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#night time is a new universe
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Sarah Sisko’s whole deal is so horrifying and messed up and DS9 just kinda. Glosses over it
#Imagine you are just a random Australian woman on Earth. Living your life minding your business#and then you get possessed by an alien force who have a Destiny they need to enact#And so controls you to go to New Orleans and hook up with a guy you’ve never met and you marry him and live with him for three years#And give birth to a son#And evidently that was what the alien wanted because once you have had a son the alien possession vacates your body#And you are in control of yourself again for the first time in three years#Married to a guy you didn’t seek out with a son you didn’t have a choice in#And the man is sweet and kind and in live with you! And thought you lived him! But you can’t bear it#So you leave him and leave the kid and hightail it back to Australia because what else can you do??#And eventually commit suicide because you can’t handle this. Your life was upended in an impossible horrifying way for three years#You disappeared from your life with no warning for three years and then showed up again to people who think you just left#It’s the Star Trek universe—‘I was mind controlled by an alien force’ is well known#But that’s not supposed to happen to you. You aren’t a starfleet adventurer you live on Earth. Why You?#I feel like. Sarah your life was so horrifying/tragic and it wasn’t even about you#And even DS9 just brings this up practically in passing and then never dwells on it ever#perpetual perpetual ladies night#Star Trek#Deep Space 9#ST:DS9
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thedo0zyslider · 3 months
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here's all the moments hinting that am!Jimmy was trans before it got revealed. I was not trying to be subtle at all lmao
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br-uwu-cewayne · 2 years
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Honestly what i want MOST right fucking now is an infinite earths/multiverse style event where there's some dimensional crossover type thing but not like huge just like
Just Brucie.
Just dear darling Brucie Wayne plopped right into the middle of Battinson's Gotham. Right in the manor. Right on the spray painted hardwood floors. Right in front of the poor little meow meow himself.
I need it like AIR.
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mxcrowave · 2 years
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i am. going to prove that all of shakespeare's antonios are the same.
this is a threat. /lh
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b4kuch1n · 17 days
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tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"
#bakuspeech#number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u#he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up#(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out)#we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment#and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here#but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something#but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku#but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this#this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and#that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing#but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it#its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with#and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually#I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay#but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol#not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real#and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself#and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god#that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao#but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them#have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway
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appalachianapologies · 2 months
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Remittent Distress
Chapter One
Fic Summary: After years of being on the run and keeping his head down, Mac finally receives the opportunity to end this screwed up game of hide-and-seek for good. With the help of two unlikely friends, some unconventional skill sets, and plenty of all-nighters, Mac attempts to track down his father before James gets to him first. It's been six months since an ordinary mission turned to hell, leaving its permanent marks on Jack Dalton—both physically and emotionally. But when information about a wild kid he came across four months ago gets dropped into his lap, he has to push it all down in order to find not just the kid, but the truth behind him as well.
(The big ol' fic in Smoking Room Universe)
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matchandelure · 1 year
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realizing that all of the fictional characters i love the most can be sorted into three distinct categories: the one with questionable morals willing to do anything for the person they care for, and the one who’s just there to vibe but has no idea how to be a person because they were never taught how to, and the detective
#AND YOU KNOW WHAT MAYBE SOMETIMES THEY WILL BE ALL THREE AND WHEN THAT DOES HAPPEN#I THINK ABOUT THEM FROM THE MOMENT I WAKE UP TO THE MOMENT I GO TO SLEEP#i will be makign breakfast and think hhhm i wonder how they would like their bagels#i will be sitting in class wondering whether calculus and linalg would come easier for them than it does for me#i wll be doing homework and will see the sunset and think huh those match their colours#i will pick an outfit for the day with the end goal of matching their energy for the day#genuinely cannot just. how do you like something without being so absorbed you actually cannot focus on anything else#i will log onto botw spend one night in rito village then be thinking about it for the rest of the day#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa my schools on break now so im using the time that was allocated to studying for exams to#draw and play games and do nothing productive :'''(#willows rambling branch#im really happy though bc lately i got a few new clothing pieces that now let me coordinate outfits that match linhardt vibes#LIEK THIS PAIR OF JEANS THAT FLARE flair..(?) OUT AT THE BOTTOM BUT NOT RIDICULOUSLY LARGE LIKE BELLBOTTOMS#JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT AND THEY CREATE THE NICEST SILOUHETTE WHEN I WEAR MY HEELED BOOTS AND MATCH IT WITH A TIGHTER FITTING TURTLENECK ON T#OP AND WEAR A CARDIGAN OR OVERSIZED BLOUSE OVER IT#what do you mean university isnt a fashion show i wake up everyday so that i can wear my silly little outfits and attend my not so silly#calculus lectures and cs labs and econ lectures and stupid weekly mditerms
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korixae · 5 months
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my sister’s trying to finish doctor who before november 25th right and she’s fucking power watching, like she was literally on s10 LAST WEEK and tonight she’s just started s13. she’s been getting up at 6:30 everyday to watch it before school and then stealing the tv from the moment she gets home to the moment she goes to sleep. i haven’t seen her or the sofa in months
#i am enthusiastically encouraging her ofc#she expressed to me today how she doesn’t know what she’s going to do once she’s finished. she doesn’t know how to return to a normal life#where every waking moment isn’t consumed with doctor who#i’ll have to introduce her to the spin-offs and eu content#is 10 too young to watch torchwood? i’ll set her off on sja#actaully she turns 11 the day after the last special airs#she asked my mum if we had plans on the 9th and my mum was like NO you can’t have friends to sleep for ur birthday and we were just no no m#ther ofc that’s not what she’s asking we need that night free for the 60th you fiend#it’s been really convenient for me too bcs i’ve got a nice little recap#sooo lucky for her tho thats she’s timed it just right so she can finish it the day new content comes out#we watched the timeless children tonight and she was all ‘>:( the masters so evil’ while i was kicking my feet and going aww arent they so#cute so in love hehehe la la la#she’s deeply invested in thasmin#i cant wait for her to watch s13 cus damn she’s gonna love the thasmin-ness of it all#really just typed this all out on tumblr bcs i have no dw friends irl :( apart from her#i’ve really got her with dw she’s forcing her friends to watch it and for world book day they’re going as rose and the doctor#they’ve started a role play where they write letters as rose and ten to each other across universes#she made tea stained paper and everything#anyways stopping myself here goodnight 🫡#doctor who#kori shitposts#loubatania
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oflgtfol · 6 months
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“But no one actually ‘looks’ through [modern telescopes]. Margaret Huggins lamented the shift from gazing at the heavens to squinting at tiny patches of light. Now we’ve gone much, much further. In today’s astronomy, photons of light from the sky, along with the celestial secrets they contain, are picked up by electronic detectors, converted into digital data and crunched through impossibly complex equations by some of the most powerful computers on the planet. In 2016, bricklayer-turned-astronomer Gary Fildes described visiting Chile’s Very Large Telescope (VLT) in his best-selling book An Astronomer’s Tale. Incorporating four mirrors, each 27 feet wide, the VLT collects visible and infrared radiation and can distinguish points in the sky separated by less than a millionth of a degree. Here, at the forefront of today’s attempts to understand the stars, Fildes was struck by the sight of scientists hard at work in control rooms, eyes glued not to their telescopes but to banks of screens: ‘They didn’t look as if they had seen the real sky for days.’”
