#none of my boundaries get taken seriously with them

[audhdnight]

On the topic of gentle parenting (I’ve said all this before but not here and it bears repeating anyway) the counter argument of “well I would gentle parent if it worked but try that with my kid and you’ll see they don’t care” is so asinine

Like you wouldn’t sit a six year old down with their first primer and then expect them to be able to read fluently from that day forward. You wouldn’t only take your child to ONE swim lesson and then be done for the rest of the summer. You wouldn’t expect your dog to follow the “sit” or “shake” commands after one day of training. This is just not how learning works.

So yes, after one single instance where you tried gentle parenting techniques, your child is not going to respond automatically. That’s why we teach. That’s why we keep doing it, over and over, until they learn.

I used to nanny for a family of twelve. My main responsibilities were taking care of the four youngest - three little boys and an eleven year old girl. Every single one of them was rowdy and loud and over-energetic all the time - the exact kinds of kids I usually see described as “demon spawn”. The boys were pretty easy to calm down, but the girl had a mean streak and she liked to cause problems.

It didn’t take me long to realize why, though. Her brothers were the babies of the family, and they were used to getting all the love and toys and granted desires they could want. By contrast, she was usually overlooked. All of the times she came and wrecked a board game I was playing with the boys, or the times she unplugged the tv so we couldn’t watch the movie she didn’t like, or the times she ran screaming in circles around the room because her baby brother was crying and my focus was on him - it all made sense.

And so the next time she came and tried to ruin our game, I told her calmly that if she wanted my attention that was okay and I was happy to give it to her, but she wasn’t allowed to be mean to her brothers to get it. If she wanted to play a game with me one on one, all she had to do was pick one out and ask.

This girl, who was normally angry and weepy and refused to listen to any kind of reason, looked like her entire world had just flipped inside out. She dropped the board game piece she’d taken, turned around, and walked out of the room. Fifteen minutes later she was back with a bag of Uno cards, hanging her head and asking me quietly if I would please play with her.

That was one of our best moments. Yes, she was still prone to tantrums and lashing out. No, things weren’t always perfect after that. But seriously, most of the time “bad” kids are genuinely just starved for something - attention, instruction, validation, or even just some damn peace and quiet (which none of these kids ever got having ten siblings). You’d be amazed how far a loving word and a firm boundary can go for any kid. Especially when they rarely get those things at home.

#kid stuff #gentle parenting #temper tantrums #parenting #emotional maturity #emotional regulation

[faroreswinds]

I’m sure sending you an ask off anon will probably get me put on a list of some kind but fuck it, I’ve already got one unhinged stalker, what’s another one in the mix lmao, and i want to make it extremely clear that I support you in this.

Like it really says something that these stannies absolutely do not quit after four damn years of the same thing. Doesn’t matter how factual you are (correctly citing art history in its original intent and context, canon game dialogue and timelines, interviews, etc), how polite you are, how straightforward you and others are because none of that matters at all to these chumps. This is a straight up gamergate-style sealioning campaign that in the end isn’t really about edelgard at all—she’s just the convenient platform for these people to expound their insane maximalist fandom-as-politics viewpoint that has irreparably damaged houses’ reputation for fans and has conflated videogame communities as a testing ground for in-group loyalty metrics.

Aside from what you and others have already said, it’s telling that they always follow a set script: Church Evil and Fascist, Edelgard Revolutionary and Morally Good, alongside truly reprehensible weaponisation of identity politics and socjus buzzwords. It’s not enough to assert that Edelgard is a pure lesbian hero (biphobia what), it must mean that by diametrically opposing her, Dimitri has to be evil, straight (but when they grudgingly acknowledge his queerness, it’s then asserting that said queerness can only exist within him being repressed and tamping it down because of evil Faerghian misogynist politics, never mind that Adrestia is the biggest misogynist of the continent lol), and singularly obsessed with targeting what she represents; Rhea, the chief architect of all that is evil in Fódlan and directly responsible for its misogyny, homophobia, and whatever else alongside with lobbing assertions of her being a “groomer” (which anyone with half a brain cell not dedicated to being chronically online know is now a popular right-wing argot used to directly target the lgbt community with truly heinous accusations equating them to paedophilia), among other things.

Only extreme statements and buzzwords for the characters, all the time: Edelgard as a hero, Dimitri and Rhea as representatives of ontological evil that Edelgard must defeat with extreme prejudice.

Let’s also point out the fact that in a true debate—because they’re not really debating at all and I say this as a professional debater myself who has won medals for this shit and trained youth teams in my country—the onus on the opposing side has to accept neutral statements from their counterparts. They cannot seriously say that their statements on Edelgard must be taken as fact while simultaneously discounting yours as fiction, because at best that would obviously be called out as ad hoc attempt to muddy the waters; at worst, blatantly trying to control the debate solely with their own parameters as the only acceptable ones, and thus openly attempting to silence dissenting opinions. If they really want to try to convince others that they’re really presenting legitimate debate, they cannot seriously pretend that their actions support that claim when they:

Approach you first and then continue to hound you

Constantly repeat themselves in an attempt to wear you down and confuse you, which is absolutely something that can be penalised in formal debate

Get offended and then accuse you of abuse when you firmly disagree with them and draw boundaries

Let’s also not forget the fact that their actions as a community absolutely do constitute harassment when they’ve been caught gloating about running moonlitboar off tumblr, the revelation that they keep a list of Edelgard critics to monitor them, forcing vas to apologise for expressing negative opinions about Edelgard (note how Rhea gets called so much bad shit but you don’t see Rhea fans calling for her haters’ blood), and even prompting YouTubers to change entire videos to avoid backlash, if not to simply stay in their good graces (and milk them for views and ad cash)

Aside from absolutely garbage essentialist Pure Lesbian Women are from Venus, Evil Repressed Hettie Obsessed Men are from Mars viewpoints, it’s truly mind boggling that they’ve bought into the belief that f/f is somehow purer and “less problematic” than m/m solely because they’ve decided that the heavy mlm moments for the Lions must point to their inherent moral degeneracy, which I would again like to remind them that that is actually homophobic; hell, I’ve seen quite a few using fujoshi as an insult. Let me take the time to explain that fujoshi and mlm fandom in Asia (explained by Asian fans themselves!) has always been seen as a symptom of mostly women fans being disgusting and “rotten,” and that their interest in mlm relationships is not only a betrayal of their gender (and ofc fujoshi as an insult in the west is a popular argument with terfs), but a sign that they’re degenerate and that something is deeply wrong with them.

Never mind that across the world, ff in media has sadly mostly been used as porn fodder for straight, misogynist men, because lesbian sex titillates them while gay sex repulses them. Utena is the outlier in a sea of garbage and said ff garbage is mostly shown as porn anyways. Gengoroh Tagame, a popular gay mangaka, has spoken about how female fans of mlm in japan are often big supporters of lgbt rights. Let’s not even get into the fact that the demographics of most edelgard spaces (like r/edelgard) are of straight men.

I also really despise how they’ve discovered “antisemitic” as a new buzzword. I’m Jewish. I loathe how most people only seem to care about opposing antisemitism when it’s in a videogame or movie, instead of in real life when we get hatecrimed. But it’d be remiss of me not to mention the way my blood boils when edelstans seriously repeat church slander of the nabateans being fake humans, evil reptilians wearing human skins as a disguise for them to manipulate the world from the shadows and using a fake, evil religion as their cover (not to mention how they describe the tenets of said religion as evil and conveniently forge and misrepresent its texts to make it look worse…where have i seen that before), who impede societal development to keep themselves on top, and, as the cherry on the shit cake, as miserly hoarders who keep monumental wealth to themselves and refuse to use it to help others.

Really makes you think then that it doesn’t take much for them to admit they see the Nabatean genocide as a positive, that its completion is necessary for edelgard to succeed (even if they hem and haw about what they think would happen to byleth, Seteth, and flayn), and borrowing from blatant irl genocide denial rhetoric saying that the agarthans (who are literal moustache twirling evil villains) were the original inhabitants who actually got genocided by the nasty coloniser lizards and that their retribution is absolutely justified and understandable. I laugh to think what their though process will be like if they even play the jugdral games.

