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thots4hee · 1 year

Text

This is not a Movie

Where there is no place for first love.

Jayxfem!readerxHeeseung

warnings!:suggestive, mention of the A word, cheating, TOXIC CHARACTERS! angst

wc: 2920

ミミ◦❧◦°˚°◦.¸¸◦°´*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*´°◦¸¸.◦°˚°◦☙◦彡彡ミミ◦❧◦°˚°◦.¸¸◦°´*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*´°◦¸

“You missed me?” Heeseung affectionately caress your cheeks. His rough hands against your cheek is a feeling that he’s here, in your space. Breathing the same air as you.

With the thick tension in the air, and having the urge to smash your lips against his, you touch his hand that was on your cheek to stop his fondness on your skin.

You locked eyes with him, and you can see the warmness in them that you’re so used to.

“Tell me Y/n, tell me that you miss me. Tell me that you longed for me. Tell me that you want me back.” His minty breath fanning your face, luring his lips on yours.

You continuously shook your head and backed away from him. Looking at the ground to hide the fact that there are tears escaping your eyes. The small space with him at the elevator makes it hard for you to breathe.

You feel sick.

After so many years of wondering where the fuck was he. Then, one day he’s going to show up as if he didn’t do anything wrong. As if he didn’t damage your soul. It made you crazy for thinking where the fuck was he. You have no idea what happened to him. If he died or he just left you for no goddamn reason at all.

One day, he was just… gone. Nobody saw him.

Like he didn’t exist at all.

“You fucked me up.” Trembling, you still force to blurted it out.

Heeseung’s face fell. He straightened up and prepared himself for what’s about to come. For the past years he’s preparing himself for you. He made a very big mistake to leave just like that, but he’s here now.

He’s ready now.

“I can explain, just let me hold you y/n. Please” his voice trembling, he’s scared but courageous enough to say those to you.

Feeling weak and confuse, you didn’t fight back anymore when he held you like a child. You closed your eyes and feel his warm embrace. His cologne engulfing your senses and his warmth adds to the heat inside the broken elevator where you two at.

His arms encircling on your waist while he held your head and put it at his temple.

For the first time after six years, you finally felt him. Feels like everything was perfect, it felt like a dream that your younger self was longing for.

Heeseung was holding you like you were some kind of a porcelain doll he didn’t want to break. Fragile thin paper glass he was so gentle at. Hogging you from the world. How long he dreamed of you this close. To feel you, to touch you.

“I’m so sorry Y/n, God knows how long I wanted to hold you like this again.” He closed his eyes to stop himself from sobbing. His voice cracked at the end. You knew he was being honest. His heart was the one speaking for him.

He was the Lee Heeseung, the star boy in your college. The team leader of the basketball team, the valedictorian. In short, he’s the ace. Everyone neither adored or hated him.

You knew him too well. From his features, his smell, and his touch.

Because for once he was your haven in this world full of chaos. He was your first love. Six years ago he’s your everything until he ghost you out of nowhere. As if he didn’t happen. You search for him everywhere but there was no trace of him. You guys were working out well, and it confused you how could he do this to you. He promised you forever but he left. Not just a broken heart but something else too.

You searched for him, knocked on his house every single day to ask for him but there were no sign of him.

After a year you just stopped. Lost all hope in seeing him again. Decided to move on, graduate and pursued your dream. Accepted the fact that Heeseung left, in the worst way possible.

“Get away from me Heeseung.” You harshly pulled yourself away from his hold, he slowly dropped his arms and sighed. This is not what he look forward to. Though he understands your grudge. But deep down he hope you will accept his explanation.

You silently pray to god that someone will notice your disappearance and this stupid broken elevator. What on earth this shit happened, you being stuck in here with your ex - boyfriend.

Just great.

Heeseung was silent, just observing you. You’ve changed. A lot.

From your body figure, it gotten mature and all the curves are all at the right places. Your hair gotten longer. You’re clothes, he noticed your change of style, oh how its familiar to him. He just couldn’t pinpoint to whom it belong to. What he noticed the most was your face, it didn’t change at all. Before, you look like a sweet angel, and until now you still do. For the past six years your face was all he thinks about. It was tattooed on his mind.

Though he regret leaving you after what happened. It hurts him to do so but he got no choice back then. Leaving you without notice. No calls and texts, he’s hoping that you will accept his explanation. What he did was unjustifiable, but he got a valid reason. Whether it sounds stupid. Whether it sounds selfish on his part. He did those for you. For your sake. But he got a feeling that he’s too late now.

