#no comment on that one i jsut want 2 note it

[olderthannetfic]

The "reblog, don't like. Liking hurts creators" stuff has always gotten on my nerves, who are you to tell me what to put on my blog? But I jsut saw this post, which put it in a different light. https://mayahawkse.tumblr.com/post/691239174316097536/heres-a-little-comparison-for-people-who-say

I' got on Tumblr in 2013, quit around the porn ban, and only came back pretty recently. I didn't realise that people had actually stopped reblogging things from each other.

I guess the "likes hurt creators" thing might have some validity after all. I still really don't like the tone of entitlement or the idea that expressing your appreciation to OP with a like is an insult instead of an expression of appreciation.

The comment section probably cuts into the reblog counts; people have conversations there instead of in reblog chains, and don't have to reblog an entire post just to point out one quick thing or make the same joke as everyone else, but I don't think that comments account for the ratios in that post, especially since the screenshots don't show posts with hefty comments.

So yeah, guys, likes don't hurt creators, but Tumblr is for passing posts around. If you see something you like, you can just reblog it to be all "look at this cool thing I found". You don't have to worry about adding anything meaningful in a reblog, and if you and all your mutuals reblog the same post twelve times in a row, well, that's just how Tumblr works; if someone gets anoyed they can block the post through xkit.

--

Eh. I'd beware of anecdata like that.

I used to get like 2 notes a post and no asks ever. On the rare occasions that I reblogged heavily in a hot fandom of the moment for a month or two, I got a lot of engagement once people realized I was a place to go for that fandom, and I particularly got a lot of reblogs because people wanted that content on their own tumblrs.

Currently, I get a decent number of reblogs, but I get a lot more other interaction because things here tend to be discussions and debates and people don't necessarily want them on their own tumblrs.

--

In my case, I don't like the framing that it hurts creators because that's assuming that a person would have reblogged if they hadn't liked. In reality, they probably just wouldn't have interacted.

People pass posts around all kinds of ways, including pasting links to mine into various discord channels for fandom drama or sending me links to others' posts via chat messages here.

I also don't like the framing that it hurts creators because this only makes sense if you mean that it hurts the ability of visual artists to earn money.

Am I not a creator of a kind? Do I not write copious meta even if a lot of the content here comes from others? My ~engagement numbers~ are not harmed by failing to reblog. My engagement numbers don't matter full stop.

Or maybe, maybe, it's not about money, but it's about clout-chasing nonsense. Boo hoo, my gifset doesn't do numbers because it's not 2012 and I'm not in superwholock fandom now. Oh well. Chase the crowds to another site or chase the megafandoms. That's the only way to get those numbers back.

--

I do think that some time after 2012, people became increasingly afraid of harassment and may have pulled back on interactions, particularly contentful ones, because of that.

But mostly, tumblr has cleared out. Fewer people are using it, and fewer of the ones remaining are using it actively in a way where it makes sense to fill their own blog with content.

Maybe part of the change is that you can't become a BNF of tasteful curation so easily now, so there's no point in reblogging unless it's for yourself?

Maybe it's gifsets that are out of fashion? I don't know.

--

I never had much interest in "look at this cool thing" sans commentary back then, and I have little now. I have my activity page set to hide all that.

The changing phases of a site can be interesting, but we need a bit more than one person's top couple of posts to reach any conclusions.

[historicfailure]

So idk if I’m just screaming into the void here or not

But I managed to finish something for once, aka a chapter which I’ve sat over for a long time now, and would start posting the long-fic soonish/when I finish one more chapter (2 pages already written for that one too).

Might still take a while, but I just wanted to give you guys a little update of where I am and how I’m doing. And jsut to make sure, here a little excerpt:

~ X ~

You found the first note when you came back from lunch break.

It had been a good day until then, and you spent the break with a few of your new coworkers that you had gotten to know a little bit over the last few weeks. Kurenai was such a nice person, and she seemed genuinely interested when you started to talk about your previous workplace at a marketing company; she had asked lots of questions about the place while stabbing her salad with sharp, precise motions. Anko, on the other hand, had happily munched on a few dango sticks and listened, throwing in some comments when she saw fit, only to end the conversation with a mischievous “Way to go, (Y/N). But one important question you have to answer… Do you have a special someone,” At that her eyebrows had waggled up and down, like she was one of the ridiculous villains straight out of a cartoon, “who is able to give it to you really good?”

Needless to say, Kurenai and Shizune, who had been quietly listening to the talk while eating her sandwich, groaned in deep-apparently-already-expected embarrassment and the group quickly dispersed after that. Anko grinned a bit, like she knew what she had done, and winked at you, before casually strolling after your little group.

You stepped up to your desk with the small food container and water bottle in hand, still grinning weakly about Anko’s cheekiness, when you noticed the little note sitting innocently on top of your keyboard.

You knew it wasn’t yours from the very moment you spotted the paper. Usually, your desk was a total and utter mess, cluttered in different papers, sticky notes, files and pictures as references for an upcoming marketing campaign you were working on. The keyboard was pushed right in front of the monitor, to make space for the wild handwriting you had to call your own, the lists you made to remember whom to call to prepare some proofs of pamphlets you had planned or to schedule a meeting with a client, so they could check said proofs and the development of your ideas.

~ X ~

Thanks for listening to anyone who is still here.

#historicfailure #I feel my username in this chillis tonight #since a few months now #so this is huge to me #freakypseudwriter

[colorguardsweetheartblurrsgirl]

Please tell me I'm not alone:

#writers on tumblr

Going what is intended to be a maybe 1 or 2 hour story ramble that had a set purpose. Start talking about situations, forgetting or being caught in the midn as you record or just ramble to think through the story. End up going past two hours as you describe only to yourself for notes intricate plot details, random facts on other characters, or more world building. Next you check another two hours goes but you are on such a streak you promise to go and get soemthingntoneat to your growling stomach soon as this thought finishes which is almost clearly done. But then over explaining the plot to no one but yourself more of what you know but want recorded down. Going I promise at this time to turn it off. Next you check it's an hour past that point of stop time you set fir yourself. But your finally wrapping it up! Just a little more, few more minutes you tell yourself. Only to check the clock realizing there is no stop and it's agin two yours since you made that comment this sesh keeps going what you were enar wrapping up only found a way to add m.j ro plotted scenes to your mind and dekwelling on what if scenarios for a story that hasn't yet been released.🤣😂

Literally describes me making recorded note from 8:40 PM-6:40 AM.🤣😂😅😭😢

I've got a headache now!!! It worries me that my recording program says only 3:47 (hrs/min) but it was continually recording. Makes me wonder if I missed and or wasted more talking and it will come out as jibberish.😢😭😅😂🤣

Heres the art work that kept me company during these long periods.

Note comic is not the actual comic, but another proof of concept to a later scene I wanted to play around with for some time now, and I'm near writting the chapter out for, fully. I've written certain scenes for it throughout to keep plot details consistent of what has to happen. Before I have written it. Although most of the outline has been written story elements ahve changed from my initial outline. Just was jotting down on paper before I tried anything with it digitally.

This is mostly a mess & not in anyway my best drawing (looking to the weird outstretched hand. That was just a random quick drawing without reference jsut trying tonmoce through the drawing quick. But leaving enough deletsik for me to hbderstandbthebintetion should I go with the same story movement here when implementing the chapter. This was me just trying out a few things I wanted to see out on paper to make sure what I was seeing in my head would translate well in a comic. Not all are detailed slides but with enough detail to what I for myself am going for and wanting at said times to understand with a quick glance.

E.g the quickly drawn hand is so not the best drawn hand just a quick render to know what I wanted. Or for reference I had one short box presenting a dark area of thhe short dialogues pacing between frames. This I later returned and drew the figures standing instead over the current dialogue given instead the same impression the short dialogue gave using perspective to shape this and drawing over dialogue that may be unnecessary. But instead make it in between two more prominent frames a similarly long one added pulled back image of the scene. Allowing for more emotion to be felt through the black space surrounding the characters.

Similarly in my first proof of concept I hinted to a while bsck in a previous update shwoing some images from it. Where elements have since been added like this change and added slides as it is like yg to make it into the story, but the concept remained to ensure the way I was intending things would work to be added. But it in itself may be as is or in an adapted way make it in the comic or stay outside it maybe to be posted as a side story alongside a rest period or just something I show later patreons, etc . This is just a frame of reference to use as I get further along and a way for me to ensure directions I'm headed would work in the way I intend.

The below is related to S.T.R.Y.

#writtingcommunity #writerslife #writeblr #writers and poets #writing #writers on tumblr #writerscreed #writersofinstagram #fanfic writers #writerscommunity #female writers #henry stickmin #henry stickmin au #henry stickmin collection #someone to remember you #henry stickmin ask blog #someone to remember #the henry stickmin collection #henry stickman fanart #henry stickmin comic #henry stickmin fanmade #henry stickmin fanart #henry stickmin oc #henry stickmim collection #thsc henry stickmin #toppat henry #thsc art #thsc oc #thsc au #thsc

[cryptideye]

very sick of posts demanding reblogs instead of likes lmao?????

theres a difference between going “hey id really appreciate reblogs on this! it helps my account grow” and going “this post has a HUNDRED LIKES but only TEN REBLOGS you guys are the reason artists quit. someone is quitting their passion right now because YOU were too selfish to reblog their post. its just clicking a button, theres NO reason to not do it and if you dont do it, you dont actually care about art and youre just selfish / too stupid to understand what a reblog is / Just Dont Get It”

like jesus christ ok if you hate your reblog to like ratio so much ill just refrain from interacting at all !!!!! my god dude thats just so unpleasant and makes me want to keep a 10 foot distance from you At Least

#its the entitlement #and YES. being mean to others because they arent reblogging IS entitlement #if you feel like youre owed something from a non-transactional interaction that is the definition of feeling entitled #so sick of this like bro. basic kindness is SOOOO EASY #why the fuck are you lashing out at your audience who are the ones bothering to support you *at all* ????? #like 'its easy and free' ok maybe i dont want to clog up my blog. #'the entire point of having a blog is to reblog things!!!!!!!!!' ok so why arent you reblogging every single post you see #also sometimes i like a post enough to give it a like or a positive comment but i DONT want it on my blog for whatever reason. like dude #get OVER it????????/ people RARELY reblog my art posts but its literally fine i post them because i want to and NOT because i feel entitled #to interactions. if you like my stuff enough to reblog it thats GREAT and i love you #but if you dont. thats also fine i appreciate any support i get #also if youre quitting art permanently bc a post got 'only' a few hundred notes and not a lot of reblogs #did you really enjoy it at all?????? maybe you shouldnt have been posting if youre putting so much of your motivation onto others #my second favourite is posts accusing others of lying when they say their sole motivation ISNT attention #bro i post my art online because 1. i like interactions 2. i like having an archive of my work and 3. im nice and understand others like #seeing my stuff. jsut because i LIKE interactions doesnt mean my ENTIRE MOTIVATION FOR ART RELIES ON THEM #'ok but if you say you arent disappointed if you work hard on something and it only gets a few notes youre lying' literally no dude !!!!! #i make art bc i like seeing the end product and feeling prouf of my skills. interactions are just a BONUS #seriously please reconsider your priorities

[hmspogue]

Outer Banks season 2 Official Trailer shot-by-shot rundown

A comprehensive post where I scream about analyze the entire trailer frame by frame for clues, theories, and plot. Just my own opinions and general tin foil-hatting

These are screenshots from Netflix’s trailer for Outer Banks season 2. I do not claim or own any of these.

note: this post is tagged as a long post if you wish to avoid having to scroll until your thumbs break.

“My old man used to tell me, ‘it’s best to never say you’ve hit rock bottom’.”

(Putting all of these shots together since they’re scenes we already know but-) Holy shit, okay let’s just....start off like this I guess, damn.

“'Trust me’, he said...”

Kiara looking back and forth between the boys like this really just feeds the headcanon I have that her form of grief this season is going to be her trying to hold it together for their sakes (and eventually just snapping).

JJ just looks fucking furious someone give these kids a hug? I already know this scene is going to ruin me.

“You can always go...”

JJ back working at the hotel. He looks literally so angry again in this scene I could see him self destructing at work and losing his job? (Please do not be isolating yourself you beautiful son of a bitch even though I know you’re going to).

Pope in the Twinkie (costuming wise they all are in warmer looking clothes for some of the shots, so just confirming it’s a little bit into the school year when this all takes place).

“Lower”

Big John was real big into pep talks, I see. (seriously can you imagine Big John having this conversation with like 8 year old John B after he fucking dropped his ice cream cone or some shit I shouldn’t be laughing).

I’m just-

These poor kids, I wanna know how the police all the way down in the Bahama’s knew about them?

Their calves....

“RUN!”

Are going to be so fucking jacked by the end of this season I stg.

Fuck you.

“The gold from the Royal Merchant....it’s here.”

For a while, I had thought that maybe they didn’t even make it to the Bahama’s at the front of the season and ended there (because everyone had been filming in there). But I guess they’re going to be making two trips.

If I were a bird from this POV I’d shit right on that house no questions asked.

oooooh ho hokay. Just so we’re clear. Ward Cameron not only get away with murder and about two dozen other felonies, but-

“Half a billion.”

HE STILL FINDS THE GOLD IN THE CRAIN HOUSE AND GETS TO KEEP IT?

Not the polo with the snap back, I just know this man has a playlist called Sad Boi Hours that is just Juice WRLD’s top 5 songs on Spotify and he tells his friends they wouldn’t know the underground artists he listens to.

Sh, you have lost screaming privileges. Go inside and take a nap maybe.

“John B, we are fugitives in a foreign country.”

So, previously, I was talking about how I was confused how they would still be trying to find him is everyone thought he was dead, but here the wanted poster clearly says “presumed lost at sea”. I think that will be interesting to see how the Pogues all interpret that. 

Especially because they already had a memorial for John B and everything, I wonder if there will be any part of the Pogues holding out hope that they both could still be out there OUCH.

I’m going to circle back to this, but it looks like John B and Sarah are going to get separated for a little while in this man hunt, I could see my idiot himbo son trying to sacrifice himself so Sarah can get away but in reality just....stranding her.

