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#nolan team
zu-is-here · 8 months
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coming soon ♪
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I mean…
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Do I even have to say it?
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hauntedppgpaints · 4 months
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on the inherent impermanence of friendships in the nhl.
( x. x. x. x. x. x. x. x. x. x. x. x. x. x. x. x. )
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flyerskay · 1 year
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Happy four year anniversary to this moment I think about at least once a week 🥲
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aliavian · 5 months
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New ChibiCFVY comic! Starring Team SSSN(N) again! 🥰
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vroomology · 6 months
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nolan patrick // 'headaches', marilyn hacker
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fatum679 · 3 months
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How about a magic trick?
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This is perfect and genius!
You will look at this forever like me 100%
Okay, now I'm not only cast Ewan for the role of the Joker, but also Tom <3
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letsgetrowdy43 · 1 year
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❀ My littlest loves au ❀
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Welcome to my first ever au!!
This is gonna be used as the master list where I will post all of the link to updates/requests/blurbs/new chapters/insta edits
Everything will also be posted under the #mylittlelovesau!!
This au will follow this life of a mother who ends up pregnant with her best friend (you will find out who in the prologue). The fic will consist of found family and a slow burn romance between her and Mark Estapa!!
❀ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬
Prologue- we're just getting started Chapter one- guilt-ridden Chapter two- road trips and quiet mornings Chapter three- in all fairness
❀ 𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐛𝐬/𝐈𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬
Mark finds out she's pregnant The reader has a breakdown abt something and Mark is there Mother's Day!!requests are open!!
❀ 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚 𝐄𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐬
Life with little miss flo Flo takes on Tampa
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the boyssssss
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sailorb00 · 2 years
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he may be an idiot, but he's their idiot.
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hockeylovee12 · 10 months
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My Captains Sister-Adam Fantilli
Chapter Two
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Warnings: controlling and toxic behavior, cursing and Nolan being incredibly overprotective and kinda a dick
Lucy sat in her room, her stomach twisting with guilt. She knew she needed to apologize to Adam and set things right between them. She picked up her phone and dialed his number, but as soon as he answered, Nolan burst into the room.
"What are you doing?" he demanded, grabbing the phone from her hand.
"I need to talk to Adam," Lucy replied, trying to keep her voice steady.
Nolan shook his head. "No way. You're not seeing him again. End of story."
Lucy felt her anger rising. "I'm an adult, Nolan. You can't control my life like this."
Nolan just glared at her "While you're living under my roof, I can damn well control who you see." He told her leaving the room before she could respond.
Lucy waited until Nolan had left for hockey practice before sneaking out of the house. She wandered around campus, trying to kill time until practice was over. Finally, she made her way to Adam's dorm, heart pounding in her chest.
Adam answered the door, looking surprised to see her. "What are you doing here?" he asked, frowning.
"I had to apologize," Lucy said simply.
Adam hesitated for a moment before stepping aside to let her in. 
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Meanwhile Luca was finishing dinner with a few of the freshmen when Nolan walks into the restaurant. 
"Hey Nolan!" Gavin says excited to see his captain and friend but soon realizes Nolan is not in a cheerful mood.
"Luca I need you to get me into your dorm" Nolan orders 
"Uh ya sure why?" Luca asks taking out his wallet 
"Lucy's there with Adam" Nolan says clearly displeased with the situation 
Luca sighs, setting a $20 down on the table to cover his meal before grabbing his keys and saying a quick goodbye to his friends, leaving the restaurant with Nolan.
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Adam and Lucy were starting to relax in each other's company when Nolan and Luca burst into the room.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Nolan barked, grabbing Lucy's arm and yanking her towards the door.
Adam stood up, ready to defend her. "It's not her fault," he said, voice low and dangerous.
But Nolan wasn't listening. "Stay away from my sister," he growled before dragging Lucy out of the room.
Lucy's heart was breaking as she stumbled out onto the street, tears streaming down her face. She felt embarrassed and angry, as Nolan practically dragged her the whole way home. She knew she felt something for Adam, something she hadn't felt before, something that kept her up all night long.
