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#no but idk what this is supposed to be i just wanted to see them all happy
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OK, after my finals, I'll start writing these, but I've been on a classics binge. I can't get these out of my head.
I think for angst/power couple shit, Aventurine with a character who's got a Count of Monte Cristo story arc would be so good.
Like, you're at the height of your life, and a bunch of people frame you for something you didn't do. They're jealous and want to steal your shit or you see them commit a crime or something. Then, you escape from prison, change your name, get a huge fortune, and get your revenge.
Each drabble that I've written, you and Aventurine plot and scheme together. I feel like Aventurine would be down for helping you get your revenge, depending on what your revenge is.
For Ratio, and this is kind of fluffy (like post-angst?? Recovering reader?), I think Reader coming from a place that's like 1984 or Fahrenheit 451 where things like books are banned and there's all this hyper-surveillance and public punishment. Then, suddenly you find yourself staying with Ratio (Or maybe the IPC takes over the planet and repeals these laws idk), and now everything is quiet, private, and you're allowed to learn.
And it doesn't even have to be that dramatic. Like, Ratio's s/o coming from a place where they don't have the opportunity to formally learn or are constantly surveilled, only to stay at Ratio's where you're free to do what you want, experience all of this new stuff, and hear these ideas you've never heard of before.
And with Sunday, I could really see something with the reader I mentioned for Ratio, but they go the complete opposite direction. Like, they go in a Captain Beatty character arc of "I’ve read all of these books and ideas but they just cause pain and confusion. Instant gratification is so much easier and better." It's heavily implied that on Penacony, you're not supposed to talk about bad things, so this reader could be an antagonist to Ratio/Aventurine/Trailblazer.
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Forbidden Fruit
A Grayson Hawthorne x oc fic
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Warnings/notes (regarding the whole fic) : slight cursing, sexual innuendos, no smut, MLM, friends to enemies to lovers, might be a lil ooc (forgive me first fic ever if you dont count 'Wine and Woes'), i also changed Cassian to a human instead of a faerie, also, it's gonna be a little slow, please bear with me.
(please heed that this only a work of fiction, so do not be influenced by it, and for the love of God don't do anything that's happening in this fic.)
(trespassing is not a light matter, especially when you're breaking into a multi-billionaire's house. Doing this will have its consequences 🙏💀)
Word count: Idk man, lots of words here 💀
Summary: Grayson Hawthorne had always wanted to be like his grandfather. He had never been in the business of making friends, until he meets someone who is going to turn his life upside down, and possibly make his brain short circuit
Prologue
Part 1
"your ego is bigger than Jupiter itself. Your IQ on the other hand, is the complete opposite"
"i know you ain't talking like that when you don't know what basic slang is, blondie"
"i prefer doing more productive things than spending all my time on such uselessly mind-consuming pieces of media"
"........ This is why you have no friends and no bitches"
"i have you." Grayson smiled, something he rarely did "maybe that's all I need."
Pre-Timeskip
Grayson Hawthorne was not in the business of making friends, much like his grandfather, Tobias Hawthorne. Even though he was only 13 years old, he relied on himself, he did not ask for help. Grayson knew he was extraordinary, his grandfather had made sure he knew.
He was prepared for every possible outcome in every possible situation. Or so he thought, until he was face to face with a rather unusual looking boy
Unusual in the sense that the boy was wearing muddy overalls, his fluffy brown hair had leaves and twigs stuck in it. His smile is too big, too bright, much like the sun shining overhead. Grayson's eyes trail down the short boy's appearance, hes holding his hands out to Grayson, holding two red geraniums in them. The geraniums are muddy too. Grayson's face scrunches up looking at the filth.
"Who are you?" Grayson glares at the boy "And how did you get in here?"
For anyone else, Grayson's glare would have been terrifying. His silver eyes making them uncomfortable in their own skin. But this boy? He kept grinning, and holding out his flowers. The audacity he had to ruin Grayson's peaceful garden time agitated Grayson.
