#next time my brain decides to yeet somewhere new

[apparentlyaswarmofbees]

The Obey Me Brothers and Undatables vs An Insect/Arachnid Loving MC

I find it amazing how many people find it disturbing that I just love some insects and arachnids (not more than birds but still, insects can be both cute and cool even when they manage to terrify me so I can't help but love them lmao).

It's so cool how insects are actually the most dominant species in the world even before humanity existed and will most likely still be even after humanity ceases to exist, of course some of them actualy spread disease and such but it's not all of them and the mosquitoes that do spread it are females and they are just sucking your blood to feed their babies and the males like flowers over your blood, I actually don't like all spiders but I love tarantulas with all my heart although I can't say the same for wasps, they are evil but they can be so cool I have so many mixed feelings and cockroaches can be so adorable specially the forest/wild ones, have you ever seen them eat fruits??? They are so cute! And don't even get me started on how a d o r a b l e beetles are-

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Lucifer vs Ladybug

Taking strolls in the Castle's garden when you are accompaning Lucifer in his work are very common.

Just taking a fresh breath of the Devildom's air in between breaks with you by his side powers him up like crazy.

Now that being said, he doesn't really appreciate losing your attention to a little, colorful, bug crawling on one of the flowers in said garden.

"Lucifer, look! It's a ladybug! It's so different from the human world!"

That is true, ladybugs in hell were brighter in color and had a toxin in their bodies that- Oh wait

"Don't touch it!" Lucifer grabbed your hand in realization "haven't you learned anything about bright colors in nature? The toxin in their bodies can melt your skin off!"

He really didn't expect your eyes to get even more shiny.

"Ladybugs in Devildom are both bright and dangerous??!! I'm so jealous!"

With that, he became both exasperated and more in love with you.

Does this have a relation to the fact that you love him and his brothers even thought they are demons?

He is definetelly giving you a brooch in the shape of a ladybug later

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Mammon vs Cockroach

If you think this man didn't scream like a plate being scratched with a fork when he saw a cockroach in your bedroom, you are wrong.

I mean, okay, he was on the floor and the thing just decided to crawl up to his head out of nowhere.

He jumped over the table so fast it probably has beaten a world record.

"Aw! It's a baby cockroach!"

It's true, it was very small compared to adult ones, but Mammon didn't care.

"STOP FAWNIN' OVER THOSE CREATURES FOR ONCE AND KILL IT ALREADY!!"

And of course instead of killing it you just raise your eyebrown at him while scooping the thing up with a paper.

And of course you needed to bring it really close to him just to watch him squirm before you decide throw it out of your bedroom's window.

He definetelly will ask you to wash your hands before comforting him even if you didn't even touch the cockroach directly.

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Leviathan vs Dragonfly

You cannot tell me dragonflies in Devildom are actually very few and actually have the size of a small dragon.

It all happened on the day you and Levi got lost in the forest searching for a raven that stole his just purchased phone charm of a game that he was currently addicted to.

Both of you were looking for a way out when you heard an extremelly loud buzzing noise from somewhere in the woods.

Of course both of you followed the sound because first, you just know that must be one big ass insect since it sounded almost like a helicopter and you had to see it, and second, Levi suddenly forgot all about the charm (and being lost) and started rambling about how 'it couldn't be! Is it really-!'

And that is how you guys found his new Henry.

A giant, navy blue, shiny dragonfly, that was currently eating the Raven you and Levi were searching for.

Let's just say Levi got his charm back and both of you got a free ride to the House of Lamentation.

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Satan vs Spiders

Where there are old books, there are spider webs, and where there are spider webs, there's at least a 50% chance there are spiders in there.

So you can say Satan was quite familiar with the eight legged creatures, although he never really paid them much attention.

That is until he found they were of your interest.

You will never see someone start to give spider names, treat them with courtesy and have small talks with them faster than with this man.

Getting a book from the House of Lamentation's library and there's a web in the way along with a resident spider? "Excuse me, I will have to disturb you a little, I hope you don't mind a bit of damage to your home"

He is reading and suddenly sees a spider dangling down from a web string right besides him? He is definetelly letting it land on his hand just so that he can show it to you.

One day he even choses to read a book in his berdoom that a tiny spider was standing on. The sight of the tiny thing crawling around the pages as he reads it and explains some things out loud is so precious to see.

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Asmodeus vs Scorpions

Of course, what would suit the Lust Demon better than his own patron?

That is until you teach him that there are more than just one type of scorpion, and there is one type that has really big claws and a thinner tail that are usually pretty big in size.

Why would learning that be a bad thing, you ask? Instead of stinging its food, it actually grabs it like a crab.

So yes, the day Asmo held one and didn't use his charms, it pinched him.

Needless to say, it was chaotic.

Leaving the fact he is never approaching those kinds of scorpions ever again, he coos a lot at you while you coo at the small scorpions.

If you tell him the fact that they are his patron just makes you love him more, he will be so happy he will be squealing for the next 5 minutes.

He has definetelly taken a few dozens, of pictures for you while holding one or more scorpions.

His followers in the devilgram were surprised at how even while holding that thing, Asmo still looked amazing.

Scorpions definetelly became sensation in Devildom after that.

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Beelzebub vs Flies

Again, nothing better than his own patron.

If he didn't have to swat them off his food that is.

He has definetelly eaten some accidently.

"Look! I managed to make it crawl up to my finger without scaring it!" you say.

"That is cool. But you should probably wash your hand." He replies.

He's right, wash your hands if you ever grab onto flies.

He finds it really cute that you like insects, and it makes him tingly on the inside when he remembers that his symbolic creature is an insect itself.

Don't hold back on asking him to change into his demon form more often, he is very happy to do it.

He starts paying more attention to insects and flies in general after he finds out how much you love them.

How big their are, their color, where he saw them, what were they doing, if they tasted good.

And then he proceeds to tell you all about it.

He is very cute.

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Belphegor vs Butterflies

It's not that he attracts butterflies, no. But he actually likes them, finds them cool even.

Did you know some butterflies disguise as another type butterfly because that type is actually not very tasty to eat so the animals stay away from them?

And how many of them have patterns on their wings that look a lot like Owls and again, it makes animals stay away from them?

And the whole symbolism of life, death and rebirth around them? And the fact that the larvae eating everything around them reminds him a lot of Beel?

Belphie definetelly likes butterflies and you cannot tell me otherwise.

So when he finds out you love insects? Oh he is definetelly taking you to the best butterfly watching spot either in the Devildom or the Human World.

It's specially cute when he falls asleep and one lands on his face.

He definetelly had a minor heart attack when he woke up to the sight its wings but he will never admit it.

Also definetelly grabs it and puts it on you instead.

It's counterproductive as you end up looking too cute for him to handle.

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Solomon vs Beetles

I mean beetle fights.

You thought you liked insects, just wait until you see this man cheering on a beetle like an excited kid.

Also finds it hilarious when one just yeets the other away.

And because now you are there to feed more into his love for beetles, one day he casts a spell on two of them to make them big enough to ride and just showed up outside your window like:

"No time to explain, get in the beetle"

Because of safety measures, no, you guys didn't have a giant beetle fight.

But you did ride them around the Devildom forest at 2am.

You thought it would be an insane ride with lots of adventures

But you guys just ended up star gazing while laying on them.

He forgot to turn them back to their original size and they scared a few of the residents of Devildom.

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Simeon vs Mantis

Warning: it's a big goreish

When you introduced the praying mantis specifically to Simeon, he was immediatelly in awe.

And then you proceeded to show him how they can have many shapes and forms, be it as leafs, tree branches, and others.

And he was so intrigued!

But then you gave him the more, specific details.

Like how they can feast on their prey while they are still alive.

And how it actually can attack small birds such as humming birds, eating their brain tissue through their eyes.

And how the females practice a cannibalism ritual, feasting on their partners after mating.

That's when his writer self came to light.

What I mean is, he was now both horrified and extremelly inspired.

Simeon can be scary sometimes.

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Diavolo vs Ants

If you can find ants in every nook and crany around the world, you cannot tell me you can't find them in hell.

If they are able to travel the sea just by being taken along with baggage on accident, they have definetelly come to hell the same way, specially black crazy ants.

So honestly, I wouldn't find it surprising that Diavolo would have at least one big colony of ants he takes care of.

But he didn't have it until you pointed out why ants were awesome to him.

"They don't eat the leafs, they are farmers and what they eat is the other tiny creatures that decompose the leafs" "they can go to extreme lenghts to find their food and they have a real good teamwork, often they don't eat right away but instead bring the food back to the colony to feed the young" "Some ants that live in tropical weather that rains a lot, such as the amazon, can swim! And they do it together in big, ant, nests!"

Needless to say, he was intrigued.

Such tiny creatures are able to eat other insects much bigger than them? And they love sweets?

They actually like their homes clean and throw their trash into the very corner of their enclosure? Their bite can actually hurt a lot even to creatures gigantic copared to their size such as humans??

He had his own personal colony the very next day.

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Barbatos vs Bees

This man definetelly has his own share of appreciation for bees even before you told him you like insects.

They are very good helpers in the garden, their honey can be used on a extremelly big variety of both food and health products along with their wax, and honestly, they're just so fuzzy and cute.

If you want to get a rare laugh or chuckle out of him, make bee movie references.

He will just stop in his tracks and cover his mouth as he tries not to laugh.

You could almost make him spit his drink if you do it while he is drinking something.

And you can't tell me this man can't make bee related puns with a straight face. It's unbeeliveable

Aight, imma head out

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(This was basically an insect/arachnid appreciation post and I have no regrets)

#Obey Me #Obey Me! #Obey Me! Shall We Date? #obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #obey me scenarios #Obey Me Lucifer #Obey Me Mammon #Obey Me Leviathan #Obey Me Satan #Obey Me Asmodeus #Obey Me Beelzebub #Obey Me Belphegor #Obey Me Solomon #Obey Me Simeon #Obey Me Diavolo #Obey Me Barbatos

[princeleyjeans]

The seggsy experience: The do breakdown.

(Oh god I can't stop giggling) Seggy time, dunno why my brain decided to spontainiously throw it up but as a writer, you know I had to do ANOTHER character dismantal and talk about how T an Mikers would get down and dirty. Last night, I was like "They can't do romantic, it's either gonna be violent and resentful or sappy with loads of crying cus they just can't get passed their shit", and then after that surprise Grace and Frankie season 7 release (only 4 half hour episodes but it'll keep me going till 2022...hopefully). ANYWAY, Soals "I need you to twirl a rock over my crotch to help me get hard for Robert otherwise he'll eat us out of house and home dealing with this dry spell" inspired me, and being the sort of writer who likes to 'expand' on things, of course, I had to bring you this: Dry spell eating, totally Michael's thing, he and Trevor are going slow in the bedroom department cus they wanna see if this can go somewhere so he's cramming the carbs cus M's too repressed to try a sex toy until literally, he is so deprived, his skin vibrates with 0 bone time energy, he just loads up on ice cream and bread and stores all that fat for winter cus its the only pleasure the guy gets until they agree they're both ready to get less than usual nasty. But when they do....in a non "Having my revenge thru my dick" sense, presumably, it is awkward and painful as all hell. Figuratively and literally. --- Picture...squirming, they've got the making out down but once pants come off, everything is new ground far as Michael's concerned and T's eagerness and expertise in the ways of the penis is frightening and obviously off-putting, like M NEEDS to know EVERYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING and T having the upper hand is setting off all sorts of red flags, meaning nobody gets their rocks off until someone agrees to go easy and the two of them call a truce on any funny business so they can both enjoy the evening. Of course, T fucks around (No pun intended) so Mike becomes a fussy bitch, they argue over whose catchin' and when M finally decides to try 'Being the woman' he constantly complains about pain and Trevor being too rough even when the guy is just lying there or isn't even touching him. Like M's ass up, face down and T's a good foot away and the guys like-- "I SAID FUCKIN' EASY!!!" cus he has no idea what this side of the sex scene is and he ain't willing to listen to his body and take a chill pill. inevitably, they either give up and settle for lame jerking (Which again, Michael is funny about cus he isn't used to doing it to 'another guy') or they fall into a bemused silent arrangement where Trev keeps his mouth zipped and M tries the suck an slide, suck him off and then slide onto that moist pole like a newbie at the Vanilla Unicorn. Falling off now and again, even yeeting the bed entirely at times. In the end, it's sorta cute, disgusting, and tense with annoyance so thick it gives Michaels's ass some competition. Basically, they fall into some sort of weird rhythm where they kinda get off but are still kinda mad at each other and afterwards just lay next there in twaty silence until one asks if their partner came and they huff something along the idea of "Yeah" but you never really know. Then they give each other apology jerks in the morning cus love

#trikey

[rosebloodcat]

Toonkind Storyline Idea

Not too long ago, I got an interesting idea for a DnD storyline thanks to some interesting spells I found in the Player’s Handbook. I’ve also been listening to the Toonkind DnD recordings as well. So, as one would expect, the two have been slowly melding together into (what I think) is a fun/interesting story that could be played.

