#norman d wolf
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Chapter 08
While the cops had been called, it was the local news station that got there first. The once empty woods was suddenly full of people peeping, pleading to procure a parable from my personage. Of course, top priority belonged to the victims of the whole ordeal. While I had been busy thwarting the likes of Larry Lemonade, Felix DID find another entrance to the cave.
And with it, Red and Maybelle Fawcett tied and gagged in the back room.
But that hardly mattered now. My more sociable sidekick had set on making them tea to relax their nerves, and once reporters arrived on the scene I had set on retelling the tale with every passion within me!
Unfortunately, the police had arrived shortly afterwards, and with it… taking my attention away from the lovely redhead fluttering her lashes my way. I was prepared to make a fuss about it. Who dared to interrupt the hero who had cracked open the lid on the whole case and thwart the thief?!
It was our old pal Constable Ogol who wanted my testimony first. Her glare was intense, and I’m sure the smug grin on my face wasn’t helping the matter any. But could you blame me? She HAD called me useless the last we spoke!
“Well well well, if it isn’t the Constable.” I greeted her. “ Last we spoke, I believe you were working on a case of your own. How did that go for ya, mac?”
The way she glared down at me, a puff of smoke exiting her nose as she snorted, told me it hadn’t gone well. I’ll admit, her sour mood may have felt kind of nice this time around.
“So, we had the wrong wolf.” She admitted, and I almost couldn’t believe it.
“You’re darn right you had the wrong wolf!” Her frown deepened and she took out her little notepad and began asking her questions.
“Larry Lemonade, huh? What did he want the Fawcetts for?”
She knew why! I’m sure she must have been briefed on the whole ordeal. And if not, well, there were very few reasons anybody snatched up anyone, I suppose. No matter, I wasn’t about to turn down another retelling of my heroic deeds.
“Ransom, naturally. He knew Maybelle’s son just so happened to be pretty well off, and no doubt planned to squeeze him for every dime he had.”
“Uh huh. And how, pray tell, did you figure this out? How did you even find this guy?”
At this I momentarily stumbled. I.. wasn’t exactly keen on sharing the fact I may have dug my own grave, with getting tied to Rumpelstiltskin. But surely she didn’t need to know all that… right?
Right.
I straightened myself up, making myself look broader as I wagged my head with pride.
“Well, if you must know, I took inspiration from you.”
“Me?”
Now this clearly caught the ogress off guard. And I must admit, the way it made her face light up in youthful surprise will be enough to keep me fueled with my gloating for some time to come.
“Yes, you.” I looked at my claws, inspecting them as if the conversation was trite-- a huge contrast to the giddiness I could barely contain. “ It was you that suggested meeting friends down at the pub. Mentioned meeting mutuals meandering about with information. You didn’t believe he was behind the crime, but seeing as I knew it wasn’t me… I had nothing to lose.”
This was followed by a grumble, as Constable Ogol was busy jotting down my every word-- and I could tell she was hating it all the while. Especially as she had to ask her follow up:
“How, exactly, did you apprehend the suspect?”
Ah, my favorite question! I flashed the constable my best smile and answered her inquiry.
“Larry Lemonade was no match for my wit, my muscle...” I pulled out my trusty tranquilizer gun, being careful not to point it at her, and patted it affectionately. “Or my sharp shooting. Yup! One dart from this baby and he was out like a light.”
I took this moment to, perhaps a bit foolishly, spin said gun around my furred finger ... and regretted it a moment later when I heard it fire and felt a sharp pain in my foot. I glanced down, my moment in the proverbial sun extinguished along with the light fading from my vision.
“That’s… not good.” I slurred, even as I found myself falling face first into darkness-- and no doubt into the arms of the looming annoyed ogress.
The case of HOW I got home after the embarrassing fumble… well. Let’s just say that was a mystery for another day.
Right now I earned a well deserved nap.
THE END
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The Best Books
The list is made from an academic point of view. More books may be added or any book may be taken out of the list at anytime.
Books that enlightened, outraged, provoked and comforted us
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, 1813
Emma by Jane Austen, 1815
The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, 1844
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte, 1847
Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray, 1848
Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, 1860
Les Miserables by Victor Hugo, 1862
Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky, 1866
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, 1868
Middlemarch: A Study of Provincial Life by George Eliot, 1874
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy, 1877
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain, 1884
Germinal by Émile Zola, 1885
The Short Stories of Anton Chekhov by Anton Chekhov, 1888
The Ambassadors by Henry James, 1903
In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust, 1913
Dubliners by James Joyce, 1914
The Mysterious Stranger by Mark Twain, 1916
Ulysses by James Joyce, 1922
The Magic Mountain by Thomas Mann, 1924
An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser, 1925
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, 1925
To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf, 1927
Coming of Age in Samoa by Margaret Mead, 1928
All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Remarque, 1929
The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner, 1929
The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas by Gertrude Stein, 1933
Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald, 1934
Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell, 1936
Death on the Nile by Agatha Christie, 1937
Out of Africa by Isak Dinesen, 1937
Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston, 1937
The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck, 1939
Romola by George Eliot, 1940
Black Boy by Richard Wright, 1945
Hiroshima by John Hersey, 1946
Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe, 1946
A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams, 1947
Under the Volcano by Malcolm Lowry, 1947
The Sheltering Sky by Paul Bowles, 1949
The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger, 1951
Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison, 1952
Lord of the Flies by William Golding, 1954
The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway, 1954
Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, 1955
Notes of a Native Son by James Baldwin, 1955
Our Man in Havana by Graham Greene, 1958
The Civil War by Shelby Foote, 1958
Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters and Seymour: An Introduction by JD Salinger, 1959
Rabbit, Run by John Updike, 1960
Where Angels Fear to Tread by E. M. Forster, 1960
The Death and Life of Great American Cities by Jane Jacobs, 1961
The Making of the President by Theodore H. White, 1961
Pale Fire by Vladimir Nabokov, 1962
The Spy Who Came in from the Cold by John le Carre, 1963
A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway, 1964
The Autobiography of Malcolm X by Malcolm X, 1965
Manchild in the Promised Land by Claude Brown, 1965
Against Interpretation, and Other Essays by Susan Sontag, 1966
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote, 1966
One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, 1967
The American Cinema by Andrew Sarris, 1968
The Double Helix by James Watson, 1968
The Electric Kool_Aid Acid Test by Tom Wolfe, 1968
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou, 1969
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut, 1969
The French Lieutenant’s Woman by John Fowles, 1969
Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret by Judy Blume, 1970
Ball Four by Jim Boutton, 1970
The Complete Stories of Flannery O’Connor, 1971
The Best and the Brightest by David Halberstam, 1972
The Politics of Nonviolent Action by Gene Sharp, 1973
All The President’s Men by Bob Woodwad and Carl Bernstein, 1974
The Power Broker by Robert A. Caro, 1974
Ragtime by E. L. Doctorow, 1975
Sociobiology by Edward O. Wilson, 1975
The Executioner’s Song by Norman Mailer, 1979
The Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel, 1980
Follow The River by James Alexander Thom, 1981
Psychoanalysis: The Impossible Profession by Janet Malcolm, 1981
The Fractal Geometry of Nature by Benoit Mandelbrot, 1982
The Last Lion: Winston Spencer Churchill by William Manchester, 1983
The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera, 1984
The Center of the Cyclone by John Lilly, 1985
Great and Desperate Cures by Elliott Valenstein, 1986
Maus by Art Spiegelman, 1986
The Making of the Atomic Bomb by Richard Rhodes, 1986
And the Band Played On by Randy Shilts, 1987
Beloved by Toni Morrison, 1987
The Closing of the American Mind by Allan Bloom, 1987
A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking, 1988
Battle Cry of Freedom: The Civil War Era by James M. McPerson, 1988
The Society of Mind by Marvin Minsky, 1988
Summer’s Lease by John Mortimer, 1989
A Prayer For Owen Meany by John Irving, 1989
A Soldier of the Great War by Mark Helprin, 1991
Mortal Questions by Thomas Nagel, 1991
PIHKAL by Alexander and Ann Shulgin, 1991
Lonely Hearts of the Cosmos by Dennis Overbye, 1991
The Six Wives of Henry VIII by Alison Weir, 1991
Band of Brothers by Stephen E. Ambrose, 1992
The Talented Mr Ripley by Patricia Highsmith, 1992
The English Patient by Michael Ondaatje, 1993
Dreams from My Father by Barack Obama, 1995
Montana Sky by Nora Roberts, 1996
Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life’s Greatest Lesson by Mitch Albom, 1997
War Before Civilization by Lawrence Keeley, 1997
How the Mind Works by Steven Pinker, 1997
A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson, 1998
In the Name of Eugenics by Daniel Kevles, 1998
Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson, 1998
Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri, 1999
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers, 2000
Nonzero by Robert Wright, 2000
Chocolat by Joanne Harris, 2000
The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd, 2001
The Illusion of Conscious Will by Daniel Wegner, 2002
Atonement by Ian McEwan, 2003
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini, 2003
The Known World by Edward P. Jones, 2003
Gilead by Marilynne Robinson, 2004
My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult, 2004
Portofino: A Novel (Calvin Becker Trilogy) by Frank Schaeffer, 2004
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro, 2005
The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak, 2005
The Girl With a Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson, 2008
Lords of Finance: The Bankers Who Broke The World, 2009
Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand, 2010
Washington: A Life by Ron Chernow, 2010
Orientation: And Other Stories by Daniel Orozco, 2011
Books that inspired debate, activism, dissent, war and revolution
The Torah
Bhagavad Gita
I Ching (Classic of Changes) by Fu Xi
Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu
The Summa Theologica of St. Thomas Aquinas, 1266
The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri, 1321
Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes, 1605
Ethics by Baruch de Spinoza, 1677
Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan, 1678
Candide by Voltaire, 1759
Confessions by Jean-Jacques Rousseau, 1781
Critique of Pure Reason by Immanuel Kant, 1781
