#new p.s.
Umber Embers Vol.2, 9.19.23
“Observe Me"
As too the universe, observe me
Serve me and chew me up as used meat
Do me a favor and grade me on my flavor
Watch how I writhe for you, like dancing
Even flame will flicker in extinguished throes
Shine on me all the brighter in orbit
I love this song and dance we do
My eyes fixed on you, yours on me
Spiralize my thoughts, into your arms
A place for any harm to strike with charm
Watch me go, I’m yours, you know I’ll return
Never fading, aiding and a’betting odds
Know your petals, nursery rhymes
Counting cards love me, love me not,
Even this is rigged not to decay
Were your orbit the same
Drifting out of light, out of sight
Out of reach,
Observe me, changers of the night
Growing from something small
Such affections too chrysalize
Atomize, itemize each affection
Oh, how I bloom, blossom even
Listening for another bang, a knock in the dark
Gunshot in the park,
Little less than catch and throes
The years grow dizzy,
Fuzzy even, mold grown on forgotten steaks
How many midsummer mistakes?
Chasing my vectored shadow
Like the shadow of a flame
Pulling everything inward
As too the universe, a black hole fire
Dying, building homes in hollowed out fathers’ chests
Trying to figure how to fireproof a bridge
Not to burn myself,
A bridge to you, sturdy with wood or concrete
Anything else that will endure; like my love for you
Or steel
Let me watch how you build
It’s bound to be miserable work,
Sending out starbound signals
Hoping that a twinkle is in your eye
Spreading that cosmic flame
To body, heart, and soul
@env0writes C.Buck
Ko-Fi & Venmo: @Zenv0
Support Your Local Artist!
Photo by @env0
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Pomegranate
The sky is pomegranate red at sunset.
A wayward cloud
shaped like an arrow
pierces the fruit
and the juice drips secrets
down into vessels, into valleys, into
all the fields and oceans.
Clouds gather. Tides roll in.
I watch from the shore,
shifting with the sand,
asking for my place in all of this.
The roots of trees respond to me:
Be honored. You are witness.
You are watered by the storms you’ve weathered.
You are lifted by the winds and you dance.
You sing.
You journey and return.
You are pulsing, a complex system intertwining,
yet a still and simple thing of nature.
You are many things and many ways
at many times and many places,
and always through it all
you are witness.
There is nothing more precious you can be
than that which you are.
I listen to the rustle of the wild blooms
that sprout from my limbs and face and
heart and everywhere, and I know
that the roots speak true.
I gather the seedlings
that the breeze plucks off my petals
and onward, with an armful of hope, I flow.
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When it Rains in Connecticut
J.S. Carrie
There are frogs everywhere.
They spring out from the cracks in logs,
The bottoms of rivers
And gunk-filled ponds,
And raise their noses proudly to the sky.
If you have seen it, you will know
How very small they are.
How they can rest in just
The crevice of your palm.
And if you’ve seen it,
You will know that there are many.
There are so, so many frogs here,
in the country.
When it rains, and the air is cool,
And the ground is softened
From its usual harshness, and hotness,
They surface out from somewhere to enjoy it.
Dozens- no, hundreds,
Of tiny little people come together.
They gather in bunches
On the dark-paved roads,
In tandem, tilt their heads up to the sky.
Have you seen the way
They close their tiny eyes?
How peacefully, and fully,
They enjoy it.
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Happy Autumn Equinox! As is tradition, here is my annual Autumn poem
BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
I just released my Autumn themed ebook today as well! You can purchase it right here!
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You don’t have to die to haunt someone.
So know there are ghosts among us.
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Horseless Carriages
It seemed like a good idea at the time,
Machines that would speed up our lives,
But on rivers of coal, they poisoned the air,
On the backs of a million souls every year.
-Krissie Alex
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the cold creaking floorboards create a path
treaded by something not there
following the sounds of sleeping
and all the breaths lead it closer
something from beyond is stalking
the night birds stay quiet
hung by the broken-neck tree
even the wind hangs behind
this thing as it silently screams
at the foot of your bed
don't sleep without locking your soul away
//stay quiet by: alec prado//
//photo courtesy of: Neural Horror on Instagram//
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When you sleep, when you are away; when you turn your back and turn away, I am quietly hurting, hiding the tears, the pain, the things that drive me insane. Im hurting really bad, but could you tell? Not at all, and I think we should keep it that way.
NPS
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Since then I've learnt to
not only accept the unknown
but to even appreciate it
for all that with it might come:
Darkness doesn't fear me anymore.
Darkness is what I'm now opting for.
For only when no lantern's shining
one can see the stars in the sky.
And only when the sun is hiding,
behind the clouds that hang up high,
one can hope for rainbows appearing,
one can hope for better times.
