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#no one is superman
redsray · 1 month
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the funniest part of any Robin meeting the JL is that every Robin is so distinctly different from the previous one in terms of personality and vibes that the league literally gets backlash. and like, I don't blame them. not to mention that they are non-meta children that dress as a traffic light and fight crime alongside batman in gotham on a nightly basis. i'd also be a bit concerned. Batman, literally The Night of Gotham personified in the League's eyes, coming into a JL meeting: This is Robin, my crime-fighting partner. 11-year-old Dick Grayson, dressed in the brightest primary colours possible, vaguely hidden murder behind those eyes, never stops moving even for a moment: Hi! Superman: That's a child. That's-- Bats that is a child. You let a child--? Batman, deadpan: You try to stop him. Would you rather he try and murder a grown man with a wire?
Batman: This is Robin. 12-year-old Jason Todd, with the biggest grin on his face, about 3 books in his hand, stars in his eyes and a distinct street-kid drawl: Hey!!! Green Lantern: That's ... that's a different child. What?? Jason: I stole his tires :) Batman: Tried to. Jason, stage whispering to the League: basically did. Green Lantern: that is a different kid, right?? I'm not seeing shit??
Batman: This is Robin. 14-year-old Tim Drake, bo staff clutched in his hand, a wary and tired expression on his face, more on the quiet side, the literal walking definition of don't judge a book by it's cover: hello Flash: Where do you even find these-- Tim: I found myself.
Batman: This is Robin. 17-year-old Stephanie Brown, literally blonde, with a shit-eating grin, eyes full of nothing but mischief and the most explosive personality you've ever seen: hiya!! Superman: I give up. Stephanie: I know, I have that amazing effect on people.
Batman: This is Robin. 13-year-old Damian Wayne, a literal wet cat that will hiss at you, has a sword, the most judgemental stare you'll get from a teenager, ready to jump anyone there: Green Lantern: WHY DOES HE HAVE A SWORD?! Batman: ... he came with the sword.
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violent138 · 2 months
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Starting to think a cooler headcanon for Clark’s upbringing might just be that the entire town of Smallville collectively decided to just go with it and accept that Martha and John's kid has superpowers, but we don't talk about it.
Someone's tractor gets stuck and nothing can get it out? "Be a dear and run down to the Kents, would you? Ask for Clark?"
"Why Clark, we need a machine--"
"Run along now."
Or if he kicks too hard and the football vanishes into the upper stratosphere, no it didn't, we all collectively saw it land over there *vague hand movements*
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t00thpasteface · 3 months
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i am unironically obsessed with adam west batman not only trying to be a good dad to robin, but actually succeeding. also love robin's insane energy levels and his ability to go from seething bloodlust to manic glee in record time. i think any superman worth his S would fit right into the family ^_^
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januariat · 1 month
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i think if bruce saw clark deliver this line it would awaken shrimp emotions in him
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frownyalfred · 9 months
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people think Batman is the vicious attack dog Superman has on a short leash. absolutely, incredibly wrong. Batman has Mr. “I love sunshine and save puppies from trees” on a leash that consists entirely of him saying “Kal” in a low tone because Superman can’t handle a perceived threat to Batman without absolutely losing it, red burning eyes and all.
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superbat-love · 5 months
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Batman sounding the most normal about falling to his death, like it’s an expected thing by now for Superman to catch him
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arunneronthird · 5 months
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and whether his eyes stay shut or he just stops caring enough
it feels the same
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nerdpoe · 6 months
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When Danny decides to reincarnate, centuries after his adventures, he chooses a random Dimension of Heroes and Villains.
He's expecting adventure! Heroics! A life worth bragging about in the Afterlife!
He wakes up in a tube, staring down at surprised teen heroes as they release him and another person.
Later, he finds out that he's a clone of Batman and Superman, and the other clone is of Superman and Lex Luthor.
He came into this world expecting adventures, not a weird custody battle about him and his brother (because that's what Conner is) between two A-List superheroes.
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allineedisonedream · 7 days
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Kinda random, I guess. Lives just a little bit hectic lately and I just really needed to draw them and a giraffe to cheer myself up.😭💕
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strawberri-draws · 3 months
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Funniest switch up on tiktok recently is the “Reddit aita stories read by a robot voice to Minecraft parkour” posts being slowly replaced with superbat tumblr fics instead, and people in the comments being like “I’ve never thought about Batman and Superman kissing until now but now I’m invested”
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sisaloofafump · 11 days
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In case it seems like every third comic has Batman in it... you're not wrong. He's been in 38.6% of DC issues since 2020, with a stark increase of 8% each decade since the 90s and surpassing Superman in popularity. Despite this, there's been a massive drop off of comics where he is teamed up with Superman or a Robin (although the amount of group team ups between Batman Family members has increased, as well as Nightwing solos).
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teep-524 · 7 months
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Saving all the cats in all the trees~
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bbbbbbbbatman · 23 days
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Clark would never admit this but when he found out Batman’s identity there was a small part of him that was disappointed that his fantasy threesome would never happen
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sasswonfp · 1 year
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This joke came to me in a fit of laughter (ALT description provided :3!)
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imintogothamcityguys · 3 months
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I bet on winter days Bruce just gets hit randomly by snowballs while out on patrol. He is impressed by how well his kids are hidden and he didn’t see it coming, but really it was Clark launching them from Metropolis.
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frownyalfred · 2 months
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“Jason wouldn’t want you to do this, Bruce,” Clark says, trying to stop Bruce from doing something Jason would very much want him to do (kill the Joker, barehanded and slowly).
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