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Over the next few days Nolan’s overprotective behavior only got worse, and Lucy got more and more frustrated. She couldn't believe he would interfere with her personal life like she’s some sort of child. Even worse treat his own teammate like shit. She gave him the silent treatment and avoided him at all costs.
Nolan was equally mad at Lucy and Adam. He couldn't believe they would betray his trust like that. Adam knew Lucy was off limits and if he didn't respect it Nolan decided he was going to make his life a living hell until he did.
During the following practice, He singled out Adam during a drill in front of the whole team, criticizing his every move and berating him in front of everyone. Adam could feel the eyes of his teammates on him, and he felt his anger rising.
"Are you even listening to me, Fantilli?" Nolan barked. "You're not even trying. This is unacceptable."
A few of their teammates exchanged worried glances as they watched the tense exchange between Adam and Nolan. A few of the freshmen looked uncomfortable, and a few seniors looked bored. 
Adam gritted his teeth. He knew Nolan was just trying to show him who was boss, but he couldn't help but feel singled out and humiliated.
"I am trying," Adam said through gritted teeth. "Maybe if you stopped yelling at me and gave me a chance, I could actually do something."
Nolan's face turned red with anger. "Don't you dare talk back to me, rookie," he growled. "I am your captain, and you will do as I say."
Adam felt his blood boil. He hated being talked down to, especially by someone who he felt was being unfair. He took a deep breath and tried to compose himself. He tried.
"You know what, Nolan? Go fuck yourself! Run your stupid drills with your stupid fucking self" he said, ripping off his gloves. "I'm not going to put up with your crap anymore." Adam turns to leave the ice when he gets knocked down from behind. 
Adam looks up to see that Nolan had just pushed him. Adam quickly gets himself up and takes a swing at Nolan, and soon the two of them were grappling on the ice surrounded by their stunned teammates. It took Grano, Portillo and Keato to pull the two apart before it got seriously out of hand. 
Grano held Adam back as he attempted to clock Nolan once more in the jaw leaving his attempt unsuccessful then proceeding to somewhat usher Adam off of the ice and towards the dressing room, where he began taking his gear off. 
Once Adam had changed he found his phone and he decided he needed to talk to Lucy. He sent her a quick message before gathering his things and leaving the rink unnoticed. 
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Nolan stormed into the house, slamming the door shut behind him. Lucy could hear him muttering under his breath as he threw his hockey bag in the corner of the living room. She could see a huge red mark on his cheek, and she couldn't help but ask what had happened.
"It's nothing, Lucy," Nolan muttered, refusing to meet her eyes.
"It doesn't look like nothing," Lucy said, annoyance growing in her voice
Nolan took a deep breath, not sure how to explain what had gone down between him and Adam. "We got into a fight," he finally said.
Lucy's eyes widened. "A fight? Why?"
Nolan had the audacity to scoff at this question, “Why? What do you fucking think we got into a fight?! Seriously Lucy maybe if you weren’t out here whoring yourself out to my fucking teammates, I wouldn’t be punching them.” 
Lucy’s mouth drops wide open hearing the words her brother just said, “Go fuck yourself Nolan!” Lucy yelled clenching her fist “You don’t know what the fuck your talking about and seriously thank god Adam punched you. I just wished he could’ve done it a little fucking harder maybe then some fucking sense could’ve been knocked into your head!” Lucy lets out a slightly dramatic scream before walking to her room and slamming the door hard enough to make the walls shake. 
As she was thinking about what to do next, her phone buzzed. It was a text from Adam.
"Can we talk?"
A small smile appeared on Lucy’s face as she texted back “See you soon :)” before tossing her phone on the bed and walking to her bathroom. Lucy spends a few minutes touching up her hair and makeup before changing into some jeans and grabbing a purse.
Just as she was about to leave she heard a loud click from her door. She turned the doorknob but it wouldn’t budge. “Damn it, Nolan!” Lucy yelled banging on the door. “Let me out! 
There was no response. Lucy sat down frustrated on her bed, she picked up a pillow and held it to her face muffling a loud scream, before throwing the pillow to the side of her landing by her window. Lucy quickly picked up her phone and texted Adam she might be a few minutes late. 