And finally, since it bears mentioning, they should keep byleths name out of their fucking mouths. As a huge self admitted Byleth stan, seeing them whinge and whine and bitch and moan about poor Edelgard getting criticised really grinds my gears when the last four years has been seeing me constantly trying to navigate a fandom space that relentlessly shits on byleth and says they ruin the games and are nothing but player pandering or when people fucking celebrated the scene of shez killing them in hopes. Edelstans don’t get to try and use them as a prop to prove how edelgard is so good to them (and is so pure as a whole) when we have quantifiable data showing that Byleth smiles the most in verdant wind, has an incredibly strong character arc in azure moon, and that for THREE ROUTES OUT OF FOUR in houses (two if you count hopes scenarios when they’re kept alive) they always end up opposing her, because that is their actual character. Let’s talk about how r/byleth is mostly populated by r/edelgard fans who mostly post porn of fem byleth but have admitted to actually hating her, but liking the fact that she’s got big tits and can be used for yuri fanservice. Or let’s talk about feh: all their alts so far show their loyalty and closeness TO THE NABATEANS. And fuck it, I’m of the opinion that actually the devs’ edelgard bias is what ruined byleth and what made them silent. Because when they’re separated from houses (and thus not in her immediate focus), they fucking shine!!!

Tldr: hi raxis, what’s good!!

Addendum: edelgard has the most 3h alts in feh, cipher card art showing her naked and/or with suggestive costumes, is the most attached to the avatar characters in 3h/hopes/feh of her roster, is named first in the dlc for 3h in engage, has the tea set paired with hreslveg blend, ETC. if that’s not obv favouritism by an obv mostly male dev team, then, well…

Hey, how are you? Hope things are well!

When thinking about that exchange from the other day, @butwhatifidothis had an excellent post that put into words more eloquently than I could about issue:

They are right - I never mentioned it myself because my brain didn't quite go there, but many of the arguments were basically "this character would do this hypothetically", which is nothing more than mere headcanon.

Full disclosure, but I am not a professional debater. I am not even trained. Back in school I famously hated debates because I always felt they relied on twisting facts rather than empirical data. I liked data, that's why I went into the Sciences.

The only debating in Science is whether your results are accurate and if your method is indisputable. Is this ethical? What are we basing our ethnics off of? Proper science doesn't care about your opinions, or how bad so and so was back in the 1700s. Science - and Math - liked numbers, and numbers are cold and inflexible.

So I must admit that debating (not discussions, but debating) do tend to make me nervous at times. I like to learn, and to be challenged on how I view the world. But debating is not a skill I am honestly good at. I can lost track of the original point. I can get discombobulated by the lexicon and factoids when they are rapid fired at me.

That's why I engage in them. It's practice. If I don't do it, I will never get better.

And my untrained eyes could see that this debate... was not really a debate, but a shake-down. I was curious to see where it would go.

If anyone else finds this in this situation, here is my unprofessional advice:

Do not insult or use language that could be misconstrued as aggressive. Remain polite and sincere. Remaining polite does not mean agreeing to everything they say. But, instead of saying something like "You are wrong!" re-word it as "I don't agree with your view" or "I do not believe that is correct".

Do not let yourself be bullied. If this means you wish to disengage, just disengage. Make it comfortable for yourself. In my case, I was comfortable to keep going, but that may not be true for you. They make take this as a win, but you aren't being graded on this and this isn't politics. It's video game stuff.

Use only facts, do not use headcanons or opinions. This makes it harder for the other person to fight you, because you are remaining neutral. If you wish to discuss or bring up something that is not based on text, be sure to make it clear.

Call out when they twist your words. One user claimed that I had once used their name in my post. I never did, so I asked them where I had said that. It forces the other user, if they wish to respond, to either acknowledge they made a mistake, or they risk making themselves look like liars.

Never take it personally. They don't really know you. They are just bored and angry.

Always try to get them to think. This one I am still trying to master. When they make a claim, ask them why they think that. Why are they drawing that conclusion? What if they thought about it this way? If they are regurgitating whatever they have heard from others, they may get tripped up by this. This does run the risk of irritating the other person, but I find it is a helpful tool to both learn and to challenge your opponent to explaining themselves better.

This is the hardest one of all. Do not lose sight of the topic. It is not uncommon for these discussions to go a million different directions. If you lose sight, you may end up on a path you don't want to be on. Stay on topic. I'm still working on this too.

It's really cool that you are a trained debater. If you have any other further advice, or if my advice is terrible, I would love to hear it!

Ultimately, I think many of these types of fans just want to use whatever buzzwords and language they can to not only guilt the other party into bending a knee to their opinions, but to also shame anyone who likes another fictional character.

It's really a shame that other fans feel the need to go to such lengths over someone who is not real.

But per your addenhem, it is true that Edelgard gets a lot of love and attention from IS. She is popular. She doesn't need someone to come sweeping in defending her fictional honor.

Poor Claude really gets the shortest end of the stick in all this. This guy doesn't even have the same number of alts as Dimitri in FEH.

The sexuality stuff confuses me the most. Perhaps it is because my particular sexuality makes up 1% of the population, but I usually don't see why it is such a big deal when it comes to FE. FE doesn't make statements about sexuality. It is not try to teach about sexuality. It is not trying to push an agenda of any kind except the Make Money Agenda.

This weird vilifying fans of who likes mlm content, often framed as disgusting straight fujos who fetishize men. I find this an odd statement. From my point of view, anything that has any sort of sex is fetishizing, period. Straight, gay, whatever.

Well, regardless, thank you for the nice ask. I hope I could give is an answer that gives it justice. :)

#asks #Three Houses discourse #Edelgard discourse

[sins-and-wins-with-vix]

Everything Right/Wrong with “Rebooted” E1: The Surge

Sooo it’s been awhile but we’re back! Disclaimers: Show owned by LEGO. This is not a professional review/critique - it’s mainly intended for comedy!

Make sure to reblog, comment, and like! And tell me your thoughts!

- This season is titled “Rebooted,” get it? Cuz the show got rebooted for this season after it was supposed to end? And also the season itself deals with technology? And also if you’re anything like me this season makes you wanna reboot yourself so you can forget chunks of it ever happeneD- ❌

- Not my favorite intro or remix, but I still gotta admit it’s pretty cool, even if I do miss the family photo-like style of the OG ✅

- In the original intro it was just Cole, but now it seems that everyone except for Lloyd has lost their smiling privileges ❌ (the pic below shows everyone with their masks up but it’s taken from a later ep)

- The longer you look at this image, the more awkward the poses get… Seriously, look at all of them for a good while and try to explain what they’re doing ❌

- I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… this show knows music! 2 seconds into the actual episode and this score is already giving me goosebumps ✅

- ^ There’s a lot to say about this photo so I’m just gonna break it down here:

- Jay rocking the pose ✅

- Zane tried ✅

- Kai leaning on Jay… and maybe struggling to balance while doing so? ✅

- Cole is giving Dareth a piggy-back ride and I think we all wish we were Dareth right now ✅

- And Lloyd is very confused as to where the camera is apparently ✅

- “Ninjago City soon became… New Ninjago City.” Creative. ❌

- Also it’s never actually referred to as “New Ninjago City” much after this season, or even in it tbh ❌

- “And it became the center for great technological advancements.” Most of which will exit and re-enter the plot at any given time that’s most convenient for the writers because who needs continuity? ❌

- At first I was gonna ask who tf sings in the shower like this (Kai was just making random, loud noises - no actual words, and it didn’t seem like humming) but while typing I realized that this actually seems more akin to vocal stimming so… neurodivergent Kai canon? ✅

- “Brad got an ultra remote from New Ninjago City and it’s controlling Mr. Zane!” HOW? ❌

- “Mr. Cole is the worst!” Child echoes most of the fandom this early in the show’s run ❌

- Kai’s pudding cup was sitting in his bag with no lid or covering whatsoever ❌

- Wait, the ninja don’t have powers anymore because they don’t have the blades, so how did Zane freeze Jay’s pudding cup? I get that he’s a nindroid, but he doesn’t use ice powers for anything else until later this season when they officially get their powers back ❌

- “Why is it that whenever I teach, I get the feeling that none of the boys are listening?” Oh, I know the answer to this one!⬇️

- “I saved you some pudding.” “What did we talk about?” “Oh, right, boundaries.” You probably have some questions right now, like, “did Jay and Nya break up?” And “Why did they break up?” And most importantly, “are we ever gonna get answers to these questions?” And the answer to that is: No. live and die in wonder ❌

- They get clearance for a field trip that they have to take the day of? You could argue that Borg was in a rush to get the techno blades to the ninja and wanted to take this opportunity while he still could, and Wu really wanted to do this field trip so Nya jumped at it as well, and to that I say… that’s actually a pretty good argument. Well done.

