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#nobody would have a clue at fucking all
prisonpodcast · 4 months
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Twitter just sucks
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theofficialkai517 · 8 months
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What I really wouldn't give just to become a freaking hermit. Cut off everybody, cut out most if not all of my online presence (would probably end up keeping Tumblr tho), get a remote job that I can do using my laptop... I'm just tired of feeling like I can't "people."
#like yes! i grew up with adhd. my parents' first clues were my anger issues and my poor social skills.#and my poor social skills are the reason i've been in therapy for 16+ years since being diagnosed adhd.#hell. i was even put in a social skills group in 6th grade.#i have spent my whole fucking life trying to perfect my social skills so that i don't get ostracized (i always am tho).#always put up a fucking mask so nobody could see the messed-up little girl who wasn't like the others.#it's only just now hitting me that my parents kept me in therapy just so i could figure out how to navigate a social life.#but it's only ever taught me how to blend because nobody wants to socialize with a weird girl like me.#and now 16 years later my mom just implied that my social skills could still use some work... she did it TWICE today.#i have worked my ass off for pretty much my whole fucking life. i have been traumatized by the system because it strips me bare.#i am no longer ME i am literally a clone of everyone i've ever met or ever seen on screen or on stage.#i have spent all but 5 years of my life being broken down and rebuilt only to have it said that i still could use some work.#my mom was shy growing up but apparently heck if she didn't always have social skills of her own.#clearly she's never been anything like me or realized just how traumatic that part of my life has been in hindsight.#and it just... it upsets me.#i know not everyone can understand me. or even understand the tiniest bit of me.#but i thought she would at least understand that tiny bit.
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serethereal · 1 year
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there is a huge moth outside my room and i swear to god i can hear its massive wings beating outside my door. i am afraid
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random-chaos-thoughts · 9 months
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#venting ahead please ignore this#i had the wierdest most awkward interaction ever with a coworker yesterday#we were having a Normal ConversationTM (the weather the peince of rent whatever) nobody else in the office#important context he is married and old wnough to be my father#And I always call him Sir and use formal you with him#Otherwise we have the kind of relationship two good collegues who appreciate each other's company have#so we were making small talk when out of the blue he took my hand#The atmosphere changed radically like I am bad at reading rooms but Something Was Happening and I had no clue what#and he starting saying he 'really appreciated me'#I am not comfortable with physical touch but I really like him so I said 'me too sir' and searched for a polite way to withdraw my hand#that's when he kissed my knuckles#3 times#As that happened I froze and stared while my brain bounced around trying to understand what the fuck was happening#I was growing very uncomfortable but my natural stress response is freeze so I was stuck face blank which he must have taken for approval#he let go of my hand and went for something that looked like a hug?#but he was sat i was standing and I already had trouble reading his intention#I made a step backward. he stopped#he started apologizing profusely and asking if he screwed up#since I'm an idiot whose ben raised to put other's comfort before my own at all time I said no it was ok as long as it did not happen again#he promised it wouldn't and said he had some task to do so he would be going now#he still lingered for the longest 5 minutes of my life where i put all my will power into acting normal while not looking him in the face#what was he trying to achieve? if it was romantic there's a 25+ year gap and he has a wife so he should not even have entertained the idea#and even if he had was my discomfort not blatant enough?#thankfully I am changing office this summer but the next two months are going to be tensed#why in all the hells do i always end up in stupid awkward situations like this instead of normal awkward situations???
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jovalencia · 1 year
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not to be dramatic but I literally feel like I’m going insane lol
#first of all I must acknowledge the percy of it all. I don’t know how many of you are reading those posts and honestly I’m not conveying#how I feel very well but I’m so deadly serious when I say I feel sick when I think about those books and not even in a bad way necessarily#just nauseous whatever. second most pressing issue is the whole “am I going to drop out transfer suck it up or kill myself”#okay I’m really not considering that last one I have to live to see dani in july but I haven’t the slightest clue what I’m gonna do next#year. on one hand I hope this school explodes on the other transferring sounds so unfun but back to the first hand I hate this city#and I hope it explodes to and I have nobody I know to live with off campus next year and tbh I would rather die than live w sarah suitemate#which brings us to sarah suitemate. how in the hell is my only friend in this god forsaken city like kind of subtly homophobic#In addition to kind of being a bad fucking person. like lol! yes ladies six months deep with no other friends and I Am that desperate#also it’s the very beginning of the quarter and I kind of hate all my classes. okay I know they just started and it’s very early to judge#but I already feel like I’m going crazy I preferred my other two quarters where I was eating literally 12 credits I was satisfied with that#I’m just scared and lonely can I say that outright is it embarrassing to admit that outright at 11am on tumblr#the only thing that gives me comfort genuinely is just repeating that “everything works out in the end” saying bc I really do believe that#even though I hope my closest friend within a reasonable radius of me drops dead and I’m directionless and I want to kill myself#whenever I think about the book I’m reading it will all be okay#anyways time to eat the pastry I got from the campus market is not a good time to tell you guys I didn’t eat breakfast or could you tell#carmen.txt
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considering the manor is completely massive and the only person who spends more than a few consecutive hours there at a time is probably Alfred, i think it would be funny if after the pit, Jason decides after everything he's been through that he can't be bothered to do the whole revenge thing, or sort out safe houses or get an apartment and instead just decides to kill the joker himself and just... secretly go home.
like, as long as he kept an ear out to make sure he wasn't eating in the dining room when Bruce comes down, he could probably get away with walking around without ever being caught. Alfred would find out, i assume, but i think knowing how complicated Jasons emotions towards Bruce are right now, he'd keep it quiet and just be happy that the one other person he trusts to leave alone in the kitchen is finally back. And then, of course, there's the kids.
Damian knew from the beginning. Not because he's especially observant, but because this is his big brother from the league and the first night he spent at the manor Jason crawled through his window in full Red Hood gear and told him not to snitch. Considering that in the league Jason once snuck up behind Ra's and shaved a strip of hair off the back of his head, Damian decides there's far stupider shit the guy could be doing and leaves it be.
Tim finds out next. admittedly, the only reason he finds out is because Jason thought he knew and just stopped attempting to avoid him. in reality, what happened was Tim, having not slept for three days and living off nothing but spite and coffee, accidentally walked in on Jason cooking in the middle of the night, and immediately wrote it off as a hallucination. Jason, seeing Tim find him in the manor and not react badly, decided that 'oh, the replacement must just be chill i guess' and mentally pencilled him in as another person in the building that he can be seen by. it came to a head when a few days later Damian was forced by Jason to invite Tim out with them on their weekly 'eat junk food and talk shit about the rest of the family' outings, since he was a part of the group now. Tim cries.
