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#no more talking about dnf on this blog
cantofworms · 1 year
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#ok ik all the hot take asks are pre much done and the sparkly say smth nice asks are better but well I’ve been having thoughts all day at#work and want to get them out now so that’s what I’m doing lol#obvs for the past few months i think ppl are vv heavily leaning into the dnf /r and I firmly believe that they aren’t#like yes I enjoy being a multi shipper but I still primarily read dnf fics bc they’re cute dnf writers and artists MWAHH ilysm#but it’s been increasingly annoying how every move dnf make ppl hyper obsess over it and ignore everything else like blog what u want this#is tumblr dot com but I think ppl how only see dnf thro the lens of romantic do much more ‘harm’ than ppl who dont#like the argument about taking validation out of their very REAL amazing friendship just gets over shadowed by omg Dream posted a pic of#geogre they’re in LOVE and sucking and FUCKING every night. like#and then completely disregard when dnf do and say the exact same shit about all their other friends#like dream has explicitly said they aren’t dating (ignore that tho) amd that’s he’s kissed multiple ppl since coming out (ignore that too)#and their friends naturally say that they’re all single (ignore that too) idk man it’s ok they like to pander amd that dream is a toxic#dnfer but it’s all just For Funsies. another thing is ppl CONSTANTLYYYY putting geohres sexuality under a microscope oh he drinks lemonade#from Starbucks he’s soooo gay like dumb shit like that is so irritating#the fact that geogre has never once talked about his sexuality except that one instance where he got a DONO about it proves how much it#just doesn’t matter or apply to the type of content creator he is/wants to be#to be clear if he is or isn’t or dnf every explicitly announce their romantic relationship im gonna be sooooo happy and supportive like aw#dnfogies🫶🏻 but I think there’s a 99.9% chanve that’ll never happen so maybe we should all just care a Little Less and focus on out lgbt#creators if that’s smth u wanna watch/blog about idk maybe I’m just burnt out from the phandom but whyyyyy does is matter what their#sexualities are they play minecraft who cares who CARESSSS idk maybe just having older brothers around dtqk ages has made me realize that#guys will just act homiesexual no matter What#guys are just Like That and tbc I’m not saying that just bc gnf hasn’t made an official coming out doesn’t mean he’s not queer but for the#sake of his contwnt it doesn’t matter either way ? so why are ppl talking about it on the daily idk man it’s just annoying but Oh Well#at the end of the day they’re all famous white guys and nothing matters hurray !!
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demonstars · 7 months
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like whats actually edating
#mind obviously went back to dnf like my mind always finds it here i'm in the dnf blog if i wanted to make another post i'd probably not be#doing it here Um anyway LIKE what is an internet relationship. the existance of a diferent medium means that what we understand by dating#is completely lost theres just not whatever courting or predating medium that kind of exist for people when they date? it obviously cant#develop naturally because the situation isnt natural but nature is dictated by what we're living#and dream more than george is peak new generation of chrnonically online tens#who have a difficult time adapting to social etiquete and well he also is unluckiest man alive but we're not talking about that. When we ar#forced to reinterpret what it means to be dating someone like the weird shift to not-friends we Theorize dnf Maybe coudl've had#makes total sense because its just not a common situation in the slightless. having a mayor key point of your life (figuring out youre#actually queer) be the talk of the month by a thousan people that Know making a joke at your expense will bring them attention is fucking#traumatizing#and that shit is just normalized by the context in which it is enacted????? AND WE JUST LET IT?????????AND NOBODY PAUSES AND THINKS WOW THI#IS KINDA FUCKED UP???????'#Dating is both a normative concept and a experience: we know what dating entailsbut we never actually#know how someoene else experiences it because theyre simply not us and thus we just dont know lol . anyway i lost the thread#dnf weirdest edaters ever i'll defend you forever
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tylleet · 2 months
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I don’t need the personalities in ur fic to be consistent with the source material but I do need chapter 2 & 17 to feel like the same character
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itspyon · 4 months
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how to adapt into dtblr culture for twitter refugees
so you've decided to move here from twitter. welcome and congratulations. this post is basically a big warning that goes THIS ISN'T TWITTER, DON'T BEHAVE LIKE IT IS, LEAVE THAT AT THE DOOR
i'll be teaching you two things, how the site works, and how to adapt your behavior to tumblr ( and really, normal human being ) culture. believe me, it's not that hard and it will actually feel very productive
let's start with the basics and frequent questions
your username can be anything, don't stress about it
your picture can be anything. a lot of us don't even have dteam related stuff up on our profile
your display name doesn't have to be your name. nobody is going to see it when you post, only usernames are visible
check your settings. do it. get familiar with them. turning on and off asks, turning anon off, turning submissions off. click on your blog, go to blog settings, check things there, go to account, your muted things will be there, go to dashboard and customize that. use your settings !!!
yes, pinned posts are fairly important and they tend to be pretty extensive. name age what you post about ( a lot of people here are multifandom !), just don't overshare ( no locations no trigger lists i beg you ). they also usually have a breakdown of your tags at the end
tags
it's a whole thing. some are actually useful. some are just passive commentary
the tags you put on posts ( both when you made the post and when you're reblogging something ) are both global and hosted on your profile. it's why you'll see things like "nameofperson art" rather than just "art". using just "art" will put you in the promoted tag, in this case
you can use spaces on your tags
usually you will tag what type of post you're making ( art, text post, ask post ), and then the contents keep in mind this is how people often mute things, some people tag the current situation, people use and mute ship tags. but this is also how people find things, like the specific asks from one person to another, so "username ask" is commonly used, "irl person ( dream, dnf, etc )" is also seen a lot just watch how others tag things and copy them. nobody will get offended you took their tag formatting, most of us will appreciate properly tagged posts
you do tag when you reblog people. you use tags to comment on things. don't really use replies unless you're, saying thank you to someone or pointing out a spell mistake or asking to add an option to a poll, etc. we don't do replies, just rb your reply
quick reblog and like deets
post popularity is measured in "notes" which is the sum of replies, reblogs and likes. we don't really care much about numbers here and if you start getting crazy about it people will not like it. this is more of a talking and showing site
you can reblog without tags, feel free to
you can hide your likes. you can and should like as many things as you want. they don't alter any algorithm, since there's none. a like is a "i saw this post" notification to the poster
actually posting
people talk a lot. a fucking lot, and it's something you will have to get used to, because it's very different from twitter
there are no qrts. callouts are looked down upon. breathe. if you don't like something MUTE IT DON'T POST ABOUT IT, because no one is going to listen to any callouts. you will have to learn to live with the fact people like things you don't. this will, with time, make you feel very free
the bulk of posting here is asks, as you might notice soon. asks are fun and encouraged. just don't name drop if you're talking about drama please ?
don't be scared to send asks off anon, this is how people will find you and get to know you really. people are also more likely to reply to you
block bait anons. yes you can block anons. yes it will block every blog they make
culture time
i've said this. tumblr is unserious. drama here is approached very differently and with several less layers of panic. you will see death threats. you will see slurs ( said in non derogatory ways ). you will see jokes about serious topics. you will see people say "i didn't like this" and nobody will care
tumblr is a community of individualism. you will like your own things within the thing we share we like. you might not like dream's music, you might not find irl streams entertaining, as long as you're fucking normal about it ? nobody will care and you're free to express your opinions. people will even come ask you about it and just have a chat. we're here for the same content to some degree
tumblr is also a bunch of people who understand they like another bunch of people. that none of the streamers have stopped being human. so you might see people defend things that, maybe, you'd not have thought to defend before. maybe you're even uncomfortable seeing them defending it. this is something you will experience a lot, and you'll learn to properly deal with it as time passes
because again. no one does callouts here unless it is extremely bad. no one cares if you don't really like them. and they also accept people might and will not like them. and that is fine. and that doesn't make either person horrible. you're just different people. and you don't even have to interact
you want to make friends ? ask people things, compliment people's work, genuinely attempt to make conversation. this is not an impersonal website the way twitter is. people don't care about your opinions because they care about you, and you are more than what you don't like
the more positive and jokey and interactive you are the more people will talk to you. there's no "hitting the algorithm", there's no "engagement", it's just people talking to people. so don't be a neg posting bot, and be a person
you will learn to be less miserable. you learn to stop giving a shit and just do what makes you happy. they cannot get you here. there's no qrts. the few antis you'll find can be blocked and you'll never have to directly interact with one. don't be mean to the people in your own community, even if you disagree
again, you are more than what you don't like. learn to be what you like instead. and leave the dooming at the door
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xomoosexo · 1 year
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dteam twitter people migrating here ily but remember to:
reblog! cause we are a home grown economy here, there's no fancy algorithm. the only way people will see your posts is for bigger blogs to reblog you (and then more blogs reblog from them and so on)
liking! a lot of people around here don't like when you like but don't reblog (remember, no algorithm. likes really do nothing) liking without reblogging is fine sometimes but for things like fanart, it's probably best to pop a reblog!
decorate your blog! people might think you're a bot or a troll if you don't slap a little color on the walls! super easy to find a random pic of gnf and make it your pfp lol
tagging! a lot of people use hashtags for thoughts about someone elses post, compliments to an artist, extra notes they don't want on the main post, and also as content and trigger warnings. Not that many people maintag around here anymore unless it's something like fanart or important information!
