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soyforramen · 1 day

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Apologies, my brain has latched onto a new fandom and just. Cannot process until I vomit this out. So buckle up babes, it's a long one. All apologies in advance.

Complete change of timelines where Madam Yu is the one to find Wei Wuxian, or rather her maids do. They're sent out to Yiling for like... cultivation things, night hunt, secret assassinations, or whatever. They find him very soon after his parents die, early enough that he's just barely on the streets for a few months. Jinzhu and Yinzhu hear about the death of a cultivator who trained under Baoshen Sanren and that her child was recently kicked out, such a shame, but who can feed any more mouths the winter after a bad harvest?

So Jinzhu slips out, finds the kid and they abscond back to Lotus Pier. As they show up they're like, wait out here kid, we've got work to do. And as he's waiting, Jiang Yanli comes up with tea for her mother and is like ??? And Wei Ying imprints on her the moment she gives him a few biscuits and tells him she makes him laugh. So when she goes into the room, Wei Ying follows her in and Jinzhu and Yinzhu are like.

Oh. Right. We found this kid and his mom is supposed to be that lady you really didn't like back in the day, what do you want us to do with him? And Madam Yu at first is like,

But then she sees how starry eyed he is over Jiang Yanli and Madame Yu has a light bulb moment of seeing him waiting for Jiang Yanli to tell him what to do and is like. Wait. And looks betwen Jinzhu and Yinzhu and is like. Wait.

She tells them she's going to adopt him and immediately goes and gets that done. When Jiang Fengmian finds out she tells him to go find his own orphan and just shuffles Wei Ying over to stay with Jinzhu and Yinzhu. (It's not like he's stopped her before, and it's not like he can now. Besides, she found him first. Don't you have a sect to run?)

So now Wei Wuxian is going to be raised alongside Jiang Yanli rather than Jiang Cheng. The twins start to train him and raise him, and eventually he tries calling Jinzhu Mom and Yinzhu Auntie in public and they're both like.

Don't call me that. We are not related. But inside they're all.

It doesn't help that he's quick to learn and sweet, and they're quick to praise him and correct him in an age appropriate way even though they're still really strict and seemingly cold to him. (Wei Wuxian had to get it from somewhere is all I'm saying.) But also they make sure he's fed and clothed and has proper training and an education.

It's constantly impressed upon him that Jiang Yanli is his sister and that he needs to protect her and she'll take care of him in return. Madam Yu especially does her best to make sure they bond, because if her daughter is to marry into Jinlintai, she's damn sure going to have more protection than just a coterie of maids and random Jiang disciples. Especially since it's becoming clear to everyone that there's something wrong with Jiang Yanli's overall health, and there's some chronic pain and fatigue that hits her every so often. So if she had someone who knew her best and could take care of her throughout her life...

Since Wei Wuxian is only five and Jiang Yanli is only a few years older than him it will be similar to how the Meishan Yu heirs are raised alongside their own bodyguards. (I have this image that the Meishan Yu Clan is like a snake, in that they move quietly and lurk in the shadows until they strike, which would also explain a lot as to why Madame Yu is called the Purple Spider.)

As he grows up, Wei Wuxian is still an absolute chaos demon, only this time the first time he tries pranking anyone and he's caught, the twins make him do twice the amount of training and subtly imply that the reason he's being punished is not the fact that he's being silly with harmless pranks, but the fact that he got caught at all.

So they train him in the Meishan Yu way, which is far more covert and focused on getting in quick and dealing with things, and in the Jiang swordplay, which is focused on speed and agility. Meaning he's good with a sword, much better than good, but he's not at the same level as he is in MDZS OG. But he's also got an extensive collection of daggers, stilettos, hidden talismans, and fighting dirty and shamelessly.

