eyes.
◆ once you got back home your friends were bludgeoning you with questions about how he was but you just shrugged and pretended to not care
◆ you didn't wanna tell them that you had secretly started to actually like him and that your body seemed to do even more than that.
◆ it took a whole year for the both of you to admit your feelings to each other. you caving in first and being scared shitless while confessing your love to him.
◆ and to your own and his surprise Rafe said it back instantly, no thoughts about it or anything. it was like he had just waited for you to do it.
◆ that night you slept together for the first time and you were more than impressed by him.
◆ it was like your actual honeymoon had finally started because the both of you wouldn't be seen outside of your own house and estate for a whole month.
◆ you were like bunnies, fucking anywhere and everywhere no matter what or who might be watching.
◆ the staff was scared to even walk into a room without having their eyes closed first.
◆ and over the years some might've hoped you would stop or take a break from how much the two of you wanted each other, but that was not the case.
◆ and with two kids running around and a third one on the way, Rafe was still not satisfied and he was already planning how to knock you up for a fourth and fifth and maybe even sixth time.
◆ for someone who had hated the idea of marrying a near stranger, Rafe and you really were a perfect match in every possible way
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please don't copy and/or post my work onto other platforms! ~e©ho
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lord-squiggletits · 3 days
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One of my least favorite parts of how JRO wrote Optimus is that he wanted so badly to continue his dark and gritty world building making the Autobots problematic, but evidently couldn't reconcile this with Optimus being a Heroic Paragon, so instead he leaned way too hard into "oh Prowl was the one who did this and it was behind Optimus' back" which if anything I think makes Optimus look worse, not better. Because then it's like, okay I know Optimus trusted Prowl a lot as his friend but you CANNOT TELL ME that over the course of 4 million years, Optimus as the leader of the Autobot army who literally would have access to 99.9% of all the records they produce, would never notice or question where some of these odd/inconsistent details were pointing. It just seems really inconsistent with how a real military would actually function, especially regarding Optimus' character, who is incredibly thorough and responsible and wouldn't neglect to keep up with all the details of his army.
Hell, Optimus knows who the Wreckers are and had them on call for tricky operations when he needed them (Stormbringer) so he's literally not at all ignorant of/averse to the use of special wartime units composed of dubious individuals. He's the fucking commander of an entire army, of course he knows that War Is Hell (TM) and no one's hands are clean. That's not even getting into all the stuff he got up to in phase 2/3, I mean everything from the annexation of Earth to OP breaking humans out of prison against Council orders shows that Optimus is no stranger to immoral and/or unlawful means.
It also leads to a lot of annoying fanon where people write Optimus (sometimes unintentionally, sometimes not) as like some sort of ignorant fool who's unaware of the machinations of his own army or has some sort of naiveté of "b-but we can't use bad tactics against the enemy! I would never condone the use of morally gray means in war!" No, IDW Optimus knows perfectly well all of the bullshit he's enacted/condoned for the sake of trying to win the war. Some stuff is definitely out of character for him and was only machinated because of Prowl, but I think this fandom REALLY underestimates Optimus' personal agency/responsibility as the commander of a whole ass army and ESPECIALLY underestimates Optimus' capacity to condone morally gray Bullshit Of War while still being a good person individually as well as, comparatively, the lesser evil compared to Megatron/the Decepticons.
Anyways what I'm saying is JRO may be a good writer but he's really hesitant to make Optimus morally gray and does some asspulls sometimes to justify most of the bad things the Autobots did as "Optimus just didn't know," and since the majority of the IDW1 fandom only reads JRO's stuff they go running with this premise of ignorant/uninformed Optimus when there's evidence elsewhere in canon to show that Optimus is, in fact, very highly aware of the bullshit he's allowed "for the greater good" and the only stuff he was "unaware of" was the stuff he would literally never agree to the ethics of, like bombing innocent neutrals disguised as Decepticons to get them to join the Autobots.
