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dcxdpdabbles · 9 months

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Alfred's Boy Part 4

"Master Bruce, would it be alright if I had someone over?" Danny's soft voice breaks the chatter around the table. Bruce is honestly surprised to hear the boy speak up without prompting. It takes him a moment to answer how unexpecting the request is.

The boy seems to think his silence is an answer, for he ducks his head and brings up his shoulders. "Nevermind. It was stupid. I'll tell Clockwork to forget it."

"No. No. This is your house as well, Danny. You can invite any of your friends. I'm just surprised Clockwork would allow you to contact guests from your old home." Bruce assures. His eyes flicker to the rest of the table, showing how everyone is focused on their own plates, but all conversation has died.

He is sure half of his children are attempting to develop super hearing with how much they are straining to eavesdrop.

"He's not really a friend, per se." Danny pushes some of his food to one side of his plate. It's a nervous habit Bruce had realized he does when speaking of his old home. Not just food but anything he can fiddle with, as Danny seems unable to hold still when nervous. "Wes and I have....a history, you can say. Clockwork said that he was allowed to visit because he knew what was happening but wasn't too involved with the situation. Not like Sam and Tucker, my best friends, or my sister Jazz. "

A history? Oh no, was this "Wes" an ex?

Bruce looks again at his youngest and fights a wince at Damian's dark sneer as the boy stabs his broccoli. Please let Wes just be anything but an ex. He doesn't want to follow the other kid around to make sure he doesn't have to fight off his children from bringing him harm.

Dick speaks up, likely thinking along the same lines. "I'm glad you can still have someone to see you! When will he be here? Will he be alright with Gotham's....everything?"

A smile is fighting at the corner of Danny's lips, and Bruce swears he can hear his children's hearts shatter as the boy flushes slightly. "Trust me, Wes can handle a lot. Clockwork said he would let Alfred know the details if Master Bruce agreed."

The butler pulls out an old-looking pocket watch. After checking the time, Alfred snaps it close with an impassive smile. "Clockwork will have the boy here in three days. I believe Danny will have a few days off then to enjoy his company?"

It's not really a request, but Bruce still nods. "Of course."

Danny's entire face lights up. It's the most joy he's seen on the boy's face since his arrival. "Thank you, Master Bruce. Thank you, Alfred. Can you please excuse me? I want to prepare his room."

"Of course, dear boy," Alfred nods his head. Danny is gone in a flash, a secret smile pulling at his lips. He waits a few seconds, so Danny's footsteps can fade away before leveling a stern stare at everyone at the table.

Bruce straightens his back out of reflex when that all-knowing stare passes over him. He barely contains a sigh of relief when Alfred slightly lingers on him to transfer his gaze to Damian.

He feels terrible for his son but cannot step between the butler and him. Damian will have to fight this battle on his own.

"I trust everyone here will not give Danny or his guest any grief during his break." It's not a question. It's a camond. Everyone shivers slightly out of fear.

"No."

"You don't have to worry about me"

"I have some stuff to do."

"Of course not Alfred."

Alfred doesn't precisely threaten them, but he does make his eyes a little darker "Danny's guest will not find shadows following him."

A few of his kids look heartbroken, while Jason has an expression of manic glee blooming on his face.

The following night, Danny is asking for ideas on where to take Wes on his tour. Apparently, both are from a small town and are used to having fewer options for entertainment.

"Kids usually either went to the mall or the local burger place. The mall wasn't even that big too, so after a while it got boring" Danny admits.

"You have to take him to Batburger," Jason tells Danny. Bruce fights the urge to leap over the table and punch his child. Jason knows that Danny hadn't gone to the restaurant so a lot of his siblings had been dreaming of taking the boy on a date there.

He's just rubbing salt in the wounds at this point.

"I think I will. I'll take him to museums too. Wes loves history." Danny writes some ideas down in a little notebook. He's taken to carrying it around, brainstorming a perfect weekend there.

Bruce had glanced at it earlier that day, when Danny had been busy cleaning and had read, "Make out point- Dick said the stars are the clearest there."

He almost had a heart attack. For all that Danny was Alfred's boy, Bruce still felt very protective of Danny like his own. He did not want his somewhat son to be going to any place with the name make out point.

No one speaks after that- primarily due to his younger children trying to shift their sobs and the older ones trying to comfort them without letting Danny notice.

Eventually, Cullen gets up from the table, excusing himself with a half-baked excuse of needing to do homework, and Harper chases after him. The two are followed by Tim- whose eyes are glossy- Steph, who looks to be biting her lip. Duke, whose hands are curled into fists, and Damian, who stomps out like a bull about to charge.

Bruce leaps to his feet but is stopped by Dick, who pats his shoulder. "I got this."

"The plot thickens," Jason says before he, too, goes after his siblings. For all his teasing, his second oldest adores his brothers and sisters, so he'll be there in their time of need.

"Is something...wrong?" Danny asks after a moment of hesitation. "I can tell Clockwork and Wes not to do the visit."

"No. You have Wes over. We talk." Cass tells him, giving the boy a wink as she, too, steps away. "Tonight, all ice cream."

"Yes." Alfred sighs. "I do believe that would be best. A frozen treat to soothe the pain of heartbreak. I'll bring up the tubs for everyone in a moment."

Bruce fights the urge to bury his face in his hands as Danny spring to his feet offering to help with the ice cream, unaware he is the cause for the comfort food.

Despite the apparent tension in the manor, the promised weekend does arrive. Danny is beside himself with excitement. He's not wearing a suit for once- he's gotten to copying Alfred in a misguided attempt at a butler uniform- and is wearing street clothes.

Besides, when the first day, Bruce has never seen Danny in street clothes. He's surprised that Danny dresses like a punk rocker- complete with a black leather jacket, big combat boots, and various chains.

He looks like the type of person fathers warn their daughters away from. Bruce hates how that only makes more of his children bestowed.

Danny had given everyone a happy smile when Bruce handed him the keys to one of his sports cars- he saw no reason why Wes and Danny should take a bus to the airport when he had plenty of vehicles to lend him. Alfred had allowed the boy to go alone since Danny needed to go through a particular gate for Wes.

Apparently, Clockwork would be sending Wes on a private plane. It burned not to know who Clockwork was or what he did, but Bruce fought the urge to snoop to get Alfred to stop glaring at him.

"I bet you he's not even that great," Tim grumbles, stuffing a chocolate cookie into his mouth. "Bet you he's ugly."

"With buck teeth" Steph adds stealing her own cookie.

"He likely never even seen a sword," Damian spits.

"Come on guys, I know it sucks, but we can't just dis on Wes 'cause Danny likes him," Duke says though it's not very convincing, seeing as he dropped over the couch in a depressive slouch.

"Why are all the good gays taken?" Cullen sighs, ignoring the meta.

Bruce opens his mouth to offer some comfort or maybe lecture them, but the front door opens before he gets a chance. Everyone sits up only to slump down as Dick strolls in with a cheerful smile. They all glare at him, which makes Dick flauter in his steps for only a second.

"They're waiting for Danny," Bruce tells him. Dicks smile regains his cheer as the oldest throws himself on the couch.

"He's outside with his guest. Lovely guy."

"Is he ugly?" Tim asks hopefully. His dreams are dashed as Dick shakes his head.