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid?”

Oh, sweetie....

“Well, Sarah Cameron, I do stupid things all the time without realizing it.”

The volume of his self awareness is astronomical. sir, that is your whole character summed up in your own words.

GOD, IT’S ME AGAIN. PLEASE LET THEM LEAN INTO COMPLETE HIMBO JOHN B THIS SEASON I’LL DO ANYTHING-

nyyooooOOOOOOOOOOOOM-

“Hold on!”

The complete abject terror I would feel having John Booker Routledge driving get-away and then saying the words “Hold on” while reaching fro the gear shift? The english language fails me. 

Sarah, bestie, I’m so sorry.

I just wanna know-

what the plan or objective was in this situation. What was the reason for being this dramatic.

Rest in piss, bozo <3

“Ward’s still out there...”

Okay, same conversation they were having as before. I wonder what makes them decide they need to get back to the OBX for this tho.

“I can clear my name. This can all be over in one shot.”

It looks like Topper watching this but way more concerningly, correct me if I’m wrong but this 100% looks like....John B gets caught. And the DEATH PENALTY?! He did have a mug shot for the fliers in s1 and the one above but he was never brought in? Plus he just looks super dirty and dishevled in this one so I-

Jail break anyone?

I also still want to know if they’re going to go with a Topper redemption arc this season. like, does he know more than he should just from being around Rafe and his big fat mouth? Is he going to help out the Pogues even if it’s just for Sarah?

This shot just suddenly made me really sad. The thought of this all started because Big John left one last thing for his son to find, his literal life’s work. And when it all started, it was just a fun adventure John B and his best friends were going on together and having fun with. Then it all got dragged to absolute shit and turned into what it did, including the remaining 3 Pogues thinking that this treasure hunt took their two best friends away from them. And it’s nothing like Big John intended it to be.

Why my eyes wet?

Now we’re edging into what I was talking about earlier with John B and Sarah getting separated.

“If you think there is anything I wouldn’t do...”

Once again, John B is no where to be found. Also, just in case y’all didn’t already know or forgot Ward is an actual psychopath.

I believe this one of the new character, played by Jontavious Johnson (Stubbs). Based on the voice over it lowkey sounds like they’re implying Ward maybe hired Stubbs and Cleo to find and bring Sarah back. My theory would be I bet they do go to retrieve her, but she somehow convinces them that it would be more beneficial for them in the end to be on the Pogue’s side instead.

Miss Girl you gotta be keeping your head on a SWIVEL. Especially when you’re a FUGITIVE of the LAW-

“...you haven’t been paying attention.”

My guy, who are you clarifying this for?

It’s what you deserve for monologuing.

in all seriousness, the idea of them coming to face to face with Ward in Nassau after thinking they finally escaped him is genuinely terrifying.

“SARAH!”

It kind of looks like they’re either hiding their faces or covering their noses? I don’t know maybe it was from some tactic to get away from Ward.

What did I literally jsut say about yelling privileges, you unhinged mother fucker?

“I’m calling the shots now. I’m driving.”

The following progression of scenes made me actually snort-

“I can’t drive stick.”

PLEASE THE FINGER GUNS LAUNCHED ME INTO ORBIT I LOVE THEM, YOUR HONOR.

Alright, so now it looks like we’re in Charleston. This is the same scene with Heyward’s truck that got leaked from BTS (read: JJ and Kie shoulder touch).

One of the main things that stuck out to me in the following scenes which, you will see, is it lowkey looks like Pope is kind of heading up this part of the operation, or even going in alone? The following clips are just very Pope focused. 

I don’t know what it means, it’s just an observation.

“John B was not the only one that Ward double-crossed.”

LIMBRY-

Bro, we have been hearing about this woman for literal months and I just have....so many questions? 

Who the hell is she? How is she connected to Ward? Why is she in South Carolina instead of the OBX? How do the Pogues even learn about her and how to track her down? How is she meant to “help” them? GAH I JUST WANNA KNOOOW. I already know I don’t trust her though and no I will not be offering up supporting evidence.

Sir, that is my son please unhand him.

“I think you know what I want.”

.......no? But feel....free to explain yourself?

The print on the paper is the same one that’s on the ceiling tiles in the following scene. Obviously, with a key on it that most likely goes to the place a few shots from now.

Hell yeah, son, let’s get SLEUTHING.

“The treasure belongs to the Pogues.”

DAMN STRAIGHT.

Bestie’s I’m not going to lie, I stared at this frame for a solid 10 minuets and I have no idea what it says on there I’m sorry. Someone in the comments is welcome to enlighten us.

“We gotta find it first.”

I can’t tell if that’s just dirt or if he hurt his head? But he look GOOD right now for one thing. For another, same outfit as the one in the Twinkie from the beginning of the trailer.

Look at her. LooK AT HER! LOOK! AT! HER! I MISSED HER SO MUCH even in that damn smiley face top that continues to haunt my waking hours she is in it so much and it stresses me out for literally no good reason I’m sorry-

I could literally cry right now and I think that speaks volumes to how little we actually see him genuinely happy. Have I mentioned how much I love that red hat?

Also, probably not that important, but this is not from the same scene as the shots of Pope and Kiara were. This is from the next one-

“Woogity-woogity?”

“Give me some woogity, baby!”

Yeah, this pushed me over the fucking edge, the way that they’re actually happy and laughing? The fact that they kept woogity-woogity and made it A Thing? Yes.

I am, however, going to be intentionally ignoring what appears to be the very intentional stagingof having such an obvious space between where Kiara and Pope are sitting adn where JJ sits, even including the level they’re sitting on because I don’t have the emotional capacity to face those implications right now. Thank you for your time.

Yes yeeeeEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

GIVE ME ALL OF THE SCENES OF THEM ACTUALLY GETTING TO BE TEENAGERS AND JUST BREATHE AND LAUGH AND HAVE A GOOD TIME AND NOT BE RUNNING FOR THEIR FUCKING LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!

before Rafe comes in and literally starts shooting because they can’t breathe for more than 7 seconds but we’ll....get to that.

They refer to Sarah as a Pogue this season or I burn Netflix to the ground. Your move, Jonas.

50 bucks says John B is driving the Twinkie again for the first time since being back.

I deadass think the Pogues JUST got Sarah and John B back and they’re just having the time of their life. Kie was in her smiley face outfit when Pope was in this one a few clips ago, and I still hold to the belief that that one still they released of JJ and Kie hopping over a fence is the Pogue reunion so-

Ward? I have no idea what he’s looking at behind the wall paper and I’ll be so honest I don’t care my eyes are only seeing Pogue content right now.

“This is a map of the whole island.”

This fit, when will John B learn how to operate buttons, stay tuned for season 5. Also my previous theory of this being their reunion outfits and stuff because Pope is in the back in the same jacket as before.

The plot thickens and so has JJ’s hair, Rudy drop the shampoo brand.

Please, dear God, tell me they’re back in the sex church. For @jiaaraa sake.

Kiara, your Madison is showing.

Okay, I really did try but all I can make out is Something to the tomb begin something something.

You’re welcome.

I am no expert but I do not believe boats operate on land.

John B looks like he is in the same outfit here that is in his mug shot we saw on the TV screen so I have a sneaking suspicion this is where he gets caught. 

“John B is back-”

Once again with the damn sexual tension that’s always between Barry and Rafe in every scene they do are we about to kiss right now?

“-it’s him or me.”

First of all, no.

Second of all, I’m just....so very confused about this time line this season. It kind of looks like Ward and Rafe follow and find Sarah and John B in Nassau (unless those scenes by the truck were actually back in the OBX). So did they....go to Nassau, then just come right back when they did? I’m just confused.

Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.

Literally when will you stop at this point I am begging you. 

This looks like the same scene the Pogues were, ya know, literally just having a good time at so fuck me, I guess.

Yeah, no, it’s going to be a no from me, I’m just going to pretend like I’m not seeing this and moving on.

I have simply no idea what is going on here or who that is on the bike but maybe JJ? Maybe Luke even? I think that’s JJ’s bike. 

The sewer scene. The SEWER SCENE-

For months sicne that tiktok leaked this damn scene has been genuinely all I could think about. So (obviously) it seems like they’re sending Kie down into the sewer to go do seomthing and things go horribly, horribly wrong. 

If you haven’t seen the tiktok, essentially all it was was JJ and Pope screaming and trying to lift up the man hole cover while Kie is begging for them to hurry from inside. I’m cheating a little bit as this isn’t a shot from the trailer but this picture was posted and it’s from the same scene.

I’ll just....leave this here. Back to the trailer shots.

Nice. Also, same shirt as mugshot.

Hey, um, what? 

Kiara’s car, she’s driving, I can’t tell who’s in the back seat or the front.

Holy God what is going on and how can I as an audience member put a stop to it?

So, same scene as we will see and was in the teaser but, for some reason, they’re all jumping off of a giant ass boat into the little life raft where it looks like JJ gets hurt later but don’t you worry we’re getting to that.

JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE THEY BOTH LOOK SO DAMN GOOD AND THEIR LITTLE SMILES SPARE ME-

Cleo 🥵

I’m so excited to see her arc and what it brings this season you guys have no idea.

Please for the love of God be about to get Ward Cameron’s ass like he deserves literally punt him into jail right from Tanny Hill.

Sarah at My Druther’s with what looks like a bloody bandage on her side? Same outfit she’s wearing when they’re running from the police on the beach and she has the bandage there too so. Interesting. 

Topper hugging who I’m pretty sure is Sarah, being a general douche because he’s clearly looking at John B like 😏 

Clips like these serve to remind me just how many of my worldly posessions I would gladly give up to be able to punch Topper Thorton in the throat one time. 

I think this is Cleo jumping off the boat with Pope after John B and Sarah. 

Absolutely busting a lung at Pope’s form in this one.

John B and Sarah waiting in the life raft, still Cleo and Pope coming after them. The obvious next question is where are JJ and Kiara. The scene I’m sure you all have been waiting for is coming up and clearly takes place in the life raft as well.

So, I really think JJ and Kie get left for last, something horrible happens as they’re trying to jump (my head instantly goes to JJ maybe like pushing Kie out of the way and getting hit on the head instead or even just some accident). 

And, oh my GOD a scene of him falling off the boat after it happens and Kiara diving in after him immediately, having to desperatly try to stop him from sinkingand get to the life raft holy shit-

Girl CATCH HIM?????

Because why wouldn’t this be Rafe’s fault. Part of me wonders if this isn’t related to JJ being hurt.

I am going to try and unpack this as calmly as possible because behind my computer screen I am vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass but respectfully.

WHAT IN THE FUCK IS TIAUEWFHLAILA

Okay, so scene wise, JJ’s hit his head somehow (probably while he was jumping with Kiara) it looks like and now they’re back on the raft. 

In my opinion, this is either:

A) JJ is in really, really bad condition after getting hurt in the jump and they’re not sure he’s going to make it. So this is a “Please stay with me, stay awake, please don’t die” hug OR

B) They very narrowly just avoided a deadly situation (my first thought is JJ hits his head while jumping, passes out in the water, maybe almost drowns but Kie and the others get him onto the life raft in time) and this is more of a “Oh my God, you’re okay, you’re safe now, we’re okay” hug. 

I honestly lean more to the second one based on the little bit of Sarah’s face we saw in the background. To me, it almost looked like she was smiling thru tears, which, fits way more with the second option than the first. 

Anyways. Moving on before I burst a lung again.

(also, before anyone comes at me, no, I’m not happy JJ is hurt, obviously.  

(Once again, arrest outfits). You can still see the bandage but it looks like Sarah’s limping now too so...good Lord give the girl a break maybe?

Everything in this trailer just went to shit so fast I think I have whip lash, can we go back to the Pogues hanging out and being happy now pkease I liked those scenes.

“I get it. You guys are scared.”

“No.”

She’s cute but, uh, hello sewer scene outfits. Seems like them planning to do whatever the hell they were going to do in the sewers but the boys are starting to get cold feet as maybe they should but hind sight is 20/20 I suppose.

“It’s kind of cute.”

“I’m not scared.”

“You should’ve just led with that.”

I will never be able to express how much I adore Pogue banter and general dumbassery and I have a feeling this season will not be lacking in either department

I high key don’t think these two are actually going to be there for this scene to go down but I’ll let it slide this time because-

They do be kinda cute.

It both feels like I’ve been waiting for this damn show for 3 years and also like I just watched season 1 last month explain that to me. 

Either way holy shit. I missed this dumb show and these dumb kids so much it physcially hurts and WE GET THEM BACK IN T-MINUS 16 DAYS.

Also. Where The Hell Is Wheezie Cameron And When Will She Have The Rights She Deserves.

#THIS LEGIT TOOK ME ALL DAY #AND I HAD A BLAST #im simply not ready #jiara nation how we feeling #UGH i missed them so much dude #outer banks season 2 #obx #long post #shot by shot rundown #jiara #the pogues #obx2 #john b routledge #pope heyward #sarah cameron #kiara carrera #jj maybank #jarah b #john b x sarah #jj maybank x kiara carrera #cleo #rafe cameron #topper thornton

[aspiestvmusings]

ZEP PARALLELS: S2 vs S1

POSSIBLE SPOILERS?

WARNING: Super long post. 

Parallels & Similarities (and differences) between S1 & S2

Includes episodes 2x01, 2x02, 2x03: 

2x01 Zoeys Extraordinary Return

Wake-up songs/Zoey & Mo: Opening the season with Zoey being woken up by Mo singing "in real life" & waking her up. "Rise up" in 2x01 AND "Angel of the Morning/Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" in 1x01. We first see Zoey in her bedroom. And the first two characters we meet are Zoey & Mo.

Zoey + baby: In both premieres Zoey has an encounter with a baby. In 2x01 we see her interact with her brother's son (the new baby, Miles) VS in 1x01 she encounters  new mom with a baby on the cable car during the first ever big musical number she experiences (Help!) #whenwillshestarttohearthebabysheartsongs 

Clarkeman & Coffee: The first Zoey/Max scene/interactions happens over "coffee break before work". In 2x01 we see them meting up for a coffee on a park bench before she heads over to work VS in 1x01 we see them getting coffee at the cofee bar on their way to work. In both scenes Max, her best friend, encourages/supports her (you will get the promotion VS it's a shield...to shield you from the world when you need it").