tags to note:
#dtblr
#dteam fanart- fan art maintag
#dreamblr- dream fan maintag
#dreblr- c!dream fan maintag (positive only)
#dreamwastaken tag for dream since #dream is too broad
#404blr- George fan maintag
#pandasblr- sapnap fan maintag
#dream situation/drituation- discussion of the allegations
"#tw ___" or "#cw ___"- tags for trigger and content warnings, please use! (ex: #tw blood)
"#___ neg" or "#___ crit"- tags for creator criticism and negativity (ex: #george neg)
#mcyt- broad tag for all of minecraft youtube on this site. totally okay for most dtblr posts
#Minecraft- tag for Minecraft fandom. Not a place for mcyt content and they don't appreciate it when we tag this. (though if you want to post your cool Minecraft builds or mob vote stuff that is a okay!)
interact! reblog posts! add something to the post! compliment someone's art in the tags! follow people!
and most importantly:
chill out! people here tend to be a lot more relaxed about what we post because this is primarily a fan space. if you see someone posting something you think is against creators wishes or invasive,
just block them. You should also feel free to block tags for things you don't want to see, and don't get upset with people if you see something that's tagged correctly- it's on you to curate your dash.
now about shipping. people on here tend to be a lot more lenient and comfortable with ship content since they know creators won't see it or interact with it.
the line between shipping/truthing or joke shipping is super blurry. if you don't want to see people talking about dnf /srs then block them! But for a lot of people on here they don't really care and it's very excepted for people to be somewhere between joking and serious.
and finally, just don't be a dick! people on here tend to be a lot less hostile, if you see something you think should have warnings in the tags but doesn't, shoot them an ask! 90% of the time they'll amend it. We have been using Tumblr instead of twitter because we don't like creators seeing what we post. so please respect that boundary by not reposting anything on here to twitter or other sites! have fun!!!
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killakalx · 3 hours
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↳ ageless/blank blogs dnf
18+ content, triple threat, pussy eating, minor mention of spit (dg), fingering (dg & jt), 69 position (rh), every dc man is a munch because i said so, argue with the wall
❦ Dick Grayson, who folds you over yourself and holds your legs wide open when he eats you out. he starts slow, almost calculated as he talks about how nasty you are, spelling his name out before each flick of his tongue over your clit. hot and labored breaths are huffed against your lips as he picks up the pace, tongue dipping deep into your cunt and a guttural groan makes you gasp. he feels you clench on his tongue and it’s taken as a signal, dangerously long fingers suddenly curling up into your pussy and making you whimper above him. you’re pleading for more, he assumes, harsh tugs on his hair making him moan deep into your core and driving you over the edge.
still, his fingers speed up while your cum leaks around them and against his palm. he pulls his mouth away, covered in slick and drool with a nasty grin on his face, all for you to see- or just so he can see the desperate look on your face as you twitch for and beg for a break. he fixes his angle and you cry out, whining at the faux sympathy in his voice. it’s alright, sweetheart- i know. jus’ feels too good, yeah? a thick glob of spit lands on your clit and you’re so fucking wet, it’s as if he only did it for the sentiment- just to start circling and sucking at the sensitive bud until you’re damn near crying.
❦ Jason Todd, who locks your thighs around his head and muffled himself as his fingers dig into your hips. he’s practically consumed by your supple and savory skin, biting and sucking dark hickeys into your inner thigh before returning to your weeping cunt. the way he uses his mouth is obscene, making sure you hear the loud squelch and lewd slurps every time he dips his head deeper into your pussy. his fat tongue laps from your hole all the way to your clit before he sucks, letting out a deep and muffled laugh between your legs when you mewl. jason moves his hand to prod thick fingers at your entrance, forcing you to buck into his face and getting him deeper inside.
the way you chant his name- jay… jay- jason, oh fuck- it fuels his ego, and you can feel the wicked grin against your skin. he can tell you’re close now, and he only encourages you until your moans turn long and drawn out, burying his face in your pussy with a few weak thrusts. his gravely voice hums against you, fuck, gorgeous- all f’me, huh? yeahhh, all for me. you’ve got him humping the mattress like a fucking teenager with the way you keen for him, but he’s set on making you cum over and over on his tongue. he pays no mind to your hand pushing him away, pulling his fingers away from you pussy and locking you right back up with his bare hands.
❦ Roy Harper, who moans into your cunt before you’re even properly positioned to suck him off, situating you right on top of his face so he can grope your ass. the enthusiasm makes you buckle over and giggle, pulling out a whine from his throat. you finally give him some needed attention, sucking at his tip and rubbing pre-cum down his shaft. it pushes him further into you as he groans, hugging your whole body closer to his face and chest. it’s an endless cycle: your mouth wrapped beautifully around his cock, leaving stray saliva and lipgloss around the base, only leading to desperate moans vibrating all the way up your spine as he bucks into the back of your throat; in turn, you whimper and gag, hands holding onto his thighs to ground yourself. the room is filled with all types of debauched noises and it only turns him on more- god, he needs to hear more.
he doesn’t let up, even when you resort to stroking his dick to give yourself breath, lurching over and keening about how close you are. the arch in your back, the way you grind into his face- it’s got him determined. give it to me, doll- cmon, lemme get a taste of this pretty pussy. you can’t even deny him, ruining his face with a loud moan along the base. your pleasure feeds directly into his, and he’s cursing between your pussy lips as ropes of cum cover his pelvis and your hand. you’re dripping down his face when he lifts you up a tad, but he only takes a few moments to catch his breath before he’s pulling you back down on his face. he just needs you wailing and creaming all over his face one more time.
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safetycar-restart · 5 months
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KINKTOBER DAY 14: GANG BANG [MERCEDES X READER]
NOTE: This is a nsfw fic with dom!reader and sub!Mick, featuring Lewis, George, Toto and Bono. If you're under 18 or uninterested, then scroll past. If you like what you see here, then check out the rest of my blog :))
This fic forms part of a kinktober series where I discuss a different concept with different motorsport athletes. We discuss the concepts in more detail on my blog so if you're inspired by what you read here, feel free to stop by!
(This fic takes place in an dom/sub AU everyone is either a dom, sub or switch. Reader is the Mercedes team dom, with Mick being the team sub. If you like this AU, you can check out more of it on my blog under the 'D/S AU' tag)
Qatar 2023. Lewis DNFs, crashing into George and nearly taking George out the race. Somehow, George fights his way to 4th.
Mick has no idea what to do. When they crash on lap 1, Mick outwardly whines and turns to see where you are. He hates seeing his team upset, and he already knows this will cause so much drama. As the team sub, all he wants is to be a good boy for his team and make everyone happy.
Mick finds you sitting with the pit crew and drags you back to where he and Toto are watching the race. Toto glances at you, nodding for a moment and turning back to the screen.
When the race ends, Mick has no idea what to do with himself. He wants to go find and comfort lewis, but George deserves to be celebrated. He just turns to you, having no idea what to do.
When you go to Lewis, he's devastated, and he refuses to take any comfort from you because he says he needs to wait until George finishes the race so he can apologise. If this were George, you would have pulled your rank as team dom and made him come with you. But you know that Lewis needs to address this directly with George before he can do anything else.
So you agree to wait until the race is finished.
Once you agree to that, you go to fetch Mick because you're sure the poor thing must be distraught. And he is, he's cuddled up on Toto's lap, hiding in toto's lap and resting his head against toto's earphones so he can hear the radio chatter.
He spots you approaching and tries to get up but Toto tightens his hold on Mick, clearly taking comfort from the team sub himself. So instead you order Mick to say where he is and comfort Toto, promising him that you're looking after Lewis.
So that's how it goes until the race ends, with you and Bono waiting with Lewis while Mick stays with Toto. When things finally end, George has done an amazing job. 4th!!
Lewis is the first to speak to George, apologising for what he's done and hugging him. George nods, hugging Lewis back but it's very clear that he is not fully okay.
Mick turns to you, unsure of what to do.
And for a moment you arent sure either, because you have two team members who need very different things. But then you think about it, thinking about how disjoined the entire team is and realise what the best solution is.
Everyone scenes together, whoever wants to join can.
Mick, of course, is very willing to do whatever you say, trusting that it will be what the team needs. Lewis and George knows better than to argue with you, and you just give Toto one look and he's on his way. Bono ends up joining too.
Mick is confused and unsure what to do, looking to you for guidance because everything feels so disjointed and no one knows what to do.
You take everyone back to the hotel, telling Toto, George, Lewis and bono to sit and watch while you prep Mick. You tell them they aren't to talk, just sit and watch.
Mick is so good for you, laying on his back with his knees pulled up to his chest and letting out little whines as you slowly open him up.
Before you can finish, George speaks up and asks if he can lay with Mick, if he can hold his hand. And well, how could you possibly say no to that? So you let George come and sit on the bed, and pulls mick's head into his lap and holds his hand.
"Good boys," you tell them, smiling when they both beam at you.
Mick and George are your good boys, so seeing them cuddled up while Mick feels good is perfect, exactly what those two need.
When you're happy with how prepped Mick is, you move to the top of the bed, sitting on the other side of Mick and calling the other three forward.
Toto, bono and Lewis get to take turns fucking Mick, while you and George comfort him and hold him.
