#no one actually lost any money or value bc it was expected

[allur1ngs]

✮ colder hearts ✮

TW: mentions of violence, guns, typical mafia activities, arranged marriage (what can i say, i'm a sucker for tropes), age gap--bada is in her mid to late twenties and reader is in her early-ish twenties, bada speaks pretty formally bcs in this au i feel like she'd be extremely professional even when it comes to her loved ones, not edited bcs i got too excited and wanted to put this out asap so please ignore any mistakes

SUMMARY: your arranged marriage to older!cold!mafia boss!bada lee unfolds, revealing that there's more than just ice behind her cold heart.

part ii. enflame

WC: 1.9k

A/N: a lot of thoughts have been stewing in my mind thanks to @beetlejuicyy 's awesome mafia!bada content, + isabel larosa's song older!! this is just for fun!

DISCLAIMER: all characteristics portrayed are purely speculation and fiction, they are not meant to reflect bada's actual character, values, or attitudes. please keep this in mind!!

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who, despite being older than you, is still considered too young to be a leader in the mafia business, which had initially made her a target of turf wars.

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who, despite all odds, won every single one of the battles because of her cunning strategies and equally talented members.

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who becomes known for her cutthroat and merciless deals. She might be younger in the mafia scene, but she proved her commitment to her business when she had one of her lackeys killed for fumbling a job.

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA whose engagement to you comes as a surprise. Having known nothing about your parent's business beyond the large amounts of money they made, you were shocked to find them sitting across from the infamous Bada Lee, the leader of the mafia crew, Bebe.

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who has an undeniable, powerful presence. Even her simply sitting on the polished leather seats in your living room had you intimidated. Her blank stare sweeping across your entire being in mere seconds, boring her dark brown--almost greyish eyes into yours, never breaking eye contact for a second. there's a clear hierarchy in this room, and it's clear to everyone you're at the bottom of it.

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who, along with your parents, spare no time explaining her sudden appearance. words echo in the golden-trimmed room at impossible speeds, words like "marriage", "business deal", "protection", "money" deafen your ears and cause your skin to prick up.

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who speaks to you then, her calculating eyes noticing the lost look in your own.

"We are going to be wed." She cuts through the jabbering voices of your parents, immediately causing them to fall silent. "I will provide you with a lifestyle grander than you could ever imagine, and your parents and I will secure a firm partnership as a result."

You remain silent only for a brief moment. "And what will you gain from this arrangement?"

Bada's lips form a thin line. It's not as if she hadn't expected you to speak up, but your question mildly surprises her. "Your parent's partnership..." she trails off for a moment, her sharp eyes finding your parent's figures, then sliding back to yours. "and your companionship."

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who makes it clear to you when you move into her personal home--or more accurately--mansion, that you are not a piece of meat to her, or a body to warm her bed.

"I asked your parents to inform you of our arrangement beforehand." She stands tall before you, her black suit crisp and free from wrinkles as her long, thin fingers come to pinch the bridge of her nose in mild annoyance. "But it's clear to me from your demeanor when we first met that you were not." She sighs quietly, then removes her fingers from her nose bridge. She watches you silently before approaching you in long strides, now standing inches away from you. "You are under no obligation to stay with me. Say the word and you will be returned to your parents, and our union will be resolved. No consequences, no questions asked."

Despite knowing her for such little time, her words surprise you. The way she speaks to you is gentle, yet stern.

You're thrown for a loop. Just who is Bada Lee?

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who, despite being confident in what she can provide first you, is surprised when you turn down her offer to return to your parents. It seems your union will remain intact.

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who shows you her professionalism when laying out what is expected of you.

"There are only three things I ask of you while you stay with me." She holds up three corresponding fingers in the air. "One, you must never lie to me."

Her finger drops as she uses her other hand to gesture to the rest of her crew who stand behind her.

"Everyone in this room is here because they have never once lied to me in their life." She explains. "Truth is something I value more than anything, so I promise to never lie to you. Of course, I expect the same from you."

"What about little white lies?" You cut in.

"White lies mean nothing to me." Bada dismisses. "But never lie to me about something important."

The next rule she declares seems easy enough.

"Number two, loyalty." She places another finger down. "Pretty self-explanatory."

You nod absentmindedly, trying to ignore how every moment you remain in the room with Bada and her crew, you become more and more nervous.

"The last and the most important," Bada leans over her sleek desk, her eyes lowering while she stares at you. "do not put yourself in unnecessary danger. You are under my care now, so your health and safety is my first priority. Never compromise them."

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who sets firm boundaries with you.

"I want to make it clear to you that despite our wedding in the future," Bada licks her lips, her hands clasping together in front of her in a firm position. "I will not fall in love with you."

Your expression quickly twists into a look of confusion. Companionship, she had said.

"Feelings make business more difficult. Makes it harder for me to protect you." She says flatly. "I am more than happy to be another acquaintance of yours, or someone you cast aside while you enjoy the fruits of the lifestyle I can provide you."

"I like neither of those options." You respond somewhat bitterly. When you were told you'd be engaged, you expected for there to be at least some semblance of feelings between you and your betrothed. A lifetime of coldness and solitude was not something you signed up for.

"Then," Bada’s cold demeanor slips for a second, and if you weren’t paying so much attention to her in that moment, you would have missed it. “we can be friends."

And for the first time, you see her lips settle into a half smile.

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who immediately gives you a card with funds for you to spend wherever you want, and whenever you want.

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who assigns one of her most trusted and talented members to be your bodyguard. When she said your safety was her priority, she wasn't lying.

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who's surprised when you come to visit her the following morning, carrying a tray of breakfast foods.

"Good morning." She greets you, her eyes quickly moving from the food in your hands to your eyes. You’ve noticed that Bada loves making eye contact when she speaks to you.

"Good morning." You greet back. Although the smile on your lips doesn’t fully reach your eyes, you’re trying your best to stay positive. You never know, your friendship with the mafia boss before you could end up being beautiful.

"And to what do I owe the pleasure of your visitation?" Her words fall from her lips in a soft cadence, careful to make sure her tone doesn’t make it seem like she’s bothered by your presence.

Which is strange, she realizes. She hates being disturbed in the morning. It’s when her best ideas come to her.

"I thought," you begin while placing the breakfast tray in front of her. "if we are going to be friends, we might as well get to know each other."

Bada’s lips form a smirk as she leans back into her chair, her legs spreading apart.

"And…" you smile at her. "I heard you hadn’t eaten breakfast yet."

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who allows you to stay in her office for as long as possible, trying to convince herself that it's not because she's entranced by how you smile brightly at her when she engages in conversation with you, or how you cover your mouth to laugh at something she's said. No, it's definitely not because of that.

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who starts to look forward to your morning visits. When she's particularly busy and you have to cut your conversation short, she feels a weight lift off her shoulders the second her eyes scratch your figure walking down the halls of your shared home, your bodyguard following after you diligently.

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who tells your bodyguard to only take you to stores that are managed by her partners. She knows they'd never hurt you. You're her bride-to-be, after all.

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who's in a particularly boring business meeting when she receives a call from your bodyguard on her personal phone. Her eyebrows immediately shoot up, a frown settling on her lips. She only receives calls from her personal phone when there's an emergency.

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA whose heart drops when she hears your bodyguard shout into the phone that a rival gang had decided to have a shootout in the area where you'd been shopping for groceries.

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who in a panicked, yet stern and chilly voice tells your bodyguard to protect you at all costs while she calls for backup.

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who breaks multiple laws to speed to the grocery store, practically throwing herself into a street with bullets flying everywhere and broken glass littering the floor. She doesn't care. She runs into the store, shouting your name before ducking behind a turned-over shelf.

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who breathes a sigh of relief when she hears you call out to her, your bodyguard shooting at a rival gang member that was about to enter the store. She rushes over to you, using her body to block you from the onslaught outside the store.

"Are you okay?" Bada's wide eyes find yours, then sweep over your body, looking for any injuries. "Are you hurt?" Her hands come to clutch the sides of your face, only pausing for a second when she sees a semi-long cut running along the soft skin of it.

"I'm fine." You breathe, your hands resting on top of hers. "Just surprised--"

"You're hurt." The way she says the words breaks your heart. It's like she'd been the one wounded, with how her eyes turn to large, sad pools, and her frown tugs down even further.

You flinch, one of your hands moving from hers and coming up to touch the cut on your cheek. "I didn't even notice--"

Before you can finish your sentence, Bada had already leaned in, her plush and soft lips pressing a gentle kiss onto the skin next to your wound.

When she pulls away you're stunned by her loving gesture, but neither of you is able to say anything before she quickly gathers your body into her arms, and cradles you close like she's scared of losing you.

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who doesn't hesitate to dispose of anyone who threatens to harm you.

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who after that incident, only refers to you as her fiancée. Not as a form of endearment--of course not--but just as a form of respect to your upcoming union.

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who with every passing day, finds it harder to fight the warmth she feels when her eyes take in your form.

OLDER!COLD!MAFIA BOSS!BADA who'd fallen in love with you the day she'd met you, despite how hard she tried not to.

#bada lee x reader #bada x reader #bada lee #bada #street woman fighter 2 x reader #swf2 x reader

[sanstropfremir]

ok nana unsubtly kicked me in the ass about this and i realized they were mostly done anyways so here we go! only four months late!

best stylings 2023 - first half

runners' up

rising - triples

there are two good stages with funky athletic wear, but it wasn't enough to bump it up to the overall category. mcountdown 230216, the show 230221

abyss - woodz

didn't promote it which is a shame, but the variety in the costuming for the different versions of himself is well done and it's a beautifully shot bottle mv.

moody - superkind

you got a fake member you gotta make it spooky!!! he's not real that's inherently spooky!!! anyways this is what i wanted them to do right off the bat some i'm glad they finally got my psychic memo.

golden hour - mark

absolutely fucking crazy. fantastic imagery. i think i talked about it earlier in the year but it's such a stupid and hilarious idea to make a whole diss track mv about a several year old meme and then actually make it strange and weird art. obsessed with it still.

sos - kang daniel

i'm also including the wasteland music sequence here because holy shit when this dropped i lost my mind. i'm always surprised by what kang daniel does bc i can never predict it, which over the last few years i'm coming to enjoy. and i absolutely did not expect him to produce basically an entire wild west mad max movie with equal the production value???? literally how did he do this. how. and then everyone paid it dirt??? it's an amazing mv and one of my faves of the year, the only reason it's not bumped up categories is bc although the styling was actually one of the only times tactical gear has been thematically relevant to a cb, its been so overused that it has no punch anymore, which makes me sad bc the tactical gear was good! and a good choice! and i feel bad saying it has no punch bc it should have!

small talk - kim sungkyu

we love when sungkyu acknowledges that he's annoying and a loser. all these outfits were so losercore. i loved this deviation from form for him; he's normally king wailer supreme, but he does smooth upbeat rock very well and it's a nice contrast with the capital y yearning that's in the bsides. it's only here bc he didn't promote much and i'm mad at him for putting dancing in the mv and then not dancing in any of the stages. mcountdown 230629, music core 230708, inkigayo 230709

ay-yo - nct 127

this is just here for taeyong's urchin outfit. well i'm a bit of liar it is actually a really fun early 00s inspired mv, but we all know the urchin outfit stole the show.

stamp on it - got the beat

i will hear NO slander against got the beat in this house, this was a great mv i love hot women planning a heist.

tricky house - xikers

FANTASTIC debut. does a really great job of establishing a character for them as a group and it's got such unique flavour. kq has made great use of their ateez money and also the lessons that they learned with ateez. i'm excited to see where xikers goes in the future, and since i'm writing this section from the future i can say that i do like where they've gone with full confidence. the only reason it didn't make the top list is bc the styling is kinda average for this era of kpop.

best overall

rose blossom - h1 key

i was aware of h1key before this but they hadn't really grabbed me, but damn this cb was so good. the mv is a nice mix of story and dance sections. plus a surreal section in the middle! and by virtue of being like the first cb of the year, they got the jump on this alt girl look that would be the dominating look for ggs this year. and i do think first did it best in this case, all the looks are smart with good group synergy and and a lot of creativity; when you do this type of alt-y punky style it's important that there's a diy element to it, which a lot of groups fail to grasp bc stylists are obsessed with luxury branding. h1key manages to avoid that mostly by being flops, but i'd like to believe its also bc their creative team cared about capturing the true spirit of the style.

stages: music bank 230106, mcountdown 230202, music bank 230203, mcountdown 230119, inkigayo 230108

tic tac - 8turn

honestly i was kinda ready to not like these guys since mnh shat the bed with chungha, but then i remembered that the mnh creative team is very good at their jobs, so here we are. this is one of the few debuts/cbs this year where every single stage was a hit and it was very hard to narrow down to just a few for here; lots of good emphasis on shape and colour and accent pieces with repeated motifs, which was a big part of the fashion in the 00s that they are remixing here. very strong debut especially for so early in the year and i'm looking forward to more.

stages: show champion 230208, mcountdown 230202, music bank 230203, show champion 230222, music core 230211, mcountdown 230223, music core 230225, inkigayo 230226

bonus: this absolutely hysterical 4minute cover (they even got the name bucket hats! not in the stage, but they had them in photos)

sweet juice - purple kiss

i'm not normally a fan of wes anderson or wes anderson inspired aesthetics because i find them too twee and perfect, but this wasn't too direct in it's inspirations and definitely had the spooky purki flavour. i really liked the uniformity of the costuming, both literally using uniform motifs and using the same fabrics; i really do miss the days when kpop costumes were design to actually be costumes with the group image in mind.