Jumping to conclusions: In 2x01 Zoey assumes that Max giving her the small jewelry box means he's proposing ("Relax, I'm not proposing") VS In 1x02 Zoey assumes that Max is asking her on a romantic dinner date, when he tells her he won the lottery to the restaurant they both love. ("Thursday night. Is it a date?" / "Is it a date?" "No! I just mean like can you go?")

Legs up!: Peoples legs getting close to Zoey's face during big musicals numbers: Leif's & Simon's during "Hello Dolly" in 2x01 at the 4th floor bullpen VS Joan's during "Satisfaction" in the elevator in 1x03. 

Promotion: In 1x01 Zoey wants the promotion & has an "interview" with Joan to get it VS in 2x01 she does not want the new job (added responsibility, when she jsut wants to "lay low") but Joan just asks her to take it. And by the end of the episode she gets the promotion/accepts the promotion, and we see her "first day at work on the new job". And in both episodes she has a competitor - Leif, who is also interested in a promotion. 

Interesting: In 2x01 Mo tells Zoey "So the powers are back - you're interesting again!" VS 1x01 when she tells him about her new superpower Mo tells Zoey: "This is the 1st thing I find remotely interesting about you". 

Mo is the honest friend: In 2x01 Mo speaks the honest truth... which is what Zoey actually needs to hear JUST LIKE he has been doing throughout S1. He might not always say the nicest things, but he's alwyas honest. And its what Zoey's character needs. (eg. Mo knows that she just lost her dad & it's a hard time for her, but her problems are still not bigger than everyone elses. Or like he calls her out on her chase/hesitation over the two teams in S1)

Tech-savvy Zoey to the rescue: In 2x01 Zoey uses her tech skills to "hack into Mitch's e-mail account" when her mom can't find the password & access it for info she needs (that dad left them) VS in1x03 Zoey comes up with a way to communicate with Mitch... (after David comes up with the Yes/No buzzer) & creates a computer program which allows him to type his answers using a mouse. 

Etsy: In 2x01 Joan tells Zoey "I like your sweater, its cute that you shop at Etsy" VS in 1x01 Tobin tells Zoey: "I thought you would be doing each others nails & buying matching tote-bags off Etsy in there."

Blessing or curse? In 1x12 Zoey told her dad that she has chosen to look at her musical power more like a "gift/blessing" (it allowed her to communicate with dad, helped her form bonds with others, help people...) and she said she's not minding the big musical numbers the way she used to. She even considers they're helpin g her instead. VS in 2x01 she tells Mo that she hopes the power won't return & when it does, she finds it "overwhelming" & cannot deal with any of it. 

Bottling it up: In 2x01 George sings "Don't cry out loud. Just keep it inside. And learn how to hide your feelings."  That song is as much about George's feelings about being the new guy, as it is another reference to Zoey's state of mind VS in 1x01 we learn that both Zoey & Simon keep their grief emotions bottled up (and they should not). As the dilogue from the Pilot already told us: Zoey: "Are you talking to anyone about this?" Simon: "Other than you? No. I've become a real expert of bottling my shame & pain, and hiding it from the world." Zoey: "I'm not an expert on this or anything, but you cant just keep it in."

Family & Grief: The Clarke family all singing "Carry on" & sitting down the table to eat dinner together at the end of 2x01... with a happy note about the future in their minds VS The Clarke family all singing "American Pie" on the funeral day at the end of 1x12, and all sitting at the living room (on the coach, chairs)...with a sad note about the present in their minds. 

The premiere episodes end with a "surprise" Max (and Zoey) "twist": ep 1x01 ends with a surprise heart song from Max which makes Zoey & the viewers aware of his feelings for her VS 2x01 ends with a surprise decision from Zoey where she "chooses Max". Also parallels to 1x12: in both 2x01 & 1x12 Zoey comes onto/kisses Max as he's telling her about his new outlook on life & business ideas. In both cases she's (partly) trying to forget grieving her dad, and needs him for the distraction. Both endings were "sudden" & "unexpected"

Family picture wall: In 2x01 Maggie is holding baby Miles (her grandson) & "showing him" the family photos on the wall VS in 1x01 Zoey sees her & dad's reflection on the picture on the wall...as Mitch first communictes with her... by singing his first heart song to her.  

Move forward: Zoey's words to Max about the business plans & their relationship actually apply as much to herself and her grief as they do for this situation: "You should absolutely move forward with it" & "You always have to move forward" 

2x02 Zoeys Extraordinary Distraction [+ (base)balls]

Hooking up: In 2x02 Zoey says to Max "we have been hooking up for the last 5 minutes" VS in 1x12 she tells her dad "I just hooked up with my best friend". In both cases Zoey makes the first move & kisses Max. In both hooking up scenes the popcorn is forgotten...

She/They both want to believe she's feeling the moment & is ready, but it is mostly just one coping mechanism... her way of distracting herself from the grief. Cause in no way has she shown signs of actually choosing him. [what dawned on the characters only 2 weeks later was obvious to viewers before they "got together" aka the moment she "chose him"] 

We saw her pick a team, but there have been no actual reasons or feelings expressed  by her why she chose him (the reasons she gave in "act five"  were about her needing him at the moment, not about why or how she really feels about him). The writing has still not included her POV & her sharing her feelings (cause she’s not ready for that...yet) They gave small glimpses during few scenes, but no real look into it. 

Get out!: Tobin being kicked out of the meeting by DMD/Zoey - "Get out, Tobin"/"Would you like to get out, Tobin?" AND Zoey getting kicked out from the makeover night by Mo - "Get out!" / "Girl, I don't care that you look like Rafiki. Get out!"

That came out wrong: Zoey told Simon in 2x02 about making his job not so easy "I am gonna ride you so...hard... Nope, that came out wrong"...She adds the last part as she hears herself say the words. VS Tobin was talking about being commited to work in 1x08 by saying "Hardworking, committed, serious. Watch how fast I nail this. Speaking of nailing... Nope, not gonna make the joke.." He adds the last part as he hears himself say the words

Food stealer: Zoey "I steal food from my best friends plate/bowl" Clarke. She ate from his plate during their dinner date at her place. And then she ate from his cereal bowl during the Clarke family breakfast "the morning after".

Older siblings: Jenna's is the less successful older sibling/sister (2x02) just like Leif is the less successful older sibling/brother (1x05). They both feel like "not enough" compared to their younger sibling(s), who they feel are more "perfect". 

Cardigan buddies: Leif & Zoey: cardigan buddies! Interestingly these two are the two 4th Floor Team members, who are most similar: both have a bike/like cycling (Leif often hs his bicyle helmet on his desk, so he rides a bike to work & Zoey has a bike in her apartment). Both love to wear cardigans, and the wardrobe department often has them in matching outfits/colours...Same this week. Both were/are the team members, who are in many ways "biggest messes" (most awkward), but both had/have the most ambition...they wanted and got the promotions. Both struggled in their new manager position..at first (and got help and good advice from their boss).

Team Leaders: Leif doing all the work alone (and exhausting himself...because he wants to be liked & hasn't yet settled into his new role as team leader... He has to learn to be their boss,  ot just their buddy...to get the team listen & for there to be teamwork) VS Zoey doing all the work alone (pre-S1 when she wanted the promotion +) during S1 when she had just become the boss: sending everyone home, cause they "didn't try hard enough", and fixing all the issues alone... VS Mo wanting to do it all alone in his early 20s (when he took over the project he had been working on with his best friend, cause "he's too good at goobyes") Both struggled with the new job, both got help/advice from their boss (Zoey from Joan & Leif from Zoey)

Sleeping at work:  Lief  being woken up by Zoey in 2x03 after he falls asleep when pulling an all-night at work (working  all night) VS Simon waking up Zoey in 1x02 after she falls asleep at work (behind her desk) after pulling an all-nighter alone. 

Leif's pants: In 2x02 Zoey tells Leif "Dust off your slim-fitting chinos" VS in S1 Joan makes a comment on Leif's pants. [I cannot remember the ep number right now] 

Go big or go home!: We found out Mitch's/Zoey’s dads motto in S1. It's "bigger moments, bigger memories" AND In 2x02 Zoey goes for the "bigger moment" - she tailors their first time together to suit Max's wishes (it should be special: the swan & rose petals are more for him than her) VS In 1x07 Max organizes a flash mob to confess his love for Zoey (something she as her dad's daughter secretly appreciates). She calls it unexpected & amazing & while she runs, its not cause she does not appreciate the "big gesture". The only reason she is overwhelmed & runs is because she is doing everything in her power to bottle up her feelings towards Max (1x06 ending proved she has feelings for him) & she did not want to deal with them at the moment. (the flashmob is more his style, but she is not opposed to it)

Come here: Max saying "Come here" to Zoey in the 2x02 dinner date scene at her place & during act five bedroom scene AND Max saying the same line "Come here" to Zoey in 1x12 during the "All of me/Pitbull" scene. 

Mix of songs: In 2x02 during the Z/M bedroom scene the scene switched between different songs & tones (romantic/ballad vs comic/neutral baseball song VS romantic mutual duet) VS in 1x12 during the Z/M movie night turned more scene the scene switched between different songs & tones (romantic/ballad vs comic/fast song) 

Dueting: In 2x02 Zoey joins Max for "A Moment Like This" during Act 5. She chooses to duet with him, becuase she feels the same way as he does. VS in 1x08 Max joins Zoey for "Pressure" at the CHIRP meeting... salvaging the presentation, when she involuntarely sings the songs (cause of the "glitch"). 

Opera songs + Sex: In 2x02 Zoey & Max are distracted by Mo singing opera & it's ruining the specialness of them trying to "do the nasty" VS in 1x04 Max sings opera the morning after he & Autumn "make their first love"

It’s a very not next-level move: In 2x02 during the morning after Max & Zoey are "caught" by her mom/family, and though it is awkward for a moment (because they seem to be surprised by the sudden change), meeting the family/parents does not seem such a next-level move, because Max has been kind-of part of the family for a while already. VS 1x05 where Max tells Zoey that meeting Autum's parents (he was dating her at the time) seems like such a next-level move, and she was not ready for any of it. VS all the times we saw Max interact with Zoeys family... in 1x02 with Mitch, in 1x06 helping the family with Mitch, in 1x12 with Maggie...

2x03 Zoeys Extraordinary Dreams [+ eggs]

NASA/Space theme: Zoey's NASA/space themed PJs and Tees + all the space references in both her childhood bedroom and her current apartment (telescope, posters, etc) 

Musical nightmares/Dreams: In 2x03 Zoey is having a recurring nightmare where in the end she faces herself while the song "Nowhere to Run" plays #allbymyself VS in 1x02 Zoey was having a much happier weird dream...with a twist ending while the song "I've Got the Music in Me" plays

A sad Emma Stone Halloween costume: Black PJs Zoey wears in the nightmare in 2x03 are the same ones she wears in 2x01 on the last day of her time off. The look Mo calls "a sad Emma Stone Halloween costume" (as he suggests she put on some colours instead)

Coach & Photo on the wall: Basically the only items in the empty Clarke house during Zoeys nightmare are the coach (where Mitch used to sit all the time & where Zoey/the family sat in S1 finale...the day the music died) & the picture on the wall (where she saw Mitch reflection the first time he sang to her/communicated with her). Her nightmare/dance are directed at those objects. 

Breaking glass: In 2x03 George breaks the glass wall/window of Zoey's/The bosses office when the team plays baseball at the office VS in 1x02 Zoey breaks the glass award/throphy in Simons office when she throws the american football ball. George & Zoey aka "I'm terrible around glass" people 

On repeat: Zoey being hunted by the same nightmare/dream throughout the episode in 2x03... until she stopped trying to avoid them and talked about them/did something about it VS Zoey being haunted by the same song "(I Can't get no) Satisfaction" thoughtout episode 1x03... until she  stopped avoiding it and helped Joan. 

I can't get no sleep: Zoey not sleeping because of the nigtmares she's having VS David/Emily not getting any sleep because of the baby (most new parents are sleep-deprived, because babies don't always have the same sleep-schedule as adults do) 

Mitch's/Zoey's spot on the coach: Zoey sitting on the coach with a blank look on her face at the end of "Nowhere to Run" nightmare VS Zoey sitting on the coach with a sad look on her face at the end of "American Pie" in 1x12 [in the nightmare shes sitting at MItch's spot, in s1 finale she's looking at the empty spot next to her] 

Red dress: The red dress the OTHER Zoey is wearing in her nightmare as she opens her door VS The (same) red dress Zoey is wearing as she & her dad dance as instrumental version of "True Colours" is playing in 1x12 (as he's dying). Same dress. 

Too much on her plate: Zoey taking on too many responsibilities and not being able to handle it. In S2 she is living the post-loss stage of grief + she's taken the new promotion and added jobs and responsibilities + she is avoiding dealing with her issues + she has started a new relationship (she is not ready for, actually) + she keeps hearing heart songs which kinda help her with knowing what others feel, but it's also distracting and overwhelming to her "reducing stress is a little tricky since I've taken over the 4th floor & have 10-times the respnsibility now"]  VS in S1 she is dealing with losing her father soon + she's taken the new promotion and added job responsibilities + she is avoiding dealing with her own issues ("face her father") + she is helping people whose heart songs she hears. In S2 it kinda culminates in ep 3, in S1 it kinda culminated  in ep 8. when she says "How do I do that? Because helping myself would mean taking a vacation from Sprk Point, or curing my father's disease."

Manager advice: In 2x03 Zoey asks Simon advice about how to manage all the extra work & he tells her about delegating work (sharing responsibiities) VS in 1x02  Zoey asks/gets help from Simon on how to manage the team (and still get to go home on time/get all the work done on time) 

Not the right person to help: In 2x03 Zoey wants to hep her mom, but she feels like she's not the right person to do that, because she has no insight into the topic (does not know anything about landscaping & art) + she would probbly not have the time or energy right now, cause she has so much other things going on... VS in 1x11 she wants to help her mom, but feels since she has no personal experience (has not lost a husband of 4-years), she is not the right person to help her. Both times a heart-song heps her find the right person (in her opinion) for the job. In 2x03 it's Jenna, in 1x11 it was Deb. 