"My name is Cassian!" Cassian smiles brightly "Whats yours?"
Grayson did not want to answer, this boy's innocence was.....annoying, but he did so out of politeness, and perhaps the hope that maybe this boy would leave if he knew who he was talking to was far superior.
"Grayson" Grayson introduced himself "My name is Grayson Hawthorne."
Grayson did not see any flash of recognition in the boy's midnight blue eyes. That agitated him more. First, this boy had the audacity to interrupt his peaceful garden time, Now, he didn't even know who Grayson was?!
"Woah! You have a cool name! Grayson. Gray, like your eyes" he says in awe, as if he had never seen gray eyes before
What was Grayson even supposed to say to that? Grayson frowns at Cassian. Hoping that maybe he'll see the obvious annoyance and leave. But Grayson's hopes were nothing if not futile, because Cassian just smiles at him.
Instead, he just tells him something Grayson does not want to know
"My last name is Moonbeam!" he smiles
Cassian Moonbeam? What a ridiculous name..... Grayson thought
It was also not a name Grayson recognised, so one, this boy was not from a prominent family, and two, he was not a worker's son. Since those children never approached Grayson, knowing who he is.
"You do realize that you're trespassing, right?" Grayson raises an eyebrow, looking down his nose at the boy
Cassian cocks his head to the side a little "Trespassing?" he says, expression neutral "but there's only one of me, wouldnt that make it unopassing?" he grins
This boy..... Grayson's mind comes up with a few rude words, but he decides to keep them to himself.
Instead, he calmly says "That wasn't funny"
"it wasn't meant to be."
"How did you get in here?"
"i slid through the tall border thingy" Cassian points at the tall border that separated the woods from the estate. Grayson's eyes slid from the metal border back to Cassian
"And no one saw you? Not even one of the guards? And how in the world did you manage to slip through the gap?!"
"oh. Um. Well, i kinda watched the guards routine a lot, so I slipped in when they were away." Cassian grins "And it's not that small of a gap. Plus, I'm small and lean"
Grayson was so done with this kid and this whole conversation. He wanted this boy gone
He sighs and states "Trespassing, especially onto the Hawthorne estate, is a crime"
Cassian's grin disappears and he cocks his head to the side "Crime? Are you saying the police are gonna arrest me?"
"im saying they can if they are notified"
"Then let's not tell them." Cassian slightly juts out his lower lip
Grayson was appalled. Things like this should be notified. So no one else creeps onto the territory. Tobias Hawthorne was a man whose head multiple people wanted. Grayson didnt know who those people were or why, but he knew that with power, came risk.
"Are you seriously telling me I shouldn't tell someone that someone trespassed onto the territory?!"
Cassian shrugs and Grayson wants to strangle him, instead, he sighs exasperatedly
"How old are you?"
"11. Why?"
"Doesn't that explain so many things" Grayson says sarcastically and rolls his eyes
"What does that mean!?"
"Nothing you should be concerned about considering the situation you're in. How do you even plan to get out of here?"
Cassian looks a little confused "Huh? What do you mean? I'll just go back out the same way I came in"
Grayson scoffs "Thats not what I meant. Now, hypothetically, I don't tell on you, but do you really expect to just leave without a scratch? One of the guards could see you as you're trying to get out. Fate isn't in your hands"
Cassian pauses "But I already have scratches"
Grayson grits his teeth "Those are not the kind of scratches I'm talking about, Cassian"
"Doesn't matter." Cassian frowns slightly "What about you? How old are you?"
"I have no reason to tell you" Grayson replies dismissively, pauses, and then says "13"
The smirk on Cassian's face is smug "oh, so you're a baby. Like me"
"Baby?!" Grayson looks offended "I am not a baby!"
"You are" Cassian leans forward, and with one muddy finger, boops Grayson's nose "Boop!"