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willowser · 2 days
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I have a thought and I’d like to share (if you don’t mind) - Bakugo with a pro hero partner. Like I feel as though all I ever see is civilian!reader or assistant!reader and that’s great, but I need me a girl boss who kicks ass and Bakugo’s head over heels, like I imagine this person to be so adored and loved as well - like the ideal “celebrity” so kind and sweet, well-spoken, but Villains hear her name they go runnin’ - everyone’s low-key got crushes on her, Katsuki’s wondering what the hell he did to rizz her up and because they’re both public figures, in spite of how naturally private he is, I think he’d feel more comfortable off-handedly making comments about her every now and then, showing up to events together.
Idk it’s just in my head
hello dear !! it's so interesting you bring this up, bc i feel like i actually have a lot of thoughts on this and i guess i've never mentioned them LOL
i think bakugou could have such a flourishing relationship with another pro hero.
like, i really do. i think that it's hard for him to meet people outside of work LOL so meeting/working with another pro hero is, i think, a very natural way to come together. i also think that bakugou would really appreciate reader's hard work ! their passion ! their motivation ! i think that would genuinely be such a draw for him ??? i absolutely think a pro hero relationship would really work out for him, and i have one pro hero reader wip and the dynamic between them is my favorite i think i've ever written, bc they just fit so well.
but i will say that this is not typically a reader i picture for him ?? as my go-to ?? it's always assistant reader aikhfaha LMAO and. i really don't think i have a good explanation why, but. something like—i like to imagine bakugou having a break from it all, and i just don't think he'd get that with a pro hero partner ??
idk !! like, if one of you isn't on patrol, the other probably is, like 90% of the time, and i imagine it's hard to get just free time to be together, bc you both would probably be so busy !! and if you were working together at the same agency or partnering up at random points, i feel like it would be so hard to come home from work and not. bring it with you 🥺 as a pro hero i feel like that's impossible, and were the two of you both bearing the weight of that responsibility, i feel like it would be hard to have a relationship outside of that ?? if that makes sense ?? and i also personally believe that bakugou has had too much pro hero at the young age of SEVENTEEN, so i like to imagine a life for him where he can put it all away, even for a little bit 🥺
you could definitely argue that having an assistant reader would be similar, bc you would still be involved in the hero world, but. idk. i think being there on the sidelines and being in it are different, and i like to imagine bakugou coming home from a long shift and getting to hear about what you did at your regular job or what you did in the garden, where you went shopping, etc 🥺 just. give him some normalcy 🥺
but that's just my personal preference !! though i definitely enjoy the pro hero reader angle !! please katsuki wondering what the hell he did to rizz you up LMAOOO tbh, i think if we ever were fed some kind of love story for bakugou in canon, they would give him a badass pro hero partner, bc i really think he would have a lot of respect for someone that can handle it, not to mention does it well. like. i think he definitely has the loserboy hots for them LOL
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noacfslut · 2 days
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Have you thought about what mechanic Mattys family are like? I feel like he’d have loads of siblings for some reason ❤️
i hadn’t really thought about his family too much tbh i guess because my head just automatically defaults to his actual family 😁 but thinking about his family has me wanting to write girlie meeting his family as well 🥰
bc on your side of things, it’s been a few years since you’ve brought a guy home to meet the family (objectively someone not 12 years older than you with grey hair lmfao) but on his side of things, he has never brought a girl home. bc this is sorta his first real relationship 🥹 like he's just lived a life full of hookups and no string attachments and never believed in marriage/never wanted kids and then he met you and all the sudden became a simp who is already looking at engagement rings and imagining kids running around the shop 🫶🏻
you meeting his mom would be almost the exact opposite of him meeting your parents. whereas your parents are sure to be stand-off ish and skeptical, taking a while to warm up to matty. i think that his mom would be sooooo fucking ecstatic for him to finally bring a girl home that she would smother you as soon as you walked in the door to which matty would scold her for doing so bc he's scared it'll scare you off. but you’re quick to assure him that's it's fine and his mom is right back to pulling you in for a tight hug and chatter of how happy she is to finally meet you and how you’re even prettier in person than in the pictures matty had sent to her before - to which he'd blush at for being exposed for doing so.