No communication: In S2 & 2x03 Zoey is not really opening up to Max, but she is communicating her feelings to him...somewhat. Telling him about her nightmares/dreams, and that they're affecting her. Though not really going too much into the experience (because she hopes they will magically disappear if she wishes they will...) VS In S1 Zoey avoided opening up to Max & sharing her feelings with him more. Though she still uses the same tactics - trying to keep it all inside, and avoid dealing with her feelings and grief and everything related to it (hoping that if she avoids it then it doesn't exist...even if she probably knows that this is not how any of it works). She's trying to share a bit more with him, her best friend, but at the same time she is still bottling it all up inside...

My heart song does not mean what you think it means: In 2x03 Max says to Zoey after she hears a heart song from him (which he assumes might be that he is "jealous" that she talks to Simon, her grief-buddy at work about her personal life & nightmares) that "People can have a lot of thoughts in their heads without meaning them. / You can't read into it." VS Zoey's quote: "I don't know what that song is saying exactly what we think its saying" & "You can't be mad at me for singing a song I didn't mean to sing" in 1x08. 

Dinner Date gone wrong: In 2x03 Max tries to cook a home-made dinner for Zoey (at her mom's place), but when she hears him singing a heart song it leads to an "argument" between the two and he leaves VS in 1x10 Simon tries to cook a home-made dinner for Zoey (at his new place), but when she hears him singing a heart song it leads to an "argument" and her leaving. 

PS. Based on Zoey's reaction the song is either "Say Something" (because a person sings theei song until Zoey responds/helps..and she only did at the end of the episode) OR it's a reprise of a certain song fro S1 (but if I'm right not a song you'd expect) OR ... it's a completely different song... that we would not expect. And based on Zoeys reaction & the shows choice not to show/tell us the song... it has to be a "surprise", and if it would be simply "he's feeling jealous over Z/S grief connection" or if it was "Say Something"...that would  not be a twist, but since I expect this to be setting up a future story, it'd be not very creative writing if it was one of these options. Which is why I have a theory... (I'm not sure about the song... I'm not even sure the showrunner/writer has decided yet... but I have a guess on the "theme/feelings")

Timing is off: In 2x03 Zoey & Max decide to put their new relationship on hold until she is ready...to give her time to grieve and work through the emotions VS in 1x10 Zoey & Simon decide to put breaks on their relationshop-to-be until he is ready... to give him time to work through his emotions.

Say Something/Happier: In S2/2x03 Zoey & Max are in a relationhip, but they do  not communicate well. Because she does not open up to him about her grief & "he does  not know how to help cause he has not had the same experience" VS in S1/1x05-1x09 Simon & Jessica are in a relationship, but they do not communicate well. Because he does not open up to her about his grief & she does not know how to help cause she has not had the same experience. 

While there are similarieties in the storylines, there are also differences. S/J let the third party in the relationship, grief, get between them and it drove them apart, cause they stayed together until it broke them apart. Z/M came to a mature decision to not let the third party in the relationship defy them, they took a break so the grief would not end up breaking them apart. 

PS. While we've ony seen the start of this storyline, I do believe that this is where it's going. They're not gonna repeat S/Js mistake, but instead they will "learn from it", and by deciding to take some time now they will be ready to continue where they left off once she's ready. Cause they both made the false assumption in 2x01 that she was ready. They were heading toward S/J, but theyre kinda trying to avoid that by the decisoon in 2x03.

Grief therapist: In S2 Simon is Zoey's grief councelor/therapist... he gives solid advice to her about her grief and how to deal with her feelings/emotions VS In S1 Zoey was Simon's grief councelor/therapist...she gave him often pretty solid advice about grief and how to deal with the situations. The roles have reversed.

   Mind-reader: In 2x03 Max brings up the topic that he is unconfortable how Zoey can just "read his mind" and know everything he thinks & feels (have insight into how he feels...also about her), while he has no idea what she thinks/how she feels...because she won't really share. VS 2x02 When in Act 5 he says he'd like to know what she's thinking/feeling & she tells him what she's feeling VS 1x07 when Max bring up the fact that he is uncomfortable with her knowing how he thinks while he has no insight into her mind (after which she promises 100% honesty to him.... that she'll be open with him... which to this day she has not been able to really do) VS 1x04 when Mo expresses concern that she can read other people thoughts & he's not okay with her having insight into his private thoughts & feelings. 

Time apart: In 2x03 Zoey puts some space between herself & Max, when they agree to take a break, cause she's not done grieving/not ready for a relationship VS In 1x02 Zoey puts space between her & Max when she sets him up with their barista in the previous episode (because she is not ready to let herself even consider  romantic path between them, so she "fixes it")

THE END...for now

#ZEP #ZOEY'S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST #SPOILER #ZOEYS PLAYLIST #LIST POST #LONG POST #TEXT POST #CLARKEMAN #ZOMAX #ZAX #detained #PARALLELS #ZEP S1 #S1 vs S2 #ZEP S2

[replaykoo]

📁 ᨳ how I study in college :

⠀˒⠀ methods and tipps that might be helpful

# contents

taking notes

organizing your note

reading texts

how to structure a study session

useful apps

more

𖥻 taking notes

I guess the most important thing when studying is how to take your notes. I know there are quite many note taking methods and I’ve tried a few of them (like the one where you section your paper in two collums etc) but usually they just didn’t rly work for me and made things more complicated.

So the question you have to ask yourself is why you even take notes ! Usually that’s for write down key elements from a textbook, lecture etc to remember them later. And for that your notes should be simple, structured and easy to read/understand. A big chunk of words won’t rly help you (imo)

So here’s how I do it. I take „smart notes“. (learned that method from a yt video by mariana‘s study corner). You basically translate bigger ideas/concepts into single sentences. (Or multiple grammatically easy ones). The key is just to make them as simple as possible so you can quickly read over them and understand what the concept explains.

so I keep my sentences simple

one sentence per line / bullet point

I do use → , =, + or similar symbols to add mini sentences and show connections

𖥻 organizing your notes

I’d say if you can, it’s best to take your notes digitally. It’s easy to move things around and re-organize, keep things in sections/categories and you can ofc edit it afterwards if you need to. My fav programm is OneNote bcs you can make great folders, sections, books, sub-pages etc. But notion is also a great alternative (both are free)

I personally have my notes sorted like this :

- major

- minor

course 1

course 2

course 3

lesson week 1

lesson week 2

→ lecture (notes)

→ lecture powerpoint/ dossier

→ literature + notes

→ questions I have or additional info the teacher gave during the q&a session

I’m sure there are many other great organizing systems but this one works quite good for me so far.

𖥻 reading texts

When reading from textbook or just texts that have structured paragraphs I always read the paragraph FIRST and highlight the key word(s) later. This is rly useful if yours someone who tends to just highlight the whole page. It forces you to think about what the key word/concept was. (With paragraphs I mean about 10-ish sentences. Doing any more is kinda a waste of time bcs you’ll have to go back all the time. So keep the chunks small)

While reading & highlighting I don’t take my notes yet. I finish a sub-chapter or topic and then go back and take my notes (like explained above) I find this useful bcs you’ll already know more about the concept/topic when you’re taking your notes, instead of just summarizing the text as you go.

𖥻 how to structure a study session

For study I use the pomodoro technique. You study for 25 min, then take a 5 min break. Then study again, break, study, break .... After 4 study sessions you can take a longer break (15min)

To plan my weeks/days I made a weekly schedule for myself where I marked live lectures/zoom webinars, when I watch lecture recordings, read my literature, do weekly assignments & exercises, study sessions, weekly deadlines and just stuff that usually happens weekly. Since my college is 90% online I can plan all my time as I want to so I made my own schedule.

If you have exams upcoming it’s also a great idea to make a study plan. For that I take a monthly overview and mark my exams BiG in a specific color. Then in the sams color I write down what exercises etc I wanna do each day. (Make sure to mark these smaller or in a different way than the exam so it’s super obvious when the exam will be ans you don’t get confused) If you have multiple exams in a short period this method is super useful. Use different colors for each subject/course

I used to make these on paper (and not digitally) so I just made myself a 7:4 grid and marked the days. I colored the exam day all in the color of the subject. For the study notes each day I just highlighted them in the specific color

𖥻 useful apps & websites

For the pomodoro technique I mentioned earlier I use a website called pomofucus.io ! It’s basically a timer

I also heard a lot about this app called forest ! It’s a study timer that helps you to stay focused and off your phone. It costs 2$ tho

For my weekly plan I use the free google calendar ! You can make color codes categories and the design is rly nice in my opinion.

If you need to study vocabulary I can only recommend quizlet !! They have an app & website both free. I’ve been using it for >6 years and it’s helped me so much through highschool. It has different study modes like flashcards, learning-mode, quiz etc. You can also study sets that other people made, so if you wanna study just some random vocab you can look through these. I’ve found some of the textbooks I used so this saved me quite some time.

Also don’t underestimate study or 101 YouTube channels. I usually looked for some explanation YouTube videos for subjects like physics or chemistry and they always helped me a lot.

𖥻 more

I know sometimes you jsut don’t feel like sitting down to study. Studying is hard sometimes. But procrastinating isn’t the solution. Just think about how you’ll feel the next day. If you put off your work on the next day that means you HAVE TO DO IT the next day. But do you think you’ll be more motivated the next day? Probably not, right ... So just do the work as soon as possible. Your future self will thank you.

𖥻 ending notes

So, I hope you could learn a big from this. These are in no way perfect methods but I think they’re quite practical and helpful. Also feel free to comment if you know other great methods !! I’m always open to try out new stuff c:

Let me know if you liked this guide and what other things you’d like to see on my blog ◡̈

໑ see you next time ✧ またね ഒ

[fmstevie]

              *    ╰              waddup   y’all   ruby’s   back   2   annoy   u   all   w   a   lil   british   fuckboi   action   .   here’s   stevie   ,   inspired   by   matty   healy   n   thinkin   she’s   a   god   among   men   .   i   don’t   recommend   u   read   on   but   in   case   u   do   i   pray   u   forgive   me   enough   2   want   plots   w   that   like   button   .   🤡

                new   york’s   very   own      𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐄   ‘   𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐘   ’   𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐄            was   spotted   on   broadway   street   in   doc   marten   smooth   leather   chelsea   boots      .   your   resemblance   to   diana   silvers   is   unreal   .   according   to   tmz   ,   you   just   had   your   twenty   -   second      birthday   bash   .   while   living   in   nyc   ,   you’ve   been   labeled   as   being         𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐬   ,   but   also   𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞   .   i   guess   being   a   cancer      explains   that   .   3   things   that   would   paint   a   better   picture   of   you   would   be      erudite   inclinations   informed   by   a   god   complex   ,      melodrama   as   your   magnum   opus   ,   &   the   world’s   most   secretive   love   life         .               (   i   had   a   secret   marriage   that   lasted   6   months   but   ended   due   to   my   fear   of   my   family’s   mafia   ties   getting   in   the   way   .         )      &      (   cis   female   &   she   /   her      )

𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆      :      stephanie   charlotte   greystone 𝒏𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔      :            primarily   stevie   ,   although   her   stage   name   is   ‘   grey   ‘   which   has   caught   on   as   a   go-to   nickname   .   takes   little   to   nothing   else   wilingly 𝒂𝒈𝒆      :            twenty   -   two 𝒛𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒄      :      cancer    𝒐𝒄𝒄𝒖𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏      :      professional   musician   with   a   voiceclaim   of   lorde   ,   on   temporary   hiatus   to   write   grey3   .   casual   photographer 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓      𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒕𝒚      /      𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒔      :      cis      female      /      she      her      hers 𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏      :      pansexual   w   strong   female   pref   but   tbh   if   u   can   handle   her   energy   she’ll   b   down   WKERWJER 𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕      :      5’10  🤤 𝒍𝒂𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒔      :      the   hedonist   ,         the      aesthete      ,      the      opaque   ,      the      vainglorious      ,      the      prodigy      ,      the      intangible   concept       𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒈      𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒔      :      rhiannon      -      fleetwood   mac      /      WHAT   U   CALL   THAT      -      chase   atlantic    /      iceberg      -      borns      /      UGH      -         the      1975     /      boss   bitch      -      doja   cat      /      elephant      -      tame   impala     /      black   hole   sun      -      soundgarden      /      black   madonna      -      cage   the   elephant      /         this   charming   man      -      the   smiths     /      swim      -      chase   atlantic      /      1999   WILDFIRE         -      brockhampton

tw      drug   mention

𝒊.  𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏.

there   is   perhaps   no   more   a   formidable   surname   in   the   organized   crime   circuit   in   all   of   europe   than   greystone   ,   a   name   risen   to   fame   through   countless   court   cases   and   highly   publicized   trials   .   dubbed   ‘   el   chapo   of   the   old   world   ,   ‘   liam   greystone   makes   his   reputation   known   as   a   ruthless   and   conniving   leader   of   a   million   dollar   cartel   business   ,   distributing   to   most   of   the   UK   and   eastern   europe   .   it’s   perhaps   an   even   greater   shock   to   find   even   as   public   enemy   #1   ,   he   takes   a   welsh   wife   by   the   name   of   marissa   and   weds   her   in   a   lavish   and   very   public   ceremony   ,   surmounting   crowds   not   unlike   those   of   the   royal   weddings   .   such   a   decision   is   a   clear   power   move   on   his   part   ,   flexing   the   pure   influence   it   would   require   to   have   such   a   public   family   life   with   no   fear   of   repercussion   from   rivals   or   enemies   .   

it’s   several   months   following   their   wedding   that   james   is   born   ,   with   nicholas   taking   a   few   years   after   .   elite   prep   schools   in   the   most   posh   london   neighborhoods   were   abuzz   with   equal   parts   curiosity   and   concern   to   be   sharing   streets   with   the   most   feared   mafia   family   in   their   whole   country   ,   though   the   elite   nature   of   liam’s   new   societal   presence   meant   he   took   to   his   ‘   dealings   ‘   with   a   but   more   subtlety   than   before   his   rise   to   power   .   something   of   a   media   frenzy   ,   it’s   the   talk   of   the   town   when   marissa   falls   pregnant   another   time   ,   nearly   a   decade   after   nicholas’s   birth   ,   this   time   with   a   baby   girl   ,   something   that’s   all   the   sun   and   mirror   can   seem   to   post   about   in   their   celebrity   tabloids   section   for   weeks   on   end   .   her   birth   raises   questions   of   immense   speculation   :   what   will   the   world   do   with   a   greystone   girl   ?