By the end Mick is so fucked out he can barely move, just rolls over into your arms and mumbles his thanks.
Toto says behind for aftercare, always extra protective of Mick. So you and Toto clean Mick up, with George staying at mick's side the entire time, not wanting to let his fellow sub out of his sight.
Right before you're about to go to sleep, you get a message from Lewis, asking if he can come back and spend the night.
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stcrgazings · 9 months
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like a tatoo pt2?
two ghosts ➳ (c.l)
like a tatto pt2, you can read part one here
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
note: hi girls it’s been a while, and this is long promised and so I decided to finish it finally today to celebrate p4 and p5 in Canada, truth to be told i struggled terribly with this one, because I didn’t really planned for like a tatto to have a pt2, i mean it was an idea but i thought people wouldn’t even like it but then everyone wanted it so yeah, I basically wrote and rewrote the whole thing about 7-8 times because I didn’t liked it, but after a thousand rewrites I’m finally happy with the outcome, i hope you enjoy it and leave it tons of notes, it doesn’t really have to do much with the song but I thought of it when writing so it only seemed fitting.
pairing: charles leclerc x female reader
summary: Charles can’t stop thinking about a certain someone and manifesting without realizing it’s a powerful thing, but will he be able to fix what he broke?
warnings: angsts (lots of it) swearings, fighting, crying, two heartbroken people almost killing each other.
word count: 5.4K (longest yet in the blog)
He’s thinking of you again.
In his dying car in the middle of the track, he thinks thinks in those same red lips that flood his mind at any given minute and also that he must be the most unlucky person in the world, and that if you were here you’ll probably tell him that he’s just being his negative self and that that he’ll be alright.
But you’re not, thanks to no one but him, so he curses to himself and gets out of the car.
He thinks of you again, as he answers all types of questions to the hound of reporters that surrounds him, he imagines that it’s you that’s waiting for him in the garage, ready to hold him and kiss him and make him feel better but it’s the new girl that he’s seeing that wraps him in her arms, and he hates it because it doesn’t feel the same and her comfort isn’t half as good as yours and quite frankly just because she isn’t you.
But what he hates even more is the lonely road to the hotel, and the way your face is plastered in every single advertisement in that big city he’s in, just like in Monaco, and France and every single country in the globe, and the sour feeling that is to look at your beautiful face knowing that he’ll never have you again is as bad as getting a DNF in the first race of the season, if not worse.
The girl besides him talks and talks, hoping that maybe he’ll feel better, but he doesn’t because her long lashes look just like yours and that definitely doesn’t help him feel better at all, he feels more like being punch in the gut, repeatedly. But he doesn’t say anything and just remains kept to himself the whole ride, thinking about how you are or what you’ve been doing.
Maybe right now you’re thinking of him too.
Eventually he’s too in his head, thinking about what you would tell him in this situation he’s in, what you would do to make him feel better and forget the week if not months he’s had, he ends up sending the girl by his side away, repeating the words that once he said to you “you just wouldn’t understand baby” and watches her face drops, he feels his hearts sinks because your torturing sobs ring in his hears whilst the girl besides him leaves the room without saying goodbye.
(Just like you once did)
He knows that what he is doing is definitely not healthy at all, but he can’t really help himself, the memories of you being the only thing that keeps him a float, because he can’t really have you now, you’re no longer one call or one flight away, he’s by himself now, so reminiscing about you and your time together brings him some sense of peace.
He imagines that you would be waiting for him at his Monaco apartment, or at the airport, he wishes in silence to accidentally bump into you at the supermarket aisle once he gets back, fooling no one but himself, knowing none of those things will be happening when he gets home.
He used to think that racing with be enough, that if he just went day by day by the time season started he would be able to get ahold of himself, and then a competitive car would just do the rest but looking at the car he has right now that doesn’t even look like an option.
It’s like it was one step forward, thinking of last year, how he could’ve had it all, the championship and the girl and everything he could ever wanted, but now a long year later he knows its really three steps back, because he doesn’t have anything in the championship, as not one point adds up in his standings and he definitely doesn’t have the girl, doesn’t have you.
He opens his phone searching up your name, something he does religiously every night, to check on you without actually doing it, to tell himself that you’re okay, that you’re happy, and better off without him, the urge to text you or call you is always there, itching on the tip of his fingers, but it never wins, even though he truly does want it to, so he can tell you that he misses you, and that he’s sorry, and that he can’t live without even though he has tried with everything he has in him.
But he doesn’t, he never does, he just scrolls through his phone, reading about how you were in Italy a few days back, in Rome, for a fashion show or something liked that, and then feels his heart drop like he does every time he reads about you, this time he stares at the pictures of you exiting a club clearly wasted with an Argentinian soccer player, called Dybala or something liked that, by your side with his arm wrapped tightly around your waist and your face was deeply into his neck.
He sighs and throws his phone to the other side of the bed with something that feels like sadness, anger and jealousy all together and decides that’s enough you for the night.
He knows he has no right to feel anything involving you, because he was the one that screwed up, he was the one that had broken up with you and essentially ended things but he still did because he missed you and was still completely in love with you; He would even say haunted by you, his heart still skipping a beat every time someone mentioned you, his mind was constantly flooded with everything that involved you, he still thought about you when he saw tulips because they were your favorite flower, and every time he sees a sunset he can almost picture you with your phone in hand taking a picture and when he listens to Taylor Swift you’re all that comes to mind, even though he probably didn’t know what your favorite song was anymore since it was always changing from time to time.
He thought way too often about the fact that you probably didn’t think of him anymore when you heard lover and probably all too well was the one to go now that it came to him.
Everyone told him that it would get better eventually, but every day it felt like it was actually getting worse because in every living breathing moment of every hour of every day he just wanted to be with you, to be worthy of your love, to be like you both used to be before things had gotten bad, before he became a douche and didn’t realize it, before he pushed away and damaged things beyond repair.
Maybe in another universe he did everything right.
You’re both 20 years old and nothing bad has ever happened to you.
In another universe everything went well, and he won the championship with Ferrari, and you’re sitting on his lap giggling in his neck whilst in the beach in his yacht.
In another universe he’s the bigger person and doesn’t open your contact info just to see your profile picture.
In another universe he does get over you and everything gets better.
But there isn’t another universe so his fingers ghost over your phone number as he wants to call you, but then decides that a text wouldn’t hurt anyone since you probably have him blocked like in any other social media and wouldn’t get it anyway.
So he types an “i miss you” and then presses the send button, with his hands shaking and his heart in his throat, somehow the “I hope that you’re ok” that he types after hurts him even more as he sends it.
He knows he’ll get no answer, like he said before, you have him blocked everywhere, and he wants to say he wrote that just to vent all of the feelings from the past few weeks, but a teeny tiny part of him still wishes for you to read them, and he can’t help but wonder if you’re just as miserable as he is right now.
But that doesn’t change how mortified he becomes as the word delivered appeared on his screen, his heart dropping from his throat to his stomach.
Well fuck.
(…)
I miss you.
You’ve always been an glass half empty type of girl and you’ve never even know why, you’ve always been negative except with everything that involved Charles.
But that doesn’t change how decompose you are after getting that text, silent tears stream down your face as you made your way out of the busy club, feeling like the air inside it was being slowly stripped away from you, your lungs failing to do their job as you felt like breathing was to much of a task.
I hope that you’re ok.
It knocks the air out of you, and before you know it you’re emptying your insides in the sidewalk in the back of the club, and you’re sweating and you feel like you’re about to pass out.
I miss you.
Everything is a blur, you feel your own bodyguards hand around your arm as they get you in the car, your friend behind you.
“You’re okay miss?” The question rings in your ears and you want to answer no but your voice doesn’t seem to come out, so you just move your head from side to side signaling a clear “no.”
From then on the voices feel distorted, worrying looks surrounding you, you feel your friends hands all over your face, her left hand firm on your chin as she took one good look at you, staring deep into your very drunk and disoriented eyes.
“I think she’s intoxicated”
I hope that you’re ok.
You are basically pass out in the back seat of the black Range Rover in, head pressed in your friends lap as she blows air on your face, there’s discussion in the front seat, something about taking you to a hospital, they tell you not to fall asleep, but you can’t really help your closing eyes, and so as everything turns into black you think that this whole thing is unfair, and that he doesn’t have a right to miss you after every he did but a drunk mumble comes out of you anyways.
“He needs to know that I miss him too” is the last thing that leaves you in a dry and tired whisper as your consciousness is lost in the back seat of the car.
(…)
“I fucking hate Balmain” you muster as you fix your hair in the bathroom, still a little drunk, definitely a lot hangover, your head pounding so much it felt like it was going to burst.
You were currently in an event, a Balmain one in case it wasn’t clear, a tiny skirt adorned your legs with a white top from the brand that squeezed you in all the right places, your hair was curly and down, the high ponytail that you’ve worn for the past months gone, since just a few hour ago you told your stylist that anymore pressure in your head would make you puke.
To say that you would rather be anywhere else than in this 20ft yacht was an understatement
but your manager had almost dragged you here in an attempt to do some damage control because of the show you just pulled last night.
So you smile and nod and chat politely with everyone that comes close, and you giggle and flirt with the Argentinian soccer player in front of you, allowing his roaming hands just above of the curve of your ass and into the naked back of your dress, laughing playfully.