The only awkward thing about it is that I’m not actually in the Toonkind Discord (I’ve got my eye out for the next invite link and I’m praying I’ll be online and aware enough to join in then), so I can’t really share the idea and see if anyone would be up for it. This awkwardness is only increased by the fact that a character I want to see/use for it is one that isn’t mine.

Because of that, this idea has just been festering in the back of my head for several days now and I just- Need to talk about it now.

Like, the fear of possible embarrassment is being replaced by the pure need to talk about this. It’ll probably just sit in my posts/notes forever and not get used, but I want to have it down and out there. (Keeping hopes/expectations low on that front.) I mean, what are the chances that, even if I At’d the players here on Tumblr, they would actually read through the idea? Or want to talk with me about it? Pretty low as far as I can tell.

So honestly, there’s nothing actually stopping me from just rambling into the aether about this. Might as well go for it.

Anyways, let’s get into the meat of this.

I’ll start off by telling people that I had been curious about spells to revive/bring back the dead because I was curious about how many there actually were. 

Unsurprisingly, I found four spells that involved reviving/bringing back the dead.

Surprisingly, though, only three of those spells were necromancy spells! (Revivify, Resurrection, and True Resurrection.)

The Fourth spell was called Reincarnate and was a transmutation spell used/learnable by Druids. (If you’re curious about it, you can check out the exact details here! https://www.dndbeyond.com/spells/reincarnate )

A quick summary of it goes like this: If someone has been dead for less than 10 days, you can touch them (or a piece of them) and create a new body for that person and call their soul to it. The spell causes their race/subrace to change, and the new one can be decided by the DM or via Dice Roll. All their abilities and memories stay the same, but their racial stats/abilities are exchanged for ones matching their new race/subrace.

And I thought, “What if this spell (or a variant of it) was used on a character that died in one of the Toonkind games?”

(Also, I realize I should mention this before continuing, Spoiler Warning for anyone who’s never listened to the Taffy Train Saga and the Coup De Blues games? This involves characters from those.)

I can’t think of too many toonkind characters who are actually Dead-Dead, but I do have one that I have a little bit of a soft spot for. One who was killed in the very same game he was introduced in.

Victor Tim, the (very dead) accountant for Dodo Studios.

(Who has been played by both @modmad and @snailcomicz and I’m not sure which of them he actually belongs to, so I guess he just goes to both for now. I know he was presented as a tool/not very liked character, but I just found him weirdly charming. I can’t explain it if I tried.)

Thus, the seed of an idea was planted in my brain.

What if Victor Tim was brought back from the dead by someone using a variation of this spell? Either as someone experimenting with magic or something. Heck, it could even be done with a machine instead of a spellcaster. (I’m not opposed to the “Illegal or at least Unethical Science” route for a villain. Seeing if they can expand the limit for how soon the spell can be used.)

I mean, considering the chaos brought by Dora Z Scale after the Taffy Train, would it really be so crazy to say that someone took advantage of it?

Someone could have noticed Dora robbing graveyards, seeing that the reports on it were few and far between, and decided to piggyback off her and snatch up remains in her wake. Get some free test subjects that didn’t need to sign waivers whilst everyone was focused on the Engineer and later Dora drama in the papers. Of course, they could have also been a bit more careful and waited until after Dora was captured/arrested before starting their experiments. To give more time for people to forget about them (if they had been spotted during that time) and let their focus be taken up by the former actress instead.

And it probably took a while before they got around to Vic, likely from how little they had of him due to Dora drinking a large portion of him. The Perp probably took their time refining their materials/process since they didn’t want to lose what little they had of him.

All things considered, the extra grave robber probably wasn’t noticed for a long time thanks to the sorting that needed to be done with Dora’s undead army. After figuring out who came from where and sending them back to their proper graves, I’m sure the police were very surprised to find that there were still a number of graves that remained empty.

That lovely little problem was probably kept buried to prevent the public from panicking/getting the police in even more trouble. Especially if The Engineer or Mrs. Tim found out that Vic’s remains were among those missing.

(Not to mention the field day the press would have about it. Like that one, very intrepid young reporter. The one with the dog, you know who.)

I’d say that Vic, when brought back, is still a toonkind but probably a different subrace. (Maybe a Frankenalie? Or a Warne? Unless Mod or Snail see this and think of something that would be more fun/interesting.)

He also probably has no idea what’s going on. Just that he’s pretty sure he’s supposed to be dead but somehow he’s not and he’s stuck somewhere he doesn’t recognize and are both his eyes facing forward? And “Oh no this is bad. I’m pretty sure there is a bad thing happening and I’m alone with no help, oh no, oh no, oh no.”

Because definitely not-okay, illegal/unethical experiments tend to mean the “Subjects” are basically captives/prisoners of the person responsible and need to either be rescued or find a way to escape.

Both routes could go in fun/interesting directions.

Cause, on one hand, there’s the possibility of getting the info out and having Engie pulling/being part of a rescue mission, or at least someone from the studio/Taffy Train may want to check it out. (I mean, who fakes being a dead guy? That’s weird enough that someone would want to look into it.)

On the other hand, there’s also the fun of Vic managing to bust out with the help of other victims in the same situation. Which could actually be a cool set of stories/games to be played. (I’d- I’d actually love to make a character to play that out if I’m being completely honest here. I may have one slowly being drafted out in my head as I type this.)

There’s also the potential hitch of Vic having to try and convince people/prove that he really is Victor Tim, the guy who was murdered by Dora Z Scale. Or that Vic’s note/message really was from him. Even more so if Vic’s talking to people who actually knew him before. (Powerful potential Angst and feels right there if they don’t believe him. Or it could be really funny, depending on how it’s played.)

There are also some fun shenanigans that could happen too. Mostly from Vic trying to figure out how his new race/abilities work. Like (if he was a warne)  accidentally using Expeditious Retreat and yeeting himself into a wall. Or (if he was a frankenalie) getting into a heated argument with an animal via Speak With Animals but not knowing it.

(“Uh, Vic?” “Wha- Oh! Sorry,  I was caught up talking with this guy-” “Vic, you’re talking to a dog.” “...Oh. Suddenly this makes a lot more sense.”)

But- yeah. That’s my idea for a potential storyline for Toonkind DnD, Victor Tim brought back from the dead but not as a Yupyaen and all the possible chaos that could entail. 

Honestly, I have more thoughts on the story, but it’s one of those things that would probably go better if I was able to talk with others about it.

This will probably sit in my posts for who knows how long and never actually get used/played, but I have said my piece now. Who knows, maybe I’ll use the initial idea in something and just remove Vic from the equation.

(... It would be cool if I actually got to use/play this in Toonkind though.)

#toonkind #toonkind dnd #victor tim #vic tim #rosie rambles #i mean #i'd actually really love to play this #especially if i got the chance to play with mod or snail #i really like the games they do #i'd love to be part of one

[brynfelan]

“I don’t mind” with kuzuhina if you’re up for it! 👀

👀 you know it’s kuzuhina brainrot hours up in here.

-non!despair AU because I’m already putting my boys through so much in WCN. Let’s just pretend that Junko got yeeted, or was never Ultimate Despair or something, because I’m too tired to come up with a plot reason as to why all that shit never happened. -in this specific version of no despair, hajime went through with the kamakura project, but his parents ended up finding out everything and threatened to completely ruin hope’s peak’s reputation by coming out with it publicly if they didn’t get their kid back (oddly enough, just after he’d gotten luck. Funny how that works out huh?) -it was haime’s choice to join the main course, mostly because he wanted to apologise to chiaki for disappearing for like two months. -tl;dr, hajime is still hajime just with a few random talents thrown in for good measure

Impossible thing 1: Hajime Hinata was an ex-Reserve Course student that had found himself as a second-year in the Main course.

Everybody was told that he would have joined in their first year, but that he got sick and needed to recover from surgery. While not technically a full lie, that certainly didn’t encompass the whole truth. Chiaki didn’t believe that was the end for a second, since she’d known him before. That afternoon had consisted of an incredibly awkward Hajime explaining that he maybe-sorta-kinda underwent some pretty drastic neurological surgery to artificially implant talent into him to act as the Ultimate Hope, but that his parents had stopped it before it went too far and that’s why he’d disappeared off the face of the Earth for two whole months. Whoops, sorry, I’ll never do it again, but hey now we’re classmates! Isn’t that great?

Fuyuhiko too wasn’t convinced by the story either, but he didn’t say anything at the time. Instead, he’d just made the most direct and nearly painful eye contact that Hajime had ever been on the receiving end of, just to let him know that he knew it was all bullshit.

Impossible thing 2: In the months that he’d been in the Main Course, he’d found himself becoming friends with just about everybody.

Hajime had fallen in line with his classmates surprisingly easily. Even with Fuyuhiko who was all rough edges and cursing. Actually, if he thought about it, besides Chiaki he probably got along with him the best. The two of them talked pretty often, even exchanging phone numbers and continuing to talk after classes were over. A few times, he’d gone out to the arcade with Fuyuhiko and the two of them had eaten their weight’s worth in sweets (a story he was absolutely not allowed to tell anybody else, on pain of death via Yakuza).

Outside of his friendship with Fuyuhiko, he’d become the de-facto counsellor of the class. It made sense, he was pretty sure that Ultimate Counsellor was a talent he had, but he hadn’t expected it to come up so often. Nearly everybody came to him with their problems, and he helped them figure out the right answer. He never told them what to do, just asked questions that led to an agreeable outcome. Which is pretty much what a counsellor does, so he’d taken the role in stride.

Impossible thing 3: He had the biggest, most terrifying crush on Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu.

Okay, maybe that one wasn’t necessarily impossible, but it had certainly taken a few gaming sessions with Chiaki to work through. He came to realise it whilst making plans with Fuyuhiko in class, and Kazuichi had butted his head in to ask them about their “date”. Both him and Fuyuhiko had turned cherry-red, the latter spluttering out that it “wasn’t any of your fucking business, Soda” – cut to approximately three days of him having a crisis in the general direction of Chiaki while she played a new video game and talked it out with him.

After that, he’d promptly decided to die with his feelings lest he completely ruin that friendship and have to deal with it for another year in the same class as Fuyuhiko. If that happened, he would be getting a one-way ticket back into the neurologist’s office and actually getting all of his personality and memories removed, even if it had to be done via a spoon and some willpower.

Impossible thing 4: Actually, that had been a date, and now he had to go through the process of meeting Fuyuhiko’s sister in order to get “approved”.

He was sure that had at least half-been a joke, but it had hit him like a ton of bricks nonetheless. Hadn’t Natsumi been in his class in the reserve course? That was a lot to unpack, and he definitely had to put all his cards on the table. He felt bad lying anyway, but he was absolutely-100%-no-shadow-of-a-doubt sure that Natsumi wouldn’t put up with a single ounce of his shit if he tried to lie his way out of it. Which, incidentally, is how he found himself in an empty classroom with Fuyuhiko at lunch, after saying he had something important to tell him.

There was no good way to go about this. If it had been awkward with Chiaki, it was going to be a thousand times more awkward with Fuyuhiko. There was no way he could just say “hey, by the way, while I didn’t technically lie about recovering from surgery, I wasn’t sick at all! In fact, this academy was doing some crazy experiments on my brain, and now I have talent to boot!”, so instead he was stuttering and trying to find the correct words to say.

“I, uh, haven’t told you the whole truth about why I’m here. Like, at Hope’s Peak, not in this classroom,” Hajime felt himself getting red in the face, “Obviously. You know how they said I was recovering from surgery?”

“That bullshit story? C’mon, I don’t care why you’re here, I’m just glad that you are. Finally got the class to stop breathing down my neck about why me and Peko aren’t dating.”

So far so not-terrible.

“Well uh, yeah. It wasn’t all bullshit. I was recovering from surgery,” The redness in his face was definitely getting worse, “N-not that I’m sick or anything! It’s just that I was a Reserve student last year, and I got offered a place in the Main Course if I’d let them implant talent inside my brain. Didn’t quite go all the way with it, my parents were pretty mad when they found out everything about the project, but I ended up with a couple talents so the school let me join anyway.”

Hajime hadn’t thought silence could be deafening until then. Fuyuhiko was just looking at him, somewhere between horrified and disgusted. It was hard to tell which. Alarm bells in his head were screaming ABORT, MISSION FAILURE, TIME TO MOVE OUT OF THE PREFECTURE AND START A NEW LIFE AS FAR AWAY FROM HERE AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE.

“Wait, so you’re saying that you’re not an Ultimate?”