as   it   would   result   ,   they’d   worship   her   .   stevie   found   herself   raised   in   a   world   that   sought   her   out   at   every   turn   ,   cameras   pointed   towards   her   at   every   outing   .   james   and   nick   ,   now   teens   by   the   time   she   enters   primary   and   just   as   big   of   terrors   as   their   father   ,   view   their   lavish   lifestyle   as   the   result   of   some   bigger   destiny   for   greatness   ,   as   their   father   had   always   fed   to   them   ,   something   they   passed   on   to   their   baby   sister   who   took   it   as   her   mantra   .   one   of   the   earliest   manifestations   of   a   rather   intense   personality   ,   stevie   takes   this   to   an   extreme   ,   turning   her   unwanted   stardom   into   a   fuel   for   an   ever-increasing   god   complex   to   develop   .   the   apple   of   her   father’s   eye   and   every   bit   as   quick   ,   her   instructors   note   a   dedication   to   perfection   and   an   obsession   with   accomplishment   ,   along   with   a   natural   intelligence   that   leads   her   to   blast   through   her   studies   with   relative   ease   .   

she’s   just   16   when   she   completes   her   schooling   and   already   has   a   reputation   that   will   precede   her   ,   just   as   her   surname   had   before   .   relaxed   and   observant   ,   her   voice   never   peaks   higher   than   a   low   alto   with   her   charming   londoner   drawl   ,   a   facade   never   cracking   from   her   knowing   poker   face   .   there’s   something   about   being   so   above   everyone   (   even   if   it   is   a   self-imposed   superiority   )   that   leads   stevie   all   but   to   the   brink   of   isolation   ,   finding   solace   only   in   the   words   of   a   self-deluded   father   and   her   own   scribings   in   a   leather   bound   notebook   .   piano   lessons   since   early   childhood   lend   themselves   to   melodies   following   melodies   ,   and   before   she’s   even   able   to   legally   drink   ,   she’s   released   her   first   album   under   the   moniker   ‘   grey   ’   titling   it   pure   heroine   as   a   cheeky   nod   to   the   inevitable   accusations   of   it   being   her   family   ties   that   got   her   a   record   deal   .   but   as   streams   of   the   melancholy   tunes   begin   to   pick   up   fans   worldwide   ,   the   album’s   themes   of   isolation   ,   abandonment   ,   and   wasted   youth   hit   harder   than   ever   anticipated   from   the   youngest   greystone   .   she   leaves   home   to   tour   the   world   with   the   album   reaching   #1   in   countless   countries   ,   forging   her   own   path   with   a   maturity   beyond   her   years   and   a   vision   beyond   this   world   .   

    the   tour   ends   and   she’s   smitten   by   the   charm   of   new   york   ,   opting   to   move   to   continue   to   pursue   her   music   away   from   the   tangled   complications   of   family   life   in   england   .   barely   18   and   perhaps   intoxicated   with   the   loneliness   of   a   life   spent   in   the   watching   eye   of   others   ,   the   semblance   of   privacy   is   something   she   takes   to   like   an   addict   ,   exasperating   prying   paparazzi   with   her   notorious   refusal   to   comment   on   details   of   her   personal   life   .   she   builds   a   wall   between   herself   and   the   world   ,   keeping   out   prying   eyes   with   a   tight   -   lipped   grin   .   its   at   this   time   that   she   lets   the   first   person   into   her   life   perhaps   ever   ,   a   whirlwind   romance   so   intoxicating   it   results   in   a   courthouse   marriage   done   in   secret   .   never   to   be   seen   together   ,   never   a   word   spoken   to   anyone   else   ,   stevie   relishes   in   the   secret   which   is   soon   to   sour   upon   the   passing   of   their   honeymoon   phase   .   with   her   brothers   expanding   their   reach   into   the   US   for   their   unsavory   dealings   ,   it’s   not   long   after   her   marriage   begins   that   the   conflicts   reach   a   breaking   point   ,   an   annulment   following   barely   6   months   after   they   had   traded   ‘   i   do’s   .   ’

she   takes   to   the   studio   with   a   new   resentment   of   the   concept   of   love   and   even   more   sequestered   heart   ,   producing   melodrama   which   takes   the   world   by   storm   ,   snagging   her   a   grammy   win   for   album   of   the   year   .   fatigued   from   the   constant   go-around   of   keeping   her   secrets   her   own   except   for   when   they’re   taken   to   radio   streams   ,   she   does   a   limited   tour   for   melodrama   and   lands   herself   right   back   in   new   york   at   20   ,   putting   grey3   on   the   backburner   as   she   takes   to   all   the   hedonistic   engagements   she   had   indulged   herself   in   during   her   time   on   tour   .   she’s   kept   herself   busy   between   mindless   flings   and   days-long   benders   with   hobbies   such   as   photography   and   writing   ,   the   former   of   which   is   building   her   a   rather   impressive   reputation   in   the   arts   world   .   

𝒊𝒊.  𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 .

if   y’all   ain’t   tired   of   me   yet   god   bless   u   .   ..   .   bc   i   straight   up   b   tired   of   myself   :/

anyways   dis   is   stevie   ,   also   accepts   grey   the   same   way   ppl   talk   abt   lorde   n   switch   between   ella   n   lorde   !   she’s   not   picky   :~)

major   inspos   are   matty   healy   from   the   1975   n   hayley   kiyoko   if   she   was   less   of   a   try   hard   .   little   bit   of   kristen   stewart   in   there   ,   big   2016   ruby   rose   energy   n   brie   larson   top   me   tomfoolery   as   well   !   

basically   da   fuckboi   of   ur   dreams   ..      ..   .   lil   devilish   londoner   who   stays   thinkin   she’s   the   closest   thing   to   a   god   on   this   green   earth   !

notably   ,   she’s   incredibly   intelligent   and   profound   ,   tends   to   take   on   a   rather   patronizing   and   condescending   tone   bc   she   straight   up   b   thinkin   she’s   usually   the   smartest   person   in   the   room   (   how   annoying   )

so   laid   back   n   observant   ,   rlly   has   no   need   to   raise   her   voice   ever   bc   her   arguments   b   runnin   circles   around   ppl   !   imagine   the   way   harry   styles   talks   low   n   slow   n   calculated.   .   .   .   .   cameron   from   love   is   blind   ,.   ..   .      kristen   stewart   lowkey   sometimes   ..   ..   ..   das   grey   .    sexy   ass   alto   monotone  🤤🤤

i   dont   wanna   use   chaotic   bc   she   rlly   isnt   the   WILDEST   bitch   but   that   god   complex   means   she   deadass   thinks   she   can   get   away   w   what   she   wants   n   she   usually   does   ?   less   of   a   chaotic   evil   n   more   like   a   neutral   evil   lmao   she   can   follow   rules   just   fine   she   jsut   prefers   whatever   suits   her   better

on   that   note   —   OBSCENELY   self   obsessed   .   follows   her   own   natural   whims   n   impulses   bc   that’s   just   what   appeals   to   her   .   is   inclined   to   follow   rules   if   she   calculates   itll   work   in   her   favor   bc   she   also   doesn’t   like   to   look   sloppy   !

super   secretive   and   OBSESSED   w   her   presentation   .   every   movement   is   calculated   n   she   doesnt   want   anyone   seeing   a   side   of   her   that   she   hasn’t   designated   for   them   !   she   doesn’t   care   what   other   ppl   think   but   she   DOES   care   abt   what   she   sees   herself   doing   n   her   vision   .   doesnt   fit   the   vision   ?   will   NOT   happen   in   her   book   .

straight   up   a   WHORRE   lmao   she   likes   2   fill   the   void   left   by   a   lack   of   human   connection   w   sexual   intimacy   n   then   is   like   nice   imma   have   u   leave   now   love   LMAO   .   does   not   discriminate   and   is   rlly   inclined   to   follow   any   sexual   impulse

this   was   implied   but   her   relationships   are   super   messy   ?   does   the   leonardo   dicaprio   thing   where   she   will   never   fuckin   discuss   her   love   life   in   interviews   or   anything   so   ppl   just   gotta   SPECULATE   .   she   lets   ppl   post   all   they   want   abt   her   but   she   wont   say   a   WORD   abt   them   JWHEKJWH   her   socials   r   basically   just   abt   her   n   her   music   we   said   SELFISH   lads   .   she’s   bad   @   bein   tied   down   n   is   probs   polyamorous   as   it   stands   but   im   p   sure   she   has   cheated   on   every   single   person   she   has   ever   been   with   lmao

lowkey   a   shit   friend   most   of   the   time   lMAO   she   can   b   really   unreliable   bc   u   guys   can   have   plans   n   then   she   takes   someone   home   n   misses   yalls   plans   n   then   texts   u   4   hours   later   after   all   ur   missed   calls   n   is   like   my   bad   bruv   i   got   tied   up   AS   IF   THAT   FIXES   IT   KWEJKWJEKWE

chain   smoker   n   its   nastie   but   lowkey   sexy   somehow   :/  ,   will   ONLY   wear   outfits   that   r   equal   parts   thrifted   n   designer   ,   always   has   her   hands   in   her   pockets   n   if   her   jacket   has   a   hood   its   UP   like   a   big   ole   homo   ,   is   rlly   annoying   bc   shes   good   looking   n   KNOWS   it   so   she   uses   it   to   her   advantage   ,   wants   2   get   her   motorcycle   license   ,   judges   u   based   off   the   music   u   play   in   the   car   ,   judges   u   on   everything   tbh.

#wealthyhq:intro #* ╰ . 𝒔 . 𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒏𝒆 . › introduction . #sorry 4 dis trash hittin the dash 🥰 #just COULD NOT wait n format any longer

[mingi-bubu]

A Subpar Guide To Unine

I was inspired by this video, their new album coming out on May 6, 2020, and also yanjuniverse saying something about not knowing them and wondering if there was a guide or something so yeah!

anyway please enjoy my nonsense it’s fun and there are a lot of songs and performances that I recommend looking at!

if anything is unclear, send me a message or something!  i just want everyone to love Unine

Unine is the second nine member group to be created by Idol Producer/Youth With You/QCYN/whatever you want to call the competition show.  The group is made up of Li Wenhan, Li Zhenning, Yao Mingming, Guanyue or Guan Yue, Jiayi, Hu Chunyang, Xia Hanyu, Chen Youwei, and He Changxi.

The official fandom name is Nano.  Unine debuted with their EP 《UNLOCK》 on May 6, 2019.  Their album 《U-Night Flight》 will be coming out on their one year anniversary May 6, 2020.

As someone commented on YouTube under one of their videos, I can’t remember which one please don’t ask, they are a more vocal line leaning group whereas Nine Percent was more rap line leaning.  I think it’s neat to see the contrast between what people want to see in any given year and how different their music styles are.

Some members have been in or are currently in other groups as well, so you may see some familiar names if you don’t know Unine (yet ;})

Members:

Li Wenhan

Final Rank: 1

Leader, Center, Main Vocalist, Lead Dancer, Sub Rapper, Face of the Group

‘94 Liner

A Cancer with his birthday being July 22

Yuehua Entertainment boy

Representative Animal: Shiba Inu

A member of the Sino-Korean boygroup Uniq

There his position is Vocalist

He is fluent in Chinese, Korean, and English

His nickname is Hanhan

He is also an actor and owns 2 cats and a corgi

He says that every time he’s working on a new project he adopts another cat or dog

He is very caring towards his younger trainees and is always looking out for them

Neighboring Tarzan was a good performance of his and it also contains 5/9 Unine members so that’s pretty frickin cool tbh

His audition stage was Uniq’s “Monster” and it was a great performance like Minghao and Jolin were jamming along to it

also the flower petals at the end that they then had to clean up killed me it was a beautiful effect but ill planned with the consequences

“gui-ze” meme stemmed from this performance

please let this tired man rest

He studied in the US but then left to focus on his music career

He has a great singing voice and is always ready to help his members and he is just a good leader wow

Li Zhenning

Final Rank: 2

Lead Dancer, Lead Vocalist, Lead Rapper, Face of the Group

‘95 Liner

He is a Scorpio (like me!!) with his birthday being November 5

BG Project boy

Representative Animal: Koala

Nicknames include Shenshen and Black Pearl due to his tanned skin

He has a cat named Aoao who is a little over a year old now I think maybe?