stages: mcountdown 230216, inkigayo 230219, music core 230225, music bank 230224, inkigayo 230226, music core 230304, inkigayo 230305

sour & sweet - bambam

bambam again proving that he's one of the few idols that knows his shit in terms of interesting styling. also if anyone knows where he filmed the mv/performance vid please tell me i need to know bc its so beautiful.

stages: mcountdown 230330, music bank 230331, inkigayo 230402, music bank 230407, music core 230408, inkigayo 230409,

bsides: music bank 230331, inkigayo 230409,

macarena - blitzers

i'm so so so glad blitzers got a bit more attention this year bc they deserve it and macarena was so good. perfect culmination of their goofy ass talents and the unusual creativity of their performance + creative directors. i'm even linking the mv teaser here bc its so goofy and offbeat and different. honestly i'd recommend watching as many of the stages as you can find bc they do different intros every time and it's very funny, but unfortunately tumblr has a link limit so i can't link them all.

stages: show champion 230426, music bank 230428, music core 230429, inkigayo 230430, inkigayo 230514, music core 230527

bouncy - ateez

yea yea yea nobody is surprised so sue me. this was a crazy followup to halazia and proved that ateez can deftly switch between serious dramatic performance and comedic but no less dramatic. i'm very happy to see how much work has been going into the main ateez mvs in the last year because it has very clear and striking direction that fits both their performance style and their creative ambition, as well as their growth as a group. also yea i'm not immune to neon cowboy shit.

stages: inkigayo 230618, music bank 230616, the show 230620, mcountdown 230622, music bank 230623, mcountdown 230629, music core 230701, inkigayo 230702

kick it 4 now - tnx

tnx had an absolutely banging 2023 and although kick it 4 now is has superior and more comprehensive production, love or die is also a very good cb, and both of them together have shown that they have a really good grasp on the genre of teen listlessness, from two different directions. kick it 4 now has been i think the most successful cb to actually capture the feel of first gen, and the creative team did a lot of extra work in order to pull that off. from all the graphic design to the goofy lil 90s style music show promos, to the styling, they had a clear goal and achieved it. i think it will be quite difficult for any other group to pull it off this thoroughly.

stages: music bank 230609 (the giant lyrics!!!), music core 230610, show champion 230614 (more giant lyrics!!), music core 230617, mcountdown 230622

shooting star + left right - xg

we all already know that left right was my most listened song this year, but the fact that the mv was b movie sci fi star trek themed? it's like simon made everything about this specifically for me thank you. xg blew everyone out of the water this year on every front; music, styling, choreography, you name it. i said i wanted groups to commit to their bits and i got it. they were completely unafraid to actually commit to the y2k nostalgia AND to harajuku styling; a lot of groups have weakly pawed at it but always back away due to the fact that harajuku and y2k are not actually 'pretty' fashion trends, which leaves their attempts half assed with no real understanding of why and how those trends happened. xg came saw and conquered the current trend in a way that only a japanese gg can do. my only annoyance is that they tone down the stylings when they promote on music shows, and i know why they do it, so it's not an annoyance at them, it's an annoyance at everyone else.

stages: shooting star - mcountdown 230202, con-tour 230217, the show 230221, inkigayo 230212, inkigayo 230205, con-tour 230224

left right - the show 230228, show champion 230222

circle - onew

absolute masterpiece. album of the year in every way. it's a profoundly beautiful unpacking of grief and the sadness that comes with acknowledging that things change, and the way that in that change life and humanity and story is eternal. a circle. the theatre imagery combined with the 60s style children's tv show use their similar but contrasting forms to illustrate the same point: something can be eternal and fleeting at the same time, and that heightens its value rather than diminishing it. the promo campaign was so thought out as well, i love the integration of the theatre imagery into the highlight medley and i highly recommend you watch it if you haven't. one of the best cbs from a solo artist in years.

stages: mcountdown 230309, music core 230311, music bank 230317, inkigayo 230319

--

ignore the fact this was almost five months late even though i started writing in like. november. i'm busy ok. it's planting season and i have to send so much post. the choreos post is the next most finished so that will probably be out before the styling second half one.

#is there even anyone left who wants to read these lmao. i mean other than nana since she was creeping my 2022 styling posts #kinda miss the pandemic days when we were all stuck on the internet but also no i do not #i'm trimming down on how much i do for these posts also since i dont have time to sift through all my saved links #just know there's a lot of one offs etc that are sitting in a mega playlist on my youtube. #im just focussing on the ones that made the biggest impact with me bc there's just so much its actually kinda crazy #text #kpop styling #what else did i even tag these as i dont even remember its been so long #kpop analysis #end of year posts #best of 2023

[vikingosten]

basic introduction to my landskap oc’s

Making an official re-introduction to my hetalia oc’s,which are all based off the swedish landskap (aka swedish statetalia),and explaining how it works n shit :D (warning for long post) THIS IS AN INFO DUMP

First off,the 25 diffrent landskap are not actually related,but They act like siblings,or at the very least like cousins.A few are actually related like siblings,and they Will be listed below

Jämtland and Härjedalen (Older sister,younger brother)

Norrbotten and västerbotten (Twins)

Västergötland and Östergötland (uuuuuhhh not sure might be twins tho)

So yeah thats it- Some landskap are also related to other landskap from neighboring countries (And with that i mean Jämtland and Härjedalen are also related to the norwegian Trøndelag).

many landskap are also closer to eachother than others,especially if they share a major city,or if they have a long history together.This might also be the case if They belong in the same ’part’ of the country,either Norrland,Svealand or Götaland.These groups occasionally have ’meetings’ to feel like grownups,but they really just hang out.

In my au,the landskap are children or teens bc i said so <3 but i might make an adult Au aswell bc yes

So you might be asking ’How tf do these children survive?’ And the answer is They have diffrent ways of getting money.Some sell stuff on their own,some work part time,and some have perfected the art of being a criminal :),most of them are kinda broke tho.

They have managed to..Erase themselves from most state records on account that they dont want be publically known,and most adopt common names or regularly change names every 20 years or so.

They also have their own homes,that they either bought ages ago,built themselves or just erased any knowledge of the estate in question.

Physical ages of all of them will be listed below (i have changed these a bit from the of versions for reasons,and dont expect them to make sense bc i value aesthetics)

Norrland

Lappland-17

Västerbotten/norrbotten -15

Ångermanland - 14

Jämtland - 15

Härjedalen - 10

Medelpad - 12

Hälsingland - 15

Gästrikland - 11

Svealand

Dalarna - 16

Uppland - 15

Södermanland - 15

Västmanland - 14

Värmland -16

Närke - 8

Götaland

Gotland - 14

Öland - 10

Dalsland- 16

Bohuslän - 14

Halland-16

Västergötland-15

Östergötland-15

Blekinge-14

Småland-17

Skåne-17

aaaand that was all the ages! Human names are yet to be decided,but Ill post those together with some characters,and if Anyone has suggestions,feel free to send em in.

i wil primarily post about Härjedalen,Jämtland,lappland and dalarna,But Ill also post about many of the others,and some May get lost bc i dont give a crap abt them <3 How They live,and just are in general

Jämtland and Härjedalen are the closest,and they live in a cottage in the Woods,right at the border between their grounds.Härjedalen is forest boi and he also has a load of scars from bad decision making,and he keeps taking home wild animals.He is also mostly non-verbal,rarely speaking with his sister.

Jämtland is calmer,and quite independent,but She still has her own moments of bad decicion making.They both have autism bc i like to project <3 They make money by either selling handicrafts,old viking relics from their youth or by working small jobs.Both can see magical creatures,but härjedalen can see them better,while Jämtland can only do it occasionally,and secretly thinks shes mentally ill because of it.

Dalarna lives in the mountains,in What used to be a vacation house/summer house.He likes to pretend that he is more modern,and less of a grasstoucher than his northern neighbors,but he too loves frolicing in nature,and he secretly misses the times before his home became one big winter vacation spot for rich city people wanting to ski.

He too enjoys to ski,but he does it uninterupted,in non-crowded hills,and he uses high quality gear.He also illegally owns a snow mobile.He makes money by selling his own stuff,or asking(forcing) Härjedalen to make souvenirs.He’s not proud,but he picks shame above starvation.He also has Adhd (again,projecting)

Lappland is a very quiet girl.She can be a bit aloof,since She is also non-verbal unless in trusted company.She can be anxious,and She lives a bit away from Kiruna.She dislikes testing her boundaries,rather sticking to her own routine.She also surrounds herself with animals rather than people.How She makes money is unknown,but she might get it through illegal means.She also acts like a responsible,big sister to the norrland gang the few times They meet.

NOW FOR USELESS HC’S THAT HAVE NO MEANING WHAT SO EVER YIPPIEEEE

-Jämtland is Kinda anxious and is prone to insomnia

-Härjedalen cant read.Or write.

-Dalarna has spent 18 years of his life with atleast one limb in a cast

-Härjedalen has a high af resistance against poison,but will fall Ill like a victorian child from one damn sneeze.

-Republiken jämtland (apparently a micronation) is a ladybug bc i said so.

That was it! Ill add more stuff as time goes by! Feel free to ask stuff bc i like spewing out info!

#Hetalia #hetalia oc #long post

[illusoryair]

My thoughts on LB6.1 (spoilers below)

Okay, I actually finished up to the current time lock a whole week ago but I didn’t bother doing a write up until now.

Firstly, I really enjoy the story! Nasu’s thematic writing is always great. Even though it was a lot of reading, it didn’t feel like as much of a labour to get through (compared to, say, Olympus).

I went into this with some spoilers, because fanartists latched onto some characters in particular (**ahem**Oberon**ahem**I am also extremely excited for the reveal**ahem**) but other than that, I didn’t know much.

This whole lostbelt had me going “Yep, sounds like fairies alright.”  Fairies viewing humans as curiosities and imitating human culture out of interest rather than actual need. Wonder if this would have been how Morgan wanted to rule Britain had she won over Arthur in PHH? To create a world where fairies are the dominant kind and humans are subservient?

Castoria is quite a different person to Artoria. (Basing on what I have read in the VN and Garden of Avalon story.) While Artoria had strong conviction in her path as the king, Castoria is wavering and unconfident. It doesn’t feel right to treat them as the same person. I wish people would stop treating them as the same person. (Same with Muramasa and Shirou. Muramasa is an old crabby man. He acts nothing like Shirou. Stop treating him as interchangeable with Shirou.)

Tristan’s interactions with Castoria were quite sweet. While she resembles his king, he realises that she is still an immature and weak child who is still on the path to be the Chosen One. He was encouraging of her even if she felt like she was disappointing. I’m sad he had to leave the story early.

The whole confusion over the Child of the Prophecy was hilarious. There are three suspected Child of the Prophecy running around at this exact moment and one of them is trying to buy another one.

Mash, while she lost her memory, still retains her values. It was quite interesting having her story read alongside ours. I saw a theory from Discord that her claiming the name Galahad was what gave her the power up. Which seems possible, seeing as the Tam Lin/Fairy Knights are also using the names of famed knights, and how, for fairies, names are tied to purpose. (But does it work the other way round? Can you just grab a name and get the purpose as well?) We got separated from her too soon though. Wonder how she’s processing everything that has happened since, with the implication that she was captured into slavery, forced into a marriage (even if she managed to stop it, uh, being consummated), then failing to protect the city where she had found a home and friends. Yeah, heavy stuff.

The side characters in Mash’s story were quite interesting. Winky, Rob and Wag told a story of people who did dishonest work because they had no other choice, it was all they could do to survive. Winky chose to go after money while Rob and Wag were moved by Mash’s selflessness and desired to do what was right. They all ended up dying, but we can see who could face their death proudly. (I did not expect these characters to give me feelings.) Boggart wanted power to defy the queen, but in the end what he really desired was to be able to protect the home that he treasured.

What is up with Cu (Grimr?) He had 2 minutes of screen time before announcing he might not make it out of the fight. I’m so curious about his presence and then he doesn’t give any answers. Please tell me he still has a role in the story.

Moving onto theories...

What was the divergence point of the lostbelt? I feel like it must have diverged really far back (well, the timeline gives us 12000 fairy years “BC”). It could be as result of messing around with the natural order of the world, to make fairies on top rather than humans, despite the fact that it’s impossible for fairies to make progress since they lack creativity. The fact that not many fairies remember or know the history very far back isn’t helpful. 

What are calamities? If we follow with natural order of the world being messed with, it could be the World’s (capital W) natural reaction to it. There are no heroic spirits to act as a natural defense so it takes this shape instead. Or, the calamity is just a collection of mors, which are dead spirits of fairies which are unable to return to nature, that reaches critical mass every 100 years.

How is Morgan dealing with the calamity? I don’t know what powers her mirror has aside from teleportation, so I can only guess that she straight up teleports the calamity outside of Britain. It’s France’s problem now or something.

We had some name drops: Aesc and Queen Mab and some others which I forgot. There’s not enough information on them for me to speculate, but I’m going to guess Mab is the lostbelt version of Medb simply because their names are similar.

Why is Morgan forcing everyone to imitate humans and pay massive taxes? Could be to do with the unnatural order of the world. Fairies still have purpose which is intrinsically tied to what humans do. A fairy society would never be possible, so they need to imitate human society as much as possible to even continue to exist. For taxes, the easy answer would be it adds to her lifespan or it’s for power to continue her rule. We also don’t have much info on Morgan so I can’t come up with anything else.