And when Paulo Dybala leaves you, you do tell him that you might be free later that night.
You take another sip of champagne when all of the sudden you feel a heavy stare just at the back of your neck, a shiver running down your spine and you would know that feeling everywhere because it’s what you’ve been missing all this time.
Charles fucking Leclerc, your ex, and the one you might consider the love of your life, it’s in the same enclosed space that you are right now, and not any enclosed space but in a stupid yacht that is kilometers away from mainland, kilometers away from any scape from him.
But of course that doesn’t stop you from finding the closest emergency exit from the room, and feeling him behind you before you even start running to the outside of the boat, the bow you think that it’s called, but it’s the last thing you think about as you basically jump stairs down.
“Y/n wait!” He calls out for you and your name from his mouth sounds just as you remember and it breaks you down almost completely.
“Get away from me Charles!” You shout at him, grabbing your dress and waking as fast as your heels allow you to, because you don’t want to see him and let alone hear whatever it is he has to say.
“y/n, please listen” he grabs you by the wrist before you can separate from him even further, you didn’t even know where you were going considering you were trap in a yacht in the middle of the sea but it was definitely away from him.
“There’s nothing you can say that I want to hear Charles, please let me go” you turn around to see him, to finally catch a glimpse of him, a good look into him at the person you used to love the most, and the moment you are met with does same eyes green you’ve thought about everyday since he left you, you feel yourself tremble because there’s begging in his eyes desperation even, and even though you want to look away from it, you can’t.
“I can’t— I can’t keep living like this, I need you to hear me out please” he looks at you too, and god me missed you, moon dancing over your good side making you look as beautiful as ever as he pulls you a little closer to him, because he needs you, like he never needed anything before, and it breaks him, it shatters his heart into a million peace the look that you give him, because it’s filled with hurt and pain, and your eyes looks glassy and broken and he knows that it’s all because of him.
“You need—! you need me to listen!” At this point you’re past hurt, now you’re livid because how dare he and he actually looks scared when you walk towards him and you thank God that all of the guests are inside having dinner because you now think that you might kill him.
“What about what I needed Charles!?” You push him away, freeing yourself from his grab on your wrist and decide that if he wants to talk then you’ll talk.
“I needed you! And you fucking left me, I held together our relationship for months Charles, I booked the flights, I killed myself going from New York to Monaco just to see for six or seven hours because you were busy and never had the time, I waited for you up every time you came back from a race just to see your face even though you never even spoke to me because you were sad, you pushed me away, you quite literally gave up on our relationship and I need to hear you out?. Fuck off Charles” you brush your hair out of your hair, tears staining your rosy cheeks, and you want to hate him you truly do, but as you look at him you simply can’t, and that makes you even more miserable.
The whole thing makes you want to jump from the boat and drown, your head pulsing from how bad it hurts and you don’t know if it is because the only thing you have eaten in the whole day were some olives or because of the hangover or because of how infuriated you are.
“Ange I…” the nickname sends chills down your spine, Charles simply stares at you and just wants to make it all better, wants to take these whole months back, wants to stop himself from treating you the way he did when you were still together but he knows he can’t.
“Don’t call me that” you spit before he can even continue but he walks towards you to grab you again, and you don’t stop him when his hands find your arms again. “Okay but please don’t cry, I can’t stand to see you cry”
“Baby I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am for all of that, and If could take it back I would, in the split of a second, I didn’t know how to value you back then and I took you for granted when I shouldn’t have, and every day since we broke up I’ve lived to regret it, I’ve been miserable since the day you left” he says and it sounds truthful, but you can’t let yourself believe him. “You didn’t look miserable when you hooked up with every other girl in Monaco, including my best friend” you shoot back. Cleaning the tears from your cheeks before he can even dare to.
“Maybe I didn’t take the best choices, that I know, but they weren’t you!”
“It’s that supposed to make me feel better?” You mock him, because you are hurt and angry, and he can’t help but groan in frustration. “Yes—! No—! I mean that, I am trying to make it better, I love you, okay? Like I’ve never loved someone before that I know, and it’s killing me, I hate seeing you like this, every time I’ve been happy it’s because I thought of you, in my car it’s you who I want singing at the songs in the radio, it’s you who I want to wake up to, it’s you who I want to come home to, it’s you, everything I’ve ever wanted, every living day, every night baby, it’s you who I come to, checking to see if you are okay, wondering how you are, if you are okay”
“Well I’m not, I’ve been miserable, fucking going insane because of how badly I’ve missed you, getting drunk every fucking weekend trying to get you out of my mind, because you are all I can think about, wearing your shirts in the bathroom floor while I can’t stop crying because of badly I want you, despite of what you did to, because even after everything I wanted to call you, to hear your voice and to tell you that I loved you, isn’t it pathetic?” You asked, because that is exactly how you’ve felt, pathetic, even now hearing him out when you know that you know better than that.
“What? No you are not pathetic baby, you could never be and I am so sorry for making feel less than how wonderful and amazing you are, I wanted to call you too, you have no idea”
“Then why didn’t you?!” You asked and that is the only thing you actually want to hear from him, because for him to call you was everything you ever wanted, for the longest time it was. “Because I convinced myself that you were better off without me, I didn’t wanted to keep hurting you”
“It’s—it’s what you are doing right now!”
You want to say something, anything really but you can’t, because the whole thing it’s to much and before things can get even worse, your body fucking betrays you and your lungs stop doing what they are supposed.
“Stop” you speak, softly for the first time since the whole conversation started, and it’s quiet and you can’t stop crying, and you want to scream and disappear because you don’t want to keep having this conversation because it hurts, it hurts so much.
“Hey, hey, are you okay?” He asks. Eyes glistening, fighting back the tears seeing you like this, how did you both end up here?, “I can’t breath” you muster and it’s wheezy and you don’t want him to see you like this but you can’t really stop it.
“I just want to go home!” You sob lowering your head, giving up at the whole thing, feeling like a small child who just wants her mom, dropping to the floor, Charles joining you by your side.
And it’s quiet while you sob, and cry, hands on your face and he wants to hug you but he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to, but he places a hand on your thigh, tracing it up and down and it’s gentle and completely innocent while he does it, eventually you place your head in his shoulder it’s almost natural like an instinct and you feel your heart flutter when he places a soft kiss in your temple, “I can’t let you hurt me again Charles, I won’t make it.”
“I won’t” he whispers in your head, and it’s a promise, grabbing and intertwining your hand with his leaves a kiss in your knuckles and stares deep into your eyes. “I love you baby, please give me another chance.” You cry again because you want to believe him but you can’t , falling apart completely into his arms allowing him to wrap you into his embrace, tears staining his shirt, soaking him completely, his hands meeting your neck, now combing your hair through his rings and fingers.
“I didn’t deserve what you did to me” you whisper, still buried deep in this chest while he stared at you and nodded, because he knows it’s true, that you didn’t deserve everything that he did to you, he knows that he did wrong.
“I know that you didn’t deserve it, you didn’t deserved any of it, that’s why I’m apologizing because I treated you so badly when all you did was being there for me, and that’s why I’m also asking you to please give me another chance so that I can prove to you that I’ll make it better, and that I’ll make it up to you for the rest of our lives, if you let me”
Part of you wants to believes him and I’m fact a part of you does, and it’s that part that crawls deep in your chest when you finally look at him, at those green eyes that you used to call home, but now are filled with tears and despair, but even then Charles still tries and smiles at you, and you can almost feel yourself crumble, because you remember the first time you ever saw him smile and thought that, that smile was the one that you wanted to see for the rest of your days, and suddenly you aren’t in the boat heartbroken and crying in his arms, but in your apartment together sitting on the counter tasting the pancakes he just made for you. You are in Monza getting so wasted that you can’t even walk so he has your high heels in hand carrying you in a bridal style back to your hotel room, you are in a simulator in Maranello sitting on his lap while he teaches you how to use it, you are by his side blasting a Taylor Swift song telling him how much you love him, you are kissing goodbye before he goes to another continent to race, you are in bed wearing his t-shirt, hugging him, crying on his arms like you are doing right now but because you saw a movie where a dog died, and you know that despite that everything that he ever did to you, you still love him.
That’s why you pull closer, both of your breaths becoming just one because of the proximity, noses touching completely while breathing heavily because neither of you pull away, Charles tugging a strand of hair behind your ear while cupping your cheek and your heart is beating just as fast as the car he drives for a living, his pupils dilated and you shouldn’t, you can’t.
But of course that he kisses you, and there’s stillness and hesitation because for a second you don’t don’t kiss him back because you are better than this and just when Charles thinks everything is lost, you kiss him back.
And his lips against yours it’s just as good as you remembered to be, and it’s soft and slow but also desperate and needy your back arching against him because the closeness is not enough, both of his hands in your back while yours are cupping his cheeks and neither of you can’t tell if you’re actually pulling or pushing away, and it’s magical and soothing and just as stomach twisting as it always was, even with your own tears mixing in the kiss, and you don’t ever want it, it to end.
So you kiss him, with all that you have whispering a breathy, “fuck.” Throwing your legs over his lap, foreheads touching while he smiles at you and you smile at him too, and it’s the happiest you’ve been in months.