He didn’t get noticed until his Retreat performance where he pulls his tie

He used to be one of those people who was like “this person is actually quite good; nothing’s wrong with him, but I can’t remember him” and like he considered himself like that and him debuting at the no. 2 spot was really well deserved and i am so proud

This is also the performance where he rapped and he spent so much time practicing for it and it was successful and I am just really proud of him bc he leans more as a vocal and was really struggling and wanted to make sure he did it right and i’m jsut really proud i love himso mcuh

His dancing in this stage was unmatched by anyone else there (and this sounds biased because i am)

Li Zhenning vs Li Shenshen

on stage mans is focused and completely undaunted and carries sexier concepts well

off stage mans is baby boy. baby.  he’s goofy and adorable and i love hiim so much

compares himself to a koala because “especially [his] nose shape is similar…and [his] eyes look blurred…[and he’s] sleepy all the time”

we stan a short king (he’s 5′9 which yeah, is taller than me, but still)

He dances so well and just owns any stage he is on

Rebuild is one of my favorite stages hes done and coincidentally has 5/9 members of Unine in it, though they didn’t know at the time of course

He was incredible during this stage like ugh i didn’t have a bias bc he was there, Mingming was there, Changxi was there, i had no way of surviving

Hair Color King

He had a blue-lavender color during Rebuilt, in Unine’s Set It Off mv he had blue, he’s had black and blond and he’s rocked all of them

Yao Mingming

Final Rank: 3

Main Dancer, Lead Vocalist, Sub Rapper

‘97 Liner

He is a Capricorn with his birthday being January 5

One Cool Jasco Entertainment boy

Representative Animal: Cat

He had been a trainee for six, almost 7 years, when he debuted with Unine

He had several near debuts including with Seventeen

Speaks Chinese and Korean

Because of this, he was very closed off at first with the other trainees and eventually had to have a talk with Zhang Yixing PD

The gist of the conversation was that Mingming was sort of…doubting, I guess you could say, his talents and Yixing told him to treat the show as if he were a new trainee

This led to Mingming becoming more open with the other trainees and more confident in his talents and skills and it really showed and I was really happy he was able to debut bc he deffo deserved it

Mingming’s gray and floral suit in the Rebuild stage is something i think about on a weekly basis at least it’s a really good look for him guys

also just the confidence and cockiness he has during this stage i love to see it

He also has an opportunity to really show off his dancing skills and i loved it for him

He can do imitations really well and likes to imitate Hanyu a lot

think Yesungie and Eunhyuk except accurate

He has very feline features

this has nothing to do with anything he’s just really really pretty

is it because i am biased?  perhaps

Guan Yue

Final Rank: 4

Lead Dancer, Lead Vocalist, Sub Rapper

‘94 Liner

He’s a Capricorn with his birthday being January 16

Cast Planet Entertainment boy

Representative Animal: Rabbit

The leader of XII Constellations as a whole and the subunit The Wind

12C is a CPE group with a concept of having four 3-member units, each focusing on a different music style

The Wind focuses on bright and upbeat music and was the first to debut in 2017

Currently there are only six members of 12C

He knows sign language as both of his parents are deaf and when the trainees are allowed to call home, we see him talking with his mother

He has a lot of love and respect for his mother and it shows

His goal in life is to make enough money to support his family so they don’t have to work

I love Guan Yue’s “Turn Up” stage like the cockyness and confidence he has is fantastic i love to see it

his costume is also pretty good esp considering what the trainees sometimes have to wear

also Shenshen and Mingming are in it as well

His performance in Ugly Beauty was incredible also

I loved his Neighboring Tarzan performance bc he was able to include his dialect in his rap part and I love when trainees are able to bring more of themselves into a performance

I want him and Chen Linong to collab bc he was essentially idp2′s Nongnong with the infectious smile and incredible stage presence

the cutie, sweetie, angel, sweetheart, etc. of the group and of the show’s run

Jiayi

Final Rank: 5

Lead Dancer, Lead Rapper, Lead Vocalist, Visual

‘98 Liner

He’s a Cancer with his birthday being July 14

Star Master Entertainment boy

Representative Animal: Bear

Is a member of Mr. Tyger

There he held the roles of Visual, Lead Vocalist, Sub Rapper, and Youngest

One of his nicknames is Little Star

He can play the saxophone

His favorite part of his body are his eyebrows, which, valid

Jolin Tsai’s Xukun

So like y’kno how Yixing was a fan of Xukun the moment he saw him?  Jolin was a fan of Jiayi the minute she saw him

The “Ugly Beauty” performance was certainly something to witness

Jiayi as a blond was a fantastic look and i miss it.  a lot.

like Neighboring Tarzan was very good look for him even tho the stage costumes were a little a lot extra

his dance was great and bitch got them body rolls on lock

Jiayi vs Huang Jiaxin

on stage focused, determined, owns it

off stage he’s a giant goofball and i love him so much

hes like unfairly handsome but thankfully likes to make dumb faces

somehow he still stays pretty its upsetting at times

Hu Chunyang

Final Rank: 6

Main Raper, Sub Vocalist, Youngest

‘99 Liner (like me!!)

He’s an Aquarius with his birthday being February 5

Yuehua boy

Representative Animal: Golden Retriever

Nickname is Yangyang

Was one of those nerds who would rather stay behind in class and finish their work than go and eat or whatever

Mad respect tho bc i am too when i am at campus dkfja;lsdk

At his audition stage, he covered Wang Yibo’s rap in Uniq’s “Monster” and honestly who is doing it better than him?

I want to see him and Justin interact so bad they had to have they’re both YH boys

@ YueHua let me please have this

Yangyang in the Neighboring Tarzan performance really emphasized how great he is at rapping

he seems at first like a shy and introverted guy but is a mean and grouchy little man when you get to know him

i love to see it

older trainees were always looking out for him

he has a really stable rap voice

Xia Hanyu

Final Rank: 7

Main Vocalist, Sub Rapper

‘97 Liner

Gemini as his birthday is June 11

Show City Times boy

Representative Animal: Wolf

He can play the piano incredibly well and also plays the guitar

His first impression was that of “the big bad wolf

However when he gets more comfortable with the group, he becomes a big softie and his smile compels me to smile

Still uses his dark looks to his advantage thoooo

he was being dramatic and mean once and then like after saying his ‘insult’ immediately cracked and started laughing and hiding his face

HIGH NOTE KING

shenshen in response to a performance said he immediately got goosebumps

Neighboring Tarzan was a great way for him to show off his high notes imo

He had red hair one time and I miss it a lot bc it looked good

Chen Youwei

Final Rank: 8

Lead Rapper, Visual, Sub Vocalist

‘98 Liner

He is a Cancer with his birthday being July 7

Ciwen Media boy

Representative Animal: Pig

Attended Zhejiang Sci-Tech University and majored in fashion

He can play the guitar

He modeled and is also an actor, having been in several cdramas

The most notable of these is “Story of Yanxi Palace” where he played 5th Prince

He was greeted as such by the other trainees when he walked into the room

He’s also a scholar and this was shown in a rap he had created during the show

mans is the donghae of unine

in that they’re teased for how they speak

his mandarin is bad and donghae’s korean is bad

his rapping is good and he seems like a real sweetheart

mans also likes to munch, saying he can eat 5 meals a day

He Changxi

Final Rank: 9

Main Dancer, Lead Vocalist

‘97 Liner

He is a Sagittarius with his birthday being November 24

OACA Entertainment boy

Representative Animal: Lesser, or Red, Panda

His English name is Jerry and I deeply hate how much it fits him

His nicknames include Xixi and Yong Ri Didi

He loves a good ginger foot bath

Like it was such a well known fact that Yixing even asked him about it once

He wasn’t really noticed until his performance in Fire which is especially impressive considering that his performance wasn’t filmed in front of an audience but instead one of the practice rooms

there was a competition between two teams for each song and the winning team would get to perform on stage in front of the youth producers

Xixi really looked so fierce and confident in the Rebuild stage I was so proud

He also did a dance cover of EXO’s “Love Shot” and if you’ve been following me for a minute you know that i love EXO’s music and it was great to see

his killing part was also a reoccuring meme

Mingming loves teasing him and it’s so funny

Suggested Videos of their IDP Days: (flashing lights warning)

Wenhan and Chunyang’s Audition Stage

Wenhan + Mingming React to “gui-ze” Trainee Compilation

《后退 Retreat》  – Zhenning Focus

《后退 Retreat》  – Stage Performance  

《重塑 Rebuild》  – Zhenning Focus

《重塑 Rebuild》  – Concept Evaluation

《重塑 Rebuild》 – Mingming Focus

Mingming + Yixing’s Talk

Mingming + Impressions

《 青春有你 Turn Up》 – Guan Yue Focus

《 青春有你 Turn Up》 – Stage Performance

Jolin Tsai + Her Favorite Trainee

《怪美的 Ugly Beauty》 – Mentor Stage

《隔壁泰山 Neighboring Tarzan》 – Stage Performance

Hanyu’s Audition Stage

Hanyu’s Introduction Video

Hanyu Playing Guitar + Singing

《一笑倾城 One Alluring Smile》 – Stage Performance

EXO “Love Shot” Dance Cover – Changxi

《 骑士精神 Chivalry》 – Changxi Focus

《火 Fire》 – Changxi Focus

UNINE Videos: (flashing lights warning)

《春日記憶 Memories of Spring》 – My favorite song by them, this is the lyrics video in Chi/Pinyin/Eng

《春日記憶 Memories of Spring》 – This is the performance from their fan meeting I believe.  The choreo is so beautiful and I want an MV like last week.

《春日記憶 Memories of Spring》 – This is their performance from the Reedit Stage.

《SET IT OFF》 – official MV.  There’s a lot of jumping out of windows, Guan Yue has purple hair, Shenshen has blue hair, and Jiayi and Xixi look great.  The song is a bop, there’s a nautical theme, what more could you ask for?  A coherent plot for an MV???  Overrated.  It’s essentially Unine’s 《RULE BREAKER》.  It’s from their second mini album “Unusual”.

《SET IT OFF》 – This is a live performance at the Mnet Asian Music Awards.  I have a bone or two to pick with the sound editor of the video  but they deliver a fantastic performance.  I like their choreo a lot and it’s more clearly able to be seen on the live stage.

《BOMBA》 – official MV.  Their first single I believe.  Very colorful and fun, the song matches the vibe of the MV.  Mingming’s iconic holding a geometric hanging light like a pear is from this MV.  Hanyu also spends half the MV wrecking my bias.  If I had more braincells I would do an analysis of the MV but alas.

《BOMBA》 – From the Reedit Stage.

《官方直拍 Like A Gentleman》  – Live performance from their fan meeting.  I really like this song and the costumes for stage are stripey and I love stripes.  The lights and screen in the background are in neons and it kind of gives the performance a nostalgic feeling and it’s just a really cute song.

《官方直拍 Like A Gentleman》 – The lyrics video in Chi/Pinyin/English.  The song is really cute you guys and Changxi and Mingming are great in it.

Videos From the Other Groups the Members Are In:

《 爱的就是你 Love Is You》 – XII Constellations: The Wind ft. Liu Jia

《 燃烧吧，拳头 Burn, Fists》 – XII Constellations: The Fire [flashing lights warning]

Note: this doesn’t have Guan Yue but I decided to put it in here to really exemplify the concept that 12C is about.  Also the song lowkey pops off and reminds me of my emo phase

《Monster》 – Uniq (Chinese version)

《EOEO》 – Uniq (Chinese version) [flashing lights warning]

《 钛戈 》 – Mr. Tyger [flashing lights warning]

《夜空悬浮》 – Mr. Tyger [flashing lights warning]

Sources: KProfiles, [Eng Sub] Intro to UNINE Members, various performances, and the show itself.  If I have given any incorrect information, please let me know and I will rectify it immediately.

#unine #idol producer #youth with you #ywy #cpop #jiayi #li wenhan #li zhenning #yao mingming #guan yue #hu chunyang #xia hanyu #chen youwei #he changxi #hanhan #shenshen #mingming #yangyang #hanyu #youwei #xixi #jae text #subpar guide to unine #xiao xingxing

[dragonlobertmab]

A very deep and thoughtful conversation I had with a small child on TF2

Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: La sucky player vs some pretty good players Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: this wont end well for me ★Cookie★ was automatically assigned to team RED (Voice) ★Cookie★: Spy! Crocop: try something besides pyro Crocop: maybe you might do something ★Cookie★ left the game (Removed from match by system) Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: I just need to get one more thing for the dragons fury Crocop: it's just you and me bb Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: I just noticed everytime one of us dies the announcer will just say team wipe *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: shiiite Crocop: ill go pyro Crocop: if u want Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Nah id rather have one free kill and then switch my own calss tbh Crocop: good luck Crocop: it's those micro dodges Crocop: that count Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: No my aim jsut reallly sucks Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: just& Crocop: that too *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: ye cheaky motherfucker Crocop: no need to touch you Crocop: my friend the cliff Crocop: will do the honors *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: your score: 16 mine : 0 Crocop: o wel Crocop: you're learning Crocop: young padawan Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: if you werent pyro this would honestly be much easier Crocop: oh Crocop: alright ill switch class then Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: K Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: At least your nice about this Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: oh you little FUCKING SHIT Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: i fuckin hear that Crocop: good Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: where he hell did ye put it now Crocop: somwhere Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Im gonna see if you have a pattern of some sort Crocop: good idea Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: A dispenser now Crocop: hmm Crocop: this isnt fair Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: That would be correct Crocop: okay *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: oh shit *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: that was fast as hell Crocop: good sentreh :D Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: i wouldntve died if i hadnt hit the wall Crocop: you don't fuck with my dispenser Crocop: im sorry *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: mission failed well try again next time Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: NO *DEAD* Crocop: ya got me Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: YOU WILL NOT PUT A DAMNED SENTRY THERE Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: that didnt count in the contract *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: I need to hit you twice and kill you i think Crocop: good luck Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Just dont piss me off and i wont a get kills Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Well piss me off too much i just get slightly worse then i already am *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: what killed me Crocop: a pipe bomb *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: i just pooped *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: popped* Crocop: takes a while to detonate Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: no explosion or anything just a death Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Seriously just so i can switch to an easier calss to use can i just get a free kill on ye Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: class* Crocop: gotta work for it Crocop: pyro is the perfect counter for demo Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Not with the dragons fury he aint Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: the delay on the airblast is really fuckin annoyin Crocop has found: The Southern Hospitality   Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Also about the 'you have to work for it' comment you added on to what i said Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Ive been trying my goddamn hardest *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: dont cap Crocop: just getting hp Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Youre beggining to become somewhat of an asshole being perfectly honest Crocop: <3 Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: also you are a douche for doing a heart Crocop: im sorry you're so upset Crocop: cry some moar Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: No im just speakin my mind im really chill right now its just a bit annoying to think youre playing with another player which Crocop: bro Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: is becomin an asshole Crocop: its just a game Crocop: let's all relax. Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: I am aware Crocop: sometimes i gotta remind u Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: We dont know eachother and that is the first time you said its just a game .-. Crocop: it seems you're getting a little bit too flustered for a video game Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: now thats not salt thats just the truth Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: im not lyin thats actually the first time ye said that Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Also you better be glad im not a child that plays fortnite because the fortnite community are obnoxious and annoying kids mostl Crocop: yes you're a smart little boy Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Rapey vibes noted Crocop: your teacher gives u all the smelly stickers Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: My teachers give me no sticker *DEAD* Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: stickers* Crocop: <3 Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: seriously can i just get one free kill to stop playing pyro im gettin bored as hell Crocop: this is how my grand papy Crocop: taught me how to play tf2 Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: what the fuck does that mean Crocop: do you want me to switch class Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Seriously though what do you mean by thats how my grand papy taught me to play tf2 because that had no context Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Yes Crocop: you're speaking gibberish my friend Crocop: it was a very concise statement Crocop: my grandpappy taught me how to play tf2 Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: No it really wasnt Crocop: maybe you should grow that lil brain Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: you said that with no context with what i was saying Crocop: so you can comprehend text without context Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: it was insanely random Crocop: not really Crocop: i mean we're playing tf2 Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: You didnt tell me how he taught you you just said thats how he taught you Crocop: aah Crocop: well i 1v1ed with him Crocop: until i got gud Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Well  at least someone taught you i had to learn myself Crocop: step 1 Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: and i had to get use to shit tons of lag Crocop: have a comfortable desk and mouse and keyboard Crocop: 2. enjoy Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: That literally explains nothing with how i learned Crocop: well theres no real learning to it Crocop: you're just good at it or not Crocop: it all comes down to reflexes and timing Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Thats.... Really really fuckin dumb Crocop: yeah. im sorry that you'll have to be that way Crocop: forever Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Not forever you were just taught to think in that way Crocop: this wasn't taught Crocop: this is a decade long observation Crocop: my smol friend Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: its impossible to stay the same exact skill level forver Crocop: sure there's small variation Crocop: with time played Crocop: but the tf2 pros have natural reflexes Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Youre a person that i would hate to be around in real life Crocop: when did i say i cared Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: When did i say i thought you cared Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Hm? Crocop: so then you're speaking into the wind Crocop: who cares buddeh Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Nobody really cares in life Cp_The_Sewer_Toad: Being honest its all lies Cp_The_Sewer_Toad left the game (Disconnect by user.)