Democracy in America by Alexis de Tocqueville, 1835
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, 1843
Moby-Dick by Herman Melville, 1851
Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe, 1852
Walden (Life in the Woods) by Henry David Thoreau, 1854
Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert, 1857
Experiments on Plant Hybridization by Gregor Mendel, 1866
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy, 1869
Thus Spoke Zarathustra by Friedrich Nietzsche, 1883
Arabian Nights by Andrew Lang, 1898
The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists by Robert Tressell, 1914
Relativity: The Special and General Theory by Albert Einstein, 1916
Psychological Types by Carl Jung, 1921
Mein Kampf (My Struggle or My Battle) by Adolf Hitler, 1925
Der Process (The Trial) by Franz Kafka, 1925
The Tibetan Book of the Dead by Karma-glin-pa (Karma Lingpa), 1927
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley, 1932
The General Theory of Employment Interest and Money by John Maynard Keynes, 1936
The Big Book by Alcoholics Anonymous, 1939
Being and Nothingness by Jean-Paul Sartre, 1943
The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery, 1943
The Road To Serfdom by Friedrich von Hayek, 1944
Animal Farm by George Orwell, 1945
Survival in Auschwitz: The Nazi Assault on Humanity by Primo Levi, 1947
The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank, 1947
Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell, 1949
The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir, 1949
The Origins of Totalitarianism by Hannah Arendt, 1951
Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe, 1958
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, 1960
Guerilla Warfare by Che Guevarra, 1961
Capitalism and Freedom by Milton Friedman, 1962
Silent Spring by Rachel Carson, 1962
The Structure of Scientific Revolutions by Thomas Kuhn, 1962
Quotations from Chairman Mao Tse-Tung (The Little Red Book) by Mao Zedong, 1964
Unsafe at Any Speed by Ralph Nader, 1965
Catch 22 by Joseph Heller, 1969
The Female Eunuch by Germaine Greer, 1970
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig, 1974
The Normal Heart by Larry Kramer, 1987
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, 1988
The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler, 1995
Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone by J. K. Rowling, 1997
Books that shook civilization, changed the world
The Holy Bible
The Qur’an
The Analects of Confucius
The Iliad and The Odyssey by Homer
The Histories by Herodotus, 440 BC
The Republic by Plato, 380 BC
The Kama Sutra (Aphorisms on Love) by Vatsyayana
On the Shortness of Life by Lucius Annaeus Seneca (The Younger), 62
Geographia by Ptolemy, 150
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, 160
Confessions by St. Augustine, 397
The Canon of Medicine by Avicenna, 1025
Magna Carta, 1215
The Inner Life by Thomas a Kempis, 1400’s
The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer, 1478
The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli, 1532
On Friendship by Michel de Montaigne, 1571
The King James Bible by William Tyndale et al, 1611
The First Folio by William Shakespeare, 1623
Principia Mathematica by Isaac Newton, 1687
A Tale of a Tub by Jonathan Swift, 1704
Encyclopaedia or a Systematic Dictionary of the Sciences, Arts and Crafts, 1751
A Dictionary of the English Language by Samuel Johnson, 1755
Patent Specification for Arkwright’s Spinning Machine by Richard Arkwright, 1769
Common Sense by Thomas Paine, 1776
The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon, 1776
The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith, 1776
The Social Contract by Jean-Jacques Rousseau, 1762
On the Abolition of the Slave Trade by William Wilberforce, 1789
Rights of Man by Thomas Paine, 1791
A Vindication of the Rights of Woman by Mary Wollstonecraft, 1792
On the Pleasure of Hating by William Hazlitt, 1826
Experimental Researches in Electricity by Michael Faraday, 1839, 1844, 1855
The Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels, 1848
On the Suffering of the World by Arthur Schopenhauer, 1851
Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman, 1855
On Liberty by John Stewart Mill, 1859
On the Origin of Species by Charles Darwin, 1859
The Rules of Association Football by Ebenezer Cobb Morley, 1863
Das Kapital (Capital: Critique of Political Economy) by Karl Marx, 1867
On Art and Life by John Ruskin, 1886
The War of the Worlds by H. G. Wells, 1898
The Interpretation of Dreams by Sigmund Freud, 1899
The Jungle by Upton Sinclair, 1906
Why Am I So Wise by Friedrich Nietzsche, 1908
Married Love by Marie Stopes, 1918
Lady Chatterly’s Lover by D. H. Lawrence, 1928
A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf, 1929
Civilization and its Discontents by Sigmund Freud, 1930
Why I Write by George Orwell, 1946
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The Promised Neverland-The Curse:Prologue
"No, this can't be Conny," Emma said horrified, staring at Conny's lifeless body as she and Norman backed away slowly in fear. Conny's body had a large injury on her chest with a red blooming flower on the injury. Fresh red blood dripped down Connny's clothes Into a small pool of blood. Her face was extremely pale with a horrified expression and her eyes were still open.
"It is Conny," Norman said softly looking at Conny with fear and sadness in his eyes.
Suddenly, they heard loud footsteps approaching them. "Quick hide," Norman whispered frantically to Emma as they hid quickly under the truck as the figures approached.
"Ew, you would eat a cat?" a female voice came from above sounding disgusted."If it's a stray," a second female voice said casually. "You have no standards." the first voice said disapprovingly.
"Shut up," the second voice snapped. The second figure walked towards where Conny's body lay.
"I don't think you stabbed it right," The second voice said, pointing to the flower on Conny's chest. "It's fine," The first voice replied.
"Human flesh is so delicious." the second voice said, lifting Conny's body off the ground, and dangling it close to her mouth.
The hands of the figure were very human-like but with long sharp fingernails like claws like a wolf and silver tufts of fur now stained with Conny's blood.
Emma and Norman looked up with terror at the figures looming above them.
The figures were human-like but had small tails sticking out of their uniforms, ears, and sharp teeth like wolves. The first figure had pink chipped nails, had her silky silver hair in a messy ponytail and wore a long black cloak and brown boots with a red scarf. The second werewolf wore a black cloak, brown boots, and a black headband. This can't be real. Wake up! Emma thought to herself.
"Don't you dare, this meat is meant for the rich and upper-class Clover," The second voice scolded.
"Damn," Clover said in disappointment, turning away to roll her eyes at the first werewolf.
Clover seized Conny and placed her in a large glass container, positioning her upside down like a fetus. She pressed the button on the top and frost began to form \inside of the glass. Suddenly, the gate opened, and they heard soft footsteps approaching from the gate.
"Will we be able to harvest high-quality meat for the Tifari?" The first werewolf asked, turning away from her companion and tapping her long fingers on her clipboard.
"Of course, you can count on me." A familiar-sounding voice. Isabella's face had no traces of sadness or anything but instead had a face of pure stone like a robot.
"Wonderful, we will see you In November," Clover said, turning away. Suddenly the first werewolf began smelling the air. "Wait, I smell something," The first werewolf said with her ears perking up and walking towards the truck. She growled aggressively with her ears bent back and went on all fours.
Emma could hear her heartbeat in her ears as Norman grabbed her arm. They slid under the other side of the truck as the werewolf came closer and ran as fast as they could.
Eventually, they saw the distant familiar glow of the house. Emma collapsed Into the dew-covered grass and began to sob hard.
"Our life is a lie," Emma said whispering, looking up at Norman with tears In her eyes. "What are we going to do?"
Norman put his hand on Emma's shoulder and smiled, " Let's escape Emma," Norman said determinedly. "With everyone?" Emma said wiping her tears.
"With everyone," Norman said smiling giving Emma his hand.
Emma rose to her feet, and they made their way to the house without speaking.
I promise that none of my siblings will ever be eaten again. Emma vowed to herself as they entered the house being greeted by their siblings.
A few months later:
Emma sprinted at full speed with Norman and Ray following close behind. The plan was finally in motion. The plan was for Emma, Norman and Ray to escape first to act like bait. While everyone else was distracted the other kids would escape and they would meet at the wall and truly escape from this neverland.
The sky was nearly completely dark like an abyss, with the only source of light being the moon and stars.
In the distance, there was a thick gray concrete wall without any guards.
Suddenly, they heard loud footsteps approaching them. By the sounds of the footprints It sounded like there was more than one person.
They quickly ducked Into some large nearby bushes as the footsteps became closer.
"Come out, I can smell you." Growled a familiar-sounding voice. Emma immediately recognized that voice as being one of the first werewolves she had ever seen. The footsteps came closer until the two figures loomed over them. The second werewolf, which was named Clover, reached into the bushes and grabbed Norman by his legs. Emma and Ray ran out of the bushes where they were surrounded by an army of werewolves.
The werewolves wore thick armour and had scabbards with sharp iron swords on them. All the werewolves had scars and were much bigger than the two others.
"It's sort of cute that you're willing to put your life on the line for him," Clover said laughing, still holding Norman by his legs and bouncing him up and down like he was a doll.
"Let him go," Ray snarled enrage. "No," Clover replied, narrowing her eyes at him with an amused expression on her face.
Ray ran up to her and kicked her shin hard. Clover cried out in pain causing her to drop Norman. "Major Clover, are you okay?" asked a male guard offering his hand. Clover growled menacingly and lifted herself off the ground to look at Emma, Ray and Norman with rage In her eyes.
"Seize them!" The first werewolf ordered the other guards with rage in her voice.
"You want to fight huh, well get ready," Clover said laughing.
The werewolves closed on them making escaping nearly impossible every escape was blocked by a snarling werewolf with their swords out.
Clover angrily grabbed Emma by her neck making it hard for her to breathe.
More guards surrounded Ray and Norman, bearing their teeth as they fought against the two boys. As Ray and Norman tried to fight back, two other guards intervened and restrained them.
"You're not going anywhere," mocked a female guard as she tightened her grip on Norman.
"You three think you're so smart," Clover mocked them as they tried to get away. "You know nothing about the world or felt real pain, Let me help you with that." She removed one of her hands from Emma's neck and scratched her cheek slowly to enhance the pain. Emma screamed in pain as Clover removed her claw from the scratch. The scratch was extremely deep and the fresh blood was dripping onto her pure white clothes. Her head was spinning like a carousel. In the distance, she heard Ray and Norman scream In terror.
Using the strength she had Emma looked over towards Ray and Norman who both had deep bloody scratches from the other wolves.
"Clover," The first werewolf said angrily. "What is it Petunia?" She replied calmly as she dropped Emma. "You damaged the merchandise!" Petunia snarled.
