#nicole should be a trigger warning

[v1olentdelights]

Summertime Sadness

JJ Maybank x female!Fisher!reader

JJ is 17 - Conrad is 18 - Jere is 17 - reader is 16

Trigger warnings: there is mention of giving up your v-card and also allusions to sex! and a few curse word!

Summary: The harsh reality of summer love

a/n: the ending is a bit wonky because I literally couldn't think of how to end it, so it kind of repeats the beginning? Anyways I hope you like it, this has been on my mind for a while. Also this piece is a big game of pretend

Conrad had found you laying in your room, the window shades opened allowing you to see the dying leaves. You had on one of his Brown sweatshirts and your hair was a mess. Nudging the door open he made his way over to set down a mug of what you assumed to be hot chocolate on your bedside table. 

“Hey kiddo,” his voice was extremely gentle, he had been here before. Hesitantly he laid a hand on your arm. You slowly moved your head to look at him, but the second you saw the hurt and sympathy, you caved. Tears started to well up in your eyes again, you threw yourself up in a sitting position and grabbed hold of him. Conrad pulled you closer, hoping that he could convey everything he couldn’t say. 

Your other brother was out enjoying his few final months before college began for him. It wasn’t that he didn’t know what had happened. Though since it hadn’t affected him directly, he didn’t feel the need to intervene; he had his fair share of break ups and knew that release came with time. Jeremiah had shown his love in other ways. He had gotten you flowers every two weeks with a simple ‘I love you’ note. 

But Conrad? He had been with you every step of the way as much as he could be. 

—

It was the summer kick off party when you met. JJ had offered you weed and you accepted, and that was the beginning. JJ was your first boyfriend, and even though Nicole had warned you about him and his reputation, you ignored it. He made you feel special and wanted, he always listened to what you had to say, invited you to hang out with his friends, accompanied you to parties, everything a boyfriend should do. 

“This is JJ, my boyfriend! Play nice.” you laughed nervously. The room was silent for a moment as everyone took him in. 

Your mother begged you to bring him to dinner with everyone. You reluctantly agreed, not wanting to put him through what was sure to be an interrogation in disguise. And you were right, though it was mostly from the boys.

– 

Everyone had stood up at the sound of the door creaking a bit. You walked in laughing with JJ holding your hand and following you in. 

But just like that your mom clapped her hands together and walked over to you both. JJ had stuck his hand out to shake her hand, but Susannah had slipped right past that, taking his face in her hands. Your face flushed at her abrupt action. 

“Let me have a look at you,” her smile was bright as she looked at him, she then pulled him in for a tight hug. 

“Welcome to our home, JJ.” The giant wave of relief rushed throughout the kitchen. 

“Thank you ma’am, these are for you by the way.” He did his awkward but cute smile as he held out a beautiful bouquet of hydrangeas. She smiled gratefully before ordering the boys to go set the table as you girls finished dinner and got to know JJ a bit better. 

The night was full of questions thrown around by your brothers and Steven. You held onto JJ’s hand throughout the dinner, squeezing it whenever a rather personal question came about. Even as you made your glaring rather apparent, Conrad specifically never backed down. 

“So what do you plan to do? After school?” Conrad asked. JJ looked at you and smiled for a moment before looking at your brother. 

“I actually want to travel. To surf and just experience life.” He seemed rather proud of his answer. Conrad on the other hand seemed highly displeased. 

“How are you gonna support yourself?” There was something about his tone that made you want to yell at him, but that would make a scene. So you kicked his shin as hard as you could since you were across from him. The table shook while his leg jerked from the pain. 

“No, no, you’re right. I’m not sure yet, but I am going to find work along the way while I travel. Then we’ll see where life takes me.” It was hard to miss the scoff he let out. But Laurel changed the topic by asking Jeremiah about his upcoming senior year and his plans. 

By the end of dinner your mother had packed up 2 containers for JJ to take home with him and kissed his cheek goodbye. As you walked him out to the car John B. had let him borrow for the evening you couldn’t help but feel like you were being watched. Looking back you could see Conrad and Steven watching from the window, but chose to ignore them as best you could. 

“Thank you for coming to dinner, I’m sorry it was more like an interrogation.” But he was already shaking his head and grabbed onto your waist and pulled you in close. 

“I loved meeting your family, even if your brothers were like big guard dogs.” His nose was touching yours. With one little movement he pressed his lips against yours, and it was like in the movies, you pulled back a little bit and he followed. 

“I don’t really like him.” Steven said freely. You assumed either Laurel or Belly had shoved him by the disturbed noise he let out. “I’m just saying she could do way better. He seems like the type of dude to say he’s going to travel the world and then just become some kind of cashier.” 

“I’ll see you tomorrow for surf practice, short-stack.” he said, pressing another gentle kiss to your lips. And you watched him pull out of the driveway with your fingers pressed against your lips, trying to hold onto the feeling of his lips. 

—

You could tell Conrad, Jeremiah, and Steven had a bad feeling about him, they all made sure to let you know their real feelings. Leaning against the door you allowed yourself to take in the night before facing everyone. As you made your way into the kitchen to have another portion of dessert you heard the chattering. 

“She can like whoever she wants, Steven. Remember when you thought you were going to marry Hermione Granger?” Belly’s somewhat supportive comment made you feel better. Her, your mom, and Laurel were supportive though. You knew deep down that Laurel didn’t approve by the lack of enthusiasm, but you chose to ignore it. 

“I don’t want her dating him, something is just off.” Now that one hurt. You oldest brother, the one who supported you no matter what, the one who would hold you every time you’d cry over a bad grade, Conrad. 

You made your presence known with a fake cough. Grabbing a plate with dessert you looked at everyone with a polite smile. 

For about 2 week things were going perfectly. You had gotten to know Sarah and Kiara a bit more and had even had a few sleepovers at Sarah’s house. Though those were mostly consisted of movies and popcorn while sharing stories about your day or small pieces of your relationship. 

“Thank you for being civil. I’m going to go lay down now, I think.” Belly’s face fell, you had originally planned to go to the movies with her. “Sorry Bells, I am just feeling… tired.” She nodded her head in understanding, but you could tell blowing her off had hurt more than she was letting on. 

—

JJ was your first everything, first kiss, first romantic hand holding, first date, and he was the first person you got high with. But you wanted to solidify your relationship with him. You had decided you wanted to give him your all on some random summer day. He was respectful and loving, it wasn’t serious but it wasn’t too goofy. It was the perfect mix that made you feel even closer. 

You tried not to share too much about your relationship because you could see it rubbed Kiara the wrong way. Having come so far, you didn’t want such a trivial thing to come in the way of the blooming friendship.

But it all changed about 2/3 of the way through the summer. He had begun to spend less time with you, and when he did he was a million miles away mentally. He was constantly high, and was covering up in the heat. Not wanting to push too much you let it go. Your summer days were spent at the fair with Belly or sometimes Sarah. But even she stopped hanging out with you as much. 

You had finally been fed up with all this. You invited JJ to walk with you down the beach to the little food shack in hopes of having a conversation. The dress you decided to wear was flowy and light, it was perfect for the hot summer day, and it fit you in all the right places. John B. had told you a hundred times over that you could walk right in to his home without knocking as long as you made your presence known. So that’s what you did, it was fairly quiet but you heard a faint creaking noise. 

Thinking that it was only one of the shutters of the many windows they all forgot to shut, you made your way right to JJ’s room. Reaching out for the handle you realized that the creaking was coming from in there. Your heart fell right out of you because you knew exactly what was happening. But should you just play the naive and innocent little girlfriend so you could stay with him? You recalled what Conrad had said a few weeks back about something being off with JJ.

So you opened the door, only to find Kiara and him tangled up in sheets together. You gasped a little bit, but it was obviously enough for them to hear because JJ whipped his head around to look at you. 

“Shit.” You turned to leave, even as you heard him fall out of bed and coming after you. “Wait! Stop, just for a minute. STOP!” turning back to him you saw the reddened eyes that looked back to you. 

“Con, is that your sister?” he called out to the older boy, causing him to look up. “Shit, I think she’s crying…” that kicked him into gear, tossing his things on the ground he made his way to you. 

“No, I give you my all only for you to go screw another girl not even TWO WEEKS LATER?! I am done with this shit JJ. Stay away from me. I don’t want you to call me, text me, or come anywhere near my house.” As you burst out the front door you half expected him to follow you out. But you saw Sarah, Pope, and John B. all looking at you with pitying expressions. Of course they all knew. 

—

Conrad and Steven had just finished a few good hours of surfing, though it had barely felt like anything. As they were walking up to where they had left their towels Steven had seen you walking staggering towards them. 

Steven was right, you were crying. The closer Conrad got the more he worried.  Your mascara made marks under your eyes, your dress looked crumpled, and your nose was red – a telltale sign you had been crying and sniffling for a bit – but what worried him most was the way you fell into him. 

“Kid, what’s wrong?” Steven had made his way next to Conrad now. 

“He che-” a gasp breaks the sentence. “He cheated.” the grip around your shoulders had tightened at that. Steven and Conrad looked at each other with shared livid expressions. As your brother rubbed your back gently Steven rushed to grab both the boy’s things before making his way back to the house with both of you. 

— — — —

Laurel and Susannah had pulled you into Susannah's giant bed, tucking you in tightly between the both of them while they smothered you with love. At that point though, you simply felt exhausted. Within 30 minutes you had fallen asleep with your head on Laurel's shoulder while your mother scratched your back softly. And even though you had the worst day of your life, you never felt more loved.

The last few fleeting weeks of summer consisted of you laying in bed watching movies, laying in the sun on the porch while Susannah and Laurel played card games, or lazily swimming in the pool with Belly when she stayed behind with you. 

— — — 

You thought getting over a boy who cheated on you would be easy, right? It was anything but. On the car ride back home you laid your head against the window while listening to music rather than yapping about every little thing you did that summer and all the plans you made for next, like you usually did. Things didn’t get better for a while. Your mom tired to encourage you and reassure you that things would be okay in the end, she made your favorite foods but you wouldn’t eat. 

Here you were 3 months later laying in bed wishing for the world to swallow you whole, and that is where you would stay.

#grace writes #the summer i turned pretty #tsitp #the summer i turned pretty x reader #tsitp x reader #obx x reader #outer banks x reader #tsitp fanfic #obx fanfic #conrad fisher x reader #jeremiah fisher x reader #jj maybank x reader #hurt no comfort #a tiny bit of comfort #obx x you #tsitp x you #summer fanfics #x reader #conrad fisher x sister!reader #x sister reader #x female reader

[mar3ggiata]

professional help, c7 preview.

simon riley x original character.

abstract: Simon. I don't fucking know what to say about this chapter, I was moving in autopilot. and I'm just being a decent fucking human being, what do you expect me to say really? just start reading already...

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs, EDs and death.

song to listen to when reading this: Dark red, Steve Lacy.

Simon, on her right, was frowning with his eyebrows slightly peering through his mask. She started imagining if she just left right now. Took her dog, got to the airport and moved to Spain. The Maldives, maybe. She started a new life as a new person once at 18, she could do it again now seven years later. Or maybe she just needed to go home, smoke every little bit of weed she had left, curl up in bed and die. She started laughing. 

'Jude', he called and finally she looked at him. 'What!?' She raised her voice. She was mad again. Like the first time he saw her, fists curled with rage, on the verge of tears. He tried to keep his voice as gentle as he could. 'It's alright, everything's going to be fine', he tried to talk to her like he would do in an hostage rescue situation. 'I'll get you home. I know how to do my job', he reassured.

'Can I check the other rooms?' he asked. To be respectful, you know. She nodded and he made his way to her bedroom. The door was closed. He glanced around the room, he checked the toilet as well. The bed wasn't made. She had light blue bedding. The room smelled like her, like lavender. She had a stuffed animal on the bed, a sheep. She had fuzzy slippers, probably a size 5. On the wall, more posters. He noticed a painting of a scary dog's fangs. Books on the nightstand, books on the wooden window sill. He saw a bra hanging from a chair and that was his cue to leave. In the toilet, one single toothbrush. So… no boyfriend? 'All clear'. She was standing beside the door, her dog at her feet was licking her hand while she petted him lazily. 'Thanks.' She offered him a smile, a tiny one.

'What happened last year?' He saw her expression darken, her shoulders tense. Who do you think you are to ask like that? She straightened her back and let go of the dog. He remained at her feet, wanting attention. 'You should learn to mind your business.' she made her way to the kitchen. She passed by him and didn't make eye contact.

notes: chapter seven soon!!

chepter six is here!

taglist:

@ummmmmwat @ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess

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#cod mw2 #ghost cod #simon ghost riley #cod x reader #ghost fanfiction #call of duty #simon ghost x reader #cod fic #cod modern warfare #cod 141 #task force 141 #tf 141 #mw2 141 #cod #johnny soap mactavish #john soap mactavish #ghost headcanons #simon riley fluff #simon riley #simon ghost smut #simon ghost fluff #kyle gaz garrick #modern warefare ii #modern warfare

[goldeneyedgirl]

AILess Whumptober Day 5: Held at Gunpoint

silence. (day 5: held at gunpoint).

twilight, alice/jasper, pg, post-twilight. canon-verse. trigger warnings: school shooting, mention of suicide.

This prompt was so cursed, I can't even. I just had such a hard time with it, but we persevere. It definitely ended up way longer than I wanted and like... it's done. It's fantastically wonky, but hopefully it works.

Day 6 will be politely skipped over for now, and we resume tomorrow with Day 7.

There are many, many things that Alice Cullen has never done. She’s never eaten ice cream, she’s never fallen asleep, she’s never accidentally cut herself. She can’t, but that’s beside the point - on the list of things and experiences she’s had in her life time, they remain absent.

There are million little things she never got to do. It’s not something she thinks about much; she’s seen and done and had so many other beautiful, wonderful, fantastic experiences that what she has missed out on don’t seem to matter that much. How many people get to dance barefoot under the Northern Lights? How many people get to go on long, lazy tours of entire continents without a single responsibility in the world? Not to have to worry about where their next meal is coming from? Or know that they can always study a different degree next go-round?

When she does get to mentally cross off a new experience, it’s usually with joy. The list gets shorter the older she gets, so new things are almost always wonderful.

But this time… well, she’s sorry that this will be an experience that she gets to cross off her list. More for her classmates than herself.

But then, maybe it’s becoming the quintessential American high school experience and this moment was inevitable.

(The silence is chilling.)

Study hall in the library is the one class she doesn’t have with Edward, Bella, or Jasper. She thought about changing it, but they all decided that having one of them not in class could be potentially useful to them - not to mention that it’s fine and healthy for Jasper to have classes without her. Esme’s always lovingly exasperated when the school sends messages home that they’re bordering on unhealthily codependent and maybe someone should look into that. This was a positive step towards looking more normal.

So she had kept study hall after lunch and now she’s sitting next to Nicole Casey who is trying not to cry, second-guessing her choices. Samantha Wells is two seats down and shaking perceptibly and every single one of them are staring very hard at their books.