- The Human Cosmos: Civilization and the Stars by Jo Marchant
#brot posts#astro posting#GOD this puts to words something i really felt#as someone who fell in love with the idea of astronomy as this awe-filled wonder of the vast universe#and then going to college and sitting in a fucking dark classroom at the brink of dawn fucking 8am and doing nothing but MATH !!!!#like - theres no judgment here#very very obviously we need these technologies and math techniques to truly understand astronomy#but like the whole thesis to this book (so far? im thinking) is that like#in doing so - you lose something fundamental#astronomy is one of if not theee oldest sciences known to humanity#but the way it was practiced for millennia upon millennia of human history is so incredibly different from how we practice it now#i got a whole ass Bachelors of Science in Astronomy and never once was i required to actually look at the night sky .#and i dont think this same phenomenon exists in other fields of science#like as time goes on we ofc learn more and theres a certain level of abstraction as you get more separated from the immediate knowledge#afforded by your immediate senses#but the level of abstraction for astronomy is just. not really seen as much or as bad in other fields? imo?#anyway i remember a while ago saying that as i got further through my degree the less magical space felt to me#compared to when i was younger and knew nothing at all#and i said yeah its nice to /know/ things now but i still miss that magic when everything was new exciting and real#but you lose something. that magic. that soul. when your astronomg experience is not actually stargazing#but instead sitting in a room doing math on paper or doing nothing but staring at a computer screen
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atths--twice · 1 year
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Chapter Nineteen
It's New Year's Eve! Fox, Dana, and Ivy will be celebrating at the diner with their little core of friends.
December 31st
“Happy New Year!” a woman said to Fox as he walked past her on his way to the diner. 
“And to you!” he said with a smile and a nod. 
He pushed his hands further into his coat pockets to warm them, his gloves having gone home with Dana and Ivy yesterday. 
They had been ice skating, Ivy unsteady on her skates until he had taken her hands and slowly demonstrated how to do it. She had not let go of his hand until ten minutes before they left, skating slowly around the rink and grinning at him every few seconds. 
Getting some hot chocolate to warm up and discuss the day’s events, Ivy had picked up her cup and it slipped, spilling onto her new gloves. Tears had filled her eyes and ran down her cheeks as she stared at the wet panda faces.
“Oh no,” she had cried. “I’m so sorry.” 
“Hey,” Fox had said, reaching for some napkins. “It’s okay. It was just an accident.” 
“I was talking to the pandas!” she had cried louder and dropped her head down as she sobbed. 
He had looked at Dana, not knowing what to do, and she had smiled softly as she rubbed Ivy’s back. 
“Honey, let’s go into the bathroom, okay? We can rinse your gloves and try to clean them.” 
“Oooookay,” Ivy had said, breathing deeply and crying again. 
“We’ll be right back,” Dana had said and they walked to the bathroom, Ivy sniffling and crying quietly.  
“Poor kid,” he had said under his breath, sighing as he thought of the sad expression on her face. 
He had cleaned the table and ordered another hot chocolate when they had walked back to the table, Ivy’s face still sad. She had sighed as she sat beside him and he had put his arm around the back of her chair as he leaned close to her. 
“It’s okay, Ivy. Don’t worry. Your mom will get your gloves washed up even more at home and they will be okay.” 
“Yeah,” she had said quietly, nodding as she looked down. 
Her new hot chocolate had been set down and she had stared at it before looking up at him, her blue eyes filling with tears. 
“Excuse me,” he had said to the waiter. “Could we have a straw please?” 
“Sure,” he had said, taking one from his pocket and setting it on the table. 
“Thanks.” 
Picking it up, he had ripped the paper off the end of the straw and then smiled at Ivy. 
“Do you want to see a magic trick?” 
She had nodded, blinking away her tears and wiping at her eyes. He had carefully pushed the wrapper down the straw, keeping it in a tight accordion shape. When it had reached the bottom, he had taken it off the straw and laid the wrapper onto the table and put the straw into his glass of ice water. 
“So, this is a trick my mom showed me when I was little and I always thought it was so cool.” 
He had lifted the straw until it had been barely in the water and then placed his thumb over the top of it. A small amount of water had remained held in the bottom of the straw as he had brought it toward the wrapper. 
“Ready? Watch.” 
He had tapped a tiny dot of water on the wrapper and it began to expand, growing bigger and stretching out. Ivy had gasped and sat forward to look at it closer. He had tapped another spot and it moved again, the wrapper expanding further. 
“How do you do that?” she had asked, smiling as she had looked at him. “It’s like a snake!” 
“It’s magic. Pretty cool, huh?” 
“Can you show me how to do it?” 
“Sure,” he had said, smiling at her and then at Dana who had been watching them with her chin resting on her hand and smiling happily. 