Lucy opened her window, pushed aside the screen, and climbed onto the roof. The sun was still setting as she made her way across the shingles, careful not to slip or make too much noise.
When she finally reached Adam’s dorm, he was waiting outside for her. He grinned when he saw her, pulling her into a tight embrace.
After a few hours of hanging out with Adam, Lucy snuck back into her house, trying to be as quiet as possible she tiptoed up the stairs and unlocked her door before slowly twisting the doorknob to her bedroom. As she pushed the door open, she heard the sound of her brother Nolan’s heavy footsteps behind her.
“Where the hell did you go Lucy?” Nolan demanded, his face contorted with anger 
Lucy absolutely exhausted lets out a yawn while shaking her head “Fuck off Nolan, I’m not fucking doing this with you right now” 
“Doing what owning up to your fucking actions! Ya that’s so tough for you Lucy” Nolan raises his voice 
Lucy turns around to face him “You want me to own up to my actions” Lucy starts in a low voice “Ok I just went out with Adam and I had a great fucking time I really fucking did and I truly don’t give one fuck what you have to say about it and I’m going to continue to talk to Adam”
Lucy walks into her room before slamming the door in her brother's face. 
A/N all images are from Pinterest
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trashlie · 11 months
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Manifesting Stalkyoo~
Just to get it out of the way: PLEASE KNOW THIS IS ALL IN GOOD FUN! I don’t want anyone to take this in a weird way or like it’s some ridiculous demand I’m making lmao. I’ve just been having a delightful time talking to other Stalkyoo shippers and just romanticizing silly things we want to see so again: THIS IS JUST FOR FUN! I know fandom has been weird about shipping stuff because of the... ugly past lol so I feel a weird need to remind people that my shipping is just secondary enjoyment of ILY and that I will continue to love and read ILY wherever it goes. 
With that out of the way lol please also note there are spoilers all the way up to 224, so if you don’t FP episodes, this post is not safe for you! (unless you like spoilers. i don’t judge people, I like spoilers, too) 
Look, I’m not good at writing fanfiction. I’d love to, but I always feel like it’s difficult for me to portray characters the way the original writer does. I think about it, every now and then, dabble in a little idea, something I might like to see, before the storyline plays out in a different way, but I just never trust myself, so this is about the closest I ever get to that. And even still, I think of these little musings, these silly little “oh I’d love to see ______” very inline with fanfiction, wherein I acknowledge that what I’m hoping for or imagining is very likely to not happen. It’s just the fun of exploring story and the what-if’s and little AU tangents where ONE little thing tweaks. 
For me, the fun of shipping is just playing with those character dynamics, which is another reason fic is so difficult for me - I enjoy my pairings, my characters, within their circumstances. That’s not to say AU fics are unfathomable to me (I LOVE THEM), but more so that it’s hard to write something knowing that I don’t know everything, that quimchee will pull out a surprise and I’ll be like oh my god I should have realized! And again, I guess that’s where musing is fun. You get to play out those little what if’s for yourself, get to imagine a scenario that probably will never come to pass. That’s the fun of fic + canon, to me! Not once has quimchee done something with her characters and their story that really surprised me in an “oh i don’t like this” kind of way. I can say “Oh I’d love to see xyz scenario play out” but when instead abc plays out, I’m not mad. 
I also fully admit that I tend to compartmentalize my shipping thoughts and whims separately from my general commentary, and I guess for the previously mentioned reasons: this fandom has an ugly, nasty past with shipping and even still, there are a lot of people who demand romance from ILY and don’t seem to care about the actual story at play or even weirder, seem to think that it detracts from the romance they think should be happening???? (”when is she going to choose one of the brothers it’s been so many years and episodes waaaah) And I guess, yeah, I get a little self-conscious, because (and this is feels so embarrassing to actually word) I acknowledge a lot of people read my commentary and my opinions! And I’m so happy for that, I love being so communal with everyone! But I do get worried someone is going to take something out of context and be like “omg can you believe she’s one of those weirdo romance demanders” or something lmao, hence this weird long useless diatribe. But yeah, basically, I’ve been talking with people lately and god just thinking about my shippy feels and how much I love the current story - one step forward, three steps back; the struggles to open up; the struggles to deal with feelings in the face of much heavier, scarier elements; etc. etc.