She’s so very, very glad Bella had Bio with Edward after lunch.

(She can feel the ghost of her heart pounding in her ears as she tries to find a way out. But her gift won’t settle, as the future fluctuates.)

Forks is small enough that it’s hard not to know something about everyone, especially classmates - Beth’s mother has made several inappropriate passes at Emmett, Lee Stephen’s little sister has just gone into remission from leukemia, Jennifer Ford can’t manage to keep a part-time job longer than a month. Just useless nonsense that she habitually picks up for no reason.

Which is why when Kirk stormed into the library, the hair stood up on the back of her neck. He was always one of the quiet ones, slipping through the crowds without notice, coming into study hall with his head down and taking the first seat at the left-hand desk. He listened to angry music the whole time, and ignored everyone else. He was the occasional punchline to a joke, but mostly he was just another face in the junior class. Except…

Kirk’s father had been one of the workers laid off recently, when another lumber company closed up shop. A lot of families had been struggling lately, another closure had made things worse for the town, and there was only so much that could be done - Esme made sure the local food pantry was overflowing (anonymously, of course), the Cullens made regular donations of clothing to the church and the local thrift store, and Carlisle was volunteering for as many shifts in the walk-in clinic that he could get away with.

Work would come, she had seen that. By the end of summer, things would pick up again. But it wasn’t like they could tell people that, or that it made time speed up. They just had to wait.

And worry and stress created anger, and anger could come out in so many ways - like the men that lined up outside the liquor store and the one bar on the end of the town limits. The yelling and frustration towards everyone still surviving and thriving - they’d started driving Emmett’s Jeep to school, much to Rosalie’s displeasure. And the bruises that littered Kirk’s face, the way the kid hid inside his hoodie and glared at anyone that walked past. Jasper had visibly recoiled from the boy when he got too close, the distaste he had visible on his face from whatever emotions Kirk was emitting.

Oh, Jasper. She wishes he was here, so she could hold his hand. But she’s glad he’s not because she can practically feel the tension and fear and rage in this room right now; if he were here, he’d be suffering.

(Rob Sawyer is starting to wheeze, and Mrs Garcia is visibly crying. This is going to get worse before it gets better.)

“…think you’re better than me!” Kirk rants, pacing, the gun shiny and obscene in one hand. There’s a bullet hole in the check-out desk - a warning shot. “How many times, Sawyer? Huh? Since middle school?” Suddenly the gun is pressed to Rob Sawyer’s temple, and the boy squeezes his eyes shut, his lungs straining for oxygen. He is as white as a ghost, his skin waxy white, and it’s a long way from the boy that offered her a flower on Valentine’s Day last year because ‘Hale needed to know there was competition’ with a wink and a grin.

She’s waiting for the shot, waiting for the sound of the body hitting the ground.

Just as suddenly as he jammed the gun against Rob, Kirk moves on. He’d just walked into the library like a thunderstorm, reached into his backpack and pulled out the gun - a handgun, most likely used by his parents to ‘protect their home’. She hadn’t even seen it coming, because he hadn’t made the choice to take it out, to do this, right up until that exact moment.

She didn’t even know how long he’d been carrying it around. She’d never seen anything. She can’t even see how this is going to end. Everything is in flux.

Kirk’s walking round their seats now, reciting their sins and pressing the gun against their skin. Sara turned him down in middle school, Cole beat him up last year for some reason that isn’t mentioned. A laundry list of crimes that he hisses and yells and sneers back at them, grotesquely empowered to stand his ground now. She keeps her gaze fixed on the table. She can feel the metal of her seat bending where her hand is gripping it, and she has to take a breath and calm herself.

(The very, very worst thing that could happen is that Kirk does shoot one of them. Free-flowing blood… she’s intensely aware that in this moment, that will break her.)

He’s around at her table now, and she’s trying to brace herself for what comes next. She’s never had a gun pointed at her before - except for Emmett’s paintball guns; she’d been more mad that he’d point a paintball gun at her vintage Alaia, honestly. And Jasper has some vintage guns, sentimental collectibles, but even though a bullet wouldn’t do anything more than ruin her outfit, he’d rip off his own arms before he pointed a gun at his wife.

So this is new. Very new.

“Nicole Casey,” Kirk says in that sing-song voice that is unnerving. “The one who started the rumour that I pad my swimsuit because someone this ‘scrawny couldn’t have anything worthwhile going on’? Do you know what you did, Nicole? Do you know?” Everyone knows. It’s a running school joke. She’s heard from her brothers the absolute bullshit that goes on in the locker room; they’ll only intervene if it crosses over from verbal to physical, per Cullen family policy. Jasper might intervene with his gift if it’s appropriate but honestly, Jasper escapes the locker rooms like a road runner most days. Human eyes might not be able to see the scars easily, but he refuses to risk it.

The gun slides through Nicole’s hair and he leans over her shoulder. “Bang.”

And Nicole slumps in her seat, audibly sobbing.

(Everyone else is being evacuated. They can hear them; the hurried footsteps trying not to burst into a run, the tears and the desperation to be swift and as quiet as possible. There’s some yelling, people calling out for their friends and siblings, panic in their voice. It feels very far away right now.)

She feels very distant from everything that’s happening in the room right now. She wonders if Edward can hear her; the library is at the back of the school, they’ve probably evacuated everyone to the front in the hopes they can get the students off campus. She hopes Jasper is staying calm. She’s going to be fine.

The muzzle of the gun is suddenly against the back of her neck bringing her back into the moment, and it’s an odd feeling that brings up an entirely new scenario to worry about - if Kirk, who she’s never spoken with, decides to shoot her. The bullet will ricochet; if the gun is flush against her skin, it’ll backfire and… it’ll be a mess. A big one that will be hard to explain.

“Little Alice Cullen. The Cullens never give anyone the time of day. Too high and mighty to deal with us lowlifes.” The gun slides down the top of her spine. “Driving around in your sister’s car that cost more than a house. You think you’re just so much better than any one else that you had to keep it in the family rather than slum it with anyone from Forks. What’s it like, Alice? Huh? When you f-”

(It’s rather hypocritical for him to bring up their admittedly terrible cover story that she’s fucking her ‘brother’, after condemning Rob and Nicole for ruining his life over rumours and personal stuff.)

She turns her head slightly; his breath hot and damp against her face. The gun moves to jam into the space between her jaw and neck. She wishes she was alone with him right now. She’s been a Cullen for decades, she knows how to stage a suicide with the best of them.

The library doors suddenly bang open, and they all jump; including Kirk. She knows that they’re all expecting Chief Swan or one of the police, and Mrs Garcia’s face is an expression of horror when she realizes who it is.

The only person who expects him is her. The fear and anxiety that have been pouring off her would be like a beacon to him. Edward might be able to read her mind, but Jasper will always hear her when she calls - even when she doesn’t mean to.

But the very easiest way to get out of this without bloodshed is with an empath. Especially an empath who knows how to manage people. In the right head space, Jasper could sell milk to cows.

And honestly, in any bad situation, he just makes it better. Everything is going to be okay if Jasper’s there. That’s how it’s always been for her.

Except… his expression is dark. Calm, but dark. Angry. He’s so angry right now, his fists tensing at his sides. The muzzle of the gun slides back along her neck to press hard against where her neck joins her head and she hopes it doesn’t bend.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Kirk snaps, and his other hand grips the shoulder of her sweater. “If you take another goddamn step, I am going to blow her head off.”

(Someone has wet themselves. She doesn’t know who, but the smell is distinct and she’s just so intensely aware that other than the librarian, she’s surrounded by children - sixteen and seventeen years old, facing down a peer, a classmate, a friend who is threatening them with death because he’s tired of life being cruel. She just feels sorry for them, the ones that will close their eyes and not be able to forget this day, forget the barrel of the gun against their skin, and the knowledge that they might never get to say good bye to everyone they love.)

“You’re going to put the gun down.” Jasper’s voice is low. “Alice?”

“I’m okay.” Her voice quivers perfectly, she sounds like a panicked teenager trying to stay calm. Her hands are balled up in her skirt, and she’s playing the part perfectly.

“Get the fuck out, Hale,” Kirk has a slightly hysterical tone to his voice.

“Kirk, put the gun down.” Jasper’s having trouble with picking the correct flavour of calm right now, she can tell - the room is full of terror and rage. Their secret could be exposed. He’s pissed off that it was her class that Kirk chose for his vendetta.

“Make me,” Kirk snaps and Alice kind of wants to laugh. Emmett said that to Jasper once in the seventies over something. She can’t even remember what - a remote control car? Some gadget that they were both fascinated with. She just remembered that it ended with Jasper taking Emmett up on his challenge with the kind of swift and decisive action that guaranteed a humiliating defeat. One of those incidents that became family lore.

(Bella will like that story, she has to remember to tell her.)

Jasper’s eyes narrow in a way that sealed the deaths of thousands of newborns and humans back in the day, and Alice takes a breath to try and center herself. Having Kirk so close to her is uncomfortable - he doesn’t smell even fainting good, and honestly, other than Bella, she’s not usually touched all that much by humans; usually it’s accidental or incidental touching, not a grip. It’s very odd and she’s hyper-aware of him; she almost wishes he’d still been tormenting Nicole when Jasper walked in.

“You’ve made your point,” Jasper shrugged. “You’ve scared the shit out of everyone in this school, not just this room. No one is ever going to tell a joke about you again. Hell, they probably won’t talk about you ever again. And you did it without spilling any blood. You can walk away from this.”

That’s stretching the truth - Kirk’s going to prison after this, maybe after a stay in a psychiatric ward. A student can’t bring a firearm to school and go back home that night. That’s not how this ends. But it doesn’t have to get worse than that. There’s still light in the tunnel.

“Maybe I don’t fucking want to,” Kirk says back nastily. “Maybe I’m going to blow your sister-wife’s brains out.”

“That won’t end well for you.” Jasper moves closer. Everyone is transfixed. “Alice has never done anything to you, Kirk. Just put down the gun.”

(She can feel his finger shaking on the trigger. As much as fresh blood flowing is the very worst idea right now, having the bullet hit her flesh and explode the gun would end this quickly. She wonders if they can control themselves long enough to get out if someone starts bleeding.)

It hits her first; she’s always been especially vulnerable to his gift - maybe because she knows it so intimately, knows that it’s him, that she lets it happen. But she’s suddenly so calm and peaceful that she visibly relaxes. Everything is going to be okay.

Kirk’s breathing changes, and then the gun is falling away from her body and he is stepping backwards.

“The gun, Kirk.” Jasper’s voice isn’t kind, but it is firm, and she watches Kirk hold it out and maybe she holds her breath that he doesn’t change his mind at the last moment and fire it at Jasper.

Jasper’s hands close over it and she lets out a breath, closing her eyes for a moment, as Kirk drops to the ground and he begins to cry. There’s no pity in her for him right now; just relief for the others. Gratitude that her husband always has her back and is, at heart, a hero. She watches as he disassembles the gun with the intention of unloading it.

The bullets fall like rain onto the carpeted floor, and Jasper tosses the gun behind the check-out desk, and that’s when everyone comes back to life, scrambling faster than they can get their bodies to move. There’s yelling and tears and they all run, Kirk still sobbing on the floor.

She expects Jasper to take her hand, to pull her along with him into the hallway, to quietly get their stories straight so that she doesn’t have to go to hospital or talk to the police. Except he doesn’t.

He pulls her into the kind of hug that feels desperate and relieved. He’s wrapped around her like she might actually have gotten hurt, like he was actually worried for her, terrified of the outcome.

“We need to go,” she says, and he grunts his assent, but he doesn’t immediately move away. And when he finally does, he keeps one arm around her as they move through the school - no debrief, no instructions. Just the two of them hurrying outside to join the chaos.

(There’s a local news station there, and she’s relieved that they waited to leave the building, because no one really notices them slipping out to join the crowds; the police pushing past both of them to get inside and find Kirk.)

“We should have taken the gun,” she says as Jasper leads her away, towards where she can see their siblings sitting on the Jeep, waiting; Edward’s holding his phone to his ear, probably speaking with Esme or Carlisle. “We shouldn’t have left it with him.”

“I don’t care.” Jasper’s words are ice cold - and clairvoyant because seconds later, they all hear a gunshot ring out and when she gasps and turns to look around, he just wraps his arms around her protectively and keeps her moving towards their family.

(She sees Charlie, looking tired and angry; he makes eye contact with her and nods but doesn’t come over. She knows at some point, Charlie is going to come looking for her and Jasper - once he’s interviewed all the other students and Mrs Garcia, and finds out that they were right in the middle of this mess.)

She’s not really sure about getting home - she knows that she was bundled into the backseat with Jasper next to her; that Edward and Bella are following in Bella’s truck. She knows that Jasper has his arms around her the entire time, and that she’s never felt a tiredness like this before. Rose and Emmett keep looking at her in the backseat with these solemn expressions, like she’s going to keel over at any moment. And yeah, she did fuck up - she never should have missed that a student was carrying a gun around school, especially with Bella around. But she doesn’t want to think about that right now, and she doesn’t want anyone else to point that out either. She just leans against Jasper and lets everything wash over her, the conversation over her head indecipherable to her ears.

It all passes in a blur until she’s climbing out of the Jeep to find Esme there looking stricken, barely waiting for Alice to have both her feet on the ground before she’s pulled into a hug.

“Oh sweet girl,” Esme says, and she’s confused why everyone is behaving like she could have gotten hurt. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she says, but Esme hugs her again - a proper mom hug, the ones she reserves for really, really bad days (slips, Maria’s unscheduled visits, the death of a human family member) and it doesn’t feel like she’s really done anything to deserve it.

“I’ll call Carlisle and let him know you’re all home safe,” Esme says, pressing a kiss to Alice’s forehead.

Edward and Bella aren’t back yet, so she doesn’t protest when Jasper gently guides her upstairs to their room, and folds her into their bed, his arms tight around her. And it’s her favourite place in the world right now; the familiar scent of the bedding, the way they both curl together in their usual positions with her head on his shoulder. It makes her feel like the world has tipped the right way up again. Like maybe her mind was still in that library, and it’s only just caught up with her body.

“How are you feeling?” Jasper asks, as if he can’t feel exactly what she is. She smiles and curls closer to him.

“I’m fine. I think you’ve all forgotten that if Kirk had tried anything, he would have hurt himself,” she replies. “I was more worried he’d damage the gun. How would we have explained that?”

Jasper’s giving her a look. “What? Are you okay? I haven’t seen you that mad in a long, long time. It couldn’t be because you missed American History.” Jasper hates that class; he’s lived through the real life events and the class so many times that the course work drives him nuts.

“I found my wife held at gunpoint today; it’s been mildly stressful,” he says lazily, but she can see the strain in his eyes.

“Jas…” she says softly. “We’re bulletproof. There’s nothing he could have done to us.”

