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#no shade to the authors I haven’t read a lot of stuff that fits this formula but it’s a pattern
bookboxaddict · 3 months
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Alchemy of Us
So I DID actually get the FairyLoot November box. It arrived recently, and… it was a bit of a mixed bag.
The first item I saw when I unboxed it was a set of hanging pouches. This was actually a SUPER nice item — I’ve been eyeing OwlCrate’s organizer for a very long time. I desperately need more things to maximize my room’s storage space. And I did like the alchemical designs on it, though it feels… like the designer maybe didn’t understand East Asian culture; the spoiler card said it was inspired by the featured book, but I didn’t fully get that vibe from it. The art style just feels… off, and a lot of the alchemical depictions seem very western. Where are the five elements? Their relationships to one another in a pentagram?
That said, I’m really glad I got this item. I hung it up immediately and have been putting things into it. Admittedly right now it’s just a temporary placeholder location for some of my odds and ends; I can’t utilize it efficiently until I categorize all my tlotchkes and figure out locations for each category. Which WILL happen! …Someday!!
The next item was a lanyard and card carrier. It’s inspired by Vampire Academy, and it feels a little… young? I was actually happy when I heard there’d be a VA fandom item; I haven’t read the book yet, but I got the ebook on a discount, and the first couple of chapters are interesting so far. And vampire things tend to have gothic aesthetics with red and black, which are colors I look good in, so accessories in those shades would likely match what I wear. But I can’t see myself wearing this lanyard around my neck…
Then again, I recently got a phone case that doesn’t have room for ID cards or anything, and I don’t like carrying a bag around (too femme), but I don’t want to just stick a credit card in my pocket, either. So maybe I’ll use the case. It still feels a little… tacky, though. It’s not made from the best quality material, either, though I suppose I shouldn’t expect it to be, at this price. I’m also not sure what it has to do with alchemy, although maybe I’ll have to finish the book to find out.
Another disappointing item was the hidden book, except… this was less disappointing than I’d thought it would be. When I heard November would have a hidden book, I considered if I wanted to skip it instead of October (the theme reveal was early this year), but I really wanted the featured book of the month. I already have too many books, though; the last thing I need is a fake book taking up space a real book could be occupying. But! This one is actually super lightweight, and could fit on the precarious top of one of my flimsier shelves, where I’ve put a bunch of non-book items. And since it’s hollow, I can store tlotchkes in it. So maybe it’ll be useful after all. It’s designed like an alchemy textbook, which I appreciate, since it’s in keeping with the theme.
The last item was a Sarah J Maas calendar. I have a strange relationship with Sarah J Maas, where her stuff occupies the same niche as Taco Bell for me — yes, I know it’s terrible; yes, I see all the flaws and ways in which it’s not at proper Mexican cuisine. Yes, it’s garbage. But sometimes I want garbage. It’s hard to explain. Anyway, her stuff is just the right kind of bad for me to enjoy when I want to read something bad. I don’t know how I’ll feel about the calendar, but if it has nice art, then I’ll probably appreciate it.
Finally, the book! This single-handedly made me glad I’d gotten the box, regardless of how I feel about the items!!! I’d been so excited for it when I heard the announcement, and it DID NOT DISAPPOINT.
This month’s book was The Scarlet Alchemist, an Eastern fantasy set during the reign of Empress Wu Zetian. The author is clearly writing from a place of knowledge and cultural immersion, though I do have a bone to pick about referring to Chinese languages as ‘dialects’. They are LANGUAGES. Anyway, the cover is beautiful, I love the gold foiling on the hard case, and the EDGES!!! They’re painted with an image from the cover! It’s BEAUTIFUL. A+ customizations. I picked it up and thought I’d maybe read the first page, but accidentally devoured the first seven chapters immediately and had to commit to cutting myself off after chapter ten. It was SO good. And very nostalgic, of the China that I’d never been in and that never actually existed, but that I always thought I’d come from. I also really love that there’s so much more eastern fantasy in YA these days; it’s about time! The genre had been so white for a very long time. It is bittersweet, though; every time I see a new one I’m reminded that I could be adding to the ranks of Eastern fantasy novels, and instead I’m… writing things that anyone could write.
This month also had two nice tarot cards, but there was nothing that said who the characters were. It’s very annoying — surely the cards are more valuable as collector’s items if the fandoms are known?
Overall, I’m a little disappointed in the other items (especially since there are only four! The five-item boxes feel richer…), but VERY glad for the pouches and the book. This was maybe a solid 3.5/5 box.
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colorisbyshe · 2 years
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The untamed fic thing is so real like HOW COME there’s literally a shit TON of them and I couldn’t find a single one that fit my taste (I don’t want to shade any authors , they were all talented , I’m merely speaking about my personal taste, apparently I’m too hard to please)
What fandom has the best fanfic in your opinion ?
Ehhhh, I don’t actually read that much fic, so I’m a bad person to ask. I also only ever read one or two ships/fandoms at a time (with “at a time” spanning years), so I feel like I can’t really compare/contrast well.
Like, in the past three years, I’ve only read (or in many cases tried to read) spock/kirk, sasuke/naruto (i didn’t find many worth reading because most are about when they’re 16), kakashi/iruka, and a looong search through lwj/wwx stuff where I only rly found five fic worth reading.
My tastes are pretty specific (I hate fluff, like character studies but still want a broader, connected plot, need either angst or pining but also a happy ending, don’t enjoy AUs unless they are canon-divergent like fix it/what if fic, or like REALLY compelling AUs and not just “what if they existed in 2022 and went to college, at least 10k but under 150k because I’m sorry no fic needs to even longer than even 100k if we’re being hoenst, learn how to edit down your ideas) but broadly speaking—
I think, in terms of “more likely to find a decent, in character, non-deranged fic,” Spirk wins by a long shot. There’s a lot of fuck or die fic because *waves hands are Pon Farr,* which can be annoying, but I’ve posted before about how Spock’s strong canon characterization makes it a lot easier to spot authors who aren’t trying to actually write Spock and Kirk and are instead writing pro tags with generic personalities. Like a huuuge issue with most fic is that everyone sort of has the same perosnality, mannerisms, tone, and sense of humor but with Spock and Kirk all that’s easy to weed out??
And there’s a lot to mine with them, because you have multiple, canon universes of content, and lots of room for “tropes” that actually have a tie to canon and therefore rly less on alt universe shit.
In terms of fic that provides an emotional punch, the untamed and surprisingly kakashi/iruka are the best I’ve experienced? At least recently. The untamed has a lot of fix it fic which means lots of room for re-examining characters so I like that
But the fandom with THE best fic… as in one fic in specific, which granted, I haven’t read in years so maybe it doesn’t help up, well let me just say the fic is about buc— *gets tasered*
But again… my taste in fic is “what feels most like the source material but infuses in more of x character, y type of angst, and z themes,” so if you’re here for like…
more transformative types of fic… idk
I read fic for quick catharsis and go get More Content but I know not everyone does
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spriggytwigs · 3 years
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YA fantasy book titles be like: a noun of noun & noun
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bbnibini · 3 years
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Hi! I really love your works but it gotten me curious if you also read fanfics? Do you have any fanfic recommendations?
Thank you, anon! That's really kind of you. 🥺💕 I do read fanfics, but not as much anymore. I'm assuming this ask is for Obey Me fics? But if not, I will include some of my absolute favourites in a future post. Fair warning: I gushed. A LOT hahaha. Please support the authors and their works! I included the fics in the hyperlinks~
NSFW fics are marked appropriately, so please click the links at your own discretion (some of them are in my public bookmarks in AO3).
Elle's Obey Me Fic Recommendations
🌸Your Coal by Angrish(LettuceBean)
Truth be told, I belong to the "forgive but don't forget camp" in lieu of what happened in Chapter 16; reading Angrish's YC and how their MC coped with the aftermath(+ how others coped along with them) felt really powerful, raw and so so emotional. It made me think and really think about how I processed the whole thing that happened. While it didn't really change my outlook on how I have forgiven Belphie for what he had done, Angrish shedding light to the unanswered questions and lingering doubts the main story have left most of its readers was done in such a thoughtful and poetic way that I found myself binge reading the whole thing.
Given that I read this whole coping with a lot of stuff as well (and may have contributed with sympathising a lot more to the vindictiveness of the MC), reading what Angrish had written was really cathartic. Their writing style is also beautiful--the way the words string together, simple, elegant, yet impactful really made MC's emotions a lot...tangible, real and sometimes, frustrating (in a good way, mind you). I also liked how they had fleshed out the other characters, especially Belphegor, Satan and the Purgatory Hall members.
🌸You'll Have to Ask Your Dad by DefenestrationProtestration
I remembered clicking on this fic because of the author's punny name, stayed for the pretty writing and reread a few several times for the characterisation and THE WRITING. I'm pretty sure I left a litany of praises and incomprehensible gushing on the comments section because of how much I've devoured this piece of art.
Even as I'm typing this review, I can't seem to organise my thoughts haha. You can tell by the writing style that the author had a lot of fun writing their prose; it permeates through the screeen...my "screen" of imagination at least. I am not joking--the writing is so pretty and vivid that I literally saw it as a movie in my head lol. I chatted with them a bit on the comments and they said the prose is more of something they had written subconsciously; it reminded me of James Joyce and how he had masterfully perfected the same technique. Of course, their writing styles differ a lot from each other, but I can see what they meant.
...as I'm typing this, I didn't realise how I haven't talked about the plot of the fic at all soz. This piece is the author's character study of Lucifer. It talks about how he was before, during and after the fall. He is a bit of an unreliable narrator, which I'm not sure if the author intended, but he has all these presumptions that miss the mark so so much, particularly at how his brothers, Lord Diavolo and the others perceive him--but reading the whole thing would make you understand why he had gotten to that kind of self-perception in the first place. And honestly? It really, really hurt to read. But was it bad? The total opposite of that, in fact! I loved how they had written the angst in this piece. So many things in the fic are "show, rather than tell" and I really really appreciate that.
Most of my brainrot about this fic is better to be explored on your own. Overall, 10/10: a definite, recommended read.
🌸Fairy Tales for the Fallen by indiavolowetrust
I haven't fully devoured all of the stories in the collection yet, but the ones I've read (Her Name Was Thousand Eyes is my favourite) was such a really good spin on dark fairy tales (Obey Me style!). It reminded me of my childhood Little Mermaid picture book for some reason. Probably the writing style(the author's writing reads a lot like a storybook) The one I had was Hans Christian Andersen's (aka the OG) version and the ending was rather...dark for a 5 year old lol. It was a big part of my life though and was probably the precursor for my affinity with sad stories haha.
🌸TieGuanYin by Taciturn
Like tea on a tiring day, Taciturn's writing style feels very homey, cozy and familiar. I love rereading this oneshot when I'm having a shitty day and imagining myself having tea with Barbatos haha. Ever had pieces of art or literature that just...relaxes you when you consume it? This one is one of my, as the youngsters say, "comfort fic" haha.
🌸glass half empty; glass half full by unagis
I love unagis' fics.♡ I also love her Childe fics. The concepts she comes up with, as well as how she delivers it is *chef kiss*. Admittedly, I read this one when I was still a Satan stan, with all the suspicions and doubts about Solomon's intentions still rampant within me. Reading him blush and become flustered is CUTE and aaaaa this whole fic is just really cute.🥺♡
🌸The Eternal Storm by @sondepoch
Sondepoch's Satan oneshot was the very first fic I read in the OM fandom so it has a special place in my heart~ I remembered how awkward it was to skim through the Satan filters, looking for a gen fic/SFW fic because around that time, most OM fics are smut (no shade on smut ofc, I'm just super uncomfortable reading them unless the writing is really pretty or there's something else going on in the story). Finding GEN AND A WELL-WRITTEN CHARACTER STUDY about my (former) favourite OM character was like I hit the jackpot. I remembered that feeling really well haha. My bias with one of my favourite forms of fic (char. study) aside, Sondepoch's writing is easy on the eyes and is definitely a great entry for anyone who wants to be in the OM fandom.
🌸Read Me by GENE515
One of my more recent reads and definitely worth a mention!♡ Read Me was a beautifully written, heartfelt two-shot about Lucifer's love, which he tried his best to express in penned words. Probably because of my own love letter-themed OM series, this one really stuck to me haha. The author is also really sweet. :3
🌸Schrodinger by fickleminder
I read this one around Halloween and it definitely fit the occasion. Schrodinger was such a great thriller/horror fic with how it set its unsettling atmosphere from the very beginning--the way fickleminder's writing just sucks you in and makes you bystand the whole ordeal between Belphegor and MC was just...so suspenseful? Nail biting? Creepy (in a good way ofc)? I won't spoil the ending, but the process and way they tackled it was a lot scarier than what I was initially bracing myself for.
🌸Siberia by @polandspringz
Seeing another Obey Me mystery in AO3 really hyped me up! Polandspringz did a spectacular job in writing this series and I can relate so much with their experiences in writing for mystery. Their writing style is easy on the eyes--I also really liked how they characterised the OM characters I have read on their series so far. There's still quite a lot of stuff left in speculation (from my most recent reading at least), and I really look forward to see how everything unfolds!
🌸Tetris Syndrome by apocketfulofposies (NSFW)
I am very very uncomfortable with smut content, so the smut I've read can be counted on one hand. ;; That is to say, TS is one of the few smut that I really, really enjoyed. First of all, Levi's characterisation is on point. It was really really interesting to get in his head and read about his thought process. What is envy? And how much does the sin of envy really define him?
I really enjoyed Levi's internalisations, as well as the author's writing style. If you want smut with a brooding, jealous otaku boy, I really recommend this one!
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ashintheairlikesnow · 3 years
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Yknow, the importance of consistency over realism in worldbuilding sounds interesting. Would you mind explaining that?(If not, that's perfectly fine)
Of course!
So, there’s a tumblr post going around that hits on this, too, and they start with I think the easiest way to explain this in one sentence: When people complain about something being “unrealistic”, what they usually mean is “I couldn’t believe it in the context of the story”.
In sci-fi or fantasy, you can do nearly anything, provided that you are consistent with it. You can have your world-building make as little sense as you want, really, as long as your characters and settings all consistently reflect that world-building. 
For instance, if your characters are human and you break their bones, imprison them for months, or whip them - all of these things have known, consistent ways of changing and affecting the human psyche and body. If you are not consistent with that, it will break immersion.
However, if your character is alien and they don’t have calcium-based bone structure, you could change what broken bones look like to those bodies! But then make that change consistent and constant for that alien race!
Let’s see...
Um, another example:
If you set up a magic system, it needs to affect everyone in the same way or you’ll break suspension of disbelief - not because of the magic, but because the rules aren’t applying to everyone the same.
One issue I brought up with Shades of Magic that really wrecked my immersion is that Delilah Bard, one of the main characters, uses magic for the first time on a ship in the middle of the sea. The author has noted, more than once by this point, that no one can manipulate the ocean because the amount of magic needed to do so is so vast. No one.
Not the other powerful magicians called Antari in the story, NO ONE can do this. Not our main character, a magician who has spent most of his life immersed in study. Not the pirate captain whose ship Lila is on, who can wield nearly every kind of magic AND has a secret side power besides.
Not the pirates who USE water magic, who have spent their lives on the ship.
Nobody. Can. Use. Magic. To. Control. The. Ocean.
But of course Delilah Bard can, once without even trying.
(Arguably, the not-even-trying scene is actually pretty funny, but it still breaks the concept of how magic works in the book)
This is meant to be a “look at how wonderful and powerful and super cool this character is” moment, but instead it made me put the book down. I picked it up again because I loved the story (and was sort of hoping literally any female character but Lila would survive to the end and also get characterization), but it really struck me as deeply inconsistent and broke my suspension of disbelief.
Because the author broke their own rules for how magic works multiple times to make Lila Bard cool.
(For the record, Shades of Magic is a rollicking good story and if you don’t want to read the series, PLEASE at least read the first book, it’s so fucking good. I go hard at issues with the series because I WAS so enamored of it, I read the whole series in like two weeks, was sometimes up until 2 AM trying to finish the last pages)
So, that’s a good example of world-building that, even if ‘unrealistic’, works just fine in the context of the story until it’s violated on a whim.
There is no reason whatsoever for the rule violation to happen when it does. It doesn’t really serve in any significant way. It’s just “Lila Bard is better than everyone at everything, even stuff she doesn’t know”. That will hurt reader immersion!
If you find that happening but you need that violation to serve your story - in Shades of Magic, Lila becoming a powerful magician is an important point, and the amount of time that passes is incredibly short and compressed so either way it all had to happen very very quickly - then you need to seed some explanation or hint or showcase of that exception to the rule elsewhere in the story.
“She’s just better” is not an explanation. You need to have something that weaves into your world-building. 
If you find yourself falling into an inconsistency like that, you need to pull it out - OR you make it consistent with everything else. If that inconsistency is necessary, or it electrifies you, then you don’t have to take it out! But you do need to have it fit in with the world-building rules you’ve already established, or you’ll break the immersion of the reader.