Dick only finds out because Tim and Damian keep forgetting that Jason isn't supposed to be talked about in public. there comes a point where Tim rips Dick's favourite sweater and when Dick confronts him about it, Tim panics and blurts out 'it wasn't me, must have been jason!', and upon seeing Dick's face, Damian smacks him and grumbles 'good job Drake, now we have to show him Todd or he'll cry again.'. Jason is not overly happy when he sneaks through his bedroom window after going out as Red Hood and finds a sobbing Dick sat on his bed, Tim staring at the ground looking very ashamed while Damian straight face points at Tim to make it clear that this was Not His Fault.
after realising literally everyone in the house sans Bruce knows he's there, Jason decides to just. stop hiding. the fact is that he wasn't trying that hard in the first place, and Bruce still didn't have a clue, so he kinda wants to see how long it takes the 'world's greatest detective' to realise his dead kid is just. back.
so he stops hiding. starts showing up for family meals, starts being more friendly with the bats as Red Hood, and they all wait to see what finally tips Bruce off.
they forget how fucking stupid this man can be.
because if Jason had gone up to Bruce and done some sort of dramatic or emotional reveal then sure, Bruce would be shocked. he'd freak out. but the fact is that Bruce has both Batman and Brucie Wayne to keep up with. He's barely paying attention to his own feet while walking, let alone the people around him.
so when Jason starts showing up and acting like nothings changed, and literally nobody else in the house acts like anything's different either? Bruce straight up forgets that Jason's supposed to be dead. His mind just registers 'oh there are his kids, fighting like usual', and forgets to take in whether or not those kids are SUPPOSED to be ALIVE.
the kids find it fucking fascinating. Jason can actually have conversations with Bruce at the dinner table, and Bruce doesn't even realise that this is a wild fucking thing to be happening. Tim starts laughing at him and Bruce gets confused, only making the poor kid laugh harder. Jason just can't believe he actually bothered putting effort into hiding when he first came back. Damian's respect for his father diminishes every day.
it becomes a game, to see how far it will go. at one point Dick straight up asks who was better as Robin, him or Jason, in an attempt to jog his memory, and Bruce without looking up from the batcomputer goes 'you were both equally good, stop trying to start competitions with your brother'. Dick throws his hands up in the air and Jason, who has been sat on top of his own fucking memorial case to watch this shit show for the past 20 minutes, slow claps.
it's only after like a month of this that half way through a casual family breakfast, Damian asks Jason to pass him the orange juice or something, and Bruce finally has the fucking moment of
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he never lives it down.
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raulfernandez · 11 months
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Yesterday my mum told a friend of hers about my car crash and it was so weird like I didn't mind or anything and I've not had a single problem with driving at all. But for some reason, just hearing somebody talk about it in detail was so bad like I was in the room with them, and when she was finished with the story, my hands were shaking SO bad....
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c0kitty · 2 months
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NOW PLAYING ... NOBODY KNOWS ft. spider-women!ellie x reader
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“…BUT NOBODY KNOWS MY LITTLE SECRET.”
(⭑) summary: r/reddit, when’s the best time to tell your girlfriend of three months, (who you are so desperately in love with) you are that "crazy" vigilante on the news, fighting crime in a spider-suit, and that you now shoot fucking webs out of your wrist. (⭑) content: wc 1.2k+ nerd!ellie. confessions. making out. comfort. spider-man!ellie. established relationship. suggestive. insecure!ellie. HEAVILY inspired from the roof-top scene in tasm bcs im obsessed. cursing.
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you guys find yourself on the roof-top of dina’s-friend’s apartment, for a random party, celebrating god-knows what. it's slightly chilly, you stand next to ellie with her oversized jacket on you; despite ellie telling you numerous times it was going to be cold, she was not one to refuse you.
ellie wished she had her camera right now; outside’s a pretty scene with the many buildings scattered, the sky, gradually transitioning into yellow and pink hues, night unfolding, and you, looked so pretty by her side. 
the city below though remains bustling with constant movement, and ellie's mind is no different. because today was going to be the day —
ellie’s hazel-green eyes shift towards you, observing your soft expression, her heart ached with uncertainty as she wondered if you would hate her — hate her for lying, hate her for not being normal, hate her for having so much baggage. hate her for being spider-women. 
“you think dina and jesse are shagging?” you ask, randomly, breaking the comfortable silence. your hands moves to the railing, casually pushing yourself backwards on it.
“saw dina sneakin’ out at 1 am, like she was a teenager. so, yeah, definitely.” 
also due to ellie’s super-senses, she had heard so many “private,” conversations with him and dina she wished to unhear.
you nod your head, turning your attention towards ellie. “so, why do you seem so te—”
“i need to say something,” 
you guys both interrupt each other, it elicits a small giggle from you. “okay... is this about before? is that the reason you’ve been so pissy tonight?” 
you were hinting about earlier. when someone had hit on you, even with you being on ellie's lap, her arms even wrapped at your waist. it irritated the hell out of ellie, leaving her to characteristically run her mouth at em'. 
you almost had to drag her away to stop the growing commotion.
ellie sports a slight pout at her pink-lips. “it’s not my fault men can’t get fucking context clues, it’s a wonder they survive. and i haven’t been “pissy” i—” you raise your eyebrows in response, conveying a silent ‘you sure?’ ellie stops talking, only rolling her eyes.
“okay, whatever, maybe i was but, it's not about that,” ellie wasn’t sure how to start this conversation without sounding crazy or scaring you.
“...i was bitten,” ellie says, bushy brows slightly furrowing.
your head tilts, “that’s a little ominous.” ellie rethinks; maybe that wasn’t a good way to start.
“nevermind. you know, when i was sick. that whole two weeks, couple months back.” you nod your head, “yeah, you said you were sick. projectile vomit and shit. couldn’t lift a finger because it was so bad.” damn, ellie forgot she said all that.