“He might not have been able to hurt you, but he had the intention to,” Jasper explains, his fingers stroking her cheek. “He wanted to hurt you, Alice, and that is… entirely unacceptable to me. I walked in there to get you - and you alone - out of that room because of his rage and his hatred towards everyone in that room. If it had just been us, I would have… well, if he hadn’t cleaned up after himself, I would have done it for him. For even looking at you while holding that gun.”

She shivers in his arms, knowing that he means what he says. It could have been a few weeks from now, with Kirk home on bail, or it could have been ten years from now, on parole and starting over. Jasper would have found him and killed him. She knows her husband, and he holds a grudge - especially when it comes to her safety and happiness.

“There is a special terror in the sight of a fire arm for a human,” Jasper continues more gently. “They end a life so absolutely… I remember the first time I had to shoot one of our animals, when I was a child. It was such a terrible moment, it’s been over a hundred years and I’ve never forgotten it. The same with the first man I killed in war. A gun is a heavy responsibility, a way of playing god, when you’re mortal. It’s looking into the eyes of death.”

“…and I can’t really grasp that,” she says finally. “Because I’ve got no memory of them as a human.”

“There was never any doubt that you would leave that room whole, I know. But there will never, ever be a time when I won’t defend you from someone that intends you harm, whether that’s some high school kid or some kind of monster. You are always going to be my priority, the thing that I protect over everything else.” Jasper pressed his lips against her cheek and she reached up to run her fingers through his hair.

She loves him, all of him - his single-minded focus, especially towards her; his determination, his practicality, and even his over-protectiveness.

And she knows that at some point, they’re going to have deal with the fact that Kirk killed himself because of their carelessness, speaking with police on record, with the entire school knowing that they were in the eye of the storm. All those little things that could expose them, that make them memorable. She’ll let herself feel sad for Rob and Nicole and everyone else who was there who can’t sleep without feeling the barrel of the gun against their skin.

But right now, she’s going to stay here safe in her husband’s arms and be grateful for the fact that no matter what, he’s always going to come running when she calls.

#ailesswhumptober2023 #ailesswhumptober prompt 5: held at gunpoint #alice cullen #jasper hale #jalice #twilight fan fiction #my fic: whumptober2023 #trigger warning: school shooting #i tried #it got complex #something a little different

[multifanlol]

Hey! So i wanted to start writing character x reader stuff so, feel free to request, (I’m so bad at this help-) I’m guessing first i should write the fandoms I’ll write for/characters i will and won’t write for etc, so yeah-

Danganronpa

All students from trigger happy havoc platonically and romantically (excluding Junko Enoshima unless your some sort of mastermind like her)

All students from goodbye despair platonically and romantically + Monomi platonically only

All students from V3 platonically and romantically excluding Tsumugi again like Junko if your some sort of villain like her

Ultra Despair Girls

Komaru Naegi (Platonically and Romantically)

Yuta Asahina (Platonically and romantically)

Warriors of hope (Mainly platonic although I’ll only do romantic with them aged up)

Monaca Towa (Although i should be putting her in the category with Junko and Tsumugi i still really wanna write her lol mainly platonic though)

Characters i won’t write for in Danganronpa

Haji Towa

Monokuma (unless it’s some sort of funny platonic oneshot or something nothing serious though)

Monocubs

South Park

Characters I’ll write for

Adults (I’m okay with writing for most of the main adults like Randy, Sharon Gerald romantically and platonically etc…)

Most of the kids (I mainly prefer platonic like the WOH although I will do romantic but would prefer aging them up would prefer writing there post covid ones more although i will write them that age more reluctantly though)

Now that i have that clear the characters in specific I’ll write for are probably

Stan Marsh

Kyle Broflovski

Eric Cartman (Reluctantly)

Kenny Mcormick

“Mysterion” (just forget that isn’t Kenny lol)

Butters Scotch

Goth Kids (only platonic for Firkle)

Randy Marsh

Sharon Marsh

Craigs gang + Tweek

Main girls (Wendy,Bebe,Heidi,Nicole….)

Most of the parents

Teen characters (Shelly Marsh, Kevin Mcormick, Scott Tenorman…..)

Characters i won’t write

Ike (would prefer doing platonic and writing romantic stuff for post covid him since he’s like 3)

Firkle except platonic stuff

Amphibia

Characters i will write for

Anne Boonchuy (platonic and romantic)

Sasha Waybright (Romantic and platonic)

Marcy Wu (Romantic and platonic)

The planters (Platonic only)

Darcy (Romantic and platonic forgetting the core controls her and focusing on Marcy lol)

Pretty much I’ll do platonic for all the other frogs and only platonic since i feel uncomfortable kinda writing non human readers

Total Drama

Characters I’ll write for

All romantic and platonic (well excluding the tennis rivals unless platonic

Characters i won’t write for

Romantic for any of the frogs

What i will write in general

Male, female and gender neutral readers all are good here!

Male reader x male character/gender neutral x female character etc

Reader acting like a character as an example gender neutral reader! Acting Like Makoto Naegi from Danganronpa to (insert character)

I can go up to four characters at the moment at best I’ll add it up when i feel more comfortable doing more then four

Fluff, wholesome stuff etc

Angst but only reluctantly because i suck at them i feel like i wouldn’t make it serious so only if you really want one but i warn you

Platonic and romantic i think yk

I write parental f/o stuff or sibling f/os etc…..

I can write ocs and self inserts but I’d need important details

Stuff like kissing, etc I feel like I’m gonna suck at it but cringe culture is dead right-

Yandere stuff if yk yk

What i won’t write

Smut or lemons (I don’t mind it but i can’t write stuff like that because it comes out SO BAD I can’t even-)

Non consenting stuff, harassment, abuse, pedophilia etc (if yk yk….)

So that’s it for now i think I’m in other fandoms but there the main ones I’ll write for now sooo…..

#character x reader #south park #danganronpa #amphibia #south park x reader #danganronpa x reader #amphibia x reader #kokichi oma x reader #nagito komeada x reader #Darcy Wu x reader #stan marsh x reader #Kyle Brovlofski x reader #Calamity trio x reader #total drama #total drama 2023 #total drama Duncan x reader #total drama Mike x reader #total drama Mike + alters x reader #total drama Courtney x reader

[ohfiendangelical]

�� MARRIED IN MOUNT AIRY  ♡   STARTERS —

the following are lyric starters taken from nicole dollanganger’s 2023 album married in mount airy. i tried my best to choose lines that have the most potential as semi-realistic dialogue, though a level of purple prose and heavy metaphor is inescapable with lyric-based starters. all tracks included save for track 10, summer song, which is an instrumental. use & adjust however you see fit. (trigger warnings in abundance: this is nicole dollanganger, after all.) 

TRACK 001   ♡   married in mount airy 

“we made love beneath the mirrored ceiling.”  “all you have to bring is your love of everything." “don’t recall what we were drinking.” “there was something very strange in the air.” “don’t recall what we were singing.” “he tasted of sherry.” “i remember swinging with my hands caught in the curls of his long hair.” 

TRACK 002   ♡   gold satin dreamer 

“i dream of the lake.” “i feel you in the wind.” “love you, baby.” “i wait for it to get dark.” “all those dreams left out in the sun, they run like syrup and clot like blood — disfigured beyond recognition.”  “even though other faces i forget, yours is carved out of stone.”  “tryin’a take you out of me is like tryin’a take smoke out of wood.”  “gold satin dreamer, gold satin heart.” 

TRACK 003   ♡   dogwood

“please don’t take him from me.” “i need him, you know i do.” “there’s no telling that man what to do.”  “you’ll have to pry him from my cold, dead grip.” “i refuse to understand.” “he just makes his own bed.” “there’s no use trying.” “you know how reckless he can be sometimes.” “he doesn’t mean it when he says he don’t care if he lives or dies.”  “i’m not letting go of him.”

TRACK 004   ♡   runnin’ free

“please don’t go.” “i can’t trust myself to be alone.” “i hear them drive off into the night.” “i’ll die out here if i stay.” “he’d love it that way.”  “the dogs in the yard keep me up with their cries in the night.” “the days are long.”

TRACK 005   ♡   bad man

“i wish he didn’t have to die.” “he was a bad man.” “i’m still crying, but i’m not sorry.” “i couldn’t give a goddamn about it.” “he had to go — and he’d say the same, you know?” “i could tell you that i don’t love him, but you know it would be a lie.” “goddamn him, he knows why.” “i’ve washed him out of my clothes.” 

TRACK 006   ♡   my darling true

“you won’t change your ways.” “it’s time for me to let you go.” “you may just be the death of me, but the truth is i’d love it so.”  “hold me ‘til i’m cold and blue.” “you play such wicked games.” “that girl’s plain dumb.” “she just loves pain.”

TRACK 007   ♡   moonlite

“got you mounted on a wall in the back of my mind.” “i just can’t forget, try as i might.” “i stay on the drink and you stay on my mind.” “you were my girl, my thing, my pet, to do anything i wanted with.”  “i wanna hold you in my hands like a porcelain decanter.” “i love you so much, i can’t stand you.” “i see right through you.” “i pray you can feel my eyes.” “the drunker he got, the truer he spoke.” “i keep a piece of you locked in my heart.”  “sometimes you’re my girl, and sometimes, bitch, you’re dead.” 

TRACK 008   ♡   sometime after midnight

“he’ll be picking me up sometime after midnight.” “i’ve spent all day thinking of what i’ll wear.” “there’s this feeling in my stomach — wondering if i should just ignore it…”  “when something bad happens, it’s usually at night.”

TRACK 009   ♡   nymphs finding the head of orpheus

“i’ll make myself sick from the water.” “all my tears and rage could fill a revolver.” “now i see.” “i used to think you must be the water i drink.” “in the dark, i wait.” “i used to dream of the day it’d just be you and me.” “you cruel, cruel man.”

TRACK 011   ♡   whispering glades

“i’m sure as in life, there will be beautiful women there in your death.” “you just have your way of charming those who catch your eye like shiny things.” “you’re a nightmare disguised as a good dream.” “when she wants a garden, you give her a rose.” “you just have your ways, what with all of those grotesque displays of love you show.” “i feel sorry for them because how could they know?” “you give nothing and think it too much.” “i’ll have a smile painted on my face.” “hollywood suits you, darling; i think you should stay.” 

TRACK 012   ♡   i’ll wait for you to call

“i’ll wait for you to call.” “if i wait my whole life, it won’t be wasted at all.” “i’m fine to love you from afar.” “if i don’t see you again, i understand it’s just how things are.”

#hello fellow depressed women! #☆ CUES . #ok to reblog (of course)

[52booksproject]

Book 40: A Black Woman's History of the United States

Since it was a mix of Black History Month and Women's History Month the book A Black Woman's History of the United States by Daina Ramey Berry and Kali Nicole Gross seemed appropriate. Forgive me for sounding like a broken record, but the content of this book was hard to hear (Yes, I know, if hearing about it is bad try living it like millions of Black women have). Except for the first Black woman they could find a record of in the US, from a petition to get papers of protection from slavery and marriage (aka slavery back then) to join an expedition to Santa Fe, Black women were almost exclusively brought as slaves to the US. Up front [TRIGGER WARNING] sexual assault and violence are a huge part of this book, so the whole thing will be sensitive subjects until the end. Sir Frances Drake's expedition raided a Spanish ship and got a hold of a Black woman they raped, made pregnant, and then dropped off on a random island also with two Black men presumably to die, but who will ever know? Definitely one of the sickest stories in American history (that has no end of them) and paints Drake in a whole new light for me.

Then in 1619, the gaping asshole masterfully played by David Ogden Stiers in Disney's Pocahontas (I think it's the same guy) bought some slaves in Virginia and that began 250 years of Black slavery in America. The book defends the few Black women that owned slaves as just trying to escape slavery for their family, which *I* can't possibly judge these women for that. The only fun part of these chapters were the escapes. We barely know anything about these women historically except for the advertisements in escaped slave classifieds which almost always include descriptions of fine clothing they took with them to pass as free women. So the women were free and had nice clothing at least. There's also a daring raid during the Civil War where Harriet Tubman (hey mr. president, still waiting on that $20 bill, btw) took a river boat and helped a bunch of slaves escape and burned plantations along the way, so that was sweet. However, post-bellum and Jim Crow were hardly better for Black women. In fact, the book has to get to the incredible Shirley Freaking Chisholm before the stories start to take a real positive turn. In the last chapter they even mention Roxanne Shante's Roxanne's Revenge and and Lauryn Hill's the Miseducation of Lauryn Hill as triumphs of Black culture, and having both I agree they are.

SHOULD YOU READ THIS BOOK: Assuming you can handle reading the horrible things that happened, then, yes. Not many books are a broad sampling of primary sources to learn about Black women in US history.

ART PROJECT:

I already drew many of the women mentioned in the book, but my favorite part was hearing about Shirley Chisholm and I inexplicably missed her when I did my faces project last year, so I drew her.

#A black woman's history of the united states #52books #52booksproject #black history month #women's history month #shirley chisholm

[equallyshaw]

The Medicated Series: features OC's with medical issues such as depression, anxiety, physical disabilities such as MS or Rheumatoid Arthritis as well as any other autoimmune disease such as Crohn's, endometriosis, infertility, etc. (not an autoimmune but you get it).

I feel, as a person with a physical disability, that there is a lack of representation and have always wanted to see myself in y/n stories. Always have and always will.

In my writing, it will have inclusivity, not exclusivity.

Love you all, stay healthy and safe.

I'm starting off with rheumatoid arthritis since this is what I have, and have so much to say ! haha. Enjoy xx

Links for information regarding rheumatoid arthritis:

https://www.cdc.gov/arthritis/basics/rheumatoid-arthritis.html

https://www.arthritis.org/diseases/rheumatoid-arthritis

triggers/warnings: medications, disformity, and talks of depression/anxiety.

Cale Makar Medicated Series Master post:

Original Character: Eliza Nicole James, 23 years old. Brunette Hair, Blue Eyes, short and curvy.

Word count: 4k.

——

Today was like any normal day. My hands are stiff, my knees unable to properly move, probably shouldn't have had that Chinese food last night but alas, here we are. When I have something like Chinese, Mexican food, or pizza, my body goes into overdrive, and well, it wants to stop working even more so than it already does. I'll wake up with night sweats which is exactly what happened this morning, and now I am walking like a penguin trying to make coffee in my kitchen as well as some toast.

“Bad morning?” my best friend/godsend/caregiver Becca smiled from her computer in the little breakfast nook. I nodded, holding onto the counter with whatever strength I had. “Fuck.” I rasped, realizing I didn't grab my coffee creamer, “Here.” Becca said getting up and bringing me my coffee creamer and giving me a hug. Today was a rough one. My rheumatoid arthritis hasn't been this bad in a while. I go through periods where I'm up and then others are down and today I was down. I’ll need a shit ton of Tylenol to get through. Maybe the full 6 before 4 pm today when I get off of work.

It is currently 7:30 in the morning and i have to get to work by 10, since i have a physical disability, i am allowed to work 10-4 every day - most days. Some days I work less and others I can work a full 8 hours. But today might be only 6 if i can manage. But wait no, today we were having this hockey team come in and visit kids that had terminal illness’. I am a social worker working with kids who are like me or similar, where we will never get better. Never. Go figure.