Sometimes you just wake up and you’re like: I WANNA SCREAM ABOUT STALKYOO so you do it because you have a birdbrain and you know is screaming afljkfkjafkjakfjaf LMAO 
If you’re reading this, chances are you aren’t new to my blog so you’ve probably read the likes of my Foundations of Stalkyoo, Why I Ship Stalkyoo, and Further Thoughts on Stalkyoo (I just never shut up huh) posts, so I’ll try not to like, completely repeat everything but if it happens well. It can’t helped, can it? lol 
Anyway something I’ve been talking and thus thinking a lot about is where we stand with Stalkyoo, now that we are getting more confirmation of actual budding feelings. I always reiterate that anything can change, but I also like to remind myself that something quimchee has said in the past (and this is loosely paraphrased) is that whenever it does come to a pairing, it will be made obvious before it gets there, because this is NOT a primarily romance-focused story which means there aren’t as many storylines that deal with just the will-they/won’t-they and the likes, and I think likewise, there won’t be a real love triangle the way most fans tend to think of them. So often a love triangle gets boiled down to someone being torn between two people for whatever reason and i just don’t get the sense we’ll be seeing that? Thus, I do feel like we might well be moving into a territory where we will see some kinds of scenes setting up, or maybe better put, enabling the possibility of a relationship between Shinae and Nol? 
But first. I always say I don’t really try to predict things because I’m always proven wrong, but I still like to try for fun lol, just because that’s part of the joy of reading an on-going story, I think! I’ve waffled a lot on it, but I still feel like when we reach our big time skip (not the first one taking us to graduation, but rather the one that jumps us a few years ahead), there has to be a REASON. Narratively it’s hard to imagine what that reason might be beyond the likelihood that we’ll see our three main characters on separate paths. It’s the only thing that makes sense, because otherwise you end up with a lot of story happening off page, right? If Shinae were to go to Japan with Kousuke, we’d end up missing their reconciliation and Kousuke earning her trust (or if it were to go the opposite, becoming cold acquaintances). Thus, I think Kousuke will go to Japan, but Shinae will take Rand’s advice begrudgingly and take up Yui on her “offer, while Nol will probably go to college abroad. He wasn’t denied admission to Oxford - it’s just not guaranteed there will be a spot for him. 
I know people take umbrage with the idea of Shinae taking up Yui’s offer, but hear me out. I don’t think it’s meant to turn Shinae into some kind of conniving, cunning person in the likes of Yui, as much as just introduce her to this world, give her a better understanding of how people in this society and business work and thus, start to get an idea of how Yui works. While I don’t think it’s easy to ever be one step ahead of Yui, I do think developing an understanding of her world helps to at least defend herself from Yui - start to see traps in advance and how to avoid them, find ways to evade her clutches, that kind of thing. I do think the idea of Yui holding that over Shinae’s head is terrifying and it’s feels more dangerous than going to Japan with Kousuke, BUT again, the idea is that she would become better equipped to defend herself and fight back. 
Of course, I don’t think Shinae in this moment is prepared to make that choice, and it may be a choice that comes after Yujing’s big scoop is revealed. Perhaps realizing how much more dangerous and powerful Yui (and the Kims) is would make her see what Rand was trying to tell her. I think she hasn’t fully figured out just what is going on with Yui and Rand, either - why would he be pushing her against his wife? But I think the information Yujing has compiled could help her see that bigger picture. If someone like Rand has spent twenty-five years struggling in this battle with her, how could Shinae ever hope to stand against her with even less understanding, with no sense of WHO Yui is or what makes her tick. 
The thing about this that I always struggle with is: how would Nol regard that? We know he feels vehemently about Alyssa idolizing Yui and taking advantage of her connection to the Hiraharas - and yet he stayed with her, knowing that she benefits from him (but that he does, as well). Would he feel the same, if he found out who was enabling Shinae to go to school? Would they talk about it, since Shinae knows how he feels about it? Would he be able to understand, when even he himself doesn’t seem to realize that his father finds himself trapped by the Hiraharas? That’s... stuff I can’t try to predict, because I think everything is possible. 