Darkness teaches us not to lose faith
and instead finding hope in going our way,
knowing that even with eyes being swathed,
it's our own light that turns night into day.
All pictures taken from pixabay
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August
I name all of my lovers after months now
and all roads lead to August and
the Roman cities we’ve burned —
how she walked on crumbling streets as I held the matches —
this poem is a page for burning at its tip:
a lone match, scalding — a firelit kiss
but the flames have always been a hypnotic sight
like a woman perched in your sunlit bed —
her hair, red as flames licking my neck,
red as love that bleeds on itself;
it leaves a stain on pretty things.
Now her skin has silk sheets burning away
like banners in a Roman cathedral,
her half-breath kisses, dying — now embers,
tainting my dress black where her lips had staked a claim.
Now her touch is wildfire crawling on my skin
and I am a wounded doe — waiting. waiting.
waiting.
The only world I know burns to the ground
before my very eyes
and we are no phoenixes, darling; all we do is burn.
— Fray Narte | written September 6, 2021, first published in Love, Girls' 1st zine issue, SAGISAG
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Silence
Rough Draft- Written 7/11/2023
I am learning
To hold space
For silence
I have spent
My whole life
Hardly breathing
Between words
My mind
Is never quiet
Sometimes
The clamor of thoughts
Is so deafening
It has to pour out
From my mouth-
My throat-
Lest I explode
From the pressure
But
I am not
The only one
With a noisy mind
To give them
Room to have a voice
I need to learn
To give them
The courtesy
Of silence
Not every minute
Second
Moment
Must be filled with words
Sometimes silence
Says more
Than my voice
Ever could
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Umber Embers Vol.2, 9.18.23
“It's Bound To Work Out: Somehow"
Let each day have the opportunity
To ruin it for itself
No need for the days former
To do that on for today
Face each day with gumption
Even as the days grow sad
Pick a target, a focus, an assumption
Even as the rain refuses to fall
Breathe deep the air in your lungs
Pump the blood through your veins
Keep your goals in your mind
No matter the pains
Tomorrow’s problems can’t be afforded
Well warded is today
Full of opportunity to make or break
Any lingering threads of thought; focus
Yesterday’s woes are downstream
Tomorrow’s round the bend
Today has rapids paddling through
Balance, wet and worried
Paddle in hand, I’ll make it through
To see what’s in store for me
And you
@env0writes C.Buck
Ko-Fi & Venmo: @Zenv0
Support Your Local Artist!
Photo by @env0
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Gather your scattered pieces.
Lean them against one another
and let the shape they make shelter you.
Not too much, for those wings you have
are much too wide and eager to fly —
but just enough to come home to.
Bring back the things you find
and layer them over the foundation.
This is how you will live inside yourself
without becoming trapped there.
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Oh Please
J.S. Carrie
I look at trees,
please, please.
I look and wonder
who else sees?
Why scorn
for rhyming poetry,
when both our skin
has touched this breeze?
If you ask me...
Tradition can be lovely.
Tradition can be growth,
even when the growth is new.
Red For Luck
and Celtic Knot
and Nesting Doll
and Handshakes.
Do you prefer paved roads, or cobbled?
We both will see.
(So much-- and never enough to compare it.)
There is music.
So much music,
I will never hear it all.
Despite, with gall,
and valiantly, I try.
I look at trees,
oh please, oh please.
I ponder on them wisely.
Legs burning from the run.
arms heavy from the crates of china,
shipping out.
Fingers stiff from folding cranes,
connecting with all I think of.
Empathy, oh please,
I look at trees.
Oh please,
please,
please,
I look at trees.
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New poem! New poem! New poem!
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I have several very colorful fill-in-the-blanks.
I am sure I do not need to provide a word bank, that can be left to your imagination.
Whatever verbiage you can muster to fill those spaces will undoubtedly be more merciful than anything that I could provide.
You've made it very clear that I am frigid and hopeless but without so much honesty.
Heartless niceties seemed to be your specialty.
What you called an observation, I called gaslighting, manipulation, deception.
Why do I continue to feel your grasp on me, even from 184 miles away?
How come I'm now 21 years old yet you still think I can't make my own decisions.
Why can't I find my own future if it doesn't adhere to your vision for me?
What if I don't want to have a life if you have to be there?
The funny part is that you don't even care.
You seem to think that the world revolves around you but you're wrong.
You're so wrong.
Wrong for teaching me that some people can't be trusted, even if they are the ones supposed to love you more than life.
Wrong for showing me that shit still hurts even if you had "good" intentions, whatever that means.
Wrong for allowing me to see that I will never be good enough for you, and in turn, good enough for me.
You've wronged me.
You've wronged me, and my sister, and my brother, and my cousin, and my friends, and my mother, and countless others.
You can do whatever you want, just don't drag me into it.
I'm done with putting up with your bullshit.
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