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#never related so much to someone
bougiebutchbitch · 4 months
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cannot believe that 'yelling at your boss when he repeatedly almost gets you and your crew killed and lies to manipulate you into staying when you try to leave, is not emotional abuse, actually' and 'there is such a thing as a mutually toxic and unhealthy relationship where both parties are incredibly shitty to each other - and this is obviously where Ed and Izzy stand until S2, when it becomes blatantly abusive' is a controversial take. But as this is Abuse Apologism And Ableism, The FandomTM, I really should not be surprised
Just.
I was deep in physically and mentally abusive relationships in my teens/twenties - including relationships that started out with mutual toxicity and bad decisions on all sides, but which became outright physical & mental & other sorts of abuse with myself as the victim. I know my shit.
I suppose I can see where 'Izzy emotionally abused Ed' comes from IF people give literally the most uncharitable interpretation to Every Single Scene, and assume Izzy shouts angrily at Ed and negs him all the time rather than this being how he acts when he's incredibly stressed by circumstance caused directly by Ed and at the end of his fucking rope? Which, as we see in S2... Is not the case.
It's not freaking emotional abuse when you're shouting at your boss who keeps almost getting you and your crew killed. Even if this is NOT a kind or productive way to help Ed deal with his mental health, considering that Ed's actions have consequences that he repeatedly and blithely ignores, it's pretty fucking justified!
It's not freaking emotional abuse if your boss OPENLY LOVES MAIMING PEOPLE AND IS MORE THAN HAPPY TO BURN THEM ALIVE and you encourage that, while upholding his right to not kill with his own hands. Even if he has private breakdowns after the fact because he suffers from black-and-white thinking, dissociates himself from any wrongdoing, and is afraid of his potential to become 'a monster'.
Are these choices helpful? No. Are they kind? No. Is Izzy demonstrating Model Citizen Behaviour? Definitely not.
But it's sure as hell not emotional abuse. And it doesn't justify the physical and emotional abuse Ed puts Izzy through in S2.
Nothing you say can 'make' him hit you. If he chooses to hit you (or... choke you out then repeatedly mutilate you and pressure you to commit suicide and makes you constantly live in fear for your life and the lives of people you care about) he makes that decision himself. Yes, even if you shouted at him first. Yes, even if you were arguing. Yes, even if you were in the wrong in that argument. Yes, even if he has a Tragic BackstoryTM and mental health issues. This shit shouldn't be controversial.
Signed: one of those actual abuse survivors.
#izzy hands#israel hands#the izcourse#ofmd izzy#our flag means death#ofmd#to be clear: I think Izzy was an absolute shitbag in S1!#but. as someone who WAS emotionally AND physically abused just. Idk. The amount of straws people are grasping at#that's... not what emotional abuse looks like. holy shit.#if they were trying to depict that then they frankly did a really bad job lol#I think he was jealous and also worried for himself and HIS crew (who weren't the Revenge crew at that point in time)#I think he egged Ed on. But as we see REPEATED THROUGHOUT THE SHOW#ED DOES ENJOY VIOLENCE#HE LOVES A GOOD MAIM#HE BURNS PEOPLE ALIVE#THEN DISSOCIATES - that's what makes his character so fascinating and relatable to me! but he absolutely kills people#he just can't handle the reality of that or what it says about him#Izzy didn't 'make' him do jack shit. S1 is heavily dedicated to showing just how much Izzy never can get Ed to do what he wants#'Ed was afraid of him'?? wtf where do you even GET that from#if anything Ed is afraid of HIMSELF in that final scene. And he has good reason to be!#That self-loathing and fear of the self is INTEGRAL to him! See: when he's ACTUALLY scared of the fucking kraken#Anyway stop making both Ed and Izzy fundamentally boring by making one wholly good and one wholly bad lol#Izzy did bad shit. He got a good redemption arc and died. a lot of his fans are tired of that arc.#Ed did bad shit. He didn't get a good redemption arc and a lot of his fans are pissed about it.
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bottlehawk · 9 months
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hello guys. the fucked up ecto-inverse of dirkjohn isn't davejake. it's davejane. this has been a psa. and you're welcome
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blaithnne · 1 month
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Menaces when they team up. Need to find a dynamic name I can tag them with that doesn’t sound shippy. Does Kaisen work
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sciencewife · 5 months
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Oh have you ever drawn Caroline saying her incoming “goodbye Caroline” line?
How do you see her when she said it?! I’m curious!
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I had to draw her today so I could say “yes I have”
The following is, of course, my opinion.