- “If you ask me, people should concern themselves with the lessons of the past - not waste their time on disposable fads of tomorrow…” Of all characters, why would Kai have this sentiment? Especially since they already established Cole as the “lame” one. I guess I wouldn’t say it’s entirely ooc, but it still makes it abundantly clear that they had no idea what they wanted to do with Kai this season ❌

- Wu instructs Nya to “get a move on,” which she does, and immediately drives down a steep mountain, while Wu stands, unsupported, in the front of the bus ❌

- But ya know what? Nya saw her chance to attempt murder and went with it, and I can respect that ✅

- “Wow… you leave town a short while and-“ everything becomes tinted in blue?

- This bit where everything tech-related doesn’t wanna work for Kai is even funnier when you consider that it’s technically all sentient and controlled by the Overlord ✅

- “Your hardware is outdated and your processor is slow and incompatible with ours.” Line is not followed by air horns ❌

- “Even now, he is working on a digiverse…” foreshadowing ✅

- “They have a perfect match console!” Why do I feel a part of my soul dying?

- “What’s perfect match?” Seriously, why do I have this gut feeling that something very very bad is about to happen… like I’m about to witness a moment that will forever go down as this show’s worst writing decision ever?

- “It finds your perfect partner with flawless results!” Wait…

- “Hello, Nya…” No…

- “You are an independent, self-confident young woman who refuses to be in a boy’s club…” please… please don’t do this

- ^ OH GOD F*CKING D*MMIT ❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌❌

- “I would’ve guessed ninja to sneak in the window… not take the elevator.” Apparently, Borg wanted the ninja to rob him ❌

- There’s no way Jay was this big a fan of Borg but didn’t know he had prosthetic legs ❌

- Most people have heard by now that the inclusion of Borg being disabled wasn’t really done for the sake of representing disabled people so much as it was for the convenience of the situation, but you’d think at least one of the writers would’ve said, “hey, maybe this statue we’re making of a character who can’t use their legs SHOULDN’T be STANDING normally on those two legs?” Could it really have been that hard to work the wheelchair into that statue design? Really? ❌

- “First you call us pedestrians and now we’re assailants?!” Jay finds these both equally insulting, which is not only hilarious, but also in-character since Crystalized showed us the only thing that offends the ninja more than being considered evil is being considered average ✅

- “Let the elevator have the techno-blades Kai! I think its made its point!” Jay has the backbone of a noodle, which we knew but still

- “Looks like we just quit our day jobs!” Don’t think I didn’t just see Cole’s mouth move with Kai’s voice ❌

- “Why don’t boys ever listen to me???” D*mmit, Nya do I need to bring the misogyny gif back out?

- “It’s not sharp. Why even call it a blade!?” Good question ❌

- Also, did you really need to test it out to see it wasn’t sharp? Couldn’t you have just, ya know, looked? ❌

- *glass cracks* “Oh snap.” ✅

- Why would breaking the window cause them all to immediately fly out of it? Before someone who actually understands physics comes into my comment section and explains how this works, I’m gonna cut you off and say I refuse to believe there’s an explanation that wouldn’t violate at least one health and safety protocol. OSHA: my scapegoat so I don’t have to learn how science works! ❌

- “You tried to give them the only thing that could defeat me and thought I wouldn’t notice?!” You DIDN’T notice - not until the ninja broke the statue - and tbh, you really should’ve. I get Overlord had to be cautious so as not to reveal himself too early on, but he literally watched Borg invite the ninja to his office, tell them it’s better if Lloyd wasn’t there, then send them off with a massive statue as a parting gift. Hell, Overlord has constant eyes on Borg, right? Did he not see him making new suits and shoving them, along with the blades, into the statue? ❌

- “A PROMISE ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH!” Admittedly, I have problems with Overlord this season, but I will NEVER insult his voice acting ✅

- I really can’t tell if Borg is screaming or laughing in this scene, which is probably the only reason it made it past the censors ❌

- “Cole, throw me!” “Excuse me?!?” “Throw me!” ✅

- I know it’s just the first episode, but I’m curious as to what they’re gonna do for new toys sets this wave- “The techno blade must’ve hacked the hover-copter’s system! Zane controls it!” Oh, there they are

- “*lying* I always said Mr. Cole was my favorite!” Accurate representation of middle schoolers… I’m counting that as a sin ❌

- “Anyone else feeling all tingly inside?” No!… maybe… ✅

- “I have given you new outfits to help block the facial recognition software.” They never actually do this. ❌

- “Robots vs. ninja? Dare I ask?” Someone mentioned awhile ago that Lloyd enters like a guest star on a sitcom and honestly they’re right ✅

- Also family hug! ✅

- “With a 4.2% chance of success, I’d say hope is slim.” “That’s why it’s called hope, Zane!” I actually have a lot to say about Zane’s arc this season, but for now I’m just gonna win this as foreshadowing and move on ✅

- “We will, but only when you’re safe!” “He wants these weapons, and for some reason, he also wants you. Remember, this was sensei’s plan. They can’t break him!” “Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has yet to come. We need to worry about today!” “You said it, Zane!” “We will come back to New Ninjago City, and when we do, we’ll be ready!” I get Jay isn’t really depicted as the wise one, but was it really fair of the writers to take four inspirational, end-of-episode lines and only split them among 3 of 4 characters? Come on, give him a little credit! ❌

- ^ No. assembly line system. Could ever. F*cking. Function like this. ❌

Sentence: Ninjago Reboot….. (1/4)

#ninjago sins/wins #lloyd garmadon #ninjago #ninjago cole #ninjago jay #ninjago kai #ninjago lloyd #ninjago nya #ninjago zane #ninjago pixal

[lilredghost]

Tagged by @ragnarlothcat (hey I hope you feel better soon! I am making you soup and lending you my favourite blanket!!) and @wibzenadarksiderwithasoftheart

1.) How many works do you have on ao3?

Technically 9 but it's really 8. I don't exactly count all tied up in knots as mine (more on this later)

2.) What's your ao3 word count?

82,315, excluding the fic above. I don't think I'll make it to 100k before the year is out, but it would be cool if I did

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

Just Star Wars, actually. I thought about writing fic in my last big fandom (The Witcher), but I didn't really feel motivated to write until SW. My first fic was actually DinLuke, but then I fell in love with the Prequels!

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

Tank Top - This is the DinLuke one! I guess it's in the lead cause it's got a 1-year headstart on everything else, maybe

Their fragrance came from you - Sir, that's my emotional support fic! I love this one to death, seriously. I know I kinda made my brand on kinky sex fics and this is very much not that, but...

Blindfold me (I'm the only witness) - I do feel like this one kinda embodies Obikin's insanity tbh. Weird boundary-crossing sex for sure

Lace Me Up, Hold Me Tight - Subby Obi-Wan in a healthy relationship my beloved <3

You can call me baby (You can call me love) - My first Obikin fic. Near and dear to my heart. Stands the test of time, I think. It's mostly just very sweet

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, absolutely! I didn't used to, but now I try to reply to all of them, even if it's just with a few heart emojis.

A lot of the times when I read fic, I like to browse the comments to see speculation from other readers and what the author has to say about it.

Sooo I guess I reply to comments to spark conversation! I think it makes it a bit easier to ask questions / engage with the material as a reader, because they know I'll try to answer as best I can (and I do!!)

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

None of them!!! I don't believe in unhappy endings. Life is hard enough as it is

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I mean, they all have happy endings. But maybe Take Care of Me, Please? The idea of being loved and taken care of unconditionally is very appealing to me. I guess that's not surprising

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

Not directly on the fics themselves, but I have gotten, at this point, several anons criticising my writing and my fics here on tumblr. It's kind of exhausting because I feel like the obikin community itself seems so nice but SOMEONE is sending me these anons and it could really be anyone. It kind of makes me jump at shadows a little bit?