Becca helped me back to my room to help me get started on my morning routine since she could see I was having a day.

“Okay pretty girl, what pants and shirt today?” she asked, looking in my closet as I sat down on my bed. I bit my cheek before responding, “anything that looks good. I don’t really have the energy or ability to decide right now.” I breathed , realizing that the brain fog was kicking in. When that happens, I tend to get dizzy, the inability to concentrate and sound a bit drunk due to my words slurring.

—

As soon as I walked in, I noticed a bunch of people with microphones and cameras and I groaned internally as I walked down the hall. Eric noticed me as soon as I walked past him and a huge group of guys, the hockey team I believe.

"Eliza!” Eric called after me, and I continued to trudge towards my office and once I walked in I noticed a Trenta iced coffee waiting for me and I smiled, I could cry happy tears right now. My body always could use so much caffeine at one time. I never did not have enough energy. Eric walked in and gave me a sad smile behind me, “Eliza, you should have told me how bad it was today. You didn't need to come in.” he said looking at my cane that i was sporting. I waved him off, taking a big gulp of my coffee as I sat down.

“Thankyou ric, i appreciate it so much.” I murmured and rested my eyes for a second. The energy to get from the outpatient pavilion doors to my office seemed like nothing to a ‘healthy’ person but for me, it was like climbing up mount everest sometimes. Eric sat down across from me, speaking into the walkie he sported sometimes for events. “We should be able to start in 15 minutes. Our star speaker should be ready then.” he said, talking about me and I groaned out loud. Eric took notice and leaned forward on his knees, inspecting me.

“I'll be fine, even if I stumble over a few of my words and they think I'm drunk.” I sipped some more coffee, preparing myself for the day ahead. eric gave me a hearty laugh, knowing full well the extent of my comments.

—

“Now, I would like to introduce you to our very own warrior, miss Eliza James.” Eric announced looking at me at the side of the stage and I smiled, handing him my cane as he met me. He gave me an inquisitive look and I shook my head, smiling. I began to walk towards the podium, walking almost perfectly now that the 3 Tylenol I popped in the car ride over were kicking in.

I looked out over the crowd that was filled with hockey players, media, doctors, therapists, and so many of the warriors themselves.

I smiled before speaking, “good morning and welcome to the Denver Medical Center, Hillside outpatient pavilion for our little warriors. Who, like me, face an uphill battle day in and day out. We are incredibly grateful for your support, especially during these trying times.” I paused, taking a shaky breath.

“I first came here when I was 12, not understanding what my body was going through. I remember the first day I woke up with the inability to move. I could not get out of bed for a month after that, barely functioning to be able to eat and sleep well. I did not know why my body was giving up on me, I was angry, I was sad, I was confused. How could a little girl who did everything right- be dealt this card in life? I went through many weeks not understanding what was happening until I came here, after a long few days of testing and blood work. It was the day after I turned 12 that the incredibly kind and understanding Dr. Hart - who is here today - told me what I had. And told me that I was not alone, that I'd never be alone. And she was right, after many months of fighting through pain and virtually relearning how to walk every morning again, how to hold a spoon, a pen or how to properly sleep, I came to this hospital and met people just like me. I met people like Martha, Phillip, James, and Piper who are all here today. Who I am so very fortunate to work with every day.” I paused, smiling at them in the crowd. “Without the help that I received many years ago, I wouldn't be standing here today. I wouldn’t be who I am, doing what I love. Without the many years of physical, occupational, and talk therapy that took up my youth.” I paused taking in a breath. “And finally, many people ask us, “how do we do it?” “How are you so resilient?” and I always respond, what other choice do we have? What other options do we have? And every day with the little warriors in front of us, people witness that being in pain and living with it is possible and maybe just maybe, we won’t have to be so resilient. Thank you.” I finished smiling a grateful smile.

What I didn't notice was how moved some of the hockey players were, and the tears that brimmed their eyes over the unimaginable. Yeah, it's unimaginable until you wake up one day with it.

I walked back towards Eric, with a smile on my face as he clapped happily for me. “You did so well!” he grinned before walking past me to finish the opening and then we could get around to the hockey players meeting the patients. As soon as he was finished, I walked over to the kiddos and said good morning to them.

Martha, my favorite little Irish dancer, jumped up and gave me a big hug, “How are we doing today M?” I asked bending over a little bit to face her and be on her level. “It's okay! I can bend my fingers more today than yesterday and my hand’s aren’t as puffy.” the 7-year-old beamed. “And oh my god that's makar!!!” she said in a smaller voice, and i peered over to look to see who she was looking at and not realizing who was who. I smiled, looked back at Martha and grinned, “Wanna go color?” I asked and she nodded excitedly as her mom laughed. “Always down to color anytime, any day.” she mused and I giggled understanding her excitement. I took her hand and began to walk with her towards the play area as well as the ‘playroom’ that was used for music therapy and art therapy. Which I help facilitate and run. Five minutes later the players all shuffled in and began to walk toward different kids and began to hang out with them. I was sitting at the coloring table with Martha rubbing circles on my deformed knee. Let’s just say it was bumpy and had no cartilage left, so I was literally joint on bone.

“Hi. is this seat taken?” a young voice asked to the side of me, Martha eyed me. That nervous little chick. I shook my head, “no not at all.” I said with a small smile, taking in the hazel-eyed dark blonde-haired boy. He smiled and sat down in between Martha and I. “So what are you drawing?” the hockey player asked. Martha didn't say anything. “She's a bit shy, give her some time.” I said getting a bit closer to the guy and he nodded looking back at me.

“My name is Cale, what’s yours?” he asked after a few minutes of coloring. cale. “Mar-martha.” the young girl said and Cale smiled. “You have a pretty name, Martha.” Cale mused and Martha blushed. So did cale. “And you are Eliza right?” Cale asked, facing me a bit and I nodded.

“Hey Shelley, I'll be back. I need to go speak to Dr.hart for a few minutes.” I said to Martha's mom and she nodded. Okay, you can do this. No falling now. I pushed back the chair a bit to give myself some room, hoisting myself up and putting my weight on the table. Cale and Martha eyed me, making sure I was ok.

I stood up, flexing my knees a bit and sighing. “You ok Eliza?” Cale asked concerned and I looked down at him for a second before nodding, “Just another day with these old knees.” I half-joked before turning on my heel and walking towards the hallway. Dr. Hart looked up from her desk, before getting up and meeting me halfway. “Bad day?” she asked and I nodded. She nodded, walking over to her desk and grabbing a doctor’s script. “10 mg prednisone. Now.'' She said handing me a doctor's order and I thanked her before heading down to the pharmacy, not without letting a social worker know and having them tell Martha that if I could - I'd be back.

It was a few hours later as I was sitting at my desk, going through some paperwork before I heard a knock on my door. I looked up and saw Cale and I motioned for him to come in.

“Hey- you forgot this.” he said moving the cane closer to me and my eyes went wide. “Oh my gosh! I will never go anywhere without this thing.” I said standing up to grab it. “Thankyou.” I said smiling as I reached for it and he nodded, “Here sit down.” I motioned toward the two seats in front of my desk. “How was Martha? Did she come out of her shell?” I asked and he nodded, grinning. “She's funny and spunky for a 7-year-old. She chirps like a pro.” he said and I laughed. “Oh yeah- keeps you on your toes.” I said and he laughed.

“But that's good. Things like this-” I said referencing the event, “make things sometimes less stressful. Even though when you grow up and don’t have the opportunity to do things like this, as a kid it’s what you look forward to. It takes your mind away from everything, even just for a little bit.” I said rambling before catching myself. “Sorry, didn’t mean to talk that much.” I said with my cheeks going red. He gave a smile, one that I couldn’t read. “All good, I like hearing you talk.” he said before catching himself, “I mean, I like hearing what you have to say. It’s eye-opening and raw. Which I think the dads in the group needed to hear. That things could change one morning and have it not be the same.” he said honestly and I nodded. “It still doesn’t get better, even 11 years later- my dad still gets upset and how he can’t help me in the way he wants to or ‘protect’ me.” I confessed. “13 years? Wow.” Cable said dumbfounded. “Yep, I'm still so young and it's daunting and honestly depressing thinking about the rest of my life. I never thought I'd get to 18 let alone 21. But here I am at 23.” I added and he took that in like a sponge. “Well I'm glad you’re here, it seems as though you are making an impact. And mean so much to these people. Is it true you helped start this wing of the hospital?” he asked very curiously. I nodded, “Yep, there was a room in the hospital next store where we would meet 2 times a week. Here, we meet every day if possible or we have rotating kids that come for therapy and to simply be a kid with others who are going through the exact same thing.” Cale nodded in awe.

Like yeah, it's one thing to be passionate, but it's another to feel the joy come after putting in the time and effort to help kids just like you. It’s more than rewarding.

“You ok?” he asked after a moment of silence. “Ye-yeah, brain fog is bad today and I also got some steroids so I’m in a funk.” I laughed and he did too. “I hate to be forward- but could I possibly get your number? Take you to coffee or whatever you feel comfortable with?” Cale asked and I froze. I looked him in the eyes, not registering what he was saying. “Uh- wait what?” I asked before realizing what I had said. “Could I possibly get your number?” he asked, feeling nervous. “Um, hmmm. That's a first.'' I said, chuckling and closing my eyes as I leaned back in my chair. “Nobody has ever asked me for my number before.” I said, reopening my eyes. Cale was taken back by that. She was gorgeous, down to-earth, and friendly, how could somebody not like her? “Here.” I said handing him my card with my email and work cell number there. “I just want to let you know, there is a very real possibility that I will cancel like I could wake up one morning feeling fine- and then bam as soon as I’m heading out the door, I have to go back to sleep or stay in because of something. '' I said, hoping he’d understand.

“If you do, there will always be another day. I promise.” he smiled a genuine smile that made my bad knees crumble as I stood up. “That's a very sweet cale, but you might be thinking differently when the time comes.” I said hoping he’d understand and I wouldn’t have get my hopes up. “Again- they’ll be another day. Or if you feel comfortable, I could always bring food or coffee over and we can hang out that way. I just want you to feel comfortable.” he said, hoping she’d get the message that he wouldn’t leave or ignore her. I nodded, “thanks cale.” and smiled.

“Now, if you don't mind- I'm outta here for the day.” I said, grabbing my laptop bag and cane, and heading out the door. “Wait, do you want me to help you?” He asked me as he followed me out. I shook my head, “I might look like I’m fragile but I can do a lot by myself.'' I said confidently and he nodded sporting red cheeks. We came up to the pavilion doors, meeting some of the hockey players that were waiting around. As soon as Cale walked up, they noticed me and smiled.

“Thank you guys again for coming out today, I assure you the kiddos won’t stop talking about this for months. It made their year.” I said smiling and they nodded. “Of Course! We had a really good time, I believe we are coming back in a few weeks to do this again.” a tall blonde and beautiful man said. mental note: gabriel landeskog. I nodded, “We will see you guys then.” I said before walking out the electric sliding doors.

“Bye James! Please don’t fall!” Eric joked/yelled from the counter, as Becca pulled up. I opened the door, and waved back to Eric, chuckling a bit. “I’ll try my very best for you, Ric!” I mused before getting in the seat.

“You wouldn’t believe what just happened.” I said as I sat down in the car.

“Ouuu tell me!!!” Becca said as we pulled away. “A hockey player asked for my number.” I said shyly. “Wait!!!!” Becca said, looking over and screaming at me. “Oh my god oh my god!!!! This is the best news!!” Becca exclaimed, causing me to laugh.

“Uh huh, just wait until he sees how many issues I have and then he’ll start running for the hills.” I remarked and she gave me a frown. “No, don't think that. He talked to you after hearing what you had to say spoonie. (autoimmune nickname) Don’t doubt yourself. You don’t realize how much of an enigma you are sweetie.” she said, grabbing ahold of my hand.

“Yeah right.” I said starting to get even more defeated. My phone buzzed in my lap, and I looked down to see a text from an unknown number.

“Text me a time and place, and I'll be there. No rush, just let me know whenever :)” the text read.

“He even put on a smiley face!!” Becca pointed out making a turn at the light.

Maybe just maybe, cale was giving her the time of day, that she deserved so very much.

—

It was a month later, that the team and orginization were going to be highlighting and honoring the kiddos from the pavilion. It warmed my heart to see how much the team was getting out of these little kids. So when I got a call from Joe Sakic himself, I was floored. They personally wanted me to facilitate the evening in whatever fashion I wanted and they’d provide anything and everything for us.

Martha and I walked hand in hand into Ball Arena, it was two hours before puck drop and we were going to see the team before the game started. Well, they were- I was just there as moral support for Martha.

Martha beamed as we walked through the tunnels, rambling on about seeing Cale again. Her and cale had become thick of thieves the few times he had been around. Sometimes on his own without the team, to see Martha and ofcourse me. We had been talking for pretty much the whole month and even had made it to two dates outside of my apartment, the other two were in my sanctuary. Cale had been so sweet and understanding, but it was only a matter of time.

Martha noticed Cale from down the hall and pointed at him, and began to get even more excited.

Cale and a couple of the other players were playing soccer, getting into the zone for the game, and relaxing a bit. “Martha, he’s busy. We will see him in a bit, ok?” I said leaning down to Martha’s eyesight and she nodded with a bit of a pout. “Were gonna go meet Sakic ok?” I said and she nodded as we headed towards Joe Sakic’s office with the nine other kids that could make it tonight. We walked past the group of players, with me attempting to keep them all in line, making sure they got to the first destination. They were like any other kids, they were excited to see the players and had to be reigned in in order for them to not disturb the players. We walked towards the office and saw the king himself, waiting outside of his office talking to my manager- Eric who wouldn’t miss this for the world.

“Hi, guys!! How are you doing?” he asked the kids as we got closer. All ten of them began to shout, and go crazy. It was a sight to see. I watched from behind them, taking in their excitement, and laughed at the whole ordeal. This is why I got into social work, to see things like this happen. And Joe Sakic was taking it all in like a pro, kneeling down and commenting on their jerseys and hats, etc. He was also quite the jokester too. After a few minutes of watching from afar, I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Cale. I smiled widely, taking in his presence. “Hi Cale, how are you?” I asked turning around to give him my full attention. “I'm good, how are you today? Any surprises? I see you don’t have your cane.” he asked and I shook my head. “No, thankfully. It’s a good day.” I mused. “Well I am glad. You excited for the game?” he asked and I nodded, “This is actually my first in person game ever, so Martha promised me she’d show me the ropes. Her family being season ticket holder and what not.” I joked causing him to grin. Speak of the devil. “Cale!!!!!” Martha screamed jogging past the rest of the kids and Joe Sakic, and Cale opened his arms and kneeled to her height. Oh, how it would be lovely to kneel again.