To me, Caroline is a very intelligent, clever woman. There’s a misconception that Caroline was being your average ditzy secretary when she says this line, but to me, she was making a clever joke. She probably said it with a smile and a wink at Cave when the recording you hear in old Aperture was originally made. She and Cave worked well with each other and understood one another on a certain level, to where they just knew exactly what the other was talking about. Not sure if telepathic is the right word. But they understood each other more than any other two people in Aperture did.
But there’s a melancholy angle too, I think. Goodbye, Caroline. The meaning changes as the years went by. It starts off as a joke, but I think Caroline gives more and more to Aperture as time passes, and she devotes her life to it (Cave doesn’t call her the backbone of the facility for nothing). She gives even more once Cave falls sick and eventually dies, and she takes over.
Eventually, she’s given so much of herself to Aperture and to science—once she’s given all a human being can possibly give—that, in the end, she becomes Aperture.
Goodbye, Caroline.
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saturated-soul · 1 year
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wish more people talked about agoraphobia because it's such an incredibly lonely experience to be stuck in
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funnywormz · 7 months
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my favourite thing in garashir fics is when garak specifically loves the fact that julian infodumps a lot and that he's "too much" for some ppl......... kinda healing to my heart to see those traits being portrayed as lovable and endearing rather than a bad thing that should be fixed
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aether-weather · 7 months
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haii i saw u wanted requests what about blaze and marine in silly outfits? :3c
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hiya!! sorry it took me so long to answer this, art block hit me right in the middle of drawing this so if some parts look a bit wonky just ignore them (specifically marine's hands. please dont look at them i struggled so much ;-;)
i didnt exactly know what you meant by "silly outfits" so i kinda just drew them in outfits i thought were cool lol
this was super fun to draw though! i hope i did your request justice >:D
now never ask me to draw marine again /lhj
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Somtimes life means you gotta just sit there and play through the entirety of Venba on your switch in one sitting and just. Feel the shrimp emotions
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bugflies00 · 1 month
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like going “hey guys see those lyrics about hating yourself and being a bad person? well since that guy actually turned out to be a bad person you shouldve known” Is Not The Take You Think It Is. purely for the reason that so many people who are mentally ill and/or struggle with self loathing RELATED to that. but unlike him they were not ACTUALLY the bad person being described. i dont know if im being coherent but like. ive seen takes that are essentially implying “hey look at those lyrics that were so relatable to so many people because of mental illness? yeah anyone with a BRAIN couldve seen a bad person wrote that like who ELSE than pieces of shit would relate to that lol”. same goes for his character. people can struggle with mental illness and hate themselves and ALSO be horrible abusive pieces of shit. but do not equate the two or act like we shouldve KNOWN the former because of the latter. that has horrible implications think before you speak idk
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aimseytv · 1 year
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i love zombie apocalypse related anything. writing? i eat that up. art? give it to me. heart breaking angst that’ll make me wanna claw my eyes out? more please
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solradguy · 3 months
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Sometimes I wonder if I'm trans masc just because I'm 6'5" with broad shoulders, flat chest, and a deep voice and >75% of people just clocked me as a man even when I ID'd as a woman still or if I came to that conclusion on my own and then I'm like, man, gender as a whole's just kinda stupid lol Who cares
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lunarharp · 1 year
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leftover vibes from yesterday
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Ok i need you all's opinions for this since my friends are too soft and are way too morally correct and this is the second most unhinged website
I have a horrible problem called "my family are fucking dicks." And no matter how much i try they still constantly disrespect me and treat me like shit
i would've just given up and accepted defeat but the thing is that my sister loves mocking me for what i believe in and stuff so guess what she won't fucking let me boycott and dear mother isn't particularly smart so she lets her
I tried talking, screaming, causing a scene in public, breaking important things like furniture and sentimental stuff, openly talking about fantasizing about hurting others and my love for knives and poison- hell even threatening them and commiting sh but they do not give a fuck about me sadly-
SO ^^ i need even more extreme measures BUT BUT BUT~
Me is not sure if psychologically harassing my sister may be a bit far