his mom would be so quick to pull out the baby photo albums as well and show off several pictures that you take pictures of to keep on your phone forever. the mixture of his moms and your laughter would bounce off the walls as his mom told the embarrassing stories that went along with each picture. matty would groan and beg his mother to stop embarrassing him in front of you to which you cut him off to say "oh no, don't listen to him, please tell me more" and his mom would obviously take your side. matty would hide his face everytime you aw'd and cooed at the pile of pictures thrown in your lap, blushing when you’d lean over to pinch his cheek with a pout as you held up a picture of him as a child next to his face to compare the two, saying that he hasn’t changed a bit. matty would roll his eyes when the two of you would start in on making fun of him for a particularly embarrassing story, saying “if i had known you two would gang up on me, i would have kept you far apart." he's joking, of course. he absolutely loves how quickly his mom falls in love with you - he knew she would considering how fast he did himself.
oh his mom would love you so bad. you two would become the best of friends, so much so that matty is convinced sometimes that his mom loves you more than him. which isn’t too far fetched with the way the first thing out of her mouth during a phone call is "where's y/n?" matty would sigh and complain about how “you don’t even want to ask me how i’m doing first?” to which his mom would indulge him in asking, waiting until matty had caught her up before inevitably asking about you again. matty would huff, passing his phone off to you and sitting there for the next hour listening to the only two women he’s ever loved talk and laugh together so easily. it only assures him further in knowing that you’re the one.
his mom would agree. that very first night that she met you she could see it in matty’s eyes - mothers intuition and all. waiting until you and matty we’re putting your jackets on and walking towards the front door, giving you one last tight squeeze and promising to send you the recipe for the dinner she had made the two of you alongside some more pictures of matty - much to his dismay. his mom would wait until you were walking towards matty’s car to pull him into a hug and whispering to ensure that you couldn’t hear despite the fact you were already pulling on the door handle to the car and sliding in. “i’m really glad that she’s the first girl you’ve ever brought home, she’s even better than you described her to be.” to which matty would nod with a smile, glancing over at the car where you sat patiently in the passenger seat - giving them both a small wave as your heart raced, clear to you that you were the topic of discussion with both their eyes on you. “yeah, she’s pretty incredible, isn’t she?” matty would gush and his mom would smile, so happy to see her son know what it feels like to be in love. “she is. i hope you plan on marrying her one day, i don’t think i’d accept anyone else as my daughter in law.” matty would laugh softly with pink flushed cheeks, quick to assure his mom. “oh trust me, i plan on it.”
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nevertoforgive · 1 day
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★☆★☆my soapghost headcannons☆★☆★
🧼
▪︎most annoying person alive, (affectionate)the type of person to fuck with Ghost's stuff or touch him 24/7 because he wants attention and he'll just sit there and pout if he ignores him.
▪︎loves pet names, he'll use the regular shit (babe,baby,love) but he's also the type to call ghost super specific random shit(he's still recovering from the time he thought it'd be funny to call him Skelator)
▪︎tried to cut his own hair once and fucked it up so bad he just had to go bald for a few weeks(gaz will never let it go and brings it up weekly)(Ghost cuts it for him now)
▪︎waaaaay smarter than he let's on. I mean he's a demolitions expert ffs, and while he acts like a dumbass half the time, he's really brilliant
▪︎It's his dream to ride a horse. He just thinks it'd be cool(he would fall off and get concussed immediately)(gaz thinks it's a great idea)
▪︎grows his hair out after a while even though the guys give him hell for how impractical it is when it's long
💀
•gentle giant vibes (HEAR ME OUT) he's just so rough and cutthroat on the field that when he's around the people he cares about outside of that environment he doesn't wanna act that way(it's the little things though, like straightening Gaz's hat when it gets knocked sideways a bit, or bringing Price dinner when he gets drowned in paperwork and misses it, or gently adjusting the straps on Soaps tac vest even though he could do it himself)he absolutely refuses to acknowledge it and pretends he's a very ruthless scary leitenant
•his love language is acts of service and when he and Soap first get together he doesn't really know how to deal with him because he's never been around someone so damn touchy before
•such a sucker for pet names, he only ever uses sweetheart or love(on very special occasions he might say baby but it's rare)but he absolutely melts at anything soap calls him(angel,darlin,honey,pup,etc.)
•listens to the weirdest fuckin music. works out to classical, but falls asleep to metal. (Also the whole team loves AC/DC bc I said so.)