It's probably someone I don't know, rather than someone playing nice to my face and then sending me shit behind my back, but... What if it isn't? :(

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yep yep yep. Like I said, that's where I started. I'm sure people who subscribed to me were disappointed when I started Their fragrance came from you and Obikin didn't have sex for like... 40k words

I've done a little bit of a lot of different kinks, I think. Lingerie, somno, humiliation, boot worship, lactation, daddy kink... There are a couple I really wanna do still (pet play, body swap, etc), but at the same time I kind of want to do more of the ones I've already done? So idk, we'll see where it goes

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Noooope. I'm very interested in AUs, but I'm just not interested in crossovers

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nah, I think that mostly happens to bigger authors, and I'm pretty new. I haven't noticed anything of mine anywhere else, but I also don't spend a lot of time on other fansites these days

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also no! It's a dream of mine, a little bit, but at the same time I see why no one would be particularly interested in translating anything I've written so far. No biggie

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Okay this one is mixed. I have participated in round robins in an obikin server (that's what all tied up in knots is), but there was never any real commitment to writing those things. It was just based on whoever was free and had inspiration. I've actually been thinking I'll take my name off all tied up in knots, cause I don't particularly see that going anywhere, and I feel weird taking credit for it

HOWEVER. I would love to write a collab with someone I know. I'm not sure if I'd be any good at it, but I'd try!

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

I do feel like it has to be Obikin. I'm honestly a multishipper when it comes to Obi-Wan, but I got tired of all the anti-Jedi sentiment in some of the popular pairings (which is the same problem I had with DinLuke), so now I stick mostly to Jangobi/Kenfetti and Obikin.

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Disregarding the whole round robin fic, I really do hope to finish all of them. Keeping this section optimistically blank!

16.) What are your writing strengths?

Hm... this question took me longest to come up with an answer. I guess it's worldbuilding and smut (which are sort of on opposite ends of the spectrum, lol)

Worldbuilding obviously is more of a thing in longer fics, but I feel like even in smaller ones I'm able to incorporate background details that I'm dangerously fond of. For example, the super soft blanket Obi-Wan is very territorial over in You can call me baby (You can call me love) is a gift from Ahsoka. And in Your Body, Superimpose It On Me, Anakin's Padawan braid is in an ornate glass box on Obi-Wan's nightstand, and Obi-Wan takes a moment to, like, caress the designs on the box every day.

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

Well... I can only really write according to the mood I'm in. This was not a problem for a year or two there as I wrote shorter fics, but then I started writing Their fragrance came from you... At first, I was super depressed and so was Obi-Wan. And then the tone got lighter as I started feeling better. But then, you know, I have several chapters where the characters are supposed to be happy and light-hearted and suddenly I'm depressed again and I can't write the next chapters of my fic and then I get more upset about it because it's really important to me and it just becomes kind of a vicious cycle of feeling bad and not writing.

Maybe I need a separate sort of vent fic for when I'm upset? But again, I don't like unhappy endings. And if it has to get better at some point, then I'll have a hard time writing that unless I'm actually feeling better. If that makes sense.

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Sooo I do definitely borrow words from other languages, but I always explain them first, and they're usually more like... concepts or objects that are specific to that culture. Of course the character is thinking/speaking those words in that language; there is no translation!

I've never had a reason to have whole sentences of dialogue be in different languages, but I guess if there was a fic which needed that, I wouldn't necessarily mind doing it? But the default is writing everything in english, because, yknow, the fic is in english

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

Okay I WAS gonna say that I already answered this with the dinluke thing. But I do remember writing fanfiction for Dinosaur King which (thankfully) never saw the light of day...

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

I feel like, as my only longfic, that's gotta be Their fragrance came from you. I know a lot of people write it off immediately because it's a/b/o (or even because it's supposed to be alpha Obi-Wan), but to me it's got everything. Enemies to lovers. Fun side characters. Pining. Battles. Betrayal. Romance. Sex. Even anti-heteronormativity!

To me it feels very much like I set out to (overambitiously) write an epic, and somehow I'm succeeding. I'm not saying it's the best fic that's ever been written, but it's far exceeded any expectations I had for it when I started.

Bonus: What fic would you want to rewrite one day?

Not necessarily rewrite, but I do wanna do edits to Lace me up, because the first few chapters are just not up to a comfortable standard of writing for me. And I'd be okay with leaving it that way if it was a standalone, but I really like its sequel. Plus I have some ideas for other fics in that series, so it would kind of put all that up to scrutiny again if/when I post a third installment

Tagging

Some of my friends already did this one and I'm not EXACTLY sure who has/hasn't been tagged yet, but (if you want): @anakinsthot @demon----dean @fishnamedsushi @secretsolarsystem

#whew this was a long one #PS to ragnarlothcat babe your dialogue is sooo good and witty never doubt yourself #PS to wibz sith spells sound super cool and atmospheric!! #tag game

[twigg96]

Hii, I love all your hcs seriously! I have a request, can you make hcs about the boys dealing with a bratty s/o on a spicy night? {;

Omg @gogomeaty 😆❤️🔥 I love this so much thank you so much for the ask. I’m so so sorry this reply is so late I have been so busy. Since there will be some talks of a 🌶️ spicy nature I’ll hide the HC’s below the cut! I hope you enjoy them 🥰

Nathan- he can put up with a lot. The teasing. The name calling. The hair pulling. The constant poking and prodding. He can even handle the baby voice if he really put in effort. What he couldn’t, however, was the way his S/O practically forced him to beg for sex once he finally did decide to go to bed. It got to him. In a way he never knew he could. It was primal and all consuming. But when his partner irked him so, when they teased him to the point that he was so fucking hard, his very heartbeat hurt. He couldn’t help but want to pin his partner to the bed and spank them for being so naughty. Not hard just, enough to hear them whine and moan his name before he’d slide their pants off and finger them until they were liquid in his hand.

Pickles - he can be less than graceful when it came to his patience and a lot of times his bratty partner pushed him over the edge instead of where they wanted him. It took a lot of effort on both of their parts but eventually, they came to a point where they both knew where their boundaries lay and their game continued. Baby talk would always push Pickles hard and fast into a fury, so his partner used it very sparingly. Instead, they played dumb. Really… really… dumb. “How do drums make noise?” “Why is a snare drum called a snare?” “Oh woooow you have real strong muscles huh?” Eventuality the repeated questions and poking and prodding was enough to get Pickles’ blood boiling at the right temperature. With a single matched look the two would find a secluded spot, there was no time to find their rooms. Ripping clothing from his S/O’s body Pickles’ couldn’t handle it anymore. Plowing into his partner with one thrust he took them wherever they stood. If they wanted to humiliate themselves by asking dumbass questions then they could handle being caught getting fucked publicly.

Murderface - patience? What patience? There’s none to be found here. This boy is the perfect toy for the bratty S/O. Any teasing done, even the smallest ones were taken as a slight by Murderface, making the game all the more fun to the brat as William growled and begged them to stop their harassing throughout the day. Eventually, as their gentle teasing, which was just fun pokes and kissed turned into full groping and ass slaps by noon. Murderface grumped and growled around mordhaus at half mast until well past dinner time when instead of dinner he drug his partner into the bedroom and locked the door. Forcing them onto the bed he held them steady sliding between their legs he looked up holding his partner still firmly, “tonight… I get to have my meal in bed.”

Skwisgaar- he knew the name and played the game. The game had to be played in public. The more people they knew the better. The first to drag the other to some semblance of privacy, or hell even just go at it where they were lost the game and had to buy the other food once they were done. So whenever his brat was being bratty he simply would reach over with his long arms and pull them close, “Nows baby yous don’t want daddy to haves to spank you… do you?” He’d warn his brat giving them a look that said more than his words ever could. Of course his partner did. The game wouldn’t be any fun if he didn’t. So they always promised, with all their heart to be good, right before going back to being a total brat. Taking his S/O’s arm with more force this time, he bent them over his knee and spanked them hard and swift. He made it look so professional. Sitting upright in the perfect position, a perfect stoic expression his the erotic delight he held deep inside. However it never took long for the two to take it too far. With one stray movement his brat was sitting on Skwisgaar’s lap stroking his dick through his pants. They watched in joyful delight as his head lulled and his thin resolve wained and the others in the room slowly began to file out of the room already expecting what was to come next.

Toki - this boi is kinky. He is into the heavy stuff. Bondage. Piss play. The works. So when he found out his partner was a brat he was thrilled. He went through his usual routine. He asked all the questions. Did they mind being gaged? How much did they enjoy being choked? Were handcuffs or other forms of bondage in the picture? Of course his S/O agreed to them but Toki still took it slow. It wasn’t until they had been together for over a year that he even entertained the idea. His brat had been especially bad that day. Constantly teasing and harassing him during a work meeting, making him hard and nearly miserable all day. By the time the two went to bed his partner had just decided to go to bed fully nude. Finally having enough, Toki walked over to his closet, pulling out his box of toys. Picking out the best in the box, he returned to the bedside holding back everything he had just seeing the shit eating grin his brat help on their lips. “Let’s begins.”

