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plasticflwrs · 3 months

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Beginning with their first episode airing on April 12, 2019, JTBC's SUPERBAND would take sixty male contestants from the indie scene to create their own band in the live finale. The series is composed of fourteen total episodes and concluded on July 12, 2019, with an average of 3% viewership in South Korea. In the end, the top five placements were HOPPIPOLLA, DEATH VALLEY, LUCY, PURPLE RAIN, and MONÉ. The competition was further split into introduction performances, one-on-one battles, two semi-finals, and the live finale with judging by Yoon Jongshin, Yoon Sang, Nell's Kim Jongwan, Linkin Park's Joe Hahn, and AKMU's Lee Suhyun. Superband was met with mixed responses with positives for allowing indie artists to show off their talent for the world and negative ones based on fans not being able to vote until round four, poor judging, and lack of female artists.

THE SOUND OF DEATH VALLEY.

THE MEMBERS OF DEATH VALLEY.

SAWYER LEE ( 1999 ), born as Lee Siyul, is a musician and producer hailing from Chicago, Illinois, United States and currently signed under Superbloom Media. In 2019, he made his first public appearance on Superband and would place second as DEATH VALLEY's leader, pianist, and vocalist.

KO SEUNGMIN ( 1999 ) is a musician and teacher from Seoul, South Korea. After the unofficial "disbandment" of DEATH VALLEY—where he was the drummer—he would become a secondary music teacher to fall back on. As of 2022, he signed with JYP's Studio J and debuted as the drummer of DOGFIGHT.

YOON TAEYUN ( 2000 ) is a musician and member of SAFETY ZONE, which still remains independent to this day. He competed on Superband with his members, however, they were all eliminated before the semi-finals. Taeyun would join DEATH VALLEY as their bassist and one of their lead producers.

OLIVER SONG ( 2001 ) is a member of the idol band PLASTIC FLOWERS, serving as their guitarist and lead vocalist, and calls Boston, Massachusetts his hometown. He is currently signed under Superbloom Media and has risen alongside his original members to become one of the best selling bands in the industry.

THE OLIVER SONG EXPERIENCE ... INTRODUCTION — ROUND THREE.

Coming into Superband, no one knew who OLIVER SONG was. Plastic Flowers was still struggling to sell 1,000 copies of their new albums and the band had just wrapped on promotions for Hypocreep just the month before. On April 12, Oliver would be introduced to the public as one of the vocalists on Superband with his cover of Fleetwood Mac's BIG LOVE, from their fourteenth studio album TANGO IN THE NIGHT. Though he impressed judges with his fingerpicking and vocals, they would complain the cover did not go "far enough" as his own rendition of such an iconic song. With just his voice and a guitar, the judges were also surprised by his attention to the cameras and basic stage presence. It was noted early into his critiques that not only had he debuted as a member of PLASTIC FLOWERS, but he was the YOUNGEST CONTESTANT as well.

This would also begin the small feud he had with Linkin Park's JOE HAHN as he wanted to push Oliver to his true potential throughout the competition. LEE SUHYUN enjoyed his performance the most and they actually remain close friends outside of Superband. According to the judges, his nerves got in the way of what would have been a great performance and Oliver needed to work on that for future rounds. Despite this, Oliver was chosen as a FRONTMAN for the first round of performances.

Teaming with pianist SAWYER LEE, bassist SHIN DURI, and drummer JEONG ILSEONG, he was demoted to just vocalist and found it difficult to perform without something in his hands. They went with a cover of Nirvana this time, choosing HEART-SHAPED BOX to showcase their individual talents. However, the song was met with less than stellar reviews because the group lacked synergy and lost to their rivals, who performed a cover of TVXQ's hit MIROTIC. All the members were considered for elimination and sadly, Duri and Ilseong were let go by the judges. They have since gone on to create other bands and are relatively successful despite their short run. However, this loss messed with Oliver's confidence moving forward and this would give him the UNDERDOG edit for the rest of the season. It was obvious that the judges and production liked Oliver, but without him proving his worth, they struggled to keep his momentum in the first few episodes.

Poppies were sad to see Oliver have very little confidence throughout the beginning of Superband and many have stated they cannot watch before episode 7. For the second round, Oliver was chosen as a surprise by drummer PARK YEONGJIN to join himself, YANG JIWAN, KIM HAJIN, and ISAAC HONG in a cover of Lorde's ROYALS. According to Yeongjin, this would be the only time that they could work together and he wanted to test the dynamic. Going against the now iconic An Seongjin team with their original composition of F=MA, Gwyn was nervous but his team had something up their sleeves. From their initial composition with Yeongjin's now iconic, "the two that sing" before calling both Isaac and Gwyn as their vocalists, this team was different.

