#neg tw

[sadistpet]

neg, tbd

#i might have to um . take a break for a little bit . im feeling not very good in my brain #just very disconnected and kinda feel like nothing i make is. acceptable ig #beautiful princess disorder things ig. but yeah #ill try and get stuff done this week along with my college stuff #truly just do not feel within the world at the current moment x_x #g: ¦ ❝ ooc. ❞ #tbd #neg tw

[wellfell]

jj.k fandom makes me so uncomfortable for some reason so i might just remove all my jj.k muses or just make them friends only ?? idk i feel so terrible .

#hehe ... #it's sad . i really REALLY loved sat.osugu . like a lot . #ooc. #neg tw

[chrisbangz]

gonna try to do the things i've been tagged in recently soon 🫡

#l.txt #neg tw #a bit(?) #still trying to solidify my top groups/songs of the year for that one thing #i feel guilty for being like half online #but i don't rlly have the energy to do anything other than rb or queue so i don't get behind on that at least #feel like a slug more than a person lately lol... #i appreciate still being mentioned/tagged in things even tho i always procrastinate on acknowledging/doing it haha #(it will happen again i'm sry 🥲) #i wait for the energy hit that nvr comes so then i just force myself to do it lol #and ik ppl don't care if you do the tag things or not it's obvs not an obligation #but i still feel guilty like i don't want ppl to think i'm ignoring them :') #cuz it's nvr that i'm just slow at getting back to ppl (irl and online) #i try to get to everything in time #i also have the worst memory in the world so that doesn't help lol 🫠

[trellia]

I'm really not doing good today. I had a horrible night that did not end well at all. Now I feel angry, sad, depressed. I don't know how to get out of it even tho I always do. But idk, damage was done last night.

I can't even vent this anywhere but here because someone I know will see and make sure to shame me for that too.

Honestly, I do believe i'm a terrible person now. I'm not saying that for attention, but this is how I was made to feel. I get told I'm doing something wrong and then told I've been doing this for years and no one told me because 'it's not a big deal'? But it clearly was if you got angry. How am I supposed to know? Because now you just blew up and it caught me off guard. I'm supposed to know all these cues, all these ways of doing things, and if I don't I'm a bad person.

I also got shamed for... posting about adhd on my own socials. I've been shamed for not giving enough when I give everything I possibly can. I never give enough. I never do enough. The people I care most for think I'm malicious when I do something like overexplaining myself... I try not to, but I can't help it, because if I don't, they'll keep being angry with me, and then they get angry because I'm explaining. I try to show that I AM interrested in what they do by letting them know how awesome it is and how i can relate -- but that means taking the spotlight away from them. I barely even talk about what I enjoy in the first place because I get judged. I get told it's lame or 'cringe'.

At this point I'll be quiet. I won't say anything anymore. I just want to disapear because clearly all I do is hurt and not give enough to those I love. And when I put my foot down, that makes me awful....

#rant #rant tw #negative tw #neg tw

[scoupssolo]

semi-permanent-Idk hiatus

i've been thinking about this for so long it's honestly kind of stupid. But I’ve lost a lot of passion for creating and sharing for seventeen. Don't get me wrong, Cheol and the boys are still the loves of my life i still adore them and i want to create and they make me creative but I just cant take the stress. I feel like I’ve spent so much time and so much money sharing and creating for the fandom and hours upon hours creating things that just don't get traction. and yeah that's whiny I know it, but I literally find myself constantly stopping halfway through an elaborate gfx because im like whats the point when if I don't reblog it 20 times it wont even hit 50 notes. and i know my content isn't for everyone and i know i'm not making content for a more popular member so i can't really expect much, but i spend more time arguing with reposters than anything else on here. And it just really hurts. and i know that's stupid and silly but I can’t help it. I spend so much time recording and compiling things and spend money to share things and I just feel so disconnected from everything. I know i’m also at fault for the fact that i’m so insanely shy I cannot talk to ppl first, ever. but I don't know... I spent a good 20 hours on making content for cheol’s birthday this year and didn't bother to post after a few days because it's so disheartening. 

I don't want to stop making content for him, I love him more than anything in the world to be quite honest, and it just shatters my heart to not make things, but it also just sucks to watch them flop almost constantly. i don't know if i’m just extra sensitive because i’ve had covid for over a week or if i'm just hitting a limit but i don't know if I wanna keep making things or sharing things on here anymore. I wont remove any of the masterlists i've made or paid content i’ve shared, I just won't be making more or any of that. as least not for a while. And I’m not saying. I don't love it here because I do there are so many people I love and adore on here, that I wish I was better at talking to and being friends with because I’d probably feel less bleh. And this isn't anyone else's fault and i'm not upset or mad at ppl (except reposters i still hope they all choke) but i'm just not sure anymore, and until I am i’ll probably just be active on @chanstopher. Im sorry this is so long and full of complaining, I just am sad and needed to finally get it out. 

if you read this far i appreciate it, and I’m sorry for being so negative. I’ll still answer asks and questions and help ppl because I can’t help it, it’s who I am. I just dont think I’ll be making anything for a while, or maybe at all. I’m not sure. I’m hoping a break will help and I’ll want to do it anyway damned the notes, but I’m really just not sure right now.

love Dreamy

#neg tw #ok im gonna go do anything else but be online right now <3 #i'll probably post on cheol's birthday and then that will be it til ??? #i know like 10 ppl will care about this asdg but thats fine #edit: i really appreciate all the asks i’ve gotten but i’m not gonna post the responses #just know i appreciate them and i love you all very much

[yagiyags]

tfw u feel u just lost all ur friends bc ur p sure they went to a new fandom

#😮‍💨 #i hate feeling like everytime i make friends they end up abandoning me #yelling into the void; #neg tw

[gaygxnslinger]

hey fun fact im a transmasc guy so if ur transphobic get the hell off my blog :thumbsup: 

you are not welcome here do not reblog my posts.