"He could be a supermodel."

"Of course, he can."

Jason snorts from behind a book. Bruce knows he is not reading it, simply by the fact he hasn't turned a page in the last ten minutes- his son speed reads whenever he adores a book- and is likely enjoying the show.

The door opens again, this time accompanied by two sets of laughter. An unfamiliar voice wheezes "-Dash then reads out love poems he wrote about Phantom!

"No!" Danny gasps. "Not Dash Baxter. What did the other A-listers do in retaliation?"

"Nothing that's the crazy part. They had poems too!"

The two voices are carrying, so Bruce has a few seconds to prepare himself. So do his kids, who all sit up at attention, a few with not as welcoming expressions as he would like. The voices round the corner, and Bruce looks at Wes first.

Dick was right. He's a handsome young man with ginger hair and flickers of freckles. He is dressed similarly to Danny, but a little less black and slightly more burnt orange to add color to his punk look. A worn-out backpack is swung over his shoulder while the same arm is tugging along a suitcase behind him.

Wes is also holding Danny's hand with a free hand.

Damian makes a slightly wounded sound that digs a dagger into Bruce's heart. His baby's first heartbreak.

Danny looks surprised to see them all, seeing as the family usually prepares to go out as the Bats at this time- but he smiles widely after a moment. "Everyone I like you to meet Wesley Weston. Wes, this is my boss, Bruce Wayne, and his kids, Dick Grayson-wayne, Jason Todd-Wayne, Casandra Wayne, Tim Drake-Wyane, Stephine Brown, Damian Wayne, Cullen Row, and Harper Row."

Wes smiles at them, waving the hand he has interlocked with Danny. Bruce winces as most of his kids give half-hearted greetings. Thankfully Alfred is in the kitchen and misses their terrible manners.

Wes pauses and squits at the youngest of the house before he sighs. "Of course, it happens in this dimension too."

"What?" Danny asks confused

"Danny and I aren't dating," Wes tells the room, ignoring the startled boy he's launched onto. "Danny just needs to have physical contact for his mental health. So we hold hands. He also needs to have someone sleep with him. Otherwise, his core doesn't recharge correctly."

"Wes!" Danny protests. "They don't know about cores!"

"Oh," Wes shrugs, waving his hands at them, "Never mind. Processed as normal, Danny and I will cuddle in his room. Danny lead the way."

Alfred's foster son flushes a bright red but quickly tugs the guest away. Jason shakes from unrestrained laughter as Damian stabs the table on which he is sharpening his knives.

Bruce yells after the two boys.

"The door stays open, Danny!"

"Master Bruce, it's not like that!" Danny yells back, mortified, and Wes breaks into impish laughter.

"I hate him," Duke hisses, and Bruce gives in to the urge to bury his face in his hands.

It's going to be a long weekend.

#dcxdpdabbles #dc x dp crossover #Alfred's boy #Part 4 #Wes is just here for the cuddles #Yes Danny is from a different dimension in this.#Everyone from that dimension is hot #Bruce is trying to dad

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lixern · 6 months

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; xx. wriothesley x gn!reader , modern au

imagine being in a mall youve never gone to before with your friends, so they know the place and you dont. they give you locations but you just cant memorize them all! you tell your friends youre going to the restroom, and they tell you directions to the restaurant theyre going to so you agree to meet up with them there. well.. when you step out- wait, what was the restaurant's name again?

you ponder for awhile, what is it? but then suddenly forget the directions they gave you. god, you just have to wing it.

well, wing it you didnt! you got lost, and didnt see any of your friends in the restaurants you walked pass. you look around for reliable looking people to ask, and there you see a man with black hair with a few gray streaks, with supeeeeerrrr light blue cute eyes! a few piercings and a wolfish appearance to him. you walk up to him and..

tap tap "hey.. uhm- do you know how to get to.." you say, embarassed. you literally just forgot the name!

aha! nevermind that, you just remembered!

"*******. ya, the restaurant? thats the one i think!"

you look like a lost dog!! infront of the most sculpted man youve ever seen aswell... hes so cute, you shouldve asked someone else for directions or your nose probably wouldve bled infront of him if you didnt keep your composture. especially infront of his friends! they looked so attractive too. long, white hair with blue streaks and a dark purplish blue type of hair color? god, youre surprised how such good looking people exist.

he turns to look at you the second you tap him, and now you realize just how tall he is the way he stares down at you!

"Well sure, but the buildings preeeettty big so you want me to escort you?"

wow.. his voice was super hot too. well- wait! nows not the time to dream!!!

you look at him and nod, too stunned at his appearance to speak. you watch him talk to his friends, hearing them but not listening. he then pats your shoulder, signalling your leave. huh.. maybe youll ask his number later.

you walk with him, a bit flustered at how tall he towers over you. should you engage in conversation, should you stay quiet? how do you avoid embarassing yourself infront of a gods creation?!?!

"so, whats your name?"

the man asks in the middle of your pondering, well atleast you dont have to think about that anymore. so.. you give him your name and ask his!

"well, it's [name]. how bout you?"

you sound pretty cool, but inside you arent!! he sounds so pretty, hes indeed a pretty boy..

"wriothesley." he says with a gentle smile, looking down at you with bright eyes. he seems fond of you, but you dont know that!

"rio- rizzley? wosley??" you try to pronounce the name, failing ultimately.

"wrio, for short." he chuckles, patting you on the back. whats up with all the physical affection its driving you mad!!!!!

you laugh slightly, smiling a bit too sweetly for your first interaction and, he notices. but he doesnt wanna scare you away.. youre just so cute!

you talk and talk with him, and hes the same level of talkative as you are! finally, someone who actually responds to your yapping! you just wish he could be your boyfriend right now.. waitwait. you guys just met no way!

its been about 5 or more minutes you guess, then you see him pull out a white card on his bag and write something on it with a pen. he puts the pen back and shoves the card into his pocket. you then speak up, pointing at a restaurant and asking him if its that one. he says yes, nodding as he does so.

"i can go there by myself now, thanks for the help wrio!"

but no, he disagrees.

"nah, i think ill just bring you there. you might get lost even if its just right there."

he smirks, mischievously at that. but.. its kinda cute not gonna lie. so you just nod and walk with him. his hand slides across your side, your hand then the bag you carry, it drives you insane how close you are!

you finally get there, smiling up at him. admiring his pretty face one more time before having to let the sight go.

"thank you really, for the help- I hope it wasnt a distraction to you and your friends hangout or something..."

a light red tint dusts over his cheeks, as he says a polite "your welcome" before walking away. you first fix your composture before entering, but then suddenly.. wait! you forgot to grab his number!!!

"wrio!" you scream, but hes too far to hear you so you just weep internally in vain, before entering the restaurant.

your friends scold you, its been like 20 minutes since they were there! little do they know you got a bit lost.. you sit down beside them, before noticing the pocket in the bag you carried had a little white card peeking out of it...

on the back of the card in the clearest space there is, you read..

i know its just a business card im sorry aha, pretty shit way to tell you my number yeah? but its all i have right now.

maybe you dont have to say goodbye to his pretty face after all.