There was the initial worry that finding a middle ground was going to be impossible for the five musicians as seen in the confessionals. Oliver was still surprised even when being interviewed and apologies were given by Park Yeongjin as a joke to the vocalists. Though not much was seen from the initial practices, the five members quickly came together to formulate the perfect arrogant with Oliver being told to sing "arrogantly" by his teammates. From the first moments of their performance, everyone was shocked to see this new, darker side of Isaac and Oliver as they shared the stage in a duet. For this performance, Oliver showed off his abilities on the keyboard and other instruments to provide the perfect sound when he was not singing. The most iconic part was the bridge as Isaac and Oliver provided harmonization and belted to the gods as their instrumental counterparts highlighted their own talents, with the last minute going viral with fans.

According to the judges, this performance was the ultimate reversal. Gwyn was even given the opportunity to shout out his bandmates when stating that he had done rock and roll with their previous releases and was surprisingly more confident than in the previous stages. He was successful in making the judges his fans from this performance as they enjoyed seeing a more confident side of the idol. Nell's Kim Jongwan and Mystic Entertainment's Yoon Jongshin became his biggest supporter from this moment. With two iconic performances, this could have gone either way and thankfully, the judges voted 2:3 in favor of Royals, securing their first win.

Coming off their win with Royals, Park Yeongjin decided to KEEP his lineup for a second performance of THE TIME OF MY LIFE from Dirty Dancing. Unlike the previous round, it was less shocking when they decided to stick together. However, they struggled when choosing a song as the expectations were already high for the group. Utilizing the same positions as before, Oliver remained the second vocalist, keyboardist, and synthesizer. He also had to give some 'dance' lessons to Isaac Hong for the performance, bringing them much closer as the 'brothers' of Superband. Another successful performance, they won against Shin Hyeongbin's team 4:1.

THE FORMATION OF DEATH VALLEY ... ROUND FOUR — SEMI FINALS.

After the third round, the bands could reshuffle for the last time before creating their respective bands. Having proved himself competent enough to stand against Isaac Hong, Oliver was a popular choice for those desperate to make it to the last few episodes. However, he had already made promises to SAWYER and they just needed to find two more partners—a bassist and a drummer. The pair had made a pack after Oliver's second win in that last episode and wanted to show the judges that they could work well together. They went for the overlooked options as neither TAEYUN nor SEUNGMIN had been a part of a winning team but seemed interested in making the same type of music as them. Within the first twenty minutes, they were the second group to finish choosing members. Many were surprised by the lineup considering how popular both Sawyer and Oliver were, but they had a plan forming in the background.

In the fourth round, Sawyer's team would release one last cover of OSASIS'S CHAMPAGNE SUPERNOVA, which was met with stellar reviews from the judges. Oliver was much more relaxed and confident on stage, especially now that he had his guitar back in hand. Seeing how Isaac's freedom on stage was taken positively, Oliver let go as he swung the microphone around and did some stupid dances. Rather than focusing on keeping what made Champagne Supernova iconic in the first place, Sawyer and his team would put a few of their own touches on the song and just have fun being on stage. his welcomed change awarded the band with 453 points, tying them with LEE JUHYEOK and the future members of LUCY for second place. The judging panel complimented their composition, calling it something they had not seen yet and Oliver's newfound confidence. It was even advised that they stick together by Yoon Jongshin as they had found something great together.

With compliments like that, they formed DEATH VALLEY in the 12th episode of Superband. No one was surprised to see this lineup when they all met together before the performances. As their first live performance with an actual audience, SEUNGMIN was worried that about impressing the fans as they were all struggled with confidence throughout the show.

They presented their first original composition in the form of FARTHER AND FARTHER, a ballad about longing and memories. In their critiques, YOON SANG stated that seeing this newfound freedom from both OLIVER and SAWYER was amazing compared to the first round. While the song was met with great feedback from both judges and fans, there was no overtaking LUCY with CRY BIRD. Death Valley, however, did take SECOND PLACE with 7,410 votes.

OUR PAGE was definitely a Plastic Flowers reject and Poppies were quick to notice after the episode aired. Despite this, they earned almost a perfect score from the live audience and secured FIRST PLACE with 7,470 points, with HOPPIPOLLA not far behind them. With the two having very similar performances that showcased a new side of their bands, it made many confused as to what the audience and judges were looking for. They were given, once again positive feedback from the judges, however, they were given the challenge to make something more exciting. While these songs were good, none of them seemed like lead singles for their first album and Joe Hahn wanted to see that from the quartet in their next performance as it was the last stage. If they could make something lead single-worthy, they would have no problem winning.