“I missed this” Charles mutters softly against your lips and all you can do is nod, enjoying the gentle strokes in the naked part of your lower back still drunk in the whole thing. “I missed this too” and you kiss him back because it’s true, and the first thing you think is how were you able to survive this long with out it, without him.
You both stay there for the longest time, giggling and kissing and making up for the time lost, and it feels like before everything went to shit and you would be lying if you said that didn’t give you a shrink of hope.
You tell him about modeling, and how everything in your life work wise seems to be working out smoothly, you tell him about all the places you’ve been, and all the countries you’ve visit since you left each other, you tell him about parties and how you are kinda still drunk from last night. “Is that my fault?”, He asks shyly making you laugh softly.
“Well not really, when I got your text I was almost already pass out in the back of the club, I was just thinking about you yesterday” you confess, back against his chest, you’re both standing now against the rail of the boat. “um, I saw the race.” You say, playing with the rings in his fingers, his arms around your waist and his chin in your shoulder and you feel him sigh against you.
“You saw that huh” he mumbles in the crook of your neck, feeling the disappointment in himself in the tone of voice because you know him that well, you always have. “You know it’s not your fault, right?” You tell him, because it truly isn’t, because every time that the team fails him Charles feels like he’s the one that did.
“Doesn’t feel like it” he says pain clear in his voice. “Listen to me, Charles”, you turn around to face him, cupping his face in between his face, “I’ve been your number one hater for these past months, but please believe me when I tell you that that wasn’t your fault, even I can’t deny your talent, and if you need to believe someone, it’s me, I know you, more than Carlos, and Fred, and those reporters and engineers, I know you, and I know for a fact that you are gifted and talented, and that what happened was most definitely not your fault, okay?”
You tell him, still with your hands in his face, shaking him playfully so it enters his stubborn head while smiling jokingly.
“I believe you” he tells you, because it’s you and if there’s someone that can make him believe something it’s you, so he kisses you again, lips crashing against yours once again, loving and hungry and he wants to have you for the rest of his life.
“Soooo…” he begins again, playing with the fabric of your dress at the end of your naked back and just above the curve of your ass.
“…does this mean you’ll give me another chance?”
He drops the one million dollar question, with both your hearts still beating the fastest they can, and you’ve pictured this very exact moment a thousands times in the past few months and you’re shaking because it’s all you’ve ever wanted but even better, and fuck you love him, and his green earthshaking eyes, and his smile that’s every dentist dream, and the way that his lips feel against yours and the way his hands fit perfectly in the curve of your waist and intertwined with your hand, and you love him even when you hate him even when you just were crying because of him not even a hour ago, and is breathtakingly frustrating in the best way possible.
And so you throw your hands behind his head playing with his hair just like you always used to do, “Baby…” and you know the answer even before it can even come out of your lips.
“When we get off this boat I don’t want to see or hear from you ever again.” And it hits Charles like a brick in the face, because yes you love him, with everything that you have in you, but sometimes love isn’t enough and you know that in this point of your lives he can’t give you what you want, what you deserve even, that in the long run it’ll never work out because how could you trust him? Trust that he won’t hurt you again? After it took him almost three months to figure out that he can’t live without you? Because you’ll never look at him with the same eyes again, because you’re not who you used to be, because you are just two ghosts standing in the graveyard of your relationship, mourning what what I’ll never be again.
After that everything it’s foggy, you don’t know if it is because of how hard you’re trying to hold off the tears, because he’s crying at your feet, and it aches you, because he’s begging at you face deep into you, holding you so tightly you don’t even know how to think straight.
“Baby please don’t do this to me, please” he sobs against you, tears sliding freely through wetting your clothes completely with his now red face and you wonder if he felt this awful when he left you just a few months ago.
“If you ever loved m—“ you sob inevitably without even looking at him because you don’t think you’ll be able to take it, “if you ever loved— me like you say you did, you’ll respect my decision, it’s the least you can do for me” you say between tears and sobs before walking away and you think that it might be the hardest thing you’ve ever done in your life.
But letting go of you it’s actually the hardest thing Charles ever done too, but at the end of the day all he ever wanted was for you to be happy, even when if it’s not with him, even when he doesn’t know what he’ll do with his life now that the smallest bit of hope that he had, was just crush right in front of him.
He loves you and he thinks that it might kill him, he thinks it’s the biggest piece of karma he’s ever gotten, because even though he’s never loved you more, you don’t want to see him again and if it’s what you want, it’s what he’ll do, because part of loving it’s letting go, right?
When you get off the boat and into your car you cry like you’ve never done before, but you know that you’ll be okay, that you’ll do everything to be so.
That you’ll even do as if you never even met Charles Leclerc because it might have been better that way, and you’ll go day by day trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat without him in your life.
THE END.
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TAGLIST (everyone who asked for a pt2) [@ushygushybaby @beesbadger @tempo-rary-fix @honethatty12 @jollysaladprunefriend @leclerc16s @haydee5010 @taurussbabe @nmw-am @mycenterfold]
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joelslegalwhre · 1 year
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Temper
𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 ⁀➷ max verstappen x reader
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 ⁀➷ 1.3k
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 ⁀➷ Max’s bad mood is at it’s peak and you’re more than fed up with it. It just gets worse when he crashes with Charles in the race and loses his temper once again, but maybe that’s exactly what the two of you needed to confess what’s long overdue.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ⁀➷ best friends to lovers, mentions of breakup, kinda pining on both sides, swearing, max dnf-ing, you’re allowed to go where he crashed, they already act like a couple let’s be honest
𝐚/𝐧 ⁀➷ yep so this is an old one, I wrote this shortly after max and his ex broke up. This should in no way be disrespectful towards their past relationship nor anything else! remember this is fiction loves x (tell me if I missed a warning please x) This is kind of an experiment because my posts on my side blog @earthfairytale won‘t show up in tags or search 😭 You can‘t even find the blog itself anymore, if anyone knows how to fix this, please send help!
𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 "You can't just lose your temper like this, every time you get a bit upset!" could I have this with Max pls? 🥰
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It's been a crazy day and it wasn't even eight o'clock yet. From the minute you woke up to the car ride to the track, it's just been pure stress, thanks to Max. He was acting like a six-year-old since Dilara broke up with him. 
She's always been nice whenever you met her, but there was this look on her face when you were around with his family or him. You didn't notice it, you were just getting along with his family as if it was your own and they treated you like that, so you never noticed any negative feelings. 
But let's start at the beginning. You are Max Verstappen's best friend. You two knew each other since you were about 5 years old. Your Dad owned a kart track and you loved to accompany him there. The smell, the atmosphere, you loved just everything about it. Once in a while, you drove there yourself but you enjoyed watching all the different people just as much. 
One day this boy with his Dad entered the track. You stood beside your Dad as they did, and as Jos saw your Dad they hugged and immediately talked about 'the good old times'. Apparently, this was one of your Dad’s old friends he sometimes talked about. You and the little boy stood there and just smiled at each other, your Dads already deep in conversation. 
You stuck your hand out to introduce yourself. "Hi, I'm Y/N." you said. 
"I'm Max." he smiled and shook your hand. 
That was the day you two became best friends and an inseparable and unbeatable team. You got to know him as no one else did. And he got to know you like no one else. 
You are Max's resting place. When he is with you he can still be a little short-tempered but you always get him to calm down. You usually manage it just by being by his side or talking to him. There was something about you that just calmed him. 
Ever since then, you went to every race Max had. You were his anchor when he got angry and when he got sad. You were there in his highs and lows. As he started with Formula One, you were unbelievably proud of him. The day he told you that the team he was joining said you could come to the races with him was one of the best days of your life. 
Of course, you always accompanied him before but Formula One was another level, so you were over the moon when you realised you could travel the world with him and didn't have to let Max go. His team liked you a lot, they even got you your own team gear for the second season you spend with them in Formula One.
But days like this robbed you of your nerves. Max was constantly complaining about everything. He was very emotional none the less, which wasn't a bad thing for you. But since his girlfriend broke up with him it became worse, to a point where you really didn't want to be in the same room as him. 
The worst thing? He didn't even tell you why she broke up with him. He hasn't talked to you as much as before, which you could partially understand but you just knew that it wasn't the normal heartbreak-moody thing. He had something else on his mind. 
You were reasonable enough to give him his space, but at some point, you had enough. You only talked to him as much as you had to and every time he was getting in his car and put on his helmet you were glad to have some time off. Just like now.
Max bend down, you stood in front of him and kissed his helmet for good luck. No matter what happened or will ever happen between you, this was your ritual, a lucky charm. 
The race didn't start long ago, 46 laps were still to go. You were sitting in Max’s garage along with his team, watching the race. Just as you calmed down a bit, everyone stood up from their chairs and tussled their hair. Charles crashed with Max and they both had obvious DNFs. You knew Max was alright when he spoke to his race engineer but his voice sounded angry. 
Great. You could literally feel the rage rising in Max. 
"Oh god, please, no." you mumbled. Some of Max mechanics turned to you and shook their heads in pity. Not only for Max but for you too as they knew exactly how he was. 
You waited for him to get out of the car and walk his way over to the garage. The accident didn't happen so far away so he was able to walk back. But as he got out of his demolished car, it didn't seem like he planned on going anywhere. He kicked one of his tires and angrily turned to Charles, who got out of his car. Max took off his helmet and walked to him. You knew he wouldn't be able to hold himself back, so if this day shouldn't end with a fight, someone would have to interrupt this now. 
