#no its not enough for them to make us sad

[noodlesarecheese]

So Watcher is launching a Dropout (it's not called Dropout but they're clearly using the same template format platform thing idk what it's called, and the same pricing structure), and the reaction so far has been wildly different than what I remember from Dropout's launch. I was curious about why that was or if I was just misremembering the Dropout launch, so I went back to the Dropout launch video to compare them and I think I can see where some of the difference is coming from.

If you want to make the comparison yourself: Watcher's Video, Dropout's Video.

I wanna clarify first though that this isn't a knock against Watcher or the fans who are reacting one way or another or anything like that, I genuinely am just fascinated with how different the reactions are to what seems to be the same business decision. This also isn't a 'wow watcher sucks and dropout is so much better' I'm just using them for comparison because they did the same thing with different results. ALSO this isn't about the business decision itself, just the presentation! Disclaimers out of the way, here's the analysis.

Title and Thumbnail So the Watcher.tv announcement video is titled "Goodbye Youtube" and the thumbnail is Ryan, Shane, and Steven sitting on a couch looking serious, with a dark background. That really makes it seem like they're quitting (which, ok, they are quitting youtube but not quitting quitting). Viewers are already primed to be upset, and it's easier to go from upset to angry than upset to excited, curious, or neutral.

Compare to the dropout announcement video: "How the Internet is Ruining Comedy" - inline with other collegehumor video titles, might make you curious. Thumbnail - Big News! with Sam smiling and a bright background. We know its big news, but he looks happy, and the exclamation point let's us know they want us to be excited. Viewers are primed to be curious and excited.

Tone The Watcher announcement has 2 main tones. The first half is very sentimental, almost sad or wistful at times, and while there are parts that veer into pride at achievements, it's mostly bittersweet and sentimental. The second half is a bit more uplifting, but still quite serious. It reminded me of a tech announcement, like when they introduce the new iphone or something like that. Very professional, sleek, and serious, which isn't automatically a bad thing! But I do think that's not the vibe a decently-sized chunk of the audience expected or wanted. Many people watch Watcher for the cast's dynamic with each other, humor, and the more relaxed/conversational/friendly feel that most of the series have.

Compare to dropout - excited and comedic tone. Still professional, but also fits the expectations of the viewers. People watch collegehumor for the humor (it was in the name, after all). They also poke a bit of fun at themselves, which lightens the mood, shows self-awareness, and alleviates some of the bad feelings about paywalling.

Focus The Watcher announcement focuses a lot on the creative journey of the cast and company, as well as how this move will benefit them. Which isn't a bad thing, that's actually quite interesting! The problem here, I think, is actually more about what isn't here - a solid explanation of how this will also benefit the viewers and why the viewers should be excited. There's a brief description of one new show, and the promise that existing shows will get an upgrade, but we weren't given many specific details about how they'll be improved, and there's only one new show to tempt us into subscribing. Some people will be excited for that, some people won't, and some people will be excited but not enough to subscribe. Having 2 or 3 series (even if it's 1 fleshed out plus a few teasers of what's in production or what is being planned) plus some more details about how existing shows will be improved would've helped. Without that, it really does seem like it'll just be the same stuff viewers were getting for free, but now paywalled, rather than new and exciting stuff. That makes a big difference. I think with the fans not getting as much focus, this also led to some (accidental, I hope) hurt feelings. Based on what I've seen from fan reactions, all the talk about hitting the peak of what they can do on youtube and wanting more, translated for many people to 'youtube isn't enough' which became 'you (the current viewers) aren't enough.' Which I don't think was their intent! But I also don't think fans are wrong for feeling hurt by that.

Compare to dropout: They clearly explain how the move will benefit fans, and reassure viewers that existing content will stay where it is, and only new content will be behind the paywall. (Watcher clarified this too, but in a comment. It's not in the video itself, which is a huge problem.) They include clips of several new (at the time) series that would be premiering on dropout, including things that specifically could not be made on youtube (due to weed, violence, and sexual humor), so the reason for the shift is clear to the audience.

Advertisers Both videos contain the sentiment that being monetarily successful on youtube means working to appease the advertisers, and that over time what the advertisers want and what the creators want drifts further and further apart, putting strain on the creators.

However, I think the message gets lost a bit in the Watcher vid. Instead, it leaves viewers with the idea that the main problem is just ads are annoying instead of advertisers putting constraints on content. I'm not even sure what the specific constraints are for watcher, because they didn't give any examples. And the focus on ads being annoying leaves viewers frustrated because people typically either don't mind ads or they already have an ad blocker.