“yeah, um sorry. i lied about that.” before you could say anything, lips pulled into a frown, ellie blurts: “i’m spider-man,” finally with a breath. you’re staring at her, but she can’t decipher your expression. unconsciously, ellie bites at her bottom lip.
silence fills the moment, and ellie finds it unbearable; suddenly, in just a second, your face relaxes. “oh, wait. you’re fucking with me. els thought you were serious for a second.”
ellie was regretting playing pranks on you so much, “i’m not fucking with you,” ellie’s arm cross, unconsciously flexing in the process, but you only a grow smile on your lips, like this was some ongoing joke. “jesus, stop smiling — it’s not a joke y/n,”
“i’ve known you all my life ellie — i think i would know if you were fighting crimes with iron-man,” you ignore her, releasing the bar. “wait just w—”
“lets go els, please. it’s getting cold and i’m tired,” you say, making your move toward the door; but in a quick reaction, ellie’s translucent webs shoots out her wrist, spinning you around til’ you're close, her hands, now holding at your waist.
you’re staring at her, eyes widened comically, and your mouth parted, seemingly trying to process what just happened. ellie's attention was drawn to something else though; light in the distance, drunken footsteps heading their way. 
“you just fucking — shot webs out your hands, ellie! you’re sp—” 
ellie didn’t have much time to think it through, because as soon as the drunkards stumble in, ellie's lips, soft and sweet, press into yours.  “..shh,” ellie whispers, faint to your lips — trying to calm you down.
a small gasp leaves your mouth. but after a second, hearing the commotion behind you; you get the message, relaxing yourself into the kiss.
ellie's kisses are usually greedy, but tender, her hands would rummage your body confidently, possessively pulling you in. but this kiss, its … different. it’s tentative, hesitant, like she was afraid to push.
at that, you try to make her feel comfortable with a subtle touch beneath her loose black-shirt. your lips, coated in strawberry gloss, glides seamlessly over hers, giving her a little push; and it works.
ellie tongue pushes in hastily, its smooth tracing from your lips to your tongue. her moppy-brown hair tickling your chin as she eases in the kiss, embracing the subtle buzzing in her chest. 
you hear the people leave, and it’s silent now, besides the busy cars. “ellie… t–” 
“one more second,” she grumbles, you wanted to keep going, but you still had a lot to say — questions cycling. so you pull away, with a gentle smack of the lips.
she lets out a small groan in response; her cheeks dusted in pink and round eyes flutter open, looking at you in a wistful gaze.
“so… you’re spider-man. well, spider-woman,” you finally say, exhaling. ellie’s eyes shift to the floor. her hands drop from you, and instead, runs through her hair anxiously. “yeah. i know it’s fucked up, and weird. i should’ve told you, warned you, but i—”
you interrupt her depressive rambles, “no, ellie i mean it’s cool, you’re cool. it’s just, fuck.” you take a breath, throwing your hands up. “i was just surprised because you’re, like, nerdy and cute, and then … spiderman, you know?”
ellie’s eyes lifted to meet yours, “relieved” couldn’t fully capture how she felt, but all she could managed to say was: “oh, okay. that’s great, yeah.”
a silence falls between you two in response to ellie’s awkwardness, exchanging glances; both of you burst into a fit of giggles.
“i feel like i should feel offended though, ‘nerdy?’” you playfully nudge at her feet, “you know what i mean. passionate about space, introverted, so obsessed with your grades. it’s like a text-book definition,” ellie couldn’t really deny that, so she just playful rolls her eyes instead.
“...but you know what’s crazy, i had a small tiny crush on spider–man, well you, before we officially dated.” 
ellie’s lips curve into a smile, “so now you get the best of both worlds, huh.” ellie comes closer to you, hands finding their place to your body. "i bet you dreamed of both of us fighting over you, hm?”  
in the quietness that follows, your eyes drift away from ellie, intentionally avoiding her gaze. ellie could tell there was more story to your silence, “wait — did you have a wet dream about spider-man and m—” she begins, but you swiftly cover her mouth.
“...shut it,” you say beyond flustered, which only intensifies ellie's curiosity.
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cesium-sheep · 2 years
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honestly very rude of her to exploit my dogged desire to discover secrets to bring me back for a moment, intentional or not (I’m joking, although it is actually working)
#she only gave me three clues which is very rude!!!#1 they were discussing it#2 it has to do with the future#3 it is something worth informing me of as a unit (presumably because it is good news)#obviously nobody's engaged or pgrenant#given that you can only legally have one spouse and I'm the only one with a uterus#oh fuck I got sidetracked looking up pregananant and it turns out there's a longer version of previously on a drama#anyway that's such an unfairly small number of clues!!!#I can't think of anything that has to do with the future that would be news!!!#I know he wants to buy out his brother's share of the house and move us all in in theory!!!#and I know she wants to get into uw's psych program so we can go home!!!#what could it beeeeeeee#I suppose it could be that he trusts us enough to move with us next time even if we don't go home?#that would be very nice but it is important to temper my expectations cuz that's awful big#and it would probably take more discussion than that#what's a smaller hypothesis that's still reasonable then?#I don't think he'd actually miss christmas with all his family and friends to come visit us#especially since time is fake anyway and it still counts just as much if it's a couple weeks before or after#that's also not really very 'future'#can't be anything to do with work cuz I just talked to him about that a week ago#at least not directly#if it had anything to do with my care he would've just talked to me directly so it's not that he found a resource or something#it could be that his brother is willing to cut him a very friendly deal on the house?#that doesn't feel likely to be correct but it does feel like a more reasonable scale of hypothesis#cuz if you guess too big you make everyone sad.#maybe the neighbors agreed to the sheep fence?#but again why would he be discussing that with her?#it's being treated like an announcement more than a question#so it's presumably something I'm already implicitly on board with#oh shit maybe they're considering a vacation together? that still doesn't feel future enough but it's good scale.
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sytoran · 10 months
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𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐃𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐒 | 𝐠𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐬!𝐧𝐚𝐭 𝐩𝐭.𝟏
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you, a regular law-abiding citizen, saved the gods by accident. now, the goddess of lust, natasha, is going to grant you a wish. you could've had just about anything, but looking at the ethereal being before you, there's only one thing on your mind.
pairing: goddess!natasha x dom!fem!reader (G!P)
note: hello, folks! this is the long-awaited goddess!nat fic for the milestone event! i am quite proud of this fic, ngl... got a bit too carried away with some parts ;)
word count: 2.5k
the milestone event | main m.list | join the taglist | AO3
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When you jumped in front of a speeding car to save a cat on the road, you had absolutely no clue that the cat was not, in fact, a cat.
This not-cat was a species of flerken, and it’s name was Goose. Flerkens were extremely dangerous alien creatures. At least, that’s what the Goddess of Galaxies, Carol Danvers, told you.
Trust me, meeting an intergalactic space goddess with a pet killing-machine (that looked awfully like a cat) was about as chaotic and unbelievable as you would imagine it to be.