Awhile later, the kids were running around or tempting to run around the locker room greeting all the players and having them sign their jerseys. I stood in the doorway leading into the hallway, feeling somewhat overwhelmed but kept telling myself to deal with it because who knows when this would ever happen again. I looked towards Martha who was in front of Nathan Mackinnon giving him pointers on how to not fall so much since the last game, apparently he kept falling. Nathan was enjoying this very much and played along with it, taking her notes and corrections very seriously. Even another player, Erik Johnson joined in with his so-called notes. Martha was a gem, everybody could tell. “You alright? Ever since we walked in here, you’ve been quiet.” Cale asked me as I stepped out into the hall for a brief moment. I was overwhelmed, overstimulated, and just wanted to find some coffee and a pretzel and call it an evening.

“Yeah-yeah I’m fine.” I said giving him a fake smile, which he didnt believe. “Im exhausted, I need to find some coffee and just chill. As much as I love all of this, it's overwhelming. Not gonna lie.” I confessed and he nodded. “Is there anything I can do?” cale asked, hoping he could ease some of the burden. “I’ll be fine, we will be heading to our seats shortly.” I said and he nodded. “Will I be able to see you tonight after the game?” he asked hopefully and I frowned. “Probably not Cale, I will be passed out as soon as the game is over. I know that’s not something you want to hear, but that’s me. I’m afraid.” I said and he shook his head, putting a hand on my arm. “How many times do I have to tell you, that whatever you can do is perfectly fine?” he said genuinely causing a chuckle to escape my lips. “Okay, ill text you though. No promises.” I said as the kids started to walk out.

“Pretzel time, Eliza!!!” Martha shouted causing Cale and I to laugh. “And coffee!” Shelley, Martha’s mom added and I pointed at her with a grin. “You know it!” I mused before turning back to cale. “Have a good game.” I said and he nodded and thanked me before heading back in the locker room.

“Have a good time, James!” I heard from behind me, seeing Bo Byram and I rolled my eyes laughing and waving him off.

“Now let’s see what all this hockey fuss is about, Martha.” I joked causing her to groan playfully and ramble about everything that had to do with hockey. It was time to make notes if I were to continue to see Cale.

What Eliza didn’t know was that she’d be seeing a lot more of Cale inside and outside of work in the coming months.

…

And I know cale wasn’t featured a lot here— but he will be :)

I hope you guys enjoyed it!! I can’t wait to dive more into there relationship.

Let me know!

Please like, repost, and if you want to - give me a follow to get many more stories like this and others :)

#hockey #nhl #calemakarimagine #coloardoavalanche #avalanche #autoimmunedisease #cale makar #colorado avalanche #romance #friendship #bo byram #Gabriel landeskog #fanfiction #Nathan mackinnon #erik johnson #cale makar m series

[nicsalazar]

Weeping willow || Andy & Nicole

TIMING: Current PARTIES: @declinlalune & @nicsalazar SUMMARY: Andy and Nicole go on a hike and learn how similar they are. CONTENT WARNING: Parental and sibling death, alcoholism mentions

It wasn’t often that Andy allowed herself to have any kind of routine outside of her usual day-to-day. Disturbances to said routine were often a cause of anxiety, better pushed down and dealt with in the silence of her home, but as far as her accompanied hikes went, she wasn’t entirely upset by the idea of having somebody to share them with outside of Alex. Meeting Nicole had been by chance– and continuing to run into her had been a means of repetition and habit. Because of the feeling that traveled over her skin when they happened across one another, Andy had considered finding a different route, just to create a safe space for the other woman, even though Nicole had no clue at all what Andy was hiding in her gene pool. But after talking a few times, she realized they had more in common than originally thought. 

So as fate, or some fucked up coincidence would have it, Andy and Nicole had begun taking the trail together. “I found some bear traps a few weeks ago on the incline up here, just as a heads up.” She didn’t bother with the trekking pole today, mostly because she knew she wouldn’t necessarily be looking out for the steel traps. Even though she couldn’t tell what kind of shifter Nicole was, it was probably better to tell her that the woods might not be as safe as previously thought. “I triggered a few of them, hid the ones I couldn’t carry back– those fuckers are heavy as hell, I don’t think I considered that on the way back down.” Two wasn’t entirely terrible, but despite her cursed super strength, it did put a strain on her back. 

Nicole had grown to enjoy her hiking companion more than she ever thought she would. The circumstances weren’t completely clear to her even now, months after their first hike together. At the time, she had been looking for something to keep herself in shape during the off season. But somewhere along the way, it became routine. The kind Nicole could welcome in a life so unpredictable. She nodded at Andy’s warning. She touched her biceps, a glint of amusement in her eyes. “Got it, you’re just saying that to show off a little…” What she really wanted to say was, possibly, a little crude. That maybe she should’ve kept the traps in place. No, she would’ve sounded like an asshole. Andy was looking out for people, she assumed. Nicole was more concerned with the beasts. 

Another thing Nicole appreciated of this hiking arrangement was the likelihood of staying quiet for long period of times, without feeling her skin crawl at the idea of making small talk. They were hiking after all. Save for a few minor slip ups, they had kept conversation impersonal. Which suited her fine. Except— Only her curiosity could claw at her protective walls and dent them. And she had grown curious about Andy. At this point, it felt like they should be more, shouldn’t they? Was Andy keeping the distance because of self preservation, or because she was picking up something on Nicole’s end? Vibes. She knew people talked about vibes a lot. Maybe her vibes were wretched. Except, they couldn’t be, because Andy was constantly making the choice to go on this hike with her. A terrifying thought nested in her mind: It was up to her to extend a branch. She chewed on the inside of her cheek, pulse quickening. “Never thought bears would such a fucking problem when I moved here, you know? Which was— eh, probably a really fucking stupid omission on my part” then again, her mind wasn’t flooded with brilliant thoughts at the time. She waited a beat, opting to clear up a few assumptions. “So, did you grow up here?” 

Andy was glad that it was slightly warm, so that when a blush bloomed across the bridge of her nose at Nicole’s comment, it would go unnoticed. “If I’m working out, then shouldn’t I be?” Be what, Andy? She cleared her throat and tugged at the end of her braid, moving it to rest on her other shoulder. Andy had come to enjoy the hikes. They were a means of company without the insistence of conversation or breaking barriers. As much as Andy could have used a friend to speak her worries to, she was fine with what she and Nicole had going on. She was grateful, even, and she showed it at the end of every hike. Same time next week? Andy tugged at the straps of her backpack, looping her thumbs through the ends, swinging her arms back and forth as if a child on their way to school. 

For a while, the only sounds were their even breathing and bird calls. Then Nicole spoke, and Andy couldn’t help but laugh at her comment. “Yeah, I mean, I guess?” There were other things, too, that she was positive the traps were meant for. Even if they were dangerous, they didn’t deserve to die, trapped. That, of course, came with the baggage of what ifs. What if they killed people, what if they terrorized the community, what if they were dangerous. But Andy didn’t want to think about the what if’s. She wanted to think about the simplicity of a bear trap and what it could mean for a cub, fox, or even a deer who happened across it. Getting into the details of the supernatural meant having to approach somebody else with its existence, and she wanted to keep the fact that she was in the know out of the conversation. “When did you move here?” Andy asked as she glanced over at Nicole, before letting out a laugh at how their questions collided. “Nah, my sister and I moved here… about four years ago? I think.” That seemed right. “Sorta lost track, a lot has happened in the past year or so.” She stopped swinging her arms and dropped her thumbs from their place in the loops and began to pick at the loose threads from the bottoms of her shorts. “I like it though, it’s nice.” It could be home, maybe. One day.

“Hmm” Nicole’s thoughts flooded her, their joke momentarily on hold. She couldn’t think of anything worse than showing off. To push yourself into the spotlight, on purpose? She shuddered. But people did a lot of that at the gym, which is why she often opted out of it. Rock climbing was way more fulfilling than doing a bunch of repetitions in— Would Andy enjoy rock climbing? Clearing her throat, she got herself out of her brief moment of introspection, one she walked into by making the joke in the first place. Humor, right. “Maybe. And who do you wanna impress out here in the woods? The squirrels, the birds? Dunno if they’d into it…” she was pushing into the absurdity now, smile reaching her eyes. She took a few side steps, putting distance between them, just in case Andy decided to retaliate with those mighty arms. 

She laughed at their coincidence, but remained quiet once she noticed Andy gearing up to answer. Nicole’s gaze was fixed on the woman’s profile as she spoke. Andy had a sister. The hint of a smile crossed her features. It was gone before it could turn bittersweet. Before it was ruined by grief, and gave away more than she was comfortable with. She filed that information somewhere it wouldn’t get lost in the disorganized mess of her mind. To ask next time. How was the week? How’re you? How’s your sister?

She also learned that Andy wasn’t a local. Much like herself. Nicole pulled two protein bars —cookies and cream and chocolate brownie— dangling them in front of Andy for her to grab. Paying close attention to which one she went for (so she knew to bring more next time). It was a minute or so of their footfalls, until she remembered Andy’s question. “Oh, right…you— It’s been six years for me…close to that I’m sure,” timing got a little hazy when you spent a third of it (if she lowballed it) blackout drunk.

“But it is nice.” she agreed. Nicole knew she was crazy for thinking so. And maybe it was because Leah had rubbed off on her, it was impossible to avoid a sense of affection for this stupid, dangerous place. Even if she went on to diss it in the following breath. It was her trash town, dammit. “I mean, I ended up here cause Google told me to… could’ve been worse” she ripped the package of her protein bar with her teeth. “You do your research first?”

“I don’t know, maybe I’d be like one of those disney princesses, you know?” Andy hadn’t been raised on disney, and it’d only been later in life that she watched movies like Snow White, Tangled, and Sleeping Beauty. Out of the three, Tangled had been her favorite, mostly because the vision of using a frying pan to defend herself was hilarious and possible all at the same time. “Instead of talking to the animals, they’re just super impressed by my muscles.” She had worked hard to keep her physique. Not out of want for herself, but out of necessity. There was no telling what, or who might come after herself and Alex, so she liked to keep strong. She kept active, and even went to the gym at least four times a week. 

Andy was oblivious to any reflection Nicole might have done at the mention of Alex. Instead, her attention was pulled by the other woman rummaging in her own pack, and then, snacks were displayed in full view. It took Andy a second to recognize the flavors before she pointed at the chocolate brownie. “We can split it if it’s your favorite.” Andy swiped the protein bar from her hand and knocked it against her hand. She smiled at Nicole, continuing to keep pace with her. She’d been used to giving up the things she wanted, or needed, for the sake of others. It never bothered her. She couldn’t let it bother her. If she did, she’d have been a terrible sister and a terrible caregiver. 

“Six years? That’s a long time, if you think about it.” Since her parents died, Andy hadn’t been anywhere for longer than– well, four years, now. She opened the protein bar as they walked, careful to avoid any small pieces of plastic falling away as she tore. “You got here because of Google… Really?” Andy let out a laugh before she took a bite of the protein bar, only sort of forgetting she told Nicole they could share if she’d picked out the favorite. She could break it in half in the middle, if anything. “Um, through the grapevine, mostly, but Google definitely helped me figure out if it was a good fit.” Shit– what if Nicole picked up on that? She probably would. She seemed observant. “You know, the whole coastal town thing. Cheaper rent prices. We got our cabin for dirt, compared to some of the other places in town, it was one of the reasons I decided to just stay.” 

“Disney princess…” Nicole squinted at her, mouth opening and closing a few times before answering. “So not what I was expecting to come out of your mouth” she breathed out a laugh. But she was willing to run with the scenario. “So— like… If—if you flex they come to your aid? Snow white style?” She flexed her own arm to demonstrate, looking around as if her words would magically become true. Oh. So werewolves and vampires were real, but apparently fit disney princesses was pushing it. “Probably modern disney though… the kind that doesn’t need a man or anything” she mused, mostly to herself. In her opinion the only original disney princess that mattered was Belle. Which— If she had a type, that was neither here, nor there. 

She nodded curtly at Andy’s suggestion, fixing her with a curious frown. Keep the whole thing, she thought. And that was it for her. She focused on her own snack, unaware of Andy’s inner struggles. Cookies and creams worked just fine for her.

“Yeah, ah…Google” she nodded, striding quietly for a moment. Perhaps, Nicole should’ve thought twice before bringing this up. She shrugged, trying to formulate her next sentence with enough delicacy not to step on an emotional landmine. “Rough spot at the time, you know? Not a lot of options. So— I end up looking for obscure small towns” her gaze fell to the forest ground, because focusing on branches and dirt and bugs was a lot easier. “Didn’t even click on the links or anything. Just, go with the first one I saw”. The rest was history.

Nicole wondered what Andy found on her Google research to deem this town perfect for her and her family. Besides, obviously, the facts she was currently sharing with her. Because someone, somewhere must’ve had some article out there warning people not to come. Right? But she chose to put a pin on that question, not only for what it could potentially reveal, but because the mention of a cabin dismantled her fragile attention span. “Oh, yeah. Those cabins. Got one too— pretty sure it was haunted,” the trail split in front of them and Nicole pointed towards the least beat down. “Lucky me ended up moving a year ago, so at least I don’t have to worry too much about some mons—” she caught herself in time, keeping her eyes glued to her boots. “Wild animals… bursting through my window in the middle of the night and eating me” she took a bite of her protein bar, waving what remained in her hand as she continued. “Gotta keep your place secured” she stated in the way of an advice. Though, if Andy had lived there for four years then she knew all about it already.

“Hey, what does that mean?” Andy narrowed her eyes playfully. She knew the vision was hilarious. Andy didn’t scream disney princess, and she wasn’t sure where disney was at with adding ex-werewolf hunters to their cast. Not that it mattered. It was a joke, and Nicole had taken it as such. “Yeah, see, you get it. You have the vision.” When Nicole flexed, Andy snorted. Her comment about not needing a man made Andy laugh even harder. “No, definitely not. When do you think they’ll bring out the first lesbian princess? Maybe I can be buff and gay, a true revolutionary.” If there were already buff or gay disney princesses, she had no clue. It felt easy, declaring who she was to Nicole. There was no fear out of resentment or ridicule, and she was grateful. 

As they walked, Andy began reading the back of the label of her protein bar, taking note of the brand so that she could buy some for Alex and Kaden to try. Maybe Kaden wouldn’t be as dissatisfied since it would say protein on it. Then again, he might be put off by all the sugar. Whatever. 

As Nicole explained her rough spot, all Andy could do was nod. “No, I get it. You don’t need to go into detail or anything.” She wouldn’t ever make somebody else feel the need to put themself on display, especially when she couldn’t even do so herself. Especially not when Nicole had Andy’s skin crawling. What would she think, if Andy explained that she’d been running away from the very thing that she was, with the very thing she had been taught to hate in tow? Would she be dismissed? Would Andy lose a friend? Because that’s what this was growing to be— a friendship, and Andy wanted it to stay that way, but didn’t Nicole have a right to know? 

Andy felt the back of her neck begin to prickle, not because of Nicole, but because of the nerves. Fuck, just be normal, Andy. 