"It's fine, the moon is in 2 days," Clover replied, still calm trying to wipe the blood off her hands. "Besides we can always blame Mama Isabella for this," she said, turning away.
"That doesn't change anything, we'll talk about this later Major Clover," Petunia said coldly as she turned toward the other guards.
"Let's move out troops," "And don't you dare let them escape, we're already in trouble as is," Petunia ordered sternly with an edge of anger In her voice. The guards nodded and grabbed Emma, Ray and Norman's arms. They began walking to Grace Field House.
The moon shone brightly in the sky, in its Waxing Gibbous phase. The only light came from the moon and stars.
After half an hour, they arrived at Grace Field House.
Waiting at the fence was Isabella whose eyes were glued to the ground with a frown as she walked around the gate. When she saw them, her face immediately changed to relief as she saw Emma, Ray and Norman. The werewolves let go of their arms and ran to their mother.
"Mom!" Emma cried happily, running into her mother's arms with Ray and Norman following. Isabella opened her arms as she hugged them. Petunia walked over to Isabella with a stern face.
"You're on thin ice Mama Isabella. Be grateful that we found them before they escaped." Petunia warned sternly with a face of stone.
"I understand," Isabella said looking up at her crying children wiping the blood off Emma's cheek.
Petunia turned away to face the guards who had no expression on their faces except for Clover who had a guilty look on her face.
"Move out troops," Petunia ordered the guards. The guards nodded as they walked away not even looking back.
"Let's get you Inside," Isabella said softly looking at her children as the werewolves were out of sight.
Word count: 1505
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Re-Watch of Conquer, Religion in the Daryl Spinoff, and the PPP Card
@galadrieljones:
Finally watched Conquer tonight. I have nothing to add that hasn’t already been said, other than that I can see why many older theories thought Beth might show up with the Wolves.
Morgan finds that Hannah Fairlight magazine in Coda. She’s a native American singer dressed as such with a wolf tattoo, then the Wolves come along in Conquer with their story about wolf resurrection. “There’s gonna be a party when the wolf comes home,” etc.
Obviously, she didn’t come back. What is the reason for this deceit? So much has been learned since, about tptb and their oblique mannerisms. They never hit the nail head on. It’s usually slanted, in some way.
The Wolves were a red herring, like the man in the poncho. The real enemy in season 6 is hubris. It’s what leads Negan to their door. It’s worth noting that Beth does make an “appearance” in season 6, as Tina, and then Denise. She’s being “resurrected” through other characters, like the wolves of old. Anyway, I am gonna think on this more…
Also there’s some weird dream dialogue in Conquer. In the beginning after the credits, Rick wakes up, and he laughs, and when Michonne asks him what’s so funny, he says to Michonne something curious.
He says, “It’s like the train car. After the whole thing, I’m still there.” Later on he says, “We’re here,” about being in Alexandria, and she says something like, “You just said you’re not.” Sort of weird timing to bring up “A.” Something else I want to think on a bit.
@twdmusicboxmystery:
Yeah, good points about the weird Rick dialogue. I haven’t watched that in a long time, and I’d forgotten that. We know tptb don’t ever waste dialogue or screen time, so they would have inserted that dialogue with a specific purpose in mind.
@wdway:
This afternoon I was just scrolling through some old comicbook articles and there was one from November 21by Cameron Bonomolo that I'm sure that we talked about at that time but there was a little piece of information in there that I don't remember seeing in any other article. Norman talking about his spin-off. Everything else I've heard or read about repeatedly.
He mentions a religious vibe to the spinoff. I thought that was more than a little interesting. The fact that we haven't seen or heard him mention it again might be very telling. Just thought I'd let you see it for yourself and if this is something that you guys have seen other places I really like to hear about it.
@twdmusicboxmystery:
I kind of vaguely remember reading that line back when the article first came out. But you're right. I don't think I've seen it talked about anywhere else. When he says it will be a religious vibe, I envision it being religion like TDVC is religious. Can't wait to see what goodness the spinoff brings us!
@wdway:
Changing gears for a moment. The other day I was just reading comments on a TWD site that had an article about the PPP card. I always read the comments usually more often than the actual articles.
Someone had thrown out the idea that PPP could stand for Philadelphia and Paris but could not come up with a third P. Just thought that was kind of interesting. Although I truly don't think they had Paris in mind back when we first saw the card in the episode Swear but things do change.
@twdmusicboxmystery:
I agree. Gimple had something specific in mind for that card, and we don't know what. I guess I could believe he might have meant Paris if they'd always planned on the French thing, which is mentioned by Jenner in the pilot episode. I just think he wouldn't have known that they would be filming on location. But they might have just figured they would still film in Georgia and "say" it was Paris, like they did with D.C. I don't know. I guess we'll know when they tell us. ;D
@wdway:
How about Project Primrose, Paris? Except I don't think that Paris was Primrose was it? Anyway you could play with this all day and not have the answer.
@twdmusicboxmystery:
Yeah, for sure! Sounds good to me. But yeah. No way to know for certain. But fun to speculate about! ;D
@galadrieljones:
I like this one! Primrose team was based out of France but in Toledo at the time of the Fall, which means they were stateside. I think one of them could have been TB Ellis, since the woman from the Violet Team has a folder full of her papers on her computer, and Primrose Team seems to be the team she thinks could actually find a cure. Also idk if it would make sense but Portland starts with a P. That’s where Major General Beale’s kid is from. Portland Paris Philadelphia = PPP
@wdway:
I love this. Fun to guess what it could mean. We do have months and months to go before we have anything solid to go on. I couldn't remember if Paris was Primose or not so thanks for clearing that up. I do need to go back an watch s2 of TWB as a refresher on Primrose and Team Violet. I was going to wait for a while to rewatch but who knows I might just decide to watch a few out of order episode some afternoon along with Tales of the Dead episode 5? Wasn't that the one with the PPP card? I believe it is.
@galadrieljones:
Yes, it’s Davon with the ppp card. I’m still super intrigued by him. He’s out there somewhere. And so is the madman who shot him.
@twdmusicboxmystery:
Lol. I love that last line you typed. Something that can only be said with a straight face during a TWD discussion.
@galadrieljones:
ROFL
I wonder if we know the madman who shot Davon…? Another creepy thing to hear somebody say if you don’t have the necessary context.
@twdmusicboxmystery:
So true!
#beth greene#beth greene lives#beth is alive#beth is coming#td theory#td theories#team delusional#team defiance#beth is almost here#bethyl
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Pics:
1 thru 3. Perhaps, Lovecraft's greatest creation - the Grand Olde Sleeper of R'lyeh, Cthulhu. Still waiting behind the stage...
4. The Weird Olde Writer who, in the poem being examined, wrote about how he "listened to the... singing (of a) rustic cat."
Luckily, the cat's too evolved to involve itself in baseless bigotry.
1912: Output. Part 2.
Intro: "New-England Fallen" is sort of a retread on HPL's earlier "Providence in 2000 AD." Howard even uses the same type of imagery...
Plot: We start out with the virtues of "Yankee¹ yeomen²." Who are described as "unpretentious", "tidy", "vice & folly spurn(ing)" workers who were "wit(ty)" - but, not "frivolous."
In short, they're of the "busy class."
Then, Lovecraft goes overboard with the self praise.
"(Only) virtues... lie locked in the... British race!" And, "Saxon(s) made New-England great!"
(Now, I know where the Rump stole his slogans from.)
This version is more general than the more personal, newly found copy.
"Fallen" only mentions HPL's "few... studies... with zeal pursued" & his "hours of leisure... discreetly spent."
Then, strangely for an atheist, Howard honors the "blessed" & "noble" local parson.³
This is straight away followed by Lovecraft's 'invasion' of "swarthy... freaks of alien blood" & "Base foreign boors allowed⁴ to dwell... where Saxon greatness fell⁵."
(Wow! Boors⁶. How devastating HPL's racist wit is...)
Howard wraps this up with "low lives... degrade(d)⁷, As monkeys haunt... a palace long decayed."
Now, Lovecraft starts attacking the settled part of its New-England location.
There's "tottering houses scarcely... erect", that "crumble from neglect" & an "empty church (full of) mold."
"Ports (are) sunk in poverty... rotting wharves (lie) in ruin" & "school walls are down... choked in grass."
Even the water wheels, that HPL had earlier praised, now spew "air... tainted by the (sooty) smoke of (noisy) mills⁸."
Immigrants are "wretched" & "dwell amid squalor & repulsive smells." And, they are found to "loaf... around... wine-shops... A vicious crew (now) calling themselves American⁹."
Howard then bemoans "the land... given over to crime & strife¹⁰."
The most poetic line is probably "the boundary walls are shapeless heaps of stone."
Yep. That's how America works! All boundaries are subject to come down.
Notes:
1. Yankee has 2 possible origins:
1a. The earliest is from the Dutch Janke, meaning "John."
1b. The 2nd was recorded by British General J. Wolfe in 1758. This version of Yankee is from Virginian slang - but, they actually got their word from the Cherokee eangle, meaning "coward!"
So, neither original word is British... It was adapted from other immigrants or from a Native American nation.
2. Yeomen were land owners, who also served as aides, followers or clerks for the 'more noble' class.
3. A parson is a Protestant priest getting material goods & payment for being in charge of a parish.
4. Obviously, Lovecraft has no idea how immigration works & didn't look into the subject.
If you want to stay in the U.S., you have a lot of questions to answer & you have to be in good health.
It's best if you already have a skill that's needed & a place to stay...
These rules do change - usually by whichever Party is in charge.
5. Hmm... How do I say this. Saxon greatness fell - way back in 1066!!
Remember, the Normans (actually French Vikings! No, I'm not making this up!!) beat the Anglo-Saxons & took the British Isles.
What happens in such times, is that the regular folks (from both countries) end up 'mixing together'!
Of course, they'll still be some 'pure- bred' Saxons hanging on to their fallen culture.
But, with time, they'll 'fade out' as well. Just like every conquered people, who weren't imprisoned in ghettos or alienated away in reservations, still survive today.
They're more purebred than the rest of us.
6. Boors!! Basically, "insensitive, uncouth & ill-bred persons." In other words, an "entitled white Karen!"
It's derived from the Dutch word Boer, "a Huguenot farm hand" or "peasant farmer."