#i love my mutuals #thank you so much for the ask #metalocalypse headcanon #spicy headcanons #seriously they get *spicy* #sex headcanon #metalocaplyse #dethklok #toki wartooth #nathan explosion #skwisgaar skwigelf #pickles the drummer #william murderface

[twst-drabbles]

Ruggie and Leona 3

Summary: Their travels have taken them to a place they’ve never been, to ruins almost familiar to them. There’s a crater with no reason to exist or catch their attention. And yet, Leona and Ruggie stand on the edge, gazing at it.

(Valkyrie AU tiiiime.)

The forest has long since claimed this particular patch of ruins. If one were to travel just south from this place, from the entrance of what was likely a lavish palace, you’d find that the vegetation that so often reclaims things has been cut off. It was a fine line between plants and sand, as though nature itself took a knife and forced the boundary.

It was an easy walk, an interesting exploration to a place already recorded countless times, drilled into Leona’s head from many tutors that think he’ll listen if they repeated themselves enough.

And yet, despite all those years being uninterested in a place that abruptly appeared, here Leona is, pencil at the ready to record his own findings and theories. None of his notes will make history, he knows it. Not as though he’ll ever give them to any scholar. This is all just for his own curiosity, with Ruggie who wanted to tag along.

“Wow,” Ruggie whistled out, leaning over the edge of a monstrous crater resembling a maw that craved to consume this dilapidated palace, “what do you think could’ve caused this?”

Staring at the center of the hole, something hot and itchy scratched at Leona’s brain. He couldn’t help but kick a stone into the flaw of this otherwise interesting ruins. It landed in the plants without so much as a sound.

A holy place, huh? A structure made by the very gods themselves? Then why is this place dead and falling apart like any normal corpse?

It’s nothing more than a mockery. A palace of false gold and greed.

The wind picked up, sweeping a leaf right off. At the center of this crater was a bundle of gray flowers.

Gray among green, among red and orange, among feather, among sand.

Leona walked to the edge himself, taking a seat.

“A spear,” Leona can’t take his eyes off those flowers, “thrown by a furious god, piercing the clouds to end the dreams of a power hungry fool.”

Leona can hear the flapping of orange feathers, useless useless flapping, trying to escape but they can’t. Powerless against a god, against a kin with eyes that have witnessed the end.

“Wait, really?” Ruggie’s ears perked up, rather surprised.

“Of course not.” Leona scoffed. “I don’t have a clue, so why bother asking? It’s just another story to scare kids into behaving.”

“Ugh, seriously?” Ruggie grabbed his bag, dusting it off, “Don’t pull my tail here. I was just asking.”

Leona just waved him off with a smirk. He got up, stretched a bit in the sun and made his way back to the abandoned palace.

“I’ll be inside. If you fall in, don’t come yelling for me. I know you can get out yourself.”

“So caring…” Ruggie murmured under his breath, leaning closer to the crater out of spite. “Huh.”

Oddly enough, Ruggie’s fingers itched to dig in, to grab those flowers. Maybe they’ll be worth something?

Ah, he shouldn’t. For all he knows, they could be something marking a grave. Still though, those flowers. They sure are interesting looking.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst-drabbles #twst-drabbles exclusive #drabble #savanaclaw #leona #leona kingscholar #ruggie #ruggie bucchi #valkyrie au #reader insert

[they-them-that]

"My Next Life as a Villainess" is hetero actually... 😅

I really appreciate that we got a reverse harem anime that includes female love interests and I hope for more queer anime like it but MNLAAV (making this easy for myself lol) does not do the sapphics any justice. Not to rob any girls or queers of their enjoyment of the anime but for myself, I was pretty let down with just how straight the series actually is.

Fewer female love interests

Especially as the roster expands, no new women have been added to the list of romantic options and it's overpowered with male love interests. The switch game only lets you pursue the male characters and the upcoming movie seems to center around a new guy.

The female characters honestly just feel like supporting characters after their initial introduction which is the height of their romantic endeavours. After that, they kind of just exist to fill up the harem but never make any progress. The male characters get to assert themselves romantically and it's treated with significance but the girls have been doing that since the beginning yet it's waved off for comedy. In the pajama party scene, Mary directly states she wants a woman as a partner and says she likes Catarina but Catarina says it should've been given to talk about a man??? She ends up being coded as straight which defeats the whole purpose of a bisexual harem.

Sexist Writing

Besides Catarina, the girls designs and personalities are super feminized that appeals more to straight men than queer women. Mary is the most assertive of the three but it's portrayed comically and ultimately futile. Sophia prioritizes her brother pursuing Catarina, putting herself second despite her special connection to her. Maria feels like the most important candidate out of everyone as the videogame's protagonist but she's the most stereotypically written and ends up getting sidelined too. All three of them are also written to always need help from Catarina or the men when the guys never need help from them back.

On top of that, a lot of the conflict in the series are perpetrated by women. Only female classmates harass Maria but we hardly ever see men being antagonistic. The only time we do is the male love interests doing it to each other which is framed more romantically, unlike the vapid portrayal of women's jealousy.

The same goes with the trope of girls flocking around men that the anime uses handsomely. Why do none of the girls have a swarm of men? They're canonically attractive and popular but it's never shown unless it's through jealous women.

Even Catarina's mom is usually the character to scold her despite in the beginning of the anime, the mom and dad came off as equally doting. It just feels sexist to portray the mom as the nag and the dad is just basically uninvolved unless we need a "good parent" moment.

What we need

I want a reverse harem bisexual anime that doesn't have questionable dynamics (like incest and age gap considering Catarina is technically in her 20's surrounded by 15 year olds). It needs an equal amount of male and female characters and it should have gender queer/gender nonconforming characters too! The girls should be just as much romantic options as the guys, just being there and being attracted to the heroine isn't enough. I need to see her get flustered with the girls and have genuine romantic moments! They should get to kiss and hold each other and have their feelings taken seriously! And the protagonist should actually be queer?? Even if she's oblivious, she can't dismiss women's advances based on heteronormative assumptions. And all the love interests should still respect the heroine's boundaries.

#my next life as a villainess #my next life as a villianess all routes lead to doom #mnlaav #anime

[pruning-the-minds-garden]

A Question, or "Searching for Sensitive Solutions"

Okay so my question is going under a "Read More" because I need to explain around it a little but, and also because the question itself is... spicy... in the rhetorical, not sexual/kinky sense. Thoughts, input and advice regarding it are free to come in via replies, or via Asks (either anon or not). I've disabled reblogs. Anyway -

For context and psychological background, I'm an AMAB person who presents to 99% of the world as a man. Most of the world addresses me by male pronouns, treat me as they would a man (I get taken more seriously by doctors for no good GD reason, my ideas have more weight in general despite never asking for that, etc etc, you all know what the package looks like), and for most of my life that was never even a thing. I spent some time and energy questioning my gender, and thought the answer to the question was "no." But, it turns out I was asking the wrong question that whole time. I should have been asking "am I the man (i.e. the gender) I've been told I am?" instead of "am I a woman?" There's more than just the two options.

I've also got my share of psychological issues. I won't go into why, but there's a fair amount of rejection sensitivity (the most relevant Dx to this conversation), PTSD (of the traditional and "c" varieties), anxiety, depression, etc. Yes, I have meds. Yes, I was in counseling. No, I'm not in it right now for insurance reasons (insert "America is a healthcare dystopia" memes here). I place a high premium on not burdening others with my issues, but I mention them so you can understand things better. Anyway, on to the actual question.

One of the most frequent things that I see (and bearing in mind I understand sampling bias and selective memory here), in bios or pinned comments or whatever, is some form of "Men do not interact." Now, that's a perfectly valid boundary to assert. I also understand why people (mostly women) assert it. I get it and I'm not saying don't do it, or they shouldn't do it, or that I am in any way shaming or whatever anyone who does - no, none of that is the case. What I am seeking, is advice on how I can better frame and respond to that, so it doesn't make me feel shitty (or less shitty) and in this semi-rejected liminal space. So, how do I do that? Let me elaborate on the precise situation (see? There's a reason I put this under a Read More).