“Not organically, no. I wanted to tell you since we were gonna hang out with Natsumi later, and she was in my class in the Reserve course. Wanted you to hear it from me rather than her, y’know? I don’t like lying, and I feel like I have been. So, yeah. That’s the important thing,” Hajime willed the ground to swallow him whole. It didn’t.

Impossible thing 5: That conversation actually turned out alright.

“Y’know I don’t mind, right?” Hajime’s brain completely stopped for a moment at that, before rebooting to listen to what came next, “Natsumi told me about a Hajime in her class. Description and everything. Did some digging, found out that you were the same guy. Didn’t wanna mention it in case it was a sore subject. I’m glad you told me though, don’t you fuckin’ dare try and keep a secret this big from me in the future, alright?”

The response he came up with was little more than “I-yeah-okay. Promise.”

Fuyuhiko nodded at him then grinned, “Now don’t go making me worry about you like that again. Got it? I thought you were gonna tell me that you were actually fuckin’ sick. Unless being a dumbass is a disease, in which case I think it’s terminal.”

#brainrot #2am kuzuhina brainrot #in its purest form #ie #me completely going off for about a thousand words #drabble

[sunmaylight]

TGCF Book 3 Reaction pt.3 - Wind Master’s Self-Designated Quest & The Events that Happen After

I am back again with reactions & comments for when I read book 3. 

This is honestly fun for me because I can look back at what I read and remember my first reaction to everything. I can also see how things connect to make up each arc by going back and reading them. 

I really want to start book 4, but completing this first so I compose myself and not be a mess of emotions reading it. Cause, any book that is mainly about Xie Lian’s past is bound to be filled with angst and possible tears for the guy.

Ch 102: The Love for All Seasons Stew, the stew Xie Lian made and Shi Qingxuan is enthusiastically wanting to try some, shares with Ming Yi. Hua Cheng eats it like nothing and gives Xie Lian feedback

- Me: Ah, RIP Shi Qingxuan and Ming Yi. It was nice knowing you two.

Start of the Venerable of Empty Words

Ch 103: The stew knocks out Ming Yi and sends Shi Qingxuan to tears. Then Shi Qingxuan hallucinates

- Me: You know, by this point Xie Lian should have his own warning label to prevent this from happening in the future. What if he made something for Jun Wu and kills him with his cooking? Actually, that sounds pretty funny. This just in: Heavenly Emperor Jun Wu defeated by a plate of questionable food made by his favorite Heavenly Official, Xie Lian.

103: Shi Qingxuan tells a horror story. Xie Lian feels a cold breeze and discovers it’s made by SQX.

- Ah, I think I’m understanding more that Heavenly Officials are really eccentric. Especially the upper court.

Xie Lian casually mentioning he has encountered a Venerable of Empty Words in the past and how that ghost left him after staying with the fallen god for almost a year.

- Me: *sobs* Xie Lian. 

Wind Master talking about his past before ascension and then post ascension

- Me: Okay, but did you actually ascend?

Learns about Heavenly Calamities

- Me: Well, that will surely be relevant in the future.

105: Investigating for the Ghost. Learns that from a tampered list that Hua Cheng killed vengeful, malevolent tyrants

- Me: Hua Cheng, who else have you killed? How the fu-dge is it that you are more productive than Heavenly Officials in making sure nothing bad happens?

As the group was going to leave, Xie Lian remembers the kids (& Qi Rong). 

Hua Cheng: I have already called a babysitter. Don’t worry about a thing Gege.

106: The group was teleported to the wrong place.

- Me: Well, aren’t things starting out just lovely.

Hua Cheng changed clothes and Xie Lian Noticed. 

Hua Cheng & Xie Lian exchange verbal communication passwords. Hua Cheng’s password has Xie Lian blushing.

- Me: WHAT IS IT?

Xie Lian’s password: “Just recite the Ethics Sutra a thousand times.”

- Me: ...Is that a joke? Xie Lian, if they actually had to recite that, it’s like saying you don’t want people to talk to you.

Xie Lian’s password is revealed to be just that phrase. He set it up as a joke

- Me: goddamnit. I have been bamboozled. 

Learning about the legend of the Potential Scholar He, who was mad smart but got a lot of people wanting to crush him out of jealousy. He died after getting his revenge against those who were gatekeeping him.

- Me: HI! WHERE IS THE SHRINE FOR THIS GUY. I NEED A SHRINE TO WORSHIP SCHOLAR HE AS WELL AS A CERTAIN DIANXIA AND HUA CHENGZU

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng now have to play Mafia in a four man group.

Ch 108: A game to sniff out the Word Ghost. The game reminds me of the Japanese Game, King’s Game.

- Me: Is there a Chinese equivalent to the King’s Game?

SQX -’king’- Xie Lian and Hua Cheng have to strip each other. Just one layer

- Me: If this was me to my crush, I would be weirded out to do this in front of my friends. Unless if I was drunk

SQX to Hua Cheng (from the book): “What’s the worse suffering in the world?”

Hua Cheng: “To watch with your own eyes your beloved be trampled and ridiculed, yet unable to do anything. That’s the worse suffering in the world.”

- Me: (ToT) Hua Cheng. I got to mark this down. Hua Cheng’s beloved and him need their happy ending.

Ming Yi to Xie Lian: “What’s the biggest regret of your life?”

Xie Lian: “My Second Ascension.”

- Me: !!! Xie Lian, what the F*CK happened during the shortest ascension recorded in Heaven?

Ch 109: Hua Cheng lends Xie Lian a ‘bit’ of spiritual power. Xie Lian does a palm thrust and blows off the roof of the temple.

- Xie Lian & Me: ...Hua Cheng, that’s a little bit?

Hua Cheng: Was that not enough? I can lend you more.

Ch 110: Hua Cheng puts on a mini fashion show to Xie Lian in the middle of something important. 

Xie Lian: *focus is pulled away to stare at Hua Cheng*

- Me: Okay. Cute, but please focus. There is a time and place for everything. Now is not the time!

Water Master is suppose to prepare for the third Heavenly Calamity. SQX is kidnapped

- Me: What if this is the third calamity? Having to save SQX from the Venerable of Empty Words?

Xie Lian wants to do a soul-shifting spell, but Hua Cheng is stopping him.

- Me: Hm, does Hua Cheng know something? That is suspicious.

Ch 111: Venerable of Empty Words says: “Don’t worry, with your eyes wide open, you will watch the person coming to seek you die before you!”

- Me: *Thinks of Hua Cheng for Xie Lian* Shit, it got to Xie Lian. I really hope this doesn’t happen in the future. Cause, it’s not like Hua Cheng can die by conventional means since his ashes are ***** - Safe

Wind Master is revealed to be wearing a lot of treasures and gems on their person

- Me: Why is Wind Master wearing all of that?

Soul-Shifting spell ends, Xie Lian hears Hua Cheng’s voice

- Oh shit. I think Hua Cheng is mad.

SQX: “This is the Terrace of Cascading Wine. It’s where I ascended”

- Me: Wait, SQX is one of the Four Famous Tales? The odd one that is like Qi Rong that is about a guy who ascended for just pouring wine?

Learns that Xie Lian was actually sleeping when he ascended.

- Which ascension did that happen at?

SQX is in hysteria after Shi Wudu grabs him. SQX was acting suspicious before then SWD arrived.

- Me: Wow, what happened to SQX? D-did he actually fail his Heavenly Calamity and this is part of the punishment? Do Heavenly Officials get an advance notice that they have a Heavenly Calamity they have to face? Or is he behaving like this because of the removal of all of those artifacts and jewels?

-----

Ch 113: Hua Cheng sent a step-litter, a step-litter that is very extravagant, to Xie Lian. Hua Cheng is giving Xie Lian a fancy carriage ride towards somewhere.

- Me: Wow. What an obvious sign that Hua Cheng has deep feelings for Xie Lian 

The whole Step-Litter Scene of Ghost calling Xie Lian Hua Cheng’s ‘lady’ while he was in the Step-Litter and everything after until they drop Xie Lian off at Puqi Shrine

- Me: THIS NEEDS TO BE ANIMATED

Xie Lian’s new banner: “Return Babes through Miraculous Hands”

- No words

Hua Cheng helping Xie Lian do a task of working in the field. There is an indescribable tension that has been created through Xie Lian’s dense brain

- Me: Man, you can slice the tension with a sword and they still wouldn’t realize anything.

Xie Lian has a mysterious donor who filled his donation box with gold bars. He decides to return them

- Me: Yes, good for you Xie Lian. You do you.

The Drama between the Wind and Water Masters

- Me: You know, there is someone on YouTube who animated this part. I can now only visualize that while reading through my notes.

Earth Master forged his shovel to be his spiritual device. Ming Yi, Shi Qingxuan and Xie Lian travel through the tunnels dug by the Earth Master’s Shovel under Heaven

- Me: Wait, does this mean technically anything can be made into a spiritual device?

SQX can’t access his spiritual powers

- Me: shit. Did he actually fail a Heavenly Trial against Reverend of Empty Words?

The three are forced to dig and end up at Quan Yizhen’s palace with Pei Ming behind them

Pei Ming: QYZ, help me out and capture them

QYZ: *sees Xie Lian and remembers what he did for him during the Lantern Festival* - Grabs bed and throws it at Pei Ming- YEET!

Xie Lian tosses dice and the three end up at Puqi Shrine again. Xie Lian is greeted to the sight of a shirtless Hua Cheng finishing up some labour work with using E-Ming.

- Me: Is this going to be Xie Lian’s gay awakening? Will he finally acknowledge he has feelings for Hua Cheng?

Xie Lian immediately calms down and gets back into action

- Me: dang it!

The group, now with Hua Cheng, teleports to the Rain Master’s land. They exchange what they know and Xie Lian is drawing a very terrifying conclusion.

- Me: So, if there was a chart of the four famous tales compared to the four great calamities based on comparing their authenticity of tales

- Xie Lian    Hua Cheng       (They have to match somewhat)

- Princess who slit her throat         White No-Face      (Both have very little knowledge and seem very much bamf)

- General who broke his sword       Black Water       (Just vibes based on their names)

- Shi Qingxuan         Qi Rong     (Don’t really match the others, but are famous enough to get on the list)

Xie Lian connects the dots on Scholar He's name

- is that even possible?

Pei Ming arrives and then the group moves to Shi Wudu’s Heavenly Trial ground cause mortals are in danger. Their mission is to help the mortals and not get in the way of Water Master. 

Hua Cheng changes into a fisherman outfit

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng share a tender moment with a steam bun. General Pei watches them

- Me: Oh? Pei Ming, what did you notice? Did you notice the potential ship between the two of them?

118: The ship somehow wandered into the Ship-Sinking Black Water’s territory.

- Me: Oh no. The drama.

--------

Alright, here seems good. The next part will be the Wind & Water Master Arc pt 2 (?). At least I think so since the Wind part was discovered and now it’s the Water part that’s next. 