Jiang Cheng is jealous that Jiang Yanli now has another brother, and that Wei Ying is monopolizing Jiang Yanli, but both his father and his mother are focused on his training and education in becoming a sect leader, and Madam Yu isn't constantly comparing the two since they're not 'competing' against each other like she seemed to think in cannon. Instead when Jiang Cheng gets too frustrated about not figuring something out or is too hard on himself, Madam Yu throws Wei Wuxian at him to train with.

As they get a bit older, Wei Wuxian is like, but is jiejie learning all this? And Jinzhu has to tell him that no, she's got a small core, besides she has you. Wei Wuxian thinks that's stupid, and says so loudly, so he goes to teach her at least the basics so she can defend herself with hidden daggers, terrifying hair pins, and talismans at the very least.

It's at that point that they realize how adapt he is with talismans, so they make the decision to send both him and Jiang Yanli off to Meishan Yu for him to train with their masters. Jiang Yanli meanwhile is sent to her grandparents and aunts to learn more about political manipulation training, management of sects, trade, logistics, etc.

It's at this point that they get the invitation to Gusu, and Madam Yu insists both her kids go. Which also means Wei Wuxian, professional rule breaker, also goes along with them. During the day he's as perfect as Jinzhu and Yinzhu could ever dream, but he immediately breaks curfew the first night because a) Emperor's Smile, and b) jiejie's in pain again, and the medicines they were sent with weren't working right, and jiejie's dorm mate said that these herbs from Caiyi could help...

Anyways, Lan Wangji is totally able to win against Wei Wuxian in strength, and breaks one of his wine jars again, but since Wei Wuxian was always told to make sure to never get caught, at least this time he had a mask on. So technically Lan Wangji can't say for 100% certain who it was who broke curfew. (Discretion, always, might have been tattooed on his forehead by Yinzhu.)

But like. Lan Wangji is like. Bro. My man. Dude.

Thus beginning his utter fascination with Wei Wuxian because of course the Head of Discipline can't let any infraction go, cause denial (whomp whomp).

Wei Wuxian is thrilled to get such a response out of someone so poised and stoic, especially since he's never been able to do that with his mom or aunt or even Madam Yu. Jiang Yanli thinks it's absolutely hilarious, immediately pegging Wei Wuxian's interest as a crush, and when Wei Wuxian dismisses that, she has to be like

Sir. I know you. I helped raise you. This is a crush. So she's super encouraging that they spend time together, and shows her true colors as an instigator when it comes to her didi. But Wei Wuxian pushes back since they won't be there long enough to form any real long term attachments.

(Actual video of Wei Wuxian during this conversation)

Anyways, Gusu Arc is similar to last time, only Wei Wuxian isn't technically a student, but he does sit in on the classes and surpringly draws 0 attention to himself, making Lan Wangji's suspicion of him even more suspicious to Lan Xichen.

This time, Jin Zixuan isn't punched. Jiang Yanli gives him a cold bow and walks away, but that night Wei Wuxian definitely makes sure that Jin Zixuan knows that that wasn't cool, cause like. It's Jiang Yanli, she's the best why wouldn't you think that? Wtf sir, why would you say anything like that? And oops, look how sharp this dagger is, and oops my talisman slipped. Again.

Needless to say, the next day Jin Zixuan has a healthy respect for staying far away from Jiang Yanli or even thinking about her, and if he doesn't even look Wei Wuxian's way? Well, no surprise there.

MianMian is totally Wei Wuxian's BFF now, though, since she's never seen anyone be able to handle Jin Zixuan so well, and that includes his mother. Lan Wangji is, obviously, jealous, Jiang Yanli continues to instigate meetings between them, and the day of the Waterborne Abyss Wei Wuxian is finally like.

Oh. That's what Jiang Yanli meant about Lan Zhan. And Wei Wuxian is just like,

This leads to further shenanigans between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian to the point that even Lan Qiren is like. Lan Wangji, just ignore him. We have three weeks left, it's fine. But Lan Wangji is like, he gave me rabbits? But also broke 82 rules in less than 10 minutes? And also he's annoying? But why is he paying more attention to Luo Qingyang?