My thought process generally goes something like this: "Oh, men don't interact? Well I'm not a man I'm enby so-" "Yeah but if they saw a picture of you they'd disagree. Society sees you as a man. You were raised as a man. You dress as a man. Come on, be honest with yourself here." "I do those things because they were forced on me at such an early age that I don't know how to stop doing them. I've never actually wanted to do any of them and they don't make me feel good, they never have. There's a reason I identify as enby-" "You're way too masc for them and honestly you're being one of those men for even wanting to stay and disrespecting their clearly-asserted boundary." "They are probably an SA victim so how dare you prioritize wanting to have this particular person in your social media circle above their psychological well-being, because seeing you would likely be triggering for them so you need to leave." "Well but being told to get out sight unseen is triggering fo--" "THAT'S NOT THE SAME" "But I... okay."

And, well... yeah. I know that the rejection sensitivity is not rational. I realize it is an overreaction, caused by having to deal with a lifetime of rejection and undermining of my sense of self and self-worth, and that none of those things are the doing of that random person on social media. They are just clearly asserting a boundary, generally for their own mental health and well-being. Also, replies that tell me that the above thought process is wrong, are not helpful. First, I already know that. Second, I present the thought process not for your critical discoursal review, but because that's what the voices in my head say in the moment and sometimes that something isn't the prettiest, cleanest, most acceptable form of a given argument, and I want you to have an honest insight into that before moving on.

So, what I am looking for is a more sensitive mental model, a way to look at it or frame it or respond to it that both preserves their mental well-being and my mental well-being. The things that immediately jumped to mind are ways to avoid seeing it at all, and those essentially consist of blocking blogs that have that DNI in the bio because every interaction would be a replay of the above conversation. However, it occurs to me that regardless of any practical or social implications (which are significant), and regardless of my wanting to reach as wide an audience as possible with some of my content (the safety/consent stuff) and that working against that goal... it also has a psychological down side. That is basically me actively rejecting them pre-emptively. I know that they likely have no interest in my accepting them, especially, but it's more the personal implications of casually rejecting people that I take issue with. It's precisely that kind of attitude, one that casually says "nope, you're wrong for me" and permanently excises a person from your life after reading three lines of text about them, that really triggers my rejection sensitivity. So, I don't want to be performing those same triggering actions routinely unto others, even if they'd not have the same (or any) effect, because of the splash-back effect that it would have on me. I reserve blocking for fairly serious or egregious stuff.

Anyway, what's a person to do? I don't like seeing that time and time and time again and having that dialogue play out in my mind where I have to interrogate my own gender, and whether I'm "enby enough" to interact with a given person. I also don't like blocking people for no (good) reason. I'd like better options, but I'm at a loss for them right now.

Thoughts?

[lady-necropolis]

Halloween at the Ministry

Hello I have risen from the grave (my bed) to give you some hcs that are absolutely none of the requests you have sent in (longform writing and I are not getting along at the moment and this is the first day all week that I feel even capable of doing anything for this blog at all). So here are some HCs about Halloween at the ministry!

Halloween or Samhain, as the clergy celebrates it, is the most important celebration in the calendar at the ministry. Preparations for the festivities begin months in advance and everyone from upper clergy to the ghouls has a specific role.

Terzo is particularly known to go absolutely insane during the preparations. He becomes a sort of bridezilla, having meltdowns because the siblings couldn’t find the right brand of fake cobwebs to hang in the catacombs (not that they even need to put up more cobwebs but you get the point). He goes. All. Out. The ministry is decorated head to toe and he even works with the curatorial team in the art collection to plan specially spooky themed exhibits and installations in the corridors. No matter which Papa is in charge, they leave the planning to Terzo cause he’s the best at it and he’ll literally throw a fit if they don’t.

It’s a day off from duties but there’s lots of fun things planned for everyone. Pumpkin carving, apple bobbing, lots of games for the kiddos and stuff. It wasn’t always like that, more of a solemn holiday before Primo came in and decided to make it fun for everyone. He creates a corn maze in October and makes sure the pumpkin patch is full of good pickings, no one goes without a pumpkin.

Costumes. Candy. Unholy masquerades. It’s taken very seriously and everyone is incredibly drunk by the end of the night.

Being so close to hell, the boundaries between the living and the realm of the dead are already so thin at the ministry, meaning that they are almost non-existent on Samhain. Spirits are free to come and go as they please.

They’re also included in the celebration; people leave offerings for them, cool trinkets and food. Mountain always makes sure to leave beautiful flowers and cool pebbles he’s found on his walks through the woods. They also leave empty seats for the spirits during dinner and mass.

Everyone in the ministry lights their hearths in the morning on Samhain, if they don’t have a hearth they light candles and let them burn out over the day.

Around the witching hour the entire ministry gathers in the fields for the ceremonial bonfire. It’s lit by all the fire ghouls. Dew looks forward to it every year and it’s one of the rare times you’ll see the lad excited about anything. He may or may not jump through the flames and roll around in the coals like a chinchilla in a dust bath.

As the night comes to a close and the party dies down, everyone brings a flame from the bonfire back to their dorms to relight their hearth, welcoming in the darker half of the year.

#the band ghost #ghost bc #nameless ghouls #papa emeritus iii #papa emeritus #ghost hc

[atiny-piratequeen]

I feel bullied and upset because everyone says im boring because I only bottom and dont feel confident or genuine if I try to take charge. It feels so shitty to be treated like Im inferior just because I dont have the drive to top one of my biases or that I enjoy what I enjoy. Wouldn’t the real problem be pushing myself or allowing someone else to force me into doing something Im not comfortable with or acting fake and not being true to myself? Why is it even here on every blog I see everyone “bottom only couldn’t be me” or talking about how boring it is or that people feel bad for someone who only bottoms like what is so wrong about this? Between those comments and the hate I get for not being someone who would not “peg that man into the ground” Im so tempted to leave kpop it hurts every time I see one of the writers I look up too shit on people or joke about bottoms and the twitter fandoms are even worse

Tbh the bottom only kpop stans are the majority. Im not gonna sit here and lie to you and say i havent made joking comments in passing bc top only stans are in vast minority and switch folks will be switch folks.

The only thing i can say is if someones being truly malicious about it, its time for you to block them. You curate your own Fandom and internet spaces and if someones repeated comments are making you feel bad or self consious, its time to cut ties with them. Theres nothing wrong with your preferences and if you prefer to be a bottom thats fine. Theres absolutely nothing wrong with you, just like theres nothing wrong with switch stans. Or top stans. Your preference is your own and that's not something you should let anyone change for you.

You cant and shouldn't stop people from telling jokes about preferences but if they're coming at you specifically or you feel indirectly targeted, you draw your boundaries and block people. That's just how it needs to be if its something affecting you so much you can't enjoy things anymore.

At the end of the day none of us are actually fucking any of these idols (the amount of ndas that need to be signed means a mf who WAS wouldnt say shit anyway) so really none of this needs to be taken so seriously to the point that its making another person feel bad for their preferences in hypothetical situations anyway

#im sorry people are making your Fandom experiences shit but i really do stand by it being time to hit the mfin block button #bc life is too short for mfs to be arguing top bottom preferences with idols that literally are not with us anyway #asks #anontiny

[althedasworld]

I internalized the constant dismissal of my requests for help and support as my needs and emotions being unimportant.

Not worth anyone's time or effort.

My frustration was my own fault and pain or fear was made up just to get attention. Of which none could be spared.

I was in my late thirties before I made any real headway on being able to even identify a need or negative emotion of my own. I'm now in my forties and very very slowly teaching myself that demanding to be heard and taken seriously is my right.

That I have to set and maintain boundaries towards people who do not accept and respect this, for my own safety and health.

Don't teach your kids that they don't matter. How you treat them is how they'll treat themselves, they have no other way to measure their own worth other than what you model.

Always always remember that what you say only counts for 10% of what you teach them, the rest is how you act. Including when you talk to them.

You might say "you shouldn't allow others to touch you if you don't want it" but then demand that they kiss grandma when they don't want to? You just showed them that they have to perform physical acts of intimacy on demand when a person who has power over them demands it.

You might tell them they can always count on you to help them if they have problems and then at dinner conversation discuss and condemn acquaintances who mooch on family. You just taught them that you'll resent and consider that a burden.

"You can always tell me anything".. and then berate, judge, interrogate or dismiss what they say? They won't do that again. You taught them you don't care, you can't be trusted with what hurts and doubts and fears they have.

And now they know this is how the world sees them, that this is who they are. Because you as their adult is their model for that, the one they base their understanding of themselves, humans and the world on.

Where else would that information come from? You chose to make them, you kept them alive while they were helpless, you are the center of their world for all the time they've been in it. They trust you until you teach them that trusting is dangerous.