The waiter had been flagged down and more straws had been given to them to try out the magic snake trick. 
Demonstrating how to drip the water carefully on a used wrapper, Ivy had then done it on her own new wrapper and it had expanded, as she had laughed excitedly. 
As she had played a bit more, drinking her hot chocolate through two straws, he had picked up one of the abandoned straws and wound it up until it had been one large bubble in the middle. Turning to Dana, he had held it out towards her and she had grinned. Flicking it hard, it had popped and he had smiled as she leaned around Ivy and pulled at his sweater, bringing him closer to kiss him softly. 
“You’re a wonderful man,” she had whispered and he had smiled against her lips, kissing her again before he had leaned back and smiled. 
When they had left, he had placed his gloves on Ivy’s hands, making a show out of looking for her fingers and causing her to laugh. She had held one of his hands, and Dana the other, as he had walked them home.
“So your hands don’t get cold,” Ivy had said, squeezing his hand gently. 
They had, however, as they were exposed to the cold wind, but he had only smiled, not saying one word about it. 
He laughed under his breath at that memory and then smiled as the diner came into view and his steps quickened. Knocking on the door, he waited for it to be opened. The diner was closed to the public for the evening, aside from those who had been invited to celebrate the New Year. 
The blinds parted and Lucy, wearing a pair of neon pink New Years glasses and a large brightly colored rainbow boa, grinned as she unlocked the door. 
“Password?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.
“Umm,” he said, not remembering a password being given. “Happy New Year?” 
“Bingo!” Lucy said, closing the door and locking it once he had stepped through it laughing. 
“Happy New Year, Lucy,” he said again, and she nodded as she took off her boa and threw it around his neck. “Oh… thank you?” 
“Joe’s wife, Sharice, brought in a whole box of them. This one suits you better than me. I’ll go grab a different one. Happy New Year to you too, Fox. Your girl’s around here somewhere.” She grinned with a wink and he smiled back as she danced away from him. 
He chuckled as he looked down at the boa and flipped it around his neck like a scarf as he stepped further into the diner. 
Everyone in attendance was dressed up, talking and laughing with one another as sounds of singing came from the back of the diner where a karaoke machine had been set up. A massive amount of food and drinks were set out and people were grabbing what they wanted, before sitting down at the tables and booths around the diner. 
He said hello to a few of the regular patrons who had been invited. Most of Manny and Joe’s family members were there along with the majority of the staff and their families. 
He spotted Dana and Ivy dancing in the walkway between the booths, Ivy laughing as Dana dipped her down low and then stood her up, spinning her quickly. She was wearing a new dress, with a black top and a rainbow skirt at the bottom that fanned out around her. 
Dana, her long hair down, wearing a red and black boa around her own neck over a midnight blue dress that stopped at the knee, black leggings and tall black boots, caught his eye and smiled. Pulling Ivy close, she bent down and whispered in her ear, while keeping her eye on him. When Ivy turned her head, she grinned and ran toward him at full force. 
“Fox!” she shouted as he caught her and lifted her up. “You’re here! You have a rainbow boa! Did you see me spinning?” She squeezed him around the neck, laughing as the boa feathers tickled her nose, and then pulled back to look at him. “Watch me spin.” 
She shimmied in his arms and he set her down with a chuckle. Raising her arms up, she spun around and around, the rainbow skirt twirling out very far above her black polka dotted tights. She laughed as she stopped, slightly dizzy and off balance. 
“Did you see that?” she asked him, bumping gently into a table. 
“I sure did. It’s the perfect twirly dress for you, Miss Ivy.” 
“Yes, it is,” she said matter-of-factly and he laughed. 
Someone called her name and she took off running, her long hair whipping behind her. Shaking his head, he looked at Dana with a smile. 
“She’s having fun,” he stated. 
She smiled, but did not answer. Instead, she stepped closer to him and reached her arms, wrapping them around his neck. He smiled as he pulled her close, breathing in her scent of coconut and the body spray she wore. 
“Hello,” she whispered. “God, you smell good.” 
“I was just thinking the same thing about you,” he whispered back, nuzzling her nose with his, breathing in again. 
“I like this boa you chose,” she said and he laughed. 
“It was bestowed upon me, actually. I might have picked something more… muted.” 
“No such thing when it comes to feathered boas.” 
“True,” he agreed and she smiled. Bending his head, he kissed her softly. 
“Hmm,” she hummed, kissing him back with a bit more force, opening her mouth to capture his bottom lip. 
He breathed out through his nose and pulled her closer, just as he was grabbed around the waist. Pulling back in surprise, they both looked down to find Ivy grinning with an arm around both of them. 
“You love Mommy,” she stated and he laughed, looking at Dana with a nod. 
“I do,” he replied. 
“And you love Fox, Mommy,” she said, looking at Dana. 
“I do, honey.” She smiled as she stared at him and he grinned back at her. 
“That’s good. It’s nice to love people,” Ivy said, squeezing them both. 
“That’s the truth,” Fox said, raising a hand to cup Dana’s cheek, his thumb brushing her jaw tenderly as she nuzzled into it. 
Ivy had been exceedingly happy when they had told her they were in love with each other. 
“We’ll be dating, Ivy,” Dana had explained on the train as they had ridden home, squeezing Fox’s hand under the table. “That means that-”
“I know what it means,” Ivy had said with a knowing nod. “We do it at school.” 
“You… what?” Dana had asked, looking perplexed. 
“Mrs. Morgan tells us every day to put the date on our papers. So we make sure that we’re dating them.” 
Ivy had nodded, her expression serious and he had felt Dana squeeze his hand tightly as she had fought back laughter. He had squeezed back and cleared his throat. 
A discussion had then taken place as to what Dana had actually meant by dating and also what it would entail for them. 
“Fox will be at our apartment more?” Ivy had asked, blinking her blue eyes. 
“Yes, or you’ll be at mine,” he had said, smiling at her. 
“Oh good. I like your apartment. It makes me feel comfortable.” Ivy had smiled and he had gotten up to sit beside her and give her a hug. 