SECOND PLACE IS THE FIRST LOSER ... THE LIVE FINALE.

Taking the advice of Joe Hahn to heart, the members of Death Valley got to work on their next song. For leader Siyul, it would make no sense for the group to prepare a cover this late into the game and need to come up with something brand new. They took similar themes from OUR PAGE and transformed them for TAKE MY HAND, a promise to their new fans and breaking away from the fear that had held onto them throughout the entire competition. They kept with their FLOWER BOY aesthetic and fought hard against their competitors, however, OLIVER struggles with his in-ear caused some weird sections as he attempted to shove the device back into his ear to hear the music, which was clocked by both judges and the audience. Death Valley ended up ranking SECOND OVERALL in the competition, earning 27,389 votes total.

THE AFTERMATH ... WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

Following the end of Superband, each other members went their separate ways. OLIVER returned to Plastic Flowers and his popularity during Superband brought the first wave of new fans to the band. He has since become the creative lead of the team along with debuting as a soloist in March of 2023. SAWYER followed close behind Gwyn and signed with Superbloom Media as a songwriter and producer. The pair often collaborate, as seen with Burnout Syndrome. Sawyer currently has no plans of debuting solo or in another band at the current moment. SEUNGMIN returned to his college program and recently earned his teaching license in South Korea! Though he went back to his original band, he wanted to complete his degree to have something to lean back on as DOGFIGHT struggled to gain relevance. Finally, TAEYUN went back to SAFETY ZONE, which remains an independent artist to this day and tries to release music consistently.

DEATH VALLEY would, of course, reunite not long after filming ended for the SUPERBAND TOUR, where the top five bands all reconnected. It was a bittersweet time for their fans and they promised to come back soon, which never did happen. With the FIVE-YEAR anniversary of Superband happening in 2024, the members have teased the potential for a reunion and even their own album. Given how busy each member is, it's not surprising that nothing has been set in stone but they promise something will come!

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illneverrecover · 1 year

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make it right - epilogue | kth & knj (M)

➛pairing: Kim Taehyung x reader ft. Kim Namjoon x reader ➛summary: He had offered to be there with you when you read it, which you had considered. He has always been supportive of you and your emotions, and you knew you could rely on him to be your rock through this, too, should you need it. But there was a little piece of you that felt it was important to be willing to face this alone; willing to face the consequences and fallout of your actions without the crutch of your current love. ➛genre: starting out musician!AU, smut, angst. SMANGST. ➛word count: 5327 ➛rating: explicit/mature ➛warnings: mentions of previous infidelity, mentions of mature situations, a lot of talk about healing and self reflection, also about self growth, cursing, previous installments contain smut. ➛notes: Well this was a long, long time coming. If you’ve stuck around this long - I appreciate you more than you will know! Many apologies for the wait, but damn, was life being a bitch for a hot minute. This was very cathartic for me to write for many reasons, and I hope you enjoy! Just to be clear, this series isn’t here to romanticize infidelity, or make light of it -- but instead show how things aren’t always so black and white in real life. In reality, there are numerous, messy shades of grey, and things can become complicated very easily. This is barely edited and completely unbeta’ed, as I’m trying to be more authentic and less of a perfectionist when it comes to my writing as a personal goal in 2023. It’s been holding me back for far too long, and I’ve missed being creative. Be gentle, and let me know what you think! (P.S. - if you pick up on the TS reference, pls know I’m giving you a forehead kiss) ➛song: everythinggoes (with Nell) - RM, NELL & Girl of My Dreams (with SUGA) - Juice WRLD, SUGA, BTS ➛tagging: @jimins-ass-eater, @thatlongspringnight ➛Chapter 1 ➛ Chapter 2 ➛ Chapter 3

Everything, everything, everything goes

Time passes. Despite change, despite everything moving and falling apart and rebuilding again, time always passes. It is unavoidable, it is necessary. It is healing simply in its existence.

Namjoon sees that now more than anything.

It’s hard to believe it’s been a year – a year since you walked out, since everything changed. Since his actions and inactions had finally caught up to him, and so had the consequences.

He wanted to blame you. It would be easier to do so, he thought in the beginning, considering how everything fell apart. But it wouldn’t be honest, and it wouldn’t make him feel any better. He thought himself a good man, after all, and good men accept the fallout from their misdeeds. They dig deep and do some introspection and maybe see a therapist, and they try to be better.

He wanted to be better.