The modern version Boor, is actually a curse word. It was used to 'sell' the British wars in South Africa, a Dutch colony back then.
7. In the "5th degrade." Howard wasn't satisfied just denigrating other folk. No, he had to take it to the 'ultimate degree'!
Well, I followed along - going down into his rabbit's hole of twisted words.
The 5th definition of "degrade" is the chemical intransitive verb of "to be changed or converted to a less complex form."
So, outside elements, like 'erosion', are key. Or, internal parts are taken away.
Either way, it takes an exploiter or enemy to do this...
8. The 1st American mill was built by Samuel Slater in Pawtucket, R.I. & it was used to spin cotton!
This particular mill employed 9 children (aged 7 to 12) who worked 10 to 12 hours each day!
Weird Shit: Strangely enough, dogs or trained squirrels could also be used to help churn butter, grind linseed oil (for making white paint) & even turned the colonials's fireplace spits...
9. Sorry, wrong again. In my case, when identifying myself - it's as a Puerto Rican.
See I was born there & only grew up with a mostly American education, here.
Even to officials, I'm not called a 'pure' American. They identify me as Puerto Rican-American, Latino or Spanish.
I do speak that language but, I'm not Spanish. That's a different country.
Now, I do have ancestral DNA markers leading back to Spain but, I'm more American than I'll ever be Spanish.
And, I'll always identify as Puerto Rican.
10. The Revolutionary War, the Civil War, Whiskey Rebellion, Prohibition mob wars, KKK murders, etc. All are the result of white violence...
This isn't to say that violence is a white only curse - because there's plenty of it going around, everywhere in the world...
But, here in the U.S. we have a pure 'epidemic' of gun violence that's not easily found elsewhere. Except in all those places we hate to visit or live in.
We're quickly becoming those places.
And, it doesn't help that everyone with a grudge has to use the latest military weapons to get rid of their problems...
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Hello! I'm looking for some masculine name ideas for a Sniper-kin ; if you want to experiment with making it earth/forest/canine themed that'd be really swag
hello!! wasn’t too sure about how masc some of these names feel, but i hope you find something you like regardless!
there's not as much as i normally end up doing, but it's still quite the list so i put them under the cut 👍.
acacia
acacius
ace
ackley
acorn
affie
alaska
alfie
alpine
arbor
arc
archer
archie
arctic
aries
arthur
artus
ash
asher
ashford
ashton
aster
atlas
august
augustin(e)
augustus
avens
avery
bandit
baron
basil
bass
basset
bay
bear
beaumont
beck
beetle
ben
bengal
benji
benny
bentley
benton
berry
birch
birk
blackjack
blaze
blue
blume
bo, boe
bolt
bone
boomer
borage
border
boxer
bracker
bracket
bramble
briar
brick
brin
brock
bryce
bryn
buck
bud
bull
burr
bush
busher
bushie, bushy
butch
buzz
caelum, caylum
callum
cane, kane
canid
canine
canyon
cas
casey
caspian
cedar
cerberus
charcoal
charlie
cheddar
chen
chez
chow
cider
ciel
cinder
citrine
citron
citrus
clay
clement
cliff
cloud
coal
coast
cobalt
cobolt
cocoa
collie
colt
columbine
columbo
columbus
conan
cooper
copper
cove
coy
coyote
crane
crimson
crispin
crow
curry
cyan
cypress
dagwood
dak
dakota, dakoda
dale
dane
dante
darrah
darren
darrow
david
dawson
deacon
dean
declan
den
denis, denys
deniz
denver
derry
dhole
digger
dill
dingo
dipper
douglas
drake
duff(y)
duke
dulce
dune
dusk
dust
dustin
dusty
dutch
dutchen
east
eden
elvis
elwood
emerald
emerson
emery
everest
everett
evergreen
falcon
fallon
fang
farley
fennec
fennel
fergus
fews
fin, finn
finch
finley, finnley
fir
firth
fish
fisher
flax
flint
florence
florent
flynn
ford
forest
forester
frank
frankie
franklin
fraser, frazier, frasier, frazer
frost
gale(n)
gardner
gene
genesis
ginger
goldie
grain
grey, gray
grove(s)
hades
harvest
hawk(e)
hazel
heath
hercules
hive
holland
hound
hugo
hum
hummer
hunt
hunter
huntie, hunty
jack
jackal
jackie, jacky
jason
jasper
jay
jett
joey
jove
july
june
juniper
juno
jupiter
kai
kale
kestrel
kip
kippy, kippie
koa
koi
lake
lark
leo
loch
locust
lodge
lotis
lotus
lucky
lumen
lupin(e)
lupis
mace
magnus
mane(d)
mango
march
marley
marlow
marsh
marshal(l)
matchbox
maverick
max
meek
meer
merlin
mickey
mint(y)
mob(y)
moose
morgan
morris
moses
moss
mossy, mossie
nash
nasher
nicholas
noble
norman
north
nox
oak
oakie
odie
odin
oleander
olive(r)
olivier
ollie
oto
otter
otto
ottoman
packet(t)
pear
percival
percy
perry
perseus
picard
pickle
pine
pongo
prairie
prince
red, redd
reed, reid
ren
rhodes
rhody
ridge
rock(e)
rocky, rockie
roman
ronat
rook
root
rory
rover
rudy
rune
russel
salmon
samsun, samson
scruff
scruffy, scruffie
silver
silvester
skylark
smokey
sol
solei(l)
solomon
sorrel
south
spade
sparrow
spot
spruce
stag
sterling
stone
sun
sunray
talon
tawny
terran
terro
terry, terrie
theo
thistle
thor
thyme
titan
toms
trip
tunnel
turtle
velvet
vulp
vulpes
wade
wane
warbler
wax
waxer
weaver
wells
west
whistler
winston
wolf(e)
wood
woodrow
woodson
woody, woodie
york
zeus
#request accepted | ''Allons-y; Allonzo!''#anonymous request#name suggestions | ''How would you feel about Who?''#tf2kin#tf2 kin
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hi! do you have any sierra simone reccs? I think you said you liked american queen but I wasn't sure if you'd read others?
I love this woman and I've read nearly everything she's written (sans the Thornchapel series and a couple others) and honestly? I would recommend most of it.
The Priest series: All of them brilliantly written, lovely, lyrical, etc. They all deal with some aspect of the forbidden (priest, nun, monk), and how the Bell siblings navigate this. You get the sense Sierra knows her theology as well as she knows how to write good sex on the page. Reading all of them made me genuinely contemplative (when I wasn't shook by the sex, or crying).
New Camelot series: Definitely a little weirder and a lot wilder. It's modern-day King Arthur/Guinevere/a character who's a mix of Mordred and Lancelot. Ash (Arthur) is the President of the United States and deffo an anti-hero so some of the decisions he takes are... unorthodox. There's a lot of twists and turns both external plot-wise and when it comes to their relationship so... consider yourself warned.
Short Stories (Far Hope Stories): All of these are set in England but centered around a secret, ancient place called Far Hope known for it's secret sex magic.
Chasing of Eleanor Vane: Eleanor is meant to marry the hero's nephew, runs for it, is hunted down by the hero Ajax Dartham (who is an uncle, but also a Daddy) and now they're in an isolated cabin while a storm rages on so oh noooo what will they doooo. No but seriously though, the way Sierra weaves such depth of emotion even into all of her short stories is magnificent.
The Last Crime of Peregrine Hind: A highwayman romance; Peregrine is hellbent upon *revenge* against the Dartham family but finds himself being unwittingly (well, wittingly, tbh) seduced by his captive Alexander Dartham, the brother of the man Peregrine is trying to kill.
The Conquering of Tate the Pious: The most iconic nun romance (sorry Tiffany Reisz) with a lady warlord. The nun, Tate, basically bargains away her body to The Wolf, in exchange for keeping Far Hope Abbey safe from the being plundered by The Wolf and her army. It's set during the Norman invasion which I personally loved.
Markham Hall series: Historical erotic romance centered on the relationship between Ivy Leavold and Julian Markham, her cousin's widower. I'd describe it as sexy gothic with a dash of murder mystery and a D/s relationship.
Misadventures With a Professor: Probably a comfort read at this point. Ft. English professor Oliver Markham Graeme (any relation to Julian⬆️? who knows) who has a huuuuuge professorial kink (and a looooot of shame about said kink for Reasons), and Zandy, who's an eager beaver-type training to become a librarian. They have a one-night stand without knowing who the other person is, and when they meet again, they realize Zandy's the person who's going to be his research assistant all summer and it goes from there.
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It’s okay to show a little pride, you know.
youtube
#big bad: a detective story#norman d wolf#felix fox#original characters#pride#I like to imagine Felix has been drinking all day#and is REALLY feelin it now mr krabs#snark art#video
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Ravencroft #1 (2020)
written by Frank Tieri
art by Angel Unzueta, Rachelle Rosenberg, & Dono Sanchez-Almara
#norman osborn#kingpin#misty knight#man wolf#marvel#d man#taskmaster#scorpion#moonstone#hobgoblin#wilson fisk#mercedes knight#john jameson III#dennis dunphy#tony masters#mac gargan#karla sofen#roderick kingsley#wednesday spoilers#comics#wednesday spoiler#spoilers#comic spoilers#comic books spoilers#comic books
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CHAPTER 07
Late evening had crept in by the time we left that unsavory place, but who knew what dastardly deeds Larry had in store for that poor granny and innocent little girl! We had no time to waste.
“Norman, these woods are scary dark, are you sure this was a good idea?”
And, unfortunately, no time to drop off a certain fussy fox back home first.
“Sure I’m sure! Now, according to this here map, Larry Lemonade’s abode should be, uh.” I had to squint. This map was detailed, but the lighting conditions in the forest this time of day weren’t great. “Here.”
“Oh, you mean the part circled in bright red? How-ever did you figure that out? Master detective, indeed.”
“Hey! You were the one who insisted on coming along, I could do without the sass and ridicule, thank you very much.”
I heard Felix sigh.
“I’m sorry, Norman. I’m just so scared!” I felt him clutching the sleeve of my coat. At least, I hoped that was Felix clutching my coat.