“H-holy fuck!” you yelled, jumping in your seat, as a glowing woman materialised before your very eyes, in your shithole of an office. 
“I do not believe I am holy, even though I am a Goddess.” The woman stated, watching with curious eyes as you tittered over your split coffee. Lifting your laptop and muttering curses, then sifting through the messed up paperwork.
“You’re a what?” You asked distractedly, still panicking over the mess that is your desk. “My boss is actually going to murder me. Or maybe I’ll murder myself first. I am literally- Yeah, okay, how the fuck did you appear like that? And aren’t gods supposed to be like, really huge? You look kinda…… human.”
“I am a goddess.” Carol reiterated with slight annoyance. A literal extraterrestrial being was in front of your eyes, and the only thing you cared about was your damn coffee? 
“We are beings you could only ever fathom from the depths of your imagination, powerful beyond measure. Which is also why we can shapeshift to look like regular human beings, so we won’t scare the shit outta you. Which seems to have still happened.”
You let out a dry bark of laughter. Carol wasn’t sure if you thought she was funny or you were about to burst into tears.
“So, why did you decide to visit me, ever-powerful, omnipresent, all-mighty being?” You asked, half-sarcastically, half simply given up on life itself. The report you had been working on for nearly an hour had been ruined by the fiasco earlier. 
You dropped into your chair, kicking your feet up onto your desk. Loosening your black tie with a weary sigh, you looked at the Goddess’ eyes and continued. “I’m a nobody. I’m an overworked and underpaid attorney. I run on caffeine. I don’t know why or how you’re here, but I really–”
“You saved us. The Gods and Goddesses.” Carol interrupts, firm and unyielding. “We owe you, alright? You get one wish.”
“One wish, to get whatever it is you desire. Anything. Anything at all.”
Your story was absolutely one of zero to hero. From an ‘underpaid and overworked attorney’, to having the fucking gods of the multiverse indebted to you, it seemed like a rather unorthodox situation.
“So… what do you want?” Carol had asked you. 
“Uhm, I don’t need anything,” you mumbled, fiddling with your loosened tie. “Like, it’s totally chill between us even if I saved your cat.”
Great. Real cool, Y/N. The middle school boys could never compare to your level of failed attempts at being cool.
“Goose is not a cat, alright?” Carol commented, offended. You mutter an apology. 
“So, what do you want?” she continued impatiently. “Humans thrive off greed. You mortals always want something. What is it, money? A fancy car? A boyfr– okay, not to be stereotypical, but you’re definitely not straight. So, women on your mind?”
You splutter at her outright but nevertheless true allegation. Carol gives you this blank stare that makes you feel stupid. 
“Well, I guess, as a woman, there’s something I do want,” you speak up after a while. Carol raises her eyebrows in interest. “Something I have wanted to try, you know.”
Leaning closer to whisper your deepest desire in the goddess’ ear, Carol’s eyebrows disappear into her hairline. Her impressed, intrigued, embarrassed, and taken aback emotions all morphed into one expression, almost steals a laugh from your lips.
“You want me to grant you a cock.”
The Goddess of Lust sits in her throne, a picturesque image of perfection, the statement falling from her lips with such ease. There’s a lilt to her voice you can’t decipher. You just nod, looking unfalteringly at the goddess, as if it was the most normal request in the world. 
The Goddess was slightly perturbed by your lack of, well, awe. There you were, standing in her grand palace, unfazed by the multi-million dollar chandeliers and gold-framed pictures, unfazed by her.
Natasha was just about the most exquisite sight people would kill to lay their eyes upon. Soft curls framed her delicately sculpted face like curtains to a stage, magnificent deep eyes and a more than well-endowed body to complement her pretty face. Her rose-gold dress of satins and sequins dripped with money. There was the thrall she exuded, of seduction so strong that had men and women falling to their knees.
Natasha was the Goddess of Lust for sakes, and the only thing you cared about was redeeming your wish?
She would’ve been annoyed, if not for how unfairly charming you were, standing with your hands in your pockets, a charming gentlemanly smile on your face.
“What kind of cock do you want?” Natasha resorts to ask, a playful smirk on her features. “I’ve seen some interesting ones over the years, intergalactic sex is far crazier than you would imagine. Ooh, do you want tentacles to-”
“Uh, no thanks.” You say hurriedly, a hand going out of your pocket to rub at your nose. It’s the first sign of discomfort or embarrassment Natasha’s seen from you. She grins. 
“Just a regular human one?” She clarifies, pouting at you slightly. 
“That’d be great, yeah.” You respond, back to smiling brightly. Natasha frowns. She knows that there’s something under that stupid gentlemanly facade you’re putting on. She’s craving to get a taste of it.
“What size?” The Goddess asks bluntly, like a Starbucks barista asking for your order on a Monday morning.
“A regular size would be fine, I suppose.” You respond in kind, nodding to yourself assuredly. Natasha winks at you. “Ah, a regular size, I see.”
Before you can decipher that cryptic response, the Goddess stands up, a pillar of superiority and authority. She snaps her fingers, and you’re being pushed back into a fancy chair. Where did the chair come from, anyway?
You forgo the answer to that question as the Goddess begins what you would assume to be the procedure. “Sit tight.”
A surge of pain presses against your crotch area, and you almost keel forward in shock, but the pain goes as quickly as it comes. 
“Wait….. that’s it?” You ask, almost disbelievingly. Natasha nods proudly.
You look down, hands resting on your belt buckle. 
You look up at the Goddess, and she only smirks. 
You pull down your pants in swift fashion, letting out a quiet ‘whoa’ at the bulge in your boxers. It definitely feels bigger than would be regular, but then again you don’t have much knowledge of a man’s cock per se.
“Thank you,” You say, pleased with the results. Trying something new in the bedroom would definitely bring more life to your desolate days.
All too quick for the Goddess’ liking, you’re putting your clothes back on and getting ready to leave. “Thanks for your help,” You say calmly, turning to walk down the long passageway.
God, you just wanted to watch her fall apart.
As you walk, you feel Natasha’ eyes burning holes through your back. Oh, the tension was palpable, building with each step you took. It was getting harder to walk, with Natasha’s thrall like a heavyweight on your shoulders, willing you not to leave.
As you stand before the tall doors, you come to a standstill. Natasha waits in her throne with bated breath, so many words fighting to fall from the tip of her stubborn lips.
Your hand pushes down on the door handle, and that’s the last thing you can do before Natasha snaps her fingers again, and the tension is broken like a snapped coil. Suddenly, you’re pressed against her, looking into her dilated pupils.