The world itself is inconsistent in a lot of ways. People are inconsistent, fickle and uncertain. We change. Worlds change. But if you’ve set up a very specific rule about how your world works, ONLY break that rule if you’ve set the story up to support it.
Also, this is tumblr and you’re writing for free on the internet, so don’t drive yourself to stress over it! There are some inconsistencies with Bram and Ryan through Danny’s story and how the magic works there, because I published the pieces as I went. If I collected them together, condensed and published a book... I would do a LOT of reworking of those early chapters to give you hints and a better understanding of what I planned. I would build the inconsistencies into the creation of the story so that they were consistent with my world-building.
I am trying to do a little better with the mer story - this is my first attempt at writing a largely linear narrative - but there may be some inconsistencies there, too, for the same reason.
(I’ve had three people note the inconsistency in my mammalian mer having scales on his tail, but that’s actually consistent with my world-building for this story... I just haven’t given away why yet. If I went back to do the beginning again, I might add in more clues than I already have)
Don’t stress yourself over it, but generally keep in mind that nothing has to be all that realistic, it just has to be consistent within the context of the story.
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ghostsofmemories · 4 years
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Writing My Obituary (context on my weird poetry collection)
I realized today that I very casually bring up my poetry collection all the time and a large majority of my followers have no clue what I’m talking about, so here’s a WMO explanation post thing! I should definitely give a content warning though: this book deals with suicide, abuse (both physical and emotional, by both parents and other people), homophobia and transphobia, allusions to major appetite and stomach issues (which while reading sound a lot like eating disorders), toxic relationships, just a lot of really heavy emotions in general. Please don’t read the book or this post if those things could trigger you. This post also ended up super long, so the rest is under the cut.
So. first thing’s first, this collection is being published by Pure Print Publishing this fall (due to covid there aren’t any exact dates available). I didn’t query it, someone reached out to me after reading my poems on Instagram, hearing that they were in an unpublished collection, and basically connected me with their friend who runs the indie publishing house and is an author himself.
A big part of the reason this book is so difficult to talk about in context is because that requires getting pretty vulnerable - most of this book is just me dealing with everything I’ve struggled with over the last 4 years of my life. So if there’s discussion about the book in the replies, please keep it to the content of the book and not the validity of these experiences or details of things that happened to me.
The collection is about me and my journey from 13 to 17, starting with my suicide attempt at 13. There are several poems from around that time in my life, but they’ve changed a lot over the four years of editing. However, you can definitely still see changes in the way I write and the way I approach poetry by the end of the book - which was the goal. The book is centered around learning about identity, about how relationships should work, about friendships, about learning to handle mental and chronic illness, and above all, growing. There’s really no “breaking point” where everything about the way I write changes all at once, so in context, the change is almost difficult to see. So to sort of represent these changes, I’m putting a poem from the beginning, from the middle, and from the end all right next to each other (and some bonus analysis of my own poetry!).
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Call me a monster is probably the most stark change from the past to the present. I almost never rhyme my poems anymore and if I do, they’re fleeting and mostly for rhythm. The lines are also extremely short, which I only do now when it really fits - in general, I make an effort to avoid consistently short lines. I like to tell myself that it’s symbolism I did on purpose to represent how all over the place my brain was, hopping from one thought to the next, but I don’t think it’s symbolism. I think my brain was really too jumbled to have more than five words in a line.
 I also took my own poems very seriously back then - writing a poem was an Occasion, so the first letter of each of those lines is capitalized like I’m some sort of English classics major. Both stanzas are also the same length (I still do that now sometimes, but back then it was in so many of my poems that I think I thought it was a requirement). Basically, I wrote this like I was going to turn it in somewhere.
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Still pretty heavy on the capitalization here, but I definitely got more flexible with stanza length and slightly longer lines (7 whole words, yay!). This poem was somewhat of a turning point for me, basically realizing that I could not only vent through poetry, but still make it poetic and artistic in a lot of ways, and also explore contrast in my own emotions and conflicting feelings. For some reason, prior to this, I thought a poem could only be one emotion at a time, but now I think a poem can be one topic and the way multiple or conflicting emotions revolve around it. This is also one of the first poems I wrote that I was proud of from beginning to end.
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This poem isn’t totally representative of the last couple changes I want to talk about (especially line length - for being relatively recent the lines are still pretty short), but I don’t want to use too many poems that haven’t been posted online before and this one has been posted and read aloud on an Instagram live, minus one stanza I added, which I’ll get to. I also wanted to choose this one because it has a direct reference to The Universe In You and several other poems, which gives me a chance to talk about how much I love referencing my other poetry in my poetry. Buckle up, this one might be long.
By this point, I had pretty much realized that there actually aren’t any rules at all. I’ve figured out what I want to say and I’ll say it however the hell I want to - I don’t need to capitalize things unless it suits the form, I don’t have to be totally consistent, I can repeat things as much as I want. I reached back into my 15 year old angst for this one, though, so I could more properly write about the relationship in a way that made sense. 
Now, I could honestly write a whole other book about how I reference other poems in each poem, but for now I’ll just break down the ones here.
Sort of a half reference right at the beginning: I have so much to say. I bring that up in different words in so many poems, both about my relationship and my dad. This is probably because, growing up as someone who had a speech impediment (meaning I talked too much no matter how little I said because of how long it took to say it), I always felt like I never had the space to say everything I wanted. It’s brought up in at least 3 other poems.
lost signals: a direct reference to my poem Thread Unavailable:
We’re riding down a dirt road in the middle of a conversation and lost signal. Message failed.
empty spaces: a reference to The Universe In You!! Pretty much the whole reason I included this poem.
burned poems: this one is basically just a reference to all the poems in the collection that are breakup poems, or poems where I directly addressed my ex saying don’t read this, you don’t have to read this, I shouldn’t have written this, etc. Specifically, A Long and Lonely Letter, Tired Eyed (The Homecoming Poem), and The Poem That Shouldn’t Exist.
another July come and gone and I didn’t write about you: this reference is hard to really understand the context of unless you know me in real life, but in two other poems I mention the month of July, in a couple others I reference summer, but there are dozens of poems that didn’t make it into my cut of the collection that talk about July. Basically, in context of the relationship, it was the only time we were actually happy and we split up and got back together over and over trying to replicate that fleeting, 30 day feeling that was overtaken by school, seasonal depression, and our own instability as people. For so long, all I could think about was that one month, and that line was my way of showing how I was done writing about it.
you told me, once, that we’re soulmates: this entire little stanza is directly copied from Tired Eyed (The Homecoming Poem). In order to continue talking about it I’ll throw a piece of that here:
If you want to come back, be sure of me. Be sure of yourself. I don’t want to be a consequence of your impulses.
You told me, once, that we’re soulmates. That once you find a person you want to spend forever with, it feels like nothing else matters. Do you believe that like I do?
That’s just a really short chunk of a really long poem, but basically the re-use of that section goes to say that me truly believing nothing else mattered was not good and extremely unhealthy. I put it there even though the poem was just fine without it because I really wanted to get that message across, especially since most of my target audience falls between middle and high school.
I know love in so many shades and I give it in every color: this references a couple different poems that aren’t in the collection, but in terms of the book, it’s a reference to Red, Like You, which is about color association and love and stuff? I I still don’t totally get it. I say in the poem that I don’t totally get it. No one totally gets it, but all in all I went from loving just one person in just one way to loving everyone in tons of different ways and realizing that those other types of love are just as, if not more, fulfilling to me, and that romance is not the be-all end-all of love and happiness.
All the other references are repetitions so I’ve pretty much already explained those. But anyway, that’s my book! It has 77 poems total, quite a few of them more than a page, and some that are probably several pages once in paperback format because, you know, I never shut up. Since I did my mini beta reading round (I got a lot of necessary feedback but that was so much to keep track of, I’ll probably just get a couple feedback partners next time), I’ve cut 34 poems and added 16 newer ones, edited the crap out of the whole book, and gotten the perspective of a professional editor.
 This book, even though there’s a lot of it I’ve grown out of, is super important to me and it��s so hard to let it go. Part of me wants to keep this book going forever and just keep growing until it has thousands of poems, but all of these “character arcs” in my life are finished. I left my toxic relationship and friendships, I figured out my gender and sexuality, I learned how to love openly, I cut off my dad for good. There’s obviously always more to learn about my relationships with these other people and myself, and I do that unconsciously every day. But in all honesty, I have nothing left to say about these people or events that would change the conclusions I’ve already come to - they would only further prove them to be true.
I absolutely always want to talk about this book, so if you have any questions, send an ask! Also feel free to scroll through the poetry tag on my blog and ask me about any poems I have posted there, there are a few that I’ve written since the completion of the collection that’ll (most likely) end up in whatever I write next. Basically, I’m obsessed with poetry and want to talk about it all the time. Please ask me about it.
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softspiderling · 5 years
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things you left unsaid | t.h.
anonymous said: Hi! I wanted to ask if you cud write about being friends with tom but you develop feeling for him.            
anonymous said: 1.) things you said at 1 am from the the things you said prompt list With Tom x reader please (:            
→ 1. Things you said at 1 am from this prompt list
Summary: having casual sex with Tom despite having feelings for him? What could go wrong?
Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader
Song I listened to while writing: Umbrella by Rihanna
Author’s Note: I hope you don’t mind that I kind of mushed these two requests together. I didn’t mean for it to happen. IDK why but I really really liked writing this. I hope you like reading it just as much! Leave a comment/ask to let me know what you think ;)
Warnings: mentions of alcohol, some smut if you squint
Word Count: 3,7k
Masterlist
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gif is not mine!
You kicked your feet up on the dashboard as the landscape flew past you in the car, the sun warming against your skin and the sky an amazing shade of blue. The day honestly could not get any better.
“I can’t believe we’re finally doing our road trip. I feel like we’ve been planning this since we’ve met in kindergarten,” you told your best friend Katie.
“I know right? It’s a miracle that we both found the time to take this trip,” she said, pushing her shades higher on her nose. “You want to make some music?”
“Yeah sure,” you hummed, sitting up straight to connect the cord to your phone, Rihanna’s voice booming into the car.
“When sun shines we shine together, told you I’d be here forever, said I’ll always be your friend. Took an oath, imma stick it out till the end.”
“Hey can you turn it down a bit? It’s really loud,” Katie asked and you nodded, turning the volume down. But instead of getting quieter, the music got louder and you had to cover up your ears.
“Umbrella, ella ella, eh eh eh. Under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh eh eh eh eeh.“
“Oh my god,” you groaned, when you turned in your bed, smashing your face into the pillow. You just had the greatest dream and some jerk woke you up from it because he had to call you in the middle of the night. 
When the song finally stopped playing, you sighed in relief, getting comfortable and trying to fall back asleep. But an incoming notification lit up your phone screen with a loud ‘PING’ and then the song started again.
“When the sun shines we shine together, told you I’d be here forev-“
“Oh my god, WHAT?” you snapped as soon as you picked up the phone.
“Y/N?” a slightly slurred voice spoke.
“What do you want Tom?” you asked annoyed, immediately recognizing his voice despite the loud music in the background (and of course knowing that Umbrella was his ringtone). “It’s half past twelve am. You know I have to work tomorrow.”
“I’m at the club right now and Matthew ditched me,” Tom yelled into the phone, stumbling over his words.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you muttered.
“Can you please come pick me up?”
“Are you serious right now?”
You pinched your nose, starting to get annoyed, though if this had happened a year ago, you wouldn’t have hesitated to go pick him up. But last summer the dynamic of your friendship had shifted quite a bit.
Your feet laid in Tom’s lap while you were snacking on some candy he had brought from his last visit in the states. You were watching How I met your mother while Tom was dicking around on his phone.
You popped in another piece of Reese’s in your mouth, while Ted and Robin were all over each other because of a carton of milk, when you felt Tom nudging your feet.
“Do you really think people can have sex without feelings attached?” he asked and you raised an eyebrow at him. You hadn’t even thought he was watching with you, since all his attention was directed at his phone. Or so you thought.
“I don’t know,” you said with a shrug, turning back to the tv. “I mean, obviously I never have done it. All examples I’ve seen are from movies or tv shows and it never ends well, so.”
“But they’re movies and tv shows. Most of things that happens on screen is not real,” he pointed out and you narrowed your eyes at him, watching him closely.
He was fidgety, and actively not looking at you. Something was up.
“Yeah, things like you fighting Ant-Man. That’s not real. But sex without feelings attached not working out seems real to me,” you said and poked his cheek with your finger.
“Where’s this coming from?”
He shrugged, his cheeks pink. “Ihaven’thadsexinhalfayearandIreallyneedsome.”
You put a hand behind your ear.
“I’m sorry. What was that?”
Tom sighed and ran a hand through his hair, which made it even messier. You had spent the whole time on your couch since Tom came to your place, and you were pretty sure he wasn’t doing anything before he came over. But you didn’t mind, he looked pretty cute with his hair sticking in every direction.
Not that you would ever tell him that. You were sure you weren’t supposed to think that way about a friend.
“I haven’t gotten laid in six months,” he admitted and your eyes widened slightly, before you realized you weren’t actually that surprised. He’s been busy for the past few months and hadn’t gotten the time to date anyone. Plus you knew he didn’t like sleeping around, especially not now that he’s famous. So, he was on a dry spell. Big deal.
“And you’re telling me this, because…?”
“Because I knew you haven’t had sex in a few months either,” Tom replied and you flushed, glaring at him.
“That’s not true!” you protested weakly. It was very much true. Between work and trying to balance your social life with your family and friends, there just hasn’t been anytime for your love life. Or sex, for that matter.
“You shave your legs  for one-night stands,” he pointed out, running his hand over your prickly legs. “And you broke up with that Josh before Christmas, so.”
Slapping his hand away, you pulled your feet from his lap, tucking them underneath you as you sat up on the couch with a frown, mad at Tom for noticing the small stuff, but at the same time, you’re kind of touched.
“Fine. Whatever,” you muttered. “Still doesn’t explain why you’re bringing this topic up.”
“I guess I was just thinking if that friends with benefits thing could work. You know. Between us.”
“Come again?” you asked, not believing what you just heard. Did Tom really just suggest for you guys to have sex? Platonically?
“I mean, I was just thinking it could work,” Tom argued and you stared at him, before reaching out to feel his forehead.
“What are you doing?” he asked, swatting your hand away.
“Just checking if you’re feverish, because you’re being delusional.” You said and he gave you a look. “What? You know this is highly out of character for you, right? I mean, friends with benefits? Really? Since when are you into meaningless sex?”
Tom reached out to take your hands in his. “That’s the thing, though. It wouldn’t be meaningless with you. You’re one of my best friends.”
You eyed your clasped hands wearily. You know you probably shouldn’t agree to this, especially not with the budding feelings you could feel coming.
“But why me?”
“Because I think you’re hot,” Tom blurted out, his cheeks flushing and your eyebrows rose, almost disappearing into your hairline.
“You think I am hot?”
“Yeah, ‘course I do. You’re fit, Y/N,” he said and you huffed, feeling your cheeks heat up.
“And why would I want to have sex with you?” you asked, deflecting. You knew this was not going to end well.
He gave you a look. “Because you haven’t had sex in a while and you think I’m hot.”
You scoffed and pushed his chest. “Please. I don’t think you’re hot.”
“I’ve seen you stare at my chest when you think I’m not looking,” he pointed out and you snorted, shaking your head vigorously.
“You’ve got a really big head, T. I don’t stare at your chest, or at you, for that matter.”
Tom sighed and reached behind his back, pulling his shirt off with one swift motion.
“W-what are you doing?” you stuttered as he sat shirtless across of you. You kept your eyes on his, but couldn’t help one quick glance towards his bare chest. Oh who were you even kidding? He was stupid hot.
“Fine,” you growled. “I think you’re hot. But do you really think this is a good idea, though?”
“A great idea, actually,” He said, nodding. “I’m away a lot, so there won’t even be any time for it to become awkward or for one of us to get feelings.”
But what if there already are feelings?
“And if one of us starts dating someone or it starts affecting our friendship, we stop. Easy-peasy,” Tom stated and you pursed your lips, still unconvinced.
“I don’t know Tom…”
“Oh come on, Y/N,” he said softly, his hand reaching out to tug you closer, his breath fanning across your cheeks.
You gulped in a breath, your eyes darting between his eyes and his lips. You were torn.
“I know you want this,” Tom mumbled, his fingers slipping beneath your shirt, stroking, no, caressing the skin of your waist gently. It was weird how he could change from jumpy and nervous to smooth, and seductive in a span of seconds.
“If it affects our friendship, we stop?” you asked and a smile spread on his face.
“We stop. Easy-peasy.”
“Easy-peasy,” you mumbled and leaned in, your lips touching his in a kiss that would be followed by many more.
And honestly, it’s all been downhill ever since.
While it was true, that Tom was away a lot for work, he still found the time to come over just to hang out with you or have sex.