#psychology #parenting

[brsb4hls]

Managed to binge Sex Education (the first time I just stopped after season 1, it didn't really catch my interest, I was mainly in it for Gillian Anderson).

It's not a bad show, there are some compelling storylines, it touches important subjects and it is kinda charming.

However, there's one thing I do not like and that's inconsistency. (Or being hypocritical in general, not the case here, but same lane)

(Critical thoughts and discussion about drug use under the cut).

I feel the show was inconsistent, mainly in regards to handeling the subject of sexuality.

Presenting serious issues with a bit of humor is helpfull and healing, and sometimes done well (like, chili-oil as lubricant, the consequences of that and the transition to talking about menopausal issues was ok f.e.), but to me sexuality was often used way too slapsticky and silly. Also for cheap shock value.

And that doesn't fit the tone of the show, where the subject is meant to be taken seriously. Some jokes are to immature for that and missing heart.

One storyline that stood out to me was Hope's attempt to remodel the school. To me, that was actually the heaviest subject, because additional to regular disciplinic measures, she tried to manipulate and divide in an insidious way. The public shaming was a facist move even, truely horrible.

So I was looking forward to the students fighting back and when they did it was with a bunch of genitals and a shitty Peaches song.

In this particular case I didn't feel like it was the correct answer. Adam and Cal had very different issues, that had nothing to do with what the slideshow presented.

At least the consequence was realistic. Of course it was over the top and the school lost funding.

Fighting for freedom of speech, artistic freedom, ones own boundaries and bodily autonomy could have been done in a much more powerful way.

Another thing I felt was off was the depiction of drug use.

Maeve's whole storyline throughout the entire show was about how destructive addiction can be. And I think it was handled ok and realistic.

On the other hand we have Eric happily taking party drugs and a mushroom trip being used for shits and giggles.

Don't get me wrong, I believe in everyone's right to do to their own body what they want, I'm not moralizing here.

But I've also seen first hand what drugs can do to people emotionally and physically and there is no difference between pills, mushrooms, weed, alcohol and heroin. Literally none.

All off them can evidently get you addicted physically and mentally and can mess up your mental and physical health.

Even if you take them just once. It can get you killed if your heart can't take it or you forget to hydrate. That's common knowledge .

So why does the show make a difference between happy drugs and bad drugs?

I get, that Erin's addiction had more dire consequences because she had kids, but a guy flinging around a kitchen knife while on shrooms (yes, actual thing that happened in my social circle) can also harm people.

I'm not saying creative works need to have a certain moral stance regarding drug use. We all have critical thinking skills (hopefully) that we should use while consuming media, but it really ticked me off that there was such a huge difference in the way Sex Education depicted substance use/abuse.

Also, maybe it's my age, but I felt like the show was way over the top with a lot of stuff.

And a bit to soapy.

Well, I did like certain characters and their journey, otherwise I wouldn't have watched all if it.

And the soundtrack fits perfectly (which is extremely important to me, ill-fitting songs or score can ruin a whole show for me and the other way round.)

Maybe someone wants to give their opinion, I like to reflect on stuff and I'm still debating the show internally (so at least it did manage some sort of impact, a sign of a certain quality).

#sex education #sex ed netflix #sex education spoilers #very mild #cw drugs #cw death #cw drug use #sex education critical #my take

[echoing-oursong]

I absolutely hate how in all of Steve's ships, he always gets the short end of the stick, canon, and fanon alike. Like Steve canonically just wants to be loved. It's shown how much he desires it and how much love he has to give towards his partners (like in s2 where he wanted to build his life around Nancy). And yet people take him and put him into borderline abusive situations, where he constantly gets belittled or made fun of. His dreams of having a big family are laughed at and not taken seriously, when his entire character in ST revolves around love and found family. I'm just so sick of it. Nobody in fanon truly has Steve's back when he gets into relationships. Robin acts ooc in favor of her own relationship or sides with Eddie idk why.

Steddie truly is H//rringrove 2.0 it's annoying bc it could have had potential.

Stonathan after s2 doesn't make much sense either. Like from both povs. Jonathan still doesn't like Steve, which fine he doesn’t have to take his apology in s1. He hates what Steve stands for (he's judging him based on popularity) and for being Nancy's ex. Steve feels neutral towards him after s1, but then Jonathan willingly cheated with Nancy. I doubt he wants to date him after that. They are not friends, and the basis of their relationship would be Nancy bc they are both romantically involved with her, which isn't a strong enough foundation imo. I know they are aus where none of that happens, but I can't really look past it. Maybe I lack creativity and imagination.

Anyway, I don't ship Steve with anyone because the fandom doesn't get him and puts him into the worst situations. I only ship him with my very own OC, who would kill anyone with Robin if they would disrespect him in the way the fandom does lmao. But yeah, I usually don't ever read any shipping fics bc they are usually ooc. I only love to read Stobin fics or any fics with the kids and his sibling relationships with them.

ngl steve ships for the fandom are just ‘how much can we shit on steve and show how we have an incredible bias and show how much we hate him’. like that’s the vibes i’m getting all the time. and yeah it’s insane how steve ships are just like you said where steve gets the short end of the stick. honestly people are just allergic to giving steve what he wants because they hate him! lmaooo steve antis want to shit on us saying that ‘wow they over exaggerate the hate steve gets’ I PROMISE YOU WE ARENT BECAUSE WHENEVER I TRY TO SEARCH FOR STEVE CONTENT ITS JUST ABOUT STEVE BEING IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS OR WORSHIPPING THE GROUND HIS PARTNER WALKS ON! i just want steve to be loved and fanon wont even let him be loved by his besties either 😭😭😭😭 him being with his own best friends in canon is just ‘okay how much can we verbally abuse steve and constantly dismiss his own boundaries’. honestly how people react with robin and steve being best friends makes me the most mad because robin in fics/headcanons doesn’t even act like a best friends to steve. it’s to the point where i want to yell at steve to drop her as a friend with how fanon portrays their friendship

legit steddie did have a lot of potential and then that got ruined hardcore

honestly i never understood stonathan even in season 1! especially because so many jonathan stan’s were (and still are) so anti steve! which genuinely makes shit sense like why do you want your favorite character with another character that you absolutely hate? but yes from both sides it makes no sense whatsover for them to be together. legit jonathan at murray’s place brings up steve and then ignores the fact that he himself talked about steve. also ps i’m so sick of people calling that not cheating THEY CHEATED! just own up to it and fuck off. honestly i can’t look it past either in aus where it doesn’t happen. honestly steve and jonathan are so different to me that i can’t see them working past two weeks (same as how i see ronance)

same i don’t ship steve with anyone! unless it’s an oc that i create! but yeah i just can’t see steve with anyone in canon. i do read sometimes oc x steve focs but also half the time they’re just like ‘okay steve constantly has to apologize for how he was in high school’ which liek steve was just minding his own business - do we have to have multiple fics where nancy and jonathan apologize to people 24/7 for being in their own bubble? actually i need that now - if it happens to steve we should also make that happen for every single main character

#stranger things #steve harrington #answered asks #thanks 😊

[borderline-gays-club]

Progress moment id like to share!!!

Ok so I went on like 3 dates with a guy over the span of like 2ish months? Prob less time, but anyway doesn’t matter. And things were going well till the 3rd date…

He didn’t fully confirm the time till like a day before, he showed up almost an hour late (and smelled of booze from the nite before), and then broke a boundary of mine at the end (although he said he misunderstood me. At this point idk if I wasn’t clear enough or hes just saying that. Idk doesn’t matter now).

Anyway yah all pretty bad things, even if none of it was malicious. But I seriously considered still giving him a chance as long as he never repeated all those things.

But then I started to feel conflict internally. I was feeling like I wanted to hide all these things from my friend (who’s opinion I deeply value and respect), and started to feel like I had to like “teach” him a lot of shit.

So I really sat with the feeling and sorted thru my data rather than listening to the voice in my head that likes to gaslight me.

And according to the data I gathered from just observing and interacting with him, he actually had a good amount of red flags that were more subtle (at least for me). I’ll list them just for me to look back on.

-bartender that drinks for his job (personal red flag cus ppl that drink heavily are triggering for me)

-mentioned blacking out recently

-definitely has been in the service industry for a while (red flag cus ppl tend to get stuck in that cycle and I would kno)

-mentioned something a bit strange abt turning empathy on and off. (Mayb not a red flag but I guess I was more confused abt it)

-didn’t follow thru with something I asked him to do (wasn’t taking it serious enough).