Timing and Size Okay, this isn't exactly about presentation, but it is still a factor that impacts perception so I'm tackling it. And I'm actually going to do dropout first. CollegeHumor launched dropout in September 2018. Pre-pandemic, but also pre-Sam Reich as CEO. The company was still owned by IAC. It was a Company, and while it wasn't huge it wasn't tiny either. So launching dropout was a Company Decision, a Business Strategy. Some people were upset about, but it wasn't a personal betrayal (generally, anyways). If I remember correctly, this was also not a high point for the company. They kinda needed dropout to do well to keep things running smoothly (which is why they shut it down and sold it to Sam just 1 1/2ish years later), so the sudden shift made sense.

Watcher Entertainment is a company, but it doesn't feel like one. Ryan, Shane, and Steven own and operate things, but they're also the faces, and they're youtubers. Which makes every business decision they make feel more personal to viewers, especially those who have been watching for a long time. They've also seemingly been doing well on youtube, which makes it more difficult for viewers to understand why the sudden change is happening now. They do talk a bit about it, about the company expanding and wanting to do things that advertisers don't like (which I've already covered). However, mostly the choice to start a streaming platform is framed as 'the next big step' without much clarification on why it's the next big step. Plus, it's post-pandemic, and a lot of people are still struggling financially with the ripple effects of that. Yes, $6 isn't a wild amount of money, but there have been some months where $5 absolutely meant the difference between paying all my bills or not, and I know I'm not the only one. This, coupled with a lack of clarity about why exactly they're doing this, leads to fans feeling hurt, betrayed, bitter, and frustrated.

Now, presentation and framing isn't everything. No matter how perfect your announcement is, some people are still going to be upset. It's a big change, of course people will be upset! But I do think a more careful presentation would've alleviated some of the hurt and anger that fans are feeling. While I do think a lot of the reaction we're seeing is due to the decision, I think (based on what I've seen) that some of it is also based on the poor communication in the video itself, and that could've been avoided!

So I'm gonna get a little speculative and describe what I would've done. In this hypothetical, they've decided to launch the streaming service and brought me on just for the announcement.

Firstly, switch the title out. If they're married to Goodbye Youtube then add a (and hello...?) after so it's at least obvious they aren't fully quitting. The dark color scheme of the thumbnail fits their regular vibe, but they want everyone to be excited so they should look excited. Next, let's lighten the tone up. Being proud of what they've done so far is great, but we don't need the sentimental music and bittersweetness. Remember, the goal is to get viewers excited about what come's next - so let's focus on what actually comes next! Talk about specific show plans and mention why they wouldn't work on youtube. Then, take some time to reassure the fans. Predict a few likely worries and address them in the video. Acknowledge that it's a big change, that it will take time to get used to, and that not everyone will be onboard, and let the fans know that it's ok if they aren't onboard.

Like I said, this wouldn't fix everything. There are a few differences in between dropout and watcher that don't have anything to do with presentation. Dropout launched with primarily new shows rather than new seasons of existing shows, and they continued uploading to youtube relatively regularly in addition to the content behind the paywall, which I do think went a long way to keeping fans happy. At this point it's unclear if watcher will do either of those or not. But, while I don't think it would fix everything, I do think improved communication in the announcement would've helped.

#watcher #feel free to share your own thoughts but please be nice #I just like communication ok! And I really enjoyed the 1 marketing class I took in college #and it's pretty rare that you get such a clear comparison between 2 unrelated companies!

[adobe-outdesign]

For pokemon reviews, maybe the spidops or lokix lines?

(Already did the Nymble line here, but as for Tarountula:)

Tarountula is a really good Pokemon, both in terms of concept and execution. A spider that covers its abdomen with silk in a manner representative of a yarn ball works perfectly, and the design gets the point across immediately. This ball protectors them from their natural predators, which is a nice touch. Oddly enough, the yarn ball is actually removable, revealing a small structure at the end of its body that ties it more into its evo.

Visually, Tarountula's stylized eyes and almost sad-looking pupils make it extremely cute, which is compounded by its stylized pedipalps and simplistic legs (so simple it actually has eight of them, a rarity in Pokemon designs). White was an obvious choice for the silk, but this is accented by some green spots on the legs and a complimentary yellow color. Good stuff all around.

You'd expect something as round as Tarountula to evolve into an even rounder, larger spider, but it instead goes into a completely different direction by becoming an ogre spider, well known for looking like you took a jpg of a normal spider and stretched it out lengthwise. Ironically, some of Spidop's features that you would probably assume are inventions by GameFreak are actually just what ogre spiders are like, such as the paired limbs and spinning net traps to catch prey in.

While it might seem like it's lost the ball of yarn theme, it's actually just expanded on it by looking like a spool of thread. The resemblance between the two is more obvious without Tarountula's web ball, but some features remain the same, such as the green-tipped limbs, stylized pedipalps, and four pairs of eyes that wrap around the head. The black color of the eyes specifically resemble an ogre spider's comically large eyes, which are so adapted for night vision that they get destroyed by the sun each day and heal again by night. No, I am not making that part up.