You’ve never noticed how much time you actually spent with him until you started having sex almost every time you guys hung out. Another thing you had sworn to each other was to never tell anyone about this, knowing your friends would judge you.
You’ve already denied numerous allegations from Harry and Sam, asking if there was anything going on between you and their older brother. And you always told them off, god forbid a girl was only friends with a guy without anything else going on. It usually shut them right up and sometimes you felt bad, because they were right after all. But you never ever going to tell anyone about this.
Especially because you were friends with the twins long before you were introduced to Tom. You used to be in the same class as the twins and since Tom went to Brit school, you didn’t even know him until you started hanging out at the Holland’s home.
You were fifteen and he was 18 when you first met him, and despite your age difference, he soon became a big part of your life and continued to do so, even after his career skyrocketed after his first appearance as Peter Parker in Civil War. You even had a feeling that his part in your life became bigger when he got more famous, because your friendship kept him grounded, just as much as his family or his best friend Harrison did.
Harrison, from whom Tom had to keep quiet about this, because he had promised you, and you knew it was hard for him because those boys shared everything about their lives with each other. But you (literally) had him by the balls when you made him swear to keep his mouth shut.
But now you really wished you’d told someone, because this was killing you and you really needed advice. What did it mean when he was stroking through your hair gently with his one hand, while the other rubbed small circles on your skin, just mere minutes after he’s fucked you roughly on the couch? Friends usually didn’t do that, right?
Even though you knew that you were supposed to end this- whatever this was, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Even worse, you found yourself longing for more, catching yourself glaring at his back when pretty girls chatted him up at a crowded bar, even though you had no right to feel any jealousy, because he wasn’t yours.
You knew that. Your brain knew that. The only one that was apparently out of the loop was your treacherous heart.
The same treacherous heart that skipped a beat after hearing Tom add a quiet: “I miss you.”
Guilt gnawed on your conscience.
Lately you’ve been avoiding him, pushing him away because you were a coward, too scared to face your feelings.
But it wasn’t fair to Tom.
“Fine. I’ll be there in ten. Don’t move, okay?” you said, throwing your blanket off. “And drink lots of water.”
Fifteen minutes later, you pulled up in front of the newest club in town and you could hear the loud music, even with your windows closed. Seeing a crowd close to the entrance of the club, you wondered if Tom was in the center of it but as the crowd dispersed, you couldn’t catch his face. Roaming your gaze in your surroundings, you were surprised to see that Tom was standing at the far end of the building, leaning against the wall, his face only illuminated by his phone.
He hasn’t spotted you yet and it gave you the chance to watch him for a bit.
Tom’s hair was styled once, you could see that, but by now it was slightly mussed, as if he’d run his hand through it too many times. The sleeves of his white shirt strained against his bicep and the hem of it was tucked slightly in his black pants which, in turn, were tucked neatly into his boots. He was swaying slightly, even though he was standing, told you, that he’d done some tequila shots, a small wedge of lime stuck to his forearm confirming your theory.
Dumbass wasn’t even wearing a jacket.
With a sigh, you grabbed his denim jacket, which he had borrowed you that one time you forgot your own and got out of the car, heading towards him.
“Are you trying to get ill?” you asked and he squinted his eyes at you when he looked up, before his face broke out in a smile.
Thump.
Your heartbeat quickened at the sight of his smile.
“’m not cold,” Tom insisted and you rolled your eyes at him, reaching out to flick the lime wedge off his arm, handing him his jacket.
He quickly shrugged it on and wrapped his arms around you, sighing softly.
Thump. Thump.
There it was again.
“Sorry I woke you,” he mumbled and you leaned your head on his chest, hearing his heart beat slow and steady, a stark contrast to your own heartbeat.
“Didn’t know who else to call.”
What about Harrison, you thought. Sam? Harry? Apparently none of them were available.
“It’s okay,” you heard yourself say, your hands tucked underneath his jacket, splayed across his back, his body radiating off heat.
Tom sniffed and buried his face in your neck, breathing in deeply.
“You smell nice,” he mumbled and you pulled away, only to be met with a dopey smile on his face.
“Alright, let’s get you home, come on.”
You nudged him gently and he reached down to lace his hand with yours, his thumb stroking over the back of your hand.
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.
Your heart beat wildly against your ribcage, despite you forcing it to calm down.
Traitor.
You squeezed his hand in question, but kept holding on either way. “What’s this about?”
“Don’t wanna get lost.”
Shaking your head, you lead him over to your car and got in the driver’s seat, while he climbed into the passengers seat, buckling himself up.
“Do you want to get some food or go straight home?” you asked as you turned your key in the ignition, with a glance to your left.
“Home,” he said and you pulled away from the curb, driving towards his house in Kingston. Even though it was nearing one am, the traffic was still quite busy, forcing you to focus on the street. You weren’t the best at night driver, and you openly admitted that.
Shortly, your car rolled to a stop in front of his house and you put the car in neutral while Tom unbuckled himself next to you.
“Alright, out with you, T. I have an early morning,” you said and he frowned at you.
“You’re not coming in?”
You leaned your chin in your hand, shaking your head. “Did you not hear what I just said?”
Pouting, Tom reached back to buckle himself back up again.
“What are you doing Tom?” you asked, exasperated. You really didn’t have the time to be patient with him right now.
“Going home,” he replied easily, looking at you with expectant eyes.
Groaning, you leaned your head against your steering wheel, breathing out deeply.
“You are home!” you exclaimed, rubbing over your eyes. You were tired, annoyed and he was starting to piss you off A LOT. You hadn’t thought that he was that drunk.
“No, you are my home,” Tom said bluntly and you inhaled sharply, staring at him.
“What?”
He shrugged and gave you a soft smile. “You are my home, so I’m going where you’re going,” he said and you swallowed thickly, unsure if it was his intoxication talking or if he was being honest. But his eyes were so open and earnest, it almost broke you.
“Okay then,” you mumbled, starting the car again. “But no funny business,” you told him when he put his hand on your thigh.
“I really do have to work early tomorrow morning.”
He nodded quickly and you scoffed before starting your drive home, his warm hand on your thigh constantly reminding you of his presence.
When you finally arrived at your apartment complex, Tom was quick to climb out and you followed him.
“You okay?” you asked him as he threw his around your shoulder while you walked to your door.
“Fine. Just tired,” he mumbled and you shook your head fondly at him, fumbling around with your keys to unlock your door. Tom was toeing his shoes off while you locked the door behind you, leaning against the doorway of the living room while he waited for you, his eyes drooping.
“Why don’t you go ahead to the bedroom? I’ll be right here,” you told him and he nodded sleepily, padding the familiar way towards your bedroom.
You headed to the kitchen to grab him a bottle of water and some Advil, knowing he was going to need it in the morning before you followed him in your bedroom.
Tom had turned the small lamp on your nightstand on, a soft orange glow was illuminating the room. You stood in the doorway and you could see his clothes neatly folded on your drawer, while he was wrapped in your blanket; you presumed he was only in his boxers, his usual attire for the night.
“Stop starin’. It’s creepy,” he mumbled and you snorted, putting his stuff down on the nightstand.
“Shut up and go to sleep.”
He only grumbled in reply and you stripped down to your underwear, slipping on an old t shirt before you crawled into bed yourself.
“Can’t sleep without you,” Tom whispered and your breath stocked in your throat, before you settled against him as he wrapped his arm around your waist. “You’re a little shit,” you told him in a hushed voice and he smiled, kissing you on the cheek.
“Your little shit,” he murmured and soon small snores filled the room. You looked down at him with a small sigh, stroking through his hair.
“What am I going to do with you?”
Shaking your head, you reached for your phone to text your boss you’d be in a little bit later in the morning, before you laid down to get some sleep.
The next morning, you woke up to rustling in the bed, groaning internally. You could feel Tom moving around next to you, but you kept your eyes shut, wondering what he was going to do.
He sat up and looked around the room, looking at your sleeping figure. “Shit,” he mumbled and rubbed at his eyes, yawning.
Tom laid back down and scooted up against your back, fingers trailing on your sides. “I know you’re awake,” he whispered in his raspy morning voice, pressing a soft kiss on your neck.
“You don’t know shit,” you replied and turned in his arms to look at him. His eyes were still half lidded and his hair was sticking in every direction. You’d laugh if it was any other morning. “You were a mess last night.”
“I know. Sorry. ” He ducked his head, his cheeks flushing. “Do you want to grab breakfast before you have to go to work?”
“I’d rather talk about what you said about me being your home last night,” you pointed out and he flared his nostrils, turning away from you.
“You’re always telling me that what we’re doing is strictly platonic and then you say things like last night? What the fuck Tom?”
He ran his hand through his messy hair and clenched his jaw before he met your eyes again.
“I’m in love with you, Y/N.”
Your eyes widened at his confession and your heart stuttered, before you composed yourself.
“I’m just…” Tom broke off, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I thought it was better for the both of us if we kept this casual. If I’d be in a relationship with you, I’d want to give you everything I had, which I can’t. I’m away all the time and the time difference would make it even harder and I-… I thought if I couldn’t have all of you, I wanted at least part of you. But it somehow was even worse, and I dunno.”
He grew quiet and dropped his gaze, fiddling with his hands.
“You’re an idiot,” you told him fondly and his eyes snapped up to yours.
“Every relationship is hard, you always have to put work in order for the relationship to work, we don’t live in a fairy tale,” you said, reaching out to push the hair out of his face.
“I’ve been pushing you away lately because I thought it’d help me cope with my feelings for you, but you always manage to worm your way back into my life.”
Tom grinned at you and placed a kiss on your palm when you patted his cheek.
“I am willing to put in the hard work if you are.”
His eyes lit up and he nodded, grabbing you by your wrist to pull you closer to him, having you land on top of him with a shriek.
“Anything for you.”
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purplesurveys · 3 years
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Basic Information
What's your name? Name’s already posted on my Tumblr but so that nobody has to check that anymore, Robyn.
Where do you live? I live in some city east of Manila, and that’s all you need to know.
When's your birthday? April 21st.
What's your astrological sign? Taurus.
Do you actually believe in that stuff? Never did.
How old are you? 22.
Do you have a high school diploma or the equivalent? Yeah I got a diploma.
Do you have an undergraduate degree? If so, in what? Yup. I’ve graduated but I haven’t received the diploma nor did I get to walk on a stage because of the stupid virus, but I majored in journalism.
What is your favorite...
Quote? I don’t have any. My brain doesn’t really store quotes for me to go back to; I don’t find the majority of them interesting.
Color? My main favorite is pink, but I enjoy looking at pastel shades and muted colors in general too.
Song? Picking an all-time favorite song is impossible, but for now I really like putting Hayley Williams’ Why We Ever on repeat. It used to be just a sad song that I love listening to but unfortunately the lyrics have since become relatable, so now there’s a sting whenever I hear it.
Band/singer? My favorite bands are Paramore and Against Me! while my favorite solo act is Beyoncé.
Book? I never had one. I was a big bookworm as a kid, but I didn’t get to keep it up as a teenager and now as an adult. Most of the books I own today are still just the novels I had nearly a decade ago, and it’s been a struggle trying to find a genre to get into.
Author? Same situation as book.
School subject? History. A lot of the social sciences are also great – anthropology, pol sci, psychology, etc. In another universe I definitely would’ve taken up a degree in a social science instead of journalism.
Science (chemistry, biology, physics, etc.)? Biology has always been a strength of mine and a favorite. I find memorizing terms fun, and I’ve always enjoyed studying living things instead of chemicals or energy or force or any of that boring stuff. 
Math (algebra, geometry, calculus, etc.)? Advanced algebra is fun. So is geometry, but only as long as you know all the formulas and theories; otherwise it’s so easy to fail it.
Language? I don’t have one. I think all languages are individually beautiful.
Operating system? Wow this is random lol. macOS, I guess. It’s what I’m using.
Instrument? I like the sound of many instruments, but in the grand scheme of things the piano has to be my absolute favorite.
Letter? I don’t pick a favorite letter.
Number? 4.
Car? I don’t know the first thing about cars but I suppose my dream car is a Mini Countryman, if that counts as a favorite. I swoon every time I see one in real life; they’re just so pretty to look at.
Pattern (polka spots, stripes, plaid, etc.)? Stripes are my cup of tea, but polka dots are also cute.
Word? The word that’s been my favorite for a while is ‘poignant.’
Animal? I love animals, but I’m biased to dogs and elephants. :)
Country? I don’t have a favorite country. That’s a pretty odd favorite but *shrug* I guess some people have theirs.
Drink (alcoholic or otherwise)? Water, milkshakes, and cocktails.
Food? Sushi, curry, cheeseburgers, and macarons. You can’t make me go with just one choice when it comes to food, my dude.
Restaurant? Yabu and Torch.
Website? I rely a lot on YouTube for my sanity these days so it’d be fair to call that my favorite, at least for the meantime.
Sport? If it counts, pro wrestling. If it doesn’t, I like playing table tennis and watching volleyball and tennis.
Flower? Peonies, roses, and sunflowers.
Ice cream flavor? Cookies and cream is a classic.
Television show? Breaking Bad is my favorite ever, but I also enjoy Friends, The Crown, and Bojack Horseman, and at one point The Walking Dead before it got honestly boring.
Shirt? I don’t really have a favorite shirt, but my favorite type to wear is anything sleeveless. I like giving my skin air to breathe, lol.
Shape? I don’t pick favorite shapes.
Eye color? Olive is beautiful.
Hair color? I’m indifferent to hair colors. Whatever suits a person.
Movie? Two for the Road and Good Will Hunting.
Gum flavor? Fruity ones.
Random Stuff About You
Do you have your drivers' license? Yeah. I had to get it as soon as I graduated high school because no one else was going to be able to bring me to school in college. I was in driving school like a week or two after marching on stage for my high school diploma haha.
Have you ever been swimming in an ocean? I don’t know if I have. In the vacations I’ve had, I don’t really keep track if I’m swimming in a sea or if I’m already in one of the oceans.
What's the last song you listened to? No clue but it was probably something by Hayley.
Do you prefer coloring pencils, crayons, or markers? Coloring pencils! I miss coloring. I just can’t see myself going back to it at the moment because I had bought a really cheap set of coloring pencils that have to be sharpened every five minutes. During my coloring phase I’m pretty sure I spent more time sharpening my pencils than actually filling in my coloring books. I’ve yet to find a replacement set with better quality.
Can you make any origami figures? If so, what? I’m terrible at origami and have always been. Even if I’m given a one-on-one session, I’ll for sure get lost early on in the process.
Do you still sleep with a stuffed animal? I never did. I always preferred pillows.
Do you get cold easily? I do haha, but I don’t mind it. I’d rather shiver or have my teeth chatter than have a pool of sweat on the back of my shirt from being too hot.
Have you ever been to a chiropractor? Nope.
Do you have great eyesight, or do you wear glasses or contacts? It’s very poor. I’ve had glasses since I was 11, but I needed them a lot earlier, like since I was 8 or 9 maybe. My mom refused to believe me when I started telling her my vision was getting worse because she legitimately thought I just wanted glasses to look like other kids. God, how shitty was that parenting? I can’t believe I just fucking let that go as a kid. My eyesight was getting increasingly blurry by the day and I stopped learning at school and her worry was that I wanted to fit in. I’m gonna get more stressed and hurt if I continue to think about this, so let’s just move on...
Do you know how to play chess? Never learned. I’ve watched my cousin play and he tried to teach me so many times, but I just never understood.
Do you know how to play checkers? At one point I think I did, but I didn’t enjoy it.
Do you like Sudoku puzzles? No. I never got the hang of that game either.
Do you like word searches? Love them.
Do you like crossword puzzles? They’re fine but the ones on our newspapers are too hard and use too many references or plays on words that I’m not able to pick up.
Do you like logic puzzles? It’s a hit or miss.
Can you play any card games? Other than solitaire, no.
Do you play board games? Hmm I played some as a kid, but I’ve always been too competitive and I’m never able to just sit down and have a friendly game so I’m not too big on board games now. I’m a lot happier sitting on the sidelines and watching my friends play because it’s more entertaining that way.
Do you do jigsaw puzzles? Not normally but I’ve been thinking of investing in one of those 1000-piece puzzles to take my mind off of things whenever I get depressed or when my mind starts to think about things it shouldn’t.
Do you listen to the same song on repeat for a long time, even occasionally? Yes. Sometimes I do it on purpose when I’m REALLY feeling a certain song at the moment; other times I don’t even realize the repeat button is turned on and I don’t notice I’ve been listening to the same song over and over.
Do you take any prescription medications on a regular basis? Nope.
Would you prefer to be too hot or too cold? I’ve said this a few questions ago, but too cold.
Do you like to swim? Sure. Being in the water calms me down instantly.
Have you ever been to a farm? I’ve probably been. I just can’t pinpoint a certain memory right now.
Do you like instrumental music? Depends on what the genre is, but I do generally prefer instrumental music when I’m working or have to focus.
Do you drink diet soda? Nope.
Do you drink soda? Andddddd nope.