“I know what you’re thinking about Heeseung. I don’t accept bullshit. If you going to blurt one out. Save it. I don’t want to hear it. We are over and I’m happy with someone else now” You said with conviction. It’s true that you are in a relationship with someone you adore and love. And whenever Heeseung have in store isn’t going to work. Valid or not, you do not care anymore. It will not matter anymore.

Heeseung was a painful past you don’t want to rewind anymore. Let alone hear and bare.

“What we did in here is a mistake, after we get out of here pretend that we did not know eachother Lee Heeseung.” He shook his head not agrreing with your suggestion.

“Please! For this once please do me a favor. Maybe Ill forgive you after what you’ve done-“ you begged but he interrupted you.

“How about me y/n? do you think I can forgive you after what you’ve done?” He’s trying to turn the tables now?

This time you looked at him. Shocked and confused. Why was he turning it on you?

“What the hell are you talking about? You’re the one who left me! At my worst you chose to leave without saying a thing! How am I to blame in here? Why must I ask you to forgive me? I fucking hate you Heeseung, with all my soul and being!”

Heeseung finally cracked a smile, a painful one. He shook his head and looked at you. He knew she can’t lie, not in his face. She may lie to the world, but not to him. He knew everything.

“Stop lying to me, don’t deny shit to me because I know what you’ve done to our unborn child Y/N. And that is the fucking reason why I left! But I guess, I’m too late now, huh?” Saying this out loud is painful for him. He knew he hit a spot after he saw the shock on your face.

He couldn’t react after he felt a stinging pain in his right cheek. And a pair of hands pounding on his chest. He grabbed both of you arms and hugged you tight to stop you from hurting him.

You were crying now, removing his arms around you.

“I fucking hate you! You knew?! You fucking knew and you still left! How could you!” screaming while removing onto his hold. You do not care about anything anymore at the moment. You just want to hurt him. After all those years of keeping the secret and suppressing your feelings, it finally exploded.

You dreamed about building a family with Heeseung before. Having a home with him, baring his children. Him going home to you while you prepare a warm dinner at the table. Waking up beside him every morning. That was your dream after college.

Lee Heeseung was the dream.

Though Heeseung doesn’t have a lot back then, you’re ready for such commitment. You loved him that much. That’s when you found out that you were four weeks pregnant, you were happy. Despite being a third year college student, still relying on your parents’ money and connections, you knew You and Heeseung will get through this.

You waited a week before telling him but he’s nowhere to be found.

But he found out before you could tell him about it. He went to your house while you were not there to surprise you. He went straight to your room and found several pregnancy test scattered at your study table and all of them are positive. He was about to surprise you but instead he was the one who got surprised.

He didn’t see this coming, he feels stupid. He was so careful how can this happen?

Clutching the test in his hands, he sit at the edge of your bed and gripped his hair in frustration. Thinking of a way to explain to you how he couldn’t handle such a big step.

He’s not ready to be a father. He got nothing right now.

His title at the university might be big but he’s not rich. His family doesn’t give a fuck about him, let alone announcing that he’s going to be a father at a young age and shit situation.

He was at his peak and graduation is right at the corner, he cannot fuck it up. So he made a tough decision. If it means staying away from you.

He has so many dreams for you. For the both of you. Having a child on the way is not what he imagine. It can wait.

“You were happy then right Y/N? Since you want to be a mother. You told me that. You dreamed of a house with me, children with me. A home with me!-”

“Yes! Yes Heeseung, I was so ready to have it! Im ready to become a mother of your child back then! But you ruined it, you ruined it for us! You ruined my dream. You crushed my soul, you killed me! You killed my child!” you mean our child y/n…

Heeseung shook his head as you said those to him, you do not understand. Not one bit.

“Then what about my dreams, love?” he weakly said. Shoulders down. He’s tired.

“Have you ever asked me, if I was ready to be a father? Yes, I can quit college, work two jobs to provide because I don’t want your parents to look down on us. Heck, I can work day and night for you, go home to you, make you happy even if I got tired.”

“But how about the love for the child? The care? The emotional support? Have you ever considered those Y/N? Heaven knows how I want to be tied to you, but in those times I know I cannot do those, because I got nothing. I got nothing but big dreams for us. I want you to pursue your dreams, achieve them with me. Be successful with me first. But the universe have another in store for us. I am so sorry love. I have no option that day. I was nothing before.”

“That why I left, I gave you no choice. I know you’ll won’t listen to me so I made my own decision to leave after I found out. I don’t want to hurt you. I did this for us Y/N” Heeseung was now cupping your face, God knows he gathered a lot of strength to blurt the truth out. This is his truth.

