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#no spoilers just complaining about myself
slothspaghettiwrites · 2 days ago
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I still haven't watched the first Loki episode and every time I see a filtered post I struggle to stop myself from looking at it. Like I wanna know. I need to know, but I don't want spoilers. 😂😂😂
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jacquesthepigeon · a month ago
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Me: I’m so tired of sad rich kids pls use a different trope
Also me: GIVE ZOE THIS OVERUSED KDRAMA TROPE ITLL BE FUNNY I SWEAR
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abundantsolace · a month ago
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read eula's character stories and voice lines because i love spoilers and i probably won't get her. two things:
1. she's actually pretty tolerable tbh, i'll pull for her just in case i get lucky
2. eula and jean are kismeses but y'all aren't ready for that conversation (actually it's not a perfect analogy but eula definitely has pitch feelings for jean and i will not back down on this)
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silverliver · 7 months ago
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gou ep 4
bruh 
#spoilers for higurashi gou after this point#sorry i keep ranting to myself about this show here because i aint got friends who watch higurashi or even if they did they dont remember it#very well but im like obsessed with higurashi for life sooo#also tumblr is lowkey just my place to dump my fandom contents because this website is literally dead and almost no one is here anymore but#i still like finding gifsets and stuff and screaming in the tags to myself LOL#OK EP 4??#WHAT A TWIST#they really made us think keiichi overcame his paranoia and was going to trust rena instead of advancing in the virus and killing her#but TWIST rena is the one with the virus all along and she kills him instead#i felt so bad for keiichi JAGNJAKN#AND ITS KIND OF WEIRD SEEIGN RENA ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING SO BAD??#LIKE LOWKEY I KNOW SHES LIKE THE IMAGE CHARACTER FOR THE SERIES SO EVERYONE WHO KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT HIGURASHI PROBABLY ASSUME SHES HECKA#VIOLENT BUT IN REALITY LIKE EVERYONE SHE KILLED IN THE ORIGINAL HAD IT COMING SO LIKE ?? SHE WAS ALWAYS PRETTY MUCH GOOD TO ME LOL#so its weird seeing her act that crazy in L5?? like lowkey out of character?#im really enjoying this story now because they're changing enough that even veterans can re-experience the shock of higurashi without#knowing what will happen already#like that ep was fun although some are complaining that the scene was too exaggerated and drawn out#yeah it kind of was tbh all the tonal shifts and quote on quote scary scenes in gou so far seem not as scary as the original#partly because the art style is too cute and its kind of animated more similarly to other anime than to the original#and like im shocked keiichi survived after getting stabbed THAT many times but he just bonked rena on the head and she died#tbf head injuries are very serious even when you dont think they should be but MAN he got stabbed AJKGAJN#but im still enjoying the new content and had fun#i think what we saw of that scene actually may have not been 100% trustworthy#given higurashis history of answer and question arcs and characters hallucinating things that didnt happen#like literally what we just saw may have not even been what really happened for all i know#but anyway this is fun but im still hoping this isnt canon because i still want matsuribayashi-hen to be the true ending#and tbh a lot about the premise of gou actually makes no canonical sense based on the rules of how higurashi arcs have always been set up a#and how hanyuus universe traveling is supposed to have a limitation to it?#like shes not supposed to be able to do this anymore?#so the premise itself is bs but its still fun to watch so im hoping still this is more of an alternate continuation rather than a canon
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sovereigndinosaur · 9 days ago
SO!!! SO!!! HOWS THE UT YOUTUBE GAME UNDERTALE GAME SO FARR!?!??! I SEE YOU WANNA RAMBLE GIMME GIMME IT TO MEEEEEE I WANNA KNOWWW <:O]] YOU SEEM SO HAPY WHEN YOU PLAY IT <:O]]cc COMMMMEEE ONNNN DO ITTTT!!!
OkAY gonna put this under the read more cause theres probably spoilers n uh im probably gonna talk a lot
OKAY SO THE THE THR DXOHSHSFFGGGGSSHSHSVSHSVSVSHS OKAY SO STARTING OFFFFFFF THE GAME LOOKED REALLY COOL LIKE BASICALLY, MY DAD SAID WE COULD GET SOME NEW GANES ON THE XBOX!!!! RIGHJT? SO THEN I SAW UNDERTALE AND I WAS LIKE, OH OH! HAVEN'T PLAYED THE GAME YET!!!!!! MIGHT AS WELL GIVE IT A SHOT!!!!!! Okay okay so getting into the game, I put in my name which was surprisingly hard cause like I couldn't see what letter I was on BAHA we have a projector so it's kinda hard to see sometimes BUT DINO DINO RIGGT?!!? PUT THAT IN OUSGHHGHGGHHHHH EEEEEEEE!?!??!?!?! I ACCIDENTALLY SKIPPED THE CUTSCENE! TWICE!!!!!! BUT grrrgrrrrrrrrr Flowey I HATE THAT STUPID FLOWER SMMMMM GREGRRGRGGRR I JUST JUST GET SO SCARWD AND MAD WHENEVR HE'S AROUND BRRGRGRRGRGRRGRG ESPECIALLY FIRST PLAYING THE GAME HE WAS JUST-- THERE AND WAS LIKE Ehehehe hiya take these little white floating love pellets LIEK GEGRGGRGGGGR HE MAKES ME SO MAD JUST HHGRRRGRFFRFRFRGRRR BUT BUT THEN, ahem, *tucks hair behind ear*, Toriel came and uhm saved me with her magical powers ahem ahem, OYTHGHU TORIEL TORIEL SHE'S JUST- AHWHWYGWHAWGWGW SO sooooooo sweeeeettttt like I vebrbrbbrbrbrbrbrbrbr. SO! WAITING FOR HER RIGHT?!?! I WAS BEING A GOOD FRISK AND WAITING BUT MY BROTTTHEEERRRR HAD TO COME ALONG AND GO COMPLAINING ABOUT ME WAITING GGRGRRRRRR LIKE!?!?!?!??!?!!??!?! I'M BEING GOOD THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID SHE SHE TOLD ME TO WAIT SO EXCUSE ME. I actually called her a couple of times before actually going out. BUT I BREEZED THROYGH ALL THOSE PUZZLES CUASE I'M SO smort 😎😎😎👌 BUT AFTER GOING THROUGH THE PUZZLES FINALLY GOT BACK TO TORIEL AIUGGGSGHHHHHHH FIBALLLYYYYYYYY ANNNFDDD I BELIEVE SHE TOOK ME TO HER HOUSE AND ahem, *tucks hair behind ear* she baked me a butterscotch cinnamon pie which is like, SO nice hello!??!?!?!?!?!?! You went out of your way to make me, a total stranger, a pie!??!?!?!?!?! Sob sob but buttttt of course all good things come to an end sigh sigh. After sleeping a couple of times I kinda started to get bored and decided to talk to Toriel. AND SHE GAVE ME SOME SNAIL FACTS AIAYHSUGGHHHGSHG which was really nice but then I asked her how to get out. BUT I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO LEAVE BDBRBRBEBEBEBBE. I can't remember what happened after asking her but I think she got upset? And told me to go to bed? BUT I went downstairs and she tokd me not to gooooo of course and I did what she asked and went to bed BUT my brother was telling me to go and I was just. no 😊. Butttt eventually I went and followed her downstairs and she WANTED TO FIGHT ME NOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭 I JUST I JUST I JUST NOOOOOOOOOOO I DON'T WANNNNNAAAAAAAA 😭😭😭😭 BUT I WENT BACK UPSTAIRS TO CRY IN MY BED SOB SOB bahaha but then of course guess what I went down there and started my FIRST actual fight sob sob Toriel is the last person I would wanna fight. And uhnmmm ahem ahem OKAH OKAY LOOK DON'T JUDGE ME OJAG I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY OKAY OKAY OKAY look look I uhmm ahem ahem accidentally killed Toriel sob sob NO I AM NOT PROUD OF MYSELF I ACTUALLY CRIED AND EVERYONE MADE FUN OF ME LIKE?!??!??!??!?! HELLO?!?!?!?!?!?! HOW CAN YOU LAUGH HOW HOEWWWWW THIS IS TRAGIC 😭😭😭😭😭😭 BUT I SAVED BEFORE THE FIGHT SO SHE WAS STILL ALIVE YEEEESSSEEVEBE WOAHHHHHH. I HAD TO LOOK UP WHAT TO DO BECAUSE I HAD LITTLE TO NO KNOWLEDGE ON HOW TO PLAY AND I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COUKD SPARE MORE THAN ONCE BAHHA. but guess what happened after the fight. yea that's right. flowey came and confronted me on my previous actions and I was sooooooo so so sos mad I actually yelled out if frustration. AUSFHSGSHSGSHH HOW DID HE KNOW?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! IT WASN'T EVEN IN THE SAVE BROOOOOO
OKAY I HAVE TO REBLOG THIS AND PUT THE REST IN THERE CAUSE IT'S LAGGING
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lucidpantone · 11 days ago
I think people is over reacting, Lucid NEVER promised anything, she just write about spoilers and stuff and she always mentioned that almost all is a theory specially talking about Sobbe because this season they were the less leaked on info and all Lucid has said to us on Yasmina plot has been happening, also there's people with pictures of the Willems on set so they filmed and there's this extra accounts on Instagram of Sobbe plus this mistery Younes roommate and Aïcha brother and Badr and Sander knowing each other theory's because of OG!! and all this theory's going around aren't because Lucid said so, is more because of OG plot, I think is expected and natural that people is waiting for something has happened on almost all remakes and specially OG and the only guilty ones of a hype from fandom of something might happen or not is wtFOCK like, if they don't want fans getting exited, or getting their hopes up for something then they should put it on clear since the beginning BUT ofc they aren't going to do that because Sobbe is their source of views after Kato season, I think is even convenient for them that fans are still keeping hope for Sobbe and all this misterious info even if nothing really happens with them ever...and other thing fans asked for a Yasmina centered season right? That's what they're getting, most people "don't like" Evak plot on OG because is "heavy" and I think until now that's what they're getting so why complaining on Sobbe or Zoenne lack of time on screen?!, Fandom is never gonna be pleased isn't? I do miss Sobbe myself and I did want it a sub-plot from them this season and I'm annoyed of not getting it but I guess I made my mind at not seeing them again until the end of season and I'm enjoying Yasmina, the season is not amazing but is good so far...
Super long rant after the cut
Ok so lets talk about certain aspects of why people are upsets and maybe even why they may be upsets at me. Firstly I think this all stems from one thing which is every single remake has gone with the OG evak plot treatment in their s4. So I do understand people expecting the same evak style investment from wtfock and being upset we havent got it. I stand by what I was told that the script was modified from whatever original s4 was to this s5 adaptation. Could that mean that originally sobbe had more of a presences in the original season? sure, of course but honestly we will never know. What is clear is that willem herbots was definitely on set for ritual in the beginning half of the season and we all knew we wouldnt see sobbe until pass the half way point which is what exactly happened. What we know now is that we have one yasmina/robbe scene, one yasmina, robbe and moyo scene. Most likely a pov clip from sobbe and the beach scenes. That what we know is confirmed however that doesnt mean we cant get more and that doesnt mean we wont learn whatever the supposed sobbe subplot is 3rd hand from like younes for example. Now what I think has been bothering me is people saying the season is bad just because sobbe or zoenne isnt in it. Objectively the season is fine if we focus on what sana seasons are meant to touch upon which is a conflict of faith and belief. Those topics are not tied to sobbe or zoenne and so they dont have to have a subplot in this season for it to be good. I get some people only watch wtfock for their favs and thats fine but as i said going into a season that we know wouldnt focus on zoenne or sobbe and then complaining because the season has done what it was expected to do not focus on those couples and getting annoyed about it is sorta of pointless for me. Like I said I have confirmed what I know to be true and I also communicated what the deep connect said which is "the season isnt over". Thats all I can do I didnt write the script and I have nothing to do with the shows production.