I won't do the same to my mother because it isn't really fair to make someone suffer because of their lack of braincells so
Is it a bit too far or should i totally go for it? Xd
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anotherpapercut · 8 months
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hi more drug question
I have been told many many times that using ecstasy will basically fry your seratonin receptors so that you will never be able to feel happy again unless you are using the drug. I am assuming now that this is false but I am curious now as to how false. Is it something that CAN happen if you take too much at once or too often, or is this just random Drug Scary misinformation
Also also since wellbutrin is not an SSRI does LSD work when you are on it or does it also cancel it out
lol that's kind of an extreme version of what I usually hear! you're right that basically the answer here is no. this comes from a couple different things. first is MDMA induced serotonin toxicity, and 2nd is something called "serotonin syndrome" which is a real thing that can happen, but it's really really hard to get like this. prepare for a very long answer lmfaooo
MDMA induced serotonin toxicity occurs when you take too high doses too frequently. MDMA IS slightly neurotoxic, but so are many prescription drugs so don't let that word freak you out too much! basically MDMA works by dumping large amounts of serotonin into your brain, hence why it's the happy/love drug lol. if you take too much too often, your brain will straight up run out of serotonin. obviously that's bad! it's not as simple as "never feeling happy again" but you will essentially have depression for a bit because of lack of serotonin (on its own, low serotonin levels following modest MDMA use is not damaging and resolves within a few days) but the real problem is that if you are on MDMA with depleted serotonin, your brain will continue releasing dopamine which will attach to the serotonin receptors and damage them. this is what can cause long term depression symptoms, the damaged serotonin receptors. ultimately your brain will heal this on its own unless for some reason I guess you keep taking it a lot (which would have no effect. when you take too much MDMA your brain just runs out of serotonin to dump so like. it just won't work lol)?? it can also be treated with the supplement NAC, which I would recommend taking any time you use MDMA because of this!
to sum up MDMA toxicity: it can happen but only if you're misusing it! it's generally recommended that you dont do much more than 1 dose every 3 months or so to make sure your brain has time to reset. research interactions with anything else you're using (prescription or not), take some NAC in the weeks following a dose, drink a lot of water, keep your body temperature regular because that can worsen it, and take some antioxidants like alpha lipoic acid and grape seed oil during/immediately after taking MDMA - it's when you come down that your brain is delicate and could use the protection. also this may sound counterintuitive but weed also has antioxidant properties, so smoking it as you come down helps a lot. also if you DO have MDMA toxicity taking more MDMA will not help u feel happy unfortunately it will just make it worse lol, your brain only has so much serotonin to give
now serotonin syndrome can happen with the misuse of any drug that works on serotonin including MAOIs, SSRIs, and SNRIs, usually by taking a VERY large dose (but some people are just extremely sensitive). it usually takes care of itself eventually, but the amount of time it takes and stuff is kinda hard to pin down bc it's REALLY misunderstood and tends to be overly self diagnosed. again this is like super super hard to do. you would have to take a MASSIVE dose or mix it with other serotonin affecting drugs (ESPECIALLY MAOIs. DO NOT MIX MDMA WITH MAOI ANTI DEPRESSANTS). like 5 times the normal dose at least probably (partner is currently trying to find some literature on it so he'll add that in the replies if he finds anything interesting). it will cause things like heightened anxiety and body temperature and can cause kidney problems or seizures if it's like really bad and untreated. but you'd feel REALLY bad before it got to that point, so in general like, if you take any type of drug and feel extremely bad after go to the doctor lol. mostly this will also just heal itself; your brain is pretty resilient! again usually if this does happen it's very minor. cases bad enough to require hospitalization are exceedingly rare
to give you an example of what these can look like, I have a friend who was given about 3-4 times a regular dose by a fucking piece of shit asshole she knows and, this part is crucial, it was mixed with a very large amount of alcohol AND acid (which can slightly increase the neurotoxicity. normally not a huge issue but becomes one in circumstances like this), AND coke; like she was blackout drunk and while not on a lot of acid or coke, this is just too many things to have in your body and brain at one time. the mixture of such a large amount different drugs caused her what I'm guessing was a mild case of both of these things at once. she experienced slightly worsened depression for about 6 months after, and actually had a mild stutter for almost a year. I made sure she took some NAC and other things that aid brain healing, and she didn't try molly again for a long time to be super sure she didn't overload her brain before it was ready. this is a pretty extreme case, and even with that she has fully recovered thankfully. do NOT EVER do drugs with someone you don't trust with your life. DO NOT EVER do drugs in doses you have not confirmed for yourself to be safe and DO NOT EVER mix drugs without finding out if it's safe!!! just as a small aside though: usually taking molly and acid at the same time is perfectly safe. in fact it's called a candy flip and I HIGHLY recommend it because it's fucking awesome. again, just make sure you are taking safe doses in a safe environment