#genshin imagines #genshin impact #genshin x you #genshin fanfic #genshin fluff #genshin impact fluff #wriothesley #wriothesley x reader #wriothesley x reader fluff #wriothesley fluff #genshin impact wriothesley #genshin impact writing

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iwanthermidnightz · 8 months

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“But this mostly perfect life can feel a lot like being a tiger in an wildlife enclosure. It’s pretty in there, but you can’t get out. It’s peculiar to me that after all these years, I still get so anxious when I see a group of people staring, amassed outside my house, pointing, camera phones up... they could never imagine how much that feels like being hunted. And no matter how big my house is, or how many albums I sell, I’m still going to be the rabbit. Because the hunters will always outnumber me. The spectators will stand by, shaking their heads, going “That poor girl.”

But the point is.. they’re still watching. Everyone loves to watch a good hunt.

I worry for my generation and the ones after that because they will never truly experience a moment without attempting to capture it and own it. I am of the generation where you see a beautiful flower growing up through the cracks in the sidewalk, and you pick it. You take it with you to show everyone you know. Whereas I think our ancestors might come upon a beautiful flower and stop and think ‘Wow. That is really beautiful.“

Nevermind that picking a flower kills it, the same way taking a picture of a moment can ruin it altogether. They needed to possess things. They need photographic proof that they were there. They need to then post that photo online so their friends can see it. So that they can spend all day checking the comments underneath. That level of possession worries me.”

—Taylor in her Lover Diary entries written August 14, 2013

#some of you forgot about this and it shows #stop hunting her #taylor swift #lover diaries

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slut4thebroken · 6 months

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“Childhood Enemies Turned Lovers?” - part 1

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Robert Fischer x reader

Summary | Arranged marriage enemies to lovers au. Need I say more?

Warnings | Angst, fluff?, domestic violence, kind of, slow burn, but not too slow, misogyny, i think, enemies to lovers, alcohol, robert is so fucking sassy lol, slut shaming, flirting, implied/referenced homophobia.

Words | 4.1 k

Notes | We’re not gonna talk about how the reason for this arranged marriage lowkey makes no sense okay? 🤫

Ao3 link | <3

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You’ve hated Robert Fischer for as long as you can remember. Growing up, your father told you that the Fischer’s were no good and their business wasn’t much better. You, of course, believed him. You didn’t know any better.

Unfortunately, you often attended the same events, like charity galas and fundraisers, and every single interaction ended in juvenile bickering. As you got older, you grew to resent him— solely because of the fact that he got hot and you couldn’t have him— and the jabs became more personal. You mocked him for his daddy issues, he mocked you for your reputation— you’re seen a few times with different guys and all of a sudden that makes you a whore, nevermind the fact that half of the guys you were seen with are gayer than Elton John.

But the rivalry between your families was hurting both businesses. And even though neither you nor Robert had anything to do with it, you were still partially responsible apparently. Which is how you found yourself at dinner, sitting next to your father and across from Robert, his father beside him. The tension was thick, one wrong word from anyone and all of this would go down the drain immediately. So you kept your mouth shut, letting your father do the talking.

“As much as we both hate to admit it, we can’t keep this up.” He said and you waited for the point he was trying to make.

“Both of our businesses are struggling because of it and I think we came to a fair solution.” Robert’s father added. You sighed and picked up your wine to stop yourself from telling them to just spit it out already. “We want you both to get married.” You choked on your drink and started coughing as you set the glass back down, Robert had a similar reaction with his food.

“It would end this petty feud and our businesses would be stronger together.” Your father explained and you turned to him in shock, staring at him as if he had grown a second head.

“Are you fucking crazy?” You hissed, making his gaze harden.

“Don’t make a scene. We don’t need you embarrassing the family any further.” He spat, making you clench your jaw and look away. It’s not your fault paparazzi are obsessed with you and stalk you everywhere you go.

“I never thought I’d say this, but I have to agree with her.” Robert finally chimed in, speaking apprehensively.

“Son, you know we’re right.” You watched him soften at his fathers words— what a weak little daddy’s boy. You thought with a scoff.

“No you’re not.” You said, keeping your voice at a normal level.

“That’s not for you to decide.” Your father said and you stood up suddenly, throwing the napkin from your lap onto your plate and grabbing your purse. “Sit back down. We’re not done.” He warned.

“I’m not listening to this shit. Figure out another solution.” You spat. When you tried to walk away, he grabbed your wrist in a bruising grip. You swallowed down a whimper from the pain, not turning back around to face him as your eyes started watering.

“Sit down.” He hissed, tightening his grip until you couldn’t hold down the sound anymore. Thankfully, it didn’t seem like anyone heard it. You moved back to your seat and he let you go.

As you kept your gaze on your lap and rubbed your sore wrist, you could practically feel his gaze on you. Sure enough, when you looked up, Robert was staring at you with a mixture of confusion, concern, and pity.

“I’m sorry. One day I know you both will see this the way we do.” His father said. After a few more minutes of the men conversing and you keeping your head down, your father finally dismissed you and you practically ran out of the restaurant. You texted your driver, then waited outside the building, trying to at least wait until you were in the car to start crying.

“Hi.” You stiffened, then shook your head with a sniffle.

“I don’t need this right now, Fischer.” You said quietly, voice trembling.

“Me neither. I came to ask if you’re okay.” He spoke with a gentleness you didn’t know he was capable of.

“Of course I’m not fucking okay.” You spat viciously. “I’m barely in my mid twenties, I don’t want to marry yet— I’m not ready to marry yet. Let alone you. I want to- to marry someone I love.” Your voice broke pathetically and you kept your gaze forward or down, not able to look at him. He let out a heavy sigh, but didn’t respond, seemingly realizing that nothing he could say would help right now. His hand suddenly touching yours made you flinch as you head snapped to him. He gently lifted your hand and inspected your wrist, running his thumb over the red skin.

“Don’t.” You said sharply, not wanting to feel worse about yourself.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Well you thought it. He’s not— he’s not an abuser, okay? He just doesn’t know his own strength.” You defended weakly. The first part you technically believed, but you knew that what he did was always intentional— one of his ways of asserting his power over you.

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, making your gaze harden.

“I don’t need your pity.” You spat, pulling your hand away. You could’ve cried in relief when your car finally pulled up. He called out for you when you started walking away, making you freeze, then turn back around.

“They told me to tell you there’s going to be a meeting you need to attend next week to go over everything.”

“Is that all?” You asked, voice breaking slightly as you spoke.

He hesitated, then gave you a small, “yes” and you continued walking, now finding the driver standing there with the door open. You spared him one last glance before getting in. Even though you knew he couldn’t see you through the practically black window tint, it still felt like his gaze was on you.

The next few days were spent drinking and crying. Eventually you decided your pity party was over. If you’re about to be married off like fucking cattle, might as well make the most of your time as a free woman, right? Which is how you found yourself at your semi regular hookup’s house.

It wasn’t good. He seemed to realize that your mind was elsewhere and offered to talk, saying you didn’t have to keep going. That made you scoff and snap back some mean retort about how if you wanted to talk, you would’ve hit up a shrink. Which you felt bad about, but it was quickly forgotten.

The meeting was in two days. There were moments when you seriously considered not going… but you didn’t want to find out what the consequences would be. On the day of the meeting, you woke up late— already off to a bad start— and had to quickly wipe off last night's makeup and do your best to reapply it quickly.