“That is a very kind thing to say, Ivy,” he had said. “Thank you. I’m glad to know you feel that way.” 
“I like you a lot, Fox. I’m happy that you love Mommy.” 
He had looked at Dana over the top of Ivy’s head and smiled at her. 
“Me too,” Dana had said, blinking her wet eyes. 
“So,” Fox said, looking down at Ivy now as he smiled and patted her back. “I see you aren’t wearing a boa, Miss Ivy. Would you like to wear mine? Or do you have one somewhere?” 
“Uh huh. I have a pink sparkly one by our jackets. I took it off because I don’t want to forget it later.” 
“Smart thinking,” he said and grinned at them both. “Come on, let’s get something to eat.” 
“Yes!” Ivy shouted. “Mommy, can I have some cake?” 
“Whatever you want tonight, honey. It’s a special holiday night, you can eat and drink whatever you want.” 
“Whatever I want?” Ivy asked, stopping in her tracks and staring at Dana. “Even candy and chocolate?” 
“Yup. Anything you want.” 
“Sparkly apple juice? Cookies?” 
“Whatever you want, Ives,” Dana said, laughing as she tapped Ivy’s nose. “And you don’t have to ask each time. Have whatever you feel like eating.” 
“Wow,” Ivy breathed, looking toward the tables full of food. “Anything I want…” She let out a deep breath and then smiled, hurrying to grab a plate and make her choices. 
“She’s going to be on quite the sugar high,” Fox said and Dana laughed in response. 
“It’s New Year’s Eve. Eating too much food is the best part about it. My mom used to make fudge, candy, cookies, this amazing caramel popcorn that I can never duplicate properly, and so many casseroles and sandwiches.”
“So your family went all out, huh?” he asked with a smile as he picked up a plate. “My mom also did that, but she didn’t cook it herself. One of her friends catered it and she made the most delicious food. The white chocolate peppermint fudge that she brought was my favorite. When she found out, she always made a special batch just for me.”
“Very kind of her,” Dana said, smiling at him as she glanced at Ivy and nodded when Ivy asked with her eyes, if the piece of cake on her plate was okay. Ivy grinned and walked away with a plate full of desserts, and little else, to join the other children. 
“You know what I love about having a child?” Dana asked as they walked to a table with their plates full of things to share. 
“What’s that?” he asked, smiling at her. 
“Things like this tonight. Letting her decide on food and drinks, giving her that responsibility and knowing it’s made a core memory within her. I gave her my trust and because I know that she’s had a foundation built of good choices and what happens if too much sugar and sweets are eaten, she will know her limit and pay attention to her body. She will definitely eat more than her fair share of sweets and treats, but she will also have some ham and some of the green beans, as I know she loves them both. I know that she will remember this night and the feeling it gave her to be responsible and aware of her independence. Then, one day, maybe she’ll do the same for her own child.” She shrugged as she set her plate down at a table and he did the same, taking her hand before she sat down. 
“I think you’re absolutely right.”
“I usually am. I think it’s time that you knew that about me,” she teased and he chuckled, squeezing her hand and then letting it go so they could sit and eat, their boas taken off and placed beside them. 
Throughout the night, they drank, ate, visited, sang karaoke, danced and laughed at any and everything. Ivy asked him to dance and he spun her around the room, singing along loudly to the song that was playing while Lucy and Dana danced together, singing along as well. 
The younger children began to tire out around half past ten, yawning and rubbing at their eyes. Ivy nodded off, and was led to a booth, where she slept, covered by a fleece blanket Dana had brought for such an occasion. 
“She never would have made it to midnight. I’m surprised she lasted this long,” Dana said as she smiled down at her. 
“Sugar will do that to you,” Fox agreed, smiling at Dana when she looked at him. “Come on, let’s dance.” 
As midnight approached, champagne was poured into glasses and set out on a table. Every adult took one, except for Lucy, who took two, dancing around without spilling a drop. 
“One minute!” Joe yelled and everyone stood waiting. 
Fox took Dana’s hand and squeezed, grinning and giving her a wink. 
“Do you make wishes or resolutions for the new year?” she asked. 
“Neither, usually,” he answered, rubbing his thumb over her hand. 
“We do both in my family. At midnight, we make a wish, which stays private, and we make a resolution, which is stated without worry over how out there it may sound or if it is attainable.” 
“I love that idea.” 
“Hmm,” she said with a nod. “So get yours ready.” 
“Yes, ma’am,” he teased and gently pulled her closer to him. “Although, I’m perfectly happy with my life at the moment. I don’t really need to wish for anything.” 
“Well, the wish is private. It could be anything.” 
“A pony?” he teased and she smiled. 
“If you like.” 
“Hmm, or maybe something better.” 
“Maybe.” 
“Thirty seconds!” Joe yelled out and people cheered. 
“You got it?” she asked and he nodded, cupping her jaw and running his thumb over her cheek. 
“Yeah. I got it,” he said, smiling as he stared into her eyes, knowing he had thought of nothing as he already had everything he needed. 
“Good. Me too.” 
“Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!” Everyone shouted, cheering loudly and blowing horns. 
Dana smiled and squeezed his hand, closing her eyes as her lips moved silently, reminding him of Ivy on her birthday. He smiled as he watched her, wondering what she was wishing for. 
Her eyes opened and she licked her lips quickly. Placing a hand on his chest, she raised up and kissed him gently. 
“Happy New Year,” she said before kissing him again. 
“And to you,” he said when they had broken apart, his hand now at her neck. 
“What’s your resolution?” 
“Oh, I have to tell you now?” he asked and she smiled. 
“Usually we share them right away, but if you want to wait, you can.” 
“Do you want to share yours?” 
“Hmm… I will when you do.” 
“Seems fair,” he said, smiling as he kissed her again, one arm around her waist as he held her head with the other, his fingers tangling in her hair. 
Festivities were shared with the others, hugs and kisses given as they laughed and teased one another. Manny and Joe thanked everyone for coming, the employees for all their hard work and dedication, the patrons for showing up every day, and their family for all they did to make everything possible. 
