#nik speaks

[prjctdiva]

lil buddy watching me go on my daily salmon run shift

#im sorry babe but the grind never stops #nik speaks #splatoon #splatoon 3

[apt502-if]

Coming together nicely....

#SOON #nik speaks

[queervegancryptid]

tl;dr – spoopy-valkyrie >>>>> queervegancryptid

Hi all. I’m Nik, and I’ve been on tumblr for a long time, mostly as spoopy-valkyrie. This blog is a new project, or a backup of sorts. I’m not sure yet.

A little about me: trans guy, age 34. vegan since age 16. disabled. PTSD, anxiety, anorexia, bulimia, ADHD, and like, 80 more things. I love learning new things, and I’m a super curious person and enjoy gabbing about a variety of different topics, and I will if given the opportunity. But I also love when other people do that, even if I don’t share the interest in particular, because it’s awesome to see people get so enthusiastic. That’s the goal of this whole tumblr thing for me, in general.

This blog is not designated “explicit,” but anything NSFW will be tagged as such. I have done and continue to engage in sex work, and I don’t apologize for it. This blog won’t be focused on that primarily, but it may be discussed, so minors please DNI. Otherwise, all are welcome to follow and interact. But if you’re going to harass me or if you’re in the habit of spreading bigotry, kindly fuck off. If you can’t be nice, I will block you.

I’ll edit/add to this pinned post as needed. If you use tag filtering and would like something tagged that isn’t, just send an ask/msg, and I’ll do my best to accommodate it.

#personal #nik speaks #like if u read #ask 2 tag #blog switching #minors dni

[chimichingas]

@ m'mutuals: trying on a new URL, but don't worry, lil' ghosty icon will remain

[storiesfromtheaether]

wild. people mention my story in tiktok comments.

#a half of a whole #tiktok #fanfiction #merlin #ao3 #nik speaks #live long in the minds of men

[nikolai-alexi]

PALS I FINALLY GET TO START T TODAY!!!!!!

#niks rambles #nonbinary #first testosterone dose #trans #trans masc #nik speaks

[the-wolfpack]

tfw ya pay 80 plus dollars for two shirts n stickers for the new 30th anniversary dookie merch

i don’t got a problem i swear

#nik speaks #i’m fine we’re not dealin with any mental illness shit #it doesn’t matter green day is my favorite band forever and means the universe to me #retail therapy #green day

[natelia-aldelliz]

Some toddler au drawings because I couldn't stop myself

Featuring :

Kyle "the outside world is scary don't you dare put me down or worse, give me to the weird moustache man" Garrick,

Nik- "ahah I'm now both our children's favourite dad" -olai (do we even know his last name?)

Jonathan "😭😭😭" Price

Simon "side foot walking autism representation instead of toe-walking bc I very very rarely see it and it's what I do, also he's just a baby and he breaks my heart and I want to hug him really badly" Riley

John "nice frog, anyway, I think I'm about to jump into this puddle, and I'm not gonna do anything to stop it, even while knowing perfectly well that I am gonna cry about my socks being wet right after" MacTavish

and finally, Gary "do I show the weird moustache man my frog or do I put it in my mouth?" Sanderson.

And none of them have shoes because they all hate them and get rid of them as soon as the adults try to put them on. (Simon didn't, but he started crying silently as soon as they were on so they took them off immediately)

#cod mw2 #kyle gaz garrick #cod nikolai #captain john price #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #gary roach sanderson #toddlers 141 au #i gave baby soap a mullet because i think it's adorable #wouldn't it be funny if when mama mactavish arrives he doesn't recognise her because she looks normal now #and when he was a toddler she looked punk/metal or something #it's funny bc the mactavish family changes with every au of mine #in the werewolf au they're bad people #in the necromancer au it's just his mother and she's a cottagecore sweet little healing lady #and here his parents are retired-ish punks who just like the last au absolutely adore their children #the second child of nikprice is farah btw #all the kids initially kind of think price is scary much to his dismay because he's really tall and he has a big moustache and that's scary #and nik is also really tall but he's funny and not scary because he has a 'weird funny voice' (it's his accent) #roach was never scared of price tho bc he's legit scared of absolutely nothing and it's the world who should be scared #speaking of 'should be scared' the frog definitely should #they warm up pretty quickly to price tho so he doesn't cry too much about it (he is a bit salty when they turn back into adults) #adult roach is so resilient bc baby roach tried to kill him every step of the way #ultimately he decided to show his frog to simon instead #frog got lucky