OKAY now finally your specific question about Wellbutrin: I actually take Wellbutrin so I can answer this one from personal experience! Wellbutrin should not alter the effects of LSD in any way HOWEVER! both of these drugs lower your seizure threshold! I'm on the max dose of Wellbutrin (which is the max dose BECAUSE of seizure risk) so when I plan to drop acid I usually either skip my dose entirely that day or only take half depending on how much acid I'm planning to take. because of the way Wellbutrin works, this shouldn't cause you any problems as far as that goes. for me, not taking my Wellbutrin for a day mainly has the effect of making me more fatigued, and acid counteracts that really well by making me feel very awake/aware. if you don't want to skip or halve your dose though you can also take things that will RAISE your seizure threshold. so like I sometimes will smoke hemp because CBD actually will help with that. the risk here isn't huge either way especially if you have no history of seizures, but again if it's something you're concerned about you should be just fine skipping or lowering your dose for the day. acid usually lasts about 12 hours too so i personally don't even care about skipping the Wellbutrin that much because it basically does the same thing for me. I did take my full Wellbutrin dose the last couple times I've done acid though because I was taking a very small amount of acid (about half a tab)
in summation lol sort of TLDR I generally would recommend MDMA for recreational use because the risks of damage are low and it's safe if you are safe about it. and it's honestly just a really fun one! the only negative effect I've ever felt is some emotional and physical fatigue the following day, and this is largely because of how emotional and energetic you are on it. I just make sure to have the next day off to lay around and listen to music :)
taking it with a partner or loved one will give you an especially beautiful experience, as MDMA has been proven to facilitate extremely open emotional conversations. in fact, when MDMA was first synthesized it's primary use was in psychotherapy! research was shut down during the war on drugs, but in recent studies it's demonstrated amazing abilities to treat and even straight up CURE disorders like PTSD. for a personal anecdote, my partner actually completely fucking cured his alcoholism on a combo of MDMA and whippets (nitrous oxide) lmfao. like dude straight up went from getting black out drunk multiple nights a week to drinking nothing for the past year and a half without any other treatment program. LSD has been proven to have similar incredible results with treating and curing things like depression, anxiety, PTSD and addiction and is also a very fun and very safe one.
sorry to reiterate for the billionth time lol but it's important: these drugs are safe and fun if you make sure they're safe and fun! do your research and never use in an unfamiliar environment with people you wouldn't trust in an emergency! also I know this sounds like a lot, but remember I'm giving you like the absolute safest possible practices and emphasizing sort of over cautiousness because I think it's always better to be too safe. I've taken molly without nac and I've taken kinda big doses a little closer together than I should have without any problems. there's a bit of flexibility to these guidelines, but it's always better to think of them as being rigid so you don't end up too far in the other direction. like I've said it's really really hard to do actual damage that would last more than like a day or 2 max. most of the time you'll just be sleepy the next day from all the dancing so it's nice to do it on a day 1 of a weekend. also it only lasts like a couple of hours lol so it's not your whole day or anything!
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hella1975 · 6 months
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your sokka is SO sokka and i say this as someone who holds him so dear ur writing of him is amazing. tbh im sooo fussy with his portrayal but its pretty nailed. like so many fics (esp zukka and zuko centric and ESPECIALLY ones where hakoda like adopts zuko) he's constantly pushed to the side in favour of zukos issues and zukos problems when in reality sokka is very hurt himself and has suffered a lot. man i GET taob sokka i really do bc people seem to think he was a lil mean but nobody seems to realise when you're in sokkas position it would've read like everyone was against you. all the swt men, including his dad who snapped at him, and even katara and aang and suki tell him to give zuko a chance and the fact that they were trusting someone who had hurt all of them so much- because yes WE know zuko wouldn't have killed them, but the gaang didn't. not when they were being chased and terrorised, and when sokka had his trust betrayed in the prison, he had absolutely every right to hate zuko, esp when it felt like everyone who he thought would understand his feelings, including his own dad who had been hiding his relationship with zuko from him, seems against him. his conversation with hakoda was probably my favourite scene in taob just bc he was allowed to feel like that without being treated by the narrative as someone just being mean to poor little zuko. he gets to be a sourpuss and angry and jealous at zuko for feeling like hed been replaced by his own dad. all of the water tribe men get this treatment like they're not written as bad people for being wary or disliking zuko initially (even chena despite being enemy no.1 at the start). his convo with hakoda was so important bc it stressed the detail that yes zuko has suffered and deserves to be cared for but SOKKA is his son, his actual child who is so hard on himself for things out of his control and who has hurt so much and deserves just as much as zuko does. sokka is just a baby my boy. he's not the main character but he's just as complex and intricate as zuko, not just in taob but also for the times we have seen him in tams there's been keen detail to his emotion and how he's feeling pointed out