“Pull yourself together, man!” I scolded, not taking my eyes off of the map I very well may have bargained my life away for. “A fox afraid of the woods, don’t be ridiculous.”
“It isn’t so much the woods I’m afraid of.”
At this my usually clamorous comrade became quiet, bent against the bulk of my being as if the guy wanted to tackle me to the ground. He didn’t, naturally. Where Felix had me with his heightened stature, I, on the other hand, was the muscle. A sturdy force that wouldn’t be swayed and punched about like a boxer’s sandbag!
It was with this thought I nearly fell to the ground, as I had tripped over a root. Stupid tree, somebody should fine whoever had the rights to the property!
“Norman, be more careful!”
This, of course, was Fox’s way of worrying-- scalding more than a boiling pot of water. I suppose I couldn’t be too perturbed by the guy-- it was his grip that prevented my fall, after all. Felix pulled me to my feet, dusting me off and acting like some pesky preening hen.
“Would you cut that out already?! Sheesh!” I cried, frustrated in equal parts from being annoyed as I was embarrassed. Not that he needed to know the latter. “It’s hard to focus when you’re all up on me, you know!”
This got him to back off, if only enough to fold his arms and “Hmph” at me.
I’d take it.
“And here I was under the assumption your attention was compromised by not watching where you’re going.”
I wanted to retort, but found I had none to give. Felix had a point, this time. I needed to pay close attention to our map, lest we end up lost in a dark, dangerous forest. But that left me open to a whole new world of dangers.
“Alright, fine, tell you what. I’ll keep an eye on the map, you keep two on the path. Got it?”
“Make sure you don’t walk straight into the trunk of a tree or off a cliff, got it.”
I ignored his unimpressed sarcasm.
“Good! Now let’s go.”
___
Our little chat didn’t keep my clingy companion at distance for very long, as soon he was right beside me again, latched onto my arm like a frightened child. But I was too fired up to mind now, we were closing in on our target! Just a little farther, clear this last line of trees, this was it, I could practically taste the prevailing justice!
“And here we are, Felix! We’ve finally come too...” I lowered the map, and my mood was instantly soured. “A really, really, big rock.”
Oh, I was furious!
“We’ve been tricked! Bamboozled! Made a fool of!”
I crumpled up the useless sheet of paper into a ball and chucked it into the clearing. This piece of garbage had only led up to a dead end.
Quite frankly, I was ready to burn down the whole forest just to easily make it back home, already turning to leave, when I was stopped by a firm hand on my shoulder. Felix had spun me back around, facing the large mountainside once more. I turned my head to glare at him.
“What?” I questioned with a bitter bite. “If you plan on having me look at this just so you can compare it to your rock collection at home, Felix, I swear--!”
I wasn’t allowed the chance to finish my threat, as my roommate-- having looked as unimpressed as I’ve ever seen him-- forcefully turned my head to the right. There, right smack in the darkness, chiseled into the side of the stone…
“Oh, a door.”
If it was a bug it would have bit me. Instead the homemade cave did nothing whatsoever, as I instead had to deal with that annoying air of smug satisfaction radiating off of the fox behind me. I smacked the hands still on me with the back of my paw, grumbling.
“Yeah, well. I would have noticed it eventually.”
Felix opened his mouth to reply-- sass no doubt waiting to spill like bile from his lips. Mr. Know-it-all wasn’t given the chance, as I pulled out my gun from my breast pocket.
“Shh. You can gloat later. Now we need to split up-- to have the advantage, you know.” Larry wouldn’t be expecting TWO people after him. He probably didn’t know Felix existed! I went on. “I’ll take the front, you round to the back to see if you can find another way inside. We good? Good!”
I pushed myself through the tall grass, ready to pounce upon whatever lied within the cavern walls. My dramatics was choked out just as much as my patience, because Felix was grabbing onto my sleeve again! Sweet Mother Goose, I was going to lose it! What? What else was there to say? We found the hiding hoodlum hoarding hostages, and my fingers twitched to get to the closure of the case!
Of course, I didn’t get a chance to say any of this. No. Felix had to even go and ruin my irked ire, as all smugness was swept off his face. Instead he was scrunched with a pained desperation as he gently gave me one final demand:
“Be safe. Please. Or I’ll never forgive you, Norman D. Wolf.”
And you know what… I believed him.
We parted ways then, Felix disappearing around the bend as I sidled up to the rocky cliff side, my back pressed up against it until I was certain I’d successfully blended into the shadows. I slipped my way silently toward the door, my paw finding the handle, fully expecting to find it locked up tight.
As luck would have it, it was not. The nob turned easily, and without a sound, I slipped inside.
Larry’s abode was what one might expect of a cave ... rock walls, dirt floor, sparse furniture. And the furnishings that were there were shabby at best. It was hard to believe some guys lived like this.
My critique on this guy’s home decor would have to be put on hold, as I heard him speaking from the next room over. Who could he be speaking to? Had he caught Felix? Was he chatting with his newly pilfered people? I had to find out.
The closer I got to the curtain separating the front part of the cavern from the rest, the easier things became to understand. Larry was chuckling now, and I peeped from behind it to see that scoundrel slumped into a chair-- feet propped up on a table in a way that would have made the mothers of the world seethe with rage. Larry twirled the cord of the phone between his boney digits, as he spoke into the receiver.
“Ah ah, Mr. Fawcett, I should think this is hardly the time for such language. Especially with your mother and daughter within the next room.”
This crooked creep was all teeth, smiling in sheer amusement as he pulled the phone away from his ear. Even I winced at the intensity of the screams on the line, we wolves being sensitive to that sort of thing. Larry Lemonade, however, didn’t look a lick bothered-- putting the phone back once things calmed down.
“Such a way with words, sir. A genuine hoot and a half. Haha! I could even tell you a few jokes of my own, but… I think you’d prefer we talked business instead.“
Amusement had turned serious, and the change in the guy was enough to cause even a hardened detective like myself to shiver from my hiding place. Yeah that… that was the sour of his alias, alright. It was while wondering why HE hadn’t been given my nom de plume, when Larry spoke again.
“Oh, good! I’m glad we’re on the same page. It’s far better for us to be friends than enemies, you know. SO, let’s talk about what you want. Clearly you want them returned sooner than later-- unharmed. Outside of a few tears-- unfortunate, but it happens-- they’re both safe. For now. Who knows what the future holds!”
Another laugh.
“Are you a betting man, Charlie? You mind if I call you Charlie, seeing as we’re best pals now. You don’t come across as a guy who plays games, Chuck-- sorry, we’re going with Chuck now. Charlie was still too formal.”
I couldn’t tell if this was him toying with the man, or if Larry just loved the sound of his own voice. I’d believe both, though that didn’t matter in the end. I was just about ready to spring from my hiding place-- just to get the wicked wolf to cease his ramblings-- when Larry started up again.
“So, Chuck, you don’t play games. But you’re a buyer, you buy things that people desperately want at a higher price than warranted. It’s enough to make a thief like me feel INSPIRED! So I thought to myself: well, you want your family… how much are you willing to pay for them?”
I really should have known this had been Larry’s reason for granny-napping this entire time. Of course it was all about the money! But at least that likely meant the two were just as unharmed as he’d said.
Likely, but not definitely.
“Oh, ouch, is that all your family is worth to you, Mr. Fawcett? Such a shame. Care to try again?”
No, correction, this wasn’t just about the money. Larry was enjoying this little game, that slimy scoundrel.
“Ah! Now we’re getting warmer! You get one more try. I’m feeling generous tonight.”
Oohh, it’s no-good creeps like this that make my blood boil!
“There we are, that’s a number we can both agree on! You have until noon tomorrow to gather and send me the funds. Otherwise, well ... I’m sure I can find another buyer more eager than yourself. Tootles, Mr. Fawcett!”
He severed the connection and I knew it was the perfect time to strike! I had the element of surprise on my side.
“I really wish you’d call before you visit, detective. Really, some guys can be so rude.”
One surprise became another, as the curtain I was hiding behind was thrust open. I nearly toppled over my feet trying to back away, and Larry Lemonade, in all his sadistic glory, smiled at this as he cooed:
“Peek-a-boo, I see you.”
“I, b-but, but HOW?” I stammered out, taking another step back. Larry was drawn from the room, following every step. He tapped his nose, chuckling in amusement.
“All the better to smell you with. Really, you stink of lavender-- my compliments to whoever does your laundry.”
…..
Felix.
I would need to have a word with my roommate’s habit of putting me between a rock and a hard place-- or in this case, a cave and a deranged delinquent. But that would be later, if there would even BE a later. I had my doubts on getting out of this in one piece-- there was no telling what a dirty dealing guy like him would do to someone like me.
It was as Larry took another step forward did I remember an important detail to my arrival. I had something this crook did not-- and I didn’t mean my sense of justice. I whipped out my tranquilizer gun I had hiding in my pocket, finding my confidence once more.
“Alright, Larry. Don’t take another step forward. I’m warning ya!”
That certainly wiped that smug grin off his maw. In fact, it was replaced by one of venom-- even as he kept up his joking.
“Poor form, detective. Pulling out a weapon on a harmless man. For shame.”
“Nothing, and I mean, NOTHING about you is harmless, ya creep.”
The mad wolf across from me dared to take another step closer, foolishly calling my bluff, the sneer on his face told me he didn’t think I had the guts. Oh, I had the guts, alright. And the aim to back it up!
“Aw come now, I’m not such a bad guy!”
I swear, this guy must have super powers, because the next thing I knew, I was staring down the barrel of my own gun. To out-speed even my quick reflexes, well, give credit where it’s due. That was impressive.
“Or maybe I am.”
With a glare on my face-- and more rage than Hera discovering her husband bought flowers for another woman-- I didn’t have a second thought as I snatched my gun right back!
This became a game of sorts, the two of us surprising the other as we took back the weapon. It was in my corner. Then his.
Mine.
His.
Mine.
I had snatched it for a final time, holding the gun over my head in triumph, when Larry tackled me to the ground. I oofed, knowing my back was going to feel it slamming into stone come morning. For now, however, I had other things to worry about-- my claws clutching the piece with everything I had. (And perhaps some I didn’t.)