I promise I’ll get to that a little more.
The narrative benefit of separating the main characters is, of course, that first off, no major development happens where we can’t watch it. Sure, they’ll go about their lives and things will happen, but I don’t expect it to be major things that would make us go WAIT WHAT?! Otherwise, what brings us back itnto the story after time passes? For a long time my idea was that they’d all go their separate ways and maybe even their relationships would be a little damaged, so that when they come back into each others’ lives, part of the story is recovering that, reconciling with the past and maybe finding new futures together. 
Especially regarding Nol and Shinae, I’d wondered if we would see him leave without reconciling with his friends, and that we’d see him and Shinae meet again after some years and Shinae would have to contend with their unresolved past, with feelings she never had a chance to really identify, let alone explore, and the aching beauty of having to figure out who each other after now that they’ve grown and changed, and if there is room in each others’ lives for one another, if they fit in with who they’ve become. And don’t get me wrong - i do like that kind of bittersweet ache, haunted by the ghosts of what never came to be, having to relearn each other. But the more I’ve talked about this (especially a lot with @bittrbuttr, the more I realized that’s not exactly what I want with them. 
Like, it’s good and achey, it really pulls at your heartstrings. But I think that better suits an actual romance story, where the focus of the story and plot is on those feelings and untangling them, on finding their ways back to each other. I don’t think that’s the story of ILY, though. 
I keep dancing around my point and I apologize, but we all know I’m nothing if not circuitous and I promise we’ll get there! 
Here’s the thing: we know that Nol and Shinae are not in the space to become romantically involved. The feelings are there. They are drawn to each other, we know Nol finds comfort and peace in Shinae and that he always struggles to really push her away. We know that Shinae cares so deeply about him that no matter how much he hurts her, she still wants to try, she still wants to be there for him. I find the hope-tinged pain of 223 really poignant in that way - she wanted to SEE HIM, in a moment that was so special, she wanted to share that joy and get a glimpse at who he REALLY is, and he was unable to do that for her. But still she hopes for the best, still she intends to keep trying, to be as persistent as he was, even if she has to find a different approach. 
They are so important to each other, and I’m hoping that might be a catalyst? 
I understand what Nol’s struggle is. It isn’t easy to be vulnerable, to feel weak, especially when those parts of him have been used against him the last 6 years of his life. He is full of so much self-loathing and isn’t comfortable with his own weakness and vulnerability, thus he can’t show it to Shinae, he doesn’t want her to see him like that. He’d rather let her think he just doesn’t need to see what exists between them, that he doesn’t need to see her indulging because it’s enough to just bring her joy - and that itself hurts enough! But I want him to at least be honest about it - tell her that you don’t want her to see that part of you. Will it change things? Probably not significantly, but it puts her one step closer to understanding doesn’t it? 
And so the thinking is - or rather, the hope - is that maybe Nol will realize this? 
We see some of it in 224. Upon Dieter’s arrival, instead of a hey welcome back or anything, it’s an immediate “Did you bump into Yoo?” and when Dieter reassures him that she’s fine, it’s just stuffy, he knows a. it’s not fine and b. he feels bad. I think he felt that regret immediately, when he noted that she’s angry and he took off the blindfold and she wasn’t there. Nol is so used to pushing people away, it’s his first line of defense, but when it works? When he succeeds at driving that wedge? Again it’s that battle of will vs want - he thinks that pushing her away is the right thing to do for her sake, but he doesn’t ACTUALLY want it. 
It’s so difficult to go back to how things used to be having gotten a taste of something better. It’s so difficult to push out everyone when you’ve allowed yourself to indulge in being loved and cared about, and and I think that’s what Nol’s biggest hurdle is. 
Don’t get me wrong; there’s a lot of hurdles with him lol and clearing one doesn’t exactly make the others any easier to clear. But something we’ve seen from Shinae and that I think the story has tried to impress upon is that things are easier when we aren’t alone. Burdens shared are burdens that weigh a little less. We’ve Shinae and her father talking about being a team - about sharing that burden so it’s not so hard for just one of them and distributing that burden more easily. We’ve seen it in Shinae opening up about her problems with her friends, her insecurities that made her doubt her friendships. Her realization that as scary as situation as her sister breaking into her home was, it was made more bearable with a ragtag group of goofs who will protect her. 