Have you ever put Mentos into soda? I haven’t but I know what it does. There’s already like a million videos of other people doing it so I don’t need to do it for myself. 
Have you ever combined baking soda and vinegar? No.
Did you ever make Oobleck in science class when you were a kid? We never did and I learned about oobleck from watching a Good Mythical Morning episode, not in school. But I’ve always been curious as to what the texture is because it looks so fun to touch hahaha. I’d try making it myself but idk if we ever have cornstarch at home.
Do you know any HTML? Yes. Early days of Tumblr, man. People customized their themes and text posts all the time.
Have you ever read any of Shakespeare's work? Well, yeah. I had to read four of them - one for each year in high school.
Do you write poetry? No.
Do you read? Occasionally. A lot less than I used to.
Can you throw a frisbee? Sure. My friends and I played back in high school.
Do you watch a lot of television? Eh, not really. It’s rare that I discover a TV series I’m willing to invest in; I’ve always preferred movies since they can tell me a story within 2-3 hours. Following an ongoing show is just exhausting.
Do you think that you have a good sense of humor? Humor is subjective. I could mesh well with certain people but others might not find my sense of humor funny. I don’t think either of those can determine if my sense of humor is good or not.
Are you a mean person? Well, I try not to be...I think that’s what most people strive to do.
Do you have any bruises? If so, how did you get them? I have one on my knee because a few days ago I knelt to the floor to try to look for something under my bed, and I ended up landing on the floor quite hard and it was purple in minutes lmao. It’s mostly healed now though and I can barely tell where it is.
Does the thought of public speaking make you nervous? It only does if I ultimately also have to pitch something, because I don’t consider myself persuasive at all. But if I had had something memorized or had enough practice or if it’s a topic I’m fairly knowledgable about then I don’t have much of a problem with it.
Are you afraid of heights? It doesn’t bother me as much as other things and I’ve always wanted to go to the top floor of those towers where the floor is glass lol, but like I’d absolutely piss my pants if I found myself standing on a tightrope between two really tall buildings.
So, what ARE you afraid of? Flying cockroaches, plane crashes, and fire.
Are you listening to music? No.
Has anyone ever called you 'disturbed'? I don’t think so, at least not to my face.
Have you ever been kicked out of a place? If so, where? And why? Yeah. From a McDonald’s, but it was my noisy friends’ fault. I knew they were being loud (they were playing some card game) so I just stayed at the very edge of our table, pretended not to be associated with them and waited for a customer to complain about us lol. Normally I’d speak up and tell friends if they’re being too immature, but in that friend group in particular I was the shyest and didn’t really hold a lot of influence so I didn’t have much of a choice.
Do you take a lot of these surveys? Yeah I have this entire blog dedicated to just them, and even before this account I had another survey blog.
When was the last time you fingerpainted? No idea. Kindergarten maybe? If we even ever did?
When was the last time you sent an e-mail? Yesterday afternoon.
A text message? 1 AM earlier.
Called someone on the phone? I think it was around two weeks ago.
Tripped over something? I’m sure I tripped over Kimi fairly recently, like sometime this week.
Do you like chocolate? Sure but on its own it can be too sweet for me, like the Hershey’s milk chocolate bar. I do love chocolate-flavored stuff or if it’s incorporated into other meals or snacks, like chocolate chip cookies.
How many pillows are on your bed? Right now there aren’t any because I brought the two pillows, that I do normally have on my bed, to my desk where I’m currently sitting at.
Do you have any pets? Yeah one of them is licking their balls behind me. The other one is probably playing with their toys downstairs and miraculously being quiet this morning.
Have you ever been on a horse? Yep.
Have you ever climbed a tree? I don’t think so. Most trees here have fire ants anyway.
Do you like art? Sure do.
Do you use any sort of social networking site? I mean normally yeah, but I’ve deactivated all my accounts for the meantime. Depression is a bitch. I’m no longer updated on the news nor am I familiar with the trendy memes anymore but idk, this seems to be the healthiest thing for me right now.
What time is it? 9:11 AM.
Have you ever been in a car accident? Super minor ones where the car I was in only got a paint scratch or, at worst, a dent or two.
When was the last time you felt embarrassed? Yesterday when I almost sent a message talking about a certain person to that certain person. It was nothing mean, but I was horrified nonetheless.
Did it rain today? No. I’m not sure if it will but I hope it does.
Have you ever had a poison ivy rash? No. When was the last time you felt immensely happy? LOL Do you take a multivitamin or any other supplement? We have vitamin C tablets at home but I’m so bad at taking them. What household chore do you absolutely hate? Washing rags. Not really a chore, but once they get all dirty and I have to clean them up it just feels so icky and ueughdhffgbduifhsuf Tell me something random about yourself. I’ve won a couple of spicy noodle speed eating challenges. Can you cook? No, but I’d love to learn. Do you like to be silly? I’m a little more serious than silly for the most part...but when I’m in the right mood at the right time with the right crowd, I can be silly too. What kinds of things have you wanted to be 'when you grow up'? The first was astronaut. Then I came across this interview with a veterinarian and I wanted to be one too. Lastly, a firefigher. Have you ever been on a boat? Yeah, lots of times. Sometimes it’s the only way to get to certain provinces or cities in the country so we’ve had to take boats for a few trips. Do/did you like school? For the most part, yes. I like that I made a lot of friends in school and I don’t have complaints about learning. What I hated the most about school is the scheduling, I guess. In my first school I had to wake up at 5 AM everyday to catch the school bus; and then in college I had to take several 7 AM classes and those were just the biggest, most inconvenient bitches. I also did not enjoy the concept of Catholic school. Do you have a camera? I used to have a DSLR but I’ve since handed it down to my sister since she’s taking up film. The camera on my phone works just fine. Have you ever been bitten by a tick? I don’t think so.
Have you ever seen a wild snake? I don’t really know what counts as a ‘wild’ snake but I’ve handled and held snakes before. Have you ever gone hiking in the woods? Hmm I’ve gone hiking, but not in the woods. Do you have a lot of friends? There’s a lot of people I can call friends, yes. We aren’t constantly in touch, though. All my friendships are super low-maintenance which I appreciate. Do you keep a diary/journal/blog? I have a journal and this blog where I write my thoughts and emotions down. What color are your eyes? Dark brown. Answering this yet again this week... Do you like snow? I’ve never experienced it so I can’t say. I think I would enjoy snow though. I feel that I’d be able to find comfort in it, like rain. Would you prefer to sing or dance in front of other people? Both sound awful. But I’d go with sing because at least I don’t have to move my body as much. Would you prefer to sing or dance when you're by yourself? Sing.
Can you spell really well? I’d say I can. I was really inspired by the movie Akeelah and the Bee as a kid and that made me want to be constantly good at spelling. Do you mind poor grammar? If it’s coming from a native speaker of whatever language, yeah. Like people who can only speak English but still use ‘would of’ or ‘I could care less.’ I’m more forgiving towards people who speak one language, or those who are speaking in a language they know they aren’t 100% fluent in. What's your favorite texting/IM abbreviation? I don’t have one. ‘lol’ I guess? It’s convenient. Do you wear a watch? No. Do you shop at thrift stores? Sometimes, if I find their offers interesting enough for me to want to go inside. What is your dream job? It’s pretty straightforward but it’d be nice to be able to work my way up and end up as an executive at a PR or media agency that I look up to. What is one thing that really freaks you out? Charlie Kaufman movies. Do you like bananas? They’re okay. I don’t hate bananas as aggressively as I do other fruits. Do you eat meat? Yes. Do you drink coffee? Yuh. I can go for a cup right now, actually...maybe when I finish this survey. Do you clean your computer screen often? Not often. Just every once in a while or once I start seeing too many smudges. Have you ever sneezed onto your computer screen? Probably.
Let's talk about numbers.
How many people live with you?
Four. We also have two animals.
136+95=...?
231. That’s essentially 136 + 100 - 5.
How many digits of pi do you have memorized?
Just the first five.
Can you count using binary numbers?
No. Never understood those, not interested enough to start learning.
How many states have you visited?
Zero.
How many countries?
Six. Would’ve been seven or even eight if Covid never blew up. I know my dad mentioned there were plans for us to go to Vietnam this year, and I also asked for a Thailand trip as a graduation present. Damn bat soup or whatever it was.
How many browser windows/tabs do you have open?
I have three Chrome windows in total. On the one I’m on, there are 13 tabs.
How many times have you blinked in the past minute?
I dunno, I never count that?
How many seconds are in a minute?
60.
Are you afraid of mathematics?
Calculus and trig, yeah. The other ones aren’t so bad.
What's the square root of 121? 11.
Sorry, sorry, the nightmare is over :) How about some more random questions to let you relax?
Have you ever read the webcomic xkcd?
I doubt it. I don’t think I’ve heard of it before.
Can you play an instrument?
Barely.
Can you read sheet music?
Not a chance.
What's your favorite kind of sandwich?
Monte Cristo! Omg, that sounds so good right now :( Banh mi is great too.
Do you have a bedtime?
Not strictly but I always try to get 7-8 hours of sleep on weeknights so that I’m sufficiently energized for work the next day.
Have you ever gone sledding?
No, I haven’t.
Have you ever carved a pumpkin? If so, what kind of face did you make?
Also no.
Do you ever make funny faces at yourself in the mirror?
I guess it’s happened before, but it’s not a regular occurrence.
Have you ever played the classic shaving-cream-in-the-hand prank on someone?
No.
Do you think that's a mean thing to do?
I don’t think that prank in particular is since shaving cream is harmless, but some pranks can definitely go too far which is why I’m generally not a fan of them.
Do you like cake?
Only very certain types. I can think of more cakes that I don’t like than the ones I can never get tired of.
Do you like pie?
Just savory ones, like chicken pot pie. Those are more up my alley than sweet pies, which are for the most part stuffed with a kind of fruit.
Do you like popsicles?
Sure, they’re refreshing.
Do you use the television or computer more?
Laptop.
Do you have a favorite chair to sit in?
Not really lolAre you getting tired of this survey?
It’s lengthy but I knew about it when I started this so I can’t complain about that; and the questions haven’t been annoying too so no, I wouldn’t say I’m tired of it.
Do you like to wear hats? When I have the chance to, yeah. They’re never a must for me though.
Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
Most of the time no. Oops.
Do your shoes provide lots of arch support?
I...don’t know. I don’t really pay attention.
Do you like to go to yard sales? I haven’t gone to one since I was a kid.
Have you ever had a yard sale at your house? I don’t think we ever did.
Do you like apples? I like some apple-flavored things like juice or candy. I can’t stand the actual fruit but y’all know that by now, haha.
Do you like peanut butter? Yessssssss. I love peanut butter and any peanut butter-flavored food.
Do you like licorice? Not really. They’re not common here so I don’t seek it out.
Do you like lima beans? It doesn’t sound like something I’d enjoy.
Do you like limes? Not particularly.
What color are your bedroom walls? White.
Guess how many questions you've done. I don't know either, so just guess. Before clicking on it I saw it had 200 or so questions, so I’m guessing we’re at the 180 or 190 mark considering how many questions are left below this.
What's your favorite color to wear? I feel prettiest in dark green or maroon. Do you tell secrets when people confide in you? I’m not sure what this is supposed to be asking, but I’ll give two answers. (1) I don’t spill other people’s secrets when they confide in me, and (2) When people confide in me, sometimes I’ll be inspired to share a secret of my own too, especially if it’s relevant to their situation. If I don’t think it’s going to be helpful, I just keep it to myself. Do you listen to your music with the volume up really high? Only when I’m extremely upset or furious. Do you like to try new foods? Absolutely. How many different programs are you currently using? Like applications? Currently, I have Chrome, Viber, and Notes turned on. How many different operating systems have you used? I’ve gone through Windows XP, Windows Vista, Windows 8, and then whatever updates have been done on macOS since 2015 - I don’t really keep track of their names lol. What time is it now? 12:03 PM. Are you wearing socks? Nope. Are you comfortable with yourself? These days, no. Do you lose small things (like your car keys) often? Hah, yes. Is your mind in the gutter? No. Have you ever broken a bone? I haven’t. Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert? I’m a healthy mix of both, I’d say. Which is still a great improvement for me because I used to be an introvert all the way through. Do you read the dictionary for fun? I literally did this for a time right after watching Akeelah and the Bee and having that movie change my life. It made me want to join a shit ton of spelling bees, but my interest waned when I realized there weren’t any being held here.  Tater tots or fries? Fries, only because I’ve never had the first. Do you like to wear flip flops? No. The thongs irritate my skin all the time and they always give me wounds. Are you more of an optimist or pessimist? I’m normally optimistic but it’s easier to be pessimistic nowadays. Do you like animals? Yes :) Do you like little kids? If they aren’t being a giant, rude pain in the ass. Are you a 'people person'? Yes. If I can’t satisfy everyone it bothers me. Have you ever seen a rainbow? Sure. How was your day? I haven’t cried today but I’m still sad. Otherwise, I don’t have a lot of strong feelings about this day just yet. What do you plan to do tomorrow? I don’t know yet. When was the last time you did laundry? Around two or three months ago. Have you ever played Snake? On the really old Nokia phones? For sure. Have you ever played Scrabble? Yeah. I took it up for one semester as a PE, hahaha. I also played it a lot when I was younger. Are there any television commercials that really get on your nerves? At the moment no, but this has happened many times before. Do you like scary movies? Sure. Are you itchy anywhere on your body? The left side of my forehead started to feel itchy when I read this. What's the title of the last book you read? Midnight Sun. Do you read more fiction or nonfiction books? Nonfictionnnnnnn. Are you a member of any clubs or organizations? I used to be, but now I’m an alumna because I’ve graduated college. What color is your favorite pair of socks? I don’t have a favorite pair. Do you own a lava lamp? No. Do you have anything else to say? Thanks for serving as a distraction and letting me kill some time.
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nottonyharrison · 4 years
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F! H! S! T!
❤❤❤
F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
Oh you’re making me go to AO3 now well that’s just dangerous I’m gonna get distracted!
I know this is kind of boring but I picked this from Hazy Shade of Winter
"You wanna talk about it?"
She rolls her shoulders and swishes the kettle around a little on the stove. "About what?"
"'Bout last night."
She shakes her head once and sets her mouth in a hard line. "Nope."
"Aight then." He presses his lips together and nods slowly.
Why? I like to try and write as in character as possible, even if it’s something utterly ridiculous. I kind of feel like I nailed it in this scene.
H: How would you describe your style?
A mess. Hahahahahahaha.
I have no idea. Maybe like... relatively minimalist? I mean I might chuck in a metaphor if I’m really trying to stretch myself but most of the time I just like to get to the point, and eschew things like dialogue tags or adverbs. But then at the same time maybe a bit verbose? IDK. You tell me I haven’t critically analysed a text in eighteen years 😂
S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?
I am the biggest sucker for fake relationships. I think it comes from all those years of reading and watching things that fit in the general area of espionage which lends itself SO WELL to the fake married trope. I think overall the stuff I gravitate towards though mostly fits in the ‘Can’t believe its not canon’ content area so I’m not super huge on tropes. Canon divergence and missing scenes/alternative takes tend to be more my bag.
T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?
Oh so many. Some are full on squicks like ABO or Soul Mates, others are just hard nopes - Most forms of AU (there are a few exceptions mostly if it’s an author I really love) but in particular high school or coffee shop, Established relationship with schmoop, kidfics, wingfics, forced marriage (but weirdly fake marriage A+ yes please I just want my characters to have some kind of agency), magical healing cock, anything involving non-con, the list goes on. I tend to nope out of a lot of fics that are super popular with other readers, I’m very fussy.
Fanfic Ask Game
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lifewithparanormal · 4 years
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Today is a very special day for me and for this blog. 
Phantom Investigators is turning 18 today. Yes, may 25th in 2002 was the day the show premiered, and it’s already been 18 years. Man how time flies. 
Lots of time have passed, we aged, we reached adulthood. This gang was 12 years old in 2002, 18 years later they would have been 30...
...But fictionnal characters have one advantage: they have the power to never age, staying as they are and continue to influence other generations.
.........Unless someone does a small alternate universe where the gang is now grown up and 30 years old in 2020...
...To tell the truth, this one-shot small fanfic wasn’t supposed to exist. But I fell lazy drawing the whole gang together as fanmade adults on the same sheet. I wanted to at least do something for this very specific birthday! So, did a small part AU/fanfic instead.
Click on keep reading to read the whole stuff and enjoy!
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The night was almost falling in San Francisco. In the nice season of fall, the weather was getting cold. But to one particular adult, that wasn't really important right now. In a house, a red-haired adult, named Daemona Prune, looked distressed. She was making calls, preparing  food and tried her best to make the room presentable. She seemed to receive visit very soon. ...Well...in her head, they were supposed to arrive, but they seemed very late.
''What are they doing?'' she thought.
Sitting on her couch for some time, a souvenir picture was lying side to her. She looked at it with a very nostalgic feeling. A 12-year old kid, dressed with a green detective coat and a green mask, was standing along with her three friends: a black girl; a boy with glasses; and a orange-haired guy wearing fashion right out of the 2000 years.