Seeing that as a cue to head out, they gathered their items, and said goodbye, thanking everyone for a fun and enjoyable evening. 
Dana put on her coat and added all of their fluffy boas to the backpack before putting it onto her back. She then slipped Ivy’s coat on her, zipping it and putting on her beanie, all as Ivy did not wake or even stir. 
“She’s out,” Fox laughed, lifting her into his arms, her head on his shoulder. He adjusted her to carry her more easily. 
“She is. She had fun tonight, that’s for sure.” 
“She did,” he agreed. “Ready?” 
“Yup. Lead the way.” 
They were all going to his apartment as Dana and Ivy were sleeping over in order to attend the town's new year’s parade the next morning. Being closer to the center of town, his apartment was on the parade route, so they could sleep in a little and then join the crowd as it gathered outside of his apartment building. 
Dana unlocked his door and he carried Ivy into the guest bedroom, waiting for Dana to take off her boots and then join him. She smiled as she came in and pulled the covers back, taking off Ivy’s shoes before he set her on the bed. 
He stepped out of the room and let her finish the task of putting Ivy to bed, not wanting to be in the way. Taking off his shoes and then his coat, he hung it in the closet. Leaning against the door jamb of his bedroom, he waited for Dana so he could tell her goodnight. 
She came out soon after, closing the door behind her and smiling as she approached him. 
“Barely stirred at all when I changed her clothes,” she said, crossing her arms and letting out a sigh. 
“That’s good,” he said with a smile. 
“Yeah,” she agreed, nodding her head. 
“Well,” he started to say, thinking she was probably tired and ready for bed, but she spoke over him. 
“You know, I was thinking… I’ve seen every room in your apartment, except for your bedroom.” 
“Oh?” he asked, looking through the open doorway and into his room. “It’s just this.” 
“Hmm,” she said, not looking at it, but keeping her eyes on him. “I can’t really… see it from here. Maybe you could give me a tour?” 
“Of my bedroom?” he asked with a chuckle. “Not much to it, really. Just what there is to see here.” He gestured and looked back at her with a smile. 
“But could you show me around? So I don’t miss anything?” she said, raising her eyebrows and waiting.
“Show you around…” he said, looking back into the room and then back at her. She opened her eyes wider and rubbed her lips together. “You mean… oh… oh.” She nodded and he drew in a shaky breath. 
“I uh… I… oh,” he said, his heart racing and mouth suddenly dry. “I wasn’t… I didn’t…” He shook his head and she tilted her head slightly. “I haven’t… given anyone a… a tour of my room in a long time. A very long time.” 
“Okay…” 
“Tours require… safety precautions and I… I don’t have the… necessary resources to… guarantee that safety, should you want to take that tour. I haven’t needed it and to have it here… well, if I had, I would have felt it was presumptuous and pressing my agenda over yours or setting an expectation that you may not be ready to… I…” He shook his head and let out a deep breath. “I didn’t know you’d want a tour of the bedroom tonight.”  
“I do,” she whispered. 
“Oh.” 
“Unless you don’t-”
“God! No, that’s not it at all. I just didn’t think… didn’t know…” he said, tripping over his words. 
“So if the necessary… safety precautions… were taken, I could have a tour?” 
“Oh yes, most definitely. I would… would like to give you a… a tour. Love to, in fact.” 
“Hmm,” she said, stepping closer to him and uncrossing her arms. “Well, it just so happens that I was presumptuous. I knew how I wanted this night to end.” 
“Did you?” he asked, breathing harder. 
“Oh yes,” she breathed, placing her hands on his chest. “I purchased the necessary safety items earlier today and I have them with me at this moment, in case you felt like taking me on that tour.” He stared at her, watching her smile grow and he exhaled through his nose. 
“So this is the doorway,” he said, grabbing her arm and pulling her through it. She laughed as he did and then closed the door behind them. “It has a good door.” 
“And a lock, I’m assuming… and hoping,” she said with a giggle. 
“It does. See? It locks like this, so people are safe while they are inside.” 
“Good detail,” she laughed and he nodded. 
“This is my dresser, where I keep my clothes and stuff,” he said, reaching for her and kissing her deeply, pulling her flush against him. 
“The nightstands,” he said, walking her towards the bed. “I was going to just get one, but I like the way they frame the bed.” 
“It is framed nicely,” she said, pushing his black sweater up as she held his gaze. He pulled it off and tossed it behind him, leaving him in his undershirt and dark jeans. He kissed her again, needing to taste her lips. 
“The rug,” he said, taking a second to catch his breath. “It… it uh…” 
“Really ties the room together,” she said, not looking at the rug at all, but grinning at him, her eyes shining. 
“Absolutely,” he said with a grin. 
“I like it,” she said, putting a hand out as he reached for her. “Um, I just wanted to say first… it’s been a long time for me. Over six years. And I…” She shook her head and he nodded in understanding. 
“Me too. A long time.” 
“So…” She smiled and he stepped closer as she dropped her hand. 
“I was going to paint this room a dark gray,” he said as he kissed her temple, keeping up their ruse of a room tour. “But then I thought-” He kissed down her cheek, under her jaw and to her ear, her breathing becoming quicker as she moaned softly. “Do you care about the paint color?” 
“Not at the moment,” she whispered and he laughed before kissing her and causing her to stumble into him, just like the first time they kissed. “God, you’re so good at that.” 
“Hmm,” he hummed, reaching around and searching for a zipper on the back of her dress. 
“Just lift it,” she said softly and he stepped back to stare at her. “No clasps or zippers. Just…” She lifted it and took it off in one fluid motion, tossing it near his sweater. 
“Jesus,” he breathed, licking his lips at the sight of her in leggings and a black bra. “You are so beautiful.” 
“Yeah?” 
His head snapped up and he saw the uncertainty in her eyes as she stared at him. 
“Yes,” he said, cupping her face in both of his hands. “If you’ve ever heard, or felt differently, then it was a lie because you are stunning.” He kissed her forehead. “Achingly beautiful.” Her closed eyelids. Her nose. “Perfect.” Her lips, once, twice. Soft kisses that made him ache for more. “So perfect.” 