In addition, Spidops also has a special ops kind of thing going for it, with a kind of bullet-proof vest on its chest, goggles, and a stealth-based operatus morandi. It would almost be too much, but it's subtle enough in the design that it thankfully doesn't feel too busy.

My only issues with Spidops are that the limbs feel weirdly flat at the ends, considering it uses them to hold web and snag prey—it might've been nice if they tapered into points, at least with the front ones. I also feel like the brown-on-green palette is muddied and bit low-contrast. Even just a lighter shade of brown/tan would've helped with this while still keeping it camouflaged.

So overall, these are some really good spiders. The sewing theme is integrated into both in two unique ways, they have distinct body types, and Spidops keeps all the best attributes of the insect its based off of and adds an extra special ops theme for good measure. Tarountula also has a bangin' shiny, which doesn't hurt anything either.

#tarountula #spidops #pokemon #pokemon reviews

[feroluce]

Given that Belobog is so full of snow, I'm kinda sad we never get to see any snowmen anywhere. Like that would have made for such a cute bg decoration!

And I think it would be especially funny for Sampo to make them, not out of pure, innocent whimsy and joy, but like specifically to be a menace smzhnsjd

Like Gepard keeps finding little snowmen out around the frontlines. And normally he would just turn a blind eye to this like he does with other things (like the shitty amateur distillery no one thinks he knows about); war sucks, their own damn leader is trying to kill them and Gepard is treading water just trying to keep Cocolia from using his guards as cannon fodder. If his soldiers want to make some snowmen in their downtime, then they should be allowed that. God knows they've earned it.

BUT SOMEONE IS MAKING SNOWMEN THAT LOOK LIKE HIM, DAMMIT!!!

Gepard keeps finding them down the back alleys and more hidden parts of the frontlines! And they all have the same grumpy little face, with blue-painted rocks for eyes and sometimes even gold-colored bullet casings for hair! And he knows who it is the second he finds another little blue haired, green eyed snowman next to it! Fuckin' Koski is sneaking in here, and easily enough that he has the time to taunt him!

Gepard once found a little Snow Geppie with angry eyebrows and red roses stuck in its blushing cheeks that was handcuffed to a weapons rack, which was when he realized someone had pickpocketed his handcuffs. He punches the head clean off the little Snow Sampo nearby, only to discover that it is also holding his wallet, minus all the shield he'd had in it that morning. Gepard kicks it for good measure.

One time he found a little Snow Sampo offering roses to a little Snow Geppie, and he quickly knocked those over too before anyone else could see them or his red face. He swears he can feel Sampo snickering and mocking him nearby.

Sometimes, Gepard finds little Snow Sampos with tiny sacks thrown over their shoulders, all filled with items that are SUPPOSED to be in the depths of the guarded Silvermane storehouses. Sampo technically isn't even stealing anything, he's just showing Gepard that he could if he wanted to, and poor Gepard is going to pop an aneurysm.

Pela: Good morning, Captain. Have you been outside of your tent yet?

Gepard: No. ....Why.

Pela: No reason. Say, have you heard of any break ins recently?

Gepard: No, why.

And Pela holds open the tent flap and there's a ton of tiny little Silvermane Guards snowmen in tight neat rows, all with their little stick arms up in salute, and each one with an actual, stolen official helmet-mask.

Pela: You run a real tight ship out here, huh.

Gepard: (looooong weary muffled sigh as he drags a hand down his face)

#gepo #sampard #hsr gepard #hsr sampo #sampo koski #gepard landau #pelageya sergeyevna #hsr #honkai star rail #I love Sampo being petty as shit just to rile Geppie up fkdsajflasdj #like he is absolutely watching from somewhere hidden nearby and snickering to himself #of a related note I think Caelus and March 7th should be given those little plastic mold thingies that make rubber ducky-shapes in the snow #they go through the restricted zone and just leave them in random places #Gepard trying to conduct serious military business and up on the wall behind him are a row of rubber duckies judging the Guards fjklasjfkld

[theweedisasterxoxo]

…Beneath Waves of Sorrow…

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader

Warnings/Content: description of mental illness-related struggles, mention of violence against Infected, pet-names (“darlin’”, “baby doll”, “babygirl”), reader has hair, brief innuendo, videogame Joel but HBO Joel could be subbed in if you prefer! stay kind to your mind <3

Word count: 1058

—

In life there have been times where you’ve felt like you’re drowning. As if somebody has so carelessly tossed you beneath the waves of anguish, grief, and fear that life provided. In these moments, try as you might, you cannot distinguish up from down, left from right, air from water, and you’ll breathe in only to choke while your hands scramble in a frantic dance of an attempt to find purchase on something to stop you going under. Each time your mind is clouded by this fear - or what you assume is fear - you accept the possibility that you might not make it out this time. That those malicious monsters your mind had created will take you as their own, chewing you down until they spit out your bones.