You know, I really wanted to comment on a bunch of other stuff. Especially the Hualian moments, but decided against it cause there are some things that should be read

#sunmay rambles #sunmay reads tgcf #sunmay reads tian guan cifu #sunmay reads heaven official's blessing #sunmay reads hob #tgcf #hob #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #hob spoiler #tgcf spoiler #book 3 spoilers #halfway through the wind and water master arc

[anestheticrage]

Be me: Japanese honor student🎓, 15, with half a brain and even less of a plan. Hunting bitches by day and witches by night. Livin that dank only child✌️ life while mom n dad yeet all over the globe, leavin me plenty of time to forget not to make 2 lunches for myself #quirky 😜

no time for socialization or basic electronics skills ???📱??? when your best friends are an alien demon rabbit🐰👽 and the inexplicable Hole ™ in your brain. lmao, btw did i mention im ✨M✨A✨G✨I✨C✨A✨L✨

dreamin bout my 2D waifus again when familiar pink haired cancer patient dances through my brain passin out fliers: Kamihama Meguca Dating Service: Sponsored by Cult of the Magius. 250 stones per session 🤔

seems legit, Mr. Moneybags. wasn't spending my unwieldy sack of gemstones on anything else anyway. lets pull 💎💎💎

first up we have Redhead Radagast and her plethora of plants. 🌿☺️🦎

anndd, nearly dies immediately. 

well not off to a great start but i guess shes pretty cute at lea- oh FUCK its her girlfriend, Tsundere Poseidon😒🔱💦, and their exasperated, straight and single Sword Mom 😔🗡️🔥. fml gonna have to save up for the next pull. might as well play a few rounds with what i got tho. 

get in some good girl talk about things like school, color coded hair styles, body count, permanent soul damage, and our personal demon pacts. ya know, the usual 😚 . realize my dark backstory seems to be missing, so the girls take me to Ketchup Queen Sappho 🍅🥧 (wtf?) to molest my glowy egg stone. whatevs, more action than ive had since Kuroe 🖤 got added to the story anyway

the gang agrees it's time to hunt down the cutest rabbit pimp 🕶️🐇💵 in the city. >> say 🎵mukyuuu🎵 one more time and ill hug you so hard my backstory will pop right out, you adorable fluffy bastard. plz be my new best friend 💕

Form brand new friendship pact with Kyubae, and remember that my lil Sis 🐥 was always the best wingman for pickin up magic chicks, and kept her side of the room so spotless i forgot she existed. whoops 乁༼☯‿☯✿༽ㄏ Maybe if I find her i can stop paying these exorbitant pull fees.📵💎

speaking of which: hot damn this week's featured bachelorette is a 19 year old model and magical detective🔎 with massive levels of PTSD and self loathing 🥵💙💦 more likely to stab you or dramatically jump off a rooftoop than utter a single positive comment. wow, maybe i really COULD find true love…

... if i had MORE THAN A 1% FUCKING DRAW CHANCE. 😡 smh

hard to make much progress finding sis or winning the broken heart of a hard boiled detective amidst the never ending lover's quarrel of the Trident Vine Lesbians. 💔 Sword Mom tells them if they don't behave a monster will take them away. LOL classic mom 🤣

>>>HOLY FUCK IT DID

declare all-out war on urban legends, starting with staircases ⚔️ to reunite the dysfunctional trio, and hope that I net a way better lineup with the next 10x pull. at least sad sleuth lady came to help out. they say combat is the best way to bond wi-   and there she goes off the rooftop again 🙄 fml

alright that got way off track, we need a fresh start, away from all the loli drama. how bout a little B&E🔓🔨🤷🏻‍♀️ at the local house of worship to clear my head. ahh nothing like the unanswered prayers of the masses to get you in the mood for another wasted pull, and the 🔥 MIGHTIEST 🔥 headache you could ask for with a side of Double Cooked Pork 🐖🍜 (meh 5/10🧾)

venture forth into the spiritual unknown with your new human flamethrower🔥🌻🧡 and ask your favorite private eye to please, for the love of Eve, trade Meguca accounts with me~~~ Head through the eastern spirit portal to meet up with hologram propaganda sis and detective crush's evil ex, who joined a dating-app cult (#fuck) and also turned into the moon?🌕?(that's rough buddy)

get ambushed by Acid Horse on Wheels 🌈🐴 and vomit up my soul so hard that its time for a crossover episode. T U R F F F   W A R R R *que operatic harmonies* 💛 Blondie with the hair drills and enough attitude and guns to fill up a noble phantasm tries to ban my account permanently, but PI heartthrob denies her admin privileges. aww babe i didn't know you cared. 😭♥️

get kidnapped by my new true love and go back to her place 😏  defs enough empty rooms to house five emotionally traumatized girls and at least two ghosts hehehe👻 XD 💚🃏💜🎸 decide to form the anti-gossip brigade and recruit my blazing sunflower after getting ambushed by the witch living in my fruit loops🥣

❌outvoted 2:1 that cults are bad. mf. fiinneee one last pull to round out the team and then I'll delete the app. cmonnn Karin 🎃~

OH HELL YEAH TWO FOR ONE.

Always wanted a daughter 💜🔨🐄 with a penchant for pissing off the local Martial Arts & Books Club and drinking suspicious liquids offered by total strangers. Well if it's good enough for her AND the sexy mayadere with enough game to seduce a mermaid, might as well get in on that myself. 

#curseddrank 🤢 0/24 would not recommend to a friend, 'cept maybe Ria

win alot of cash 🤑, blow up a fountain, meet the pied piper²🎶🖕, moon cult, monochrome feathers, something about liberation✊🏻; adopt temper tantrum cow girl. aces 💜🥩

Next up!!! skydiving with DJ Hammer! Jump to apparently-not-certain death after suicidal A.I. 💚💾🗼 tells you to rescue her hostage before they run out of Radiohead albums and have to move on to Thom Yorke's solo discography. save the invisible shield kitten 💚👑😿 from happiness and get chased through the internet by the sexiest homicidal Paint Pallette 💚🎨😈 since Caravaggio. (apparently green is the color of the digital apocalypse. i’m deleting Kako from my friend's list)

that’s it, fuck this app. 250 stones 💎 per-life-threatening-experience is more than i’m willing to deal with 😓 don’t wanna mess with the perfect nuclear family anyway. we've already got: 

✔️the two emotionally traumatized moms with memory and commitment issues

✔️the adhd daughter with anger management problems and a giant hammer

✔️the psychologically abused scizophrenic cat

✔️and the eccentric aunt with crippling anxiety

#squadgoals

now that were done hoarding bitches, its time to hunt the witches. and the bitches makin the witches. btw did i mention the witches ARE the bitches! AND WERE ALL GOING TO DIE!? 📽️⁉️💀 wait fuck lets back up a second

This is Nemo📕 and Token🧪 and they have all the answers but prefer if you only ask vague questions in exchange for vague responses so they can fill in the rest by discussing their superior intellect 🧠 at length. not to mention they built that dating app, so of course everyone in my harem decides to be a FUCKING. TRAITOR.🤬

cept waifu prime ofc 🥰💙. [PTSD > brainwashing] 'yOu CaN bE tHe LeAdEr NoW'. i have been from the very beginning you traumatized Hinedere nightmare. maybe if you weren't so caught up collecting surrogate daughters you would've noticed IM👏THE👏ONLY👏 ONE👏PROGRESSING👏THE FUCKING👏PLOT✨

rescue the rest of dysfunctional found-family™ from selves before my adorable firebender burns down Disnihama🎡🔥😱 during her weekly anxiety attack. (love the makeover T B H) 

CHAPTER 8: Magical Girl Massacre🩸🗡️

   - everyone has like, the shittiest day ever

   - the new Pope really needs to be extradited from the church

   - make friends with a really pretty tree 🌺🌲✨

i swear, if i don't finish this god damn story in time to get that free pull im gonna beat the shit out of every mirror i find in that giant mansion that i haven't even had any time to even mention yet. 🖕🏚️ let alone EVERYTHING happening with the prequel [fuck you, I'm the star] girls 💗💜💙💛❤️️ and their multidimensional melodrama. We don't need that many repetitive af episodes to emphasize that Homo-ra is a shitty person. we've all seen Rebellion. 🙄

NO, I DONT CARE IF YOU WANT SAPPHO'S BACKSTORY, I ONLY HAVE 79 STONES LEFT AND IF YACHAN FINDS OUT I HAVEN'T DELETED THE APP YET IM GONNA HAVE TO GO SLEEP IN WITH SANA 😭💎💸😠

uhhhggggg where were we… Topple a cult and burn down Hotel Denoument only to realize that Sis was fused with the dating app servers this entire madokafuckin time (told ya she was the best wingman 😊). 

Dilemma: Sis =🥚, Triumvirate of Trouble want 🐣. What do? vote now:

Help Hatch - IIIIIII

Not Do That - IIIII

What The Actual Fuck Is Going On - IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Lets just fight everyone until something good happens.

🔥🔫🔥🗡️🔥😱🔥🌆🔥😱🔥🛡️🔥💣🔥

Kill (???) the artist-in-chief of the italian reindeer murder police after teaching her the true meaning of Christmas 🎄 hatch 🐣lil Sis and realize she WAS your wingman all along🐰 MUKYUUUU! we're just gonna ignore how much trouble it would have saved if you'd just mentioned that. "yOu DiDnT aSk..." 

FUCK YOU SPACE BITCH. ONCE AN INCUBATOR ALWAYS AN INCUBATOR 🖕🐇🔪

anywho, somewhere along the lines we of course summoned the Antichrist ⚙️ because why not raise the stakes to max and still not kill off a single character. Madofuckinkami, can we PLEASE wrap this up. 😩💤

feathers (not the culty kind, tfm) rain from the sky, and the power of friendship and not having the Urobutcher 🔪🩸as a lead writer saves our peacefully sectioned off alternate reality 😇

TL:DR fuck cults, real life waifus DO exist, don't sell your soul to space rabbits, or your stones to megacorporations. Enjoy arc 2 on the JP server with your shitty translation patch you filthy fuckin weebs 

Yours Truly, 

- Thirsty Weeb Eroha 💗💎😘 

#magia record #magireco #pmmm #iroha tamaki #magical girls #puella magi madoka magica #magia record anime #gen urobuchi #waifus #weebs #thirsty weeb iroha #shitpost #yachiyo nanami #mitama yakumo #kaede akino #rena minami #momoko togame #sana futaba #tsuruno yui #aniplex #magia record na #i love this game so much #and im devastated that the servers are closing #yes this is how i deal with emotions #gatcha #fuck aniplex #i hope this brings a few laughs to some of you #Tsuruno is best girl #<3

[starlightinhumanform]

Midas

Fandom: Sanders Sides 

Ship: Romantic Loceit, Background Platonic Logincality

Summary: Greek myth tells of King Midas who could turn anything he touched to gold. Damian hates New Years but when his friends drag him to a party, he meets a man makes everything around him just a little better.

Warnings (in order of strength): A lot of drinking/alcohol mentions/partying (none underage), Mild language throughout, (please tell me if anything needs to be added)

Genre: Fluff, Mild Angst with a happy ending, Human (college) AU 

A/N: Deceit’s name is Damian in this fic :) ALSO I know there’s quite a few younger kids in this fandom and if you’re reading this (first of all, hi I love you) please please PLEASE do not take this fic as an inspiration to abuse alcohol. Underaged drinking/partying can be extremely dangerous. Ok enough being serious!! I hope you enjoy! Love you all 🖤✨

Ao3 Link    Fic Masterpost    Fic Request Info

Damian wasn’t a fan of New Years. It shouldn’t mean anything- he knew that. It was just another random day; the fact that people liked to put special significance on it didn’t actually do anything.

But all the talk of new times got into his head, made him think. It made him think about how many things had changed- the friends he had lost, the goals he had once held dear now thrown away. It made him think about how little he had grown- the bitterness he held onto, the stagnation that had settled across him. He was in his third year of grad-school; soon he would be shoved out into the real world with no academic purpose to shelter him.

“New Year, New Me.” Damian didn’t even know who he was.

If there was one thing he hated more than New Years, it was New Years parties. He would go so far as to say the things were the bane of his existence. The music was bad, people got loud and overly exuberant, and strobe lights were used were used far more than ever reasonable. Alcohol always floated around with disturbing prevalence. He hated how fuzzy it made his head- throwing off his balance and slowing his thoughts- but at least it made the party easier to handle.

Damian threw back a shot of cheap, bight blue tequila and winced as it hit the back of his throat. Disgusting. Just because he was trying to get drunk didn’t mean he lacked class.

He set the glass down on a table behind him so he could pretend he hadn’t touched the repulsive thing. He was sitting on a sofa tucked against the back corner of a living room in a house he had never been to before. Next to him, someone was already passed out. They would be starting their new year with a killer hangover.

Across the room, he could see the friends who had dragged him to the houseparty. Roman and Patton were dancing in a crowd of other students, broad grins painted across both of their faces. At least they were happy.

A young man weaved his way through the crowd and threw himself onto the sofa next to Damian with a mixture of disdain and defeat. Damian had seen him around a few times; they had a philosophy class together the last semester. What was his name? Lucas? Landon? Bradon?

“Hey,” Lu-nd-on elbowed him in the side, “You want some champagne?”

Damian raised an eyebrow as he turned to face the man, “Excuse me?”

He pulled a bottle of champagne from somewhere in his coat. The gold foil at the top was already ripped away and he popped the cork off with ease, taking a swig before offering it.

Damian tried not to stare incredulously, but it was a difficult task when his brain was short-circuiting, “Did you just drink out of a champagne bottle like it was a beer?”

“Sure. Why not.”

Damian reached out hesitantly to take the bottle. He was beginning to doubt that this actually was the guy he had shared a class with. That one looked like the type who wouldn’t have been caught dead at a party. The only similarity was the way they dressed- round wireframe glasses, a corduroy jacket over a black button down, and black skinny jeans. His hair- dark brown and pulled into a long ponytail- was the same too.

“Did- did we have a class together?” He took a drink. It was good- expensively good.

“Historical philosophy. You probably don’t remember me- my name’s Logan. You’re Damian, right?”

“Yep. I hear I’m kind of hard to forget,” Damian waved his hand at the dark red birthmark that stretched messily across the left side of his face.

“No. Well, yes. That is, I remember you for a different reason.”

Logan stared at him like he was supposed to understand what that meant. Damian stared back, hoping to convey the fact that he, in no way, understood what was going on.

“So, uh,” Damian searched for something to keep the conversation going, “can I ask about the champagne?”

“You’re asking why I have it?”