Might add more if something pops up in my head, but I’ll probably just wait to play when the next section drops next week.

#fgo lb6

[cryptidcalling]

Bc Cosmo was inspired by a Fen AU I wanna outline some of their major differences as characters!! Cosmo's still developing so there will probably be more intricate differences later on, but for now I just wanna get the big things down on paper.

I think the biggest differences between Cosmo and Fen are how they feel about memory, shame and insecurity, and bodily comfort.

Memory

Fen has a deep emotional bond to his memories. They're all he really has left of his home, family, and culture, so he does whatever he can to treasure and preserve them. He's always telling others about where he comes from and what his culture is like, and takes great care to act in accordance with the values and traditions of his people. If he were to learn that he was actually missing a large chunk of his memory he'd be deeply devistated and would work on getting those memories back almost to the point of obsession. One of his biggest character arcs is learning to move on from his past in order to make new bonds and find a new home. There's a reason he's chosen to be a vagabond for 15 years, even when he doesn't realize it.

Cosmo has almost no memories to begin with, but he really doesn't care. His past doesn't matter to him in any deep or meaningful sense. He gets curious about it when it comes up, especially when his mushroom friends drop random ass hints to it and then don't elaborate. But his curiosity is based more on the fact that his friends clearly have information that they're not sharing with him. It could be any sort of information about him, he's equally as curious about what his favorite color used to be as who his family is or if they're even alive. He just wants to know what they know because he wants to feel included, he doesn't actually care too much about the information itself.

Shame and Insecurity

While Fen is definitely capable of being embarassed (if he goofs up something, trips as falls, has to admit some thing he kinda wants to be secret, the very standard embarassing things) he's very unashamed and secure as a person. He's always been kinda weird, playing with slugs and digging holes and definitely walking up stairs on all fours sometimes. Refuses to wear shoes (slippers or boots only), will dig in people's trash for empty glass bottles, works for free and refuses to sell his potions for money, openly eavesdrops with zero ill intent/will just blatantly stare at people, he's just kinda an oddball. And he's perfectly content with that! He's very happy with himself just as he is, and if he's not feeling embarassed naturally on his own it's very very difficult for someone else to MAKE him feel shame. He lacks any major insecurities, he does self care, and is content just being Fen.

Cosmo isn't... exactly socially insecure. But he's very aware of his abnormality. He pretends to sleep, he makes himself eat and drink, he uses cloaks and glamors, all in order to hide how he's not a regular person (using person as a stand in for terms like 'human' as well, for simplicity). But he only does all that because it makes his life easier, and because his friends encourage him to do so. Where Cosmo's real insecurities lie are how un-mushroomlike he is. He can't decompose things or absorb his own nutrients, his entire physical body is wrong, he has to speak physically rather than psychically, he can't connect to the collective mind of the mycellium without his friends linking him in, he can't even make spores. And every time his friends keep him out, keep secrets, refuse to answer his questions, it all serves to make him feel even more insecure about what he is.

Bodily comfort

As expected, Fen loves his body just how it is. He has the abiliy to change it whenever he wants to with magic, but he simply chooses not to. Everything about his body is exactly as it should be. Perfectly Firbolg like, Perfectly Fen, nothing that needs to be changed. Sometimes he even finds active comfort in how he looks, because he looks like the people he lost.

Cosmo's deepest, most character-motivating insecurity is his body. He's very unhappy that it is the way it is, because no matter how much he insists on lying to everyone else and to himself he knows deep down that its a person body. He doesn't want to HAVE a person body, he wants to have a FUNGAL body the way all of his friends do. Everything about it makes him uncomfortable, but a good example is how he feels about eating things. He doesn't really like eating, because he becomes hyper aware of the taste and texture in his mouth. A mouth he shouldn't have, getting nutrients in a way he shouldn't be getting them. It especially upsets him that if he were to try and eat something a regular fungus would eat, dead logs or old uncooked meat, he'd choke and gag on it until he threw it all back up. An unvoluntary response to the food his kind are SUPPOSED to eat. Still, he finds a lot of comfort in knowing that it's only temporary. His friends want him to be like them too, they're helping him and guiding him to that specific end. So even when he doesn't understand the means he'll obey them. He also gets comfort from decorating himself in a mushroom-like fashion. His sweater looks like a mushroom cap, the wrap around his waist somewhat resemble gills, and his friends cover half of his body. It helps with a sort of dysphoria he feels.

#Fen tag #Cosmo tag #Not proofread

[finstermond]

people praising ronaldo bc he made coca cola lose value in thr stock market. alright none of ya'll know how this works apparantly and no one cares enough to google it, nice

#it was just coca cola paid their dividends to investors that day #every stock loses value when they pay dividends #no one actually lost any money or value bc it was expected

[syubub]

What makes BTS most vulnerable

Woo! A reading! I wanted to do this bc its been on my list for a little while now!

I just got off work and wanted to do this asap! Pls forgive mistakes! I'm not gonna proof read bc im lazy.

Cheeky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!!

So so so so

First off, I did each member and also one for the group! I didn't have a specific plan in mind when I started, so I just went with the flow!

Let's start with the group first

So. The 5 of pentacles is what makes them most vulnerable. This card talks about isolation, feeling lost, anxiety, not having money or influence. Most of all, a mindset of lack.

All of this to me makes me think that what makes them most vulnerable is the fear of being right back where they started. Feeling exiled from the industry, not having the funds to be sure of a stable future and also not having a strong sense of identity as a group and within the group. It's like their vulnerability comes from something almost like ptsd? Let me try to make that make more sense. I genuinely think that where they started and the uncertainty and constant ridicule really had an impact on them. The vulnerability they have as a group is essentially emotional distress? Like, I wish I had better words to explain. It's the fear that they haven't actually grown or gotten anywhere and that they are insignificant that is their vulnerability. Fear based on where they started?

I really hope that made sense. Moving on though, 7 of swords is how it manifests for them. This card is sneaky. It talks about getting away with something and betrayal but I think this meaning is the most relevant: strategic moves. So how their vulnerability manifests is that the fear that they have causes them (and the company) to make very specific moves to keep their fears from happening. It's like, they take steps to make sure their fears don't get realized. Career wise but also personally. They can sometimes force growth because they fear stagnation. Kinda like rolling something uphill? Once it loses momentum it starts rolling back down.

The other two cards, Wellness and busy times and multitasking, are what they can do to lessen that vulnerability. Keeping healthy in mind body and spirit (also keeping the group bond healthy too) as well as channeling their emotions and fears into productivity. (Think the ly:tear album)

Seokjin

This is really intresting. So, what makes him most vulnerable is repressed emotion that causes inner turmoil. The moon is all about your insides and the vastness it has. In its reverse it talks about the darker parts of your subconscious. So, him bottling shit up and repressing it becomes a monster that affects him without him even necessarily knowing.

As for how that manifest in his life, it literally affects his judgment. Like, literally. It messes with his decision making.

As a fellow human with a similar problem, I can almost bet that any issue he has with another member will be shoved away and it will fester until he's at his breaking point and he'll absolutely weaponize it but disguise it as "just poking fun" or he might also purposefully create low level chaos. It's really intresting because this could manifest in so many ways. It could be his insecurities, issues with other people, fears ect and they fester in his brain space fucking with his judgment.

What he can do to lessen this vulnerability is deep emotional healing. Istg these cards are too perfect to make up. He needs to do THE WORK and heal it. He probably recognizes this and is working on it. Its not fair to himself to put himself aside in order to put other people first. (I think this probably happened a lot in the early bts days bc he had to be an older brother and a responsible figure to 6 other kids so he prioritized group harmony over his own issues and emotions)

Yoongi

????

Um, okay. So what makes yoongi most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. That's the 10 of pentacles rev. But it gets interesting bc the 10 of swords isn't what makes him vulnerable but it also isn't how it manifests?? So here's my theory time. What makes him most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. I can only assume that it's the isolation and internal conflict of benefiting off of a system that fucked you over in the first half of your life and also feeling bad for having wealth that most people can never imagine? I really don't know? But with the 10 of swords talking about betrayal and deep wounds, it could be that he's extremely afraid of being taken advantage of? Like, that's another downside of wealth. Maybe people have tried to use him for money or influence? Especially in his personal life. Like, he probably finds it extremely hard to get close to people because he's afraid of betrayal over something that is already hard for him to deal with?

Also loss. He wasn't born rich. He worked his ass off to get what he has and he's probably afraid to lose it. He might "stash" money?

Anyway, knight of swords, how it manifests. This card is about a drive to succeed. So essentially this makes him run and push himself hard and harder and harder to out run what he sees as an inevitable end? Sometimes this can blind him.

As for what he can do to lessen this vulnerability, we have, self confidence through God confidence. This card to me talks about having faith in your actions and skills and trusting in yourself even if you doubt your ability. Essentially, yoongi just needs to trust in himself to land on his feet no matter what happens. Life is always uncertain so he needs to trust that he can weather any storm he might face.

Hoseok

This was one gave me some thoughts. So, similar to jin, it's the bottling shit up and having you subconscious mind eventually figure shit out because it's been neglected but with the 2 of swords in reverse, talking about confusion and being indecisive, I think this kinda causes him to shut down? He might get apathetic. It's almost like when you work a computer so hard that it crashes.

And how this manifests for him with the 3 of pentacles in reverse is that he gets thrown out of alignment with the group. Kinda like how you shouldn't drive on a flat tire. He withdraws and becomes hard to reach and puts up a wall that causes a lot of problems for him as well as those he is around. It's a defense mechanism. It can also manifest in him preferring to work alone as well instead of group settings.

This exposes him to depression and doubt.

Also similar to jin, for how to lessen this vulnerability we have Bless your heart with talks about reaching out (breaking down that wall) and healing your heart and healing the root issue.

Namjoon

Okay. This is the one that makes so much sense but also confuses me.

So. What makes him most vulnerable is the magician rev and 10 of cups. Unrealized potential and poor planning as well as love, harmony and alignment.

So.... what? How does love and the happiest happiness make him vulnerable?

Well, I think he's suspicious of it. I think that he can't help but wonder in his big big big brain if THIS is the right happy or if its really happiness at all? Almost like commitment issues but also not? It's like, he's afraid that it won't last? He might have trouble fully allowing himself happiness. Also, what makes him the most vulnerable is love. It opens up every bit of his soul and puts it on a laundry line for everyone to see and I don't think he thinks he's worthy enough to be seen like that?

As for how it manifests in his life, 9 of cups, personal fulfillment and a strive to have everything else in hislife sorted out? Essentially wanting to have a perfect foundation so eventually he can share with all the important people in his life.

As for what he can do. Value your self worth. pretty straight up. He needs to value himself more. He deserve love and he deserves to feel seen even if it's uncomfortable at first.

Jimin

Oki. What makes jimin most vulnerable is choice. The 7 of cups talks about focusing on what's best for you and making choices based not on illusion. I think jimin is plagued by unrealistic expectations and confronting the fact that it's not possible is what makes him most vulnerable. He makes choices that are driven by illusion. Usually about self. I think specifically about how he doesn't always see how good he already is so he pushes himself to chase after something that isn't always right for him or even there in the first place. Acknowledging and facing it brings vulnerability that he doesn't always want to face. I think he might equate vulnerability to powerlessness.

How it manifests. 9 of wands rev. Paranoia and being defensive. It's his own fear and insecurities manifesting outside of himself.

As for what he can do, passion and purpose and multifaceted. Focus on what is close to his heart and don't get side tracked. Theres so much more to this situation and there isn't an easy fix. There's a lot of things that need working on in order for him to feel comfortable.

Taehyung

Oki oki oki. What makes Tae most vulnerable is strength rev. Raw emotion. He doesn't always express his emotions and when he chooses to be more open, his emotions go through a bit of a filter. Showing his unfiltered emotions makes him most vulnerable because it's him as he is. In his truest form. It's all of his wants, joys, fears. Everything.

As for how it manifests, 10 of wands and Hanged man, it becomes a burden that he carries because he feels like he can't just be honest. He pauses and allows himself time to feel on his own but that means possibly being misunderstood and a bit isolated.

Now. What can he do to lessen it? Bless your heart and healthy communication in relationships. TALKING TO PEOPLE AND ALLOWING HIMSELF THAT VULNERABILITY. It's not bad to be vulnerable. Heal that shit bb bc you are worth it.

Jungkook

So, what makes him most vulnerable? The world in rev. Not having closure and seeking it. The process of seeking closure for himself about things that could have or putting to rest something that has come full circle. It brings vulnerability because he has to face things that he could have done better. He has to face things coming to a close and be okay with is.

How it manifests, the tower, ace of cups, 5 of cups reversed.

The tower is essentially everything crumbling down. I think jk thinks too much? If you follow a ball of yarn all the way to the end then you just unraveled a whole ass ball of yarn.

Him going to close those things cause him to unravel his foundation.

With the ace of cups, creativity and love/ new emotions, I think him taking the time to pursue personal closure helps him to be more open to love as well as giving him creative fuel.

The 5 of cups rev. Means that him doing this closure thing helps him to forgive himself bc he's taking time to move on and tie up loose ends?

For jk this closure thing manifests in every aspect of his like and I almost see it as him shedding? Sounds weird but he's consciously moving on and paying attention to what he needs?