"Oh heck no, not today Max." You said and stood up from your chair. "What are you doing Y/N?" Lee, Max number one mechanic, called after you. "Stopping this god damn idiot from doing something stupid!" you shouted as you started to ran towards the accident. 
"Max!" you shouted angrily. He turned around, surprised. You walked up to him and Charles, boiling with rage now. 
"Go away, Y/N. This is none of your business." 
"Excuse me?" you calmly said. This was it. You grabbed Max’s wrist and walked away from Charles. You could talk to him later. 
The safety car was out so the race was pretty boring. What you didn't know was, that the tv cameras were now completely focused on the two of you. 
You still had Max wrist in a firm grip as you walked back to the garage. But he didn't do anything. Max knew exactly what it meant when you answered him calmly and not angry. 
"Listen, I-" he started to explain himself but you cut him off. You almost had reached the garage but you didn't go in. You stopped and looked at him, letting go of his wrist. 
"No. What is wrong Max?! You can't just lose your temper like this, every time you get a bit upset!" you asked him, shaking your head in disbelieve. 
"I get that you are sad, but you can't kick your tire and start a freaking fight with Charles! Do you think he did this on purpose? What is your problem Max, I really don't get it!" you gestured with your hands, showing your despair. 
You were both still standing in front of the garage and neither of you had even the thought of going back to the hospitality. You had to talk it out with him here and now. Even though everyone could listen to you, you didn't care. It was as if you and Max were alone there in front of the garage. 
"Do you know why she broke up with me, Y/N?" Max asked.
You just shrugged your shoulders, what should this have to do with right now? Max took a deep breath, his voice not as loud this time when he said, "Because I love you." 
It hit you like a shotgun shot to the heart. But not because it was something bad, exactly the opposite was the case. 
"What?" you whispered in disbelief. 
"I love you. And Dilara knew, that's why she broke up with me." 
༄ Don’t copy, translate or republish any of my works on any app or other platform please. I only post my work on Tumblr and Wattpad.
Reblogs are always appreciated, they really make my day🧡
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cinnamon-notes · 3 months
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i've been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night but now i see daylight
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[bio] : cinnamon, roaring twenties || she/they, lesbian || english speaker (not my native language though) || cancer sun, leo rising, cancer moon || infp || either dark academia aesthetic or boho it depends on what im going through :) || i judge taylor swift for putting ice in her wine
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[likes/stans] : taylor swift, gilmore girls, F•R•I•E•N•D•S, cate blanchett, lauren graham|| evermore and reputation stan || i stole my personality from lorelai gilmore || cats, french movies, xmas movies, tea, cinnamon (as you can tell from my user) || wine and coffee || books, poetry, art, photography || butch up my personality (and act out of character) by watching sports while drinking beer || the autumn sky half an hour before sunset || the moon (im her secret lover) || i write my silly little poems, i play my silly little instruments, i make my silly little art, i take silly little pictures || "taylor had an imaginary friend as a child and seven is about their braids like a pattern and their face taylor cannot recall but the love taylor still got for them" truther || she/they james truther || carolina is este's ghost || olivia is taylor's best cat (!!!) || the joker and the queen is taylor's best collab with ed (after run)
[dnf] : homophobic, xenophobic, racist, transphobic, zionist, ... discriminate and are against basic human rights || you're younger than 13, it just creeps me out (sorry. it's not in a mean way) || i post about my mental issues (i mostly struggle with ocd, depression, and have an ed); i always put trigger warnings but if you aren't okay with these topics, just feel free to unfollow/not follow.
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[what i post] : mainly my random thoughts, facts/updates/vents about my life || journal-like paragraphs || i write poems and i have some wips going on, although i dont publish my works here, i tend to share the creative process a lot || taylor swift's lyrics analysis, lyrics parallels, quotes i like, poetry (not mine) || swiftie/friends-related content || movies i watch, books i read, paintings i love, songs i play
[my hashtags] : see the tag #cinnamon-taglist (you can find it in the tags of this post)
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i love talking to people, so feel free to interact, it is more than welcome! thanks for following my blog, i hope you'll have a good time checking it! <3
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zeep-xanflorp · 4 months
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realised i've never done an intro to this blog so it's probably about time
just call me zeep.
i'm 20, audhd, queer and gender queer. any pronouns.
i love ppl interacting in reblogs and leaving asks.
feel free to dm me! i probably won't reply if you just say "hey" or "how are you." just start talking to me like we're already mates. i'm nice i promise.
more about my blog + boundaries below the cut
what i post:
my original posts are mainly rick and morty metas analysing the characters, certain episodes of the show, themes and fandom analysis (tag: #rick and morty meta or #[character name] meta)
for generic posts about specific characters, i use their names (eg. #rick prime, #evil morty)
for posts regarding a certain episode, i use the episode titles (eg. #the abcs of beth, #unmortricken)
posts about a certain season are under the season number or spoiler tags (eg. #rick and morty season 7, #rick and morty season 7 spoilers)
sometimes i thirst over rick and it's embarrassing (tags: #rickfucker #old man alert). i get nsfw sometimes which will be tagged #rickfucker nsft and/or #mdni (srsly minors don't touch these posts, see boundaries below)
if i'm not thirsting or analysing then i'm shitposting.
i do write fanfic but im yet to connect my AO3 to this blog. maybe someday i will.
my main ships in this fandom are: rick c-137/rick prime (#prickcest), rick/birdperson (#birdrick), rick/reader (normally gender neutral, no designated tag yet).
i try to keep things sfw but sometimes i deviate and post some sexual stuff or gore, mainly in reblogs but sometimes in text posts.
i discuss some heavy shit sometimes so i try to consistently tag tws and cws. i use some tags pretty often so blacklist these if you need to: tw suicide, tw suicide mention, cw gore, cw blood, tw alcohol, tw substance abuse. i try adding both the cw and tw tags bc i can't remember which r used more. sometimes i mess up so do lmk and i'll fix it.
boundaries:
i won't and cannot stop anyone from interacting with my posts, however i would ask that you're respectful of my boundaries. if not then you get blocked.
general dni criteria. general don't be a dick rule.
proshippers mainly incest and underage shit, dnf. i'm anti censorship and won't engage in discourse but seeing that especially in the r+m fandom is a genuine trigger. tag your shit correctly and leave me alone and i'll do the same.
i'm a passionate justin roiland anti. anyone who defends him gtfo.
if you're a minor or ageless blog dni with my nsfw posts.
if you're cool w all this then feel free to stick around.
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mcytblr-archive · 21 days
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Early MCYTblr Interviews: gayminecraftmen
today's interviewee is @gayminecraftmen, a mcytblr veteran and member of dreamlying! below is a transcript of the questions and answers, today under a readmore for your scrolling convenience.
Q: What, to the best of your recollection, was your experience in early MCYTblr?
A: This is going to be very longwinded - I would say that I had a pretty unique experience during that time. I joined in early July of 2020 after being inspired by georgeeehd/tommyofcolor/lmanburg - all the same person, Reese's blog. Can't for the life of me remember what his first url was. I got my kickstart in the fandom through him, I started out as one of his anons and when I decided to make a blog of my own he gave me a shoutout. The dream team fandom was still very small at the time, so i'd say a lot of my "popularity" was only because I was one of the firsts. There was nothing truly special about what I was posting at the start of my blog, it was basically all dnf. This eventually went hand in hand with truthing, the thing I'm sure most people remember me for, and something I'll go into more detail on later.
Now, as for the more unique aspect of my time; I never looked at my dashboard. I mean, I didn't need to! All I ever needed to do was look at my notifications and people were feeding me information about what was happening in the fandom. I was 15 during my time in mcytblr, I had no real interest in building a community in the fandom if the community was seemingly being built around me. I felt like a celebrity, people in my ask box were concerningly parasocial towards me - I've got some old screenshots of asks that still creep me out a bit. It was all a huge unhealthy ego boost that made me very manic at times. Anyway - because I rarely even checked other people's blogs at the time, I'm a pretty unreliable source when it comes to anything but my own experience. I ended up deactivating on March 13th 2021 because I hadn't been genuinely into mcyt since.. I want to say October or even September of 2020 and my blog had been losing traction since the start of 2021. It just wasn't fun for me anymore.
Q: What was the general fandom attitude towards creators? More specifically, has the attitude around "boundaries" evolved since then?
A: Like I said I can't really speak on the general fandom, but I can say that in my circle the general concensus was "they're celebrities, they'll never see us, who cares?" I mean, it was tumblr, there were no creators around to see us talk about them. There was truly no worry of any consequences. For my truthing circle specifically, if you saw gay, you said gay. Later on down the line I realized that no, dream and george are not planning their honeymoon in Barcelona, but it ended up being funnier to continue the bit than denounce it altogether.
Q: I recall that you were part of "dreamlying". What was that like? (and, as an aside; is it odd to be considered infamous within a tumblr fan community?)