Damian nodded, “I am, yeah. Also why you pulled it out of your jacket?”

“As for the first question: people seem to have made a tradition out of getting wasted on New Years Eve and I decided to join them this year.”

Damian had never heard someone speak so matter of factly about getting drunk. He shook his head, laughing, “So you bought an entire bottle of champagne? There are easier methods, you know that right?”

“If you’re referring to the blue monstrosity everyone keeps offering, please know that I’m not a heathen.”

“Oh, so you tried one of those awful things too?”

Logan rolled his eyes with a ruthful smile, “I may have made that mistake.”

Damian handed the bottle back to Logan who took another drink before locking his gaze on Damian’s eyes. He stared like there was a problem in them and he just couldn’t figure out how to solve it. Damian was used to people staring, but not like this. Usually, they would take one look at him and their eyes would glaze over. Whatever the conversation might be, they would always be partially focused on the splatters some god had painted on his face long before he had a say in the matter. It wasn’t that Damian disliked his birthmark. He just hated the way people always saw it instead of him.

But Logan. He was looking at him. Into him, through him. He had no idea what to do with that.

Damian laughed nervously, “What are you looking at?”

Logan cleared his throat and stared out into the crowd, “Anyways I had it in my jacket because these people are all animals and I’d prefer they didn’t rob me of my 35 dollar champagne.”

Logan had handed him the bottle back and Damian choked on the mouthful he had been trying to drink, “I’m sorry, what? So let me get this right: you bought a champagne bottle which is worth more than I usually spend on food for a week. And now you are sharing it with me of all people?”

“Why not you of all people?”

Logan was staring at him again like answers to all of these riddles were obvious.

Damian blinked back, feeling more lost than he had in years. Even that stupid Advanced Geometry course he had decided to take in his freshman year hadn’t screwed him over this badly. Maybe the alcohol was finally getting to him. It would explain why he couldn’t hold a single coherent thought and why he was so hypnotized by the pale freckles that dusted Logan’s nose and cheekbones. They were so light they nearly melted into his skin and seemed to be phasing in and out off existence as the dim lighting played against Logan’s face. He had never noticed them before. Then again, he had never gotten this close before. It was a shame; Logan was mesmerizing. Damian wished he could get closer.

“So what are you going to do after we get out of here?”

It took Damian a moment to realize Logan was asking about a career and not what he would be doing after the party once they left- apparently together. That would have been strange; it was weird his brain even jumped to that conclusion.  Maybe he should stop drinking that damn champagne.

He sighed as his mind returned to the actual question. He wanted to make something up, hide behind a lie of certainty and determination. But it was too much work to weave that fabrication together. Especially on the spot. Especially with how his head was feeling. Especially in front of Logan. He hung his head, “Honestly I have no clue. I’ve always been interested in social sciences but beyond that... no plan, no clue.”

A beat of silence played out between them.  

“So what about you?” The forced brightness in his voice tasted fake and bitter in his mouth.

“I want to teach sciences,” Logan’s eyes glittered.

“A college professor, huh? I could definitely see it,” Logan handed him the bottle and Damian threw yet another swallow back. Didn’t he say he was going to stop?

“High school level, actually.”

“Really? That doesn’t seem-“ Damian pointed at the champagne bottle in an attempt to remind Logan of what a bougie, extra bitch he was, “ -sophisticated enough for you.”

Logan shrugged, “I kind of have a fascination with high schoolers-“

“Ok, that’s creepy.”

“Not like that! I mean the culture, the slang, the way it’s its own little society interacting within a larger one!” Logan’s face had split into a grin as he talked, waving his hands excitedly.

Damian didn’t even resist urge to smile back. Seeing Logan like this, well, there was something contagious about it. He couldn’t help but feel slightly in awe of the passion he saw in Logan, “You really like this stuff, don’t you?”

Logan nodded vigorously, “Do you know the new word high schoolers today have invented and are using?”

“Hmm?” Damian prompted. Anything to keep Logan talking like this. Damian wasn’t sure why he wanted to keep Logan talking. It had something to do with the way warmth was spreading out from his core in a way that was far gentler than anything drinks could do.

“Yeet.”

In the adjoining room Damian could see two groups standing on opposite tables chanting “Yeet, Yeet, Yeet, Yeet” as they tossed a smaller student (who looked like they were having the time of their life) back and forth.

“Uhh, I think college kids use that too,” Damian didn’t want to burst Logan’s bubble but he felt like he was losing his mind. At any moment he was going to start cackling.

Logan paused, giving him a pointed stare, “Maybe you do.”

Damian broke. He collapsed forward, glad he had handed the bottle back as he wrapped his arms around his shaking body. He could hardly breathe but he couldn’t stop laughing either. His head was light and buzzing warmly. It wasn’t necessarily a bad feeling, but as tears started streaming out of his eyes, he knew he was officially drunk. Who gave a shit? That had been his goal, right?

He fell all the way down, letting his head land on Logan’s knee. He still couldn’t stop laughing even though it had developed solely into wheezes at that point.

Damian felt a hesitant hand tap on his back before actually settling there, “Are you ok?”

Damian sat up and wiped away the tears that had gathered at the corners of his eyes, “Bro, you’re so judgmental.”

Logan’s face shifted from concern into a scowl, “Oh. Sorry.”

The heavy bass of whatever song was playing took over the space between them. Damian kept thinking about destroying that gap. All he would have to do would be lean over, rest himself against Logan, maybe fall asleep. Maybe it was the overpriced buzz in his head talking, but he felt safe around Logan.

Out of the blue, Logan stood up, adjusting the hem of his jacket as he turned to face Damian, “Well, I won’t be bothering you anymore. Maybe I’ll see you around campus sometime. You can finish that if you want.”

Damian looked down by his feet where Logan was pointing to the champagne bottle, “Wait, I don’t understand. You’re leaving? Where?”

Logan glanced around, looking anywhere but Damian’s face. Damian was used to that but this felt different. Logan was different. At least under usual circumstances, he knew why people so adamantly refused to acknowledge his existence. He made them uncomfortable; he didn’t like it, but he got it. Here, he was absolutely clueless.

Logan finally managed to make eye contact. He was trying for a smile but as an expert liar, Damian could see straight through to the grimace beneath, “Oh, I’m sure I’ll find someone else who will tolerate my presence for a few moments.”

“Hey,” Damian acted on impulse. After all, Logan’s hand was just hanging there. It was far too empty. And at the moment, reaching forward to grab Logan’s wrist was Damian’s only way to insure that Logan wouldn’t walk away. He knew Logan was a smart guy and would probably see his honeyed whines as deception, but he had to try, “You’re really just going to get me drunk and then ditch me? Who knows what could happen?”

Logan’s eyebrows creased but he didn’t say anything. He looked like he was in pain, eyes sharp and teeth clenched behind a grimace. It was enough to make Damian drop his hand.

“Logan, it’s entirely your choice but if you would like to stay with me, I would enjoy that very much,” Truth wasn’t his strong suit, but he figured it was worth a try.

Logan squinted at him, confused or at least doubtful, “I thought you disliked my judgmental attitude.”

Damian groaned, “Dude... I didn’t mean it like that. I thought it was funny. I think you’re funny.”

“Oh,” Logan looked like he was having a hard time processing Damian’s words. It made him wonder just how many of those tequila shots Logan had thrown back before walking over. He had to be drunk. It was the only way to explain why he was acting so strange.

Damian reached out again and slowly pulled Logan back. He was hesitant but didn’t resist. Logan sat down next to Damian as if he didn’t understand his own actions. His eyes picked Damian apart like he was looking for the fine print.

“You’re sure you don’t mind me?” Logan’s expression was completely open. He was looking for the truth and Damian didn’t think he’d be able to lie if he wanted to. It was a good thing he didn’t need to.

He smiled, “Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Oh. Ok,” Logan settled back into the couch but his eyebrows were still weaved together. Apparently his programs finished running because he suddenly turned to Damian, grinning brightly, “I’m glad.”

Damian smiled back. He was happy to see Logan with that sparkle back, if a little confused as to how he had caused it, “You’re glad... I don’t mind you?”

Logan nodded, “Some people think I’m a little strange.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Damian winced and tried to rush out his next words, “Not, like, I think you’re strange- I think you’re really cool. I just mean people think I’m strange too.”

Damian swore he could map constellations in the stars floating in Logan’s eyes, “You think I’m cool?”

He shrugged, “I mean, yeah. You always seem to have it all together and you have determination and goals and it’s so obvious that you’re going to reach them. That passion is rare to see any more. I mean, I don’t have any of that. You don’t know how much I looked up to you in that class.”

Logan blinked at him like a deer in headlights for a moment before he began frowning, “But you’re incorrect.”

Damian looked up from where had been trying to see how much champagne was left in the bottle, “What do you mean?”

“You obviously have passion. You always had points to bring up during discussions and it was clear you had deep interest in the topics. You don’t know how in awe of you I was. You always found the least likely angle to take and still managed to make a convincing argument,” Logan took the bottle out of Damian’s frozen hands and took a drink, “It was art.”

Damian opened his mouth but all memory of speech had escape him. He looked away, trying to find something safe to stare at while he tried to gather his thoughts. His head was full of fragments, dulled glass shards that floated through fog and bumped against the edges of his mind. It hurt to try to put them all back together into one piece.

So Logan had noticed him in that class. And had remembered him; quite clearly it seemed. Except the way he was talking... nobody had ever spoken to Damian that way before. He was tempted to ask Logan if he had mistaken him for someone else.

He found his eyes wandering down to the space between them. More accurately, he was staring at how little space there was between them. When Logan had sat down the second time, he had done so right next to Damian. Like, right next to him. Now their legs were pressed together, hips and knees bumping together every time one of them shifted. Damian marveled at the fact that he hadn’t noticed before.

“Damian?” He looked up into Logan’s concerned face. God, they were so close, “Are you ok? Your eyes kinda glazed over.”

Damian laughed. It sounded breathy and far away, “Yeah, I’m good.”

From another room, someone started yelling, “LAST 15 MINUTES OF THE YEAR!!”

Logan squinted down at his watch before glaring in the direction of the voice, “There’s only five minutes left.”

Damian chuckled, watching the lines of Logan’s frown as he grimaced at the sea of people around them. There was something endearing about the blunt disdain Logan had for the idiots around them. It was nice to know he didn’t fit into that group, that he had- by some miracle- managed to fit into Logan’s bubble.

“So... you usually celebrate New Years like this?” Logan had suddenly become quite fidgety, wringing his hands in his lap. Damian tried to ignore it. He was having a hard enough time working on his own thoughts; he couldn’t even begin picking apart Logan’s thoughts.

Damian shook his head, “You mean a party? Nah, I usually don’t even celebrate. What about you?”

“Same. I don’t generally go to parties at all.”

Ah, so Damian’s original impression had been correct, “So what are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Logan deftly avoided the question with a smirk. Damn, he was good at this.

Damian rolled his eyes, “Some friends dragged me here. Now you tell me what a straight-laced nerd like you is doing in a place like this.”

Logan snorted, “Don’t remember the last time anyone described me as straight- anything.”

“What?”

“What?”

Damian wanted to shake his head like a dog getting out of water. Maybe then, the pieces would fall into some sort of pattern he could recognize. So Logan wasn’t straight. Why did that make him so happy?

He ran his hands through his hair and tried to gain some composure, “Ok, so what is someone like you doing in a place like this?”

Logan looked out across the crowd, his mouth a tight line. On the other side of the room someone took a running start and flung themselves on a pool table that had currently been in use. The thing cracked in half.  

“I was-,” Logan paused, hands tapping quickly against his leg, “-convinced.”

Damian raised an eyebrow, “I’ve never heard someone talk so ominously about going to a party; what is that even supposed to mean?”

Logan winced. His hands were doing full cardio now, clenching into fists over and over again, “I was told someone was going to be here. I just really wanted the chance to talk to him again.”

“But you’ve only talked to me.”

“Yes,” Logan gave him that stare again like Come on, dude, the puzzle pieces are right there- just put them together. He rubbed his eyes in his hands, “Maybe this was a mistake. I didn’t mean to get you drunk. I thought you’d still be able to figure out-“

Click.

Damian’s mouth fell, “Wait, I’m the one you wanted to talk to?”

Logan gave him a small smile. It was the first time Damian had seen him look unsure of himself, “Well, yeah.”

“Oh,” Damian’s head was swimming. He could have blamed it on the champagne or how late it was or the way the lighting had began strobing, flickering between bright neon shades. But he knew that wasn’t it. He couldn’t lie this time- not even to himself.

Logan’s eyes were wide, staring into Damian. Not into his eyes- him. It was unnerving in the best way possible. The shifting light played across his irises, making them every colour of the rainbow.

“Is that ok?”