“You’re so annoying, you know? I’ve been so fucking horny, looking at you this whole time, and you were about to get up leave?” Natasha asks, her tongue coming out to dart at her pink lips. Her hands have grasped your forearms, but your hands are cinched around her waist, disabling movement.
“No,” you breathe, head moving down to trail open-mouthed kisses along the column of her poised neck. “I was waiting for you.” The Goddess throws her head back under your fleeting touch. 
“Fuckin’ tease,” she mumbles, and you smirk against her skin. You’re rough with her, too, knowing that she isn’t made of glass, sucking purple marks into the pale skin of her neck, shoving your knee between her legs to spread them wider.
“Too much clothes,” Natasha breathes, and then with a burst of magic you’re stripped bare of any article of clothing. Her hands fly to your cock instantaneously, wrapping her delicate fingers around your semi-hard member.
You grunt against her skin, struggling to find a better position to properly have her. Since she’s sitting in the throne and you’re bent over above her, you can barely have her the way you want. Due to your lack of magical power, you resort to doing things the hard way.
Your hands slide under Goddess’ dress, going under her thighs, and then manhandling her up. Natasha’s whines of disapproval turn on deaf ears as you sit yourself in the grand chair, plopping her onto your lap. You don’t miss the way her thighs are already slightly damp.
“Need you inside now, fuck,” Natasha growls into your skin, climbing onto your cock as your hands squeeze at her thighs. You proceed to rip the fabric off her skin, deciding that there’s too much clothing restricting you from getting your hands on her.
And boy, was that a sight you’d never forget. 
“Oh!” The Goddess cries, when you lean forward to wrap your lips around her hardened bud. Your hands don’t rest for a moment, squeezing everywhere – hips, thighs, breasts, ass — whatever you can get your hands on. She’s fucking exquisite.
The stimulation seems to work wonders for Natasha’s pleasure, as she engulfs your cock in her warmth with fervour.
You gasp lowly, a throaty sound escaping your lips. Her hips and ass go up and down, working her cunt around the girth of your cock, wet and warm and slick. You can barely keep up with how desperate she is, and the fact that you have this wonder of a woman falling apart at your hands makes your heart soar.
Matching the rhythm of short upward thrusts with Natasha’s riding makes her moan out loud, a pretty melodious sound that imprints itself into your brain all at once. You wanna hear it a hundreds of times more.
Natasha gets more messy with her riding, as you suck hickeys, light ones and fierce ones, into her collarbone and her neck and breasts. You can’t resist the urge to slap her on the ass as she rides you like it’s the last day she’d be on this universe.
“Ah!” The Goddess moans, and you grip her thighs and push her down hilt deep, and her eyes roll into the back of her head. You feel her cum around your cock, so needy and desperate and mindless, and that triggers your own climax. 
Natasha hadn’t even begun to open her eyes again before she ends up on the floor and you hovering above her, your hands fervently spreading her cunt open. You duck your head down, licking a long stripe up her puffy clit. 
The Goddess writhes, unintelligible moans falling from her lips as you proceed to give her the best fucking cunnilingus of her life.
You’re more than determined to make this an unforgettable experience for the Goddess who probably had sex every other day. 
Natasha doesn’t know what the fuck you’re doing with your tongue, but you’re ravenous and your carnal desire makes her even wetter than before.
She’s slept with plenty of people, human or not, but none of them had ever been this uncouth about her pussy. Oh, it nearly drove her mad, but she was already seeing stars.
Before the Goddess registers what’s happening, your hardened cock slides into her cunt with a flippant ease once again. Natasha lets out a filthy moan as she feels it throb inside her, clenching around you hard.
You slap her thigh in retaliation, but feeling the sudden strike of pain only turns her on further. “Gonna fill you up so good,” you pant. “You won’t be able to walk tomorrow.” 
Natasha takes it as a promise, when you spread her thighs and line your cock up with her pussy. The Goddess of Lust doesn’t think she’s ever wanted anyone this bad.
You enter her roughly, your previously calm exterior completely faded away. You fuck her deeper with each thrust, opening the Goddess up. Pounding into the woman’s cunt like a woman starved, you hear her beg and cry with each thrust.
“Oh, please! More! More!” The Goddes cries, nearly screaming your name every time your blunt head pushes against her cervix. You only get spurred on further, going at a pace so painfully fast you don’t know if you’ll be able to walk tomorrow.
You swallow at the sight of this Goddess, completely breathtaking in her state of unravelling. 
“My divine Goddess,” You say, leaning down to press a kiss against the bulge of your cock at her lower stomach. 
Those words in itself have Natasha uncoiling before you, your name falling from her lips like a sacred mantra. Her walls are wrapped around your cock so tight, her nails digging into your back so hard it nearly draws blood.
“My divine Goddess,” you repeat, eyes glazed over, reaching your own climax inside her. Natasha lets out a filthy moan, feeling each throb of your cock in her as walls of cum pulse inside her, again and again. 
God, it feels so good, everything everywhere all at once, your world becoming Natasha, Natasha, Natasha. 
You think you could stay like this forever.
A long bath and a trip to the Goddess’ bedroom later, you’re laying on her expensive silk sheets, hair smelling like rosemilk or whatever that shampoo had been called.
You honestly don’t know how this gorgeous woman’s been charmed by your awkward humour and the coffee stain on your work shirt, but you’re definitely not complaining as she nuzzles into your neck, humming in satisfaction.
“You sure that’s the first time you’ve ever had a cock?”
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bfbkg · 8 months
Text
NO MORE HEROES
bakugou x reader
notes/cw: lil something. i have a longer secret relationship fic in my drafts from a while back but that’s yet to be completed. suggestive. minors dni. sfw.
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“so you’ve sworn off heroes then yn?”
you sit perched on the arm of your friends sofa when mina gossips to you, a light smile on her face ready to poke some information out of you about your dating life. it’s a small friendly gathering and you’re doing what you do best, sticking to the people you know which is only mina.
immediately you nod your head, paying no mind to the eyes you know are burning into your back from behind you. there bakugou katsuki sits, a top hero and the guy you’ve been spending time with… after hours.
mina is referring to a date you had with a small league hero a few months back. it was okay, minus the fact he wouldn’t stop talking about himself and would never ask you any questions. you’re not interested in him anymore especially not now since the grumpy blonde pushed his way into your life.
nobody knows about your little situation with bakugou and you both would like to keep it like that. for the time being anyway.