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pixel-archives · 11 days ago
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KNIGHTS TRIVIA
TSUKASA
tsukasa takes sweets to relieve tension
he frequently spends new year’s in another country
he is a second-year student who is the oldest
ARASHI
in japan, arashi’s birthday, march 3rd, is known as girls’ day
arashi employs the pronoun atashi (アタシ), which is frequently used by women
she enjoys being called onee-chan (“big sister”) and frequently utilizes that title when speaking to others, as well as expressing a desire to be called that
she has requested to be called “arashi-chan,” “naru-chan,” “naruko-chan,” or even “ran-ran” (ランラン) instead of a disparaging name
while shopping, she enjoys collecting point cards and obtaining prizes
nyanko (a cutesy way of saying “cat,” like “kitty”) is her cat’s name
she adores cats and is especially fond of them now that nyanko is in her life
despite her admiration for the knights’ outfit, she finds it uninteresting owing to its lack of color
despite often pretending to be weak, she is extremely physically strong
she dislikes wearing apparel that is too tight
she is an expert sewer
she works on her voice so she can move between masculine and feminine vocal registers. she explains that she does this so that she can accept any professional work that is offered to her
arashi is incredibly devoted about self-love and high self-esteem, to the point of appearing narcissistic to others, because it is hinted that she was mistreated and hurt by peers in the past. “above all else, I love myself,” arashi constantly declares
“no matter how much I want it, and no matter how hard I try... I could never become the beautiful woman I dream to be,” she said of self-love. “but even if that’s true, I’m not going to let it get to me. I’m not going to complain about it any longer. I love myself the most, regardless of who I am”
she is fiercely protective of her friends, to the point of wanting to physically harm people who injure them
“what kind of nasty, awful girl would just ditch their beloved friend when they’re in a pinch?” she has said about helping friends. “not me”
SPOILER: izumi says that arashi had an “awful” demeanor before she entered yumenosaki: even when admonished, arashi refused to speak nicely to seniors and would always respond sarcastically
SPOILER: arashi has a crush on akiomi, and she had dyed-brown hair and glasses to resemble him the previous year
SPOILER: arashi, like other students that year, did not participate in idol activities much the previous year
SPOILER: someone once named arashi “the most beautiful person in the world” and confessed their love for her the previous year. this person, on the other hand, committed suicide in the winter after their ambitions were shattered, most likely during the war. as a result, she is constantly willing to help people who are experiencing difficulties
SPOILER: “there was no one there to stick by that person...,” arashi replied in response to this. “at the very least, I don’t want to make the same mistake twice. in knights, I’ll be by everyone’s side”
SPOILER: she wanted to be the kind or “arashi” the world wanted to see at the start of the school year, whatever that meant. however, towards the end of the school year, she is bitter and uncomfortable about not being regarded as the kind of person she truly is
SPOILER: several characters use feminine terms to refer to her. for example, mitsuru refers to arashi as “onee-chan,” madara refers to arashi as his “daughter,” (娘) and tetora refers to arashi as a “charming woman” (魅力的な女のひと) toward the end of beasts
SPOILER: when asked if he would categorize arashi as a girl in ss - effort 3, izumi replies, “if I had to categorize. that one, on the other hand, is more like, “gender: narukami arashi.” and it’s ideal if they’re treated like such. when you treat them like a girl, naru-kun will look at you strangely”
RITSU
ritsu’s signature consists solely of his first name, written in roman characters
ritsu 凛月 means “cold moon” in japanese
ritsu had to repeat his first year because he was frequently late for class or fell asleep in class, causing his attendance record to be ruined
ritsu’s blood pressure is low
ritsu is the strategist for knights
despite how odd (and revolting) his pastries appear, they are actually quite tasty. because of the pastries, rei seems to think ritsu has a bright future for “grasping the concept of black magic at an early age,” much to ritsu’s delight
LEO
leo’s autograph is made up of his whole name written in kanji and katakana
ruka tsukinaga from ensemble girls! is his younger sister
he is referred to as “king” (ou-sama) or “leader” by the knights
according to the official facts, leo is right-handed. however, he appears to be able to use both hands equally well in numerous official photos, implying that he is ambidextrous
he will occasionally forget his surroundings and, in extreme situations, even his own name while entirely immersed in his composition
he has a terrible sense of direction and is frequently getting lost for no apparent reason
he believes in aliens and claims to have interacted with them, as well as being kidnapped by them
because the academy’s studio smells like izumi’s house, he refers to it as “sena house”
after graduation, leo can drive a car. this was revealed first by his sister ruka in ensemble girls!, and then in requiem - prologue
“looking at the earth from the moon,” sora said of his color
SPOILER: leo claims he was kidnapped and has no recollection of what happened, which explains why he has been missing for over a year. it is subsequently revealed that he had been traversing the world as a result of madara’s trips abroad, and that he had encountered an “alien” who spoke japanese
SPOILER: leo declares in the dark night halloween event that he wishes to retire from idol business, but “that suou person” will most likely yell at him
SPOILER: it’s been suggested that he met ruri amamiya from ensemble girls! during his one-year sabbatical, who taught him his “ucchuu” catchphrase
SPOILER: he’s had to rouse rei up on several times when he’s found him passed out
SPOILER: leo refers to eichi as a “blockhead emperor” and recalls eichi treating leo as a “toy” in their previous relationship
SPOILER: while leo was in the hospital with a broken arm, he and eichi became friends. later, while eichi was preparing to reorganize yumenosaki academy, he developed and tested the dreamfes system on chess (a mega-unit leo was leader of at the time). eichi chose the audiences so that knights would gain popularity when chess was broken into parts, one of which was a unit dubbed “knights” by leo and izumi. following that, eichi created audiences out of the students that knights had beat, causing a steep drop in knights’ popularity and thus turning them into outcasts
SPOILER: in checkmate, madara reveals that leo’s damaged arm was caused by him rescuing little john, an archery club cat, from unruly kids
SPOILER: according to izumi, leo isolated himself to his room following the events of their second year (which have yet to be completely explored in canon), pushing himself to compose songs to the point of biting down on his own hand
IZUMI
“water spring” is izumi’s first name (泉). “shoal” is the first character in his surname (瀬). this could be linked to his preference for small, chilly bodies of water like natural springs
only his initial name, written in roman letters, appears on izumi’s autograph
izumi has a habit of calling other people he is close to by their nicknames
on november 2nd, he has the same birthday as rei sakuma
despite being commissioned to write a “tsundere” type for izumi’s character, akira, the main writer of ensemble stars, stated in early 2015 that he ended up being “yandere,” in reference to izumi’s passionate feelings of love for makoto that break his cool-headedness and strip him of his usual serious personality
blue is his favorite color
when he is exposed to hot temperatures, he suffers from heat sensitivity and frequently complains
he is sickened by the smell of alcohol
he is a knitter. some examples of his work are:
makoto’s scarf, which can be seen in his star festival card as well as makoto’s winter live card
tsukasa’s dinosaur plush toy, which can be seen on tsukasa’s star festival card
anzu’s pompom hat
izumi’s close friends call him “mom” or “sister-in-law” to mock his overdone concern for others, with his mother-like nagging being the most notable aspect of it
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tash-sho-sho · 12 days ago
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MC with a demiangel son
I would have rather have someone else to do it, but none of my favorite writers have their requests open >m< I had to do it by myself! My English isn't the best... so if you are reading this, you are warned! Also lesson, 4, 6 and 16 spoilers. Just in case, don't read it unless you are in lesson 21, ok? ♡
The demons were waiting patiently waiting for Barbatos to summon the new human exchange student who were, unlike Solomon, a normal human. A dazzling light invade the room and finally, the human arrived. What they didn't have in mind was that behind them, a small child of 5 years with a strange aura, almost too familiar for the demons in the room.
Mc stand in front of their son trying to protect him from the unknown beings, knowing very well they weren't even humans, and they won't hesitated to protect their child, even if that means to fight demons.
->more under the cut
->->->->->♡<-<-<-<-<-
Lucifer
Was a shock alone to have a human with a child, but the child having almost a... divine aura made Lucifer tense, what kind of human they brought to their program????!! And that child??? Lucifer sure will have an headache for the rest of the year. He is suspecting that child is not 100% human, he wants to throw them back to the portal. That's not a headache worth having, Diavolo!
Unfortunately for Mr. McPride, Diavolo thought they were perfect for the program, and he can't refuse an order from the next Demon King, the Prince being.... maybe too happy for his liking...
When they were in the House of Lamentation, he noticed Mc not living their son's side, and was especially aware of Mammon who was shouting saying this was a hassle and that the boy was too strange for him to protect... if they knew Mammon was stupid...
Later on what he was suspecting was confirmed... that wasn't in their human profile, he knew they had a son, let's be honest, but it didn't cross through his head that they had to bring him with them, and most importantly, he was half Angel, what Angel did Mc messed with?
Child well behave, he must admit, perhaps was because of his angelic parent, or because Mc was a really good parent. He never asked and Mc wasn't too fond of sharing information either.
He started to love Mc, so it was obvious he will also start to love their son, who was... a lap dog, just like Luke for Simeon. Baby angel will to follow him, Lucifer's head pats worth a lot 😤 and Lucifer may or may not invite him to sit on his lap while working, even sleep there, this boy is the calmness Satan--- well, cute angel warmth Lucifer's heart, even if he does not admit it.
He started to get worry, what if the Celestial Realm know about this half angel? Also, parent Angel didn't care or know about the consequences of falling in love with a human? Can you imagine having a child with a human? Now he is starting to believe not only their son is powerful, but also Mc, really, how can you make an Angel jeopardized their position for you?
Mammon
Hey! What does it mean he have to take care of two humans???? You know how he was complaining in the first call when Mc told him he was their caretaker? Well, he literally was screaming when Lucifer told forced him to watch two humans.
Mammon: I ain't watching humans for free!
Lucifer: What did you say, Mammon? :)
Mammon: Anything for you, big bro! ♡
Oí, Lucifer, what with this child? Why he have a pure presence? For a moment he begins to think human child were supposed to have that kind of power...
Parent Mc was alert of his every movement, he complained ALL. THE. WAY. BACK. To the House, he never shut up. That attitude last... three days. That boy was too well behaved for him to dislike him! And Mc was kind enough with him. He got attached really quick and was the first one who Mc trust enough let their guard down. His ego was over the moon and he started to use it against his brothers. Plus, this boy never called him dumb or idiot, that's Mammon's boy now, fight for your parent's right, Mc! He is stealing him.
He never suspect a thing until someone else point it out. Wait, do you mean my and Mc's child is not human? Like, completely? Everything started to make senses, that's why he was so.. so... divine? But, who is the angel?? He is curious and jealous, how did an Angel get to know Mc first than him? They audacity 😤😤 at least, they give to Mc a really lovely son. Always smiling for him and giving him homemade gifts. He cried a bit when the son gives him half of his cookie... He denied it, but everyone saw it. Don't worry humans, the Great Mammon is here to protect you!
Leviathan
He wasn't there, he was in his room playing games, not caring for the human he have to live with for the rest of the year. He only realized the human came with a pet when he ran to the front door to claim the money Mammon owed him.
Uhm... was that small version of the big human? Why it clings to the Mc like his life depends on it? Why his aura is SOO familiar? He wasn't prepare for that. Does it mean he have to socialized with no one, BUT TWO? He doesn't know how to talk to children!
He didn't care for them, and ignored both of them until they made a pact. He was lucky Diavolo had the decency to cover the boy's eyes when... you know... his jealousy took the best of him. Just like Mammon, he didn't thought much of it, but it made him think of his animes, those with a long ass name. Not that he mind enough because the child is his third player! Of course, Mc is his player number 2!
Henry and Henry Jr. That's his nickname now. He might be too young to play more complicated games, but don't worry guys, our shut-in have a lot of games, including family friendly. Be careful though... you might need to remind both of them to eat... and force your boy to stop playing... but overall, a really wholesome sight. If that's a beautiful sight, imagine them playing together with a cosplay....
The mini version of Mc is just as kind as them. He was scared at the beginning, fearing their son would hate him for being an otaku (sweety... you almost kill his parent...) but everything went well.
He was jealous because he had another parent besides Mc, can you imagine his surprise when he discovered he was half angel??? How he can win against an Angel??? Your tastes are too high for a worthless otaku like him! He is a demon, a fallen Angel! He needs reassurance, but if that's not your thing or it's not enough, just show him your baby puppy eyes, that's the trick ;)
Now, half Angel or not, Levi love the boy a lot. Do not fear, Mc! You have now Lotan to protect your baby!
Satan
Oh well, that's interesting. Lucifer's expression was enough to make Satan smile. He have to admit... A weak human trying to protect their child, that's cute, not that he cared enough to comment it. Satan is aware from moment 1 that this child can't be 100% human, much like Lucifer, but unlike him, he will not try to protect both of you if he isn't in charge, he will just see how much both of you can survive.
Poor, poor, Mc, they know a fake smile when they see one, and if it were for them, they will avoid their son to have any contact with him, especially since he is a half Angel, and Satan's not even trying to show interest to protect them, they can see his only interest is that their son have a unique presence, that's not helpful at all! I wouldn't trust him if I were Mc either.
Just like the rest of the brothers, when he started to get close to the Mc, same he does with Henry Jr. Both humans are like little kittens for him now. However, he ended up asking Mc if by any chance, their son was half something, he was surprised but not as much as Mammon or Levi, he kept the secret until it was revealed.
Bed stories now for the boy, or whenever he wants, Satan is more than happy to do so. There is nothing better than to share your knowledge and thousands of books with someone who's really interested in them, fortunately for our cat boy, the baby loves it, I mean, what can he expect from someone who came from the Mc? Surely nothing less, just pure kindness and beauty.
The child sometimes try to write stories for Satan, or read, but he struggles a lot, both Mc and Satan are dying out of cuteness while listening to him trying to read the stories his childish brain came up with. Cute? Childish? Cat onesie? Sure! The boy now have pajamas with cat prints in it. And prepare to have a future cat lover with Satan by his side!