Andy forced herself to fall back into the conversation. “That’s bold as hell though, I um…” She tried to remember the word commend, but came up empty, and quickly finished off the protein bar as a means for time, before shoving the wrapper into her pocket. “Think that’s pretty fucking cool. Following whatever you need to do for you.” Because that wasn’t a lie. 

“A haunted cabin? Damn… ours only came with mice.” Andy wondered, silently, how far she was from Nicole’s place. Maybe she should tell her— at least about Kaden. There was no telling what would happen there. Andy still wasn’t entirely sure why he was in Wicked’s Rest, or what he was running from. Fuck. Be. Normal. Andy smiled easily as her thoughts tormented her. It wasn’t hard to catch onto what Nicole had meant to say. So she was skirting around it, too. Andy nodded, as if to reiterate Nicole’s comment. “The raccoons, they’ll eat just about anything, won’t they?” Her brows pulled together before she stole a glance at Nicole, noting how she was barely flushed from the hike. “I’ve got a baseball bat, does that count?” And an assortment of other weapons, but that didn’t matter. None of it was anything that could intentionally hurt Alex, aside from the butterfly knife made of silver that she had gotten from her mother— she hadn’t figured out a way to part with that memory just yet. 

Nicole offered a noncommittal shrug. They both knew what it meant, but she didn’t wanna put her foot in her mouth. Not that she had any time to. Her eyebrows probably reached her hairline when she heard Andy. “Wh—” What? Lesbian princesses? She cocked her head, as if the act would push her braincells to process faster. She knew better than to judge a book by its cover — that was an absolute lie, she was definitely the judging kind— but fuck, how did she never realize? When looking at Andy was like someone shoving a mirror in front of her. Or like putting up bright neons signs with the word ‘gay’ pointing down at her. “Oh” she nodded, the information reaching understanding stage in her braig clogs. “Since when?” really? “No— no” she raised her hand to stop Andy from saying anything. “That came out— I just mean, that’s great that you are…” 

It was possible Nicole might have sweat more in that moment than she had during the entire hike. She didn’t want Andy to think she felt weird about it. But in her defense —that wasn’t never a great angle, was it?— in her defense, she had missed a huge cultural and societal shift while a jaguar took her body prisoner. Her fifteen year old self had to grapple with being gay in isolation, uncertain if she’d ever be happy, while twenty one year old Nicole had girls flirting with her without shame or fear. And yes, it was a little embarrassing that she still felt shy, uttering the word, but Andy had nothing to do with it. “I am, too. Since, always…obviously”.  

Nicole had treaded carefully most of their conversation. Expertly avoiding anything that could have emotional repercussions. She had gotten good at it, especially in her sobriety, but then Andy uttered one simple word and it seemed to pull the trigger. Her thoughts did betray her that time, sinking into the unwanted reminders of the past. “Yeah…” Bold never was the appropriate way to describe anything she’d ever done. Certainly not running away while her family was slaughtered. Or running away years later, because she couldn’t handle the aftermath. She clenched her jaw, diverting her attention to the trees while she chewed back the unwelcomed tears. “Will tell you about it sometime”. It wasn’t the usual attempt at avoiding a tough conversation. She meant it, she wanted Andy to know. Ideally, she would’ve liked to do so with a drink in hand. But that wasn’t— it couldn’t be possible anymore. And for good reason. She’d find a way to tell Andy, it’d just take longer. She sniffed, her tears already dried. “Maybe not on a hike, though. Something more…” she licked her lips, trying the word in her head before saying it, “chill”. She used that correctly, she was confident. Yup. “If you’d be— into that. Maybe you’re not the going out type. But hey, you’re a disney princess apparently, so no more assumptions”.

She finished her protein bar before Andy did, mostly because she needed something to swallow that wasn’t the lump in her throat. They had moved past it, it was fine. “Oh, I think even the mice were ghosts” Nicole breathed out a laugh, painfully aware that they were both skirting around the issue of supernatural. So Andy knew, but how much? “The racoons… they got some really big ones here in Wicked’s rest. My theory? All that stuff in the mines. Bet some fumes drift to the forest. Mutants” she’d never been prouder of the bullshit coming out of her mouth. And somehow it seemed more possible than the truth. Because who’d believe in giant bears and werewolves, vampires and phoenixes, freaking jaguars frolicking about coastal Maine? “Baseball bats are great” she approved with a nod, “a dog wouldn’t hurt either” she looked up alarmed then, as if she might have said the most offensive thing in the world. “If you like them, of course. Unless… you’re one of the— cat obsessed lesbians?”

Andy nearly came to a stand still at Nicole’s reaction to her coming out. She knew that there were no malicious intentions in Nicole’s surprise, but the way she spluttered made Andy laugh anyway. Maybe she should have felt uneasy, but Nicole seemed like the kind of person that she could have this kind of conversation with. At her question of when, Andy laughed loud enough for the birds in the trees above them to scatter. “Si—“ Immediately cut off by Nicole’s raised hand, Andy snorted.

The laugh that came out of Andy was deep, reaching through all the way to her belly. Her shoulders shook with the realization that Nicole was embarrassed, and she tossed her head back in uninhibited joy at the deep seated realization that gays really found their own without trying. The magazines— Tik Tok, it’d all been right. “I have been, since always, obviously.” Andy knocked her shoulder against Nicole’s with another laugh, and she reached to wipe away the tears that had formed at the corners of her eyes. “Being gay sort of came to me easy.” It was everything else that she couldn’t quite place. Who she was within her hunter identity, who she was to Alex, now that they were at two separate ends of the ranger-imposed food chain. Being gay was the easiest thing that Andy had ever done, even if she was awful at flirting and pulling just about anyone. 

A brief moment of silence pulled over them and Andy cleared her throat. It had been awhile since she’d been able to laugh like that. It wasn’t to say that there weren’t joyous moments, but something like that, between two friends— no expectations, no feeling of resentment or fear. It was nice. 

Something shifted, and maybe if Andy were better with social cues, she would have noticed it sooner. Nicole got quiet. Where there had been teasing had slowly been replaced by something else that Andy did find uncomfortable. A sort of mourning that you only found when you went looking for it. Had she struck a nerve? Instead of saying anything, she allowed Nicole the silence to pull back the blanket of uncertainty, and as she spoke, the redhead nodded with ease, but not without a tightness in her chest. It was easy, pretending— pretending that she didn’t notice the way it was obvious Nicole wanted to cry. What had she been through? Andy could only imagine, given the vibration that fell over her skin with every moment they spent next to one another. It was a frequency that was hard to ignore, no matter how much she tried. It was different enough from Alex that it felt louder. Andy wondered if what Nicole was had anything to do with the stories that stayed piled at the back of her throat. It felt invasive, knowing this piece of Nicole without the other woman speaking it into existence. Andy felt guilty. She felt dirty. 

“Something more chill sounds nice.” The words, despite how simple they were, almost got caught in Andy’s throat. She reached up to untuck her braid from where it’d been caught between her shoulder and the strap of her backpack. She wanted to get to know Nicole, because if she did, it meant she could come clean. If Nicole decided to retreat, or if she got angry, then Andy would bear those reactions. She would understand if Nicole would never want to see her again. Andy didn’t think of herself as a good person. In fact, she thought of herself as quite the opposite, but she had no intention of hurting Nicole or anybody else who carried their beasts under their skin. Andy wanted that to matter in this context, but who was she to argue with somebody who might have been hurt by people like her in the past?

 At the comment about disney princesses, Andy laughed lightly, pushing for the mood to rise back to where it’d been. “As long as it’s not putt putt golf, I’m game.” She hated putt putt golf, and even the cute courses couldn’t save it for her. “Do you like laser tag?” Did Wicked’s Rest even have a laser tag arena? “Wait— sorry, I guess that isn’t chill.” Sitting down for coffee was probably along the lines of what Nicole had meant. She bit down onto the inside of her cheek. “Latte Love has good coffee?”

Another beat of silence, and Andy hummed under her breath as Nicole explained the mice were also ghosts. “I bet the cat ghosts are pissed.” Or maybe they wouldn’t be, maybe they liked the chase. Were there cat ghosts? Were there even mice ghosts? Andy wasn’t sure. “Is that your actual theory?” Andy was curious to know what other people thought about the happenings in Wicked’s Rest, especially when they knew about what was actually happening. Though, everything to do with the mines was confusing. “That might be it, honestly. Could have something to do with the water, too.” She’d been rest assured it hadn’t fucked with the water supply, but Andy still wasn’t sure. “I’ve actually never had either. I asked for a fish once… got turned down.” There were other responsibilities to tend too, her mom had said. Truthfully, she wasn’t all too sure how a cat would do around Alex. “I’ve been thinking about it, though. Our place is sort of small, but…” She shrugged. “Is that actually a thing? For lesbians? Being cat obsessed?” 

“Shut up,” she scoffed as Andy mimicked her words. She was painfully aware of the blush creeping on her ears and neck, she huffed in annoyance as her body betrayed her. But her self consciousness died quickly, morphing into something Nicole struggled to pin down. If someone rushed her to figure it out, she’d say it was pride. Andy was laughing. Genuine, unbridled. Shoulders relaxed, the telltale creases of unspoken suffering usually prominent on her face were absent. She had made that happen. With her stupidity, sure. But if that’s what it took to see the woman by her side transform, then it was a good thing she had plenty of reserves of stupidity at her disposal. She pulled on the strap of her backpack, a pleased smile tugging at her lips. “Right, you got an A on being gay. Got it” She rolled her eyes at the way Andy phrased her experience being gay. Similarly, it had come easy for Nicole too. It had been the rest of the world who didn’t want to make it easy. But… a lot had changed since she was fifteen, and it didn’t matter anymore, right? 

“Great, that’s… chill it is, then” it came out a little strained, still, but she was silently thankful Andy had decided not to push on the subject of her past. In return, she chose not to bring up whatever face journey Andy had gone in right before. Nicole allowed her sadness to switch into giddiness once she realized she had successfully planned another hangout. It was like being fifteen again, figuring out how to navigate friendships. It didn’t use to be this hard. Not that she was ever the life of the party. But she was better. Normal. And then—the jaguar ripped her apart. 

Nicole had no clue why anyone in the world would enjoy golf, or any variation of it, but she didn’t have time to express her outrage at the assumption she was one of those people. “Laser tag? Loser shares their most traumatic experience?” she knew neither of them would go for it, but she was ready to joke around again. “Definitely not chill, but we have to someday” a previous idea popped into her head. “Speaking of— rock climbing? Think you and your guns could handle it”. It shouldn’t surprise her that she was so excited at the thought of being proper friends with Andy. Or that it seemed much easier than with anyone else. That it flowed more naturally. After all, they silently agreed to be hiking partners just because they consistently picked the same trail. “But uh, coffee place sounds good, you pay— since I’ll be the one crying” she tilted her head, as if to indicate it was the most obvious trade. 

When Andy innocently joked about cat ghosts, Nicole twisted her neck so fast she almost broke it. “The—the cat ghosts?” her voice had pitched up an octave. Did she know something? No, no. They were joking about mice ghosts. Right. She made the joke. Andy was just… making a very accurate but harmless comment to follow up. Because cats chase mice, duh. Not because— “Oh right, bet they are” she huffed, nodding along the joke. And she just continued to nod (like a robot) trying to gather her thoughts and lower her heart rate while the other woman went over town theories. The water was an option, but that felt too much like a conspiracy theory. And mine fumes didn’t? She had been too busy keeping herself in check that she naturally missed her time to reply. Instead, she picked up on the lesbian comment. Her brain was predictable like that. “Think so. My girlfriend loves cats” her steps halted as the realization hit her. Is that why Leah was into her? Her eyes widened in horror. Why did she never think of— Did she somehow sense it? Oh, she didn’t want to go down that spiral. “It… it’s one of those, uh— cómo se… stereotypes?” she stammered her way out of those unwanted thoughts. “Uh, I’m more of a dog person myself”.

Andy continued her stride, avoiding a elongated branch that stretched out, dipping low enough to actually catch the top of her head. “Maybe a C-.” There’d been a lot she hadn’t done with being gay. Crowds, for the most part, had been a no-go. So pride celebrations, even when she and Alex got older and both had their self-realizations, often went untouched. “But that’s a story for another time.” A story for when they could sit and explain themselves, because it was obvious that Nicole had wanted to do just that. 

“Oh, you’re on.” She had plenty to supply, and even though it was a joke, a pit formed in her stomach. The question of what Nicole would think of her once she knew warred with the idea that they could be friends. That Nicole could be one of her first real friends. Lil and Jonas existed, of course. Andy had gotten along with them easily and they hadn’t questioned her much when they arrived back in town, but something in this felt different. Maybe she would get to know the twins better; allow herself more than a working relationship. “Rock climbing?” Andy had done it a handful of times, but never had the proper gear. It was expensive. “Once again, you’re on.” The competitive edge she’d left beneath her parents’ watchful eye bubbled, but this was different. This was fun. It was not about destruction. It was about something else. “As long as you don’t cry into my coffee, I’ll pay.” 

Andy didn’t react to Nicole’s surprise, instead, she kept her focus on the trail, still scanning for a stray bear trap that might catch her eye. “Yeah, you know, like Timothy and John.” She had meant Tom & Jerry. They continued their hike in a bout of silence, and then Nicole mentioned her girlfriend. Andy’s eyes widened slightly and she looked over. “Girlfriend? You didn’t drop that on the whole I’m gay thing.” Andy emphasized the last bit before coming to a stop with Nicole, looking down to only notice her laces were straggling. She bent down to retie them. 

“Stereotypes…” Andy shook her head. “I don’t think I fit into that. I don’t really know a ton of stereotypes. Somebody did say something about my flannel once.” She scrunched her nose and stood back upright. “You’re going to have to tell me more about this girlfriend. Does that automatically grandfather me in for having more gay friends, or do I need to impress her with my muscles too?” Andy grinned teasingly before motioning for Nicole to continue their walk. She was looking forward to Nicole’s friendship, even if there was a cloud of guilt and doubt that had begun to fester. She couldn’t fuck this up. She wouldn’t fuck this up.

#alcoholism tw #parental death tw #sibling death tw #wickedswriting #w #w: andy #bit obsessed w this one

[mlobsters]

supernatural s9e13 the purge (w. eric charmelo, nicole snyder)

this episode should come with an ED trigger warning

THIN MAN Like hell you did, Jabba! I saw you slip a hot dog in your pocket! LARGE MAN Well, I hate to break it to you, pal, but that's no hot dog.

i don't know what the appropriate emoji is for the face i made.

jackles doing the sleep deprived thing well. even his voice sounds scratchier than normal when he starts talking

SAM You sure you're okay, Dean? DEAN Why wouldn't I be? SAM 'Cause -- I don't know you... This isn't about what I said the other day, is it? DEAN Oh, about that we're not supposed to be brothers? No, don't flatter yourself. I don't break that easy. SAM Oh, good, 'cause I was just being honest. DEAN Oh, yeah. No, I got that loud and clear.