[prjctdiva]

when no one booyah backs at the start of turf war it's bad enough but when no one booyah backs at the start of salmon run it's like.. oh we're in the TRENCHES

#just played with a team where it was DEADDD silent I tried to initiate booyahs and it was literal crickets #i don't even think they called for help so well all died at the end of wave 2 #how tf you make it to profresh and not know that #nik speaks #splatoon #splatoon 3

[apt502-if]

Redid the Rainn breakup scene to make it even more cringy and embarrassing lmao

Now instead of breaking up in the privacy of their apartment, Rainn is going to dump you in front of an audience! :}

#nik speaks #I just had to #about: rainn

[queervegancryptid]

I never thought I'd be back to substituting food with diet soda. Intentionally, not as a side effect of my ADHD meds or because I'm not hungry, or because I couldn't afford food.

My cat is not doing well. Financially, my partner and I are dead in the water. His mom fell the other day, and she's doing relatively well, but it's still been tough. She helps us sometimes with money, but she has new medical bills, and those are likely to increase over time. Even if she wants to help, she can't do a lot, and right now, we have to come up with money for imaging, because she likely has a mass in her lower abdomen. And she's losing weight, and we might have to put her to sleep, if it's cancer. And the vet seems to think that's a strong possibility.

And then last night my partner and I were watching the Daily Show, and Jon Stewart did a very moving segment on his dog who recently crossed the rainbow bridge. He had tears in his eyes, and I just couldn't hold it together. And the turmoil and anguish in me is like, crescendoing, becoming impossible to suppress. I cried for over an hour this morning. It hurts so much that I find myself holding my breath at times, because I almost can't bear to keep living another single fucking moment. And then I take a breath, and another, and another, and somehow, I survive, even if I don't particularly want to in the moment.

I'm not going to unalive myself or anything. But I have reached a point where I need to find a way to make things better in order to go on living, because there's so much that's so unfair. And it just stays unfair. And it could not be more obvious to me why it stays unfair, and watching it continue and get even worse is more than I can stand. And I know where things are going, if certain people get their way. I don't have the spoons to explain right now, but look up Project 2025. They literally put it in writing, and they aren't even remotely trying to hide their intentions. None of us are safe.

I'm not the kind of person who inflicts violence on others; I'm very unhappy with the flagrant bullshit I see, and I have no idea how to cope with it. I do understand how a person could be pushed to the point where their despair is so great that they decide to take themselves out and take the people they see as responsible with them. Intellectually, I understand how that could seem tempting to a certain kind of person, but it wouldn't result in an outcome that includes actual, lasting change. As angry as I might feel, as demoralizing as things can be, I want things to get better, and I might be crazy, but I'm not that kind of crazy.

Still, it feels worse to watch all of it go down, knowing what I know, if I don't even try to do anything about it. Maybe I can't do anything to change things directly, and I'm not doing a phone bank thing. I live in Florida, and as a visibly queer person, I don't feel safe in a lot of places; otherwise, I might volunteer at a polling place or something. I was actually thinking about it during the 2020 election cycle, before January 6, but that was then.

I don't know if I can have an impact or even what that would look like. But I have to try. Somehow, it hurts more to be a passive observer.

#nik speaks #personal #project 2025 #su1c1dal ideation #anorexia #eating disorder #politics #animal death ment tw #death and despair! death and despair! #like the goth kids from south park #i need to lie down

[storiesfromtheaether]

oh shit. old thing being touched.

of course I can’t write on my main projects.

when I write.

#dgm #Nik speaks #fanfic problems

[deleteddewewted]

Nikolai and Captain Price are married right? Theres no way they arent and don't bother to tell me otherwise.

#The way Nik always knows what Price needs or wants Is so cute #literally adorable #dd rambles #dd speaks #cod #mw2 #price x nikolai

[pfhwrittes]

dumping this super quick retail hell thought out. alex would be the decor manager and farah would be the showrooms manager (and of course alex finds any excuse so he can to go up to her end of the store and linger around flashing her as many megawatt grins as he can)

#retail hell au #he totally uses gaz to pass farah love notes #and asks nik for tips so he can speak to farah in arabic