It wasn’t easy. Looking into the depths of his mind and soul and inspecting his worst flaws is a raw, painful thing at any time, but especially after what had happened. He meditated more, channeled his feelings into his writing in the studio, and continued to work on himself. His relationship with the new producer, Mina, continued to blossom, but this time without the tainting of his indiscretions, without the shame and guilt. Namjoon found what grew between them was more beautiful this way; tending to the soil and ensuring proper watering allowed him to be his sincere, natural self, giving way to a love that came easy.

It was hard when Yoongi left the studio, though Namjoon would be lying if he said he didn’t see it coming. It was on good terms, thanks to both of them being pragmatic despite their friendship, but it still stung. Another consequence to his transgressions, another person affected by his shortcomings. Yoongi had told him he was thinking of opening his own studio for a while, but Namjoon was almost positive the incident (and the aftermath) is what accelerated his timeline and had him leaving a few months later.

Taehyung’s resignation had been less surprising, though equally professional. He offered to finish out his contract or to leave immediately – not wanting to leave the studio hanging, but also knowing the position this was putting Namjoon in. Namjoon could appreciate the gesture, even through the betrayal, and allowed the younger man to finish up some tracks and part ways amicably. It wasn’t long before Taehyung’s name was being released as Yoongi’s first talent, and though it felt like someone had punched him in the chest, Namjoon couldn’t help but be proud.

He would always support them, even if they didn’t know it.

He poured himself into his work, into his music. His first passion, his first love. She always welcomed him with warm arms, always gave him confidence and solitude to work through whatever melodies and cacophonies were clouding his mind. And as he worked through self reflection and discovery, she was there to help him work through the tougher emotions, the painful feelings, until he had a full fledged album. A raw and new piece of his soul, ready to share with the world, whenever Namjoon was ready to be vulnerable.

So much had changed in a year. He isn’t sure if this present version of himself would even recognize the Namjoon from before, the person that he was. But he knows he wants to continue to impress that version of himself, and make him proud.

He was ready to share his music — and himself — with the world, but before he could, he needed to do one last thing.

Taehyung wasn’t sure why Namjoon had wanted to see him.

His mind began racing the minute he received the text, saw the name that he hadn’t had the guts to ever delete or block from his phone. It had been almost a year since he had last been in communication with the man, when he had put in his notice at the studio.

So much had changed in a year. He had signed with Yoongi, worked extremely hard in the new studio, and was making music he was really, really proud of. And to top it all off, he was doing it with you by his side, out in the open, for the world to see. No longer having to hide his love was one of the best things to ever happen to Taehyung, and he’d never tire of basking you in it.

But Namjoon had asked to meet for coffee, and Taehyung couldn’t think of a reason to say no. If anything, he felt like he owed his old friend - his hyung, his brother - the time and space to say whatever it was he wanted to him. It was the least he could do, considering.

Taehyung doesn’t regret loving you, but the guilt still gnaws at him from time to time over how things went down with Namjoon. It was you who would always reassure him that if anyone was to blame, it was you, and would help him work through his feelings.

He had thought about reaching out to Namjoon in the months following the aftermath – to apologize, to explain where he was coming from, how genuine his feelings were for you, that he never meant to hurt him – but realized that this would only be to assuage his own shame and guilt, not because it would be anything that Namjoon actually needed to hear. That didn’t seem fair to put on him, after everything else, and so he vowed to keep his apologies to his journal for the time being. Resolved that if Namjoon wanted closure, he would let him know.

Taehyung hopes that’s what this meeting is about, if he’s being honest with himself. He has run this scenario through his head a million times, and out of all the conclusions he could reach, it would be the ideal one. Certainly, Namjoon would have every right to ask him to meet up if only to have a chance to give him a solid sucker punch in the face, and Taehyung wouldn’t be able to fault him for that.

But despite knowing that things will never be the same, he would at least like for there to be peace between the two of them, for your sake if nothing else.

The coffee shop is spacious, well lit by the copious windows adorning the front of the building, and fairly quiet, considering its size. Mismatched plush couches and chairs decorated the room alongside coffee tables of varying shapes and forms, surrounded by walls lined with bookshelves stuffed to the brim. It is a very Namjoon place to pick, Taehyung thinks, deciding to peruse the menu and order before searching for his friend.

He finds Namjoon in a back corner, tucked in an alcove that is built into the bookshelves, the only booth in the entire shop. He has one hand cupped around a mug of hot liquid, the other scrolling his phone, not seeing Taehyung approach.

Taking a deep breath, Taehyung slides himself into the booth opposite him.