That's it. How dare this....this commoner touch him?! It was bad enough not knowing who he is, now this?!
"Do that again-" Grayson starts to threaten, but is cut off with another boop to the nose "Wha-"
"You said 'do it again' " Cassian smirks cheekily
"I swear to God-" Grayson takes a deep breath, composing himself. It was not like him to lose his temper over something like this "Do not do that again. Now, state your business for bothering me"
"Flowers." Cassian holds up the geraniums "For you."
Grayson paused, processing this information "......"
"you trespassed onto Hawthorne property to give me flowers?!"
Cassian nodded excitably
"You are either exceptionally smart or extremely stupid" Grayson sighs "i do not want your flowers"
"ill forgive you for calling me stupid, since I want to be your friend."
"i do not want you as a friend. Why would you even want to be friends with me?"
"Because you're a loner with no friends to bring you flowers" Cassian shrugs
Grayson had to admit, that stung. He did have so-called "friends", but he never was close with them, so they were more like strangers that he knew. But was he going to admit he didn't have friends to Cassian? Absolutely not.
"i have friends" Grayson grits through his teeth, fists clenching at his sides. He was getting impatient.
"No, you don't. I would've seen them if you did" Cassian says smugly
Grayson pauses, inhaling a sharp breath "you were stalking me?"
"i wouldnt say that," Cassian takes a step closer as Grayson takes one back "More like, saw you sitting here alone everyday as I passed by."
"And if i dont believe you?" Grayson says, internally prepared for a fight
"Well, I'm already here and giving you flowers. Red, right? Your favourite color?" he holds up the flowers again
"Youre a wierdo," Grayson slaps his hand away "i dont want your flowers."
Cassian frowns a little "oh. That's okay, maybe you hate these ones. I'll bring you some more tomorrow"
"Do not come back" Grayson grits
"im gonna" Cassian places the flowers at Grayson's feet, stands back up, looks at Grayson, shoots him a mischievous grin, and boops his nose again, making Grayson's nose officially the most booped part of his body.
Grayson opens his mouth to finally curse but Cassian starts running away "Oh, no, you don't." Grayson runs after him
But Cassian is surprisingly fast, and dodges Grayson multiple times
"We're playing tag, now?" Cassian snorts a laugh
Grayson realizes what's happening and stops dead in his tracks and frowns, glaring at Cassian.
"Leave." he says, barely holding on to his anger
"Why-" Cassian begins, but Grayson interrupts
"Leave before I tell on you. I'm giving you a free card once, don't expect it again" Grayson takes a breath through his teeth
Cassian slowly blinks at him, but then smiles softly and says "Okay! I'll figure out how to get out by myself next time"
Grayson watches as the boy sneakily watches out for the guards, and then darts into the woods without being seen, and eventually vanishes out of sight.
Grayson lets out a huff of irritation, and begins to walk back to the House, when he notices the muddy geraniums on the grass in front of him.
He hesitates for a second before picking them up.
I'll just throw them away, it doesn't matter. He thought
But a small part of Grayson, that he desperately tried to push away, wants to keep them. He doesn't want to admit it, but he really did not have any friends to bring him flowers. He was still suspicious of the boy, but he decided to see where all of this would end.
But for now, all he had to focus on was getting inside, taking a much needed shower, because of that pesky boy, and then attend lunch with his brothers and Grandfather.
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Tagging:
@never-enough-novels @pink-mask-06
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acewizardinspace · 2 years
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I think the 'the jedi use child soldiers' thing is stupid for a lot of reasons, but among those is that this is a complete misunderstanding of how children's media works. Kids want to see themselves doing amazing things and giving that an in depth analysis that boils down to 'all these adults are evil' is poor, bad faith, media criticism.
That being said, if you compare Star Wars to just about any other YA work, the jedi are miles better as far as child care goes. Canonly every single one of these 'kids in danger' has a dedicated adult who is ideally supposed to be with them to teach and protect them. Very uncommon for the genre.