On the back of the picture, the four names were written, in order of left to right. Casey, Kira, Daemona and Jericho.
''They're late! What are you doing? I hope you didn't forget me, cause I sure remembered you!'' she suddendly spoke.
It's been a few months since she found back this picture and that she remembered simpler times. Oh, sure, in her now-30 years old, she did see some of her friends again. But often alone, and not together. Now was going to be the first time, and boy there were some catching up to do.
But right now, Daemona was anxious, a lot happened in her life and she was scared to be forgotten. The more someone can grow up, the less time some people have to contribute to their friends. What if they didn't come? What if they only stayed for one hour after all the preparations she made?
A lot of these nervous questions quickly fade away as soon as she heard the doorbell. Waiting a few seconds to not look too awkward and impatient to herself, she then rushed into the entrance and opened the door. She went silent for some time....oh, it was not in the negative way, never was she more happy than now.
''...After all these years, you managed to all come at the same time!'' Daemona happily greeted. ''Yeah, for old time's sake, it's good to see you again Daemona!''
It was one of her old friends from the picture, Jericho, who was just saying that. 
Meanwhile, Kira and Casey were transporting boxes out of the car. They were all wearing a coat for outside temperature. The gatherer looked at all her friends with admiration, they all grew into fine people. Jericho had longer hair, tied like a ponytail; Kira let her hair down; Casey, a little gain of weight, transported two boxes at once with great force.
The admiration changed slowly into question, Daemona wasn't really aware about all these boxes.
''Uuuuh...did you make a detour? I only asked you to come directly...'' ''We allowed ourselves to make a special stop.'' Kira explained, while transporting her box into the house. ''You will understand after dinner. You must be hungry after preparing everything.'' Casey added, entering the house. ''Well duh!'' Daemona added.
-----------------------
The dinner went along for some time. Not only eating, but talking about life in general: where the gang is at this point, their jobs, their family, their love life. Only Daemona seemed to be quiet about her own. Nobody seemed to know about that. ....At least not Jericho and Casey.
After dinner, the gang showed Daemona what was inside the boxes. What she found, was the surprise of her life.
''Oh by all the elementals of the netherworld, you brought the stuff from my parents's home at my old attic?'' She exclamed herself. ''Yes, we just thought it would be nice to bring some souvenirs.'' Kira explained. ''Just like old times, the more you grow up, the less you forget.'' Casey added.
If any of these objects in the box would be normal, Daemona would probably have taken this more likely, but what could she expect when she was leading the Phantom Investigators at 12 years old in an halloween costume?
Most of the adults Daemona knew in her childhood were likely oblivious to all that was paranormal or ghosts. And now, it was her and her friend's turns, it was to wonder if they still had their powers or thought about ghosts, due to their idea to bring full boxes of gadgets, books about paranormal and the netherrealm, added with souvenirs pictures of them as childs, along with Jinxie and Wad, monsters they have worked with.
''All these things? But don't you think that we're quite too old for this? I mean...we're thirty now and...'' Daemona quietly brought. ''Daemona, you're not fooling us, Kira told us about your job.'' Casey revealed, smugly smiling.
The women backed up from surprise. She directly stared at Kira.
''Wait! I told you to keep silent about this!'' Daemona frowned, pointing at her DJ friend. ''Hey, they're your friends too, they have the right to know!'' Kira shrugged.
Jericho, who was kind of silent since the dinner's end, had his eyes widened up from the realisation.
''Wait! It was really true? It wasn't a joke?'' Jericho shouted, out of surprise. ''Indeed, the books, the double identity, her cheesy rhymes about how her new book deserves the look, everything was true!'' Kira precised.
During the speeches, the mysterious job hider felt stuck in a corner. Oh well...what she did right now kind of had a close link to what she was doing as a children. It couldn't hurt to show to the same friends with which she founded the Phantom Investigators in 2002.
Warning that she'll be back in a minute. She ran into a closet right in her room. She opened it, inside was hanged a green detective coat along with green shades and a pile of books. She took one of the books, on it was written...
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Putting the complete costume, she went out of the room and showed the book to her friends. Jericho was the most surprised of the gang, exclaiming himself.
''So it's really true! YOU'RE Monie! Now I recognise the outfit and the book title!'' ''She literally has the same haircut as before and it took you this long to figure this out?'' Kira weirdly gazed at his friend.
Daemona laughed, looking at all her friends.
''So, I see you're an avid fan of my teenager novels about paranormal!'' Daemona proudly boasted, playing with her hair. ''My kid loves your stories! But we never saw you in person! Do you think you could autograph one of his books now that I know it's you?'' Jericho asked.
The now-revealed author nodded, with a flattered smile.
''Sure, next time you visit my signature booth, bring your kid!'' she informed.
Kira was mocking Daemona a little, the simple look on her costume made her remember some hard, but good times.
''You know, in the end, you really haven't changed! Your excitement about supernatural and getting out with your weird outfits.'' ''You get a pass Kira, since you're one of my best friends...'' Daemona gazed.
Casey scratched his head.
''To be perfectly honest, I think my job doesn't fit with reading these kinds of books. But I guess I could shuffle some of them in my waiting room. Your stories are so light-hearted.'' ''Thank you, but you know, just because you're a vetenary and serious at your job doesn't mean you can't have feelings anymore...'' Daemona advised, putting his hand on Casey's shoulder. She seemed to know that he was hiding his true excitements. ''....I guess I... read them when I have free time.'' Casey blushed, a little shy to admit it.
Putting her hand out of her friend, Daemona sighed, looking at all the boxes of souvenirs.
''You know...I was kind of ashamed to admit my job to all of you, because I was scared that you would regret our childhood together, or that your forgot about all our trips to the netherworld.'' she revealed, out of worry. ''Seriously, how could we forget THAT?'' Jericho asked. ''I mean, we're adults now, obviously at first I thought you passed that age.'' Daemona said. ''Oh please girl friend, we're not like our parents or all the adults we knew. Being part of a team who investigates ghosts and almost got hurt everyday, it's really hard to forget. I'm an overbooked DJ, but deep down I still have the good memories of the PIs.'' Kira patted her friend's shoulder.
Daemona was really flattered about this small speech. 18 years have passed ever since she was the leader of Phantom Investigators with all her three friends present here. How surprising to her that in the end, they also kept their heart of child? Maybe less, but they were kind enough to visit her and bring her all these souvenirs.
With a wave of nostalgia, her eyebrows slowly changed of emotions, lowered down. She had a more serious voice.
''I wonder if right now, our mentor Navarro would be proud of us.'' ''Wherever he is right now, I'm sure he would be proud, same being said for your grandparents.'' Casey affirmed. ''How about Wad and Jinxie? They also were of use most of the time.'' Jericho added. ''They're monsters and eternal, I'm sure they haven't forget about us. At the very least, if there's children out here going through the same stuff as we did, I'm sure they're helping them....or scaring them.'' Daemona presumed.
Everyone looked at each other. This wasn't really an idea to throw out of the window. Maybe there was actually another team of children with powers, similar to the Phantom Investigators, seeing the same thing as they did.
Maybe this kind of mystery would be eluded one day. But right know, the memories were continuing....
''So Kira said you're still doing cheesy rhymes? ....Hey...how about one right now? For old time's sake?'' Jericho suddendly asked.
Daemona playfully rolled her eyes, fists on her hips.
''All right, just for you...''
Saying that, the costumed girl looked for a certain object in multiples boxes. Finally searching what she was looking for, she took it...
...A green phone straight out of the 2000 years. Acting like she was speaking, she held it close to her ear. Her friends started to get excited about what she would come it at that moment, so they could make jokes about it. It's after a few seconds that Daemona cleared her throat and finally said the following sentence...
''...Phantom Investigators, it's been a long time, describe us your slime!''
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Time Heals.....Chapter Forty-Two
Robyn rubbed her neck as she stretched at her desk. She looked over at the clock and sighed at the time. She was trying to get ahead on reports in time for her vacation. She wasn’t sure if her and Chris were still going to Italy but she decided that she would take the time off regardless. Two weeks seemed like a long time but considering she had never spent any time completely not working since she came back from maternity leave, she earned it. Taking a sip of her tea, she started back reading and highlighting. Another 30 minutes had passed when her phone rang. She pressed the speaker button without looking over at the display, “Hello?”
“Robyn.”
She frowned at the voice. She hadn’t heard from Chris much since their argument. In fact, she hadn’t heard his voice in two weeks. He would send her a text letting her know he was home and that she could drop the girls off but that was it. She really didn’t think he’d be so sensitive about the whole gift thing but she also knew that if she didn’t nip it in the bud now, it was only gonna get worse. Like she told him, she appreciated the gestures but he was getting too comfortable making decisions for them without her input and as if he was the only important thing in her life. Chris was used to being in control and he was used to being depended on but she didn’t work that way. Every once in awhile was sweet and special but constantly made her feel like he was trying to whittle away at her independence and she wasn’t comfortable with that.
“Hello? You still there?”
“Yes, I’m here, Christopher. Hearing your voice threw me off for a second,” Robyn replied, “considering you haven’t spoken to me in two weeks.”
“I have spoken to you.”
“You have texted me and that’s not the same thing.”
“Whatever.”
“What do you want?”
“Our vacation is coming up.”
“Oh, we’re still going?”
“It’s already paid for.”
“That’s not answering my question. Are WE still going because you could decide to go by yourself?”
“Why would I do that? Italy wasn’t my choice.”
“Because you paid for it, why not get your money’s worth?”
“Are you saying that you aren’t coming with?”
“No, I’m just making a point and you still haven’t answered my question. Are we still going?”
“Yes.”
“Ok, so what do you need to talk about?””
“Are we meeting at the airport or do you still want me to pick you up?’
“It’s up to you. I’m not the one with the problem.”
“I don’t have a problem.”
“You haven’t spoken to me in two weeks. You wanna try that again?”
“I was giving you space.”
“I didn’t ask for space. In fact, I haven’t asked you for anything.”
“Well from the way you reacted to my gift, I figured you needed some time.”
“Some time to do what? I didn’t hang up on you. I didn’t catch an attitude. I simply made a request and you acted like you caught me kicking your puppy or something.”
“You’re exaggerating.”
“Really? You know what, I don’t even wanna go there right now. Do you want to pick me up?”
“Do you want me to pick you up?
“No, I’ll meet you at the airport. Flight departure?”
“It’s at noon.”
“Meet you at the gate at 10: 30 then. Anything else?”
“Nope.”
“Goodnight.”
Robyn hung up then ran her hands down her face, “that man is gonna be the death of me.”
                                                 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
Chris tried his hardest not to react as he saw Robyn walking down the corridor to their gate. Her hair was curled and pulled up into a huge bun, it looked soft and inviting almost daring him to place his hands in it. She had on a pair of tan shorts with a white shirt that draped down in the front exposing a v-shaped section of bosom and one sleeve hung off her shoulder. It was the shoes that did him in, they were brown and tan colored stilettos and it did everything right for her legs. He couldn’t see her eyes because they were covered by a pair of shades but the shape of her lips let him know that she was still pretty upset with him, which was fine because he wasn’t too happy with her either. She came to a stop in front of him and slid her shades off her face to sit them on top of her head, “Christopher.”
“Robyn. You’re early.”
“Told you I’d be here by 10: 30.”
“Thought it’d take longer to get through security.”
“I always pre-check.”
“Oh.”
“How long you been here?”
“Since 10. Mom came and got the girls early to take them out for breakfast and I didn’t see any reason to just wait around the house.”
“have you eaten?”
“No.”
“Oh, well I was gonna grab something quick. You want anything?”
“I can get it.”
“That wasn’t my question.”
“Yes, but I’ll walk over with you.”
“Whatever.”
Robyn shrugged as she turned around and started walking towards the food court area where there was a Starbucks. Chris sighed and followed right behind her. They ended up standing in line next to each other. Robyn smiled at the cashier and ordered a caramel Frappuccino, bagel with cream cheese and a banana nut muffin. Chris gestured towards Robyn when the server requested his order, “I’ll have the same as her.”
The server nodded and went to make their food. As Robyn went to pay for her purchases, Chris handed the cashier his card, “it’s all together.”
Robyn looked at him over her shades with a raised brow before grabbing her stuff and leaving to a table. Chris sighed and shook his head as he grabbed his food, card and the receipt from the cashier, “thank you.”
He went and sat down across from Robyn, who had taken off her shades and was scrolling through her phone, “is it gonna be like this all the way to Italy?”
“Be like what? We don’t have anything to talk about so why force it?”
“It’s a lot of tension, Robyn.”
“Really? I didn’t notice.”
She set her phone into her bag then started preparing her bagel with cream cheese. She picked up one-half and bit into it before taking a sip of her drink.
“I’m willing to make peace, Robyn.”
“There’s nothing to make peace with, Chris. I said what I had to say. You said what you had to say. It is what it is.”
“Clearly, there’s something else going on.”
“Like what? Last I checked, I didn’t stop talking to you. I didn’t hang up on you and I didn’t go off on you. You did all of that to me and I let you. If you wanna sensitive about some gifts, that’s your prerogative but I’m not backing down about it. I said what I said and I meant it.”
“But what you said wasn’t factual.”
“What I said was based on what you’ve shown me and what I know of you. You like to provide which is cool until it feels like control. I don’t need anybody contacting my employer or doing anything for me that I didn’t ask them to do. A gift here or there is fine but assuming that my time is yours to use as you see fit is not. I’m not apologizing and I’m not taking it back. If you wanna break up with me over it, that’s on you.”
“I never said I was breaking up with you.”
“You tend to never say a lot but do a whole lot that demonstrates what you don’t say.”
“Robyn.”
“Chris, I have no need to go through the motions with you. We agreed to be adults about this relationship. We agreed to talk things through and you have not done so. I will not be chasing you. I will not be jumping through hoops nor compromising my values just so your ego can be satisfied. I know how I need to be loved and I will not settle for your generic “this is how I treat all my girlfriends” bullshit. I am not Tiana and anybody else, I do not need you to navigate my life for me. I want you to enjoy my life with me. I will hold onto my right to make my own decisions and plan my own time. I love you but my world does not revolve around you.”
“I’m not asking it to.”
“You haven’t asked me anything and that’s the problem. And to make it worse when I try to say something about it, you give me attitude and tell me that you’re not arguing with me about it like my feelings don’t mean anything.”
“That’s not what I was trying to do.”
“Then what were you trying to do?”
“Something nice for you.”
“That I did not want you to do. I am allowed to refuse a gift that I do not want, am I not?”
“Yes.”
“So why is it such a hassle for you to stop doing things for me without my input? You didn’t ask me if I wanted to go out to dinner, you just dropped shit at my house and told me we were after calling my damn boss. You have no authority to do such of anything and I would never take those kinds of liberties with you because I know you have a life outside of me and it’s not my right to invade that without your permission. Why can’t I get that kind of courtesy?”
“I never said you couldn’t.”
“But you have shown me that you believe I don’t. We have been together for months, you’ve been doing this for months and out of the sake of growing pains, I haven’t argued much especially since most of it was small, bringing me lunch is ok, ordering dinner is fine but you start inserting yourself into my workplace and bring our children into this, I start having a serious problem.”
“I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“What?”
“You knew it was a big deal or else everything time you did it, you wouldn’t have said you weren’t arguing with me about it. Anything that can lead to argument indicates that one or both parties are not in agreement with the present action so you knew it was a big deal but you were counting on me not wanting to rock the boat too much and therefore not say anything. Right or wrong?”
“You’re right.”
“Thank you.”
“So where do we go from here?”
“That’s up to you. I’m not the one who stopped talking to me for two weeks. You wanted your space, you took your space so you decide what you want to do. I’ve made my boundaries clear. We can get on this plane as spouses, as friends, or as enemies. It’s up to you.”
“Robyn, I love you.”
“I know that.”
“So you know what my answer is.”
“I know what I’m assuming your answer is. It’d make it easier if you said it out loud.”
“I wanna get on this plane and off the plane as spouses.”
“Ok then.”
“You done being mad at me?”
“Being done with you is not the same thing as being mad at you. Besides I wasn’t mad at you anyway.”
"Really?"
“Yes, really. You were the one who acted like a spoiled brat because I didn’t want your gifts.”
“Speaking of gifts-“
“They are still in the garment bags hanging in the hall closet. I told the girls whenever you decided to change your mind, they’d be able to wear them.”
“And yours?”
“In the same place.”
“Did you even look at it?”
“Honestly, no. After you hung up on me, I was too busy reassuring your daughters that we weren’t breaking up to be concerned about what the dresses really looked like. All I know is that they’re black.”
“Did I really upset them that bad?”
“I don’t think upset would be the right word. Worried might be more appropriate. I guess since they’ve been waiting for us to get together, they don’t want anything to mess that up.”
“Odd, they never said anything to me about it.”
“I told them not to. It’s none of their business.”