Sometimes you find yourself wishing that those mental monsters could manifest themselves physically for once so you can give them the same treatment that you would to a runner or a clicker — a bullet between the eyes. Or more accurately, you’d fire off as many shots as possible at them and hope for the best. After all, there was a reason that your name wasn’t in with the select group who aided Jackson by patrolling its outskirts and perimeters to keep the community safe. You’d never been much good with a weapon, only ever having been skilled with a kitchen knife but it wouldn’t benefit anybody if you turned up to a Patrol and showed some runners you could do a damn fine job of cutting an onion.

Perhaps that’s why you opt to stay under your covers today, utterly pinned down by the weight of your own thoughts until they sucked you dry of motivation. The bright morning sunlight filters through the gaps in your curtains and a breeze so cold you’d think Jack Frost was paying you a visit passes over you, but you just can’t move. It’s as if an almost-tangible sadness has you in its grasp and you can’t find the strength to fight it off. So, with a heavy exhale you close your eyes and use more energy that you’d think strictly necessary to push a self-pitying thought to the back of your mind — Why do I have to feel like this? It isn’t fair — and time passed. How much of it does, you can’t tell, but you can hear the chitchat and bustle of people around Jackson moving around and getting on with their lives. It makes you wonder why you can’t just do the same.

Eventually, you’re broken out of your reverie by the sound of your bedroom door creaking open and the smell of freshly-ground (or as close to freshly-ground as one can come by in a literal apocalypse) coffee wafts through the air. You open your eyes and turn your head to see Joel just about making it through the doorway, a mug in each of his hands, and a gentle sleep-muddled smile tugging at his lips. It relieves you to admit to yourself that the sight of him does send a wave of brightness through you, pushing you above your waves of sorrow, despite it not totally eliminating the sadness from within.

His greying hair is remarkably messy, clearly not having had the time to comb through it, and his pyjama bottoms sit low enough that his softened belly peeks over the waistband. The smattering of hair over his chest that leads down to his happy trail catches the soft morning light and it sets alive the butterflies in your stomach, fluttering madly at the sight of it. You think back to last night, to the time the both of you definitely should have been sleeping when you’d been given the opportunity to mark it with kisses and mild nibbles as he made such intriguing sounds practically begging you to continue, his hand running through your hair while he tried not to give in completely.

When you’re more aware of the dull hum of his voice in the present you snap back into reality to catch the tail-end of what he was saying. He’s shaking his head but a smile graces his lips. “…How you do it, darlin’.”

“Huh?”

“I said,” he begins in that ever-so sweet Southern drawl of his as he hands you your mug. You take a sip not long after, relishing the too-sweet taste on your tongue. He continues, “I don’t know how you manage to stomach your coffee with that much sugar in it.”

You shrug and take another sip before speaking. “Just special, I s’pose.”

Joel takes a seat next to you and the mattress dips under his weight. It’s comforting that you have someone to share your nights and mornings with who can change how your mattress feels without you paying much thought to it. He sets his own mug on the bedside table before he presses a gentle kiss to the tip of your nose, carefully taking your face in his hands while he brings his forehead to rest against yours. The exhales slowly and gently rubs one of his thumbs back and forth over your left cheek. “I know you’re struggling again.”

It’s not a question.

Your reply comes in the form of a timid nod, not quite able to say it out loud; saying it would mean that you were admitting it properly, that you were admitting the hold your feelings had over you, and you didn’t feel quite ready to do that yet. Instead, you stay silent and bring your left hand to rest atop Joel’s in a tender moment of understanding between the two of you. You know he won’t push you for anything — he never has.

“I’ve got you, baby doll,” He murmurs quietly and manoeuvres himself momentarily out of your hold so he can set your mug next to his before pulling you to lie down with him. You lean your head on his chest and listen to the steady bum-bum-bum-bum of his heart. “I’ve got you.”

You know he does. Ever the attentive lover, he saves you before you go under. One day, you’d like to save yourself; you wonder if you even can.

“I love you,” you tell him. It’s so quiet you’re unsure if he’s heard it.

He hums appreciatively, and now you know he’s heard it. “I love you too, babygirl.”