Larry and I rolled on the floor-- I may have had the strength his gangly frame couldn’t provide, but the guy was like dancing with a wet noodle. That was to say: he slipped and slithered about! It was hard to keep a grip on him even as I tried cradling the gun close to my person. I was doing a good job, too.
That is, until I felt tedious teeth tattering through my sleeve with a single bite.
The gun was tossed across the room in the process as I yelled.
“YIPE!”
Tears blurring my vision; but even with such a handicap, I could see that no-good louse attempting to scurry to his feet. I didn’t let him, jumping on top of Larry and using him as a springboard to the other side of the room.
Landing right in front of the gun.
I scooped it up and with lightning speed I spun around, gun at the ready. Larry was already advancing on me. I swear, the only guy I’d ever seen smile in the face of a firearm.
“Is the Big Bad Wolf going to shoot me in my own home? Heh heh. I don’t think you have the--”
Oh, I had the! And I proved it by pulling the trigger.
Larry stopped in his tracks, and frowned at the tranquilizer dart stick out of his shoulder.
“Nighty night, Larry Lemonade.”
Larry took one more step forward, and then fell forward like a freshly chopped tree.
It was strange, the silence that followed after a tussle. The way the echos dissipated into nothing, leaving you aware of yourself. I merely panted, gun going limp at my side as I just processed everything.
I…
I had won.
This may not been my first rodeo, in regards to cases, but this was the first BIG one. One worth writing home about. (That is, if there was anyone worth writing to.) It was one that MATTERED. It showed my valor and competence in the face of danger!
And it was going to be one heck of a story.
It was with this on my mind that I sauntered into the other room, picking up the phone from its place on the wooden table. Standing proud, I spoke into the receiver:
“Yes, operator: I would like to make a call to the FTPD. Tell the police the Big Bad Wolf found the Fawcetts.”
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Bowie was a voracious reader. In 2013, he posted a list of his top 100 favorite reads on his Facebook page.
Interviews With Francis Bacon by David Sylvester
Billy Liar by Keith Waterhouse
Room At The Top by John Braine
On Having No Head by Douglass Harding
Kafka Was The Rage by Anatole Broyard
A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
City Of Night by John Rechy
The Brief Wondrous Life Of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz
Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
Iliad by Homer
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
Tadanori Yokoo by Tadanori Yokoo
Berlin Alexanderplatz by Alfred Döblin
Inside The Whale And Other Essays by George Orwell
Mr. Norris Changes Trains by Christopher Isherwood
Halls Dictionary Of Subjects And Symbols In Art by James A. Hall
David Bomberg by Richard Cork
Blast by Wyndham Lewis
Passing by Nella Larson
Beyond The Brillo Box by Arthur C. Danto
The Origin Of Consciousness In The Breakdown Of The Bicameral Mind by Julian Jaynes
In Bluebeard’s Castle by George Steiner
Hawksmoor by Peter Ackroyd
The Divided Self by R. D. Laing
The Stranger by Albert Camus
Infants Of The Spring by Wallace Thurman
The Quest For Christa T by Christa Wolf
The Songlines by Bruce Chatwin
Nights At The Circus by Angela Carter
The Master And Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
The Prime Of Miss Jean Brodie by Muriel Spark
Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
Herzog by Saul Bellow
Puckoon by Spike Milligan
Black Boy by Richard Wright
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With The Sea by Yukio Mishima
Darkness At Noon by Arthur Koestler
The Waste Land by T.S. Elliot
McTeague by Frank Norris
Money by Martin Amis
The Outsider by Colin Wilson
Strange People by Frank Edwards
English Journey by J.B. Priestley
A Confederacy Of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
The Day Of The Locust by Nathanael West
1984 by George Orwell
The Life And Times Of Little Richard by Charles White
Awopbopaloobop Alopbamboom: The Golden Age of Rock by Nik Cohn
Mystery Train by Greil Marcus
Beano (comic, ’50s)
Raw (comic, ’80s)
White Noise by Don DeLillo
Sweet Soul Music: Rhythm And Blues And The Southern Dream Of Freedom by Peter Guralnick
Silence: Lectures And Writing by John Cage
Writers At Work: The Paris Review Interviews edited by Malcolm Cowley
The Sound Of The City: The Rise Of Rock And Roll by Charlie Gillete
Octobriana And The Russian Underground by Peter Sadecky
The Street by Ann Petry
Wonder Boys by Michael Chabon
Last Exit To Brooklyn By Hubert Selby, Jr.
A People’s History Of The United States by Howard Zinn
The Age Of American Unreason by Susan Jacoby
Metropolitan Life by Fran Lebowitz
The Coast Of Utopia by Tom Stoppard
The Bridge by Hart Crane
All The Emperor’s Horses by David Kidd
Fingersmith by Sarah Waters
Earthly Powers by Anthony Burgess
The 42nd Parallel by John Dos Passos
Tales Of Beatnik Glory by Ed Saunders
The Bird Artist by Howard Norman
Nowhere To Run The Story Of Soul Music by Gerri Hirshey
Before The Deluge by Otto Friedrich
Sexual Personae: Art And Decadence From Nefertiti To Emily Dickinson by Camille Paglia
The American Way Of Death by Jessica Mitford
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
Lady Chatterly’s Lover by D.H. Lawrence
Teenage by Jon Savage
Vile Bodies by Evelyn Waugh
The Hidden Persuaders by Vance Packard
The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin
Viz (comic, early ’80s)
Private Eye (satirical magazine, ’60s – ’80s)
Selected Poems by Frank O’Hara
The Trial Of Henry Kissinger by Christopher Hitchens
Flaubert’s Parrot by Julian Barnes
Maldoror by Comte de Lautréamont
On The Road by Jack Kerouac
Mr. Wilson’s Cabinet of Wonder by Lawrence Weschler
Zanoni by Edward Bulwer-Lytton
Transcendental Magic, Its Doctrine and Ritual by Eliphas Lévi
The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pagels
The Leopard by Giusseppe Di Lampedusa
Inferno by Dante Alighieri
A Grave For A Dolphin by Alberto Denti di Pirajno
The Insult by Rupert Thomson
In Between The Sheets by Ian McEwan
A People’s Tragedy by Orlando Figes
Journey Into The Whirlwind by Eugenia Ginzburg
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David Bowie’s 100 Favourite Books:
Interviews With Francis Bacon by David Sylvester
Billy Liar by Keith Waterhouse
Room At The Top by John Braine
On Having No Head by Douglass Harding
Kafka Was The Rage by Anatole Broyard
A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
Of Night by John Rechy
The Brief Wondrous Life Of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz
Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
Iliad by Homer
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
Tadanori Yokoo by Tadanori Yokoo
Berlin Alexanderplatz by Alfred Döblin
Inside The Whale And Other Essays by George Orwell
Norris Changes Trains by Christopher Isherwood
Halls Dictionary Of Subjects And Symbols In Art by James A. Hall
David Bomberg by Richard Cork
Blast by Wyndham Lewis
Passing by Nella Larson
Beyond The Brillo Box by Arthur C. Danto
The Origin Of Consciousness In The Breakdown Of The Bicameral Mind by Julian Jaynes
In Bluebeard’s Castle by George Steiner
Hawksmoor by Peter Ackroyd
The Divided Self by R. D. Laing
The Stranger by Albert Camus
Infants Of The Spring by Wallace Thurman
The Quest For Christa T by Christa Wolf
The Songlines by Bruce Chatwin
Nights At The Circus by Angela Carter
The Master And Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
The Prime Of Miss Jean Brodie by Muriel Spark
Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
Herzog by Saul Bellow
Puckoon by Spike Milligan
Black Boy by Richard Wright
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With The Sea by Yukio Mishima
Darkness At Noon by Arthur Koestler
The Waste Land by T.S. Elliot
McTeague by Frank Norris
Money by Martin Amis
The Outsider by Colin Wilson
Strange People by Frank Edwards
English Journey by J.B. Priestley
A Confederacy Of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
The Day Of The Locust by Nathanael West
1984 by George Orwell
The Life And Times Of Little Richard by Charles White
Awopbopaloobop Alopbamboom: The Golden Age of Rock by Nik Cohn
Mystery Train by Greil Marcus
Beano (comic, )
Raw (comic, ’80s)
White Noise by Don DeLillo
Sweet Soul Music: Rhythm And Blues And The Southern Dream Of Freedom by Peter Guralnick
Silence: Lectures And Writing by John Cage
Writers At Work: The Paris Review Interviews edited by Malcolm Cowley
The Sound Of The City: The Rise Of Rock And Roll by Charlie Gillette
Octobriana And The Russian Underground by Peter Sadecky
The Street by Ann Petry
Wonder Boys by Michael Chabon
Last Exit To Brooklyn by Hubert Selby, Jr.
