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#nobody messes with my queue warmer
anetteslife · 5 years
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nicknellie · 3 years
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Anonymous requested: Alex meets Willie at a coffee shop and they’ve been talking for a few weeks but Alex is afraid to admit anything of liking Willie. But his friends push him to and he finds out that Willie likes him back and they go on a date.
I combined this with a prompt from this amazing list because I thought it was funny. I didn’t include the actual date because I know nothing about skating but if enough people want it then I’d be more than happy to do a part two of this!
I also added Julie, Carrie, and Alex being best friends because we deserve it.
Batman and the Barista
Aside from his co-workers, there was not one single thing about working at Eats ‘n’ Beats that made Alex Mercer’s job there bearable. If the coffee machine wasn’t straight-up not working, it was spurting scalding water at him; the customers were generally speaking entitled and rude; his boss was so laid-back and carefree that it was painful and no problems in the workplace ever got solved; and the hours were ridiculous – for example, some days Alex worked from four a.m. until nine a.m. Who in their right mind wants coffee at four o’clock in the morning?
The only other thing – or rather, the only other person – that might have stood any chance of making Alex’s job worthwhile also made it worse. They would have been perfect if only for the fact that they wouldn’t tell Alex their goddamn name.
He was a regular at Eats ‘n’ Beats and seemed to come into the shop at least once on every one of Alex’s shifts. He was, in Alex’s eyes, utterly perfect – beautiful tawny skin, long dark hair sometimes twined into a bun at the base of his neck, and the most adorable smile Alex could imagine. It was downright unfair how attractive he was, and how funny, kind, and smart he was too.
If only he would tell Alex who he was.
Every single time he came in the shop, the guy ordered the same drink (hot chocolate with cream, marshmallows, sprinkles, the works) and every time Alex would ask for his name. Every single time he had received a different answer.
The first few times he had hardly noticed. The second time the guy came in the coffee shop he had told Alex his name was Horatio – Alex could have sworn his name had been Patrick the week before, but it was possible that he was misremembering, so he hadn’t thought anything of it. But the next time the guy came in his name had been Edmund. After that it had been Marcus, then Jason, then Rudy, Stewart, Bob, Milo. The names had got increasingly weirder; just yesterday Alex had scrawled Megamind on the guy’s to-go cup. Before that it had been Sherlock.
As lovely as the guy was, Alex often found himself complaining to his friends about him and his lack of naming consistency, usually on his too-short breaks.
“He just seems like a really cool guy,” he was saying to his co-workers Carrie and Julie one day as they all sat around a small, cramped table in the staff room. “I’d really like to get to know him but he seems intent on me not knowing him at all!”
Alex could practically hear Carrie rolling her eyes. “We know you’d like to get to know him,” she muttered, “it’s all you ever talk about.”
“That’s not true,” Alex protested. “I talk about other things!”
“Like what?” Carrie asked, raising a perfectly trimmed eyebrow.
“Like the band,” Alex returned.
Julie shook her head. “Only if I bring it up first. And your contribution is usually something along the lines of ‘I wish coffee shop guy would come to one of our gigs, how cool would that be?’”
“That’s not– I– okay.” Alex sighed, then said under his breath, “Although it would be kinda cool if he did come to one of our shows.”
Carrie sighed dramatically. “You are so far gone it’s painful to listen to.”
“Just ask him out,” Julie said, smiling fondly. “I see the way he grins at you when he gives you a ridiculous fake name – his smile is so wide it practically falls off his face!”
“I don’t want to ask him out,” Alex lied. It wasn’t as if a lie like that could work on Julie and Carrie anyway; they both rolled their eyes and crossed their arms, eerily in sync with each other. “I don’t! I just want to get to know him.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?” Julie said.
“No. I wanted to get to know you guys without wanting to date you.”
“That’s because you’re gay,” Carrie said matter-of-factly, “and Julie and I are, correct me if I’m wrong, girls.”
“That’s fair,” Alex conceded. “But I don’t want to ask him out.”
Julie patted his hand. “Sure, Alex.”
A few minutes later, their break ended and the three friends made their way back out front to the shop. It was bustling and busy, and the co-worker Alex took over from on the register looked one customer away from breaking down into a mess of tears.