When you arrived, the conversation stopped and everyone turned to you, watching you take off your sunglasses as you sat in the only open chair, next to Robert.

“Nice of you to finally join us— and hungover too.” Your father snarked.

“Sorry I’m late.” You said with an exaggerated smile. “Please continue.” The expression dropped almost instantly and you waited for the conversation to pick back up.

It dragged on slowly. They talked about the business and legal aspects of the deal, made sure everyone was on the same page about what they would get out of this arrangement, and you just sat there the whole time, trying not to cry as you thought about how you’d never be able to have a boyfriend— at least not a public one, and he probably wouldn’t want to put up with the secrecy of it all. Those thoughts spiraled into the realization that you’ll never experience being with someone you truly love.

Someone called your name loudly, making your head snap up.

“What?” You asked, trying to push down the panic attack.

“I asked if you were listening.” Your father said, completely unamused.

“I was. I need to just— I need… I have to go to the bathroom.” You scrambled out of your chair, ignoring your father calling out for you, and practically ran to the bathroom. You slammed the door shut and locked it, then leaned against it, trying to take deep breaths as you hyperventilated. Your chest tightened and you doubled over, placing your hands on your knees to steady yourself. Tears quickly filled your eyes when you remembered why you were having a panic attack in the first place.

Someone slammed their fist on the door rapidly, making your breath catch in your throat.

“Come out of there, I’m not going to tell you again.” Your father said, making your crying come back full force.

“I- I’m almost done.” You did your best to get the words out through your sobs and uneven breaths. You waited for him to yell again, maybe get someone to break down the door, but you heard hushed voices, then silence, followed by a quiet knock.

“What?” You croaked.

“He only agreed to let me.. ‘handle’ this, if you actually let me in.” He said tentatively and you had no reason not to believe him, so you unlocked the door, then leaned against the wall so he could come in.

He almost seemed shocked by your current state, probably expecting you to have just run in here out of boredom.

“I can’t. I can’t, Robert.” You whimpered, taking in shaky, uneven breaths.

“I think we can find a way to make this work.” He said softly, making you shake your head.

“I don’t want to be married to you for the rest of my fucking life! I want to marry someone I love, someone I actually want to spend my life with.”

“I know, I do too. Can you just listen to me please?” You don’t think you’ve ever heard him say the word please before. When you stayed silent, he continued. “My father is already very old and within a few years, he’ll most likely pass and the company will be mine. After that I can try to keep the peace with your family and we can get a divorce, then go our separate ways. I know it’s not ideal, but you’re not going to be stuck in a loveless marriage for the rest of your life.” You started to calm down as you processed his words. You really only have to wait maybe five or ten years before this will be over. Which seems like a lot but you’ll still only be in your early to mid thirties. It could be worse.

“You’re right. I didn’t think about it like that.” You said, exhaustion clear in your voice now that you weren’t actively panicking anymore.

“I usually am, you’re just too stubborn to listen to me.” He chuckled, making the corners of your lips curl up into a small smile. “Make yourself presentable, then come back out. The meeting’s almost over but they want us to get lunch together for our first publicity stunt.” You were about to make a snide remark about him telling you to ‘make yourself presentable’ but it died in your throat when you looked in the mirror.

“Oh my god.” You muttered, embarrassed. He chuckled as he left the bathroom and only then did you register what he said— you have to get lunch with him. Looking like you just crawled out of a dumpster after rotting there for a week. You did your best to wipe away the mascara on your face and just touch up the rest of you, in hopes of making your face slightly less noticeable. Taking a deep breath, you held your head high and put on your best fake smile before walking out.

“Sorry, everyone. I hope I didn’t miss anything too important.” Your father gave you a warning glare at your demeanor. “I heard we’re getting lunch?” You said, trying to move the topic away from yourself.

“Yes. You two have made enough of a fuss in public that just jumping right into this will be worse than playing it up, pretending like you’re actually starting to get along now.” Mr. Fischer explained.

“Paparazzi will be there?” You confirmed.

“Yes. So you might want to stop by your apartment first and make yourself presentable.” Your father added, making you take a deep breath as you dug your nails into your hand.

“Got it. Anything else?” You didn’t mean for it to sound sarcastic, but based on your fathers expression, that’s how it came out. Thankfully Robert spoke before he could comment on it.

“They want us to arrive together. Should I meet you at your apartment later or just come with you now?” Your apartment was a mess right now— that’s the last thing you wanted.

“I think it would be best if,”

“Go with her.” Your father answered for you. Robert looked at you questioningly and you gave him a dry smile.

“Sure. Come with me.”

After a short drive, you finally arrived in front of your apartment building. When he started unbuckling his seatbelt, you turned to him.

“Maybe you could.. wait in the car?”

“I don’t want to sit in here for an hour while you get ready.” He scoffed and you rolled your eyes.

“Fine. Suit yourself.”

You led the way and when the front door opened his eyes widened in shock as he stepped inside.

“Welcome to my depression house. This is how it looks when I’m depressed.” You said sarcastically, walking over to grab the empty bottles of alcohol from the coffee table and put them in the trash.

“Should I be offended?” He asked, walking around the messy space.

“Maybe just a little.” You said teasingly. He eyed the pictures of you and your friends—none with your family, he noticed— and the little trinkets you had on the bookshelf, then turned and looked at the rest of the room.

“It’s… cuter than I thought it would be.” He finally turned to you and you raised your brows.

“What, were you expecting an evil lair? Maybe a dungeon?” You asked, amused.

“No, I just… didn’t think you’d have so many decorations, let alone colorful ones.”

“Well I hope you’re good at adapting because you’ll be stuck with this for the next few years.”

“We are not decorating like this.” He scoffed.

“If you want to tell our fathers that you refuse to go through with this because you don’t want to live in a beautiful house, then go ahead.”

“I think they’d understand.” He sneered and you narrowed your eyes at him. He’s not wrong though, your father used to hate how you decorated your room when you lived in his house. He hates the way you decorate your apartment even more though.

“Ever heard of the phrase, ‘happy wife, happy life’? Because it’s true and I’ll enjoy making your life a living hell until you finally give in.” You smirked.

“God— I forgot how much of a stubborn bitch you are when you’re not moping.” He spat and you gaped at him.

“And I forgot how insufferable you can be when you’re not kissing your daddy’s ass!”

“Maybe if you tried that every once in a while, your father wouldn’t treat you the way he does!” He seemed to immediately realize what he said, after he said it. You clenched your jaw and looked down, taking a deep breath. You were already emotional from the meeting, so it wasn’t surprising when your eyes started burning with tears.

You wished he was right. But your father has always treated you the same no matter how you act, you learned that very early on.

“I didn’t mean,”

“Stop.” You said quietly. “I’m just going to go get ready.” You muttered, walking passed him and into your room, closing the door just a little too loudly.

You were mostly just embarrassed now, rather than angry, and you wanted nothing more than to just stay locked in your room today. But you couldn’t. So you redid your makeup, put on a nice outfit with a matching purse, then walked back out. He suddenly stood up from the couch, as if you had caught him doing something he shouldn’t be doing.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have,”

“It’s fine. Next time though, you could at least make the insult true and a little more creative.” You didn’t look at him as you walked past him to grab your keys and open the door. You waited impatiently as he tentatively walked closer.