💔ouch.

gettin a little over the top with the minnesota thing here (and cute at the michigan mug). stillwater is part of the twin cities metro :p i never heard that accent when i was living there. some accent! but not the fargo accent :P and what's up with trying to make this lovely lady look bigger than she is

deep breaths through this powdered donut gag. at least the cop and dean are enjoying them. jackles sounds congested again

MALA Yes. Okay? We were having an affair -- for years, actually. DEAN I don't mean to be rude, uh... But how is it that Wayne McNut is your type? I mean, you're married to a man who's barely a buck -- wet. MALA What can I say? Sometimes it's nice to feel a little give... DEAN Oh. Yeah, I get that -- a little extra cushion for the, uh...

probably about as fat positive as we'll get but otherwise wtf

sigh. so the fat thing is like. the plot. listen. i'm not gonna comment on it going forward

SAM Wait, you told that waitress the other day you were 29.

at least doing the math on dean's age is easy because he's one year older than i am. so he'd be 35? since this aired in 2014

DEAN Because you're weird around girls. SAM What does that mean, weird? DEAN You're awkward. You know, weird -- Sam Weird. Sorry, man. I'm just... being honest.

petty but understandably so

what is going on with the set dressing. the bedding is clashing with everything, there's a full sized vintage mint colored fridge in this rando motel?? what

(be honest with you i'm fast forwarding through some of this weight related conversation)

been a hot minute since we had one of these (ah but this one didn't make the cut apparently)

DEAN Nice shorts. SAM Nice hairnet. DEAN Yeah, why do I got to be the lunch lady? SAM Since when have you ever complained about being around food? DEAN Okay, this is not food. ALONSO Hey, new guy. Quit flirtin' with the trainer and keep scoopin', huh?

DEAN How the hell do you know anything about yoga? SAM You're not the only one who's ever dated someone bendy.

okay

again with the weird tonal mix of awkward jokes and earnest serious feelings and normal banter

DEAN These aren't "supplements", they're roofies. SAM What? How do you know what roofies look like? DEAN How do you not know? You think I want to end up in a hotel bathtub with my kidney carved out? In Chechnya?

but do you ever actually see the roofies in pill form if someone is roofying you? also not the typical concern of rohypnol-related crime.

dean's cute with the rumpled hair

like the exit lighting made extra dramatic and the silhouettes

DEAN You said that you wanted to keep things strictly business. Well, last I checked, we were in the business of killing monsters. SAM I wanted to keep things strictly business between us. But I still have a heart. What if I had crossed paths with a hunter back when I was possessed by Gadreel? I could've ended up dead, too. Would I have deserved that? Would I have deserved to die?

didn't we just have this dilemma literally the last episode lol

DEAN About what you said the other day. SAM I thought it didn't bother you. DEAN You know, Sam, I saved your hide back there. And I saved your hide at that church... And the hospital. I may not think things all the way through. Okay? But what I do, I do because it's the right thing. I'd do it again. SAM And that... is the problem. You think you're my savior, my brother, the hero. You swoop in, and even when you mess up, you think what you're doing is worth it because you've convinced yourself you're doing more good than bad... But you're not. I mean, Kevin's dead, Crowley's in the wind. We're no closer to beating this angel thing. Please tell me, what is the upside of me being alive? DEAN You kidding me? You and me -- fighting the good fight together. SAM Okay. Just once, be honest with me. You didn't save me for me. You did it for you.

well that hurts because it's true. but sam, what about you, when dean died? or nearly died? was that purely altruistic, just to have dean exist? in their grief after one of them has died, they are willing to trade places, both of them. but ultimately surely they both want both things, existence and to be together

DEAN What are you talkin' about? SAM I was ready to die. I was ready. I should have died, but you... You didn't want to be alone, and that's what all this boils down to. You can't stand the thought of being alone. DEAN All right. SAM I'll give you this much. You are certainly willing to do the sacrificing as long as you're not the one being hurt.

he did go to hell so you specifically could live though, sammy, come on. 40 hell years, no less. that's a lot of being hurt. just to be fair

DEAN All right, you want to be honest? If the situation were reversed and I was dying, you'd do the same thing. SAM No, Dean. I wouldn't. Same circumstances...I wouldn't. I'm gonna get to bed.

welp. that hurts more. imagining the potential hurt of him saying that combined with the "you didn't look for me while i was in purgatory for a year" thing, like it makes it more believable in that context. this has shades to me of when sam is still mad about something and saying shit he doesn't mean, but maybe that's just me hoping

dean really blew everything up. i guess that's the only logical tv response to their little handfasting ceremony, immediately set fire to their relationship

#supernatural #spnwatch #tw ed #spn 9x13 #eric charmelo #nicole snyder

[freebooter4ever]

Hello! Another random anonymous but I kept seeing you’re posts about some relationship relating things and saw the negative stuff you’ve said about yourself. Even if they might be teasing jokes about yourself, you might not realize this (and not in a creepy way 😅) but you really are wonderful! I love seeing your posts and you’re personality!

You’re super pretty too! This might sound really random and weird (and I’m honestly probably not getting the right context of anything because I’m sort of confuse about the topic since English isn’t my first language and the events are hard to catch up with) but my grandma has found love when she was in her 50s and has lived a nice life.

I know your situation differ from hers but have faith in yourself. Nothing is wrong with you at all, it just takes time to find the person right for you and when you do, you’ll find someone who deserves you and you deserve them, if you wish to find someone to love of course. But try to remember that you should try and have some more love for yourself, no matter how tough it can get.

Just know that there are people out there and no doubt people waiting to meet you and love you. Haha sorry if this all sounds super weird and awkward, it’s just how the people of my culture see things. There’s always that one person out there who loves you and is waiting to love you 😊

Hi there! Not annoying at all, my entire blog could probably be classified as annoying, this is most definitely not a curated space :). I waited to respond to this cause i wasn't sure how.

First, im really sorry, i should probably tag my insecurity posts with trigger warnings, i know it can be...a bit much. and can hurt other people who read it. The good news is the insecurities usually only happen when im dating and i like...never...date. So as soon as i find a job i will happily go back to 'im too busy to date', and i can shove the insecurity back under the self hating rug. Its like a hornets nest - its only if you poke the nest that you get stung and i keep poking the nest lately.

Second, I apologize if i generalized too much, i am trying to be more aware of myself doing that. There's lots of examples of friends with good long relationships in my life - the friend whose wedding i'm going to has been with her husband for ten years, my other childhood bff has been with her partner for 11, and jelly bean and her husband have been married since 2015 and dating since college (lord we are old). And of the celebrity couples i kinda idolize, im pretty sure only steve ao*ki and recently rami (lol good for him) are the ones with break ups. (i have been REALLY entertained by the sheer sudden volume increase in thirst traps on steve's insta starting around the time nicole got cozy with this new guy and deleted her loving tributes to steve off her account - dont get me wrong i fully appreciate the photos and selfies, enjoying every minute of it but yeah he must be single right now LOL i would feel more bad for him if he hadnt been the one doing the dumping)(it must be hard dating with his insanely fast paced lifestyle though, i dont envy him :( ). So its absolutely a 'me' problem.

My only experiences dating over the years have taught me that i dont have much to offer that someone cant get through friendship (or friends with benefits) - entertaining and fun to hang out with but not pretty enough (or good in bed enough LOL) to be actually worthwhile. At this point its kind of a joke; "its saturday night, why are you calling me, dont you have somewhere to be?" "no, of course not, i was wondering if i could come hang out with your dog"

Thanks for trying to cheer me up? :) i'm sorry i'm an insecure mess!

#I also dont believe in soulmates #Because if you really only fall in love once #and NICK is it for me??? fuck im screwed #tw negative #new tag haha #honestly the biggest thing? i wouldnt wish dating me on anyone not even nick lmao #it sounds miserable

[titlemewickedwonderland]

Blind by Love (Part 4)

Summary: A once condemned man now free of charge but living the life of someone who's been through hell Eddie Munson believed he is incapable of being loved after what happens in the Upside Down that nearly takes his life. What happens though when he meets an unexpected girl who is thrown into his life and teaches him that one doesn't need to ability to see what's right in front of you to know love is never out of reach?

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Blind!OC

Story Contains: Set after S4. Story mention of Past trauma, PTSD, and mention of gore/blood; if you are sensitive to any of these topics please refrain from reading for your own mental safety. I don't want to accidentally trigger you, darling! Stay safe!

Chapter Warning: PTSD/slight gore

<< Previous Chapter or Next Chapter >>

"First day of school sounds like it was exhausting!" Nancy's voice sounded from the bathroom as she got ready for bed and Nicole sat waiting for her cousin to finish up her nightly routine.

A small smile graced the blonde's features as she thought over the very eventful first day from the bullying, the new people she met, to maybe…maybe making a new friend in a certain broody teen. Biting her lip the younger female idly stroked her hand against the cool sheets as she replied in a thoughtful tone

"Very eventful yes I'd say so. But it wasn't bad per se. As much stress as I imagined my first day would be but you know Mikey, he was very attentive; so was Dusty. It helps that they were around. I met some new people too through them so that's good. What about you though? Mikey commented about you and Steve…What happened to Jonathan? I heard you guys were dating and suddenly it's you and Steve again?" a delicate brow raised even when she knew Nancy couldn't see it.

Her older cousin was quite a few moments before her voice sounded getting closer as she walked into the bedroom from the en-suite bathroom she was in. "It's…complicated. I mean. Steve and I aren't together. We broke up a long time ago…things between me and Jonathan are a little stressed due to the whole long distance thing so it's probably just nothing Mike talks about." she didn't believe her but Nicole didn't say so and instead tilted her head with an encouraging smile.

"I'm sure you'll figure something out. I know Mikey misses his girlfriend in Cali as much as you do Jonathan. I wish I could have met them both. I feel as if you guys are growing up too fast for me to keep up; I have so many people to meet that I have heard about that I feel like I already know them personally." she joked feeling Nancy's weight sink into the bed beside her.

Her hands were taken into her cousins and the gentle caress of her thumbs along Nicole's knuckles was soothing as they sat there a moment. When Nancy eventually did speak up her words were carefully measured as she traced the other girl's fingers absently.

"Nikki. Have…have you been doing okay? I mean, not because of today. I mean because of…what happened. It's different being back home in your conditions and I know…god trust me I know it's hard to move past something like losing one of your senses and losing parents at the same time…I-I guess what I'm trying to ask is how you're coping."

Nicole should have known that question would pop up eventually. Mike never dare to ask because he didn't know how to confront her. He was too soft to speak of such things and wasn't ever good with words but Nancy always seemed to push Nicole to her limits and force the answers from her because she simply cared for the younger girl much like an older sister that she was. The only problem was Nicole couldn't tell her what happened without sounding crazy. Little did Nicole know though, was Nancy had dealt with was far worse and then some. Even faced down the very thing that attacked her cousin when she was younger. The problem is the girls didn't know it because they were scared of telling the other what happened.

"I'm okay…" Nicole's lips twisted into a hard smile that was forced beyond belief. "I still struggle…but I'm doing better. It's only a matter of time and living in the real world can do me some good I think. All I ask is that you just…trust me." she swallowed when Nancy squeezed her hand reassuringly before letting go.

"Okay. I do trust you, Nikki. That's why I was asking. Come on then; let's get to bed. It's late and we have school in the morning." Nicole nodded and lowered herself to the mattress and closed her eyes as Nancy clicked her light off and came up behind her cousin beneath the covers to get some sleep.

~

She was back there. Back there standing in the middle of the road in the middle of nowhere. The sky was dim and the thunder rolled with flashes of lightning above her head. She could see her parent's old car tossed and on its roof up in flames to one side of her vision while the other was of that grey humanoid…thing was its face split open like a five-petaled flower; its rows of hundreds of tiny yellow teeth on each fleshy petal of its face was sunk into a lump of red mass on the ground vaguely in the shape of a human. She knew it could only be her father. The fucking dream repeated itself every night over and over again. She'd start far away, just barely able to see the destruction but every night she'd be an inch closer. Tonight was no different but now the sound of crunching and the tearing of bloody flesh made her want to go vomit. Her stomach churned and she felt the scorch of hot tears tracking down her cheeks as she could do nothing but stand there; she couldn't move even if she tried, or at least that's how it happened every other night. But tonight was different. Her limbs were able to move freely. She'd taken one step and that's all it took for that monster to spin around and screech at her. Sweat broke out on her skin as fear raced through her veins and she twisted on her heels to run. The darkness of the world around her was nothing but a black void around her now that the scene of the crash was no longer in her line of vision. She could feel the thundering steps behind her a quadruped beat clipped with sharp scrapes as nails sank into the concrete to gain momentum. That thing was chasing her and her lungs burned for air. It happened then, like something straight out of a horror movie as the tip of her shoe caught on something and she tripped; falling flat on her front. She rolled onto her back just to be met with the hideous vision of that gray monster looming over her. Its clawed hand rose in the air and swung down in an arch to pierce her side. Her mouth opened in a shriek.

Hands. Hands were grasping her shoulders and she flailed. Crying out into the night as she sat upright trying in vain to get those phantom hands off of her. But they weren't phantom and she wasn't been pinned down. Instead, there was a pair of gentle hands trying to keep her still while the feminine voice spoke over the sound of her cries.

"Nikki! Nikki! Hey, it's okay! Nicole, it's okay! You're safe! It's me, Nancy, wake up! You're okay."

Nancy's bedroom door barged open as Mike came barreling through in a panic at hearing her cries in her sleep. At seeing the blonde half curled into his older sister's shoulder trembling as if she'd just taken a dip into the lake in winter made the 15-year-old boy's blood run cold as he saw her in such a state. He quickly came over and crawled into bed with them; his hands gently stroking at her hair listening to her mumbles through the sobs.

"Don't leave me! Please don't leave me! I don't want to be alone, I can't do this again." her breath was ragged as she trembled like a leaf; her tears soaking into Nancy's sleep shirt.

Mike couldn't help the mist that gathered at his waterline as he looked over his cousin's frame to his sister who looked like she was ready to break down too as she held Nicole close; looking so lost on how to help the girl. The boy sidled up behind Nicole and wrapped his arms around both the girls in a group hug as he gave the girl a light kiss on her temple.

"It's okay Nikki. We got you. You're safe." he said trying to comfort her

"Please don't let it get me, Mikey. Please don't let it get me." those words spoke through broken sobs making the fear run through him as he met Nancy's eyes again. The unspoken question lingering between them 'don't let what get her?'

Clear to say when morning came the trio had all passed out due to exhaustion having stayed up most of the night trying to keep Nicole calm. She would not speak about what she dreamt about and they did not want to pressure her as those blue eyes were red-rimmed from hours of tears and her face showed the exhaustion she felt mentally and physically when sleep managed to finally take her again; this time without another nightmare. When they eventually did wake up they went about silently getting ready for school while glancing at her whenever she was nearby. Mike was full of tension by the time he and Nicole got to the school and the air around him seemed to vibrate with it. He was zoned out a lot more than Dustin was starting to get nervous whenever he'd glance between the cousins. Hell, even the Hellfire club members seemed to notice and their chattering was rather low and not so full of life as it normally was. Eddie noticed the change right away and he didn't like the look on the pretty girl's face.