“Hey,”

Namjoon’s eyes flick up, surprise on his face quickly melting into a familiar grin. “Hey, Taehyung. How are you? You look well,”

Taehyung lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, his shoulders relaxing at the elder’s tone. “Yeah, I’m good, I’m doing well. How about you? You look great,” he compliments, realizing that he means it. Namjoon has more life and color in his face than Taehyung remembered seeing in years, a new softness in his eyes that makes him seem lighter, more free. “You look happy.”

“Thank you, I’m getting there,” Namjoon chuckles, a shy smile on his face. “It’s been a lot of work, but it’s been worth it.”

For a moment, they just smile and nod at each other, a comfortable and familiar silence stretching between them. There’s so much that Taehyung wants to ask, that he wants to say, but he follows Namjoon’s lead, instead sipping on his hot chocolate while he waits for the other man to speak.

“So, there’s some things that I need to say to you. And it might be a lot, and I’ll probably talk for a stupid amount of time, but I’m asking for you to listen ‘til the end, if you could,” Namjoon pauses then, his hand rubbing the back of his neck as he winces. “If it’s too much, or if you don’t have the time for this, then I understand completely, but–”

“No, of course I have time, it’s okay. I want to hear what you have to say.” Taehyung reassures, giving him a nod. “Whatever you need.”

Namjoon smiles, taking a deep breath.

“When I first met Y/N, she was… the brightest light,” he looks down at his drink, face softening. “So bright that she drew everyone to her like moths to flame. I was so drawn to her, so attracted to her light. That first night at the karaoke bar, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. She was shining so bright, and everyone was watching. I normally wouldn’t approach someone in a bar, but it was like I couldn’t help myself. I knew I’d kick myself if I didn’t go over, or if someone else did first, so I finally went up to her. Told her some corny joke, and she laughed hysterically.” He laughs to himself, and Taehyung smiles. That sounds like the you he knows, too. “And the moment she laughed, I was instantly hooked. I asked for her number, about floating out of that bar when she kissed me. We became inseparable. Spent all of our time together, and the rest happened quickly. I’m sure you know how she is – it’s so easy to get wrapped up in her warmth, her fire.”

Taehyung dips his chin, his lips curling into a smirk against his volition. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

Namjoon’s jaw flexes at those words, otherwise he seems to have no reaction, swallowing before he continues.

“After she moved in, things were good – comfortable, a little predictable, but good. I felt safe and confident, knowing that she was always there, always around when I needed a bit of that light. And eventually, that comfort became complacency.” Namjoon shakes his head, drawing another breath. “I started taking advantage of the fact that she would be there when I needed. I got wrapped up in my music, and instead of trying to bring her into that with me, or share that piece of myself, I shut her out. Told myself she wouldn’t understand. Convinced myself that it would be okay once my hard work paid off and she could see the final product. But looking back, it was all excuses to be selfish and to do whatever I wanted, knowing that she loved me enough to put up with it.”

“I’m not proud of myself for that. There’s thousands, millions of different ways that you can kill the person you love. The slowest way is not loving them enough, not giving them enough of your time – but not having the strength to let them go. She tried talking to me, telling me what she needed from me, begging me to spend time with her, and instead of being strong enough to let her go, I kept making promises I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep. It was fucked up, what I did. I just- I wasn’t ready to lose that fire,”

Taehyung didn’t trust his voice, so instead he nods, easily empathizing with the older man. He intimately knows that fire that Namjoon spoke of, understood its siren call, the unbelievable warmth it is to be loved by you. But at the same time, he realizes how much Namjoon’s admission gets under his skin – knowing that you were in that much pain, remembering seeing you suffer, watching you fall apart and try to hide it from everyone – it angers him, hearing Namjoon own to the fact that he knew he was hurting you, but didn’t walk away.

He must not be schooling his face as well as he thinks, because Namjoon sighs as he rubs his face with his hand. “I get it. Trust me, I know it wasn’t okay. But when you’ve been in the dark for so long, finding someone like Y/N – you want to be loved by her, want just a piece of that for yourself. I’m not justifying my actions, but hopefully explaining where my mind was at the time,” he continues, taking a sip of his drink. “I was already not being the man she needed, already not meeting her expectations. And when Mina started at the studio, and started helping me with some of the tracks… I hate to say it, but it was easy to let myself get distracted. I was so wrapped up in myself and what was going on with me, I didn’t see just how far away she had slipped - not only emotionally, but physically, intimately. It seemed like it went from incessant texts about when I was coming home, begging to spend time with me, to… nothing at all. She went radio silent, started going out of the house more, started hanging around you guys more. I remember thinking to myself, ‘Well at least it seems like she’s found something to entertain herself, now she won’t always worry about me’. How clueless could I be? So fucking stupid, and selfish.”