“God, Fischer, could you move any slower?” You huffed, making him roll his eyes, but speed up.

The car ride to the restaurant was awkward. Neither of you really knew what to say. You were just glad when his phone rang, it felt like it made the tension a little less thick in the small space. You listened to him talk, wondering what the conversation was about. Whoever was on the line was doing most of the talking because he responded with “yes” and “okay” and “I understand” and not much else. When he finally hung up and put his phone back in his pocket, he turned to you.

“That was my father. He wanted to remind us to pretend like we actually want to be there.” You scoffed a laugh, rolling your eyes.

“I’m surprised no one called me to tell me that.”

“I’m guessing they figured I’d take it better and be more successful at convincing you to behave.” He said teasingly.

“Oh, I can behave, Mr. Fischer. Contrary to popular belief I can be a good girl.” Your tone was overly seductive and you batted your eyelashes at him, smirking when his cheeks turned pink.

“Don’t call me that.” It's almost comical the way he thinks he can sway the conversation in the direction he wants.

“What should I call you then? Sir?” He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat.

“Robert is fine.” He said, voice strained. You barked out a laugh, making his cheeks go even redder as he clenched his jaw, not looking at you.

“You’re too easy, Fischer.”

Lunch went surprisingly well. You had a few small spats, but you both made sure to keep the smiles on your faces. Anyone who wasn’t in hearing distance would think you were having a pleasant conversation.

You made the headlines less than 24 hours later. “Childhood Enemies Turned Lovers?” You almost scoffed at the cheesy line— that was seriously the best they could come up with? The pictures included were all carefully selected by a PR team so that people would believe the fake date was actually real.

The following week, your father texted, ‘Sunday early afternoon.’ and nothing else. You figured it was another PR thing, but you texted Robert to be sure. He confirmed that it was indeed another planned ‘date’ and that he’d pick you up at 11, telling you to dress pretty, which made you scoff. You almost did the opposite, just to piss everyone off, but your father’s been off your back a little more than usual, so you decided to just do it. You wore a sundress and a cardigan, hoping it would be “cute” enough. When you got in the car, you frowned.

“Why do I have to wear a dress but you can wear that?” That made him scoff.

“I’m significantly more dressed up than you. Why are you complaining?”

“Yeah but that’s different, you always wear that.”

“I don’t know, okay? I didn’t decide.” You huffed and turned back to face the front of the car with your arms crossed over your chest. “You look good though.” He suddenly said, making your head snap back to him. His gaze was trained on the bare skin of your thighs for a moment before slowly trailing back up your body, lingering on your breasts that were pushed up because of your crossed arms.

“You done yet?” You asked, making his eyes meet yours as his lips curled up into a small smirk.

“No, not yet.” His gaze moved back to your body and you scoffed as your cheeks heated up.

“Fine. Let me know when you’re finished objectifying me please.” You said with faux seriousness, even though part of you was enjoying the attention.

You arrived at a cafe and he held the door open for you to walk inside, making you blush— and need to remind yourself that this wasn’t real. You both ordered your drinks and he paid. Once you were walking outside for a bit, drinks in hand, you couldn’t push down the curiosity anymore.

“Where are we going?”

“A walk.”

“I hate walks.” You frowned, making him turn to you.

“Okay? What am I supposed to do about that? Carry you?” You rolled your eyes at his tone.

“You’re so sassy sometimes, has anyone ever told you that?”

“Not to my face. Why? Did you hear something?” You snorted a laugh at that, making him smile. You walked in comfortable silence for a while, then when his hand suddenly brushed yours, you flinched away from him.

“What are you doing?”

“They didn’t tell you because they figured you’d throw a fit about it— their words, not mine.” He added the last part when he saw your expression.

“Don’t you think holding hands on the second date is a little soon?” He looked over at you with raised brows as he grabbed your hand.

“You’ve been known to do more on less.” You could tell that he didn’t really believe it, he was just teasing you.

“That’s only because those dates were the first ones where the paparazzi actually saw us.” You explained, feeling like you needed to defend your reputation to him. Which was weird cause you’ve never cared too much before.

“That wasn’t denial.” He smirked and you rolled your eyes with a huff.

“What, you think I fuck on the first date too?”

“I didn’t say that.” He defended, making you scoff. “…But based on some of those videos.. I wouldn’t be surprised.” He added tentatively.

“Don’t act like you haven’t been caught doing the same thing. The only reason people don’t call you a slut is because you're a man.”

“Those were all PR stunts.” He said quietly, the teasing tone now slightly gone. “I don’t usually take girls out in public which caused a whole big speculation of me being gay and obviously my father couldn’t have that.” He chuckled dryly, making you frown.

“Are you?” You hoped your tone showed that you weren’t making fun of him, but genuinely asking.

“No.” He said defensively. “Are you?” It almost seemed like he was expecting this big ah ha moment, the way he asked that.

“I don’t know. I’ve never dated a woman— also because of my father. I’ve hooked up with a few, but I never let myself focus on my feelings for them too hard because if I am, then that’s a whole big secret I have to keep and I just really don’t want to worry about that.” Saying it out loud like that made you sound so fucking gay— “And it’s not that I don’t like men!” You added quickly. “I just,”

“I understand.” You both walked in silence for a few more minutes, then let out simultaneous sighs when you saw the first camera. Even though this was staged, you still don’t exactly have fond memories with paparazzi, so it was pretty uncomfortable to say the least.

“Just think,” He murmured against your ear, making you shiver, “after a few pictures, we’re done and you can go back to your depression house with your weird decorations and not have to put up with me for a while.” You couldn’t suppress the laugh from his words and you tried to ignore the way the clicking of the cameras got more intense.

“I actually cleaned. So it’s not a depression house anymore. And they’re not weird, they’re cute and fun.” He pulled back to look at you, the signature ‘son of a millionaire’ smirk on his face.

“Sure they are, sweetheart.” Despite the mocking tone, your entire face turned red from the pet name.

The photos were released later that night, the main ones being you laughing and smiling as he whispered something in your ear. God— you looked so pathetically love sick, it’s disgusting.

part 2

Taglist (join here)

@pedrisgatorade @lunyyx @faebirdie @cillianscrybaby @vivvive @ceruleanrainblues @mrkdvidal1989 @brooklynscherry-z @ohmysatansstuff @d1lf-loverthinqs @butlersluvbot @mandowhatnow @baekhyunstruly @nashja @halleysc6met (didn’t let me tag ->) @crunchsworld @bluujaiwrites @idkdudsworld @miyababby @n1ghtw1ngslver @xxorazz

#robert fischer #robert fischer x reader #robert fischer smut #inception #enemies to lovers #arranged marriage

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cat3ch1sm · 4 months

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hihi! i saw ur requests were open and i was wondering if u could do killua and gon with a reader whos a silly, clumsy, and kinda dumb mf <3

except readers very powerful, on level or even more than them bc reader is a boss fr 🙏

this can be hcs or a oneshot or whatever u want!