“Thank you,” she whispered, opening her eyes to look at him, her lashes wet. 
“It’s the truth. Anything else, at any time, was a lie,” he said again and she nodded, her hands going to his waist. 
“I love you,” she said and he smiled as he moved his hands from her face to her shoulders and then her arms, meeting her hands at his waist. 
“I love you too.” 
__________
It was the way she breathed that he found so arousing. Fast paced breaths and then quick gasps, slow intake and equally slow release, and then the moment she stopped breathing entirely as she gripped his arms tightly, her body going rigid before she began to shake, drawing in whimpering breaths. 
“Fox,” she whispered. “Oh, Fox.” Humming, she kept him from moving, her legs around his waist, still shaking slightly. “I’ve never… not like that, never that quickly and easily. Not ever.” 
He kissed her throat, nipping gently at her pulse point and causing her to gasp once again. He smiled against her skin, her gasps of pleasure immediately becoming his new favorite sound. 
__________
He pressed his nose into her shoulder, breathing in the scent of her skin. She hummed in her sleep and he smiled, kissing her shoulder before pulling her close and exhaling against her hair. 
God, she’s so soft, he thought, his fingers skimming the skin beneath her navel, where he had planted kisses against a pale brown birthmark, something she told him she had always been subconscious about. 
“I’ve hated it all my life,” she had said when he had fixated on it, trying to deter him, but he had ignored her, touching it with the tips of his fingers. “I’m always aware of it being there. It stopped me from wearing a two piece to my first boy/girl pool party when I was thirteen, because Hallie Owens made fun of it a few days before when we were changing in the locker room.” 
“Hallie Owens,” he had murmured against her skin, kissing the birthmark again. “I’ll have to enlist your sister's help in tracking her down. I’d like to have a word with her.” She had laughed softly, running her fingers through his hair. “I’m serious. I’ll do it.” 
“Hallie lives in Montana, on a ranch, with her husband and two boys. She actually reached out to me a couple of years ago and apologized for how she behaved towards me when we were younger. She had a rough life and she was acting out back then.” 
“Doesn’t erase how you felt and how it affected you,” he had said, looking up at her, his gaze landing on her naked chest instead, watching it rise and fall as she breathed. 
“No, it doesn’t,” she had agreed, and he met her eyes, finding she had been smiling at him and he smiled back. 
“I think it’s beautiful. Looks almost like a…” He had looked back at it and tilted his head to the side. “Hmm… like a seahorse?” 
“A seahorse?” she had asked with a disbelieving chuckle. “I don’t know about that.” 
“No. It’s there. If you look from this angle, and…” He had run his finger gently around the edge of the birthmark, following the pattern it took, causing her to gasp and her stomach to clench. “Definitely resembles a seahorse.” 
“I’ve never seen it that way before.” 
“Hmm,” he had hummed, kissing it again as she let out a breath. “It suits you.” 
“My birthmark? A spot on my body that I’ve never liked?” 
“That it resembles a seahorse,” he had said, kissing it once more before moving to kiss her lips and settle himself between her legs. “They symbolize patience, strength, and persistence. They’re small, but tough. They don’t give up, but remain steadfast and determined. I’d say the shape of your birthmark definitely suits you. As if it was placed there as a reminder of who you are.” 
“Goddamn,” she had murmured, pulling him closer and kissing him hungrily. “I’ve hated that all my life and now it feels like battle armor. How did you do that?” 
“Hmm,” he had said, running his hand down her side to stroke the birthmark with his thumb. “I’m very good.” 
“Yes,” she had said, looping her arms around his neck and smiling slowly. “Yes, you are. Show me again.” 
Her gasps and moans had then filled the room, his name falling repeatedly from her lips. 
______________
He woke as he heard muffled laughter coming from somewhere in the apartment. Sitting up, he blinked and then smiled, remembering last night and then Dana’s kiss goodbye when she had left his bed to be with Ivy before she woke up.  
He got up and went to the bathroom to take a quick shower and get dressed for the day. As he went about his tasks, he could not stop smiling as he thought about Dana. 
Opening the bedroom door, he smelled coffee and pancakes and his stomach rumbled. He grinned at the sight of Ivy sitting on a barstool in her pajamas, her hair wild and messy, as she ate a pancake. 
“Good morning,” he said and she turned to look at him with a grin. 
“Hi, Fox! We’re going to the parade today!” she said and he nodded, stopping to give her a side hug, mindful of her food and the puddle of syrup on her plate. 
“We are, indeed,” he said, looking at Dana who stood in the kitchen, dressed for the day in an emerald green sweater and black jeans. Her hair was damp and she was not wearing any makeup, and he thought she looked absolutely breathtaking. “Good morning.” 
“It is,” she said with a smile. “A very good morning.” 
“Agree completely,” he said, grinning as he kissed the top of Ivy’s head. “Could I get one of those pancakes?” 
“If you come around here and pay the toll.” 
“Oh, what toll is that?” he asked, rubbing Ivy’s back as he stepped away from her and walked into the kitchen. Dana waited until he was directly in front of her before putting her arms around his neck. 
“Three kisses.” 
“Only three?” 
“Hmm,” she hummed with a nod as he pulled her close to him. “Or whatever you feel is fair.” 
“We’d miss the entire parade if it was left up to me.” 
“No! I want to see the parade!” Ivy called out and he chuckled as he looked at her. 
“So what do you say then, Ivy? Is three kisses enough? Or should I make it five?” 
“Five!” she shouted with a giggle. “Kiss her five times.” 
“Five sounds good to me,” he said, and pressed his lips to Dana’s, kissing her softly. 
“One!” Ivy shouted and he smiled, kissing Dana again. “Two! Three more to get to five.” 
Loud music suddenly played outside and they all looked toward the balcony, Ivy clambering down from the stool to see if she could see out the window. 
“The parade must be starting soon,” Fox said, swaying them slowly. “Better finish my kisses so I can eat my breakfast.” 