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
This was way longer than I planned, but it's nice to have somewhere to info dump, so maybe I'll do more later, lol.
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citraniium · 3 months
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Mel and Chell with Christmas drip for secret Santa!!!!!!!! It's my gift for @hunterwolf74 :3!!!!
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ven7s · 1 year
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love stored in decorations
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— scaramouche x gn!reader ; wc. .5k; genre fluff, hurt-comfortish?, modern!au, non-canon information + headcanons
notes. implication/mention of neglectful parents (ei & yae) and lonely childhood. business women yae and ei because i think thats very sexy of them !!! also also idk i kinda hate this but like the CONCEPT of it, just dont like the way i executed it
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"hmm... move it to the left a bit more."
scaramouche lets out a huff but does as you say, moving the fake icicles to where you want it before you shout, "wait, sorry, just a little to the right."
he scowls to himself before looking back at you with a grumpy frown that elicits an apologetic smile out of you. but nevertheless, he moves the icicles once again, much to his annoyance.
he climbs down the ladder and you hurry to hold it, wrapping your arm around his waist once he's finally on the ground, and he does the same back.
you marvel at your house, but not long after you hear scaramouche grumbling, complaining about how cold it is and how he doesn't get why you two have to do this every year.
"because it's nice to see our house decorated. doesn't it make you feel cozy and more… holidayish? besides the kids around the neighborhood like it!"
he scoffs, but you know he acknowledges your words when he starts to grab the string lights out of the box of decorations. you smile and go to hold the ladder again as scaramouche climbs up to further adorn the house.
he gets your reasoning.
he looks back at his childhood, often recalling the memories of him walking back home from school only to see the houses that lined his street filled to the brim with decorations ranging from lights on bushes to huge inflatables and candy canes hanging from rooves.
his favorite was always yoimiya’s, whose parents always went all out, every year.
then he remembers his house. big, but empty, with no air of that fond and nostalgic feeling that holidays so often filled people with.
he knows that his moms are back in japan, attending to their work, ei and yae being far too busy with their businesses to worry about decorating the house for a holiday that only lasts for a month.
he remembers holidays often just being him and his nanny with a letter sent to him from his moms. a few short sentences of "happy holidays! sorry we couldn't make it this year again.. next year for sure! we miss you!"
so, when you first “forced” him to decorate your shared home with you he obliged, albeit a bit annoyed. now, he still feels annoyed, hating the coldness of winter, but he reminds himself that the end result will be worth it, hoping that other kids would feel the joy and warmth he felt as a kid, like he felt when he looked at yoimiya’s.
(and of course, he would never admit it, but he actually finds himself having fun. reliving his childhood dream of decorating the house during the season that filled him with so much dread as a kid with a loved one.)
its all the reason why he’s outside in the frosty weather that indicates the start of december in his rudolph pajamas (matching with your santa pajamas), hanging up ornaments and lights.
once he comes down again, you smile, “it looks great. thanks for the help,” kissing scaramouche on the cheek before leaning your head on his shoulder.
“yeah,” he hums, “it looks nice.”
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a/n: HAPPY HOLIDAYS !!!! hope everyone stays safe !!
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nyxofdemons · 7 months
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i think the best way i can articulate why this episode is my favorite of the whole show so far is that it was so emotionally gratifying i don't even care about the pacing issues
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polaksli · 8 months
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I've seen a number of theories about Aziraphale's smile in the end. My personal take isn't really mush of a theory tbh.
All throughout the last scene he forces a smile a couple of time even though Crowley and him are arguing and he is very much in distress. Something us humans would call a coping mechanism. "If I smile and say I forgive you everything will be ok" (it didn't work last time he said that but everything did turn out ok with the apocalypse)
So the smile in question can mean two things in my opinion. It's either Aziraphale decides to put on a smile for heaven because he is a sTrOnG lEaDer and is definitely not heartbroken right now. Or. He tries to brush off all the painful feelings by thinking that at least he did a right thing by choosing to take the position.
The two don't really contradict each other either.
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heartlocks · 6 months
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to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?