Anyways, they finally go home, Cloud Recess is attacked, and the Wens are like. Time for the worst summer camp ever! Jiang Yanli begs Wei Wuxian to go to the Wen Camp with Jiang Cheng to keep an eye on him. Wei Wuxian refuses until Jinzhu steps in and uses her mom voice, telling him in no uncertain terms he's going, and Jiang Yanli will be in Meishan, as far from the Wens as she can be right now.

Turtle Time! All of the disciples are essentially going:

the entire time they're there. The arc goes basically the same, only more Wangxian cuddling, teasing, and Wei Wuxian being a shameless flirt to Lan Wangji's horror.

Jinzhu and Yinzhu travel back with Jiang Cheng to save Lan Wangi and Wei Wuxian, and for the first time Jinzhu and Yinzhu show in public that the familial connection with Wei Wuxian goes both ways. The twins insist Lan Wangji stays until he's healed because they owe him a debt for saving Wei Wuxian, but mostly because they're nosy as shit about him. Wei Wuxian would not stop talking about him in his letters and when he returned, so they're like who is this?

Then they meet him, and are all. Ah. Fellow Introvert. Amazing.

We will still kill you if you do anything to our surrogate child/nephew.

Lan Wangji is like. Fair. But also what are you talking about I totally didn't write him a romantic song or anything.

Things tighten down all over the cultivation world after that, and Wei Wuxian is sent to Meishan Yu where Jiang Yanli is, and they miss out on the Lotus Pier attacks. When they get news of what happened, Jiang Yanli has to keep Wei Wuxian from immediately going back, since they both know that if Lotus Pier burned then their parents died defending it. A few days later, Jiang Cheng shows up, along with a badly hurt Jinzhu. Madame Yu forced Jinzhu to go with him since she knew Jiang Cheng would immediately be like. Nope, gonna go back to Lotus Pier to my death the minute Zidian released him.

Both of them are going through major surivor's guilt, but Jiang Cheng sneaks off to get his parent's bodies at the very least, and Jiang Yanli sends Wei Wuxian to chase him down. When they get there, Wen Ning finds them and shows them where the bodies have been moved to.

(Wei Wuxian sees his aunts body and has a major trauma moment, realizing that he's lost what basically amounted to his second mother, and almost lost his first. He decides he's not going to lose either Jinzhu or Jiang Yanli, and he'll do his best to keep Jiang Cheng around either.)

Basically it's the same progression, only this time Wei Wuxian's loyalty isn't to Jiang Cheng, but to Jiang Yanli, so he drags him back to Meishan. There, Jiang Yanli begs for something to be done to help her brother, but the healers are all at a loss.

Jinzhu, meanwhile, only wants to get revenge even though she's still really weak from the attack. All she wants to do is go on a suicidal mission to take out the Wens and Wei Wuxian is Not Having That. He refuses to let her go alone, and Jiang Yanli refuse to let Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng out of her sight. She knows Wei Wuxian would definitely sacrifice himself for Jinzhu, but he's her brother. They're far close than Jiang Cheng because they spent almost every waking moment together due to the circumstances, and by their own choice.

Jiang Yanli starts openly calling Jinzhu her aunt, putting her on the same level as her mother's sisters, and Wei Wuxian calls her mother in public, even though she fights it at first.

Eventually it becomes obvious that neither Jiang Cheng nor Jinzhu are getting better, so Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian decide to seek out Wen Qing, who had grown close to Jiang Yanli when they were at Gusu, and ask for her help. They come up with a plan where Wen Qing and Wen Ning are 'captured' by the remaining Jiang disciples, and brought back to Meishan.

There, Jiang Yanli finds out about Wen Qing's research into golden cores, and begs Wen Qing to transfer Jiang Yanli's to Jiang Cheng. After all, she's never been able to do anything to it due to her illness, and even as weak as it is it's still enough for him to cultivate.