So if people are mad at the jedi for this, I can't fathom what their reaction to other YA literature is. And if they hate YA literature, idk, maybe they shouldn't be reading YA. Just a thought.
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anormaladn · 18 days
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Little guy that lives in my brain breaking laws of nature and laws of gods
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tonariofjananda · 1 year
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Based on a this ask
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oatbugs · 1 month
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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soulsxng · 20 days
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Name: Hope (Elpis)
Age: ???
Species: Spirit/personification of false hope
And so it was Hope that saved humanity from the evil and miseries that were unleashed from the depths of Pandora's box...or so some would believe. So Hope themself wants to believe. In actuality, the story is a bit more complicated than that. After all, Hope emerged from Pandora's box just the same as the others. There's a good reason that other stories suggest Hope is just an extension of suffering.
An extension of Moros, who wants to reclaim them. To make them realize that the "hope" they give is just as vicious as the things that he, himself, could inflict.
But they will never accept that. Not truly.
They tell themself that the hope they spread amongst the people is good. That it's better for them that way, to deny and ignore their destinies until it's finally claimed them. Everyone deserves comfort. Deserves to believe that everything is okay-- that they are okay.
Even if it's only a beautifully woven falsity.
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sskk-manifesto · 15 days
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(´・ᴗ・ ` )
#I really like the “We're the bad guys' enemy” line. For someone I generally despise Dazai has all my favourite lines in this show…#Idk I can't really vibe with the unbalance that there is between s/kk.#Like when push comes to shove‚ Dazai has the power to keep Chuuya alive or let him die.#I understand why they make a compelling dynamic in their complexity‚ but it just doesn't do it for me.#I'm a little sad my opinion on them hasn't really changed since I watched the anime for the first time...#Also; I really can't vibe with Chuuya allowing Dazai to kill Q. Yes I know Chuuya cares about his comrades deeply.#Yes I know it can be interpreted as Chuuya seeing himself in Q as a living weapon and being disgusted by it#(though I honestly don't think that was intentional of the author).#Yes I know Chuuya is a mafioso and kills people. No I don't think your personal issues justify you being a dick to other people I'm sorry.#Back to my main annoyance with the episode: I must have already talked about this but I hate hate hate the narrative#“the mafia works for the city” “the mafia deeply loves the city too” it's so so sickening and insulting please stop I'm begging.#Please visit any actual city with a rooted mafia presence for once in your life (signed: someone whose hometown was destroyed by the mafia.#The writers really don't know what they're talking about and‚ politely‚ it's offensive.)#Also b/sd keeping being extremely nationalist with Mori (who's largely depicted unsimphatetically for the first part of the episode)–#bringing up western thinkers and subtly mocking Fukuzawa for not knowing them–#and Fukuzawa (the righteous man. the noble spirit and just soul in this episode and Mori's antithesis)–#stepping forward to say that he knows strategists from the east (because who else would he need?)#I don't know if it's meant to symbolize the conflict with an hostile and invading foreign power (the Guild).#But it does come across as. A very isolationist way of thinking.#I know it's subtle but it's really evident for me. And I didn't want to talk about this any further…#But by bringing actual examples of this I hope I can better explain why I think that b/sd holds nationalist views–#and that I'm not just making it up out of nowhere. Otherwise I fear I'd only come off as pettily hostile to b/sd in everything#That's it. I feel like I've been losing a lot of mutuals over my main recently due to not shutting up (sorry)#so I suppose it's only fair I lose them on here too pffttt.#Tune in next week for more bad takes#random rambles
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silenthillbunni · 20 days
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.