He is worry for this child's future, just like the rest, but unlike the others, he was not an Angel nor he participated in the Celestial War. Satan might feel a little insecure because of this, he was never an Angel, and at least his brothers can share personal experiences with Mc and their son, not him. He will not show this side of him. Looking how Henry Jr. look at him and smile knowing he will tell him a story, it's hard to think he will care that Satan was born from Wrath.
Asmodeus
My, my! What a cute human they brought to the Devildom! With a child included! Wait, what?
That wasn't what he expect, they agreed with having just one human, do they have to rearrange everything to be child friendly? Asmo thought it was cute how their son look to everything really scared and holding Mc's clothing with his tiny hands. He did thought it was strange his son presence was slightly different from Mc, which made him a little more interested in their child than in Mc at first.
Lust close to their baby? Asmo! Chu, Chu! Stay away until Mc feels safe knowing you won't corrupt their son! Asmo lose interest very quickly, in 3 days. He was too focused on himself to pay attention to someone who he can't even be close to. He admitted the boy was great for Devilgram pictures but he was glued to Mc's leg, like he himself was a third leg and Mc take him to everywhere too, even the bathroom. That's until they trust Mammon enough to take care of him while they were out. And with Mammon there? Overprotectiveness, the audacity of his scummy brother to not let him hug the cute boy while his parent wasn't there 😔😔
After Asmo and Mc made a pact, it's over 😔 both Mc and the boy are now in Asmo's Devilgram quite often, Henry Jr. the most, you know how many cute outfits and likes a baby can have, Mc??? Please, Mc have to admit their baby looks cute but... why are you dressing him like yourself, HUH?
Mammon hates every time Asmo steals his humans attention...
He was quite surprise when it was confirmed Henry Jr. is half angel. Mc! Information, how can he flirt with an angel????? Don't be selfish Mc!! :(:(:( that information worth millions of Grimm.
He isn't too worry about Mc having a child with an Angel, I mean, look at him, he is perfect. He can show your lovely boy the importance of beauty and how take proper care of himself, even showing how to take great pictures! Children have the tendency to copy what adults do, which that's why it's cute to see Mc's child taking their D.D.D to take pictures together, as parent and son, and proudly showing to Asmo what he can do!
Also, not bad sense of fashion, always will have the best of the best-- even if that means to fight Satan! No! He can't always have cat theme as an everyday outfit! And no! He can't cosplay as a Henry!!
Beelzebub
Can he eat them?
No, really, that was his first thought, even the child, I bet he had eat it everything, his stomach doesn't judge, unless is Solomon's cooking but by that time he didn't know that. He was the main reason why Mc never left their child alone, you can't just say "they look delicious, I don't know if I can hold back my hunger" and not expect me to be wary of my and my son's well-being!
Nevermind what that child is, he is hungry, feed him before he goes crazy.
Humans must stay together... And maybe a little bit more closer to Mammon... Mc didn't trust Beel one bit, from all the brothers, Beel and Satan were the worst for Mc at the beginning. And it was a nightmare when their son being to cry when Beel LITERALLY destroyed the room! Thanks god they bring him with them!!! That wasn't a pleasant night for them, they couldn't sleep because they were scared to death Beel would try to eat boy.
That... didn't last long? Beel is another baby, they will get along very well, especially since Henry Jr. Is just as kind as his parent! He even sometimes gives Beel some of his food, what a baby! Quickly both of them goes to Beel's care, he swore to protect them both. And that's when he started to care and notice more Henry's Jr. Isn't as normal as the thought at first.
The boy sitting on his shoulder while Beel is either eating or walking to the kitchen are a normal occurrence now. Where is the boy now? If he is not with Mammon or Lucifer, probably on Beel's shoulders. They eat together and when the little human is full, he will give the rest to Beel! And you have a really, really happy Beel! Hugs from Beel are the best, your boy disappear. I'm not jealous of the baby, you are!
Mc will receive hugs too... Beel have free hugs! Only for his family and you both are lucky he love you both as a family!♡
Oh wait, Henry Jr. is... an angel? He is really really worry, he have a trauma since the Celestial War, he is scared something will happen to his new family members, you for having a baby with an Angel and your son for being half Angel. You, my Mc, will have to reassure this giant man that you both will be fine, or at least, that you have pact with the most powerful demons in the Devildom. It's not enough, but that determined look on his face tells you that he had promised to himself something.
Belphegor
.... well... this is.... awkward.
When Mc came to the Attic, they came with their son because... yes. And even though Belphie did sense he was weird, just knowing it was another human vermin inside his house, living in the Devildom, was enough to anger him and push that thought behind. Be a child or an adult, a human is a human, he hated them, just like a human could hate a cockroach no matter the size.
He didn't get to know the boy for much because Mc started to come alone, which Belphie assumed was because they trust his brothers enough to let them take care of the infant. And... yes, he was there... When Belphie decided to do that to Mc. Not the first part, because if not, the boy would have had the same fate, but he was there when everyone saw how Belphie tossed them on the floor... And let's be honest, that's a traumatic experience, Mc in the normal universe can forgive all they want Belphie, but this is not only Mc, is also their son, who saw how a demon, someone he knew his parent was trying to help, tossed them on the floor... all broken.
That would be the only time everyone could see the boy boiling with anger and sadness, crying and running to their parents arm once he saw them again without a scratch. He might be young but that's an ugly sight and he have some kind of understanding of that death means.
Ok, Belphie, good luck getting Mc to even let you near the baby, they or any of the brothers. Belphie is really sorry after all the Lilith explanation, but if your child isn't too fond of someone... Mc had all the rights to do the same. Mc starts to fear that their son may suffer the same fate as their other self. It takes... the rest of the year, thanks Belphie, you left the poor angel with an awful memory and your maniac laugh.
But that's only, and only if after forming a pact he can make the child to like him a little bit, he might also make Mc to like him more. Only after a pact, because a pact assure Mc they can stop Belphie. He really, really is sorry for what he did, he knows he deserves the coldness and dislike the angel gives him, but he wants to be friends with both of you, he is trying his best.
And he is so, so scare of Henry Jr's safety, and yours as well, what were you thinking having a child with an Angel??
If the little angel starts to like him, they will be sleeping together with Mc. Mc might wake up at any movement from both boys... you know... precautions.
Their relationship will improve, for now, sleep ☆
Well, it was longer than I expected, and I'm sleepy, it took me 5 hours @×@ I sometimes forget writing is just as hard as drawing
->->->->->♡<-<-<-<-<-
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theastrophilearchitect · 15 days ago
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Recent reads #2.
Hello! ‘Tis the day after the first one of these was posted, but I already have another book to talk about. So, here’s ten books I read recently.
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1. Bridge of Souls by Victoria Schwab (Cassidy Blake #3)
This is book three in Schwab’s Cassidy Blake series, a middle grade series focused on a twelve-year-old girl who recently had a near-death experience, and, ever since, has been able to see ghosts. More than that, her parents have started filming a TV show about haunted places, and Cassidy has to learn to navigate the Veil beyond the world of the living while trying to fend off malevolent spirits.
Book one takes Cassidy to Edinburgh, book two to Paris, and this brings us to New Orleans. It’s just a short, easy read, without complicated subplots or hundreds of pages of build-up. It’s not one of those books where you have to reread the series to understand the sequel, because it gives you a recap, and it’s just great. Great for someone of middle grade age, and great for a reader who just loves Victoria Schwab.
Rating: 4 stars.
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2. The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss (The Kingkiller Chronicles #1)
This book is absolutely enormous, and reads like the longest prequel ever written, despite the fact it’s the first book in a series.
I listened to the audio version of the first book in the Kingkiller Chronicles, and I don’t even know how to blurb it. I liked it, but not enough for a 28-hour audiobook. I liked it, but not enough to listen to its 42-hour sequel. I want more from such a long book.
This book has insanely high ratings and is so raved about, so I gave it until about halfway through before I realised it probably wasn’t going to pick up. But, I’d already invested so many hours in it, I had to get that one extra for my Goodreads goal, which I now realise makes no sense considering it took me an entire month to get to the end of this, in which I can usually read four or five.
It didn’t feel like it followed a typical story structure, and it felt less like a series of plot lines weaved together than a domino effect, which feels to me very much like a prequel. It was well written, with interesting characters and an interesting world, but I expect more from a book so long.
Rating: 3 stars.
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3. Rule of Wolves by Leigh Bardugo (Nikolai Duology #2)
Oh. My. LORD.
This is the second book in the Nikolai Duology in Bardugo’s Grishaverse, and I can barely breathe (speaking of which, Shadow and Bone, out now, on Netflix). Book one, King of Scars, was enjoyable, but not especially exciting, especially as the successor to Crooked Kingdom, speaking of which: I was unaware there was going to be a fourth Six of Crows book. As I was reading this one’s denouement, it definitely felt like Bardugo was setting up at least one more book in this world, another heist, starring my beloved, Kaz Brekker. Nina Zenik, the Crows’ resident Heartrender (ish) has had a perspective throughout this series, but the other Crows (bar Matthias, for obvious reasons) were also in it, and I was trying to figure out the relevance, but I suppose it’s for the next Crows book.
ANYWAY. This was so much more exciting than book one, though there were certain things that felt irrelevant aside from as the set-up of the next book, but it was so entertaining, and I liked how it wrapped up--a note though: I don’t see how Nina could be involved in the next Crows book, but we’ll see.
I just barely even know what to say, except that King of Scars was relatively standard, but this blew it out of the water (not quite Six of Crows level, but I just love the grey morality of that duology).
Also: yay for trans rep.
Rating: 4.75 stars.
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4. Scythe by Neal Shusterman (Arc of a Scythe #1)
I read this a couple years ago, got bored, and finished it as an audiobook. It was pretty standard, but then the last book in the trilogy, The Toll, came out, and I realised just how big this series is, so I wanted to give it another shot.
Scythe is set in a utopian future, in which death has been eliminated and immortality has been reached. The population still increases, but the AI that governs Earth can provide for it. However, people still have to die eventually. Citra and Rowan are taken on as apprentice scythes, the Reapers of the world, the only sources left of death. But one scythe has never had multiple apprentices before, so it is decided only one of them will be ordained, and when they are, they will have to glean the other.
I’m so glad i reread this. Initially, I felt very similarly to how I did the first time round: the characters were flat and unlikeable, and there was too much telling. However, this bothered me less over time, the characters became more interesting, more likeable, and oh my lord the ending. Rowan really reminds me of Julian Blackthorn, except i actually like Rowan. But not Julian. Screw Julian.
I would still argue this book is a little overrated, but this time, I’ll definitely be moving onto the sequel.
Rating: 3.9 stars.
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5. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid
Oh, my Lord. This book is so hyped up, and I wasn’t expecting it to be nearly as good as it was. I didn’t particularly enjoy Monique’s part of the story, but I was so invested in Evelyn’s story, I listened to the whole thing in two days.
This is told in the form of a journalism interview, in which an unknown journalist is invited by Evelyn Hugo, aged Hollywood starlet, to write her biography, to be published upon her death. Evelyn tells the story of having to ignore her heritage and go through seven husbands just to be with the love of her life against the odds of the film industry, and you can’t even imagine how good this book is.
I so rarely cry at books--have never ugly-cried unless it brought up something in my real life--and I have never, ever cried at a standalone, yet here we are.
I don’t want to say anything else, because only an hour into the audiobook, I googled fan art and spoiled myself. So don’t do that, just read.
Rating: 4.9 stars.
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6. Chain of Gold by Cassandra Clare (The Last Hours #1)
My Lord. Honestly, I tried to pick up The Red Scrolls of Magic before this, and though I love Malec, I found I just didn’t care. Also, the font in my copy is different to in every other Shadowhunters book I own, which sucks.
As for Chain of Gold: this is book one in Clare’s fifth Shadowhunters series, set in 1903 and following the children of The Infernal Devices characters as demons begin to appear again in London after a period of silence.
This is absolutely the more hyped of the recent Shadowhunters books, and starting this, I really thought I was going to give up. It’s 590 pages and I’d already read thirteen books in this world (now fourteen), and it reads so much more like a period romance than it does a fantasy book. I didn’t think I’d care, but then I hit the 300 page mark, picked up motivation, and finished it in two days. I don’t think I enjoyed this as much as The Dark Artifices (though I can’t comment on The Infernal Devices, because I read the trilogy two years ago) but it was excellent.
It took me a while to learn who was who, who was related to who (it took me at least 400 pages to figure out whether Thomas or Christopher was the son of Gideon or Gabriel, though I somehow never forgot Anna was Gabriel’s daughter), and all I could think was that Shadowhunters must be incredibly inbred.
TID/TDA spoiler: I knew Tessa was with Will before Jem, but it was still weird seeing her with him, she and Jem having been together throughout TDA.