“True. We should get back to the gate, they’ll start loading-“
Just then a boarding announcement for their flight came over the intercom system. Robyn looked over at Chris and laughed, “talk about perfect timing.” They wrapped up what was left of their food, collected their bags and left to go back to their gate. They didn’t have long to wait as business class was one of the first to board.
“Babe, you want the window or aisle seat?” Chris asked as he started walking to their assigned spots.
“Window, please.”
Chris stopped and looked at the seat labels before verifying they were at the right seats. He stepped back and let Robyn step in front of him then moved to sit in the seat beside her.
“You ok?”
“I’m good, Chris. You?”
“I’m better now.”
“Now?”
“Because I don’t have to sit in tension for the next couple of hours or worry about you accidentally on purpose stabbing me with something.”
Robyn laughed, “we have children together so I can’t stab you. I can threaten but I can’t actually do it.”
“I don’t know if I believe that.”
“Oh Boy, whatever.”
Chris smiled then leaned over and kissed her cheek, “love you.”
“I love you too.”
Robyn turned and they stared at each other for a few moments before she turned to look out the window.
“Do we still have something more to discuss?”
“Yea but it can wait until we land.”
“Ok.”
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Lui- A short story by Owami Jackson
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Chapter 1: Franks intro
So, how do you start one of these things? Do I tell you my name, the backstory of my character, where I am from? How and why I killed Lui?
*Fuck I ruined the whole story didn’t I? Oh well. Guess we have to start somewhere
Okay boys and girls, to save you the suspense and inner turmoil, yes this is the story of how I killed a girl named Lui. This is not an attempt to bait you into reading a story. You could easily go watch a reality show about this kind of stuff, I mean you’d be surprised at how much of this shit happens, and is televised. honestly I could give two fucks about you or the author of this short story who saw it fit too conjure me from his imagination because he couldn’t sleep or because of his “anxiety” but since we are here I’ll give you the 411. This is not a story about murder nor is it a story about romance, I’m sorry if you wanted a sequel to “A fault in our stars” but this is unfortunately not the place, go rent it at a DVD store like the rest of the perverts who still go to DVD stores. As you will come to find my personality borders on asshole territory. This is not a trait I am particularly fond off but I’m not the author here. So if you are ready for a nihilistic, self-centred, self-deprivation kind of story, buckle up your seat belt ladies and gentlemen, its time for a ride. Oh and my name is Frank.  
Chapter 2: Why is it so hard to find a good blowjob in Paris?
It’s a beautiful city Lyon, dead middle in the heart of it all, who would’ve thought a piece of shit like me would make it to a place like this. Don’t get me wrong I much rather be in my shitty apartment, with my noisy ass neighbours but every once in a while you find something that gets you out of the house and gives a rational explanation to the world. You might be asking yourself why I’m in Paris or where I’m from. Let’s just say I’m here for a permanent vacation and I can’t disclose where I’m from because I don’t know you guys like that.
*or the author is a lazy fuck who can’t give me a decent enough back story because his writing this dead late in the middle of the night and doesn’t have any depth.
The thing about the city of Lyon is that you actually start to believe the romantic hype. Its covered by water as if it was being hugged by Atlantis, the air is warm, the noise is music and the music is art. The afternoons, oh God the afternoons, the sky turns a light navy blue with small stokes of the pink sunset embellished on top of it. Sitting outside of a hotel restaurant and eating what could only be described as an orgasm in my mouth feels like paradise.  
Waiter: can I get you anything else monsieur?        
Just top me off on the wine would you. No, matter of fact bring me the bottle and add a gin and tonic while you’re at it
Waiter: aucun problème
Okay back to you lovely annoying readers; yes Paris, Lyon a beautiful part of fucking civilization, if I wasn’t going to blow my head off in the next couple of days I would have moved here  
*is it me or did I ruin another vital part of the story, Fuck!
Okay let’s make this quick, we’ve wasted enough time talking about a city that you can just google. I came here because out of all my travels it is the most beautiful place I have ever been to. This is where I plan to kill myself, everything is already planned, I’ve booked an exquisite hotel in the presidential suite with an extraordinary balcony view, I know what my last meal will be and I’ve hired enough prostitutes and drugs to give Charlie Sheen a boner. While your reading the story please don’t act like you care and even if you did, I did tell you that I’m a piece of shit so that says a lot about you weirdo. This will not end with a coming to Jesus moment; I will not tell you a sad backstory as to what lead me to this decision. The only thing I can say is that I am okay, I’m just not happy. I figured shooting myself in the head would be quicker and as a last ode to me being an asshole someone would have to clean my mushy brain and skull fragments and that brings me so much joy. Now back too regular proceedings.
Concierge: sir I have been informed to tell you that there is a female waiting for you at the front desk
Oh yes, the first of many lovely prostitutes that will be joining me, send her up Garson
Concierge: yes sir.
Time for my first act. I’m guessing you weirdos are going to stay and read about my sexual escapade, just don’t masturbate to it, it’s hard enough giving a good performance to an A list prostitute from Paris and having you weirdos jacking off to it, this is not 50 shades and you are not a middle aged housewife, grow up. What I can tell you though is that I’ve frequented some of the ladies of the night in Paris and despite their beauty they can’t give a decent enough blowjob, I mean it’s like they are  physically trained not to produce decent fallatio. It’s a question that has plagued me for years but nonetheless I digress. So yeah this whole backstory shit has been fun but it’s time for me to go, see you in the next chapter.
Chapter 3: Baby! Baby! Baby!
Even in the desolate night where the room is quiet and covered by luminance moonlight, the air in Paris is still warm. I mean I am sleeping next to two prostitutes with nothing on but the air is still comfy. If you’re here to find out if the blowjob was good, yes it was. Turns out when you use two girls the tongue ratio is rationed and abracadabra you have a good blowjob now back to the story pervert.
I’ve never been one to have a good night’s sleep. the last time I slept a full night was when I was blacked out drunk and even then I woke up to take a piss but fell on my own vomit and hit my head on the toilet seat thus inducing a slight concussion but it was a good night’s sleep nonetheless. When I can’t sleep I tend to take a walk, luckily this was a city made for mid night walks and I needed to go buy more condoms. As if only the day was replaced by the moon, the city of Lyon was still vibrant and full of life. bars where open, jazz players where still playing on the road and couples walked around freely as if they were at a market in the middle of the day, I asked one of the locals for the nearest convince store and the fucker told me it was three blocks away. I didn’t mind, it seemed the further I walked the further away my problems became, I got to the convince store and started browsing as one does when in a foreign convince store. Everything is the same if you don’t count the different cereals and sodas. I was the only one in the store at least I thought I was until I heard the softest voice talking to the store clerk. I’ve heard French before I mean how can’t you when you’re in the middle of fucking Paris but this sounded heavenly, almost extra-terrestrial like an instrument yet to be created but sounded like something sweet from your past. I walked in front of the store, as one would do upon hearing the voice of an angel and in awe, I saw her. I’m not going to give you the whole rom com speal because like I said this is not a fucking romance. She was just there, like she was meant to be there as if she was there for me. She had a little back pack and short dress complimented with airforce 1 sneakers and a tiny hat. I had to say something; I had to fill up the space that was between us. “Bonjour, what adventure are you going to? Fuck do you speak English, sorry I mean uhhm fuck never mind” she smiled and said “Hey my name is Lui, yes I do speak English and do you have any adventure we can go on”. I paid for my shit, left the condoms of course and we walked around the city the whole night talked about our lives and our past and…
*fuck this is turning into a romance isn’t it
Fast forward to the end of the night we found ourselves next to a fountain talking about shit we knew we weren’t going to remember, she told me she lived near the hotel I was at ,a tiny apartment full of paintings done by her and her eccentric friends. She said she was having a party later into the day and invited me, I mean a night with pretentious art dealers and middle-aged drunks didn’t sound half as good as a night of sniffing cocaine up a hookers ass but she intrigued me and I wanted to go. The great thing about hookers is that they never run out so I could spare some debaucherous time to be a social human for one night, I mean semi social.
*relax we’re going back to the plot of the story in the next chapter you impatience fuck  
Chapter 4: Expiry date.  
It was the tiniest apartment I have ever been in but with some miracle, it was able to house 15 drunken belligerent artsy fartsy bearded and incense-smelling individuals. The music switched from pop rock to electric folk to some weird shit that can only be described as LSD in liquefied form and everybody in the room seemed to know everything about the musician or band. It was as if I joined a cult unknowingly and we were about to fuck a goat and eat celebratory rice cakes. From the minute, I entered the room I immediately regretted calling off my nightly escapades with hookers and cocaine until I saw her. She had a short poker dotted skirt on with the harshest BDSM boots I’ve ever seen in my life, her hair was shaped like a mushroom and she had glitter all over her face.
*can somebody tell this Disney ass author that this is not A FUCKING ROMANCE NOVEL
The minute I clocked eyes with her she gestured me towards her friends, I put my hand up as if to say no thanks, she saw my reluctance, smiled and came right over to me
Lui: thank you for making it, I didn’t think you would come
Frank: yeah, I haven’t listened to pop rock in a while so I decided to pop in
*Good she’s smiling  
Lui: would you like something to drink?
Frank: yeah what do you have on the menu?
Lui: this is Paris so we have wine obviously, I can make you a gin cocktail and we have beer if you’re trying to be a prude
Frank: I’ll be a Prude thank you.  
Lui: ill be right back, just don’t move
Frank: I’ll be right here
I scrolled through my phone looking at pictures I’ve already seen before as one does in a socially award situation. A pixie girl with pink hair came up to me and proceeded to bombard me with a verbal avalanche of gypsy talk and indigo gibberish. I entertained her for a while until Lui came back to save me. Lui and I sat on the sofa together and besides the interruptions of people telling us how high or drunk they were we had a very in depth conversation. Within an hour we were making out, we decided to go up the roof of her apartment for some fresh air.
Frank: i expected a bed looking unto the stars but I guess this will do.
Lui: I’ve had sex on harsher and more abstract places
Frank: London 2003 I had sex in a cemetery while people where burying my father.
Lui: Wow! Impressive, Paris 2012 I had sex in a church with the youth pastor while the service was still in progress. The pastor’s wife walked in on us and told the whole church, my mother didn’t talk to me for years.
Frank: Wow, I didn’t take you in for a church person.
Lui: what can I say Youth pastors are hot.
The sky was bare with sprinkles of stars. the stars were clear and vivid as if they wanted you to look at them. The moon was not shy as well. a crescent moon held the sky together and on top of the roof, it looked larger than life. As always the air was warm, I laid the big trench coat I had, on the floor and well yeah we had sex.
*I’m sorry but what’s this author’s obsession with my sex life like fuck, has he heard of porn before?
Lui: Fuck! Oh my God. Ahhhhhh, wow you’re amazing.
Frank: You’re not too bad yourself. Wow, thank you, I guess.
Lui: you’re welcome. Im gonna miss this
Frank: I mean we can do it again.
Lui: no I mean sex, intimacy, love, passion just life
Frank: are you transferring to a nun school tomorrow?
Lui: I have Lupus and not to get into the nitty grittys of it all but yeah im going to die in a couple of months, I’m in pain every day and I want to kill myself everyday but I never find the strength to do it
*well this just got awkward.
Frank: one way to kill the romance Lui
Lui: I’m sorry but were never going to see each other again so I just thought id lay it all onto you
Frank: well if there’s an afterlife, which there isn’t, ill be sure to pop you in a visit
Lui: I’ll be next to Jesus and the youth pastors trying to get some dick
Frank: You’re hilarious, life shouldn’t take people like you, you deserve to grow old and have kids and grandkids and share your light and lessons with them
Lui: I’ve made peace with it, I mean I don’t have control over it but I do have control on how I want it to happen
Frank: oh yeah?
Lui: I want my last moments to be in an island at a beach somewhere looking Over the horizon with wine in my hand a blunt in the other and a smile on my face
Frank: wow that’s a very specific request
Lui: I read it on those cancer books those white people read, you know the ones where one teenager is dying of cancer and the other does something romantic for them
Frank: like ‘A fault in our stars’?
Lui: Exactly! But  I know I’ll probably die in a hospital or in my house if I’m lucky.
Frank: I never thought I’d have sex and talk about a terminal disease right after
Lui: stick with me baby and you’ll be introduced to a world of new sexual dialogue.
We walked back into the party, I had every reason to leave but I wanted to stay, so I stayed. The party ended at 3 in the morning. The host blacked out and I had nothing to do so I cleaned up her house, I went to a local coffee shop at 6 in the morning, came back to the apartment to find her awake, blushing and with a terrible hangover. I gave her coffee and waited for her to come out the shower, I didn’t know what I was waiting for but it seemed like the right thing to do, I heard a gut wrenching scream from the bathroom. I ran in and there she was naked, convulsing in pain, I held her and tried to cradle her to health but it didn’t work. I called the ambulance and spent the rest of the day in hospital. Throughout the day her friends and her family showed up. They all asked who I was and I just kept on saying I was an acquaintance. The doctor came in and told us that She was responsive but she was in immense pain, she could make out words and she kept on telling the doctors that she was in pain and she just wanted to go. The doctors said there was nothing they could do but wait. the pain wouldn’t stop. She could go home and wait to die there or die in the hospital. A decision was made for her to go home. I walked passed the doctors as secretly as I could, grabbed a wheel chair, went into her room and took her out the back of the hospital. I called out a cab and told him to drive to the beach, it was 5 o’clock in the morning and the sun was coming up. We pulled up to the beach, I gave the cab driver a thousand Euros and told him to wait for us. We pushed the wheel chair onto the sand close to the water, I took off her shoes and put them in the water, I cradled her and we watched the sun rise. A tear fell from her eyes, she tried to mumble out a thank you but she couldn’t move her mouth, I looked at her and kissed her on her head. I took her back into cab and told the cab driver to drive back to her apartment, laid her on her bed. Took a pillow and smothered her the fastest way I could. Her hand shaking with pain from her Lupas, stopped and for a while it seemed like her body was at peace, I left a note on top of the kitchen counter next to the cold coffee detailing what I had done and why I did it. I told her parents they could hate me or blame me but this is what she wanted. I also gave them the address of my hotel. I took her phone, called the first contact I found and told them that she was at her apartment.
*I told you this is not a fucking Disney story
Chapter 5- Walking with the lights off
I honestly don’t know how you stayed through out the story but you’re here now, you’ve made it, I would say I’m proud of you but I don’t really care. I guess the author wanted the last chapter to be a mushy moment that would provoke me to come to a Jesus moment and not kill myself
*pussy
And he was right, I think my character arch was cemented in the last chapter. I found something that I cared about and realized that life is meaningful and watching a life fade away in-front of my eyes, she made me realize that I have so much to live for, Sike I’m still going to kill myself. I told you that I’m a nihilistic asshole and things would come to this, you read on and I told you not too, so now that we’re here time to end this chapter with a bang.
I waited in the hotel for 4 days and no one came, no police, no family member and no friends. Sometimes blue lights would flicker outside and I would get myself ready but they never came. I don’t know what I was waiting for, redemption, pain, punishment, I don’t even know why I left my address in Lui’s apartment. All I know is that in the days and nights I spent with Lui I felt a sense of belonging that I had never felt before and doing what I did to her made me realize that maybe I do have a moral compass. Within 5 days I figured the family had understood the letter and how she was in pain, I hoped that they understood that I didn’t do anything maliciously. Until I got a visit from a middle aged women in all black attire with sunglasses on. It was Lui’s mom. We sat in the garden of the hotel and I didn’t know what to say, I mean what do you say to the mother of someone you’ve killed. She looked at me, and said “Your eyes carry pain, just like my daughters eyes” I didn’t say anything. That was not something I was expecting her to say. She continued  “I’ve been fighting with my family the whole week on whether we should arrest you or kill you ourselves”. I then replied “Since there are no police here I’m thinking you decided to do the latter?”
“No, I convinced them not to do both, you see I knew the pain my daughter was going through, I think I just got selfish and wanted her to stay a little longer. I want to thank you for helping her with her pain, although you’ve brought my family great pain as we couldn’t say goodbye to her the way we wanted to, you’ve closed a chapter that needed to be closed. I wanted to see you before you disappeared, I don’t know why but I wanted to see your eyes and now that I’m here I realize that there is no one who can save you from your turmoil, your eyes long for a rest you can’t have, I pray that you find solace in this life or the next” and just like that she got up, shook my hand and left. I didn’t know what to feel afterwards but I knew what I had to do.
I grabbed a gym bag, walked out the hotel room at 3am in the morning, I hired a cab to drive me to Lui’s apartment, I left flowers on the entrance of her apartment I then told the driver to drive to the beach, I waited till the clock hit 4:30. The sun came up slowly. It was beautiful I didn’t deserve the view . I kneeled along the shore and took out the gun
*you see, one thing I know about myself is that I’m very self aware. I know my wrongs and I know my rights(as little as they may be). I understand that I’m probably a sick individual, I understand that sometimes someone like myself needs help but I think I’ve ran enough, from my past, my demons and myself. I don’t remember a time I was ever happy and I don’t resent God, my family or myself for it. I have limits and I just happened to run out of them. Sometimes you just have to take the brunt of your inner turmoil and throw them in the fire. As much as I am an asshole, I have a soul and I hope somehow I’ve been able to leave a positive peace of myself attached to someone and changed their lives cause it would be a shame living such a shitty life to not impact at least one person, anyway....