Alex, Julie, and Carrie (each manning their stations either on the cash register, at the coffee machine, or calling orders) started working, getting drinks and snacks for everyone. In the first five minutes, only one person yelled at Alex for accidentally spelling their name wrong on the cup, which passed as a good five minutes in his book.
Alex wouldn’t deny that he was watching the door, waiting for someone specific to come in. So maybe he was a little distracted, and maybe he did mess up a few orders or names, and maybe he could feel Julie and Carrie fondly glaring at him for being a little bit elsewhere, but it wasn’t really his fault. It was entirely Cute No-Name’s fault and if asked that was exactly who Alex would blame.
Eventually, with only ten minutes to go until closing time when the customers had dwindled down to just one or two every few minutes, the door swung open and the guy finally came in. There was something a little different today, and Alex’s throat went dry when he saw it – Cute No-Name had a skateboard tucked under his arm and removed his helmet as he entered the shop.
There was no queue at this hour, so he sauntered right up to Alex, a wide smile on his face.
“Hey, hotdog,” the guy said. It was a name he’d started using for Alex after seeing that one of the many things he had embroidered on his work apron was a hotdog (right between the rainbow flag and the drumsticks). Alex didn’t like the nickname, but No-Name couldn’t be stopped.
“Hey,” Alex replied, clearing his throat. “Hey, how are you?”
“I’m good,” No-Name replied. “You?”
“Yeah, yeah, great,” Alex said. He was aiming for a casual tone, but judging by Carrie and Julie’s poorly masked snickers he was not doing a very good job. “You want the usual?”
“Yeah, thanks, man,” the guy said. “To-go, please.”
Alex nodded, punching the price into the cash register and giving the guy his total. After he had been paid, Alex picked up a to-go cup and a permanent marker, turning to No-Name again. “So, what’s your name today?”
No-Name considered for a moment, then grinned. Maybe Julie was right, Alex thought – nobody could find this whole thing so funny that they’d smile that wide.
“I’m Batman,” the guy said. The worst part was that he did the voice too.
Alex groaned and shook his head, fighting a smile as he scrawled ‘Batman’ on the cup. “Of course you are. Carrie,” he called over his shoulder, holding the cup out. “This guy’s usual, please.”
Carrie didn’t take the cup. Instead, giggling along with Julie, she said, “Sorry, but who is ‘this guy’?”
“Carrie,” Alex said warningly.
“Who is he, Alex?” Julie asked, face bright with laughter.
“Not you too,” Alex said. Carrie, Julie, and No-Name were all properly laughing now. “I seriously can’t be the only one who doesn’t find this funny.”
“What’s his name, Alex?” Carrie asked between laughs.
Alex scowled at her. “Batman.”
Finally, Carrie took the cup and started making ‘Batman’s’ drink. Alex, shaking his head exasperatedly, turned back to face No-Name.
“Can I ask what your actual name is?” he said while Julie and Carrie were distracted by throwing marshmallows at each other, clearly not listening. “Genuinely. Because you always give a fake or different name and I… I mean, I just want to know who you really are.”
No-Name’s beam faded to a smaller, more delicate, warmer smile. “Sure, hotdog. It’s Willie.”
It was really that easy? All he’d had to do this whole time was ask?
“Really? No joking around this time?” The guy nodded. Alex thought for a moment and then said, “Willie what?”
Willie shrugged and leaned on the counter. He wasn’t that close, but Alex felt as if they were practically nose-to-nose. He wouldn’t have admitted how much that made his heart race.
“It depends,” Willie said. “What’s yours?”
Alex furrowed his brow, confused, but still said, “It’s Mercer.”
The mischievous grin was back. Willie straightened up and said, “Well, in that case, hopefully one day it’ll be Willie Mercer.”
Alex felt his jaw drop, heard Julie gasp, and heard Carrie not-so-quietly utter a swear.
Willie was the only one who seemed unaffected. He beamed over at Carrie, saying, “Is my drink nearly ready? I’ve got a skatepark to get to.”
With shaking hands, Carrie passed Willie his drink, and after they’d all said their goodbyes she slapped Alex’s arm. Repeatedly. Hard.
“He likes you,” she hissed. She almost sounded angry, but Alex knew that she was simply passionate about something potentially going right in his love life for once. “He totally likes you!”