By page 100, I already wanted James and Cordelia to be together, but part of me was also shipping her with Matthew. Part of me still is, and his conversation with Lucie (I think) at the end my god. Ouch. 
The social norms in this seemed a lot more prevalent and old-fashioned than in TID, but that may just be because I don’t remember TID so well, or because there were just more people about in this one.
This book is 590 pages long, but the climax was done with by page 510. Falling action/denouement is my least favourite part of a book--I know they have to set up the sequel, but I hate it, because it barely feels like it’s building to anything. And eighty pages. 
I remember when Chain of Iron came out, everyone was complaining about Alastair, so I was really expecting him to be evil, but he wasn’t. At least not by the end of this.
I hate Grace so damn much, but this did manage to keep me interested in the world of Shadowhunters. This is probably the most beautiful Shadowhunters cover (sans maybe its sequel) but the spine looks weird on my bookshelf--it doesn’t match the TID or TMI ones, where they form an image, and it doesn’t match the TDA ones.
Rating: 4.4 stars.
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7. The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller
I read Circe a couple years ago, and enjoyed it, but I was just waiting for it to end. Circe was good, but The Song of Achilles was so much more human.
People talk about how sad this book is, and I see why, but it didn’t do it for me. Like I said for Evelyn Hugo, I don’t cry often at books, especially audiobooks, but Evelyn proved it was possible, and this is meant to be such a sad book.
That said, Achilles and Patroclus’s relationship was so cute, and so very, very gay, as you’d expect. 
Anyway, this is essentially a retelling of the life of Achilles, Ancient Greek demigod, told through the eyes of his mortal lover, Patroclus, throughout his training with Chiron, legendary centaur, and into the Trojan War.
I listened to this in a couple days, because it’s not that long, and, needless to say, I can’t wait for Miller’s next novel.
Rating: 4.5 stars.
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8. Thunderhead by Neal Shusterman (Arc of a Scythe #2)
Oh. My. God. Scythe was good. It was incredibly well-written, but it was fairly standard enjoyment-wise. This one, on the other hand... I don’t have words. Mostly I’m still just reeling from the ending.
A couple comments: this book’s protagonist was very much Citra, where book one was more balanced between her and Rowan, and this is basically a sci-fi The Raven Boys. Maggie Stiefvater and Shusterman have very similar writing styles, and I love it.
I really don’t want to say too much--I was unsure where the series would go in this book, and it’s very clear where it’s going next, and I can’t wait to get to it. (Though I am reading the next Last Hours book first.)
Rating: 4.66 stars.
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9. An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green (The Carls #1)
I feel like I open every summary with ‘oh my god’, but here’s the thing: I’ve been having such a good reading year, and I also just don’t finish books I don’t enjoy. I DNF them, I don’t rate them, and I leave them be.
I started following Hank Green on TikTok last year, then I started watching vlogbrothers on YouTube, and figured I ought to read their books, see what their writing’s like. I haven’t got to one of John’s books yet, but I did get to this. This and its sequel are Hank Green’s only original novels (though I’m sure there’ll be more) and I’m so, so glad I read this. (I’m also so glad I enjoyed it, because I would hate to watch today’s vlogbrothers video having hated this)
An Absolutely Remarkable Thing takes place as April May (yes, that’s her name. It’s weirdly adorable) and her friend come across an enormous statue in New York City, and, assuming it’s some art installation, they make a video about it. Then they find out their video blew up as sixty-four of these statues appeared in cities across Earth out of nowhere.
That’s it. That’s all you need to know. Go read it.
The audiobook was excellent, and I think it was a really great format for this story. The last chapter is from somebody else’s perspective, and we’re treated to the beautiful voice of Hank Green.
Rating: 4.8 stars.
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10. Turtles All the Way Down by John Green
I think it’s becoming clear I get through a lot more audiobooks than I do physical ones, which is partly because I just have more time for them, and partly because the books I listen to are generally shorter than the ones I read. Also, I’ve been reading a bit of manga recently, which I don’t want to talk about until I finish the series (but I will. I may even write a whole post about it).
Turtles All the Way Down follows Aza Holmes as she and her best friend investigate the disappearance of a billionaire whose son she used to know, but the story isn’t about that. It’s about Aza’s anxiety, and it’s a really beautiful insight.
I’ve struggled with anxiety myself, but never to an extent like Aza, which I believe is based on John Green’s experiences. Books like this are so important for representation, so people suffering similarly don’t feel like they’re going crazy.
I’ve actually owned a tote bag for this book for a couple years--I got a free one from the bookstore when it came out, and I’m so glad I can now say I actually liked the book on my tote bag.
Rating: 4 stars.
And that wraps up this Recent Reads.
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gregoryoliverdaniels · 16 days ago
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Update: Birthday Woes
Oh shit, my depression has kept me from making another quick update!
So quick update:
Milo is still sick and not improving. Gonna set up an appointment for next month (I'm broke)
He has thrown up more than he ever has in the duration of a month. HIs hacking has been more or less awful.
So, because of me getting discharged from CHR and not being able to see a psychiatrist until June 1st, I'm basically without my most important meds...
No one can help me until next month.
So this past week I've been:
Super depressed and having little to no energy, I have to force myself to sleep or get out of bed and do chores and I can only do one chore per day.
My social battery has been drained and any type of social interaction regardless of how long it is with whomever and however many people leaves me extremely exhausted afterward.
This whole month has been just horse shit for me in general since it's another anniversary month.*
*So anniversaries, holidays, etc are when my mental state is even MORE unstable for me than normal and generally God likes to torment me even more during these times so I am more miserable and wanting to kill myself more than normal.
So, I kinda expected this since it's ya know... My birthday month that I really hate more than ANY other holiday or anniversary.
Like I'd rather deal with 100 death anniversaries of my pets/dad/best friend, etc than have to deal with my birthday.
Like, I legit hate my birthday to an obsessive extreme.
I legit prayed this month to get cancer for my birthday this month. I'm praying even now that I die on my birthday.
I hate that date more than anything in the universe. Minus my deep-seated hatred for God, etc...
I'm supposed to go to my sister's this weekend to help celebrate my stupid birthday since I think since I turned 21, I never was able to actually celebrate it with other people. Hell, back when I was a kid I never had friends at my birthday parties.
I am literally the most disliked human on the planet. Especially back in my childhood.
So not only as an antinatalist, a mentally unstable loser who should just do everyone a favor and get shot to death by police, an unlovable cunt who suffers every single day thanks to a psychopathic deity, etc... I never really ever had a reason to actually want to celebrate my birthday outside of presents. Since presents aren't really an adult thing (my parents are also dead and I have no family really) I just have no reason to ever really celebrate it.
I mean, I have told a ton of people how I pray for time travel.
I would literally go back in time to Colombia, find my infant self, get a huge rock, and bash my infant's self head in repeatedly until it's just a puddle. Taking all those miserable years out on that moron's skull and erasing my existence is all I ever dreamed about in life.
I hate being alive. There is literally NOTHING to gain from it. Hell, I would literally trade my soul and every single thing in my life that I hold close to my dead heart to erase my existence. WITHOUT HESITATION!!!
I legitimately HATE life to a passion of 1000 burning suns.
Funny enough, every single birthday cake with candles I blew out, I always wished to be dead.
I am pretty convinced that I'm immortal at this point because of how shitty things are for me.
Like nothing ever goes right for me. I mean, I'm alive which is an overkill amount of proof enough to show that God hates me and why I hate being alive.
I would literally do anything to erase my existence.
So yeah this is me even without missing the main medications that I can't do jack shit about.
I know this weekend is going to suck because I know how God operates. I'll probably come home finding out that Milo passed away or some shit. Sigh...
On the bright side, tomorrow is the last day of my 2 weeks after my second covid shot.
I'm so miserable right now.
I'm also considering that next month to forge a Living Will. I want to make sure that if I ever fell into a coma that they pull the plug on me. Honestly, I dream about being in a coma and dying in my sleep every night.
I hate being alive. There is literally nothing anyone can convince me about being alive that I should appreciate.
You might argue Milo. But that's the only real reason I am still here for. After he passes, I really don't know how worse my mental instability will get. Same with my aunt.
Ever since I saw that movie "K-Pax" or w/e with that sexual predator guy Kevin Spacey I kinda figured that's how I'll spend the rest of my life as an adult.
Spoilers: Comatose after a severe traumatic breaking point.
I know deep down I'll be put into a mental asylum someday... losing everything I so desperately kept after losing everything after my dad died... All those memories will be wasted.
I know no one is going to take care of me when I'm old... The main reason I stressed so hard for a wife was for someone to give my treasures to after I become too senile or have alzheimer's or dementia. I gave up on that though... I'm literally the most awful human trash in existence and incapable of being loved or loving others. I think diarrhea is better than me in every single way possible.
So yeah... not doing well and I know nothing will ever get better because even when I was positive for that short duration, everything got worse almost immediately.
I don't mind dying alone. I've always died alone...
Fun Fact to end this off with: 33 was the age that Jesus died. So, that gives me hope this Sunday. 📷
Anyways, that's the update.
And no, there is LITERALLY nothing I can do about my med situation. Trust me, I tried everything and it's too late at this point.
I'll just be really fucked up for a very long time.
I guess for all of you but not for me, I'm not suicidal. But eh... The one thing people don't really understand is that if someone has nothing to offer the world and really has nothing to gain from being alive and is constantly in pain and suffering needlessly and has no hope or faith and is helpless and has no future that benefits themselves or anyone, they're better off dead. Just saying.
Like, I think there should be suicide booths everywhere. Slims down the population (overpopulation is a huge issue) and honestly, if your pet is in extreme agony and has no quality of life, you put them down, right?
Why not me?
At one point I wanted to go to Washington DC I think it was? To sign up for a suicide aid thing. But I'm too poor and lazy so meh
But idk, I won't miss anyone when I'm dead. Only issue is Milo, so I might do this after Milo and my aunt die. I really couldn't care less otherwise. Sorry, I know that sounds fucked up and harsh as hell, but one thing about me is that I'm very much in pain and my pain being removed is more important than how I feel about anything else.
Put yourself in my shoes.
If every day you suffered to the point of becoming mentally insane, you will want an escape too, right?
Yeah. Also, taking meds, going to therapy, seeing a psychiatrist, etc is kinda like a placebo for treating a flesh-eating virus that has infected your entire body.
So, anyways, that's all. 📷
I'm not going to kill myself btw. I just am in a lot of serious pain right now and am expressing that I hate existence. I don't think anyone hates existence more than I do.
I could bet money on that (which I never do) because I'm pretty sure I'm the only miserable person in existence.
Like, don't get me wrong. People suffer a lot and are miserable sometimes. But not as often as I am. I don't think anyone complains at the rate that I do about being alive.
Like everyone either hides it well but as always successful and live amazing lives, etc... I don't think anyone has ever really suffered and just didn't get over it. Unless they liked died from natural causes or something.
Not many die from other things. Or at least that's how people treat me whenever I talk like this.
(this was sarcasm btw, I'm fully aware of suicides and drug overdoses)
But honestly, I consider them lucky because they're at peace and no longer in pain. Whereas I'm never going to die or find peace and I'm never going to stop being lonely and in pure agony suffering every day with literally everything going wrong.
It's like, for example:
You need to get eggs from the store. You get dressed, drive, get the eggs, go home. Easy right?
But for me? Jesus lord fuck no. It's like a million steps per step where every fucking thing goes absolutely wrong and blows up in my face and every single choice and decision I make backfires horrendously in my face, and then I get home and the eggs are rotten and cracked.
Literally, every single simple task in my life is impossible.
I'm like modern-day Job mixed with Hercules. Not the Disney one but the actual story where his mom torments him until he kills his family and then I think he commits suicide.
Like my life is literally a greek tragedy. Does that mean people have it worse than me? I mean, they eventually become successful and happy so.. eh... I mean, they're better than me so yeah I do suffer more than anyone else. Mentally and psychologically. Event-wise? No.
Okay, I'm done venting. bye.
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kei-dee · 17 days ago
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Too Late.
Pairing: Oikawa Tooru X Gn!Reader
Word count: 2.2K
A/n: I slept with violence on my mind. The characters are always aged up. I haven't read the manga so I'll be working with the little manga spoilers that I have, i.e,
TINY MANGA SPOILER ALERT!!
Oikawa became a proffesional volleyball player after highschool. And everyone is aged up, you both live together. And please tell me if you cried <3 Love you besties :D
I'm never writing angst while I'm sleep deprived- the end doesn't even make sense SGBGFDSGUI
Requests are open! Feel free to send them in!
Type: Angst, HURT/HURT?
Warning: Hinting towards past abuse (only if you squint real real hard tho), swearing, oikawa looks like a dick (he's not, don't attack me)
"I can't do this Tohru, not anymore." A tired sigh leaving your lips.
It was late at night, you and Oikawa had been at it for an hour now. Both of your throats hurting by the screaming that has been going on.