Nol needs to learn to share that burden. He’s spent so long treating himself like an island, he hasn’t had the opportunity to remember that it’s easier to endure something when you aren’t exhausted from shouldering that burden all by yourself. There is strength in numbers. He’s been so run ragged from just trying to endure, trying to get by, trying to survive and how is he to ever fight back against Yui when he’s exhausted just from treading waters? 
I mean, ultimately Nol needs to learn to love himself, but I think it’s easier to tackle allowing others to love him, first. Allowing himself to share the burden, to show those weaknesses and let people have his back. Be able to slump over and know that someone will help keep you standing, you know? And maybe through that, he can find it in him to start loving himself. Of course, he has other problems he needs to address; in order to love himself, he has to forgive himself, and I hope that Yujing’s article can help in that area. I’m sure he carries the guilt of his mother’s alleged suicide, and maybe he was even made to believe that. It wouldn’t surprise me if the time he spent in the mental facility only served to make him feel worse about his existence, made  him believe he was the root cause of the bad. Maybe even, like Nana, he had an argument with his mother before he death and felt that if they hadn’t argued, maybe she would never have made that choice?
Clearly that’s still a little complicated for us to fully dig into, but as horrible as learning that maybe her death was not a choice she made is to learn (I cannot imagine having made this peace with someone I loved reaching a point so dark they made that choice, only to find out that it was, possibly, murder. How do you deal with that? What do you do with all that new grief, that new anguish?), I think maybe, if he learned that she didn’t choose that, it might help free him from his shackles of guilt. 
But I think until he can learn to forgive himself, until he can make that peace, couldn’t letting people love him help? Wouldn’t it be better for him to move forward knowing that he has people who will not only defend him, but who can ease the weight of his burdens? 
As dramatic as Nol and Shinae separating on these rocky grounds, unable to fully reconcile, makes for a good, dramatic romance, I think it’s much better for Nol to move on as a team. To let himself rely on others isn’t something he can learn over night, of course, but isn’t it better for him to enter a scary phase of his life knowing that there ARE people who he can talk to about it? There ARE people he can eventually let see those weak parts of him? 
So my ultimate hope for Nol’s extension is that in that time, he and Shinae find that peace after all. I still can’t help but feel like the three-day-extension is significant, because why else include it, if it was to pass without event? Especially because, depending on how it works (is it 3 additional days INCLUDING the 22nd or 3 days extra, beginning the 23rd?) we’ll hit the holidays. That just feels... too significant, right? 
I want Nol to grapple with his feelings, let his fear take over a little. Is he really as ready to lose Shinae as he tries to be? He seemed to regret hurting her, hanging his head after Dieter reassured him she was fine, even though she refuses to come back in to the room. And I can’t help but feel like it’s significant that she’s still lingering in the waiting room. My thinking is that Nana will get involved - she knows that Nol is upset about someone, she knows other friends have been watching over him, she knows there’s a friend who isn’t coming back in. She can read him well, so it’s not like it’s difficult to read that maybe they had a fight, that he was brusque and brushed her off the way he tries to do even to Nana. Will she go out there to see who this friend is? Will they talk? I feel like they HAVE to - not just because the fandom has waited for it, but because I think Nana can probably glean that Shinae (”Yoo” lol) must be someone important, if he’s acting like that. 
And look. Did Nana see the blush? *I* saw the blush, I’m not getting over that. I’m sorry but he lmao pushed her away, regretted hurting her, and he’s still getting flustered because he pictured her mouth. BUDDYYYYYYYYYYYY. YOU’RE A MESS. 