#it went!!! idk lately my pain treshhold has been so low bc im in pain all the time#so i just dont wnna be in pain anymore... he said that now it'll still hurt for a few days T-T#but he wasnt exactly sure what it was but i had.. a cavity??#im not rlly sure abt the english terms for all of this but the tooth is dying lol#but instead of immediately killing it nd getting a root fill he said that we should give the tooth a chance#so he fixed what he could fix#i hate dentist treatments bc of all the air nd water nd my anxiety i need to swallow constantly#but this time i actually told them abt it nd he was very helpful sksks#he even said 'ok now take a break nd swallow' so i didnt need to be so anxious#nd it was a relief bc he wasnt bad at all. he was actually rlly nice nd easy to talk to phewww#it cost abt $80 so i can manage to be without that until next week!!!!#so yeah it went much better than i had anticipated so im happy abt that#but yeah the problem still isnt 100% fixed yet so im still not relieved#he said i had a cavity in my other tooth as well but that we needed to check that at another time#im so frustrated bc i brush my teeth 2/day i use mouthwash i floss....#and for the last 7 months i havent even had any sugar!!!!! like why did this still happen.. o.o#oh nd he also said that i probably clench my teeth nd yeah i do that a lot more than i've realized#your teeth arent supposed to be touching!! never!! only when u eat#my teeth.... are touching pretty much all day omg. bc im so tense nd anxious#he said that he couldnt be sure bc he didnt have enough info to go on but that could have contributed to this#well well... i did it nd went even if i didnt want to#hopefully my tooth will be better now. nd i have another appt in may to see what i could get done further#if financial aid for it gets approved tho it might not#but yeah.. god dental pain nd issues is my no. 1 fear bc im poor nd i cant afford it
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aefensteorrra · 22 days
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that four day weekend was lovely but I really started going through something and it's definitely necessary and very... transformative? and well that's why it's so painful christ
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natjennie · 2 months
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sorry i havent been very active lately I've been having a real shit couple days idk why
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aroaessidhe · 8 months
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2023 reads // twitter thread
The Sun and The Void
Venezuelan inspired high fantasy
follows a young outcast swordswoman taken in by her grandmother, the dark sorceress for a noble family, who relies on the magic to keep her alive after being attacked by monstrous creatures
and a young noblewoman who’s the shame of her family because of her mixed heritage and desire to use magic
both are manipulated by those with more power than them into a plot to free an ancient evil god
mineral based magic, politics, nonhuman MCs
#The Sun and The Void#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#hm. haha. surface level this is kinda interesting and cool but i am going to follow with so many complaints#though I feel like it didn’t go into the magic or worldbuilding as much as I wanted and it felt irrelevant to the characters#like how does the magic even work? idk man#though I feel like it didn’t go into it as much as I wanted and it felt irrelevant to the characters#very slow to start and the pacing is weird. it would also go ages without having the other POV. very disjointed?#it felt like the first 60% was just context for the group of characters getting together as a group and then it was a bit predisposed with#They’re A Group! even tho. they're barely a group for long#the authors note mentions that the story concept started with a line about the god and ritual and…..yeah I can kind of tell#I feel like everything was built up around it in a way that ultimately that part didn’t fit right#I never bought that any of them were actually like fully committed to the evil dark magic? and also there’s this plot twist#that they have to fully kill the sacrifices & I was like…did we not already know that? girl r you stupid what do you think sacrifice means#also#oh my god at like half way one of the MCs is like. oh finally this guy who I’ve been exchanging letters with for months turned up to get me#away from here! by the way I’ve been exchanging letters with this guy and we’re friends! and like. she’d been doing nothing much for the#last 10% of the book why was that not like….shown as something she was doing? and like build up the friendship for the reader instead of#just dropping it on us - and also that we know the character from the other POV. and hes a racist prick. and we're supposed to believe she'#charmed by him because of this letter writing WE DIDN’T SEE….. why.