"You're right." Oikawa sighs and runs a hand through his hair, "Let's just go to sleep, I'm tired as it is. We can talk about it tomorrow."
His body has been aching since he came home from his match and all he wanted was to be smothered by you and go to sleep. But now, his throat hurt too because apparently, your thoughts were not on the same wavelength as him.
He walked up to where you were standing, arms stretching out so he could hug you but your next whispered words stopped him mid-track.
"No." Your eyes were stinging with the tears about to be spilled but you blinked them back, "I mean us. I can't do this anymore."
Your heart was clenching with every word that slipped out of your mouth.
It hurt.
Everything did.
"Wha-" Suddenly the ache in his limbs evaporated as your words registered with him and he quickly closed the distance between you. He gripped your shoulders tightly but softly turned you towards him,
"Hey.. hey, look at me. You don't mean that, baby-"
You knew what he was trying to do. Panic was evident in his voice but he was trying to mask it for you. He thought you were having one of your breakdowns and wanted to ground you down with his grip. Otherwise, he never would've gripped you so hard.
You knew all that but why did it feel so condescending?
You didn't look him in the eye, you couldn't. Breath was coming short and ragged. If you looked at him, the tears you were holding in would only spill out and you wouldn't be able to talk, you never were able to.
Having him so close, being so tender with you was only weakening your will. So you did what you thought to be the best, you brushed away his hands and looked away, trying to get your breathing back to normal.
Oikawa heard his heart breaking. He didn't tighten his grip and let you go instead. You broke away from his grip which confirmed his doubts. You weren't having a breakdown, you were very much aware of your surroundings and yourself.
"Y/n? What is going on?" Oikawa's panic was obvious now, "What do you mean you're tired of us?"
His hands were shaking. He wanted to hold you in his arms but he kept them fixed at his side. He didn't want to overwhelm you with his presence, wanting to respect your decision and afraid that it would only worsen the situation.
"I can't Oikawa, I'm-" You took a shaky breath in, "- I'm tired of always being the second one. While I've done nothing but make you my number one priority."
You put some distance between both of you to compose yourself. Oikawa, on the other hand, felt like every step you took away, was a step away from him, from your relationship.
Despite him feeling that, he knew you just needed space. You always did. And it always helped de-escalate the situation, always ending with him in your arms, reassuring him everything is fine.
He knew but why did it feel so concluding?
Fear itched its way into his body. He was afraid to let you go. He wasn't ready, never will be.
He was annoyed at the fight that took place in the first place. Annoyed at the reason for the fight. As he remembered why you were fighting in the first place, his fear turned into irritation. He was no longer worried about you leaving him because obviously, you wouldn't break up over this. You were more mature than that.
"Is it because of the fangirls? Y/n, Jesus Christ-" He couldn't help but let his frustration drip into his words. "-Is that what this is?"
You had composed yourself enough to look at him but as soon as he uttered those words, your eyes widened. The back of your throat was throbbing with the labour of you screaming and controlling your crying.
A tear finally slipped down your cheek.
It was Oikawa's turn to widen his eyes.
You never cried in front of him- well, there were times you cried because of how cute that one cat looked but, you had never cried because of him.
"You.. you think I'm doing all this because of the girls?" You couldn't help but let out a choked sob, which made you aware of the tears rolling down your cheeks.
You quickly wiped your cheeks, not wanting to cry in front of him. A hazardous habit you had from your childhood. You had sworn to yourself to not let anyone see you cry, and he wasn't an exception. Especially him.
"Yes, y/n! Because first, you weren't there to congratulate me when we won the game. And I know you came to the match, I saw you!" Oikawa's voice was slowly rising, "And I was expecting at least a congratulatory hug when I reached home cuz maybe you weren't there because something came up! But NO! The second I step foot in the house, I could literally feel the mood drop!"
He took a haggard breath in and was going to continue but you could feel your emotions spill over. It was your turn to scream,
"Okay fine! I did come home because of you shamelessly flirting with those girls! And now you're telling me you knew I was there the whole time?!" Tears were spilling down your cheeks but you didn't care anymore, tired of always hiding how he hurt you to not burden him.
"Y/n, it's called fan service. Please don't act ridicu-"
"No! Too much is too much! Flirting! Shameless flirting and fanservice, there is a huge fucking difference, Tohru!" You shrieked, flailing your arms around, hoping it would get your words across.
"Are you a fucking sadist or something?? You knew I was there yet you still-" You took in a shaky breath, shut your eyes and took a minute to stabilize your voice.
Oikawa took that opportunity, silence too much for him to take,
"Where is this even coming from y/n? Do you not trust me or are you that insecu-?"
"Excuse me?"
Oikawa knew he took it way too far with that one.
He saw fury build up in your eyes like he never had before. His subdued fear of you leaving him ignited back up again. His whole body broke into a cold sweat at the daggers you were shooting at him through your teary eyes.
Tears caused by him.
You were done. Done with thinking about not hurting his feelings. Done with him.
You were digging your nails into the palm of your hands as you clenched them. You focused all your attention on the pain in your palm instead of the one in your heart.
"Y/n- I didn't mean that-" He stammered, "Baby, I swear it was-"
He was shocked by the way you quickly closed the distance between both of you. You usually put a distance between both of you when you argued so things didn't get physical or more intense than it needs to be. You jabbed your finger in his chest and he wrapped his fingers around your wrist,
"Well if somehow I've made you think that, then let's get one thing fucking clear. I am not insecure, baby." His grip on your hand loosened. Oikawa had never even thought a word you used to say with such adoration could be used so spitefully.
"Baby-" Oikawa's throat was closing up, eyes widened and panic swirling in those brown irises you always found so beautiful.
But you continued, tired of the way you had been shutting your emotions away all the time for his sake.
"I'm not finished." You dug your nails even harder to prevent your emotions from interfering with you talking to him. "If we're doing this, I might as well let the cat out of the fucking bag, Oikawa."
No no no.
Oikawa's eyes were watering at your choice of words. You called him by his first name not his last.
Your heart was pounding in your ears, throat scratchy, eyes stinging but you weren't done. There was no going back now.
"I've never been insecure about myself. And it's not that I didn't trust you. I just didn't want you to fucking feel less. Do you have any idea how hard it was to sit beside you, hearing you always complain and reassure you, all the fucking time? How damaging it was for me to always fan your ego?! Just so you didn't feel bad about yourself?!"
Oikawa's mouth gaped at the intensity in your words. His body felt tired, his chest hurting because of the finger you had jabbed in his chest- no, it was something else. His heart. He was finding it hard to breathe, he felt as if his ribcage was collapsing into his lungs.
"All the times we played Mario Cart late into the night because you didn't win?? All the times I praised you at the expense of my own fucking self?? All the times I held your hand for support which you never reciprocated because you didn't even know??" Your breath was shaky, the connection with your surrounding getting blurry,
"All because I loved you.. reassurance goes both ways.. not just one way, Tohru." You finally let the tears slip down, eyes receiving that bittersweet sting, as everything sank in.
"Why didn't you ever say anything?" Oikawa whispered hoarsely, depicting his tiredness yet he never let go of his grip on your wrist.
Oikawa was not blaming you, he was blaming himself. The tears in your eyes because of him, which were not for the first time. He was just too selfish to notice.
His brain brought up images of you crying into your pillow, muffling your sobs because you didn't want him to worry. How you must've had to live with your thoughts by yourself while he was away on games. How you always cheered and smiled for him even if you could've been in a desperate state.
He knew how you weren't one to openly talk about your own problems. He should've pestered you more when you said you were fine when you clearly were not.
If only he had risked upsetting you then, maybe it wouldn't have come to this, this broken version of you. He hated everyone who caused you to be so broken and scared of voicing out your needs.
Now, he was one of them.
He let go of his grip on your wrist but pulled you forward towards himself, arms wrapping around you.
You didn't fight it because your body was too tired. Just relaxing in his arms, soaking up the feeling as much as you can.
Because you knew you will never experience this again.
"Sshh it's okay, baby.. I'm here now.." Oikawa whispered into your hair, placing a kiss there, and ran his hand through your hair.
"Too late.." You whispered back into his hoodie, "It's too late, Tohru."
You finally broke down into tears, bawling, as you heard your own words, hands flying up to hug him back and squeezed him.
Oikawa couldn't believe his ears and just shook his head, a new stream of tears running down his cheek.
"No- I am so sorry, Y/n- Please-" He let out a sob as he hugged you closer and buried his face in your neck, "Please don't give up on me. I love you. So so much-"
He was stuck in a loop of I'm sorry's; I love you, please don't go; I'll do better, baby please's.
"It's too late Tohru. I can't. I'm sorry." You took a deep breath and tried to entangle yourself from his hold, "Tohru let me go, please.. don't make it harder than it already is.."
He only tightened his grip on you, "Please don't say it's too late. It's not, I know I can do better. I will, I promise."
Desperation was dripping from his voice now. If it wasn't obvious before, it was obvious now.
Your breath staggered and so did your will, but you did not want to go through this again. You weren't sure you could handle it.
"Let me go, please." You pushed yourself away from him, wrapping your arms around yourself to make up for the lack of warmth.
Oikawa's eyes stung, nose burned with every breath he took and he could feel your warmth fading away from where you were hugging him.
"Baby, just please go to sleep, it's late." He wiped his face with his sleeve and his shoulders drooped, mustering a small smile he mumbled "I won't overstep my boundaries. I promised you I'll support you through everything. Even if you want to leave, I- I will not stop you. Whatever decision you come to in the morning, I will not say anything against it."
"But know this, Y/n," He cupped your face and lifted your face, making eye contact with you, "I've loved you. For a long time. And I don't intend on stopping. Ever."
He kissed your forehead, his lips lingering there for a little longer in case this was the last time he ever got to kiss you.
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j0succ · 17 days ago
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many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn
Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity
ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!! 
Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making
i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!
Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.
ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn
Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.
gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;
Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕
honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3. 
Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?
hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3
Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.
i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest. 
Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday
dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof. 
Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.
extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!! 
Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!
ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!
Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~
Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)
Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.
hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’. 
i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring. 
anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3 
Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!
thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3
Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.
this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3 
Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u
ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.
Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)
i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3 
Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.
honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3 
Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3
honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3
Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!
honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_; 
Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖
ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3
Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!
to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(. 
Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!
anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess! 
Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!
wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that. 
Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end
HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!). 
Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.
ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3
Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!
i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3 
Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon
i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3 
Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️
anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3
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radramblog · 17 days ago
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Some vague concern regarding Modern Horizons 2
We’re getting into the thick of the spoilers for Magic’s next Premier, Big Brains Only set, Modern Horizons 2. Which feels almost too cramped, since the set drops in like two weeks, and presumably the full spoiler will be out by the pre-prerelease, which is..a week away or so? I can’t be arsed looking it up.
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(love this art tho)
Considering the absolute flood of releases recently, and how dramatic the impact of the first Horizons set was on just about every format in the game, I’m a little concerned about what this set is going to do to the game. The time since last format-warping card is approximately 6 months- and to be fair, that format was pauper, but the window seems to be shortening every time.
I guess what we need to do is start with an examination of Modern Horizons 1.
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Released in 2019, the first Modern Horizons was a set built from the ground up to be relevant in eternal formats, have an excellent draft environment, and add loads of value for casual formats like Commander and Cube. And, for the most part, I think it succeeded. While a few cards (Wrenn & Six, Astrolabe, Hogaak) definitely overshot the mark, a huge number have been generally adopted into various competitive strategies in various formats- Ephemerate is a staple roleplayer in flicker decks, Seasoned Pyromancer has kept Red relevant in tempo, Prismatic Vista is the 11th Fetchland no-one knew we needed. The power in the set is extremely well-spread, with the majority of cards radiating power.
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The set also had immense appeal for more casual players, as even the commons and uncommons had unique and spicy effects. Drafting it is like a Masters set draft mixed with time spiral, a high-power environment making high-power decks and all sorts of interesting mechanics mixed together. The set truly does feel like Time Spiral 2. The various cards in the set helped bump up fan-favourite tribes such as Slivers, Ninjas, and Bears, as well as the numerous Changelings making them all sorts of shenanigans more viable.
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The set just looks gorgeous as well? It was the first to use the Art cards that would later be used in all the Set Boosters, but this was a great opportunity to try it out, with some of the most divine art collections in any set for the past few years. Adding in all the references to older cards and characters, and non-competitive but enfranchised players like myself are going to be hooked.
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What makes me love MH1 so much, I think, is that if you just read the cards, it’s clear that the designers were trying to make every card stand out, by just going “what if” for every single one. What if our typical 3/1 for 1W was a Changeling. What if we did Mother of Runes again, but make her playable without being broken? What if our Convoke creature paid you off for convoking it? What if we made Chained to the Rocks actually good? These are all White cards, but that’s just because they’re what show up first on the list.
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So where does that leave us with the sequel? I have some pretty mixed feelings so far- on the one hand, the power is clearly there, the art is on point, but some of this feels like either a mistake or at least a misstep. Where MH1 was Time Spiral, I’m getting the feeling that MH2 is Planar Chaos- and I’m not just saying that because Storm is in Green now apparently.