I don’t expect her to fully intervene in like, trying to make things happen way lmao I think it’s more like... Nana knows better than anyone that Nol is a difficult person to love. I say this with affection, because it’s true. He pushes people away, he deflects from himself, he never opens up, it’s hard to read what’s going on in his head. And Nana also knows of the darkness that looms. She was right there when he pleaded guilty, concerned about his reasoning. She’s listened to him talk about how maybe everything would be better if he didn’t exist. She knows that the darkness has a strong grip on him. So who better than her to encourage Shinae, to thank her for her patience and tenacity, for sticking with Nol even with the way he acts? I’d like to see a little bit of that comfort between them, some reassurance that Shinae is, in fact, making the right choice. She oscillates so wildly between her extreme emotions; sadness and melancholy that caring is not enough and how it sometimes comes out as anger when she can’t find a better way to channel it. We know she doesn’t really regret planning that birthday celebration - she’s just hurt. And I think it would be a big help to have Nana tell her how much it means to see Nol with friends who care about him despite how prickly and difficult he is, how she worries about him and is glad there are people who care about him. I think it would really encourage Shinae that her resolve is right - that she just has to find another way to approach him, that it’s worth the effort. 
And at that same time, yes, I want Nol’s fear to kick his ass. I want him to realize he faces the very real reality of losing someone who cares so much about him, who is willing to put up with him because of how much she cares and how special she is to him - and that she wants him to see it, too. I want him to fear losing the comfort and peace she brings him. I want him to have to finally face head on his want vs what he thinks he deserves, and see what a future without someone like her is like. Can he bear to return to that kind of loneliness? Can he bear losing her concern? How it feels for her to take notice of him, to probe, to listen? 
Like, at the risk of getting really corny and dramatic, that’s what it comes down to. I don’t want Nol to come back in a few years and decide he’s ready to face all of that. I want him to move on from this point knowing he’s not alone. I want him to be able to face prison knowing that he’s not so alone, that there is someone who will always be there to support him. I think that’s what makes the most sense. Leaving on their current circumstances works great if it’s a romance and that’s the main story - but making up, talking, being honest? That makes more sense for THIS story, where Nol starts to grow NOW, where he starts to make those important steps that will help him find his way to healing, and more important, that will help him face the forces that taunt and haunt him.
He doesn’t have to be completely honest with Shinae, because I don’t think he’s ready. I don’t think he’ll tell her that his mother took her life, and that he believes it’s his fault. But I think it would be enough to tell her the truth he couldn’t stay to her face - that he doesn’t want her to see him like that, that it’s still hard for him to open up that way, that it’s still SCARY - but that he doesn’t want to push her away, that he’s sorry he keeps hurting her. We could even go more dramatic with a callback to the hospital scene - that he’s sorry he isn’t good enough and is undeserving of her (AND LET HER REASSURE HIM THAT’S NOT TRUE THAT HE IS). BUT JUST. IDK I WANT HIM TO FACE IT. ADMIT IT.
He doesn’t have to tell her he likes her. That’s fine. Just reiterate what she means to him! One moment he’s telling her she’s special to him, that he cares about her, next moment he’s telling her it’s okay he doesn’t have to look he’s fine like this. STOP JERKING HER AROUND ;~; lmao like don’t get me wrong. I GET IT. I UNDERSTAND HIM!!!!!!!!!!!
But I also want to see them move into our time skips with a sense of understanding and peace, you know? I don’t want want Nol to face his fears alone anymore. I want him to let someone stand by his side. I want him to accept how good it feels to rest on her shoulder and know that it’s okay, she’s there.
I HAVE FEELINGS OKAY I JUST. I WANT THEM TO BE ABLE TO FIND T HAT STRENGTH IN EACH OTHER, TO BE STRONGER TOGETHER. 
And to call back to my earlier point lmao I like to think if they get to that point, then maybe he would understand, if Shinae accepts Yui’s offer. Maybe he would see how it’s different from Alyssa, that Shinae made a choice to protect herself, that it’s not about the idolatry, it’s not a self-serving choice, but one that protects her and enables her to fight back. Knowing that they are on the same side, that Shinae isn’t a doe-eyed naïve girl about to be taken advantage of again, but one who wants to fight back against the people who hurt her and others like her. 
We’re about halfway to 3/5 of the way into this story, and I think that’s a good point for Shinae and Nol to join forces. 