Jinzhu is still trying to sneak out, and Wen Qing finally sits her down and tells her she still has a family, even though her sister and mistress are gone. The best thing Jinzhu can do now is to watch over Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli and her own child rather than trying to stay in the past. Jinzhu is not happy about this, but Wen Ning speaks up and says that since Jinzhu helped raise them, if Jinzhu left it would be like losing another parent all over again.

This, and Wen Qing's locking down of her core, make Jinzhu calm down and think long term rather than emotionally. Once Jiang Cheng, Jiang Yanli, and Jinzhu are healed enough, Wen Qing and Wen Ning are 'released' and go back to the Wens.

The Sunshot Campaign progresses in much the same way, only Jinzhu and Wei Wuxian work together to gather intelligence, while Jiang Yanli works closer with the sects in strategy and logistics behind the scenes. Jiang Cheng is still an angry butterball at this point, but Wei Wuxian isn't doing demonic cultivation, which creates problems, but they somehow manage to struggle through.

Jiang Yanli works to make sure the Dafan Wen get 'captured' very early in the campaign who have to look at the rest of the sects and be like. Y'all. They hate Wen Ruohan just as much as us. But also.

Free Healthcare.

In a war.

(NMJ is still against it, but he's overruled by literally everyone else.)

When Lan Wangji is away from the camp, Jiang Yanli and Jinzhu are both like, no, no moping Wei Wuxian. And they throw a bunch of paper at him and tell him to go do something useful. He ends up making new talismans that help with the war effort, and some that just make life easier, and hands them out to as many people as he can.

Once the Dafan Wen reach them, Wei Wuxian, once again, latches onto the orphaned A-Yuan. Jinzhu takes one look at them and immediately thinks,

and sets off to try and figure out how to adopt a grandchild. Lan Wangji is just thinking 'Yes. Perfect Husband Material' when he sees Wei Wuxian with A-Yuan.

Jiang Yanli has to be the one with the brain cell, pointing out to Wei Wuxian that he cannot adopt a child during a war. And especially not if he's still single. Seeing how Lan Wangji is looking at Wei Wuxian, Jiang Yanli seeks out Lan Xichen and tells him, this is what we're doing. Don't ask any questions. But your brother is going to marry my brother, so make sure neither of them die. Thanks.

Once they get close enough to Nightless City through the strength and power of Nie Mingjue's mustache and (insert epic war arc here), Jinzhu and Wei Wuxian sneak into Wen Ruohan's palace, and Lan Wangji invites himself along for Reasons.

When they share the logistics they've found out (time tables, the fact that Wen Ruohan is having health issues, the lack of cultivators within the walls of the city) with the rest of the war council, Wen Qing (invited there by Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng, specifically), points out to the rest of them that the medicine's Wen Ruohan takes are healthy in small doses but are also. Hella Poisonous.

And the rest of them are like, ok? Cool? But what does that have to do with us?

And Wen Qing just looks at them. You captured me, babes.

So Wen Qing 'escapes' back to Nightless city and because she looks absolutely awful (again, she knows what herbs and medicines to take to make her look tortured and miserable), and Wen Ruohan sees her and is like, my niece! You have returned to me, even though I no longer have your family to blackmail you! You do like me!

And she's like, yes, of course I do. I also brought the Jiang Sect Leader with me, and you could totally lock him up in the dungeons, or you could just. Let me keep him and experiment on him, that would be awesome?

And Wen Ruohan is like,

(Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng is the one sending information back to the Sunshot Campaign through lights in the window at night.)

Anyways, Wen Qing ends up being Wen Ruohan's doctor, again, while the fighting goes on outside, and rumors start to go around about one or three spies being inside Nightless City. Wen Qing says that they've got to rout the spies out or we'll lose this war.