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What we’ve seen so far is pretty clearly (to me, at least) an escalation of what MH1 was- where that set seemed largely to be experimenting with what they could do within the rules of the game, this set appears to be trying to find new ways to bend those rules *just a little bit* while still remaining somewhat inbounds. Carth puts the Loyalty Cost icon somewhere outside a Planeswalker for the first time ever, and the wording on his ability is somewhat confusing. Grist, the Hunger Tide, has one of the most interesting and potentially abusable lines of text I’ve seen in a while, and Garth One-Eye- I mean he speaks for himself. The effects on some of these cards feels reminiscent of the MYB Playtest cards- especially Garth- and while some of those were successfully integrated into the game, there’s a limit to how much of that silliness is healthy for the game.
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And if Garth reads like a Playtest card, the new showcase cards look like them. I actually really like how these look, but they come attached to one of the sets biggest problems, and one that’s kind of emblematic of MTG design for the past couple years since MH1- Complexity and Collectability Creep.
Modern Horizons 1 has 254 cards in boosters, that you can get either non-foil or foil if you’re lucky. Each pack has 10 commons (or 9 commons and one foil of any rarity), 3 uncommons, one full-art Snow Basic, one rare or mythic, and either a Token or an Art card. There are two cards with special promos- Flusterstorm, the Buy-A-Box, and Astral Drift, the prerelease promo. You can buy it either in a booster packs or in booster boxes. Relatively simple.
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For Modern Horizons 2, WoTC needed two separate articles to explain the various packs and promos, and people are still confused (to be fair fuck reading all that). There are 4 different special frames, and it’s incredibly unclear if they’ll be available in foil, or some even in nonfoil, or how you get each one, and apparently Etched foils are back again? What the actual fuck is going on here? Now, this is arguably not that huge a step up considering Strixhaven and its Mystical Archive, but it feels dwarfing compared to the last MH1. I liked the idea of Project Booster Fun at its outset, but at this point I think it’s clear that it’s gone too far.
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(that’s gotta be the most ironic card/art pairing in a while...)
And my biggest concern with MH2 is this. It isn’t that the set will be bad (though based on these current spoilers, if you don’t like Squirrels, you’re SOL), because the set designers know what they’re doing, much as magic players love to complain that they don’t. It’s the precedent the sheer complexity of the collection is setting, I guess. I do think it’s too early to tell whether the set is clearly a mistake or it’s going to be great with some rough patches, but don’t get me wrong- I’m pretty sure this is a polarizer.
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Fuck me it does have a Frog Samurai in it though, 10/10
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chifuyusprincess · 19 days ago
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chifuyu matsuno x reader
; where takemitchy takes his friend out for his birthday and his present? you.
cw: light spoilers, fingering, riding, mentions of choking, no condom, overstimulation, he calls you princess/slut, unedited writing. 
note: i'm finally reading the tokyo revengers manga and ngl, it was a total rollercoaster while reading it. also, chifuyu’s in his present time (the pic below 😫 *simp screams*) 
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“HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHIFUYU!”
Takemitchy exclaimed, engulfing his old friend in a tight hug.
The ebony black haired male smiled, thanking him as he hugged back. It’s been a while since he last hang with him. Having their schedule busy with meetings and such, they couldn’t find the right time to catch up on things. Sure, they see each other everyday but spending the rest of the day with an old friend without worrying about work just hits different. At least that’s what Chifuyu thought.
“Shall we go have dinner then go see your present?” the blonde asked with a smile. Chifuyu nodded in response, shutting the car door behind him as Takemitchy speeds off into the horizon.
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“Thanks for the dinner, man,” the birthday boy said, smiling at his friend in the drivers seat. “No problem! And now! It’s time for your present!” Takemitchy exclaimed. His voice filled with anticipation. He looks more excited than Chifuyu himself.
“Alrighty, we’re here!” he said, parking the car in front of a fancy looking complex. “Are we in Shibuya?” the black haired male asked, facing the building in awe. Takemitchy only nodded as he skipped into the building, making Chifuyu ran up to catch him.
The elevator stopped at level 4. As the two adults stepped out from the lift, Chifuyu’s jaw nearly dropped at what he saw. Right outside the elevator was a counter, handled by a middle-aged man, who was occupied with a women- who was dressed in a very thin silk dress. The male's eyes wondered around the boards beside the counter. They were filled with pictures of- lewd photos. Chifuyu cocked an eyebrow at this. What even-
"Looks like this place hasn't change one bit," Takemitchy said with hands on his hips, a proud and nostalgic look displayed in his eyes. “Oh, Takemitchy, right? Here for your reservation?” the man behind the counter asked. Blondie nodded furiously. Why is he so excited? Chifuyu raised an eyebrow at his friend. “Actually, I’m just here because I made the reservation, the one who’ll be doing the job is Chifuyu,” Takemitchy said proudly, pushing his friend towards the counter.
Chifuyu swallowed hard. Is this place what he thinks it is? "Alright, sign here and please proceed to the waiting room," the man said, handing a form to Takemitchy. Chifuyu tugged his shirt and pulled his friend aside. "Oi, what're- what am I suppose to do?" he asked, sounding nervous. "You're a 26 year old virgin, I'm helping you out!" Takemitchy explained while signing the form and handing it back to man behind the counter. Chifuyu mentally face palmed himself. This was definitely not how he imagined getting his virginity loss. Especially not with some random girl at a brothel.
"Wait! This is not how I-,"
"You may now go to the waiting hall, gentlemen," the man said, pointing to a room not far from the lift. Takemitchy thanked him and head towards the room without wasting any minute. Chifuyu walked after him, deadpanned at his friend's excited behaviour. "Look, I appreciate the effort but-" "Chifuyu, meet my friend, y/n!" the blonde said, holding hands with a girl in front of him.
The black haired man stared down at the girl. She was gorgeous. Is he lying? Of course not. His eyes trailed down to your body, scanning every inch of your curves. You laughed as he snapped back into reality. "Can't wait to do the dirty, are we?" You teased, pulling him towards you by his tie. Chifuyu's cheeks heated up as you brought your face close to his. “Aww, Takemitchy, you didn’t tell me he was a shy one,” you exclaimed, turning your head to face your blonde friend. “Eh? Chifuyu? Shy? Please, he’s one of Toman’s Top Admin, why would he be shy now?” Takemitchy laughed, making the said boy’s cheeks even hotter. You faced the man in front of you again. Now it was your turn to blush. The faint smell of his cologne filled your nostrils. His skin was fairly smooth. His eyes, oh how you got lost staring into his light blue orbs. Those orbs were just so mesmerizing that you didn’t notice that he was also actually staring into yours. Takemitchy gave off a small chuckle, making both of you snap back into reality.
“Sorry about that,” you said slowly, eyes glued to the floor, not wanting to let this Chifuyu guy to see your red tinted cheeks. Funny how this was actually your first time experiencing a quickened heartbeat for a customer. You slowly jerked your head up to look at the male. Chifuyu took a quick glance at you, making your eyes meet again once more. He rubbed the back of his neck, not sure of what to say. “Ay yow! I’m not here to just sit and see y’all being all gushy and wasting my money,” Takemitchy complained in a jokingly way. You shot your head up as if you had escaped from a trance. “Alright, Chifuyu! Let’s get going, shall we?” your playful smirk crawling back to your lips, grabbing both of his hands and lead him to another room, leaving Takemitchy alone with his earbuds plugged in.
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Chifuyu scrubbed his body under the hot steaming water. One second she was like a teenage girl staring at her very new boyfriend then suddenly she became a playful flirt again, he sighed in thought. He was sure that he could here her heart beating rapidly as if it was about to burst out from her chest.
And yet, here he was, taking a shower before losing his 25 years of being a virgin to a girl he doesn’t even know, let alone have met before. Sounds kinda messed up to be honest, he chuckled at his joke. After slipping on his undergarments and a robe, he exited the bathroom while wiping his damped hair. “Look, I know you’re only doing your job but-” he got cut off, eyes widened at your figure who was slowly taking off your dress, revealing a see through lingerie. Being the kind (and nervous as fuck) gentleman, he immediately looked away, blood rushing to his cheeks and a slight pain growing in his boxers.
You walked up to him and slowly pushed him onto the bed with a light touch of your finger. Chifuyu’s breath hitched as you placed your legs at his sides. You dragged a finger along his jaw to his chin, tilting it upwards, making his eyes stare into yours. The both of you stayed there in silence, listening to each others quicken heartbeats. Your cheeks were tinted red, it was noticeable to Chifuyu. His eyes flickered to your lips then to your eyes. You gulped nervously. On the inside, you were practically cursing to yourself, telling you to get a grip and just treat him like your usual customers. You closed your eyes, wishing that this was just a dream or hoping that the man in front of you isn’t that Chifuyu guy but another customer.
Your eyes fluttered open, only to find that he was leaning into your touch. Fuck it, you thought as you slammed your lips into his. Surprisingly, he too, kissed you back. You slowly wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to your body. Chifuyu placed his hands on your waist and soon, his hands grabbed your thighs and wrapped them around his waist. The kiss then became sloppy as he bit the bottom of your lip gently, gaining access to explore your mouth.
You finally let go in desperate need of air. Chest huffing up and down whilst your sweaty forehead leaned against his. Your cheeks were definitely red now and same as his. "It's okay if you don't want to do it," you said nervously, looking down at- shit. Your eyes widened at the tent in his undergarment. All that kissing made him hard? Your cheeks flushed even more now. Chifuyu noticed this and looked down. Shit, shit, shit, shit, he cursed to himself. "Uhm," he laughed in a nervous and unsure tone. For the first time in your life, you're being this flustered and nervous. There was definitely something wrong with this guy, you concluded as you looked at Chifuyu who was fumbling with the ropes of his robe.
"Uh, I'll take care of this myself," he said, pushing you off his lap. You quickly grabbed his wrist, stopping him in his tracks. "I know you don't want your first time to be with a, um, a p-prostitute like me, but let me help you with that, plus you don't wanna let Takemitchy's money go to waste, don't you?" you explained. You avoid looking at him, cheeks still tinted red with embarrassment. With a light tug from your hand, Chifuyu went back to the bed.
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"F-fuck, that's it," the male sighed, hands gripped onto your sides as you rode him. Screams can be heard from you as you slammed yourself onto his cock. It was tiring, really. Getting your pelvis to hit his everytime was a pain. "Fuyu, I can't," you gasped as his tip hit your cervix. "Now now, princess, you were the one who was all over me in the first place," he said, pulling you by the neck, slightly choking you whislt making your foreheads touch. You flinched at his sudden demeanor. Where did the shy and nervous Chifuyu go? 
You can't do it anymore. You toppled on top of him, gasping for air. Chifuyu found this amusing. "Is my wittle princess tired?" he asked in a playful tone while stroking your hair lovingly. You nodded in response, too exhausted from riding and cumming for the third time. You feel like you were about to pass out when he suddenly flipped you over. "Ass up, face down for me, princess," he whispered. You wouldn't be lying if you say his tone of voice turned you on.
You obeyed his words. Chifuyu groped at your ass, feeling the soft flesh against his warm skin. You squirmed under his touch, wanting him to desperately put his dick back inside of you. "Chifuyu, please, ah!" You yelped at the sudden contact. He inserted a finger into your wet entrance, pumping them slowly. Enjoying the pleasure his finger's giving, you didn't realize that your hips started to rock against his hand, following the pace of his digit.
"Stay still, you slut," he snapped as he slapped your ass making you moaned in both pain and pleasure. Chifuyu's free hand grabbed your hip to lock you in place. He stopped penetrating your cunt with his finger and pumped his cock, which was already leaking with precum. You winced at the pain as he inserted his cock inside you. The blacked haired male didn't move, he let you readjust to his size and once he got the signal, he slammed his his against your ass, making you screamed.
Tears slowly streaming down your eyes as your knuckles turned white from gripping the sheets too hard. Takemitchy said this will be his first time but the way he thrusts-
"Why are are you crying? Don't you like this?" He sounded sadistic and that nearly made you cum on the spot. "Chifuyu, I'm about to cu-," he grabbed a fistful of your hair, making your back hit his chest. "Hold it, hold it in for me, princess," he whispered into your ear. His voice, oh my god, his voice literally nearly made you burst. But you did hold it in for him. At this point, you’d do anything for him. 
His thrusts never slowed down. His hand gripping at your waist guided your body, matching his thrusting rhythm. "Chifuyu, please, I can't hold it anymore," you panted. He grabbed your face and kissed you roughly. Tongue swirling, fighting for dominance. His lips trailed down to your jaw then to your neck, sucking and biting, leaving dark purple blue marks. His thrusts began to slow down, signaling that he was close too. “Shit, come for me, princess,” he whispered into you ear and this time you finally came whilst feeling his cum dripping down your thighs. 