“Yes, you better,” Dana said and he kissed her again, her tongue touching his gently and causing him to pitch forward. “Oh look at that, I can make your knees weak too.” 
He looked at her and she grinned, scratching her nails along his neck, his mind conjuring images of the night before, when she had done the same thing as he had used his mouth to bring her over the edge again. 
“Hmm. Maybe… maybe three kisses is enough for now,” he said, nuzzling her nose with his own. 
“The agreement was five,” she said, pecking him twice on the cheek and he laughed softly, as he pulled her in for a hug. 
“I love you. So very much.” 
“And I love you. Come on, we have a parade to get to.” She smacked him playfully on the ass and he laughed again. 
They ate and she hurried to help Ivy dress and then dry her hair and put on her makeup. He and Ivy donned their outerwear and he assisted her with her coat zipper when it got stuck, biting back a swear as he fumbled with it. 
Laughing as they left the building, they joined the crowd of people gathered for the parade. Finding a spot, he lifted Ivy onto his shoulders as she cheered and waved to the people walking in the marching band that started the parade. 
Squeezing Ivy’s leg, he then reached for Dana’s hand. She interlocked their gloved fingers together and he smiled, tugging her closer. 
“Should I tell you my resolution now?” he asked, leaning slightly to say it near her ear. 
“Yes, please,” she replied. 
“To love you forever,” he said, looking at her and smiling. “Both of you.” 
She smiled as she reached up to touch his cheek, kissing him softly. 
“Thank you,” she said, just loud enough for him to hear. 
“And what was yours?” he asked. 
“Oh… not nearly as poignant or thoughtful as yours,” she said with a chuckle. 
“Hmm, this should be good then,” he said, bumping her shoulder gently. 
“To get in your pants.” 
He pulled back and looked at her in surprise as she grinned and shrugged. 
“Well,” he said, letting go of her hand and putting his arm around her shoulders. “Well… in one day your resolution has been reached. Not everyone is as successful. You started the year off quite well, little seahorse.”  
“With a bang some might say,” she said with another chuckle, wrapping her arm around his waist as he laughed heartily and nodded his head. 
“Indeed,” he said, smiling as he held her close, the drums from the marching band reverberating in his chest. “Indeed.” 
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morningmask27 · 2 months
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I do sometimes find it really annoying that most of the things I do right now are At Least tangentially related to a trauma I lived through.
I am living in a university dorm right now, it's a very typical thing to do, but most people return to their family home during the weekends and only really stay in the dorms because they have classes in the week and having to go from their home to the classes, especially the 9 am classes, can be heavy if they live somewhat further away. I stay in my dorm the entire week. For Reasons I don't want to go back to my old home for longer than half a day to drop my laundry and leave with clean clothes, some food and a chat with my mother. I wouldn't feel good doing so anymore, but mentioning that is weird because most people (except internationals because going to a full on other country just for the weekend, every weekend, would be a bit dumb) return to their home (My dorm feels more like home to me right now than my old house did btw).
When I say I stay in my dorm people are somewhat confused, as it on its own already implies that something must not be that good at the familial home for me to not go there for the weekends. By the simple fact I don't go back it's already implied there is something wrong, and it's true, there Is something wrong, but I can't just start explaining the whole thing, it's not really appropriate for most conversations, and I simply don't want to open up about this part of my traumas. So I just have to quickly and very blatantly brush off that fact and the unpleasant implications to continue the conversation without making it awkward and it's so annoying.
Most of my weird trauma responses at least have the added thing that if I don't verbalize them nobody will really notice. I am good at hiding them, I kinda had to, but this dorm situation is such a blatant sign of something Weird (and not the good kind) that I cannot hide since my actions on their own imply a situation already.
I am somewhat good at dealing with all of these issues, brushing off The Problems is a typical part of normal conversations, but it does get frustrating sometimes when I get severely affected by something traumatic, and it's The Only reason that my problem happened, but I cannot talk about it in casual conversations because of how heavy and intense it is. I have to vaguely mention The Horrors (They Are Complex) and move on before I make my conversation partner uncomfortable. It happened when I had to miss a class because of a severe relapse in my mental health, it happens every time I mention I stay in my dorm the weekends, it happens whenever I get too jittery and weird because of stress (I don't even always know Why I am stressed) and I just cannot explain anything about the cause because it's too heavy for most people to hear. (I do understand that fact, it makes sense you're not going to tell classmates casually about the horrific stuff you went through in your personal life, but it fucking gets annoying when it is fully related to a situation and I have to Shut The Fuck Up anyway.)
It's just frustrating to me that I have to deal with all these Weird Things because of trauma, and everyone sees them, but I cannot explain where they come from truthfully because of how much they are. It's in this weird middle state where people See I am weird hurt, but they don't Know why. I do things differently for reasons they can assume are unpleasant, but I cannot ever truly explain everything to them.
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starbuck · 2 months
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i feel like i am going to disintegrate and explode but, in good news, i may have discovered a rare tree!