—

whooo! that was supposed to be a longer piece but i wasn’t feeling up for it at all.

my lovely moots!:

@strang3lov3 @endlessthxxghts @beefrobeefcal @janaispunk

#fanfic #joel miller #oneshot #tlou

[daily-hanamura]

#persona 4 #p4 #persona 4 golden #p4g #hanamura yosuke #souyo #this scene revealed so much of their relationship in one go #yosuke has already long been established as yu's confidant at this point but this moment really drove it home! #yosuke anticipates each of yu's behaviour #but even though he disagrees with it he doesn't judge yu for it #even going so far as to help yu hide it from the rest of the team #its debatable whether thats necessarily a good thing #but it demonstrates yosuke's unwavering loyalty to yu while also making clear his disappointment #and of course yosuke has much to feel sad and disappointment over - one the one hand it felt like yu didnt trust him/them enough #he phrased it as a matter of “you should trust us more” as opposed to “you should trust ME more” because talking about trust in the singula #would hit too close to home and risk making too many demands of yu. demands that yosuke didnt feel he was allowed to make #afterall why would yu trust him but not the others? but the team is made up of other more reliable people than he was #and bringing up the team gives yosuke a defensive cover #so as usual it's part of yosuke's self doubt creeping in #but theres also honesty here - yosuke wasnt here to accost him or be angry at him; he really showed up just to make sure that yu was safe #and once hes confirmed it yosuke falls back to his usual habits of cracking a joke to lighten the mood #to end the conversation on a joke feels like its as much a service for yu as it is for himself #we know yosuke tends to joke to make the people around him feel better and i think in this instance he was also trying to cheer yu up #whether it was to make up for yosuke approaching him or to alleviate any guilt yu might feel #or even to manage whatever it was that adachi might have said to yu (which yosuke undoubtedly picked up on) #yosuke doesn't let his disagreement with yu get in the way of supporting his partner #to some extent i also wonder if this loyalty was also coloured by their previous interaction with namatame and Yosuke's anger #it's been less than a week since that incident after all and i think theres this contradiction for yosuke #and i think there was probably a contradiction in Yosuke's heart in that moment: he doesn't trust himself to make good judgements #but as much as he'd rather take yu's lead in this instance he also feels like his leader was wrong here

[swordsonnet]

sorry but saying that the accessibility needs of mentally disabled people are just preferences or about "comfort" is blatantly incorrect. if i can't enter a building because the bright lights and loud noises would send me into a meltdown, then i can't enter the building, and that's not less important than me not being able to enter a building because it's not wheelchair accessible. if you genuinely think that mentally disabled people aren't really struggling, and that it's okay to mock their very real concerns, then that just shows that you've been refusing to listen to their experiences. do better or shut the fuck up.

#yeah yeah i know i said i wouldn't post about this stupid fucking 'discourse' anymore #but i keep seeing takes that make my blood boil #physical and mental disabilities are two sides of the same coin! yes there are differences but also a lot of commonalities #but nooooo expecting people to have even an ounce of fucking compassion for those who dont share their exact lived experience #is too much to ask for i guess #i've said this many times before but gatekeeping and infighting will get us nowhere #throwing your fellow disabled people under the bus won't help you #i get people's anger - i have a lot of anger too as someone who is housebound with a physical disability #but other disabled people arent your enemy #and taking your anger out on them is just a dick move #especially if you do so using the same ableist 'its all in your head' rhetoric #that mentally disabled people have had to put up with since forever #disclaimer: obviously not all physically disabled people act like that. from what i can tell its just a small (but very vocal) minority #but it's pervasive enough to make me wary of online spaces for physical disabilities #which is kinda sad seeing as i have a physical disability myself and would love to connect with others #but i'm not super keen on being told that my autism (which has significantly impacted me my whole life) doesn't matter

[livingdeadvamp]

Idk why everyone is mad at op they kinda have a point?? They never said they vented 24/7 without asking for permission, just that they don't wanna hold back problems for the sake of making others happy. Like if you can't do that then that's fine but it doesn't make them a bad person, it just means you're not compatible as friends

#tbh if you refuse to EVER hear a friend's problem then you're just as bad as people who do vent constantly without permission #maybe its just me but how can you ever become truly close to someone if you only wanna see them when theyre good and happy #like. people are complex. theyre good and bad. you cant just turn a blind eye to the sides of people you dont like #i could go on about like toxic self care and how its kinda making people think ''anything that makes me uncomfortable is bad'' #but ive probably said enough lmao #anyway. theres a difference between venting and using someone as a therapist #and its kinda sad to see how many people apparently DONT think that #rant over!

[sonic-adventure-3]

“he roller skates!” “they’re air shoes.” is designed to kill me specifically because firstly that’s so fucking funny and the presentation and the line delivery is fucking amazing and also secondly shadow’s shoes are originally based on inline skates NOT roller skates (well technically inlines are a kind of roller skate but in a broader context “roller skates” are almost exclusively used to refer to quad skates. inlines have their wheels in a line, quads are quadragled) and his animation is 100% based on quad skating in prime BUT SHADOW IS AN INLINE SKATER ORIGINALLY HIS SHOES ARE BASED ON INLINE SKATES SA2 WOULD NOT EXIST WITHOUT INLINE SKATING I CARE IMMENSELY ABOUT THIS