me rn
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#BESTIEEEEEEEEE YOU GET IT <333#like ik the atla fandom including unfortunately some taob locals are generally AWFUL with sokka when zuko is involved#but it really was only a handful of taob readers esp in the grand scheme and i do want to clarify that#but now we're on the same page. OH MY GOD WHEN I SAY I WANTED TO PHYSICALLY FIGHT SOME PEOPLE#JUST THE SHAMELESS FAVOURITISM??? THE EXPECTATION THAT I TREAT A CHARACTER AS SOMETHING NOT-HUMAN BC THEY HAPPEN TO BE MEAN TO THEIR FAVE??#like idc if zuko means a lot to you!! idc if it's sad seeing people be mean to him bc you relate to him so much!!#id be a terrible writer if i treated the other characters as planets in zuko's orbit. THEY dont know they're in his story#and sokka is a fucking sixteen year old. like come on i get mad when people do the same with chena being a dick to zuko#but at least he's a grown man. sokka is a TEENAGER. even if he was being irrational that would be completely fair#bc teenagers ARE FAMOUSLOY IRRATIONAL!?!?!?! GO OUTSIDE??!?!?!!?#anyway. im so normal about this topic and hold noooo grudges not any haha#remembering when someone commeted saying me personally as a real life person i was insidious and evil for insinuating#that adopted children arent worth as much as biological children and i should NEVER adopt bc im clearly the Worst#when that is not only an insane thing to say to a stranger on the internet but also. not what happened#hakoda never adopted zuko. that's a joke made in fandom. jokes are when people say untrue things for comedic affect#adoption is an actual official process of willingly and actively bringing a child into your family#NOT taking some teenage symbol of your culture's oppression as a prisoner and unwillingly growing attached#and now he's someone you're fond of and feel protective over as is natural of an adult towards a hurting child#but your actual son feels replaced and it's especially cutting bc of aforementioned symbol of your culture's oppression#and also this specific kid was a dick to him. like as a pretty notable part of his character he was a dick to him#so you reassure him bc that is your actual real life son. yeah?#are we on the same page? are we good? please i dont know how much more i can take-#taob asks#ask
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lilaccatholic · 5 months
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how do i do it though. how do i let go of the bitterness and the hardness when they kept me "okay" for so long? does it come when i finally leave? can it ever?
#babes i actually relate to the frigid angry woman more than im comfortable with but this time there's no prince coming to save her and idk#i was never beautiful but i was and am angry and capable and that's served me well but being angry is exhausting#it's a birthright i can't give to a younger sibling. it doesn't transfer.#i dont inspire devotion. there's no version of this that ends with me waltzing with a true love.#im not the type you launch a thousand ships for.#so what's left?#who am i when i have no one? when ive spent my life making *me* less to make others more? when im nothing but a useful piece of furniture.#i know God loves me! i love Him! but it's not the same. i want *people* to love me. i want to be someone that theyd fight for.#im feeling that 'women have minds and hearts but im so lonely' scene from little women 2019 so much right now.#except im not jo. my family loves me but theyd never do for me what jo's would do for her. theyre also all focused on surviving.#i feel like a military ration. there to be consumed but cast aside the moment something more palatable comes around.#how do i become consumed with joy? how do i let go of the cynicism? its all thats kept me safe! but its choking me too.#its like tony stark in iron man 2. the thing thats kept me alive this far is killing me. i need to find an alternative but its looking like#ill have to synthesize a new element to make it happen and that freaks me out.#ive always been derivative. never an individual. how do i become a trailblazer when my job was always to hold the hand of the one blazing#the trail? how do i become myself happy and free?#because i WANT to be more#i WANT to be more than anger and coldness and a useful idiot. i WANT to be me and be so so happy#but i dont know how to get there#and if someone suggests therapy im shooting you. i dont want to listen to one more person pretend to care about me and tell me#all the things i need to change and spend even longer not learning how to think for myself#i want to be more than this. but i also cant stand the thought of taking up any more space than i do#anyway.#anyone who's read all this thank you and i promise im fine im just in my feelings today lol#im going to work out and get some happy brain chemicals flowing and then ill take a shower and itll all be good.#please dont worry about me! im just having A Moment TM#lilac rambles
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