#and then also that is like. he’s a shitbag and it’s obviously not romantic at all. he’s manipulative and terrible to her#EXCEPT at the end it implies his bad behaviour is because demon and oh uwu he gets all beat up and maybe hes sowwy now#and starts to imply she likes and is attracted to him? and I get the impression the next book is gonna be like evil power couple dynamic?#which. feels like the first concept the author had; and then tried to build up to that but not effectively lmao#for the lesbians:#I DO APPRECIATE having an assumed love interest then realising that that was idealised and actually you have feelings#for this other person you’ve become friends with! nice slow switch up. though quite brief#I do however dislike that when she admitted her feelings to the first LI and she rejected her it was still framed as the other’s fault#for not reciprocating the feelings….worst trope….also like. it kind of conflated her not feeling that way to her having a bit of class disc#which. yikes? oh my god stop villainising people for not reciprocating romantic feelings (ALSO they turn out to be related anyway 🤪)#i just feel like the romance switchover could have been done with more nuance and complexity
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bl00dw1tch · 1 year
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God. God. God. Holy fucking shit i love Avatar so fucking much
#horse.txt#im being so real right now it breaks my goddamn heart that so many people hate it on principle and go into it waiting to be disappointed#like. god. seriously? how do so few people seem to see the shit im seeing? how do people not GET its RIGHT THERE???#idk man im like. high and the hd release is out so it feels like Christmas but this shit has been on my mind and its at like a precipice#its one thing when ppl just aren't into it but the absolute LOATHING and DISDAIN people harbour for these movies is just. baffling#i cant understand it#i hate statistics. why did it have to pan out this way#how can anybody hate this production literally decades in the making? the fucking DEFINITION of a Passion Project?#the labour and love and inventive GENIUS that has gone into these films--and#you know what? the writing ISN'T that fucking awful. its not perfect because no movie is ever fucking perfect and sometimes you#have to give a script and characters breathing room. room to make mistakes!!! because this fucking obsession with#'characters dont have to be realistic!' is BULLSHIT. and NO saying that does not conflict with the idea that Characters=/=real ppl in#discourse!the ideas can fucking coexist! having realistic characters is GOOD its fucking GOOD when theyre stupid and do shit you dont like!#because thats what REAL PEOPLE DO thats what makes them fucking COMPELLING thats what youre SUPPOSED to let draw you in!!!!!!#but noooo no no no no keep repeating your smurf pocahontas jokes and roll your eyes at anyone who does like it like theyre stupid#because you can't be assed to give something a chance just because everyone Else is calling it stupid#and you dont want them to roll their eyes at /you/#i know this is dumb to be so heated about but im just. im sad man. im happy im having a great day!! but im sad#about how few people i can share it with yk..???
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Ignore
#delete later#in typical birthday fashion i am now exhausted snd overwhelmed and battling a meltdown#i stubbed my toe and now cant put any fucking weight on it#im exhausted from performing appropriate birthday excitement. i dont think i understand birthdays correctly#to me the only relevance of ppls birthday is that i can show that i care about them and give gifts that make them happy or#spend time with them. other than that its just a day. in my head my birthday is just a day but it's a day rhat im expected to be#ecstatic over. i dont understand that. i spend the day worried im not feeling the correct feelings or displaying them right#and worried bc the normal day routine is broken and im anxious bc i don't know what will happen#too much uncertainty. abd rhat anxiety makes me feel guilty. but at the same time bc to me birthdays are avout showing the#person that you care. if everyone ignored it i would start to assume they dont care. idk how to fix my brain on this#at least its only once a year. plus the whole still being alive at 24 thing freaks me out. so when i inevitably have my#meltdown or shutdown it comes with not fun things#i get the same way at christmas except its slightly more socially acceptable for me to hide at christmas.#meltdowns make me angry abd emotional so i know im being a bitch in my head but logic is hard so im just upset and angry#and confused on how im supposed to feel and act. i fucking hate my brain.#i have ordered good comfort food abd have weighted blanket abd new piercing. life is okay#i dont want to see mu parents this weekend but it will be what it will be. im so fucking tired
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needylittlegirl · 4 months
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starting to feel like maybe i wasn’t cut out for this whole being alive business
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