AndlookthisiscompletelydaydreamingbutiftherewasaChristmaskissIwouldcertainlynotobject
PLEASE I JUUUUUUUUUST i want to see them on the same page, I want to see them moving forward TOGETHER. I don’t want Nol to keep walking on his own. I don’t want him to just accept Shinae at his side, either; I want him to CHOOSE to let her choose his side. ;A; 
GOD. PLS. BARKS AT THE MOON I’m just ready for them to bE A TEAM I’M READY FOR NOL TO BE SELFISH AND TO GO AFTER WHAT HE WANTS I WANT HIM TO CHOOSE COMFORT AND SECURITY OVER PUNISHMENT I WANT HIM TO REALIZE THERE IS STRENGTH IN COMPANIONSHIP. I know being close to him puts her at risk - but he needs to see that no matter what, she’s at risk, and isn’t it better if she’s in danger with someone who can help, than to be all alone with it? I WANT HIM TO FACE THAT FEAR OF HIS AND FIND THAT MAYBE HIS DESIRE, HIS WANT, HIS NEEDS ARE EVEN BIGGER. That it’s better to find peace with her than spend the whole time afraid. Isn’t that the thing? He’s always afraid - afraid of someone else getting hurt, afraid of another opportunity being stolen away, afraid of the next time Yui will find a way to hurt him. BUT TO BE ABLE TO FIND COMFORT WITH SHINAE? 
Please. Just open up - be honest!!!!!!! But most importantly APOLOGIZE. Apologize for hurting her, apologize for pushing her away.
I realize, based on what she said on the hospital roof, that maybe he won’t make that choice, that maybe her persistence has to be a long game, that she does have to wait for him to forget to put the mask back on.
But wouldn’t it be so nice if he chose to move forward with her, instead of alone, to face their nightmare and battles together? ;~; 
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hootball · 7 months
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NOLAN ARENADO [20230319] CUB @ USA
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❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥
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vonlipvig · 2 months
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i just woke up from a dream where i was rereading this one book that i truly loved, i think i was finishing the first chapter, still meeting all the main characters, and it was like coming home, yknow?
and now that i'm awake i don't think the book exists and i can't help but feel a deep sense of loss.
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imperatorrrrr · 3 months
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Nico Nolan but like a moving on fic (as Nolan unfollowed Nico on ig)
Nolan is about to soft launch his retirement or maybe its hard launch his retirement.
All he knows is that in a couple of days the hockey coaching and mentorship organization he's now working for, working with as a Skills Specialist is going to launch and the world is going to know he's a "retired pro".
He feels a little restless about it. He's putting a demonstrative end to his National Hockey League career. Closing not only that chapter, but basically shutting the book with a heavy lock and key, and tossing the book and the key into the ocean.
He needs to do something about it, but he doesn't know what. Some sort of ceremonial end. Maybe some pomp and circumstance. Something. Maybe he should grab a beer or something.
He settles for opening up Instagram for lack of anything better to do and the first thing he sees is Nico Hischier's stupid, perfect, face, standing there.
It's a fucking watch ad. Of course its a fucking watch ad.
Nolan's this close to chucking his phone away, but he stops himself, so maybe its not some big, official thing, but its symbolic as fuck.
He clicks through to Nico's profile, gives one final scroll through, stops at the picture of them at the 2017 Stanley Cup game, opens it up.
Sees himself. Sees himself when it was all about to begin. When anything could have happened. When the world was in front of him. Everything at his fingertips. And sees Nico standing next to him.
He zooms in on himself and Nico. Nico and Nolan. Nolan and Nico.
He catches himself staring, fondly, and clicks out of the picture, back to Nico's profile.
He scrolls back up to the top.
And sees this Nico. Nico Hischier, Captain of the New Jersey Devils. Nico Hischier, Frank J. Selke Trophy Finalist.
This isn't his Nico anymore. This hasn't been his Nico for a while now.
And he isn't that Nolan anymore. There's a whole new world in front of him and there's something different at his fingertips now.
He clicks "Following" and sees the "Unfollow" selection at he bottom of the screen.
He closes his eyes and sees Nico from the draft, baby faced, smiling wide at him, eyes crinkling, and this Nico of the past says "Do it, Patty."
And Nolan does it.
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