As for what he can do? Deep emotional healing! He runs the risk of feeling more of the tower manifestation so he needs to keep himself emotionally healthy in order for this to be productive instead of destructive!

~~~~~~~

I hope y'all like this! I feel like the cards didn't always follow what I was kinda going for with my questions but it all works out in the end I guess?

My next reading will be up later this week (I've already done it and taken all of my notes. I just have to type it all out) so look foward to that as well!

#bts tarot #bts readings #bts reactions #bts imagines #seokjin #jin #suga #yoongi #min yoongi #Hoseok #jhope #bts jhope #namjoon #rm #bts rm #bts jimin #jimin #park jimin #taehyung #bts v #jungkook #jk #jeon jungguk #hoseok #bts

[cinnamonest]

I got these and more asks regarding the post from last night so I wanted to elaborate and explain some things, and also make another point about the anniversary thing and clarify for anyone confused. After this I promise I'll shut up about this lol sorry

1) yeah please do NOT come after the VAs for any of this, not even the actual developer side either is at fault. This is largely an issue with the PR and marketing and higher up people. It's really awful that some people are harassing people who have no responsibility here. And thanks to the original asker's reply, I feel like I'm really bad at conveying my thoughts so I tend to overexplain lol, but thanks that means a lot.

2) I have seen people confused on this so if you didn't already, you should know that this isn't just about the anniversary so much as the anniversary was a final straw. While Honkai has similar rewards/exchange for irl money as genshin, mihoyo itself has some of the worst in comparison to other gachas from other developers. Games like Arknights, Granblue, Azur Lane, Dragalia Lost, hell even a cutesy casual gacha app like LoveNikki have much better real money to game currency ratios, huge anniversaries where they give out tons of free shit, and much more generous systems (such as Arknights giving free 10 pulls with a lot of events/new characters/etc). All despite being smaller, less profitable games. There's major glaring issues with the game that have gone unresolved for a long time despite people asking over and over to change it. It's a combination of the rewards, general stuff, and mihoyo's refusal to solve certain issues for a long time that has people upset.

In any industry, any company is going to be held to the standards set by the mainstream industry, which is what is happening here. It is natural to hold a company to it's competitors for comparison and expect them to match standards, especially when the company that is lacking is the richer one and could easily meet the standards if they were willing to.

This is especially true for people who put money into the game. Due to the nature of gachas/online games, companies that produce these games are usually very adamant on rewarding players because whales/P2Ws, people who buy welkin and similar stuff, etc keep the game alive. When they do not match the standard of the industry, those people will feel unappreciated and go elsewhere eventually, which means they will not be able to afford much progress, then even F2Ps won't have content, and the game will burn out.

3) I probably should have clarified this last post but, I know review-bombing does seem like a kinda shitty tactic at first and I get that, but the reason people are doing that now is because mihoyo has completely ignored people complaining for months normally, and even now has started to censor and ban people, deleted critical posts, etc. Basically it's clear that mihoyo will just ban and censor criticism until people do something that actually forces them to listen, hence review bombing. Banning/censoring criticism is a really, really bad move for any company, historically speaking, it's insulting to players who keep the company afloat and results in losses. The review bombing + a lot of people uninstalled the app apparently + people who usually pay refusing to do so anymore, all of that hits them to where they can't afford to ignore it when people do it en masse. Because it will cost them money/players.

What people are kinda really upset about, even more than rewards itself, is just the silence and censorship on their end, which is more frustrating than the lack of rewards itself. I did have some sympathy for them up until they started censoring and deleting criticism on their site. At that point they're doing this to themselves by doing that.

4) Also, notably, this has worked with plenty of other game devs. You may remember the disaster that was Fallout 76. Bethesda also responded poorly at first, but spamming bad reviews and horrible coverage for Fallout 76 got Bethesda's attention, and they went the whole nine yards formally acknowledging the complaints and more or less apologizing to the whole world of players at E3 and even gave refunds, which is a very surprisingly humble thing for a company of their level of fame to do. The situation calmed down because people felt listened to, and while Fallout 76 was kinda a lost cause and didn't get fixed, the idea is that the refunds/open and honest communication restored the consumer base's relationship to Bethesda. That was a big blow, but Bethesda was willing to take that hit to maintain the sense of communication and mutual respect/value between players and devs.

In contrast, with mihoyo, what most people have been trying to beg/bargain for for an anniversary rewards is a free permanent banner 5 star, which would cost mihoyo essentially literally nothing.

So far they have responded by banning people for literal years on hoyolab, deleting posts, banning people from various social platforms etc, for criticism. Even putting whether or not that's ok aside, it's very unusual and not how game companies usually handle these things, and can only end badly for them.

Also mihoyo has had time to fix this -- it's not like Fallout 76 where they released the game and then the backlash came very suddenly and they had to scramble to prepare a response/plan and needed time. People have been complaining about these rewards for well over a week, so they could have easily fixed it by now if they had any intention of listening to people's complaints, especially considering the proposed fix of a single free permanent 5 star would be very simple and quick to implement.

5) also? it's extra unfortunate and really a marketing team issue bc they could have *profited* from giving more, if they opened rewards to new players as most gachas do. Genshin is incredibly popular right now, to the extent that a lot of people in the gaming/weeb sphere who don't play it, but still know of it, and even know a bit about it.

If you were someone who had never played genshin but had been considering downloading it for a long time, but just kept putting it off or forgetting, and heard "hey join now and you get free Diluc/Keqing," that would have convinced a lot of people to go ahead and join, and they would inevitably get sucked into the game and bring mhy profit. So it's a little strange imo that they chose not to do that, it would have been beneficial to them.

6) also, be aware that the glider we're now getting was supposed to be paid originally. Releasing it free now is damage control. It's also, well, a glider. Again, while it is pretty, it's paltry in comparison to the industry norm and does not have much use to most people.

Finally, criticizing all of this/the game/mihoyo does not mean people hate the game. I do see some people lashing out in defense of mihoyo and I get that bc they produce something we all really like. I really really do not want to see genshin become "that one game that was super popular for a year or so and then died" -- that's why people want improvements, because if improvements aren't made, that's where it's headed. What people are asking for right now is stuff that is very easily in mihoyo's capability and would not cost them much of anything. It would be one thing to ask them for something that would cut their profits or take time to develop, but that's not what's happening. People are asking for very little in the scope of their capabilities/the norm.

[jaeheewillalwaysbemyfav]

How would the demon brothers react to an MC who is actually a rich person in the human world? (not necessarily a celebrity or a high profile person but just...has lots of money 😅)

Heads up, I did this one in point-form because I don’t think I could write something super elaborate as most of the brothers wouldn’t have a huge reaction to this: the Devildom seems to operate on a completely different currency system, so human wealth doesn’t ultimately mean all that much to them.

Also, in case it wasn’t obvious, I ain’t rich in the slightest (especially with both my summer jobs being out of the question now RIP), so I don’t actually know shit about what rich people are like! And I’ll warn you now, my opinion of them as a class isn’t favourable to say the least... I’ll try and keep that out of here as much as possible though.

The Brothers and a Rich MC

Lucifer

Tbh, Lucifer’s probably relieved that MC likely has some training in how to behave around high class fancy people bc they’re rich, it means he doesn’t have to watch over them constantly like with his brothers

If they have an ego bc of their wealth though... it’s gonna be Battle of the Prides

gather ye sexual tension while ye may

If they’re a big spender, he’ll also have to worry about having yet another person who doesn’t understand the value of money under his care 

If they’re generous, he will quietly appreciate that and explode if they get him a fancy gift from the human world

Mammon

This is who you asked this scenario for, didn’t you, anon ;)

Obviously he is, at first, Delighted

I have a headcanon that while demons are universally attracted to a “shiny” soul aka a really good person, they also have a special liking for a soul tainted by their associated sin

So if Greed is a vice of MC’s, Mammon’s gonna find it extra hard to refrain from eating them... or perhaps just smooching them (demon instincts are weird like that)

Expect MC to be on the receiving end of a Con of some sort at least once

As he becomes friends with them though, he’ll shift more to asking them questions: how’d they get so rich? What’s it like? How can he do it too?

Brags even harder about his status as MC’s First Man(tm). They’re rich, so they must have good taste, and they chose HIM! The GREAT Mammon! Can’t bully him now, can you?

Yes they can, Mammon, and they will

Leviathan

S o  J e a l o u s

Well, sort of

Levi doesn’t really care about the power or status that comes with wealth, he just wants more fuel for his Weeb Machine

If MC is a collector type, even if it’s not of otaku/nerd based things, Levi will still respect a fellow hoarder connoisseur

He’ll probably whine about it not being fair when comparing their collections though, bc MC’s got tons of money so it’s way easier for them to build up a collection than him

That being said, if MC buys him a rare piece of merch or some fancy gaming equipment, they’ll rock his world

*Cue Levi’s WHOOOOAAAOOOOOOH!*

Satan

On the outside: perfectly normal and calm

On the inside: MC is just like one of the heirs or nobles from his dramas!!! What exciting emotional tragedies must fill their life?

Do they drink red wine on their balcony under the moonlight as they contemplate how no one will ever understand them? Do they have vast libraries full of ancient knowledge they could never hope to read in full?

DO THEY HAVE A SPOILED PET CAT?!

He’s basically lowkey vibrating with exciting and always ready to jump at the chance to impress them in the hopes of one day being privy to their exciting lifestyle and petting their cat he’s certain they have

MC will have to correct his assumptions if this behaviour bugs them

It’s not that Satan is naive to what rich people are like, but human rich people are Exotic and Different and he’s a sucker for learning new things, so he gets ahead of himself a bit

Asmodeus

Sugar baby alert

Okay, not really, but his flirting will lean hard in that direction just for shits and giggles

Asmo probably hangs around a lot of snobby elitist rich people types, so if MC is not like that he’ll be caught off guard and pleasantly surprised

If their wealth comes from something related to fashion, cosmetics, or lewd things, he’ll wanna talk about that with them and see how human world products compare to the Devildom’s

While he’s not opposed to material gifts, he tends to get them a Lot, so they’ve lost their charm: MC would need to get something either really special or really personal to impress him on that front

Now something like a luxury spa trip for two... that will catch his attention

Make sure the place has good soundproofing, MC

Beelzebub

Like Levi, Beel’s interest in MC’s wealth is directly tied to the goods and services money can be exchanged for

In Beel’s case, the food money can be exchanged for

But he’s not gonna bother MC about it

...he won’t turn down any offers they make tho

This type of thing really doesn’t matter to Beel at all, so he’ll still treat MC the same he would if they weren’t rich

If they’ve been missing that from their life, well... Here’s Beel!

Belphegor

...good for you, MC *goes back to sleep*

This man was ready to throw hands with the defacto King of Hell, he doesn’t give a flying fuck about anyone’s status

Although his indifference isn’t nearly as cuddly as Beel’s because he tends to be a little shit to everyone instead of being nice to them

It’s either refreshing or a reality check for MC

Belphie’s polarizing like that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#Anonymous #obey me #obey me:swd #obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor #mine #my writing #headcanons

[lizacstuff]

SCK/Edser ask (33 & 34 spec)

(asks under the cut)

Anonymous said: Do you know what happened with the second set of writers? I know Ayse left on her own accord but why the sudden shift from that second writing team to these new ones? I don't think they even announced that the writers were changing, the fans found out during the credits one day. If that second set of writers was still here, I'd be fully confident that we're going to get a great payoff with Serkan when he remembers but they're not, so my expectations are rock bottom at this point

Such a bummer! No idea what happened to them. I’m wondering if they signed on for a certain number of episodes and when those were done, they moved on? Only being around for 7 or 8 episodes is not a lot though. One wonder if it was them or the production company wasn’t happy with them? Though the episodes were pretty well written so I’d hope the production company didn’t jettison them. Or just a run of the mill scheduling conflict.

In any case I agree, I’d have so much more confidence in their execution of this story if they were still writing. 

With this new team, I honestly thought that episode 32 was decent, but 33 just sort of dashed that away it was so poorly executed. 

Anonymous said: Hi - I always value your thoughts on SCK so thanks for taking the time to reply to asks! :)

Something that’s been plaguing me since the amnesia plot began is that nobody seems to have told Serkan about the BIG DETAIL that his father was responsible for the death of Eda’s parents???! Like surely that would provide some crucial context to Serkan and raise several questions e.g how did I manage to stay in a relationship with this woman, we must have had a strong relationship/overcome huge problems/trusted eachother etc. It just baffles me that everyone seems to have forgotten about what used to be a major plot line. How do you think it could play out if Eda or maybe Aydan revealed that back story to amnesia Serkan?

Thanks, I appreciate the kind words!  Agreed! This is a headscratcher. When he came back I kind of assumed that he knew that part of the history, at least at a superficial level, just because he sat down with Engin and heard the story from his perspective. I can’t imagine Engin would leave that part out, and it’s pretty integral detail in how Eda’s grandmother, and then Eda, ended up with 45% of the company. 

I also would guess that Selin would have told him about it, just because it allows her to paint Eda as potentially someone who was out for revenge from the beginning, someone who targeted him and manipulated him because of it.