“yep! the guys are all so arrogant and big headed. you know what i mean,” you respond, taking a swig from your drink and hoping she doesn’t see through your lie. only the first word though. male heroes really are what you said.
mina laughs, her candyfloss pink curls bouncing with the movement, “oh i know exactly what you mean! i went out with one from a few cities over and he kept pretending like i was his fan? i’ve been in this business longer than he has!”
you nod sympathetically, “yeah, i don’t think i could—,”
a snort sounds behind you and you close your eyes as if to pretend it never happened. mina hears it though and steps around you to stare at the man sitting behind you.
“why’re you laughing, grumpy?”
when you turn around bakugou’s already staring at you. his hair is styled by you since he was over at yours before you both came over here and his outfit are clothes he left over at yours that you’ve washed. if anyone here has a scent quirk, they’d definitely recognise you both smell very similar.
the face you used to find annoying but now causes a mixture of emotions to bubble inside of you, smirks. he shows his sharp teeth paired with a gleam in his eye as he wipes under his nose to dull it down.
“never say never about datin’ a hero. we aren’t all that bad,” he flicks his jewel ruby eyes between you and mina, legs wide in a spread and arms lazily across his chest.
you don’t have to reply, your glare and pinched lips at him says it all. mina doesn’t notice though, instead scrunches her nose, “i miss the days when you were scared of girls and would curse at them to leave you alone.”
bakugou doesn’t take the bait, he knows how mina works and the past doesn’t matter when he spends the nights (and some days) with a girl as pretty as you. he likes seeing you riled up at him, ready to whine at him before he has you whining in a different way later.
the large man shrugs, his gold chain catching the light along with his little hoop earrings. he looks good in his basic black t-shirt and cargos. fuck, he always looks good.
“i’ve grown up. i’m a big boy now.”
he says this to you. straight face, looking right into your eyes. you know what he means, he is definitely is big. you’ve seen it and felt it.
“yuck!” mina snaps you out of your trance, “i have no clue how women are attracted to you. i’m gonna get another drink, girl. do you want one?”
you wave mina off with a shake of your head, only talking to the man slouched in the sofa when her figure is far enough.
you twist around on the arm of the chair, the perfect position for bakugou to just shove you into his lap. you send him a biting glare and he just grins.
“you are so annoying!” you half whisper. the music is loud enough that nobody can hear you but you can never be too sure.
“you’re the one lyin’ about no more heroes. did you forget how i fucked you this mornin’?”
his eyes trace along your neck, the curve of your breasts under your top before finding your eyes again. he knows your tells, how your eyes soften when you want something or you’re remembering something you shouldn’t.
you drift over the stubble lining his jaw. he was about to shave this morning but decided not to when you murmured how sexy you found it. he then lifted you on your bathroom encounter and forgot why he was there in the first place.
“i think i remember how i fucked you. you do like a little ass tickle, don’t you dynamight?”
bakugou chuckles, deep and full of vibration. it has you wanting to laugh too, loosening your crossed arms.
“am i comin’ over later?” he sniffs, talking to you but looking at the crowd of people before him.
“i’m not watching the third saw movie on my own and we didn’t even get to finish earlier so you owe me.” you reply with a smile, not meeting his eyes either.
you’ve long learnt that productivity doesn’t exist in the evenings with bakugou and whilst he was trying to taunt you into staying in bed with him, you wanted to come to this social gathering. he won’t admit it but he’s only here because of you and hasn’t left yet for the same reason.
bakugou’s about to reply when mina comes up to you, “yn! there’s a guy i want to introduce you to! i think he works in hero investment? i dunno but he’s not a hero!”
mina drags you over to where she came from and while you listen to her speak a million miles an hour about this new guy, you turn to bakugou to give him the tiniest wave.
the hero nods, raising his beer to you and its not long before his red haired friend joins him on the sofa.
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ginger4sugar · 8 months
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Ok ok I’m trusting you with this, baby 😩 pls write something based of these two 🫶🏾🤍
Tell me this and this ain’t Ony fucking the brat out of us when we start acting crazy and run off to shake some ass at a club after an argument 😩😩 the way I’ve been down BAD for papa 😍😍 he’s so fucking fine. I know we screaming out daddy and papa while crying when he’s fucking us up !!
☆彡 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒ミ★
Characters Included — Ony x Reader
Gingers Notes — 🔞 twitter links 🤭thank you for trusting me suga, this was too good, nobody could tell me anything to convince me in those videos that isn’t him, it’s been a lil bit since i’ve wrote smut i don’t wanna starve y’all for too long 😛 I’ll tag people later it’s like 4:20 n the morning
Content Warning — Smut, y/n getting manhandled, cursing, N word used, spanking, y/n being hardheaded, not proofread
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“Ony please—”
“Who?”
“Daddy,”
“mhm.”
He wasn’t listening to a word you were saying, he didn’t let you get your fake apology out in the car, so why would he let you get your apology out now when he has your face pressed into the pillow already, arch in your back giving him a good look at the showcase of your bare ass and your cunt that was shiny with slick that was sticking to your folds shamelessly.
He told you not to go. And you did. Lying about was one thing, But showing out the time you were gone only worsened everything else.
Ony told you multiple times your friends would get you in trouble one day, feeding you all that shit about “being independent”, “doing what you wanna do.”, and “Not letting a nigga control you.” It’s honestly almost admirable at just how it seems every opportunity, you unknowingly prove him right.
“Please don’t be madd ..” you could say everything but what he wanted to hear, a sorry.
You were. But you weren’t when you lied, telling him you were gonna go run to the store and grab a few snacks for the movie night you two had planned after he told you no to partying. Not knowing that underneath his jacket that you were wearing was a full outfit. Not like he could questioned why you had makeup on or why your purple wig was styled in big curls— since he was sitting on the couch with his back towards you just giving you a slight nod and a “ight.”
He had no clue your friends were outside after they carpooled to pick you up. Taking you to the party he told you to not go to, in an outfit you knew he wouldn’t approve of you going out in unless he was with you. You thought you were slick, partying with all your heart’s content, Throwing ass, taking shots, having a time.
But when Ony realized how long you were gone, he pulled his phone out to text you, but it seemed he didn’t have to when he got a text from Eren instead— a video, looking closely at his phone seeing that the girl in the background was in fact his defying girlfriend twerking to sum trashy trap music while your friends hyped you up, throwing money all over you and slapping your ass.
‘isn’t that your girl?’