Meanwhile, Meng Yao is just

Paranoia grows rampant as Jiang Cheng uses Wei Wuxian's talismans to make it seem like the spies' activities are increasing until Wen Ruohan only lets Wang Lingjiao and Wen Chao supervise and bring him his meals. So its a THING when he ends up bedbound with a poison that only Wen Qing can treat him for. And since Wang Lingjiao and Wen Chao were the only two who could have tampered with his food, and Wen Qing is above reproach being the prodigal son doctor (and the spying and the evidence of it was going on before she got there), Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao are executed.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch Sunshot Campaign:

Jin Zixuan is still being stupid about Jiang Yanli, and he lets the same woman take all the credit for Jiang Yanli's food, and he confronts her when she tells him that no, that's from me. And Jiang Yanli just bursts into angry stress tears - but no one other than her knows that - and Wei Wuxian snaps. Jiang Yanli takes him down before he can get to Jin Zixuan, though, quicker than anyone but Hanguang-Jun has been able to.

(Jinzhu pointed out all his weaknesses to Jiang Yanli long ago, and Jiang Yanli Does Not Hesitate.)

And everyone else is just looking at her like, wtf? Then Jiang Yanli proceeds to dress Lan Zixuan down and his only thought is

Nie Mingjue continues to be a bear of a warrior and wins skirmishes and takes out Wen Xu. At this point Jiang Guangshan is looking at it and being like, ah yes. I help. Here's two more cultivators. And generally continuing to be The Worst.

Jin Zixuan and his contingent of MianMian and other cultivators collectively roll their eyes.

But Nie Mingjue's story is a completely different story with grand, overarcing themes of brotherhood, trauma, war and glory, and family trauma, but that is not what we're on about today folks.

Flash back to Nightless City where Wen Ruohan is losing his shit and Wen Qing keeps on gaslighting him, because she is a chaos demon on the same level as Wei Wuxian when given a chance. Wen Ruohan decides he can only trust like, two people besides Wen Qing, and the rest of his sect is just waiting for him to show any weakness.

Wen Qing very gently tells him that he hasn't been sleeping well, that's why he's so paranoid, and makes him some very strong sleeping droughts. She warns him not to take too much all at once, though, because when taken in large doses it's deadly. Only he doesn't realize that not only does it have a strong depressants in it, it's also full of stimulants that don't let him fall asleep.

After only a few days, Wen Ruohan is hella hallucinating and it gets to the point where his liver just. Fucks off. and he dies brutally. And since he's executed all of his remaining line, Wen Qing is the next in line for sect leader.

Immediately her first decree is that the Wens are surrendering and she throws open the doors to Nightless City and orders the remaining Wen soldiers to stand down. Jiang Chang comes out and is like, can I go home now? And Wen Qing is like,

The Jin are still like, the Wen have to pay we lost sooo much to them, wah wah wah, but this time even Jin Zixuan is like Bro-Dad. Chill.And Jin Guangshan kind of has to since he isn't able to claim Jiggy's killing of Wen Ruohan this time around.

So everyone fucks off to rebuild their sects; Jiang Cheng works on his 'new' core; and Jiang Yanli works to rebuild the sect, forcing Wei Wuxian to do a lot of the work because she's tired, man.

Eventually, Lan Xichen gets tired of Lan Wangji moping about and sends him to Lotus Pier under the guise of intersect relations, along with a letter outlining a marriage proposal because at this point even Lan Qiren just wants to marry Lan Wangji off to put him out of his misery.

Side Story: Wei Wuxian absconds with the rest of the Dafan Wen who have all looked at Nightless City and been like, nah. I'm good. And Wen Qing is like. Same. Especially since

So the Wen are disbanded as a sect officially as a condition of surrenduring (and she didn't want to lead the remaining Wen soldiers, they super suck).

Instead she goes to Nie Mingjue, since the Nie's were the only sect who didn't have majorly damaged land during the war, and Nie Huaisang and her got on famously, and rolls up like, Yo. NMJ. I want to build a medical pavilion, and he's like. No.