So I think he must know, at least something about it about it, what’s frustrating is that it doesn’t seem like something that weighs on him or that he’s curious about. Or perhaps when he first heard about it he compartmentalized it and it didn’t weigh with him because at that time Eda was some evil person out to manipulate him, so he hasn’t paid it much attention, but now that he’s gotten to know her and realizes he has feelings for her, he hasn’t really revisited it? He’s very confused and has a lot going on and he’s thinking about her all the time, while trying not to, so it may have gotten lost in that tug-o-war. 

I do hope it comes up and they have a conversation about it. How has he not already asked her, “If my father was to blame for your parent’s death, why would you want to marry me?” Because regardless whether or not he’s in love with her, this is new information to him.  And he hasn’t dealt with the emotional fallout of finding out his father did that and hid that, and the affect it would have had on Eda.  One would hope that even robot Bolat would feel some compassion toward a woman his father was responsible for orphaning. 

Anonymous said: one of the asks you got about serkan not remembering things via their special "objects" had me thinking about one line he says waaay back during their breakup where he says something along the lines of he "doesn't need things for him to remember her" when he gets rid of her things at his house.. i know the writers aren't writing it with that in mind bc i know even most of the fandom doesn't remember it since it's been so long, but i still think it's quite apt for the situation 🥺

YES! it’s in episode 24, when she is over at his house and she notices that none of the things from their time together are there and she says something like that it’s probably for the best because if they’re here you can’t forget. And that’s when he says:

“In my opinion, things are not needed to remember a person.” 

I agree that it’s quite appropriate for the current situation. It’s not about the things or the objects, it’s about them. 

Anonymous said: i know people feel like we've been going in circles, at to some extent we ARE.. (i mainly think as long as the engagement games keep going it will feel like that) but serkan has made huge progress since he came back in 29.. the serkan in 29 or even 30 would not be reacting like the serkan in 34.. sure he still says things that are frustrating to eda and audience (mainly to rile her up, but also bc he prob doesn't realize it's hurtful) but his progress IS happening even if it doesn't feel like it

Oh, I 100% agree. Serkan has made huge progress, the things he said to Engin this episode would have been unthinkable in any other episode since the amnesia. Serkan going to the flower shop and helping her plant terrariums would also have been unthinkable pre 32. However, I get where the frustration is coming from because he always sort of circles back to a place in his interactions with her where it feels like little to no progress has been made. Though, as I said last week, I do think they show cumulative affect, when they have those big moments where they make progress, he’s further along than he was during the last big moment. But I think him stepping really far back in other interactions is one of the problems of the writing. They need more nuance and they need to let us see more into what’s going on in his brain. 

Anonymous said:  After everything that has happened I cannot see Eda appreciating a kiss from Serkan while he is still engaged to Selin. So maybe her first reaction after the kiss is to ask if he got his memories back and then something about Selin. When it becomes clear that they are still together then I could see her telling him off. Something like “when you’re engaged you aren’t supposed to be kissing other people and if you want to kiss other people then maybe you should not be engaged.” Or even “when we were engaged if I had found out you kissed someone else, it would have killed me” so you need to figure out what you want & stop hurting people. I could care less about Selin being cheated on because she is the worst but Eda deserves way better than that. Plus it would show Serkan that she really is a good person especially since it is very clear how much she dislikes Selin. She gave back the ring after he got engaged to Selin and unlike Selin, is not willing to accept crumbs given to her by anyone let alone Serkan. Maybe that finally results in Serkan dumping Selin by the end of the episode to chase Eda. Probably grasping at straws right now but I so badly want to be positive about this next episode. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes, I could see something like this, but right now, if I had to bet money, I’d say that kiss is his fantasy, so we won’t actually be dealing with this issue. 

We shall see!  

Anonymous said: Will episode 34 finally be when Selin leaves? Surely 6 episodes of her is enough? 😭😭😭

It was spoiled for so long that she’d be leaving in 34, but at this point I don’t see how that would fit! She appears to have been at all the location shoots. 

What do we need to do to get rid of her? Some ancient good riddance ceremony? A gofundme? I’m in!!! Whatever it takes at this point I’ll do any ritual that will get rid of her. 

Anonymous said: I think it's interesting that Ayfer actually hasn't been that anti-Serkan since this amnesia storyline started (maybe its b/c she hasn't had too much time to think about it since she was spending all her time on Alex lol), even though it'd kinda be the perfect time to dig into it since Serkan is now treating Eda differently. But now Ayfer is better than Aydan, Miss "I knew your fiance was alive but didn't tell you." I thought what she told Eda before the restaurant was sweet. She gets 1 point.

Agreed, she gets one point. But just one. We’ll have to see how she does going forward. I kind of assume that she saw Eda’s devastation when Serkan was missing and it sort of snapped her out of her selfishness when it came to her not wanting Eda with Serkan. 

#Sen Çal Kapımı #Edser #Sen Cal kapimi #sckask #sck speculation #sck episode discussion #sck 1x33 #sck 1x34 #asklizac #anonymous

[mydarling-suggestions]

I’ve been seeing someone (not officially dating, this is important) and it’s been pretty serious, like talking about a possible future together, getting married, moving in together, having kids eventually, all that. recently though he’s done some things that have really hurt me, not following through with plans that he promised would happen, acting like it didn’t matter afterwards, and so I had to tell him that something needed to change because I haven’t been feeling loved or valued (1/?)

and idk. he answered and promised we’d find some time to talk about it and work it out, but. he said some other stuff too, like he hasn’t wanted to officially date (at first he said it was a time and money thing) because he doesn’t want to be obliged to do things for me, or he’s not ready for a one-guy-and-one-girl thing (he’s the one who pushed for us to be exclusive in the first place) or what if there’s someone else he ends up liking (we used to argue about me seeing other people) (2/?)

and....... I’m just really hurt and shocked because this isn’t anything I expected from him. I’ve started to not trust what he says anymore, I don’t believe him when he says he loves me. I found out too that our mutual “friends” actually don’t like him and think he’s rude and a player. the things he says don’t match up, I would think that he was using me for something except that he’s not. getting anything right now? and hasn’t been? so there’s no reason for him to play me like that (4/?)

and everything just kinda sucks right now. I know I should end it because we’re obviously not on the same page and I’ve been the only one fighting for us for a little while now and honestly I don’t think he does care about me. I’m trying not to make any decisions before we get a chance to have some time together and talk, I’m trying anything I can to avoid cutting him off bc I don’t want to. idk. I still love him, but I’m not.. IN love with him anymore. it really hurts :/ (?/? lost count)

I’m sorry about all that it’s just been a lot over the last couple weeks and I’m overwhelmed and just needed to vent. I’m sorry if you’re at all uncomfortable with that I understand if you don’t want to post it (?/? lost count)

first of all, do not apologize, this is a part of what we are here for. second of all im sorry thi stook so long to answer. things have happened and this was a big one to digest and build an answer to.

the best thing you can do at this point is confront him head on. doesnt matterr if hes busy, tell him exactly how you feel. heck, retype parts of this that you feel need to be said. he nneeds to know exactly how you feel so maybe he can understand the severity of the situation. it seems like hes just brushing off your feelings and thats not okay at all. and ill be honest with you, sometimes if friends dont like him and have feelings such as those, MOST times, NOT ALL, they can be right. at least in my experience they are.

moral of the story, my genuine advice is confront him, and then trust your instincts on what to do depending on his answer or lack thereof. you both need to benefit in a relationship and if you are not feeling loved or not receiving attention, theres a problem. i wish you the absolute best and good luck!

#mod ky #answered #anon #not a suggestion #but kinda a suggestion

[littlestickers]

🌀Neptune in the houses🌀🏠

💙1H:

(they are indirectly affected by this planet, so the influences are not quite noticeable in them)

-tend to feel deceived about themselves, disillusioned and confused

-don’t really know who they are and need support

-may not have clear objectives in life

-can be great artists because they dream a lot

-make the wrong impression on people, people see them in different ways

-they don’t reveal their strength and are interpreted as subtle, mysterious or alluring

-many are attracted to them, they have a special magnetism and stare

-they try to escape problems by feeling sorry for themselves and acting helpless

-absorb the way people feel and have an imagination that is very strong

-struggling to be grounded

-see life the way they want to

-prone to suffer from alcohol and drug abuse

-very aware of their surroundings

-they can read minds but no one can read theirs

-know when someone is lying but no one can know if they are or not

-victim mentality

-have many dating opportunities or people waiting to get together with them

-need to stop keeping things inside for too long

💢2H:

-money wasted on less useful things

-dream wealth will come to them one day

-impractical, confused and even chaotic when it comes to money

-easy to trick

-can face many financial difficulties

✅3H:

-able to communicate better than others

-in youth years they have a lot of insecurity

-the older they get, the more they will learn to be more productive

-Absent-minded, undisciplined and controlling

-It’s hard for them to absorb factual information so they aren’t interested in academics

-BUT they are the best at learning based on visualization

-always dreaming and having their head in the clouds

-hard to follow a schedule

-absent-minded when someone is giving them directions

-communicate without any efforts and to understand others without asking too many questions

-creative and charming way of communicating

-receptive to everything and everyone around them

-aware of what others are thinking

-great writers and artists

-calm and likable

-attract a lot of sympathy and others always want to help them

-They treat their neighbors and friends as their siblings because they have this need to be like family with everyone

-may use nicknames to identify themselves

-can be talented at astrology

-forget all about their appointments and always be late

-conventional type of education is very boring for them.

-they tend to get lost easier than others

-good at sharing their knowledge with others

-good at expressing what goes through their mind

💢4H:

-need security and have a strong link with their mother and their home

-love being near water and when older

-likely for them to be very lonely and withdrawn from the society

-sensitive, worry, absent-minded or even confused by one of their parents

-home was somehow chaotic

-give everything they have in their heart to the ones they love and expect the same back

-want moments of loneliness because solitude is their only way to renew their energy

-isolate themselves and no longer want to talk to anyone when things get hard for them

-live in a dream world in which everyone around them is perfect

-they see their family and childhood unrealistically

-have strange emotions and dark feelings about their father

-Inner peace, harmony and security are essential to them

- If they had problems in their childhood, they’ll try to hide any memory relating to the places where they grew up, in their subconscious

-they’ll only remember periods of time that made them happy

-one of the parents absent, whether physically or just metaphorically

-They’ll always connect with those who have the same problems as them, especially when it comes to mother and father issues

-Might change homes very often or live in hidden houses

-nurturing and usually forget about their own needs

💙5H:

-ability to put themselves in others’ shoes and to know what their loved ones are feeling

-imagination is very rich and they are very romantic

-express themselves in a dramatic way

-talent with taking care of others

-don't mind offering help

-feel the need to be admired

-have rose-colored glasses

-Attracted by things that are erratic, mysterious and unconventional

-fall for people who need to be saved, are cold, don’t want to commit or have no idea what to do with their life/ life going downhill

-creativity exceeds the normal limits

-great talent with music, painting or other things related to art

-love drama

-can dance very well

-will be very secretive about their children

-may suffer miscarriages or can have many abortions so adoption is very possibly better

-Inspire optimism as they’re always happy and positive

-have unknown ways to bring hope and inspiring people to live life as happily as possible

-have many friends

-falling in love is their favorite thing to do

-quick temper and a big ego

💢6H:

-great desire to help others

-everyday tasks seem very complicated bc they can’t focus on details

-hard for them to organize themselves or be practical

-many will want to take advantage of them

-they don’t mind relying on others

-they may suffer from a mysterious illnesses that can’t be diagnosed or have strange allergies

-feel guilt about not being able to deal with everyday life

-love animals

-hate tidying up so their room is a mess

-may want to escape life and to avoid working as much as possible

-may get sick more often than others

-feel like they don’t have any energy, no matter what they may be doing

-can dedicate themselves completely to serving others

-chaotic, always late and dependent on others to do their job

-prone to getting poisoned so b careful!!!

-mishandling of different chemicals and getting poisoned by mistake

-Big procrastinators

-have problems finishing projects, but they shouldn’t ask others to do their job

💢7H:

-tend to give more than they’re receiving

-any of their lovers would be considered soulmates by them

-feel the need to form a strong connection that relies on intuition and psychic with who they love

-tip: they gotta step back and analyze people for who they really are because they tend to only see the good

-attracted to people how need to be “saved” or are victims who need a “hero”

-end up with individuals who confuse them, are not committed at all or can’t be with them

-they grow to be dependent on their partner

-very good at bringing out the best in others

-unconsciously mirror their own traits in the ones they care the most about in their life

-will suffer a lot in love

-too much fantasy and unrealistic imagination about having a partner

-have a need to find someone perfect

-attract people who have a lot of Neptune or Pisces influence in their chart

-don’t care too much about the everyday life

-want to offer everything they have to the person they love

-can be taken advantage of

-prone to being with abusive characters, alcoholics, criminals, artists or junkies.

-will make excuses for their lover and refuse to see the truth for how their partner is actually like

-great therapists

-driven by their own sense of what’s right & wrong

-most optimistic individuals anyone could ever know

-Knowing comfort isn’t happiness is something they should definitely learn

-they give all of themselves to different causes, and forget who they actually are

-when single they ask friends to make decisions for them

💙8H:

-very spiritual

-can have paranormal experiences

-tend to analyze their dreams