[lokiarsene]

More PQ2 liveblog thoughts–this time with no salt!

Ryuji acknowledging that what Kamoshida did wasn’t just physical abuse, and that what he put Ann through was even worse than that, was really refreshing to see, especially since the base game did very little to actually show Ryuji understand and acknowledge and care about Ann’s feelings and what she suffered. Any hope of development he had once Kamoshida was apprehended just went out the window, so kudos, PQ2.

Akechi telling Ryuji and Ann, who are particularly vocal about how much they hate Kamoshida (with good reason!) that he understands how they feel is…. painful. Very painful. Especially since what set them off is how absurd it is to think of a whole city built around the idea that Kamoshida is a hero. Of course Akechi would understand how that feels: the entire country of Japan thinks his piece of shit father is a good man.

I painted a tile red by accident, and Ann chimed in by saying it was a nice color. Of COURSE she’d like the color red. ;_;

I can’t believe I forgot this, but the contrast of Akechi having Bless/Light skills, and Joker having Curse/Dark? I love it. I love it a LOT. To me this is the most clear sign that Akechi really did have the capacity for goodness in him, that if he hadn’t been mistreated and deprived, he’d be the true hero his childhood self clearly wished he could be (see also: Robin Hood). And with that line of thinking, I find it equally fascinating that Ren’s innate talent is Curse/Dark.

I don’t pay much attention to the P5 fandom, but from what little I’ve glimpsed, people seem to have this misconception that Ren is some uwu cinnamon roll, when this is so damn far from the truth I really wonder if these people like,,, actually,,, paid attention to the game they were playing. Ren’s ultimate persona is Satanael. It shoots the Demiurge in the fucking face. His whole shtick is a gentleman rebel intent on purging corruption and impurity from society, and he does this while being affiliated with Dark himself. I think a lot of people, even some Akeshu shippers, may overlook Ren’s own capacity for darkness and controlled viciousness in the name of justice. People who evade the law must be dragged screaming back to the rule of law. There’s a reason why his dynamic with Akechi is as compelling as it is, and it’s because they are absolute equals, cordial rivals with similar powers, motivations, and yes, even inclinations.

I’m just saying, if people are able to see Akechi’s potential for being different/better than what he was, then the same can be said for Ren in the reverse. And by some accounts he really is quite questionable, though I’ve previously discussed the moral ambiguity of forcing a conscience onto the minds/hearts of people instead of allowing them to go to it willingly. Personally I stand with Akechi on the matter–FORCING change on someone, no matter how corrupt they are, is a problem unto itself. But I also agree with Akechi in that some people are so corrupt they just need a good killin’ though, so… y'know. Grain of salt and all.

All-Out Attacks in this are ALSO adorable. God I’m enjoying the look/style of this so much more than I did Q1, weirdly enough.

Boy I did not in any way at all miss Justine and… what’s the other one. Christine? Something? Oh no, it’s Caroline. Whatever. I didn’t miss them, and they are by far the lamest of the Velvet Room attendants. Anyone have any ideas as to why Ren’s VR attendants would be children? Because as far as I know in the other games, except for 2, the VR attendants were some reflection of the Wild Card user themselves. The VR attendant was either someone who would be their peer, someone they could learn from, or, with Yu and Margaret, a guiding figure, stern but helpful. And then Marie showed up so… whatever, I guess. I guess Yu learned how to listen to terrible poetry from a tsundere goth or something? Not sure.

I haven’t quite figured out how/why Justine and Caroline–and then Lavenza–can in any way relate to Ren, and part of me wants to say they were actually meant to be Akechi’s VR attendants if he were a true Wild Card user. Children with two different personalities with a strong sense of justice that doesn’t yield no matter what? That fits Akechi quite well. Those attendants then merging into a gentle but determined, soft-spoken girl who only wishes to find the truth and reveal it? That fits Akechi too. It reflects a gentleness/softness, a purity that he lost too soon.

When I put it that way, I can kinda see how they would fit with Ren, who is also seeking the truth because of his muddled memories (which is so convoluted, oh my god, don’t get me started), but they make so much more sense if I think of them as leftovers that were meant to go to Akechi first. But since Akechi isn’t a Wild Card user…. womp womp.

Mona’s outburst that Ryuji should respect Justine and Caroline, then backpedaling to say no, he doesn’t know them, but [respecting them] “just feels right” is………….. really interesting. He says they have something “unwavering” within them, and when they look at him, he gets the feeling he just has to listen to them–“there’s something deep in my core, this feeling that screams ‘I have to do what they say!’ wells up inside me.” IN TER EST ING.

And FINALLY your whole crew can join you in the Velvet Room! Takes me back to P2 days.

Akechi: “Still, two Personas at the same time? I’m impressed. My hat’s off to you, Ren.” FDJSKLFDSLK AKECHI YOU BRILLIANT MOTHERFUCKER

!!!

AND NOW MY BUDDIES CAN HAVE MULTIPLE PERSONA

FUCK YEAH FUN TIME

And Justine/Caroline speculate that the power of the Wild Card is changing to adapt, since “another with the power of the wild card is here as well.” I’m guessing that refers to the P3 or P4 protag?

After playing other JRPGs, I realized something about the Persona series that stands out and that I really enjoy: how talkative your teammates are. They encourage you, cheer you on, compliment you for an attack, express fear if you’re hurt; they thank you for the help you give them, they comment on how much health or SP they lose–it all feels that much more engaging and exciting.  Plus it’s a small but really special way to show off their personalities and just how they work together as a team.

OH MY GOD

MY GAL MINAKO MAKING THE BEST FUCKING ENTRANCE

THAT’S MY GAL DSJKLAFJSDKL LET ME PUT HER IN MY PARTY DFJSKLFDaaa AND THE BATTLE MUSIC CHANGES TO P3-STYLED MUSIC WHEN SHE’S HERE JKFDSAJKLFSDAJFLSDJFKLSD OH MY GOD I WANT TO CRY

This is the kinda fanservice I live for, idc. The kind of fanservice that is fun and harmless, that just makes the story exciting. Because who doesn’t love a good crossover?

Oh my god hearing the P3 music again makes me want to tear up. Y'all don’t know how special P3 is to me ;_; It means so… so so so much. And seeing her again, and hearing this music, just fills my heart with so much painjoy that I want to cry.

I GET TO NAME HER? DFJSLAKFDSKL I JUST BURST INTO TEARS. I KNOW THIS IS RIDICULOUS BTIA FKJDSL SHE’S JSUT SO SPECIAL AND!! ATLUS IS FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGING HER!!!a

As a side note, I’m really touched to see Akechi interacting with others that aren’t in the PT. He is genuinely kind to them–a pleasant boy indeed.

“I watch the news pretty regularly, too.” Considering how many times you can check the TV in the dorm in P3, and that SEES would keep an eye on the Apathy Syndrome cases, she’s not lying. Good on Atlus for putting that in there.

Watching Minako bond with Futaba over headphones, and be so kind and friendly, just… warms my heart. THAT’S the P3 protag I know and love.

//THE POPCORN MAKER IS A TRANSPOSITION KILN, LIKE FROM DARK SOULS 3 FADSJKLFDS// THIS IS THE GREATEST GAME EVER MADE

Justine and Caroline confirm that the other Wild Card user they sensed was Minako, which I suppose makes it canon (sorta?) that Akechi is not a Wild Card user, and that his two Persona are likely a special case, caused by the severe split in his motives and in his heart thanks to Shido.

Persona fusion in this is really cute! Justine and Caroline slowly merge the film, do a dance, and butterfly wings sprout from their backs!

“But nothing’s certain in this world, and this problem isn’t going to solve itself.” I FUCKING LOVE YOU, MINAKO.

Watching Futaba struggle but still go through with trying to reach out to Hikari, to explain how difficult it was for her to socialize and share her time with others, also makes me look at P5 in a nicer light. I really did think Futaba had one of the better S-Links, it’s just that pedophilia bullshit that was a GIANT RED FLAG distracting me from the rest of it. If her S-Link had something like this instead–Futaba finds a girl who is like her, and wants to help her since she understands exactly how she feels, but she wants Ren’s help/advice with it–I would have been much happier.

YOU CAN PUT MINAKO IN YOUR PARTY OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Her Japanese voice is adorable by the way–so bright and friendly and warm.

#this is the ask tag #pq2 liveblog #pq2 spoilers

[lonely-dog-song]

ok time to emo post quotes from eskew again

#lonely dog speaks #was just chilling and i thought of ''i'm coming apart. And it doesnt even hurt.'' :'·(((((((((((((((((( #''i am not afraid. these were always the parts of myself that i least feared losing.'' #no comment on that one i jsut want 2 note it #hang on there's something in the last episode that makes me think of smthn from Bug #quote from episode 19 > ''And if Eskew will not let me go... then it will have to keep breaking me down bone by bone and cell by cell until #there’s nothing left because as long as there’s a single working part of me left in this body I will not stop hunting not stop running-'' #and quote from episode 30 > ''Swooping through the black beyond Eskew diving and ducking too fast for the darkness to swallow; #I’ll always be too fast so long as I don’t stop I’ll never stop-'' maybe this similarity is seen elsewhere but. hdndbckdnf #ALSO I JUST REALIZED RIYO SAYS ''May each of us find the one thing wey're looking for.'' THAT WAS IN EPISODE 15 #Ok one more quote. riyo says ''a life of chasing shadows into depths unknown.'' SIGHS #i feel bad for her.... i hope she doesnt think she failed (i know this is a fictional character but STILL) #eskew spoilers #i am so emotional abt this podcast And the songs i am listening to. AHHUUHH wonder if this normal sadness or advanced sadness #thinking abt this podcast makes my brain feel like soup its like. theres only 30 episode but its SO MUCH to think abt

[md3artjournal]

7:19 PM 9/3/2020 It's come to my attention that although my reblog text under the cut is hidden from a post's Notes/Replies on Tumblr-desktop, it is all very visible on Tumblr-mobile/phone version.  Ugh.  So I could no longer simply reblog the referenced post, and hide all my comments under a cut.  So here are all my angsting thoughts again, after doodling this drawing, but as a separate post, for my art journal blog.  

10:42 PM 9/2/2020

I don’t even know what I'm doing anymore.  Today, I sat down to draw and I must have wasted 15+minutes, indecisive about what to draw with.  I wanted to just use one of my fountain pens, but

1) Yesterday's line bleeds proved that the Pilot Petit is just not good for my tiny doodles;

2) My only other fountain pen is my Platinum Preppy, but I should be saving that ink for writing in my habit tracker; that's what I bought it for; and it's not so easy to just buy more ink cartridges during this pandemic;

3) My fountain pens' inks are not waterproof? What if halfway through my drawing I decide I want to use half watercolors?  Again?  

So then my safest option was my Copic Gasenfude.  Impervious to water, alcohol marker ink, everything.  But my pen is so dry...  I tested it beforehand, to convince myself it was still fine.  But the test felt very different from the drawing.  During drawing, I missed the smooth flow of my fountain pens sooooooooooo much.  I should've just opened one of my new Gasenfude pens for this drawing.  But I'm too chicken about using up supplies, in general.  x_____x;;;;;;;;;  

What's with my Copic Multiliners?  Do they just bleed more on my cheap sketchbook paper?  Because I remember my lines being fuzzy on the close-up scans too.  Or am I just so out of practice drawing with them now, that all my lines end up stiffer than usual?  Or maybe they're getting dry too?  They are pretty old pens by now.  ~.~;  

*sigh* I miss my fountan pens, but I need waterproof ink for my linework.  x_x;  

I heard that Indian ink is waterproof after it dries, but all my bottles of Indian Ink dried up decades ago.  Plus, all my dip pens are rusty and don't even work with my acrylic inks that I already have.  I don't want to buy more supplies, then they turn out to not really work for me.  I've done that too much already.  ...Though I do have my eye on that Deleter trial dip pens set...and Indian ink sounds too good to be true...  But I have so many supplies lying around, I really should just find a way to use them.  Even if they turned out to not really work for how I naturally think/work, I already spent the money on them.  I should *find* a way to make them work.  I'm so simultaneously wasteful AND cheap with my art supplies! X~x!  

That's also why I want to be able to switch over to cheap $1-store/Daiso watercolors, instead of using up Copic ink on full drawings.  But if I never know when I'm going to need that mid-way medium switch, then I need waterproof/Copic-proof ink.  