Namjoon gives the younger man a moment to process his words before he continues. “After everything went down, I… I’m not proud of this, but I got drunk one night, and I kinda begged some information off of Jimin,” Namjoon winces again, casting his eyes down. “It’s not Jimin’s fault, I think he honestly just felt bad for me, so please don’t be upset with him. He really didn’t tell me much, but he confirmed that… the two of you,” he gestures with his hands towards Taehyung, “ started… being together on her birthday.”

Taehyung feels his heart drop in his chest, his pulse racing at the admission, unsure of why the fact that Namjoon now knew this piece of information makes him feel a bit more ashamed.

“Which means, it started way after she had ‘the talk’ with me, way after she began to pull away and I just let her go – hell, encouraged it, even. When she showed up at the apartment the day I found out, Y/N kept telling me it didn’t matter what happened, or who’s fault it was… that we had both done hurtful things and it was time to move on. And I think even with her saying that, even as she was breaking things off with me, she was still trying to protect me in a way. Still trying to shoulder all of the blame, especially because of the affair. But the truth is, I don’t blame her for any of it. I blame myself.”

He meets Taehyung’s gaze straight on. “I may not have physically cheated, and sure, she may have been the first to step out, but what choice did I leave her? I abandoned her long before she got together with you. I don’t know when or how it happened, but I woke up one day and I stopped choosing her, and started only choosing myself. And the worst part is, she fought to try and fix things between us, and it was like I had blinders on. I still couldn’t stop choosing myself. I was so damn cocky, so sure of myself…” He swallows thickly. “She still fought, still chose me over and over, so it never crossed my mind that she would cheat. But honestly, I don’t blame her. She wasn’t being taken care of the way she should, the way she deserved.”

Taehyung is surprised to see tears welling in Namjoon’s eyes; the sheer amount of emotion he is willing to share in front of him shocking overall. Namjoon always keeps things so close to the chest.

“And then you swooped in and saved the day,” Namjoon continues, giving the younger man a wry grin. “Again, I get it. I can understand why you were drawn to her, why you were drawn to each other. I was mad, at first. Jealous mostly, if I was being honest with myself, but that’s because I’ve always been a bit possessive. But the more I sat with my thoughts, the more I realized that I was… relieved. Relieved to know that she had someone during that time, that she was being taken care of in all the ways that I failed to. Relieved to know that it was with someone that I know and trust to truly have her best interest at heart. That if it was anyone, it was you.”

Now it’s Taehyung’s turn to have his smile turn watery and soft. “Namjoon, I-”

“No, you promised to let me finish, remember?”

He doesn’t wait for confirmation before speaking again. “I know it sounds crazy, but that's why I asked you to come here. I wanted..” he trails away, hands fidgeting in his lap until his eyes snap to Taehyung. “I wanted to thank you, for taking care of her, for loving her. The way she should be… the way I couldn’t.” He doesn’t hide his tears this time, instead letting one trail down his cheek. “And if it’s alright with you, I have basically written down what we spoke about today, and I would like to give this letter to her - along with the offer of a meet up, if she’d like. Before the album comes out.”

That gets Taehyung’s attention. “What do you mean? Is there something she should be worried about, or-?”

“N-No! No, not at all, nothing like that,” Namjoon waves off the concern with a hand. “But there are some emotional songs that I worked on after the break up, and it feels like the right thing to do would be to give her the chance to hear them first, before everyone else.”

There is nothing that comes to Taehyung’s mind that would be a good argument against that - Namjoon is right, it is the courteous thing to do, to allow her the privacy of that moment before the rest of the world had a chance to dissect it into a million pieces.

“And I didn’t want to reach out without talking to you first, out of respect for you both. It didn’t feel right approaching her directly… again, I want to give her time to process, you know?”

Taehyung nods in agreement, appreciating the foresight. “Thank you for that, I think that will mean a lot to her.”

“So you’ll give it to her? The letter?”

There is a part of Taehyung that didn’t want to, if he was being honest, didn’t know if it’s worth reopening the old wounds that you had worked so hard to close. That chapter of your life was something you worked hard to move past, and though you made it clear you wished Namjoon well, you hadn’t asked to meet up with him in the year since the split. There really hasn’t been a need to, once you got your things out of the apartment and moved into Taehyung’s place.

But if he makes that choice for you, would it be any better than what Namjoon had done? Would he be any better?

“Of course. I can’t promise she’ll want to meet, but – I’ll give it to her, I promise.”

Relief sags Namjoon’s shoulders, and he lowers his head in gratitude. “Thank you, that’s all I ask. And thank you again, for meeting with me today. I promise my only intention here is closure, and respect.”