#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened#i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close#and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way#i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao#now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest#and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell#i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop#but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again#i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier#it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men#and i find myself unable to connect with anyone…#i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed#i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it#i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly.#i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad#i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so#i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized…#when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was#like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u#i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function.#plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized#how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone…#i went thru all that for nothing…#and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why#brain vomit
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jessiesjaded · 4 months
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Honestly, when I think about it I've almost never had a crush on a fictional character, it's always two characters whose dynamic I'm obsessed with and people would assume I had a crush or whatever and half the time Id go along with the idea when I was with friends or whoever because that's what they would be feeling but I myself never like. Put myself into the scenario, it's distinctly just a love of a character dynamic.
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bangcakes · 4 months
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#personal#i guess for those following this uh... Situation NDNDNDMMDMX#today was the last day LOL. he was gonna sit beside me during the exam#... but the teacher moved him NDNJDMDMDMDMDMDMDMMD#then.... he finished before me.... i was like oh fuck. but i was like oh what if hes waiting for me....#but i was also like GET IT TOGETHER GURL. UR AT AN EXAM#so i GOT IT TOGETHER (mostly)#and when i finished he was gone 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#HOWEVER.... me n one of my other friends had to work on a group project so we stayed back then went out n ate#she knows i like him. n at some point i was like man... if only he had waited. he could have come with us#n she was like...... !!!!!! he did wait !!!!!!!!!#and i was like WHAAAAAAAAAAAA#so it turns OUT..... that this other guy i was friends with (no longer bc 1. he was using me for my hw and 2. he was mean to the guy i like#DEMANDED to know why the guy i had a crush on didnt answer in the big group chat about dinner n he was like..... uh i have an exam the#day after ??? (and ok insider info here.... he told me he never wanted to see any of them ever again LMAO. so i wasnt surprised at all.#thought it was so fucjin funny bc man he really kept to his word by not answering JDJDJDJJDJDJDl)#but ya he left after that !!!!!!!! so !!!!!! wa !!!!!!!! im just 🥺🥺🥺 !!!!! like he WAS waiting for me but GOD that asshole im just......#>:[[[[[[[[#bc u know !!!! thats not the first time he's (for lack of a better word) cockblocked us !!!!!!!!#but it somewho ends up bringing us closer in a way. idk NDJXJXJJZJZJZJZJZ#im just.... ya i messaged him n we talked for a bit.... he still has an exam left so im gonna leave him alone til hes done#really hope he lets me know how it goes AH#but ya............ idk man idk. im gonna have to grow some huge balls n ask him to meet up. bc if i dont....... lol my only other chance is#graduation in february.............#n e way NDNNDNDNDNDNNDND
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girlcrushau · 3 days
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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mqonlighting · 2 months
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real talk in the tags for a second because i have a crush on a girl and i. a hehe. ahehehe.
will be burying this in reblogs and never touching on it again
#so random disclaimer this girl is like a year older than me and in high school it’s like a nono for older and younger batch to like be#a thing so i know i generally have no chance but i like to live in my own insanity and the progression of my crush on her has been absolute#ly cuckoo bananas. so like it started out as ‘i wanna be your friend’ and progressed into ‘shit they’re really pretty’ to ‘wow ur so??’ to#‘fuck i like them’ and then it died down and then by all golly it came back but more of a hallway crush now which is bearable bc i’m#not really a part of their life?? like we know each other but we don’t wave and shit and we don’t like ever interact that much so i was lik#ok this is fine bc they literally never think of me so i’m just admiring from afar. and the FIRST inciting incident was i request them onig#and i expect to not get accepted because according to their friends they onyl accept close friends and i’m like k this is a bad idea probs#but the worst that could happen is i get left in their follow requests right?? RIGHT?? but then within like two hours of reqing. lord.