Yeah it was, Ony wasted no time looking at your location and grabbing his keys. Speeding his way to the lo, and when he got there you could almost feel when he was in your proximity before he actually got to you, not saying a word as he grabbed your arm and almost dragged you to his car, opening the passenger door for you and letting you get in.
You could tell he was mad the entire ride, His grip on the steering wheel right, his eyes low n focused on the road. You tried to break the tension, “Ony— it was just,” “Ion wanna hear yo ass right now, just know, when we get home, take allat shit off, face down. Ion want no squirming, running, nun of that.” He shut you down really quick.
You already was moving too much for him when he was spanking you, your hand catching his wrist a few times— hence the reason now you he had your hands cuffed laying on your back. You knew how ony got when he got upset with you, and you could tell tonight would be no different as you heard the shuffling of his clothes being removed before his hand was striking your ass one last time for good measure. You whined when his tip was prodding at your entrance.
Ony’s girl had no room to defy him, you were spoiled rotten, he bought you whatever you wanted, he drove you almost anywhere you wanted to go, he kept you high when you wanted to be high, and he kept you happy all the time. And the one time he tells you no, you go against his wishes. He was pissed, and it showed the way he pushed his dick inch by inch into you, your glossed lips parting with a strangled moan and his hand grabbed at your wrists to keep you in place as he started his harsh thrusts.
Ony swore he had the best view. Your ass clapping back on his dick, Your tramp stamp and the tattoo of his name on your back shoulder blade, and you, your side of your face pressed into the pillow with your eyes rolling back in pure pleasure as moans n small screams of obscenities left your lips. “lost yo mind, sneakin out n shi—”He mumbled his free hand gripping at your waist pulling you to fuck back.
You didn’t know how you had planned on getting away with sneaking out in the first place, but now your brain was in shambles trying to come up with anything to say, “Can’t speak na? Y/n don’t fuckin—” You whined as you felt his hand release your waist and wrapped around your body to grab your neck pulling you to his chest his thrust continuing seemingly going deeper then before, his breath right next to your ear “Who you was showin out fa? Yo lil friends?” You shook your head biting your lips “Then who? Sum nigga at that party?— you kno i’ll kill everyone in there.” He spoke so surely you knew he wasn’t joking “N—nobody,, nobody daddy—” He scoffed letting your neck go, your face being back into the pillow.
He couldn’t get over your whimpers he almost started to give you mercy as his eyes roamed down your back to where you both were connected, his base covered in a sticky white and your slick running down your inner thighs, “I’m so—so sorryyy, daddy please, i’m so sorryyy,” you pleaded feeling your waterline tearing up as you took your punishment. “Yeah? what you sorry fa princess?” He asked his thrust getting sharper prodding at your cervix with rigor, your fucked up mind not being able to form words for his question until his hand sent a harsh slap across your ass, demanding for a answer. “Listening! I’m s-sorry fa— fuckkkk, not listening daddy.” You cried out before your hands in cuffs started to squirm, wanting to be freed so you could at least grip the sheets.
“Not gon do,, it againnn i pr’mise—” you pleaded inbetween your sobbing moans, his silence being deadly only his grunts leaving his lips before his fingers started to play with your clit, catching you by surprise, you jolting in surprise “Fuckkk daddy ‘m cum,, ‘imma cum, pleapleaplease.” Your head spinning as Ony thrust sped up and his fingers kept playing with your pearl until you were cumming for him, your thighs n legs shaking as you through you head back with a screaming moan, Ony fucking you through it, Until you were collapsing into the sheets.
He chuckled lowly as he removed the cuffs turning you over on your back, your body lined with a thin sheer of sweat as you looked at him while trying to catch your breath, your pouty lips puffy n bruised from biting them too much before Ony was leaning down to lay a kiss on them, “Daddy forgives you.” you let out a hitched breath thinking that you were done until his hands were hooked underneath your thighs, throwing you legs over his shoulders.
“But ian say you could cum.”
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yourtamaki · 1 month
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Hozier anon, I need more about virgin Zoro please, I crave it like the sun
anything for you beloved <3
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before he met you, zoro had a practically non-existant sex drive. none of his masculinity is tied up in how many people he can get in his bed and why would it be? his identity starts and ends with the swords strapped to his waist. they’re all he needs.
and then, there’s you.
he has no fucking clue what to do with you and your sudden presence in his life. you and your smiles and your quiet patience with him. but zoro isn’t one to turn and flee from the unknown. so when you invite him back to your room one night he follows, spine straight and steps sure.
and yet all the confidence he’s wrapped himself up in does nothing to guide him when he’s knelt on the bed between your spread legs, staring openly at where you’re wet and aching. for him.
zoro grits his teeth, a thousand questions trapped behind them. what he should do and how he should touch you and fuck, what did he do to get you like this already?
“show me,” he finally settles on and zoro waits until your eyes meet before he says, “show me how you like it. show me how you want me to fuck you.”
because when zoro commits himself to learning something, he’ll only obey the best and nobody knows your body better than you do. he’ll listen to every word you say, watch you rub your pretty clit and stretch yourself open for him all so that one day, he can fuck you dumb without you having to lift a finger for your pleasure.
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xxsabitoxx · 11 months
Text
Your go-to line to piss Sanemi off is simply “You want to fuck me so bad, don’t you?” Why? Because it shuts him up so quickly. You don’t say it because you think it’s true, rather you say it because you know it flusters him so badly that he can’t carry on with whatever tirade he was going through. You have no shame when you spout that line, it doesn’t matter who’s around either. I’d anything, you prefer saying it when lots of people are around just to drive the point home further. Sanemi, who’s utterly mortified every time you spout that same cocky line. His face flushing, the words dying on his hips, his confidence disappearing as he turns away from you each time. “C’mon, Shinazugawa! You can’t feel the sexual tension between us? You wanna bend me over the nearest surface and fuck me so bad, don’t you?” He’s frozen, face steadily turning red as he tries to compose some sort of response. He can’t understand why your words get to him so easily the moment you switch the subject. “Fuck off.” Is all he can muster. “Naw, I’d rather you fuck me.” You’re giggling, completely unserious as you cross your arms and taunt him. He says nothing, but he stands his ground. Not scurrying off like he usually does… only because the two of you are alone at the moment. Nobody is around to snicker at him. “Aren’t you gonna come up with some smart ass response? Or are you that much of a virgin.” Sanemi is blinking at you with wide eyes. “I’m not a virgin.” Gruff and to the point, his limits are being tested. “Oh? That’s pretty shocking.” You step closer, arms still folded, eyes practically drinking him in. “You’re so determined to get me to fuck you, yet you’re shocked I’m not a virgin? You want me that bad that you were willing to fuck around with a man that potentially had no clue what he was doing? What a little slut you are.” There a new found confidence as Sanemi finds his stability, no longer afraid to bark back. You’re frozen, blinking a few times as you realize the tables are slowly but surely turning. Yet, you managed to compose yourself. “And what if I am? You’d still want to fuck me stupid, wouldn’t you?” You’re smirking, watching him study your face before huffing out a response.