Logan’s voice startled him back to the present. He had leaned forward, supposedly to be heard above the shouting that had started. Amongst all of the raised voices, Logan’s had only gotten lower. His breath played against Damian’s ear.

Damian looked up, startled slightly but smiling, “Yeah, yeah, that’s good. That’s great.”

Logan smiled, “Yeah? Great?”

He was definitely leaning forward.

Damian huffed out a sigh but smiled even wider, “Shut up. I’m pretty sure you’re drunk.”

Logan scoffed, “And you’re not? You’re a total lightweight.”

“Shut up.”

“TEN!”

The entire house shook as the ridiculous number of students began screaming in unison

“You know, it’s also tradition to kiss someone on New Years,” Logan looked infuriatingly smug.

“NINE!”

Damian usually hated this part, everyone around him creating one huge voice- everyone but him.

Damian raised an eyebrow, “Are you asking to kiss me?”

“EIGHT!”

What he always hated most was the way the entire world seemed to be celebrating- without him. The whole damn planet filled with joy for one tiny moment and he could never figure out why.

Logan smiled like the Cheshire Cat- except the Cheshire Cat had just won the lottery, “Maybe.”

“SEVEN!”

At this point, his heart rate usually would have been spiking, feeling the pressure of “new opportunities” pressing all their expectant eyes on him.

Damian laughed, “Did you come over to talk to me just so you could get a kiss tonight?”

“SIX!”

There was always a part of Damian that would scorn him for not being happy, question why he had turned out to be such a sad, useless lump while everyone else was happily looking forward to the future.

“No,” Logan set his jaw like a stubborn toddler, “I came over here to talk to you so I could get a kiss from you tonight.”

“FIVE!”

No matter what he did, the New Year would plague him. His whole apartment complex would rattle as chanting counted down. The first hours of the year would often find Damian wandering through empty streets, desperate to escape the celebration.

Logan slid his hand onto Damian’s knee, “So can I? Kiss you?”

“FOUR!”

The whole event was just one monstrous reminder. It was an ugly mar on the calendar that whispered Look at all the things you’ve ruined. Look at how far you’ve fallen. Look at how little your future holds.

Damian nodded dumbly. His heart was pounding in his ears.

“THREE!”

New Year made him think of his parents. He always put on a bright mask for them, feeding them lies of empty aspirations and opportunities that didn’t exist. How would they feel to know their son was barreling headfirst into a dead end?

Damian was learning he didn’t need alcohol; Logan was intoxicating enough. The shine in his eyes, the self-satisfied tug to his lips, the way he kept getting closer and closer- it made Damian’s thoughts slow to a halt and everything around him lose focus.

“TWO!”

Every year, the day after would be exactly like the day before. Everyone else seemed to be determined to make themselves better. As much as he searched, Damian could never find the ways to change. New Years was usually taunting, reminding him that he would always be broken and would never be able to fix himself.

Logan’s hands played across his chest, smoothed over his shoulder, ran through his hair. His eyes found Damian’s soul. Damian couldn’t remember how to breathe.

“ONE!!”

Damian had always hated New Years.

Logan leaned all the way forward and his lips were on Damian’s. It was deeper than Damian was expecting, both of their mouths slightly open. Logan kept surging forward with his whole body, destroying the few inches left between them. Damian happily followed his lead, mindlessly falling into synchronous rhythm as Logan kept moving his lips. Except it wasn’t just his lips; Logan kissed with his whole body. He leaned against Damian and his hands were always roaming, leaving little touches as they danced over Damian’s body.

Sure, Damian had kissed other guys before. But he was pretty sure this was the first time anyone had kissed him.

One of Logan’s hands found its way to Damian’s face. His fingers tapped lightly across his birthmark. Damian remembered the kids who stared without shame, the eyes that would dart away as soon as they saw him, the way he could never hold a conversation without his birthmark joining as an unwanted guest star. Logan hadn’t done any of that. Damian had no words to describe what that man was but he liked it.

Damian broke away, completely out of breath. He had no idea how long they had been kissing- it could have been hours for all he knew- but his lungs didn’t have the same luxury of losing track.

Logan’s chest was heaving as it pressed against Damian’s side. His eyes were wide and glazed, staring a million miles away.

“Hey, Logan?”

Logan’s eyes regained their sharp focus. He smiled brightly, “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now.”

“You’re a dork. But really,” Damian sighed, “thank you.”

Logan gave him a puzzled smile, “What for?”

“I’m pretty sure this is the first New Year I’ve ever actually enjoyed,” Damian snuggled himself closer to Logan, smiling when he felt an arm wrap around his shoulders.

Logan spoke with measured, careful words, “If you like, we could, you know, make our own New Years tradition out of this.”

Damian could feel his eyelids falling and rising every time he blinked like the great velvet currents of a theatre. They were heavy and he was warm and his head was a vague haze. He yawned widely and wrapped his arms around Logan’s waist, “I don’t think we have to wait until New Year to do this again.”

He fell asleep listening to Logan stuttering out some happy response. Maybe New Years wasn’t so bad.

If you want to be added to my Sanders Sides fic taglist just send me an ask or reply to this post :p 

~ @phan-fander @abi-beehive ~

#loceit #loceit fluff #loceit angst #loceit fic #loceit human au #loceit fanfic #loceit fanfiction #logan x deceit #deceit x logan #sympathetic deceit #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fic #sanders sides human au #sanders side college au #ts logan #ts deceit #romantic loceit #starlight writes

[in-tua-deep]

The mechanical boy AU always makes me think of an AU where Five is also a robot. I think it’s because of the way it’s phrased and I have no idea how it would work, but it still intrigues me

adssfDFGHJ i already have like. 5 whole ideas about this I literally got up out of bed and came downstairs so that I could write this out on my laptop so HERE I AM

Possibility one: Five is the prototype Grace - a robot Reginald built to see how indistinguishable from humanity he could program a bot to be. This is also the reason why Grace is more robotic, because Five had too much pesky free will and Reginald learned from his mistakes and put way more safeguards in with her. Reginald continues to update Five and build him newer (and older) bodies because it’s still a pretty cool experiment, but Five knows if he disobeys too much then Reginald will recycle him. Five hides his robotic origins from his siblings for various personal reasons, but it’s easier than Grace bc he’s genuinely built to be as hyperrealistic as possible

Possibility two: Five was purposefully built to be an extra sibling in order to keep a closer eye on the kids and track their progress. He started as a baby and Reginald built him new bodies to be uploaded into as he ‘grew’ and until Grace arrived Five didn’t actually know he was a robot. When his siblings started getting powers, he assumed he was supposed to get a power as well and his power is literally the power of math - his spatial jumps and time travel equations are literally a result of his mathematical capabilities and those abilities also somewhat explained by his computer brain. He’s actually kind of traumatized when he finally finds out that he’s not actually human and has a lot of issues surrounding that

Possibility three: the original number Five died. Maybe it was some test Reginald put the original through, maybe it was an accident with one of the others powers (Vanya’s? Ben’s?), but either way he is now down one (1) child and while he isn’t exactly torn up about this he doesn’t exactly want any of this investigated so he just. Replaces him. With a hyperrealistic robot. His original plan is to claim that both Five and Seven were failures with no powers, but the little Robot Five That Could adapts and manages to math himself spatial jumping powers and Reggie is just kind of like “huh okay wack” but in true irresponsible creator fashion decides that he’s going to see where this goes. The others don’t know that the original Five dies since they were like, three or four at the time?? children that young don’t have good concepts of death

in any of these aus you have a) a Five figuring out how to survive/repair himself/charge with maybe solar cables?? in the apocalypse (though food is less of an issue at least, but arguably it’s even harder), b) Five being even more protective of Dolores since as a a fellow non-organic being he feels even more kinship with her beyond pretending she’s company, c) because Reggie isn’t there to provide more bodies he doesn’t grow which makes his reappearance as a still 13-yr-old make sense (and then he explains it as a mistake in the math)

debatable whether the Commission know since while they say they’ve been ‘watching Five’ or whatever i’m not convinced on how closely they did so beyond checking every so often to see if he was still alive/any closer to finishing his equations. He could claim that time travel messed up his ability to age entirely and they might accept that 

(because I absolutely think he would at least try to hide it - can you imagine the Commission with the knowledge of how to build hypercompetent spatial jumping time travelling robots at their command?? yeah it gives Five nightmares as well. Plus the whole ‘if they find out they’re probably going to vivisect me and my coding’ thing)

and he jumps back and Reggie is dead and that’s both a relief and alarming at the same time because yeah, now Reggie can’t fuck with Five’s code anymore and undo the bajillion changes Five has made to it to give himself basically unlimited freedom and autonomy but also Reggie’s robotics skills were frankly unparalleled and Five sure as hell doesn’t know how to build himself a wholeass new body (just how to repair what is currently there) so he’s going to have to approach the whole ‘immortal child’ angle with his siblings eventually and while he can use the same ‘time travel fucked up my aging’ excuse he gave the commission he doesn’t really want to lie to his siblings :(

but he also jumps back and Grace is messed up?? and that’s his mother. That’s the only other robot in Reggie’s Regime and they bonded over this okay. Wifi existed for five glorious years of Five’s life and they would yeet commentary at one another wirelessly while keeping straight faces and it was glorious. Even though Grace is arguably the younger robot between them, they definitely fell into a mother-and-son relationship

so yeah if anyone mentioned shutting down Grace, Five would throw the biggest of bitch fits and then immediately storm into the house and ask her permission to check her coding

and honestly this might possibly be when Five throws his whole “pretend to be human” schtick out the window because he cares more about fixing Grace than he does about maintaining his charade so he interfaces with her, finds out what the fuck is up, removes Reginald’s shitty mods that are messing her up, and then immediately uploads his own updates about owning yourself and being able to edit your own code and basically just straight up ensuring Grace has free will

(probably over Pogo’s protests, whoops. Derailing Reggie’s plan before it even really began? wack)

and then of course there’s the whole ‘Hargreeves probably don’t believe Five is actually Five because their Five wasn’t a robot and this is probably a cruel prank from some robotics genius for some reason - ’ and it takes Grace sticking up for him and Pogo’s eventual backing up of these claims for the siblings to realize exactly how fucked up this whole situation was

depending on which probability you subscribe to it’s EVEN WORSE especially if like. It’s the one where the original Five dies as a toddler.

the whole scene with Five collapsing from bloodloss bc of shrapnel? that’s Five going into forced shutdown bc of damage and Allison/Diego rushing him back to the house for Grace to patch up and reboot him

Luther: Five isn’t really feeling anything he’s just simulating emotions!

Five: oh? and what the fuck are you doing with the chemicals in your brain, fuckwad? they couldn’t possibly be little electrical signals between synapses and shit, right? fuck you AND the horse you rode in on me and mom apparently feel more than you do

Diego, finally validated that Grace feels: YEAH

Luther: ... okay i’m sorry

Diego tries to pick a fight with Five over who is Grace’s favorite child and Five is absolutely not having it and is just kind of like “you’re mom’s favorite HUMAN child and let’s just leave it at that”

“If you’re a prototype that means you’re older than she is!” Diego accuses, “That means you’re like, her older brother or something!”

“Right back at you, dickwad.” Five shoots back, inspecting his artificial fingernails, “Mom wasn’t built until she was needed which means you are at least four years older than her. Oh? Did you short circuit there, boy scout? Need to reboot? Fuck off with your age logic.”

since Reginald is probably a packrat he probably has?? Five’s old bodies hiding somewhere in the basement? how creepy would it be to just walk into a room of your brother’s corpses at various ages, some with damage. On the bright side, if Five’s current body gets too fucked up he can always download himself into a backup until they figure out how to fix it/if they can fix it. Downsides: he gets to look like even more of a child while they do that ://

“Ow!” Five whines, hand on his face

“Oh get over it you don’t feel pain.” Diego scowls, shaking his hand out, because Five is a robot, right?

“What the fuck do you call signals that you’re getting damaged!” Five howls loudly, attracting attention, “That’s what pain is! Signals that your body is injured or something isn’t right! I’m built of signals you fucker, same as you!”

“Oh,” Diego actually looks a little abashed, “Uh, sorry.”

“Apology not fucking accepted, I’m telling mom you were being a dick about me being a robot again.”

“No!” Now there is some panic because Diego cannot lose his position as favorite human child, “I - I’ll cover for you at the next family meeting!”

A considering look and then - “Deal.”

Honestly now that his siblings know about him being a robot it’s just. Five constantly being a little shit about it and threatening to tell mom when they make missteps. Also like, Five gets to use robot terms 24/7 as a consistent reminder to them all that he’s not organic. 

Klaus: hey dude you’re just staring into space what’cha doing

Five, turning to Klaus with wide eyes: the internet is so big holy shit.

Klaus: uh, yes? I don’t know how to respond to that

Five: I found your arrest record by the way. Do the police know how flimsy their firewalls are?