“Does that mean I’m allowed to say something now?”

“Taehyung, you really don’t have to, there isn’t anything to say–”

“Just let me get this off my chest, please,” Taehyung begs, a hint of desperation in his gaze. “I know this probably doesn’t mean much, and I completely understand why… but for the record, I am so sorry that I hurt you. I wish it hadn’t come to that.”

“Come on, Tae, like I said-”

“Let me finish.” Taehyung raises his voice slightly, just enough that Namjoon knows he’s serious. “I sincerely mean that. I don’t regret being with Y/N, and I won’t pretend to. I really do love her, and your words and… approval,” he chokes on the word, as if the marvel of it isn’t lost on him, “mean more to me than I think you can understand. But I really hate that you were hurt in the process, regardless of what was going on at the time.”

Namjoon waits, taking another sip of his drink to ensure Taehyung is finished before speaking again.

“Apology accepted. I appreciate you saying that, really. But I mean… what would you have done differently? No matter what choices were made, the outcome was inevitable. She was never going to tolerate my shit forever, and it was the catalyst. Considering I wasn’t exactly innocent in my behaviors, either, I get it. It wasn’t okay, what any of us did, but I get it.”

The world is never as black and white as we would like it to be, never as quickly and neatly explained as the human brain would prefer. There are many shades of the foggy grays and dark misty blacks and every level of fading ink in between, a messy cacophony of varying gradients. If anyone can understand that, it’s Taehyung.

“That’s probably the best way to put it. It wasn’t okay, but I get it. What you did, what we all did. But I do think people are capable of change, if they truly want it. And it sounds like you’ve come a long way,” Taehyung gives a wide grin then, feeling the lightest he has in a long time. “ I wish you nothing but luck and success in your journey - both with your love life and with your music. I genuinely mean that, Joon. We’ll always be rooting for you.”

Namjoon matches the younger man's carefree smile, any remaining tension easing away from his posture. “Thanks, bro. I’m always rooting for you guys, too. All of you - Yoongi included. If you ever need anything, even just some ears or a hype man, I’m here.”

More pleasantries and gratitudes are exchanged before Namjoon is standing, pulling Taehyung into a quick embrace before gearing up to leave the coffee shop, holding up a buzzing phone in explanation. “Sorry, I gotta take this - thanks again!”

Everything changes, and everything stays the same.

You aren’t sure how long you stare at the letter before you decide to open it. It must be a few hours at least, because Taehyung had given it to you in the bright light of early afternoon, and now the sky was turning faded pinks and oranges, sun ready to rest for the day.

He had offered to be there with you when you read it, which you had considered. He has always been supportive of you and your emotions, and you knew you could rely on him to be your rock through this, too, should you need it.

But there was a little piece of you that felt it was important to be willing to face this alone; willing to face the consequences and fallout of your actions without the crutch of your current love.

Your friends had rallied around you after the initial fallout, surprisingly, and though you weren’t sure you had deserved that, you certainly appreciated them for it. They gave you the confidence to keep moving forward, to battle with your demons, and you would always be grateful to them for showing up in your time of need.

You are stronger now, more healed than you were when you had last seen Namjoon a year ago. Not fully healed, because healing isn’t linear, but you are working on it and yourself. An excellent therapist had been the start of the self love journey, and it was with her help that you were able to confront some difficult truths and soothe old wounds, feeling more secure in your skin than you had in years.

You had even started working on your music again, though you could say that was Yoongi’s fault if anything, since he kept saying he was tired of you lounging around his studio for free. He had practically shoved you into the booth one day, asking for you to warm up and lay a raw track for some backing vocals to earn your keep, and you had complied easily. It wasn’t the worst thing he could have you doing there, and it soothed you to be able to work with music, even in a small capacity.

And Taehyung.

Taehyung had been amazing through it all; your grounding peace during the storm, your home in the form of a person. His devotion and endless understanding and love was more than you could dream of, more than you ever thought you would know, and you can’t help but to feel like the luckiest person in the world to get to experience it.

Picking up the letter, you take a deep breath, centering yourself before folding it open, eyes quickly scanning the words awaiting you.

He wasn’t mad, wasn’t angry. Instead, he was apologizing, giving explanations for his actions while telling you not to blame yourself, offering to meet up to talk things out if you’d like. Or if you didn’t want to talk, to at least get a copy of his new album so that you could listen to it before it dropped, since there were some personal songs included that he thought you may want to hear in private.

Overall, it was a short note; but kind, considerate. A softer side of the Namjoon you used to remember, from the early days.