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Chifuyu sat up from the bed. He smiled softly at the girl sleeping peacefully beside him. He checked his phone and saw a message from Takemitchy. 
Seems like you’re enjoying yourself, Chifuyu! I’ll be going home now. Hope you like the present! 
- Takemitchy
The ebony black haired male smiled at his friend’s message. He turned to face the girl again. She stirred in her sleep, her feet lightly kicking his waist. He chuckled at her sleepy behavior. Their first encounter was weird enough for him. It was as if they were teens again. Staring and getting lost in each others eyes. He smiled at remembering the incident where she stared at him as if he was the first man she had ever seen in her entire life. 
“Hey, you’re up early,” the girl said, rubbing her eyes. She crawled towards him, wrapping her arms around his neck, leaning against his bare back. “Are you really this clingy after doing your job?” Chifuyu laughed at her pouting face. Heat rises to her cheeks once more as she let go of him. “No, it’s just that, you’re warm that’s all,” she crossed her arms in denial. She looked at the man beside her. He was laughing with his toothy grin shining against the rising sun. The girl’s face blushed at how gorgeous he looks. Chifuyu noticed her tinted cheeks. He kissed her a good morning kiss, taking her by surprise. 
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“This sounds weird and sudden but wanna be more than just my present?” 
note: okay! so that was longer than i expected but this does show how much of a simp i am for this guy lol. anyways, hope you enjoyed the story! <3 
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we-live-in-dystopia · 20 days ago
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My thoughts on “The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes”
                              --- THIS ARTICLE HAS SPOILERS ---
First of all, I belong to the crowd who was severely disappointed as I discovered the new THG novel would be about President Snow of all people and not about Haymitch or Mags or any other relatable character, so I put the book on my read-later list and then kind of forgot about it.
Now I finally picked it up from my pile of unread books as I was procrastinating on a college assignment (yes, I know I have bad habits) and found myself actually enjoying it (nearly made me miss my due date - I really have a bad habits).
So, here are some of my thoughts on TBOSAS:
Would love to hear other people’s opinions, so feel free to comment/share!
I really liked the overall philosophical undertone of the novel. I’ve seen people complaining about TBOSAS being boring just because it wasn’t as action-filled and fast-paced as the original trilogy, but I think those readers missed the point of the sequel - it wasn’t intended to be another THG, it was supposed to give philosophical background on the concept of the games and I think the author did that rather brilliantly and Snow was actually a perfect choice as a main character for this purpose. There was the control vs. chaos debate (Do humans need strict governments to control them? Would they revert back to acting like animals if this control wouldn’t exist?) and there was also the debate if humans are inherently good or bad and Snow’s opinions on these subjects reflected well in in his later tyrannical regime.
“I think there’s a natural goodness built into human beings. You know when you’ve stepped across the line into evil, and it’s your life’s challenge to try and stay on the right side of that line.” - Lucy Gray
“And if even the most innocent among us turn to killers in the Hunger Games, what does that say? That our essential nature is violent.” - Coriolanus Snow
“What happened in the arena? That’s humanity undressed. The tributes. And you, too. How quickly civilization disappears. All your fine manners, education, family background, everything you pride yourself on, stripped away in the blink of an eye, revealing everything you actually are. A boy with a club who beats another boy to death. That’s mankind in its natural state.“ - Dr. Gaul
I also am really, really glad the author wrote the novel in a way that didn’t try to make us feel pity or sympathy for Coriolanus despite him coming actually from a pretty harsh place in life - his father got killed by a rebel sniper, his mother died during childbirth, he grew up in a warzone, he witnessed bombings and cannibalism and starvation, but we never get goated into believing this would justify his later actions.
"That at eighteen, the heir to the once-great house of Snow had nothing to live on but his wits."
I also like the way Coriolanus got characterized, he wasn’t portrayed as a sociopath or a born killer who was destined to become a villain and or as the weird kid already plotting world domination in elementary school, no he actually started out as pretty normal and clearly capable of the full range of thoughts and emotions. He was friends with his classmates, he cared about his family, he was put off by Dr. Gaul doing crazy experiments. Sure he was arrogant and self-centered and lacked empathy, but he was a boy we all could’ve gone to class with each day and would’ve found nothing amiss. What we see over the course of the novel though is someone who finds a way to justify everything he does in front of himself - from betraying his so-called best friend to trying to shoot the girl he claimed he loved. He is convinced he is not only doing nothing wrong, he is convinced he is doing the right and completely logical thing. Which I think is all in all a brilliant study of how humans are capable of performing the most evil of actions every single day despite growing up in a civilization in which all of those actions are condemned and commonly labeled as “wrong”.
On the other side I found it rather hard to pin down Lucy Gray’s character. It seemed to me that she was out of place in the entire THG world. Katniss, Prim, Peeta and Gale felt all entirely believable as people coming from a place like D12 including their distinctive interests and quirks, but Lucy Gray seemed over the top - being a circus performer, randomly running around with snakes, wearing rainbow coloured dresses, singing during her reaping as if it doesn’t bother her at all that she just got selected for a competition to death, ... It all felt a little bit unreal put together. I felt like her character got designed to enable the author to make as many references to Katniss and her relationship with Snow as possible and explain Snow’s later behaviour towards the victors. I personally would’ve found it more interesting if Lucy would’ve been actually from D12 and would’ve had some real opinions on things like the rebellion instead of taking the easy way out with “her people didn’t take a side in the war”. Still, I liked her character and found her giving a refreshing contrast to Katniss’ personality.
“It's Lucy Gray and I'm not really from Twelve," she said. "My people are Covey. Musicians by trade. We just took a wrong turn one day and were obliged to stay.”
In general there were few side characters that were outstanding or even memorable to me, besides Sejanus and Snow’s family. The other tributes and mentors got barely described and none of them had the impact of people like Rue, Thresh, Clove, Cato and Haymitch. In fact they were so unmemorable that I kept confusing them with each other even if they had a list of all of their names included in the book. Since the first half of the book mostly consisted of all of these people interacting with each other in a less than thrilling setting, the pacing of the entire novel was off and I can understand people finding it boring.
TLDR.: While I think the underlying concepts and the background of the games themselves were really done well, I wish the author would’ve put more thoughts in the side characters (maybe picked a few and made them memorable instead of listing them all) and would’ve resisted the temptation to create as many references to THG as possible. But still, I liked the novel far better than I expected and was positively surprised by Snow’s characterization and the author not turning his “romance” with Lucy Gray into some toxic yeah-he’s-a-bastard-but-he-loves-her-so-its-ok thing.
Also, some of my theories:
I think Maude Ivory might’ve become Katniss grandmother (which would be hilarious, because then Snow gave candy to Katniss grandma).
It might’ve been Lucy’s tendency to flirt with everyone and win the games by treating it like a performance/show that gave Snow the idea of turning the hunger games into a media show and later selling the victors.
Snow might’ve ended up hating Haymitch so much because he never wanted to see another victor from D12 and Haymitch wasn’t supposed to win.
ALSO: Sejanus deserved better!! And I still want a prequel about Mags’ games.
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megamanxfanfics · 20 days ago
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Did the Risk pay off?
Did you enjoy my little April Fool’s Joke? Did anyone even notice it??
Sorry about that. It’s not usually like me to joke like that, but the reason I did so was because its probably the last time I’d have the opportunity to ever pull an April Fool’s Prank about this project again.  That is to say, I am very confident that by next April Fool’s Day - 2022, I’ll be long done with Season VI.
It’s a little sad to say that, but mostly triumphant on my end. There was a little truth in that 4/1 post. I Did go on a Marvel bend and rewatch the entire MCU for funzies, and I was taking a long ass time on getting out Ep. 13, but believe me. I wasn’t over or burnt out from X at all.  I just needed a little time to figure out how to execute what I wanted to do properly.  I’m mostly satisfied with the turnout. =D
For those of you who haven’t read S. VI - Ep. 13 yet, I highly suggest you do so, because there will be Massive Spoilers ahead.  Since the tail end of Ep. 11, I set X up for a risky fanficky side-adventure.  And now that I’ve committed to it and it’s officially out there, the only question that’s left to ask is... Did the risk pay off??
First, I guess I should admit that my planning for the 2nd Arc was always hazy, even after finishing up Ep. 7, when X defeated the Nightmare Zero.
I knew in Ep. 8, we were going to have a lot of Zero getting reacquainted with the gang and that I was going to have to resolve the plot hole of X5′s Bad Ending, lining up with the way he acts in X6 - as a Zero fanboy.  So the returning Memory thing factored in big time.
Ep. 9 was Zero’s first mission out while X recovered.  My plan was to always have X get in that portal and face Dynamo.  But what would come after was a giant mystery to me.  
I didn’t want X to keep bumping into to Dynamo every time he got in a portal.  And I also didn’t want him to keep bumping into High Max either.  All of High Max’s dialogue and interactions thus far indicated that he wants X dead, and based off of the rules I set up for the Portal Dimensions, X couldn’t just leave in the middle of a fight.  That’s also not his style.
So in a way, I kind of wrote myself into a hole.  I’d either have to end High Max early, (which I didn’t want to do), or I’d have to get creative.
Then something clicked out of nowhere.  Something that could be very Nostalgic and Special, but would it work??  When X gets to the Fire Portal, he could face a Nightmare Vile from X1.  Then in the next portals, he could face Nightmare versions of his other bullies from the rest of the games. X2 - Violen & Agile, X3 - Bit & Byte, X4 - Double...  It could be great!  But what purpose would it serve other than Fan Service?
It’s a great question that I’m still asking, but ultimately - my alternative was to have X face High Max prematurely and lose [where it would be very hard to have High Max spare him.] Or to have X prematurely defeat High Max, which again I really didn’t want to do.  And Dynamo was way too injured to just keep taking beatings from X.  That’d get very boring and annoying very fast.
So I went for it.  It took 2 episodes to get there, but in Ep. 11 X took on Nightmare Vile...  And honestly, I thought it was great!  While he was doing that, Zero was facing Blaze Phoenix, which was equally exciting to me.
Honestly, in Ep. 12, I wanted to get right to it and call that one Nightmare Lane, but X & Zero needed to recover and I already had planned on them talking everything out, which I was putting off again and again.  That episode named itself once their conversation about X5′s encounter in Antarctica really got going.  I also really kinda loved that ending with X’s failure in the Inami Temple portal.
This set us up for Ep. 13, which I wanted to be an Action-Packed showstopper. So that was the plan all along for this episode, once I committed to the Nostalgic Nightmare idea.  My goal was for X to get to Double, and I made it there. It worked out.  But this is admittedly a very dense chapter.
Part of the point of these Nostalgic Nightmares is to show X’s growth after all this time.  He’s been whining and complaining this whole time about how the Nightmare is too tough, but guess what? He’s already so much stronger than he ever was to previous threats like Vile, the X-Hunters, the Nightmare Police & Double.  I felt like this could be a much-needed confidence booster for him, but also serve as a dual purpose for the bad guys to wear him down, psychologically.  Any excuse I can have to make the villains banter, I’ll also take.  I really like how this is all build up to Metal Shark, but will it pay off is the question?  Will I be able to stick that landing?  Time will tell.
I'm looking forward to writing Ep. 14. Honestly, I wanted to have a whole fight with Double and then some aftermath planned as the true closer to Ep. 13, but upon rereading, it was already dense enough.  [Frankly, it probably could’ve ended when Zero was about to set off to the North Pole Area, but that’s fine.]
Also, I really surprised myself with how good X’s meet up with Phantom was. [His Rescue Reploid name in the game was the ONLY reason for these MMZ Easter eggs.] But now I’m so happy that I’ve been including them, because I’m feeling a bigger picture coming about for when I end this Season.
Levy was just this flirty inclusion to spice up the Alia & X dialogue at first. Anything else with her would be a bonus. Fef became a very necessary device to keep Hal & Kassy safe, while they’ve been stranded in the Magma Area for so long.  Making him a junkie derelict was an interesting choice too. And of course, Phantom was in the Portal at the Central Museum revisit.  I always had this vague sense in my mind that X was going to have a very harrowing rescue mission that kept failing at every revisit, but then he’d bump into Phantom who was holding his own and he’d get this giant sense of hope. Boom. Grainy Effect. Episode ending right there on Phantom.
But of course, in execution that couldn’t happen with the rest that I had planned and that’s fine.  Still, I was surprised at their dialogue with each other. Phantom was really impressive and cool.  Just the premise of this exhausted warrior, whose resigned himself to protecting himself for days, only to bump into X and consider him a fool for getting stuck here with him.
But no. Now, Double has entered the Portal.  And X knows there’s a way out.
[I also never thought about the fact that Phantom would be stuck in the room with him during the fight, so now I’ve got some thinking to do.] lol
Harpy’s save will be next and I don’t mind spoiling that he’ll be in the Recycle Area.  [I did my best to keep to their elements, but the X6 stages didn’t really lend for that.]