(SORRY IF THIS MAKES NO SENSE LMFAO)

☘️~ DW POOKIE I UNDERSTOOD U PERFECTLY!! thanks 4 requestingg ily <33

gn!reader

𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐚 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐨𝐧 𝐰 𝐚 𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐦𝐬𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 <𝟑

୨⎯ 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐚 ⎯୧

killua usually doesn’t have a lot of patience for people with your personality , but he’s honestly seen what you’re actually capable of so he’s more like.. weirded out

as in like, killua knows you’re crazy powerful and generally super capable- so how the hell do you literally manage to trip over every minor obstacle in your path

but tbh gon has kinda warmed him up to those kinds of people. outside of battle situations it’s basically him making sure you and gon don’t get kidnapped or killed or something

and the contrast between your personality during battle and your personality on just a regular day chilling with him and gon is like insane to him. one minute you’re covered in blood and utilizing blazing nen in ways he didn’t even realize were possible, and next you’ve pulled up like a really stupid meme or picture of a cat on your phone and just giggling like an idiot while showing him (and very much still bloodied).

killua asked you about it once and you just kinda gave him that thousand yard stare and he was just like… nvm

apparently your higher functions just shut off after a certain time 😭😭

but back to the clumsy part. because it’s genuinely insane how careless you can be on a daily basis. worse than gon.

“watch out for the fucking pole, y/n!”

“are you even paying attention?”

“what the hell did you even just trip over, you dumbass? there’s nothing even there.”

“holy shit can you be careful for once??”

“I literally watched you take down 10 chimera ants without breaking a sweat and you can’t even pull a push door, you idiot?”

“no, i’m not letting go of your arm because that’s the tenth time you’ve tripped in the past fifteen minutes. you’ll probably kill yourself if i don’t hold your ass up.”

“way to go, dumbass, now you cut your leg. maybe you’ll be less stupid next time” (while begrudgingly fixing you up)

along with being clumsy you can be super absent-minded and get distracted easily. like gon and killua will just be walking and talking and then suddenly stop and realize you stopped like ten feet ago to stare at absolutely fucking nothing.

when they backtrack to get you they’ll be like “wtf are you staring at” and you’ll just snap out of a daze and they’ll realize you weren’t even staring at anything in particular, you just…zoned out😭😭😭

“y/n. y/n? hellooooo? ugh… nevermind.”

⇢ ˗ˏˋ 𝐠𝐨𝐧 ࿐ྂ

we all know gon isn’t actually the silly, slightly air headed kid from the early days of hxh, obviously- but when he’s just with you and killua and there isn’t any danger, you both basically act the same way. believe me yall got killua stressinggg 😭😭

u guys just fuel each others’ silly antics. and while he isn’t as clumsy as you can be, when u guys are together you guys r genuinely a two man wrecking team. you guys are constantly doing silly and sometimes stupid stuff and not at all focusing.

far too many times you both have been walking or running beside each other and just stumbled over each other’s feet and fell to the ground like actual idiots.

you and gon both have the same tendency to get distracted easily. so basically the same scenario from killua’s hcs but you and gon lmfao

he’ll be walking looking at his phone or something and realize the both of you aren’t even beside him anymore.

“y/n? gon? where… you gotta be kidding me. guys. what the hell are you even looking at?!”

little Christmas head canon- you guys absolutely knocked down the tree at least twice.

#anime #hxh headcanons #hxh memes #hunter x hunter #gon x reader #reader x gon #gon freecss headcanons #gon freecss #killua zoldyck x you #reader x killua zoldyck #killua x you #reader x killua #killua zoldyck x reader #killua hc #killua headcanons #killua x reader #killua hxh #killugon #reader x gon free as

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rubra-wav · 2 months

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Hello! If you’re still taking requests for Hazbin Hotel x Reader, how about a one where a new housekeeper captures Husk’s attention and he tries to impress her.

Another separate prompt suggestion can be Husk & the reader wake up in bed together & Husk playfully teases her, I.e, neck kisses, soft tickles, telling her how cute she is, etc.

Husk x housekeeper reader hcs/drabble-ish

A/N Lemon Boy by Cavetown came on as I was writing this, and now I can't stop thinking about it with Husk haha.

Cw: SFW, Fem!reader, romantic

- When Husk first sees the new housekeeper, he's immediately struck by you, surprising himself greatly.

- He inwardly cringes, chiding himself and pushes it to the back of his mind where it sat annoyingly restless.

- Someone like him could never have the type of thing he felt momentarily. Not with his deal weighing heavy on him at least.

- But as you stand there, in much a similar outfit as Niffty with your hands fidgeting with your skirt nervously as Charlie introduces you, he cannot deny how taken he truly is deep down.

- After that, it just gets even worse.

- He notices everything in rapt detail that you do as you around the hotel, and it freaks him out how whipped he is.

- The way your smile lights up when he talks to you is an absolute killer for him.

- He makes a point to be as bitter as possible to scare people away from him and rule out who's actually good verses who's not.

- And when even through all of that, you still smile freely, genuinely with such brightness every time you see him? Has his 'nonexistent' ability to love hard to cover for.

- When it's clear to Husk that his feelings aren't going away, and they are just getting more and more deep, he switches up his approach despite the more pessimistic part of him telling him not to and begins to try to impress you in various ways.

- Showing off tricks he knows how to do with cards, his talent in playing practically any kind of games to do with gambling, stepping in to lift things that are too heavy for you, making you drinks, cooking you stuff.

- Actually smiling at you and talking to you without the usual level of his bitter attitude.

- Other members notice this and tease him about it, but he doesn't let them to get in the way of him trying to woo you.

- When you respond well to it and seem genuinely interested in what he's doing, he thinks of trying to actually approach you to try officially ask you out.

- That's easier said than done, however.

- Every single goddamn member of the hotel seems hellbent on interrupting him every time he finally gets the courage to go try asking.

- Cough. Alastor mostly. Cough.

- After a long line of attempts at asking you out being interrupted, he essentially rage quits at it.

- Storms off as Alastor shows up randomly out of absolutely nowhere in front of his bar, interrupting him mid question as he's just about to try asking for the 7th time that day.

- "God, just fucking forget it. Nevermind." He grumbles out, sending a scathing glare to Alastor who just seems to know what Husk is trying to do and is grinning ecstatically as he sabotaged it yet again.

- After barging out to the hotel balcony, holding his head in his hands as he grits his teeth furiously, he's surprised when he hears your footfalls come to stop behind him.

- He turns to look at you in some confusion as he observes the slightly unsure, nervous look on your face.

- Husk's eyes widen as you ask him the exact same question he was trying to ask, and he feels his heart squeeze embarrassingly warmly at your words.

- Walks up to slowly you and places his hand on your forearm gently as he looks into your eyes and says yes, breathless with how relieved he is that he finally can move to get closer to you.

- You, the sweet maid who'd captivated him from day one.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel husk x reader #hazbin hotel husk #husk headcanons #husk x reader

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jjunieworld · 3 months

Text

25. operation: get him back ⸝ ˚⋆

↳ mostly written, some texts. word count: 1.4k

you and your friends were at the library, textbooks and notebooks covering the table you shared. pencils and pens were still as you talked about anything but the upcoming exams that has been looming over you all for a while now.

“i know nobody wants to hear this right now, especially after everything…” you started. jake let out a loud groan, causing the nearby table to stare at you. you elbowed him and continued. “but honestly, i do feel lighter after talking to soobin. my shoulders don’t feel as heavy.”

your friends sighed and looked away from you. “i’m just glad you can walk a little easier, y/nie. redacted on the other hand…” kai spoke. you laughed a little. “you do know you don’t have to keep calling soobin redacted, right?”