A People’s History Of The United States by Howard Zinn
The Age Of American Unreason by Susan Jacoby
Metropolitan Life by Fran Lebowitz
The Coast Of Utopia by Tom Stoppard
The Bridge by Hart Crane
All The Emperor’s Horses by David Kidd
Fingersmith by Sarah Waters
Earthly Powers by Anthony Burgess
The 42nd Parallel by John Dos Passos
Tales Of Beatnik Glory by Ed Saunders
The Bird Artist by Howard Norman
Nowhere To Run The Story Of Soul Music by Gerri Hirshey
Before The Deluge by Otto Friedrich
Sexual Personae: Art And Decadence From Nefertiti To Emily Dickinson by Camille Paglia
The American Way Of Death by Jessica Mitford
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
Lady Lover by D.H. Lawrence
Teenage by Jon Savage
Vile Bodies by Evelyn Waugh
The Hidden Persuaders by Vance Packard
The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin
Viz (comic, ’80s)
Private Eye (satirical magazine, – ’80s)
Selected Poems by Frank O’Hara
The Trial Of Henry Kissinger by Christopher Hitchens
Flaubert’s Parrot by Julian Barnes
Maldoror by Comte de Lautréamont
On The Road by Jack Kerouac
Wilson’s Cabinet of Wonder by Lawrence Weschler
Zanoni by Edward Bulwer-Lytton
Transcendental Magic, Its Doctrine and Ritual by Eliphas Lévi
The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pagels
The Leopard by Giuseppe Di Lampedusa
Inferno by Dante Alighieri
A Grave For A Dolphin by Alberto Denti di Pirajno
The Insult by Rupert Thomson
In Between The Sheets by Ian McEwan
A People’s Tragedy by Orlando Figes
Journey Into The Whirlwind by Eugenia Ginzburg
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rules: we’re snooping on your playlist. put your entire music library on shuffle and list the first ten songs and then choose 10 victims
Tagged by: @whiskey2theveins 💞
Astronaut in the ocean- the masked wolf
Money to blow- birdman & lil Wayne
Hot- Avril Lavigne
Living dead beat- children of bodom
Time won’t let me go- the bravery
Norman fucking Rockwell- Lana del rey
Nikes on my feet- mac miller
Thuggish ruggish bone- bone thugz n harmony
Open letter- the amity affliction
This is the new shit- Marilyn Manson
I tag @derfleisch, @xmackx, @louci-d, @pen-and-paper-therapy, @swamptrashh
Thanks for the tag friend! These are so much fun to do 🥰
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Happy Feet (Anime Cast)
Mumble (Young) - Renton Thurston (Eureka Seven)
Mumble (Adult) - Gray Fullbuster (Fairy Tail)
Gloria (Young) - Eureka (Eureka Seven)
Gloria (Adult) - Juvia Lockser (Fairy Tail)
Ramon - Natsu Dragneel (Fairy Tail)
Nestor - Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece)
Raul - Vinsmoke Sanji (One Piece)
Lambardo - Usopp (One Piece)
Rinaldo - Roronoa Zoro (One Piece)
Lovelace - Gildarts Clive (Fairy Tail)
Memphis - Holland Novak (Eureka Seven)
Norma Jean - Talho Yuki (Eureka Seven)
Noah the Elder - Lordgenome (Gurren Lagann)
Ms. Viola - Marie (Soul Eater)
Seymour (Young) - Norman (The Promised Neverland)
Seymour (Adult) - Lyon Vastia (Fairy Tail)
Boss Skua - Sir Crocodile (One Piece)
Leopard Seal - Mard Gheer (Fairy Tail)
Mrs. Astrakahn - Azusa Yumi (Soul Eater)
Maurice - Fujimoto (Ponyo)
Michelle - Undine (Black Cover)
Erik - Young Simon (Gurren Lagann)
Bo - Eri (My Hero Academia)
Atticus - Hero (Soul Eater)
Carmen - Lucy Heartfilia (Fairy Tail)
Will and Bill - Laxus Dreyar and Freed Justine (Fairy Tail)
Bryan the Beachmaster - Karon (Princess Tutu)
Sven - Kamina (Gurren Lagann)
Shane and Darren - Markel (Howl’s Moving Castle) and Ame (Wolf Children)
Wayne the Challenger - Drosselmeyer (Princess Tutu)
#fairy tail#fairy tail anime#happy feet#one piece#eureka seven#gray fullbuster#juvia lockser#gray x juvia#gruvia fairy tail#gruvia#renton thurston#eureka#renton x eureka#tengen toppa gurren lagan#gurren lagann#natsu dragneel#monkey d luffy#gildarts clive#holland#Holland Novak#talho yuki#holland x talho#Simon#soul eater#princess tutu#ponyo#black clover#nalu#natsu x lucy#natsu and lucy
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The Gangs Kahoots Cause I Can
Tw // cursing
How To Fall In Love With Your Best Friend - by Steve Randle
When he smiles do you... a) swoon b) simp c) cry d) marry him
What is my favorite nickname for him.... a) Pepsi cola b) baby c) dumb dumb d) papi
What’s my favorite thing about him... a) hair b) eyes c) fuck you if you make me decide d) knees
Answer key: all of the above, A, & C
My Bisexual Crushes Trivia - by Sodapop Curtis
He sang ‘star man’ and ‘space oddity’ & could punch me in the [redacted]... a) kate winslet b) david Bowie c) Batman d) Steve
“Keep it down on the low key” yeah yeah yeah that’s not gonna work king.... a) usher b) Tom Hanks c) star butterfly d) Steve
We kiss but it’s just homie stuff.... a) ur mom b) norman bates c) doctor suess d) Steve
Answer key: b, a, & d
Why Madonna Is An Icon - by Johnny Cade
She looks good in absolutely everything.... a) true b) so true c) canon d) yes.
Her Vogue at the 1990 music awards was a) showstopping b) incredible c) dazzling d) eh
Her Super Bowl show... a) gave me a certain respect for football b) for straights c) I hate all that but she killed it d) penguins
Answer key: b, A b & c, & c
How To Properly Steal A Horse - by Dallas Tucker Winston
Step one... a) break in b) break out c) break dance d) break tim shepards face
Step two.... a) name it b) get it out with carrots c) yolo d) teach it to speak
Step three, bring it home & hope Darry doesn’t.... a) shoot me b) stab me c) kick me d) castrate me
Answer key: both a & d, d, & all of the above
What My Fuck Up Brothers Have Done To Me - Darrel Curtis
I found my first grey hair when I was.... a) 7 b) 9 c) 13 d) 16
I got my first chest pain caused by anxiety from their dumbassery at age.... a) 5 b) 8 c) 12 d) yesterday
I’ve once.... a) burst a vein in my forehead b) broke my knuckles from clenching my fists too hard c) lost a tooth due to ginding them together d) thought about committing identity theft & running away
Answer key: b, a, & all of the above
Why I Should Be Able To Date Curly Shepard - by Ponyboy Curtis
He gives me.... a) drugs b) butterflies c) syphilis d) cow print socks
He took me out last week and told me.... a) he loved me b) he was secretly a wolf c) a Kim Kadashian stan d) he thinks the Beatles are just one guy that moves really fast
Please.... a) I’ll die if you don’t b) I’ll run away again c) please darry please please d) were already dating so it doesn’t really matter
Answer key: b, a & d, & all of the above
Anthropology - by Two Bit Matthews
Anthropology is the study of.... a) human cultures & their development b) bussies c) how the hell birds exist d) homosexuality
My favorite anthropologist is.... a) Jackie Chan b) Margaret mead c) obama d) Emilio Estevez
An anthropological site I think is overrated is.... a) Machu Picchu b) Stonehenge c) Teotihuacan d) the pyramids
Answer key: a, b, & c
#this is both the funniest & least funny post I’ve ever made#the ultimate shitpost#the outsiders#the outsiders headcanons#the outsiders memes#the outsiders incorrect quotes
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Read Like a Gilmore
All 339 Books Referenced In “Gilmore Girls”
Not my original list, but thought it’d be fun to go through and see which one’s I’ve actually read :P
If it’s in bold, I’ve got it, and if it’s struck through, I’ve read it. I’ve put a ‘read more’ because it ended up being an insanely long post, and I’m now very sad at how many of these I haven’t read. (I’ve spaced them into groups of ten to make it easier to read)
1. 1984 by George Orwell
2. Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
3. Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
4. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon
5. An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser
6. Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt
7. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
8. The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
9. The Archidamian War by Donald Kagan
10. The Art of Fiction by Henry James
11. The Art of War by Sun Tzu
12. As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
13. Atonement by Ian McEwan
14. Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealy
15. The Awakening by Kate Chopin
16. Babe by Dick King-Smith
17. Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women by Susan Faludi 18. Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress by Dai Sijie
19. Bel Canto by Ann Patchett
20. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
21. Beloved by Toni Morrison
22. Beowulf: A New Verse Translation by Seamus Heaney
23. The Bhagava Gita
24. The Bielski Brothers: The True Story of Three Men Who Defied the Nazis, Built a Village in the Forest, and Saved 1,200 Jews by Peter Duffy
25. Bitch in Praise of Difficult Women by Elizabeth Wurtzel
26. A Bolt from the Blue and Other Essays by Mary McCarthy
27. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
28. Brick Lane by Monica Ali
29. Bridgadoon by Alan Jay Lerner
30. Candide by Voltaire
31. The Canterbury Tales by Chaucer
32. Carrie by Stephen King
33. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
34. The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
35. Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White
36. The Children’s Hour by Lillian Hellman
37. Christine by Stephen King
38. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
39. A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
40. The Code of the Woosters by P.G. Wodehouse
41. The Collected Stories by Eudora Welty
42. A Comedy of Errors by William Shakespeare
43. Complete Novels by Dawn Powell
44. The Complete Poems by Anne Sexton
45. Complete Stories by Dorothy Parker
46. A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
47. The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
48. Cousin Bette by Honore de Balzac
49. Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
50. The Crimson Petal and the White by Michel Faber
51. The Crucible by Arthur Miller
52. Cujo by Stephen King
53. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon
54. Daughter of Fortune by Isabel Allende
55. David and Lisa by Dr Theodore Issac Rubin M.D
56. David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
57. The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
58. Dead Souls by Nikolai Gogol
59. Demons by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
60. Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller
61. Deenie by Judy Blume
62. The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America by Erik Larson
63. The Dirt: Confessions of the World’s Most Notorious Rock Band by Tommy Lee, Vince Neil, Mick Mars and Nikki Sixx
64. The Divine Comedy by Dante
65. The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood by Rebecca Wells
66. Don Quixote by Cervantes
67. Driving Miss Daisy by Alfred Uhrv
68. Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson
69. Edgar Allan Poe: Complete Tales & Poems by Edgar Allan Poe
70. Eleanor Roosevelt by Blanche Wiesen Cook
71. The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test by Tom Wolfe
72. Ella Minnow Pea: A Novel in Letters by Mark Dunn
73. Eloise by Kay Thompson
74. Emily the Strange by Roger Reger
75. Emma by Jane Austen
76. Empire Falls by Richard Russo
77. Encyclopedia Brown: Boy Detective by Donald J. Sobol
78. Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton
79. Ethics by Spinoza
80. Europe through the Back Door, 2003 by Rick Steves
81. Eva Luna by Isabel Allende
82. Everything Is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer
83. Extravagance by Gary Krist
84. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
85. Fahrenheit 9/11 by Michael Moore
86. The Fall of the Athenian Empire by Donald Kagan
87. Fat Land: How Americans Became the Fattest People in the World by Greg Critser
88. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson
89. The Fellowship of the Ring by J. R. R. Tolkien
90. Fiddler on the Roof by Joseph Stein
91. The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom
92. Finnegan’s Wake by James Joyce
93. Fletch by Gregory McDonald
94. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
95. The Fortress of Solitude by Jonathan Lethem
96. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
97. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
98. Franny and Zooey by J. D. Salinger
99. Freaky Friday by Mary Rodgers
100. Galapagos by Kurt Vonnegut
101. Gender Trouble by Judith Butler
102. George W. Bushism: The Slate Book of the Accidental Wit and Wisdom of our 43rd President by Jacob Weisberg
103. Gidget by Fredrick Kohner
104. Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen
105. The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pagels