And NHS is like. Bro. Please, let me handle this. Wen Qing here's a nice spot just outside our home, and here's some money to train medics and learn about our terrifying cultivation methods, thanks.

Side Story Time!

Wen Qing and Nie Mingjue end up in a hate/fuck relationship, playing a long game of chicken until they end up married. Wen Qing is able to cut back on the resentful energy of the Nie Cultivation methods through a combination of Wen medicine and Lan musical cultivation to extend his life in a 'You can't die yet, I need more funding,' sort of way, and Nie Mingjue agrees to her methods because 'I'm still suspicious of you."

Everyone else is like, please use better silencing talismans Sect Leader we are begging you.

Nie Huaisang is currently commissioning three seperate plays dedicated to Wen Qing Alone.

Back at the plotline: The Phoenix Mountain Hunt still goes on as planned; Wei Wuxian still throws a flower at Lan Wangji; only this time he spends the entire opening ceremony at Jiang Yanli's side, who is there more in an official pseudo-sect leader capacity rather than at Madam Jin's invitation.

Madam Jin is still like, My son's a dick, yes, but marraige maybe?

Wei Wuxian snarks at this underneath his breath, and Jinzhu discreetly stabs him with a hair pin and reminds him to behave. Jiang Yanli tells Madam Jin that the Jiang Sect is willing to honor the marriage if the Jin are since their sects are so close, but only on the condition that Jin Zixuan is the one wanting to enter the marriage. Otherwise, if he is still against it, they should dissolve the marriage since the Jiang's have already taken so much insult from him personally.

Before Madam Jin can protest too much, Jiang Yanli steers the conversation with the other sect leaders around them to matters of trade, adeptly putting to use the more intensive training of a sect she received at Meishan to use.

A few hours into the hunt, Wei Wuxian gets fidgety, and Jinzhu chases him off to check on Jiang Cheng to keep him out of trouble. On the way, he 'finds' Lan Wangji and at some point in their walk, Lan Wangji looks as if he wants to confess something, but they're interrupted by Jin Zixun's appearance, along with Su She and a few other reprobates.

Wei Wuxian manages to be polite enough, and waits until he and Lan Wangji are walking off to slip a few talismans Jin Zixun's way so he can't reasonably be blamed. Su She, ever the sycophant, still blames him, claiming that he saw Wei Wuxian do it. And Lan Wangji is like, I was right right next to Wei Ying and I saw nothing.

Jin Zixuan stumbles upon them, along with Jiang Yanli, presumably on a walk together, with Madam Jin and Jinzhu behind them. Jin Zixun whines about it to his cousin until Lan Wangji pushes him for proof of a talisman. Surely there would have been a paper or ashes or something left to prove that there was ever a talisman to begin with.

(Knowing full well Wei Wuxian has come up with a talisman that leaves no trace.)

When Jin Zixun turns to Jinzhu, thinking that surely one of Madam Yu's maids knows just what Wei Wuxian gets up to, she just turns to face him and stares, letting the numerous scars on her face scare him off of it.

As they return to the pavilion, they all have to watch as Jin Zixuan is awkward and weird around Jiang Yanli, and Wei Wuxian can't help but make faces about it. Jiang Yanli catches him and points out, to his utter embarassment, that he's worse around Lan Wangji, and since she's had to deal with it for the last ten years, he can deal with it for one hour.

That's more than enough to keep him quiet until the banquet that night, though it doesn't help to keep Lan Wangji from looking too smug about it.

#mdzs #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #i just...cannot get this idea out of my head #and like...i'm sure there's an au like this somewhere....my brain is just...do it #and i can't #so like #there's that #don't take this that seriously it's just supposed to be fun #also tumblr's gif search function is now awful? when did that happen?#is it finished? mostly #but considering i doubt anyone will read this here it is #go finish your outline brain we have a test this week

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