#NOT EVEN JOKING ABOUT THE LAST BIT #THE GRINDING MECHANIC OF SA2 AND SOAP SHOES ARE BASED ON INLINE SKATES #PLUS ​THE CULTURAL CONTEXT OF THE TIME OF ITS DEVELOPMENT WOULDVE JUST BEEN CATCHING THE TAIL END OF THE ERA OF AGGRESSIVE INLINE SKATES #skateboarding but inline skating as well are crucial components to what sonic’s very personality and the tone/aesthetic of sonic adventure #also inline skating way way faster than quad skating #genuinely genuinely i’m not mad i’m not mad i’m not mad #prime is great this bit is great the animation of prime and shadow in prime is great shadow is great #i’m not even angry!! it’s such a good bit!!! it’s animated well! roller skates are more well known today!!! #BUT HAVE THEY CONSIDERED THAT I CARE IMMENSELY ABOUT SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG AND INLINE SKATES AND SHADOW ON INLINE SKATES?!? NO!!! #his animation in sa2 and heroes and shth is based on inline skating also #his animation in 06 is quad based but it also sucks complete ass so it doesn’t exist to me #most other skating animations of his are mid and i haven’t analyzed them enough to tell #theres a large grace area i give cause i don’t expect animations to be 100% accurate to real movements #plus the air shoes while based on inlines are their own thing and i think it’s nice when they embrace that #BUT FUCK QUAD SKATES #i don’t hate quad skates inlines are just cooler by an order of magnitude to me and them being the default makes me sad :( #rambles #prime #action sport posting #<- yeah. thats a tag. it will be used more in the future

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i was looking through old photos today. they where from wjen i was like 1 and it made me so sad #bc my mum would have been like only a year or 2 older then i am now and she looked so young #and now she has an abdomen full of tumors and blistered hands and feet. theyre prob gonna hsve to remove her bladder #but shes still very pragmatic abt it. but she grew up in a house where no one really cared about her feelings so she made them small #and now her mother calls and doesn't ask how her grandkids are doing and doesn't ask how her daughter is doing. im cursed with terrible #grandparents on both sides but i resent my mothers mother worse. though my dad said i probably wouldnt have survived his upbringing #and hes right. my nana has like zero empathy and cant cook for shit. idk how my parents r so normal but the fact i had a good upbringing is #probably the only reason im still here. and thats the other thing that made me sad abt the old pics. just looking at this little baby with a #fucked up head and thinking: in 25 years that kid is gonna b so broken down their not gonns kno what to do or how to fix it. idk whats wrong #with me. ive always been some stage of miserable but i used to b able to get things done. and now i cant seem to force functionality #and it sucks. bc im home now and i still feel like im cringing around this open wound in my chest. but whatever #as of today ive started taking ab1lify. hopefully it helps in the long term but in the short term it triggers my 0cd. which is not fun #its so frustrating. whatever. i also found out my eyes used to not work together. not enough to have a lazy eye but it was hard for me to #read and apparently my eyes were tracking at like double the speed of a normal person. wtf is wrong with my brain? also also my mum was like #yea i never would have guessed bip0lar but we thought it was something. autism i could see 100% but yea didnt see that coming. ao i guess #i brehave like a bit of an oddball. ans my nana would bother my dad to try to make me participate in church and my dad was like no. she #clearly don't wanna b here lol. ay. they did the best they could which i appreciate #unrelated

[lesbiangiratina]

Invested in a display case for my ggx tcg box cuz testament is on 1 side of it therefor it is a testament object so i want to put it with my testament stuff. But i dont want it to like fucking turn to dust. The reload boxes i have are on their own idgaf (as much) (i will still store them somewhere safe) (eventually)

#just in general the testament zone needs an elevated spot. i like elevation in my shelves. #i should also get curtains to stop the sun from damaging my shit (HAPPENED TO A BOX I LIKE. SAD) #but man idk how to put up curtains. who do you think i am. #i also UM bought more printer paper. and some lamination sheets. i still want to make testament paper doll. #but we have no facking paper i used 1 i Found to run ink tests. magenta is working better after 4 cleanings. sigh #also i could print out testament cards and put those on my wall. i dont have enough dupes to do that with many cards #should also do that for my binder… #im committed to keeping a binder with Every card and a separate testament binder. so um. im gonna need some extra testaments. its fine #UGH BUT ID HAVE TO EDIT THE TESTAMENT CARD SCANS TO DO THAT. AND IM SAVING THEM FOR LAST. AS INCENTIVE. GGGUHHH #whatever ill get to it. #okay. thank you for listening. i cant do anything of this Right Now and its bothering me so i have to talk about it. #the kat goes meow

[theskymahtin]

yo WHY did I never notice that hennessy HAS A FISH SCALE TATTOO ? aka a tattoo probably very similar to the one she later gives ronan.......... i need a moment

[Image ID: photograph of a paragraph from pg 70 of Call Down the Hawk.