106. The Godfather: Book 1 by Mario Puzo
107. The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
108. Goldilocks and the Three Bears by Alvin Granowsky
109. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
110. The Good Soldier by Ford Maddox Ford
111. The Gospel According to Judy Bloom
112. The Graduate by Charles Webb
113. The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
114. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
115. Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
116. The Group by Mary McCarthy
117. Hamlet by William Shakespeare
118. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J. K. Rowling
119. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J. K. Rowling
120. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers
121. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
122. Helter Skelter: The True Story of the Manson Murders by Vincent Bugliosi and Curt Gentry
123. Henry IV, part I by William Shakespeare
124. Henry IV, part II by William Shakespeare
125. Henry V by William Shakespeare
126. High Fidelity by Nick Hornby
127. The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon
128. Holidays on Ice: Stories by David Sedaris
129. The Holy Barbarians by Lawrence Lipton
130. House of Sand and Fog by Andre Dubus III
131. The House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende
132. How to Breathe Underwater by Julie Orringer
133. How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss
134. How the Light Gets In by M. J. Hyland
135. Howl by Allen Ginsberg
136. The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo
137. The Iliad by Homer
138. I’m With the Band by Pamela des Barres
139. In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
140. Inferno by Dante
141. Inherit the Wind by Jerome Lawrence and Robert E. Lee
142. Iron Weed by William J. Kennedy
143. It Takes a Village by Hillary Rodham Clinton
144. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
145. The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
146. Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare
147. The Jumping Frog by Mark Twain
148. The Jungle by Upton Sinclair
149. Just a Couple of Days by Tony Vigorito
150. The Kitchen Boy: A Novel of the Last Tsar by Robert Alexander
151. Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly by Anthony Bourdain
152. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
153. Lady Chatterleys’ Lover by D. H. Lawrence
154. The Last Empire: Essays 1992-2000 by Gore Vidal
155. Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
156. The Legend of Bagger Vance by Steven Pressfield
157. Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis
158. Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke
159. Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them by Al Franken
160. Life of Pi by Yann Martel
161. Little Dorrit by Charles Dickens
162. The Little Locksmith by Katharine Butler Hathaway
163. The Little Match Girl by Hans Christian Andersen
164. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
165. Living History by Hillary Rodham Clinton
166. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
167. The Lottery: And Other Stories by Shirley Jackson
168. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
169. The Love Story by Erich Segal
170. Macbeth by William Shakespeare
171. Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
172. The Manticore by Robertson Davies
173. Marathon Man by William Goldman
174. The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
175. Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter by Simone de Beauvoir
176. Memoirs of General W. T. Sherman by William Tecumseh Sherman
177. Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
178. The Meaning of Consuelo by Judith Ortiz Cofer
179. Mencken’s Chrestomathy by H. R. Mencken
180. The Merry Wives of Windsor by William Shakespeare
181. The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
182. Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
183. The Miracle Worker by William Gibson
184. Moby Dick by Herman Melville
185. The Mojo Collection: The Ultimate Music Companion by Jim Irvin
186. Moliere: A Biography by Hobart Chatfield Taylor
187. A Monetary History of the United States by Milton Friedman
188. Monsieur Proust by Celeste Albaret
189. A Month Of Sundays: Searching For The Spirit And My Sister by Julie Mars 190. A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway
191. Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf
192. Mutiny on the Bounty by Charles Nordhoff and James Norman Hall
193. My Lai 4: A Report on the Massacre and It’s Aftermath by Seymour M. Hersh
194. My Life as Author and Editor by H. R. Mencken
195. My Life in Orange: Growing Up with the Guru by Tim Guest
196. Myra Waldo’s Travel and Motoring Guide to Europe, 1978 by Myra Waldo 197. My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult
198. The Naked and the Dead by Norman Mailer
199. The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco
200. The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri
201. The Nanny Diaries by Emma McLaughlin
202. Nervous System: Or, Losing My Mind in Literature by Jan Lars Jensen
203. New Poems of Emily Dickinson by Emily Dickinson
204. The New Way Things Work by David Macaulay
205. Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich
206. Night by Elie Wiesel
207. Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen
208. The Norton Anthology of Theory and Criticism by William E. Cain, Laurie A. Finke, Barbara E. Johnson, John P. McGowan
209. Novels 1930-1942: Dance Night/Come Back to Sorrento, Turn, Magic Wheel/Angels on Toast/A Time to be Born by Dawn Powell
210. Notes of a Dirty Old Man by Charles Bukowski
211. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck (will NEVER read again)
212. Old School by Tobias Wolff
213. On the Road by Jack Kerouac
214. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey
215. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
216. The Opposite of Fate: Memories of a Writing Life by Amy Tan
217. Oracle Night by Paul Auster
218. Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood
219. Othello by Shakespeare
220. Our Mutual Friend by Charles Dickens
221. The Outbreak of the Peloponnesian War by Donald Kagan
222. Out of Africa by Isac Dineson
223. The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton
224. A Passage to India by E.M. Forster
225. The Peace of Nicias and the Sicilian Expedition by Donald Kagan
226. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
227. Peyton Place by Grace Metalious
228. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
229. Pigs at the Trough by Arianna Huffington
230. Pinocchio by Carlo Collodi
231. Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk Legs McNeil and Gillian McCain
232. The Polysyllabic Spree by Nick Hornby
233. The Portable Dorothy Parker by Dorothy Parker
234. The Portable Nietzche by Fredrich Nietzche
235. The Price of Loyalty: George W. Bush, the White House, and the Education of Paul O’Neill by Ron Suskind
236. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
237. Property by Valerie Martin
238. Pushkin: A Biography by T. J. Binyon
239. Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw
240. Quattrocento by James Mckean
241. A Quiet Storm by Rachel Howzell Hall
242. Rapunzel by Grimm Brothers
243. The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe
244. The Razor’s Edge by W. Somerset Maugham
245. Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books by Azar Nafisi
246. Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
247. Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm by Kate Douglas Wiggin
248. The Red Tent by Anita Diamant
249. Rescuing Patty Hearst: Memories From a Decade Gone Mad by Virginia Holman
250. The Return of the King by J. R. R. Tolkien
251. R Is for Ricochet by Sue Grafton
252. Rita Hayworth by Stephen King
253. Robert’s Rules of Order by Henry Robert
254. Roman Holiday by Edith Wharton
255. Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare
256. A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf
257. A Room with a View by E. M. Forster
258. Rosemary’s Baby by Ira Levin
259. The Rough Guide to Europe, 2003 Edition
260. Sacred Time by Ursula Hegi
261. Sanctuary by William Faulkner
262. Savage Beauty: The Life of Edna St. Vincent Millay by Nancy Milford
263. Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller by Henry James
264. The Scarecrow of Oz by Frank L. Baum
265. The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
266. Seabiscuit: An American Legend by Laura Hillenbrand
267. The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir
268. The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd
269. Secrets of the Flesh: A Life of Colette by Judith Thurman
270. Selected Hotels of Europe
271. Selected Letters of Dawn Powell: 1913-1965 by Dawn Powell
272. Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
273. A Separate Peace by John Knowles
274. Several Biographies of Winston Churchill
275. Sexus by Henry Miller
276. The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon
277. Shane by Jack Shaefer
278. The Shining by Stephen King
279. Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse
280. S Is for Silence by Sue Grafton
281. Slaughter-house Five by Kurt Vonnegut
282. Small Island by Andrea Levy
283. Snows of Kilimanjaro by Ernest Hemingway
284. Snow White and Rose Red by Grimm Brothers
285. Social Origins of Dictatorship and Democracy: Lord and Peasant in the Making of the Modern World by Barrington Moore
286. The Song of Names by Norman Lebrecht
287. Song of the Simple Truth: The Complete Poems of Julia de Burgos by Julia de Burgos
288. The Song Reader by Lisa Tucker
289. Songbook by Nick Hornby
290. The Sonnets by William Shakespeare
291. Sonnets from the Portuegese by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
292. Sophie’s Choice by William Styron
293. The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner
294. Speak, Memory by Vladimir Nabokov
295. Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach
296. The Story of My Life by Helen Keller
297. A Streetcar Named Desiree by Tennessee Williams
298. Stuart Little by E. B. White
299. Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
300. Swann’s Way by Marcel Proust
301. Swimming with Giants: My Encounters with Whales, Dolphins and Seals by Anne Collett
302. Sybil by Flora Rheta Schreiber
303. A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
304. Tender Is The Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald
305. Term of Endearment by Larry McMurtry
306. Time and Again by Jack Finney
307. The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
308. To Have and Have Not by Ernest Hemingway
309. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
310. The Tragedy of Richard III by William Shakespeare
311. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
312. The Trial by Franz Kafka
313. The True and Outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters by Elisabeth Robinson
314. Truth & Beauty: A Friendship by Ann Patchett
315. Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom
316. Ulysses by James Joyce
317. The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath 1950-1962 by Sylvia Plath 318. Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
319. Unless by Carol Shields
320. Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann
321. The Vanishing Newspaper by Philip Meyers
322. Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray
323. Velvet Underground’s The Velvet Underground and Nico (Thirty Three and a Third series) by Joe Harvard
324. The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides
325. Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett
326. Walden by Henry David Thoreau
327. Walt Disney’s Bambi by Felix Salten
328. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
329. We Owe You Nothing – Punk Planet: The Collected Interviews edited by Daniel Sinker
330. What Colour is Your Parachute? 2005 by Richard Nelson Bolles
331. What Happened to Baby Jane by Henry Farrell
332. When the Emperor Was Divine by Julie Otsuka
333. Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson
334. Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf by Edward Albee
335. Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire
336. The Wizard of Oz by Frank L. Baum
337. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
338. The Yearling by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings
339. The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
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