#i got. ACCEPTED. and they requested back. and suddenly it’s +1 tangibility like ok?? maybe we’re not as strangers as i thought we were#i later discovered i was not that special for this but also?? cool?? anyways for a while it kind of laid dead and we never spoke at all eve#tho i was in their acc now (at this time they barely posted but whenever they did it was so?? funny like they would slap the randomest shit#on that acc) and it was still a hallway crush altho my friends r awful (/pos) people who would always make me pass their hallway and i#would run into them so often but at this point we only ever like exchanged glances and they would walk right past me like i wasnt even ther#but THEN the second incident happened which was basically we had to play instruments for this christmas event thing and bc they’re literall#y amazing they played for it and i was roped into it and. i was so gay the whole time. bc who wears a leather jacket to school and gets the#prettiest haircut ever right on the last day before a long break?? and the worst part is whenevr something confusing happened they would#turn to me and this one other person and we’d b laughing together. like we r friends. and they’re so fucking nice they were checking up on#us the whole time i was literally dying i kept dropping my pick and stealing looks AURURUGH and they’re so gen funny and interesting i just#and the first few days of holiday break i just couldn’t stop thinking abt them it was so bad? like that was the moment where i was genuinel#like is this more than a hallway crush… eventually it died back down until the next event we had to play together where they were being SO#SO much more comf w me? like exchanging knowing looks when smt funny happens and that stuff.. at this point i didnt even know what to like#think of my crush on them so i just let it be yk. atp they’re not even waving at me in the hallways at all still so maybe they’re just bein#nice! BUT NO. THAT IS UNTIL I AUDITIONED FOR A BAND (theyr in charge of accepting) AND THEY ACCEPTED ME WHICH COOL BUT LIKE A DAY LATER I#HEARD FROM OUR MUTUAL FRIEND THAT THEY SAID ‘yeaa im so happy i got (my name)’ AS IN IN THE BAND. LIKE. HELLO?? HI U THIUGHT ABT ME?? and#during the first band mtg where everyone’s all awk they kept making eye contact w me and asking if i was good and making sure i got to say#smt before anyone made a decision and it. murdered. me. i’m sorry maybe it’s the fanfic writer in me or this shit is literally nothing and#think they’re just nice to everyone but who cares bc it means they’re nice to ME too. and then last week happened. which was like the nail#in the coffin. INTERACTION ACTIVITY. I IMPULSIVELY ASK IF THEY WANNA B GROUPMATES AND THEY SAY YES. THEY ONLY TALK TO ME AND THEIR FRIENDS.#I ACT STUPID. THEY ALUGH AND TOUCH MY SHOULDER. I ASK ABT THEIR CAMERA AND THEY GO ON A LONG-ISH (cute) RANT ABT SMTH. THEY ASK WHY I HAVE#BIG ASS STACK OF POST ITS. WE TALK. THEY LAUGH AT MY JOKES. SUDDENLY. THEY SAY A FULL HELLO IN THE HALLS. THEY WAVE AT ME A DAY LATER. FUCK
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drpeppertummy · 7 months
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i think leon hates himself enough & is desperate enough & lacks enough confidence to go back to his shitty ex husband if the opportunity ever arose but i like to imagine shel would talk him out of that
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lakecoded · 11 months
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8 shows to get to know me. tagged by @thehitchikerdude :)
supernatural 😔 (self explanatory) (gave me brainworms at 13 AND at 20)
please like me. i legitimately watch this like once a year and sob through the last 2 episodes every time.
black sails. show of all time. a story is true a story is untrue. wough 😵‍💫 have never been able to fully rewatch this show
the oa. watched this in april 2020 and SOBBED for 2 straight hours after finishing the second season because it was cancelled. its SO good and SO sexy (the house in s2 that eats people. my god....) and SO beautiful. forever mad it got cancelled because the cliffhanger makes me so crazy (i simply love when actors play themselves in things). jason isaacs
murdoch mysteries. well this show is not good (and is somehow still running) but i was Obsessed with it in middle/high school which has to count for something
dispatches from elsewhere. this show made me so crazy i genuinely believed the characters were going to walk out of my television screen and into real life. v funny and v heartfelt and also richard e grant is there to monologue at the camera
taskmaster. its fun! i love watching comedians fail to do tasks. shoutout to the guy on youtube who's uploading the new seasons :) also the new zealand and australian versions are v good
halt and catch fire. i watched this while i was quarantining in a hotel for 2 weeks and joe macmillan is the character of all time. keot yelling HE'S A PERSON at my laptop screen because he's real to me
tagging @taros @liapher @bettysweep @blacksails2014 + @werewolfcafe ❣️
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