Transcript: She had changed since she'd left in the car. Her kinky hair was now pulled up in a ragged black topknot. She wore tinted glasses, a rabbit fur coat, a lace bralette white against her dark skin, and leather leggings that exposed a fish-scale tattoo on her lower calf. More pastel tattoos covered her knuckles, which were also smeared with paint. He still couldn't tell how old she was. She could be twenty-five. She could be seventeen.]

#finally rereading tdt can you tell #ALSO i was going to make a post about this last nighg but instead i will go on about it here on the tags of an unrelated post #like a very organized individual #i forgot that adams friends at havard were all canonically flamboyantly gay and that fletcher called ronan hot #and i am DISTRAUGHT that we didn't get more of them #i want to know more about their dynamic i want adam to come clean to them and i want them to get to know ronan better #and also meet the others #imagine a world in which they got dragged into the drama...... #as if we didnt have enough characters to worry about i know #forever sad that we didnt get to see more of what adam was going through #although i know it's necessary for the narrative #maybe i should write more fanfictipn #the dreamer trilogy #call down the hawk #hennessy #mine #on the point of this post though . like . fuck i dont remember if its like laid out for us ehat the tattoo MEANS to hennessy or not #i dont have my copy of greywaren on me rn #im gonna go insane #why did hennessy get that tattoo on the first place? on a whim or is there some significance? does it have any bearing on her giving it to #ronan? #or at least a similar tattoo #going insane

[rohavon]

.

#venting in this blog as it has less than 100 followers but #it makes me so sad to see some corners of the tolkien fandom feel like #they have to resort to AI “art” to depict their characters #ive observed some used to pay for loads of commissions and now its all AI #i get that its free and that people would rather not draw if they feel they dont have the talent for it #its a chore for me too sometimes i get it!! #and then they post it on various art and fic sites and im like #shaking them by their shoulders pleading for them to stop #if you need to use it for help with character design when your hand isnt skilled enough to like #siiighhh i get that ok fine #but then just use it as a reference and try your hand at it #i complain sometimes when im doing art but it really is a thing of beauty and inner peace when you can make something with #your own hand #even if its bad to some peoples eyes! but then you gain the valuable skill of blocking out the haters

[snekdood]

anyways i think ive posted this before but the ADL and whatever "rational wiki" is (heard something negative abt it once idk what its about but) both have good index's on dogwhistles to look out for, of course for some things its hard to tell but take context clues and if they use a bunch of other dogwhistles into consideration if you suspect someone is alt right, also consider that some people are essentially taught this stuff w/o context of what it really means sometimes and might just use dogwhistles bc they dont know any better (thinking of minors here mostly). either way gauge for yourself if its safe enough to stick around to find out.

#dogwhistles #theres plenty of other websites i could link but i linked rational wiki specifically bc their index is bigger and includes more #niche internet dogwhistles than the adl one does. #that could also be because a lot of those niche internet dogwhistles are intentionally made with plausible deniability so the ADL #doesnt wanna list them lest they get accused of being paranoid or some shit. idk. #but i *will* say- some of these things isolated- like liking runes and pine trees.... i dont think is enough to work off of #(mostly speaking for myself on that last one bc i love pine trees and i used to like runes but never saw it in That way......) #and also some ppl are trying to reclaim pepe. esp since the guy who made it hated that neo nazis took him and did this to him #so ppl try to reclaim it. that also requires context to sleuth out if someones using it as a dogwhistle or not #in fact bc so many leftists were reclaiming pepe they decided to make a new one called a 'groyper' which is like. an obvious telltale sign #that person is a neo nazi if theyre using that one. #i also think its worth mentioning that theres a certain subsection of internet leftists who like to use these internet alt righters #terms to lure them in to truth and reality (see: vaush) it's like a meeting them at their level of understanding thing #it also shows them that you're not intimidated by their 'Secret Language' and can see it for what it is so if they try it on you #you can still counter them. so once again context matters. like if vaush is talking about someone 'hiding their power level' its him #acknowledging that thats a term they use in reference to hiding how deep in the rabbithole they are and making fun of them for that fact #bc theres something so inherently sad and funny about being that self aware that you're deranged that you gotta have a phrase you #use to hide it lmao. #not saying its great but. it seems to work at least to some degree in deconverting ppl from the alt right

[videogamelover99]

Actually really pissed that discourse around stereotyping and bad writing in media turned into "does this character have X,Y,Z traits? Is this character an admirable human being? Are they the good guy?" instead of promoting actual good writing and what that entails.

It's not about the presence of individual traits! It's about if the minority character is treated as a complex human being with believable motivations and who is looked at with an empathetic eye by the story!

If you personally don't like certain traits to be present in a character that has your identity, you have a right to do that, but it's not criticism, it's your opinion. You know what your dislike doesn't do? Make that character a stereotype! Because a stereotype isn't a character with traits commonly assigned to them, it's a character who isn't written as a fully fleshed human being save for those traits. The character isn't treated with dignity by the author because the author does not give them a character.