-discriminating when choosing a partner

-very generous with money

-allow their partners to take everything they have (money wise)

-don’t have any limits when it comes to sex

-very capable of dealing with emotional hurt from their past

-may be very dark, and their sexual identity can be very confusing for them bc they don’t know who they are when making love

-disappointed in their sex life

-psychic abilities, great intuition, déjà vu episodes and even prophetic dream occur to them

-very sensitive to all kind of substances, can get drunk from 1 beer

-have a need to please

-can’t handle money themselves

-confusion and twisted realities will be present in their life

-easy to hypnotize

9H:

-very educated and interested in philosophy, traveling or religion

-easy to influence bc they’re curious

-use only their intuition to find out if things are true or not

-don’t get along with distant relatives

-may be good at art

-believe anything can get done and trust the universe more than anything or anyone else

-avoid being practical or to take on responsibilities

-unrealistic plans

10H:

-may be confused and have difficulties finding the perfect job

-behavior completely opposes their personality

-intuitive when it comes to what’s mainstream

-very creative, true visionaries and artistic personalities

-great for them to work with art, in the service of others or taking care of charity events

-might do something they don’t actually love

-responsibility seems like a burden to them

-don’t want to get involved in other people’s lives, no matter what

-may not get credit for their work

-aren’t all the time recognized for their efforts

-don’t know their own value

-don’t want fame

-very successful with design, art and medicine

-want to make the world a better place

-feel unhappy with their professional life

-not good with a job that requires organization and following a strict schedule

-maybe their mother or father hasn’t been there for them or one of them was an alcoholic

-fantasize about having a lover and a perfect career

-goals are usually unattainable

-some find something to do for a living ever since very young

-or feel like they’re not interested in anything, and may end up procrastinating all of their life.

-problem with self-confidence or self-respect

💙11H:

-hopeful, dreamy and friendly

-have strange and unconventional friends

-rebels, dreamers, plan for long-term and rely a lot on their intuition

-don’t mind dealing with other people’s weirdness

-very idealistic, flexible and compassionate

-they should be careful not to be taken advantage of because they are so giving and tolerant

-if they’re not aware of their own dreams and goals they’ll be very unhappy

-often feeling disappointed, especially when their expectations can’t be met

-Sensitive and faithful

-attracted to art and get surrounded by people who are considered unusual

-great interest in everything that’s mystical, out of this world

-talent with music, design or art related things.

-they’ll never know for real what makes them happy BUT

-any form of art can make their soul happy also darker things can be liked by them

-passionate about the supernatural

-they tend to get together with people who are alcoholics or drug addicts

-they may idolize their friends

-liked by the public, no matter where

-they’re probably disappointed in life

12H:

-fears from their past

-focus on what’s wrong with their life

-only absorb the negative

-easygoing attitude and shyness

-many may feel hurt regarding their attitude and not fully understand them

-need to acknowledge their spirituality, if not they’ll stay unhappy and unfulfilled

-faith will always help them

-escape in a world of fantasy and avoid reality

-they’re capable of great spirituality when older

-very sensitive to the society as a whole

-capacity to turn collective ideas into pure art

-very kind and open to different emotions

-have psychic abilities and can guess what other people are thinking or feeling

-can become very famous in the art world

-connected with the Universe

-people love them for being empathic

-want to help everyone

-prone to become addicted to alcohol or drugs

-may seem passive, but can become fierce

-see and hear only what they want

-overwhelmed by the everyday life and just want to hide and to escape reality

[lastneddennye]

What exactly Bitcoin, How Will it be Different Than "Real" Capital and How Can I Get some good?

Last ned den nye Fortnite

Bitcoin is a online currency. It doesn't really exist in the kind of actual form that the foreign money & coin we live used to exist around. It doesn't even be found in a form like physical as Monopoly money. It's electrons - not substances.

Last ned den nye Fortnite

But consider what quantity of money you personally cope with. You get a income that you take to the - or it is actually autodeposited without most people even seeing your paper that it's possibly not printed on. Afterwards you use a debit credit card (or a checkbook, if you're old school) to access those money. At best, the simple truth is 10% of it in a very cash form within your pocket or as part of your pocketbook. So , as it happens that 90% with the funds that you command are virtual -- electrons in a spreadsheet or database.

Nonetheless wait - all those are U. Ersus. funds (or these of whatever region you hail from), safe in the lender and guaranteed from the full faith for the FDIC up to on the subject of $250K per akun, right? Well, not really exactly. Your bank may only forced to keep 10% associated with its deposits with deposit. In some cases, it is really less. It lends the rest of your profit out to people for up to 30 yrs. It charges all of them for the loan, and additionally charges you for ones privilege of allowing them to lend it out there.

How does money acquire created?

Your loan provider gets to create funds by lending this out.

Say anyone deposit $1, 000 with your bank. Then they lend out $900 of it. Suddenly you may have $1000 and other people has $900. Amazingly, there's $1900 boating where before there seems to be only a grand.

At this moment say your loan company instead lends nine hundred of your dollars to another one bank. That traditional bank in turn lends $810 to another bank, which in turn lends $720 to the customer. Poof! $3, 430 in an instant : almost $2500 established out of nothing -- as long as the bank is a follower of your government's key bank rules.

Designing of Bitcoin will be as different from bank funds' creation as capital is from electrons. It is not controlled with a government's central lender, but rather by opinion of its owners and nodes. It isn't created by a limited mint in a building, but instead by distributed offered source software in addition to computing. And it takes a form of actual give benefit to creation. More at that shortly.

Whom invented BitCoin?

The primary BitCoins were inside of a block of 50 (the "Genesis Block") created by Satoshi Nakomoto in January the year just gone. It didn't have any value at the start. It was just a cryptographer's plaything based on some paper published 8 weeks earlier by Nakomoto. Nakotmoto is an it seems fictional name : no one seems to find out who he or she and also they is/are.

Exactly who keeps track of it all?

As the Genesis Block came to be, BitCoins have ever since been generated by way of doing the work of checking all transactions for BitCoins as a form of public ledger. A nodes / pc systems doing the computations on the ledger can be rewarded for to do so. For each set of prosperous calculations, the node is rewarded by having a certain amount of BitCoin ("BTC"), which are subsequently newly generated inside the BitCoin ecosystem. As a result the term, "BitCoin Miner" - because the operation creates new BTC. As the supply of BTC increases, and as the sheer number of transactions increases, art necessary to update anyone ledger gets difficult and more complex. Because of this, the number of new BTC into the system was made to be about 50 BTC (one block) every 10 units, worldwide.

Even though a computing power to get mining BitCoin (and for updating potential fans and patrons ledger) is currently raising exponentially, so may be the complexity of the numbers problem (which, furthermore, also requires a specific amount of guessing), or even "proof" needed to my verizon prepaid phone BitCoin and to make a deal the transactional publications at any presented moment. So the program still only makes one 50 BTC block every 10 minutes, or 2106 blocks every 14 days.

So , in a sense, anyone keeps track of it -- that is, all the nodes in the network observe the history of every one BitCoin.

How much will there be and where will it be?

There is a maximum variety of BitCoin that can possibly be generated, and this number is twenty-one million. According to the Khan Academy, the number can be expected to top out and about around the year 2140.

As of, this morning there was 12. 1 mil BTC in blood flow

Your own BitCoin tend to be kept in a data file (your BitCoin wallet) in your own storage : your computer. The data itself is evidence of the number of BTC you have got, and it can push with you on a portable device.

If which file with the cryptographic key in your billfold gets lost, thus does your flow of BitCoin funds. And you just can't get it spine.

How much is it well worth?

The value varies determined by how much people think that it's worth -- just like in the trading of "real revenue. " But simply because there is no central specialist trying to keep the valuation around a certain grade, it can vary far more dynamically. The first BTC were basically worthy of nothing at the time, nonetheless those BTC survive. As of 11AM concerning December 11, 2013, the public value is $906. 00 YOU per BitCoin. Lake finished writing this particular sentence, it was $900. 00. Around the starting out of 2013, the significance was around $20. 00 US. Upon November 27, 2013 it was valued from more than $1, 000. 00 US for BTC. So it's type volatile at the moment, however , it's expected to subside.

The total value of their BitCoin - at the time of the period at the end with this sentence - approximately 11 billion YOU AND ME dollars.

How can I obtain me some?

Initial, you have to have a BitCoin wallet. This article has got links to get 1.

Then one way is usually to buy some coming from another private get together, like these guys upon Bloomberg TV. One of many ways is to buy a lot of on an exchange, just like Mt. Gox.

Lastly, one way is to attach a lot of computer strength and electricity for the process and become your BitCoin miner. That is definitely well outside the extent of this article. However , if you have a few 1, 000 extra dollars relaxing around, you can get a real challenge rig.

How can I dedicate it?

There are many merchants of all styles that take BitCoin in payment, out of cafes to car dealerships. There's a good BitCoin ATM inside Vancouver, British Columbia for converting a person's BTC to profit Vancouver, BC.

Thus?

Money has had long history - millennia in length. Somewhat recently available legend tells you and me that Manhattan Is was bought designed for wampum - seashells & the like. Inside the early years within the United States, different mortgage lenders printed their own foreign exchange. On a recent trip to Salt Spring Of the islands in British Columbia, I spent up-to-dateness that was only wonderful on the lovely of the islands. The common theme among these was a good trust agreement between its users this that particular currency presented value. Sometimes of which value was linked directly to something good and physical, prefer gold. In 1900 the U. Vertisements. tied its money directly to gold (the "Gold Standard") along with in 1971, concluded that tie.

Right now currency is dealt with like any other thing, although a particular nation's currency value are usually propped up or simply diminished through pursuits of their central loan provider. BitCoin is an various currency that is moreover traded and its price, like that of additional commodities, is determined with trade, but isn't held up or decreased by the action from any bank, but alternatively directly by the routines of its clients. Its supply is bound and known still and (unlike real currency) so will be the history of every singular BitCoin. Its understood value, like all currency, is based on the country's utility and believe in.

As a form of foreign money, BitCoin not simply a new thing in Design, but it certainly is often a new way for capital to be created.

[goddessdoeswitchery]

Pillars of Hellenic Polytheism: Technically, the pillars were never actually a “thing”. Unlike then 10 commandments, the pillars were never taught as a set of rules that everyone knew by the name “Pillars of Hellenic Polytheism”, or any variation thereof. What modern day practitioners of Hellenic Polytheism call “The Pillars” were essentially religious and cultural practices that were taught by family and friends via every day practices. The pillars were an essential part of the culture of Ancient Greece, taught to them the same way customs like tipping, saying “bless you” at sneezing, and the now-common practice of wearing a mask everywhere are taught to us today. In recreating Hellenic Polytheism for the modern age, the Pillars grew out of a need for a set of guidelines to help us recreate a very old religion.

First up, Xenia. Xenia means “Guest Friendship” and is a set of rules for when a guest comes calling on your home. This set of rules applies to both the host and guest. It is one of the most sacred rules in Hellenic Polytheism, and features heavily in several myths, as well as the Illiad and the Odyssey. Often times, the myths show what happens when someone fails to follow the rules, and it is never a good thing. Zeus himself, under one of his epithets Zeus Xenios, is the embodiment of the religious obligation of being hospitable as both host and guest. In general, the host was meant to be hospitable. This included providing the guests with food, drink, gifts, protection, and even safe travel to their next destination. The guests were required to not be a burden or a threat, provide news and tales of where they had been, and to reciprocate if the host ever showed up their place. In the Illiad, violation of Xenia led to the Trojan war when Paris, the guest, kidnapped his host’s, Menelaus, daughter. The Achaens were required to avenge this insult, because violating Xenia was a massive insult to Zeus and his authority as Zeus Xenios. In the Odyssey, when the suitors of Penelope begin to eat her out of house and home, they violated Xenia by being a burden to her. They also violate Xenia by being rude their host and the other guests in the home.

But how does someone practice this in the modern world where travel is almost always safe and news is delivered to our home not by bards and guests but by social media and the internet?

Xenia should be a belief that guides us everyday, because everyday we play host or guest in our community. When a friend needs help moving, when a neighbor has lost their animal, when we visit a friend or relative, when we run into an old acquaintance at the store, when we see someone in need, when we run into strangers on the street; anytime you interact with another person, when you visit someone, when you stay at a hotel or AirBNB, even at the voting booth, anytime you deal with someone or have an influence on your community, you have a chance to practice Xenia. Xenia goes beyond the simple rules of guest and host and informs how we interact with everyone everyday, because it is tied to our community, especially with philanthropy.

Let’s break this down bit by bit so you can see good examples of how exactly Xenia can inform each of these interactions. Some of these examples will be simply examples, and some of them will be reflective of real life situations I or others have faced in the last few months.

A few years back, the home I shared with my mom, my sister, and my children caught fire. We were left with very few personal items, and no place to live. My uncle, who lived several hundred miles away, practiced Xenia by offering to pay for the deposit and move in fees for an apartment complex. The community we lived in practiced good Xenia by donating items we badly needed, such as beds, clothing, toys for the kids, and much needed housewares like microwaves, pots and pans, and silverware. Several members of the community organized a drive to help us replace many of the items we lost and guided us to food banks that helped us with electricity deposits and the first few months’ worth of bills. Every person we interacted with practiced Xenia, even if they had no idea that they were doing so at the time.