Phantom was always gonna be in the Central Museum, because that is game-dictated. Levy could’ve been in the North Pole, I suppose, but the Inami Temple is ridden with females, so it made the most sense to me to make that her domain. Fef being in the Magma Area was spot on. I love that it was his old hangout spot - Dark Haven.  So teen-angsty/broody.
Harpy being in the Recycle Lab is kind of just a circumstance thing, but we’ll talk about it when we get there.
I wanted to go over the writing process to this one, but this is already getting quite lengthy.  I guess I can say that it was straight forward, writing through X’s battle against Violen & Agile. I always wanted Isoc to come in right after, to give us the hint that he’s Serges 2.0. But then, that revisit to the Amazon Area got draggy...  I did my best, but I had to make cuts.  I liked what I did once he got in the portal. His refight with Bit & Byte was pretty cool.  Bringing Marty into it was a fun choice. I did like, how X got his moment of catharsis after all.  [I know there’s a real lost-opportunity with not including iX, but honestly that’d be too much.  If I ever write iX again, I think it’s best if I save him for the Mega Missions series.]
This thing fell apart when I got to the Central Museum revisit. I didn’t want to write that at all... In my script, I had marks at the bottom of the doc for what he’d say in the other totems IF he revisited.  And here we weeeeere.   Yet again, I was in the same position as last year at this time, when I wrote out Ep. 3.  I handled it better, then!  Playing over and over again to find right parts of the stage I wanted to write was annoying.  I bet I missed out on Rescue Reploids too, or Zombie Reploids at this point, but it’s fine.  It’s been so long, they probably just died.  I could always edit that in post, that X passes a bunch of dead bodies.  That’d make for some spooky atmosphere.
At this point, I re-analyzed the entire chapter and decided it was high-time for Zero to wake up and go about his original directives.  Time to add to the layers. It brought parts to life, for sure.  It even cemented other transitions, which was really cool.  I liked that I gave Douglas something else to do other than just, be there...
Once I was actually writing Zero’s stage, it did start to feel like a different episode, but I had a goal to reach and damn it, I was gonna get there! lol What’s good about this is that it moves Zero along in the stage without it being a real pain in the ass.
And that basically takes us to where the episode left off.
For the broken Central Museum part, I wrote X’s interactions with Phantom first. Then, with every Totem, I caught up to it as I could.  Once the Zero layering came about, things pieced together.  Same goes for any extra Villain narrations. The episode definitely started a certain way, and I wanted to keep that up as much as possible.  While also having Alia commentary, when appropriate and necessary.
I like this one. There’s a decent balance amidst all the nonsense I set up for myself.  And I definitely think that all these Portal Revisits are more interesting for X’s Nostalgic Nightmare encounters.  It spins the premise around that they didn’t just create a Nightmare Zero, but also a Nightmare Vile, a Nightmare Violen, a Nightmare Bit, a Nightmare Byte and now a Nightmare Double.  The possibilities are endless.
Yes, X’s mission is a complete side-quest, but guess what?  It makes you think that if he didn’t do this, the Nightmare would be that much worse for everyone later, down the road.  It’s Preventative Action.  It’s pretty neat.
Also, again - every Investigator thus far has been relatively good, but mislead in thinking that X was the enemy.  So once he’d explain it to them, they'd be at a standstill, and pretty much at a loss for motivation.  Go figure that Zero actually battles the evil ones with Infinity Flea and Blaze Phoenix.  But he’ll get a real taste for the good/mislead dilemma soon enough with Blizzard Wolfang.
Then we’ll see how I handle Metal Shark when I get there.  I’m looking forward to it.  I can’t believe I’m almost up to the 3rd Arc already!
But that’s exactly what I was getting at at the beginning of this rant.  This is definitely gonna be my last Season.  [Unless we get an X9 that suddenly ends all cliffhangers.] So with that said, I think the Nostalgic throwback was the right thing to do.  Show us that growth and remind us of where he’s been in a short time span, before we end things proper in MMX’s final season.
I’m getting misty eyed thinking about it already. =P
I’ll see you next time for Episode 14.
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aion-rsa · 22 days ago
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Army of the Dead: How Advanced Are Zeus and His Alpha Zombie Society?
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This Army of the Dead article contains spoilers.
It’s not a subtle image. But then who comes to a Zack Snyder movie for that? During the bloody and marvelous opening credits to Army of the Dead, the alpha zombie they call Zeus (Richard Cetrone) earns his nickname while staring up at a statue of the ancient Greek god of thunder in front of the fictional Mount Olympus hotel and casino. Our Mr. Zombie+ may not be an actual god, but one alpha can clearly recognize another’s game, and as we eventually learn, “Zeus” will make the Greco-Roman themed high-rise his home in the months to come.
Olympus is again the seat of power for those who seek to rule over all.
Such is our early introduction to Snyder’s update of zombie lore in Army of the Dead, the filmmaker’s second zombie movie after his debut film nearly 20 years ago, the Dawn of the Dead remake (2004), and his first original project since 2011’s Sucker Punch. Obviously, Snyder is still playing with genre in his new undead adventure, embedding a heist movie into the trappings of a more traditional zombie survival horror. However, the closer one examines the zombie hierarchy of this new movie, the more evident it is that there’s little you could call “traditional” about Zeus and his brood.
“I think the conversation I was starting to have with myself is: What will people allow in this genre of film?” Snyder told Den of Geek earlier this month about Army of the Dead. If audiences are receptive to the film, the answer will be a lot since Snyder’s movie seems to suggest zombies can be highly intelligent, successful at problem solving, and even in some ways more evolved and egalitarian than us. And if they can ever get outside of the ruins of Las Vegas… they really might just be the new gods of this world.
Of course on paper, the idea of a “smarter zombie” is not entirely new. The grandfather of our modern conceptualization of zombie lore, George A. Romero, even began toying with his image of mindless undead shamblers with his third zombie movie, Day of the Dead (1985). In that film, a zombie they call Bub is trained to solve rudimentary puzzles and even use a gun by humans; he then develops affection for the scientist who taught him. Romero further built on the idea in Land of the Dead (2005) when a zombie nicknamed “Big Daddy” leads a pseudo-revolution by organizing fellow walkers to storm Dennis Hopper’s high-rise citadel of power.
However, both those films, particularly Land, were far more intrigued with the allegorical aspects of the undead workers of the world uniting, as opposed to deepening the definition of a zombie itself. Big Daddy and his cohorts represented the “have-nots” of capitalism and 20th century geopolitics, with Hopper’s character a thinly veiled caricature of then-U.S. President George W. Bush (he is killed by oil at the end of the film).
Other fictions have also somewhat explored the idea of an intelligent zombie, but it’s always been in a format meant to feed into other genre tropes, like the romantic comedy in Warm Bodies (2013) or high fantasy in Game of Thrones. Still, Thrones is probably the best comparison to what Snyder is going for in Army of the Dead since the White Walkers (or “Others” in George R.R. Martin’s novels) are the top of a hierarchical food chain with the ability to magically command the more mindless Wights. They even kept pets like undead horses and bears—which is not dissimilar to Zeus’ own undead mount and tiger in Army of the Dead.
Nevertheless, the White Walkers are essentially a fantastical catchall for any force of nature (or inescapable death) that overwhelms and obliterates the petty grievances of man. Hence the countless think pieces about the Night King being the harbinger of climate change. By contrast, “alphas” in Army of the Dead are not allegorical creatures at all. They’re envisioned to be the next step in evolution among the undead and (perhaps) humanity as well.
We don’t technically know where Zeus comes from in this story. There’s some cheeky lip-service paid in the cold open about the zombie king hailing from Area 51, yet these details are intentionally left vague and dubious. The point is that he was in the military’s custody and they rather hilariously lost control of the zombie. Now every person he bites becomes an alpha—which is odd since it raises the question of where the traditional walkers came from if Zeus is the proverbial Patient Zero of the zombie outbreak.
Be that as it may, after the new normal sets in around Vegas, we learn Zeus rules on high from Olympus, sending out his zombie tiger as if it were both a hunting dog and a herald to announce his power. And his elected ruling class of zombies have developed the ability to communicate and barter with the living humans who occasionally slip into their domain. We learn from Lilly (Nora Arnezeder) that she only successfully ferrets materials in and out of Vegas by sacrificing “shitheads” to her alpha zombie gods. And when she feeds one such sexist pig to the alphas, Zeus’ zombie bride (Hera?) communicates with the humans through a series of vocal cues, making it clear she accepts that these mouth-breathers are buying safe passage.
Which raises the question: just how smart are the alpha zombies in Army of the Dead?
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The answer appears to be very. Zeus is able to organize his fellow alphas into an army that attacks in waves, like the Night King in Game of Thrones. Yet each alpha appears to have its own personality and ambition. They are not extensions of his will, but creatures with their own individual thought processes—they just fear the real alpha among them. Maybe this is the only element of allegorical heft in the film, since Zeus has organized zombie society around a group of powerful producers who take what they want through virtue of their talent (the alphas) and a bunch of underachiever shamblers who don’t complain about getting scraps. One even wonders if there’s an undead Atlas to shrug among Zeus’ cohorts?
In any event, Zeus is able to problem solve enough to build a seemingly magic helmet that no high-powered bullet can penetrate, thereby protecting his sensitive brain tissue, and he can strategize how to lead an assault with both alphas and shamblers. Most importantly though… he can grieve.
In another significant departure from typical zombie fiction, Zeus procreates in this film the old-fashioned way. His new species still increases its numbers via zombie bites. Yet Zeus and his proverbial bride also conceive a child who is still in utero when she is decapitated. Zeus is able to be anguished by the desecration of her body (and later her final death), and he can be outraged by discovering his zombie child died for realsies in utero.
We have seen “zombie babies” and zombie children before, including in Snyder’s own Dawn of the Dead remake. But we have never seen zombies conceive a child, which seems to suggest zombies can actually age and grow in this universe. After all, the baby Zeus and his lover intended to birth could grow from an apparently zombified embryo, so can Zeus and his minions grow older themselves? Zeus’ hair certainly grows out over the length of the movie.
In which case, are the alphas in Army of the Dead really dead at all? In a biological sense, yes. Their hearts stop beating and they can apparently take any form of punishment except a bullet or blade to the cranium. In a philosophical sense, however, the differences between the living and the dead appear to have become moot. The alphas can procreate, strategize, and build a society of their own.
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As even Lilly says, this isn’t their prison; it’s their kingdom. A realm for a new species that in some ways is an improvement on ours. For starters, they are a lot harder to kill. Zeus’ lover is outright decapitated and her head’s still going. But, on a more serious note, they also display fewer deficiencies of character. If Martin (Garret Dillahunt) hadn’t screwed over his compatriots to get to the roof alone, most of the cast of characters in Army of the Dead would’ve survived. In a plot point straight out of James Cameron’s Aliens, at least the alpha zombies aren’t “fucking each other over” for a percentage.
Additionally, the alphas can overtake entire communities in the span of a few days. If not for the wall erected by humans during the movie’s opening credits, North America would be swarming with zombies. So, in a way, putting Zeus down at the end was the best thing our heroes could’ve done for their obsolete species.
But—as teased by Vanderohe (Omari Hardwick) surviving just long enough to get out of the irradiated ruins of Vegas to notice his zombie bite—life, much like death, will find a way. And among the alphas, those distinctions are becoming almost meaningless.
The post Army of the Dead: How Advanced Are Zeus and His Alpha Zombie Society? appeared first on Den of Geek.
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fivepipsandflowers · 24 days ago
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How did you keep reading World War Z?
Maybe I'm just being a Salty Sally, but here's the struggle I've been having with reading this book (I'm 90 pages in).
So far all the narratives have been from men. Men with cool positions in society, like professors and CIA workers. So I was trying to be patient and wait for one of the narratives to be from a woman. And I thought to myself, okay what cool job will they have?
Well I get to page 60(ish) and it's a mayor in a small town. Fine. There can be cool women later. This character was awful, and just fulfilled all the stereotypical female tropes. Gossiping at work, being a soccer mom, complaining about the spouse. So that bummed me out, but whatever.
Then the next female character is a teen? Young adult? With the mind of a 4 year old. Oh yeah, and also she's a red head with green eyes and described as looking like a supermodel. Literally the word supermodel is used. It just felt gross to read, especially because the age of this character is not described, AND they are in a rehabilitation home for feral children.....
Then the last character I just read about is a generic Russian soldier, which I assumed would be sort of cool. They had an interesting story until the author had to throw in that they were reading Seventeen magazine in their bunk. Just ugh.
So I don't know, I don't think this is me being nitpicky. I'm just confused because I've seen World War Z posted on this sub before as being awesome- and I was in a zombie mood gosh durnit! And there have been some stories I like, but boy howdy, these lady chapters are killing my vibe :/
Does it get better? Someone tell me it gets better (without spoilers) 😬
submitted by /u/Doggotoast [link] [comments] from So many books, so little time https://ift.tt/3bCBJMg
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