“Of course I fucking would.”
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angelrari · 4 months
Text
gossip girl · pt. xi
based on the tv series gossip girl
max verstappen / charles leclerc x socialité!reader
fc: elsa hosk (y/n) · taylor hill (léa) · barbara palvin (jolie)
a/n: hi! sorry this took long! my personal life has been a roller-coaster these past days, but here's a new part for you, i hope you enjoy it! 🤍
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gossip girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of monaco's elite.
f1drivers
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liked by username, username and 637 others
f1drivers max verstappen and charles leclerc arrive to the paddock for fp1-2 #lasvegasgp
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username ah yes the y/n lover duo
username i call them the edward and jacob of f1
username and y/n?
f1drivers apparently she came with max, but she used a private entrance
username i really need to know what's happening between them and y/n @/gossipgirl
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the city lights of las vegas' nightlife shined brightly and illuminated the whole town. the temperature had quickly dropped after the moon had risen, so you stood inside the red bull garage, with your hands in the pockets of the leather jacket you wore, waiting for max now the stewards had announced the fp1 session would not be resumed.
it had been a disaster. not even 10 minutes in, a loose drain cover had hit carlos' ferrari. max was right, this is a shitshow. luckily nobody had gotten hurt, but your blood ran cold at the thought of what could have happened.
"is carlos okay?". you heard max ask as soon as he got out of the vehicle.
"yes, he's fine".
max looked at you as he skillfully removed his helmet. it fascinated you: how the way the man who was always kind and tender turned into a hungry lion whenever he was in a racing suit and how his ocean blue eyes somehow turned a shade darker.
"seems like the start of fp2 will be delayed. they have informed us that they are checking all the drain covers now".
"great, fucking great". max said sarcastically.
"go rest, it seems like this will take long".
"yeah, yeah, i will".
max had waited until you were in his drivers' room, out of the public eye, to give you a chaste kiss. he had removed the top part of his elivs' inspired racing suit, that now was tied on his hips, and sat down on the sofa next to you.
"i have texted charles to ask him how carlos was". you told his as you intertwined your fingers with his. "and he told me everything is okay, but apparently he couldn't feel his legs for a few seconds".
"it doesn't make sense". he stated. "all that show for this? he could've got seriously injured".
"i know". you said. "it's scary to know they spent millions on this, but didn't even bother to check the drain covers twice".
"yeah". he tightened his embrace on your body. "aren't you tired? you didn't sleep well yesterday".
"kind of". you replied. "but it's okay, i'll drink another coffee later".
"and what are we going to do if you can't sleep later?".
"i'll wake you up because i will blame it on you".
"i'm sure i'll find a way to keep you entertained".
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yourusername has posted a story
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caption: might have some trouble sleeping later
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max's fingers played with the buttons of your pink pajama shirt while yours caressed his damp hair. the smell of vanilla gel from the shower you had shared lingered on your bodies. now you laid on the hotel bed you shared, with your legs intertwined with his and feeling the beat of his heart against yours.
"you haven't had enough?".
"of you?". he said as he leaned in for a quick kiss. "never".
your hands moved to touch his face, feeling his stubble on your fingertips, you traced with your fingers the side of his jaw.
"i have to tell you something". you stated and his blue eyes starred into yours to look for a clue. "but promise me you won't get angry".
"that doesn't sound good".
"i know". you replied. "but nothing has happened, so don't worry".
"okay, i'm listening".
"yesterday charles confessed he still had feelings for me". you said. "when we were on our way back to the hotel, we were talking about léa and he told me he had realized that he didn't feel about her the same way he felt with me".
"he did?". he said and you nodded. "and how do you feel about it?".
"i love charles the way you love an old friend, i have many memories with him that are so dear to me". you explained. "but i know that what i once felt is not what i feel now and i'm sure that it's you the one who i want in my life".
"good". he said. "because i'm not letting you go anytime soon".
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a-hazbin-reader · 2 months
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I don’t know if you’re taking requests but if you are can you do a Alastor x reader where reader had a hopper focus on Alastors life as a killer and such and when they die they go to hell and they meet al and they are like fanning out over him and Alastor is kind happy about it and reader is like talking about how they listen to his radio shows on repeat it can be romantic or platonic or be read as ether I don’t mind (:
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I love this idea so much! Just two unhinged demons feeding off each other's energy~
Alastor X Reader Headcanons
❌️Romantic
✅️Platonic
TW: Murder, Obsession
Description: ⬆️👆
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My snookums
Alastor couldn't even try to be humble about it, soaking up all of your attention and praise with a prideful aura
Husk is so fucking done. He needs a drink
Ngl tho-
He is genuinely mystified and curious as to how you found him out, both in life and death
He was so careful???? The police never found him out so how did some chump fan figure out that he was a serial killer???
Guess he was lucky that you turned out to be a fan and not a snitch
I mean- his handiwork is always beautiful so maybe that's what gave him away
Yeah sure
And then you figure out his identity in HELL and still follow his life like he's a celebrity??
You're making him blush~ Stop it, you~
You know things about him that he himself had forgotten, his earlier days of scrambling for power, his first battles and victories
PLUS you listened to all his radio shows???
Not only are you some sort of genius but you also have great taste 👌
He at least has the decency to blush a little while you fangirl over him and babble about how amazing he is
It's just so good to be properly appreciated
Everyone SHUT UP Y/N is TALKING don't be RUDE
Okay now Vaggie is out
Oh do go on~ He wants to hear more from you~
Would love to hear your early theories about when he was a serial killer, the steps you took to finding him out and what final clue gave him away
Go onnnnnn
Sips tea and kicks his feet when you get to the start of his early afterlife and you begin to figure out who he used to be
Keep goinggggggggg
Is nearly shaking with excitement when you start to theorize where he went for 7 years, nobody has ever granted him this much time and attention
YES
Neither confirms or denies the last part but happily invites you to tag along with him more often
Will literally bring you to places with him just so you can tell everyone around you how amazing he is
What can he say, he likes your style 😉
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I hope you liked it 😘
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