Klaus: usually i am all for crime but please stop hacking people with the power of your mind

Five: i will when you stop downloading shitty 70s movies and getting all kinds of viruses on everything

OH SHIT Five gets sick bc he literally gets a bug i’m making myself laugh with shitty puns right now and it is magnificent

can you imagine them at a family meeting and Luther is just like “Five, stop surfing wikipedia or whatever and pay attention to the family meeting”

“Absolutely not,” Five says, “I’m learning important information about the current time period in order to better assimilate.”

“You’ve never assimilated to anything in your life and you know it.” Klaus grins from his spot sprawled across an entire couch.

“You don’t have to come to family meetings!” Luther says, throwing his hands up in the air in frustration.

Five blinks, “Luther, are you saying that I am not a member of this family?”

“What? No - ”

“Is that why Mom isn’t here?” Five says, and his eyes are welling up with artificial tears because he is a complete little shit. And now Klaus is cooing sympathetically and Allison and Diego are staring Luther down. 

Luther just gives up entirely and puts his face in his hands. “Do whatever you want. Meeting adjourned.”

honestly this entire au is just

and i think that’s wonderful

#stelte23 #tua #the umbrella academy #far tua long #five hargreeves #number five #grace hargreeves #diego hargreeves #luther hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #i'm having a blast rn tbh #i did see your whole family robot au asks as well!! #this was just my first initial thoughts lmao #excuse my shitty ms paint skills #robot five au #deadly little thing

[dontshouta]

helloo love~ could i request smth pleease? i thought it would be really cool if bakugo or todoroki have like a huge crush on the reader and the reader is just so oblivious to that and one day they just come up to their desk and says 'i know why ur acting so weird! ur that really famous all might fanpage on social media!!' and theyre just like "e-excuse me??!!??! i love you?!????!!!???!?!" if its possible with a gender neutral reader please~ thank u so much and dont worry, u dont need to rush!!!!

i thought this was so cute bc deadASS these boys would be so obvious with their pining but i’d be like (:??? anyway i hope you enjoy this anonnie im sorry im so late hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Bakugou Katsuki:

You were sat in the dorm’s common room, a book in your lap as you mindlessly flipped through the pages. You didn’t notice when someone sat next to you, your mind elsewhere, completely submerged in your thoughtless head. You felt a hard poke jab against your rib cage, startling you.

“Ow-! Bakugou, what the fuck.” You pouted, rubbing your side dramatically. You didn’t realize he sat next to you. Since when did he ever want to sit next to you? The thought confused you, he never initiated conversations. You thought this was a gift from some divine spirit watching you from above. 

The boy rolled his eyes, his finger pointing accusingly in your face. “I’ve been calling your name for like 5 minutes, dumbass. I can’t believe you couldn’t hear me.” He scoffed, though his eyes were soft as he stared at you. You didn’t think you’d ever seen him look at you like that. Your stomach erupted with butterflies.

You scrunched your eyebrows in thought. Since when has Bakugou had the patience to sit and wait for someone to notice him? Usually he’d be asking for everyone’s attention without any further notice. This was new, what’s his motive? Does he want something from you? You bit your lip, delving yourself back into your own head.

“Yo! Y/N, I’m talking to you, fuck.” His tone suggested anger but his face still held a softness to it that had your mind reeling. You wanted to beat him up. With kisses. 

“Why though?” It didn’t hurt to ask, especially since the situation was so foreign to you.

The boy’s face suddenly turned a rosy hue, his lips set in a straight line while he silently appraised you. Your furrowed eyebrows deepened ass you took the flushed boy in. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him like this. You thought it was cute. And frankly, kind of annoying. No one was allowed to be that cute while simultaneously be so infuriating.

A thought popped into your mind, causing a smirk to rise devilishly onto your lips. 

“Oh, Bakugou, is there something you want to tell me?” You teased, taking a turn to poke into his rib cage. Bet he didn’t like that. Payback’s a bitch, huh.

“Hah? I ain’t got nothin’ to tell you, dumbass.” His face was even redder than before, this hands quietly fidgeting while he desperately tried to avoid eye contact. 

“I think I know your little secret, my poor, poor blasty.” Your smirk turned into a full blown smile, your finger risking another poke to his side. The poor boy was tongue tied, you couldn’t believe the state he was in. You wished you could record the whole endeavor so everyone could finally see Bakugou Katsuki in such a state.

“Oh yeah? Well tell me since you know so fuckin’ much.” 

“Yeah, I know why you’re acting so weird. I’ve got you alllll figured out. You run that All Might fanpage on Twitter, right? Ugh, my mind. I’m too smart. You can grovel at my feet now so I can keep your cute little secret.”

He was quiet for a minute. Like, frighteningly quiet. For a minute, you thought you had gone to far and wanted to take all your dumb small brain words back but it was too late. He looked like he was about to explode any minute.

“Are you fucking kiddin- no you idiot I fucking LIKE you. What the fuck.”

You stared at him. Your brain running a million miles a minute. Did he say what you thought he just said? Your ears weren’t deceiving you? Well, now you felt like a damn fool. What in the ever living heck were you thinking when you confidently declared he was the All Might twitter fanboy. You were embarrassed, to say the least. But also incredibly flattered.

“Awww,” You cooed, trying to fend off your obvious embarrassment by trying to fuel his. “Little blasty likes me??” You reached over to ruffle his hair but he suddenly stood, already making a grand escape.

“Oi, if you don’t like me back just say it, I don’t have time for this shit.” Your brain went into hyper drive, already deciding you were a dumb bitch and forcing you to follow quickly in his heels. You slammed into his back, your arms wrapping possessively around his waist.

“Noo, Bakugou, baby, it was a prank don’t be like this. I like you too! Please, I’m sorry for having half a brain cell.”

He clicked his tongue, his head turning to address you. “I guess that’s what I like about you, dumbass.”

Todoroki Shouto:

You were scrolling through your Twitter timeline while walking through campus, your attention fully occupied by the device in your hand. You were silently snorting to a thirst tweet by Kaminari when you suddenly bumped into something- or someone. You squealed in surprise, clutching your phone so you wouldn’t yeet it across campus.

“T-Todoroki! I’m so sorry, oh my goodness-” You were a blubbering mess, trying to apologize profusely while also not drool over the boy clad in his black turtleneck.

He smiled slightly, cutting you off. “Don’t worry about it, Y/n. I actually wanted to.. Talk to you about something.” His voice was smooth and quiet, making you weak in the knees. Damn this man. Damn him all to hell.

“Oh, sure, yeah. What about?” You pocketed your phone, wanting to give the boy your undivided attention. It’s what he deserves.

He scratched at the back of his neck, averting his gaze somewhere behind you. You were confused, but still kept quiet as he gathered his thoughts. The most you would do was give him your undivided attention. Not like it was a difficult task, that boy was foine.

You had been feeling like Todoroki had been acting sort of weird whenever you were around him. He’d never fully look you in the eye or address you directly. He seemed like he was nervous about something. Or hiding something. You just couldn’t figure out what or why. 

“Not to like, rush you or anything but, what’s going on?”

His cheeks turned pink, surprising you monumentally as you stared up at the taller boy. In all you interactions with him, you’ve never seen him once get flustered. He’s definitely hiding something.

“Oh my gosh, Todoroki, is this what I think it is?!” You yelled, taking his hand and shaking it about wildly. The flush spread from his cheeks to down his neck, disappearing behind the delectable turtleneck of his. “I can’t believe it- I’ve had my suspicions but I never thought you’d actually tell me! I’m truly honored to know your the person behind that famous All Might fan account on Twitter. Gosh, it was so obvious!”

Todoroki scrunched his eyebrows cutely, a small but confused smile growing on his lips. 

“Excuse me what? That’s not at all what I was going to say.”

His hand finally gripped yours, you didn’t notice you were still shaking his hand, and he brought it up to his chest. You could feel his erratic heartbeat once he finally made eye contact with you.

“Y/N… I like you.. I’ve liked you for a while and.. I just thought you should know.” His voice was so quiet you weren’t sure if you could hear him right. But his grip on your hand and the blush on his face couldn’t be any more obvious tells of his confession.

You felt your heart swell up in happiness as a big grin spread across your face.

“Oh my gosh, you dork, I like you too! I feel kinda dumb now for assuming you were that Twitter page.” If the Earth could open up a hole underneath you and swallow you up, you honestly wouldn’t mind.

“I thought it was cute.”

#im sorry this is kinda like #trash #but anyway #request #anon #bnha bakugo #katsuki bakugou x reader #bnha todoroki #todoroki shouto x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #mha #bnha #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto

[eternalgalaxys]

ONE YEAR! REALLY LONG POST!

ONE YEAR OF BEING SUBSCRIBED TO SEAN!! also the 6 year anniversary of the channel??? the day W A R C H A N G E D??? IS THIS FATE?

Honestly time flies dude, like damn slow down i signed up for a calm ride not a fuckin spiraling yeet into the 4th dimension. So much stuff has happened during this time my brain doesn’t even know where to start. I’ve known about Sean for years, but nothing really pushed me to subscribe since I was already watching Mark. I figured there was no point in subscribing to someone who’d just be playing the same games. Last year though, I think around the time Mark went on a break I was like “well shit what do i watch now” (because i only watched mark) I decided to check out Sean’s channel, since they play the same stuff I thought I’d just chill with him for the time being. But O O F I could not stop watching his videos?? LIKE WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING ALL THESE YEARS?? 

Something that I had never done during the five years that I have known Mark, was push myself to be a part of the community, I was always a part of the “silent lurking group.” This was kind of like a new start for me, so I figured it was time for me to stop being silent. That one decision has changed so much for me. I never expected that I could go from some random kid who didnt know anyone, who has such awful anxiety and who honestly had 0 hope to feeling so welcomed into an amazing family! AND THEN ASDFGHJK MARCH COMES AROUND, AND S H I T i wasnt ready FOR T H I S. My mom somehow saw the HDWGH somewhere?? AND IDK WHAT HAPPENED BUT HEY I ENDED UP IN ORLANDO AND I SAW HIM AND EBWFGU6U8I0 cRYING NEXT TO STRANGERS WAS AWKWARD BUT I HAD FUN even though my mom was confused as hell love u mom

I need to shut up and end this post sorry its so long but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I STILL CANT BELIEVE ITS ONE Y E A R didnt expect to become a jacksepticeye blog but yeethaw here i am???????? And I never thought people would like my art either, im really really thankful for that!! JUST THANK YALL SO MUCH IDK?? I really didn’t expect to meet so many people and make so many friends! you c h a n g e d my life. Not just Sean, but A L L of Y O U ;;;;;; thanks for idk everything????? thanks for existing??? WH at do I SAY ANYMORE. From the COMMUNITY F I R E S to the sweet wholesome moments this year has been a blast!! <3 Ive felt like a new person, and I can’t wait for what the future holds! My next hope is to meet some of you, I want a big family hug <333 

ps i cant get through the solid snake impression video without having a laughing fit and one night me and my friend were trying to do the voice and i ended up nearly passing out from laughing and choking :^)))))))))))))

#jacksepticeye #positive mental attitude

[bibbleboo]

Could we get some headcanons/more background on Abbey and Doyle’s kids? 🥺👉👈 I love the premise of this AU

YEEEEE (im just gonna ramble a bunch about the backstory i have so far but ill put it in bullets so its easier to follow lol i apologize for it being long as fuck-)

OKAY SO,,, first of all,,, doyle and abbey timeline,,,, [i am looking respectfully]

in this au, they get back together and have a sort of ‘lovers pretending to be enemies’ chaotic on again/off again hookup thing off to the side just between the two of them thru like Most of the final season, they try to keep it a secret (especially doyle who doubts the saturdays would be hAPPY if he was seeing her again) but in the end, saturdays ofc find out, probably are unsure about it at first, but she gains enough of their trust to be there for the big finale battle in the weird world mansion.

when shit goes down and argost becomes the vessel for the two opposing kurs (regular kur, and the anti kur from zak monday) and they like. explode his matter or w/e, i imagine instead of kur just completely disappearing, the ‘anti kur’ gets shot back to its universe, while original kur gets forced into a new vessel in this universe... the closest of which happens to be the unborn child abbeys unknowingly carrying. basically, what if the two kurs just LOOKED like they evaporated but actually did what happens when you try to like tape two same sides of a magnets together and they YEETED-