Well, no matter the case, it probably wouldn't help my terrible terrible drawing too much.  I mean, today's doodle gave me problems making lines because the ink just would not flow out of my drying Gasenfude pen.  But also, I had to realize that I've become out of practice with true brushpens.  I've been using Copic Sketch and nylon nib "brushpens" all this time, thinking I've stayed in practice.  But bristle brushpens are too different, and I forgot that.  I've become horrible with brushpens, and the Gasenfude used to be my go-to.  x_______x;;;;;

Anyway, nothing about drawing today has been good for my self-esteem.  I made a horrible drawing, that wasn't even pretty, I started too high on the page and too close to yesteray's doodle, so Akira and Ryuji's heads ended up squashed on top, to fit into the page space.  I was reminded how easily I lose skill even with mediums/tools that I used to be competent at.  I proved yet again that I just can't make beautiful drawings---and maybe that's more of an issue of me not actually wanting to be good at drawing.  I didn't want to admit it, but maybe that's something I have to do.  Maybe I don't actually want to become good at drawing.  I hate studying, I can't stand brushing up on human antomy, perspective, gesture motions, all those fundamentals, and every time I force myself to, I get so frustrated, I'm horrible to myself and everyone else around me in real life.  That can't be worth scribbling a bunch of skeletons that end up ugly an reinforcing my low self-esteem anyway.  

My sister commented once that even though being an artist was hard, at least I enjoyed drawing.  At the time, I told her that I don't actually like drawing.  I told her that I liked "having had drawn".  Since then I did find that those statements weren't true.  I have found drawing cathartic, even while I was drawing.  I even felt horrible on days where I didn't get to draw.  I liked drawing.  

...I'm just REALLY REALLY REALLY bad at it, and I have no inclination to put in the hard word to make my drawing better.  But I will spend all day, comparing myself to better fan-artists online, and lamenting how I can never make anything beautiful.  x___x;;;;;;  

So I go around telling people that "I'm actually more of a sculptor than an illustrator", as if distracting to a medium that most people are less familiar with, and that is easier for people like me to make beautiful things, would do anything to help my horrible lack of drawing skills.

I remember, all the times I've tried to learn a new videogame, and I'm inclined to believe tha tmaybe I jsut don't like learning new things.  Even for games that eventually became my favorites, my comforts, my completely intuitive flow states, I was still compeltely frustrated and horrible to be around, while learning.  I shouldn't be surprised then that I don't play videogames as much anymore, even though I'm desperately reluctant to let go of my gamer identity.  But I recall the last party I was invited to, and I was wrangled into learning a new tabletop game.  I was completely against it, all throughout, during, and at every moment.  I was just waiting for it all to end.  I don't think I like games, because learning to play, leaning sets of rules, and functioning within MORE systems, must be the last thing my brain wants to do during leisure time.  I can even remember a few moments when I was obstinately inattentive or simply refusing to abide by office expectations and protocols---and I don't know why!  Why was I just _so_ exasperate and unwilling to put effort into following simple rules?  I'm beginning to I think that maybe as I get older, the less energy I have to learn things.  Which is only a theory, because even when I was younger, I didn't like playing games because I didn't want to learn rules.  Plus, I've always been "someone who loves to learn"...Just academic knowledge and inforational stuff, not games.  Games and human interaction in general, have always been too much work for me to enjoy.  So if there's any reason why I can't get myself to study illustration fundamentals, no matter how much I lament not being able to draw something beautiful (at least to warrant my making a living in artist alley!) then I have to wonder if my inexplicable disdain for learning new rules is the reason.  

I don't even know what I'm writing about.  I think I was originally just hoping that drawing with a new Gasenfude that wasn't drying, would help me draw lines more easily.  x_x;  Please ignore my venting.  

#venting #please ignore my idiocy #quitting art #is this even chibi? I messed this up so bad x_x;

[ethereal-aeitherea]

1.30.2018

Today was a day, but really critical in speaking-up and making efforts to be more of the person i’d like to be..... Super anxious and feeling bad rn tho so i’m writing this.

Started with pulling an all-nighter to finish my first ever VR game.

I decided to skip my 3D modeling class to get some 2.5 hour sleep.

I wish I had gone to that class.  Our teacher actually took roll today.  I’ve been going to every class (which was my way of getting myself even enrolled in the class and off the waitlist) but the one day I don’t show up my attendance grade is affected.  Now i have 0% for attendance.  My friend who has been sick the past three classes went today and has 100%.  My friend said I should def email the teacher to say I was sick or something and it’s totally unfair the way the attendance grade got recorded (although he’s happy lol).

After I got up I did my makeup because I looked dull and dead and my expression looks shitty when I’m sleep-deprived and I wanted to pull myself together in preparation to speak up today during critique.  Makeup is confidence for that.  Also just feeling more set in your self helps with composure etc...

My VR game doesn’t work the way I want it to.  Instead of being in the middle of the world, you’re floating off to the side looking in.  The person test-playing my game just stood facing the wall the entire time because that was the closest she could get to my game space.  I felt so bad, it was not the experience I envisioned at all, and it was due to a tiny error I had even made a point to document in my notes.

At the end of crit my teacher asked if I had final comments or things to say and I mentioned my problem with the positioning of the player and he said quite clearly to next time fix those problems right away.  Someone near me was currently fixing his game after his game didn’t work initially, his crit was postponed and we moved on to the next person.  I instantly felt a pang of (shame/guilt/regret/oh-no/fuck/heart sinking idk how to call this) and I felt so disappointed, like after mentioning the issue with the viewpoint why did I not further suggest that I postpone my crit to fix the problem...?

One of the things I thought my teacher would be impressed with was I added a secret to my game which took me forever to code.  I realized understanding the syntax of code is not my strong suit at all.....  I was finally able to get it, but we couldn’t even access it to unlock it (or even be close enough to see it) so it was obsolete.

-

Today marked a shift in behaviours for me.  Rather than working all night on a class (3D modeling) where projects can be turned in late, and then subsequently scrambling to construct a haphazard project for my first ever VR game which is to me more exciting and groundbreaking, I chose 1. HEALTH, and 2. MY INTERESTS.  I decided to sleep so I could wake up and go to the VR lab early (I was hoping I’d get to test my game but the professor wasn’t in the classroom to set up the hardware) and then I didn’t even touch the 3D modeling projects and invested all my time into making a conceptually thought-out virtual reality game.

Choices were made that differ from my usual, typical course of action.  I have noticed especially recently that showing up early reveals a lot and allows time for collecting composing and preparing oneself for success.  Also, conversations happen during this time which can be useful; I’m usually the one to show up right on time or late and then stay afterwards...  But today actually during that time before class where I WASN’T able to test, instead I was actually able to write the code I had been stuck on the night before!  The one to demonstrate the *secret* I had envisioned for my game.  So that was great, I jsut couldn’t see it during play-testing.

I absolved the issue.... admittedly I am kicking myself for it a bit because I had even known about how to avoid this problem occurring but during actual game dev the problem was never an issue to me.  This is a result in the difference between the Steam VR [Camera Rig] asset versus the Unity FPS Controller PreFab.  The Main Camera (automatically interjected into a scene when a Unity project is created) needs to be turned off when using the [Camera Rig].  Makes sense.  However when testing my game myself, without a VR headset I needed to use the FPS (first-person shooter) and not the VR thing, and the Main Camera does not affect the display of this.

So in the actuality of my own experience I did not anticipate that problem.  I located and fixed the problem during class even.  But I was proud of my game, that I felt like I included the baseline of everything I wanted to have, nothing serious or crucial was lacking, I gave myself enough time to work it through to a good enough stage.............. My efforts were not quite illustrated although I was able to speak about them, it’s not quite the same as showing your work.

-

Letting my work speak loudly enough for itself is something I am striving for.  I am tired of having incomplete projects I am embarrassed to show as an example of my work ethic.  I would like to have a finished, working portfolio to demonstrate my capabilities and creative process.  Learning to speak up is part of that journey.

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After class I was walking with the classmate from earlier, and I wasn’t sure if he was busy and needed to work on his project or if he was fine if I tagged along.  I asked to go check out the work room with him and I got to explore a new area of the Art Building on campus.  I have never actually had a class in that building, they’ve been in the design area or otherwise...  I got to see some of his sketches and work 8To see his process of creating 2D stop-motion animation was fascinating and inspired me to try out new processes of working, and to work diligently and fruitfully at them.

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After hanging around in the art building for a bit, I went to a club meeting for people who like tea.  I socialized more and tried to learn names again.  The meeting concluded rather quickly but I stayed to socialize afterwards.  It was a bit scary but I tried to act relaxed in that environment, which was a bit awkward already due to the short nature of the meeting and the guest presenter who was asking for volunteer help and people didn’t seem too enthused... I tried my best to socialize and as usual I defaulted to talking about school and classes.  Whenever possible I try to diverge into study abroad because that leads into travel, language, culture, backgrounds, etc. but someone did that for me, by mentioning they had studied abroad themselves.  The girl kind of reminds me of myself, the long dark hair with golden amber ends, the pale skin and “I-rushed-and-didn’t-have-time-for-full-eye-makeup-but-I-can-definitely-do-my-own-face-skillfully” look, with ripped denim jeans and all white skate shoes, calm voice and funny jokes here and there told while maintaining the same voice volume.  I wonder if I looked like her a year ago when my hair was like that.

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Later talked to someone i had met last school year right after i transferred.  He was a tall asian but born in europe, with a european accent.  I was so interested.  Reconnected with him on a dating app, but I so want to be his friend.  I remember him being attractive since he was SO TALL and had nice shoes but I’ll see how much a year has changed things around.  Coffee tomorrow.  Keep it short and sweet.

[loi-et-love]

I: something SZ said: remember when you "called me pain in the ass" you turned around and were working on table top of a colleague who sits next to me........ and why i enjoyed it because...... you turned around and i had a good view

NF: oh geez! Is this just the way it is there, that guys comment on women's looks and make sexy references. For women that aren't appropriate for them? I'm being stupid I suppose. I read that it happens all the time here. I just don't see it myself.

I: its my fault when it's SZ. i flirted with him first. i said I’d like to spank him. so i cannot show him the moral code book. well, i know he should have one as he's married n also has 2 kids!!. but i think thats just how men are

NF: You are allowed to change the way you relate.

I: i was telling Kaalu about SZ's comments and what he says. a few of them that i remember, n she just got married in february n she is worried if her husband will turn out to be like these men in his end 30's. Change the way you relate?

NF: If you want to, you can change your relating to SZ to not be flirting. You don't have to make it a moral thing. Just ... I don't want to relate this way anymore.

I: i know i can. i will if i get bored

NF: Are you enjoying that you can have that kind of effect on a guy? Putting aside the downsides to it for the moment.

I: i think i always enjoyed having this kind of effect on a guy. now the difference is that first they were college boys/guys, now they're married men. he asked me out on a long drive

NF: hee hee, ask him to bring his wife and kids along

I: and i told him "on a serious note, it's all fine till its jsut verbal. i wouldnt want to sabotage your marriage. so i cant see you outside office". n he agreed. he said okay

NF: wow, that's great

I: but he still talks about things like "i am coming back tomorrow so can u come pick me up at the airport?" i think he's just flirting now. he doesnt really want me to come. i think i've learnt where to draw the line now. earlier, if they said things like "send me a pic of u before u sleep, i want to c u. if u dont, you're dead. ill never speak to u etc etc" Atul too said something like this. n earleir, i wud sned a pic back. just my face. nothing sexual or sexting type. now? i dont send if i dont want to send i draw the line. because back then, i had low self esteem n i felt i need them more than they needing me n now ive come so far that ive realized that they need me. i dont need them/ so if they stop, i wont care.

NF: *hug*

I: this is what he's saying now. i know that this is how he is. he's not making it up:

wait but before that, i sent him this: Well, the spanking thing.. i just said it the spur of the moment. What else do you with an ass? the most obvious thing is spank it, baby! And well, Ladies first is for to check their ass out so. Put two and two together! I know the spanking thing was too much.

so he said: no .... thats where you go wrong..... the thing is i want you to be open with me..... to be able to do/talk anything you want with me (but with love.... not anger)..... the thing is i have chivalry... i have manners..... so when you start speaking that language i start speaking too.... till then i wouldnt .... remember i sent you jokes..... but only after you send me that "cake my nephew made from egg shells" which you know looked like what..... i sent adult jokes.... A true story.... while i was doing my MBA... i had asked a girl out for dinner (becasue i was bored of eating in canteen and needed company) nothing else..... after dinner she wanted to walked a little..... so i walked.... she started personal question ... i answered... she then asked me "have i kissed a girl" and i was like ofcourse...... but i still didnt get the hint.... after may be 5-6 hints.... i still didnt do it ... finally she had to tell me .... "kiss me" ..... and then it happened..... so if you want to know the real me ...... you would have to reveal real you.. another true story (but funny) once i was in a conference in philippines.. was put up at hilton.... was neatly dressed ..... suit and all.... cleaned shaven ... and i entered the lift... there was this european girl .... from Estonia... we started talking boring conference blah blah ... had good small conversation.... lift reached lobby..... and she asked me "coffee" i was so dumb ... that i told her .... "the coffee shop is that way" its only when my colleague in lobby asked me "Badi goriyon se baatein ho rahi hai.... what were you talking" thats when i realised it was she asking me out for coffee..... i still regret that moment... but now i always smile at that thought .

he really wants to know me. figure me out!

NF: I hope you do work out a good way to be friends with him.

I: we r friends. when i was in college, i used to only find guys who i can flirt with. have a fling with. theyre disposable. as i've grown up. After Andy i changed. n now i may flirt with them, but i maintain the friendship too

NF: I'm glad you're smart

I: i have learnt to balance it out now. did i tell u i used to flirt with BB too?? when we became friends, after the first year i flirted with him.i dont remember he flirting back. but i remember he had said one thing. that he would never do it with me. i would never be like the other girls are for him. i would never be just a fling for him, even if i flirted with him. n i flirted, because i never took him seriously. he was just some cute guy i talked to. i didnt care if he stayed or left or died, back then i was 19 years old

NF: I think lots of girls do, just to test out their power

I: i do that now. back then, i did it because i was bored.

#personal #net friend chats #SZ #AC #office love affair