“You think so?” Alex asked sceptically. “Because he could have just been joking–”
Julie scoffed. “That guy’s idea of a joke is giving a fake name at a coffee shop, not the implication of marriage.”
Alex couldn’t help it. He let himself smile and felt himself blush.
“So,” Julie continued, “will you ask him out now?”
Alex looked at the floor, still smiling sheepishly. “I’ll think about it,” he mumbled through his smile.
In the end, it didn’t really take much thinking about. Willie came in again the next day, even though it was one of Alex’s four-til-nine shifts. At six a.m. on the dot, Willie pushed the door open, the only customer in the shop.
“Hey, hotdog,” he greeted as usual, coming over and leaning against the counter.
“Hey, Willie,” Alex returned, smiling. He couldn’t believe he had a real name to use for this guy now; it made his heart beat in a way that was far too over the top for the situation. Without asking what Willie wanted or for a name to put on his cup, he set about making the drink. “You went skating yesterday, right? How was it?”
Willie grinned, fiddling with a ribbon on a charity collection tub. “It was fun. I mastered a trick I’ve been trying to learn for months. Have you ever skated?”
“Yep,” Alex said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Loads of times.”
Willie laughed. Alex adored the sound, and the way Willie’s eyes crinkled with his smile as he giggled. He felt his heart beat even faster. “So that’s a no. Maybe I could teach you sometime.”
“I’m not sure you really want to do that,” Alex said, handing over the drink, the name ‘Willie’ written on the side of the cup. “I don’t think I’m exactly badass skater material.”
“Still,” Willie said with a shrug. “It’d be fun. And we could make it a date. If you want.”
Yet again, Alex felt his jaw drop. “Wait, really? You want to… okay. You want to go on a date with me?”
Willie said nothing, just smiled brightly.
“I… I mean, yeah,” Alex continued, feeling very flustered, overwhelmed by the butterflies in his stomach. They were happy butterflies though – unnaturally happy. “Yeah, I also want to go on a date. With you. Thank you. People probably don’t say ‘thank you’ when they’re asked on a date, do they? That was probably weird, I’m sorry–”
Willie laughed and Alex stopped talking. He wouldn’t have been surprised if the whole world stopped, if the Earth ceased its spinning every time Willie made that sound.
“It’s a date,” Willie said, grinning. “Are you free today?”
Alex choked to find his voice and said, “Yeah, I finish at nine.”
“Cool, bro, I’ll be here to pick you up then. Sound good?”
“Sounds great,” he returned. Once again, he wasn’t quite sure he hit his target of ‘coolly disinterested’ and instead landed at ‘so disinterested that it was obvious that he was interested’. “I’ll see you then.”
“Catch you later, hotdog,” Willie said, saluting as he left the coffee shop, the bell on the door ringing behind him.
Alex couldn’t help but do an excited little jump and something that might have passed for a happy dance, but there was nobody there to see him so it didn’t matter. He couldn’t wait to tell Julie and Carrie about this.
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anetteslife · 5 years
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The "I bet you vote x" line isn't a sick burn, kiddo.
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anetteslife · 5 years
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anetteslife · 5 years
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anetteslife · 5 years
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So done.
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anetteslife · 5 years
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Clearly I must be.
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anetteslife · 5 years
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"I have a foot fetish"
"No thanks"
"Handcuffs?"
"No"
"IM NOT THE CUNT YOU ARE LEARN ENGLISH HJAKJSBSKLAKWNSJ"
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anetteslife · 5 years
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Annoying ass kids
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anetteslife · 5 years
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Very weird, creepy kid. Ugh. Yuck. I feel sick to my stomach.
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anetteslife · 5 years
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anetteslife · 5 years
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anetteslife · 5 years
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At least he knows he's a liar
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anetteslife · 5 years
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If all you know is my profile picture, you're lazy. There are people on that app who don't know how to use it, so I've screenshotted my profile and put it in my pictures, as long as a screenshot of a note with lots of info about me. He didn't even bother scrolling through the 4 or 5 pictures I have 🤦‍♀️
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anetteslife · 5 years
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There was no point in calling him out, he would only go "ARE YOU TRIGGERED????" so I played his game instead
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anetteslife · 5 years
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