BANG!!
End.
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pumpkin-lith · 5 years
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So, basically, the thing was, it all starts on a beautiful Senate day. Palpatine is walking with some random Senator, and he needs for that conversation to keep going so, let's not take the lifts, haha, let's walk down those stairs.
And nobody uses the stairs, right, they're all lazy and/or busy, lifts are faster, so if you use the stairs, you're either somewhat claustrophobic, don't fit inside the humanoids or even the larger/taller ones, have a tryst with your lover who might or might not be a Jedi, or maybe you just want a quiet place to take your lunch.
But point is, nobody uses the stairs much so the cleaning droids, they have so much to do, have you seen the size of the Senate, they keep the cleaning of all those unused stairs for way late at night on weekends when aaaalll the rest is done or don't need constant maintenance.
So say, if there's a slice of tomato on a stair, because someone packed up their lunch a little fast because _some_ people have no shame, doing that just above their salad, it would just… stay there, for hours, until Chancellor Palpatine and Random Senator walk by.
And, don't get me wrong, love the Naboo fashion, but man, those robes and collars…
There's no way Palpatine sees that small little slice of tomato and Woops he goes.
And on one hand, he's a Sith, yes, powers, super agility to do that triple side somersault, he could recover like that. snaps
But on the other hand, he's posing as Old Man Sheev Palpatine, and, say, the door just opened on a Jedi Master looking for his wayward Padawan soon to be Knight because he heard he just might be in that staircase, so if Force use there is to avoid the fall, the Jedi will feel it and his carefully engineered war just started, that would be the most stupid way to be found out, right ?
And, really, all things considered what harm can a little fall do, there will be exactly two people to see him fall, one is a Random Senator that he needs for this or that bill but is otherwise of no importance and will never dare laugh about the Chancellor and a Jedi who's too damn nice to dare mock an old man, yes ?
So, he lets the fall by tomato slice happen.
And. Hits. His. Head.
And here is the thing : when he wakes up, he's completely amnesiac \0/.
No memories, no background and certainly not Sidious.
There's all these well wishers and people calling him Chancellor and being nice and worried but he has no clue, and no relative, no wife, to help with recovering his memories.
But, lucky him, he’s a public figure, he even has two or three biographies written about him, great !
Look, you can't tell me that, even without considering he's a Sith named Sidious, a politician of Palpatine’s caliber doesn't have 1) several books written about him and 2) made damn sure he knew exactly what was in those, and how the Galaxy saw him through them.
Palpatine, His Life, His Work, by Totally A Non-Influenced Author I Swear Cross My Heart.
So what Amnesiac By Tomato!Palpatine can find about his own life, his own motivations and goals, is the official backstory he so carefully crafted himself.
So, we're like, mhh, not that long after Geonosis, the War has started and some people in the Senate are seeing different shades in the colors Palpatine is showing with emergency powers being around and the Army bill passing because, hey, actually, we do have an Army…
But all of that is fresh, no books on that ! Press articles, sure, but the biographies, so far, they're all showing the same basic facts, and those include :
He’s from Naboo, there's probably stories about how his Good, Rich, Upstanding family was Wholesome and full of Values he inherited
Became a Senator and, when the young Queen from his homeworld came to ask for help after an Invasion, he Stepped Up and became Chancellor to Help the Downtrodden
That Queen ended up a Senator after her Tenure and he was her Mentor in the Senate as a Good, Benevolent Grandfatherlike Figure
Someone Likes Capitalizing Stuff Too Much
And sure, he may be amnesiac but he still has (most) of his brainpower, so he'd look for other sources, look up the HoloNet (after enabling Safe Search, what is even that SheevBinks ship, Jesus people), see some nuances, some saying that he's a true friend and ally to the Jedi Order, some saying he's just another corrupt politician, some saying he's the reincarnation of a 300 year old eggplant deity from Felucia because it's the space internet.
But mostly, Sidious did his cover up good, especially at that point in time, he appears as a Political, slightly better dressed version of Santa.
And of the two people who could shed some (Dark) light into this, let's say Amedda choked to death that morning (on a tomato, of course), so sad, and Dooku can't exactly walk into the hospital to get the facts straight now, can he.
On the list of People who can actually visit, there will be two important ones :
First, Anakin puppy eyed newly or about to be Knighted, very newly wedded, riding that Honeymoon Vibe.
Who is so gonna tell their Friend and Father Figure Daddy Palpatine how good a human being he is, how full of advice, how they talked a lot for years about ending slavery and that Peace is Good.
And Padmé Protégée Naberrie Amidala who would be a little more careful and admitting that they had some differences but, the War just started and can maybe still be stopped with negotiations, but for that, they need a ruling body who can negotiates and she sympathizes with Palpatine's current ailment but surely, he sees that right now, he cannot be Chancellor to the Republic, yes ?
So, so far, Tomato Brain here is not sure of much but he does have a few facts that seem to be stuff people agree on : he's grandfatherly, he gives good advice, he's mostly a Good person who likes Peace and he does the Right Thing when it's time to step up.
So he does just that. The Good, Right Thing for the Republic he's apparently spent his whole life serving.
He steps down from the Chancellor mantle. And, while waiting for elections to be able to be held, and given that Vice Chancellor Amedda sadly died last day of tomato choking, his last act is to appoint Senator Amidala as Acting Chancellor in the meantime.
It makes sense, my dear, don't be so surprised, I'm an old, injured man with no memories, and you've been a good friend and are a good person, both according to everyone and from what I saw personally. It's like I can feel it by some way, crazy, I know, but don't worry, you'll take good care of the Republic.
And then he decides to retire on Naboo, he read he has a nice vacation house on his Estate, and all this talk about tomatoes made him think he might just like growing his own garden.
And this is a happy, cracky verse, (if you don't think this is crack, you haven't been paying attention) so nothing goes wrong.
There is no Evil Diary of Sidious hidden somewhere, nothing Dark in that vacation home, it was basically a front so it's closer to an Ikea showroom than an Evil Lair, he settles in nicely for his nice retirement on a very comfy pension.
Though he doesn't need all of that money, does he, let's also give to charities and to people working against slavery, because apparently, that's what he used to do, and it does seem like a Good Thing.
And Dooku, let's not forget our second Sith Lord. Now, Sidious is away from the main media eye, away from Coruscant, it would be easy to go to him and tell him the truth…
But why in the seven hells would he.
Let's remember that Dooku joined the Dark Side initially because he felt the Jedi wouldn't, couldn't do fuck about Sidious, that the only way would be to find the Sith Master and join him to stab him in the back. And he Fell along the way and stuff, but in the beginning of it all, he had  let's say, Good Motivations, Not Very Good Plan.
But this IS the beginning. And Apart from Geonosis, the War is now stalling, because there is no puppet master, no shadow leader, no Great Big Bad Plan behind it all and someone playing chess with all the Galaxy as his pawns, black AND white.
There is just the Republic on one Side, Dooku and the CiS on the other, and Sidious is planting tomatoes as a hobby.
So, Dooku can go back to his own true love too. Politics. (Yurk. But whatever rocks your boat, man)
And, so, why don't we talk about this like civilized beings, hmm ?
Surely, the Republic isn't a Tyranny not letting people pick another way ?
It's talks or a war, what do you pick ?
So.
No war.
Lots of Politics, I'm sure Dooku and Padmé and Satine and assorted madbeings are living, there's bills and conferences and cabinets meetings and sessions everywhere, THIS is my version of Hell but it works out.
And, because it's me, let's talk about the clones.
There's Now a couple millions guys for an Army that is actually not needed, Chancellor never even got the time to ratify that bill, sorry, so actually you're not even the GAR, at most you're, like, the GA, maybe ?
But you know who is understaffed, just lost a good dozens members and often act as Senatorial envoyees to dangerous places ? The Jedi. Who you want to serve anyway ! Great.
So the Jedi take custody of the GA, and well, it's not an Army innit, the Jedi can't have an Army, and we're not going to call them the G, that's stupid, so they became a branch of the Jedi Corps, Protection and Escort and Badass Looking or something like that, they go with Jedi everywhere, make sure no Jedi die or is injured or kidnapped or enslaved or goes off to join a civil war or anything. Keep their Jedi safe and protected everywhere. Good stuff.
While Palpatine plants his tomatoes.
And, to wrap this up, let's say, ten years down the line, when little Luke and little Leia become Padawans, the ripple in the Force lights up the whole Galaxy so much an old man with a strawhat in his field of tomatoes remembers.
And Darth fucking Sidious realises he wasted a century long conspiracy crafted by all his line of Siths, gave his puppet Senator his actual job of Leader, she's married to his Carefully Groomed Apprentice who is now Happy Light Daddy, he gifted his biggest enemies with an Army who is now protecting them, the Order is flourishing, Republic and CiS are allies and in harmony, the Galaxy is so Light it burns and he's known as a Good Old Man giving most of his wealth to charities and who is making tomatoes preserves.
And Sidious dies of an aneurysm, in his field of tomatoes (which, unfortunately, might actually burn down if he does explode. Those good tomatoes, so sad.)
143 notes · View notes
kbetolks · 5 years
Text
A Writer’s Ask Game (answered)
1. Do you listen to music when you write?
Yeah. Silence is too distracting.
2. Are you a pantser or plotter?
A bit of both. More of a plotter regarding my last work.
3. Computer or pen and paper?
Computer. Pen and paper are fine for random ideas, though.
4. Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?
Never, and... I don’t really know?
5. How much writing do you get done on an average day?
Can’t even remember the last time, but usually around 1K?
6. Single or multiple POV?
No preference, really. It depends on what fits better.
7. Standalone or series?
A single piece is nice in the sense of ‘I made this’ but usually ideas are many and things get out of hand (read become a series).
8. Oldest WIP
I remember a detective!AU that I don’t even know where to find it now.
9. Current WIP
Everything is a WIP when you’re not working on anything.
10. Do you set yourself deadlines?
Not really? They serve nothing but stressing me out.
11. Books and/or authors who influenced you the most
I love me some humour, so I’d say Telma Guimarães and her Redações Perigosas II and Helen Fielding’s Bridget Jones: The edge of Reason.
12. Describe your perfect writing space
Music, a computer, and no one around. Or my room, really.
13. Describe your writing process from idea to polished
Idea to paper. Main plot points as topics. Develop a bit on each topic. Compare the original idea with what’s actually written. Read and edit till it looks okay.
14. How do you deal with self-doubts?
If 50 Shades became a hit around the globe, I really have NOTHING to lose.
15. How do you deal with writer’s block?
Forcing myself to write even if I don’t like what comes out.
16. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?
One, really? I can change stuff and add or take some out, but I’m not rewriting.
17. What writing habits or rituals do you have?
That’s a luxury I can’t afford.
18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?
No idea. Never really thought about it. 
19. How do you keep yourself motivated?
If I wanna see it I have to create it.
20. How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?
More than I can remember or count. A few hundreds for sure.
21. Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?
Stiles Stilinski. I love me some sarcastic little shit.
22. Who is/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?
Sterek.
23. Favourite author
russelia.
24. Favourite genre to write and read
Anything fluffy and funny or filled with come action!
25. Favourite part of writing
Finishing the damned story.
26. Favourite writing program
Don’t really have one? It’s usually Openoffice or Docs.
27. Favourite line/scene
There’s a scene in OWaR nearing the end of the last fight that’s pretty emotional. The whole thing of conquering demons and sacrifice through love. I also like the love confession in CiaBN. As well as the iconic “c’mon!” “There won’t cum on anything till you answer that,” I suppose.
28. Favourite side character
I love me some Erica Reyes because she plays matchmaker.
29. Favourite villain
I’d go with my OC for TA, my first story. I had a blast with him.
30. Favourite idea you haven’t started on yet
Maybe a Sterek mermaid!AU.
31. Least favourite part of writing
The words not writing themselves.
32. Most difficult character to write
Anyone that I’m not too familiar.
33. Have you ever killed a main character?
Yes and no.
34. What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?
Smut scenes in general? Or maybe when I killed a pet. Those are awful.
35. What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?
Any that’s not finishing the story.
36. Last sentence you wrote
The man yanks his wrist free, reaching for a dagger on his side. “Sod off, little girl!”
37. First sentence or your current WIP
*pastes over 20 sentences here*
38. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had
Maybe that Sailor Moon AU nobody ever gave me?
39. Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had
The talking pet I killed.
40. Share some backstory for one of your characters
That pet was actually some lab experiment and worked as a boost for his owner.
41. Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?
Create because that’s hard to do. Most of the time the people who can’t even create what you did will criticise you. Pay no mind and create your shit.
42. How do you feel about love triangles?
Unnecessary drama. Boring. Overdone.
43. What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?
Nothing? They don’t listen to me, anyway.
44. How much research do you do?
*war flashbacks of scarring details on sex toys* More than I should, I suppose.
45. How much world building do you do?
Depending on the story, A LOT.
46. Do you reread your own stories?
Yeah. Otherwise, I don’t catch those errors that escape like THREE revisions.
47. Best way to procrastinate
Researching shit.
48. What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?
I adapted a dream I had to a story, so I guess an entire chase by an amorphous monster? LMAO.
49. Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?
Stiles Stilinski.
50. [Other question—ask me anything]
:P
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twilight-adamo · 4 years
Text
Author’s Notes: Brave New World, Chapter 5: What’s Past is Prologue
https://archiveofourown.org/works/19709434/chapters/49462937
As a bit of random trivia, this is the first thing I’ve written set in New Orleans that I’ve actually released publicly. It is also, due to the way I title chapters (their filenames are just the chapter numbers; I don’t decide on a title until I’ve finished), the only thing I’ve written set in New Orleans that never, not once, not even as a working title, borne the title “House of the Rising Sun”. I can’t help it: the song and the city chase each other endlessly in my mind. I’ve been to New Orleans once, about six years after Katrina, and fell in love with the place. I haven’t managed to make it back in the eight years since. I’d quite like to return.
I keep track of the timeline in my outline for the story. It’s late July 2005 in this chapter; in a little over a month, well after BEAR have left, Katrina will hit. I hadn’t remembered until I started digging into the city’s history, trying to figure out where the plotline would fit, but I’m brushing up against it here. The gang will undoubtedly hear about it. I’m not yet sure how it will impact them, beyond general sorrow, but I’m pondering it.
(About BEAR: a reader on FFN - MooNOrchiD, if you’re reading this, hi - pointed out the acronym for Bella, Emmett, Alice and Rosalie. I’ve been using it in my notes. It’s damned convenient, and it makes me giggle.)
Anyway, the chapter title ended up being another quote from The Tempest, one I’m not using as a book title in the trilogy or extended Tempestverse. I’d considered “The Past is Never Dead,” from the Faulkner quote - “The past is never dead. It’s not even past.” - but when I remembered “What’s past is prologue,” and more, that it came from the play from which I borrowed the name of this AU as well as the titles of the stories within, well. It seemed a perfect match.
Once I hit last chapter’s reveal, I really couldn’t think of much reason why Alice would want to keep hanging around the site of her death and revival, and the slaughter she committed as a newborn vampire. And I was eager to get to New Orleans. So if it seems abrupt, well, it is a bit abrupt. It surprised even me. But the asylum has served its purpose, at least for the time being.
I’m trying to balance the episodes of cognitive dissonance and general weirdness Bella is experiencing against the fact that this isn’t really about her - as she herself acknowledges, and that’s why she tries to hide this latest one from Alice, though she doesn’t end up managing it. I also generally don’t want to have too many of them too close together. It’s part of a thread that will continue throughout this book, and there will be more to them in time, but this section of the story, for all that Bella is still narrating and this necessarily limits our perspective, is Alice’s first and foremost. It’s a tricky balance to strike, and I admit I’ve occasionally considered trading Bella’s perspective for someone else’s (not just in this part of the story). But that’s a narrative shift that should be used sparingly, if at all, and I would prefer to leave most of the other characters’ perspectives to These Our Actors. Besides, the very thought of writing from Alice’s perspective, with all her slipping between the present, the future, and now the past, gives me a headache.
I’ve played fast and loose with Alice’s visions of the future in the past, and more so since Bella started altering her powers - I had a reader early on tell me that wasn’t how her powers worked, and while I think Meyer’s descriptions are inconsistent, I can’t say they were entirely wrong about that. Still, in many ways, Alice’s power is one of narrative convenience, and it was inconvenient for me to have her instantly able to see everything. So I decided, and I think this is reasonable, that Alice needed time to learn to control her power to see the future (and still doesn’t have complete control, at that), and will similarly need time to learn to control her power to see the past. For now, she can follow threads, but there are shifting and vaguely defined limits that even she doesn’t fully understand. All will be revealed in time, or at least enough of a story to get along with.