A: Dreamlying was, and still is, just a friend group. That's literally it. Yes, it's a friend group infamous for doxxing, and truthing, and starting a number of rumors, but still, it's not like we were constantly scheming the next big heist. You can find a number of posts detailing the origins of our group on roxytonic's blog, all conveniently tagged as "#dreamlying" so I won't get into all that at the risk of being redundant. And yes, it's incredibly weird to me that people still consider us to be infamous. Myself, especially as I actually only had a bit over 500 followers. (granted, I am aware that many people checked my blog without following and even more had me blocked). I think my least favorite part about it all is all the lies that other people tell about us. Like, while going through your blog I saw a post where someone had said I was the one who wrote the SBI crit post, a post i hadn't even known existed until I saw you talking about it! As far as I know, whoever wrote that post never had anything to do with dreamlying, and they certainly weren't a member at any point. Yes, we are partially to blame for spreading a bunch of lies about ourselves for fun, but to see just how much that spiraled out of our hands is astounding.
Q: Are there any specific dramas/discourse that you remember from the "dreamlying" era?
A: The dreamlying hijink that I think is the most infamous was the leaking of the fact that dream wasn't registered to vote. This was veeerry early on, and wasn't even a group effort, (as far as I remember nothing pertaining to doxxing ever was. It was usually just one member going off on an internet excursion on their own and sharing with the class as they went). I don't even think dreamlying had even been formed yet, or it was incredibly early. Either way, that can be attributed to Reese, as I'm sure many people remember. Finding this out was as simple as going into Florida's voting records and searching up Dream's name, something that had been doxxed by others beforehand. Frankly, I still don't understand why this was such a big deal to people.
My personal favorite dreamlying happenings were the more absurd rumors that we had started. My personal favorite being that dream's legal team sent a cease and desist to dreamwasfound/georgesoot for defamation of character, which was what we told people was the reason for his deactivation. It's insane to me that anyone ever believed that for even a second. Another favorite, one that never really caught on with the public, was that Ranboo was an ex member of dreamlying. That one was never stated outright but I remember a few subtle hints being thrown out. Sadly, I don't think anyone took the bait on that one.
Q: Moving on from dreamlying-- you mentioned being part of "ebblr" [enderbees tumblr]. Was that different from your experience in previous fringe communities?
A: Not to stroke my own ego, but I do think I had a large part in the creation of ebblr. A lot of the larger ebblr bloggers were my anons at one point. I would say the main difference in my time discussing enderbees, was that I never watched a single tubbo or ranboo stream. Every single piece of information that I had to go off of was sent to me through asks. I barely made any original posts on the topic, again mostly just responding to asks. I remember when people were first trying to think of a name for the ship, I jokingly proposed the name "boobees." I got sent death threats for that.
Q: What do you remember from that time?
A: The enderbees timeline is endlessly hilarious to me. I can't remember all of the specifics but I do recall there being a decently specific timeline of their relationship that people agreed upon. What I remember the most though was when Ranboo came to live with Tubbo for awhile on a visa (unrelated: I believe there was also serious talk of him committing tax fraud with said visa). At the point of the visit, people were already convinced they were dating. It seemed that Ranboo was a pretty ungrateful guest and I believe he ended up leaving early. That's when people started theorizing the breakup. It was later revealed on a stream that Tubbo had Ranboo muted on twitter - this really cemented things. I think people even outside of ebblr could see that their relationship was rocky after that trip, they weren't doing streams together much at all and their friend groups seemed to divide. Again, all of this information was fed to me secondhand, so I may be missing a few beats or be hyperbolizing some things, but this is how it seemed to me as far as I can remember.
Q: Is there anything else you'd like to speak on/about?
A: Don't believe anything about dreamlying that doesn't come directly from a member's mouth (roxytonic's blog being an outlier in this case). Second-hand accounts are essentially useless here, considering how much we lied, or "poisoned the well" as roxy put it. So, unless you're specifically looking to gather information on how we were percieved, most of what you're gonna find on us is simply untrue. If anyone happens to be reading this interview and has more questions, I am probably open to answering them as long as they aren't too prying! My inbox on gayminecraftmen is always open, and I really do love talking about my experiences in this fandom.
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dnfao3tags · 3 months
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a guide to dnfao3tags!
hello there :] i'm kay, the admin of this blog. i've been running this blog from april 29 2022 when i made my dnf starter pack post for all those new to dnf fics. since then, i've made more than 700 posts and have added many features to my blog.
here's a little guide to everything and anything dnfao3tags!
(highly recommend checking my blog out on a pc, a lot more features are easily visible that way)
new to dnf?
as mentioned above, i have a starter pack; along with that i'd like to recommend :
my personal favs
my tag navigation page so you can easily find fics according to your wishes
i also have a masterpost of a significant number of fics i've recommended on this blog, however i don't often update it so its a little useless
every month (or whenever im free), i try to make a monthly fic roundup which i post in the first week of the new month; stay tuned for that
my trope wise reclists
spotlight fic recs from my bookmarks (dnfao3tags bookmarks)
all of my fic rec posts (dnfao3tags recs) - including reclists, spotlight fic recs, fic was founds, etc
posts made by authors themselves for their own fics (author post)
fic recs made by writers themselves (author recs)
there's also a dnf ship wiki surprisingly which might be useful if you want to get familiar with them
if you're confused about any references or something, feel free to send me an ask and hopefully me or my followers can help.
'can i help you?'
absolutely! while i don't accept any more mod/admins on this blog, you can still do the following :
rec/submit a fic (self-promo encouraged)
send me a quote you liked from a fic and view some dnf fic quotes here
here are a bunch of fic not founds that unfortunately were never found. take a look and see if you recognise any!
you can also send me fics to submit in the monthly fic roundup
sometimes i can't find fics for certain tropes so i crowdsource; check if know any fics for that particular trope and send them in
send some fic ideas you have!
deleted fics
i already made a guide to how i deal with deleted fics on this blog.
my Finding Deleted Fics: A Multi-Method Guide post.
if you're an author and would like me to take down your fics then send me a dm and i'll happily do it. if you'd like, i could also only share them in dms too.
fic not found
feel free to ask about any lost fics and i'll see if me or my followers can recognize it. please please Please be as specific as possible and also mention if you think it may be deleted.
i will post your ask asking my followers if i don't recognize it and if someone helps me out, i'll reblog your ask with the found fic so just keep checking the reblogs or the tags fic was found & fic potentially found.
searching my blog
if you open my blog on pc then you'll see one search bar in the header:
Tumblr media
and one like this below the updates box:
Tumblr media
the google enhanced search box is more accurate so i recommend using that one ! however, it is definitely not foolproof so i also recommend using my tagnav to search for a specific post because i tag pretty much everything. you can also send me an ask.
cool features
i have a music player ! you can send in songs for me to add to it
any tips and tricks i have for ao3 will be in this how to ao3 tag
want some writing inspo? here are some fic ideas
you can also ask me for song based reqs
i also have author archives for anonymous authors (eg. mario anon), deleted authors and orphaned authors
click this for a random post of mine
more stuff
i have a twitter (though i am inactive there)
please read my about/faq page before sending asks
i have a tag for any posts that aren't specifically fic recs and just me talking (kay talks) which you can mute if you aren't interested
occasionally i get asks about dreamnotnap which i sometimes answer; you can also mute that tag along with my not dnf tag
and that's all i can currently think of!
i'm thinking of adhering to a posting schedule so i might post about that later. i'm a bit more free these days so i'll probably be a bit more quick to asks.
hope this helped you guys out; thanks for reading :]
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butchcockiness2 · 1 year
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new followers and anyone who hasn't, read my DNI and have the basic human decency to respect it
DNI OR GET BLOCKED:
•minors/ageless bios (at least put your decade cmon)
•your blog is full of stolen porn
•DD|G/ANY AGEPL*Y/INC3ST
•D3TRANS/M*SGENDERING/""C0RRECTIVE""/R4CEPLAY/ FETISHIZING DISABILITY/"PRO-@ NA" OR OTHER EAT|NG D|SORDER/F33DERISM/ANY OTHER "BIGOTRY" KINKS OF ANY KIND. I WILL REPORT YOU IF YOU INTERACT WITH THIS BLOG.