About 2 years ago, we found a small dog in front of our local grocery store. There was no collar, no chip, and the poor thing was half-starved and filthy. We took it home, cleaned it, cared for it, and then took actions to return the puppy to her rightful owner. We put up signs, made posts on Facebook, called every animal shelter in 80 miles, and searched lost and found pages, groups, and posts on every social media site we could think of. 3 days later, we found the owners, a newlywed couple who had come home to find the front door of their home open and the puppy they had gotten 2 weeks ago gone. When we took care of the animal and made every effort to find her owner, we put into practice the basic principles of Xenia by playing good hosts to the animal in our care. Xenia does not just inform our actions for people, but is also informs how we should treat every living thing.

Now for an example that includes both good and bad xenia, in it’s purest form of being a guest and a host. Say you are visiting family out of town, and you bring a bottle of wine. The wine is a good gift on your part as a guest, and is an example of good xenia. You don’t overstay your welcome, you go home early because you know your hosts have an early morning the next day, you take care to not cause any mess, and you use your manners flawlessly. Then, 2 weeks later, your host pays a visit to you. They bring their spouse and kids along. They fail to bring any gift, allow their kids to eat all the snacks in your cupboard, drink all of your soda that was supposed to last all week, overstay their welcome by sticking around for dinner even when it is obvious that you didn’t plan on having an extra 5 people over for dinner, don’t clean up after their kids or even watch them, and don’t leave until after 10 pm even though you mention time and again that you have to leave at 6 tomorrow morning for an early start to work. Outside of paying a return visit to you, your guests have been a perfect example of how to violate the rules of Xenia at every turn. And we all have one of those friends or family. The ones who never can take a hint and eventually wind up being unwelcome at your house, or any other simply because they’ve violated the rules of Xenia so often.

When we run into strangers or acquaintances, we can practice good Xenia by simply inquiring after them, if they have the time. Simply saying “Hey, how’s it going?” or “How are you?” can go a long way in being an extension of Xenia outside the home. My job has made Xenia a rule of thumb without knowing even know it, by insisting that we Stand, Smile, and Greet every customer, move around the counter to sit with them at a table when taking an application, and take the time to get to know them. We offer small snacks and candies, bottle of water alongside soda and coffee, and as a result, we practice good xenia as a whole throughout the company.

Xenia also intersects with philanthropy when we see someone in need. Donating to food banks, charities that enforce the rules of xenia like homeless shelters, and even engaging in personal donations to those in need are all good way to practice Xenia on a regular basis and literally put your money where your mouth is as a practitioner of Hellenic Polytheism. Even at the voting booth, we can practice Xenia by ensuring that those we vote for uphold those values by supporting immigrants, providing for the homeless, feeding the hungry, caring for the sick, and assisting those who need it. By ensuring that we vote for those who practice Xenia every day and put it into policy, we can support our community.

Last, but definitely not least, Xenia guides our relationship with our own gods. The gods give to us every day, and we can reciprocate in kind. We can let our altars serve as their home, ensuring it is clean and kept in good repair. We can make sure we have appropriate offerings (this can even include something as simple as clean water, bread, incense smoke, or a dash of olive oil). We can welcome them to our home with prayers and praises. We can remember that when they come to our altars, they are guests in our home and we must, above all, treat them as such.

In short, Xenia is a practice, a Pillar that informs our every day life. Some extensions of Xenia are called “good manners”, some of them are called “being a good neighbor”, and some are called “being a good citizen”. We all have practiced and expected Xenia as a part of our lives at some point or another. As I mentioned in the beginning of this podcast, Xenia, as a part of the pillars, is not a simple commandment. It is a way of life, expected of us at every turn. It is a pillar, not just of Hellenic Polytheism, but of our lives.

For references, I relied heavily on the Illiad and the Odyssey, both of which I own. I also pulled from Wikipedia, the Xenia comic by Greek Myth Comix, Hellenic Polytheism by Chris Aldridge, Hellenic Polytheism: Household Worship, and Mythology of the Greeks: Legends Anterior to and Contemporary with the Trojan War to 1183 BC to the First Olympiad, 776 BC by George Grote.

Thanks for listening to this episode of “Hellenic Polytheism 101”, a short lecture on Xenia as a Pillar of Hellenic Polytheism. For a transcript of this podcast, you can visit goddesssdoeswitchery.tumblr.com, and look for the tag “Hellenic Polytheism 101 transcripts”. There you will find a link to the references, including an amazon link to the books I referenced, outside of the one by George Grote, as it is 164 years old. You can also ask me any questions there. Don’t forget to tune in for the next episode, coming August 23rd, about Kharis.

#hellenic polytheism 101 #hellenic polytheism #podcast #transcript #xenia #pillars of hellenic polythiesm

[rosmarinys]

breathe in, breathe out, let the human in

read on ao3 / dedicated to @ashpanesars bc ellie wrote a dotty fic and it is EXCELLENT pls read it

Dotty values grief the same way she values anything else, taken with a bitter smile and a sharp comment. (This is a lie.)

Dotty hates her father and never spares him a sentimental thought. (This is a lie.)

Dotty grieves her father the same way she grieves for herself, a hole in her chest filled with lost opportunities and dead love. (This is true.)

//

Dotty curls up in her bed (It’s not her bed, not really. Sonia told her that Nick used to sleep in here and now she lies awake at night wondering if she’s lying in the exact position he used to lay in, if he was just a man in those little hours of the night or if he schemed even then, more monster than ever. She runs through her concealer trying to cover up the dark shadows under her eyes these days.) and imagines other versions of herself.

One version of herself grew up in this house with Nick and Dot but Nick was kind and Dot loved them both dearly and they had tea everyday together and laughed and all the walls had Dot’s old wallpaper on it and it was nice. (Nick’s face is blurry in these fantasies, like a phantom, a ghost of someone who never existed. Dotty doesn’t linger on these dreams too much, she’s not one for dreaming of impossibilities.)

Another version of her is one where everything happens the way it did – Nick, pills, Dot, Wales – but Dotty comes back different. Dotty comes back with soft smiles and flowery dresses and apologies and everyone loves her, and she gives her own love out freely. (Platitudes have always tasted like falsities on her tongue; this fantasy isn’t her, it’s another phantom, one of a girl who died the moment she met her father.)

Most nights she just turns over and tries to sleep. No time to dream about things that will never happen.

//

Bex is nice in a way she doesn’t expect. Dotty expects judgemental looks and self-righteous frowns, for Bex to think she’s a better person and to let Dotty know whenever she could. But Bex is just tired, the bags under her eyes are bigger than Dotty’s and she smiles at Dotty, soft, like she’s actually her friend. (She is, Dotty thinks, she is. Nick’s voice is especially sharp whenever someone is kind and it feels like twisting a limb whenever she ignores him.)

They both stay up late some nights, hunched over cooling cups of tea with the only light being a few candles they found beneath the sink, Dot’s probably, and Bex tells her all sorts of things. Usually what drama had gone on while she was in Wales – Did you really not know that Callum was engaged to Whitney? – but sometimes it’s quiet confessions with dramatic shadows waving across their faces – Sometimes I just feel…empty, y’know?

There are never any confessions from Dotty, though she does consider it. She imagines opening her mouth, feel the words press against her teeth – There are times where I’m not sure if it was all Nick or I was responsible for everything I did, I’m not sure if I can be good because my blood is bad, it’s sour in my veins, I hear Nick’s voice in my head sometimes and it shouldn’t be so hard to ignore him but it is, does that mean I am a bad person, am I a bad person, am I - ?

Instead she swallows them down with cold tea and smiles at Bex, all teeth, and asks if she wants another cup.

(And now Sonia’s stolen money from Dot and Bex is gone, moved out and Dotty sits up, alone, with an empty mug and whispers her secrets into it, just for her and the candles)

//

Walford is different now but she’s not sure what she expected. Everything still looks the same on the surface but then the bustle starts, and the people come out, most of them on school runs, the chatter loud and insistent, and Dotty doesn’t recognises most of them.

In some ways it’s comforting, the feeling must be a two-way street, and so these people must look at her and think she’s just Dot’s granddaughter, easy on the eyes with a penchant for mesh tops and boots. (Other times it makes her want to scream, scream that she’s awful and evil and she tried to kill Dot and she tried to kill Nick and her blood is festering beneath her skin, look, look at the rot, look at the filth. But – but, most of the time, she’s just grateful)

The ones who do know make her spine stiffen, ready for a barbed comment about her father, the name Nick Cotton thrown like a bomb with shrapnel that digs into her flesh. They think she’s just as bad, she can tell. They’re waiting for someone to turn up dead so they can nod their heads, self-satisfied, all I knew it, I told you, didn’t I? Bad to the bone, just like her father. (Dotty usually jumps in before them, poison dripping from her tongue, she can’t feel their barbs if she cuts them first, right?)

So, yes. Walford is different. But nothing’s changed, not really. Affairs, mysterious disappearances and Dotty, taller with boobs now but still Nick Cotton’s daughter.

//

Bobby is sweet in a way she thinks she could have been. He looks haunted at times and when he doesn’t, his face is soft and childlike, big eyes peering at Dotty as though he is wondering who she is. He must like what he sees because he smiles at her a lot, no teeth, and when he speaks to her, his voice is quiet, his face soft with a blush.

He invites her around for dinner sometimes and she never goes but he doesn’t seem to hold it against her, just blinks and invites her around again. One time, she feels bad enough that she stands outside his back door for an hour, frozen, listening to the sound of his family eating and laughing together. There’s an ache in her chest, a cavern that wants to be filled but her father’s voice tells her to cut it bigger, to let it engulf her until she’s a blackhole, a whirlpool that destroys everything in her path.

Bobby opens the door just as she’s about to leave, face wide with surprise, a bag filled with rubbish clutched in his hand. She opens her mouth to – what? Apologise? She’s not sure if she can, and feels bile rise in her throat – but Bobby just shuts the door behind him and steps around her, shoves the bag in the bin – fails for a second, there’s so much rubbish piled into it, and he smiles at her sheepishly, like they’re friends, like they’ve never not been friends – and then sits on his backstep and looks up at her, face illuminated by the moonlight.

(She sits next to him and she doesn’t say anything, acid is at the back of her tongue and she doesn’t want to be mean to Bobby, so many people are and she, selfishly, wants to be someone he likes, someone he turns to when others cruel and he needs someone to be kind. Kindness isn’t exactly Dotty’s forte but she can do this, she can sit and listen to him murmur about things that don’t really matter – how his dinner was, what Ian has done to annoy everyone this week, a joke Habiba told him yesterday – and when he reaches over and wraps his fingers around her wrist and presses to feel her pulse thrum, she doesn’t flinch away so he can smile.)

Bobby looks at her like he gets what it feels like to be less person and more story and so she sits on his backstep and bares her teeth when people stare too long at him. (It feels nice, looking out for someone, makes her feel big, like someone to be proud of. And Bobby and Bex both grin at her when she visits so she must be doing something right.)

//

Dot is how she remembers her – sharp-tongued and kind in the way that only hard-assed old women can be – but now she’s frailer, her fingers are all sharp now and she seems tired in a way that someone is when they’ve lived a hard life for so long. (Dotty wonders if there’s a pattern in the people she surrounds herself with, if she’s drawn to those with extra weight attached to their limbs.)

She calls her Kirsty sometimes and it feels like a wall between them. Dotty knows it’s her name, her real name not a scheme, but when Dot says it, it feels like an acknowledge of the history between them, of the ghost of a man who stands in the corner of every room she’s in. But mostly Dot calls her Dotty and it makes them both smile and Dotty hands her a cup of tea and there’s no hesitation when she takes a sip and it makes her heart warm.

Dot is starting to forget things, though. Small things like where she left her purse and what day of the week it is, and Dotty feels every thing forgotten like a needle in her side, tiny pricks that bring her back to reality, a reality in which Dot is old and frail and not the Gran who once threw her over her lap and smacked her bum.

Dotty looks at her grandmother and wants to apologise for everything Nick did, for the lies she told when she was younger, for all the trouble they both caused. She says none of it, but Dot seems to know anyway, and presses a kiss to her forehead when she says goodnight, her lips cool and Dotty thinks the crick she gets in her neck is worth it.

//

There are so many things that Dotty won’t say, because she’s not sure how much of it is true and how much of it is what she just feels like she should be feeling.

Some things are better kept quiet because they’re too awful to be heard. (Like how Dotty hates her father for killing any version of them both that could’ve been nice and soft, but she also misses him like a limb at times. He was the monster who used to hide under her bed but now hides inside her head and gives her sleepless nights, but she used to hold his hand and it was just a firm grip with worn callouses. How evil could he have been? She had held his hand.)

She pricked her finger the other day and looked at how red the blood was. Am I a bad person? She’d asked. The blood hadn’t answered but it had stained the carpet. That was answer enough she supposed and felt Nick Cotton smile as she thinks about how Sonia had stolen money, and how much better Dotty could have done it.

#dotty cotton #eastenders #my writing #EastEnders fic #bex fowler #bobby beale #nick cotton #dot cotton #bex x dotty #dotty x bobby #hate that yall don't do 'and' for non-romantic relationships nasty #what is this fic help

[bellarnyblakc]

Chapters: 1/3 Fandom: The Folk of the Air - Holly Black Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jude Duarte/Cardan Greenbriar Characters: Jude Duarte, Cardan Greenbriar, Taryn Duarte, Locke (The Folk of the Air), The Bomb (The Folk of the Air), The Roach (The Folk of the Air) Additional Tags: Eventual Smut, This Whole Thing is due to One Scene I Wanted to Write, Don't Examine This Too Closely, the plot is background noise to set up a few specific scenes so just allow it fam, wish fulfillment bc who knows if QoN is gonna be kind to these dumb kids, no editing we die like men Summary:

“What happens now, then?” His voice was weary and thin.

“Why did you summon me? After all this time, why now?” she demanded.

“I need your help.”

“Yes, you said that in your damn letter. Maybe you shouldn't have sent me away in the first place! What’s going on?” she snapped.

-------------------------------------