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alildritten · 7 months
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Ah yes, the scariest story of all:
G A Y
(/j)
#alright time for context in the tags!! your favorite show!!! yippee!#yeah so anyway basically i was thinking up fictional scenarios with my ocs (of course as always)#and i was thinking about hey! so what about this werewolf character. yknow? silver? what if we thought about when they were a little kid#and stuff. you know? why not and all and so i was having fun with that thinking about how theyd have had to keep their werewolf-ness#a secret. but their parents know and are trying to keep it a secret as well and what-not#and one day silver gets invited to a sleepover. yknow. at night. theyre a werewolf??? that wouldnt go well#other than the fact that they can control that wolf form?? (i need to figure out what to call it)#so itd be fine but its supposed to be a secret because if people knew silver would be reported to the authorites because in that universe#humans do exist they just kicked any weird hybrid or beast or whatever off onto another planet#jokes on them the little beasties are doing fine and after a bit of adjusting and working on fitting into the new world#that theywere forced onto with no way back#they have a whole civilization and are doing great!!! but everytime that the humans on their world realize someones like. a werewolf or#a vampire or anything. WELP BYE-BYE HAVE A NICE TRIP#and well theres a new orphan in town on the other world! well heck hopefully they live alright and maybe get adopted?#BUT ANYWAY OFF TRACK WHOOPS so basically silvers parents are like ‘no. you cant’ but silver’s friends had asked several times in the past#and really wanted to have a sleepover with silver. idk and so basically silver writes a note saying ‘hey i did go sorry bout that-#dont worry i got it covered i can keep my wolf formt hing hidden no worries’ or something basically says that and goes to the sleepover#(friends think silver finally got permission) and wow i just realized this is a long story heck lemme try and shorten a little#and eventually at one point they all wanna tell scary stories cause why not#and once i got there my brain kinda kept pausing and then swoosh new train thought woahh!!#and started thinking about a cute scenario about two ocs of mine who are VERY GAY hehe <3#but i thought it was a bit funny because i realized that i was about to have some lil kids tell each other scary stories and then woop brain#go hey think about this cute gay scenario!! so ah yes. cute gay scenario=SCARY (/j)#does this even make any sense at all i genuinely dont know but i had fun talking about ocs so yea ima sleep now#have a good day/night to you!!! <333 YIPPEE anyway bye bye goodnight bla bla bla woohoo
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angelsdean · 5 months
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plagued with too many fic ideas i'll never write (bc it takes me like 2.5 yrs to write a long fic RIP)
#thinking abt another one. well it isn't a new one. but i'm thinking abt it again and MORE.#actual wips that are in-progress: hey nineteen sequel (postcanon cas time-traveling to various points in dean's life to offer comfort)#and thee divorce arc stanford era time-travel au#fic ideas that are fully outlined: faith dean / gas n sip steve AU#fics ideas bouncing around my head like ping pong balls:#shapeshifter dean AU#black hole angel theory#sequel-prequel to thee divorce arc stanford era time-travel AU#destiel huntercorp AU#video store AU#single dads AU#many more hey nineteen-verse sequels of different times post-canon cas time-travels to#AU i don't know how to describe succinctly for a tumblr tag but basically deancas are both lonely in the woods and fall in love#^ an alternate version of that AU where only dean is lonely in the woods and cas is a lonely scientist in Antarctica and they're pen pals#rock band AU (team free will broke up and now cas is a sad solo artist)#enemies to lovers band AU where dean is a rock star and cas is an undercover journalist sent in to hashtag expose him but they fall in love#AU were canonverse cas rescues another universe's dean from hell bc not all of chucks worlds had a cas in them to rescue him#didn't know they were dating canonverse post empty-rescue AU (aka destiel have a weekly 'date night' but no they don't whaddya mean??)#some form of a fake dating AU#also some form of a two person love triangle AU#both are two of my favorite tropes#anyways there's def more i'm forgetting rn but. i would love to just automatically transfer the movies playing in my head onto the page
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neverendingford · 9 months
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#tag talk#storytime sexcapades#sadness is canceled. met a really cute cool dude visiting town for work and stayed up all night talking and uhhh. other things.#I really am so ready to move. I wanna be in a college town with community music groups and a larger visible queer population ugh.#anyway. the more I experiment the more I realize I'm actually definitely trans and I would like certain bits lopped off 😕#I will literally never shut up about the connection between sex and gender. I'm sure there's some shortsightedness to it#because I'm speaking largely from my own experience with it. so obviously there's an implicit perspective bias there#but like. turns out when you're dissociated from your body it can be hard to enjoy certain body activities.#I'm mostly over showers now. it's way easier to see myself the way I want to be. still things I want fixed. but things are livable.#but yeh. sex is difficult when you're at war with your skin.#also. why do people do poppers. your head spin for a minute and you smell organic solvent for a while. my head spins all the time#like. “it's just like sniffing glue” bro why do people sniff glue I don't get that either“.#“it's like being drunk for a short time” I don't get why people do that either.#throwback to that time someone said I needed to not become an alcoholic and I just pointed to my four month old vodka bottle in the fridge.#idk. there's a use for it. alcohol is a CNS depressant and I love it for that. but only sometimes is that necessary.#anyway. I'm curious to try other substances but I fully expect to walk away going “eh. I don't get what the deal is with that”.#but we keep doing new things. for science. to learn about the world. and to become a more understanding person. understanding is everything#anyway. cool people do exist. I literally said that thing about not meeting people I like and the universe decided to be a joker about it#did I already say that we stayed up all night? sitting on the trunk of you car watching the stars on a warm desert night is a good vibe.#I like getting out of the city and finding a patch of desert to park in and just bathe in the night air. and it's better with company#the end. bye. I have an age of empires game to finish cause I paused it to go meet up with him. and now I have to finish it#ALSO. yeah I know.. vodka in the fridge. I've started putting it in the freezer just cause there's not as much room in the fridge
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waugh-bao · 11 months
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*
#the last two weeks have been mental#I passed in my last paper for this term on the 24th#which means I’m officially done with the first year of my PhD#and I got news yesterday that I got a high pass on my French translation exam#so I only have to take one more test (could be in Russian or Portuguese or Hebrew or Arabic. my choice based on what I already have) to#finish my language requirements#[which is one of those things that doesn’t seem like a big deal but you can’t go to prospectus defense without it done]#and to multiply the crazy#the Friday before last#I got news that a proposal is submitted to a call for chapters (which I 100% thought I would be turned down on) was accepted#so I’m going to have a whole 40-50 page research project brought out as a chapter in a book by a major U.S. university press#never mind that I’m leaving in 2 weeks#to travel around Europe and Asia for the next 3 months doing research work and visiting friends#I was at such a low point at the start of this term 2 or 3 months ago#burned out and not feeling good about my work and just generally having a time of it with everything#but it feels like everything has turned around so drastically in such a short amount of time#and pushing myself through the bad/hard parts was worth it to come out the other end#anyway I’m rambling#but it’s been amazing to get things to look forward to and move towards making real accomplishments#especially after not sleeping more than 5 hours a night for like 9 months#not the stones#me stuff
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