-was pretty bad at communicating, like didn’t respond for over a week when trying to make plans.

And ya there were prob more little things I just can’t remember but those are the ones I can think of rn.

So ya looking at all of this I was like damn..I guess he’s got to go!! Bc also I notice a red flag in myself is when I feel the need to b sneaky and like omit information. And like trying to excuse or reason with myself that’s oh theyre not bad, they’re not malicious etc.

And to note, bc my past experiences with ppl have been so horrendous, my scale of wat is ok and wat isn’t is incredibly fucked. Where basically if it’s not blatantly terrible then I’m like welll it can change! Or like it’s fine I can ignore it!

In conclusion, even if ppl aren’t malicious or actively trying to hurt me, if they cannot meet me where I’m at and respect my time and energy then it simply cannot work.

It’s taken me so long to be able to really be active abt this but I’m here now and I’m proud of myself for ending things with him. Bc honestly it prob would’ve just gotten worse if he showed me that much of himself so early on.

I don’t have hard feelings towards him, and I was excited to pursue this D/s dynamic with him but unfortunately it didn’t work. It was hard to make that decision, and tbh I cried abt it, but I’d rather b disappointed than to have my fucking heart shattered and pummeled again lol.

All I have to do is see all the mistakes I made in my most recent relationship and how it just destroyed me bc I actively ignored all the red flags. NEVER AGAIN!! I fucking refuse.

#actually bpd #bgc #bpd #bpd thoughts #quiet borderline #actually borderline #bpd shit

[avery-j-smith]

are u ok with all the girls/half naked models ur boyfriend follows? i don’t mean any disrespect by this- it’s something that i’ve struggled with in my past 2 relationships. my ex refused to unfollow those kinds of girls even though i was clearly upset about it. my current bf doesn’t follow any girls, but i’ve seen that he used to like their photos before we started dating and a month after we started dating. he stopped and i told him that it’s not ok with me, but sometimes i still think about it or wonder if he likes them and i just don’t see it. it honestly triggers me so bad and i get so insecure and mad. i’m just curious if it genuinely doesn’t bother you at all, or how you don’t take it too seriously or allow it to cause problems? 🤍

no disrespect taken! i am okay with the girls he follows because we established pretty early on in our relationship that finding other ppl attractive is normal. if i find someone else hot that doesn’t mean i want that specific person and that im going to cheat on my bf to be with that person. other people can be hot and yet their attractiveness doesn’t take away from what i feel towards my bf and how attractive i perceive him. and i know he feels the same because we’ve discussed this.

appreciating beauty is normal and in my opinion human nature and in the end a very superficial thing. i know that at the end of the day, our relationship is built on much more than our looks and that’s how i know it won’t break because of looks.

but i also want to say that every relationship is different and what works for one relationship won’t for another. every relationship must create their own boundaries and if this is something that u find is a deal breaker don’t shame urself for it!

however if u feel that this is something u want to change about urself than i encourage u to maybe put my theory to the test to prove that finding someone attractive doesn’t mean everything. for example i am obsessed with this male kpop idol named hyunjin from the group stray kids and i find him so cool and so hot. but i would never cheat on my bf with this guy just bc i simply find him cool and hot (also the likelihood of me even meeting him is slim to none). but just bc i find him hot doesn’t mean i think of my bf as less hot. so try to find a celeb, model, singer or actor that u find hot and notice how u feel regarding ur bf and how it doesn’t change ur love.

also maybe u should try talking to ur bf about all this in an open and honest manner just to understand each other better. communicating is so important, so tell him ur insecurities and worries he may help put them to rest. i hope this helps <3 if u have more questions pls feel free asking me :)

[itsjuneofallthings]

dear yuletide writer 2022

Dear yuletide writer

I’m intimidated. I’ve read a few letters to know what to write to you in this letter and- well. 

I’m none the wiser but I’m terrified I won’t give you enough information so I really hope this is helping!

So, first of all (actually secondly, to be fair): THANK YOU SO MUCH!

This is my first yuletide and everything is so exciting and now I’m writing this letter! This is going to be SO MUCH FUN and I sincerely hope it will be the same for you!

I hope you'll have the utmost fun writing and please, don’t just write for me! It’s first and foremost for you and I’m just a very happy beneficiary!

This being said, let’s get started: 

Likes

M/M Pairings (But I don’t mind and also like good written M/F Pairings, or M/M/F) Friendships Found Family Dynamics Soulmate-AUs Hurt/Comfort (dealing with PTSD, trauma, phobics, you name it, and being taken care of, getting help and being loved) Slow Burn Smut (including, blowjobs, handjobs, analsex, fingering, etc, just mind the dnws please :)) Porn with Plot Angst Fluff Happy Endings Cuddling Tender Touches (holding the neck, caressing the cheek/lip, hand in hair) kisses getting together first times

DNW: 

A/B/O Dynamics Rape/Non-Con Incest BDSM Dom/Sub (slight undertones are alright, but please no full-on BDSM Relationship, thank you) Underage Abuse of animals Bloodplay Watersports Impact Play de-aging humiliation vampires/werwolves AU reader-insert

My beloved fandoms are

The Hurog-Series

Seriously, I LOVE THE BOOKS!

Oreg got me after his first sentence and I kept falling deeper and deeper for him. 

I love his banter, his wit and his power, and I love that he, as the probably most powerful mage walking around, still has boundaries. 

I love his and Wardwicks dynamics, the friendship, love and trust they share and of course I love Wardwick, our little dumb looking hero with heart of gold and caring nature. 

I also really, really love Tisala because she is a wonderful, loving person and a fierce badass and she wouldn’t hesitate to put Ward back in his place if she had to. 

That being said: I’d love to read something about Oreg being taken care of, I’m sure he still suffers from plenty of PTSD and he deserves hugs and love and soft strokes through his hair. 

Maybe, if you’d also like, a polyamourus relationship between the three of them, maybe some banter between Tosten and Oreg, maybe just deep and reassuring friendship moments between the dragon and the hurogmeten. 

Anyway, I’ll be happy! 

A Quiet Place

These movies. 

THESE MOVIES. 

I love the world, the always luring danger, the silence, the smallest sounds are doom, the atmosphere. 

I love Regan and I love Emmett and I love Regan and Emmett (But NOT as a romantic couple! This is really, really DNW!)

I love their dynamics, the speech barriers, the taking care, the father/daughter-big brother/little sister vibes

To be honest, I have no specific prompt, I’d just love to read some fics of them!

(okay, while I’m writing, maybe ASL lessons? Their own language? Gift giving? Taking care of emmetts wound (Not in a weird sexual way)? the fallout after the radio station? I don’t- I just- you know? You know. 

Olympus has fallen (Movies)

Mike Banning is a walking disaster and I love him for that. 

He and his (imho) boyfriend are kinda doomed from the start (how good can something run, when it is your job to literally take a bullet for your husband?) but they make it work, while screaming “DRAMA” and running from terrorists. 

Again, I guess, no prompts for this fandom, too?, but I don’t (really don’t) mind canon typical violence and speech. 

I’m pretty sure someone REALLY needs to start to look after Mike before he burns out (wouldn’t that be a lovely task for our beloved president asher?) So yes, he also deserves some comfort (and to be honest: therapy).

That being said, also Ben deserves his PTSD outburst, his nightterrors after nearly being killed by terrorist (twice!) and his fears and panic attacks being take care of (and therapy) 

But this doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship, great friendships are also this: great!

Maybe they didn’t even like each other at the beginning? (Mike can be bossy, to be fair) ;)

Chernobyl

My beloved. 

Boris and Valerie have written hurt, no comfort wide across their lovely faces in big, bolt letters but they deserve some comfort nonetheless, right? Right!

I’d like the fear and the glooming doom, the invisible death, lingering in every breath take, the fighting against windmills and against invisible, untouchable party members who just order something so utterly stupid that-! 

I like the ship of them because the ever present fear of being caught, (generally don’t like homophobia, but canon and period typical homophobia are such a great fuel for drama and hurt/comfort plots…) and that middle aged men can still find and fall in love. 

But also, the friendship between these two is awesome and I love to read more about them.

So, that’s it. 

I hope this got you some insight, feel free to also browse my ao3 (or tumblr) for more, it this isn’t enough. 

Have a great yuletide!

And, again, thank you so much! 

lots of love

masked_madness

~~~ Mini Challenges! ~~~

Yuleporn

#yuletide #yuletide 2022 #dear yuletide writer