#out of heavy // ooc #not abt any of the rpc #one of the caydewives rbed my post bc i forgot to block em on this specific blog #and obv they have SO much more problems than just that #but that's the most blatant thing for me given it's literally in her header #neg tw

[chanstopher]

does chan actually hate himself/say bad things about himselg? i thought he’d said it before on lives but my friend told me im just projecting onto someone i dont know and that i was being parasocial for worrying about him… im scared im just projecting now :(

chris definitely has self esteem issues, he talks about them very regularly on his lives. he’s insecure about just about everything and is pretty vocal about it so I don’t know why your friend would say you’re projecting?? a quick search on google or youtube would give them examples, hes talked numerous times about the fact that skz has saved his life and how they help him every day.

#drm.ask #anon #neg tw #self hate tw #im not sure if this needs more tws but i’ll at least put those

[cheersnap]

so i don’t really wanna bring stuff from the twitter fandom on here because people there are insane, but it has come to my and a couple friends’ attention that there might be someone in the st rpc who’s friends with a certain group on st twitter who’ve been calling hell.cheers p*dos and h*mophobes and have harassed gr.ace v.an di.en since the release of s4.

so i’m just gonna put this out as a blanket statement right now, if you’ve even once entertained these thoughts or have seen people do it and just let it happen, please hardblock me. you are a horrible horrible person

#( i’m not gonna name drop because it’s just highly highly speculated rn #there’s just a lottttt of things that tie together about this person here and on twitter #but [redacted] if you ever come across this. all i have to say is go to hell! ) #ooc. #neg tw

[lxghtbound]

being real here, if anyone wants threads with me, you need to talk to me. i dont like writing open ended starters anymore bc they dont end up going anywhere. i want to interact with people but god does it feel hard bc people barely send me asks, even hc ones to get to know my muses bc theyre a whole lot easier to answer too. people are going 100 miles an hour developing lore with others and i feel like im getting left behind bc no one is interested.

or if ive missed a thread response tell me. they get lost sometimes bc when im drafting things i’ll miss it. i wont just drop it without letting you know or at least making a post abt it

this isnt a post begging for people to pay attention to me or whatever but i am just. done right now. dont feel pressured if ur not interested in my muses that’s fine

#ooc #neg tw #but also important #this isnt a vaguepost #this is just #general

[cyanocoraxx]

my dad tried to get in contact with me today about me becoming a qualified first aider at work and sent me a friend request. like. ok. ok ok ok you don’t GET to pretend we’re friends or fine in any way just because i’m successful now. fuck you. i wasn’t “allowed” to add you on ANY social media for the longest time and now you pop up because you see me doing well for myself? after spending my entire life shitting on me, hitting me, encouraging me to commit suicide, stopping me from getting a job, not allowing me to have money, not allowing me to shower or timing me when i did (leading to me and my siblings using buckets instead), stopping me from going to the toilet at night, laughing at me when i went through severe psychosis because of you, filming me and my siblings when we were upset or having autistic meltdowns, following me in your car, and  making me do illegal work as a kid just because you were lazy? you get where i’m going with this <3 i’m not ok today and he just Topped It Off tm

#txt #neg tw #abuse tw #physical abuse tw #ableism tw #the audacityyyyyyy #anyway. im a qualified first aider a mental health first aider a fire marshal and a mental health champion at my job so suck it

[wellfell]

i apologize for my silence . it's been uh kind of a collage of bad days for me and i try to focus and write but i think i just can't . so if i'm not responding i'm not ignoring you . 🤍

#ooc. #neg tw

[opalscave-moved]

I am going to bed but I promise I’ll send out everything I owe tmr. I’ve been feeling extremely insecure lately and I feel like a lot of people don’t want me around so I’ve been… hesitant.

#neg tw #negative tw #☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐎𝐏𝐀𝐋 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 [ ooc ] #I love y’all

[alwayshorrible]

vent :/

#✝ — ooc #neg tw #vent tw #(god i hate my mom #sorry to sound like a rebellious teenager but like #i’m in a republican household (cringe) #and my mom is so weird about me being online #like i have to hide tumblr and discord so she doesn’t see #and she keeps giving me weird religious self-righteous lectures about the dangers of the internet #and how she doesn’t want the cops to show up because i’m doing something on here #like ma’am i’m an adult #and i hate you #i can’t wait until i can move out #it’s even worse because like if she finds out i’m trans i’m done for

[faehrys]

what exactly do they do behind the scenes 😭 they have an editor and mr beast management who sorts everything for them. every other episode seems like they haven’t even bothered to think of a structure before they press record. For the irl recordings they didn’t even test the audio. Not every white man is interesting enough to warrant hosting a podcast. They are lazy and banter is bad.

it’s obvious you don’t even like them so what are you doing on my blog and in my inbox

#????? #you don’t even know anything they do #go away lmao #neg tw

[gaygxnslinger]

#out of heavy // ooc #neg tw #IT'S SO MUCH COMPLAINING #FELLAS #WE HAVE TO WAIT AN EXTRA WHAT. 3 HOURS? A DAY AT MAX #literally go do something else #go take a breath of fresh air #play a different game #we still have the rest of the season #and if they ended up taking a ridiculous amount of time theyd extend the season by a week anyway