I really want to make Alice and Bella’s relationship healthy, loving, and open, for all that they’re going to have their problems, same as any other couple. I hope I’m succeeding. It definitely seemed to me that she would pick up on Bella’s distress - there’s very little she fails to notice - and that she would expect honesty in their relationship, even if the truth is painful or difficult.
Bella’s relationship and history with magic is going to be a thread throughout both this book and the next, so I wanted to spend a little more time fleshing out her perspective, and with Rose being a novice witch, that afforded me the opportunity to do so. The conversation took a briefly maudlin turn that tread over a lot of territory from the previous chapter before I cut that bit and brought it to a different inclusion. The outtake will be under the cut at the end of this post.
5513 St. Charles Avenue, New Orleans, does not exist. The spot where it would stand is a playground. I didn’t want to associate any real homes with a fictional haunting (and of course I could hardly resist throwing a thirteen in there when the opportunity arose). But it’s in roughly the right location, I think, for a double gallery home once owned by a decently wealthy family.
Now we get to some of the larger changes. I’ve already started altering Alice’s story substantially, as I discussed in the author’s notes for the previous chapter. Here we have another significant change: in the backstory established by Stephenie Meyer, Alice’s mother was murdered, but it was ruled an accident by the authorities. Only Alice’s visions indicated it was homicide. Here, it’s widely known to be murder, but there’s a scapegoat in the form of the Axeman of New Orleans.
The Axeman is a real serial killer from the early 20th century, and while there have certainly been suspects, his true identity is still unknown, as is his motive. There are those who believe he targeted women specifically, only attacking men when they happened to be around his intended victims. Because many of the victims were Italian immigrants (many, but not all), some contemporary commentators tied him to the Mafia. The letter he allegedly wrote demanding jazz bands playing in every house that wished to go unscathed, well, I tend to agree with those who think it was a hoax, though there are wilder theories claiming it wasn’t, and he deliberately launched his spree to expand the popularity of jazz music. Whoever he was, whatever his motives, he hangs over the city of New Orleans to this day.
Was Alice’s mother Luciana actually murdered by the Axeman himself? I don’t know if I’ll end up saying either way. I don’t know if it matters, to be honest. If she was, I would say he was not necessarily tied into the Mafia, but he was a hired killer, and his reign of terror had some greater purpose. It’s just as possible the Axeman was a convenient cover story. It was a hired killer either way, and he had accomplices - the identity of the actual killer is less important here, I think, than the identity of the people who hired and helped him. We’ll learn more in the next chapter.
The last chapter was over ten thousand words, and I briefly considered letting this one be a juggernaut as well, but I hit a natural break point and it seemed better to separate things. I’m working on Chapter 6 now. I’m going on vacation in a couple weeks, and I hope to finish at least that chapter before I leave, as it’s going to mean a hiatus (and I do have another writing project I need to keep working on before the year is out, to boot). I’d really like to get out of the dark place Alice is in now, and give the poor girl the opportunity to find closure and move forward, so maybe I’ll manage to squeeze in Chapter 7 as well. We’ll see.
And now, the outtake, purely as a matter of interest.
Rosalie must have seen something in my expression, despite my best efforts, because she reached out to take my hand. “From what she says, it sounds like you taught her everything she knows. Or close to it.”
“Yeah. Well.” I cracked a small, humorless smile. “I don’t remember any of it. And I can help with theory, but...I can’t demonstrate this stuff for you, and the magic Callie practices isn’t what I’m used to.”
“The spells you talked me through seemed to work just fine the other night.”
“They did. And I’m very glad, believe me.” My smile turned a little more genuine. “I guess I’m not completely out of touch.”
“What does it feel like?” Alice asked softly, glancing between us. “If you don’t mind my asking.”
“The actual spellcasting? Or…” Rose shrugged as she trailed off.
“Any of it. All of it.”
“It’s a little different for everyone, I think,” I said slowly. “There are things we have in common, but we filter the experience through our own perceptions of the world. When you cast, it’s like something moves through you. And when you’re just living in the world, then…”
“It’s music, for me,” Rose added. “I can tune it out, but it’s like there’s a radio playing down the hall. The songs and sometimes the volume change. It’s like the world is trying to tell me something, but I can’t quite figure out what. Sometimes I pick up general themes, but that’s about it.”
I nodded. “It’s never that clear. Not without effort, and - well, I certainly don’t remember divination being my strong suit. Callie says I tended to interpret magic visually, and I saw the colors of Rosalie’s spellwork, but mostly I remember these...whispers of sensation. Something that was almost visible, almost audible, almost tangible, but not quite any of those things. I perceived it all through my mind’s eye. It felt like...standing in the ocean on a hot summer day. The water is warm and your toes are curled in the sand, the seaweed fluttering against your legs. The sun warms your skin, and the sky is that perfect shade of blue, but there are clouds scudding across it, big, white, fluffy ones, the kind that come in elaborate shapes, castles and dinosaurs and starfish and whatever else you can imagine. The wind is whistling past, and you can halfway feel, halfway hear the way it whispers of the autumn and winter days to come. You can feel so keenly that you’re a part of everything around you that it’s hard to tell where your soul ends and the world begins. And losing it is...it’s not like going blind, or deaf, or losing a limb. It’s not that simple. But it’s still...it’s loss. It would be like - if you couldn’t see the future anymore, maybe.”
Alice shuddered at that, leaning against me. “God, I can’t even imagine what that would be like. Baby…”
“Yeah. It’s okay.” I turned, planting a kiss against her hairline. “I’m...fine. I don’t need magic to get by. Plenty of people do just fine without it, it’s stupid to…”
“You’re not stupid,” Rosalie interjected. “What you’re talking about - I’ve felt that for all of a day or two. I went my whole life without it, I don’t need it, but - you found a way to give me this gift and now the idea of losing it again is horrifying to me. You were used to perceiving the world in this specific, complicated way, and you lost part of that, and you’re still coming to terms with it. I’m not going to tell you to wallow in that feeling or throw yourself a little pity party, but I understand it now. Your feelings aren’t stupid. You just...can’t let them rule you.”
I shut my eyes, nodding slowly, letting out a long breath. “Still. I have a lot to be grateful for,” I replied, putting my arm around Alice’s shoulders and squeezing gently. “There was a time, long ago, when I didn’t feel the world that way, and I was fine. It’ll come back, or it won’t, and I’ll have friends and family and love and a power of my own either way. That has to be more than enough for anyone.”
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makeste · 6 years
Text
BnHA Chapter 007: Costumes and Comforting White Rice
Previously on BnHA: Aizawa had everyone do fitness tests. Turns out superpowered children are very talented. Deku broke his finger.
Today on BnHA: COSTUMES. AND A GUY NAMED LUNCH RUSH
Notes: As always, all comments not prefaced by an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 11 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.
so the title is “costume change”, ooh I’m intrigued
All Might is helpfully rehashing the shit that just went down in the last chapter in case we missed it or weren’t paying attention
basically “Deku fucked up his finger but it was actually somehow the coolest thing ever”
right away Izuku is still crying his gritted-teeth pain!tears, so the unbroken streak continues!
aw Ocha is really happy that he did well and now won’t get expelled
I think Bakugou is broken
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[waves a hand in front of his face] you okay there pal. deep breaths. it’s going to be all right
and now he’s fucking launching himself at Deku, presumably with the intent to beat the living shit out of him, oh dear
but teacher’s not having that shit
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OH MY GOD AN ACTUAL EXPLANATION FOR THE MAGIC SCARF
YEEES THIS IS HOW WE DO THINGS IN GROWN-UP MANGA! WE EXPLAIN OUR PLOT HOLES LIKE ADULTS
THIS IS SUCH A FUCKING RUSH GUYS
also these panels are hilarious
voop
god bless, the logical explanations for everything just keep on coming. now EH is explaining that the reason he always looks so fucking shake-and-baked is because he has to maintain eye contact in order for his powers to work. I love this, it explains so much. the goggles, the eye drops, the creepy intense staring. and it’s such a good handicap for what would otherwise be an insanely OP quirk
just. thank you jesus. thank you oprah winfrey. thank you tom cruise
do you know, so far I haven’t had a single plot thing to complain about in this entire manga series. (except maybe the whole “surrounding community somehow doesn’t notice the beach cleanup happening right under their noses for ten entire months” thing.) can they possibly keep this up?
“is your finger okay?” “yeah.” NO
HGUMNANAA A FLASHBACKKKKKK A BAKUDEKU FLASHBACK. HOLD ME. I NEED TO SIT DOWN
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they’re so cute they’re so fucking cute. Izuku following him around fanboying about quirks. Baku saying Deku’s probably won’t be as cool as his. trampsing along through the woods catching bugs. using the nicknames
and now Baku is FREAKING THE FUCK OUT because he’s been the special one all this time and now Izu finally has a quirk too. like, he seems pissed off, but also strangely threatened. like he’s really nervous that Deku might all of a sudden outshine him. once again, I am speculating if there are possibly secret self-esteem issues. I know it’s too early to be theorizing and I’m just going to look like an idiot but I CAN’T HELP IT. Deku is so good and pure and kind and smart, like he has everything going for him, but because he didn’t have a quirk, Bakugou could always rest assured that he was still better! but now DEKU HAS A FUCKING QUIRK. that’s like the ONE thing he solidly had on him and now the gap is narrowing by the minute. hmm. hmmmmmmmmm
disclaimer, he’s probably just an asshole and I’m projecting character development onto him that doesn’t exist sob I know
BUT MAYBE NOT?????
anyway we’ve apparently seen all we needed to see of these tests, because Deku sums up the rest of it in a couple of summary bubbles. “after this we finished up and I hung in there but it sucked”
yay now the results. which sad son of a bitch gets kicked out I wonder. it’s occurred to me that it might not be anyone and EH might just have been fucking with them, but you never know
HAHAHA
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[SLAMS HAND ON TABLE]
NOT TO TOOT MY OWN HORN BUT I CALLED IT AND I’M A FUCKING GENIUS. [drinks a glass of water too fast and chokes]
this motherfucker is such a troll
Izuku appears to be phasing into another dimension from the shock of this news. meanwhile this smug-looking girl with a ponytail standing next to him is all like “I already fucking knew”
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you know what, smug ponytail girl, ANYONE can say that AFTER the big reveal. the real MVPs are the ones who saw it coming a whole entire page before it actually happened, so you can shove it okay
and now Eraser Head is saying “we’re done here”? but I want to see the rankings, damn it
(ETA: funny how in the anime he shows the rankings first thing and THEN all the rest of this goes down. somehow he’s an even bigger troll there.)
and he finally takes pity on Izuku and sends him to the nurse’s office. you really shouldn’t need a teacher’s permission to go see the nurse, but I guess it’s the thought that counts
and there we go! rankings. so Izu’s all the way down at the bottom. and surprisingly Bakugou is not quite at the top? AND WHAT’S THIS?
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THIS IS A NAME I RECOGNIZE. THAT’S DISCOUNT ZUKO BY GEORGE 8D
please be introduced soon, I’m excited to meet you
no idea who that person is at the very top. but hey good for them
hey guys. guess who ships All Might/Aizawa ever since their rivalish history was established in the previous chapter. [points to self]
so this is good stuff
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look at this shade being thrown back and forth. or rather, EH throwing shade and AM struggling to throw it back but he’s too much of a straight arrow for it to really work lmao. “april fool’s day was over a week ago”
also oh shit last year he threw out the whole damn bunch. those guys must have SUCKED
oh my god now All Might is smugly confirming that EH likes Izuku too
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hey guys here’s a closeup of All Might’s reaction to this:
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you like krabby patties don’t you squidward
my boy Izuku out here accumulating mentors like... something... that accumulates a lot
that’s right, he has TWO whole mentors. what a legend
I got really confused for a second when the following panel said Izu was going home after the first day. even though I know it’s not a boarding school, I somehow tricked myself into thinking it was for a sec
oh hey it’s Iida. he wants to know how Deku’s finger is
lol he didn’t remember being healed last time. thank you for that, information bubble
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I’m serious, it’s not essential information but it helps the series to remain consistent with itself, and it shows that the mangaka so far is remembering even minor details like this, and I’m honestly really impressed
Horikoshi Kouhei is the author. just looked it up. I gotta remember that. Good job so far Horikoshi-sensei. also he’s apparently younger than me?? nice to know that some of us millennials are out there crushing it at least
oh snap Recovery Girl cautions him that if he keeps getting hurt he’ll eventually run out of stamina and die. wtf. is “stamina” really a finite resource like that? can’t he just get a good night’s sleep and replenish that shit
I’m genuinely wondering how long him not being able to control his powers is going to be an issue then. I’m starting to think not that long. at first I thought it would be a very slow process, because if he got too strong too quickly it would be bad for the story. but on further reflection, it’s really the other way around. there’s only so many times he can be the only guy without any powers and trying to figure out what to do before that shit gets really old. basically right now he’s TOO nerfed
“I thought Iida was scary but he’s actually just super-serious.” he’s very nice for a 40-year-old trying to hang out with a bunch of teenagers. I’m sure you two will be good friends
Ochako!
Iida’s calling her “Infinity Girl” since she threw the ball so high it registered as “infinity meters” on Aizawa’s scale. I wonder if this name will stick, cuz I like it
haha Ochako doesn’t know Izuku’s actual first name and calls him Deku. he was listed as “Izuku” on the results board, though. you could hardly fail to notice that, since he was in last place. she just wants to call him by the cute nickname. fucking sly move there
hmm apparently he doesn’t like the name Deku? or he’s just trying to play it cool with the Girl He Likes
(ETA: now I know the whole sad story of “Deku” and its various meanings. I wonder just how much work Horikoshi put into selecting this name and its kanji)
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like he said, he fucking loves that name
“it’s like the Copernican Revolution” hahaha what. a quick Google search confirms that this was the whole shift from people thinking the sun revolved around the earth to realizing it was the other way around. I completely fail to understand what this has to do with the situation of Deku letting Ocha call him “Deku” because she thinks it’s cute. this metaphor is beyond my fucking grasp
(ETA: I must have been tired or something because it’s obviously just that he’s done a 180 from hating the name to embracing it. still a weird analogy but whatever.)
ohhhhhh here come the feels ready or not
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SHIELDS UP. IT’S THE PURE, GENTLE HAPPINESS OF A BLOSSOMING SHOUNEN FRIENDSHIP. THE PROTAGONIST’S FIRST FRIENDS EVER. NO, I MUST BE STRONG, DAMN IT. DAMN ITT
oh what the fresh hell, All Might
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first the training!! ten months! grueling!! then the entrance exam!! fighting a bunch of giant robots! not having the slightest clue about how to actually use his brand new powers! then the first day of school!! you think you’re finally safe, but NO we’re going to have a trial that may possibly expel you! but he somehow makes it past that too! surely he’s in the clear NOW, right? he has to be?? but nooo, the SECOND day of school, THAT’S when tHE REAL FUCKING TEST BEGINS, FUCK
WHAT THE FUCK IS THE THIRD DAY GOING TO BE. THE END OF THE WORLD?
lmao Mic teaching them English
lmaaaaao everyone is bored out of their fucking minds except fucking Izuku, that FUCKING NERD
the school chef is a sentient humanoid vacuum cleaner named Lunch Rush
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nice try with that gimmick there Lunch Rush, but you’re no Best Fucking Jeanist
“the white rice is comforting, so I go with that!” fucking damn, Deku. maybe try branching out just a little
by the way, Izu is narrating all of this like it’s already an established routine, but isn’t it still just the second day? or was All Might just talking out of his ass before about that “real test”
omg
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it’s All Might’s class. don’t tell me this was what he was talking about when he was going on about the “real test” fjksj
PROFESSOR LOCKHART. PROFESSOR GILDEROY LOCKHART IS THAT YOU
yet again they talk about how differently he’s drawn sob I can’t
everyone: [turns and winks at the camera] WE KNOW WE’RE CARTOOOONS
what is this pose
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gri gri gri
“today’s activity is [holds up a card that says BATTLE] BATTLE”
UNIFOOOOOOORMS
I MEAN COSTUMES
YEEEES. I’VE SEEN DEKU’S COSTUME IN TUMBLR POSTS. I WANT TO SEE HIM WEAR IT YES PLEASE
HERE WE GO
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-- PFFFFFFT
Bakugou looks... I’ll let you know when I stop laughing
Ochako looks like your standard Marvel heroine really but the two little buttons on her chest give it an extra dash of cuteness
Iida looks like a fucking super sentai with that helmet
Yuri on Ice, Mickey Mouse, Kermit the Frog, and Tall Guy with Pterodactyl Arms look fine, I guess
do not fucking tell me the chapter’s going to end before we actually see Izuku
...
the chapter ended before we actually saw Izuku
I’m going to kick you you stupid chapter
there isn’t even a bonus character bio at the end, it’s just a thing about all of Horikoshi’s assistants. good for them, I guess, I know they work fucking hard and they’re doing a good job so far
guess what I’m going to do. “read the next chapter.” yep
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