“until he starts acting right that will be the only thing i refer to him as. unless i want to cuss him out.”

the table let out a low chorus of laughs, still trying to be somewhat mindful of the studying students around you all. yunjin pouted and crossed her arms, her pen twirling in her hand.

“i don’t know…” she trailed. “i feel like we should get him back in some way. he has to pay at least somewhat for all this shit.” you furrowed your eyebrows.

“in what way?” yeonjun asked. jake leaned onto the table in anticipation. yunjin uncrossed her arms and rested them on the table.

“i don’t think soobin should be able to sob and apologize his way back into your life. he wants this to be all for a bet, fine. it’ll be all for a bet.”

you looked down to your half written notes as you tried to process what she said. is yunjin saying that you should continue the bet, but from your side? there’s no possible way you’ll be able to do that.

voicing your thoughts, you reply, “i don’t think i can pretend that i don’t love him… that i don’t want to be with him…”

yunjin leaned over the table towards you. “you don’t have to pretend! marina and the diamonds. how to be a heartbreaker. rule number three.”

“rule number three, wear your heart on your cheek,” jake replied. “but never on your sleeve. unless you want to taste defeat.” the rest of your friends joined in. you took in a deep breath.

yunjin tilted her head slightly, “let’s give him a taste of his own medicine. you’ve been drinking from his hands for too long now.”

you shook your head a little. an unapproving and anxious look was on your face as you listened to your friends hype up yunjin’s idea. you tried to be the voice of reason. but a small voice in the back of your head considered her proposal.

twice now he has broken your heart. and you still let him keep it. you still love him, but at what cost? maybe you wouldn’t go to the level soobin did with the bet, but it shouldn’t hurt to put up extra armor. right?

still, you were unsure. “isn’t this just going to make things worse? make us on the same level that he and his friends are on? and besides, i don’t think this is healthy.”

“who cares about that! when they go low, we go lower. he can’t just hurt y/n like that and decide that ‘oh, nevermind! i do actually love you and i meant what i said!’” hueningkai said. his words cut deeply into you, bringing back the memories of the party again.

“cause girls don’t want, we don’t want our hearts to break in two. so it’s better to be fake. can’t risk losing in love again babe!” yunjin exclaimed. your friends began hyping the idea again.

“i agree,” yeonjun said. “he’s been walking all over you, whether he means to or not. just because you love him and he claims to love you.” he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in his chair. “and don’t get me wrong, it’s plausible that soobin does actually genuinely love you like he says he does. but after all of this, it’s a little hard to believe.”

you shook your head a little, deep in thought. you went over yesterday’s events of your talk with soobin. trying to search between the cracks, trying to see if there were any lies in them. anything he was trying to hide. you came up with nothing, or at least, nothing that you could see.

“i don’t know guys… i feel like this will just make the whole situation messier and worse than it already is. and i do still deeply love him, i just don’t see this whole counter bet working.” you finally spoke.

jake wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you close to him into a hug. he leaned his head onto yours. “think it over, y/nie. the decision is ultimately up to you. we’re not gonna try and sway you in either direction.” he gave a pointed look to your friends, who raised their hands slightly in return.

“we’re just cautious about him.” said hueningkai. “we don’t want him to end up hurting you again, y/n. we have to put up protections around your heart.”

if only they knew that that was no use. that soobin already had your heart and you had his. the secret exchange you didn’t tell them about from yesterday.

you sighed deeply once more. you gave the whole proposal one last think over. “a counter bet, i’m not sure about. i just genuinely don’t think that will work. but i am willing to put up some armor. wear my heart on my cheek, if you will, instead of on my sleeve.” yunjin jumped in excitement in her seat and raised her arms, a huge smile on her face.

“and maybe, maybe, we can get him back slightly. and that’s a maybe. i am still in love with him and i don’t want to break his heart despite everything. nothing super drastic. just a reminder that i will no longer be walked over like a welcome mat.” you finished.

yunjin came around the table and pulled you into a hug. you rolled your eyes slightly, a small smile tugging at your lips as you hugged her back. she then returned to her seat, still giddy.

“can we actually start studying again?” jake asked. “because like lowkey, i might actually fail these exams…”

you and your friends all laughed as you picked up your pencils and pens and continued from where you last stopped.

you and yunjin were in your dorm room, surrounded by a bunch of furniture and clothes. yunjin decided that since your other roommate moved out that she was going to move in.

the two of you were now standing in the center of the room, dumbfounded, trying to figure out how you wanted to set the room up. you had your beds figured out since you basically just kept them in the same place, but you were having difficulties with the rest.

“aren’t we going to get in trouble for this?�� you asked for the millionth time since yunjin entered your now shared dorm. once again, she shrugged. “i mean, it shouldn’t matter if i move from one dorm to the other. if they ask, i’ll just tell my old roommate to say that i moved somewhere else or something.”

you shrugged again at that and tried to push the worry out of your head.

after a while, everything was finally organized and cleaned. yunjin was now officially moved in and is your new roommate. the two of you giggled together as you kept opening and closing the door to your new room.

“this is going to be so much fun!” you exclaimed, and yunjin agreed. there were both equally big smiles on your faces. you sat on your respective beds facing each other.

“hm… once you and soobin do get back together this whole setup is going to be very awkward. now that i’m thinking about it… do i really want to room with you?” yunjin contemplated. she then started making fake moaning sounds and you threw a pillow at her in embarrassment. her muffled laughter came from underneath.

“once we get back together?” you then asked. “i thought you were against me getting back with him.”

yunjin shrugged and laid on her bed. “you’re too in love with him to not get back with him at some point. i just hope that now he’s learned his fucking lesson.”

masterlist.

summary: choi soobin has always been the popular kid surrounded by his popular friends. y/n… not so much. one night, soobin and his friends make bet that soobin can’t get y/n to date him in a month. unfortunately for y/n, they’re a hopeless romantic.

A/N: i wanna get him back i wanna make him feel jealous wanna make him feel bad oh i wanna get him back cause then again i really miss him and it makes me real sad oh i want sweet revenge and i want him again i want to get him back back back

taglist: @jjunberry @gothgyuu @spooksh0wbabe @beargyuuzz @carengene @binluvsu @seunnimg @vixensss @kittyhyuka @beomsite (if your name is bold it wouldn’t let me tag you!)

— kipo <3

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herohimbowhore · 6 months

Text

The revolving door of Red Bull drivers within the past decade has always been a topic of discussion.

Webber retires and Ricciardo's in. Vettel leaves for Ferrari and in comes Kyvat. Oops, no Kyvat out, and Verstappen takes his place. Ricciardo leaves and Gasly is promoted to the main team. But Gasly isn't it, and in comes Albon. Nevermind, Albon out and Perez is the man. Or is he?

It's a neverending cycle of one driver in and another replacing him only for rumors about replacements to swirl.

Hundreds of years earlier, similar patterns existed with Henry VIII and his six wives.

This brings forth the question: which wife's narrative suits the most for some of the former and current Red Bull drivers.

Based on the song Ex-Wives from Six: The Musical.