It had taken her far longer than she liked to admit to figure out the trick woven into her banishment.

Maybe if she hadn’t been so blinded by fury and betrayal and the all-encompassing feeling of heartbreak, she would have remembered that the Fae should never be taken at face value. That, though they cannot lie, every word of theirs is a trick wrapped in a deception posing as the truth.

There was an unfamiliar ache in her chest that never let her forget how her walls had unknowingly been broken down bit by bit until only rubble lay in its place.

Sometimes, when she looked in the mirror, she could not stand the sight of the girl she had become. The girl who let feelings override her better judgement, who let herself be fooled into thinking that the boy who had only ever sworn his revenge and her destruction would deign to offer her wildest dreams on a silver platter. The teary-eyed fool who, despite her burning anger and hatred, in her weakest moments in the dead of night still missed his arms and lips and soft caresses and the way his eyes softened just for her.

So, yes. Maybe if she hadn’t been wallowing in her hurt feelings and bruised heart, she would have figured out the loophole sooner.

She had tested her theory, months ago, gingerly stepping one foot and then another over the border into Faerie. Nothing had happened, except a bird fleeing from a tree, squawking madly, startling her more than it should have.

She had breathed in the air, suddenly completely free of pollution and grime as if there was an invisible barrier between this world and the real one; like the junction of the river meeting the sea. It astonished her that it had actually worked, she knew Cardan wouldn’t have been so careless in his phrasing so he must have had an ulterior motive for allowing her return.

It troubled her that she couldn’t figure out why. That, in her absence, Cardan had learnt to weave schemes of his own and play the intricate game of politics so well that she no longer had the capacity to outmanoeuvre him.

She refused to let herself play into his hands so easily without a strategy of her own, so she didn’t linger, returning to Vivi’s house. Her planning should have started immediately, but instead when she got back in, she sat against the door of her unlit room feeling numb and hollow, relishing the dig of the doorframe into her spine. It hurt worse than being banished to know that she had lost something so fundamental to her existence; something she had prided herself on for years; something she relied upon to keep herself alive. After months of fast food and daytime TV and her mind-numbing part time job at the café, she had lost her ability to manipulate, scheme and strategise. The art of intrigue and conspiracy was beyond her reach now. The hours and hours of letting out her anger on a punching bag the gym only served to keep her body in shape, not her conniving mind as sharp as it once was.

It was moments like these, where she felt aged beyond her seventeen years where she missed the girl she could have been had she stayed in the mortal realm. The girl for whom a boy and a broken heart would have been the most important, tragic events in her life.

Tomorrow, she told herself sliding down with a sigh so that she was lying on the floor, lacking the effort to drag herself to her small, lumpy single bed who's sheets were well past needing to be changed. I’ll plan tomorrow, repeating it every day until before she knew it, weeks had passed in a haze of self-pity.

--

“Jude?” Viv’s voice filtered through the door, eliciting a muffled groan from where Jude’s head was burrowed into her pillow where she had flung herself after a gruelling eleven-hour shift. “You have a, um-“ Viv paused “a letter.”

Jude sat up curiously. She had never received a letter in her life. Not even boring bank statements or bills, since her dodgy boss paid her cash-in-hand. (She was becoming more and more convinced that the café was a drug front or a money laundering scheme.)

Her door opened and Viv frisbeed the letter over to her. The creamy paper was thick and rough, sealed with green wax. The loopy, spidery handwriting on the front was all too familiar to her, and she had the urge to destroy the letter, tear it up and eat it before bothering to read it. Almost unwillingly, she dug a finger under the seal so she could unfold the letter.

Darling,

Come back. I need you.

Expect an escort at midnight by the pier.

Yours, C.

She let out an incredulous huff.  A hurricane of unidentifiable feelings flared. How dare he command her, without so much as a 'please'? After he had banished her without a second thought, he now expected her to run back to his heel when it was convenient? She thought of that last, private smile he sent her after he proclaimed the punishment. The smile of someone for whom all the pieces were falling into place.

She scratched a fingernail over the first word, glaring as if he would feel it through the paper. The incorrigible cheek of him to address her that way after he had denied her in front of his whole court.

The bed dipped as Vivienne sat down, shoving Jude's legs into the peeling wall to make space as she did so

“Well?” she demanded, blunt as ever.

“He wants me to come back.” Vivienne snatched the letter out of her hands and scanned it in disbelief.

“Well,” she repeated, this time at a loss for words. There was a silence, and Jude idly played with the tassel of a decorative pillow. “What are you going to do? Does this mean he’s pardoned you?”

“It doesn’t matter if he’s pardoned me or not, I’ve already pardoned myself.” Viv eyed her sceptically. “I am the crown, right? We’re married.” She dug a nail into her palm, regretting every decision she had made that night. “Until the crown has passed from our hands.” she quoted.

“And you figured this out when?” the indignation of not being informed of her discovery sooner was evident on Vivienne’s face. She whacked Jude’s arm, and then again for good measure. “When were you going to tell me?”

“Ow!” Jude scooted away and glared. “It was a few weeks ago. I didn’t tell you because it didn’t matter! I’m not going back on his terms.”

“But, something's wrong in Elfhame,” Vivi's voice was low and uncertain, like she was tending to a wounded feral animal who would startle at the slightest noise.

“What? How do you know?” Jude grabbed the letter back and turned it over, as if there was writing on the back that she had missed. Vivienne snorted.

“It’s obvious. As if Cardan would ever call someone ‘darling’. He didn't want to address you by name and he didn't sign off with his. He’s being as vague and secretive as possible. He’s worried it will be intercepted.” Jude’s mouth twisted into a sneer, even as she felt a stab of disappointment that his endearment wasn’t sincere, regardless of how patronising it was.

“Good. I hope something is so wrong he doesn’t have time to sleep or eat.”

“So you’re not going to help?”

“If he wanted my help, he shouldn’t have sent me away!” her voice was petulant, like Oak’s when he wanted dessert before dinner.

“What if he gets hurt, or killed? Could you live with yourself knowing you hadn't even tried to help?” The patient tone of Vivienne's voice vexed her. She didn't like being talked down to.

“Yes. In fact, I’d throw a party if it happens.” Her voice was peevish, but they both knew it wasn’t the truth. “Leave me alone, Viv.” She burrowed into the pile of pillows once more, head spinning.

She hated Cardan. If he died it would be the least he deserved. She would just regret that she wouldn't be there to see it. Even as he forced herself to think this, she knew deep down that she would be unable to ignore it. She had to just see what was happening. She was going to go back. She just needed to know. Jude had never been one for keeping herself in the dark.

But she would never give Cardan the satisfaction of following his orders. If she was going back, it wouldn’t be the way he wanted her to. When the escort arrived at midnight, they would be waiting for her for a very long time.

She left hours later, after stuffing a bag full of everything in sight that could potentially be of any use.

“How are you going back if you’re not using a horse?” Asked Oak in confusion when she explained that she wasn’t going to wait for her ride as she strapped a holster to her thigh.

“I’m walking.” Her voice was grim. She sheathed a newly sharpened knife. Viv raised one fluffy eyebrow.

“Have fun,” she said archly. Jude nodded and stepped out the door. “And Jude!” she turned back to face Vivienne, “Take care of yourself, won’t you.” Jude sent her a small smile and waved at Oak, who blew a kiss and turned back to his homework, blissfully unaware of the gravity of the situation.

She set off, feeling the heavy outline of the letter in the breast pocket of her jacket.

A summons! She had been summoned and she was doing as she was told, like a loyal puppy. She hated Cardan for putting her in this situation in the first place.

It took her the evening and the better part of the night to arrive. Her anger and indignation fuelled her until the palace came into view and she was suddenly plagued with doubts. Coming back to Faerie was what Cardan wanted. Frustration welled up inside her as, for the first time in years, not only was she several moves behind, but she wasn’t even sure what game they were playing. The last thing she wanted to do was play into his hands. She had come running back without the barest hint of a plan.

That was how she found herself back in her old quarters having snuck into the palace through an old hidden passage, rifling through her old things for inspiration. Her room wasn’t dusty and untouched like she had been expecting. Instead, the sheets were rumpled and slept in; clothes that looked distinctly like Cardan’s lay strewn over the desk and a little pot of glittering silver paint lay open on the dresser.

“You’re rusty,” came a soft, amused voice from behind her. Immediately, she unsheathed her knife from her thigh and whipped round, digging the blade into the figure’s exposed throat. A flare of irritation surged as she couldn't deny the truth of his words. He had been able to sneak up on her without her being any the wiser.

Cardan smiled in the milky blue dawn light, seemingly unsurprised at the blade to his throat. He looked overtired and drained, the smudged gold around his eyes doing little to conceal the purple beneath his eyes. Despite his exhaustion, Jude couldn't deny that he still looked good. She hated it. She hated that he could still have this effect on her.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill you right here.” She growled.

“Now where would be the fun in that?”

“You banished me from my home. You tricked me and sent me away like I was nothing but another piece in your games. And then you commanded I return.” She dug the knife in deeper, a sharp stab of malicious delight at the sight of blood. She wanted to dig the knife in deeper until she severed his artery and watch him bleed out on the floor. She wanted to drop the knife and pin him to the wall and lick the droplets of blood from his neck.

His smile became brittle at the edges. “I didn’t have a choice. There wasn’t any other way.” His hand reached out tentatively, fingers winding around her wrist so he could feel the angry beat of her pulse, lowering the blade slowly. “You killed my brother. If I had shown weakness, if I had allowed that offence to slide, the court would have turned against me. I couldn’t let my…” he trailed off and swallowed thickly, “personal feelings get in the way.” There was a brief pause, “Jude,” he breathed. “You know it was the only choice, you’re better at politics, a smarter strategist than me.”

The compliment only served to incense her. “Don’t condescend to me, Cardan,” she snapped. “You’re not telling the whole truth, are you? Of all the penalties you could have come up with, the only choice was to send me away?” she scoffed. “You wanted to punish me, didn’t you?”

He’d lowered her hand so the tip of the knife was hovering dangerously close to his liver. She pressed it into the soft velvet of his doublet. He shivered involuntarily, pupils blown wide.

“I should gut you right here. I just want the truth. Why send me away? Why leave me the opportunity to come back? Why send for me all of a sudden?” She stepped closer to him, so their bodies were flush. She could feel the heat of him, the rapid rise and fall of his chest as he breathed faster than normal, whether due to arousal or fear, she could not tell.

His hand wrapped around her waist, to push her away, or pull her closer, he wasn’t sure. “Fine,” he confessed in a whisper, “Yes, I was angry and I wanted to hurt you, but it wasn't... You killed my brother and you kept it from me, Jude-“

“He was terrible to you!”

“And you would be completely free of remorse were something to happen to Madoc?” he asked smoothly. “He was my tormentor, but he was also my brother.”

She hesitated, examining the burning embers of hatred towards her step-father. And yet, she had loved him in a fashion, craved his admiration and respect, even after watching him murder her parents. She knew enough about complicated family relationships to see where Cardan’s pain had come from.

She deflated, grip loosening on the knife so it clattered to the ground, suddenly more unsure of herself than she had been for a long time. Her head hurt. She was tired of these games, of second guessing herself and everyone around her, of having to be on her guard at all times, even around Cardan. Especially around Cardan. He slowly sank to his knees and picked the blade up, then looked at her with his dark eyes.

“But that’s still not the whole truth,” he admitted softly. A hand cupped the back of her knee, rubbing softly. “I wanted to keep you safe. I'd rather you be angry than dead. You were already so weak after Orlagh took you and it was so dangerous here-“

Jude’s heart hardened once again. “However did you get the impression that I needed, or wanted your protection?” she spat. “I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. God knows I’ve had more than enough practice after being tormented by you for my whole life.” Her words were a perfectly aimed arrow, and they landed precisely where she intended for them to cause the most hurt.

He stilled, and dropped his gaze. There was nothing he could say to that, they both knew.

Jude stepped away and surveyed the clearly inhabited room once more.

“Who’s your new Seneschal?” she asked .

“What makes you think I have one?” he rose and took several steps until he was leaning against the carved wooden bedpost.

“Who’s using my rooms then?” she said archly. Cardan darted his eyes to the pot of paint and shrugged. They stood in awkward silence for several moments.

“My rider returned empty hours ago. Did you walk? All the way from the mortal realm?" When she replied with nothing but a stony glare, his lips curved into a half-smile. "Why do you always insist on making things so difficult, you impossible girl."

"You don't get to act like I'm being melodramatic for refusing to take orders from you!" she shoved him in the chest unexpectedly and he tumbled onto the bed with a whoosh of air. He merely smiled indulgently and stretched out on the bed, cat-like, making himself comfortable. She sneered at him in disgust, frustrated that he appeared so collected and calm. She wanted to unhinge him, unravel him. Idly, she wondered how fast she could make him lose control if she pinned him down and kissed him. Or if she took her blade to his chest.

Why did you take so long to come back?” he asked tentatively, oblivious to her violent, lustful thoughts. “I know you figured it out weeks ago.” She scowled at him.

“You’ve had spies on me?” she asked indignantly.

“No, I felt you. In my kingdom.”

“Maybe I decided that I’m happier in the mortal world. Maybe I have a life now and I don’t care about-“ she stopped short as she realised she was going to say ‘you’. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of reaffirming those feelings, especially since she was now so unsure of them herself, “this place anymore.” She improvised.

“What happens now, then?” His voice was weary and thin.

“Why did you summon me? After all this time, why now?” she demanded.

“I need your help.”

“Yes, you said that in your damn letter. Maybe you shouldn't have sent me away in the first place! What’s going on?” she snapped. He rose to his elbows, expression serious and worn.

“Madoc’s made his move, and now I’m going to make mine. We’ve been laying low and waiting him out, but I’ve had spies on Taryn since the beginning. We can take him down from the inside, but only if you play along. Jude, you’re my secret weapon.”

#jude x cardan #folk of the air #cardan x jude #jurdan #jurdan fanfiction #*