• cishets (if you don't know what cisgender means, this means you.) straight trans people ily and you can interact if you want but know i am a lesbian and my posts are exclusively about lesbian/sapphic sex
•h*rry p*tter fans of any degree whatsoever. AGAIN, YOU WILL BE REPORTED. FUCK OFF AND GROW A SPINE
•antiblack (anti-BLM, talk over Black people about antiblack racism, are nonblack and are aware of and choose to use AAVE, etc) or otherwise racist (talk over bipoc about racism, fetishize Black and brown people, etc), antisemitic, or islamophobic (think these religions are "the same as chr*stianity," oppress women, etc)
•transmisogynists (if u think "trans@ndrophobia" is real, use the t slur(s) or fb slur or s*ssy if ur not transfem, exclude trans women and/or nonbinary transfem sapphics from lesbian spaces, if u fetishize transfems and assume they're all dom tops, etc
•if you make or reblog posts about how lesbians and trans women should be having sex with gay men. what the fuck is wrong with you
•transphobes (THIS INCLUDES TRANSM*DS), biphobes, panphobes (if you're anti-pansexual, this means you), aphobes (this includes aspec exclusionists), fatphobes (this includes if you have any weight loss content on your blog), "radinclus," "pro-shipp3r"/"añti-antï", the like
•if you tell queer people not to identify as queer OR if you use the word to describe lgbt+ people who are uncomfortable with/triggered by it
•post lots of very heavy kink content such as b/ oodplay, kn/feplay, g/nplay, k/dnapping, hard cnc including anything using the word r*pe, etc, or post s*lf h*rm related content, including psychological, OR if you reblog stolen/uncredited porn (this includes from deleted accounts)
men dnf
more about this underneath (read it if ur gonna message me!) but please don't dm me with a sexual opener or start with explicit asks, i'm happy to hear u enjoy my writing (as long as you're sapphic and don't fit my dni. y'all leave me alone) and especially if it helps you feel good about yourself but i'm not comfortable w my first interactions w people being sexual
BYF and about under the cut
BYF
some stuff i'm into that you might find here:
•butch/femme dynamics
•breeding (no pregnancy beyond the "getting pregnant" part)
•soft dom/sub dynamics
•consensual, previously negotiated somnophilia (will tag)
•consensual, previously negotiated free use (will tag)
•sub top/dom bottom dynamics (especially fem/femme sub top and a butch or masc dom)
•terato (especially werewolves)
i'm happy to tag any kinks/content anyone needs tagged, so feel free to ask! if you are vehemently opposed to any of those kinks, you probably shouldn't follow me or reblog my stuff!
men dnf, more info below on transmasc interaction below
hi, i'm z!
i'm a t4t disabled transmasc butch dom top-leaning verse, i'm newer to exploring bottoming so this blog might lean more towards posts expressing that.
i am very happily monogamous with my wonderful femme, and they of course know about and support this account. we have slightly more relaxed boundaries than many monogamous couples, and i might engage in some horny interaction in notes/asks/dms, but i'm not looking for a sexual or romantic relationship. please don't dm me with a sexual opener, but anyone who wants to make friends is welcome, and if we vibe well i might be interested in some sexual interaction via dm. i won't engage with you sexually if you're younger than 20/21 or much older than 30, or if you aren't already comfortable with or have no experience with being sexual with someone who you are not going to have a serious relationship with. also, please don't message me asking for advice on heavy topics or venting heavily unless we're friends/close mutuals and especially if we've never talked before, remember that i'm a stranger online and i don't know anything about you, nor do you know me personally! if you're okay with casual sexual connection, i'm happy to see cock/pussy/boob pics FROM SAPPHICS (trans or nonbinary specifically) IF you ask first!
i am a lesbian and i will obviously not engage sexually or romantically with men or men aligned people; that said, i may occasionally like or rb content written by men, including trans men who are comfortable with lesbian interaction, bc i am transmasculine and relate to masculine sexuality (and there really isn't a lot of transmasculine butch content out there, but if people have it, please send it to me!). i will never engage with blogs of transmascs uncomfortable with lesbian interaction and i am always happy to delete a rb if it makes you uncomfortable, so please don't hesitate to ask. know that if you are a man including trans men, or man aligned person and i rb one of your posts it is because i am relating to you, not attracted to you, and i fully respect your gender as a fellow trans person. men dnf, but if you are transmasculine and relate to one of my posts that pops up on your dash it's okay to interact with that (like/rb).
transfems and femmes, you are wonderful, please interact with me. i am looking at you with heart eyes. fellow butches, i love you too, i'm generally butch4femme/butch4fem but i love my butch siblings and am always happy to make butch friends. there is definitely the occasional butch that makes me go awooga
if u read this far, here's a kiss 😘
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ticklepinions · 8 months
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I think there's many problems in the community. But I feel like 2 in particular are merging quite a bit. So before I begin, this is in no means supporting or condoning the negative actions of others, I'm just thinking out loud basically, trying to understand why it's a problem and what not. The "explains but doesn't excuse route" to help me process things. My heart goes out to everyone who has been a victim of gro*ming.
So I've had a discussion about certain words being thrown around a lot. Words that are used as an insult, a word that triggers people immediately and follows with loads of hate comments and the classic kys.
While there is most certainly predators and p*dos in the community. I think there's a secret third option that doesn't really get talked about a lot- if at all. And that's "well intentioned adults". Adults who got the spirit! But execute in very questionable ways compared to people who are more, for lack of a better word, mature in their experiences.
I think I was one of them to an extent, but had some incidents that made me have to make decisions that would have been difficult in the past with my previous thinking (will explain later). Personally, my blog was open to all. And I hear the sfw doesn't mean safe for minors which is so true. But I still let minors follow my blog and that was a choice I own up to. Up until a couple months ago I was somewhat ok with it. Until things started happening that made me ✨uncomfortable✨. I got 13 year olds following me, minors trying to initiate tickle talk in asks/dms, trying to befriend me in ways that were just not great lmfao (trying to comfort me if I made a vent post, or in turn trauma dumping in the DMs). And this led to a LOT of reflection. I didn't want to have this responsibility so to speak, of taking care of children, who I have no previous relationship (/p) with in an online setting. So I changed my blog to a dnf. That's just me tho, I curated my internet experience to suit me after realizing that what I was doing or rather passively allowing before, made me uncomfortable. I didn't engage in the conversations that were initiated, it made me queasy lmfao.
But for *other* people. This feeling doesn't occur. You can have the extreme of being so delusional and enraptured in your own personal gains/pleasure as a p*do. Or... Be the self appointed teacher, parental figure etc. Which is a lot like gr*oming (actually it is a sign of gr*oming). It's such a complex issue in terms of the way some adults could have a genuine desire to help and not harm/manipulate but there's this disconnect where the adult doesn't recognize the harms they're causing unintentionally.
There are adults who don't mind being the educator because that's what they needed when they were a child. And I get it! They want to help. But! We've seen what can happen. And I think the reason some people are hesitant with the whole it "DEPENDS on the context" is that you're taking away their ability to *help*. But they don't realize by shutting down those conversations *is* helping. There are very few circumstances where a 30 year old should be speaking to a 16 year old about sexual topics. And in an online context, even fewer. There are SO many resources online that people can use to educate themselves, you do not have to be the sole educator for those slipping into your DMs.
From experience, minors are very impressionable and still have a lot to learn when it comes to boundaries. There was this time one of my friends sent an ask teasing me and then I got flooded by people sending in their own teases. Minors unintentionally (giving the benefit of the doubt) making me extremely uncomfortable trying to befriend me through "innocent" tickle talk. There are other instances of minors as I mentioned before trying to comfort me when I'm venting. Very thoughtful of them for reaching out and all but also they're endangering themselves. There are adults who would easily respond to them and because the adult themselves are emotionally not stable in that moment, may explain their worries to someone they realllyyyy shouldn't be sharing experiences with, sexual or not. The adult has the responsibility in this situation, as they hold the most power in the dynamic. So yeah I'm gonna put the blame on the minors. Gonna hold the adults accountable. Because it's absolutely not okay.
I always say while intentions are cool and all it doesn't really matter much. The impact, and what your actions will be after the fact, holds much more weight.
It's so frustrating to see the same old arguments pop up in this particular community. And I've said it once before, at our core, seeing the recent discourse and posts from both parties I can see the want to keep minors safe. However, there are some people who don't see how their perceived innocent actions are actually harmful in the long run. Not only for minors but yourself as well. You deserve to have a community your age as a healthy support system. What's not okay is the waters being muddied under the pretense of helping other people. You can't fix people, and it's really not your job to do so as hard a pill that is to swallow.
I'm losing my train of thought so...
TL;DR. While there are p*dos, there are also adults who mean well but go about it in very wrong/harmful ways, and I hope that eventually (sooner rather than later) they realize the harms they caused and work towards bettering themselves.
I also want to recognize the extreme privilege I have talking about sensitive topics I don't have personal experiences of so if I spoke out of place or said something incorrect please feel free to correct me (if you have the capacity to do so). Thanks for reading.
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arumbleinthedark · 5 months
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I'm curious
What if I told you that with just a simple audio file of a very, very quiet voice hidden behind nature sounds, and a little bit of roleplay, you could temporarily trick your tummy into believing it's being stuffed/inflated or empty?
Subliminals are audio files that are usually music or nature sounds with a voice at a very low volume playing behind it. Many people use them for various reasons, such as losing weight, relieving stress and anxiety, or to attract things like money, romance, or beauty. Usually, the listener will play their desired subliminal on a loop while they sleep.
However, others use it as a sort of meditation or hypnosis in order to temporarily "transform" into whatever they desire, usually for fetish or kink reasons. Specifically, though, I'm talking about kinks related to belly stuffing, belly inflation, and hunger.
The idea is that you listen to these while your consious mind is occupied, like reading, drawing, playing video games, and so on. The voice is to be heard by your subconsious mind, which will tell your brain and body to produce the results of the subliminal.
It's not magic, not truly, someone who is looking for romance may get results that make them more confident in order to flirt. Someone who is looking to lose weight may get results that make them motivated to exercise or eat healthier. Though, with belly related subliminals, I have gotten physical results, of course it is only temporary. It all boils down to what those funky juices in your brain are told to do, I guess you could call it a placebo effect, but that's kind of the entire point.
So, knowing all of that...
EDIT: Thank your for voting! If you're interested in what this was all about, please read this post, thanks!!!
ADULT BLOG, 18+ INTERACTION ONLY, DNI/DNF MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS, PLEASE READ MY PINNED POST
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