________________________________________________

My name's Catherine Of Aragon

Was married 24 years, I'm a paragon

Of royalty, my loyalty is to the Vatican

So if you try to dump me

You won't try that again

The initial thought for Catherine of Aragon, based solely on being the first wife would be Sebastian Vettel. He's the first Red Bull junior to make it to the main team, take the first win for both Toro Rosso and Red Bull, and win the first championship with the team.

However, Catherine of Aragon is Max Verstappen. Lyrically and based on the narrative, Max Verstappen is most like Catherine.

Paragon of royalty:

This could be translated into a racing lineage. Both of Max's parents were in motorsport. Jos is a former Formula 1 driver, though undeniably nowhere as good as his son. Sophie is a karting and race car driver who competed against Jenson Button, Giancarlo Fisichella, Jarno Trulli, and Nick Heidfeld. Christian Horner in a recent interview on Dax Shepard's podcast eff won with DRS said that he used to kart against Sophie and she beat him.

My loyalty is to the Vatican:

In this situation, the Vatican would be Red Bull. Max's current contract ends in 2028 and he has mentioned many times that he could possibly retire when that contract ends. Max has never talked about a desire to race for another team.

Also, Max is rarely spotted not wearing the team kit. The man is dedicated to the team.

I'm that Boleyn girl

And I'm up next

See, I broke England from the Church

Yeah, I'm that sexy

Why did I lose my head?

Well, my sleeves may be green

But my lipstick's red!

Anne Boleyn is undeniably Sebastian Vettel.

Lyrically and based on the colors mentioned in the song, Sebastian has the makings of the Boleyn girl.

See, I broke England from the Church:

Breaking England from the Church for Sebastian is ending the Red Bull/Sebastian Vettel partnership that had won the team four drivers' championships and four constructors' championships.

Red Bull back then was Sebastian Vettel, they were one and the same. Sebastian got them their first everything and it seemed like a solid partnership until Sebastian signed with Ferrari. Thus, breaking England from the Church, or in this case leaving the team he won with.

Why did I lose my head?:

This is 2020.

Nothing is going right, Sebastian's dropped by Ferrari for Carlos Sainz Jr. Commentators are talking about how he isn't the same Sebastian Vettel and he doesn't have that same level of skill as before, especially in comparison to his younger teammate, Charles Leclerc.

Well, my sleeves may be green but my lipstick's red:

Sebastian retired in Aston Martin green, but he's not going to be remembered as the Aston Martin driver, he'll always be a core piece of Red Bull's history in Formula One.

Another way that this can be interpreted is Christian Horner telling Sebastian that he could always take a year off and come back home (Red Bull) if he wanted after Sebastian was dropped by Ferrari.

Jane Seymour, the only one he truly loved

Rude

When my son was newly born, I died

But I'm not what I seem

Or am I?

Stick around, and you'll suddenly see more

Now, Jane was a difficult one because she could be connected to three different drivers (Sebastian, Daniel, and Checo) at different points in their respective careers. But, in my opinion, based on how the 2023 season has played out, Checo is most like Jane Seymour.

the one he truly loved (rude):

While Checo is probably not the most loved of the drivers for Christian (see: Max, Sebastian, Daniel), the lyric does fit him when put into comparison with Pierre and Alex. Of Checo, Pierre, and Alex, he is the one that was truly loved.

Checo, when not performing to the level that Red Bull wants, has gotten a lot more support than Pierre and Alex. He's also lasted much longer than the other two.

When my son was newly born, I died:

This is Checo's championship aspirations earlier this year.

Just when it looked like Checo could be a legitimate challenger for Max in the drivers' championship, he had a fall in form. After two race wins and only a few points separating them, there was hope that maybe, just maybe Checo could beat Max. But following Miami, Max went on to have a record-breaking amount of consecutive wins. Thus, killing the newly born championship dreams for 2023.

Ich bin Anna of Cleves

When he saw my portrait he was like

Ja!

But I didn't look as good as I did in my pic

Funny how we all discuss that, but never Henry's little

One thing Anna of Cleves and Pierre Gasly had in common was that they both only had a short union with Henry VIII and Red Bull. However, after the breakup, they continued to be tied to their ex.

Anna of Cleves stayed in England and was a present figure in Henry VIII's life after their divorce, sometimes called his sister. Pierre Gasly was demoted to the junior team, AlphaTauri, and stayed there for a few years.

When he saw my portrait he was like, Ja!:

When Daniel left Red Bull, they needed to bring someone in to replace him, and out of the two drivers on the junior team, they picked Pierre. They saw his portrait (his record with the junior team) and thought it good enough to be promoted.

But I didn't look as good as I did in my pic:

Pierre's time with Red Bull is short-lived, just like Anna of Cleves' marriage to Henry VIII. He wasn't performing like Red Bull wanted, therefore, didn't look as good as he did when they signed him. Which led to a premature end and quick replacement just halfway through the 2019 season.

Prick up your ears, I'm the Katherine who lost her head

For my promiscuity outside of wed

Lock up your husbands, lock up your sons

K Howard is here, and the fun's begun

If Pierre is Anna of Cleves, then Alex Albon is Katherine Howard. Much like in the song when Katherine Howard begins singing halfway through Anna of Cleves' verse, Alex Albon began his time with Red Bull halfway through Pierre's contract.

Prick up your ears, I'm the Katherine who lost her head:

Alex's version of losing his head is not getting a contract for 2021 and becoming a test driver for the team. He spent the year without a race seat and it could have been a forever thing.

Katherine was young and married early, Alex was promoted before his time in his rookie year. Both of them were punished for something that was beyond their ability.

K Howard is here, and the fun's begun:

This is Alex with Williams, but still going to Red Bull events like Wings for Life and hanging out with drivers in the Red Bull "family." He's having fun, showing off his ability as a driver, and just making them think about offering him a contract when his contract with Williams ends.

Five down, I'm the final wife

I saw him to the end of his life

I'm the survivor, Catherine Parr

I bet you wanna know how I got this far

I said, I bet you wanna know how I got this far

Now, Catherine Parr, most would think is Sergio Perez. It would make sense, he's still with the team and he was a factor in winning the 2021 drivers' championship and has scored points for the 2022 and 2023 constructors' championship wins.

But Catherine Parr fits with Daniel Ricciardo. He is, in the sense of Red Bull, the survivor.

I saw him to the end of his life:

Daniel coming into Red Bull in 2014 saw Red Bull at the end of the team's first block of domination and the end of Sebastian's career with Red Bull.

This was the Red Bull downfall era as Mercedes was emerging as the top team. Daniel was the only Red Bull driver to get wins for the team. Daniel was there at the end.

I'm the survivor:

Daniel, unlike Pierre, Alex, and now Checo, was able to leave Red Bull with his head held high and a highly regarded driver. When he left, there weren't rumors of him losing his seat. It was on his own terms. He is, to this day, the only one of Max's teammates at Red Bull to beat him and challenge him over the course of a season.

Additionally, even after a downfall after the McLaren stint, Daniel's come back to Red Bull and is considered to be in contention for the second Red Bull seat. He is the survivor of the six Red Bull drivers. When his career seemed like it was going to end, he came back. In Mexico, he was in the top 10 in all sessions during the weekend and gave AlphaTauri their highest Grand Prix finishing of the season. In Brazil, despite rear wing damage that led him to be a lap down and spending most of the race behind Yuki, he was the third-fastest driver.