Nicole was so withdrawn; a lot more than usual today and Eddie was going to get to the bottom of it. So when school ended he'd commented to Mikey about someone trying to snag his bike from outside which made the boy rush out. Of course, that was a lie but it was what managed to get Eddie and Nicole alone for a few moments.

"Hey hey. Hold on a second sweetheart." his hands grasped her shoulder turn her to him as they stood at her locker. "Talk to me, what's going on? You don't look like yourself," he commented peering at her face. She looked like hell.

"I'm fine Eddie…just didn't sleep well last night. No biggy." she brushed it off and turned to go but his next words stopped her in her tracks.

"I normally wouldn't consider it but I have something that could help with that…if you're interested."

She wavered a moment; she wasn't stupid. She knew what he meant. She didn't realize Eddie was someone who dealt stuff to students but yet again. If he was considered an outcast she shouldn't be surprised. Blinking her blue eyes she half turned towards where she'd heard his voice.

"It'll help me sleep?…without any dreams?" or nightmares she wanted to add.

"Sleep like a baby. Just don't tell Mike or he'll have my balls on a silver platter." Eddie's voice sounded joking as if he didn't want the air to be so thick with tension.

"Okay…d-do you have it on you now?" she asked hesitantly hoping her voice was soft enough that she didn't have eavesdroppers.

"Nah, not on me but I have it at my place…if you want I can take you there…Or I can bring it tomorrow-" the older boy began but she cut him off with a quick nod when she heard Mike's voice coming down the hall complaining to Dustin about something to do with his bike.

"Today. I need it before tonight."

That's all Eddie needed to know before his hand was closing her closer and an arm dropped over her shoulders. "Aye Wheeler. Your lovely cousin needs some help with a project we're doing together so I'll be taking her to my place for a few hours. I'll drop her off by tonight no worries!"

"But-" the younger male began to protest but Nicole flashed him a smile and waved in his direction.

"Don't sweat it, Mike. It's just studying. You know how hard projects can be for me without my eyes." she kept her voice light and teasing.

"But!" Mike protested again but Eddie was already walking away with the pretty girl under his arm.

#eddie x reader #eddie munson #eddie stranger things #stranger things #angst

[fundielicious-simblr]

(Lana's POV)(I will put a general trigger warning for this post that it'll include brief mentions of abortions and miscarriages, as well as the typical fundie waffling on the sanctity of life - so read as you please)

As I mentioned earlier, the Dahlmann family put on a fundraising gala to benefit Windenburg's crisis pregnancy centres in celebration of Colton winning District 4's conservative seat. It was an honour to be invited to attend the gala alongside some of Parker's immediate and extended family, as well as some other people who are well known within conservative politics. This celebration was a good excuse to go shopping for a gown to wear for this event, and as someone who wants to be modest in how I dress, this was a great exercise in being able to adapt clothing to fit my standards. I found this wonderful green gown from this online boutique that caters to girls who are trying to dress modestly, I'll put more details on my simstagram in a post where I'll tag the brand.

Parker's parents were such a sight to see all glammed up! They travelled into Windenburg a day after us to visit with their kids and grandkids that live here. Allan said a wonderful prayer to open up the gala proceedings, as well as preaching a timely sermon on the sanctity of life and why we as Christians should be doing more to be saving the lives of the unborn all over the country. He gave a wonderful testimony of how his parents raised him and his 7 siblings to have a respect for human life, and how that led him and his wife Casandra to have 15 children (2 of those babies have gone on ahead to heaven) who have gone on to give them 26 grandchildren with 3 more on the way! Allan also commended Colton and Brittany for their continued efforts in fighting for the rights of Windenburg's unborn population. He reminds the crowd that Colton proposed to Brittany at the first pro-life charity event that they organised together, they're very much dedicated to this cause!

Colton and Brittany were so cute walking the red carper with their girls Nicole and Elisabeth! These girls have done so well during the campaign trail and have made me wish for kids as cute as them one day. The didn't stay for the whole event though, a girl from the Dahlmann's church offered to babysit the girls for the night so that Colton and Brittany could attend the event with Colton's brother and parents.

What a power couple! Meeting them made me realise that they've never let the power and fame get to their heads. Sitting and fellowshipping with them at home and at church has shown me that they truly have dedicated their lives to shining their light for the Lord in whatever way possible - and they've obviously been called to politics to help better their city one baby at a time.

All of Brittany's family were able to attend the event as well, it was nice being able to meet Parker's aunt, uncle, and other cousins. Brittany's father Branden Collins is Allan's younger brother, and is himself a well known published author that has published several Bible study guides, devotionals, and non-fiction work on the lives of christians of the past who have left their mark on society. His wife Lea diligently homeschooled their 3 children as well as poured her time and effort into cultivating a bountiful garden that has fed her children, grandchildren, as well as the relatives that still live in Newcrest. Brittany's twin sister Abbey lives with her husband Adam part time in Britechester and part time in Sulani, they both work as marine biologists and get to be immersed in the Lord's creation for a good chunk of the year - how wonderful! They showed us such wonderful pictures of the views from their house on one of the islands where they do all their conservation work. Tanner, the youngest of the siblings, is a doctor at Willowcreek General Hospital and is currently working as a General Practitioner, though one day hopes to focus his study into obstetrics to help women find the best way to bring new life onto this earth. He and his wife Tabitha have an adorable toddler son, and are about to give him a sibling soon in the next few months.

The Dahlmanns are family friends with the talented McConnell family and were able to have them perform at the gala. As someone who has loved their music since I was a little girl, being able to see them perform for such a great cause was such a blessing to my heart. My parents used to play their worship music around the house, and as we grew up our church would sponsor tickets for us to see them perform when their tour came to an area near us. The McConnell family is comprised of Nathaniel and Faith, and their four children Susanna, William, Naomi, and Elisabeth. They are such inspirations with their music that constantly reminds us to turn to the Lord and praise him in all we do.

Getting to meet and chat to Naomi, Susanna, and Elisabeth was such a delight! They are such humble servants of the Lord that you wouldn't believe them to be such great musicians who are internationally acclaimed for their gospel music work. It was definitely a fangirl moment for me getting Parker to take this picture, I've been following Naomi's fashion blog for years, it inspired me to make my own blog on how to help girls dress modestly on a budget. All three of the McConnell daughters are married and when they're not on tour they make the most of their time off to be great homemakers.

It was such a blessing that the Dahlmanns extended an invitation to my family so that they were able to attend, we're used to praying for events like this as a church, so to be able to attend was a once in a lifetime opportunity for my family.

I was finally able to meet Zoe's husband Francisco, as he cleared his schedule to be present for the evening, I was honoured to be able to thank him for his continued service to our country and the opportunity to pray for him and his colleagues as they put country ahead of themselves for the greater good. It was so great getting to have more time to socialise with Parker's siblings and their spouses, it was especially great to see Lorilee. I was so happy when she called me to tell me she was having a baby, it's something we used to dream about as young girls and now her dream is finally coming true!

Parker's 'city siblings' also came into town for the event, so it was an even greater opportunity to get to know Stacie and Maggie (and their husbands) some more. These girls have been such a great blessing to me and my life, their individual testimonies have enriched my life so much that I can only pray that we'll continue to be in each other's lives for a while. The next big family event is Harvestfest, I say big because this is the holiday where all 13 kids head back to Allan and Casandra's house (that they've lovingly nicknamed 'the big house'). I'm particularly excited as I'll finally be able to meet Parker's brother and his wife who are missionaries to Selvadorada, I've heard such wonderful stories from the other siblings who have been able to travel over there, so it'll be great to hear some stories first hand and get to know them some more.

#fundie sims #fundiesims #quiverfull sims #quiver full sims #collins family #sims 4 legacy #modest sims #homeschool sims #collins legacy #gen 2 #Allan and Casandra #Branden and Lea #gen 3 #Francisco and Zoe #Shane and Maggie #Reece and Stacie #Thomas and Amira #Parker and Lana #gen 4 #post #ANOTHER gala #These people love an excuse to dress up innit #Lana has died and gone to conservative heaven at this gala #her mother is patting herself on the back for her daughters ambitious nature getting them this far 😂 #i however had fun dressing everyone up #i hope you enjoy the way Branden and his family are posed because thats the same pose you’re gonna be seeing for every major family event #until i find another #did u also like my sim version of the collingsworth family

[havenofangelica]

♡ intro ♡

➽─────────────────────────────────────────────────❥

hey, i'm angelica. i was told that i should have some sort of outlet for my vents, so this blog will be just that. it will contain potentially triggering content, so if that bothers you, just ignore this entire thing and move on.

this is your warning.

here's a little bit about me. ♥ ➽─────────────────────────────────────────────────❥

General Information

Name: Angela

Age: 21

Gender: Female (AFAB)

Pronouns: She/Her

Personality: Quiet, Curious, Sad.

 ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ . ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ . ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧

Favorite Things

Favorite Color: Grey

Favorite Book: Alice in Wonderland

Favorite Song: Any song by Lycia or Nicole Dollanganger

Favorite Food: Angel Food Cake

 ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ . ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ . ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧

Interests

Hobbies: Singing, Writing, Journaling, Poetry

Aesthetic: Gloomy Coquette ???

Likes: Foggy days, Stuffed Animals, Nostalgia, Distractions, My boyfriend, Cozy things, Ghosts, Angels

Dislikes: Discrimination, Manipulation, My Childhood Being Taken Away From Me.

➽─────────────────────────────────────────❥

End.

➽─────────────────────────────────────────❥

#intro post #introduction #vent blog #im sorry #angel #grey #gloom

[gonehollywoodrp]

CONGRATULATIONS, CHERRY! your role of SANDRA BULLOCK has been accepted and we’re happy to welcome you to GONE HOLLYWOOD! now that your application has been accepted, here are a few things that you should do and we’re looking forward to seeing you on the dash!

send your account in within 24 hours.

follow everyone on the blog roll.

follow all the tracked tags.

make sure you’re following all the guidelines for your new role.

send us a message if you’d like a link to our OOC blog.

OOC:

name/alias: cherry

age: 27

time zone: est

pronouns: she/her

____________________________________

IC:

preferred celebrity: sandra bullock

backup celebrity: louisa jacobson

celebrities gender: female

celebrities pronouns: she/her

age & birthday: 58 (july 26th, 1964)

career: musician, actress

____________________________________

OTHER:

wanted connections: nicole kidman, matthew mcconaughey, melissa mccarthy

guidelines password: rfp.

do you want your celebrity included in the gossip blog?: rfp.

trigger warnings: rfp.

____________________________________

ANYTHING ELSE:

misc: no prior history! <3

#gonehollywoodaccepted #fame rp #celeb rp #hollywood rp #submission #celebrity rp #famous rp #plotless rp

[rk-ocs]

Consequences

---

Invader

There is someone coming into her house that shouldn't be.

She kind of expected this,mom had fought with uncle Aiden over this, when they met up to remember Jackson and mourn.

She didn't expect it to happen when she was home.

She puts on her gun glasses and earplugs.

Steady hands, she reminds herself, as she carefully sets up her gun.  She carefully checks it for obstructions, and ammunition. Once she has completed Reds safety checklist.  , she looks for a good position. Then she loads it.

Steady breathing. She reminds herself. Steady hands.

She has had a lot more practice then Red realizes. There is something southing about shooting at the targets. She's controlled, powerful. She wonders if it will be the same if Red takes her hunting.  She's nervous, and keeping her finger away from the trigger. No need to get twitchy.

He's coming near her spot now. Time to speak up.

Raising her voice, and trying to sound as adult like as she delivers her warning.

"Get the hell out of my house before I shoot you!"

He turns towards her, and she considered that maybe she should have just hid. Or quietly left the house while he robbed it.

But what if he was some kind of murder or kidnapper, who would hide and wait for her or mother?

Shit, what if he is?

"I mean it. Don't come any closer. " she warns.

He looks at her.

"Your not going to shoot me. But having you will be good leverage against Aiden. Possibly even better then Nicole". He gets out his gun.

" Put down your gun, and come with me, and no one will get hurt. "

Something in her freezes at the sight of a gun pointed at her.

"Did he load it?" She wildly wonders. "Or is he bluffing?" She's never been so scared in her life.

She doesn't wait to find out.

"When I shoot deer, I aim for the eyes. It keeps the fur in the best condition." She remembers Red saying once.

The head is a safe place to aim, and he is not wearing goggles.

She adjusts as he steps forward,  then she shoots.

It is a clean shot.

She has just killed someone.

She mechanically empties and cleans her gun, unable to process this properly.

"I am a murder", she realizes, somewhere between (emptying) his gun , and putting both in a safe place.

I just fucking killed someone. 

It dawns on her, that she can't be in this room anymore.

She goes to her room, and curls up on her bed, feeling numb.

She can't think. She can't feel. She's empty.

"I just killed someone. " She tells herself blankly, and waits for the world to start majoring sense again.

-----

Later, she's going to therapy, under a false ID.  They all are. Red is paying. Aiden asks where Red is getting the money, and occasionally accuses her of stealing. Red doesn't really deny it, but she does call Aiden a hypocrite for it.

Some days therapy does help. Other days are bad days.  Shes still not talking. Mom and Aiden are mad at Red for teaching her to shoot. Red says she can't undo it, but she can try to help things.

One day Red takes her on a walk.

"I remember you once said shooting a gun was soothing. It made you feel controlled and powerful. I don't know if you want to continue that, but I feel, you would still want to be able to defend yourself. "

She  looked up.  They were outside a Dojo.

"I should have taken you here in the first place. I thought it was just expensive at the time, but I have to remember, not everyone has trainers. The trainers I have, are probably expensive. And maybe this style will be more suited to you.  Karate. To teach you to defend. To build up muscle. There's a reason I started you on the H&R that I did, and that's because most others have recoil that would teach you bad habits. Would probably really mess up your aim. If Im guessing right, If this is something you feel you will enjoy, do you want to go try it out. "

Lena did like Karate. By the end of it, her  muscles were pleasantly sore, and She felt alert and energized.  Red copied down the times for practice, bought me a gii, a belt, and a years subscription.

"I made you an account. You can use it to pay for The subscription and other supplies, like a new gii one day. But I have to see that your putting work into this. I want to see your moves and your belts. No blowing it on drug money, alright , that's just wasteful. "

Lena rolled her eyes. Like she planned on getting into drugs.  When Red kept ranting how expensive they were. She certainly had a better track record at staying out of the hospital.

In some ways

#lena pearce #red jordan ryan #home invasion #murder #writing #shooting a gun #gun safety #original character #assassins creed #aiden pearce #nicole pearce #therapy #recovery

[sokoloffweinstein]

Florida Division Of Health

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#legal