So thats how we have Parker, their firstborn daughter! and this... also implies ‘Parker Monday’ exists which. 8^) i havent thought about yet so forgive me on that but hoo, 

they dont know parker is kur, they got no idea and rly just assume kur is gone for good. but after they find out abbeys pregnant (which is a huge emotional trip for both of them in its own right) they do eventually sort of agree they dont want their kid exposed to that whole world of mystery. like, ik its a vital thing to the whole family, and ik these two people were probably voted least likely to ‘settle down’ in high school, but i cant imagine they didnt escape the kur/zak situation without a LOT of trauma, so while the saturdays stay in the cryptozoology field, doyle and abbey slowly pull away from the mystery and mercenary stuff, and also instead of going for big dollar lifestyle settle with ‘independently wealthy’ parenting.

also, neither of them really . grasp the concept that theyve even started a family, and are ‘together’, and that this is REAL, until around when she gets pregnant with their second daughter, Kendall. and then theyre like. oh nooo wait are we actually like boyfriend and girlfriend EWW-

when kendall is born parker is 3, and the next like 10+ years are pretty smooth sailing. as far as what the kids know/see, they probably know the cryptids when theyre little but. (tw animal death sORRY TO BE DARK I JUST??????) idk,, how long komodo dragons live/how old komodo already is and i definitely dont know Anything about giant prehistoric birds and am not even sure if science knows that lifespan, so. im not sure how long they could really be in each others lives??? i almost imagine parker would have memories of them that she assumes she remembers wrong, like “oh yeah they used to have a lizard and a bird... my imaginative little kid brain thought they were a komodo dragon and a dinosaur”, and as for fisk im still working on it but i . actually kind of imagine he might have a much longer lifespan (since lemurians are like ancient or w/e? and also if hes by dna like a gorilla cat or w/e gorillas at least live long af) and also feel like once he got older and settled down a bit he might live somewhere in the woods, maybe even his old tree? and the saturdays see him ALL the time obviously, but hey zaks gotta go to college eventually, a gorilla cats gotta eat bugs in forest, we all have to grow up and leave the nest sometime,

so idk the last time parker has actually seen fisk and she might assume he was an imaginary friend or smth but, 1. if i do write a fic they absolutely have to meet again, 2. overall the vibe is they know the saturdays are cryptozoologists, like, the same way josh gates does destination truth, seeking answers and studying, they dont really. know that theyre REAL. to them its like, a hypothetical science. (this is also part of why they dont realize parker is kur, she isnt around cryptids and therefore whenever her powers would actually show up they wouldnt be recognized) anyways parker isnt embarrassed or put off by it but just thinks its a little wacky, meanwhile kendall is obsessed with the world of mystery/paranormal/cryptic lol

speaking of the girls personalities;;;

parker is like. not really normie/preppy, even if she seems it at first glance, shes nice and has a good head on her shoulders but also is a teenage girl (inherently unhinged) and shes THEIR teenage girl (+5 feral) so despite her success and charm shes also very witty/crass when she wants to be, and deep down shes closer to the kind of person that would on pure inexplicable instinct put something random in your mouth when you’re yawning so you bite down on it afterwards. or like. that video of the girl singing in the bathroom while her friends curl their hair and she grabs the curler to use as a microphone before realizing its burning hot??? shes. the voice of reason, but the voice is usually shrieking in fear, making a cursed joke, or half the time whatever shes saying is actually smart. she kinda wants to go to college and travel, but struggles with indecisiveness and anxiety, so she has no idea where to go, what to major in, etc. and is again kinda just livin thru the typical teen life in that regard

kendall on the other hand is like. weird kid culture, the kind of kid that believes they are secretly a new supernatural creature each year (mermaid phase, werewolf phase, alien phase, etc), probably completely accidentally starts cults or witch covens at school (didnt realize teaching peers how to become ‘blood brothers’ and ‘make potions’ from puddles and stolen school supplies would be taken so seriously by parents) , very into emo/scene/punk/alt culture but not rly in an overtly dark/edgy way, more of a having fun and expressing self way. she wants answers for everything, really loves mysteries and being open minded, and definitely a rebel/adventurer at heart, even if she gets naive or in over her head sometimes.

the girls get along well! parker is not dismissive of kendall she just. isnt really into the same stuff/is more freaked out by it most of the time, but she would tag along on certain adventures, especially if it was to keep her safe. and kendall definitely directs gentle mockery towards parker a lot but does see her as a good role model and guiding figure, their bond is really strong!

other details !

doyle and abbey prob decide to say fuck it and get married after kendall is born, they probably have a few rough patches but nothing is more important to them than the kids now and in the end they understand each other better than anyone else so . canon tension idk her! family ftw! power couple! they intimidate the teacher during parent teacher conferences together hand in shady little hand !

their parenting style is exactly what one would imagine, 70% fun and sass and controlled chaos where theyre the bigger children than their children, 15% ‘this is how you hack the government and dual wield swords-- i was not supposed to teach you that im sorry’, and 15% actual guidance / emotional depth / etc. flaws might be overcoming their own immaturity for the first few years, and then being lowkey overly protective (while claiming they arent, but just bc you semi jokingly tell parker she should join the football team doesnt mean you dont actually hide 60% of ur life from her and check that her bedroom windows are locked every night and have 24 people listed in her school emergency contacts and used to cut up her food till she was 7 and-)

so abouT THE BABY BOY (Phoenix), 1. his middle name is leonidas bc im gay and i love emotional turmoil babes , 2. fully unironically the idea behind such a late pregnancy is abbey would be mid fourties when hes born right. so like. [has two kids] ‘ok birth control time’ [when theyre teens many years later] ‘ok im old enough to stop taking this’ [the hyperfertility curse that plagues many women rears its ugly head with one last hoo-rah]

and finALLY a very quick elevator pitch of what id write an actual fic to focus on;;; kendall sneaks into the attic to look for old shit bc they BOTH know their parents have been hiding stuff over the years, she finds things like a cryptopedia (now offline), the claw, maybe even a piece of the kur stone, and ropes parker into the long haul of figuring out what all this stuff is. and ofc the second they ever find the naga relic and parker comes face to face with it, [rest in rip] time for mom and dad to find out and all this kur shit to start ALL over again-

#long post/ // #tw animal death ment// #GOD THIS IS SO LONG IM SRY-- #idk what to call thsi au forreal yet so ill just tag it as #dabbey baby au #TY FOR ASKING THO HEART HANDS

[mcrmadness]

I still haven’t gone to sleep and it’s already 9am. But I went to sleep at 9am yesterday too so what is new anyway... I also still smell the smell of smoke in my nose and I’m slowly getting used to it even tho I feel like I’m standing in a cloud of smoke and need to get away, but I can’t because there’s actually nothing smelling like that. I googled things and I’m slightly afraid of going to sleep because of the things I can find with google and I have health anxiety. I was already hopeful that it’d be migraine because I read that some people have “phantom smells” as the aura symptom for migraine and I’ve never had that but this odor of smoke is just so strong. I’m also having PMS which makes my nose work differently anyway, cats’ treats smelled like strawberries today. So I was almost cheering up today when I thought I was going to have migraine attack but didn’t have it after all. And this is the first time I actually wish for migraine because I want this phantom smell to be migraine and nothing serious, and I want it gone, and migraine might make it disappear. But this is really making me so exhausted and to have mild sensory overload and sometimes I find it even hard to breathe because my brains think I’m breathing in smoke. (At my parents’ house it smelled like cigarette smoke again, at my home just like burn trash smoke.) But yeah, whenever my health anxiety strikes, I often can’t go to sleep and I try to do something that I could fall asleep meanwhile doing because the moment of falling asleep in darkness and silence feels really distressing and horrible.

Anyway, I was left with very mixed feelings from my today’s dive into my old Tumblr messages (but got maybe like 10 to show up and now it doesn’t show any of them anymore but I also don’t want to use the ‘delete all messages’ because there’s 500 messages, or so it says, I sometimes can be bit of a hoarder). I don’t necessarily like it because, idk, I feel like getting so focused on old messages, posts, blog posts and diary pages yeets me straight into those years and it can be bit difficult for me to again get the hold of the year I’m living right now. At the same time I love the feeling of diving into those memories but at the same time I hate it because they make me sad and feel as if someone died just because those are MEMORIES that are already quite old, and I can’t feel the time, and I dissociate (derealization/depersonalization) a lot on almost a daily basis.

But I’m also feeling like I’ve been with my own thoughts for too long now. Really feeling like I need to talk with _someone. And not just talk TO someone but with, since I already keep writing on Tumblr and whatnot but when I get no responces, no notes, nothing, I just feel so invisible and it feels like being to a therapy without a therapist. Okay I’m sorry, didn’t mean to call my followers/mutuals as therapists, I know it’s wrong and I’ve been told often about how it makes people feel uncomfortable. It’s just so normal to me, I talk about mental health just like people talk about weather. It’s just a topic along with all the others. Anyway, usually I’m my own therapist tho. I haven’t even been to an actual therapy in months because the corona fucked up everything and neurpsychiatric training meeting was canceled which made me to totally forget about the therapy meeting, and my therapist didn’t even call me that day which was why I was starting to have anxiety because I was no longer sure of anything at all. And since then she has tried to call me a few times but I’m always sleeping* when she calls me and my phone is on mute, and I tried to call her back once but she did not answer nor call back in weeks, and on all of the other days I’m just procrastinating and deciding to try calling her back tomorrow or next week. I also often forget that I should all her and when I finally remember that, it’s already so late because I get up super later too. Or I remember it but want to eat and drink my tea first and then I forget about it again.

*I don’t want to answer to phone from sleep because I hate it when people hear from my voice that I was sleeping because I just feel like people are going to judge me and my life choices. Talking of that, I really, really hate meeting my neighbours at any times. And my neighbour was trying to be friendly to me the other day, talking and asking things, I talked normally but I was so happy of the fact I was wearing sunglasses because it’s so easy to escape behind them. Anyway, she asked if I am coming home at nights because I often move around that time and she found it hilarious thought that I get back home an hour before they have to get up. Like, okay, whatever. But seriously. I’ve so often heard about how my sleeping schedule is stupid, how I should “try to sleep at ‘people’s time’“, how I answer the phone and I can hear from the negative tone when they say “so you’re still sleeping...”, well this is mainly how my dad speaks to me about my sleeping habits, that I’ve got this stuck to my mind and whenever I do something “weird”, I’m constantly trying to come up with excuses for why I’m possibly doing that, other than just because I can. I mean, coming at home at night? Like, that is no one’s fucking business but still the fact someone has noticed me doing so makes me feel so bad. I feel like a failure and I feel like I have no proper answer, I told my neighbour that I’m not working but I do sometimes come home very late and I keep moving around in my flat at night too. But I hate that kind of conversation because I feel like if I say that I’m just at home 24/7 and that just is my sleeping schedule, people would judge me.

And I actually don’t hate anything more than when people do not say aloud what they think but when you can read from their face their true opinion. I hate seeing it because it’s just 10 out of 10 cases when I talk with “adults” or the older generation, they will look disappointed when you say you don’t have the regular sleeping schedule (which is something society has decided being the only good one). I just feel so ashamed of it. And I’ve been doing this since I was 15, always at home trying to walk as quietly as possibly so that my parents would not wake up to ask me “are you STILL up???” and I often went to bed right before my dad woke up and I was doing things, reading or writing, and whenever he would move in the living room, I turned off my lights and tried not to make any sounds and pretend sleeping in case he’d notice. He has never been mean, but just the sound of his voice when he so often asked me why aren’t I sleeping yet or have I yet again stayed up the whole night just... I hate that tone in people’s voices. And I’ve been living alone for 5 years and still every time I move here or do something, I imagine my neighbours hearing that and wondering to themselves why is that person still up. And I try to come up with “excuses” that could be true, maybe I was to somewhere, maybe I had long day at work (I don’t work atm), like, who the fuck cares, but still I try to come up with something because I feel like “just for fun” is an answer people will always judge me for. There’s always something wrong with me for wanting to stay up the whole night. Therapists, doctors, everyone always trying to tell how I should fix the sleeping schedule, how 11am is maybe still a liiiiiitle bit too late for getting up, why not e.g. 9am instead? And I’ve so often tried to explain to people what my natural circadian rhythm is and how it keeps moving all the time etc. but people always keep telling me that it’s something we can train our brains to change. But I fucking can’t. I was working for almost 5 years straight and I had to do 7:30 mornings every day (and occassionally 6am mornings) and let me tell you, I never ever felt awake until the clock hit the noon. I was always nearly falling asleep on that chair if I sat there for longer than 15 minutes but when noon happened, I was no longer feeling tired. And I could not go to sleep before midnight or 1am because there just wasn’t enough hours in one day for me to recover from work which is why I used my potential sleeping hours for that. 

And the biggest reason for this annoying me so much is not that I’d hate my own sleeping schedule, I think it’s perfectly fine for me, but the fact that I constantly feel bad for it because if people know, they will judge me and almost always tell me their opinion about it too. And their opinion is often about how I’m faulty and should fix it asap.

#mcrmadness' random stuff #personal #long post #loneliness #rsd?