If they are fully fleshed out and complex with understandable motivations then? They aren't a stereotype. Because people like that exist in real life, and you viewing them as a stereotype says more about you than it does about them.

#its the hot take twitter nature of criticism nowadays #'X character has Y trait so problematic' is ppl using like 5% of their brain when they read the text #if the author wrote them well then theit job?? is done??? and they arent obligated to adhere to your preferences #part of this is the amount of bullshit said about vivziepop's stuff but also #i saw people try to claim catra is a bad character because shes an 'angry lesbian stereotype' #a) her sexuality isnt revealed in canon you just assumed #b) you forgot about all the 500 other things to have happened to her to make her angry #like yes sometimes we find characters falling into similar types and having the same identity and if 1 author does it 50 times #they arent being creative anymore theyre copy-pasting #but a well written character isnt copy pasted they feel original #if this blows up i might have a problem on my hands enough to delete this XD #writing #like why did ppl get pissed off about stranger things s4 and will byers #its not bc hes sad his crush has a gf thats such a universal experience tbh #its because he does things that make no sense #hes not gonna be unconditionally supportive of El and Mike no matter how much he knows they have a right to their happiness #hes a person with limits it would make sense for him to be resentful #it makes zero sense for him to further their relationship in the finale cause no person would do that! #it wasnt given enough justification in the writing and so its bad #this same scene would have worked in a different context if told by a better writer who treats will as a character on equal footing #with everyone else #wow i have a lot of opinions suddenly

[fourteenthz]

Every time I open my shakarian playlist I get more ill but also I need.... need more old sad songs... i need to collect them all.... where are they

#yeah my playlist is filled with Out of touch + Two of us + Mayonata no door + and stuff that sounds like that (night we met for exemp) #and i have to both have this feeling and make it made sense with shakarian which is hard bc they are not toxic just difficult. hard times. #which is kinda good bc old songs normally have that feel but like 90% of mitsik songs feel off for me in that sense #BUT I NEED THEM FOR THE VIBE... GOD.... can u tell I take playlists seriously? and they aren't even public??? #i saw that when I have like 3 mitski songs there but I try. also I REALLY don't line Lana but man if summertime sadness isn't about them. #“i think ill love you forever” part is GENUINELY SO THEM and no one else. i swear. #like 10% of the songs on that playlist are from artists i like and usually listen to but that mostly bc im not a moody sad old songs kinda #of girl and i just caN NOT choose anything else for shakarian. like i swear I can picture shepard showing that kind of songs for garrus #and garrus listening to most of these on thr 2 years gap even before they get together..... bc he heard her listening once #in the normandy and it stuck with him bc... u know... reminds him of her... im gonna throw up #“smoking gun's hot to thr touch” from out of touch reminds him of their meeting like the night we met entire song #but it doesnt gets him more than “none of you” from the chorus. and by the time me3 comes they are sooo Local Natives coded #When am I gonna loose you + I saw you close your eyes ESPECIALLY #its also insane how I can go into akiangel playlists and get songs from there tbh... i never watches csm and NEVER WILL bc really not my #thing. but man akiangel stans know how to do playlist and they are the exactly same feeling i get with shakarian #sorry for the akiangel playlist makers who I have liked the playlist and listened to it on repeat. i was thinking abt shakarian while doing #sorry for the SUDDEN txt post about my spotify playlist.... i spent the morning doing university work and I accidentally #changed from my xiv playlist to the shakarian one and it went downhill from there........ anyway miss my babies..... enough rambling now #ALSO theres this thing were skip The night we met bc its my go to ardbert song LOL but THAT'S LIKE... ANOTHER SUBJECT ANYWAY #kelly says #dl #i forgot to mention For the first time by mac de marco which i like... ultimate shakrian song with Out of touch..... ANYWAY ANYWYAYA

[ladysqueakinpip]

anyways I genuinely feel so grateful for the rise apritello server I almost started crying on the way home bc I was filled with such joy. legit the best thing that happened to me in 2023 second only to maybe going to key west.

#apritello fans just. get it too tbh. #like all of the fics and artwork from them SLAP #its not even about solely april and donnies characterization bc like so many of these fics #have the best characterization for the other characters ive seen. and ive read a lot of gen fics too #sigh #anyway its just nice to have a safe space #like. i KNOW its not inc*st but when you hear 'omg u ship inc*st!! you horrible scum!!' enough #it starts to rly get to you #we had friends over for new years eve and MANY of us ended up talking about #how in our respective fandoms we all had a ship that the fandom deemed us 'problematic' for #bc the characters were 'sibling coded' AND NOT EVEN BIOLOGICALLY RELATED... #it genuinely makes me sad to know how many ppl this has happened to