“For us? That’s why you left me no choice but to kill our unborn child. I was so scared to be alone, let alone be a single mother! You left me no choice but to abort it. You’re a fucking monster! You didn’t even ask me! You didn’t give us a chance!” Your shoulders were shaking at this point, anger and sadness engulfing the space. It finally spilled.

Suddenly the lights inside the elevator starts to flicker and the elevator starts to move, you bumped onto Heeseung and hold onto his arms for support and he hurriedly held you gently. You might call him a monster, but he doesn’t give a fuck about it. Call him whatever you want, he will not stay away from you.

You hurriedly fixed your face and clothes. The air is hot and you silently hope that they won’t notice your puffy eyes from crying.

The elevator came into a halt and the door finally opened, you remove Heeseung’s hold and Jay appeared and embraced you to his arms.

“What happened y/n? are you okay baby? I’m so worried I kept on calling” He panicked and he hold you face and put it in the crook of his neck as he caress the back of your head. Not noticing his ex bestfriend at the elevator not until you lift your head to look back at the elevator and Heeseung was standing there, shock was evident on his face.

He couldn’t fucking believe it.

Park Jongseong huh?

So while he was away, Jongseong made his move on to you. Heeseung knew ever since he was going out with you during college days Jongseong has this tiny crush on you. He didn’t pay no mind during then. But this scene infront of him hurts. Maybe he’s truly too late for your love. What he lost back then couldn’t be his again this time.

Jongseong finally look at what your looking at and his gripped on your waist tightened. His breathing got ragged and he got nervous. He felt threatened.

No, he’s scared.

Not at Him, He’s scared that you’ll leave him for Heeseung.

First loves are strong to fight the second, the third, and the last.

Park Jongseong knew first love never dies.

He’s determined to break that.

He payed no mind at his ex-best friend’s existence and affectionately called Y/N’s name. Carefully withdrawing you from his gaze while thanking the maintenance for fixing the broken elevator and finding you.

He put his arms securely to your waist and you two went down to his car and to go home.

The ride home was quiet. You were quiet while staring at the window beside you. Jongseong let it be. You might not say it, but he knew something happened at the elevator with Heeseung. As much as it hurts him, he knew you wouldn’t cross a line to hurt him. He just hope you could open up about it later. He saw you at your worst and fixed you, and he wouldn’t miss a chance to do it again.

He will fix you again and again as much as it hurts him. Just you being here with him is enough to keep him sane.

He loves you eversince. Before Heeseung and after Heeseung. He fucking loves you. He couldn’t afford to lose you.

The car stopped and you both unbuckle your belts silently and you opened the main door to your house. You let Jay in first and he released a heavy sigh that made you lift your head to look at him as you remove your heels and shut the door behind you.

He threw his head back at the sofa as he manspreads. His lap is inviting, his eyes are closed and he was biting his lips. Deep in his thoughts.

You remember what happened back at the elevator. You responded to Heeseung’s kiss and that made you feel guilty. You feel disgusted and wanted to forget about it, about him.

You left the thought about Heeseung and what happened at the back of your head as you made your way to Jay’s lap. He lifted his head and he placed his veiny hands on your hips to guide you to sit on top of him.

“baby what’s wrong?” Jay said in the most gently voice he can muster. He’s so gentle and just so dreamy to look at right now. Below you, hair messy and lips red.

Placing your legs at his sides and closing the gap between you two,

You cuddled onto his chest and he wrapped his arms around you and gripped your ass close to his growing bulge.

You hummed and released a content sigh. Already feeling aroused with just his touch and boner nudging your pulsating clit through your panties.

He fixed his sitting position at the sofa and thrusted onto you upward meeting your wet pussy. Panty already damped and sticking onto your cunt.

“Make love to me Jay, baby” you purred at his ear. Eager to get to taste heaven at his hands. Sitting on top of his aching cock you dry humped him. Making sure he will feel how ready you are to take him.

Heeseung doesnt matter anymore, he lives in the past and he will stay there. Jay is the future, Jay is your dream, as you are to him.

ミミ◦❧◦°˚°◦.¸¸◦°´*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*´°◦¸¸.◦°˚°◦☙◦彡彡ミミ◦❧◦°˚°◦.¸¸◦°´*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*´°◦¸

@forjongseong my bb ghouRL, my inspiration and my babi

All the love xx nini ♡

Tell me if I need do a part two. I miss writing so much. Thank you for more than 500 followers! it means alot to me. I miss you and when this reach a ton, and demand. Ill make a part two. I want to also read your thoughts, ask is always open.

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