You didn’t need to think about how you wanted to proceed, instead picking up your phone and sending a text to your ex-fiancé.

It had been you that insisted on meeting some place outside, wanting to keep the encounter quick and pleasant. You weren’t sure how he was going to reply to your text letting him know that you were willing to meet for the album, but not to talk, but in standard Namjoon style, he didn’t seem bothered. Taehyung told you he supported your decision no matter what, which you knew would be his response, but you truly didn’t feel the need to continue to hash this out. You had both apologized and moved on, and the past was in the past.

You certainly appreciate his dedication to his own healing, and can empathize with the need of writing a letter for closure, but that was enough for you. You didn’t need anything else in order to forgive him.

You had forgiven him long ago.

You and Taehyung made plans to listen to the album together, knowing that you would want his warmth and comfort both physically and emotionally during, and you let that thought comfort you as you walk towards the meeting point, eyes scanning the park for the taller man.

A tap on your shoulder has you turning, peering up at a dimpled grin.

“Hey,”

You give him a shy smile. “Hi, Joon.”

He has a small manila envelope in his hands, your name scrolled in black sharpie on the front, and his fingers tap against the material a few times before he thrusts it towards you.

“Well, here it is. It’s a USB, but it has all the songs plus the album concept art. I hope you like it, but uh, even if you don’t, I thought it was only right to let you hear it before everyone else does.”

His awkwardness makes you want to giggle, but you stifle the urge, not wanting to make him feel self conscious. Taking the parcel from his hands, you slide it in your bag before glancing back up at him. “Thank you, I really appreciate that. I’m sure I will like it. Your music has always been amazing.”

The tips of Namjoon’s ears start to redden, and he scoffs bashfully. “Ahh, you gotta warn me before you say nice things to me, I’m not prepared.”

You laugh then, his deeper chuckle joining in after a few moments, and it felt good to laugh so carefree with him again. Something you didn’t think you would ever have the chance to do.

“Well, it was good to see you, Joon. Thanks for this,” you tap your bag twice, “I’m excited to listen.”

“Thanks. It was good to see you as well, you look great. Really h-happy,” Namjoon stutters over his words, the sentiment rushing out, “It’s what you deserve - to be happy.”

Your heart squeezes in your chest, a piece of your soul healed by the words you didn’t know you needed to hear out loud.

“I am really happy,” you confirm, unable to hide your smile. “Like, almost disgustingly happy, it’s pretty annoying.”

You laugh, but this time he doesn’t join you.

“Good.”

And before you can think of how to reply, he’s gone, faded back into the bustle of the crowd like he was never there.

Taehyung already has your favorite wine opened by the time you arrive home, a glass placed in your hand once you walk through the door. He’s all easy smiles, nonchalant as he asks about the meeting, steadfast and attentive as he listens while putting the finishing touches on dinner.

He’s made one of your comfort meals, and you spoon it into bowls before carrying them into his office-slash-studio, cozying up on his lounger before putting the thumb drive into the computer. He queues it up, sliding the mouse closer to his reach as he settles beside you, pulling a blanket to cover your laps.

You hand him his bowl, and he pulls you in for a kiss. It’s quick, but there’s heat underneath the gentle pressure of his mouth.

“Are you ready?”

You look into his warm gaze, the affection evident in the soft way he drinks you in. He has one hand cupped around his bowl, the other on your thigh under the blanket, giving reassuring squeezes as the silence ebbs on.

It’s not that you were afraid of what you would hear, or that you thought Namjoon would do anything to hurt you. But you know hearing your previous relationship's downfall from his point of view could bring up some lingering pain, and you wanted to be able to process and work through it so you could continue to heal.

It’s what he deserved, what you all deserved.

The old version of you wouldn’t be able to handle this, certainly not next to someone like Taehyung. Wouldn’t be able to bear the vulnerability, or having a witness to the potential flood of emotions that could come at any moment. But over this past year, you’ve learned that you are worthy of a love that makes you feel safe enough to be your authentic self - and in turn to allow your true self to be loved.

You knew that you were safe, here under the blanket on the loveseat in Taehyung’s cozy little studio, next to the man you love.

“I’m ready.”

Just like the night leaves and the morning comes The spring leaves and summer comes, but Just like the flowers and summer sunshine Everything must be hurt Breathe the world The air in my lungs is full of cold air I want to run away From long hours of pain and dullness

Everyday I pray (everyday I pray) That I may become a slightly better adult And everyday I stay (everyday I stay) People die with their pain one day We can not be eternity in dream Words like "Cheer up" can not be real Instead of plausible words It hope it goes like a wind (Everything, everything, everything goes Everything everything else goes)

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